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#forced to experience shame for all of them…
cupidhoons · 3 days
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LIKE THE MOVIES — AN EVENT HELD BY CUPIDHOONS
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୨୧ OH LOOK! IT'S A LOVE LETTER . . . WHO COULD HAVE WROTE IT? HOW CLICHÉ — IT READS 'FROM ANONYMOUS!' WHAT A SHAME ... I'D KISS THEM RIGHT NOW IF I COULD!
✉️ take a peak! we've all seen the movies 'she's all that' or '10 things i hate about you' and all sorts of rom-coms. they all have unique plots with the concept of falling in love. but there is one thing they all have in common — the cliché love tropes. from the endless bickering from kat stratford to the fake dating tropes — we all dream to experience such love...so what better way than to write it?
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WOULD YOU LIKE TO RECEIVE A LOVER LETTER, TOO?
001 this writing event is only for enhypen x fmr ( female reader ) or gnr ( gender neutral reader ) & is strictly sfw. slightly suggestive fics is okay
002 in order to partake in this event, you must; reblog this post & tag 2-3 mutuals + state the enhypen member you are writing for or follow me (not forced) & comment "joining + (enha member)!"
003 only up to five people can write for one member. if you plan to write ot7 headcanons or scenarios, clarify with me in my dms remember: early bird gets the worm!
004 pick your favorite cliché trope(s) and/or base your fic off of a favorite rom-com of yours!
ex. 'she's all that' with heeseung or 'another cinderella story' with sunghoon
005 your work can be; a long oneshot, thought, drabble, timestamp, or headcanons keep in mind to also add a word count, the genre, and warnings!
006 once your work is posted, you can either tag me or link the event somewhere in your post. also be sure so use the tag '੭୧ — like the movies 🎞️'
007 lastly, have fun with this! this event is supposed to be lighthearted and to have creativity!
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a note from liz i hope you guys join >< i can't wait to read all your works!!
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4theluvofsapphos · 2 days
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Devil's Advocate 2/?
A/N: I LIED THERE MIGHT BE MORE LOL ,,,
Warnings: R passes from an implied inebriated fall (DDDNE), Drinking, Smoking, Mentions of a high/drug related analogies/metaphors(?),  Heavy Sadism/Masochism, Blood + Blood Drinking, Slut-Shaming/Harsh Degrading, Dubious Consent (R is bound by contract, yet still consents + is sober, so I’m not sure if this is dubious consent or not, but I’m not taking any chances afhksdfj), Brief mentions of being apathetic towards death/life 
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“Going somewhere, starlight?” 
Your gaze snapped up, and you were met with two black, heeled boots. Confused at first, your automatic instinct was to back peddle, to get a better look at whoever–or whatever– it was that stood before you. 
You didn’t know what to say. You were going to ask where you were, who–what this thing was…yet the back of your mind told you what you didn’t want to hear. You knew where you were, and who you stood before. 
“Satan…?” you ask meekly, your voice coming out a sad, squeaky whisper. You kept your eyes trained on those boots, your body completely still, too terrified to look any higher. Like a rabbit, you felt your heart pounding against your rib cage, your eyes wide with terror, yet they also ebbed with curiosity. 
A low hum affirmed your beliefs, the shoes in front of you shifting slightly, accommodating the movement of the being attached to them. Kneeling, the Lightbringer’s hands came into your view.
In retrospect, you kneeled before them…not the other way around.
Slender, strong, pale…large. One bore a beautiful Jade ring, encrusted with gold- lavishly contrasting the fairness of their skin. You realized then that they were likely much taller than you had anticipated. 
To be fair, you hadn't anticipated Satan at all. 
“You will call me ‘Your Majesty’...or you will call me ‘Lightbringer’.” Their voice lilted with a sort of melodious cadence, rumbling from deep within their chest. It sounded like a lullaby, a psalm. It flowed like honey and settled into a space between your heart and your mind effortlessly.
There was no arguing with The Lightbringer. “Ah- uhm…y-yes of course Your Majesty.” Moments passed before you spoke up again, uncomfortable with the prolonged silence. “Is this all Hell is-? A big corridor?” 
The blonde’s gaze softened at your confusion, lips pursing ever so slightly. “Hardly…you simply happened to land in my chambers— which on its own is rather odd, I must say.” 
The fallen angel then gently clasped your chin between their index finger and thumb, slowly guiding your eyes to behold their own piercing blues. You felt your throat knot, eyes swelling with tears, feeling like you were face to face with the very consequences of your actions. 
“And you died recently, didn’t you?” They hummed, as if they didn’t know exactly how and when you died. Under what circumstances, there was no question they knew that too. “Y-Yes–, Your Majesty.” The words sputtered pathetically from your lips as you looked up at them, drinking in their cherubic features for the first time. 
Magical, was the only word you could manage to place on the entire experience. Their eyes were bright, lashes as light as their platinum locks of curled hair, sitting upon their head like a halo. The small scar along the right side of their lip more prominently shown when the Lightbringer smiled ever so slightly, noticing your curious gaze.
“What’s the matter, lamb?” They asked, their prying gaze forcing the words from your mouth before you could stop them. 
“You’re beautiful…” You whispered, immediately clasping a hand over your mouth and nearly toppling from the abrupt change in your center of gravity. 
The Lightbringer’s hold on your face kept you still, though. Their laughter twinkled throughout the chapel-like halls of the underworld. With a gentle trace along your jaw, the fallen angel stood once more and looked about the halls. 
“Flattery will get you everywhere, starlight.” They crooned, gesturing for you to stand soon after. You obeyed almost immediately, getting onto your knees, before wobbling onto your feet.
Looking to the left, Lucifer waved their hand, and a previously concealed corridor seemed to appear in the very marble of the walls. The doors silently opened, allowing the two of you to enter their personal chambers. 
“I will speak with the others as to why you’re here. While you are here, though, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt for you to enjoy the niceties of my homestay. Come, bathe the soot and blood off of your body. If you are to be presentable for me, I want the best.” Others? Homestay? Soot and blood? Your head was swimming with questions, but the one of your current state was quickly answered when you turned to see your reflection. The person staring back at you pale as a ghost, covered in crusted over blood and soot. It looked like you had just gotten crushed by a truck and shoved through an unclean chimney. 
Your lips parted in shock, seeing blood drip from the cracked and crusty skin of your lips…and that's when you realized just how pain filled your entire body seemed to be. Moving hurt, breathing hurt, your eyes burned and your lips felt like they were run against sandpaper.
Lucifer paused, looking at you through their own reflection. “You’re in quite the dreadful state…your body is essentially reflecting a small portion of just how damaged your corpse is right now.” The fallen angel’s moved about lazily as they spoke. 
“In fact, your remains are getting scooped off the street as we speak, put into a little black bag for cremation. I take it you have no family or friends to give you a service, hm…? How sad.” They tutted, clicking their tongue before continuing down the hall. 
As you stood dumbfounded by the state of your ‘body’, if that was even what it was, the ruler’s wings flapped once more, causing the hair on your head that wasn’t matted down by your coagulated blood to flutter against your face. 
“The baths are by the balcony on your left, just call for me when you’re ready.” 
Bewildered and overwhelmed, you watched the towering figure of your new host slowly fade away into nothingness. 
Were you really going to stay in Satan’s house? It seemed so.
A/N: HEHEHEH errrr yea :3
tags: @justcallmelittleone
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unhonestlymirror · 20 hours
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Vatņiki of the week
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1. Nothing else to expect from a guy called "kalashnikovlobotomy". 🤣 Ukraine never was russia's sister, and thankfully, never will. Drawing this while russia rapes and murders little girls and boys in Ukraine?? Tankies, tankies everywhere, Woody. Also, lmao, implying that crying is shameful for men because that's a "feminine" trait? Op, what country are you from?
2. "Scared of russia"? Op should make an experiment: go to Latvia and show this art to Latvians. Try to guess how much time it will take to be absolutely beaten by Latvians and then deported to Belarus? Also, wrong flag, this is not the Latvijas Sarkanais, this is freaking Austria.
3. "rusliet"? In 2024?🤪🤪🤪 About 1800s: Catherine the Second was an extremely antisemitic lady... and also, a German. :D Who not only started the politics of total russification of Lithuania, Belarus and Ukraine but also deported Jews from villages to cities, forced them to take russian-like surnames, obliged them to live exclusively in cities exclusively on the territory of the former Grand Duchy of Lithuania... and was also responsible for pogroms organisations IN THE CITIES, like in Odesa in 1821, 1849, 1859, etc, etc. Lithuania wasn't an exception. The incidence of pogroms in former GDL has increased 100 times under russian empire. Catherine II imposed all sorts of bans and restrictions on trade on Jews. Such politics made the living for Jews on Jewish land practically impossible, thus making them move to russia when the "Sedentary band" was cancelled. In russia, however, life wasn't good either, so many Litvaki fled to Palestine or America or France, etc. Catherine ll wrote: "In Belorussia, everything is teeming with Jews." Catherine ll also claimed the very same Odesa in which she actively financed antisemitism to be built by Catherine ll the Great. Although Odesa was built under Vytautas rule.
This is how Lithuania and Belarus, Jewish countries with Hebrew and Yiddish as national languages, ended up being "russian/post-russian/soviet".
In dark green, there is the territory of the "Sedentary band" imposed by Catherine ll on Jews.
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Both for the artist and the op who commissioned: the first best time to stop being antisemitic rashists was when you made your first posts on Tumblr. The second best time is now.
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apotelesmaa · 5 months
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I think nene is stronger than any US marine for not only tolerating the antics of tsukasa/rui/emu but actively choosing to be friends with them. Can u imagine being shy and having social anxiety and the people around you are 1) a guy who is so incredibly loud and *wants* everyone to pay attention to him 2) the human embodiment of whimsy and joy. Rhythm game equivalent of pinkie pie. 3) a guy who not only encourages the other two but also routinely sets off (minor) explosions in public. & those three do not know the meaning of the words embarrassment or shame.
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dandyshucks · 3 months
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i get slightly annoyed when people make community posts that tell ppl to stop doing xyz and use the phrases "they're a FICTIONAL character, theyre NOT REAL" to justify whatever theyre saying because:
1) everyone knows that already, we're all aware these are blorbos from our media;
2) if someone is genuinely struggling to grasp that because of a delusion or similar, a forceful reality check is only going to cause harm rather than help;
3) it just feels so needlessly patronizing;
4) most of the time whatever I see people complaining about is either smth that I never see anyone doing or if it is smth somebody is doing then the block button is a very quick and effective fix for the issue (or even a quick convo w the person in DMs can resolve issues!)
(granted I keep my following circle very small and probably miss a lot but if i can do that then perhaps... perhaps other people can do it too fhfkdl like just prune back whatever u dont like seeing! unfollow or block as needed!)
#speaking as someone who has experienced and occasionally still experiences delusions!!!#reality checks do not help unless we ask for them directly! it's only going to make things worse if u force one on us!#also yes im aware of the hypocrisy of me making a post complaining abt things#but its often just this one phrase that i will see in otherwise decent posts that go around#and im not about to unfollow ppl just bc of this one phrase being used in a post or two that they might've rbed fhfjdl#also this is a niche thing to know about i think? like i dont think most ppl know a lot about delusions#.... as evidenced by ppl using delulu as a quirky meme word. god that one makes me tired and frustrated fjfkdl#but yeah normally i keep complaints and annoyances to myself but this one i figured might actually be helpful to talk about here#since i know theres probably a lot of ppl who have no idea that this is a thing that can actually make things worse rather than better#and like. theres bigger fish to fry i know that! this is a relatively small thing all things considered#but i feel like perhaps if i can make life a little easier for one other person who struggles w mental health then its worth it#if i can convince one person to be more mindful of their language to make the world slightly safer for fellow mentally ill folks then yay!#and i know the internet doesnt need to cater to us crazies but fhdkdl it'd be cool if ppl could just be a tad kinder or more thoughtful#again! not shaming or blaming and I'm not even upset w anyone#ppl genuinely just do not know abt this stuff unless a loved one or they themselves struggle w delusions or psychosis etc#and even then oftentimes its such a stigmatized topic that even ppl who struggle w it themselves might not know or realize it#anyways. climbing down off my soapbox like a kitten clumsily climbing off of a tall couch SBDJSKL#dandy.cmd
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genderqueerdykes · 11 days
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there really is a cultural pressure for transmascs & men to detransition, and it comes from all sides. it comes from the queer community too, not just terfs and cishet transphobes.
it took me a while to realize why transphobic people and transandrophobic queers utterly despise trans guys & mascs who are over the age of like 25- it's because it pisses them right off that we've resisted their attempts to make us detransition. it makes them so angry to see they were unable to groom that person into a life of self-shame and repression. it really seems like MOST people believe that trans men will just detransition eventually in life? people NEVER think about older trans men, only teenage trans boys and trans men in their very early twenties.
when i was involved with my local punk scene i was addressed with condescension, almost everyone around me didn't accept transmasculinity as a legitimate identity and thought that we would've transitioned by now in life. i encountered folks who would talk about transmasculinity with subtle disgust that made me feel like i was doing something wrong, and people who expressed overt disgust, saying in plain english that they were disgusted by breasts and vaginas because they were gay men. all along the way i was literally mocked for not having a penis, and one of my roommates started treating me differently once they found out i didn't have one (because they were attracted to me)
i've been on T for 9 years, and been out as a trans man for a bit longer than that, and i noticed as i've aged i've also attracted a lot of folks who have tried to deter me from identifying as a trans man, either through directly telling me that trans men are inherently dangerous, or by implying that women or another gender are safer, quieter, calmer, "less traumatizing to be around," etc. one of my exes told me they were terrified to date me (despite literally going out of their way to do so for over half a year) because they were scared i would be transphobic to them because i'm a transmasculine lesbian.
i received pressure from online friends to either detransition and become an intersex butch woman, or to something feminine adjacent or nonbinary. for years i dealt with a few friends who kept subtly hinting that i should stop identifying as a trans man or trans masc because of how awful transmascs are- going as far as to sending me screenshots of transmascs speaking, complaining about them and calling them whiny, annoying. talking about how all transmascs are entitled, how all transmascs take things too personally, how we complain too much, and so on.
people make no effort to make space for transmascs and men. i met 0 transmascs in my local punk community that i was able to stay in contact with. none. i met a few in passing but none that actually were introduced to me in a capacity where i could actually try to befriend them. it really felt like other punks in the scene were desperately trying to keep the transmascs apart at times. excuses were made as to why i couldn't hang out with other transmascs i liked, but i was constantly being forced to befriend transphobic cis gay men and transandrophobic transfemmes who outwardly expressed hatred and disgust of us. it really felt like it was on purpose... almost as if other members of this community wanted our attention, but never wanted us to give each other attention or a sense of community. like we were objects, not people to be included in the community for real. satellite friends, if you will.
i'll be honest with you. i was at my lowest at this point. i realized i wasn't just a trans man and that i'm a genderqueer person who experiences multiple genders, including womanhood and an "other" gender, which was great. however now i was being forced to completely stuff down being a man for the sake of other people. instead of folks telling me they'd rather not hang out with transmascs, folks rather just attempted to guilt me for identifying as such in the hopes i'd stop identifying that way. i was being told daily that trans men and mascs are inherently violent and terrible to be around. i was in discord servers where transmascs were being kicked constantly for getting even slightly upset about transandrophobia, or being unfairly targeted by staff.
it's violence, but nobody wants to call it that. i pulled myself out of there and am now able to contact other transmascs and trans men who are proud of who they are and have elevated me back into a headspace where it's okay to truly be myself. just keep in mind that if you feel like you're in that situation, you're not alone. people who attempt to groom others are often very subtle it's not always up front. they will start slipping in hateful sentiments very slowly and make you feel like maybe they're the ones who are actually right.
it feels good to be an almost 32 year old trans guy. there's nothing to be ashamed about there. people project their feelings on to my gender and that has nothing to do with me. it has nothing to do with you, either. people will just project on to you for whatever reason- hatred is usually the motivator there. if you encounter folks who keep trying to badger you out of identifying as your gender, no matter who you are, transmasc, transfemme, transneutral, trans anything- they are not good for you. they are not your friends. they do not accept you as you are and you deserve so much better.
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fairuzfan · 24 days
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"In any conversation with recently released prisoners from the West Bank, the conversation inevitably drifts to the horrific conditions that Israel has imposed on Palestinian prisoners. The deprivation of food and medicine, the routine beatings, the isolation of individual prisoners, the overcrowded cells, and the severed lines of communication with the outside world—all unfold in their stories. The rhythm of the conversations are fast, a need to speak and utter the drastic conditions, to make sense of the non-sensible and the horrific.
However, a heavy silence descends as some begin to speak of the sounds of their fellow prisoners from Gaza. The prison not only segregates by bars and walls but also divides by geography, by unseen yet palpably strict borders within its confines (Gazan there, West Bankers here). Those from Gaza are forced into degradation, made to bark, their screams of pain from being shackled and beaten piercing the thick air, compelled to sing Israel's national anthem, to shout "Am Yisrael Hai" in a mockery of their agony and identity. Sound becomes the solitary channel through which prisoners from diverse geographies perceive each other's existence, not through words exchanged after years of enforced separation between Gaza and the West Bank, but through the harrowing echoes of torture's heavy breaths.
The released prisoners from the West Bank descend into silence—a wounded, weighty, and shamed silence, burdened by the knowledge that their suffering, though severe, paled in comparison to that of their fellow prisoners from Gaza, leaving them traumatized by both their own experiences and the agony they could only hear. A trauma that is not traumatic enough.
We can scarcely fathom what Dr. Adnan Al-Bursh, a healer, a devoted doctor and surgeon—a man who steadfastly refused to abandon his patients—endured until his body could withstand no more. Alongside his fellow doctors in Gaza, he epitomized a profound dedication to his role and to his society, embodying the very essence of commitment in the face of unimaginable adversity, a doctor that we will remember through one sound only, the sound of his joy of saving another soul."
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ironambivalence · 4 months
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The first thing you feel is the sharp pinch of the needle in your arm. Warmth flooding your body, your face flushed and lips tingling. The sensation spreading to your core and between your legs. Suddenly you feel warm and wet. Your cunt swelling slightly, lips parting... You try to touch yourself, pulling against something, and then…
Your eyes snap open and the bright light temporarily blinds you. Thick leather straps hold you down against the examination table, spread-eagled. Fear and adrenaline prick your skin, your drug-induced warmth now slick with a sheen of cold sweat. The shame of your dripping cunt hits you hard, and you try to tell yourself that it’s not your fault, it’s the drugs. It has to be the drugs…
Your mouth is held wide with a dental gag, jaw already beginning to ache. Your head is kept still with a thick leather strap across your forehead even as you see me cross your field of vision, my face behind a surgical mask, your eyes wide. “Today, I have an experiment…”
Another pinch, and a strong sedative makes your limbs go limp, too weak and heavy to move much, your mind perfectly alert. You feel my fingers spread your labia, pull back your clitoral hood, and the sharp excruciating pain of a needle in your clit, then your labia, the drug making them swell. Your tits are injected next, making them full and heavy as the syringe is emptied. The warmth spreads, combining with the pain, your cunt locked in a deep ache and drooling immediately. You are helpless, swollen, sensitive, and completely overstimulated. A vibrator is pushed against your cunt, shockwaves of sensation flooding your body as you try not to moan. My gloved hand encircles your throat, choking you. My fingers probe your gag reflex, making you drool all over yourself as you begin to see stars. You pass out a few times, slapped awake after each one, oxygen flooding your body and setting every nerve on fire. Each orgasm wrecking your body more than the last, the time between them growing shorter until they are just seconds apart. Forced to cum against your will so much it hurts. A gagging drooling mess. A ruined, helpless thing. Your cunt is swollen and unrecognizable, dripping down the table and onto the floor.
The vibrator is suddenly switched off. I slap your cunt hard and laugh as you scream, convulsing as shockwaves of pain cascade through your core. You groan as the thick electric plug is slid deep inside your anus, stretching you wide as tears spring to your eyes. The electricity makes you whimper, not just from pain, but from forcing your pelvic floor muscles to contract in time to the current. I press the head of my swollen cock against your dripping labia, and sink deep inside your helpless ruined hole. Choking you, slapping you, and spitting on you as I rape you, your restrained body swaying with each deep thrust, vulnerable and spread wide. Gagging you as you make disgusting noises, your face and tits covered in drool. Torturing your grossly swollen nipples, bruising them almost instantly with my fingers as I pinch, pull, and twist them savagely, tearing harsh, violent screams from your throat as the pain sears through your body. Your spasming cunt milks my cock inside you as I rape you. Your own body forced to betray you. Even the autonomy of your own muscles raped away as I force them to pleasure my cock. To splatter your cervix with my cum. And worse, to make you cum as well.
It hurts too much to orgasm now. You’ve been holding it off so long, trying to avoid the sensations from last time. It makes your muscles clench out of sync with the current, doubling up and eventually forcing that wave to crest, your eyes rolling back, legs shaking as you let out a horrible shriek of despair... Then it tears through you, every muscle taut and shaking. Mind going blank, unable to register anything but a horrible emptiness in the pit of your stomach, all stimulation gone. Just an object. A toy. A ruined thing.
When your eyes open, you become dimly aware of my voice. Your cunt is held open with a speculum, my cum still dripping out as you are examined in detail. Your most private, intimate parts helpless, vulnerable, and exposed. Nothing private, nothing secret.
“Indeed. The subject has become deeply suggestible. The formula was substituted for saline with no decline in response...” Saline!? No! It has to be the drugs. It was the drugs! Your mind is breaking as the mirror above you reveals the truth: Your tits and cunt are grossly swollen in the humiliating caricature of a fuckdoll, not injected with some new pharmaceutical, but simple saline solution…
“...more experiments are needed to determine the efficacy of any new formula.” In your turmoil, you suddenly notice the red light of a webcam, stomach churning... How many saw? How many people saw what I did to you?
“We will keep the experiment and continue to perform tests...” And as my first words drift back to you, it suddenly becomes clear: YOU are The Experiment.
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cupid-styles · 5 months
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late night talking
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in which harry’s quiet, shy, and always sends y/n tips during her cam streams. or: nerdrry x cam girl y/n
word count: 5.9k (wanted to get this out before christmas so it’s a bit on the shorter side than my other longer fics!!)
content warnings: sexual content (y/n is a cam girl soooooo voyeurism/exhibitionism is implied), smut (mutual masturbation, dirty talk/sexting, daddy kink, slight dom/sub dynamics)
please lmk if you’d want a part two for these cuties !
part two here
. . .
On a day-to-day, this is how Y/N typically spends her time:
She wakes up and throws herself in the shower with her eyes half shut. She eats some type of sustenance for breakfast, whether it be a granola bar or a warranted effort at some overnight chia seed concoction, and then heads to her main job, where her boss, Sam, has half her experience and somehow gets paid double her salary.
She does whatever's asked of her all day because she went to school for graphic design and she quite likes it, but only when Sam isn't up her ass, asking her to do tasks he's too lazy to do. At 5 pm on the dot, Sam is usually trying to get her to stay late but she's already on her way out the door. When she gets home, she forces down another quick meal — sometimes it's one of those frozen, premade things, other times she has the energy to make a veggie pasta or stir fry — pulls on a lingerie set, and sits on her cam site, where she strips and touches herself for money from strangers. 
Her cam streams are her favorite part of her day.
She guesses she's some type of exhibitionist if she enjoys getting off in front of people she doesn't know, but it's a win-win considering they're voyeurs, too. Plus, when you put monetary tips on top of it — well, Y/N can't really complain. 
She hides her face because her worst nightmare is her family finding out (that just sounds like a nightmare of a conversation to have with her parents), but she does have a few regular customers that come to most, if not all of her streams, are consistent tippers, and are always sweet to her. They ask about how she's doing and are polite in their requests, typically following them up with some sort of financial compensation so she has a reason to go through with it. It's not a bad deal at all — she enjoys her little community and the whole double life thing isn't the worst thing in the world. 
Y/N's been doing this for about a year, so she's gotten pretty familiar with the types of customers that come through her stream, but there's one in particular — fleetwoodlondon — that somehow still has her stumped. 
The thing is, this fleetwoodlondon person is far too nice. That's what confuses her the most. He (and she assumes it's a guy, because she doubts any woman would do this type of thing, but maybe she's just stereotyping) sends her tips for nothing in exchange, always tacking a bit more on when she's mentioned that she's had a rough day or she hasn't had a chance to eat dinner yet. She's messaged him privately, too, thanking him for his generosity and asking if he wants anything special in return, but he always says the same thing: No, that's alright. Thank you for the offer. Have a good night. x
There's a part of her that feels like it's bazaar, but there's a larger portion that's fascinated by him. She wants to know why he does what he does, why he feels that she's special enough to even do this in the first place. 
It's a shame he's rarely willing to exchange more than 10 words with her. 
. . .
Harry's days usually go like this:
Wake up, do some yoga or meditation, and log onto work. He works from home as a computer engineer for some large company that, if he's being honest, he doesn't really know a ton about, but they pay him extremely well and let him stay home all day, so it evens out. He's a diligent, hard worker on a small team of other shy, quiet people, so meetings are few and far between. On the occasion where he does have to present something a larger group, he'll stumble and stutter his way through a PowerPoint slideshow and take a puff of his asthma inhaler the second he's done. 
When work is over, he hangs out with his cat, Beatrice, cooks them a yummy, healthy dinner, and watches TV with her. At the top of the 7 pm hour, he shuffles Beatrice off to his bedroom because he doesn't want her to see how her dad spends his free time: Watching a girl he doesn't know on a dodgy cam site, getting his rocks off, and sending her a large tip at the end of the night. 
The first time he stumbled across her stream, he felt weird about it. It was semi-dystopian to watch someone in this way, knowing she was doing it live somewhere in the world. But she seemed to enjoy it and she had a decent crowd of subscribers and tippers in the chat, so it made him feel better when he eventually gave into his own temptation, dipping his fingers beneath the waistband of his sweats and fisting his cock the way she'd been encouraging her viewers to do. And the thing is, he never planned to attend another show — he assumed he'd just go on his merry way and that was the end of it.
But he couldn't stop thinking about her.
The softness of her skin, the lacy set that covered her most intimate parts, the giggles and teasing comments that fell from her plushy lips. He couldn't see any other parts of her face, but she had a pretty voice, and he just knew she was the most beautiful girl he'd ever see. 
And, in complete honesty, he really loved when she shared small details about her life. It wasn't in a creepy way — he saw the way commenters replied in her chat and it made his stomach turn — but it was just... nice to get a peek into her life outside of this site, where Harry had to click out of porn pop-ups and erectile dysfunction ads every 5 minutes. 
Hearing that she saw a cute dog on her way home from work or she got a free cookie with her lunch today was what reminded him that she was just another human, doing her best, the same way he was. And maybe it was true that he could never get her to pay attention to him in real life, but at least on this platform, he stood a chance. 
Harry had more money than he knew what to do with. He lived a comfortable life, he didn't have a partner or kids, and his savings account was plentiful. If he sent moan-a-lisa (the first time he read her username, he did smirk at the playful pun) a decent tip at the end of the night, he wouldn't feel bad about it. His money could be going to worse places.
It was only when she started to message him privately that he started to panic. 
About once a week, she would thank him profusely and ask if he wanted something in return — a custom video, pictures, even a phone call. But when he thought about it, he was just too anxious and scared — he felt like maybe he portrayed a slightly cool persona online, but if that wall got broken down, she'd see that he was lame. A computer nerd that stayed home all day and spent his money on a girl he'd never know in real life.
At least at a distance, she might at least think he's nice.
. . .
"Alright cuties, thank you so much for joining me tonight!"
Y/N watches as the chat floods with a variety of responses to her ending the stream: Some were kind (thank you for spending ur time w us!!!! have a good night!), others were sad and slightly parasocial (nooooo :( I'll miss u so much baby don't go), while the slight minority were just plain mean (stupid bitch u didn't even do anal 2nite). 
"I'll be back tomorrow at the same time, 7 pm eastern standard," she says with a toothy grin. She waves them a goodbye, clicks the "end live" button, and lets out a sigh of relief when her camera finally shuts off. Her show ended up being nearly four hours long tonight and she could feel a warm bubble bath calling her name. 
As she begins her post-streaming routine of grabbing a snack, starting her bath, and peeling the lingerie set off her body, she hears her phone go off. Almost like clockwork. 
She grabs it and glances down at the notification. Unsurprised, her eyes scan over the message: fleetwoodlondon sent you $300!
Rolling her lips into her mouth, she clicks on it and opens the app. Immediately, she thumbs over to their private conversation, where she types out a message. 
moan-a-lisa: please tell me you've reconsidered and are willing to let me doing something in return for all these tips.
As she's tossing her peach-toned lace set in the hamper, her phone dings again. She already knows his response before she even reads it. 
fleetwoodlondon: Nope. Have a good night. x
She smiles playfully at his reply and shakes her head, eyes still glued to her screen as she walks to her bathroom. She shuts the door, lights her favorite candle, and climbs into the porcelain tub, breathing out a deep sigh as the warm water and bubbles begin to soak her sore joints and muscles. 
moan-a-lisa: please???? im in the bath rn and could give u a fun little peek:)
With the exception of customers that pay for phone sex or custom videos, Y/N never produces off-the-cuff content. But the mysterious air of this fleetwoodlondon user is enough to make her break some of her own rules. 
She's surprised when she receives a near-immediate reply — she'd mentally prepared herself to wait 10 or so minutes before he typed back, like he usually does.
fleetwoodlondon: Cute. 
fleetwoodlondon: I just don't want you to feel pressured to send me anything. I don't tip you for that reason. 
With a confused expression, she sits up to shut the water off. She nibbles on her bottom lip as she lowers back into the water, contemplating the weight of his words. In the end, she decides to  go with her gut.
moan-a-lisa: why do you tip me then?
She's not entirely shocked when she doesn't receive an instant response to her question. She sighs, dipping her head back into the warm water. It's annoying, the way this person she doesn't even know is sticking around in her brain. She's not big on dating or seeing people romantically, so it's pretty unusual for her to be so focused on someone. 
She tosses her phone onto the plushy bath mat on the floor and decides to enjoy the comfort of her bath instead of worrying over it. She takes care to wash her body and face, and when she gets out she puts her favorite skincare products on before brushing her hair out. When she finally looks at her phone an hour later, she sees a notification from the user himself. 
fleetwoodlondon: I just think you deserve it. 
fleetwoodlondon: But again, I never want you to feel pressured into sending me something just because of the money..
She shakes her head as she walks back to her bedroom. Pulling a pair of comfortable sweats on, she's still confused by the angle he's playing at. And while most guys would maybe weird her out, she wonders if she's being naive by feeling some sort of kinship with this person. 
As she's contemplating her response in the darkness of her bedroom, her phone buzzes again in her hand. 
fleetwoodlondon: I just like hearing about you. Knowing that there's just another regular human behind the screen, I guess. I promise I'm not trying to be weird because I know you probably get a ton of odd messages from people all day.. but I suppose maybe I'm just sort of lonely? And I enjoy the consistency of knowing I can watch your stream every night.
fleetwoodlondon: I'm so sorry if that crosses a line. Reading that back, it's probably creepy. 
She has to bite her lip to hold back the smile that curls onto her mouth from his words. It's not creepy, not coming from him, anyway. He seems... innocent, somehow, despite being a frequent viewer of her streams. And, in all honesty, she gets it — she's lonely, too. She doesn't have many people in her life besides her family and the people she works with. She understands why her viewers come to her daily streams because she shows up for the exact same reason.
moan-a-lisa: it's not weird. i get it
moan-a-lisa: but if you're not interested in receiving content from me in exchange for ur tips, can we do something else then?
fleetwoodlondon: What?
moan-a-lisa: tell me about your days too
fleetwoodlondon: Really?
moan-a-lisa: yeah. i think im lonely in the same way u are. it could be nice.
fleetwoodlondon: Okay. I can do that.
moan-a-lisa: good:)
. . .
Harry doesn't entirely realize what he's signed up for when she starts messaging him the next day. 
In theory, he assumed that maybe she was just saying that stuff to be nice. He knows she has a habit of trying to relate to her viewers and make them feel special. It was kind of her, but he chalks it up to that — that is, until he receives a private message from her at 11 a.m. the following morning. He's never spoken to her during the day, only during or after her streams in the evening. His eyes nearly bulge out of his skull when he reads her username on his phone — he's working on a big project with a few coworkers and they're on a meeting together (cameras off, of course), and he immediately chokes on his spit, excusing himself and turning his mic off. 
moan-a-lisa: how's ur day going so far?
He swallows nervously. What is he supposed to say? Isn't there some cardinal rule about not revealing private information to strangers on the internet? (Though he thinks maybe that went down the drain awhile ago, considering how they ended up in contact.) He nibbles on his bottom lip as he quickly types out a response, trying his best not to overthink it. She's just being nice, he reminds himself, she probably thinks you're some desperate loser who needs companionship. 
fleetwoodlondon: It's been alright, just working. Nothing too exciting. How about you?
He attempts to redirect his focus back to the coworker that's currently asking him a question about the project when his phone instantly lights back up. 
moan-a-lisa: boring:( im working too except i kind of hate my boss. he's a douche
moan-a-lisa: what do u do for work? 
"Harry?" 
He stutters, clicking the button to turn his mic back on, "Yeah, that sounds good, Mike," he rushes out nervously, "I trust you, you know what you're doing."
"Alright, we'll move forward with that, then."
"Great. I actually need to take a break for a bit, need to feed my cat," Harry says quickly. "Let's reconnect on this tomorrow."
His coworkers agree and the meeting ends, allowing him to focus all his brainpower on replying to her. Is it messed up that he ended a working session for this? Yes, potentially, and he feels guilty for it, too. 
fleetwoodlondon: I'm a computer engineer. And I'm sorry to hear that you hate your boss... do you have another job outside of streaming?
moan-a-lisa: yea I do graphic design during the day
moan-a-lisa: computer engineering??? so in other words ur smart as fuck and that's how u afford to pay me ridiculous tips so often?
He snorts to himself. He's always felt his job title sounds more impressive than it actually is. In reality, tech stuff is all he's ever been good at, so it was a natural move to major in computer science in school. He never thought he was particularly intelligent, even if his professors and peers insisted that he was. To this day, he feels like he's just a computer nerd that got lucky.
fleetwoodlondon: I mean, I wouldn't say I'm 'smart as fuck' but I do have more money than I know what to do with. So yeah, I guess that would explain the tips. 
moan-a-lisa: i feel like ur being wildly humble rn 
fleetwoodlondon: Definitely not. I just happened to find the niche I'm good at.
fleetwoodlondon: Do you like graphic design?
moan-a-lisa: yeah but i think i would like it way more if i could do freelance work or go to another company. like i said my boss sucks, he's kind of a misogynist and has way less experience than me.. not saying i should have his job BUT 
fleetwoodlondon: ...But you should have his job.
Harry's stomach tightens at the description of her boss. Thankfully, he's never been on the receiving end of such treatment, but he has friends that have — one of college peers was even told by a higher-up that she'd never get a managerial role at the company because of her sex. It makes him sick to think about, but especially when he imagines her being in that position. He doesn't know why he feels so protective over her (he knows she doesn't need that from a stranger online), but he does, and it's weird.
She doesn't reply after that and Harry forces himself to be okay with it. Now that he knows she has a day job, he reminds himself that she's busy and doesn't spend all of her time replying to private messages on her cam site. It's a bit of a struggle to focus on his job, but it's a welcomed distraction so he doesn't have to think about what she's doing or why she hasn't responded. 
He ends up working late to make up for the meeting he cut short and the time he took to reply to her messages. But when he peers over the screen of his laptop and sees the digital clock in his living room tick towards 7 pm, it's almost as if it's some sort of Pavlovian response, the way he grows antsy and begins to thicken up in his pants. He takes his time logging off from work and heats up a leftover stir fry from the night prior, swallowing hot mouthfuls so he's ready in time for her show. 
Just as he's done eating and he's bringing up a private tab on his phone, he gets a notification from their prior conversation. His stomach pings with anxiety, his eyebrows raising in surprise when he reads the words: will you be watching tn?
He thinks it's a stupid question — of course he'll be watching, but maybe she doesn't know she's part of his evening routine. He swallows, fingers trembling as he presses on the notification and quickly types back. Maybe he's over exhausted from staring at his computer screen all day, but the flirtatious response that comes from his end is even a surprise to him. Wouldn't miss it for the world, he sends back. 
She responds with a few angel emojis, his heart doing a flip as he reads the words she sent: good. i like knowing ur in the audience:) message me after and let me know what u thought. 
When her stream starts, he wants to bite his fist. She's wearing a beautiful navy blue set that serves as a gorgeous contrast to her smooth skin. The bralette and underwear are intricate with sweet lace detailings, providing peeks of her nipples and the small patch of pubic hair that decorates her mound. 
"Hi everyone," she greets with a grin. Despite the usual angle that only reveals a bit of her mouth and chin, he somehow feels like he knows more of her now. Selfishly, he realizes that he hopes she doesn't talk to other viewers the way they've chatted. "How are we doing tonight?"
There's a lull in conversation and he knows it's because she's reading through the immediate uptick of responses in the chat. He recognizes a few of the usernames who are also regular viewers, while others likely found her on the homepage. 
"I'm good, thanks for asking!" she replies, rolling her plush lips into her mouth, "I didn't have too bad of a day, actually. Had some nice entertainment to get me through work."
Harry's heart stalls slightly. She couldn't be talking about him, could she? It's probably wishful thinking, assuming that she would think that highly of their short conversation. 
"You guys are so nosy," she giggles, the sound of it making him smile, "Since when do you care so much about my personal life? Thought you just wanted to watch me cum."
As if that serves as some sort of reminder for her viewers, tips begin to flow in, along with demands in the chat. He watches her tug her bottom lip between her teeth as his eyes scan the messages too, stomach churning at what people ask of her. He wonders if it bothers her, but then again, he assumes she must have thick skin to do this. She doesn't need someone like Harry to defend her against horny strangers online.
"You're all silly," she murmurs as she rises onto her knees. Her thumbs find the thin fabric that hits at her hips, pulling the straps teasingly before letting them snap back against her skin. "Hold on, I have to do something."
For a moment, she cuts away from the screen, only leaving her legs in the view. Harry swallows as he lets himself examine her soft skin, fingers twitching at his sides as he imagines touching her — maybe even pressing kisses and dark marks into the surface of her thighs, too. 
His eyes flicker up to a notification at the top of his screen and it reminds him to turn his phone on do not disturb. However, instead of finding an email from work or a text from a friend, it's her. She's messaging him while she streams, knowing he's watching. His stomach tightens almost instantly. 
moan-a-lisa: are u watching?
fleetwoodlondon: Of course I am.
He watches as her lips curl into a small smile now that her body is back in frame. Her phone is in one hand while her other brushes up over her torso and chest and back down to her legs. 
moan-a-lisa: what do you want me to do tonight?
He swallows harshly as she lowers her phone. She starts to reply to other messages in the chat, knowing it's important to engage with her viewers to keep them entertained. 
"You guys know what my hard limits are, stop asking me to do that stuff," she says playfully, wiggling her hips slightly, "I promise, no amount of money will make me want to fist myself."
He snorts at that, momentarily forgetting that she's waiting on a response from him. Honestly, he doesn't know what's appropriate to ask of her — the last thing he wants is to make her uncomfortable.
fleetwoodlondon: Do whatever you want. You should get to call the shots for once.
On screen, she hums, though it seems like it's mainly to herself. As she plucks at the straps of her bralette, slowly lowering them down her arms to reveal the valley of her breasts, her tongue peeks out to lick over her lips.
"I really just want someone to dominate me tonight," she says, her tone dropping seductively, "I wanna be told what to do and how to do it. My brain's so fuzzy from being so horny all day, I can barely make a decision for myself."
Harry swallows harshly at her words. The chat instantly goes wild as tips quickly flow in, volunteering to be the ones to do it. She smirks, winding her arm around to unclip her bra, letting it fall to the floor. 
"Sometimes I just think about you dominating me, you know that?" she murmurs, pursing her lips as her hands find her tits, gently squeezing at her nipples. "Today at work, it was all I could think about... made me so wet, I had a mess in my panties by the end of the day."
His eyes are bulging out of his head now — she couldn't possibly be talking directly to him, could she? It seemed silly and improbable, but also... they had spoken today while they both worked. 
"Maybe someone from London, y'know? I've always had a soft spot for guys with British accents."
He almost comes in his pants on the spot. 
At a surface level, Harry is kind and quiet. He's always been quite introverted, he prefers to be alone, and he thinks he could go days without seeing a single person, except for Beatrice. But somehow — and there's probably a psychological explanation for this, one that he's uninterested in finding out — he makes up for it in the bedroom. He doesn't know why, but when he's with someone intimately, he just becomes... dominant. He's aware that his tastes aren't vanilla, like many of his past sexual partners had assumed, as spanking, bondage, toys, edging, and overstimulation are all some of his favorite pastimes. And with the way she's teasing him right now, it's only pushing him further to the dominant threshold he typically keeps tucked away. 
Pulling their conversation back up, he doesn't think much or read his message over before sending it.
fleetwoodlondon: If you wanted me to tell you how to touch your pretty little pussy, all you had to do is ask.
He sees the smirk that curls at her lips through the screen and he swallows, wishing he could taste them. 
"Yeah? You wanna tell me what to do?" she asks breathily, wiggling a bit in her seat. His cock is already throbbing in his pants as he taps at the screen, eager to respond. 
fleetwoodlondon: Spread your legs. Tease yourself. 
It's not even 30 seconds before she's shifted onto her butt, knees to the sky as she opens her legs. Her underwear is still on, covering her modesty, but she uses gentle fingertips to trace over her mound and down to the crease of her thighs. He watches her shiver beneath her touch. 
fleetwoodlondon: Move those pretty panties to the side. Let me see how wet you are for me.
"Fuck, 'm so wet for you," she moans, echoing the words from his message. She does as he requests, plucking the damp fabric from her center to reveal her glistening lips. Harry wants to verbally moan at how gorgeous she looks. "Can I touch myself, daddy? Please? Want it so bad— wanna be your good girl."
fleetwoodlondon: You are being good.
fleetwoodlondon: You can touch yourself, but only with your fingers. 
She dives in almost instantly, fingertips ghosting over her clit as her head falls to the side, slightly overwhelmed by the pleasure after waiting all day. She trails them down to her hole, where she's leaking steadily, and smears her arousal up to her clit, giving it a soft smack. She whimpers from the quick sting. 
"Do you see how wet I get for you?" 
fleetwoodlondon: Open yourself up. Pretend it's my fingers instead of yours. 
She moans as she pushes a single finger inside, arching deeply from the sensation. With her bottom lip wedged between her teeth, she gasps as she nestles a second in.
"Not big enough," she whines, grinding her hips down against her fingers, "Can't— they're too small, daddy, need yours instead."
fleetwoodlondon: I'm sure you do, but I'm not there. So be good and keep fucking yourself open with your pathetic little fingers. I want to watch you cum and lick it all up.
Harry can barely take it, watching her take her fingers knuckle-deep as she falls apart on screen from things he commanded her to do. He can see her thighs beginning to tense, her jaw slack as whimpers fall from her lips, and he wants nothing more than to finish with her. Quickly, he frees his cock from his sweats. So much pre-cum is leaking from the tip that he's almost embarrassed by it — he doesn't need any extra lubrication, so he wraps his fist around the head, bringing the substance down to the base of his length. He groans lowly and sets his phone up on the coffee table, leaning it against a box of tissues so he can use his other hand to pull at his sorely full balls.
"Fuck, daddy, you're so filthy," she moans, fitting a third finger in. She gasps from the stretch and it makes his eyes roll back as he pumps himself, trying to match the beat of her own thrusts. "Are you— y'gonna cum with me? Please, I want it, wanna lick up every last bit of it—"
"Jesus fuck," he mutters to himself, pausing momentarily to squeeze his base. She normally makes him finish fast, but it's never been this quick before. He has to give himself a break before he bursts all over himself. 
"I'm gonna cum," she bleats, almost as if it's a promise, "Fuck, it's coming, I'm gonna cum for you, daddy— shit, it's all for you—"
He watches with wide eyes as her pussy pulses around the trio of fingers deep inside of her, a slew of curses falling from her lips as she falls apart. It's so beautiful, even if he's not privy to seeing her facial expressions. Her whines and whimpers are music to his ears, and finally getting to watch her reach her peak is all the permission he needs to reach his. 
When he does a few moments later, all he can imagine is her hand wrapped around his cock, fisting it quickly while she mouths at the tip to catch the warm spurts of cum. He feels himself, heavy and twitching and tensing beneath his grasp, involuntarily whispering out similar sentiments to hers: "it's all yours, fuck, it's yours, it's yours."
His eyes flicker open to see her sucking on her fingers, a smirk on her lips as she gags around them. Her mouth is drooly and messy with spit and Harry wants to fall over.
"Thank you, daddy," she breathes out, "And thank you for watching, cuties. I appreciate all the sweet tips. I'll be back tomorrow at the same time, 7 pm, eastern standard time."
In the blink of an eye, the screen is blank, she's gone, and Harry has cold cum resting on his stomach. 
. . .
If Y/N's being honest, she's not sure what got into her last night.
She can't stop thinking about him — fleetwoodlondon — and how he became the dominant of her dreams. They didn't exchange any messages after she ended the stream, and she wonders if that made things worse. But he's all she can think about at work today as she pretends to work on a project for a minor client that Sam passed off to her this morning.
With a nervous swallow, she pulls her phone from her pocket. She keeps hoping that he'll message her first, but she's not entirely surprised when the only notifications she has are from her work calendar. Sighing, she brings up their private conversation, biting her lip at the last dirty text he'd sent her. 
moan-a-lisa: hi
moan-a-lisa: how's ur day going?
In an attempt to distract herself while she awaits his response, she redirects her focus to the project she’s working on. She can’t help glancing over at her phone every five seconds, wondering if maybe she took things too far last night and he doesn’t want to talk to her anymore. By the time an hour goes by and her stomach is growling with hunger, her spirits are crushed as she leaves her desk to head downstairs to the cafe for lunch. 
She’s pouting over a panini and a blondie when her phone buzzes on the table. She thinks her mind is playing tricks on her when she sees his username, only to realize she actually had an unread message from him. 
fleetwoodlondon: Boring, I’ve just been working all day. Was just thinking about you actually. 
With raised eyebrows, Y/N’s curiosity is peaked. She assumes he’s referring to her the stream — to be fair, it had been incredibly hot for her, too, so she fully understands if that’s all he associates her with. (Even if she has to force herself to suppress any disappointment seeping from within.)
moan-a-lisa: yeah? what were u thinking about? 
fleetwoodlondon: I picked up a book about graphic design and iconic advertising. It’s really interesting and I was thinking you might enjoy it. 
fleetwoodlondon: Sorry. That’s probably the dorkiest message you’ve ever received on here. 
Y/N doesn’t think she’s grinned this wide in weeks. 
. . .
Y/N and Harry continue to text every day after that. 
It’s weird. She’s never had this close of a relationship with a viewer before, and Harry has never found himself caring about someone he barely knows like this before. They don’t even know each other’s names and yet, they’ve been talking for a month, revealing tidbits of their lives that their closest loved ones don’t even know. In a sense, the consistent presence of the other on the phone is the most comforting thing either one has ever experienced. 
Harry knows about her siblings, the time she broke her arm on a swing when she was five, and when she got so drunk in college she threw up in her friend’s lap. Y/N knows that he moved from London for graduate school, he has a cat named Beatrice that he adores (and feeds right before tuning into her stream every evening), and watches Titanic when he’s had a bad day. 
So, he doesn’t really get why he’s so nervous to talk to her on the phone tonight. 
It had started as a joke — they’d been messaging earlier today, making fun of the fact that they felt like teenagers the way they were glued to their phones to talk to each other. Y/N had brought up wanting to hear his voice so she could finally hear his accent. Harry noted that he didn’t even know her name. And so, they made plans to talk on the phone at 5:30 this evening. 
He’s so anxious he feels like he might puke. As he watches the time slowly tick by, he grips his phone in his hand, waiting for it to start buzzing with an incoming call. He wonders if she feels nervous, too, or if this is no big deal for her. He feels silly for wondering if his infatuation has developed into a full blown crush, but he doesn’t think he can help it. He really, truly thinks he’s fallen for her just based off of chatting with her every day. 
Beatrice feels the tension radiating off of Harry’s body so she wiggles herself into his lap, nuzzling her head against his thigh. He welcomes her comfort, giving her gentle pets at the clock finally ticks to 5:30. His phone begins to vibrate promptly. 
He takes a long, deep breath. 
And then he clicks ‘answer.’
And he hears the most beautiful voice he’s ever heard before. 
part two
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whatbigotspost · 1 year
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Every time I hear someone much older than me talking about how their shame about their bodies and weight have robbed them of all kinds of fun experiences and simple joys and delights in life, it breaks my fucking heart. Older women, in particular, have been shamed into and forced into (and perpetuated themselves) so many stupid narratives about what one "can't do" if you look a certain way. Sometimes they don't even notice it...they'll just casually be saying something like, "I would have loved to play volleyball back in school but this big ass wasn't going to look right in those shorts tee hee" and I'm like that's??? actually??? tragic???????? Especially when it's something they COULD still pursue or try but they've got a fixed mindset about it.
My 84 year old aunt really spent all of her 30s-60s believing that she COULDN'T just put on a swimsuit and enjoy the water in the summer. I have so many memories of this mindset affecting her all summer. Just casually existing by a pool in a swimsuit was something that women who looked like her Could Not Do. This is someone who broke so many gender barriers in her field, who was a pioneer and a bad ass, but who held herself back from something she truly enjoyed for DECADES because she's fat. A couple of years ago she told me how stupid she feels having thought like that now that her age has changed her mobility and safety in going to a pool and it's no longer literally possible for her to do so.
She bought the bullshit and deprived herself of happiness when it was possible, so she lost her chance at hundreds of moments of simple enjoyment she now looks back on sadly.
Really sadly.
I think this is a topic where we can literally see a huge generational change among society right now. The bitchy boomer who says something like, "oh she should NOT be wearing that" when a happy, chunky Gen Zer bops by in a crop top sounds like the death rattles of an ancient relic to most of us in younger generations. After we get over the overt hate that surges when we hear things like that, most of us can see right through that prickly exterior into the deeply damaged, sad, and vulnerable person inside who is the one that's the real problem in the equation.
And yet, while it can be easy to think, "Thank god I'm not like THAT" none of us are truly immune to the messages that are blasted in our faces all the time that still shame fatness and make us feel like we owe society a certain kind of "beauty."
Just keep an eye out for any limiting beliefs you have that are depriving you from joy and delight you want and need. As anyone like my aunt could tell you, you won't someday look back and think, "I sure am glad I didn't do what made me happy all those years!"
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beiasluv · 8 months
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forbidden fruit | Charles Leclerc
a/n: new to the f1 communityy 😬 apologies for any term or idea i got wrong. female!reader. no proofread! enjoyy 🤍
summary: the princess of mercedes and the prince of ferrari, what could possibly go wrong?
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
“y/n! y/n! she’s in her last turn! leclerc’s trailing behind! can he do an over take?”
splashing champagnes and listening to the dutch national anthem were never your favorite of winning a podium, but who cares?
you were on P3 and charles leclerc was not.
perhaps retelling the story of your rivalry with the monégasque driver would take a whole frustrating, aggravating, and lengthy year for us to get through; and perhaps it was for the best to leave it where it is, never to be touched, but to reminisce with a needle of cringeness poking through your heart.
although an honorable mention to verstappen, for taking the lead role of leclerc’s personal favorite rival.
it was all an inchident, of course.
smirking back to the driver in a flashing, scuderia ferrari, red fire suit, you could only feel your ego bubbling to the top of your throat. charles leclerc was staring. and staring hard. what a shame you couldn’t even take out your phone and take a snippet of his raging glance. what a fun sight for the whole news headlines to see.
‘charles leclerc, envy and jealousy…’
of course, he couldn’t lash it out. how could he? would the handsome, young, and talented ferrari driver want to ruin his reputation in the media? obviously, not.
of course, you knew it all too well. every day you wake up with the tip of a knife, aiming at your throat, ready to nick you anytime you take a wrong step on the luxurious path of an f1 driver. being the only female driver on the grid makes your life a thousand times more challenging.
but who were you to be a nitpick?
the media loves drama. we all do. perhaps it was a little bit more entertaining to see what you are wearing when the races had gone wrong. what hairstyle were you wearing for the big race? or, maybe, just which driver you were dating on the grid this season?
never once you could escape the dating questions or all the bullshit misogynistic attitudes from the journalists, press, media, and, well, …you name it.
perhaps you have to give it to leclerc for never going easy on you just because you are of a different gender.
“congratulations on P3, y/n,” max turned towards you and gave you a pat on the shoulder; simultaneously, bringing you back to reality.
“t- thanks.”
“you win this one, l/n.”
he took off his helmet, and clutched it loosely to his side. the cheeky smirk plastered on his face. the eyes searched for the depth of yours.
only you knew how much pain it was for him to force his lips to create such a soft and fake smile for the thousand camera lenses, waiting to catch the two rivals lacking. bumping into leclerc after the race, fresh and full of adrenaline, alone in the hallway of the track was never an enjoyable experience to endure.
“good race, leclerc,” you muttered out as many PR and drivers walked past you two.
“same to you.”
what a shame your PR manager ushered you out for the media room before you two could give a shot of throwing hands - elegantly, of course.
“good work on the qualifying round, l/n. return to the garage. over.”
“copy that,” you tapped your headset, notifying the engineer of the prestigious mercedes team.
driving for mercedes in f1 could count as your biggest dream since the karting days. and the race won against ferrari was a - personal - success.
slowing your baby down, and pressing the brake mechanism of the car, you came to a halt as the friction overpowered the tires. one or two seconds later, you could hear the mercedes team rushing and scurrying over to your parked position to collect you back to the mothership.
“take her back, guys!”
the screaming of your fans nearby erupted as you ascended out from the cramped space of your f1 seat. taking your helmet off, and waving to them; you gracefully jumped down from the car and headed towards the mercedes headquarters.
a long walk, but who are you to make a fuss?
an f1 driver should have no problem walking a couple of miles. oh but how annoyingly a group of fans quickly crowded over you and blocked your ways…red flags, horses, and charles leclerc faces. clearly, you knew whose fans they were.
fussing, grabbing, and pulling, you were harassed, unfortunately. autographs, hats, pictures, postcards, and questionable stuff were pushed into your face.
“y/n! please! sign my shirt!” “get the hell away from charles!”
“charles deserved p3 today!” “l/n!! l/n! say hi to my dad! he loves you!”
trying to fulfill all of their requirements, you realized you had found yourself in the sea of scuderia ferrari fans. it is an unspoken fact that you were the rival of charles leclerc; you could say some fans were more enthralled by that fact than others.
“y/n! what do you think about charles? are you guys dating?”
sometimes you hate technology. the cameras pointing at you reminded me of the knife you carry mentally with you every day. it could gain you thousands of thousands of likes in a few tiktoks or perhaps get ready to say goodbye to your f1 position.
“…we’re not talking. in any complicate way,” smiling through the pain you signed the cap that was shoved into your face. gosh, mercedes. where was your security?
your patience could only last so much until one fan decided it was worth it to grab your hand and pull you down for an instagram-worthy photo. and he possibly thought the best way to execute it was to, firstly, seize your waist. how thoughtful of him.
“fuc- please don’t-”
“y/n! i love you!”
man-child was not having it. sweaty and clammy hands could send chills down your spine if you didn’t know.
“please-”
smile through the pain. smile through the pain. it was all part of the job, at the end of the day. the fans still won and you were just a doll for f1. breathe in, breathe out.
he pulled his iphone 7 out of his pocket, painfully slow; slower than the ferrari’s pitstops. his side was squished to yours. the cologne, the smell, the sensory, everything-
“hey, hands off.”
you could say it was the first time you were glad to see charles leclerc from your entire life; wearing his race suit sluttily around his waist. leclerc - being leclerc - stunned his fans, leaving a big hole in the crowd around you.
he was reaching out for your waist; surprisingly, in a way you were pleased, and pulled you out of the red crowd. and just like magic, the security came rushing in and ushered the mob of fans away from the scene.
wearing that stunned face of yours, you regained consciousness and your rival emotions. clearing your already cleared throat, charles took it as a signal to let go of your waist. how suddenly you realized it was all happening over the armor of your fire suit.
thank god.
“..thanks”
“no need to thank me,” the competitive tone made its way through his annoying lips again. scoffing, he looked at you with his hand clutching his helmet by his side, “i don’t understand why they need to adore you this much.”
how rude.
“for the record, they are your fans, leclerc,” you scoffed offendedly, and your hand found its natural place on your chest; clutching for dramatic effect.
“what did i do to deserve such loyal fans, l/n…” not even looking at you he smirked under his nose. “they shouldn’t be acting this way, no?”
he looked over at you, seeing you in your distressed state and a chuckle left his lips. the cameras settled on the stands far away in the distance and stared at you two, they were definitely on.
shit.
this is going to end up in the headlines.
“check out your new title…” your manager cleared his throat as you nervously waited.
“you can’t just leave me hanging here!”
placing your phone in your lap your hands returned to the comfort of the steering wheel. twisting and turning, you maneuvered your mercedes inside the driver's garage.
“calm the fuck down! i’m pulling out the source for accuracy,” you swore you could see your manager rolling his eyes. “wait for it…‘charles to the rescue. mercedes and ferrari, love or rivalry?’”
“shut up.”
“i can send you the links.”
“please don’t,” you sighed as you looked over your shoulder to slide into the parking lot like a distinguished f1 driver. “…the devil works hard, but the media works harder, or what?”
“we could use a little PR for mercedes, y’know?” the crackled chuckle left your phone.
please.
“the signal is shit in the parking lot, i’ll see you at the paddock. bye.”
“alright, be quick.”
gathering your bag and phone, you checked your face one last time in the rearview mirror and opened the car door. unfortunately, the infamous ferrari entered the parking lot with its signature roars, as you stepped out of your car.
the devil had worked hard once again. walking to your trunk, you kicked it open and snatched some of your essential stuff for the race. and who would’ve thought charles leclerc could park his car in under 20 seconds?
not to mention, it wasn’t straight. (oops)
getting out of his car, he checked his hair and fixed his shirt. obviously, aware of the paparazzi lurking around the track’s garage for the big day, and hoping to sell a couple of pics for something a little more than a couple of bucks. perhaps an even better price for them if they caught you and your rival having a ‘friendly’ chat.
don’t get close to him. don’t get close to him.
“what a coincidence,” leclerc approached your mercedes as he locked his ferrari with its infamous beeping.
“how so?”
smirking back at him, you slammed your trunk closed and shut off; locking your car in the same manner. catching the glimpse of his eyes you made it your personal goal to escape him as fast as you could possibly can.
flicking your head away and taking off, the path inside the track was as empty as you hoped it could be.
“slow down, i just wanna talk.”
“leclerc.”
“you walk too fast,” you swore if you looked back and he is grinning. “you trying to escape from me?”
fuck.
“got a problem with that, leclerc?”
his dark green eyes met yours after you decided the risk was below the ‘manageable’ level to turn around.
“no,” he grinned at you. how you wish you could smack it off of his face. “i jus’ want some company while walking to the track, no?”
company, my ass.
clearing his throat, he looked at you, “you’re a pretty good rival though.”
gaining a nod and a smirk from you leclerc was cut short of his run time as his PR manager came to collect him to the ferrari garage. how sad. his messy hair, the confidential wave, and two eyes met yours one last time before you decided to head to the mothership of your mercedes headquarters.
big trouble, y/n. big trouble.
“y/n, we neeed to talk.”
the paddock was usually quiet upstairs, all the mechanics and engineers spent their time in garage down below. only toto, george, lewis, your manager, and their managers, and - obviously - you would spend time up here. also. is every private manager in the world annoyingly scary and friendly at the same time or what?
sitting down next to you on the black sofa of the mercedes headquarters by the pitch, you were face-to-face with your lovely manager.
clearing your nonexistent anxiety, “…yes?”
“look…the media is starting to notice your relationship with charles…”
“and..?”
“and,” he crossed his arms, “we need to work on keeping this situation private…it could affect your reputation. maybe after the soft launch phase is over, you can publicize it…if you want to, obviously.”
the fuck?
“…what are your thoughts?”
he looked into your face, not a single thought behind it. somehow the racetrack outside the notoriously big, shiny window of the mercedes paddock suddenly gained your attention, and he restored to snapping his fingers in front of your face.
“what-? oh right- for fuck’s sake! we’re not in a relationship!”
“and what about those paparazzis’ pictures? I thought we agreed on sharing every ‘public’ detail about your life with me?”
“first of all, privacy. second of all. you believe that?! anthony! you’re my manager, i would’ve told you if i was dating a ferrari driver!” grabbing a quick breath,
“do you think i want to date the reddest of all flags on the grid?!”
“yeah? but that’s not the impression the media got,” he said. “even max! max verstappen thought-”
“who cares what max thinks!” you thrown your head back on the sofa.
“PR could be good, but we don’t know if it’s going to blacklash-”
george russell. he walked up to you two arguing on the black sofa and smirked at you; clearly, he heard your talks about ‘the reddest of all flags on the grid.’
“shut your mouth, russell,” sighing sarcastically as you could and you turned to your manager, who was having the time of his life.
“I’m not saying anything,” he raised his hands defensively, grinning the shit out of the corners of his mouth.
“I’m a driver, not a play doll you could match-make for the team’s reputation. hell. doesn’t charles have a girlfriend?”
anthony pulled out his phone and scrolled through ‘something,’ “yes…charles…has a girlfriend, PR relationship?”
“what do you mean?”
putting his phone away, “doesn’t matter. but what the media care about is to get a story out of nothing.”
“…and?”
“you have a reputation of being a private figure, and you're an expert in keeping it that way. we just need to do that until the end of the season.”
george chuckled sarcastically, "she seems angry at us, guys.”
“i am. and i’m not dating anyone for mercedes. done,” you stood up from the sofa and beelined towards the door. “also. i’m telling toto.”
and someone finally heard you this time. the whole room’s atmosphere seemed to tense up as someone entered the door.
toto wolff.
“is there a problem, y/n?” toto asked as george smirked at the unfolding situation.
you swung your head towards the origin of the sound and cleared your throat, “your employee, mr. wolff, is trying to matchmake me with a ferrari driver.”
toto chuckled.
toto chuckled?
“so there is something between you and charles?” he raised his eyebrow at you. expectedly, george was holding his laughter in for his dear life.
“why does everyone thinks that we’re dating?! even toto?!”
“so you’re not dating leclerc?”
“no!”
congratulations. you have successfully crashed onto the sofa once again, groaning your pain out.
“she’s lying,” george chimed in.
“I. am. not.”
how surprising that george’s back kissed the sofa as you tackled him jokingly down. a moment of silence for toto to watch many of his best drivers tackle each other like it’s a normal day in kindergarten.
“are you sure you are not dating, leclerc?”
last straw. you clutched your bag and left george dysfunctional on the couch. walking past the room, you glanced back one last time and said with the best sarcasm, “i’m not. and I’m not dating him for mercedes. done! I’m a driver, not a doll!”
slamming the door shut, you headed for your private driver’s room.
"she's angry at us…” george chuckles nervously; obviously, with a hint of joy.
“no shit sherlock”
edit: part 2
part 2?? reblog, like, whatever the heck you want would be appreciated 😘
today’s a great day to take care of yourself, lots of luv 🤍
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roosterforme · 3 months
Text
The Younger Kind Part 53 | Rooster x Reader
Summary: Bradley is surprised by what Maverick has to tell him, and he's not sure how to convey his mixed feelings to you. The urge to keep everything inside is strong, but you catch on right away and shut it down. In the end, he's not sure he has made the right decision.
Warnings: Swearing, angst, fluff, pregnancy topics, and age gap (18+)
Length: 4500 words
Pairing: Single dad!Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x babysitter!female reader
Check out my masterlist for more! The Younger Kind masterlist.
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There was something a bit ominous about the way Maverick said, "Rooster. We need to talk." 
Bradley followed him toward the tower immediately, getting more annoyed by the second. This was supposed to be an exciting day. You and Bradley had started telling people you were engaged. It was a shame that Casey was among the first to find out, but Bradley had expected Maverick of all people to remember his plans for the weekend. 
But Bradley didn't say a word until they were inside the tower in private. "She said yes, by the way," he told his godfather blandly. "I proposed after the air show."
Maverick grinned and pulled him in for a tight hug that Bradley barely returned. "That's wonderful. I was just about to ask, but I knew she would say yes." He slapped him on the back before releasing him. "So it's safe to tell Penny now?"
Bradley rolled his eyes and couldn't help but smile. "Yeah. It's safe. She can't ruin anything at this point."
Then Maverick's smile started to fade, and Bradley remembered exactly why he had followed him here to begin with. "We really do need to talk, Bradley, and I'm not sure you're going to want to hear this right now."
Bradley braced his hand on the wall next to him and asked, "Are you deploying me?"
"Not exactly," he replied as if he was trying to choose his words very carefully. 
But Bradley was so used to being spoiled right now, he didn't have the patience for this. He had you and Noah and now a baby and a wedding, too. "Just spit it out, Mav. Please."
He glanced around and cleared his throat, and Bradley's nerves just got worse when he finally spoke. "Your name came up behind closed doors. The admirals have you listed as a top selection for a training mission."
"What kind of training?" Bradley asked, wishing he would just get on with it.
Maverick's voice dropped lower as he said, "Sixth-generation fighters. Nothing that's available in the U.S. You'd be one of the first to fly them for tactical testing."
"You're joking," Bradley rasped, his body frozen as Maverick shook his head. 
"It's no joke. It's also optional. Not your traditional deployment. Nobody is going to force you to go this time. I can't supply you with many more details unless you give your verbal and written agreement to participate, but I can say that this would go a long way toward career advancement."
"Shit." 
You were pregnant. This was not the best time to leave for optional training. But six-generation technology was something he might never get to experience during his career unless he partook in this. It would be years, maybe even a decade, before Naval aviators were flying these jets off of carriers for real missions. He knew exactly what this meant. He could be among the very first to take them up in the air, and his flight details could help shape the way these jets were eventually distributed to the United States and used by the military. "Jesus, Mav."
He nodded in response. "I know the timing isn't ideal for you and your family, but it's something you should seriously consider. Go home and talk to your fiancée about it, and if you decide you want to be included in the meeting on Thursday, let me know."
"Right," Bradley muttered. "Am I dismissed?"
"Yeah. Head home. I'll see you tomorrow."
Bradley should have gone directly home and waited for you and Noah to arrive, but instead he took his time in the locker room. He tried to imagine what it would be like to leave you for a few weeks or months while you were pregnant, but it made him feel too uncomfortable. He could turn the opportunity down without even mentioning it to you. That actually sounded like a pretty good plan. 
While he showered and got changed, he felt guilty in a different way. He didn't want to hide this from you even though all he wanted to do was protect you. And part of him really wanted to fly these prototype jets. If he did, he could leave a lasting impression on the future of Naval aviation even after he was done spending time in the cockpit.
"Fuck," he muttered as he packed all of his things up for the day and headed outside to his Bronco. It was actually pretty late now, and there was no doubt you were at home with Noah, probably making dinner. But Bradley took a detour to the coffee shop first, and then he stood there like an idiot for a few seconds, because he wasn't sure if you were still supposed to have caffeine or not. 
He ended up ordering the decaf version of your favorite drink. Then he asked the barista to borrow a sharpie, and he wrote something new on the cup this time. He stuffed a few dollars into the tip jar and headed home, still completely undecided about what he wanted to do.
---------------------------
Noah was his usual adorable self, and you wanted to be having a good day, but you were exhausted from work and Casey. Dinner was in the oven, and you were taking the time to carefully cut apples into peanut butter snails for Noah to have as his dessert, but Bradley wasn't even home yet. 
You were looking forward to getting changed out of your wrinkled scrubs and taking a long shower, which would be much easier to do if he were here. Everything was easier with him around. You started planning a trip to Disneyland on your phone while dinner cooked, but you wanted to run it past him before you booked anything. You smiled softly, knowing Bradley would tell you to put it on your princess card before thanking you for planning the next family vacation. But you had your first doctor's appointment coming up and thought it was better to go to Disneyland after that. But October was looking promising.
When you heard the front door open, and Skittles scampered into the living room, you felt your body sag against the counter in relief. "Daddy's home," you told Noah, and he pushed his new dinosaur coloring book aside and followed after Skittles. You brought up the rear, but that just meant that you'd get the longest hug from Bradley when it was your turn. 
"Come here, Mrs. Bradshaw," he rasped after he set Noah and Skittles down, and you were tucked in his embrace with your nose buried against him immediately. It was obvious that he was tired and hungry, but he didn't rush anything. He just held you like his life depended on it. Soft kisses teased along your forehead and temple as he whispered, "I brought you some coffee."
Then you noticed the cup he had set down on the TV stand, and you rubbed your cheek against his chest as you read it. "That's adorable, Daddy." He had scrawled Princess +1 on the cup this time, and it made your face feel warm. "But I think I need to cut back on my caffeine consumption."
"It's decaf, Princess" he whispered, his lips and mustache brushing the shell of your ear. 
The soft moan that left your lips had him chuckling as you said, "The baby and I thank you." Then you ditched his arms in favor of the coffee cup. When the kitchen timer went off, you kept your eyes on Bradley as you walked backwards away from him. "After Noah goes to bed, I want to talk about something important. It rhymes with Tisneyland. I thought we could go next month. After I talk to my doctor, of course."
He winced for a split second, but it would have been impossible to miss. Okay. You thought he made it clear he wanted to go on another family trip. Maybe he changed his mind. "Shit," he whispered, swallowing hard. "We can... we can go. No problem. Whenever you want."
The timer was still buzzing, otherwise you would have pressed the issue. Without another word you turned toward the kitchen and grabbed the oven mitts so you could get dinner on the table. But Bradley was acting strange. He even seemed more subdued with Noah which had you worried. 
"What happened at work?" you asked, sliding a plate of dinner in front of him. 
He shrugged. "Just a regular day. But I did tell Nat we're engaged." At least he smiled when he said that, and then he reached for you, looking up at you as you stood next to him. "Hey, I can't wait to go to Tisneyland with you."
You couldn't help but laugh, but you said, "We don't have to go in October. We can go next year or never. I just thought it was something you wanted to do."
"Book it," he said, squeezing your hip before dropping his hand. "I'll request a day off as soon as you book it after your appointment. We can take a long weekend."
Something was wrong, and you couldn't place it. But his eyes were clouded with doubt and your stomach soured so much, you could barely eat your own dinner. This didn't feel like the sweet man who agreed to go to daycare drop off with you this morning simply because you didn't want to go alone. When you offered to get Noah ready for bed, he agreed without really paying any attention to your words. 
"Come here, Sweet Noah," you whispered after Bradley kissed him goodnight, clearly distracted. You got him into his pajamas and got his teeth brushed, and like usual, he was yawning before his head even hit the pillow. You started to read him the book about farm animals that you picked out a few months ago with Bradley, and even though he was sound asleep by page two, you finished reading it just to have a few extra minutes with him. 
Eventually you found Bradley sitting on the couch with Skittles on his lap. When you leaned against the doorway, he held his hand out to coax you forward. "You didn't tell me about your day," he said softly. 
"I tried to during dinner, but it's like you weren't even there," you bit back, not moving an inch. "What's wrong? You change your mind about getting married?" you asked, holding up your left hand and spinning the ring loose with your fingers. "Or about the baby?"
Now he was up off the couch in an instant, Skittles looking rather alarmed by his sudden movement. "Hey," Bradley snarled, pulling you against him with his left hand and using his right fingers to push your ring back into place. "Don't say that. It's never going to happen."
"Then what's wrong?" you asked, giving him no room to continue to be vague and weird with you. "Just tell me."
"You gonna keep that ring on?" he asked, and you saw a flash of everything you loved so much about him in his eyes.
You pressed up onto your toes and kissed him. "Yes," you whispered before kissing him again and again. "I'll keep it on. Just tell me what's wrong."
He pulled you toward the couch, and after he sat, you straddled his lap while Skittles curled up on the cushion next to you. "Nothing's wrong," he whispered, his big hands sliding down your hips to your thighs, stroking you through the thin fabric of your pants. He was staring at your name where it was embroidered on your scrub shirt instead of meeting your eyes. "Earlier today, Maverick told me about something... interesting."
"Go on," you whispered, raking your fingers through his soft hair. "I already know something's bothering you, so just say it, Daddy."
He nodded slightly and kissed your forearm before he finally met your gaze. "It sounds like there's a brand new fleet of aircrafts with technology updates that have never been flown by American pilots before. I'm on a short list of aviators who have been invited to train on these jets overseas, most likely in the hopes that the Navy will adopt these planes in the future."
You nibbled on your lip and considered his words. "So, it's kind of like a deployment?" you asked, still dragging your fingers through his hair as you scooted a little closer. 
"Sort of," he said softly. "But it's optional. And I'm going to tell Mav I don't want to go. I'll be here, okay? We can go to Disneyland next month."
You studied his handsome face, and while he looked more relaxed now that he told you what Maverick said, you knew that wasn't the end of it. You pieced it together in your mind and leaned the rest of the way to his lips. He accepted your kiss as he rubbed his hands slowly along your thighs. You hummed and let your forehead rest against his. 
Your voice was calm as you asked, "But you do want to go, don't you?"
He remained quiet, but he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you so your body was flush against his and your cheek was resting on his shoulder. You relaxed against the steady rise and fall of his chest and the soothing beating of his heart. 
When he finally spoke, his voice was gravelly and deep, and it made you shiver. "The last thing I want is to be away from you and Noah and the baby. I don't want you under the impression that those thoughts are on my mind, okay? That's not what this is."
"I believe you, Bradley," you whispered against his neck. "But this sounds like a big deal. You made the list? Over so many other people? They chose you to try something brand new?"
His voice was a little more forceful as he said, "I do not want to leave you alone right now. It wouldn't be fair."
You kissed your way up his neck until your lips found his earlobe, and you kissed him there, too. You inhaled the smell of his shampoo as you said, "I love you, and I want to support you as much as you support me. If you want to do this, then I think you should."
There was no denying that you felt safer and more loved when you were with Bradley than you ever had before. But this was his career, and it sounded like he had a chance to be part of something huge. 
"You're right, Baby. I do want to go."
You nodded as he held you. "Do you have any other details?"
"No. There's a meeting on Thursday that I can sit in on if I let Mav know I'm interested, but I doubt I'll get a ton of information short of a departure date and maybe a location unless I sign on for this thing."
You kissed his cheek and pulled away so you could look at his face. "Next time, just tell me what's on your mind instead of trying to make an important decision without me."
"I'm sorry," he whispered, reaching for your left hand and kissing your palm and the spot where the band of your engagement ring wrapped around your finger. "But next time, don't even pretend like you're taking this thing off."
"I won't."
--------------------------
Somehow Bradley made it all the way to the meeting on Thursday, his curiosity piqued. When he found out where the meeting was being held, he was even more surprised. 
"Come to Admiral Simpson's office promptly at one o'clock," Maverick told him, and Bradley silently thanked you for clearing things up with Cyclone the way you had. There was no way his name would have made it onto any list if you didn't send the man a glass of bourbon at Warlock's retirement party. 
"I'll be there," he promised. And if he was surprised by the location, he was even more surprised when he showed up to find Cyclone and Maverick waiting for him and him alone. 
"Sir?" Bradley asked, standing until he was given permission to sit. He knew better than to ask a single question about the training before he had some information to work with, but his brain was swirling nonstop. You and he stayed up last night making a list of things he needed to know before making a decision. For example, Bradley desperately wanted to fly these sixth-gen fighters, but he wasn't willing to be gone for months on end. Hell, you still hadn't seen your doctor yet. That appointment wasn't happening until Monday.
"Lieutenant Bradshaw," Cyclone said, pushing a folder toward Bradley as he sat down behind his desk. "We chose you for this training protocol. Only you. If you are unwilling, then we will regroup and try to select someone else. However, time is tight and details are going to be scarce unless you agree to participate. Do you understand?"
"I understand, Sir," he replied, and then Cyclone tapped his fingers on the folder before releasing it to Bradley. 
Maverick was standing near the window, and Bradley got the feeling that his godfather was proud of him. He still wasn't sure why he was the only one here, but as he opened the folder and skimmed the pages, many of his immediate questions were answered.
As soon as he saw it, he shook his head. "You want me to fly to Japan on Monday morning? Because if that's a hard set date, then my immediate answer is no." 
He closed the folder and started to hand it back to Cyclone who was sharing a look with Maverick. "And if we could push it to Tuesday?" he asked without taking the folder.
"I'm listening," Bradley replied, honestly wondering what he had that the other pilots didn't.
Maverick stepped away from the window. "Bradl- Lieutenant Bradshaw," he corrected right away. Bradley realized it was hard for both of them to separate their professional relationship from the personal one they shared, especially when they did things like take family vacations together. "This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. You were chosen for your skill set and the way you prioritize communication. We don't want to have to select someone else, especially when we believe you'd be the best pilot available."
Cyclone cleared his throat and added, "Consider Tuesday morning your new departure time. Do you have an answer?"
Bradley blinked at him a few times, glanced down at the information in the folder, and then looked up again. "You need me to give you an answer right now? Sir?"
He nodded once and folded his hands. "Before you leave my office."
---------------------------
You were too tired to do anything after work except pick Noah up from preschool. Seriously, if Casey even tried to talk to you, it was going to be her funeral. But for once, luck was on your side, because she wasn't even there. You signed Noah out without incident and headed home to talk about this special training mission.  
Bradley must have learned his lesson from earlier this week. You couldn't believe he was about to make a decision without you like that, just to try to save you the stress. You could handle it. After your appointment on Monday, you could handle anything that came your way. 
When he got home shortly after you did, he told you immediately that he needed to talk to you. He kissed Noah on the top of his head and pulled you to the kitchen doorway, a frantic look on his face as he stroked your cheek with his fingers. "I'm going."
Your heart plummeted. He really did decide without talking to you about the details. You wanted him to go, but you also wanted to talk about the pros and cons with him first. But in the end, you really had no say here at all. "You are? I thought we were going to talk it through."
"We were," he whispered. "That was my intention, Princess. But they made me decide before I could leave Cyclone's office."
You made a concerned face. "Cyclone's office? How did everyone fit in there?"
Bradley shook his head, his cheeks a little ruddy from frustration or embarrassment, you weren't sure which. "They didn't, Princess. It was just me. I was the whole list of people."
"Oh," you gasped. It was hard for you to understand at times that he was at the top of his career, because he was just as devoted to his life at home. With you and Noah. "Where are you going? And when do you leave?"
"Japan," he rasped, his face full of guilt now. "And I leave on Tuesday morning."
The pounding of your heart was making you feel nauseous. "Tuesday?"
He nodded. "They originally wanted me to leave on Monday, and if that was the case, I was ready to turn it down, no further questions asked."
"You were?"
His eyes went wide. "I'm not missing the first appointment for something optional."
You nodded slowly, because that brought up your next question. You sensed he might be missing subsequent appointments. "When will you be back?"
He wrapped his hands around your hips and pulled you closer to him. "I have no idea."
Then you started to cry, and you felt like such an idiot. You wanted him to go.  You wanted him to have this experience and impact new pilots in the future, but you also thought you'd have a little more time before he left. "Just come back safely," you whispered while he let you cry in his arms.
--------------------------
Bradley noticed right away that you were a little distant. Maybe you needed a day or two to process everything, but in another day or two, he'd be packing and leaving. He thought he was doing what you wanted him to, but you cried yourself to sleep on Thursday. You were obviously exhausted and frankly kind of moody, and now he was kicking himself for agreeing to a training mission that had no disclosed ending date. 
"Fuck," he grunted on Saturday afternoon when he took Noah to the park so you could have some time to yourself. Pretty soon, you'd be on single, pregnant parent duty around the clock for probably weeks on end. Bradley's guilt was really prevalent now.
"Daddy?" Noah asked as he was being pushed on the swing. 
"Yeah, Bub?"
"Can I have a Halloween costume?"
"Of course," Bradley groaned, cradling his forehead in his hand. Halloween was still six weeks away, but he could already imagine the tears in his son's eyes if he wasn't home in time for trick-or-treating. Hell, he hadn't even explained to Noah that he was going away again yet. "You can pick something out with Mommy," he added, his voice harsh now.
Noah looked back at him over his shoulder and started to slow himself down. When he jumped out of the swing, he ran to Bradley who scooped him up. "Can we go home?" he asked. He wrapped his arms around Bradley's neck like he could tell he needed a hug. "I miss Mommy and Skittles."
Bradley kissed his son's cheek. "You know what? I miss them, too. Let's go home." He buckled Noah in and drove slowly. He should probably start packing tonight, but he was just dying to spend some time alone with you. The last thing he wanted was to return to a quiet house and a quiet fiancée right now. You and he were going to need to have another conversation about this, and he already felt like a jerk for wanting to have everything. 
When he pulled into the driveway as the sun was starting to set, you were in the front yard with Skittles on her leash. You were wearing one of your little floral dresses, and Bradley almost ran into your car as he looked at you. God, he was stupid for voluntarily agreeing to leave you. Once he was parked, you opened the back door and started unbuckling Noah and lifting him out like the most devoted mom in the world, and Bradley was about to lose his mind if he couldn't sort this out tonight.
"Hey, Daddy," you said softly as you turned, holding a very sleepy looking Noah against your shoulder. "Should we feed him dinner and get him in bed?"
"I think so," Bradley replied, eyeing you up and down, his gaze catching on your glossy lips. "You look gorgeous. Why are you all dressed up?"
You shrugged like it was nothing. "I just wanted to look cute for you."
His eyebrows shot up in response. "Don't you always?"
A soft smile found your lips as you started to head for the front door with Noah. Bradley followed you inside, and once Noah was eating leftovers, he pulled you into the hallway where he pushed you back against the wall. 
"Does this mean we can talk about some things tonight?" he asked, stroking your bottom lip before kissing you softly. 
You moaned gently into his mouth as his weight pressed against you. "Yes," you whispered. "Of course. We can talk about anything you want."
"You told me you wanted me to fly this mission," he said, and you nodded before you kissed the tip of his nose.
"I know. And I do. I just needed to process everything. The timeline just threw me off a little bit. And if I'm being honest, it's never not going to be scary when you leave."
"I'm coming back," he promised, knowing full well he only had so much control over that. "I'm coming back to my family as soon as I can."
This time when you nodded, you threw your arms around his neck and kissed him hard on the lips. "I know, Daddy," you whimpered between filthy kisses, rubbing yourself against him. He rutted you back into the wall, and you moaned his name as he cupped your ass. And that's when he felt it, firm against his fingertips compared to the softness of your body.
"Fuck," he grunted, easing your dress up inch by inch until he was touching the silicone. 
"Do you want me to put my crown on to match?" you asked sweetly as he spread you open wider with his hands. "I can be your going away present."
Bradley leaned closer until his lips were pressed to your ear. "I want you in bed with your crown on as soon as Noah's asleep. Then I'm going to fuck the absolutely shit out of you. And then after that, I'm going to make love to you until you're satisfied. And then we're going to talk about everything that's going to happen while I'm in Japan until we're both comfortable with all of it. And then we're going to start planning our wedding."
"Yes," you agreed. "That's exactly how I want to spend our evening."
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Just a few more chapters left. Do you think he made a good decision? Leaving Princess right now? Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls
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3d-wifey · 8 months
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NSFT Alphabet: MK1 Johnny Cage Edition
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A/N: Wrote this to hold you Johnny girls (gender neutral) over until I finish that smut 😙 Plus, I find writing these Alphabets for a character in preparation to write full-fledged smut for them is very helpful in capturing accurate characterization. It's almost like a writing exercise. I've written three different ones so far and I tried to keep them in character, if that makes sense. Like, I tried putting their personality and language in it. Okay, enjoy.
A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
Talking. So much talking. But, honestly, did you expect anything else? As he’s pulling out, as he’s carrying you to the shower, as you’re washing his hair. And when it inevitably leads to shower sex, he’s talking then too. You’ll never meet a man who loves the sound of his own voice more than Johnny Cage.
B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners)
Uh, how ‘bout the artillery canons strapped to his arms? C’mon, I mean, who wouldn’t want a ticket to the gun show? 
Face. Is saying your face too cliche? Hear him out! You want specifics? He can do specifics! He likes the dimples that pop in your cheeks when he finally gets you to laugh at one of his jokes, the little crease you get between your eyebrows when he’s pissed you off, the adorable way your nose scrunches up when he does that one thing with his tongue that drives you crazy. See? Specifics!
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically)
Pull out game…very weak. Embarrassingly weak, actually. He swears he’s never had this problem before. His ability to pull out in the nick of time has always been something he’s prided himself on. However, he vastly underestimated just how good you’d feel. He’s clean, you’re clean, and, hey! You both prefer the feeling of hitting it raw, the way nature intended it. However, your pussy’s like wet kryptonite. And he’s only a man. A very awesome man, but a man nonetheless. So birth control it is! Or, if you’re turned off by all the side effects, he can be talked into a vasectomy. It’s either that or give up the sweet, sweet embrace of your walls when he’s balls deep. 
On second thought, that vasectomy sounds pretty tempting. It is reversible, right?
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Johnny would leak his own sex tape. Plain and simple. He’d leak it from a burner account and watch the chaos ensue. There’s no shame in his game. Hey, it’s ranked the Number 1 Celebrity sex tape for a reason.
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
Is this even a question? Actors, singers, models, directors, producers. He’s THE Johnny Cage, Hollywood royalty. He’s fucked actual royalty. You’re in good hands—as long as he cares about you. If you’re a random hookup, then he’s not really working for your pleasure here. You’ll definitely cum, but it’s mainly a pit stop on his way to the finish line. 
F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying)
Reverse cowgirl. Johnny’s an ass man, through and through. He loves fucking up into you and watching your ass ripple with both of your movements. And he loves holding onto you. Big hands grabbing your waist, hips, thighs, and especially your ass. He also loves seeing you both in action. So reverse cowgirl + some artfully placed full-length mirrors = Him wrapping his arms around your stomach, rubbing at your clit, and forcing you to watch yourself as you desperately grind against him, AKA Heaven. 
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)
Oh, c’mon. It isn’t like him to be serious in any situation. He’s gotta slip a joke in every now and then. Get it? Slip a joke in?
H = Hair (How well-groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Wax on, wax off, baby. Smoother than a seal. Or, uh, some other sexy, hairless animal. You mourn when he waxes his happy trail. 
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.)
You’ll be surprised by how charming he can be. It’s not all jokes and great orgasms. It’s also loving touches, reverent compliments, and amazing orgasms.
J = Jack off (Masturbation Headcanon)
He’s got a healthy libido and a pretty stacked schedule, so sometimes a quick introduction between his hand and mini Johnny can’t be helped. But he’s also got a smoking hot girlfriend (you), so jerking off by himself is a rare occurrence. 
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
Exhibitionism. What can he say? He’s a performer at heart and he loves an audience. But nothing crazy, just your average celebrity having sex on a yacht that’s in full view of the paparazzi. Or the occasional jerking off with you telling him how fast or slow to go. Oh, and you can’t forget about the sex tapes. Man, with the amount of videos he has of the two of you going at it, he could start an archive. You two have definitely ended up on the cover of TMZ and the front page of Twitter.
Voyeurism. But only for you. He’s enthralled by anything you do, including how many of your much smaller fingers will you stuff inside yourself to replicate the feeling of him stretching you wide. It usually leads to you begging for him to touch you, something else he’s in love with. Nothing wrong with a little hands-on audience participation.
Dirty talk. Normally, dirty talk is kind of basic to any old romp in the hay, but Johnny, being Johnny, puts his own Cage flair on it. Those corny oneliners somehow translate to the perfect thing to say to get you hot. He’s like Shakespear, if Shakespear was good-looking and not a virgin. You know what they say: everything sounds better when you’re horny. Who says that? Uh…
Fighting/Sparing which always leads to blood play. Winning a match gets Johnny’s blood pumping. The adrenaline of escaping death and the crowd hyping him up. And the crux of it all is you who happens to get especially wet when he comes to you covered in blood, grinning with a glint in his eyes that’s poorly hidden behind his blood-speckled sunglasses (a glint that many may describe as mania). And it certainly goes the other way. Watching you kick ass makes him harder than a diamond. Sparing together is a no-brainer that leads to fucking on his gym floor, or, honestly, wherever you two fall. Lui Kang must regret making you two his champions in this timeline with how often he’s walked in on you two. Offering to let him join probably doesn’t soften the blow, but, hey, it’s only polite.
L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)
In his mansion. In one of his lavish beds, or pressed up against the wall-length windows. In his Bentley or in the back of his limo. He’s a big fan of fingering you under the table at an award show and then fucking you in a bathroom at said award show when he should definitely be on stage presenting. For whatever reason, walking the red carpet always gets him worked up. And going to the club together always ends with you riding him in the VIP section.
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
Such a complex question for a man with complex taste. I’m joking, Johnny is so easy. It’s actually ridiculous how easily you turn him on. Laugh at his joke, hard. Complement his acting or fighting, hard. Running your fingers through his hair/scratching his scalp, hard. Feel him up/tease him in any context, hard. You’re covered in blood after a win, hard, hard, rock hard.
“Are you King Midas? Cuz you make me hard with just one touch.”
“That one was actually kinda clever.” 
N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Nothing too gross. He’s all for sloppy, messy sex, but he has to draw the line somewhere. There’s nasty 👁🫦👁 and there’s n a s t y 👁👄👁. 
He likes to tease/do the opposite of what you say, but if you’re not 100% on board with what he’s doing, then he’s stopping it then and there. Remember: there’s nothing sexier than explicit consent!
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Preferred to receive before he started dating you, and only ever had the urge to go down on someone if he had been drinking before. After you started dating, he definitely loved it whenever you gave him head, but he didn’t realize how much pleasure he could get from giving you pleasure. 
He loves sloppy head, giving and receiving, so if you weren’t wet before, you definitely will be after he gets his mouth on you. 
P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
Depends on when and where you’re doing it. And if you two are “allowed” to be doing it in said place.
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Big fan of the guy who came up with the idea of quickies, enough said. 
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)
C’mon. He’s the leading source of your sex tapes getting leaked. I mean, how do you think the paps keep finding you in compromising positions? A little tip-off to them while you take his tip, ha!
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)
It’s like he runs off horsepower, good God. If you’re trying to go until he’s tired out, it’s gonna be a couple of rounds until then.
T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
He’s a fan of dildos. Specifically, watching you fuck yourself with one. “Go ahead, baby. Show me how bad you want me.” And show him, you do. God, you know how to put on a show. But you shouldn’t have to settle for some random dildo. You’re with the Cage man, and he would get a mold of his dick made for you. And they say he’s not romantic. 
Strap-on. That’s it. And he takes it well ;).
Remote-controlled vibrators, for you and him. Hell, let’s make a game out of it. See who can last the longest in public, there are no losers! 
U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)
His version of teasing is doing the opposite of what you said to do. You want him to speed up? He’s slowing down and making sure you feel every inch inside you. Oh, keep his hands above his head? You gonna make him? He’s a total brat, but you knew what you were getting yourself into when you agreed to date him.
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Heh, yeahhh. He’s real loud. Moans, groans, screams, whimpers. You name it, he���s doing it. It’s the performer in him. And because he knows you like how he sounds.
W = Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character)
Tattoos? Sexy as hell. If you were to ever get his name tattooed on you (preferably a tramp stamp), then you might as well start planning what flowers you want in your bouquet. I could see him getting your name tattooed on him too. Probably on his pelvis, in the middle of his v-line. In case anyone ever needs a reminder of who his dick belongs to.  
Type of guy to dedicate a Mortal Kombat match to you, and then lose. Ah, I’m joking. He’d beat his opponent’s ass all because you promised him victory sex if he won and he doesn’t take victory sex lightly.
X = X-ray (Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
He’s got an 8.5–8.9 inch hog, shower not a grower. Little Johnny isn’t so little. There’s a reason he’s alright with doing full-frontal nudity if the scene calls for it. They’ve had to CG out his bulge in post-production in every Ninja Mime movie. It’s not his fault spandex happens to be the clingiest material known to man.
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
Higher than Mount Fuji. He’s a stallion in his prime with a gorgeous girlfriend. His spare time is filled with filling you. And you both tend to feed off of each other, so all it takes is for one of you to be the tiniest bit turned on, and then, boom! You’re both desperately grinding against each other in a supply closet. Ain’t that just the way?
Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterward)
Depends. He’s kind of like a dog that needs to tire himself out before he can sleep. 
Click for a Johnny Cage-shaped surprise👀👀
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adultbabystories · 2 months
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Sticky Pants - Part A
When someone sees you, he may think you started to wear diapers because you wet yourself. Now it may be true, but it’s not why you started. It’s not why Daddy decided to make this translation for you, whether you liked it or not. 
Daddy had enough of catching you touching yourself. When you were alone. When he was in the house and you were in another room. Even once when there were guests in the house and you forgot to lock the bathroom door. One gentleman only wanted to wash his hands after dinner and he had to watch you being naughty. Daddy had enough.
That gentleman told Daddy that from his experience, the best thing naughty boys need is to “Lock them up”, as you heard him telling Daddy that evening after the incident. 
A week after, Daddy called you to come sit next to him. He explained he was done with your behavior. He took down your shorts and tighty whities, and with a swift motion locked your flaccid penis.
“I knew small was the right size.” he chuckled and fisted your shoulder.
You were shocked and red from embarrassment. 
The chastity device, or as Daddy liked to call it, “Cage”, became your new reality. You were so horny but couldn’t do anything about it. You missed touching yourself so much. The frustration grew stronger every day. One morning you woke up to find out you had a wet dream. You panicked and threw away the underwear because you were afraid Daddy would find out. Since that morning, pre cum in your tighty whities was a regular thing. You couldn’t help it, it was just pouring out.
One evening the same gentleman who gave Daddy that horrible advice came to dinner again. When you sat in front of him, waves of shame and resentment were pulsing inside of you towards that man. You hated him for what he’d done to you. All those awful emotions were stirring up something inside of you and in your pants. You were throbbing in your cage. You couldn’t look at the man because when you did, your cage was closing on you even more. You asked to be excused from the table, which Daddy granted. When you were standing up, all of you were visible, including your gray sweatpants. 
“Awwww did your boy have an accident?” the man smiled.
“What?” Daddy asked as he was coming back from the kitchen.
“We got a clear case of ‘Sticky Pants’” the man laughed and pointed.
“Come here!” Daddy raised his voice at you.
You walked towards him. He took your wrist in his hand and lifted it so you won’t hide what happened. With his other hand, he swatted your rear, like you were just a bad boy. All that, in front of that man.
“What am I gonna do with you? Huh?! What I’m going to do with him? I knew you were ruining your tighty whities for a while now, isn’t it right? Such a bad boy, and in front of our guest.” Daddy was mad.
“Well, There is a solution for keeping Sticky Pants dry.” the man said and winked at you.
“I’m listening…” Daddy said as he sat down in his chair, forcing you to sit on his lap when you were on the verge of crying.
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womenstruation · 20 days
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One of the biggest ways young girls are exploited in the global South is via the “house girl” culture. I’m speaking on how it works in Nigeria as that is my experience but I know it happens all around the world.
“House girls” are domestic servants, usually late teens though I have seen girls as young as six or seven, employed by middle and upper class families. They do everything from cooking and cleaning to caring for the elderly and young children and get very little wages. Most times these girls never see a penny of their wages- it’s all sent to their families. In Nigeria, these girls tend to come from very impoverished families living in border towns and often times do not speak the language before being sent to these families that exploit them.
Due to their young age, lack of any family nearby or money, poor education, and Nigeria’s legal system, these girls are overwhelmingly subject to sexual abuse at the hands of their male employers. In fact there is a common trope in media of the “husband cheating with the house girl and replacing the “madam” of the house. And when these men impregnate these girls, they are sent back to their villages in shame while the cycle continues.
They also face lots of other abuse. One of my mother’s friends was a “house girl” in the 70s when she was just thirteen and she was only given mouldy food and left overs to eat for most of her childhood. she once told me of a time where she was so thirsty, she drank the dirty water her abusers had used to wash their hands. I have also seen “house girls” physically beaten by their abusers and subject to horrific punishments- once as a child I saw a very young girl forced to ride in the boot of a car while all the employers children threw their imported backpacks at her.
There have also been situations in which families immigrate and arrange to bring their house girls with them. They continue to abuse them and when these girls manage to break free, they face deportation and further exploitation.
Of course such experiences are usually less common but the hiring of house girls is not viewed as the exploitation it is. Some people, my parents included, seem to view themselves as saving these girls from their lives in the village where they would get married young and live in poverty with lots of children. But how is it saving them to deprive them of education and enslave them? It is said that it is easy to recognise a house girl: shaven heads, old and dirty clothes and a scarily small stature. They look nothing like girls who have been saved.
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squidsystem · 4 months
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fire emblem dragons are so cool and awesome when they actually interact with the implications of them and it's a shame that some of their character designs are just really bad which obscures the cool stories involved with them. Because fire emblem dragons are just people, they think like people, they grow like people, they act like people, but they live a mind bendingly long time. I love the child dragon characters because more often than not they're either unnerving with how much they've lived and how much they understand when they literally just look like 10 year old, and or they are too young to even comprehend the meaning of their quite literally thousands and thousands of years lifespans. The fact Tiki is still grappling with the traumatic experience of losing everyone she's ever loved 2000 years after losing them is just such big frown. Like imagine the existential horror of being an 11 year old weird girl but for centuries instead of a year. The old as fuck dragons are really cool too, I think the degeneration lore is really cool and I don't see concepts like it get explored enough, the idea that being so powerful that mortals consider you an unknowable is so unsustainable that they essentially lose their sanity and eventually their sapience is so fucked up. And they probably didn't even realise it was happening until entire ages had already passed. Imagine being a member of a species with a fatal flaw that no one could know about until it was far too late. The fact pretty much all dragons in Fire Emblem are the humanoid manaketes is literally because the ones that didn't are more or less extinct because they were too prideful to relinquish their power, and in some sense, their entire identity. More FE stories should examine the experience of their dragons. Are any manaketes dysphoric because they're forced to live in a body that doesn't reflect who they really are? Imagine the angst. I love fire emblem
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