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#for me it is the most likely scenario ?
riaki · 6 months
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moneyload | satoru gojo x reader (implied fem)
this is for @satoruoo + everyone who’s tired of my angst | 1k wc
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satoru likes spoiling you.
no— like would be the world's greatest understatement. satoru feels about spoiling you the way he feels about you— he doesn’t just like you, he‘s utterly enamored with you. if you asked, he'd move mountains for you. or give up a portion of his candy; both are equitable in his bright eyes. he loves you so much that he'd skip a basketball session with suguru or leave in the middle of the fight to throw the leftover scraps of a cursed spirit to whoever was unlucky enough to be there at the time; you're more important. you've always been.
yeah, that’s gotta be it. a perfect way to paint his feelings for you on a pure canvas brightened by your smile, light as a feather and lively as the sun. and you're completely deserving, he thinks— you, who's always been so patient and kind with him.
as such, he thinks it’s a crime to waste such a beautiful figure on things less than lavish dress and delicate jewelry; but to be honest, he thinks you could don a potato sack and still make it look exquisite. nevertheless, each time you protest when he drapes another dainty necklace glittering with gems cut from a million-dollar wallet and 58 facets (all the reasons he loves you— that's what he calls them.), he shushes you promptly with a swift, sweet kiss; you get a noseful of his expensive cologne every time he sidles up to you and gets comfortable. which, for the record, is quite often.
out of everything he gets you; bouquets of beautiful speckled flowers that look as if a painter dumped their entire palette of pastels and pretties onto the petals, sweet chocolates dark with the tiniest amount of cherry liquor in the center ("i don't need them— i already get drunk off of you, sweetheart!"), fragrant perfume or the latest comfortable clothing that catches his eye (this one's less common. he likes it better when you're only in his clothes.), jewelry is the one he always finds his way back to the most often.
why? well, if you ask him— there's nothing better than being sprawled on your couch with his head in your lap, nuzzling into your warm hand as he catches a whiff of the perfume he gifted you last week paired with the reddest rose he could find on your wrist. your hands card through his hair, and he uses the opportunity to catch your arm before you can move any further, giving you a smug grin as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a box.
(it's a little embarrassing the amount of times you've thought he was going to propose from that alone.)
you'll open it, and it'll be a pretty silver necklace that matches the one around his neck, or a gold ring with ornate details that he slips onto your fingers after taking your hand in his and pressing a kiss to your knuckles with a smile and a laugh. sometimes it's a bracelet adorned with rich jewels the color of your eyes; maybe something rose quartz to represent the flush on his cheeks you always seem to elicit or a marigold yellow to show the pure joy he gets from being around you. if you ask him about it, he'll just say, "i wasn't kidding when i said i get drunk off of you, baby." with a boyish giggle that's far too charming to not have been used in his younger years to get his way and a sweet little wink of an afterthought that has your heart racing.
on the occasions when the gift is far less... appropriate, you'll always sigh and chastise him with a shake of your head because you both know the fabric will be torn to shreds in a matter of a few minutes. he does it anyway, though. he's always been a little bit of a brat in that sense.
whatever it ends up as, satoru absolutely adores seeing your reactions; the cute flush on your cheeks when you accept it with a little thanks and a kiss to his cheek, leaning forward on the tips of your toes because he's too tall for his own good. maybe even to hook a finger around the bridge of his sunglasses for lips to lips, if he's lucky. of course, he knows he doesn't have to buy your affection— you've made that abundantly clear in moments he doesn't like to think about as anything more than vulnerability when he's worn out, but there's just something about you that makes him want to pile it on. he's always had more money than he knows what to do with, anyway.
and maybe, just maybe— one day he'll dare to hope for a future past school hallways, flattering dresses and skirts or sneaky kisses when he's a little sweaty and his jacket is in your arms and you're on the bleachers, hijacking shoko's pack of cigarettes while the squeak of shoes on the gym floor and the sound of a basketball rattling in the hoop fills your ears. past nights when you're curled up in his arms and he can comfortably rest his head in the crook of your neck, tucked away where it always should be (and always will be).
he'll hope for days when he gets to wake up to you by his side, a silver band with so much more meaning than the fifth one he's given you that week on your ring finger and a matching one on his own, because satoru loves you so much that he'd empty out the vaults of a bank just to make you smile at him. not in the hollow way his father always had at home, or in the obligatory resolute smiles of the servants on his estate, but in a genuine way; a way no one else (except his mom) had ever come close to because if he sold everything he ever had for you, his world would still be right in front of him, holding his hands and kissing his face in spontaneous bursts of love, like shooting stars dancing across his cheeks as a way of thanks.
...so, maybe satoru likes spoiling you so much because you always seem to return tenfold.
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if u looked at my search history you'd see 'how many cuts does a diamond have' and 'what are the chocolates with alcohol in them called' my (riaki) stuff. don't repost and/or plagiarize !
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pherredraws · 2 months
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from the homumiko mines
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ghost-proofbaby · 6 months
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my little scaredy cat
request: [anon] i would love to see watching horror movies with best friend!eddie and reader instinctively grabs his arm and hides herself against him and it leads to feelings and confessions haha
warnings: none! except it's unedited, which would be scary if that wasn't 90% of my writing on here lmao
pairing: eddie x fem!reader
wc: 3.1k+
i had a lot of fun busting this one out. it's just so cute and certainly how i wish i was spending my halloween! also, rest assured, i am also eyeing the other request you submitting anon. <3 happy haunting, my friends.
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This was such a stupid idea. Such a stupid, stupid idea. 
You’ve always been a scaredy cat. Everyone in your friend group was well aware of it – you loved the idea of Halloween, but your poor heart just couldn’t take most of the frights that came with the eccentric holiday. 
It was fine, most of the time. If anyone had the urge to plan out a day at a pumpkin patch, you were eagerly accepting the invitation. If anyone wanted to bake any sort of sweet treats laced with pumpkin spice or caramel apple flavor profiles, you were already in your car and armed with the perfect recipe to help them. Someone wanted to peruse the decoration aisles of various stores? Wait no more, the perfect shopping buddy could be found in you. You, who could handle most of the trivial and sweet aspects of the holiday. You, who divulged in the more aesthetic side of it all rather than the scary side of it. 
Your distaste of being jumpscared or unnerved by gore and ghouls alike only really caused issues when it came to your best friend, Eddie Munson. 
His taste in experience of the frightful time of year was entirely the opposite of yours. It’s not that he didn’t like decorating caramel apples with you or that he didn’t find your choice in decorations cute, because he did. But he liked the terrifying aspect of it all – he liked the adrenaline rush of fictional danger. 
And friendship, in all its glory, is about give and take, is it not? 
Compromise. That’s what he called it when he’d begged and pleaded for you to join him in a movie night. Because the moment the suggestion fell from his lips, you both knew he had no intentions of watching one of your usual festive movies that only teased about the creatures that crept through the night. PG-13 films that didn’t really do it for him. No, Eddie Munson had insisted you join him for a movie night, and you both knew exactly what kind of movie he intended to play. 
You just hadn’t anticipated the scariest fucking movie you’d ever endured for the boy beside you on the couch. 
“Shit!” 
Your squeak is muffled over by the crescendo of creepy instrumental echoing from the small TV across the room. A cycle had quickly been found during this movie night; the movie would fall eerily silent as a tense scene arrived, you’d tense every single muscle so hard that Eddie could feel you shaking from the other side of the couch, and then once the jumpscare occurred and your small squeals were let out involuntarily, his own laughter would follow. 
“Oh, come on,” he coos a little, leaning closer to the middle of the couch, still a fair distance away from your figure bundled up in blankets that were being used more as shields than anything at this point, “That one wasn’t even that bad!” 
“To you!” you snap, yanking the fabric back down from your eyes only to glare at Eddie rather than look at whatever grotesque was plaguing the screen, “I’m a scaredy cat, remember?” 
And oh, remember he does. In all your years of friendship, Eddie had called you that nickname more times than either of you could count. He never meant it with ill will, but it was easier to tease you than to admit just how adorable he found your small reactions. 
Easier to tease than to admit just how badly he wishes you would seek protection or refuge from him during the scares he put you through. 
His face falls slightly, but he doesn’t let his small grin slip up, not wanting to give himself or his twinge of guilt away, “I’m sorry, kitty cat. C’mere – I can protect you from all the big bad monsters-”
Eddie’s opened arms are only met with one of the pillows you’d stolen off his bed to make the couch more comfortable. It smacks into the center of his chest with deadly aim and ferocious power, making him let out an exaggerated oomph. 
“Fuck you,” you grumble, adjusting the blanket around your shoulders now that the scare had passed. You almost tack on a comment about how he’s lucky you like him, because you would never endure this for anyone else.
Robin had tried. Steve had tried. Nancy had tried. They’d all tried to entice you in the scarier, classic Halloween experiences to no avail. Every offer of going to a haunted house, or attending the premiere of the newest horror movies at the local theater, were shot down before they even finished their sentences. 
Only one person could break your staunch demeanor on your limits. And right now, you sort of hated his guts. 
Eddie softens a bit, watching the way you pout and curl into yourself just a little tighter.
“Sweetheart,” he finally drops the cool guy demeanor, his voice gentle as he leans over with genuine concern, “We can turn it off, if you really want. Hell, if you want me to, I’ll put on something in your taste. Little Shop of Horrors, or maybe Beetlejuice? Those don’t usually scare you.” 
The offer is enticing. But you have a point to prove. 
“No,” you sit up a little straighter, square your shoulders with a little more defiance and faux bravery, “No, you wanted to watch…” 
You pause, and Eddie smiles softly as he supplies the title of his film of choice, “Poltergeist.” 
“Right, yes, Poltergeist. You wanted to watch it, so we’re gonna watch it.” 
Your stubbornness is admirable. 
Even when it falters. Even when another jumpscare has you ever so slightly scooching towards the center of the couch, no longer pressed to the opposite arm from Eddie in defiance. Even when Eddie spreads his legs casually, and you bump your knee into his thigh, the slightest touch bringing immense comfort.  
Once you discover that, it all seems downhill from there. 
A press of a knee against the side of his thigh turns into your side brushing his. Suddenly, the blanket you’d wielded like a weapon becomes shared. Moments where you try to hold up a barrier between your eyes and the screen cause slight disturbances in Eddie’s own vision. And then, it happens.
The thing he’d been diabolically planning for years. The one scenario he’d dreamt of every Halloween season, the one intention he’d held secretly every time he’d put your through endless scares. 
The one touch that could send him into cardiac arrest. 
He almost missed it, it happens so suddenly. One moment, you’re just curling up a little bit closer to him. The next, your arms fully wiggly their way around his bicep, capturing his arm in your grasp as your face buries into his shoulder. He can no longer smell the buttery popcorn or faint chocolate on his breath as you invade his space. It’s all sweet shampoo and subtle perfume that tickles his nose, skin against skin in a quick flush as he can hear the vibrations of your predictable scream against the fabric of his shirt. 
You hardly seem to notice the sudden entanglement of your bodies in all your fear — your knees practically in his lap and your torso clinging onto his forearm for dear life. You’re acting on instinct, seeking out humane comfort without considering what you were doing.
When you do notice, you don’t let go, only slacken your grip. 
“Oh, I-“ you stutter, pulling back slightly to look up at a stunned Eddie, “I’m sorry, that’s- I just- I was scared and-“ 
“It’s fine,” he cuts you off, eyes blown wide, “It’s… it’s fine.” 
It’s more than fine.
His heart races in a way no horror movie or haunted house could incite. Every nerve ending tingles, everywhere his body connects to yours burning in delicious warmth. He wants to spend an eternity like this — you, curled up to him, clinging to him like your holy savior. 
Years, and years, and years of wait pays off. Patience is surely virtue as those big eyes of yours look into his. 
After a couple awkward beats of silence, you whisper, “I don’t think I like Poltergeist.” 
Just like that, you have him laughing again. It’s slow and steady, a gentle chuckle that stirs from his chest in disbelief as he tries to thaw from his shock and yearning.
“You think?” he breathes out, tone not nearly teasing enough to cover up the shakiness. 
He swears he can feel your heart pounding against his shoulder. 
“Don’t be mean,” you start to scowl, slowly unfurling. But he stops you — angles his arm so you can’t slip your arms away as easily as before, tilting his head in closer.
“Mean? I could never be mean to you, my little scaredy cat.” 
“You’re literally being mean as we speak-“
And so, he decides to stop speaking. 
It’s impulsive and an even dumber idea than you enduring such a scary movie to be around him. But you look so fucking cute, his heart is tearing up his throat, and suddenly his lips are on yours in his largest spurt of bravery to date. Even more brave than the time he’d made himself a human shield between you and that dude with a chainsaw at the local haunted house, despite the way chainsaws actually kind of made him shit himself.
You don’t fully reciprocate at first. His lips are pressed hard against yours, tips of noses crushed and eyes fluttered shut, and he starts to believe he’s made a mistake. A terrible, terrible mistake that just washed years of friendship down the drain. 
Until your hands tighten on his bicep. Until that soft squeeze comes, and it feels like he can breathe again despite sharing the air with you. 
He breaks away for just a second, “I-“
“Don’t be mean,” you repeat your earlier words with entirely new meaning now. He opens his eyes and finds yours already pleading up at his face, glossy and desperate, movie forgotten. 
Those hands once squeezing his bicep let go and move to the collar of his t-shirt. Normally, he’d make a comment about you stretching it out, deforming the perfect fit that took him ages to wear in, but he can’t be bothered to feel anything but delight when you’re tugging him back in for another kiss. 
And the last thing he wants to be is mean. So he kisses you kindly, kisses you with all the care in the world that he had buried beneath his skin since the day he met you. Kisses you like it could scare away all the monsters that wait in the shadows. Like he’d lay down his life to protect you from the very frights he’d been subjecting you to for far too long now. 
“Hey,” he mumbles, pulling back briefly, “Hey.”
This time, his forehead doesn’t leave yours as he pauses the kisses. 
“God, Munson, I’ve waited for this God knows how long, sat through so many fucking scary movies, and you’re really going to-“ 
“Hold on, what?”
He’s grinning so hard, it aches. In his cheeks, in his chest, in the back of his head. Your words sink in and he relishes each syllable, even in your frustration.
“I- Uh,” you pull back suddenly, fingers still loosely tangled in his t-shirt, “I-“
“Enlighten me, sweetheart,” he insists, eyes finally fluttering back open to catch the embarrassment painted plainly across your face. You wear a nearly painful expression that only tightens as you know he’s watching you, “Just how many scary movies have you sat through wanting me to kiss you?” 
“Fuck off,” you sigh out, shaking your head a little, “I mean it. Fuck right off-“
“Cause I could probably give a ballpark number for how many times I’ve wanted to kiss you during them,” he continues on quickly, “Actually, I bet I could count how many times I suggested watching these fuckin’ films just for this moment only to chicken out.” 
Your eyes are open again in an instant. Sparkling with hope and realization of what he was getting at. “Excuse me?”
“Do you really think I’m that mean?” he scoffs, finally reaching up for your hands, surprisingly calm despite the delightful storm wreaking havoc in his chest. He takes your knuckles in his and lets his thumb trail right over them, “No offense, but if I didn’t like you, I wouldn’t have-“
“You like me?” 
Your voice is sweet as honey, bright and drowning out the horror movie still playing. 
He smiles, boyish glint and all, as he confirms, “I like you.” 
You put the first real amount of distance between the two of you since you’d started to cling to him out of fear, almost as if signaling that bravery beginning to bubble over in your chest, “You actually like me?”
“Yes. Is that so hard to believe?”
“No, I- Well, maybe,” you bite your lip, and he’s suddenly dizzy with the need to capture it between his own teeth, “I just… I always thought you might like someone a little braver.”
His nose wrinkles, hands still twisting yours in his, “Excuse me? I think you’re plenty brave.” 
“Eddie, you’ve said it yourself, I’m a goddamn scaredy cat.”
“So?”
“So,” you persist, shuffling so that your legs fold beneath you and you gain some leverage over him, “You’re the exact opposite. You love scary things. Not even just during Halloween, but year round. And you’re telling me you like me even though I’m a scaredy cat.” 
“I like you because you’re a scaredy cat, thank you very much,” he corrects you immediately, “I love the way you always need me to protect you. I know, I know — not very feminist of me. I’m sorry. It’s just- it’s really fuckin’ cute, y’know?” now that his floodgates have opened, he’s pouring out all the words he’s held back for so long, “And besides, you’re more than just a scaredy cat. You’re also so smart, so beautiful, so funny. Yeah, you scare easily, but you’re also the same person who is the first to put me in my place when I’m being an absolute little shit. And don’t even get me started on all the cute faces you make when you’re talking about things you actually like, or when you’ve been baking with Nance and have flour all over your cheeks-“ 
“Okay, okay,” you stop his rambling before he can embarrass you any further. Any more affection, and your face might end up buried in his shoulder again, “I get it. You like me.” 
It’s quiet for a few moments. The two of you only stare, both smiling stupid, the screams of whatever climax occurring in the movie not even reaching your ears. All you can hear is the echo of his words, of his admission. And all he can hear is the pretty way your breath catches when he gives a small squeeze to your palm. 
It’s nice. It should be more anxiety inducing, it should be more dramatic. Eddie Munson should be absolutely losing his mind right now because he just kissed his best friend he’s been in love with for ages, but he isn’t. Actually, for the first time in a while, it feels as though he’s finally found it — he’s found his mind, he’s found his peace as he’s staring at your shy expression. It just feels right. Like a sigh of relief from the Universe. 
“I like you, too,” you break the silence, unable to meet his gaze, “I mean, you probably already got that, but-“
“Say it again.”
“Huh?”
“I did gather that, but my God, please say it again.” 
Your eyes meet him, and another piece clicks into place. 
Right. It’s so fucking right.
“I like you,” you repeat yourself, a smile beginning to dance on your lips. He can’t help himself — he leans forward and pecks the corner of your upturned mouth, “I like you,” the repetition is music to his ears as he plants a second kiss on your cheek, “I like you, Munson.” 
His peppered kisses mark every inch of skin available to him, making giggles begin to escape you. You even try to hide from his onslaught, but it’s no use. He’s quick to drop your hands and wrap his arms around you, tugging you in close and trapping you against him as each kiss grows more obnoxious. Loud smacking sounds, deliberately leaving spit behind that has you squealing. It’s nothing like the squeaks from when you were watching the movie; these small noises are filled with a little more joy, a little more happiness that only fuels Eddie.
“Eddie!” you try to scold, placing two hands on his solid chest, “Oh my God, stop it. You’re gross.” 
“You love it,” he mutters with his mouth fully pressed to your temple, nose buried in your hair. That sweet, sweet shampoo intoxicating him.
You like him. He didn’t fuck it up. 
You finally go slack in his touch, succumbing and letting him place you in his lap, curled up comfortably as you sigh, “Yeah. Okay, maybe I do. Whatever.” 
“Oh, don’t act all tough now, kitty cat.” 
Your hands are curled back in the fabric against his chest and you share the wonderful ache he had been feeling in his own cheeks and bones as you look down at him with playfully squinted eyes.
When he ducks down for another kiss, you stop him easily, “Nope. First, I have a request.” 
“Anything.”
“Anything?”
“Anything. Name it, and it’s yours.” 
“Please turn off that goddamn movie.” 
He throws his head back in laughter that shoots straight for your heart. The kind of laughter that haunts a chilled autumn night as children prance the streets for candy, as teenagers get into mischief in distant bonfire parties, as elderly couples enjoy morning coffees over eerie fog. 
It kind of feels like home. It kind of feels like everything is as it should be, finally. 
“I suppose I can do that for you, my little scaredy cat,” he muses as his head tilts back forward, chest swelling with affection, “Besides, I think I know something we can do that’s a little more fun than watching the Poltergeist.” 
“Oh, yeah? And what would that be?”
His arms tighten around you as he suddenly throws the two of you to lay down on the couch, his body hovering over yours and pick necklace nipping at your chin while he reaches out to click off the TV. The weight of him between your hips feels even better than either of your wildest dreams.
Years. You couldn’t believe it had taken years for this, and neither could he. But patience is virtue, and he probably would have waited another thousand years for this feeling, truth be told. 
“This,” he says boldly once the TV buzzes in sudden silence, dipping down and continuing where the two of you left off. Two sets of lips fit together like the world’s easiest jigsaw puzzle.
It’s safe to say the rest of the night, any further squeaks and squeals you let out aren’t due to ghosts.
eddie's taglist: @capricornrisingsstuff @thisisktrying @hideoutside @vol2eddie @corrcdedcoffin @ches-86 @alovesongtheywrote @its-not-rain @feralchaospixie @cheesypuffkins87 @thebook-hobbit @babez-a-licious @eddies-acousticguitar @gagasbee @d64d-n0t-sl66p1ng @aysheashea @kellsck @cosmorant @billyhvrgrove-main @micheledawn1975 @eddiesxangel @siriuslysmoking @witchwolflea @tlclick73 @magicalchocolatecheesecake @mizzfizz @nanaminswhore @mikiepeach @ali-r3n
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lord-squiggletits · 2 months
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I think the key component to my personal reading of post-Delphi Pharma is that he's trying to be a horrible person on purpose. Not "on purpose" in the way that people have free will to exercise their own choices, but in that Pharma's "mad doctor" persona is a performance he puts on to deliberately embrace how much everyone else hates him. Basically, if people already think you're a "bad Autobot" and a horrible doctor who just kills his patients for fun, why try to prove otherwise to people who have already made up their minds about you? Just fully embrace the fact that people see you as an asshole. Don't try to change their minds. Don't plead for their forgiveness or understanding. Just stop caring. If you're going to be remembered as a monster, you might as well be a memorable monster, and eke as much pleasure and hedonism as you can out of it before karma catches up to you and you inevitably crash and burn.
I mean, I guess you could just go the route of "Oh, Pharma was always a fucked up creepy guy and Delphi was just him taking the mask off," but I really don't like that interpretation because, for one, it feels really wrong to take a character like Pharma becoming evil under duress and going, "Oh well clearly he did the things he did because he was evil all along," as if somehow Pharma breaking under blackmail/torture/threat of horrible death was a sign of him having poor moral character. As opposed to, you know, suffering under the very real threat of horrible death for himself and everyone he cares about while being manipulated by a guy who specializes in psychological torture.
The second reason is that it just doesn't make sense to write Pharma as having been evil all along. I mean...
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Occam's Razor says that the best argument is the one with the simplest explanation. Doesn't it make way more sense to take Pharma's appearances in flashbacks, his friendship with Ratchet, his stunning medical accomplishments, and the few we see of him speaking kindly/sympathetically (or in the least charitable interpretation, at least professionally) towards his patients and conclude "This guy was just a normal person, if exceptionally talented." Taking all of these flashback appearances at face value and assuming Pharma was being genuine/honest is a way simpler and more logical explanation than trying to argue that Pharma for the past 4 million years was just faking being a good doctor/person. I mean, it's possible within the realm of headcanon, but the fact is Pharma's appearances in the story are so brief that there simply wasn't room in the story for there to be some sort of secret conspiracy/hidden manipulation behind why Pharma acted the way he did in the past.
I just can't help but look at things like Pharma's friendship with Ratchet (himself a good person and usually a fine judge of character) and the fact that even post-Delphi, pretty much every single mention of Pharma comes with some mention of "He was a good doctor for most of his life" or "He was making major headways in research [before he started killing patients]" which implies that even the Autobots themselves see Pharma's villainy as a recent turn in his life compared to how for "most of his life" he "used to be" a good doctor.
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And although Pharma doesn't know this, we as the readers (and even other characters like Rung) know about Aequitas technology and the fact that it actually works, so... if Pharma really was an unrepentant murderer, why couldn't he get through the forcefield too? The Aequitas forcefield doesn't require that a person be completely morally pure and free of wrongdoing or else how could Tyrest get through, just that they feel a sense of inner peace and lack feelings of guilt. Pharma has murdered and tortured people by this point, and put on quite a campy and theatrical show of how much he sees it as a fun game, so why then can he not get through?
It circles back to my headcanon at the start of this post that the "mad doctor" persona is just that-- a persona. Delphi/post-Delphi Pharma's laughing madman personality is just so far removed from every flashback we saw of him and everything we can infer based on how other people see/saw him before that, to me, the mad doctor act is (at least in large part, if not fully) a persona that Pharma puts on to put his villainy in the forefront.
To avoid an overly simplistic/ableist take, I don't think Tarn tortured Pharma into turning crazy. To me, it's more like the constant pressure of death by horrific torture, the feeling of martyrdom as Pharma kept secret that he was the only one standing between Delphi and annihilation, the physical isolation of Messatine as well as the emotional separation from Ratchet, being forced to violate his medical oaths (pretty much the only thing Pharma's entire life has been about), etc. All of that combined traumatized Pharma to the point that the only way he could avoid cracking was to just stop caring about all of it. Because at least then, even if he's still murdering patients to save Delphi from a group of sadistic freaks, Pharma doesn't have to feel guilty and sick about doing it. As opposed to the alternatives, which were probably either going off the deep end and killing himself to escape, or confessing to what he did and getting jailed for it.
In that light, Pharma becoming a mad doctor makes sense. It avoids the bad writing tropes of "oh this character who was good his entire life was actually just evil and really good at hiding it" as well as "oh he got tortured and went crazy that's why he's so random and silly and killing people, he's crazy" and instead frames Pharma's evil as something he was forced into, to the point where in order to avoid a full psychological breakdown and keep defending Delphi, he just had to stop caring about the sanctity of life or about what other people might think of him.
Then, of course, the actual Delphi episode happens, and Pharma's own lifelong best friend Ratchet basically spits in his face and sees him as nothing more than a crazy murderer who went rogue from being a good Autobot. Then Pharma gets his hands cut off and left to die on Messatine. At that point, Pharma has not only been mentally/emotionally broken into losing his feelings of compassion, he's received the message loud and clear: He is alone. Everyone hates him. Not even his own best friend likes him any more. No one even cared enough about him to check if he actually died or not. He will only ever be remembered as a doctor who went insane and killed his patients.
So in the light of 1. Having all of your redeeming qualities be squeezed out of you one by one for the sake of survival and 2. Having your reputation and all of your positive relationships be destroyed and 3. People only know/care about you as "that doctor who became evil and killed his patients" rather than the millions of years of good service that came before.
What else is there to do but internalize the fact that you'll forever be seen as a monster and a freak, and embrace it? People already see you as a murderer for that blackmail deal you did, so why not become an actual murderer and just start killing people on a whim? People already see you as an irredeemable monster who puts a stain on the Autobot name, so why beg for their forgiveness when you could just shun them back? You've already become a murderer, a traitor, and a horrible doctor, so what's a few more evil acts added to the pile? It's not like anyone will ever forgive you or love you ever again.
Why care? Why try to hold on to your principles of compassion, kindness, medical ethics, when an entire lifetime of being a good person did nothing to save you from blackmail and then abandonment? Why put yourself through the emotional agony of feeling lonely, guilty, miserable, when you could just... stop caring, and not hurt any more?
#squiggposting#pharma apologism#i'm sure the doylist reason for the writing is just that pharma was a designated villain#so since he's a villain and 'crazy' it's fine for everyone even the good guys to treat him like complete trash#i just think from a watsonian perspective taking a sympathetic approach is way more interesting and logically consistent#what i mean is like. from a meta perspective one of the best ways to show that a character is super evil and not worth saving#is when even the good guy heroes. the ones who are supposed to be kind and compassionate and wise. see him as dirt#and this is also kind of a necessity in most plots bc TF is the kind of series that just needs action villains and long-term antagonists#so not every villain is written or has a plot to be made redeemable. and pharma is one of these bc he's not important or a legacy character#so from a doylist (meta) perspective you could read the autobots' disregard of pharma as a sign of#'this guy is not meant to have your sympathy as a reader. pay no attention to him'#but from a watsonian (in universe) perspective it paints a miserable picture of pharma being utterly forsaken by the ppl he served alongsid#and like yeah i'm super autistic about pharma so of course i view him with sympathy but like#the idea of being a loyal and good person for years only to be subjected to a Torment Nexus of#being blackmailed into breaking all of the oaths you held sacred. under threat of you and all your comrades dying horrible torturous deaths#then when your comrades find out about it they focus solely on the 'harvesting organs' and not on the 'blackmail' part#and then you get literally left for dead by your comrades and best friend hating your guts#and then you get rescued by a guy who uses you as a test subject for his evil machine#this is a fucking nightmare scenario like pharma could hardly be suffering more if the author TRIED to make him suffer#and for me it's like. the evil pharma did can't be decontextualized to what drove him to that. as well as the question of like#how easily ppl can write someone off as evil and turn a blind eye to (or even find satisfaction in) their suffering bc theyre evil#and either brought it on themselves or it's just karma paying a visit#like. i feel like if pharma WERE a shitty doctor and a terrible person his whole life then the delphi situation would feel like karma#but the way it's written and the lore retroactively put in makes it feel more pharma getting thrown in a torture carousel#and THEN becoming evil. but then being treated as if he was always evil or was some sort of bad apple#bc like i'm not opposed to LOLing when a villain gets a karmic torture/death related to the wrongs they committed#but in pharma's case it feels less like karma and more like endless torture + being abandoned by ppl who should have been more loyal
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seasicksilver · 1 month
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good old times
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lazycranberrydoodles · 10 months
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modern AU where they meet again at the fast food place Xie Lian works at and Hua Cheng has to figure out how to romance a customer service employee
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qprstobin · 1 year
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I know it would never happen at this point with only one season left and the drama already in motion but-
I wish we could've gotten a Steve and Joyce team up.
People like to use Steve's confusion to make fun of him, but honestly his self deprecating assumption that he is never the smartest person in the room lends to him being ride or die for whatever situation you might be in. Joyce was right every time before? She's probably right this time, let's go Mrs. Byers, I'll hold your flower.
Joyce goes a little bit off the rails ready to protect her sons? Steve is like alright bet, I've got my nail bat/my axe just point me wherever you need me to go. They would cause so much chaos in the span of fighting monsters/Russians/the American government. Hopper would be so fucking tired.
Like Joyce gets made fun of for being anxious and paranoid, but Steve is used to badass women who are little bit off (aka noticeably nd). Look at his best friend/soulmate/drift partner! He's honestly a little odd himself at this point, Steve doesn't care. Probably the only type of person he trusts now in situations like this.
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treasureplcnet · 6 months
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also quite obsessed with karl being as detached from the story as he is. there's nothing that makes him have to be the detective that has to be involved, but he unknowingly dooms himself by agreeing to work with the KYAL cult. every other detective basically deals with elias head on except weissman, who only meets him right before he kills him. like he's right when he says "by my choices" because everything that leads him to being mixed up with the mannix cult is himself. it's the gambling debts and the choice to do the dirty work for an organisation he knows nothing about. he's the only one that doesn't encounter that body doing police work and it's specifically because he's told to cover it up. he gets himself into the mess and eventually fixes it but the fact that esther always dies in the doomed timelines and he's always too late even if he starts wanting to change things ("till this child. esther.") it just makes me very ill
#sorry jane who heard this on her dms but now im posting it to tumblr cause im having a category 5 woman moment. AND ALTERNATIVELY:#i am also EXTREMELY obsessed with how its a time loop and the idea (so sorry tumblr user whose post i have lost and was inspired by)#weissman was just so fucking hard to deal with that they made sure that he was in their pockets. i just like the idea of the loop--#--having like. fixed points that elias would need to ensure the dystopia (body is covered up/the investigation closes/etc) but#how they get there is a slightly slower process and the earliest loops were the messiest/most unpredictable#and what we see in the show itself is like. the most streamlined version over hundreds of loops and attempts#so karl specifically. lonely that he is and determined to survive. AND with a cruel streak against people he doesn't like#kept nearly blowing their operation so they began to incorporate him in it instead#there's also another tragedy in there if /esther/ is what they realise works best against him..#just love and kindness for a girl that weissman comes to see as family and they immediately exploit it after learning during an early loop#im ignoring specific plot points here (polly seemingly panicking when esther shows up at the station) but I DO NOT CARE.#THERE'S ANGST HAPPENING RN. IM CREATING SCENARIOS TO HURT ME#now if i could write coherently this would be written as a fic but im stuck writing too long textposts#karl weissman#bodies 2023#bodies netflix#sorry to the other detectives. weissman in particular is my babygirl who i devote most of my brainpower to#personal
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chirpsythismorning · 1 year
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For the last 24 hrs I’ve been trying to find the real motel from that production assistant’s s4 bts pic…
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 9 months
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More silly MXTX polls to mull over for the week:
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frodo-with-glasses · 5 months
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So uh. I might’ve found a pattern here.
From The Fellowship of the Ring, “Three Is Company”:
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From The Two Towers, “The Uruk-Hai”:
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From The Return of the King, “The Houses of Healing”:
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Now I know Tolkien hated allegory. And I know LotR is not a copy-and-paste parable about WWII (which he didn’t fight in) or even WWI (which he did). But the man did see war, and so did people he loved, and he had a non-zero amount of trauma, and some of that is gonna make its way into his writing somehow.
And I think his soul might’ve had something to say about soldiers being forced to walk until they dropped from exhaustion.
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uncanny-tranny · 9 months
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It's really frustrating being trans sometimes with cis loved ones because other cis people will go, "oh but it's such a huge adjustment for them! They're grieving for your pre-transition self/they aren't used to the change yet/it's hard on them!"
It's just so frustrating that people forget that trans people's feelings on this matter, too. Cis people aren't the only ones who have adjustments to make. Frankly, as much as I sympathize with cis people in this position, I can't help but be really jaded about it because so often, cis people jump to the defense of other cis people and they will seemingly forget to or refuse to give the same grace to trans people.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#like at what point is it 'they aren't used to it yet!' and it morphs into 'that person is actively refusing to acknowledge you'#i'm at a point now where i have been out as trans for half my life. at what point is this willfully refusing to see *me*#it's just amazing that it doesn't matter what the trans person could do because it's their fault for bringing 'burden' onto cis people#i UNDERSTAND that it can be hard for family for instance to flip a switch with their trans loved one...#...but i can't help but notice that so often it's because they *refuse to try*#why is it that cis people can do almost anything to trans people but trans people must be perfectly understanding and perfectly...#...content with whatever cis people in our lives have to say about how hard it is on THEM...#...like that's insulting to me. imagine being so willfully incompassionate...#...i'm worried about if i'm safe in my own workplace or in my gym or in a medical setting...#...i feel like we need a sense of scale about who is most affected by transness in this scenario...#...because i would RATHER be grieving over somebody's transness than worrying if i'll be hatecrimed...#...there's a difference in the experience between a trans person and the cis people in that trans person's life learning to adjust to...#...that person's transness. which is why i don't think it's comparable to say that cis people have it just as hard in this case#transphobia#transphobia tw
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purplink8 · 2 months
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Hate to burst anyone's bubble but I don't think L would've revealed his face to Light if the latter wasn't Kira. The Kira case was the only case in which L shows his identity to anyone besides Watari because it's the first time he (and his authority) has been challenged like this (with the majority of the Japanese task force leaving since they can't trust L coz of the FBI incident).
If Light weren't Kira and went on to become an NPA officer like his father, he might work with L on some cases together but that doesn't mean L would've revealed his identity to him, however intelligent this particular NPA officer may be.
Like I ship Lawlight very much and I'm not (in this post, that is) referring to anyone exploring the idea of non-Kira!Light with L in their AUs as bad (I like those AUs too), but let's remember that it wouldn't be plausible if we're going by canon. Even if Ohba said somewhere that they'd work together if Light weren't Kira, I'm sure he didn't mean working together as in face-to-face.
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evankinard · 25 days
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hear me out kitchen scene is literally going to be eddie going over to buck's to let him know him and marisol broke up and hes going to be like lmao guess we're both single now still want to go go karting 🤪🥰🥳!! and bucks going to be like... about that...
@chronicowboy and I were literally discussing this exact scenario a week ago (minus eddisol break up lmao) but legitimately. legitimately I think there is a very very high chance of this happening. specifically a callback to the go karting and eddie trying to make time for buck only for buck to be like oh. I actually have plans. with tommy. and coming out to eddie
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queenofallimagines · 2 months
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Hiori yo x black reader
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(A/N): was literally complaining bc like how is he black but there’s NO black readers??? But I found out who’s clogging up the blue lock tag😒And then I realized I can do it my fucking self lmao. HC him as Nigerian bc like we’re never gunna get any cultural background info on him bc they never tell us about the parents(unless it’s central to their backstory and even then they’re the main characters not their parents.) so I’m making up my own lore✨ his dad is Nigerian who immigrated to Japan and hiori very rarely sees his dads side of the family bc they live elsewhere and his parents don’t care about him knowing family he’s supposed to be their trophy
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Hiori yo:
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- okay so boom
- This happens in his blue lock era obviously
- His parents rarely let him play w kids bc he was always training if you peep in the manga
- Only has some idea of some form of cultural heritage
- He was blessed cursed with only his mothers genetics so looking more like her has him skirt around a lot of that racism
- He probably makes friends with all the other mixed kids but gets viscerally uncomfortable when he sees them getting micro-aggressed
- Makes him think twice about showing up to school with his hair not styled like his mom
- Spends 90% of his time gaming anyway so like he doesn’t have to go outside
- When he runs away to blue lock life starts to have color
- I think post U-20 arc he spends those two weeks at home hanging out with karasu because he’s not gunna let him sit inside and rot around his shitty parents for two weeks
- Karasu definitely introduces you to him
- You were one of his friends from school he used to chill with and he’s like you would be good for hiori
- Karasu 100% condones your bad influence like lmao he wants to see hiori be a MENACE to society
- He’s smirking in the background as you bring his inner ultra sadist out
- He messes up your hair and will laugh when you get mad
- “stoooop iiiiit you’re messing up my hair!”
- “aww does the princess not like their hair being touched?”
- “Not when I took a long time to do it this morning!”
- Will immediately get flustered if you say you like his hair
- hide the flat iron from him!!
- I feel like he’s lowkey insecure about usually being like the only black kid in the room
- And he speaks in a different accent than a lot of them?
- Yeah pack it up!
- *he doesn’t really think much of his appearance. he thinks he looks okay and he isn’t really confident about his skin complexion. he isn’t dark skin but he isn’t light skin either.*
- His chat Ai gave me that unprompted so it’s canon now sorry :/
- Yknow how boys will say the most traumatic shit out of nowhere?
- “do you really think that I’m pretty? even my skin complexion and everything?”
- “I sure do! Anyone who says differently is a colorist racist loser . There’s nothing wrong with you or your completion. Like you’re one of the only people who made me feel welcomed here are you fr?”
- Karasu is glaring at you though for having him make pale people jokes.
- He’s very lowkey about how snake like he is so he’s the “you can’t say that shit in public!” Friend, while you don’t care about getting cancelled😭
- “but please don’t let anyone the shade of printer paper make you feel bad about your melanin beloved.”
- “The snow roaches are usually too scared to try something because I’m tall:/“
- “WE ARE IN A CONNIVENCE STORE PEOPLE CAN HEAR YALL”
- he’s trying his best really but he’s just one crow😔
- Don’t let tea about his parents make it back to your ears bc it’s really on sight for that man AND that snow bunny 😡
- “Does your dad ever like talk to you about his culture?? does he say anything outside of trying to make you into some star striker??”
- Mf just shrugs his shoulders.
- “not really. my parents don’t care about anything other than my success. they don’t care about my happiness or how i feel..”
- “Yo, baby ….. imma beat your parents ass😐 is your dad Nigerian? Bc that feels like textbook immigrant parent behavior.“
- “……. I REALLY don’t like how you knew that.”
- “My next guess would have been Guyanese.”
- Hes giggling tho bc I don’t think he really talked shit about his parents w nobody like REALLY really
- Just watching them fight 24/7 as a kid took a toll on my poor baby soul IK
- Spoiler for his backstory but I mean not really??
- His parents saying that if he didn’t become the best they would get a divorce made my jaw hit the stairs of hell
- ““you really know a lot about this kinda stuff?,,,,but yeah, nigerian parents are hella strict. they expect high grades from us and if we don’t reach those high grades, we’re basically disowned..”
- See me personally I have tattoos, colored hair and piercings and my mom fresh off the banana boat carribean
- “Like Dr umar said “you will be never get freedom unless you take it” It’s like a hostage situation!”
- “Is that how you have them long ass acrylics?”
- “….I took it😙”
- He will never bring you home bc you’re always 5 mins from punching his mom in the mouth and he really cannot handle that especially when he’s gone 24/7 in blue lock and can’t talk to you
- They don’t know you but know you’re a bad influence so they hate you from afar
- Very pro “traumatize your parents back” and karasu right there w you
- He’ll he can even scoop up yukumiya to be on demon time👀
- “hit em with the “what if I stop soccer?” And they have nowhere to run but just sit there seething because they need you.”
- “Right the cards are in your hands.”
- “…..Respectfully love, you’re a whole ass delinquent and karasu you’re a scammer. I’m not taking advice from people with active warrants😐”
- Now back on my bullshit
- He be so fine when he use metavision
- Like he knows that if he glances over at you during one of his games he’s gunna find you squirming in your seat
- Looks at you after he scores a goal every time and flashes you that shit eating grin
- Win or loose he’s getting his dick wet!!
- Have a safe word
- He’s never gunna try to push you past your limits in a way that will hurt you
- Buuuuut he is pretty mean
- Imagine that cute innocent looking face smiling down at you with his round doe eyes
- Calling you a dumb slut
- Man is a menace and probably gets a higher sex drive the more he fucks
- Not even out of like lust overtaking him he just will be randomly thinking about how he had you on your knees in this very locker room before
- And now feels the strong urge to split you open on his cock
- It’s fun for him like a game
- And he always wins
- Only way you can get him is to outsmart him but like that’s once in a blue moon so good luck Charlie😅
- Mans is 6”1 so he’s effortlessly manhandling you and giggling at how much your body is screaming for him
- “Shit, ya keep squeezing me like that and I won’t be able to pull out.”
- Again because he dosent have a high libido as a carnal thing certain NORMAL shit will set him off
- Like you was talking about the weather now he has you bent over the couch??
- Nicknames would be one
- You call him blueberry and he’s ready to go
- The cute look on your face and the smile he can see that’s reserved for him
- The way he can same the hearts in your eyes when you look at him
- He wants to ruin you and make you cry
- Edging is his go too thing
- Will do it until your grabbing at his hands begging him to let you come and he’s laughing his ass off
- “Why? ‘S real funny seeing you this pathetic.”
- He’s very mean in that soft sweet condescending way that pisses you off
- “Ow! Yo that hurt!”
- “Mmm, don’t care.”
- Bites you all over like you’re a chew toy
- Feel like he’s tied with rin and shidou for leaving marks
- He’s a cheeky little bastard so he will have you in public looking like a mess and he couldn’t be more innocent standing right next to you
- “You good?”
- “Yeah,karasu I’m fine.”
- “You sure because you’re limping right now.”
- And this fucker is there like ☺️☺️☺️
- Weakness is distracting him while gaming
- He’s very whiney if you suck him off while he’s gaming and has vc on
- Like he’s barely holding back his whimpers and wines as you’re head is buried between his thighs
- (Rin , nagi and him def game like I know they play Minecraft together)
- “Oi, hiori you okay? You’ve been pretty quiet.”
- “M good.”
- He is fighting for his sanity!!
- Has locked the door a few times to keep you out
- Accidentally left the mic on when he thought the coast was clear and came HARD
- Rin will never EVER bring that shit up and is taking that secret to the grave
- Does get flustered when he sees you and hiori not-so-subtly sneaking off to have your hands all over each other
- Keeps that memory square in the back of his head to jack off to
- Hiori Yo is a very sadistic man with a lot of confidence
- So he has absolutely no qualms about fucking you in front of his teammates in the locker room
- Oh, the team walked in on him blowing your back out? Nothing is stoping them from showering and changing
- Shares you with isagi like that’s just what happens
- He wants to see the egoist be mean to you
- This has happened more than once and bastard München straight up knows if he’s nowhere to be found when they are heading back to the locker rooms
- He’s in there making you cry on his cock
- “Cmon, tell em how much you like creaming around my cock dollface.”
- Particularly of Kaiser is kicking attitude he’ll glare at him while you’re on your knees and dare him to try something
- Oh he don’t care about doing it in the pxg locker rooms either
- Shidou has unfortunately walked in on him sitting beside you on the ground pushing your head down so you can take Rin’s cock even deeper
- “Ne, Rin-Chan. Look at how I can see you in their throat.”
- Hiori if anything isn’t going to play by the rules or be fair about it
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lazycranberrydoodles · 6 months
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through a cruel twist of fate, the brocade immortal escaped again!! and now it is ESSENTIAL to the PLOT that they wear maid dresses. follow for more clownery <3
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HUA CHENG IS NOT TAKING THE MAID ROLEPLAY SERIOUSLY!!! relatedly go read the practical use of good stamina by @fullmetalpotterhead its hilarious
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