#fixing broken childhoods

[stevesbipanic]

After Steve and Eddie had been a couple for a little while and friends for longer they inevitably talked about their shit childhoods and even shitter dads. They made a promise to each other that if they ever had kids they wouldn't go through that and the kids they did have now would always have good childhoods monsters be damned. But something was still missing inside them, something still broken.

Which is why the list was created. Taming centrestage on their fridge in their little apartment, surrounded by Polaroids and pictures drawn by the kids. A list of all the things they wished they could've done as kids, things they could now do together, to patch that broken part.

It started with simple things, being told I love you, saying you were proud, hugs, soft kisses. It had silly things like bedtime stories and playing catch, and bike races. There were seasonal things, jumping into piles of raked leaves, flower crowns, snow angels.

Which lead them to here.

"Eddie!"

After facing real life monsters, hearing someone yell your name got you moving quickly. Eddie slid into the living room where he had heard Steve call out.

"Fuck, what's wrong Stevie!?"

"It's snowing!"

Eddie took a deep breathe trying to get his panic under control. Outside small flurries were falling.

"Fuck I thought you were dying, baby."

"Sorry, but I got excited. Do you think there will be enough to play in tomorrow?"

Eddie smiled at his boyfriend, the list had certainly helped Steve get excited over small things again.

"I don't know, sweetheart. We should get to bed soon so we can wake up early to check."

Steve had woken Eddie up many different ways since they started dating. Coffee, sound of bacon, breakfast in bed, sweet kisses and some other ways that he'd never tell the kids. All of those things were a lovely way to wake up. This morning was not one of those ways. Steve had gotten up as soon as dawn had broken, getting out bed to check outside, seeing a thick layer of snow. In his excitement he had turned and jumped on top of poor Eddie.

"Oof, angel I love you but I've already had one near death experience and as hot as you are I don't wanted to be crushed to death by you."

"Not what you said last night but sure, but Eddie there's so much snow!"

Eddie let himself be pulled out of bed by his giddy boyfriend and wrapped in warm clothes, being dragged outside into the snow. Steve giggled letting go of his hand turning around and landing in the snow immediately starting a snow angel. The cold was already started to colour their cheeks and Steve had never looked more beautiful to Eddie, completely carefree.

When Steve started shivering from the early morning, Eddie pulled him back inside for a warm breakfast, listening as Steve excitedly called the party over to play in the snow that afternoon.

Together they made more snow angels and staged an epic snowball fight.

"You can't kiss me as a distraction, Eds"

"If that's so then why did it work."

They ended their day with a snowman making competition. The kids were trying to recreate Steve, he'd told them they couldn't steal his sweater but gave them his scarf instead, they were currently trying to find the right sticks and leaves for his hair.

"No no no, we need more leaves it's not swoopy enough!"

"Dustin, those leaves aren't the right colour these sticks are!"

Steve laughed as he finished off his creation.

"Stevie, baby is that me?"

"Does the stick guitar give it away?"

"It's perfect, sweetheart."

Once everyone was too cold to stay out any longer, eventually Steve's mother instincts kicked in worried about them catching a cold, everyone crashed in the little living room. Steve made a big pot of hot cocoa and they all settled down to watch a Christmas movie.

There on the fridge, was one more thing crossed off for two men finally allowed to be boys.

#stranger things #stranger things s4 #steve harrington #st4 #eddie munson #steddie #stranger things season 4 #chistmas #winter #fluff #ficlet #steddie ficlet #let the boys be young #fixing broken childhoods

[alilaro]

they look fucking DISGUSTING. i am in love with them

#furby #furby baby #furby 1998 #safe furby #also yes i did buy them yes they are probably a bio-hazard i do not care #furbys have rekindled my old childhood love of electronic tinkering; and i have a HUGE soft spot for toy repair #ive always been obsessed with taking old/broken/abandoned toys and fixing them up and giving them a home #and furby is filling that niche so well #I AM FULFILLED IN LIFE #im so in love with these guys the before/after will be so good #i can tell all of them except the second to the left #it looks like a snowbell but the fur looks way too long?? maybe its just fucked up?? idk lmao #*edit: i looked at some close ups and its deffo snowy she's just been through some crazy shit LMAO

[androgynouspenguinexpert]

HE CAN DO BOTH

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redactedverse #art #illustration #redacted blake #yandere #i can never draw blake right but i think i've nailed it this time #a lot of very talented and edible (affectionate) artists draw blake as a tall dark n handsome fellow #and i'm here for it #but my take on this asshole is that he's a wolf in sheep's clothing right #because he's still a childhood (teenhood?) friend #and a massive dork #i find it super fun to make friendly characters look intimidating rather than the other way around #dont get me wrong who doesn't love an i can fix him #imo blake is a good (*) person who has been broken into enough pieces to start doing very bad things #if he wasn't a nutcase he would be such a golden retriever #hence the blond #it's cute #HE'S cute

[soliloquent-stark]

y'all it's my sweetheart's birthday today 🥹💗

#and she's currently sleeping next to me in my childhood bed in my childhood home in my country that i haven't been in three years #for... reasons #conveniently the same room i was in when we first texted each other a decade ago and #same room we slept in after she spent the money she earned working two jobs as a teenager and travelling for over 24h to come meet me #the same room i came out to my mum in #the same room we fell in love many lifetimes ago #the same room i studied in and cried in and fought with my mum in and hid from my parents in and now it's #sweet memories rewriting all the ugly #trying to make sense of my childhood again and fix the broken cracks and she's here for me though it all #and she's the best person in the whole world and it's a privilege for anyone to be her friend but to feel the depths of her love like i do? #it's like being under the warm sun every single day #except the sun is an insanely gorgeous hilarious selfless and intelligent woman #and she chose me 🥹 #whinysteve the resilient woman you are. tumblr would not handle your life story #but they're extremely lucky to have you on here ❤️

[goatpaste]

gets so fucking sad remembering Lucy Steel isnt my oc and actually has a canon story of experiencing seven layers of deep disturbing trauma in the span of a few months at age 14

#what do you mean Lucy didnt travel with two broken adults who learn to grow as people n learn to love life again because they care about her #and that she doesnt have a systems of adults in her life that she can rely on #what do you mean Lucy Steel was handed shit by everyone from one end of the coast to the other as everyone treats her like an adult #what do you mean Lucy story isnt about an eldest daughter in a world trying to take her childhood from her #but the adults around her who have already lost their childhood dont want to repeat the cycle with her #i hate to act like whatever my retwrite is a perfect rewrite that does everything right and fixes everything or is even good #but fuck dude cant be worse than canon sbr

[weebsinstash]

so with a platonic yandere (or yanderes) how does it work, do you just never get the chance to have a romantic relationship, do they force/encourage you into one with someone 'approved' like a family friend or someone 'in the know' sort of thing, or do their feelings change or border on the romantic side as well?

Well, I find for me personally it often depends on the character themselves for like, what kind of relationship im looking for, or, yeah sometimes i just switch it up based on concept, sometimes i get a real specific idea that stays in my brain and I can go back and forth depending on, I guess, preference. It's kind of a recent-ish development for me to think of platonic yandere AT ALL since like 99% of the time my brain goes "well if they don't love you romantically or want to fuck you what is THE POINT"

And it kind of took me a while to realize that sometimes "the point" of platonic yandere can be that they technically "don't get anything back". If they scoop you up and force therapy on you, it's because they want to legitimately help you, not to say a romantic/sexual yandere wouldn't, but for a platonic one it's more I guess "selfless" because they aren't like, getting a spouse or a fuck buddy out of it. With a platonic yandere, they don't want you to hook up with that guy because, yeah they're jealous you're not spending time with THEM but its like, spending time watching movies or going to the park or playing video games, spending time with you as you, doing potentially anything, but also they have you up on this pedestal and the guy is just an insignificant little worm to them. He thinks he can date THEIR sister? Creep creep go to jail eat dirt go six feet under here's a shovel start digging

I can be so moody and contextual about the whole thing, like for example, I've been making a lotta posts about a purely platonic yandere Batfamily with Bruce as you know the patriarch and all that, basically becoming a father figure to you even if you're already an adult, where he is like emphatically "no, Reader is your sibling, S I B L I N G" and getting out the batbottle and spraying them like cats any time he may notice anyone in his house catching feelings for you, but i also thought about, (this is kind of an AFAB specific idea sorry) what if Damian specifically developed one of those weird "big sister when i grow up im gonna marry you" complexes and Bruce is NOT having it when suddenly Damian hits him with "but FATHER, if I'M Reader's husband when I come of age, then our offspring will be YOUR biological grandchildren" and Bruce finds himself sitting there suddenly vividly picturing you holding a fat little newborn with a big head of black hair and smiling up at him "dad come hold your grandson 🥰" and he's. He's gone, like, suddenly he can't see it any other way. OBVIOUSLY Damian is the perfect husband for you, Bruce is helping raise him? Who would make a better spouse for his adopted daughter than his ACTUAL son? Talk about keeping it in the family

In his eyes, his son would make a more than competent husband once he comes of age, especially considering not only is Damian his son but, extremely similar to Bruce himself; broody angsty genius with superhuman skills, intelligence, athleticism, etc. And if not Damian, isn't Dick lowkey his favorite child, and also, you know. Already an adult and not nearly as emotionally constipated 😅 Bruce can trust either one of them to take care of you, building off of a paranoia that any place outside his family and his home is fraught with danger and anyone who hasn't been explicitly vetted by him suddenly cannot be trusted in your presence

I keep finding myself drifting back to platonic yandere but only in like, almost extremely specific circumstances, like for real those age regression ideas i realized are coming from like DEEP places of trauma and rejection for me and feeling like I'm so permanantly damaged i literally need a do over and need to be all but remade from scratch, being helped when i was younger and at my lowest points in childhood, and I'll admit I've noticed most of these platonic yandere ideas usually revolves around aspects of family, fatherhood, childhood, etc. Like literally right off the top of my head, two characters who kind of got the platonic yan ball rolling were Stolas from Helluva Boss and Nolan Grayson from Invincible, both of them fathers. Of course I would absolutely let Nolan tear this ass up too though as you guys have seen, like i find the Viltrumite Reader concepts kind of keep fluctuating between "he wants to mentor you and then catches feelings" to "no he just wants to be your dad and Viltrum mentor and after your real family dies during some kind of monster attack he just straight up adopts you and moves you into his house and the government lets him bc, i mean, they need to keep an eye on you as a Viltrumite"

Of course I also like the idea of sort of a middle ground. You know, like, the yandere begins purely platonic without any sort of intentions but it develops into something deeper after they've already come to know you and you trust them, or even, they're actually totally 100% "a normal person" and something happens to you or them where they suddenly become yandere. Like imagine you know someone for like a couple years and then all of a sudden, they're acting differently. So I've also thought about, Bruce and Reader are work friends in the Justice League and his feelings begin as purely protective and platonic and he knows you for a decent chunk of time but when he starts getting to know you more personally, more details about you the person under the costume, maybe he eventually realizes he's getting extremely jealous watching you interact with other men and, maybe in the process of taking care of you his feelings change. You get wounded on the job and you don't have any family to help provide any care while you're still extremely weak and recovering and he's helping you and that's when he suddenly realizes "oh shit this line of work is so dangerous, he doesn't want you to die, he doesn't want anyone to die but like you most specifically, he doesnt want you doing this anymore" and maybe he brings you to the manor for recovery and you never wind up leaving

But typically yes, as you suggested, usually when I've picked a character to be a platonic yandere it's because I can see them being overly protective to the point they won't let you date at all, even if the specific reasons for WHY may change. Like hypothetically for some of the ideas I've had, Stolas doesn't want you to date or have sex period because he's kind of Goin Through Some Shit and this is kind of like his second go around of being a dad and him expressing some sort of trauma or guilt over Octavia and he sees you as His Extra Special Little Girl and you don't get so much as a kiss on the cheek with another person until like, he's had enough years with you to be satisfied with "your childhood" kwim. Or a yandere who declares themselves as your sibling not completely against you dating or all that but they just have EXTREMELY high standards. like lmao imagine, like, someone like Deku basically inserting himself in your life as your brother and you're like "ok fuck dude, who do you think WOULD be worthy of dating me" and he's just like "I guess someone like All Might!" Like bro that platonic obsessive little twink is NEVER letting you get laid, you suck off ONE dick and he's holing up in his room CRYING because "someone's defiled his baby sister and made her dirty" not in the sense that he like doesn't like you anymore or he's judging YOU but in his mind your "purity" has been tainted by someone else and the only solution is to like, kill/get rid of that person and "atone" by never letting it happen again, cause obviously by letting you suck that guy off Izuku FAILED YOU, and maybe at some point he snaps and you wake up from one of your mandatory sibling cuddle sessions and he's pressed way too closely to you as he declares he's the only one worthy of you and he's sorry he didn't realize HE'S the husband you needed

Really I'm just a creepy little freak and it can depend on how I'm needing or craving to feel accepted in that particular moment in time 😅

#GOD am i on this batman justice league shit so hard #i grew up with shows like teen titans and spiderman and jla #like god if yall follow my main blog weve been discussing how i probably have a cluster b personality disorder #and ive felt. so extremelt sad and broken. bc those can form from early childhood trauma #so lmao i keeo finding mysekf drift8ng back to thise age regression ideas where. i get fixed #i either get the care i needed as a kid or i get completely reset back to before anything ever happened #and raised in you know. a questionably psychotic protective little bubble #i have issues and apparently i will always have issues lmaoooi #yandere stuff #sinprompts

[swearingcactus]

sometimes i think about bby little v back when he was not just v but vincent, but names don’t matter when you’re just another orphan in Heywood, who was still figuring out how to navigate living in night city, who haven’t got a good radar on people he can trust yet so he sometimes get beaten up about it, and i shake my fist at the sky

#a week after this he gets his nose broken so bad he had to get his entire sinus system fixed #slaps top of his head THIS BAD BOY WONT REMEMBER MOST OF HIS CHILDHOOD! #lil guy v #i drew this tag #this was supposed to be just a wip but im too sad about him to actually draft the entire comic idk #maybe i will anw

[713-4th-ward-g]

.

#fucking swear i hate my dad so much #I'll never forgive him for how he was when i was a child #and right when i was starting to see him as a decent dude #he goes and acts like a child #youre 54 years old and raising your voice at me when i did nothing wrong #his stupid ass was the one who cut the pvc pipe and he thinks me telling him how to properly fix it is me criticizing him #and i told him you want me to criticize you ? fine. why were you cutting below the water lines to the washer? #theres clearly an opening showing the pvc pipe and you were the one who cut there still knowing it was there so why did you do it ? #you want me to criticize ill fucking criticize #all he has to say while screaming at me like im the one who created the problem saying shut the fuck up an go to sleep i dont want you here #he gives a stupid bullshit fix for it talking about using glue 😮‍💨 like dude you need pvc primer and glue to seal it correctly not fucking #elmers glue and tape wtf i was giving him an actual real option to fix it and he cusses me out like im the one who cut the damn pipe #i tried writing in my journal but my hand keeps cramping up #i cant stand how much of a child he is #he has no emotional control he takes his anger out of my mom and i and i fucking hate having to be the one to back away and apologize #when its his fucking issue not mine he was the one raising his voice when all i did was give him sound advice to fixing the broken pvc pipe #and i get cussed at and screamed at being told im criticizing when all i did was offer a solution to his own fucking problem he made worse #on his own accord and now hes breaking shit and kicking doors and slamming them all the while cussing over something #that can be fixed its cool to be like fucking shit i fucked up and get that energy out but to fucking throw a temper tantrum and break stuff #is fucking ridiculous it fucking takes me back to my childhood and how fucking horrible he was to my sister and i.. #we walked on eggshells around him cause any little thing would make him erupt into anger and physical bouts... #lord forbid he has to do something around the house and he breaks something he will cuss and scream at us for no reason like we did it #but im in the one who has to apologize thats fucking bullshit #i really want to kill myself rn im so over the edge rn i just keep thinking of my mom and why i cant kill myself yet #not until she passes away i cant kill myself.. #i long for the day i die im so tired of living here

[piplupod]

i would pay.... an exorbitant amount of money to just be normal. just. so much money. bc then i could work and make it all back eventually. and i could have friends properly instead of barely interacting except once every few days for like three mins before i disappear again bc i get tired and afraid. idk what normal means exactly but i am so tired of being like this. i just want to feel like a person who is allowed to interact with other people :|

#okay im going to be quiet now i think sorry thats the last one for tonight i hope #im just tired. this sucks. im tired of feeling like everyone else has smth i dont #everyone has this spark or smth. im missing smth integral. im not allowed to interact w ppl almost ever bc of it #i just cannot be a person fsjkl i am not human or smth idk im just so fucked up i think. wish i could fix myself !!!!!! #but unfortunately i dont even know what exactly is broken bc theres So Much thats wrong w me fhgjkl #would've needed like... an actual childhood and parents i guess if i wanted to not be like this. ell em ay oh. oh well #oh wait actually this gives me an idea for something. worldbuilding not like. crisis actions dsjkl #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

[katyspersonal]

warning for: "bad wording", "unasked opinion", "another coward hiding behind anon mask"

I think you should stop looking for an ideology/side to pick and consider trying to pick your own side, attempt learning to become your own person instead—give up on fitting into any cult anything? Honestly, why don't you try to build your own thing? You seem capable of building so much of theories, finding so much of little details not many could ever notice—why not use this skill to help yourself? I get it. Many humans do not like making efforts. I'm one of them. Sometimes becoming your own person = doing a lot of efforts, but it is not a hard work it is just making efforts, day by day, baby steps, it is possible, it is valid—even if right now it might seem as "not very likely" or "hopeless" or "meaningless" in your personal case. I do not judge you. I'm trying to tell you that creating your own identity, a personality is possible. Speaking from a lil anon experience, so far I haven't found any other solution except trying to learn how to rebuild yourself into yourself from a scratch and "broken remains". You can't get rid of every single shitty influence but you can take control of it, its traces and make something of your own. You can do anything, if you want...but you don't want it, do you? I do not know you (and you don't know me), all I got is an opinion to make out of your post, I bet it's mostly wrong, I should have stayed silent, heh. I think you'll be less miserable if you stop running away from yourself by seeking yourself in people, groups and fandoms. And I do not mean it in way like "quit social media they are evil they are brainwashing you into becoming something you are not", if anything I do not believe in "good" and "evil" nor in "black and white", because this life has much more of colors and hues in the store to offer. "Balancing it out" is what I was trying to tell. Please try to help yourself. I think you deserve to live and have good things in your life. My opinion matters very little because I'm just another coward, but I mean it.

Hey, this is actually a very good message. It took me some time to get to it because currently I genuinely am better off sinking in my special interest and drawing than tackle anything personal. But this is a good advice, especially for someone who had to judge my character off very limited information. (or maybe I am oversharing way more than I think I do...?)

The thing is... I DO have beliefs and ideals! It is aggressively affirming them where I fail at. Like you pointed out, I can see a lot of things no one else does and that's how I get into every character's head. But it is similar with people. Very often I will see where person is coming from, what events and information and trends made them come to this conclusion, what is their motivation, and like... You see, this is normally a deal-breaker for me. Just because I can understand why person thinks this way, see the logic and often even a valid fundament, this person passes for me - especially if I can not properly object them with logic and knowledge. I am not the type to have no logical counter-arguements and still pull the 'L + you are wrong + you are a bitch + bye' thing, because coming from emotions is not for me. For this same reason I often get trapped in abusive relationship - because when person is convincing and I have no counter-arguements for why I should not be treated this way besides crying and insulting... well, I can be convinced of deserving anything. Just ask my EX boyfriend hahaha (he healed and changed, don't worry).

This is the loop of autism. Not just any autism, but like, very pure form of it. The one that consistently pisses the allistics off enough to call us "robots" or "psychopaths". We do not 'just' understand things and not 'just' believe in things - we only do or think something if there is a reason. But at the same time, we won't "just know" a lot of things others do. There are only two things you can do - either 1) assume some unbreakable "rules" how society and people function and what is right and wrong end up being a rigid prick that judges everyone through the same lence and could never see things working unlike these "rules" or 2) say fuck it and use your own brain to navigate in the world, but you will constantly get lost. I think the latter is the lesser evil, because the former not only makes it more likely to get used as ideological soldier, but also will fuck over people that act and speak coming from different reasoning.

And you are right. I SHOULD make my own rules - not listen to some arrogant assholes claiming to be for peace and equality but We Know, and not listen to some conservatives who just can't accept that every generation will be different; but also not wander so aimlessly. I have a friend who is very similarly fucked up to me: hard autism, borderline personality disorder, burdening level of insightful, all that. And even he is self-sufficient enough to say 'Yes I see where you are coming from in your beliefs, but fuck you, that's a way of an idiot'. Another friend who has the exact same type of autist thinking as me ended up doing just what I mentioned - they set up the rules of what he believes in and refuses to budge on them no matter the stakes, even if they tend to hurt people because not even appealing to their compassion could make them budge. Like!!! you have to be literally dying for them to go easier, but even then they'll pick their principles back up and return to the discussion when you recovered.

Granted, recently I've been becoming more solid. Like recently I've blocked someone because they were using slurs in an arguement, and even before that I blocked someone I never even talked with because they were a tad too nationalist against Russians (all of them). It is just... not really like me? I tend to not mind free speech, but for some reason I've started to get more angry at such things? It is also the uh... Barb1e movie. Yeah don't laugh, trust me plenty of people ended up in existential crisis because of it. But it was something that followed when someone whose reasoning I was able to understand prior pulled the 'This movie hates men' when the movie gave men positive message that men should aspire to be self-sufficient and be themselves instead of stressing to fit into social expectations. This sort of (mis)interpretation just felt way too similar to """logic""" a certain asshole had calling me lesbophobic when I said to stop locking lesbians in stereotypes (I know you're lurking here, lil shit). It feels very obvious that anyone can be an idiot and it is not just privilege of the "woke SJWs" side but just a flaw of any human that makes their politics their personality, but sometimes it takes a certain event to make you truly SEE something, you know?

And in the end, by learning to assert my beliefs, by learning to be consistent and not just 'have' them, I will be playing this game too, no? ...somewhat. Currently I am more like Rom - I see everything but this is the reason I can't do shit. I want to be more like Djura, who knows what he thinks and will protect it, and you have to actually agree to his terms to not get shot by him! Both of these characters are 'open' and will work with people's autonomy: Rom by her barrier being penetrable if you have enough Insight, so you CAN learn horrors of the universe but only if you are looking for them so people that don't want that shit are spared, and Djura by not denying the hunt altogether but insisting that beasts that can't harm people are spared, as he tells us to go and be useful where we will be. But Djura has something Rom no longer does - personality! For me 'seeing where they come from' is a pass to forgive... literally everything? It can be a great power that will let me find what others can't and make friends no one else could, but it can also be a dangerous mindset that will trap me in abusive relationship or make me cause damage. The one thing Rom is not showing even to 99 Insight people is how there is a madman slowly destroying humanity with his ritual, isn't it so? Haha, yeah, you pointed out that I am very well-versed in analyzing fiction, but this shit legit helps me to navigate. I've been solving many conflicts and questions via "omg they're just like those characters for real". Autists interact with the world vicariously through fiction! My close friends also developed a habit of helping me by comparing the situation with something that happened in our Bloodb0rne headcanons. I am dead serious. x)

In the end, I am incapable of being ideological soldier, nor I can obey the rules based on "I am [demographic] and you are not so do what I say or you are a danger for our whole kind" (left) or "I am older/more educated and you don't know shit in life and if you don't agree with me you are just another woke zombie" (right). Of course I can't have a 'covenant' - I am an individualist! An individualist that can't assert their individuality, apparently. But there is a difference between wandering aimlessly or walking your own way..

______________________

Again, thank you for this ask.. You really should not be so hard on yourself - anons are only bad and cowardly if it is a prick being mean. Otherwise they're fine! And it was important for me to think about, too... I was not even really THINKING about how I have friends with similar thinking as me but they adapted and can be consistent and assertive. They can disagree very harshly, to the point of creating awkwardness between us until I either change my mind or admit that I have nothing to argue, and that's not emotional manipulation, but standing up.

#personal #mental health #ask replies #yeah like you said it might take eternity... #i DO feel like i am not capable of doing so much work you are right #like this is a change of character so fundamental that it won't be me anymore #because my self-confidence and wish to assert myself got broken VERY early since childhood #very consistently by a close family member for so many years #it is just hard to believe i can be fixed when 'being broken' is how i was assembled to BEGIN with #but maybe years later i'll speak differently #it is also hard to aspire to something when world is ending (wars natural disasters collapsing economics... all that) #I have decided to not make any long-term goals because i feel like humanity got only a decade left to exist at BEST

[lilgynt]

like i’ve known since forever that my mom loves my brother more but jesus CHRIST. even i can admit this is excessive

#personal #like #sorry i’m stuck at what a perfect parallel #this is to another childhood story #so context context my brother cusses my mom and i out #tells my mom i cuss too #storms out #i get my door taken off for two weeks and nothing happens to him #honest to god the story and my brother at the TIME even commented that that wasn’t fair at all #fast forward damn near a decade if not a few years over #my brother cussed me out throws stuff around then #and i know he didn’t intend to #then fucking breaks my door and door knob and i gotta shell out 100 to fix it #so the conclusion is that i ruined christmas #id rather no one ruin christmas and we just deal with each other as a family #but if we had to pass blame i’m just saying my door is broken #i’m joking about it but like #it hit me today and i just can’t do anything about it #i’m just laying in bed waiting for tomorrow and tomorrow i’ll be waiting to get in bed #and i know next holiday will be my fault again too and again again again #like my brother was trying to apologize about it and my mom was telling him #while i was locked in my room btw literally was taking off the hinges to get out #that he should blame me bc she is knowing i’m listening #and it just sucks i guess t #like who wants confirmation every five minutes that ur mom shouldn’t have a problem watching sophie’s choice but she does #and it doesn’t make sense why but she can’t watch it

[kala22]

Here’s a thought. You know how people love those characters who have trauma or are in some way broken, for example dean Winchester, klaus Hargreaves, stiles stillinski, I love them too. But these are the types of characters people say you won’t love in real life. Tell me why literally every person I’ve ever drawn into my life has been a version of them.

#klaus hargreeves #broken hero trope #character tropes #tv #stiles stilinski #time for my rant. #every body I’ve ever had an attachment to has been a version of this broken character #they all have similar childhoods #some form of substance abuse is really obvious with them #a boy I really really fell for was a walking version of klaus hargreeves #why am I always ending up with these people? my friend told me it’s because I can fix them #I don’t want to fix them at all #I’m not a person who try’s to fix anything #which is probably not a good thing either but I have this mentality where things just are what they are and there’s nothing I can do #it is what it is #if the world wants it that way then there’s nothing I can do about it #idk maybe I’m attracting them because it’s some form of entertainment to help me escape from my own shit but #idk #there has to be some reason for it #and I kinda only brought it up because i seen this pattern whenever I became friends with two people who I thought had no connection #they turned out to be both the same person and also be very close with eachother #and it was a complete mind fuck when we all realised we knew eachother

[tathrin]

Love when I discover that one of my favorite songs to sing along to, and which I sing all the time, has different lyrics than I’ve always assumed. Well done, me, very impressive. Good work.

The line is meet me on the battlefield / even on the darkest night / I will be your sword and shield / your camouflage not “your candle flame” lmao.

At least “candle flame” fits, even if it’s...rather less obvious than, yeah, camouflage, of course, that makes sense...SIGH.

#childhood it was ''we built this city on broken bones'' #not ''on rock and roll'' #will NEVER forget or be over that one because DAMN that was an epic line #little brother believed the same thing (probably because of me) and we would sing it together whenever it came on the radio rip us #worst part is knowing i will continue to sing this wrong for like five years before i can fix it in my brain ugh #songs #music #me #svrcina

[arcadian-vampire]

Stood in the kitchen for half an hour to feed The Beasts today, and I'm ready to go back to sleep for a year I think. My heart says No Thank You, you've reached your activity quota for the week, please die now immediately

#pikaposts #medical anomaly blogging #confronted some wicked childhood trauma w my therapist recently and since then he's been like yayy so you no longer feel broken right? #you don't feel like you're broken and can't be fixed right? #my brother in christ i can dislocate my kneecap while sitting still. i am so infinitely and irreparably busted dude. what do u want from me

[e-6000]

Why must I fight entropy each day, is that not the toil of the gods?

#how dare things fall apart when I am compelled to fix them simply by virtue of their being worn and broken #nothing is permanent and how dare it be so #why do we go through childhood #tumultuous and harrowing as it is #yearning for some distant ‘’adult’’ future in which everything is stable #and so much more permanent than anything we’ve had the luxury of even experiencing before #when you live your life dreaming unspoken dreams there is nobody there to warn you of their ephemerality #nobody knows to tell you that there is no silver in the moon’s bow; only dust and unforgiving stone #still beautiful in its way but a far cry from what you’d hoped #we trade our innocence for autonomy but in shaking free our chains we leave our wings behind #littletalks.txt #voidshout #anyway I’m tired.

[sepostscreencaps]

Dunkin' Panel from Soul Eater post chapter 2

#soul eater post #soul eater #manga panel #screencap #reaction image #black star #the real reason why all the hoops are broken at the basketball courts #like man I hated going to the local court back at my childhood town only to see them being broken #and then they would fix them only for the same shit to happen after a week #lol #hope Im healthy enough finally to atleast shoot some hoops even if Im too much of a cripple to ever play competively #too much information #anyways #chapter 2