#first ask im so scared help me

[queerfortress2]

transman reader x a very pathetic sniper and medic PLEASSEEE im tired of seeing them written as dominant alpha men

HELLO HELLO LETS SEE WHOS UP FIRST

*adjusting glasses* I LOVE THIS!! LITERALLY WITH YOU ON THIS ONE I WANNA DOMINATE SOME MEN (tf2 reference) let's get right into this before i make a fool of myself oh dear — mod medic! <3

TRANSMASC!READER X MEDIC + SNIPER (SEPERATE)

SNIPER

major MAJORRR bi energy from him, i just think he wouldn't mind dating a man. problem at hand i think he's so very bad at dating in general and it being man doesn't make it worse per se, but now he's just 10x more awkward

he's seen hetero dating on TV! but how does it work with another man? he's so awkward i love him...

you WILL have to make most of the moves anyway, I don't really think he's dominant I think he's like. a loser, you feel? like a loser/pos though.

very very touch starved

like if you even hold his hand i think it would be easy to fluster him hes so pathetic

upon reaction i am one of those girlies who think he would throw his hat over his face and murmur something about being 'okay' and that you were just looking at him funny

sure mundy. sure. whatever YOU wanna believe.

other than that hes super physical while alone with you, i dont think much in public but i think if you catch him really tired in bed he would cling to you like a very lanky and large koala.

dont call him out about it he will fold

all in all? i think he desires some softer lovin. like after a harsh days work of being a mercenary i think he just NEEDS it

MEDIC

hehe. guess whos my favourite mercenary

i think hes just gay. sorry even as a woman i can acknowledge thats a man who likes men

probably offered you surgery. please deny it though. like for your own safety i genuinely think its better to just keep them

flustering? mmm. i think its a little harder, especially in a dominating manner. i always see him as a little bit of a control freak, so he would be a little .. stubborn about it

not to say its impossible! because its not impossible but its hard to do!

i'd say be.. harsher with it. sniper likes that softer love i think medic (to fluster him even in the slightest) would need something more out there

PIN HIM TO A DESK, CORNER THAT MAN, FIGH—

ahem

be brash is all im saying

i think while hes working late at night its easier, he isn't expecting anything specific and at that our he probably advises you just to sleep, its only a tad bit easier to deal with him at that our, you can be a little soft with him

he will bring his up later though

not now, no, he still wants to work, but SOON. PREPARE

i?? hope?? thats okay? I DONT EXACTLY* KNOW* WHAT LENGTH MY WRITINGS MUST BE! BUT HOPEFULLY YOU'RE SATISFIED DEAR ANON, TILL WE MEET AGAIN!!!

#tf2 sniper #mod medic #sniper x reader #tf2 x reader #tf2 sniper x reader #first ask im so scared help me #..i cant format either this is my first time trying im so sorry.....

[bangcakes]

.

#personal #ladies... its lovesickness on the menu again tn NDNNDNDNDMDMDNDMDMDMDM #god help me #i made it like 29 years without this. why now NFNDNDNNDNDNDNDMD #like ok im happy to be experiencing this in the sense that like... now ik what it feels like to really like someone #but man oh man is it... A Lot #and like maybe its this intense at any age. but idk..... it feels like So Much..... #and im freaking out bc i talk to my mom about it ok. and shes like oh ya that reminds me of how i felt with ur dad in the beginning n im #just... like ... o #bc my parents were like friends first and are like in Love love and have a v happy marriage so im just #the... Potential of having that n like oh god idk. i just dont know its all too much...... #and im also like what if its all in my head. but then again like why is he waiting around for me n messaging me out of the blue. #i also caught him staring at me n looking away after i caught him. i just..... idk like i wanna Believe so bad but im so scared too........ #im all over the place JDJDDMDMDMDMDMDMDNJDND #but i also am just..... i'll be patient .... bc rushing is no good #like idk. i feel like things have been Moving. and its not super fast but its a pace i can handle #bc ok say i Do ask him out or he asks me.... then oh fuck. then all the Scary things happen. like ok not scary #i dint think itd be scary with him #but idk.... physical... things. would start happening n like. id l9ve to hold his hand n like k___ him ok OK. but at the same time i just.. #idk !!!!!!! im v shy !!!!!@@@@@ and ya. ....... idk 😭😭😭 #like i like him so much that i think id want him to .... i just .. ya idk. #getting kind of ahead of myself here but what else is new

[ark1os]

.

#i felt so good after talking to my therapist about the issue w my dad #and i didnt even come to any new conclusions or anything i just told her whats been on my mind what im struggling with and why im so afraid #to confront him and she validated me #which honestly was so new to me? like everytime italked about it it felt like people didnt see the seriousness and why im struggling so muc #with it #like Why are you so afraid of your dad. Why do you have such a hard time. Just do it . Just deal with it. girl i would if it was so easy #but she didnt react like this at all & she didnt ask anything that implied she might be thinking this way too. im v blessed alhamdulillah #she suggested to tell him that i want to wear the hijab through the phone for my own safety (which isnt an option personally but i #really appreciated the thought behind it) #and she also told me that i shouldnt do it if i dont feel ready yet to face him and its like. the first time ever someone told me this lol #she said i shouldnt put more weight on my shoulders because the situation will be a lot worse if i m not prepared #i do feel ready now though ive been dealing with this for months im just so so so scared. im so scared iwant to cry all the time #anyway. ive been sleeping much worse than usually and im waking up completely covered in sweat which is #so disgusting. i was worried that im sick or smth (cancer lol) but realised it started w ramadan!!! which is when i made up my mind when #i will talk to him #may Allah help me may Allah protect me #im about to cry again aaa

[lunarharp]

various witch stuff of the day or whatever the heck

#witch hat tag #orufrey #uhh yeah just getting some stuff out of the way haha i like the first one tho. i drew something that scares me #iguin must have been involved in qifrey's thing somehow. The Lidless eye..the sight of the world..i mean i think [redacted] #and he'll be [redacted] and [redacted] will be forced to... [redacted]???!?!!? #I want to keep my theories to myself.......or do i. not being a fandom person (other than dropping my art and leaving) means i just.. #combust inside by myself with ideas and FEARS FOR THAT MAN.....CAN SOMEONE HELP HIM IM SO WORRIED IM SO... #CAN YOU LET SOMEONE HELP YOU #apparently tetia's expression in the last one is hard to understand =.= she's emotional bc she cant believe they remembered #the twin hat idea. and that she's so happy. i was thinking about how she was probably qif's first pupil so there must have been a time #where it was just her qif and oru... i DO think she is hinted strongly to be trans but even if not her mystery background is probably so sad #why would qifrey even become a teacher? his goal was the brimhats. but he keeps being distracted by kids with problem pasts so #he must have only been drawn to help tetia out of a deep sympathy. it seems at that point he and oru had drifted apart #did oru decide to be his watchful eye hearing about that or did qifrey ask him? he thought that qif had given up on brimhat stuff so.. #*mumble mumble* lately i also keep remembering oru saying something UNREAL in kitchen like 'we're finally living under the same roof' ???? #you can't just say that. what on earth. i..... whatever. i haven't even processed like 20% of my potential emotions about them #i feel so weirdly emotional today. i stopped thinking about witch hat for zuka even tho im SO hyperfixated it is genuinely PAINFUL to stop #i stopped just long enough to watch gatsby raku.... my haachan #i'm so grateful right now that i dont have any big issues in my life rn so i can get worried about manga men and sad about actors retiring #today at least i am extremely grateful. living and being alive is so so so so weird. i hope we all make it

[hearties-circus]

Oh g-d I've been withdrawing

#gamer txt. #i keep typong up posts and tags and delstinv them withoit thinking too much about it recentlu but k never usually dp that #theyve all been needy and attention seeking and thats why i was eriting them in the first place but thats ehy i keep deleting them #because i want attention #and that scares tge hell out of me #how bad do i have to be to be this desperate for some sort of contact yet this scared of losing everyone eho moght give it to me #why am u rhis scared of people thinking im annoying ive been feleting needy posts for months thats not . like me #even when im bad im usually better than that i dont. i dont understand ahy this is different #hell i relapsed a few months ago and i couldnt bring myself to even say i cut myself again outright bc i didnt want to be bother #since when the hell have i put up the illusion of being ok on this blog why am i so comcerned #are my trust issues really that bad? am i really that worried everyone who cares about me will fold the second i inconveniene them? #g-d thats. yeah fuck no wonder my friends were insulted when i gave them a 6/10 for 'ppl i would talk to if i had issues' #that is insulting #and whats worse is that its a lie #6/10 should be over half i should tell them my problems about half of the time #i dont do it. ever #and usually thats not too bad because i unload wverything here anyways but now ive stsrted stopping kyself frkm doi g thst #i want help and attention and to stop being so svared but im too scared to ask for those #i had to drag myself out of bed to make rhis post bc if i left it till morning i wouldnt do kt #also thats why all the typos btw no glssses its dark and i stsrted crying at some point #i dont know if its just how ive been feeling lateky or if theres some truth to it but i feel like my text posts have been getting seen less #im honestly kinda really twrrified im gonna wake up and no one will have seen this post and im just gonna pretend to be ok #bevause i would i think i would really just give up #i dont know what gl do #ive never been this scaredwithout a discernable cause before #ive stsrted cryung way harder andb u dont even know why #i think i think thats more or lees everything off my chest #im gonna try to sleep

[munamania]

OH MY GOD also guys. please literally go to any amateur theater or whatever that u can near u. i went to a live performance of the it's always sunny ep where theyre doing the nightman. or whatever. it was soooooooo silly and so fun and in that room i could feel centuries of people gathering in rooms to laugh together. this is what can save humanity

#abby talks #i want them to do another one... #then we went to this sketchy weird party. well FIRST we saw one of my old buddies at the show!!!!!!! #hes gonna help w my thesis film and then he was gonna come to the party but by the time he was ready we were leaving #it was crazy me and my friends were so high and we were just in this absurd house. fucking maze ass layout #so anyway these dudes r playing mario kart. i asked my friend if there were going to be mostly straight ppl there and well that was a yes #these two dudes trailed me until i found a way to perch in a corner with my friend next to me. anyway. these dudes r playing and bring up #brba bc of course. im sorry u guys know when we talk abt that show its extremely thin ice. bc this guy is ofc hating on skylar and we're #lit all like ok misogynist like. she was just a woman living her life with an insane gaslighting husband. but he Kept his values the whole #way thru... ok. anyway hes like genuinely getting mad like we can see him take pics of us and angrily type to someone LOL and them hes just #pissily playing the game. so anyway yeah then we went back outside. then left after watching ppl do keg stands #i get so scared for college girls. literally felt like i was staring daggers at all the guys around the vibes were just off. #anyway. so fun night. #the show was genuinely amazing im so excited to see the one person in my class this week. she played mac

[wineanddineloseyourmind]

Se we know that you are currently exploring your feral side: how do you feel about being the subject of a feral out burst?

Lips pulled past sneering teeth. A long sinuous tongue coiling and writhing, waiting for a taste of your flesh. Need practically pouring from their sex, only one word pounding in their head:

BREED

BREED

BREED

No | rather not | I dunno | I guess | Sure | Yes | FUCK yes | Oh god you don’t even know |

if it answers your question, i blushed reading this ask 😳

#if im honest i actually experienced this once #it was the moment that made me want to explore this for real #it was. intense as fuck. #i was actually a bit scared of myself at the time #but i was with someone who enjoyed exploring it with me and knew a bit about using kink to get into altered states of mind #so they helped me after it was all over feel safe and ok #and it was an amazing experience! and now i feel i can access that headspace on my own with more control #but that first time. wow. that was a rush. #afterwards it felt weird to be human #my answers #send me asks #kink rating game

[sundial-girl]

hihihi

haiiiii

have this i'm sure you'll put it to good use

#ask #vocaloid #dont even ask why i had this in my files ahkjdshkhg. i couldnt think of a proper response sorry 😭😭 so iceberg meme kaito #luka's is so fitting w/ her expression tbh akjshkjghkg #aw the first one kinda reminds me of someone i know irl :0 #'LETS EAT TRYPOPHOBIA CREAM TOGETHER' HELP??? IM SCARED????

[pepprs]

mutuals i got myself into a situation so sticky i don’t even know how to describe it (edit: *describes it* lol). please send thoughts of successful escape my way lol

#purrs #delete later #i SONT understand anything about retirement or insurance whatever and basically imightve signed a contract for smth i didn’t understand #fully and im so scared lol. and i feel so bad bc im stupid and i don’t understand anything and no matter how much peopel #xolain it to me i don’t understand it. i feel like a stupid silly naive little girl rn LOLLLLL i feel so sick #it’s probably fine and not that bad and i didn’t do the wrong step but im freaking out. not just bc of the money situation but also bc they #have to do a. medical exam on me to see how much i would have to pay or whatever 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃 wtf #im making it sound like a big bad scary freak thing isigned up for when really it’s not i don’t thin&. it’s just dividend lige insirance but #i don’t understand what any of it means and apparently other stuff is better. idk anything about retirement i only got into this stupid #situation because i had a mandatory retirement selection for work and ididnt understand anything so i scheduled a meeting with a retirement #counselor person to help me figure out which option would be the best for me and he was really nice and helped me a lot but then he started #saying he could help me w additional retirement stuff if i wanted to see what the options were and i was like sure and then he told me abt t #this thing and had me fill out / sign the application in that same meeting to ‘get the process started bc it takes. a long time’ even if i d #decided to pull out later it would be a good thing to get the ball rolling asap if i did end up wanting to do it. but i didn’t understand an #anythi ng and i went along with it anyway and now i might’ve fucked myself over so bad. except i probably didn’t but i feel so bad. bc he wa #was so nice and genuine but maybe he was just trying to sell me a product bc he gets a commission from the insurance company which i he told #me wheni asked him if im getting his help for free. i feel so stupid and guilty omg #and also i signed up for my first credit card but the interest rates are really high which i didn’t realize. and i can’t log into the bank a #account for some reason liek it says my acc doesn’t work. and hr fucked up my pay so i haven’t gotten a time sheet for like 2 pay periods an #and im getting retroactively paid in august but it’s just one more fucking thing and i haven’t gotten the chance to pick new benefits yet #and idk if i can / will bc of my stupid pay situation like i literaly don’t exist in the system rn apparently. i fucking hate all of this i #hate adulting i hate it i hate it i want to explode and hide forever and cry a lot. and my bank account isn’t even my own rn and i don’t und #understand anything about mony or insurance or benefits or credit cards or anything. im so overwhelmed FUCK

[leadendeath]

0_0;

sorry to ask but if any of you guys are on non-ssri antidepressants and/or ocd meds, could you message me if youre ok with that

#only asking because i have no one irl and tumblr is comfy. i don't mean to overshare #got an appointment waaaayyy quicker than i thought it'd be (you usually have to wait weeks here for Anything at all no matter the subject) #and omg i'm talking to a specialist tomorrow... if its approved: getting medicated a couple of days later... #im so scared because i hope i'll be okay with them (the sideeffects arent too intense thank god) but so hopeful #this is the first time ever i won't be just rawdoggin life with no help no nothin #all the stuff i might be able to achieve without my brain screaming at me......

[arcaneyouth]

god i fucking hope this rover thing pays off.

#vent post #negative #i need money so bad its killing me #i have taken out a couple hundred from my savings. because i never know if i have enough money for something (i dont. ever.) #so. goodbye to my moving out funds. if rover doesnt pay off im. so. fucked. #would be easier if i could just get a fucking job wouldnt it!!! but its been like 2 years and still i have not had anyone just #walk me through the process of how that works #they just tell me 'you just apply online' and dont explain what that means and dont show me how to do it #they dont tell me how to do an interview they just assume i know how this works and i dont and i keep trying to make that clear and no one #fucking helps me #i only last week learned youre supposed to ask the interviewer questions and that you can do interviews at like. coffee shops #i have 0 fucking job experience and it is Killing Me!!!!!!!!! #i hate money!!!! i hate trying to get money in this world that wasnt built for me!!!!!! my fucking anxiety and my autism hates this!!!!!!! #not to mention im still terrified of leaving the house which is only fixed by leaving the house but i have no reason to leave the house #so i dont and i stay scared and i dont think about jobs i cant do at home and thats even worse for reasons i cant explain #i still dont know how taxes work and when thats going to be a thing i have to get a crash course on #and while im fucking trying and failing over and over to just take the first steps i have to spend money to live #money i dont fucking have #money i. do have. but thats money ive been saving since i was a kid so i could have a good start for moving out #and ive transferred 1000 of it to my card in the last few months alone. #if i dont get some solid cash from rover im just. stuck again. stuck in this stupid loop ive been in for years #i started trying to move out at the end of 2020. #ive made no progress. #.....i guess ive made a little progress. i can drive now. thats. pretty important. #and i did download rover #and other than one dumbass thing my accounts pretty much ready to go #and itll get me out of the house more and I'll get used to that more and maybe just stepping outside wont be a nightmare anymore #uhg. lays face down on the floor.

[sickmachete]

what's happening tomorrow ? good luck for whatever it is !

ah !! thank youuu it's nothing big i just have a lot of things i needa get done before the weekend :-)

#asks #good morning! or whatever time it is for you <3 but it is officially Tomorrow now so ive gotta get my act together 💪 #need ta suck it up and finally ask my roommate to let me use her car so i can jump my car #then take it for a few test drives since its been sitting dead for a while #but first i needa do laundry and shower and pack a little to-go bag bc im planning on driving 4 hrs to see my sister on friday :-) #OH and i wanted to give my dog a bath today once i got the car fixed since hes due for one. crusty little man #gonna take the boy for a little roadtrip <3 he loves riding in the car sm #should be fun but ive been so sluggish lately the checklist of Things To Do TM is a bit daunting #and im still nervous about asking my roommate for help lol #BUT WE PERSIST!!!!!!!! #wheres that post thats like. are you scared of doing this if yes then do it scared #💪😤 we got this

[orcelito]

Tfw near panic attack on the way home but I am home now and it's okay and my girls are okay. Too.

#speculation nation #negative/ #it's just been a long day and a guy tried to talk to me and i was confused on what he was asking and #he asked me to call 911 so someone could 'clean it up' and i was like '?!?!?!' bc i thought some1 got MURDERED in the park or smth #and it's dark and i couldnt see well and he was motioning towards his face. bloody nose #and thats what he wanted help cleaning up and so i was just like 'you want me to call the paramedics to clean up?' #and he was like 'idfk i just want someone to clean it up' and i mentioned how downtown was just a few blocks that way #and he was like 'well thanks anyways' and wandered off to somewhere else and i #am tired and cold and its been a Long day and i was so confused at what he wanted from me #and kind of scared bc it was dark and it was some random man i didnt know and #so i got home and checked on my girls and had a bit of a hyperventilation session on the floor #im breathing normal but still kind of trembly and #so so so so tired #it has been a long day and i want to climb right into bed but i have to shower first and #today is not good. it is not a good day. #im really really tired.

[xumoonhao]

also . i asked a stranger a question yesterday and didn’t stutter Or get nervous. truly never happens to me!!!

#im always so so anxious & autistic. taking to ppl i don’t know is strange but!!! i did it easily!!! #we were having trouble getting into the place we’re staying at (we didn’t know how to use the elevator) and someone who works here popped in #the elevator at the same time and! i was able to ask him for help!!! what an experience for me (<- this is normal for lots of ppl) #i did scare him at first tho 😭 i didn’t mean to he just didn’t expect someone in the elevator ig #🎆.txt

[youjustwaitsunshine]

random pic for tag diary (made these from kneadable eraser)

#idkkkk just feeling some type of way? #last weekend i was hanging out with some friends and we were just talking about how long we want to live idk #and my boyfriend is the first person ive heard saying that he wants to get at least 120 bc like so many of us are just sad kids #who are scared of a future that seems so dystopian #and in comes this idiot (affectionately) going 'i need to get at least 120 i want all the time i can get' #i dont fully know why but he said 'life's the only thing we get for free and you know that i cant say no to free things' and i almost cried #it was just so very earnest and sweet and im used to being friends with a lot of cynical people #hes good for me i think. softens me up. bc im definitely more on the rough side and hes just very emotional and (a bit over)dramatic #its really funny actually bc were like. super effeminate boyfriend x super masculine girlfriend and tis probably hilarious from the outside #even if i feel super inadequate sometimes bc he's so thoughtful and romantic and im. well. not really. im more like a block of wood #romantically speaking #idk i just stand there and feel awkward a lot bc i cant deal with affection too well but it helps that hes just so sweet #like when we were on our drive through half of germany and we just talked about so much and it was things like favorite colors #or singing along to the beatles on one of his player pianos (dont ask) #it can get a bit much but hes just so easy to talk to. idk why im making a blog entry from this but hey :) #anyways what i wanted to say. it's nice to have someone in my life whos less cynical than me

[agentemo]

I think I worked too hard for too long trying to fix things with my mom and it kept breaking me down the way it always did and now I feel like a shell of a person because it was a waste it was a waste to hollow myself out and show her the viscera I'm made of and keep hoping keep hoping she'll find something beautiful in it someday

strangers love me better

#I'm gonna make an instagram soon finally so I can keep in touch with irl and internet friends #just like there are people I think it would be cool to know me as more than this scared hermit hiding behind Mikey's name lol #im fucking angry that no one ever told me who told purchase admin about my suicidal ideation. i hate the not knowing and that was my first #realization I'm not safe anywhere I am not truly anonymous anywhere #i think it was heather. i think i should ask her. #i think i am angry for the kindness of that treaturous time because things are still treaturous and i do not have a group of friends that #will save me and help me move because there is no where to move to #and now i dont have any friends #DELETE LATER #i am in my feelings cuz i got rejected from a job whatever whatever! #if you made it this far. holy shit. annette will not leave my side. #i worry she is feeling my depression #its nice to always wake up with her next to me