#feyre x female!reader

[lalacliffthorne]

😈 fuck it, let's do it again 😈

modern!Feyre x Reader

summary: being stuck in a dry spell finally ends with a bold offer.

notes: is this just porn without plot? pretty much! 😂 like, there's a little plot. a teensy tiny bit *squints to see*. but that's it. the rest is really just a whole lot of smut. (also @leafsandstarlight said I should post this and I can never say no to her, so here we are 😌)

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"Okay."

I turned my head, and Feyre leaned against the doorframe, her eyes narrowing warily even as one corner of her lips tipped upwards. "What's going on?"

I crunched my brows and blinked at her from where I was stretched out on my back, my head hanging over the edge of my mattress.

"Huh?"

Feyre's lips curved into a grin, and she raised a brow and let her gaze drag through my room pointedly. I craned my neck and cringed slightly when my eyes flickered over the abandoned clothes thrown over the carpet and clothing rack, the chaos on my desk and the books and pillows strewn everywhere, paths dotted through the mess from where I had aimlessly wandered around, huffing and scowling.

I winced before turning my gaze back towards Feyre, just in time to see her eyes flicker over the lace of my bralette.

Something in my stomach twitched and twisted, and Feyre blinked, tearing her gaze away and looking down at my face, grinning lightly. “Are you okay?”

“Peachy.” I wriggled my hips to get more comfortable, sending her a smirk.

Feyre scoffed. 

“Bullshit.” She pushed off the doorframe, hestating before narrowing her eyes at me a little, her lips curving. “Does it have anything to do with that guy from the gym this morning?”

I snorted, mumbling “Partially.” under my breath.

“You know him?” Feyre trudged through the mess I had left on the carpet, stepping over my clothes before plopping down next to me on the ground. The scent of her perfume washed over me, warm and addicting as usual, and I sighed.

“Yeah, we had a bit of a thing, but – that was last year, and it didn't last and wasn't anything serious anyway.” I waved my hand dismissively.

Feyre hummed, and from the corner of my eye, I saw her grey eyes drag over my face.

“A thing?” There was something laced through her voice, though cheeky, that made my spine tingle a little.

“Yeah.” I grimaced as I reached under my back, twisting my arm to pull a pair of bunched sweatpants out from under me, sending them hurtling through the room until they landed on the hamper.

Feyre raised her brows.

“You mean, like –“

I felt my lips curve in amusement as I turned my head to grin back at her cheekily.

“Like we had a thing? A fling? Casual sex? Fucking? Getting it on?" Feyre groaned, and I snickered and raised my brows. "Do you want me to find more cringy ways of saying we hooked up?”

Feyre huffed, but her lips quirked into a wide grin when she leaned my way, lightly bumping her shoulder against my forehead. “Fuck off.”

Snickering, I turned my head back ahead.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Feyre's gaze flicker towards me, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip as she seemed to hesitate, and I tried to ignore the soft twisting feeling in my stomach.

“Was that before or after…”

My brain needed a second to keep up with her slow words. Then my heart did a skip, and I turned my head towards her as images flashed through my mind, a little blurry with alcohol, of the room across the hall, an addicting scent filling my lungs and my back arching off the mattress –

I blinked, feeling my lips twitch even though suddenly, heat was pooling between my legs.

“Eh. Before.” Crunching my brows and tearing my eyes away before they could stray towards Feyre´s teeth still digging into her bottom lip, I turned my head to stare back at the upside down wall in annoyance. “Anyway, it's not really about the guy, it's more about what seeing him reminded me of.”

“And what's that?” Feyre seemed to tear herself out of whatever thoughts were swirling through her mind, dropping her head against the mattress as she raised her brows at me.

I huffed grumpily.

“How long it's been since I got laid.”

Feyre blinked. Then she squinted. “How long?”

“Months.” I raised my brows.

Feyre´s lips turned upwards. “Really?"

I huffed and glowered at her. "What?"

"Nothing." Feyre's eyes twinkled as she sent me a cheeky grin. "Just didn't think you'd have trouble finding someone to release some tension."

Something in my stomach dipped, and I slowly started to grin widely. "Really? Why's that?"

Feyre rolled her eyes, grumbling, her cheeks tinging a soft pink. "No, not happening, don't think I'm gonna boost your ego."

"It needs boosting." I raised my brows with a wide, cheeky smile, and Feyre snorted a laugh like she couldn't help it, her eyes crinkling and freckles shifting.

Something swerved in my chest and my stomach.

"Fine." She twisted to stare at me, slowly smirking a little as her eyes slowly dragged over mine. "I didn't think you'd have trouble finding someone because you are just annoyingly, distractingly hot..."

My heart pulsed as I stared back at her, feeling my lips curve slowly and a thrum growing between my legs. Then I blinked, smiling cheekily as I raised a brow. "Boosted through the ceiling."

Feyre snorted, a grin breaking over her face as she flicked my forehead, and giggling, I turned my head back ahead, sighing.

"Anyway, I'm frustrated.”

From the corner of my eye, I saw Feyre's gaze dart towards me, and how she shifted slightly on the spot.

“Frustrated? Or,”, she raised her brows, “frustrated?”

I snorted before sitting up with a soft groan, twisting around to face her laborously while raising my brows.

“Frustrated. Really frustrated; like – I would climb the next person walking through that door –“

Feyre blinked, her body going rigid, and I snickered.

“Don't worry, I won't.” Sighing deeply, I crossed my legs. “Though I should. Really, I don't think this is healthy, I'm wound so tight -”

Feyre's gaze seemed to be pulled down to the lace of my bra and down to the soft sleeping shorts I was wearing, and my breath hitched a little, something twisting in my stomach.

“Anyway.” I blinked again before huffing softly, trying to cover the way I could suddenly feel something pool between my thighs. “I don't have anyone to hook up with, and I can only handle this for so long, and it's getting really difficult -”

Feyre moved a little, shifting her hips again. Then one corner of her lips quirked into a light grin, her eyes dragging over mine as she blinked and arched a brow.

“Too bad we agreed that us fucking was a one time thing.”

My gaze darted up, something swerving sharply in my lower stomach as again, for a second, all I could think of was hazy moans, messy kisses and a bare body rocking against mine.

For a second, Feyre looked like she regretted even opening her mouth. But then she just swallowed, her eyes looking molten as they flickered over my face.

Staring at her, I felt something thrum between my legs as one corner of my lips tipped up just slightly, my voice cheeky but a little hoarse when I mumbled: “Yeah…”

I blinked and felt my lips curve into a teasing grin, as if there wasn't suddenly heat flooding my spine, Feyre's perfume filling my lungs and my gaze magnetically pulled in by the curve of her breasts under her short top. “And who's to say we'd to it again sober?”

Feyre huffed.

“Oh, c'mon; you know just seeing you in a fucking bra makes me want to –“ She broke off abruptly.

Suddenly, the thrum between my legs hardened. Slowly, I felt my lips curve cheekily. “What?”

Feyre glared at me, but something shifted in her eyes, mirroring the teasing grin I was wearing.

“Take it off.” Her eyes dragged down my body, and I could see the second her eyes became a little hazy, tracing the curve of my chest.

For a second, I stared at her, now slightly wide eyed, something thrumming harshly between my legs. Then I blinked.

“I'd be cool with that.”

Feyre's eyes shot up to meet mine, disbelieving, and I blinked again, quickly raising my brows.

“I mean – we fucked once already,", Feyre's pupils blew, "and – technically, it doesn't count, because we were pretty drunk,”, I blinked, nodding grudingly, “okay; it does kinda count, because we still remember, but that also means we know that it was really fucking good, well, I do anyway, which means I still think about it, and,”, I breathed out, “I really wanna do it again.”

I crunched my brows, the words just spilling from my lips. “And I'm not just saying that because I'm extremely horny; I mean, it definitely factors in me actually saying it, but –“, I couldn't help the way my eyes dragged over Feyre's body, something twisting sharply in my lower stomach as wetness pooled between my legs, “yeah, no, I was definitely thinking about it before that too.”

Feyre stared at me, swallowing as her eyes quickly darted over my body like she couldn't help herself, making the thrum between my legs harden. Her pupils dildated, and I nearly moaned a little when her teeth sank into her bottom lip.

Shifting in space, I swallowed.

“I really don't wanna pressure you, but I'm starting to get really, really turned on, so,”, I smiled breathlessly, raising my brows cheekily, “a decision would be great.” I blinked, adding hastily: “I mean, I'd totally get it if you don't want to or think that it'll make things weird, or –“

Feyre pushed herself to her feet, and the words died in my throat when she turned around.

Something dipped in my chest, and I tried not to wince, swallowing harshly as I watched her make her way towards the door.

Feyre reached for the doorhandle, and she pushed the door close, turning around.

I blinked, something twisted in my lower stomach, and I bit down on my lip to keep my lips from curving into a stupidly wide smile as suddenly, heat rose between my legs. I shifted on the spot to ease the thrum, gain some friction and tipped my head to the side with a cheeky grin.

“Now what?”

Feyre huffed, but her grey eyes twinkled as one corner of her lips rose and she hooked her fingers under the waistband of her loose pyjama pants and slid them down. My throat dried as my gaze tracked over her legs, the curve of her hips under the high waistband of her slip, and I chewed on my bottom lip, shifting my body.

Beginning to make her way back over slowly, Feyre dragged her top over her head and dropped it onto the heap of clothes already strewn around over my floors, and I felt myself pulse around nothing as my lips parted, my eyes flickering over the curve of her breasts against the thin material of her bra.

“Now I'm gonna put you out of your misery.” Feyre's eyes were twinkling as she sent me a cheeky grin, her knee pressing into the mattress, and I slid back, my legs falling apart as my heart began to pound against my ribs.

“Oh yea-“

Feyre's breath brushed over my lips, and my own caught in my throat. Then she moved her head to the side, and my eyes fluttered shut when her nose ran down my jaw, her fingers pushing my hair over my shoulder before her lips pressed slowly against my neck.

A soft, shuddering breath left me, and my head tipped to the side, something beginning to pulse between my legs when Feyre carefully traced her lips down my neck, leaving slow kisses, nipping lightly at my skin and running her tongue over the bruises, causing a soft sound break from my lips as I squirmed, wetness pooling into my panties.

Dropping her head, Feyre traced her nose down over my skin, and everything in me twisted when she ran her tongue over the lace covering my breasts.

A broken moan shook through me, and I could feel my nipples tightening, the pinch of pleasure making my head fall back when Feyre hooked her fingers under the strap of my bra and slowly pulled it over my shoulder and down until my breast spilled out of the cup.

Feyre's tongue flicked over my nipple; my eyes flew open and down, and her hazy grey iris stared up at me as her hand closed around my breast and she opened her lips, sucking my tit into her mouth as far as possible.

Another moan shuddered through me, leaving my insides twisting as Feyre hollowed her cheeks, her tongue pressing against my nipple, and my eyes rolled back when her hand freed my other breast and started kneading it, rolling my nipple between her fingers. My back arched, and Feyre ran her tongue over my skin, slowly cirling my nipple before pulling it into her mouth, sucking gently. I whimpered under my breath, twitching and squirming as my hand flew up to slide into her hair, and Feyre's eyes fluttered, a moan breaking from the back of her throat that made my lips part.

“Fuck,”, she whispered breathily and licked over my nipple, flicking her tongue over it, sucking it until it was so tight, the pleasure caused my hips to jerk. “I love your tits.” She moved over to the other, lightly nipping my skin. "So soft." She kitten-licked over my nipple, sucking it into her mouth until I moaned. “Wanna watch them bounce when you ride my tongue.”

Everything in my stomach tightened as my hips rolled against nothing, and Feyre moaned softly, her breath quick against my sticky skin when she flicked her tongue over my nipple.

A shuddering whimper left me, and Feyre moved, her lips trailing over my skin as she pushed forward.

“Sounds like a plan.” My breath was quick even as I managed to grin cheekily, and Feyre gently bit my bottom lip and pulled.

“Hm.” Her hum was breathy when she sent me a grin, her eyes twinkling. “And I can think of at least ten more ways I wanna fuck you.”

My insides twitched and shuddered, and Feyre leaned forward and kissed me.

My stomach twisted. Her lips tasted like peppermint and chocolate, soft and plump as they caught mine hungrily, and I leaned forward with a moan, kissing back deeply.

Feyre made a hoarse sound, her hand sliding to my ass, and she moved, pushing me back until I sank onto the mattress. Her fingers slipped up to curl into my hair, tipping my head back, then her tongue slid into my mouth, unhurried and making my toes curl and hips buck, a soft groan breaking from her throat when I slipped my hands over her breasts, kneading the soft flesh and running my thumbs over her nipples as I dragged my tongue over hers.

Feyre moaned, the breathy sound causing my heart to tip, and she shifted, lightly rocking her hips against mine. I arched into her at the jolt of pleasure shooting up my stomach, my legs hooking over her ass as I moaned, kissing her harder, deeper, the thrum between my legs growing hotter and hotter. The quiet sounds breaking from Feyre's throat made my stomach twitch as her tongue darted out, tracing my lips, and when I parted them, Feyre licked into my mouth, swallowing my groan as I pushed my tongue against hers.

Breaking away, breathing heavily, Feyre dipped her head, lips latching onto my nipple, and I moaned breathlessly when she looked up at me, kneading my breast and sucking harshly.

My head fell into the sheets, and my back arched when Feyre's lips dragged over my chest, moving further down. Her fingers hooked into my shorts as she left slow, lazy kisses on my stomach, her teeth grazing my skin and causing my eyes to roll back. Her tongue dragged over my skin, then she slowly pulled my shorts down, and I raised my hips as she slid them down my legs. Her breath ghosted over my soaked underwear, and my hips twitched as her hands pressed against the inside of my thighs, spreading them until my body shuddered.

Feyre moaned softly, her nose brushing over my core, and I could see her hips squirm.

“Shit, you're wet.” Her voice was throaty, and my mouth fell open when she pressed an open mouthed kiss onto my underwear, her tongue tracing my clit through the fabric, and my head fell back as a moan spilled from my lips.

"Oh shit –“

Feyre's fingers hooked under the waistband of my panties and pulled them down my thighs, and I squirmed at the feeling of cool air hitting my wet clit, my thighs closing on instinct, but Feyre forced them apart, fingers brushing over my skin as she dipped her head.

I looked down just in time to see her eyes rise to meet mine, then she slowly ran her tongue up through my folds.

Curses slipped past my lips, almost drowning the low sound leaving Feyre as her eyes closed for a second like she couldn't help it, tongue curling a little, glistening with wetness when she mumbled: “Fuck, you taste so good.” She dipped her head again, eyes moving to meet mine, and my lips fell open without a sound when she closed her lips around my clit.

My insides twisted, leaving my body writhing and fingers digging into the sheets as Feyre started to slowly suck and lick my clit. Her eyes never left my face, glazed over, and my head fell back, breathless sounds leaving my lips that made my stomach tighten when her hands pressed onto the inside of my legs, spreading them apart further. Feyre's eyes were heavily lidded as she kept alternating between sucking my clit and running her tongue over it, either in slow strokes or gently flicking it, hot breath hitting my skin. Sometimes she came up for just a few seconds, nipping at my stomach, licking over the forming bruises before lowering her head again to move back in, making my breath hitch and soft moans leave my lips.

I could see Feyre shifting her hips, the curve of her ass visible, and something shuddered right down into my core at the thought of holding onto it when she rocked against my tongue.

Slowly, a twisted knot started forming in my stomach, my clit throbbing. Feyre breathed out, something of her unhurriedness washing away little by little as she buried her face in my pussy, dipping her tongue inside of me and making a shuddering whine leave me. She started sucking harder, picking up her rhythm, flicking harshly at my clit and making my lips fall apart.

“Fuck, I –“ I pressed my head into the mattress as my back arched, eyes squeezed shut as something coiled and twisted in my stomach, my body shuddering as I clutched the sheets.

“I think I'm –“ The knot in my stomach grew tighter with the second, my hips bucking only held down by Feyre's hands, her eyes glued to my face as she sucked my clit hard. Then she flicked her tongue over it, pressing down, and my eyes rolled back as the tightness in my stomach exploded.

I cried out as my body spasmed, my back arching off the bed as my hips twitched and rolled and waves of heat and pleasure washed through me until my body shuddered as I gripped onto my breasts.

Feyre sucked on my clit, tongue lapping up everything she could as she worked me through the high, licking and moaning, breathing heavily. But she didn't let off, kept sucking until I twitched with overstimulation and whimpered, hand darting out to bury in her hair. “Fey -“

She grinned and licked one more broad stripe through my folds that made me shudder. Then she straightened, and I slumped into the sheets, skin sweaty as Feyre crawled up my body.

A moan slipped past my lips when she dipped her head and kissed me. Her tongue slid into my mouth, and something twitched deep in my stomach as I tastes myself on her.

Untangling my fingers from the sheets, I slid my hands up her body, pulling her down, whimpering when her body pressed mine into the mattress, my hips rolling up, and Feyre moaned against my mouth, kissing me deeper before sucking my bottom lip between hers. I slid my hands over the curve of her ass, squeezing the soft flesh, and Feyre made a breathy sound against my lips before lightly licking against my tongue, making both of us breathe a laugh.

I arched my neck to softly sink my teeth into her bottom lip before kissing her again, sliding my tongue against hers, licking into her mouth. Feyre sucked at my tongue, her hips twitching down when I moaned, grinding against mine, and I slid my hands down her ass, rocking her up and moaning when her breasts pressed against my sore nipples.

Something tightened in my stomach, thrumming between my legs, and with a push, I rolled us over and swallowed Feyre's breathless moan.

“My turn.”

Heat pooled in my body when I felt her fingers digging into my hair, her hips jerking, and I dropped my head, pulling Feyre's bra to the side to run my lips over her skin. Then I slowly licked over her nipple, and Feyre's head fell back as her hips bucked.

Moaning against her warm skin, I reached up to palm her other breast, running my thumb over her hard nipple, and Feyre whimpered when I sucked her breast into my mouth.

I groaned against her skin, licking and sucking harshly, grinding my pussy against her leg and feeling my clit throb as I flicked her nipple with my tongue, licking over it as I undid the hooks of her bra.

Carelessly throwing it into the room, I raised my head again, and Feyre slid her hands over my back, dragging me down until our chests pressed together, my nipples dragging over her skin and making me moan into her mouth when she licked over my tongue, hands squeezing my ass and causing a pulse of heat to shoot through me.

Sliding down her body, I settled between her legs, spreading them with my hands and feeling something tumble in my stomach at the dark patch of wetness on Feyre's panties. Dropping my head, I pressed an open-mouthed kiss onto the inside of her thigh, my teeth dragging over her soft skin as I ran my nose up to where her hip and leg met.

Feyre squirmed with a whimper, and I hooked my fingers into the waistband of her panties and dragged them down over her hips and legs.

My insides clenched around nothing, and I moaned softly at the sight of her wet pussy. Biting down on my lip, I wrapped my hands over the insides of her thighs, pushing them apart before slipping a hand between her legs to spread her folds, and Feyre moaned when I dipped my head and slowly ran my tongue over her glistening clit.

The sound and the taste of her made my hips jerk into the mattress, and I groaned softly.

“Fuck,”, I mumbled hoarsely, feeling Feyre's fingers curl into my hair. “I love your pretty pussy.” I licked over her clit, then I sucked it into my mouth.  

Feyre whimpered, her hips twitching up, and I raised my eyes to watch her as I started to suck at her clit harshly. Her lips parted, her brows crunched together as her hands flew to clutch the sheets, and something tightened harshly in my stomach, making me lick over her clit a bit harder.

“Oh.” Feyre's back arched when I ran my tongue through her folds, dipping it into her entrance, and feeling my pussy throb, I started to fuck her with my tongue, my thumb circling her clit tightly.

Feyre moaned, the sounds going straight to my core, my clit thrumming when I raised my head. My fingers were already drenched from spreading her folds when I licked over her clit and slid one over her entrance, and Feyre's eyes flew down, lips falling apart when I slowly pressed into her.

Feyre moaned breathily, her head falling back, and I slowly curled my fingers as I licked over her clit, pressing my tongue flat and hard against it before sucking it between my lips again. My hips rocked down like instinct, and I hummed, beginning to slowly thrust my finger into her.

The sound of me pushing in and out of Feyre's pussy and my lips sucking and licking her clit harshly were echoing through the room, just drowned by Feyre's moans. I could feel her insides grow tighter and curled my finger, causing Feyre to whimper.

“Fuck –“

I slipped in another finger, licking her faster, and Feyre's head tipped back as she gripped her breasts, tugging at them as her heels dug into the mattress. “Shit, I´m –“

Her walls tightened as she came abruptly. I breathed in sharply as I sucked her clit into my mouth, and Feyre threw her head back with a moan so loud and high and shattering, my hips jerked.

Reaching down on instinct, I moaned against her when I ran my fingers over my throbbing clit, and Feyre's back arched.

Her body shuddered, and I sucked until I had lapped up her cum and felt her twitch. Then I slowly slid my fingers out of her, and raising my head, I caught her hazy eyes when I pulled my fingers back from my own pussy, licking them clean.

Feyre's lips parted, eyes hazy and molten, and she pushed herself up onto her shins, leaning forward and kissing me harshly. I moaned brokenly as her hands squeezed my breasts before dragging down to my ass.

Pushing myself up, I slipped my hands over her sides, and Feyre moved forward, swallowing my breathy moan when she lodged her thigh into between my legs, dragging me into her body until our chests pressed together and my pussy rocked down onto her thigh. 

We moaned softly at the same time, heavy breaths mixing, and I dug my fingers into her ass, grinding her pussy down onto my thigh as my clit rocked against her skin.

Feyre shuddered and whimpered, pushing closer, her tits pressing into mine, hard nipples dragging over my skin as she kissed me, tongues clashing, twisting as she rocked forward, then she mumbled breathily: “Fuck.”

We fell into a hard, slow rhythm, rocking against each other, our moans mixing like our heavy breathing, bodies pressed tightly together, grinding down against each other. My pussy thrummed as I rolled my hips, clinging to Feyre's body, her perfume clouding my mind as I broke the kiss to breathe harshly against her lips. Then I kissed her again desperately, sucking her tongue into my mouth.

Feyre moaned and I could feel her body shudder, hips grinding down erratically, her wet pussy dragging over my thigh, causing my clit to throb, insides twisting.

Feyre's next soft noise broke, and I could feel her twitch. Something dipped and swerved tightly in my stomach; my hand slipped down, and I rubbed my thumb over her clit.

Feyre cried out and threw her head back as her hips shuddered, and she came, again, harder. I licked over her throat, rocking my hips down as I felt the same knot form in my stomach, insides twisting –

Feyre's lips brushed over my cheek, mumbling a breathless order.

“Come for me, baby.”

A broken moan fell from my lips, my body shuddered, and a tremor wrecked my limbs when the pleasure in my stomach collapsed into waves, my thighs trembling as dug my fingers into Feyre's skin and rocked down against her until the pleasure became blinding.

Feyre's lips crashed onto mine, and I breathed heavily, sliding my tongue against hers, feeling my insides tighten.

“Fuck,”, I mumbled, and Feyre laughed against my lips, grinning as she kissed me again, licking into my mouth before sucking on my tongue. Her hands slid up to palm my breasts, rolling my nipples between her fingers, and I whined, running my hands over her body. My fingers slid through her folds, and Feyre's hips jerked, a hoarse moan breaking from her lips.

Raising my glistening fingers, I slowly licked them off, and Feyre's lips parted when I swirled my tongue around my fingers, moaning softly.

With a groan, Feyre leaned forward and kissed me desperately, pulling me into her lap. I moaned onto her mouth when my pussy rocked down against her, and Feyre's hands slid to my ass, grinding me against her as she dropped her head and softly bit one of my nipples. The sharp jolt of pleasure made me throw my head back as I dug my fingers into her hair.

"I wanna fuck you until you pass out,”, Feyre mumbled against my skin, and I whimpered softly, pulling her head up to kiss her harshly.

“I wanna ride your pussy,”, I panted into her mouth, and Feyre moaned, nodding quickly.

Sliding off her lap, I waited until she'd parted her legs. Then I swung one of mine over her thigh, crawling over her, aligning our hips before slowly sinking down. Shifting slightly from side to side, I pushed her leg towards the side, spreading her apart as I pressed my weight onto one leg, rocking down my hips.

Feyre whimpered a moan, and my eyes rolled back when my pussy dragged over hers.

“Fuck,”, I whimpered, my fingers digging into her leg, holding it as I slowly started to roll my hips.

Moans and whines mixed with wet sounds as I began to rock back and forth, grinding my pussy onto Feyre's until the sensation made my head fall back. I could feel her fingers digging into my thigh, and when I forced open my eyes, my lips parted with a moan at the sight of Feyre beneath me. Her naked body was sweaty, her back arching, fingers digging into the sheets as one of her hands tugged and squeezed one of her breasts, her nipples hard.

My insides shuddered, and I rolled my hips down quicker, grinding down harder until I was riding her, my back arching as I rocked down faster, feeling my clit throbbing and Feyre crying out. Her teeth had sunk into her bottom lip, and her eyes were glued to my breasts that bounced with my movements, the heat in her gaze nearly sending me over the edge.

Slowing my rocking slightly, I rolled my hips down, back arching before I slowly picked the pace up again, dragging out the twisting sensation in my stomach as I felt my hair cling to my sweaty skin, my insides shuddering, pussy thrumming as I rocked it over Feyre's until my eyes rolled back into my head, twisting heat building in my stomach.

“Harder,”, Feyre panted, gripping my thigh, and I moaned and shifted, grinding down faster, more harshly, until the knot in my insides grew unbearble, tight and pulsing and –

I came so hard, my body twisted forward as my back arched, and I pushed down, grinding down my hips as waves of shuddering pleasure wrecked through me, loud cries leaving me that bounced off the ceiling, making my insides shudder. I could feel myself drip, wetness pooling over Feyre's pussy as she twitched and followed, fingers fisting the sheets with a shattering moan.

I harshly rocked down my hips a few more times before slowly sliding off her, my limbs jello as I collapsed on the mattress, breathing quick and hard, my heart thrumming against my ribs as I stared up at the ceiling, a bubbling feeling building in my chest that mounted in a delirious giggle.

The mattress shifted, then Feyre plopped down next to me, panting and smiling widely. Swallowing, I closed my eyes until my heart slowly calmed before I turned to face her laborously.

"Hi."

Feyre grinned widely and slid an arm over my waist, dragging me forward until our breasts were pressed together and she could slide her leg between mine. A broken moan left me when my clit brushed over her skin, and Feyre kissed me, swallowing the sound as her tongue traced over mine. I slid mine into her mouth, and Feyre sucked it slowly, moving her head slightly as her moan vibrated through me, going straight down to my throbbing core. My hips twitched forward, and Feyre slid a hand over my hip and down.

My back arched when her fingers slowly ran through my folds, and I moaned breathlessly against her lips, my brows crunching as my fingers dug into her skin. Feyre's eyes were glazed over as she pulled back slightly, biting her bottom lip as her fingers slowly circled my clit, my hips bucking into her hand, grinding down against her as my eyes fluttered as pleasure twisted in my stomach.

“Ride my fingers.” Feyre's voice was breathless, and I whimpered, sliding one of my legs over her waist to spread them, give her better access –

Feyre's middle finger sank into me like a stone into water, my pussy wet with my cum and hers, and my walls fluttered as my hips rolled down and I moaned brokenly, the sound swallowed when Feyre kissed me harshly.

Clinging to her, I whimpered and whined, rocking my hips down as she began to slowly thrust her finger, her palm rubbing over my clit.

Kissing back hard, I felt my lips fall open when Feyre slid in another finger, and her tongue licked into my mouth, swirling around mine as she fucked me quicker, my hips meeting her thrusts harder, and Feyre moaned softly against my lips.

"Fuck,”, she mumbled breathlessly, nipping my bottom lip. “You're making me so wet.” She licked into my mouth. “Wanna fuck myself on your pussy after this.”

I moaned brokenly, squeezing my eyes shut as pleasure twisted in my stomach, Feyre's hard nipples rubbing over mine, adding to the stimulation cursing through my body, my hips trembling. Feyre kissed me messily, moaning as her tongue swirled around mine, and I clung to her ass, grinding down onto her hand, my eyes rolling as her palm pushed against my clit.

Feyre's fingers fucked into me harder and quicker until the sounds alone made my limbs tremble. I hooked my thigh tighter around her, feeling my impending orgasm tethering at the edge, the knot in my stomach forming tighter and tighter, almost unbearable –

“Fuck.” My back arched, my hips stuttered, and I felt a broken cry fall from my lips as my body shut down, waves of pleasure crashing over me so intense, my whole body spasmed, shaking and trembling, my breath faltering as I came over Feyre's hand so hard, my insides clenched.

Feyre moaned against my neck, biting down softly as her fingers rode me through the high, curling and thrusting until I twitched and whined.

Slowly, Feyre pulled her fingers out of me, and my insides fluttered around nothing when she raised her glistening hand and licked over it, her eyes closing as she moaned softly.

Something turned over in my stomach, and I moaned brokenly when she slid her fingers into her mouth, sucking off my cum.

Moving forward, I kissed her harshly, winding my leg tighter around her and pressing against her, grinding down my hips –

Feyre rolled us over, my sweaty back pressing into the sheets, and I moaned when her hips rocked against mine. Her hands wrapped around my thighs, spreading them until my calves hooked under her ass, and she slowly rolled down her hips. Her pussy grinded down onto mine, and my back arched, my clit sensitive, throbbing, my insides twisting around nothing as Feyre's arm slipped under my back, and she moaned against my cheek, rocking down harder.

“Shit,”, I whimpered.

"God, you're so wet.” Feyre moaned softly, rolling her hips down. “So wet for me.”

I grabbed onto her ass, grinding her down harder as I rocked up into her, and a broken moan tore from my throat as Feyre whined.

“Come on my pussy,”, I breathed. “Want you to grind on me and make yourself come.”

Feyre whimpered, her movements slowly growing quicker, more frantic, and I arched my back, my fingers digging into her skin as I cried softly when Feyre pushing down made her clit drag over mine. She was grinding against me harder now, body twisting, breathing heavily as she curled her fingers into my hair and pulled my head back, kissing my neck harshly, her tongue dragging over my skin. Then she moaned and shuddered, her limbs spasmed and hips stuttered, and I rocked her down harder as she came with a cry on my pussy.

My eyes rolled back, and Feyre shuddered, sliding down my body. Her hands pressed onto my thighs, pushing them apart, and a shuddering whimper left me when she buried her face between my legs and licked a broad stripe through my folds, moaning against me.

“Shit.” She licked quickly, harshly over my throbbing clit, and my head fell back as my body arched.

“Oh –“

Feyre closed her mouth over my clit and sucked, hard, quick, until I cried out, fingers clutching the sheets as hot scalding pleasure flooded through me until my eyes rolled back, the world shattering as my spine shuddered and my whole body twitched uncontrollably.

Feyre slowly licked up my cum, soft breathy hums leaving her, then she slowly pushed herself up and crawled up my body, flicking her tongue teasingly over one of my nipples before kissing me, moaning softly.

Our tongues twisted lazily together, causing shudders to run down my spine, and Feyre lightly rocked her pussy against my thigh until I pushed it up against her, causing her to moan against me, grinding against me slowly until her whole body shuddered. My sweaty skin stuck to the sheets, and I moaned quietly when Feyre's tongue dragged over mine, softly sinking my teeth into her bottom lip.

Feyre hummed and grinned lightly against my lips. “More?”

I started to smile, wide and cheeky, my heart thrumming against my ribs as I squeezed her ass. “Why, you tired?”

Feyre dropped her head to run her tongue up over my throat, making me gasp softly before moaning, her voice breathy when she mumbled: “If things go my way, I'll go down on you for the whole night.”

A soft whine broke from my lips, my hips rocking up. “Anything else?”, I panted.

Feyre smiled against my jaw.

“Want you sitting on my face.” Her teeth nipped my skin. “Wanna watch you fuck yourself on my pussy again.” She raised her head, her grey eyes twinkling as she mumbled breathily: “See your tits bounce when you rid-“

I rolled us over, and Feyre gasped softly as I grinned against her lips. “You gonna keep talking or do it?”

Feyre breathed a wide grin and kissed me, and I moaned softly when our tongues twisted.

@azrielshadows1nger @waytoomanyteenagefeels @secret-ly-here @icey--stars @ailyr92

#feyre archeron #feyre cursebreaker #feyre x reader #feyre #acotar x reader #acotar #acowar #acomaf #feyre imagine #acotar smut #feyre x female!reader #female x female #fxf #fxf smut #wlw smut #wlw

[bluetimeombre]

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ And I wouldn't marry me, either part 2

You were Azriel's mate, but it took losing you three times for him to realise.

[thank you for the love on part one, I’m so happy Azriel is getting the love he deserves!!!! This is another long one, another 6k. But I’ve learnt a new love for writing about him and i have so many ideas. This is a continuation and final part, part one here. Enjoy]

warnings: references to sexual assault and references to suicide. nothing explicit but please don't read if this is sensitive to you.

The third time Azriel almost lost you, he was pretty sure he lost a part of himself.

They'd all gone into battle, knowing that Hybern had the numbers to match and the advantage. But they'd all gone to fight in spite of that.

It had took some time for you to get the boys to agree to let you fight- you'd trained and grew up with all three of them but this was fighting on another scale. Although, if they were going, there really wasn't much they could say to get you to stay.

You were clad in Illyrian leathers just like them, armed with weapons and power.

The first battle was over quicker than you'd anticipated. Hybern soldiers surrendered, Tarquin drowned them on land. You'd suffered little, only falling on bed exhausted by the end of the day. Sadly, you were sharing a tent with Cassian and Azriel. It was like you were young again, all sleeping in the same room. It was a habit you'd done when you were young- all looking out and protecting each other.

The only difference was that Cassian snored as he got older.

But the next battle was worse.

It was bigger than last. Hybern's forces had doubled, seemingly at of nowhere, cutting their forces apart.

It was chaos, everywhere. Every corner there was fighting and bleeding and dying. There was pain all around you. Pain you felt like it was your own.

You used all your power, as much as you could to kill and protect. From the corner of your eyes you could see Azriel fight. Your Azriel, weaving in and out of people. Your mate. He was alive. And that was all you cared about.

But you didn't realise how much you'd been pushing herself and draining your power. Every time you stopped, you swayed on your feet, stumbling.

One of Hyberns men came for you as you were crouched and you barley blocked with your sword, rolling onto your back and slashing his arm off.

Not before he landed a sword in your thigh.

It had been deep burning and you yelled, yanking it out. Even with the wound, you kept fighting and fighting your way through until you saw a blaze of red and a familiar cry.

Cassian.

He'd been run through.

It was easy to push past exhaustion and winnow to his side, killing the man who'd been near him and any others that had been close enough. You fall to your knees next to him. 'Cassian, you prick.'

'You kiss your mate with that mouth,' he gasped. He was the only one who knew about Az and the bond. The only one you'd allow to make jokes.

You look down to his wound and gaged. Mother above, his guts were hanging out. 'No, no, no, come on, big guy, you have to stand.'

He groaned. 'Yea, don't think I can do that, sweetheart,' his eyes, lulled back.

You slap him in the face. Perhaps you wouldn't have felt guilt if it weren't for the way his eyes widened. 'You know I hate being called that.'

He laughed as his stomach and all its contents heaved out. Ignoring the pain in you, you hold his stomach, keeping him together. 'I promised Nesta i'd look after her,' he said. 'Please look after her.'

'Do it yourself,' you groaned.

Finally, Azriel came to your side and picked Cassian up like it was nothing, flying him to the tents. If only you still had your wings, you could have done it, saved him quicker.

Then, you were thrown back into the battle. Covered in his blood and yours, you fought through them all, slashing and killing like it was nothing. Like you had no reason to bat an eyelash at anything happening.

Eventually, it ended, but you couldn't even concentrate on who won or how much you'd lost. Your head ached, your leg was tied up in a bloody bandage ripped from your clothes. But none of that mattered.

Cassian was in bed, healing slowly. But he would live, everyone could tell. Especially with the way he picked fights. He argued with Rhys about throwing himself into danger, him and Nesta appeared to be having words with their eyes. Even Mor and Feyre argued. You were the only one silent with Azriel in the back. Too exhausted to even open your mouth.

That night, you tied up your wounds and fell asleep without changing.

It only got worse.

Elain- Feyre's sister and the most precious- was stolen from Hybern. You had only agreed to go and save her with a few selected others because your mate was in that few selective others.

It hadn't escaped your notice how he looked at her, was watchful over her like he once was with you. You saw the tick in his jaw at the news she was gone. You knew that this was the reason you hadn't told him. Knowing that he deserved someone like her, better than you. Kind and hopeful. You weren't. So the only thing you could do was watch your mate find love in someone else.

And you'd do it grudgingly but happy for him.

Azriel had took of with her. You and your high lady fought, fought through ash arrows and everything.

'You should get out of her, y/n,' said Feyre.

You groaned as an arrow skimmed your shoulder. Another had already got your hip. 'If you try to order me out of here, i'll be really pissed off at you.'

'I don't care if it gets you out!' she snapped, arguing like a real sister would.

'Yea, well- I was never one to listen to Rhys either.'

And Azriel was gone. Everything was fine.

You and Feyre ran, ran even as Tamlin defended you, ran until-

An arrow hit you in the back, straight to one of your old wing scars.

You tumbled, rolling on the ground as it broke and imbedded in your back. You screamed, in spite of yourself.

'You have to fly,' someone was telling you. Or saying it in general, frankly you had no idea what was going on. 'You have to take her.'

You rolled onto your stomach, groaning and trying to get yourself up. There was blood running down your arm, how did that get there?

'Y'n.'

You groaned, 'Azriel. I can't fly.'

'I know, I know- i've got you.' He picked you up, arm under your legs and around your shoulders.

'Elian, Azriel-'

'Feyre has her,' he told you. He sounded angry. Or afraid. Somehow his emotions were very easy to mix up.

'Feyre isn't strong enough.'

'She'll have to be.'

'You should take them, Elian-'

'I don't give a fuck about Elian right now, y'n.'

Just like that, he took off with you in his arms and your blood raining down on the camp of Hybern. You could barley hear anything over the wind... but you could feel it.

Something had tugged painfully at the bond, throwing you into a scream. Something had happened to Azriel. You twisted in his arms, finding gashing claw marks in his back from one of the hounds that had chased them down. His face was bleached white in pain, his hold on you tight.

Glancing around, you could just see Feyre in a blur of people.

'Azriel-' you gasped. He was in pain, so much pain.

He didn't say anything, just squeezed you tighter and looking ahead, barking orders as Feyre flew for the first time in need, in desperation. You remembered what that was like, trusting your life in them. But Azriel's wings, they were bleeding out. You remembered the pain. You'd go through it every day to spare him a minute of it.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

You and Azriel landed back in the camp in a blur of pain.

Even with him leaving a trail of blood, he managed to set you down like you were porcelain. You didn't cry out. You didn't yell for help. You threw his arm over your shoulder and supported him.

Nesta and Rhys rushed to Feyre.

You hated your brother for a long moment.

Elain wondered over, chained but whole.

Azriel moved from you, checking on Elian. You only managed to watch them as she kissed his cheek.

The pain came to you then. Your head, shoulder, back. You turned from the crowd of family. Elain moved to hug her sister, Rhys stayed at Feyre's side.

Thesan, someone you barley knew as more than a healer, came to you first but you pushed him away, pushed him to Azriel. 'His wings. Heal him, or i'll rip you to pieces.'

He didn't have to be told twice.

You stumbled your way to camp, to your little tent. You didn't share it with Cassian anymore as he was still healing and Azriel would be a while- needing healing of your own.

You collapsed on the bed, promising to look after yourself- just after your nap.

You were so fast asleep you didn’t even hear Azriel come in and sigh at the sight of you…

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Azriel was fighting when it happened. Specifically, when it snapped.

Mate. Mate. Mate.

No, he wasn't completely healed. But he had to fight. He wouldn't push himself, he knew that would be stupid. But he wouldn't watch as everyone fought. As you fought. He'd hardly seen you. He knew your back would be in pain. He knew you'd be in pain and you were still fighting, so far from him and out of reach.

He was thinking of you when it snapped.

Mate. Mate. Mate.

His soul sang it, his heart rose with it.

His shadows whispered it.

Mate. Mate. Mate.

y/n.

And the first thing he felt over the bond wasn't happiness or love. It was pain. It was death.

Mate. Mate. Mate.

In spite of the pain in his wings, how he'd been told not to fly, he did. He jumped into the skies, soaring over armies and dead to find you. He followed that pain, he followed the bond until he found you.

You, lying in your own blood. Again.

He fell next to you, his power eradicating anywhere near you. They dissovled, the ground cracked under him and his syphons shone in raw power.

'y/n?' he held your body, shaking you. Blood, so much. A sword had torn through your gut. 'Don't do this to me.'

Mate. Mate. Mate.

You cough, a thin stream of blood rolling from your lips. 'Azriel?'

'You're mine,' it was the first thing he could bring himself to say. 'You're my mate. Y/n. You have to hold on, ok? I'm gonna-gonna get you to safety.'

Something like a laugh escaped you, your body wracking with it. 'Of course, finally snaps for you as i'm dying.'

Snaps for you. Mate. Mate.

She knows, his shadows sung. She's known.

Azriel called out to Rhys in every way he could. 'We're gonna be fine. We're gonna be mates, y/n. You have to live, you understand?'

'Not really.' your eyes flutter shut.

'No!' he yelled, shaking you again.

'What's happened?' Rhysand landed next to him, blanking when he saw you in Azriel's arms, bleeding to death. How many times did this have to happen? How many times would you throw yourself into danger?

'She's my mate,' Azriel repeated. He tested it out loud, speaking it to the mother. How cruel was she? to give him this then try to take her away. Well, the mother wouldn't get that chance. Azriel would fight her if she tried to lay a hand on your life.

'What?' said Rhys.

'My mate,' he all but growled as Rhys got closer.

He put a hand on the back of Azriels neck, a hand on your head. 'We have to save her, Az.' he knew all about mating of course, knew that Azriel wanted nobody around her. But this was too save her. 'She's my sister too, the last sister I have. I care about her to.'

Azriel wanted to throw a thousand insults his way but refrained. If not because he was high lord, but also because you were dying.

They got you to safety, Azriel carrying you through to a tent.

'Y/n?!' Cassian rushed over, seeing you in his brothers arms, bleeding out and unresponsive.

Azriel pushed past him, setting you down on the bed. 'Get everyone, every healer now.' He had no idea who he was trying to demand, but he couldn’t watch this, couldn’t see you in.

You were still in your bed. Behind him, Feyre rushed to her mate, wrapping her arms around his torso as your brother stared at you in muted horror.

Azriel was leaning over you, sitting on the edge of the bed. ‘She’s my mate.'

'What?' Said Cassian, ‘She told you?'

Azriel felt the world stop around him. Not did you know about the bond and hadn’t told him, you’d told someone else? Cassian? His hand stilled in brushing your hair back, his shadows coaxing you instead.

Rhysand spoke what Azriel wanted to scream. 'You knew?'

'She-She told me,'

Azriel had always had an iron fist control on his emotions, as relied on to be spy master, he had to. But his patience was hanging on by a thread. You were still bleeding out and nobody had come and Cassian knew. Cassian knew about his mate before he did.

His shadows caressed you and, leaving you in the coolness of their touch, he leapt up, marching around the bed toward him.

Rhys was quicker, a hand on Azriels chest to stop him. 'Calm, brother.'

'Calm?' He seethed. 'When-how long have you known?' He shouted.

Cassian breathed out, pushing his hair back . His wings were tucked in behind him. 'She told me, before she went under the mountain.'

Even Rhysand let him go, blowing out air and throwing his arms over his head as Feyre gasped.

Azriel stumbled, a hand to his chest. His shadows were divided between him and caring for you. 'Fifty years,' he gasped.

You’d known for fifty years- possibly longer and hadn’t said a word.

He was panicking, his breath escaping him. His shadows settled uneasy around him. And the only person who was capable of calming him was laying unconscious.

Thesan burst in, knowing the injured already and working on you quickly.

Azriel almost launched at him, just for touching you. The reasonable part of him knew he needed to touch to heal, but the part that was your mate wanted him dead.

Cassian held him back, physically.

Azriel glowered at him. 'I wouldn’t touch me if i were you, brother,' he practically spat the words.

Rhysand left Feyre with a kiss on her cheek, coming to Azriel who was looking over you on the other side. 'Az, you need to rest-you’re hurt, too, remember?'

He shook his head, staring down at you. Mother above you were pale, so pale. 'I-I can’t feel anything Rhys, I can’t feel her through the bond.'

'My sister is a fighter, she’ll make it through.'

Azriel scoffed. His shadows were caressing up and down your arm. ‘Don’t pretend you’ve ever cared about her like a brother.'

Rhysand inhaled sharply. This was just fear, he told himself. 'Azriel.'

'No,' he said, his finger brushing back your hair. 'You only care about her when she’s dying and all y/n does is worship you- ever since you were children.'

Cassian tried to advance, 'Azriel, you wouldn’t be saying any of this if y/n wasn’t hurt.'

He laughed, bitterly. 'No, I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t have to. I’d bite my tongue. But your sister is dying and the last time you cared was the last time she almost died- it killed her to lose her wings and you were never there! And you teach your mate to fly right in front of her!'

Rhys growled. ‘Don’t bring my mate into this!'

‘You’ve brought mine into this!' He yelled. 'Everything she does is for you. Working for you. My mate followed you down to the mountain even when you didn’t care.'

'Of course I cared.'

'Then why did she feel so alone down there!'

‘How would you know, Azriel? You weren’t there!'

'Because I know her, bond or not. And you’ve been otherwise occupied.'

Cassian moved between the two, holding them apart. 'None of this matters to y/n does it.'

Azriel blankes them all, settling next to you. He vaguely heard Cassian send Rhysand and Feyre away. He felt him longer before he felt him leave.

And then all Azriel could feel, was you.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

You felt pain first. The steady thumping of it through your body. It started in your leg, numbing it. Then, her back ached- a familiar pain you'd felt before. It sent panic through you before you realised they can't take your wings twice.

Then, it was in your gut, stinging. Just the thought of moving was hurting- aching.

There was a coldness around you, draped over like shadows. Shadows...

That's when you felt the tug that you'd neglected to feel for more than half a century.

The bond. There was finally something tied to the other end.

The shadows around you must've known you were awake as they grew frantic around you.

You opened your eyes, slowly, afraid to what you may see. Afraid to the eyes you'll have to meet.

Azriel was sat on a chair next to you, bare chested with only bandages around him. Immediately, you were at a disadvantage. He was looking at you, dark eyes pouring into yours as his hands curled around shadows.

'What happened?' you asked.

'You were run through,' he said, voice wavering.

'Oh.'

'You're my mate.'

Your eyes flickered away, staring at your tent. 'Oh.'

'That's it?' he whispered. There was some heart-break tainting his voice. 'You're not gonna say something?'

You pulled the blanket over you, daring to move to sit up. He shifted, but his shadows helped you. 'What do you want me to say, Az?'

'Why did you tell Cassian and not me?' he asked. 'Why didn't you tell me, for fifty years?'

'It's-it's not a big deal.'

'Not a big deal?' he all but seethed. 'I'd say finding your mate is a pretty big thing, y/n. It's the person to spend the rest of your life with.'

'Can we not, do this now?' you winced, as the words left your mouth.

'You're right, maybe we should wait another fifty years to bring it up when you're dying.' you've never heard him be so cruel, you'd never even argued with him before this.

'I wasn't dying,' you mumbled.

He scoffed. 'You had an infected wound in your leg that you didn't tell anyone about. An ash arrow was imbedded in your back. Imbedded! You didn't see anyone about it and then- you run into battle and get yourself stabbed.'

'I didn't get myself stabbed!' you argued, your temper rising above all other judgment. 'I didn't rush out in there, wanting to die!'

'I held you as you bled out!' he yelled, standing up from his seat. You were swinging your legs over the bed, ignoring every twinge in your body. 'Do you have any idea what that's like? Not even to hold you as you die in my arms the first time but the second. And to know this time, I was holding my mate?'

You bit down on your lip. He had to use the word with such care and love even when angry. You could feel it. For once, guessing his emotions wasn't needed as you felt it all. The taunt anger in him, the pull of anxiety and above all else, the weight of his love.

Azriel walked around you. 'Please, you have to tell me. Why didn't you say something to me? Why wouldn't you tell me you're my mate? Am I that repulsive to you?'

'What?'

He gulped.

You shook your head as he knelt in front of you, shadows pooled around the two of you, as if they were trying to hold the two of you together. You took his hands, holding them and let something like love flow down the bond. 'You are the most beautiful thing in this world. Something better than me. I wouldn't burden you with that.'

He rose his gaze to you. 'Burden me?'

'Do you think i've enjoyed lying to you?' you ask, finally finding your words. 'Do you think I've liked being your mate and never being with you? That I left you for fifty years and thought of you every moment of every day, all day long. That when I come back I wonder if you or Mor had grown closer? Or if Elian would finally tell you how much she loves you? It's been eating me alive. But it's a small price to pay.'

Azriel grasped at his words, chocking on them. 'Elian is nothing to me, nothing.'

You pushed yourself up, using his shoulder to steady yourself before you move around him. 'Why? Have you only just decided that because I’m your mate? That’s not how it should go, Azriel.'

He was following you around your tent as you slipped on armour and leathers over your night dress. ‘I want you, only you.'

'Because of the bond?'

'Because I’ve always only wanted you!'

You laugh. 'No, you haven’t.'

'If we’d talked about this maybe fifty years ago you’d know that!'

You shook your head. Perhaps a part of you didn't want to believe him and all those wasted years at your fault, but you didn't want to believe his words either. Because what did that mean? That he loved you and wanted you. But that seemed just as impossible to you. How could he want someone so wrecked who'd done nothing but run away from her feelings and does nothing to make anyone happy?

'I don't want you to feel like that,' said Azriel, approaching her. She thought she'd spoken aloud before she realised he could feel everything that was hers. She'd only ever had to shield her thoughts from her brother- and he rarely sort her thoughts. 'Please, please-' he took your shoulders, turning you around and gently resting his head on yours.

You could feel his warm breath over your lips. You almost lost all resolve, with him that close. You'd never been so close to him, close enough to touch. To kiss. To know finally what it mean to have that deep connection that everyone was meant for.

One person in the whole world to belong to.

And he was stuck with her.

'Azriel-'

'Whatever you're thinking about yourself, i've thought about me a thousand times. And ever since we were kids you've always stopped me from thinking that. You've always told me what I was worth,' he whispered. His hands were wondering down your arms, sending shivers down you. He could've been doing it on purpose, distracting you. 'Why won't you accept it for yourself?'

You gulped down every uneasy thought. 'Because you're good, Az and i'm-'

'You're everything.'

'I'm not,' you look up at him, his own face blurry from your tears unwilling to fall. 'I'm not a fighter, i'm afraid of pain. And I could never be a leader, because i'm scared of losing people. I'm terrified about it half the time. Why do you think I followed Rhys down to that stupid party that I knew I wouldn't come back from? Because he'd do the same for me? We both know he wouldn't. But what would losing him mean for you? or Cass, or Mor? I was a coward and I wanted to hide from all the pain his leaving would have caused.'

Azriel shook his head, words sinking in. You were comparing yourself, to warriors like him and Cass, to the high lord- your own brother. 'It was unbearable without you. Maybe if it was just Rhysand i'd have still been able to be spymaster, because that's what he needed. But when I realised you'd gone to, it ruined me,' he admitted. 'I didn't care what you would've wanted, because you weren't here to tell me.'

You rub at your forehead, the tension creating a pain in your already aching body.

'And to anyone who made you feel inferior or worthless, i'll kill them,' he said. It was a shine of the real Azriel. The one who made a promise and never broke it.

You smirk. 'Can't kill the high lord.'

'No,' huffed Azriel, like it was a mild inconvenience. 'But I sure can punch him in the face.'

You laughed at that and Azriel smiled. He'd cracked you.

But your amusement dropped quickly, he felt it like a penny dropping. He let go of you as you turned away, wiping at your eyes. He didn't want to see you cry, didn't want to be the one to make you upset. He only wanted to make you feel loved.

'This isn't how I wanted this to go.'

Azriel suddenly felt conscious of himself. Maybe this wasn't so much about what you felt, maybe it was more about what you felt toward him. 'You really hate the mating bond that much?'

You look over to him. 'Being your mate is my greatest honour. But I don't want you to love me just because you have to.'

'It's not that-'

'And I know you're gonna keep saying that.'

'Until you believe me,' he assured her. 'Even if I have to tell you every day until I die.'

'I can't ask you to do that.'

He smiled at you, a heart-breaking smile of love. 'You haven't.'

You open your mouth to say something, but you're interrupted by Cassain poking his head through the tent flaps. The rest of his whole body was hidden, only showing his bronze face and hair framing him. There was a sheepish smile on his lips.

Azriel huffed. 'Cassian.'

'What? It didn't sound like much love making going on.'

'Mother above,' you sighed.

'What?' whined Cassian. 'I'm just saying, didn't sound like I was interrupting anything.'

'Personally I didn't know he was capable of saying that many words,' said another voice, familiar and dull. Nesta.

You frown. 'I'm sorry, is the whole camp out there.' You storm out, without Azriel to stop you.

He let you get away, again, and now there was no way he'd get you to accept the bond until the battle was done.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

The next time you and Azriel spoke, the war was over.

Elian had stabbed Hybern, Nesta had delivered the killing blow, to the head. And your brother had died.

For those few minutes of his death you wanted Feyre weep for him as you stood paralyzed, unable to move. This was the brother you worshiped, the one you’d follow to the end of the world. Did he know that when he went where you could not follow?

Feyre had done everything she could, she begged for his life back. And when her wish was granted, you were collapsing on his other side. Tears of joy in your eyes that Rhys wiped away.

Your family, safe.

Everyone seemed happy to return to Velaris. Home. Scars were left over everyone, fears and pains. Some wore them better than others.

You'd thrown yourself into life. And avoiding Azriel. Suddenly there were many friends you'd neglected that you needed to take dinner with, or so many spontaneous Rita nights with Nesta.

And none of it escaped his notice. The steady thump of the bond still thrived inside of you, his shadows followed everywhere you went, even loitering in your room.

If he was doing it in an attempt to annoy you, then you weren't gonna break first.

After a particularly harrowing Rita's night, the only thing you wanted to do was sleep in for the rest of the day, hide away from everyone and everything. Call it your coping mechanism.

Alas, there was no peace as your curtains were thrown open, light spilling in and burning through your eyelids.

'Knock it off!' the shadows had never bothered with waking you up before- it seemed they'd picked the worst time to start.

'We need to talk,' said a voice that certainly wasn't a shadow.

Rhysand.

You groan, rolling over. 'Can't you talk to me when i'm not hungover.'

'And when would that be, sister? you're getting as bad as Nesta.'

You throw your pillow off and at him, but he dodged it easily and with a smug smile. 'I hate it when you call me that.'

'What? When I compare you to Nesta? Clean up your act then.' He stood over your bed, his arms folded over his chest.

You glare at him. 'I meant sister.' You shuffled up, brushing your hair back.

Rhysand frowned and perched himself on the edge of your bed. There was something he wasn't saying, and you watched it weight heavy on his shoulders. 'You know the last time I was in your room you were throwing glasses at me and yelling at me to get out.'

'Well, don't give me ideas.'

His lips curled into a smile of amusement before he turned solemn again. 'Do you love me, y/n?'

You hadn't expected that. Your hangover could only get worse, your head swimming with possibilities as to why he was asking. And nervous, you were nervous. Maybe you'd never said you loved him out loud but surely your actions were enough of a tell. 'You're my high lord and my brother, of course.' you shrug it off, as if it was nothing.

The shadows trailed up the bed, as if sensing your anxiety.

Rhysand glanced over at you. 'Do you think I don't love you?'

You hesitate, chewing at the skin of your gum.

'Because I do. I do love you. You're my little sister, how can I not?' he muttered. 'And I didn't know you felt like that.'

'It was just sort of... obvious,' you said. 'I was never your sister, not really. I always knew that. You'd never see me like that so, I gave up thinking you would. But you're the only family I have.'

'No, I'm not,' he denied. 'Y/n, everyone in this house loves you. They're your family. And i'm sorry- i'm so sorry if my actions have ever made you think different.'

'Why now?' you ask, eyes screwed up looking at him. 'Why are you saying all this now, what's changed?'

He shook his head, strands of his hair- the same as yours- falling over his eyes. 'You almost died, died on that battlefield and I-I wasn't the first one there. Granted, it was your mate that reached you first but I, I wasn't there quick enough.'

You meet his gaze, his purple eyes sad in a way you'd only ever seen under the mountain. 'You died.'

'And as I was dying one of my deepest regrets was not calling you sister enough,' he shifted closer, taking your head in his hands as if you were a little kid. 'You are my sister. Full flesh and blood. Full love of mine. You are my family. After everything you've done for me. You were right, I needed you under there, when there was nothing good to keep me grounded, but you. My little sister.'

You were sure you were tearing up in front of him.

'You'll always be my sister.'

You laugh. 'Maybe I should get stabbed more often.'

'No,' he said seriously. 'I don't think Azriel would like that very much.'

The mention of him changed the tone in conversation, changed the very beating of your heart.

'What's going on with you two?'

'Oh, I see,' you tease, 'talk to me above sister and brotherly relations just to get in my love life. Not a good look on you high lord.'

He laughed. 'No, it's not that. I just care about the two of you, a lot. And you both deserve to be happy. And I think you'd be happiest with each other.'

You look down, twirling the rings on your fingers.

'Would it be so bad to try to love him?'

You shake your head, smiling as a tear rolls down your cheek. 'I don't even have to try. Feels like i've loved him forever.' his shadows climbed up your arm, leaving Rhysand to smile at the affection.

'You'll work it out,' said Rhys, leaning over and kissing the crown of your head.

Your door was thrown open, startling the two of you.

Azriel stood there. For his entrance, he didn't at all seem that confident when he stood in front of the two of you. His hands didn't know how to hold themselves in front of him.

Your brows rose. 'Were you listening at the door?'

'Azriel,' scolded Rhysand with a stupid grin.

'Get dressed,' he said simply to you. 'There's something you need to see.'

Without much room for argument, you kicked them both out and dressed.

You'd grudgingly let Azriel hold your hand as he led you through the woods. You'd winnowed in at an illyrian camp before he took you through it and into the woods close by.

It was the same camp you'd first met Azriel in. The oldest where you'd all become friends. You'd asked what you were doing there, but he was quiet as he led you through, helping you over roots or breaking twigs from the trees so they didn't hit you.

'Azriel, to any other girl, you leading her silently through a woods without saying anything would be a bit suspicious,' you tell him. His shadows trailed behind the two of you and his hand was secure in yours. You knew not to be scared, but you were still cautious.

'I wouldn't show any girl this,' he said.

After another half hour of walking, the two of you stumbled across a small hut. It was a tiny thing really, made out of twigs and sticks, hay and mud. It looked like something a child was capable of making.

Azriel paused in front of it. He let go of you hand and reached for the door. He was as tall as it and his wings had to tuck in tightly behind him.

Hesitantly, you followed in.

It was just as small as it looked and dirty, like it hadn't been touched in years. Cobwebs hung low (his shadows quickly tried to bat them all away for you) there was dirt and hay all over the floor. Glasses were dust filled and left around with a hundred other things. Some looked new, others old.

And yet, strangely familiar.

'I made this place,' said Azriel.

You looked back at him. He was hunched over a large box that was overflowing with things. 'You?'

'The first time my brothers picked on me, I came to these woods, working on this for days. Every time things got too much back then, i'd come here. I've been coming back for years.' he glanced at you, a sheepish look on his face. 'I've never showed anyone this before.'

You look around the place in new perspectives. The shadows settled around the place. You pictured a little Az, running here and hiding from his brothers. Did he feel alone? Did he feel un-loved? You were so enamoured by it you didn't realise he'd settled on the ground, pulling out things from his box.

'This is your glove, the one's you were wearing when we first met. You took them off to beat up some kid who was being mean to me. You didn't go back for them, you didn't even care.'

He said, pulling out a pair of red wool gloves. In spite of the hut, they were in perfect condition. Pristine. You remembered first meeting him, remembered the little soldier who'd been horrible. Those gloves wouldn't go anywhere near your hand now.

Azriel went in again. 'This is the empty glass jar of the cream you used to help my burns. Here's a book you read to me when I couldn't flip the pages myself. The notes you'd leave when you had to go back to camp. The flowers you picked for me and gave me for my birthday. Dried and stamped from every time you gave them to me.'

You stood, in shock as he kept taking things out.

'A terrible drawing I did of you when I was young. A locket of yours that broke and you never wore again. Stamps from our first theatre trip. Empty bottles from our first night together in Rita's- and Cassian's too. A letter you wrote to me when I was on a mission. A black ribbon from your hair, you used to always wear it with these things. Honestly, the amount I have in here,' and he pulled out several, of varying shades. Black, white, grey, red, dark green. All yours.

Azriel wasn't done. 'A page of annotations you did in one of Rhysand's books. A copy of your favourite poems. A coaster from the first time just you and I went to dinner. Here's some stones from when I first taught you to skim them. A quill that I used to use to write you letters. An old ring of yours is here too. Here's the first dagger you got me. It's too precious to me to be used to kill.'

Tears were falling down your cheeks as you watched him pull them all out and explain them in depth. There was more but the sight of it all was becoming blurred through your tears. The bond felt heavy and beautiful in you.

Azriel finally put the box down and fell to his knees in front of you. His hands came around the back of your thighs, holding you there as his eyes looked up into yours. 'Don't you ever think I don't love you, when I have loved you since we were eleven years old.'

You stutter on you breath. 'H-how?'

He rests his head on your stomach, looking utterly at your will and completely in love. 'How could I not?'

Slowly, as you could not move too fast, you settled down on your knees across from him. His hands moved up to your arms as yours went to his cheeks, brushing back his hair.

'It was always going to be you, wasn't it?' you mumbled. 'How could it be anyone else?'

Azriel kissed you then, finally. His lips were as soft as they'd looked, as you'd always imagined. His hands drifted to your waist, finger tips digging into to hold you close. His hands were strong, but his lips were gentle. He pulled away, only to groan in need before reaching for your lips again, harder, desperate.

His teeth bit down on your bottom lip, tongue sliding in to feel every corner of your mouth as his hands wondered around you, trying to grip onto any bit of you he could. Your arms wrapped around his neck, bringing him closer. Close enough to consume, to breath in.

You pulled back enough to catch your breath, arms still around his shoulders. 'Mother above, am I gonna make you the best meal of your life.'

But that could wait. For now, you'd settle for a dusty floor in the little house in the woods.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Taglist: @tothestarsandwhateverend @darlingbravebelle @lil-lupa @haileycannotcometothephantom @fairywriter-oracle @isa1b2h3 @tele86 @thebeautifulmysteriesoflife @unleashthelion @naturakaashi @aurora1115 @sirens-and-moonflowers @azriels-shadowsinger @willowpains @crazylokonugget @abysshaven @anuttellaa @wishfulwithwine @one-big-fangirl @harrystylesfan2686 @charlotteintumbleland @mellowarcadefun @starseedsamurai

#azriel x cassian x reader #azriel x you #azriel x reader #azriel #acotar #rhysand #cassian #nesta archeron #feyre archeron #azriel x oc #azriel x elain #azriel x female!reader #azriel x original character #swifties

[fever-fluff]

Cat's Out of the Bag, Claws and All

Synopsis: You’re sick of Cassian and Rhysand sticking their noses where it doesn’t belong. And Azriel’s tendency to let things slide when it comes to himself isn’t helping. Word Count: 4k (not proof read)

“I just think you’re becoming a bit…”

“A bit what, Cass?” Azriel was not in the mood for this. Sitting in Rita’s, in a booth right to the back while his two brothers pestered him on his love life was not how he wanted to spend the night after he’d returned to Velaris. You had been absent from his bed when he’d finally made it back in the early hours of the morning. Though he wasn’t worried. You had duties to attend to for Rhys as one of his foreign relations advisors, normally starting as soon as you woke in order to enjoy your evenings free of work to spend with him- even if he was the one still doing paperwork.

“Don’t you think she’s a bit too… extreme?” Azriel snarled at Cass’ blatant insult to you. But he held his hands up in peace, Rhys cutting in before he could do more damage. “What we’re trying to say, Azriel, is that it seems like you aren’t yourself lately. You’ve been showing up more recently, which is not a bad thing and we’re happy to see more of you. But it’s the reason of these increased showings that has us worried.”

Azriel supposed it was true. He had been showing up more – to social events that is. He was always present when it was just their inner circle, but the regular accepting of invitations to social events that didn’t need his presence was a new thing, something that you had gently insisted on since the two of you had become so close.

He was never one for meaningless interactions and had been pushing himself outside of his comfort zone for quite some time now by giving in every time you looked at him, pleading with those eyes of yours. He could never quite say no when you asked, and begged him, so nicely. But he nodded all the same to the two that he understood what they were trying to say, “I guess. I honestly didn’t think it was such a big deal. It makes her happy.”

“That’s the thing Az. Sure, it makes her happy. But does it make you?” Cass was trying, really trying not to say the wrong words and have this blow up in his face. Azriel thought for a moment, of all the times he’d watch you interact with others he didn’t even know the name of, never mind their importance to your work, while you linked your arm around his and had him trail along. He was always uncomfortable in the light, always wanting to slink back to the shadows. But you were the opposite, always blooming so lovely in the presence of everyone you deigned to offer your time to. He sometimes wished he could coddle you away from all their adoring eyes and have you all to himself. But he would never cage you like that.

“Not particularly. I do it for her, but sometimes I would rather sit at home while she goes about her work.” His admission was quiet, feeling that if he said it too loud it would carry on the wind and into your ear as you slept.

“What we’re trying to say, brother, is that spending your life with someone is all about compromise. You need to tell her when you don’t want to do something that makes you uncomfortable.” Since when has Cassian ever been so wise and all-knowing? He’d bet five gold marks Nesta had whipped that piece of sense into him after he’d thrown another of her books out the window, insisting on ‘a lovely stroll through Velaris’ instead. Azriel knew he was just jealous of the new male protagonist in her recent book series, garnering all her attention throughout the day.

But Cassian’s words had stuck in the back of his mind and refused to leave. Had he been compromising on his comfort for your own? You’d never pressed the issue with him, but he supposed he’d not put much of a front up against it in the past, agreeing almost immediately every time you’d asked for his company.

“You know I respect her and the work she does” Rhys had ordered another round as they settled in for the night of drinking ahead, “she’s one of the best at her job that I’ve ever seen, placating Eris is a testament to that. But she is intense, she has to be. I don’t want that to jeopardise you or your happiness with her in any way in the future. Putting up boundaries with her now is the best way to do that.”

Azriel knew his brothers had always had his best interest in their hearts when it came to things like this. Rhys’ intervention between him and Elain on Solstice years ago was a testament to that. He would have been hurt in a way he would never have come back from. Elain and Lucien’s bond was one of the strongest he’d ever seen – even rivalling that of Rhys and Feyre’s once given the chance. Then he’d met you. You had courted him from the minute you’d met, and he’d preened under the attention he’d longer centuries for. You weren’t his mate; no bond had snapped for him in the time he’d gotten to know you. But he’d worked past that and found that someone choosing to be with him purely of their own volition made it much harder to doubt whether he was worthy of you or not.

So, as they drank on, Azriel let their words mill over in his mind, finally agreeing with their concerns, and decided tomorrow he’d tell you how he really felt about all the parties you were asking him to attend.

Waking up to a hungover Azriel was a rare sight, but an amusing one none the less. You’d gone to bed last night early after reading a note he’d left, saying Rhys and Cass had asked him to drinks to catch up after being away for three months. You were upset, naturally, as you hadn’t seen him either during that time. But Azriel was a people pleaser, and he’d accepted their invitation with no qualms. So instead of wallowing in self-pity of not spending the first night with him back falling asleep in his arms, you had invited Mor and Feyre over to take your mind off it.

They’d left soon after midnight, Feyre wanting to get back to Nyx seeing as his father would be away most of the night. But all those sour feelings had left the second you’d awoken curled into his strong, tanned arms this morning.

Trying to shift in his hold, you’d felt him curl further into you with a groan, wing casting over the two of you to block the ray of sun peering in between the curtains. You laughed, sending a small gush of magic to pull it closed, cutting the bright light off. His hum of appreciation vibrated against your neck while you reached to play with the tresses of dark hair falling in front of his eyes. It was getting long again – which you preferred on him – but he’d cut it soon now that he was home.

“Good morning, love” you’d never tire of the purr the name elicited from the Illyrian warrior beside you, and it rumbled lowly as he reached into your touches further. “How were drinks with Cass and Rhys?”

“Long. Too long. Wanted to come home to you.” his voice, gods his voice. You loved it, the deep tones in the morning unlike anything else you’d ever heard.

“Yeah? I should have realised I’d need to rescue you, nab you back to have you all to myself.” One thing you’d realised in pursuing the Shadowsinger was his need for directness. His heart had been torn so many times that it wouldn’t beat for anything else. And you’d been more than happy to provide.

The morning was slow, full of sweetness and adoration you’d both been missing in his absence. Neither of you had been pressed to rise before noon until your stomach had grumbled its dislike of the lack of food. And so, you’d found yourselves sat at the small table in front of the windows overlooking Velaris, coffee and pastries in hand.

Azriel had woken from his drunken haze, and appeared caught in his own world, more so than usual as you noticed him missing the handle of his mug, for the second time. “Something on your mind, my love.”

His sigh was enough to know you wouldn’t like what he had to say, and your mind wandered to unpleasant thoughts of Rhys already assigning him to another mission far from home. “I swear on all that is good if that High Lord of yours assigned something else to you last nigh-”

“He hasn’t. And don’t forget he’s your High Lord also.” Azriel hated when you spoke against any decisions made by his family, which was rare. You were on the same page as them, mostly. But there were some things you disagreed strongly on. Not always living in Velaris had given you another taste of the world, and it faired well for you in your work here. But there were times when it caused temporary rifts between you and your friends, and you weren’t inclined to change if it could be solved with words instead of blades. But when it involved Azriel, you found yourself more and more inclined to picking up something sharp and slicing it into anything that wanted to steal him from you.

“We were… talking. Last night. About a couple things.” Azriel was not as sweet with words as his brother, but to see him lose them completely was new altogether. Putting the pieces together from the non-existent puzzle he’d left for you, you felt your breath hitch slightly, “About us?”

“Yeah…” you didn’t like this Azriel. The unsure and unconfident kind. He had a silent strength you’d admired since the first time you’d met. You’d fallen in love with the male that wasn’t this, and you hated seeing him act like anything lesser than he was.

“Azriel. Whatever it is, please speak to me about it. I want to know.” You’d moved from your chair, coming to sit on the side of his as you laid your hand next to his, letting him decide whether or not he wanted to take it. But the warmth that encased yours was comfort enough to know it wasn’t something that would break the two of you.  

“I – don’t want to go to the – social events anymore.” Your brows pinched in confusion, where was this coming from? “Care to tell me why?”

“I’m not a fan of them. At all really. And I realised I was doing something that wasn’t making me happy. It made you happy, which I’m glad, but I can’t do it anymore. S’ too much.”

You watched Azriel retreat into himself at the admission, but you said nothing as you saw his gaze flicker over the room until it finally landed on you, searching for any anger, or hurt. “If you think I’m angry, I’m not. I understand what you mean, and I’m glad you could tell me.”

“You are?”

You huffed a laugh, “Yea, I am. So long as they’re your thoughts and not your brothers, right?” he nodded, “They are.”

“Okay, no more unnecessary social outings, for you at least. I’ll still have to attend them, considering.” He nodded again, “of course, I wouldn’t assume otherwise.”

You kissed him lightly as you made to get ready for the day, the conversation ending quicker then it began. These mornings were all you really had alone with him, both your professions taking up the rest of your days and swallowing the majority of the daylight- and twilight.

He’d winnowed soon after from the garden after kissing you goodbye, seeming lighter now that he’d voiced his discomfort, and you released a sigh you’d been holding since.

There was a party in three days, one you’d assumed Azriel would attend with you. But now that he’d expressed his feelings about them, you couldn’t bring yourself to ask. Instead, you’d prepare yourself for the emotional and verbal onslaught to come without the Shadowsinger by your side.

You hated these things. Really, really hated them. being in a room full of fae looking to raise their status, their family name in the long list of nobles was always a tiring feet to be around, but it was a necessary evil to your work. Mor stood beside you in all her ethereal glory, and the pair of you looked nothing more than astounding. Emerie was somewhere in the crowd of people, charming her way through each table she rounded. You were sometimes envious of the support she lends to Mor at these times, the two made a good pair in these places, balancing the other out that lead to progress you would only dream of making in such short time.

But it seemed tonight all you would find for yourself was concealed and blatant admissions of fae asking about your seemingly juicy availability.

“Ladies, it’s an honour to have received an invitation to such a grand celebration, pray tell” the male who’d sauntered his way over to the two of you leered in you direction, “has the lovely lady finally been freed from her cage? Should I thank the Shadowsinger for his decision to set you free from you confines that is the Court of Nightmares?” You blanched at his obvious attempt but concealed it under a smile too easy that it felt tight, “I believe you’ve been fed the wrong fruit from the vine my lord, Azriel and I are still quite the pair. I do hope you don’t mean to sully his name when he is not here to defend himself?” your sinister pout had the blood leeching from the males cheeks, and he stuttered himself into a stupor until he could find his feet to walk quickly away.

Sighing, you grabbed a fresh glass of wine, the last going sour from the interaction. Mor’s head leaned to yours unceremoniously, “Mother, that’s the fifth one in the last hour! How often does this happen?”

“Any time Azriel isn’t with me. When he’s accompanied me in the past it stopped a lot of this for the most part. But with my reputation among the courts here and abroad, anyone will try to get their claws into the person holding the most honey pots.” You were feeling the effect of it much sooner than ever before, the mental strain making your mind lag. You’d really hoped Azriel would have been here tonight, but you couldn’t lean on his strength every time.

“That’s why you’ve been bringing him along…” something seemed to click with her. “You know he hates these things. But you wanted him here for support, for you.” You nodded without hesitation, confused as to why her face seemed so stricken by the knowledge.

“There’s something I have to tell you” Mor’s tone was sullen. As she explained, you listened and felt anger wash over you in gulfs. Oh, you were going to murder someone, and soon.

The following weeks after Azriel had admitted his feelings to you were…odd, to say the least. He wasn’t sure what to make of them. you had been the same as ever to him, loving and oh so understanding when it came to his every need. You didn’t press him to attend the gatherings you had to, opting to inform him instead of your departure. While you were gone, he would catch up on all the paperwork he had waiting, and by the time you came home, his arms would be open and waiting for you to fall into.

But something was still off. He felt it in the way your shoulders slumped more than they usually would after socialising all night. It was still taxing to you, but you had always smiled after when he had attended them with you. Now, you barely had enough energy to lift yourself from his hold, falling straight to sleep once he’d guided you to bed.

Those nights, when you’re too tired to tell him about your day, and instead just curl up against his side, Azriel thinks about the moments of when you’d first met.

Your connection to him was almost instantaneous, you’d follow him everywhere you could. The idle chatter you started with had eventually turned to long and deep conversations, sweeping him along into the early hours of the morning.

Your first kiss, when you’d found him after a more draining mission. You’d helped him bathe, nursing the tension from his back and mind with loving but firm touches to his skin. He’d turned to you in a burst of confidence and captured your mouth with his before he had anytime to think himself out of it. You’d melted into him almost instantly, and the rest had been a blur of tangled limbs and sheets.

The weeks after had been full of secret touches and longing looks, until Cassian had caught the two of you in a heated kiss after venturing to the kitchen for some late night tea. Always the one known for having loose lips, the whole house had known before Azriel could’ve knocked him unconscious, but you had laughed and squeezed his hand in reassurance, letting him know that you didn’t mind being claimed by him, if he were okay with you claiming him. No, he didn’t mind that at all.

Gods, he had been in heaven ever since. Having someone to come home to, to reach for in the long family dinner when before he had to watch the mated couples around him stare adoringly at one another. He now had someone to call his own, and he was so glad it was you.

But you seemed to be getting worse as the weeks rolled on, and he couldn’t quite understand why, until Rhysand pulled him into his office.

“She’s taking a leave of absence from her position.” Azriel’s world spun on the wrong axis as he processed the words coming from his brother’s mouth.

“She hasn’t spoken to you about this?” he shook his head, mind spiralling as to why you’d do something like this. You loved your job, more than anything. It gave you a purpose, something to give back to the world.

Cassian ventured in not long after, seeming to already know what was going on, “you’re not communicating again. Azriel, this is gonna really affect your-”

“Affect his what, Cassian?”

The three of the bristled at the sharpness of your tone. Azriel cast his gaze over you. Your eyes seemed darkened by a tiredness that hadn’t been there until a few weeks ago. Even your posture, always one to hold your head high, looked slumped against Mor and Feyre, who stood behind you.

“I was just saying that you both should talk a bit more about-”

“Oh, I’m sure you have a lot of comments on what me and my mate should talk about.”

Azriel stopped.

Everything stopped.

Your- your what?

You sighed, your admission seeming to go amiss amongst the thoughts swirling in you mind, but Azriel couldn’t comprehend how you’d said something like that so…so… casually.

“Azriel, Can I speak to Rhysand and Cassian – alone?” he didn’t feel himself answer, but Mor and Feyre seemed to understand and guided him into the hallway, where the three of them waited with baited breath to hear the onslaught you’d ensue. It wasn’t a secret, how much you detested some of the decisions they made in this court. Hels, you had even come to Eris’ defense more than once during the time of the alliance to put him on the Autumn throne. But this was different, and he knew it deep in his bones.

Mate. You’d called him your mate. But there was no bond. Nothing had snapped in all the time you had known each other. He loved you, infinitely. but that had been a choice you had both made in all that you had gone through, not for some fate woven between you.

“I know, it’s a lot to take in” it was Feyre, “I think we should sit down, get some tea while we wait until they’re finished.”  

So the three of them walked away from the voices on the other side of the door, and made for Feyre’s studio.

“You two need to butt out, now.” You were fuming, white hot rage consumed you as you looked to the grown males in front of you. But they weren’t acting like that, not in all the time you’d known them.

“You-you called Az your mate?”

Shit. Had you? Oh gods he was probably going insane with the thoughts in his head. No wonder he hadn’t answered you. How were you going to explain hiding something so profound from him for as long as you’d known each other.

“What of it.” you were snapping now. You don’t ever snap. That was your charm, ever the collected one, no matter what. But gods they had stuck their noses where it didn’t belong. And you detested it.

 The statement had seemed to shut the two of the up quite quickly, so you continued, happy for the lack of interruption. “I understand you’re looking out for Az; I do. But this is getting to the point where it’s ridiculous. Have you ever considered the weight in which Az holds your words? They’re like gospel to him.”

“We were just trying to help, nothing more.” You snorted as the High Lord’s words. Feyre and Mor have known of your secret since you met Azriel, but it seemed the two of them have truly kept it privy to your circle of three.

“Have you ever thought, for a second, that maybe sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong does more damage than good?” you were breaking now, the emotions you had welled up the past while cresting. “I wasn’t asking Azriel to those gatherings because I wanted him out of his comfort zone. Gods, I know he detests them.”

“Then why did you?”

“Because I needed him. It’s not easy listening to fae ask about your hand in marriage while your mate sits happily at home.”

You took a breath as the two said nothing more. “I came here to tell you that my leave was because I was overwhelmed. It’s a lot sometimes, even for me. And I hadn’t gotten a lot of time with Az without interruption since we met. I was going to tell you both today, about… the predicament. But it seems I’ve let the cat out of the bag, claws and all.”

Gods, how were you going to explain this to him? You’ve kept him in the dark for months. He’ll never forgive you.

“We-acknowledge our misstep. We truly didn’t mean to hurt you, or Azriel. And for that I apologise, for us both.” Rhys’ face was sullen enough for your anger towards the two wash away, and you nodded. “Believe me, you’re not the one who’s hurt him.”

With nothing else to say, you made for the door. Cassian’s voice stopping you just as you reached for the handle, “Just, make sure you get him to listen. He’ll go into his head, and its not a good place.”

You nodded.

 “I know.”

There will be a Part II

#acotar #azriel angst #azriel shadowsinger #azriel spymaster #azriel x reader #rhysand #a court of thorns and roses #azriel #azriel acotar #mor acotar #fem reader #azriel x female!reader #feyre archeron

[thehighladywrites]

— “You were flirting with me?”

pairing: Azriel x fem!reader

summary: You leave Azriel mid-makeout to debrief with your girls

warnings: suggestiveness, the ic being nosey, miscommunication, rhys and cassian knowingly riling az up, the girls get drunk and interrogate reader, the boys get drunk and interrogate az,

amara’s note: this might be the funniest thing i’ve ever written. also sorry for my absence i’m posting more soon💗💗

You’ve had a massive crush on Azriel since the day you met him. He didn’t really notice you and was somewhat nice to you.

Really, you had no idea how you started crushing on him, I mean he paid you no special attention or anything. Maybe it was because he was quiet, handsome, tall, dark, mysterious and only spoke when it was necessary. He also cracked jokes and flashed grins that made your heart flutter. The Mother knows how much it grated your nerves whenever a male tried to hit or talk to you when you clearly had no desire to.

Azriel was the complete opposite and you started worrying that you were the one who grated on his nerves everytime you tried speaking to him.

“Hi Azriel, how are you doing?” you noticed him sitting at the dining table, collected yourself and asked him.

“Good,” he said staring straight into your soul before he realized his answer wasn’t really socially appropriate so asked you, “How are you?”

You just smiled awkwardly and nodded, “I’m fine, thanks.”

And that was how 90% of your conversations went. There was no further comments or extra questions and fuck if it wasn’t awkward. You really wanted to get to know him but you also knew how impossible it was since even the people he had been friends with for half a millennium often considered him a mystery.

Sensing the weird energy in the room, you just swiftly said goodbye, not bothering to stay to hear his goodbye.

He wanted to ask if you maybe wanted to do something, perhaps eat brunch at the restaurant you talked about to Cassian but you were moving before he had the chance. Azriel got extremely annoyed with himself, wondering why the hell he couldn’t ask you out like a normal person.

With determination, he promised himself to try the next time.

—

The girls all knew about your very obvious crush on Azriel and encouraged you to approach him often. They were all mated and happy and you wish it was you, you that had a mate, you who got loved and kissed and hugged and fucked.

But you just had to be obsessed with a man that paid you no attention… Maybe that’s why you wanted him, you viewed him as a challenge, and you loved challenges. Despite wanting his attention and wanting to get to know him, you still had self-respect and didn’t act like a pathetic, desperate, love-sick puppy infront of him.

So you went from always greeting him and smiling at him, trying to initiate conversations to flat out ignoring him. I mean, he never talked to you first so maybe it was time to accept it and just admire him from afar.

—

Azriel began to sense a dullness in his days, a void he couldn't really pinpoint. He realized he hadn’t talked to you, or rather, you hadn't talked to him while he played it cool, trying not to make his beating heart obvious. He noticed the absence of your chatter, questions and lovely voice, realizing that his days grew more mundane and boring without someone asking about his shadows, what his plans were, where he got Truth-Teller.

Azriel observed during dinner that you didn't glance at him once; your attention was solely on the girls or his brothers. You chose to stand up, walk across the dining room and grab the bowl of potatoes beside him instead of asking him for it, and it really irked him. Was he not worthy of passing a simple bowl of fucking potatoes?

He wondered if he had done something to make you avoid talking to him. Despite not being the most talkative person, he paid very close attention to everything you said, even if it seemed unnoticed. Azriel loved your presence and he thought he made his interest in you very clear when he looked at you.

Cassian had said girls like eye contact, still everytime he stared into your soul, you only looked weirded out. Was he doing it wrong? Maybe he wasn’t keeping eye contact long enough.

He had grown extremely fond of your talking and felt empty without it. Finding you alone in the kitchen while you prepared a quick breakfast, Azriel decided it was time to talk. The others had already headed to the training grounds as you had slept in. You were cooking your breakfast, not noticing Azriel.

“Hey.”

You stopped dead in your tracks, frozen in place as you slowly looked up at him. Was he really talking to you? But why?

“Yeah?”

He stayed quiet for a bit, just staring at you in that weird way he always did. Even though he wasn't sure if you liked him back and was afraid of rejection, he still wanted to talk to you.

“How have you been?”

You fight the urge to furrow your brows in confusion. Since when the hell did Azriel care? You were truly baffled and tried to act normal.

“Uh, I’ve been good, you?”

Azriel didn’t like this. He didn’t like this at all.

Usually, you'd spontaneously share every detail of your morning routine, even without him asking. He fucking loved to listen as you talked about your broken hairbrush, the struggle of choosing clothes, the snug fit of your leathers due to gained muscles, and the morning hassle with your hair, prompting you to wake up 20 minutes earlier than usual.

“I’m okay. Have you done anything else today? How is your hairbrush?”

A stupid question really, but Azriel didn’t care. He wanted to see that familiar spark in your eyes as you talked about anything and everything. No way would he ever forgive himself if he ruined something between you.

Your face heated at the fact that he remembered such a minuscule detail about something you said weeks ago.

”Oh, the hairbrush? It broke so I got an enchanted one. Heard it's like a hair miracle, tried it, and it really worked. By the way, your hair looks good. Did you cut it lately?”

Azriel couldn't help but warm up at your rambling. His eyes widened at first, and then he threw his head back and laughed. The deep, rich sound was familiar, yet it never failed to feel like the first time. It was a beautiful and joyful melody that always managed to make you melt on the inside.

"I really missed you," he admitted, feeling your heart pound in your chest, unable to meet his gaze.

"You did?" Azriel's soft smile warmed your heart, the one you'd nearly missed.

"I did. I enjoy being around you and hearing your voice," he confessed.

"Oh, I always thought you didn’t." You couldn't help but feel a mix of surprise and relief.

Stepping closer, Azriel's presence loomed over you, his hand gently lifting your chin.

“Please, don’t misunderstand me. I’m sorry that my silence ever gave you that impression. I thought I was making my interest clear, to be honest,” he murmured, sincerity gleaming in his hazel eyes.

“Okay, I promise I won’t misunderstand again. But why did you think you made yourself clear?” you whispered, feeling a rush of energy as you locked eyes with him.

“Because I made a point of holding prolonged eye contact, thinking it was a clear signal of my interest,” he explained matter-of-factly.

You couldn't help but raise your eyebrows, suppressing a laugh. “So, all those times you were staring at me, you were actually flirting?”

Azriel's expression softened, a hint of amusement dancing in his eyes. “Well, yes. I thought you knew.”

Suppressing a giggle, you bit your lip and glanced away, not wanting to offend him.

“Ah, not exactly crystal clear, but I understand now. Let’s go for a walk and chat some more,” you suggested, linking your arm through his.

"Sounds perfect. Now, tell me about those new leathers you got," he said, his playful demeanor easing the tension, steering the conversation towards lighter topics.

—

Over the next few months, the bond between you and Azriel deepened. He trusted you with secrets of his life that remained hidden from everyone else. These private conversations became the pillars of your connection, sweet moments for you only.

As the months went by, an unspoken desire for more lingered between you and Azriel. Yet, despite the magnetic pull, something kept you from going the final step.

You've had countless close moments where you almost kissed, where just a tip-toe closer would have sealed the deal. But it never happened. So close, yet so frustratingly far away.

—

Mor's question disrupted the laughter and gossiping of the girls' night, the clinking of wine glasses punctuating the anticipation in the air.

"Remind me again why you and Azriel aren’t a couple?”

Mor's curiosity hung palpably, shifting the mood from gossiping to an interrogation.

“Well, it’s kinda complicated,” you replied, swirling the wine in your glass as you gathered your thoughts.

“We have a great connection, but there's this unspoken understanding between us. It’s like there's a boundary we're afraid to cross.”

Amren raised an eyebrow, her sharp eyes observing you closely. “Unspoken understanding? Fancy fucking excuse”

Elain giggled and nodded in agreement.

You chuckled, “Maybe it is, but it’s like we're both tiptoeing around something, afraid to ruin what we have. I mean, do I want to be with him? Yeah, I do. But we might fuck something up and I think we have too good of a relationship to throw it all away.”

Nesta leaned back with a smirk, “Sounds like a case of unresolved sexual tension. Maybe the only cure would be to finally get a good dicking.”

You shot her a look, “You make it sound like a medical condition. Also that has got to be some plot from your smutty books.”

Feyre chimed in, “Maybe it is. Maybe it's time you took a bold step to see what happens. Who knows, it might get you laid.”

The group erupted into laughter, but underneath it, you couldn’t ignore the truth in their words. You liked him, there was no denying it. But did he like you as much?

—

“Is she dating anyone?” Rhysand’s casual question caught Azriel off guard as he browsed his big wine selections with Cassian while the girls where out of the house.

Azriel feigned ignorance. “Who?”

Rhysand and Cassian exchanged a knowing look. “Y/N. Is she dating anyone?”

Something about the question irked Azriel. “Why the hell do you care?”

Rhysand shrugged nonchalantly. “Just curious. I might set her up with someone.”

Azriel's jaw clenched as he fought to mask his frustration. Rhysand's casual tone grated on his nerves, igniting a simmering jealousy he hadn't realized he harbored. Suppressing a sigh, he forced himself to respond evenly,

“She's a grown female, Rhys. She doesn't need you playing matchmaker for her.”

Cassian chuckled, sensing the tension in the air. “Easy, Az. No need to get defensive. I think little Y/N might want a lover of her own, no?”

Azriel's gaze hardened, a flicker of annoyance flashing in his eyes. “I'm not being defensive. I just don't appreciate your implication. And no, she doesn’t need some lover.”

Rhysand raised an eyebrow, his smirk bordering on mischief. “Interesting. And why is that?”

Before Azriel could formulate a response, you had returned with the girls, your laughter echoing through the room, shifting the focus away from the questions. Azriel sighed, silently cursing Rhysand's annoying questions and the unresolved feelings stirring within him.

—

You turned off the tap and brought the glass of water to your mouth, much needed after the amounts of wine you and the girls had downed. It was honestly a miracle Mor had the energy to winnow you to the house of wind.

As the girls walked to the library for more drinking, you snuck into the kitchen for some water.

You put down the tall glass of water, swallowing the refreshing and cool drink before your body tingle.

Your stomach flipped, blood heating as your skin broke out in goosebumps.

His presence was undeniable.

Azriel was here.

Turning around to leave the sink, you saw him standing there behind the island, looking at you with a soft look that made your stomach flutter and cheeks heat.

"Hi," Azriel greeted softly as you approached him.

"Hi, Az." you replied, feeling a surge of warmth at the sight of him.

"Did you have fun with the girls?" he asked, his voice gentle.

"Yeah, I did," you answered with a smile as you looked down.

Azriel's lips twitched, and he gently lifted your chin with his pointer and thumb. He looked down at your midnight blue dress and raised his brows

"You look absolutely breathtaking."

Your heart beat faster and faster and you were damn sure your friends upstairs could hear how hard it drummed against your chest.

You leaned into his touch, the move careful and intentional. Azriel’s thumb rubbed against your jaw, your eyes glistening in awe at his handsome self.

”Thank you. It’s nothing special, I just like the color.”

Azriel's gaze softened, his eyes lingering on yours with a tenderness that made your knees weak. "It's not just the color," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "It's you. You’re beautiful."

A blush crept up your cheeks at his words, and you bit your lip nervously, unsure how to respond to such sincerity. But damn, he looked good, and the alcohol in your system made you feel bold enough to speak your mind.

"You look really good," you said, your voice a little breathless. "This shirt suits you."

Stepping closer, you let your hand rest on his sturdy chest, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath your fingertips, the tension between you palpable. Slowly, your hand traveled down to the planes of his stomach, each movement filled with anticipation.

As you looked up at him with a mischievous smile, you played with his belt, the air crackling with the electric energy of the moment. His reaction was immediate, his gaze flickering with desire as the tension between you reached its peak.

Azriel clenched his jaw, his hand moving to the back of your neck, pulling you closer until your breaths mingled. The sudden proximity caught you off guard, making you gasp softly.

"Careful," he murmured, his voice low and tinged with desire. "Let's not do things we can't handle."

Your breath hitched at his words, a shiver running down your spine as his proximity sent electric sparks coursing through you. “That sounds like a challenge, Azriel,” you taunted, your voice barely a whisper.

Azriel’s smirk widened, his gaze burning with intensity. “Consider it an invitation.”

You looked at each other, breathing shallowly. Azriel’s intense gaze softened gradually as his eyes traveled further down to your lips. He swallowed, pupils wide with lust.

"May I-"

"Yes."

It was a tender, sweet kiss that caught you off guard in the best way possible. You didn't expect him to be so gentle, but you welcomed it wholeheartedly.

His touch was tender yet reassuring. One hand cradled the back of your head, while the other wrapped around your waist, drawing you closer to him.

You melted into his embrace, savoring every moment of closeness. Your hands found their way to his neck, clinging to him as if you never wanted to let go.

Azriel’s shadows swirled around you lazily, one trailing up your calf and causing you to twitch in surprise. Pulling back, you were met with his clouded, lustful eyes. A mixture of concern and confusion cleared up his hazy gaze.

Suddenly, the reality of the situation hit you like a ton of bricks. Here you were, in the kitchen, making out with Azriel—the very male you'd had a crush on for what felt like an eternity. Panic surged through you, and you took a step back, needing a moment to collect yourself.

“Are you okay?”

“Mhm, I’m fine, just give me one second,” you managed to stammer out before turning on your heel and practically stumbling out of the kitchen.

With your heart racing and your mind in a whirlwind, you burst into the library where the girls were lounging, each with a glass of wine in hand. Feyre perked up at your arrival, offering a lazy smile.

“There you are, was wondering where you went,” she mused, clearly already feeling the effects of the alcohol.

Without thought, you blurted out the bombshell news. “Guys, Azriel and I kissed.”

The revelation seemed to sober up the entire room, and suddenly, you were bombarded with questions and reactions from your friends.

“Oh my gods, finally,” Mor exclaimed, practically jumping in her seat

“Is he a good kisser? Was it rough or soft? How did he hold you?” Nesta fired off questions, her curiosity piqued.

”All of you owe me 10 cold coins each. I’m always right,” Feyre slumped back in her seat, sipping the wine as she nodded happily.

“I knew you were up to something while we were in here,” Amren chimed in with a knowing smirk.

You grinned widely as you shared all the details with the girls, who were just as excited as you were. They leaned in, eager to hear every bit of the story.

As the questions swirled around you, Elain’s confused expression brought the conversation to a halt.

“Wait, why are you here? Aren’t you supposed to be kissing right now?” she asked, her brow furrowing in confusion.

You froze, the weight of her words sinking in. “Well, yes, we were just... making out, and I had to come here. I panicked.”

In response, your friends practically shoved you back outside, Nesta taking the lead. “And don’t you dare come back until your legs are shaking and you have a big smile on your face,” she declared with a mischievous grin.

You took a deep breath, suppressing your smile as you made your way back to the kitchen. Azriel stood there, leaning against the kitchen island with his feet crossed and arms over his chest.

“Are you sure you’re okay? We don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable,” he said, his voice laced with concern.

You softened at his words, stepping closer and wrapping your arms around his neck. Pulling him down slightly, you gave him a loud kiss that ended with an audible "mwah."

"I really couldn't be more comfortable. I love you, Az. Like a whole lot," you confessed, your voice filled with sincerity and affection.

Azriel's eyes softened at your words, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. He brushed a stray strand of hair from your face, his touch gentle and tender.

"I love you too," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "More than I can put into words."

You felt a rush of warmth flood through you at his admission, your heart fluttering with happiness. Without another word, you leaned in and kissed him again, the feeling of his lips against yours sending shivers down your spine.

Azriel grabbed your hips and slowly backed you into the kitchen island. You yelped when he picked you up and put you on the counter, deeping the kiss.

“Let me take you on a date. I want to do this properly,” he whispers breathlessly between kisses as he tucks your hair behind your ear.

You put your hands on his chest lovingly as you nod, smiling up at him. “I’d love that.”

—

extra scene where rhys and cassian visit azriel in the kitchen:

Azriel stood frozen as you left, his mind going into overdrive, worrying if he had done something wrong. Just as he was about to follow you, Rhys and Cassian popped their heads into the kitchen.

"Yo. Where did she go?" Cassian asked, scanning the empty kitchen.

Azriel furrowed his brows at the pair, or rather their heads.

"What the fuck are you doing here? Go before she comes back," he urged, shooing them away with his hand.

Rhys leaned against the kitchen island, a satisfied grin on his face. "It's about damn time."

Cassian nodded in agreement. "Fuck yeah, took him long enough. But hey, better late than never."

Azriel frowned, feeling the weight of their words. "You guys make it sound like it was some kind of mission."

Rhys chuckled. "In a way, it was. And you finally completed it."

Azriel sighed, "Stop talking like that, you sound fucking ancient.”

Cassian smirked at him, arms over his chest as he said “Y’all kissed?”

Azriel's cheeks flushed slightly at Cassian's question, but he maintained his composure. "Yeah, we did."

Rhys raised an eyebrow, a teasing glint in his eyes. "And?"

Azriel shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. "And it was... nice."

Cassian laughed, clapping Azriel on the back. "Nice? Come on, tongue?”

"Yeah, tongue,” he said trying and failing to suppress a smile.

Rhys raised an eyebrow, a teasing glint in his eyes. “I knew it, you little freak. What else?”

Azriel's expression turned guarded. “Okay, that's all you dickheads need to know. Now, get the fuck out before she comes back.”

Rhysand’s eyebrows shot up, a finger wagging in Azriel’s face. “You better not fuck in my kitchen, I swear to the Mother, I’ll make you both scrub every inch.”

Azriel rolled his eyes and ushered them out, leaning against the kitchen island, waiting for you.

#talkswithamara #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #acotar x reader #acotar imagine #azriel #rhysand #azriel fluff #azriel fic #azriel imagine #azriel fanfic #azriel shadowsinger #azriel acomaf #azriel acotar #az x reader #azriel x reader #azriel x yn #azriel x fem reader #azriel x y/n #azriel x reader fluff #azriel x female!reader #cassian #amren acotar #mor acotar #nesta archeron #feyre archeron #elain archeron #rhysand acotar #cassian acotar #azriel a court of thornes and roses

[illyrian-dreamer]

And Then There Were None – Part 1

Azriel/fem!reader

Synopsis: In the lead up to the war, Hybern releases a catastrophic spell that wipes out all humans, sparing just one.

Abandoned in the desolate human lands, you scavenge to survive long enough to find your family.

Reluctantly, you are found by the Shadowsinger as fate intervenes to guide you under his watchful eye.

Part 2>>>

Word count: 3.2k

Warnings: Death, blood, suggestions of miscarriage

Twigs snapped beneath your boots, your steps heavy with exhaustion as you stumbled through yet another town, as barren and deserted as the last one. 

Exhaustion and dehydration weighed heavy, wisps of dust caking your skirts, your boots the only thing to disturb the rubble in days. 

There was no concern for a carriage that might pull up behind, or a bossy merchant to yell at you to clear the path. While the ghosts of the life that once flourished echoed in closed shops and abandoned stalls, you stopped looking over your back days ago.

There were no plumes of smoke from chimneys, no distant chatter or laughter or cries. Safe from the occasional grunts or mews of abandoned cattle - there was not a single sign of life, and no human in sight for the past ten days.

A jarring cramp ripped from your abdomen, pulling you from delirium with urgency.

Water, food, bathe and sleep. That was why you were here.

You tried not to think about how quickly resources were depleting, even though you were sure you were the only one using them. Without people to treat water, the stagnant liquid became increasingly dangerous. And you couldn’t farm a vegetable to save your life, and had spent too long journeying to have tended to any crops.

You’d have to go further into the woods soon, find a fresh stream, perhaps hunt too. But you'd need strength for that, and you had just about run out.

At least it was spring, and at least the trees bloomed with fruit as you travelled from town to town, feet blistered and chapped. You cursed you parents for not teaching you formidable survival skills - fighting, hunting, even the ability to ride a gods damned horse would have been an incomparable luxury these past hellish days. 

A clang of guilt, and frustration quickly churned to longing. Gods, you hoped they were alive. You would do anything to have them here, to journey this devastating isolation together, the little ones too. You prayed to the Mother for the umpteenth time that day that they were safe and well. 

It was not a concern when you woke to an empty house almost a fortnight earlier. Your father was likely at the market, your mother hard at work at the tailor in town. Your siblings were hard to catch at this time of year, with school out of term and the warm spring air, they would spend each waking moment by the river if your parents let them. 

It wasn't until you spotted your fathers wheelbarrow through the speckled glass of your kitchen window, held by rotting wood. Empty and unmoved, his tools lay flat on the ground, untouched since the day before. You could have sworn he told you he’d be at the market by dawn. 

Scanning the room, your eyes flicked to the doorway where your mothers workbag lay untouched. Needles sat poked in balls of yarn as stray thread sprawled over leather - but an eery stillness sang to you at your parent’s tools. 

Names and calls went unanswered, and after a quick search of the home you ran outside, urgent to ask your neighbours where they had gone, your heart fastening with every step.

Too frantic to observe the lack of movement and noise from your own street, you rapped on the door, waiting only a few seconds to push the rattling screen and forcing your way in.

Names went unanswered again, and it was instinct that steered you straight for the nursery. You halted at the sight of new born's empty crib, blankets rippled as if the babe was taken straight from it’s sleep.

Your calls turned frantic as you scoured each room, an upsetting, looming sensation creeping over your skin.

Bursting from the home, you shielded your eyes from the bright sun as you scanned the street with urgency. Your only greeting was a quiet breeze and snort of a horse left abandoned by a cart - as if it had stopped it's journey halfway through.

In a panicked haze, you searched the next home, and the next, and the next. The dizziness found you then. 

Clearly there was an emergency of some kind. But you had been abandoned, left to sleep until midday amongst the quiet. The thought pained you.

More calls to anyone who might have stayed behind, yet still no answer. Your heart was a thunder in your ears. 

Had the war finally reached you? Had your family fled in the dead of the night? You shook the thought from your head – they would have woken you, would have needed your help to escape with the youngens.

And then you were running – yelling, sprinting through the dusty streets, voice breaking as you dashed from home to home, shop to shop, calling, crying, pleading.

You were utterly alone. You had been left there, alone. 

In a swarm of panic, you pressed a palm at your heart, willing yourself to calm. It was a dream, surely. You were not abandoned, only stuck in a nightmare, the kind that often found you as murmurs of Hybern’s army reaching human lands became louder. 

In that dizzying thought, you willed yourself awake, forcing your eyes open to the walls of your dark and cramped room, to the noises as your siblings shouting and playing from downstairs, to the whistle of the kettle and the creak of the wood as your father came to wake you.

But the light was blinding, the sun as true as the your abandonment.

Beads of sweat that ran down your neck, a gnawing anxiousness building in your stomach as it heaved and cramped, nausea and panic churning to one. 

Something truly terrible had happened.

And in that moment of utter disbelief, a stabbing pain ripped from your stomach, so great it forced a whimper from your throat. 

As silent trickles of blood ran from your thighs to your knees, tracing your calves beneath the fabric of your skirt, you found a numbing sort of courage. Pushing your legs forward, you mindlessly heeded the road out of your home town, and on to the next. 

People. You needed to find people.

————

Ten days, and still not a single sole in sight. Each home, each tavern, each market and farm left eerily untouched. 

The silence was enough to drive you mad, if not besides the aide you so desperately sought. This was not your cycle - although the pains were familiar. You had known what you were, what this was.

Almost a fortnight, yet the blood still came. Slower now, spotting instead of trickles. You had stolen clothing from abandoned shops, food and water too. But you were distraught, moments away from folding into utter madness. And you were weak – very, very weak.

Water, food, a bath and rest. A list you repeated to yourself, your body begging to prioritise sleep with every step as you approached a farm at the town’s edge.

With a weak hand, you pushed past the gate to the yard, large rusty barrels sat open where a cow and her calf now drank. The water was murky with a distinct smell, but it would have to do. Tomorrow, you’d find fresh water tomorrow.

The trembling hand that dipped to the cool water hardly looked like your own. Dirt lay thick under your nails, your skin littered with cuts from the countless times you had shattered windows of stores and traders homes, scouring the stock for preserved goods and weapons. 

Bringing the cool liquid to your lips, you ignored the taste of iron as you willed it to soothe your throat - hoarse from the endless calls that went unanswered.

Ears pricking at sudden growl behind you, you jerked at the site of a pack of dogs who approached on stealthy paws. Their eyes were hungry - flicking between you and the calf. Once loyal farming dogs you were sure, now abandoned by owners and left to fend for themselves. They had formed packs - clever things. While you were sure they couldn't kill you, you didn't have the strength to fight an infection if they got close enough to sink their teeth. 

From your side, you unsheathed the hunting knife you had looted from a previous town. Swinging it with unpracticed skill, you shouted at the pack, your heart thundering as you waited for them to recline on hindered paws and leap. 

They pack seemed to weigh you up, deciding the calf was an easier target. You fled inside the house before you could see it meet it’s end. 

The home was neat, and you almost cried at the sight of a loaf of bread sitting atop the kitchen counters. Mould had attacked it’s edges, but you tore at it, fisting mouthfuls of the centre, dry crumbs coating your throat it was an effort not to choke.

Your stomach lurched, unhappy with the quality of the food and water, but you didn't care. You were on step closer to rest.

Another jarring cramp from your stomach, and you faltered, gripping at the wooden table as you trembled to keep yourself upright. This ailment, how much longer would you last? Sleep begged at you, your body moments from giving out. You’d have to forgo the bath, and prayed to the mother you’d find the strength for it in the morning.

Forcing yourself to the bedroom, swaying with each stumbled step, consciousness was already slipping as you collapsed on the bed, clothes and boots in tact. 

————

It was a feverish sleep, your body doused in sweat as you stirred often, jolting awake in panics, phantom calls of your family mixed with the flap of wings, and the crunch of stone and rock under heavy boots.

Then a voice, voices – ones you were sure they were part of your slumber. 

But as those footsteps got closer, you woke in a startle, your heart fastened as you blinked furiously. 

Voices. Humans. People. Alive, well enough to talk. 

You leapt from the bed, ignoring the spin of your head as you clambered to the window, peering behind sheer drapes to the street in front.

Your stomach sank. Lurched. Then sank again. 

A large, demonic figure stalked for the home. Wings arched behind it’s head, it’s figure blackened by the leathers it bore, sword and knives strapped around. 

And, wisps of some kind. Deadly, reaping magic.

Fae.

Fae had come. 

Knees buckling, you stumbled back a few steps. 

The world around you reeled as adrenaline coursed through. You would have just moments to prepare if you wanted a chance to survive. 

Knife. Your hunting knife. Still strewn at your hip.

Grasping it’s hilt tightly with a trembling hand, you scanned the room for the best place to hide. 

The cupboard was too obvious, and there was room under the bed - but there’d be not enough to swing your knife, only enough for them to drag you by the ankle… 

The gentle click of the front door opening, and it took all you had not to whimper in panic.

Scrambling for the door as quietly as possible, you pressed your palm to your mouth, begging yourself not to cry as you pressed yourself behind the wood.

From what you could hear over the thunder of your heart, the steps of the fae were quiet despite it’s size. 

“Anything in there?” a deep voice boomed from the street. You jolted at the volume. More than one, then.

There was no reply from the creature in the home, only the creak of the wood as it made it’s way through. 

“Really, Azriel? Are we to check every home?” Female this time, impatience and ignorance laced in the somehow ancient voice.

No response again, instead a footstep, right by the door.

Something tickled your ankles then, and it was beyond you to stifle your compulsive scream. 

Black furling wisps coated your boots.

And then the door opened.

The creature made it one step inside before you had aimed your knife for it’s heart. 

A prepared, cool hand caught your wrist inches from it’s chest. Your bones crushing in it’s grasp, and you let out a yelp of pain. 

It’s face - his face - was one of shock. “S-sorry,” he stuttered, dropping his grip all together. 

You blinked back in shock, ignoring at the throb of your wrist as you snatched it back. 

For a dumb moment, you stared at each other with equally wide eyes. The male didn't seem to know what to do. 

“You’re human? How are you here, where-?"

The males sentence was clipped short as you drove the knife towards his chest again. 

Quick as an asp, he caught you by the forearm this time, more gently too. 

Hazel eyes scanned you, his features schooling as he called over his shoulder. “I’ve found someone.”

You were sure you looked mad, grunting with the effort to pull your arm from him, breaths ragged, eyes and hair wild. The male studied you as he might a rabid animal. 

Behind him appeared an even taller male, his form more terrifying than the one that gripped you. 

“Mother above,” the new one whispered, scanning you in the way the first one had. 

“L-let go of me,” you rasped, pulling your arm back, tears stinging at the pain of you surely broken wrist began to swell. 

It was a odd detail to note, the scars and ripples of the fae’s hand as he gently unfurled your fingers, prying the hunting knife from you before releasing his grip. 

“Let me see,” the female’s voice piped from behind, the males struggling to fold their wings further, cramming into the room to let her through. 

You faltered back on instinct, legs hitting the edge of the bed. 

As the female broke through the males, harsh silver eyes scanned you up and down. She was half their height, a little shorter than you actually, but the depth of her gaze kept your hands by your side.

“Seems the Mother has spared one after all,” she muttered, nose crumpling at your scent. 

Your answered with a scowl. 

“What is your name?” it demanded. 

“Amren,” the taller male warned, his eyes flicking back to you with softness. 

You refused to answer. Couldn’t if you wanted to. 

Amren sighed, casting her head sideways to the one with rippled hands. “She bleeds.”

“I know,” he answered, hazel eyes not breaking from you. You blushed, furious and humiliated. 

He stepped around her then, the movement graceful and soft despite his size. 

“You need aide.”

You gulped, unable to process his words. “L-leave me be,” you demanded, voice hoarse as you tried to create more distance between you and it. 

He crouched in front of you then, leathers stretching against ripples of muscle. You noticed them then, jewels, saphires, humming from his body as if they were alive.

He followed your eyes curiously, before answering you with a soft smile. 

“These are siphons,” he said plainly, giving one a friendly tap. 

You snapped your eyes back to him, disgust forming your features. “You are here on behalf of Hybern?”

The female snorted from behind, earning a shove from the larger male beside her, his siphons glowing red.

The one in front of you studied you. “No, absolutely not.” 

You scowled, not inclined to believe them. 

“We come one behalf of our High Lord Rhysand, and High Lady Feyre. Rulers of the Night Court. Do you know of them?”

Feyre - the human women who had freed the fae from the grasp of their enemy. You knew the story, the heroic tale of a human women who gave her life for the male she loved. Had heard of her triumphs Under the Mountain, that she had been made into fae herself in exchange for her sacrifice. 

“The-the curse breaker?”

A small smile cocked on both of the males faces. 

“That’s right,” the one crouched in front answered. “She sent us to retrieve you.”

A panic surged within you. “Me?” you spat. Oh the ignorance of the fae, as if you were some pawn to pluck and place elsewhere. 

Azriel frowned, eyes dancing as he realised the mistake in his words. “To help you, of course. There has been-"

"No-n-no. My family, they will seek for me-"

Azriel's brow pulled with softness, his tone falling flat. "We will search for them. Meanwhile, you must see a-"

“Where are the others?” Your voice was louder now, eyes dancing in panic, chest rising with fastening breaths. Had they taken them too? “The people, they've left, I don't know-"

“We are searching for others. You are… the first we have found.”

Your mind reeled. How could that be? You had searched by foot - but with those wings, and the strength and power of fae…

“WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO THE OTHER HUMANS?” the volume of your voice shocked even yourself, that strength, that demand from deep within your chest. 

Azriel gave you a pained look, before standing to turn to his counterparts. “Amren, can you heal-?”

“I’m spent,” she cut off the male with a flick of her fingers. “Those canines out back were hardly enough to keep me going until sundown, so forget about healing. Unless you suggest I drink her blood, though I doubt she’d survive.”

Mother above.

You were too hazed to see the glare both of the males cut her.

“Then she will need to see a healer before we can continue.”

“She might refuse,” the larger one countered. 

“If she’s smart, she won’t. She won't survive out here on her own,” Amren muttered, cleaning her nails as she leaned one on leg, checking her cat-like claws for flecks of blood. 

They continued their mutter without once turning to you.

“There is no option here. I’ll take her to Velaris, and return once she’s safe.”

A shaking, blubbering anger grew within you, the creatures in front of you as ignorant and obnoxious as you had always been told fae are – to discuss your own fate as if you weren't in the room.

A killer instinct flared in you then, and you remembered the second knife you bore, hidden within your corsette. A pocket knife, a tool from your father to help pit and peel the fruit from his farm. 

The oak handle was cool in your left hand, the right throbbing and limp. With the last remains of energy,  you pushed up from the bed, swinging with all your strength - aiming for the blue-siphoned back. 

In a graceful turn, the male caught your arm for the third time. You had to blink at the speed with which he stopped you. 

Bracing for cruel, unforgiving anger, you were instead met with sympathetic eyes. 

Loathing coiled within you. 

“Release me,” you spat.

“I’m sorry to do this,” was all he said, and then pads of those rippled fingers were grasping your jaw, pressing to the pressure points of your neck with precision. 

Grunting to fight his grasp, you didn’t struggle long before a ringing in your ear grew to defeating silence and the world tipped to black. 

Part 2 >>> AN: HELLLOOO! And welcome to ATTWN - massive shout out to @kindasleepywriter for finding the perfect name for this series! I so so hoped you liked part 1. I edited it like a million times, still not 100% happy with it, but I think I just needed to get it out. Fair warning - this fic won't be light hearted, our reader is going to go through some really heavy stuff. I'll of course put my warnings ahead of each part, but please know I plan to explore some darker themes surrounding mental health etc. If you'd like to join the tag list for this fic, let me know in the comments! Always love hearing your feedback, and thank you so much for reading! <3 Nic

#azriel x reader #azriel series #acotar series #azriel angst #acotarfanfic #azriel x y/n #azriel x you #azriel x human #acotar angst #azriel acotar #azriel x female!reader #cassian x reader #amren acotar #acotar #azriel fan fic #inner circle angst #acotar fandom #azriel fic #azriel fanfic #rhysand and feyre #ATTWN series #and then there were none #dream big with nic

[m4tthewmurd0ck]

IN EVERY UNIVERSE

── Azriel x Fem!Reader

(i try to be as non descriptive as possible but do use she / her, and mention reader being shorter than all the guys.)

CHAPTER ── INTRODUCTION

Ever since you were little, books have been your escape. Whether it was needing to get away from a bad day at school or an immature fight with a friend when you were a kid, or a rough day at work as you got older, reading allowed you to temporarily forget all of that.

You imagine what the characters might look like, you dream up scenarios for them that don’t happen in the books. And like so many others who do the exact same thing, you can’t help but wish characters were real so that they could sweep you off your feet. Ugh, what you wouldn’t give to have a certain one-armed super soldier call you doll.

You thought the MCU was where you wanted to exist the most… and then you were introduced to ACOTAR.

It didn’t take long at all for you to become another one of the many girls to fall for Azriel. You dreamt of what he might look like. And of course, knew he’d fall in love with you. Would you guys follow the enemies-to-lovers trope? Childhood best friends turned significant others? Or would it be a love-at-first sight moment for the shadowsinger, who would do everything in his power to get you to notice him? The answer depended on your mood, of course.

As much as you loved to fantasize, you also knew you had to be realistic. Azriel didn’t actually exist, at least not in your world.

One night, you even go so far as to convince yourself that all the hopeless dreaming had to stop. From that moment on, you’d still enjoy books, but you wanted to do your best to stop imagining a life for yourself in worlds you’d never get to visit.

It’s definitely easier said than done, but you go to bed that night confident that it’s the right thing to do.

Only, when you wake up the next morning… something is off. This isn’t your bedroom. The clothes you’re wearing, you’ve never seen before. And why does the man that has just entered your room look exactly like how you pictured Azriel?

TAGLIST FOR THIS SERIES ONLY ── if you requested to be tagged and your name isn’t clickable, it means i wasn’t able to tag you! also sorry to anyone who might’ve gotten their hopes up thinking this tag mean i posted it, but i promise it’s coming sometime this week! this is just so i’m able to keep track of who asked to be tagged.

@namelesssav | @cinnamoodles | @orphicmeliora | @flowerprincezz | @blushingfawnsposts | @kylaisra | @princessbelleinthetardis | @msoldier | @ccacotartoglover | @vickykazuya | @thecourtofnightmaresanddreams | @mirandasidefics

TAGLIST FOR ALL THINGS AZRIEL ──

@bakananya | @thisiskaylin | @saltedcoffeescotch | @melmo567 | @chelsiemp | @lilah-asteria | @r0sluvs | @imagoddessinmystories | @sandramalikstyles-blog | @minnieoo | @durgenyx

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE ADDED TO THIS SERIES TAGLIST, LET ME KNOW! (you can specify just this series, or all things Azriel)

#acotar au #acotar #azriel #azriel shadowsinger #azriel fluff #azriel angst #azriel x fem!reader #azriel x female!reader #azriel x you #azriel x reader #cassian #rhysand #inner circle #acosf #acomaf #acofas #feyre archeron #elain archeron #morrigan

[narcissisticmf]

practice or fun? | azriel x fem!reader

description: y/n and azriel decide to train to practice forms in battle. things get a little frisky.

trigger warnings: seductive behavior, a lot of fluff, mostly platonic, fae!reader, graphic violence, fighting, etc. read at your own risk.

word count: 1.1k

You stood before Azriel with a sword in hand, firmly grasping the handle. Your knuckles turned white as you swung your blade towards him. He blocked it effortlessly with his own, slashing it to the side so the tip of your blade kissed the snowy ground. You breathed out through your nostrils as he did so.

Lifting your gaze to him, your eyes flickered a bright shade of blue as you motioned your hand to toss a frosted ball of energy against his chest, knocking him down upon his back.

He grumbled and laid there for a moment. "I thought we said no magic," Azriel said lowly. You laughed and walked towards him, your eyes fading back to their original color as you held out a hand to help him up. He took it and stood up with your assistance.

Dusting off the snow against his Illyrian leathers, he stared at you with his bright hazel eyes. "You always manage to surprise me," He whispered. "And that will help you in war.. on the battlefield."

"I know," You smirked.

The two of you stared at each other for a while, a comfortable stillness fell upon the air. The soft snowfall was heard against the grass and the distant sound of an icy babbling stream filled the silence.

"Again," Azriel smirked slowly.

You smiled and raised your blade with a knowing expression as he would be the one to make the first strike. You alternated that during practices.

He slowly brought his blade up towards you. Your eyes were undeniably beautiful; intoxicating to Azriel. You stared at him warmly, as a way to distract him from making a strike. You slowly lowered your blade, letting the tip of it kiss the frozen ground.

Stepping closer to him, you breathed slowly as it became a misty cloud in front of you. It was warm and smelled of mint. Azriel could almost taste it. Your noses almost brushed against each other's, dangerously close but not quite. As his eyes fluttered closed for the slightest moment, you took the opportunity to swiftly grasp his sword and step back with both of them in hand. You held his directly at his throat as yours was still touching the ground.

"You should never let your opponent distract you, Az," You clicked your tongue in a way to tsk as he smiled bashfully, his dimples showing.

"Very funny," Azriel stated lowly with a smile before it faded, "Give me my sword." He curled his fingers as a way to gesture for you to hand it over.

You pressed your lips together fighting a smile as you made no such movements to obey.

"Y/N, come on, give it here please," Azriel insisted growing impatient.

"I like the sound of you begging," You smirked, eyes bright blue once again. Azriel noticed and swallowed, seemingly nervous. "Do it again," You said calmly.

"Please," Azriel held out his hand, eyes pleading and pupils dilated. He was enjoying this. You smiled softly and tossed his sword to him with the blade pointed down. He swiftly caught it by the handle and held it up, immediately going for a strike towards you.

You blocked it effortlessly and grunted, using all your might to push his blade down to the left. He stumbled back as you stepped forward, preparing to strike. Your hair fell before your eyes as you swiftly took your sword and started to slash in front of Azriel, just above his groin. It was one of the most sensitive areas to hit in battle, especially on a man.

Azriel backed up quickly, dodging your hit as he used his blade and it clanked with yours. The two of you held that position for a moment, catching breaths. His hazel eyes were bright as he looked into yours.

Your lips curved into a smirk as you took your knee and hurriedly jabbed it into Az's groin. He immediately dropped his sword and held his private on the outside of his Illyrian leathers, groaning as he fell to his knees.

"Oh, I'm sorry," You tossed your sword in the snow and covered your mouth, trying not to laugh. "I meant to aim for your stomach," You spoke apologetically between soft laughs. You knelt down before him and laid a hand against his shoulder.

"I'm fine," Azriel spoke through clenched teeth and a grunt. "That was a good strategy though," He chuckled in pain.

"Just lay stomach down in the snow, the ice might fell better on it," You tried saying it seriously. Azriel looked up to give you a very annoyed expression. You broke out into fits of laughter.

He rolled his eyes and shoved you on your back playfully. You kept laughing as he took a handful of snow, tossing it against your face and stomach.

"Stop! I said I was sorry!" You laughed as you made a horrible attempt to back away. Azriel ignored your helpless pleas as he gripped your sides and squeezed them, tickling you against the ground.

"Az!" You yelped in between laughs. "I'll do it again if you don't stop!" You grabbed a fistful of snow and threw it at his face. He laughed loudly, throwing his head back as his eyelashes and hair were covered in snow.

You giggled breathlessly and sat up as he pulled back from you.

It was rare when Azriel laughed or even genuinely smiled. The two of you somehow always seemed to share a laugh and a playful moment. He was always so solemn and serious; you were able to take him away from that for a few moments at a time.

The two of you were breathless as you slowly scrambled to get up and retrieve your sword. Azriel tried to do the same but wasn't as quick as you. The tip of your sword found his chin as he was still kneeling against the ground. You stood before him with a dangerous smile.

"I believe I won this match," You stated with a grin.

"Is that right?" Azriel smirked as he was slowly reaching for the handle of his sword. His eyes remained on you, pupils dilated and lips parted as he breathed slowly.

"Yes," You quickly lifted his head with your blade as you stared down at him with a dangerous glint in your dark eyes.

Azriel made haste and pulled back from your blade, swinging his sword against it, clanks vibrated against your eardrums. He pushed himself up and off the ground, continuing to spar with you. You had a smile on your face with each dodge and block you made. It was effortless.

It wasn't training or even practice to either of you; truly, it was just plain fun.

.

a/n: i fucking love azriel. i hope you guys like this acotar content!! i read acotar back in january i think?? and i'm in love with azriel. i hope you guys liked this and if you want more acotar content PLEASE lmk because i loved writing this sm :) love yall! — angelina.

#smut #imagine #reader #x reader #edit #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #azriel #rhysand #feyre #cassian #nesta #a court of silver flames #a court of mist and fury #a court of wings and ruin #a court of frost and starlight #acotar x reader #acotar x you #acotar x y/n #azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel x female!reader #fae reader #prythian #sarah j maas #azriel x y/n #rhysand x reader #rhysand x you #rhysand x y/n #rhysand x feyre

[cupidslove1]

Y/N: Guys I almost choked to death last night

Nesta: You’ll be fine. Next time you just have to stay still and breath through your nose before you take more.

Y/N [confused]: … I was talking about choking on food… What are you talking about…?

Nesta:… huh- I was talking about choking on stuff in general…

Cassian : I’m stuff in general.

#nesta x reader #elain acosf #nesta acosf #elain x reader #mor #incorret acotar quotes #incorret quotes #inner circle #acotar #acotar imagine #azriel x y/n #azriel x reader #azriel x female!reader #azriel x you #cassian x y/n #nesta x cassian #nesta archeron #rhysand x feyre #rhysand #rhysand x oc #rhysand x reader #feyreandrhysand #feyre supremacy #feyre cursebreaker #feyre x rhysand #amren acotar #high queen feyre #acotar x you #lucien x you #acotar incorrect quotes

[jeannineee]

Hii it’s me again I’m sorry I just had an addition or a new idea for the Azriel x powerful female reader. Maybe like a ball or smth were they both mostly ignore each other and reader dances with another male character and Azriel takes her to a more quiet place after and then they talk it out which maybe ends in a smut. I’m sorry I’m having many ideas at 3am

Truth

Azriel x Reader

a/n: y’all are really trying to make Azriel take Cassian’s spot as my favorite batboy w/ these ideas. Also, y’all can send in requests for Crescent City and ToG too!! Also small ToG reference at the end lolol. Apologies for any grammar errors, I was tired when I wrote this.

warnings: suggestive throughout, and nsfw towards the end. (18+ please.)

You’ve held nothing but contempt in your heart for the decade that you’ve known the High Lord’s shadowsinger.

When Rhysand invited you into his Inner Circle as an advisor, you hadn’t expected to meet the man you hate most in this world. The man who also happened to be your mate.

Azriel. Stoic. Efficient. Unreadable. Unbearable. Condescending. Infuriating.

The rest of the Inner Circle were shocked to see Azriel’s normally cool, calm demeanor shatter each time you were near. You’d bicker, sneer and snarl at one another on a good day. On a bad day? No one wanted to be near either one of you.

You’d never really taken the time to consider where your loathing of Azriel stemmed from, nor did you care.

But that damned mating bond? That only made things worse. The idea that the Cauldron wanted the two of you together was laughable, to say the least.

You couldn’t deny that Azriel was attractive, to be sure. The broad shoulders, the large, powerful arms. The rock-hard abs—

You snapped yourself out of that train of thought, ignoring that bond raging in your chest at merely the thought of him. It was replaced with frustration as you continued readying yourself for the night.

It was a standard visit to the Hewn City with the Inner Circle. When you met your friends in the foyer of your home, Mor grinned, and Cassian let out a low whistle.

Your dress left little to the imagination. The color complimented your skin; and the dress hugged your body in all the right places. A single breeze though, and you’d be giving the entire Court of Nightmares a good show.

You opened you mouth to speak, but closed it when Azriel appeared between your two friends. You tried to ignore his gaze lingering on your body, tried to ignore how a single look from him made your skin feel like it was on fire.

You noticed Mor stifling a laugh, and you had a sarcastic remark on the tip of your tongue. But it was left unsaid as she suddenly winnowed with you.

Music thrummed throughout the throne room. Guests danced and drank and conversed throughout the space. From the throne, Rhys gave you a friendly nod, and Feyre smiled.

Mor immediately lost herself in the crowd, as did Cassian. Azriel stood beside you, his expression as unfazed as ever. “Do you know what you’re doing tonight?” he asked, voice dripping with disdain as he gave your form a subtle once-over.

You scoffed. “Do you know how to worry about yourself, Azriel?”

“Stop being childish and do your job,” he shot back, his face hardening with anger.

Your lips curled in a snarl, and your vexation worsened as the bond roared in Azriel’s presence. But instead of arguing with him. You straightened yourself out, actually smiling at the shadowsinger.

“You’re right,” you replied sweetly, patting his arm. “I do have a job to do.”

You turned on your heel and made your way into the crowd, intentionally swishing your hips a bit more than normal. You pretended you didn’t feel Azriel’s eyes burning into the back of your head.

After downing a drink with Mor, you danced for a while. In that moment, the bond was little more than a dull ache in your chest. A nuisance, really.

You felt a warm hand brush along your hip, an action that you normally would’ve shied away from. But when you realized that Azriel was intently watching your interaction with this stranger, you decided to play.

The male was lean and tall, with pale skin, and piercing blue eyes. His white hair was perfectly kept. Not your type, but he’ll do.

“What’s your name?” he asked in a low, velvety voice as he casually snaked an arm around your waist.

You wrapped your arms behind the strangers neck, swaying your hips to the beat of the music as you spoke. “Does it matter?”

The stranger gave a feline grin in response. “I suppose not.”

The two of you flirted and danced, and after some time, he asked you to go home with him. You were prepared to turn him down, but confusion painted your expression as the stranger’s eyes grew fearful.

“Leave,” said a cold, lethal voice. Azriel.

The male didn’t need to be told twice. He left immediately, and when you whirled around on Azriel, he has the audacity to be smiling.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” you sneered at him.

Azriel’s smirk remained glued onto his lips, and you were half-tempted to smack it away. “We’re leaving,” he stated simply.

You laugh bitterly. “No.”

Azriel’s smirk dropped. The way he looked at you now had heat pooling between your legs, though you’d never admit that to him.

Azriel sighed, clearly impatient. “You can walk out of here with me, or I can throw you over my shoulder, and you still leave with me. Your choice.”

“Fuck you—“

Azriel had you thrown over his shoulder in seconds, winnowing you to the House of Wind.

“Put me down,” You seethed, struggling against the iron grip he had on the back of your thighs.* “Right fucking now.”

Azriel ignored you, walking through the halls until he reached his bedroom. Only then did he finally put you down. His expression was…you’d never seen him like this. His teeth bared, pupils blown. “Were you going to go home with him? With that fucking—“

“It’s none of your business,” you snapped. “I’m leaving.”

You turned to leave his room, but Azriel’s hand grabbed your wrist.

“No you’re not,” Azriel replied, his voice devoid of its previous anger. He yanked you towards him, one of his hands gathering the hair at the nape of your neck, pulling you back to meet his fiery gaze.

You wanted to spit in his face, to scream and shove and fight. But you didn’t. The bond rumbled in your chest, like it was calling to him. You wondered if he felt it too. The bond…you needed it. You needed him. And he needed you.

Neither of you spoke. Nothing but a silent understanding as the two of you stared at each other. You were still dressed, yet you’d never felt so naked, so vulnerable.

“Azriel…” his name was a broken whisper on your lips. Was it a warning? A plea? You weren’t sure.

His lips were so close to yours that you could feel his breath. If he tilted his head down just a bit more—

No.

“Let me go,” you pleaded, silently cursing yourself for how weak you felt in that moment. You placed your hands on Azriel’s chest. “Please.”

Azriel didn’t move, didn’t waver as he spoke. “I can’t.”

And that was it. His lips crashed into yours, and the bond took form, surging between the two of you.

His kiss was hot and needy and desperate and everything you’ve ever needed. Your dress was on the floor in seconds, and Azriel laid you onto his bed.

He trailed his lips to your neck, biting and sucking small marks into it; claiming you.

You could feel his cock against your thigh, and you gently bucked your hips up against his, trying to ease the ache between your legs.

“Greedy,” he mumbled against your neck, before pulling back to throw your legs over his shoulders. There was a hunger in Azriel’s eyes, but there was something else there, too. Something softer.

His expression would’ve made you turn your head, if he hadn’t brought one of his hands down to gently grip your chin, forcing you to look at him.

“Eyes on me, y/n.”

Your cheeks flushed, and you obeyed, not breaking eye contact as he slowly entered you.

“So fucking wet,” he murmured, running his marred hands along your thighs. “You feel so good, y/n.”

You could only whimper in response, chest heaving as he filled you to the brim. Azriel leaned forward until your knees were against your chest, before unleashing himself.

Azriel pounded into you relentlessly, savoring each of the pretty moans that fell from your lips as the tip of his cock hit your cervix over and over. “This pretty little cunt was made for me,” he growls. “All fucking mine.”

Your hands tightly gripped his biceps—the only stability you had as he brought you closer and closer. “Y-Yes. All yours—fuck, Azriel—all yours.”

Azriel felt his own release approaching, and the way that your walls were squeezing him told him you were right there, too. “Come for me, y/n. Come on my cock.”

Your entire body shuddered as he fucked you through your orgasm, before finishing inside of you.

Azriel released your legs, and they fell limp at his sides. Your bodies were slick with sweat, the only noise in the room being your heavy breathing.

The weight of what the two of you had done finally set in, but you didn’t dare open your mouth.

Azriel meets your gaze again, his eyes softer than they’ve ever been. He knows what you’re thinking.

“We’re—“

“Mates,” you finish his sentence.

You’re both silent for a moment, studying one another, as though you’re both an equation that the other is struggling to solve.

It’s you who breaks the silence. “How do you feel about that?”

Azriel pondered for a moment. “It scared me, before. The idea that someone could be so connected to me.”

“And now?”

“I want to be with you. I think I always have.”

You nodded, you heart swelling at his words. “Me too,” you reply, your voice barely a whisper.

Azriel chuckled. “We were both pretty terrible at expressing that, then.”

He kissed your forehead, and for the first time, you allowed yourself to feel him through the bond. And he did the same.

“We have a lot of time to make up for,” you said, running your hands along his chest.

Azriel smiled. “We have all the time in the world.”

#acotar #female reader #smut #azriel acotar #acotar azriel #acotar smut #azriel x female!reader #azriel x reader #rhysand #Feyre #Cassian acotar #acotar headcanon #azriel shadowsinger #acotar fanfiction

[artists-ally]

{Weather} Azriel x Reader

Hello people! My name is Ally and I am proud to enter the ACOTAR world with a bang. I've been writing for years and years now and thought eh fuck it why not start posting it.

So here I am. 100% not expecting this to go anywhere but if it does, come give me a shout! I'd love to hear what y'all have to say about it or hear your ideas for fic recommendations.

There isn't a whole lot of plot, just a thought that turned into another and I connected them. Enjoy!

Word Count ~ 7,523

Warnings ~ Language, blood, hurt/comfort, fluff, violence/fighting, lets all pretend that you can winnow inside the House of Wind for a sec pls.

Summary ~ You have been encompassed into the Inner Circle after the Spring Court went to shit. During a dry stead between the Queens and Hybern, Azriel was sent on a mission to the Mortal Lands to see what was going on. There is little he can do to hide his rather harsh expedition. Set during ACOWAR, you provide a level of comfort for the shadowsinger that no one else is capable of.

~~~~~

All of us are sitting around the House of Wind, relaxing after another brutal day of training. I had been with Cassian, Mor with Rhysand and Feyre, Amren off doing Amren things. Azriel was… nowhere to be found. 

It’s been a few days since anyone has heard from him. We know he’s been spying in the Queen’s territory, but to not have a check in or for him to not come home to rest for days on end is concerning.

But what makes my gut churn is the smell of blood coming from upstairs. 

Azriel’s blood. 

Rhys and Cass get a whiff of their brothers' carnage and exchange a worried look with me. The three of us winnow up to his room and knock on his door.

“Az?” Cass says softly.

No response.

“Azriel, it’s Rhys, open the door,” Rhysand knocks a little harsher than Cassian had. 

No response. They can hear his labored breathing and groans, and the smell of blood. They didn’t bother to knock a third time. When his door unlocked on a phantom wind, the sight was horrifying. Az peered over his shoulder at the curse coming from Cass, and shook his head.

“I don’t want visitors,” he mumbled, trying to stand, but failing to do so. Rhys and Cassian rushed to his side, helping him sit back down. I remained in the doorway. Staring at his wings.

They were a little mangled to say the least. Cuts and scratches littered the delicate leather, some puncture wounds oozed trickles of blood and puss. 

“What in the name of the Cauldron happened?” Cassian demanded from the shadowsinger. 

“Tree snare, Mortal lands are littered with them,” He groaned. “I’m fine, please just- please leave.”

He never begged quite like that before. The desperation was a foreign thing to his tongue. He tried to straighten his spine, but it did no such thing. He hissed at the jarring of his wings, and settled into the curves of his hunched over position.

He looked awful. 

“Az, we can’t just leave you like this. We can get Madja in here-”

“No,” he plead again, tone more harsh than the last. “No… leave. I don’t want any help.”

Typical of Az to say such a thing. The quiet, reserved male was always so adamant about doing things on his own he forgot that sometimes it’s better to ask for help than to suffer in silence. Especially when it comes to such a delicate and sensitive body part. 

But alas, the two brothers nodded, stepping around the third and heading to the door. I moved out of their way, but not with them. I just continue to stare at his toned, berated back. 

“Yn…” he called out. “Don’t make me beg you too.”

I stiffened. 

I knew how hard this must be for him. To turn down his friends, to turn down aid. I don’t know Azriel very well, not like the others did after spending five centuries with him. But maybe that would… I don’t know

“I won’t say anything,” I promised. “Just let me clean you up, is all I’m asking.”

He sighed heavily, hanging his head in his hands, but he nodded. I quickly shut the door behind me and moved to the bathroom. Under his sink there was a little brown pouch with all kinds of medical supplies. I grabbed some towels and a bowl of hot water appeared by his feet. When I walked back into the main area, he had his chin fastened on his fist, looking out the big window. 

I stood next to him laying the open bag next to him so I could rummage through it. There were some wipes, some bandages and some thick cloth pads. I ripped open as many as I thought I needed and began to apply pressure to the wounds on his arms and shoulders. 

Az held a few while I drenched a cloth with the warm water and began to clean off the dirt and sap. 

He didn’t even seem to breathe, to even blink as I ran the cloth up and down his right arm, ditching it on the floor when it was too dirty to continue. I repeated my steps until the majority of him was clean. The bleeding had stopped for the most part and I applied an adhesive pad to the area to keep it covered. I couldn’t smell any infection on them so it was okay to conceal the wounds. Had there been a sticky, yellow goo then they would need to drain. 

Then I looked at his wings.

They weren’t shredded, but they were not in good condition by any means. They looked so painful.

I silently moved to the opposite side of the bed, kneeling into the mattress and spreading out more supplies.

“I-” he started, “please be gentle…”

“Of course,” I nodded, resting my hand on his shoulder to try and get them to relax. They sagged a bit, but didn’t stay there long. The second my fingers grazed the smooth flesh, he jumped.

“Sorry, sorry,” I mumbled, retracting my hands. “What hurts?”

“No, no it’s not painful, just very sensitive, I’ll try to hold still,” he apologized, displaying his wings, stretching them out all the way as if to brace them against the bed. They were massive. And most of the small cuts and snags littered the top and middle of the span, not towards the bottom. 

“This might sting a little, if it’s too much, tell me, and I’ll stop.”

He nodded, clutching the tops of his knees. His breathing was hard as I dabbed the first cotton ball to the sore area. It had been rubbed raw from Mother knows what. 

There had to be hundreds of them, if not a thousand scrapes and scratches. But they all didn’t need tending to, they would heal just fine. There were a few that I was concerned about and applied something to keep the bacteria from spreading. 

I gently slid my hand to his shoulder, pressing it down from his ear, telling him it was okay, that he was alright. 

He listened, settling down. I knew he must be in a lot of pain. There wasn’t much that I could’ve done beside what I did, but I did as much as I could to ease the tension. I summoned another rag and gently cleaned the skin on his back, wiping the mud baked onto his skin. Az relaxed more at that.

“I know it’s not really my place to ask, but if you would like to share what happened, I will patiently listen, Azriel. If not, I’ll enjoy the silence with you,” I offered, my hands coming to his shoulders, massaging the thick muscle.

He groaned in satisfaction, dipping his head forward and sagging downward. His arms slumped to his side as I drove my knuckle between the fibrous strands. Az ground his teeth, breathing with every knot I worked from his body. I drove my thumb in and around the base of his wings, careful not to brush against them.

Cassian had once told how sensitive Illyrian wings were. Why they were so sensitive. It made my cheeks blush, which I was taunted for endlessly. 

Azriel sucked in a breath.

I had been too busy thinking about all the things Cass and Rhys had teased me with and my thumb slipped, brushing the delicate nerves at the base of his spine. I could see the goosebumps etch his bronze skin. 

“S-Sorry,” I stuttered, fingers trembling, struggling to resume. “Do you need anything else? Can I get you something to drink or eat?”

I stood before he had a chance to say otherwise. I didn’t, truly didn’t, mean to brush over the hyper-sensitive area. 

Azriel just looked up at me with full eyes. They looked like strangers, not the deep, fierce set of hazel that I had come to know. They were like the shadows that whispered in his ear. There hadn’t been a glimpse of them in the hour or so that I’d been here tending to him. It’s as if they’ve vanished. 

His eyes were bright, filled with his pupils in a way that made him seem feline. Like a true predator hunting in the pit of night. 

“I…” Az started, swallowing hard before his eyes darted between mine. “Will you stay? Please?”

He reached his hand to grab mine, and I let him, his warm, scarred hands engulfing mine. I nodded precisely, a smile playing on my lips. He seemed to deflate then, a weight being lifted off his shoulders and he dragged me closer, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his head against my stomach. 

I let my arms fall over his shoulders, the strands of his inky black hair finding its way into my fingers. I tangled it between my digits gently, letting the soft curls form as I brushed them away, repeating the process. 

I had no idea how long we stayed there for, but enough for the once dimly lit room to ignite with fae light as the sun set over the Sidra. 

Azriel began to tug me closer. I had no choice but to crawl into his lap, letting my weight rest over one of his legs as he clung to me. 

I didn’t dare try and break this moment. 

I nestled into the dip between his shoulder and neck, letting my eyes lull shut as his warm body did the same. I let my thumbs brush against the smooth skin on the back of his shoulder, wanting to press a kiss there, but… not my place, I reminded myself. 

I had always cared for the Illyrian more than the others had. Was always the one wondering if what his shadows were whispering were things to him or about him. I knew he had a traumatic pass, and I knew he suffered a great deal during the early years of his immortal life, but things were… they weren’t great, but we were in a lull. With Hybern. Things were stalled so we took this time to cut back.

Not Az. He was always spying somewhere, reporting on new territories siding with us or the King, but nothing more. We all knew he needed a break, but never took one. It was frustrating. 

He shifted on the bed, then I felt a gust of wind encase my body. 

His wings enveloped me entirely.

I had not expected it. I was shocked to say the least. I tensed for a moment, and he must have sensed it because he began to retreat.

“No, no” I said, adjusting myself on his muscular thigh for a moment. “Put them back.”

He answered with the leathery wings covering us completely. I settled into the warmth, the soft scent they admitted. I had never felt so safe in my entire life, so completely safe and comforted. 

I didn’t know a lot about Illyrian tradition since I had been encompassed into the inner circle, but I knew enough that it was a great honor to see a pair of wings up close, let alone touch them. If he had let me do that, gods only knew what this meant.

I felt a tear hit my shirt. I heard him sniffle, then hiccup in a breath.

“Azriel…” I breathed out slowly, gripping him tighter as he clung to me, the sobs wracking through his body. He gasped for a breath every now and then, the tears falling faster with every breath. 

He cried for a long while. I wasn’t even sure if he knew how to do that. To cry, to be vulnerable with anyone. 

“It’s okay, Az, I’m here, I’m right here Az it’s okay,” I soothed, twisting his hair around my fingers once again. His breathing seemed to even out at that, sobs reduced to trickling tears and sniffles. 

I didn’t know what to do. 

I didn’t know what to say.

Thankfully, he spoke. “I don’t know what you did, Yn… but you made the shadows go away. It is so quiet without their roar in my ear. In my bones… everything is silent. There are no whispers, no murmurs of potential threat. It is all quiet.”

My heart thundered in my chest so hard I thought it might break my rib cage. There were no words to describe the feeling in my body. I gripped him even tighter.

His hands stroked up and down my sides, gently nudging me to pull off. I did, meeting his glossy eyes and tear stained cheeks. His hand ever so gently came up to my face, fingers barely touching the surface of my skin as he looked into my eyes. So deep I thought he might see my thoughts. 

“Thank you,” was all he said. I nodded and smiled, tucking the hair behind his ears. “Besides Madja and my own mother, I have never let anyone touch my wings. Not even Rhys or Cassian. They are… my entire world. The most prized possession any Illyrian could hoist. They are my ticket to anywhere in the world and I let you touch them without a second thought.”

My eyes had widened at that. 

“In 500 years,” I gaped, “you’ve never let either of them touch your wings? Once?”

He shook his head, “Never. It is a privilege that few get to experience. Typically just mothers to their newborns, but once you learn to fly, you’re old enough to take care of them on your own. It becomes our responsibility to keep them safe and keep them clean. Of course there may be a medical need, but other than that, they are not to be touched. Only mates have that sacred right.”

My heart clenched. 

I’ve only been a part of this group since the middle of the war. I had left the Spring Court when Feyre had planted those lies. They spread to my territory and we all went our separate way. For the better. I chose to come and fight for what we all knew was right. I can’t say the same for the rest of my family. 

I had managed to hitch a few rides to Summer, right before Adrita was attacked. I fought alongside them, and none of them knew that I was from Spring besides Feyre. She had recognized me for the Tithe. We instantly connected and she offered me sanctuary with them while we fought against Hybern. I had exceptional knowledge of the Spring Court and The Wall, of who was going where and when. 

When we came back to Velaris, I was introduced to Amren, who just briefly looked up from that book, took a sip from a gauntlet, gave me a cold once-over, and went right back to the book. 

Nesta was much the same.

Elain hadn’t said much either, just asked me if I knew anything about the human lands. I was later informed on her betrothed. It made my heart hurt. 

Mor was undoubtedly my best friend. She really helped me get settled here in Velaris. She was the one to pick me up time and time again when I didn’t think I could go on. 

Rhysand was more of a gentleman than anyone painted him to be, especially all those years Under The Mountain. He was not a hostile homicidal maniac like Amarantha had painted for him. He was gentle, and kind, only being capable of those horrible things when he needed to be. 

Cassian was… well, Cassian. Big, strong, charming as ever. Dumber than a pile of rocks but a brute of a man nonetheless. He was my other best friend. My go-to drinking buddy and my favorite person to beat at cards. I would come with him and Nesta to Windhaven. He was not merciful. 

And then there was Azriel. He rarely spoke when he wasn’t prompted. He kept to himself, to those shadows, and wasn’t one for conversation. I had only spoken to him three or four times. Most of them during the war, once during Solstice to give him his gift. It was usually just… so, between us. 

Until now.

Until he let me touch his wings. 

Could it have been a possibility that-

As if he knew what I was thinking, “I didn’t know how to bring it up to you, Yn. I didn’t want to at first, cause I didn’t think you felt anything. Any type of bond. And I certainly didn’t want to bring it up right in the middle of the war, risk death, and then leave you alone forever. I couldn’t bring myself to leave you with that type of pain.”

My eyes stung. My heart thundered. Every fiber in my body became aware of just how close I was to him. I took in a deep breath, eyes blinking rapidly.

“If you… I don’t know if that is what you want,” he hesitated. “If I am what you want, but you are everything I’ve ever needed, Yn. You are the sunshine to my dark and hazy life. The only thing that can make my deep, roaring shadows disappear. Completely. It is calm and utterly silent when you are near. And when I get to hold you… Cauldron Yn, it is like a fresh breath of air. Like a torrential rain to my wildfire. It hasn’t been this quiet inside my body since the day I was born.”

There was nothing I could do to stop the tears from flowing. They hit the clothing between us, saturating the fabric and then drying. I didn’t know what to say. And I could tell that was killing him, my silence. He tensed beside me, gripping my arms a little tighter.

“Yn” he breathes, so softly. So gently than anyone ever had. 

I looked into his eyes, finding them to be so much more breathtaking than I did a little while ago.

“I don’t know what to say, Azriel,” I chuckled lightly. “I’m shocked, I just thought that you and Mor…”

“No,” he shook his head adamantly, “Not us. Not ever, I’m afraid. I spent a long time trying to… coax her, but she never budged. I decided I needed to look for someone else. For you.”

I smiled greatly. 

“Stay with me, tonight,” he grabbed both of my hands, placing kisses to each of them before folding them against his heart. “Let me give this to you, slowly, at your own pace. It is yours, Yn. It always has been. Let it be yours, if you choose.”

His eyes, glowing and begging me to say something. When he pressed his lips to my hands, I could feel my chest tighten in a way it hadn’t before, constrict around itself until it let loose and erupted from within. Everything I had hoped for, spent countless hours dreaming of, pestering my mother about stories of when she found out my father was her mate, came true at that moment. 

An unrelenting pull in his direction, a deceptively overwhelming feeling of trust and sureness that seemed to never end crashed through me. It was like I was looking at him for the first time. Like I opened my eyes and the first images I was blessed with seeing were of him, of Azriel, this shadowsinger and spymaster of the Night Court. 

A piece of a puzzle locked into place, one that I hadn’t even known existed yet. And here it was, front and center in my mind, so clear it almost blinded me. 

All I could do was smile. Smile and nod my head as I watched his teeth flash before he wrapped me up in his arms. He giggled, tossing me over his shoulder and rolling me around on his enormous bed. I laughed and laughed, letting him pepper my skin with kisses. 

“You have no idea how long I have waited for this, Yn,” He sighed, propping himself up on one elbow, clutching my fingers in the other. “How long I have needed a mate.”

“I think I might have an idea,” I smiled, tucking some hair behind his ear. He rolled his eyes, scooping me up and laying me on top of his chest.

Cauldron knows how long we stayed like that for, just talking and smiling at each other, kissing every now and then. When I grew too tired to keep my head up, his wings encased me again, that soft, musky scent circling around me. 

“Rest, my Yn,” he whispered, his arms coming around my waist. “We can talk all day tomorrow.”

+++++++

The sun made him look like the most perfect shade of bronze. His dark, inky hair was a mess over his eyes, his tattoos swirling across his shoulders. His wings were still folded around me, keeping my body pressed to his all night long. 

Azriel slept, another thing I wasn’t sure he actually knew how to do. 

I shifted my legs around, detangling them from his. He groaned, but let them go, only tightening his grip around my torso.

“Az,” I whispered, "we need to get up, training is in an hour.”

“Five more minutes,” he grumbled, tucking his head beneath my chin. The hair on his head smelled like the Sidra; salty and lemony. So calming and soothing. I let him, and myself, have a few more minutes, just basking in each other. But I eventually did have to be the fun killer.

“I’m sure Cassian will understand if you don’t want to train today, but I unfortunately don’t have any excuse. I have to get ready and go eat before I go. Let me up, please.”

He let go reluctantly, making a big huff as I climbed away from him.

I laughed, “You know I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”

“Yes, but I wanted to spend this morning with you. I want to spend all my time with you.”

My heart swooned. “Come to breakfast with me. Even if you don’t want to train you can still come and watch.”

Azriel rolled his eyes, but followed me nonetheless. I got changed into my fighting leathers, and Az strolled behind me to the dining room. I greeted everyone like I normally would, as did Azriel. They could instantly tell, because he wore a smile on his lips the entire meal, taking up the empty seat next to me, which normally was Mor’s.

When she strolled in, she gave him a high eyebrow and he shrugged. She looked at me and I had to suck my lips into my mouth to keep from cackling out. I mouthed ‘I'll tell you later’.

When I rose from my seat, so did Azriel, following me into the kitchen.

“When will you be back?” He asked softly, cradling me close.

“By noon, Mor and I have some work we need to do at Rita’s,” I responded, falling into his warmth. “Are you going to be alright here?”

He nodded against my shoulder, “I just don’t want you to go, is all. I’m enjoying the peace and quiet.”

My heart sank at that. I was just happy to offer him at least some moments of rest in his utterly chaotic life. If I was able to give him any sort of relief, I’d stop at nothing to make sure that he has access to it whenever he pleases. Who was I to deny him of that?

He stepped away, pressing his lips into my forehead a few times. 

“Have a good training session, please don’t get beat up too bad, I have plans for later,” he smiled, rubbing the sides of my arms.

“Oh?” I tilted my head.

“It’s a surprise, now get going, Cass is waiting for you.”

“Don’t blow a gasket when I come back with bruises from him,” I chuckled. 

He straightened, real concern coming into his eyes. “Maybe I should come-”

“No, no I’ll be okay,” I explained. “Cassian has beat my ass more times than I could count and you were able to hold it in. I’ll be fine, it’s never anything too bad anyway, nothing I can’t handle. I'd really rather not see you bash his face in because he got in a couple of good shots.”

That didn’t make it any better. His grip tightened, his eyes narrowed, and his jaw clenched. 

“Hey!” Cassian called from down the hall. “Put your lover's quarrel on hold, we gotta go, Yn. If you’re not out here in 30 seconds I’ll make you go up and down the steps every second you’re late.”

I rolled my eyes, impatient bastard.

“I need to go,” I said, removing his hands from my body. “I will come find you when I’m back. Try and relax, okay? I’ll be fine, you know that.”

He just nods briefly before stepping out of the way to let me pass. He caught my elbow at the last second, kissing me so intensely I thought I might fall over. When he let me go, he was smirking like a cat. 

++++++

The bond must have already been slipping into place because I could feel this agonizing pull back to the House of Wind. But it also felt like he was right here with me. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was spying from the shadows, something for him and I to talk about later.

Cassian and I had gone through our normal workouts, doing footwork drills and some strength training. But of course, even after almost collapsing to the floor himself, he wanted to spar. 

“Can’t we just skip it for today?” I begged, rolling my head to look at him. 

“Nope,” he said with a grin. “You need more practice, and I know it’ll come in handy against Hybern. If you ever find yourself without a weapon, all you’ll have is your fists. And seeing the look on Az’s face will be priceless.”

“You know,” it wasn’t really a question.

“I’ve known before he has,” Cassian huffed. “I pointed it out to him after about three times of you being near him. His shadows always disappeared and I found him staring at you. He didn’t even realize, said that he hadn’t even noticed things were quiet because he was too busy thinking of you.”

My heart lurched in my chest, filling with pride and triumph. “I don’t know what it is that I do.”

“Nothing,” he shrugged. “That is the whole point of being a mate, things just simply work.”

“I have given it a ton of thought in the past, about what it would feel like to have a mate, to have a bond with someone. It’s… so much different than I expected it to be. I miss him so much more than I thought I would. I thought I’d be able to ignore it, but I can’t.”

“Welcome to having a mate,” Cassian snickered, taking up a fighting stance. I followed suit, circling around him and dodging his blows. I wasn’t lucky enough to escape them all, one particularly hard kick sent me to my knees, and then Cassian was on top of me. 

He flatten me like a bug and flipped me on my back. His forearm pressed into my throat, cutting off oxygen. I coughed, blood rushing to my face, my vision darkening. 

“Come on, Yn, what have I taught you to do?” he pressed further into my esophagus. I drove my knee as hard as I could into his crotch, causing him to hiss, loosening his grip, faltering. 

I smacked him as hard as I could in the face, sending him toppling to the ground. It had been hard, harder than I really meant to. I could see his eyes darken as he rose to his feet, really wanting a challenge now. He started to run towards me, and I braced myself for the impact, but it never came. 

I saw a shadow blurr by and Cassian was vaulted 12 feet in the air. He made a dent in the earth as he drove through the soil. In seconds, he was encased in tendril like smoke. One that I recognized all too well.

“Az-”

“I am going to kill you,” the voice was so foreign. Azriel straddled Cassian as he held him up by the collar of his shirt. “How dare you put your hands on my mate.”

I climbed through the ropes of the ring as fast as I could, jumping down and off the platform. I sprinted the distance between us as fast as I could. I screamed his name, but couldn’t hear me over the roar of the shadows. 

Before I could get there, Cassian had thrown him off and was ready to fight. The two went at each other so hard I was genuinely worried that Azriel was going to hurt him. I didn’t know what else to do, so I took off towards the townhouse. 

I barged in the door, huffing puffing, and red faced as the door smacked off the wall. 

“Cauldron alive, Cassian, how many times have I told you not- Yn?” Rhysand’s eyes immediately softened. “Are you alright?” “I was sparring with Cassian and Azriel came out of nowhere,” I rushed, barely able to speak over my labored breathing. “Last night he told me I’m his mate and I think he might actually kill-”

“Oh shit,” Rhys cursed, grabbing my arm and winnowing us both to the sight. They were still scrapping, both bleeding from the face. Azriel looked like an animal, and Cass looked like he was genuinely afraid. I haven’t ever seen him look like this, either of them. 

Rhys threw himself in the middle, trying to get Azriel’s attention. He paid no mind to his High Lord, throwing him off his back as he lunged for Cassian again. I went to step in, to try and get his attention but-

“Yn no,” Rhysand shouted from a few feet away. That caught Azriel’s attention quickly. He looked up from where he had Cassian in a chokehold, eyes locking with mine. In a second, he vanished from Cass and appeared behind me. His arms were strong and tight around my middle. A snarl ripped from his chest as Cassian rose to his shaky feet. 

His shadows encased us, creating a shield. He took staggering steps back, inhaling and exhaling so hard I thought he might pass out. Rhysand moved to check on his brother, Cassian battering him away as he wiped his nose with the back of his hand.

“Azriel,” I said through a hurried breath. “Az it’s me, it’s me.”

He inhaled deep, scenting the air, letting out a deep breath. His grip loosened and he said my name like an old forgotten prayer. 

The shadows vanished immediately, his heavy body leaning against mine. 

“Yn…” he breathed, turning me around. I shrugged his hands off of me, more than pissed at him for barging and attempting to kill his brother. 

“Go inside,” I said, turning away from him. 

“Yn please-” “I don’t wanna hear it from you,” I shouted, eyes blazing. He took a small step back, ears flattening back against his head, wings tucking in tightly to his body. 

“That’s right, shadowsinger, go back-”

“Not another word from you either,” I snarled at Cassian. He, too, jumped in his skin. “You have nothing to brag about either. Don’t you dare put your hands on my mate like that again.”

Silence rippled around us. Rhys lifted his hand, opened his mouth to say something, but the glare I sent him had him scratching the back of his head quickly. 

“I swear to the Mother that if anything happens while I’m with Mor at Rita’s, I’ll kick all of your asses myself. And don’t think for a second that I won’t drag Feyre into this either.”

That was more than enough to get the Illyrians to look the other way, words forgotten in their minds. I turned on my heel and grabbed my water from the corner before stalking off down the street to find Mor. 

++++++

“He just appeared out of thin air?” Mor’s eyes were wide.

I nodded, “It was like he was waiting for something to happen. He would have killed Cassian, I’m sure of it, if Rhys hadn’t been there, and said my name to snap Az out of it.”

“Sounds like someone needs a little time alone with their new mate,” Mor’s eyebrows waggled on her forehead. I smacked her arm and she boomed a laugh. “I’m just suggesting.”

“It hasn’t even been a day since he told me, Mor, and he’s acting like he owns me. Rhys didn’t dare do this with Feyre,” I shook my head. 

“Well,” she countered. “Rhys did almost kill Cassian once.”

“I know, I’ve heard the story a million times,” I sighed. “But that was after the Weaver and all that. They had mated and had time for the bond to be in place. There weren’t any problems until that and Az and I have barely kissed a handful of times. That’s it. How can he be this… territorial?”

“Az is unexplainably protective. Of all of us. Before you came along he was like that with all of us. In a different way, but… he’d never let any of us volunteer before he looked into it or did it himself. It is rooted deep within him, in a way none of us will understand.” “Even so, it doesn’t make it okay for him to do what he did.” “I don’t disagree,” she added, “but just try and understand where he is coming from. Yn, you are the only one who he has come across that can make his head silent. To stop the shadows and the constant whispers. I don’t know about you, but if that were me, I’m sure I’d do everything in my power to make sure nothing ever happens to my peace and quiet.”

+++++

When I came back with More, she bid me good luck before Winnowing herself back down to the Townhouse.

I came to the main dining room, Cassian, Rhysand and Feyre all sitting at the table. 

“Okay, what the hell happened today?” Feyre demanded, noticing the bruises on my neck. 

“I’m surprised you don’t already know,” I snorted, letting down my shields so she could see it all. She flinched slightly when Az landed a particularly brutal blow to Cassian’s face. It sent blood spewing from his mouth.

“Has anyone seen him?” I asked with a sigh. No one answered, but I heard something. I whipped my head from side to side, this deafening roar in my ears. 

“What?” Rhysand asked. 

“You all don’t hear that?” I asked, eyes wide as I searched for the thunderous sound. I listened deeper and deeper, not hearing any words. I suddenly felt a chill in my bones so cold I thought I’d freeze right there. There were so many voices and whispers. 

I looked up to the set of grand stirs and noticed the shadows lurking at the top. 

Azriel… 

I sprinted up the stairs, the tendrils leading me down the hall and to his room. When I opened the door, the room was almost pitch black, shadows swirling around and around like an endless storm over the Sidra. 

I tried to push my way through, but I rebound off of it like a shield. I tried again, screaming his name. He was in the center. And I had no way of getting to him. I began to panic, shouting for him louder and louder.

Nothing, no response from my shadowshinger. I took a deep breath and shoved my body against the wall, bouncing off of it immediately. I slammed hard against the floor, back groaning as I pushed myself to all fours. I tried to crawl, but it was no use, it flung me back and into the hallway where Ryhs, Cassian, and Feyre were all standing, Mor popping up next to her.

“What the fuck-” Mor gasped, seeing it for herself. 

“He’s in there,” I heaved, “Mor I can’t get to him what do I do?”

She was at a loss for words and Rhys slid beside her, taking it all in. He did nothing to hide his wide eyes and frantic look. His own shadows rose and tried to comfort the tempest, but failed. The roar in my ears grew so loud I couldn’t hear whatever Rhysand said to me. I tried to read his lips, follow the bond.

I felt deep inside, it was so cold. If I didn’t know any better I wouldn’t have known anything was there at all. I pulled and pulled and pulled and pulled. I must have screamed because everyone around me flinched. I went slack against the wall and covered my ears, calling out for Azriel. Begging for him to come to me. 

A flicker. I felt a flicker of warmth in my chest. Against my soul, I felt a tug, as if he too was pulling on the same thread that ties us together. I pulled faster and faster until I slammed into something so hard I gasped. 

It was rock solid, something so impenetrable, like magic itself. I beat on it with everything I had, prying at it with my whole being until it began to give away. I tore this wall apart, it grew warmer and warmer-

She doesn’t want a mate, she doesn’t want me…

There is no meaning if I do not have her to protect, she doesn’t want me to protect her.

Useless, dumb, bastard born Illyrian filth.

Rhysand and Cassian should have left you in that acid bath and left you to dissolve into nothing. They should not have saved someone so vain and cowardly.

These were not my thoughts, but they sure felt like it. I looked towards the swirling wind and shadow, finally seeing Azriel at the center, crumbled to the floor, hands over his ears. 

“Azriel,” I shouted. He didn’t move.

“What’s happening?” Rhysand asked, helping me to stand on my feet.

“I-I don’t know I just felt this rush of thoughts and now I can see him but he can’t hear me,” I felt the tears in my eyes. He looked around, as if searching for his own thoughts, but then he stood rigid, throwing a glance at Cassian. They seemed to share a thought before Rhys turned back to me. 

“Speak in your mind,” he said hurriedly. “You have to talk to him in your mind.”

“Wha-”

“Just do it,” he urged, and I turned back to face the raging storm. 

Azriel… I whispered. 

I watched him flinch, hand bracing on the corner of his bed. His eyes and cheeks were wet with tears when they met mine. 

Yn… 

Az you have to take this down so I can get to you, I begged, it’s too strong for me to get through let me in.

He went silent.

Az please let me in. I can make the shadows go away, remember? I can make all of this go away, you just have to calm it down enough for me to get to you.

I can’t.

Why?

I am the shadows, and they are me.

“What is he saying?” Rhysand asked. 

“He just said he can't tame them, that he is the shadows and they are him,” I shook my head, threading my fingers in my hair. “I can help him but I can’t get to him.”

“Do you trust me?” he asked, eyes wary.

“With my life, High Lord,” I said, because it was true. 

He grabbed my hand and the familiar hollowness of winnowing encased me. He tried to drop me right next to Az, but it seemed to be warded. I was instantly flung away from him and hit the wall so hard I saw stars. Feyre came to my side immediately as the bright light in the hallway dimmed. 

I forced myself up and boiled with rage. How dare he, my mate, keep me from him. I trudged forward, a small limp to my gate but I kept on pressing, despite the protests from behind me. I came to the whirling wind and shadow, staring at it. 

I placed my palm against it and closed my eyes. 

I know this is you, shadowsinger. These shadows, this wall… but it is not Azriel, not my mate. He would never keep me away. He’d want me right next to him, holding him as we weather this storm together. I know you are one in the same, and I know I make you go away and you are angry. He is the shadows, and you are him. I am his mate, meaning he is a part of me. I am the sun that casts the shadows you need. I am the maker of your shadows. Without one there cannot be another, without my mate there is no one to harness your strength. Let me in, let me cast the sunshine so that your shadows may sing once again.

There was almost a noise of discontent before the roar in my ear withered away. It disbanded like fog in the early spring mornings. The wind and shadows misted away, the room and hallway no longer swirling in a veil of darkness. 

In the center of the room shook Azriel, arms trembling as he looked around at the sudden brightness. 

I didn’t know I even gave my feet permission to move until I was collapsing into his lap. I hiccuped a sob so hard I thought my lungs burst open. 

Azriel buried his face into my neck, breath just as ragged. I cried uncontrollably, crushing him with my arms, I’m sure. 

I felt warmth and tenderness encase my body. I felt a tap against my shields and I let them down, welcoming Az’s shadows without a second thought. His thoughts became mine, and vice versa. There wasn’t a part of us in that moment that wasn’t connected. Our minds, our hearts, our souls seemed to tangle in each other. 

It must’ve been a long while before we detangled because everyone had left. 

I, begrudgingly, pulled myself from him, sitting up to look at his tear stained face.

“Don’t you dare do something like that ever again,” I breathed, resting my forehead against his. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be that harsh with Cassian-”

“What?” I asked, brows knitting together. “No no no, not that, whatever the hell that shadow wall was.”

“You’re not mad at me for beating the shit out of Cassian?” He asked, equally as confused.

“Well,” I sighed. “I’m not happy about it, but for the love of the Mother if you ever shut me out like that again, when I break through, I will kill you.”

It was a promise so deep even he knew it was true. He just nodded, kissing both of my cheeks before my lips. 

“I’m sorry, Yn,” a tear trickled down my face. “I saw Cassian choking you and on top of you and it blinded me with a rage so unexplainable. I don’t even remember doing it. It was an afterthought by the time I came out of it. And you looked so infuriated at me I just- I panicked. It had been so quiet for a good while it was like I forgot about the shadows entirely and they took over my being. It was so foreign and strange and they rained down upon me with such vengeance-”

“I know, I know,” I said, combing his hair with my fingers. “We… had a talk. We came to an agreement.”

“Agreement? A bargain?” he asked, a little concerned. 

I shook my head, “no, not a bargain. We just saw eye to eye on things. A favor, I guess you could call it.” I let the words I had once spoken filter into his mind. Azriel had this starry look in his eyes when the words were over with. 

“You talked to the shadows…” he said, a smile tugging at the corner of his lip. “H-How did you-”

“Rhys tried to winnow me to you but it must’ve been warded because the next thing that I knew was the wall against my back,” I hissed as his hands crept up my shoulder. His touch was featherlight as he examined, lifting up my shirt to reveal the bruises forming along my spine. 

“Yn… Yn I am so sorry I hurt you…” his eyes feel so dark, I worried for a second that another tempest was coming. 

“No, Azriel look at me,” I grabbed his face between my hands and made him look up at me. “This was not your fault. You and the shadows are not the same thing. You two, like I said, may share the same being, but you are not your shadows. You are Azriel, my Azriel.”

The color came back to his eyes almost instantly. There was a new set of tears in his face as he landed on my chest, arms tightening around my waist. 

“Thank you, Yn… for seeing me, not just the shadows.”

#ally writes #praying that the tags will bring me some traction #azriel #azriel shadowsinger #azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel x female!reader #acotar fanfiction #acotar fanfic #acowar #acotar fandom #a court of thorns and roses #sjm #rhysand #cassian acotar #feyre archeron #writing #writeblr

[foxglovebells]

Lost Star

Azriel x Rhysand!Sister Reader

Summary: Rhys’s mother and sister, Y/n, were kidnapped and murdered by Tamlin’s family centuries ago. Everyone mourned their deaths but especially Azriel. His mate’s death had changed him and he was never truly the same, he still held onto the hope that you were still alive. Turns out he was right.

Warnings: Slight mentions of torture/blood/violence

Notes: This doesn’t follow the plot of Acotar exactly, many small details are also changed. This will be the part 1 of I don’t know how long of a series yet. Ignore any typos 😬 Enjoy:)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

****************************************************

Azriel had seen and experienced a lot of violence in his life. He had felt so much pain and suffering. His wings had been shredded on multiple occasions. He had been held in a dungeon and tortured for days. He had come to deaths door step more times than he can count.

But nothing, nothing, compared to the pain of feeling his mating bond with you break. The pain of his heart collapsing as yours stopped beating. The feeling of his soul shredding and his humanity being ripped away from him. You were his everything, and you been taken from him.

Your death was the first time he had cried in centuries. Azriel and Rhys cried together, for the loss of the person they both loved the most in this world. Your beautiful soul too pure for this corrupt world.

Since that day Azriel has been in denial. He felt the bond break, he felt you die. But somehow he still felt a whisper, a small shadow of the bond still remained. The beautiful golden string gone, but as if it still lingered. Perhaps it was his minds way of coping, of giving him hope that you were still out there.

When he has told Rhys of this, he had shut him down. “You’re in denial, brother, I know it’s difficult to process, but we both felt her die, we both felt her heart stop. She’s gone.” Rhys wrapped Azriel in his arms as he cried again, and again, and one day he just stopped. Stopped feeling.

Over the decade he’s started to heal, he’s started to let himself live again, rather than burying himself in him work. But even as he did begin to heal, the whisper of your bond still never went away. His shadows were always restless when he thought of you. It was as if they were telling him that something wasn’t as it seemed. Azriel ignored them though, they mourned the loss of the bond just as much as he did.

****

The first time Azriel met Feyre and had heard that she was Tamlin’s bride he wanted to throw up. How could someone love the monster that took away his soul.

But Rhys had told him of their mating bond, and Azriel was happy for him, he was happy that Rhys would finally get to experience the greatest joy in the world. If he couldn’t be happy, he was glad that at least his brother could be.

****

“Rhys?” Feyre asked one day while they were in bed.

“Yes, darling.” He unconsciously stroked her hair.

“Who is the girl in the picture?” She asked gently while staring at the painting he had of his family hanging above the mantle. It was a painting from before he had started his high lord duties. He was still young in that picture, maybe around 16. Your mother stood behind him from where he sat on a stool, one hand was on one shoulder and the other was placed atop his father’s hand on the other. His father was standing as well, he had you propped up on one of his hips as you laid your head on his shoulder with an innocent smile. Your hair was long and black and your eyes were the same violet as Rhys’s.

He froze, his hand stilled over Feyre hair as he decided how to approach the topic. His hesitance caused Feyre to quickly tell him, “You don’t have to talk about it, I’m sorry for asking.”

“No, darling, that’s all right.” He took a deep breath. “That’s my younger sister, Y/n, Tamlin’s father murdered her and my mother a long time ago.”

“You said your father was a cruel man, he looks so happy in that.”

“He had a soft spot for Y/n, she was a daddy’s girl and could do no wrong.” He smiled fondly at the memory. “Whenever my dad was in one of his nasty moods or would push me too hard, all Y/n has to do was flash her innocent little smile at him and he would drop everything for her. I was envious of her at times, but also thankful.”

“I wish I could’ve met her.” Feyre says and looks into his eyes. She sends love and adoration down the bond and he kisses her gently in response.

“Her death hit Azriel harder than anyone.” Rhys continued.

“Harder than even you?”

Rhys nodded his head solemnly, “They were mated.”

Feyre pulls away and gasps. “They were.” Her eyes full with empathetic tears for Azriel. She knew first hand exactly what it felt like to feel the break of a mating bond. Luckily, she didn’t have to deal with it for a centuries. She couldn’t even imagine how Azriel felt, how he still feels.

“Is that why he’s so closed off.” Feyre asks as she settles back into Rhys.

“Partially, a little bit it just because that’s how he is, but it’s mostly because of her death.” He tries not to think to much about her death because it still brings him so much pain. “Feyre, Darling.”

“Yes?”

“Why did you ask now? You’ve seen that painting so many times.” Rhys asks curiously while looking at her.

“If I had known I would tell you sooner.” Feyre starts.

“Tell me what?”

“She used to appear in my dreams every night when I was in spring. I didn’t even realize it was the same girl until a couple days ago.” Feyre tells him.

“Your dreams? Will you let me see.” Rhys asks, a little bit unsure. Feyre nods and closes her eyes, trying to conjure a memory of one of the dreams.

Feyre was walking through the halls, the image hazy because it was a dream. Everything was silent except for the a banging coming from the floor.

“Help me” it was quiet the first time.

“Help me” it was louder now.

“Help me” louder, urgent.

“Help, help, help.” Pleading, begging, crying.

And then you appeared like a ghost. Your dress was bloody and ripped, the same one you’d been wearing the day you were killed. Your hair was in a matted braid and your eyes were dull and bloodshot. You were bony and deathly looking, your cheek bones were too sharp and you’re eyes too sunken.

“Help me, I’m in the—“

And then it was over, Feyre had woken up.

When Feyre opened her eyes she hadn’t expected to see tears cascading down Rhys’s face. “Oh baby, I’m sorry.”

“Feyre, this is going to sound crazy, but I think that she’s alive.” Rhys looks into her eyes and she wipes away her tears.

“I believe you.”

“I need to talk to Azriel.” He sits up and looks at her apologetically.

“Of course you do. I wouldn’t expect anything else.” He graciously pressed a kiss to her mouth before pulling on pants and rushing out of the room.

Cass, Az, Mor, Amren, office now. It’s urgent.

Rhys waits restlessly in his office leaning over a floorpan map of the spring court manor. Azriel and Cassian walk in together, both sweaty and dirty from training. Mor and Amren follow second later.

“What so urgent?” Amren breaks the silence as everyone waits for Rhys to start talking.

He doesn’t respond just yet. He just raised his head and looks directly at Azriel. Everyone can see his red rimmed eyes, proof that he had been crying.

“Rhys what’s going on.” Cassian tries to push again.

“Az,” Rhys starts lowly. Azriel look confused but there’s something it the back of his head telling him that he’s about it say something about you. “I think,” a deep breath, “I think that Y/n is alive.”

Sharp intakes of breaths are heard from each one of them. “That’s as awfully big assumption Rhys.” Cassian is the first to speak.

Rhys’s eyes are still locked on Azriel who is frozen in place, he might not be breathing. “Let me show you guys.” And so he does, Rhysand replays Feyre’s dream for all of them, holding back tears as he rewatches your face contorted with pain.

When it’s over Azriel stumbles as he falls into the nearest chair, his fingers press against his eyes as to stop to flow of tears. “I knew it,” Azriel breathes out, “I knew it and you told me I was in denial!” Azriel points an accusatory finger towards Rhys.

“Calm down, Azriel, this is just as hard for me as it is for you.” Azriel knows this, but after all the pain he’s suffered thinking you were dead has caused him to act irrationally.

“We’re going to get her, right?” Mor asks, stepping forwards to look at the map that Rhys was leaned over. “Would she be in the dungeons?”

“No.” Azriel said simply. “I’ve scoured every inch of those dungeons repeatedly with my shadows, she’s not in there.”

“Wha about if we went even lower.” Amren suggests, “Some High lords had magic shelters built even further beneath the dungeons. During the first war when none of you were alive yet, there were metals that stopped the frequency of magic. If you combine that metal with a low altitude, magic may be almost, if not completely blocked off.”

“Holy shit, Amren, I think you’re right.” Mor adds, “Gwyn was telling me of this old text in the library about ancient materials. There was a metal that blocked all physical magic and the only loophole is spiritual magic at short distances; which was probably how Y/n was able to appear in Feyre’s Dreams.”

Amren looked to Azriel, “It blocks bonds to, makes it appear as if it’s broken. That’s why you and Rhys thought you felt her die.”

“Oh, cauldron.” Cassian mutters in astonishment.

“How do we find out where it is? Everytime my shadows were down there they didn’t sense any other door.” Azriel a tried to think of any possibility that he missed something, but he couldn’t come up with any.

“Maybe the magic blocked your shadows too.” Cassian added, “if it blocks everything else there’s no reason it wouldn’t block magic shadow.”

“We have to get down there and look with our eyes, no magic will find it, that was the original purpose of why this metal was used to build rooms, it’s magically untraceable.” Amren informs.

“So we have to get Azriel in there.” Rhys says, “the next high lord conference is at the end of the week. Tamlin will be away long enough for Az to sneak in a look for any door in the dungeon.”

“What of his borders though? He’ll know when someone enters them.” Azriel tells Rhys.

“I’ll get into his head and block his conscience.”

“I don’t know if I can wait 4 days until then, Rhys.” Azriel looks at him with so much sadness in his eyes.

“I know, Az, but it’s our best shot at getting her home to us.” Rhys walks over and places a reassuring hand his shoulder.

He could do this, he waited 2 centuries already, what’s 4 more days?

#azriel #azriel x reader #acotar #cassian #rhysand #Feyre #Mor #amren #azriel x female!reader #azriel x oc #azriel x you #rhysand sister #night court #foxglovebells

[midn1ghtdreamer]

Azriel X Reader

Day Full of Love

Two hours. That’s how much time was left before you and Azriel were finally united forever. You couldn’t hide your feelings from your loving mate everytime you thought of it, unconsciously sending waves of love down the bond.

He was everything that you could’ve asked for. He might not see it himself, but you do. You knew he deserved happiness, even if he didn’t accept it. That’s what you intended to prove to him today.

Not only were you getting married to your mate, but you also had a small gift for him. You didn’t tell anyone about your surprise. Not even Mor, who was currently trying to peek into the small gift bag. “You know I can see you, right?”

She backed away hastily, hands up in surrender, “I was just making sure you didn’t leave any of your jewelry. Can’t have you missing anything.” You scoffed rolling your eyes. Mor couldn’t mind her business for the life of her. It was her ongoing curiosity that made you and Azriel reveal the truth about being mates. You both tried to hide it from your family, attempting to get used to the bond yourselves first, but thanks to her things didn’t go to plan.

“Sure…,” you murmured watching her out of the corner of your eye. You brushed out your uncooperative hair, growing frustrated with time. Feyre came to assist you, pulling your hair into an up do style, while you proceeded to put in earrings while looking out the window.

The wedding took place during sunset and at the moment the sun was barely over the horizon. Everything outside was set up, as far as you could tell from the window at least. The white banisters were hung high and the tables were covered with a cobalt blue table cloth. The chairs had small accents of silver and blue and the aisle…

The isle that you were going to walk down within the next few minutes was shimmering in the last rays of sunset. You couldn’t wait to see the way that Azriel would look at you as you walked down the aisle. The way he would take in the dress as it flowed around you. the way his eyes would connect with yours, sending his love and adoration down the bond you shared.

You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t realize Feyre calling to you. her hands on your shoulders was what brought you back to reality. “Are you alright?” She asked softly. You nodded telling her that you were just thinking as she went to pick up your dress. You could see the understanding in her eyes at your words. “I was nervous before Rhys and I did the ceremony—“

“You mean the ceremony that I wan’t invited to,” Mor shouted from across the room. You couldn’t but laugh at the slightly guilty look of Feyre’s face. You were still upset about not being invited to her ceremony as well, but you didn’t let it show like Mor did.

She helped you step into your dress, responding with, “The situation was different back then, Mor, but I’ll make sure we include you next time we have a big event.”

“Me too,” you added, turning so she could zip up your gown. Thankfully you and Azriel didn’t have to worry about the threat of a war during this big moment. You couldn’t imagine how hard it was for Feyre and Rhys at that time.

You quickly grabbed the gift bag and left Feyre put on your veil. “I’ll make sure to invite you too.”

Mor, nudged Feyre’s shoulder, “You better.” She handed you the bouquet, “Now then let’s get this wedding started.”

********************

Azriel loved his brothers, no doubt about that, but at this current moment he wanted to erase them from the Night Court. Cassian spent the past twenty minutes crying over Azriel finally getting married, while Rhys recounted the time after his mating ceremony.

“He’s finally getting hitched, Rhys, can you believe it,” Cassian cried, slapping Azriel on the back causing his wings to flare. He sighed in irritation, all hopes of finally buttoning up his shirt lost.

There were only five minutes left. Five minutes and he still wasn’t fully dressed. Not that you would mind seeing him walk down the isle without a shirt.

Rhys could tell that Azriel was frustrated from the way his shadows frantically whipped around that room. Each dark wisp coming back to tell him where everything he needed was: the rings on the dresser and his shoes near the bed.

“Sit,” Rhys said, signaling at a chair. Azriel rushed over not caring about what his brother was trying to do. His attention was on his shirt that he still hasn’t finished fixing the buttons on. He was so focused on the item of clothing that he didn’t notice Cassian holding his shoes out to him or Rhys’s hands in his hair.

Azriel took his shoes, bending down to lace them. He pushed Rhy’s away every time he reached for his shoulder. “Do you ant me to finish your hair or not Az.”

Azriel’s head snapped up, “What?”

“Your hair.” Rhys handed him a mirror to look at the nest of hair on his head. Azriel cursed and promptly sat back. He couldn’t remember the last time Rhys had touched his hair. He used to do it five hundred years ago when they were kids, but eventually stopped after a while. The only person that touched the black hair on Azriel’s head now was you.

“There. What are we thinking?” Azriel inspected his hair throughly. You wouldn’t care what his hair looked like regardless, but he still wanted to make sure it looked perfect for you.

“I think we should add glitter,” Cassian suggested. “The girls at the camp told me that glitter makes everything look better.”

“Absolutely not,” Azriel deadpanned. Thinking about the small girls that he trained at the camp. As much as he adored them, he would not be adding any type of shimmer into his locks.

Rhys placed his hands on his brothers shoulders. “It’s time for you to get married.”

******************

Azriel’s eyes didn’t leave you as you made your way down the aisle. You had to stop yourself from running up to him when you first saw him. He was absolutely glowing in the last rays of the sunset. You could see the reddish brown membrane of his wings as you continued to step towards him, nearly crumpling under his gaze.

He looked at you in all the ways you imagined and more. His eyes completely devoured you and you could see the desire in his eyes more as you stood on the platform with him. “Hello beautiful,” he whispered, wrapping his arm around your waist. You wanted to kiss him badly at that moment, but you would have to save that for the end of the ceremony.

Rings were exchanged and white fabric was wrapped around your wrists to symbolize the band before you heard the words you had been waiting for. “You may now kiss the bride.”

Azriel swept you off your feet, pulling you in for a passionate kiss. It was unlike any kind of kiss he had given you before. His lips pressed against yours, telling you everything that he felt in that moment. You felt his love, his desperation, and his need all in one. The cheers in the background made you push Azriel’s chest. No matter how tempting it was at the moment, you didn’t want to give your entire family a show.

You were beaming as you listen to the cheers from Feyre, Cassian, Rhys, and, to your surprise, some claps from Amren.

The night continues with drinks, food, and plenty of congratulations. It was hard to get a private moment with your husband. You only managed to pull him away when everyone was dancing together, celebrating the new union in the family.

“I got you gift,” you said, handing him the small bag. You were nervous, very nervous. What would he say when he saw what was in the bag? How would he react? You couldn’t stop these thoughts from rushing though your head as you mate looked at you curiously.

“You didn’t have to get me anything love.”

“I know, but this is very special to me and I wanted to share it with you.”

“Just know I’m going to get you something in return.” You rolled your eyes at your husbands antics. He would never let you surprise him without repaying the favor.

You watched as he pulled a small cloth out of the bag. He squinted his eyes in suspicion, unfolding the item. “Is this what I think it is?” His eyes scanned the onesie in his hands. You nodded softly, tears brimming your eyes. Azriel enveloped you in his arms whispering into your hair, “When did you find out, beautiful?”

“Two months ago,” you said, burying your head into his neck.

He kissed you temple, “So this is why you wanted to move the wedding up.”

You nodded, at a lost for words. You remembered talking to Azriel about your plans to move the wedding up. When he asked you why you claimed it was because you couldn’t wait to get married to him. You could see the suspicion on his face, but that was the quickest thing you could come up with. Keeping secrets from the shadowsinger was a hard thing to do.

You sat there in Azriels arms for a while, the commotion around you disappearing. “Should we tell them too?” You asked, knowing how happy your family would be to hear the news.

“Not yet. I want to keep this a secret for a little while longer. Plus,” he turned to look at the rest of your family clinging their glasses together, “I think there’s been enough excitement for one day.”

#azriel #azriel x reader #azriel x you #az #acotar #acofas #azriel x y/n #acomaf #azriel x female!reader #cassian acotar #rhys acotar #feyre acotar #mor acotar #amren acotar

[bluetimeombre]

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ And I wouldn't marry me, either.

You were Azriel's mate, but it took losing you three times for him to realise.

[this is long. i'm talking 5k words long so i've split it into two parts. anyway, azriel is the best bat boy and no i won't hear anyone out. i'm so excited to write for him and hope you enjoy. it's very angsty but that's what i love. i hope i can write more for him and maybe other characters if you like. it's been a while since i've actually read the series so if any information is wrong, do let me know. also it was my first time using the term y/n and yes, i cringed NOT PROOF READ... enjoy]

warnings: references to sexual assault and references to suicide. nothing explicit but please don't read if this is sensitive to you.

Part 2 soon…

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

The first, was the worst...

You were Rhys's half sister, the bastard daughter of his father. But when your mother had died giving birth to you, Rhysand's mother took you in and raised you with your brother and sister. You were so little and adorable that your sister loved you at once. Rhys did to, at some point of your life, you were sure he actually cared about you.

But when his mother and sister had died, his eyes shifted, he started to look at you with contempt. After all, you were only his half-sister. The worst half. He only kept you around because it's what his mother would have wanted.

And because there was no way Cassian and Azriel would ever let anything happen to you.

Besides, Rhysand knew when to use you.

Although Azriel was his spymaster, you were pretty good at staying swift-footed too. And you were frankly, very terrifying when you wanted to be.

You tread with power through the war camps, all of them looking at you as you went. All of their gazes wrecked with a predatory gaze. They either wanted to have their way with you, or kill you. Or both.

Rhys had said you could handle it, it was only supposed to be a check in. Cassian hadn't liked it, neither had Mor but it was Azriel who had almost- and for the first time- disobeyed his high lord to accompany you. But no, your brother wanted you to do this alone, so alone you would.

Just to show him you could.

'I can come with you,' Azriel had said, standing in your room as you tied your boots up. 'I won't even have to be seen.' At that, his shadows wrapped up your calf.

You smiled at them, as if they were his own pet. 'I'll manage just fine. Besides, i'm sure that's what Rhys wants, me needing a man.'

It had done nothing to calm your friend. The worry was still stuck between his brows, marring his handsome features. You'd held his cheeks, your wings hiding the two of you. His large ones (enough to swallow the both of you) over-lapped yours.

It was the last time you'd feel your wings.

The war camp wasn't as easy as you'd hoped. It was terror and horror in a place. You'd been to the court of nightmares, you'd gone to the slaughter of the spring court after they killed your family. But this, this was hell of another kind.

You had no idea how many days you'd been locked up, wrists bound in chains and hanging from the cell roof above you. Blood rolled down your arms from the force you'd tried to use to get them out. Your eye was swollen shut and your body trembled in pain.

All because they wanted to know your brothers secrets, and you wouldn't budge.

Your check was only supposed to be a day, but you were sure it had been longer. Days of endless pain and torture. Your uniform hung in rags of stripped material, your hair matted with blood and hiding your face.

You'd used the last of your energy to keep your walls up. You weren't anyone's mate, you didn't have anyone on the other end trying to feel what you felt. But should Rhys come looking (though you doubted it) you didn't want him to feel it. You didn't want anyone in your mind.

The gates opened with a sickening clash.

One of the Illyrian's knelt in front of you, his wings hiding those coming in behind you. 'Listen sweetheart. I don't want to make this any harder than it's about to get. All you have to do is tell us your brother's hide outs.'

You grit your teeth, staring down at the ground.

'So loyal, to a man who doesn't care if you live or die.'

Suddenly, your wings twitched as hands grasped them. Brute hands, the sort you wouldn't want touching any part of you.

Fear spiked in you, horror twisting your gut. 'What are you doing?'

'I told you I didn't want to get things messier, darling.'

You whipped your head from side to side, trying and failing to get a look at the assailants behind you. Your wings were being held apart, no matter how hard you tried to bat them away. You knew the sort of people they were, and what they did to girls like you.

That's when the begging started. 'No, no please. Anything. I'll do anything! Beat me, kill me, rape me, not my wings, please!'

'Anything?' the bastard asked, tongue poking out from his lips. 'Then tell me where your lord's hideouts are?'

You should betray him, you thought. He would never lose his wings for you. Perhaps it was stubbornness that kept you from, or maybe you were clinging to the last bit of love you want from him.

The bastard scoffed, 'anything, she says. Your brother has his own bitch wrapped around his finger.'

That's when they started hacking at your wings.

Your screams tore through your throat, blood spitting and dripping down your chin. Tears soon joined when they hacked away at the bone, the membrane, the flesh of it all. The three of them worked through your screams and your tears and your pain, tearing and cutting at it like it was nothing more than paper.

Not your whole life.

Let them hear you. You hoped your brother heard you, you hoped all and every court heard the pain.

Eventually, even you couldn't keep screaming. The only sound was the hacking away at your wings and the drops of blood.

'Now look at these beauties. I've got a perfect spot on my wall for these.'

They left you after that. There wasn't much more damage they could do. It already felt like they'd destroyed your life. You had never really thought about your wings, they were just part of you, as much as your wit or hair was. But they'd took it and now, you felt empty. Never would you fly with Azriel again, or use your wings to smack Cassian over the head.

Rhys, your dear brother, had took that from you.

The days blended in together after that. You were pooled in your own tears and blood, vomiting up anything they forced down your throat. No, they'd made it very clear they didn't want you dead. They just took pride in making it feel like you were.

At some point, you'd stopped reacting to the gate opening. You let them do whatever they wanted with you. Your wrists were still chained, arms still hanging up, your clothes hanging on your thin body in strips of dirt.

'No...' you heard a mumble. 'What have they done to you?'

Suddenly, the chains gave way and you lurched forward, with no strength to catch you. Luckily, you didn't have to, as strong and warm arms pulled you into his chest.

'Hey, wake up, look at me, dammit.'

Azriel.

You'd know the voice in the darkest days, in the pit of your worst nightmare you'd know.

You try to speak but your head's heavy, your lips are stone and your arms can't lift to hold onto him. You're exhausted, you're dying. The only thing you could do use all your strength to try to open your eyes.

'Please, please, look at me. You have to look at me,'

You were trying, you wanted to tell hm, snap at him, but you couldn't.

You felt Azriel shake, or maybe you were. Then, there was wet drops landing on your cheeks- you flinched.

'I'm sorry, i'm sorry. Rhys! Rhys! hurry up, please!' he was screaming. You'd never heard him scream before.

You heard the rush of feet at the cell doors, you knew it was your brother. You knew it from the presence of him, from the shuffling of feet and chocked sob. Your brother didn't cry, least of all for you.

'Her wings, oh mother, her wings,' said Azriel, his voice barley above that of a whisper.

Your wings. You didn't need reminding. They were gone, long and far gone. You were without a part of you, the very part of your soul that loved to be free. Never would you watch the stars up close or fly over everyone. Never race Cassian or make jokes with Az.

No, this would destroy you.

'y/n,' your half-brother called. 'No, y/n. Can you hear me?'

Your lips parted, mumbling. 'Hurts.'

Azriel's grip on you tightened. 'I know, we're gonna get you out of here, just hold on for me.'

You wanted to tell him you would hold on, you'd always need to hold on to him. That, no matter what he asks, you'd do it. To kill, to live, to breathe, to die.

And that's when it clicked. Amongst all the pain and the doubt. In your blood soaked clothes. In the fear you wouldn't make it, there was a tug. Weak and one-sided, but there. You knew you'd be safe with Azriel, knew you would always be with him.

Mate.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

The pain subsided to a dull ache, there and beating but not excruciating. You were warm and covered in a soft material. Nothing like the cell you'd been kept in. Your fingertips sunk into something soft- a bed. Your bed. It was familiar in its lavender scent to you and the silk wrapped around you gave you some semblance of warmth.

Your wings.

Even coming to consciousness was difficult. You were exhausted but light, without the weight of wings holding you down. You'd never realised how much you needed to feel that weight, to feel pulled down in order to be free.

Gone, all gone.

Your hand twitches around something cold, a shadow holding your hand, creeping up your side.

'You're awake, thank the couldron.'

It wasn't Azriel, master of the shadows. It wasn't your mate. Mate. The word replayed like a terrible song in your mind.

How dare the mother do this to Az. How dare he- nothing but loyal and kind- get stuck with a person made in darkness, who bled shadows, who's heart was so full of hate there wasn't room for love. They'd cursed Az, with you.

But luckily it wasn't him, it was Rhysand.

'It really happened,' you whispered, voice hurting from the screams.

He sighed. 'I'm sorry, i'm so sorry. We-we thought you weren't going to make it, you'd lost so much blood.'

In spite of the pain in your shoulders, you made a shift, turning from him as he ranted on about your condition.

'y/n... sister, please,' he said. He'd never called you sister before. He'd always been content to treat you just like you worked for him.

'Leave me alone.' you couldn't bare to look at him, couldn't bare to face him. The shadows at your hand grew heavier, as if more were piling on. You stretched your fingers away from them, trying to get them off you.

'Are you in any pain?' asked Rhys.

'Get out,' you mumbled.

The end of your bed dipped where Rhys settled, hand splayed on the covers, begging for your hand. 'y/n.'

'Get out!' you snapped, body tense and straining. You felt your wounds open up, blood wetting the bandage around you. But you didn't care. You'd happily bleed if you couldn't fly. A part of you, sick part of you wanted to be left there. It would be better than false sympathy.

Be better than your mate being disgusted.

'Get out!' you yelled again, voice tearing through an aching throat.

'I just want to help you! please, let me help you!' said Rhys, standing from your bed and walking around, trying to face you.

'I don't want your help!' you screamed. You reached for the closest thing you could, a jug of water and chucked it toward him. You aim was terrible, marred with pain and exhaustion. 'Get out!'

Though hesitant, Rhysand slowly started walking back to your door. He did it all looking at you, his hands out to show he wasn't gonna hurt you, but you didn't care. You went for the glasses next and chucked them but they landed against the door which he disappeared through.

Before it slid close you caught sight of Cassian , Mor and Azriel. All crowded, all waiting to see you.

You'd be happy if you never let them see you again.

'Can we see her?' you hear Mor ask.

'Give her time,' said Rhys.

The shadows at your hand grew heavier, darker, tighter.

'Go away!' you yelled at them. To anyone else, you probably looked crazy, screaming to darkness. But the shadows understood. They departed, slithering away and under the crack of your door where you could see the shadows of feet.

Tumbling from bed, you stumbled over and locked the door, leaning on it to and catching your breath. Your nightgown was starting to get sticky with blood all over again. When you closed your eyes, you pictured the cell, the rough hands holding you down, the chain keeping you up.

And the pain, it all washed over you. The hacking at your back, the sting of a slap. It hit you like a tone of bricks as you slid to the floor.

There was a knock, rattling the door.

'y/n,' Cassian. 'Please let us in.'

Us. You felt him on the other side. Your mate, his presence lingering. His shadows under the door, wanting to come in but keeping their distance.

He didn't know. It hadn't snapped for him, you could tell. It was one tug on your end, a chord in your heart. At least he couldn't feel what you did. At least you could shoulder it alone.

'Please.' his voice was almost your un-doing. He sounded so sad, so desperate. It hurt you just to think you were hurting him.

Tears streamed down your face as your curled your fingers into a tight fist. You assumed Mor had left with Rhys, leaving you there with the males.

Cass was always like a brother to you. Granted- a brother you had slept with once or twice- but he was your best friend. You'd always been close to him. But you'd always been good, a happy person.

You couldn't be that for them now, perhaps ever again.

It lasted like that for hours. Cassian and Az begging to come in, you curling into a ball with tears down your cheeks and blood down your back.

Eventually, they gave up. You couldn't hear them anymore and the shadows of their boots had disappeared.

Except Azriel's shadows that still lingered under your door. Maybe he'd ordered them to be there while they left you.

Eventually, you managed to find your footing on shaking legs. Your room was large, one of the largest. It was just as much a mess as it was when you'd left for you mission, clothes thrown over the place, books propped open on the pages you'd left them on. Everything was the same but could never be again.

It took you longer than you'd care to admit to get to your windows and throw the curtains close. Candles light at your request, the house looking after you as it had since you were a child.

You caught sight of yourself in the full length mirror. It seemed smaller, everything in the room felt too large and you too small, as if you were being swallowed by the expanse of it.

Your frame was small in the mirror, your hair disarrayed. Your eyes were red and shutting of their own accord from the tears that had drained you. The starving in the cells had made you look weak, made you feel weak.

And your back. There was no more looming black figures there, no more fluttering. There was just nothing. In spite of the ache as you lifted your arm, you felt around your back, feeling the hitch there, the lump from where they'd been torn from you.

You cry. You sob. You scream.

The scars were long and the nightdress was sticking to you by the blood you'd shed. All you could do, was hold yourself up as your body wracked with tears.

A breeze came from your windows, shadows tugging at the curtains.

You felt him before you saw him. You wanted to tell him to leave you but you couldn't talk without chocking. Without feeling like you couldn't breath.

Azriel had you in your arms before your knees could hit the ground. He fell with you, softening your body on the floor. His arms held you into his chest, his legs caging you into his body. His head rested on yours as he held you. He didn't try to talk, he didn't try to help. It was just him, you and his shadows.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Azriel remembered dozing off with you, his head on yours. His arms holding you into him, as if it was up to him to keep the sadness away and take it for you.

Afterall, you were his best friend. He should have been there for you, and he'd failed terribly by letting you get hurt and your wings stolen from you. He could hate himself every day for it, for letting you down. But it would never amount to what you felt for yourself and that killed him.

He could see it in the way you cried, in the way you were already keeping everyone out. He'd rather die than let you go through all the pain alone.

When his hands had been scarred by his brothers, you'd help heal him, tell him about everything he still was and all the power he still held in his hands. In the worst days, when he didn't let anyone touch him, he let you.

It was always you.

Azriel wasn't sure how long he'd been asleep, or how deep. He was sure he was still with you, still in your bed.

His shadows crept up on him, engulfing him slowly and whispering to him. Your name, just your name on repeat. It was enough to lull him back into sleep, to keep him calm.

Gone. Missing. y'n. Roof.

He shot up and ran fastest than he ever had in his life. It was as if he'd never been asleep but had been fighting a battle with the way he raced over.

He burst through the doors, the cold hight air hitting him.

You stood facing the stars, your bloody back to him. It wasn't as much blood as when he'd found you, but it was still enough to put a lump in his throat.

Immediately his shadows fell to you, cascading down your body and wrapping around your waist. There was a breeze in the air, pushing your hair back and exposing more signs of the pain and torture you must have gone through.

'I'm not gonna jump, if that's what you're thinking,' you said. You didn't even have to turn to him. The shadows probably told you enough.

'Why are you up here?' he asked, walking to you slowly and with careful steps. As if every step closer could you push you away from him.

'I'll never feel the win properly again,' you answered.

Azriel gulped down his own pain. You��d never sounded so small. ‘Can you get away from the ledge?’

'I'm not on the ledge.'

'You're too close for my liking.'

'Leave if you don't like it.'

'Don't do this,' he said.

'Do what?' you asked, folding your arms over your chest. You were cold, out in the hight but you wanted to see the stars. Needed to see them.

'Make me leave. Make everyone leave you. I know that's what you're doing. It's what you do every time,' you could feel him dawning closer. His shadows were all around you, almost drowning you.

‘Every time,’ you scoff, stepping down and turning on him. ‘It’s not every day you lose your wings Azriel! But don’t let me stop you from leaving, flap them and go!’ You yelled, unable to stop yourself, no matter how hard you tried. You didn’t want to hurt him, you just wanted to be alone.

Mate. Mate. Mate.

'You jump and I’ll catch you,' he said. He was a step away, he could just reach out and touch, just a gentle caress. 'I swear it, whatever you do, I’ll follow. I’m not letting you get away.’

He watched your back shudder as he reached out, brushing knuckles against your shoulder blade. He heard your sharp inhale follow.

'Don’t think I won’t follow, y/n.'

Finally, you turned around in his shadows. You couldn’t meet his eyes but at least you could face his chest.

His hands were gentle on your shoulder as he rubbed it gently. 'Can I get Madja to clean you up?' He asked.

You nodded as he led you away. You truly did not deserve your mate.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Fifty-two years later...

When Amarantha had trapped the high lords of Prythian under the mountain, it hadn't be a conscious choice to follow your half-brother down. How Amarantha had allowed it, you weren't sure, but perhaps she wanted to use you just like her brother, or she thought it would bring more pain for him to see you suffer under there too.

You and Rhysand had barley spoke the last two years.

It had took you almost two months to heal fully enough to leave your room, another few months to face your family again. But even then, everyone knew something had changed in you. You didn't laugh as loud or smile as wide.

Rhysand was careful to ever let you out on a mission. Mor tried to take you out every night. Cassian spent all day every day with you and Azriel- he'd healed you better than any nurse.

Still, you had not told him he was your mate.

Still, you thought he wouldn't want it.

Still, you cared for your brother enough to not want him to go alone.

But being under the mountain, you could avoid your mate. At a painful price.

Until her. Rhys's mate. He hadn't shut up about her since he first met her, much to your dismay as you had to sit around and listen- having absolutely nothing better to do. And it only got worse when she turned up under the mountain. She was declaring her love for Tamlin- again, annoying your brother, and throwing Lucien into danger- which rather angered you. You had nothing against the ginger.

Rhysand had once sent you to find the girl to summon her as part of a bargain he'd made. He didn't want to go, he didn't want to look too forceful. You'd been lucky enough to find the two tangled up in each other against a cold wall, clothes ripped and hips moving together.

'Well, well well,' you'd intterupted.

Tamlin all but growled at you, but feyre was looking over you- evidently confused. She had no idea who you were. You, in your skimpy outfit that Amarantha kept you in (they all dipped low at your back, showing off your scars) and your eyes that were like a night sky.

'Amarantha's looking for her pet and Rhysand is looking for his. Honestly, i'd be a bit more worried if I were you. You know, considering Lucien still has an eye to lose.'

The two parted with your words as you sent Tamlin back to his master, the high lord glaring at you as you went. While Feyre tried to fix herself.

'Rhysand is over there, better not keep him waiting.' That was the first time you met her, having no idea how much trouble she'd be worth. The family that she'd become.

But Rhysand made sure you knew it all. From when the bond snapped in him and he'd stumbled. He ranted and ranted as they climbed out.

If only you were so talkative about Azriel. If only you could talk about him with your brother. But you'd tried not to painfully think about him. Climbing out of the mountain. It was all you could think of.

Maybe he'd have forgotten you? it had been fifty years. He'd probably realised how happy he could be without having to take care of you.

Rhys was allowed out of the mountain, he'd felt the breeze in his hair but you hadn't in fifty long years. You stood there a moment, bathing in the warmth as everyone left, as everyone ran off for their families and courts and the war that was inevitable. Eventually, Rhys offered you his arm. 'Shall we go home?'

He winnowed you there, on the balcony of your home. In a cloud of black smoke, the two of you appeared.

He went first, slipping through the doors slowly- like it could all be taken from them any minute.

You were hesitant, taking a moment to glance at the landscape behind you. It hadn't changed, not at all. The mountains were still there, everyone was still alive. Your home. In the last years it hadn't felt like home, but how could anywhere ever feel so close in your heart.

When you could find your feat again, you managed to slip through the doors. You were suddenly aware of how little clothing you were wearing, just enough to cover your chest and run down your legs. A chill settled down your back, your scars would be on show. What a way to great them all after fifty years.

Mor had her arms around Rhys's shoulders, crying into his shoulder.

Behind them you caught Amren, with something like tears in her eyes. You were just about to tease her before a body barrelled into yours in a blur of red syphons and your feet were lifted from the ground.

'Cassian.'

His arms tightened around you. You shoulder started to dampen with tears, his tears. The last time you'd seen him cry around you was when he'd seen a dog with only three legs. 'I'm keeping you on a leash from now on, stupid idiot.'

Your arms wrap around his shoulders, a smile gracing your lips. 'Is that a promise?'

He held you longer, tighter, not daring to let you go but at least settling you on the ground. He sighed against your head, controlling himself. 'He's missed you, you know,' he said. He was the only one you'd told, about your mate. 'Now that you're back, tell him. He deserves to know.'

Cassian slowly pulled away, holding you at arms length and smiling at you. He kissed your cheeks and then your forehead before parting to Rhysand.

Mor approached you next, slapping you in the arm.

'Ow!'

'Why would you follow him?' she snapped.

You blinked at her before she took you by the arm she'd slapped and embraced you, like a sister would. You dared not looking over her shoulder to find the one who hadn't come to you. Maybe Cass had got it wrong...

Mor pulled away, wiping at her eyes.

Azriel was as beautiful as the day you left him. His hair was the same length, he was the same height. He was just as you left him. It was hard to tell fifty years had passed on him.

And inside of you, tugging in your soul and heart you felt the familiar string of gold throbbing. But you still didn't feel that tug. You'd hoped it would have faded from you after half a year separated. Or at least have snapped for him. But no such relief.

He approached you, slowly. As if he was scared of scaring you away. But you just stood there.

His arms were delicate and soft around you as he brought you into his chest. He still smelled the same, cedar wood and shadows. Shadows that wrapped around you, shielding you from the rest of the room. They caressed you, head to two.

You held onto each other for what could have been another fifty years, but this time, it wasn't so painful.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Although nobody wanted to part after yours and Rhysand's return, you were exhausted. A trip to Rita's could wait another night or two. The only thing you wanted to do was hide in your room.

Strangely, your room looked lived in. As if somebody had moved in since you'd left. A moment of anger replaced grief. Had they brought someone else and given them your room? but then you smelt it, Az.

Lying in bed that night, exhausted, you couldn't find sleep. You closed your eyes and pictured Amarantha. You'd never been afraid of her, you weren't afraid of anything. But you re-played the horrors. Watching servants beat Feyre, watching Amarantha use your brother and on the occasion, even you. How she flaunted. How the most powerful lords were weak.

Under your door, shadows seeped in, rushing across the room to you. You smiled, watching your hand disappear in their darkness.

'Azriel?' you called.

There was shifting on the other side of the door before he slipped in, clicking it shut behind him.

You sat up in bed, shadows moving with you. 'Couldn't sleep?'

He wondered in, looking around your room. 'Sleeping's been... hard.'

You rolled over, opening the blanket and nodding your head. You couldn't think about the bond, not yet. Not while he looked so.... ruined. Beautiful- the most beautiful person in the world, but sad. As he climbed in next to you, you could see the dark circles under his eyes, his shoulders slumped and his wings too.

His eyes scanned over you. You were in a thin and silk night dress that only brushed your knees, but the way he looked at you, mother you could've been naked. 'Fifty years,' his voice sounded barley controlled. 'Fifty years. You followed your brother down for fifty years? Why would you do that?'

You gulp. 'I would've done it for any of you. Except maybe Amren, she'd probably enjoy the peace for fifty years.'

You go to brush your hair back but Azriel seizes your wrist. He was angry. That's why his voice was rough and his chest rising and falling with barley controlled emotions. Could he feel it? your nerves, your lying?

'You left. You should've stayed, y/n, you know Rhysand didn't want you under there with him,' he said. 'For fifty years I haven't been able to sleep through a night thinking about the pain you must have been going through. After I swore to keep you safe, after I promised to catch you every time!'

'You couldn't have stopped me. You didn't promise, Az.'

His grip grew tighter. 'It went without saying.'

You looked around his eyes, seeing the pain and grief there also. Slowly, you brought your other hand up. He flinched as you took his cheek but eventually settled as your thumb ran over his cheekbone. 'I won't leave again, ok? I promise.'

He gulped, letting go of your wrist and looking down. 'I slept here,' he mumbled, but just loud enough to hear you. 'I couldn't sleep in my room. This was the only place I could rest.'

Your heart stuttered. Your hand dropped from his cheek. This man was your mate. Your mate. Your only love, whether or not the cauldron deemed it.

Azriel took your hesitation. 'I-i'm sorry, you probably didn't want to hear that. I've probably ruined your one place of peace-'

'Stay,' you said, before you could think of what you were asking. 'Sleeping wasn't exactly easy under the mountain either. I just trust I won't have to put a wall of cushions between us.' as if you wanted that. As if you haven't thought about his calloused hands all over you.

Azriel smiled and stayed the night.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

The third time he almost lost you, broke him...

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

#acotar #azriel #cassian #rhysand #rhys acotar #feyre archeron #tamlin #lucien vanserra #azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel x female!reader #cassian x reader #books and reading #booktok #angst #azriel x cassian x reader

[vacant--body]

stay with me pt 1

<Azriel Shadowsinger x OFC>

short story of one of our favorite bat boys.

warnings: heavy alcohol consumption, mentions of trauma, light smut, 18+ MDNI!!!!

part two, part three, part four, part five

✧˖° ✧˖° ✧˖° ✧˖° ✧˖° ✧˖° ✧˖° ✧˖° ✧˖° ✧˖° ✧˖° ✧˖°

The pulsing music at Rita’s felt like it was mimicking the rapid heartbeat in Ophiela’s chest. Every dip and sway that she was led into by strange males made her feel heady and dizzy. It felt like her feet barely touched the floor as she was spun into arm after arm, song after song. The three bottles of wine that her and Mor consumed before coming didn’t help either.

Like Nesta, dancing made her feel something. Less empty, less of a broken shell. Like the patterns she twirled into on the dance floor could somehow form the broken shards of herself back together.

From her place in the crowd she could spy her friends sitting at the permanently reserved table, playing a game of cards. All were focused on the current hand, throwing chips into the pile and cursing at each other. All except one pair of dark hazel eyes. He was almost invisible, tucked into the corner, his black leathers causing him to blend in even more. But beneath the swirling mass of darkness, Ophelia could see him.

Maybe that was one difference between her and Prythians most notorious spymaster. He was comfortable in the dark where no one could see him. But Ophelia was most comfortable under the blazing lights, where almost anyone could see her. Where she could paint a face was calm and happy, and no one would suspect a thing. They were almost exact opposites, but maybe that’s what attracted her to him.

Strong hands suddenly gripped her waist and she was being pulled against a hard chest, breaking her staring contest with the spymaster. The male laughed in her ear, saying something. But she wasn’t sure what he said, her head was swimming by this point. She danced with him for a bit before excusing herself and pushed her way through the churning bodies, making her way to the table.

Those hazel eyes were on her again, watching her hips sway to the music. Placing her hands on the table and leaning over, she shouted at them so they could hear.

“Does anyone mind taking me home?” Winnowing while drunk was a bad idea. She learned her lesson the hard way when she almost drowned in the Sidra. She didn’t want to end a few inches off from the balcony of the House of Wind and fall to her death. That would be embarrassing.

Feyra opened her mouth to speak but Azriel beat her to it, setting his cards down.

“I fold.” He told the table. “I’m ready to get out of here anyway.” He stood, his wings ruffling at the movement.

As the two made their way to the doors, Ophelia could have sworn she heard Cassian yelling that Az had a full house. There was no way he could have been on a cusp of winning for him to just walk out like that, Az was too competitive. She must have heard him wrong.

They walked out into the muggy summer night. It was scorching this time of year, the night time only a little more tolerable than the day. The light blue dress that Ophelia had on stuck to her in the most uncomfortable of places. It was a pretty dress, a little on the short side, but one that would now have to be thoroughly washed. It reeked of sweat and wine and unfamiliar males.

Azriel and Ophelia walked in silence for a bit, the sounds of distant parties and conversations being drowned out by the rushing water as they approached the bridge to the Sidra. She traced the amazingly carved detail with her fingers on the rails, before stopping and turning to look down at the water.

Azriel inhaled softly as if he were about to speak, but Ophelia cut him off.

“Did I tell you about the time I almost drowned in the Sidra?”

She glanced behind her to the Illyrian, whose stoic features wavered just slightly at her admission. Whatever he was about to say, she had stopped him. If she were being honest with herself, which was rare, she’d wish she had let him speak.

“Mor and I had a few too many glasses of Rhys aged wine,” She continued. “Didn’t think it would hit me that hard. When I tried to winnow home I landed face first into cold water. Sobered me up pretty quick.”

She turned around, gazing up into those damned hazel eyes. She expected to see some sort of amusement in his eyes, but all she found was worry.

“I could have taken you home that day.”

Ophelia shrugged. “Honestly, I think you were on a mission for Rhys. Plus, I wouldn’t want to bother you with my drunkenness.” She lifted her palms up to the sky, a smile twitching at her lips.

“I don’t mind your drunkenness.” That same smile creeping up on the corners of his own thick, lush lips.

Damnit.

Something had changed, shifted, between Ophelia and Azriel. For centuries, she had considered Azriel as a friend, a good friend. But almost three months ago, that had changed. She didn’t know what it was, or didn’t want to admit to herself what it was, but it happened. Az and her had been sparring early in the evening like usual. They were trying to perfect a new technique they thought of, when somehow Ophelia managed to knock Azriel on his ass.

He had stared up at her with such awe and bewilderment she thought he might have cracked his head open on the ground. When she helped him up his hands were clammy and hot, and he quickly excused himself from the session.

Ever since then, Azriel had been, well, nice. Not just the forced politeness she was used to when it came to the spymaster. He had been offering to help her, spending time with her scouting out the Autumn Court, which she knew he hated. It was strange, even Rhys admitted his brother's actions were strange.

Ophelia, snapping out of her thoughts, realized she had been staring far too long at Azriel. Clearing her throat, she looked away. She was glad it was hot out or else she felt like he might have called her out on the blush that was creeping across her cheeks.

“Do you mind?” She asked, lifting her arms out to him. “I’m ready for bed.”

Azriel nodded silently, and picked her up like she weighed less than a feather. She laid her head on his chest and squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for the feeling of her stomach to drop once he took flight. Hearing the leathery snap of his wings, the ground whooshed out from underneath them. She sucked in a breath as his wings caught the warm breeze, spreading them out behind him.

Velaris was always beautiful, but Ophelia was convinced it looked the most beautiful from above. She watched as the streaming lights grew distant as they flew farther away from the city. It made her heart hurt to watch it go.

They flew silently towards the House of Wind, the only sound of Azriel’s wings occasionally flapping. She looked over his shoulder, the thin membrane of his wings looked so silky. Ophelia knew how prized an Illyrian's wings were to them. They would rather be dead than be without their wings.

Still, they looked so smooth and soft. Tentatively, she reached a hand out and lightly ran her hand across the cool skin. She heard Azriel gasp, and they dipped in the sky.

“Shit!” She squawked, nails digging into his neck. “Sorry! I didn’t think-”

“If you don’t want me to drop you, sweetheart, I wouldn’t do that again.” Azriel grunted. Something had changed in his voice, it sounded gruffer. She was so caught up in what just happened she almost missed it.

He had called her sweetheart.

Azriel landed on the balcony without any more close calls. Though Ophelia supposed she was to blame for that. He set her down gently and she smoothed out her dress, making sure everything was covered.

“I need a drink.” She announced, but mostly for the house to hear.

“You had about three bottles of wine, four shots of vodka, and a beer. You need more?” Azriel said from behind her, humor laced in his tone.

“Well, looks like someone was counting.” She smirked to herself. “But no, I need tea. Care to join?”

Sauntering into the kitchen, she saw the house instantly set out another hot mug and she picked it up, handing it to Azriel. “It’s my secret blend.” She smiled, picking up her own mug. Taking a small sip, she sighed contentedly.

She hopped up on the counter watching as Azriel did the same. “Jasmine, lavender, and chamomile.” He offered. “With a hint of lemon.”

Ophelia rolled her eyes, smirking. “I suppose being a spymaster you have to know the differences between tastes. Wouldn’t want someone to be poisoned, now would you?”

“No, it’s just what you smell like.”

Ophelia’s heart skipped a beat. She stared down at her mug in her now trembling hands. Desperately, she tried to think of a witty come-back. Something to diffuse to tension that was quickly building in the kitchen. She heard the clink of his mug being set down on the counter, and the shuffle of his boots as he approached her.

“Phia,” Azriel whispered. “Look at me.” Inhaling sharply, she did just that. She felt his hands grab hers and set the mug down, his eyes never leaving hers. His eyes were alight with swirling colors, his pupils almost covering his entire iris.

“Az…” Before she could get another word out, his lips were on hers.

Gasping at the electric shock that started at the base of her skull, making its way down her tailbone, she shuddered. Did she shudder because of that or because of Azriel, Azriel was finally kissing her? She wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer right now.

He broke away from her after a long moment, resting his forehead on hers. He was panting, they were panting. This time when Azriel tried to speak, she was the one to cut him off. Her lips slotted over his, her slender arms wrapping around his neck pulling him closer.

They were a blur of gnashing teeth and tongues, their breathing turning almost frantic. Azriel’s rough hands gripped her hips, pulling her even closer to him. Instinct kicked in and Ophelia grabbed onto his waist with her legs. Nothing but a few scraps of clothing separated them now.

Wait.

Azriel bit down on her bottom lip, a quiet moan rippled from her mouth. He pulled away, but not going very far. He kissed her cheek, then her jaw, then that spot right behind her ear. Ophelia moaned again, louder this time, arching into his touch.

She said she didn’t want this.

Azriel’s chuckled, his breath tickled against her overheating skin. He continued kissing down the length of her throat, and her hands found their way to his thick hair, tugging softly. Ophelia felt triumphant when he let out a moan of his own. Then, she was leaning farther and farther back so he could have easy access to her, gasping and moaning when he bit down just to soothe the sting with his tongue. His mouth was setting ablaze a burning path down her chest that she thought the coolest of waters couldn’t put out.

She wasn’t allowed to want this.

His hand came up to cup her breast through the material of her dress, his thick thumb swiping lazily over the peaked nipple. She was squirming now, her soaked core rutting ever so slightly against the very large bulge in his leathers. She wanted more, needed more. Needed to feel him in every way possible, to feel exactly what the honed muscles could do.

She shouldn’t want this.

Azriel finally pulled away from the assault he was levying against her front and his eyes found hers. “Sweetheart, do you-”

“Well it’s about damn time!” A voice boomed from down the hall.

Ophelia had never seen Azriel move so fast. One moment she was sprawled out on the counter top, the next Azriel had her behind his back, guarding her from being seen by Cass and Nesta, who had just caught them in a very compromising situation. A snarl she had never heard from Azriel ripped from his throat.

“Oh come now, Az! How many times have you walked in on me and Ness? It’s only fair I get you back.”

But she didn’t wait for Azriel’s reply, because she was already sprinting to her room.

She couldn’t want this.

#a court of silver flames #a court of wings and ruin #a court of mist and fury #a court of thorns and roses #acotar #azriel shadowsinger #azriel #azriel smut #azriel angst #azriel imagine #azriel x ofc #azriel x you #azriel x female!reader #rhysand #feyre #feysand #cassian #azriel fanfic #nesta #azriel one shot #azriel spymaster #bat boys #shadownsinger #azriel fluff #big angst #acosf #acomaf #acowar #i’m sorry #this is gonna hurt

[xreaderbooks]

All I breathe (1)

Pair: Azriel x Vanserra Reader 

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings: Language, mentions of abuse, trauma, and torture

Summary: After the events of the war, Y/n struggles to move on and find her place in the night court. All but one member has forgiven the past. 

Also available on Wattpad and AO3

Playlist

a/n: let me know if you want to be tagged for future parts, this was based on two requests that I got a while ago, I promised them that I would post this soon but it never happened but here it is literally a year later. Two requests merged into one. This is a enemies to lovers + other court reader x Azriel requested fic.

Masterlist  - Series Masterist - Next Chapter

The family gathered around the dinner table, seating themselves in their respective spots. One by one- the clambering not stopping even as they sat, conversation echoed within the walls of the river house. Every Saturday; mandatory for everyone. Your position in the High Lord's inner circle was questionable.

Your fraternal twin brother was the unwanted mate of the High Lady's second eldest sister; and you? You've managed to gain a job as the night court emissary alongside Lucien, though you wouldn't exactly say you acquired the job yourself. Circumstances weren't so easily spoken of.

You took your place between Lucien and Nesta. The air around you was tense, not at all the influence of those around you, it was simply how you felt whenever you ate dinner with Rhysand's family. Quarrels between you and the night court have long been settled but for so long these people had been your enemy. While you held nothing against them except for maybe one of them, your remorse hasn't allowed you to move on from your past.

The burn of a stare from the person sitting directly across from you pulled you out of your thoughts. You lifted your head from the plate of food your brother served you and narrowed your eyes at him. You picked up your fork and rolled your eyes, focusing your attention back on eating.

~~~

He was a nuisance, a fly following the scent of your blood.

Seriously for someone who hated you so damn much, he truly does not leave you alone. You paced in front of the door of the war room before finally deciding to walk in, inconveniently as you did, the door opened. As someone walked out the door it slammed into your nose.

You let out a yelp, clutching your nose as your attacker swiftly moves past you. "Fuck!"

"Watch yourself," Azriel snarled. It was the only acknowledgment he gave you as he walked away. Somehow with your aching nose, you were able to catch his scent, it made you shiver, though you didn't know whether it was because of the slow subsiding pain or your body's natural reaction to preserve you from the shadowsinger's aura.

"An apology would be appreciated." You murmured. You reopened the door about to enter when you heard him.

"Perhaps if you weren't sneaking around this accident wouldn't have happened." His head was looking over his shoulder as he spoke.

"Last I heard, sneaking around is your thing, far be it from me to do your job." Your body's halfway through to the room on the other side of the door. "And I'll have you know my being here was requested."

You didn't wait for him to respond, letting the door close on its own behind you, you pressed your back against it and gently tapped your nose.

"Are you alright?" A voice rose from the middle of the room. You winced, forgetting what you were here for even as you were just talking about it.

You sighed, "Yes. A small incident, though I'm sure you already knew that."

Rhysand gave you a questioning look, "We sure it's not broken?"

"A broken nose definitely doesn't feel as okay as it does now," You made your way to the violet-eyed male who called upon you. The reason for your pacing and your almost-broken nose. He motioned for you to have a seat in the chair across from him. The awkward feeling crept in, this male was daemati which meant you'd have to build your mental block to keep your thoughts from being too loud and letting him into your anxiety.

"There's no need for you to worry Y/n," It was too late. "Why do you stress?"

His concern conflicted you, he should hate you. Your acquaintance was past hate but culpability ate you. "I don't, I'm fine."

"I noticed you were quiet at dinner, Feyre noticed."

"She didn't want to tell me herself that she noticed?" Your tone slipped into defense. In truth, you missed Feyre's company, you hadn't had a proper conversation with your new High lady since you made Velaris your permanent residence.

"She doesn't want to pry."

"And you do?"

"I'm your High Lord, it's my job to see that my people are faring well in my court."

"And are you?" You furrowed your brows, "My High Lord, I mean."

Rhysand chuckled, "Y/n, you are not your family. No matter the part you played when Feyre was trapped with that bastard." The bastard being Tamlin, the male who was the key component in your guilt.

Your fake husband for all intents and purposes.

"Knowing this," He continued. "Feyre has moved on, it's time you have to."

You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding, "There's just so much I feel I need to apologize for. I was wrong about everything, about you and your court. What you've built here is beautiful and I do not want you or Feyre to think that I am taking this for granted, all things considered."

"You have apologized enough. And all things considered, you are one of us." He gave you a small smile. "Now we have business to discuss, this will be a tough one but it's one that only you can do."

He explained the details of the assignment, you were to join Azriel or more like the other way around. To go to the Autumn Court, a stronger strain of fae bane had been created and word had come that it was traveling in the direction of that court. Dangerous as it is to go back to that court when you were living in the night court and no longer under Tamlin's protection, the world would be an even more dangerous place if Beron got his hands on the new poisonous plant. Azriel will continue his spy work while you, the 'distraction' of sorts will meet with your kin. Everything is to be kept under wraps, no one wanted to know what Beron would do with a dosage of a poison that strong.

Your position as emissary would ward away any suspicion and your presence absolutely distracting to the family you hadn't seen since the war had ended.

You cursed Lucien for leaving so suddenly this morning. He should be here and taking this job, you felt his absence completely, you were alone. You lived- temporarily- in a house full of people you once hated, now you were pretty confident you could call them friends and yet you were alone.

~~~

It had been a while since you were bait. Long before you joined the Spring Court with your brother, when you were still a girl and life could be perceived as happy, Eris and the rest of your brothers knew your beauty could capture men with even the strongest of wills. You were young and innocent and it was easy. They used you as a trap, a siren of sorts, to lure the men who had wronged them. Males who had committed all sorts of crimes and those who hadn't committed any at all. It had been a job that you weren't nicely compensated for.

Perhaps it was the only time you had received any compliments from your family at all, with Lucien being the exception. You were paid with the slightest amount of praise from your father and brothers and an unlimited amount of guilt for pulling in men to their deaths. With a less-than-decent monetary sum. They didn't see the need for you to have as much money as they did when you lived in the palace and this way you could be solely dependent on them. You would have no escape.

In the short time, you had with these men whether they were criminals or not, you mourned for them- the kind-hearted ones at least. You used to pray to the mother for forgiveness and with time you became numb.

That was until you had fallen in love with one of them.

You were the type of girl who had hopelessly believed in finding your mate, despite the fact that having a mate was a rare thing, that was proving not to be the case more often now. You couldn't possibly know what it would feel like to have the mating bond, but if what you felt for the boy was anything close to it, you don't know what you would do with yourself if you were to be so blessed.

If there was one thing you and your brother, Lucien, could relate to- is tragic love stories.

Your father loved his boys and your favorite brother but you were a disappointment. You were a spoiled child, always getting what you wanted with anything and everything you could ask for, with your gentle compassion no one could complain. As you got older, the threat of reality faced you, you were a female in a family of sadistic males.

Their love for you faded and soon you were a bargaining chip and if anyone tampered with the value of the one card they held that could gain them access to whatever and whoever, they would pay. And so the pretty baker boy who inherited his father's great debt to your family had to pay.

You didn't get the chance to tell him how much you truly loved him, you didn't even know his name. You didn't get to know any of the names of the males you flirted with to stop any form of attachment to them. It was for the best, you thought, it prevented you from acting in ways you knew you would regret.

You reflected on the traumatic events from your life as you packed. There would not be much, knowing your family they would have your wardrobe ready for your arrival. Weapons and equipment for your travels were what you needed, so far everything was accounted for and ready to go.

You mentally checked for everything you needed when a knock on your door pulled you out of your thoughts.

"How are things?" The youngest Archeron sister stood at the door frame.

"Good," You nodded, looking around the room for a hint at anything you might have missed. "Just finishing up."

An amused smile formed with an eyebrow quirk, "You do realize you leave tomorrow at noon?"

"I do, I just like to be prepared, that way I can sleep peacefully and possibly remember if I've forgotten something." You smiled softly, this felt normal. Like old times.

She walked into your room now, traced her fingers atop the furniture, and she paused at an iridescent music box. She picked it up and opened it, winding it up. "Reminds me of someone I know."

"What do you mean?" You eyed the box, knowing what it meant. During Feyre's time at the Spring Court, you were friends. As much friends as she and Lucien had been, even closer still. You tried to protect her from Tamlin in ways that you could but there was only so much you could do when you owed him your life. The music box was a comfort gift to her, things were getting complicated with Tamlin and they were about to get worse. You knew of this tune you heard once in a dream and had gifted the music box to her. She listened to it while she painted.

"Azriel. You both are so similar in the smallest ways, he's always ready for anything. Shame you don't get along." She pursed her lips.

You almost took it offensively when you remembered that this was progress, you and Feyre had spoken civilly, you apologized and begged for forgiveness, spoke some more and it was fine. But this was the closest it had been to how it used to be without the involvement of Tamlin. It didn't help that you noticed how true Feyre's words were.

You huffed, "Not my fault he's a prick and doesn't like me. I don't like him much either but I'd be willing to try if he didn't make it so godsdamned difficult."

"Yeah, he has trust issues-" She closed the music box once she was done observing it. "May I keep this?"

Your eyes softened, "Of course."

She pulled you into a hug, "Y/n, I know Az hasn't made it easy and it might not be obvious but I do trust you, a lot has happened since the past and you have long since redeemed yourself. Not only do I think so but the rest of them do too."

You squeezed her in thanks with shut eyes, willing the tears away. You had missed her friendship. It was a slow and agonizing process, moving to the Night Court in the middle of a war and getting to know the people Feyre had chosen. These people you grew up hating, the enemy whom you heard nothing but bad from time and time again from people who influenced your whole life. Then realizing why she had chosen them. These people were a family and nothing like what you've heard or expected.

It was a strange sight to see how naturally fun-loving yet powerful they are. It was taunting at first, how unbothered they were while you sat through dinners silently observing them. You didn't know if you would ever not feel like an outsider around them but eventually, after a long conversation, you and Mor had formed a friendship, and so had you and Cassian with the training you had decided to start. You and Rhysand were professional mostly, he's been trying to get you to be more at ease around him but knowing everything with his mother, sister, and Feyre- it was hard to let go of the fact that you were on the wrong side for a long time.

Now that you know you and Feyre were all good, maybe you could finally start to move on.

She pulled away and laid a hand on your cheek, swiping her thumb across your cheek, a sweet gesture. "You're gonna kill me."

Your eyes widened, "What?"

She eased you to sit at the edge of your bed, clasping her hands in front of her and clearing her throat. "You and Azriel are sharing a room in Autumn."

"What?" Your jaw dropped.

"It's either that or Azriel camps out in the woods nearby but that'll increase the risk of him getting caught and they don't know he's gonna be in Autumn at all at least not for the first few days-"

"Can't he just winnow back and forth?" You argued.

"You know that'll be a waste of energy you're not even winnowing there all the way, besides it's not so bad, hopefully, this will get you both to finally get to know each other."

"Spending the night with him is a waste of energy," You murmured. As if going to your hellscape of a childhood home wasn't enough.

A wide grin spread across her face, "Actually-"

You caught onto her amusement, "Nope. That's not happening- Gods, how long am I stuck with him?"

"4 nights. Not counting the night you will more than likely have to stay at dawn court, which reminds me we have to send word to Thesan." She said that last part to herself, zoning out slightly, no doubt communicating with Rhysand but speaking out loud.

"Does he know?" There's no way he'll ever agree, he'll get caught in the woods before he ever agrees to sleep in the same room as you. He avoids you at all costs and when he is around you his words are violent. They call him the quiet one yet his slick tongue is sharper than his knives whenever you're around.

"Rhysand is speaking to him right now," As if it were planned the house rattled at the slam of the heavy front door. You and Feyre flinched at the reverberating sound. You cocked your head and raised a brow. She winced, "He'll be fine."

~~~

You sat at the breakfast table witnessing the atrocity that was happening in front of you, your brother's mate was softly caressing the spymaster's arm, and they whispered quietly to each other. The only ounce of kindness you had ever seen the male with blue siphons was with her. It was irritating. Luciens mate was infatuated with your enemy, how comical.

You didn't know what to make of your High Lady's sister, she barely spoke to you kept to herself and sometimes to her sisters, Nesta was highly protective of her and so was Azriel. It was a bit bothersome when something within you told you there was more to her than the delicate demeanor she portrayed. You didn't care to find out honestly, what you did care about was Luciens happiness.

Not that Elain owes Lucien anything but seeing your brother chase and cater to her at any given chance was disheartening, she can't even give him the courtesy of rejecting the bond. With that maybe then he'd heal from the breaking of the bond. But she didn't reject him and you knew that gave Lucien hope, but as you watch the pair standing on the veranda, there was no none.

What you would have given to have a mate yet now you weren't so sure.

"Are you done?" A voice cut through your mind and suddenly you realize a tall sculpted figure was standing in front of you.

You set down the glass of orange juice you were drinking, before licking your lips and thinking of a response, only to ask "What?"

He rolled his eyes and took the seat diagonal from you, "Are you done staring?"

"I wasn't staring, I was trying to admire the view that you and the fair young maiden were blocking." You glared at him and slid out of your chair, grabbing your empty plate and glass about to head to the kitchen.

"Oh is that what that was?" He glared back.

"Yeah, and you know for someone who is supposedly one of the most powerful Illyrians in the world you seem pretty weak to me, Shadowsinger. Pining over female after female-"

He was out of his chair and towering over you in a flash with teeth bared, "Don't speak of what you don't know, Firewielder."

"I only speak of what I see," You stepped an inch closer though you weren't sure if it was entirely possible considering you were now breathing the same breath. "Tell was she praying for your safe return in her arms while you go off to war."

"What do you care, Vanserra?" He laughed bitterly, "I applaud you for being aware of how much you lack being worthy of any sort of affection. Is that why you frown at Elain so? because you know that unlike her you don't deserve to be cared for."

You felt the familiar burn in your veins, you were shaking from the restraint of wanting to hurt him. His height made you tilt your head up to look him in the eye, you hated it. He was too close and your neck strained from the height difference. Your eyes burned with hatred, he was the only member of the inner circle you truly believed was a monster from hell. His shadows flurried behind him, as restless as the flames you kept under control. You needed to get away from him to release your stress before you exploded but he wasn't budging away from the eye contact so you wouldn't either.

"What's going on guys?" Cassian's leaning by the entrance of the room, arms crossed chewing on an apple. "If you guys want to take out some of that tension and potentially kill each other there's a whole yard out front you could do that on, let's not disturb the peace of this household. Or if it's the other type of tension, do it the normal way and go upstairs."

You backed away from Azriel, storming off to the kitchen to dispose of the plate and cup.

~~~

Chapter 2

#azriel x reader #azriel acotar #azriel x you #azriel #azriel x female!reader #azriel x y/n #acotar x reader #acotar imagines #acotar #enemies to lovers #enemies to found family #eris x reader #feyre x rhysand #feyre x reader #rhysand x reader #cassian x reader #lucien x reader #autumn court #night court #lady autumn x helion

[illyrian-dreamer]

And Then There Were None – Part 2

Azriel/fem!reader

Synopsis: In the lead up to the war, Hybern releases a catastrophic spell that wipes out all humans, sparing just one.

Abandoned in the desolate human lands, you scavenge to survive long enough to find your family.

Reluctantly, you are found by the Shadowsinger as fate intervenes to guide you under his watchful eye.

<<&lt;Part 1

Word count: 5.2k

Warnings: Death, blood, suggestions of miscarriage, suicidal themes

You woke in a bed as soft as the clouds, the covers silken with feathery pillows piled beneath your neck so plush your hardly felt them. 

A level of luxury you had never known could exist – and that’s how you knew you weren't home. 

Vision a blur, the room you woke to was dim, safe from the fire that crackled at the opposite end. Your vision reeled as it took in the space around you - an obnoxiously large bedroom. 

The haze lingered as you raised your hand in front of your face - a quick way to decide between reality or dream. If this were real, someone had done an awfully good job at scrubbing the dirt from your fingernails. 

But then a familiar ache throbbed as you bought your other hand from under the covers, and a stark white bandaged wrapped tightly at your wrist. Real then, and that fae male had indeed broken your wrist. The scars from your journey were faint now, but still there too. 

You felt for your stomach under the covers then, for any signs of your lingering ailment. They had changed you - thick cotton like padding within the fresh undergarment and the softest gown you had ever felt between your fingers.

You pushed the thought of who might have changed you from your mind. Healers - you hoped. 

Your skin beneath the gown was soft and oily, and smelt of salve. The healers had done well to heal you. Good, this was good. It meant you had a chance to return home, continue your search. 

Gods – the search, your family. You had to continue.

You were alone in this room, and it was night - all good signs. Perhaps with enough strength, you might slip be able to escape unnoticed…

With a slight dizziness, you swung your legs from the bed, toes pressing to the warm, rich wood - as if they floor was warmed from within. 

You wouldn’t dare to poke your head out the door - not in a house of creatures with heightened senses. 

The windows - that was your only option to remain unseen. 

Whether it was the delirium of the events days prior or the haze of exhaustion you were yet to shake, you didn't consider escaping into an unknown lands in nothing more than a nightgown was a fools choice, mortifying at the least. But survival called, your family called. 

Padding around the postered bed, you scanned quickly for your belongings . Clothes, waist belt, knives were no where to be found. 

The cupboard was empty, safe from a long black coat made from the softest velvet your had ever felt. Tying the fabric firm at your waist, you didn’t take the time to roll the sleeves that drooped well past your fingertips - clearly made for a much taller, larger form than your own. Black was good, especially at night, helping conceal the silky cream night robe that seemed to scream find me.

If you had the time, you would have marvelled at the  wall of windows - in shapes and sizes you didn't know a glass welder could blow. Arched in a row of three, each of them had smaller panes within - still large enough to fit through, and with latches. 

Perfect. 

You fiddled with the latch, the world outside dark and unmoving with no sign of light until you cast your eyes upwards. Fingers halting on the latch, your breath knocked from you chest as you observed the most brilliant array of stars you had ever seen. 

Were these the same stars as the human lands? How was it that such magnificent beauty was concealed from your own part of the world?

Another stab of loathing for fae found you then – it seemed even the Mother was versed in reserving luxuries only for them.

The latch clicked open, and you pushed gently against the pane, the window unmoving. Frowning, you pushed again, before trying to pull it inside instead. The glass moved on smooth, oiled hinges - and that’s when the howling began. 

As loud as a pack of wolves, yet that insistent noise was instead from wind. 

Fretting at the noise, you glanced behind you in urgency. Any second now they would come, the wind as good as any alarm. So with a strong grip on the window ledge, you pushed your head through, eyes squinting through the unforgiving gales. 

The wind almost knocked you, hair immediately whipping this was and that, eyes stinging with tears as you failed to see clearly.

Scanning as best you could, you saw no stairs of landings to climb to, no balcony from which you could hope to escape. 

And then you looked down.

It was instinct to back away, so fast that the back of your head knocked against the pane, and a quick profanity escaping your lips. 

You had never been so high up before. Never knew anything could be built so tall. 

With a roll of your stomach, you forced your head back out, avoiding looking anywhere below the horizon.

On the far left, hidden mostly by brick, was a distant glow of a city, the lights warm and flickering with glorious life. And between you and it - a river, it’s water the blackest of blacks in the night, besides from the reflection of the city that budded it’s banks. 

To your right - dark, intimidating forms of mountains and peaks. And with a quick flash below, far, far below, there was only night. 

Your gut lurched both from the height and realisation - it was suicide to try and escape. 

It took a moment to force your rigid muscles to push yourself back inside the room, hair strewn over your face and cheeks pink from the bite of the cold. 

“We don't usually advise opening the windows here,” a melodic voice spoke over the wind. 

Hissing in fright, you whipped your head behind you, to the most beautiful women you had ever seen. And beside her - the same blue siphoned male, his eyes aglow with hazel. 

You fished for your voice then, strained in your throat from days of not speaking, the rush from the wind and the awe of what and who stood before you fighting for silence. 

They were am incredibly handsome couple. 

Folded clothes in her hand, the blond simply placed the outfit on a spare reading chair, moving lightly to re-hatch the window behind you. You almost sighed in relief as the piercing howling stopped. 

“The windows are charmed to block out the noise,” she explained, her tone light and friendly despite the step of caution you took to distance yourself. “Well, don't you look good in black,” she perked, brown eyes scanning you, her smile sincere.

You looked down, the fabric of the coat drooping from your frame. 

“I stole this,” you said dumbly, before cursing yourself silently. 

The women laughed, and you could have sworn a slight smile pulled at the males lips too. 

“That’s quite alright, besides, you were awake before I could deliver you some proper clothes,” she gestured to the set she bought in, but you were fixed on those golden locks, the way they bounced when she moved, and that dress…

“I’m Morrigan by the way, but you can call me Mor.” If she caught you staring at her, she did not let on.

You frowned, senses returning, and you scanned the room again. Formalities, names, nicknames –completely unnecessary, unless…

“I must carry on with my search,” you said sternly, eyes darting between her and the blue-siphoned male. 

He knew. He would have told her.

Those large, towering wings pulled in tighter against his frame, and the male opened his mouth to respond. But Morrigon beat him to it. 

“You’re awake much earlier than the healers expected. They advised you may need a few more days rest.”

You tried to hide your panic, eyes scanning her, then the door, then where Azriel stood between it. 

Mor traced your eyes. “We are no threat to you,” she said gently.

You swallowed. “Then I am free to leave?”

Mor schooled her face into something softer, more sympathetic. “You may want to meet with out High Lord and Lady. I know they are eager to meet you.”

“Me?”

She nodded. “They wish to discuss your predicament.”

“Have they found my family?” you all but blurted, heart thundering with anticipation.

She shook her head then, her face falling more grave. “I’m sorry, I haven't any news.”

A gnawing at your stomach then - something was wrong. How long had they kept looking, had they found anyone? 

“How many days was I-?"

“Four,” the male answered, hands still clasped behind his back. There was no smile on his face, but it remained soft. 

“And up and about well ahead of the seven days the healers predicted! Quite the fighter you are Y/N,” Morrigan chirped.

You almost jumped at the use of your name. And then a scowl fixed on your face.

“My apologies!” More gasped quickly, and you missed the glare Azriel threw her way, Mor’s eyes meeting his with guilt. “Please forgive me, I forget that humans aren't accustomed to-"

“Mind reading?” you gritted, more exposed under the ridiculous ensemble of clothes you wore. You wish you could drown in the lengths of extra fabric. 

Mor wore a broken smile. “Of sorts, yes.” She paused then, fretting to fill the silence. “Would you like to change your clothes? They should be to your size.” 

You looked at the set neatly folded at the chair. 

“The healers have washed you, but we can draw you another bath if you’d prefer?”

Your cheeks reddened at the question, the male’s eyes politely finding somewhere else in the room to fix that gaze.

Was this their way of telling you that you smelt?

Humiliated and frustrated, your eyes narrowed on the male. “What is your name?”

Hazel flicked back to you, and he took a moment of silence to observe you before answering. “Azriel.”

You eyed him up and down, taking him in fully. Tall, large, muscled - your attempts to stab him would have been laughable. Delirious indeed. 

As he eyed you back, his gaze fixed your wrist, even while concealed beneath the velvet coat. “I am sorry to have hurt you.”

Civilised - far more civilised than you would have expected fae to be. 

You cleared your throat. “Well, I suppose I’m sorry for my attempts of murder.”

His mouth pulled into a polite smile, the apples of his cheeks glowing in the firelight. 

Mor chimed in then. “They told me you caught Azirel off guard, Y/N. Like I said - quite the fighter. Not just anyone can catch the Shadowsinger by surprise.”

Shadowsinger. As if at their mention, the furling, smoky shadows peaked from Azriel, and you let out a small yelp. It seemed it was your turn to be surprised. 

Without a whisper of a word, they withdrew into the Shadowsinger himself, as if scolded back into place. Azriel gave no hint of amusement as he kept watching you. 

Your eyes danced from him back to Mor, cheeks once again redening. 

“This is… overwhelming,” you admitted. 

Mor gave you a sympathetic smile, before placing a delicate, manicured hand on your shoulder. “A bath, then?”

You nodded, and she led you to the bathroom, candles lighting with the wave of her hand, and water now filling the marbled pool, steam quick to fill the room. 

You forget about Azriel in the other room as Mor closed the door behind her, marvelling at the arches and architecture, a new set of large windows in this room, this time facing the city. You padded there mindlessly, watching the twinkle of the town that beckoned. 

“Velaris,” Mor came to stand beside you. “Or, the City of Starlight. It’s location is well concealed, unknown by the other courts.”

You were reminded of the courts then, the brief lessons they had taught you at school. The divide of seven different courts, each ruled by a High Lord determined by their magic gifted the Mother and bloodline. Allies, enemies – it was complicated twining of politics and power. 

But you had never heard of Velaris. 

“This place is a secret?”

Mor nodded. “The true home of the High Lord and Lady of the Night Court. A paradise they keep concealed, untouched by others.”

“Why?”

Mor chewed her cheek. “It’s safer this way,” she said simply. 

“And you trust me with such information?”

Mor’s brown eyes warmed, but something sadder hid behind them. “It doesn't seem fair to lie to you about your own whereabouts.”

You nodded, eyes finding the city beyond again. “You mentioned the High Lord and Lady want to meet. Rhysand and Feyre?” Your head ached at the strain to remember their names, but the information found you. 

Mor smiled at their names, and you remembered the way the males had too when they first found you. Loyalty coursed through them like some kind of magic. If you wanted to survive, you would be sure to respect their hierarchy. 

“Morrigan,” you swallowed, bracing yourself for an answer. “Please, what do you know of the search?”

Mor stiffened, pausing for a moment. “The High Lord and Lady are on their way home to meet with you. They will tell you all they know.”

You eyed her carefully, your heart straining. “They haven't found my family, have they?”

Mor’s face of sympathy was beautiful, whether schooled or real. “I’m sorry, I really can not tell you.”

You swallowed once before nodding, eyes casting out to the city of Velaris, the name foreign in your mind.

“They are travelling as fast as they can, and should be here within a few hours,” she reassured. How or where from you didn't bother to ask. 

“A bath then,” you nodded.

Mor smiled tightly. “Should you need anything, just ask. This house - the House of Wind - is just as alive as you and I. You should only have to speak what you wish.”

You nodded, hiding the overwhelming thought of a magical living house as the pool of warm scented water beckoned you with furls of steam.

“A fitting name,” you murmured, remembering of the persistent howl that waited just outside those obnoxious windows.

Mor grinned, catching your every word. “Isn’t it just,” she called and she fluttered from the room, pulling the large, carved door closed behind her. 

You took a few moments of silence, again scanning the marble-splayed room you now found yourself in. Dream or reality, you were still yet to be convinced. 

That was, until your dropped your undergarments, the thick wads of cotton stained with specks of bright, fresh blood. A saddened whimper escaped you, and your hands instantly found your belly, phantom cramps pulling from within. 

You thought about calling for Morrigon, to demand an answer or to see a healer again. But deep down you knew, and that instinct to protect yourself, your privacy, was greater. 

A waft of essential oils blew your way, as if the house was beckoning you to bathe. Toeing the water, each of your muscles seems to relax and steam clouded around you. An uncontrollable sigh left you as you moved deeper and deeper, breasts bobbing beneath the water, the muscles in your abdomen glad for the relaxant. 

You had never had a bath like this, never indulged in such a level of luxury. Was this how all fae bathed, or just the ones so closely aligned with royals?

It was a jarring comparison to the tin bath in your family home, the steam quick to escape from the batches of hot water your mother boiled in the kettle when you were young. As you grew older, you would often forgo using the kettle, bearing the bite of the cold for efficiency, only treating the children when you bathed them.

A shock of panic found you as the pool dipped even deeper, and you shot from your toes back to the scooped edges of the pool, clinging to the edge. Obviously built for creatures much taller and larger than you, while you on the other hand had never learnt to swim. Not when your parents were so busy, and the creek behind your home merely ankle deep.

Bathe, change, and then you would have your answers - you reminded yourself. So you scrubbed with determination, dipping your head beneath the water and rubbing the pads of your fingers at your scalp too, washing away any remains of the taxing journey it took to get here. 

You would start your search fresh, start anew, even swallow your hate for fae if it meant the help of the High Lord and Lady of the Night Court. You could drink their wine and pass pleasant smiles if it meant they would aide you, if it meant your family returning home safely. 

———— 

You looked at yourself in the mirror, the black tunic and pants gifted by Mor fitting better than any of your skirts and dresses back home. The fabric was soft yet thick, protecting you from the cold, even while the House of Wind seemed to warm from within. 

There were slippers waiting by your bed, black also, and your skin seemed to glow from the oils from the bath. The face staring back at you was clean, yet tired, the bags under your eyes still a swell of purple. Forcing your shoulders back, you forced a stance of determination. You could do this, you could meet with the most powerful creatures of Prythian, and you would convince them to help you.

With a gentle knock at the door, a voice called. “It’s Mor.”

“Come in,” you answered turning from the mirror, hands finding the pockets on your pants.

Her eyes warmed at the site of you. “Black certainly does suit you,” she repeated, and you wondered about the comment from earlier. Loyalty to black, it seemed, was also a part of their strange culture. Perhaps something to do with the Night Court, and you wondered if the other courts found such ties to certain colours. 

“Thank you for the clothes. I will return them once-"

Mor raised her hand dismissevely. “We’d hear of no such thing. Are you ready?”

You nodded. “Are they?”

“Rhys and Feyre arrived a half hour ago. They await you in their office.” 

Mor seemed to want to take your hand, but rethought it, and instead raised a palm to the door. 

“Follow me,” she hummed before striding for the door, red gown trailing behind her. 

With a deep breath, you followed in silence.

————

“Here she is,” Mor cooed musically as she pushed the doors open to the office, the High Lord and Lady stopping their polite conversation with as they turned to take you in. 

Your knees almost buckled under their gaze.

That power, even as a human you felt it from many steps away, steely blue and violet eyes seemingly pinning you to your spot. A heavy dose of intimidation overcame you and your body faltered, even though their eyes remained soft, their smiles friendly. 

They both stood, Rhysand donned in a neat black suit, Feyre’s dark gown falling from her frame like liquid night. Gorgeous – an absolutely gorgeous sight the both of them were. 

“A pleasure to meet you,” Feyre spoke, her voice and as smooth as Morrigon’s, yet younger. 

“Welcome to our home,” Rhysand added. 

Blinking between the two, your knees almost groaned as you forced a curt bow. “Thank you, High Lord and High L-Lady,” you stammered. “For your hospitality.”

You waited for any sign of compliance from your bow - knowing that fae spoke a language of hierarchy and formality. 

But your were instead met with an informal sideways smile of Feyre. “Please, call us Rhys and Feyre.”

You nodded, although you couldn't see yourself respecting that wish. 

“Are you feeling any better?” Rhysand asked, violet eyes piercing, refusing to leave you. “We were told you had survived almost a fortnight on your own. That is very impressive.”

You weren't sure you’d ever get used to the unblinking ways of the fae as you blushed at his compliment. Had their parent’s never taught them it was rude to stare?

The smallest of smiles tugged at Rhys’s lips.

But you muffled your thoughts, forcing yourself to answer. “Feeling much better, thank you High Lord. You swallowed tightly, fishing for the right words to say. “And to your healers,” you added with rush. “Thanks to them too.”

“I am glad,” Rhysand smiled, moved back into his seat and gesturing for you to do the same.

“I’ve informed Y/N that you would update her on the search for the humans, to explain your own findings.” You could have kissed Mor for steering the conversation, desperate to hear what the High Lord and Lady had to say. 

Feyre immediately began fiddling with the fingers, before Rhysand took them in his own hand. You observed closely at the small interaction, Feyre’s nervous fidget, Rhysand’s immediate response. They seemed to speak na unspoken language.

Not good, not good, not good. Your nails instinctively settled into familiar wounds at your palms.

“Of course,” Rhysand answered, his beautiful features schooling into something more serious as his voice softened. 

Feyre’s eyes found you then, something like regret and sorrow burrowed within. In that moment alone, their difference in upbringing was at contrast. Rhys - ever the schooled socialite, tamed and controlled behaviour from years of perfecting courteous mannerisms. Feyre on the other hand – human, child-like sincerity shone through despite her pointed ears and occasional glimpse of canines. 

“I’m sorry to say that we have not found your family Y/N,” Rhysand said straightly. 

You nodded, assuming that had been the case. That didn't stop the sting in your eyes, or lurch of you gut. You clamped your lips against the wobble that already threatened.

“The truth is, we haven’t found a single human since finding you.”

Instantly the room began to reel, Rhysand and Feyre tipping slightly as your heart skipped to an irregular thunder. 

How could this be? You had been asleep for four days, between their armies and winged beings among them, how could they not find a single other? Your mind screamed a flurry of questions, but your remained stiff, only moving to grip the arms of your chair. 

Rhysand sighed then, glancing once at his mate who’s look of regret only deepened, tears shining in those grey-blue eyes. 

“It is with the deepest regret that we inform you we have traced a powerful magic from the lands of Hybern. A spell, rather.”

You forced your voice past the lump in your throat, past the bile that swarmed in your mouth. “What spell is that?”

Tears spilled from Feyre’s eyes, whatever control she had on her breaking into unmistakable grief. 

No, no don’t say it - your mind screamed. 

“As spell to kill all humans,” she whispered. 

You blinked. And the others watched, waiting.

You blinked a few more times.

"What did you say?"

Rhys's frown was pained. "It seems Hybern was intent on capturing your lands, and used a magic so strong it expelled humans..."

But Rhys's voice grew muffled as your vision narrowed, clouding with darkness.

And then it hit you.

It was as if someone had pulled the floor from underneath you. The room tipped unforgivably, vision blurring and stomach lurching with the lack of food in days.

A broken noise escaped you.

“Y/N, you must breath,” a voice spoke.

Panicked, laboured breaths wheezed from you, and you clenched your eyes shut past the horror of what they had told you.

Meek breaths passed your chest as you tried to speak. “I don’t-how, I don't understand.”

“Hybern has access to the cauldron, and we believe he used it to seize the territory of human lands.”

“It worked then, then spell? They’re gone?” You voice was hoarse, breathy with distraught. Tears had not found you yet, only an overwhelming dread laced with a flicker of denial.

Even while the room danced around you, you caught Rhysand’s tight nod, his face grave and solemn. “We are so sorry.”

Mor’s hand was gentle at your back, as an all consuming anxiety took over and you clutched at your head.

“Please do not touch me,” you rasped, audible wheezes catching in your throat.

Immediately her hand lifted.

“Dead, then,” you swallowed another rise of bile, raising frantic eyes to Feyre.

Broken eyes locked with yours. “I’m so very, very sorry Y/N” she whispered.

“My family, my siblings? Dead?”

She was crying, but you didn't care. You waited for the answer. All she offered was a nod. 

A broken, crazed laugh found you then. It was a cold, lonely thing, and you caught Mor exchange a look with her High Lord. There was nothing they could do except watch as you ran shaking hands over your face. 

You were trembling, eyes dancing frantically. No. No no no. This was unbelievable. You didn't believe them, you refused to.

“Impossible,” you scoffed.

“We wish it were, Y/N truly,” Mor said softly.

“Then pray tell, how it is that I survived?”

“We’re perplexed by you remaining, Y/N. We have no answer for it,” Rhys offered, a tanned hand stroking at Feyre’s back in practiced comfort. 

“Liar,” you snarled, standing so quickly your chair fell back. 

Liars - the lot of them, to tell you of the extinction of humans when you sat there alive and well in their home. 

Rhys’s eyes pinned you, as if expecting your outburst. “I can’t begin to imagine your grief Y/N, but we tell no lies.”

“I don't believe you,” you spat, hands curling into trembling fists. “You wish to keep me here, to trap me!” Anger rose within you. Typical fae tricks and fibs, that's all this was. 

“I would have thought the same thing if I were still human,” Feyre coaxed, wiping at her eyes. “I don't blame you for not trusting us. I truly wish we were lying.”

Something in her sincerity knocked you, cracking at your anger, demanding you to consider their words true. 

But your shook your head stubbornly, crazed by their audacity, distancing yourself from the devastation that loomed underneath.

“I will not stay here and listen to this.”

You heeded for the door, pulling on the handles with trembling hands, only to find that blue siphoned male waiting on the other side. 

Azriel.

His arms were neatly tucked behind his back, legs wide and ready as if waiting for you.

If only you had your knife.

“You will let me leave,” you all but growled, eyes darting from behind him back to his frame, looking for your way out. He bore no weapons this time , but it wasn't as if he needed them.

Azriel’s eyes softened. “I can’t.” His voice was soft and steady. “It’s not safe for you out there.”

Your fists clenched tighter. “I don’t care! I will not sit here prisoner, I need to find the truth for myself.” 

You made to step around him, but those rippled hands gripped you, from the shoulders this time. 

“Let go of me!” You struggled against him, but his grip remained strong.

“Listen to me. Hybern has sent an army and they sweep the human lands as we speak. I saw it for myself – if they find you, they will kill you.”

The integrity in his voice, deep down you knew he was telling the truth, even if you refused to believe it. Because believing it meant you had lost everything, everyone. It meant the cruelest punishment from the gods - not another day with the laughter of your siblings, the caress of your mother or hold from your father. No home, no love, no warmth - just a bobbing existence, with grief as your only friend. 

Perhaps that’s why you started sobbing, still trying to pry Azriel’s hands from you with his own. 

“I don’t care, I don’t care!” you cried, voice breaking as fat tears rolled down your cheeks. “I want my family!”

Azriel cast a worried look back to the others who could only watch with pained expressions. 

Mor sprung into action, fetching a blanket from a nearby room.

“You are liars, territorial murderers, the lot of you! How could you let this happen?” your voice was hoarse once again, your knees buckling as shock took over. 

Azriel moved with you, gently bringing you to the ground as you wept, your legs folding underneath.

The blanket was strewn around you gently, Azriel’s touch surprisingly tender. "I'm sorry," he murmured, his voice a strangely soothing balm against your turmoil. "I wish things were different. But your safety is paramount."

You wanted to fight against it, to push and claw and burrow in the bubble of denial, but you hadn’t any energy left.

Waking to an empty home, to empty streets, days of travel without another human in sight – perhaps you knew all along that this nightmare was real.

The room continued to spin as reality sunk in. Your family, gone. Your siblings, so young, so innocent. The humans wiped clean from the world. A full scale genocide, and you were the only one to survive it. 

"They were children," you wailed, your words a harrowing cry. "They were only children."

Injustice, isolation and grief was leaden on your chest, so constricting and heavy you thought you might die. 

“I-I can’t breath.” One palm braced on the wooden floor, the other against your heart as you began to pant. Eyes darting between the fae that watched on, you clutched at your chest, panic swarmed with bile. 

And then you made sick. 

Azriel's grip didn't falter, and someone moved to pull the hair from your stinging eyes. 

"Try to focus on your breathing, Y/N," a voice coaxed in your mind, male or female you couldn’t tell. "In and out, slowly."

But the air felt thick, suffocating, as if the weight of the world was pressing down on you. Each breath seemed to be a struggle against an invisible force, and panic tightened its grip around your heart.

That voice in your head again. ”Just keep breathing," it said gently, the voice cutting through the haze of your panic. "Focus on my voice. You're safe here, I promise."

The words were like a lifeline in the storm raging within you, and you clenched your eyes shut, clinging to it.

Rhysand approached cautiously, his expression a mixture of sympathy and sorrow. "Az," he prompted, and the male raised from his knees.

Rhysand crouched down in front of you, his gaze unwavering. "We'll explain everything after you've rested Y/N, I promise," he said, his voice carrying the weight of truth.

And as the room slowly ceased its relentless spinning, you found yourself clinging to that promise, holding onto the hope that amidst the devastation, there was still a path forward, however uncertain it may be.

The world outside was dangerous, filled with uncertainty and threats you couldn't begin to comprehend. And Hybern. He had killed your family. Your siblings, those sweet innocent children who you loved so dearly. Your parents too.

Sobs wracked through you again, your body giving out as you let out a muffled whimper of grief.

Strong arms slid from under you turning you over to cup you by your arms and knees. And then you were being carried, away from that horrible scene, from the mess on the floor where your world came crashing down. 

You clung to whatever you could, the blanket, Azriel’s shirt, you didn't really care – but you clung and cried. Even when you were again met with the softness of a mattress, even when the weight of the duvet being drawn over as it settled against your skin. 

In that tumbleweed of devastation, a rippled hand soothed you, coaxing you to sleep. You gladly let it, letting the horrors of the world slip away, even if only for a moment. 

“Just rest now. You are safe.”

And with a final thought, you sent a prayer to the Mother to not wake up to this nightmare.

A/N: Hey pals, thank you so so much for the love and support of Part 1!! I sincerely hope you liked part 2! <3 <3 Now would you like some fries with that angst? Because it'll only get darker from here. Again, I'll tag everything I can at the top of the fic, but please have a look at the warnings ahead, I would hate to hurt anyone <3 <3 If you'd like to join the tag list for this fic, drop a comment! Thank you so much for reading, mwa!!

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