“Starman, this is Ricky’s hat but we can’t find him.”
“I bet he’s been eaten by a lion! Waah waah!”
“I’ll look for him. Sister, would you mind holding onto this very dangerous, atomic explosive for me?”
“Don’t worry, you filthy little urchins. I’ll find Ricky for you.”
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man people really will chime in with any excuse to mention they’re pregnant or have a kid(s) and every time, without fail, i say “i don’t give a shit about your kid(s)” under my breath or mentally if i’m actually standing before the person (although admittedly a disproportionate number of my friends are retired fellow expats whose children and grandchildren live in america so i don’t have to deal with this in person a lot)
i just don’t get it. i don’t understand that people will use any excuse to show their child to a shitload of strangers on the internet. out of respect for their privacy, i never share photos of my stepchild on any social media whatsoever where only friends and family could see it, let alone random-ass subreddits about cake decorating or sneks
also if i follow you and recently you posted about your children or pregnancy, this is not about you, i haven’t opened this app in a while and only see posts from about 5% of people i follow for some fucking reason (tumblr you are just terrible). you’re of course free to block or unfollow me for talking about not caring about other people’s kids and the rampant self-importance of thrusting one’s child into any contrived scenario necessary, but this is not related to anything at all i’ve seen on tumblr.
i don’t hate parents or kids, i just hate the way people exploit their kids for likes or attention. also when they give their kids shitty names. i know jaxson is supposed to be a Super Cool Original spelling of the name jackson but it’s just so asinine. it spells “jacks-son”. whatever, hate it. i wish people happiness and good health for themselves and their kids i just. don’t ever want to hear about someone’s pregnancy or pretend i think a baby is cute or care that mclauren mckinzzie (real name of a real child, actual spelling) farts on command or some such.
i think recently i saw on a mommyjacking facebook group where a person posted a picture of themselves with a giant ass lizard pet draped across their chest as they breastfed. nothing wrong with breastfeeding, but it was a reptile enthusiast group?? also, is that necessarily sanitary for the child? or perhaps unsafe? the lizard wouldn’t have known any better or meant to do harm but those precious little feets of theirs can have sharp little nails(?) and it could just be chilling and take a misstep and scratch up that newborn accidentally. all for attention on an unrelated forum??
when i was a teacher a fellow teacher and somewhat fair weather friend had a baby and while she was still on maternity leave she texted me so many times asking me to come see the baby. it was like the seinfeld episode except i never did to and see the baby. best wishes and good luck, glad you’re happy, but nope, no need for me to come awkwardly take a look at a baby just because i am female-coded. lemme send you some donuts instead.
wow this was meant to be a short thing and i really did just ramble on forever huh
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