#felt it in my soul

[technicalthinker]

ok so I was already going through it after the preview but the ep doubled down and continued to explore buck's feelings in a way that was so surreal how messy and relatable and real it was. the way it portrayed his first gay dating experience as a bi adult: the nervousness and the overthinking and self-criticism and identity crisis and just mess that can come with it.

He is on-guard and ultra-aware. He is analyzing not just his surroundings but himself. He lies and hates it. He avoids telling Maddie, makes an effort of not saying it's a guy he dated, but when confronted he tries to downplay it: "Could be very much the point" VS "It shouldn't be though right". Because Buck knows that liking a guy isn't a big deal and should be normal etc but he feels and acts like a mess?? So he feels like a fraud. There are too many thoughts about expectations that clouds his thoughts. "I dont think you're a fraud, i just think that maybe you're not sure of your own feelings yet" Maddie says and it helps. The moment when Eddie makes that comment about him being single and he gets that distant look in his eyes and realizes this is the moment of no return as he embraces the words that he has been afraid to say out loud. The way the tension starts to loosen once it has been said, the way he can breathe. Buck deciding at the end to just allow himself to be and let himself crush on Tommy and see where that takes them, because he knows he likes Tommy, and that's enough.

#911 spoilers #911 abc #911 blogging #911 #this was literally brutal like i have never felt so personally attacked by an arc holy shit #im a half-closeted bisexual and like #sure ive known ive been bi for a while but actually getting close to dating a girl for the first time as a 26 year old and it #it has put me through it #there are a handful of bi reps that hits unlike anything else and in a bizarre turn of events this might be one of them. #like the SPECIFICITY of these moments and the direction has me reeling #was a while since i felt like a character went through it #*points* HE'S ME #like moments where ive been assumed straight and ive had that fucking same look as buck did #and more often than not ive said nothing and i just #felt it in my soul #so when he DID say it was a date i like??? fuck #but also just. the fact that there is no CLEAR direction of bucks fears and acting here #it isnt a conversation of 'im afraid people will be homophobic' #there is an INTERNAL struggle and it isnt even like. internalized homophobia. #it is just messy and real and just. 'who am i' #the way he wants to avoid the topic bc it is this new side of him thats been unexplored and #yeah. they designed this to be specific towards me for sure

[sussybakaontherun]

#fran bow #killmondaygames #felt it in my soul #manlybadasshero

[cloverstellar]

i thought you were cis het

I am

#that post just resonated with me for like no reason #felt it in my soul #rose asks #anonymous

[thedoorsofmyheart]

“In my heart there was some kind of fighting that would not let me sleep.”

- William Shakespeare

#quotes #william shakespeare #2am thoughts #felt it in my soul

[house-of-slayterr]

Who gave them permission to write how I feel?

#sad songs #depression playlist #sobbing #felt it in my soul #mood #same #brand new #jesus Christ #Spotify

[k--o--m--o--r--e--b--i]

my favorite thing that happens in TOS is when they encounter some weird shit and then sulu turns around to us/kirk to make sure we’re all seeing the same thing. anyways my favorite example of this is when they encounter abraham fucking lincoln.

#literally laughed so hard when it morphed into abe lincoln #felt this sulu stare in my soul #star trek #star trek tos #sulu #hikaru sulu #mine

[majunju]

this is how they communicate

#honkai star rail #my art #they jst stare at each other for 30 minutes and then nod and go about their day #also i pulled a 5* light cone today and i felt my soul leave my body bc this was fgo all over again

[blorbosinmyheadcentral]

Can you pls do a pomni x ragatha????

Sure I can

#tadc #the amazing digital circus #pomni x ragatha #ragatha x pomni #buttonblossom #rubyr1der #Bro. Showtime may have my soul; but this??? S-tier ship #I'm not taking requests by the way. Just felt like drawing them

[alpacacare-archive]

he dont bite

#repostober #day 13 yyaayy #deltarune #undertale #gaster #wd gaster #what inspired this was an old dadster painting i saw that drew the skelefam as realistic skeletons and depicted gaster as #a skull without teeth #so i looked up what a skull without teeth looks like and !!!! look its uncanny!!!!!!! i had to draw him like that #i love looking at this cus while drawing it i was in a super nostalgic mood and listened to a bunch of my childhood songs (in my native) #so while this could be interpreted as me trying to draw something scary #whenever i look at it i immediately feel the warm fuzzies i felt while drawing it and listening to songs kid me liked #to me this is a drawing of a childhood friend #anyways jhdks.. #i tried to make the triangle shape under his head in the og sprite his rib cage #sort of morphing and contorting out of his melting body #also i tried to make the body of the sternum of this rib cage (the piece between the two sets of ribs) look like his soul #just some details i liked about this :'))))

[emiko-matsui]

I want to be an Emily but I know that I am a Murph

#me n murph 🤞🏼 #when he said YOU CANNOT DO THIS TO ME WHILE WERE DRINKING ENERGY DRINKS ALL MY WORST QUALITIES ARE HEIGHTENED AND IM GONNA FREAK OUT #i felt that #in my fucking soul #brian murphy #emily axford #dimension 20 #d20 #not another dnd podcast #naddpod #axmurph

[chxrryrose]

hendo and fabinho stood disassociating in the tunnel is a mood

#the blankest of blank stares #literally fixated on thin air #felt it in my soul

[mugwot]

some more funni cats

#everybody should be gourmand's friend #its soul healing #the rage i felt at 5p during spearmaster campaign and i couldn't even understand what he was saying #moon and suns are the best cat owners and neither of them are good cat owners #i fear that after rivulet every other cat will be too slow that cat can Go #rain world #rain world rivulet #rw rivulet #rw spearmaster #rain world spearmaster #rain world gourmand #rw gourmand #my art

[musical-attorney]

Idk how late I am or if I've posted abt this already but-

GOLLY😦😦😦 WHO THE FUCK TOLD THEM ALL TO SERVE CUNT???

#no bc everyone here looks more than drop dead gorgeous #Nahyuta is literally my everything rn #Franziska ate down to the ground💅🏾✨ #Godot is making me feel things I've never felt before #and Klavier stays serving cunt😒💅🏾 #on my soul #ace attorney #klavier gavin #miles edgeworth #apollo justice #franziska von karma #phoenix wright #diego armando #godot #simon blackquill #nahyuta sahdmadhi

[thedoorsofmyheart]

“You are my sadness, and my hope, but mostly you are my love.”

#what is grief if not love persevering #wandavision #real love #grief #beautifully written #love and loss #felt it in my soul #favorites

[sp00kymulderr]

Rise

Joel Miller x afab!reader

Warnings/Tags: 18+. Jackson Joel, Touch starved Joel, Lonely old man Joel. Too much religious imagery. Feelings, feelings, feelings. References to sex. Unedited.

Words: 700~

Summary: You are a brightness, Joel is the undeserving dark.

He hadn’t meant to stare, he really hadn’t.

The thing is, you were just so mesmerizing. The way you laughed and the way you danced and the way you could shine so bright in a world he had rarely known to be anything but cruel.

Jackson brought that out of people, Joel recognised that. The ability to let go finally, to live for more than survival. You had been half the bright star you are now when you first arrived; wary and traumatised. He knew those feelings well. Why had he held on to them for so much longer than anyone else?

You were like the antithesis to him: easy to know, easy to love, creating something out of the nothing your life had once been. You were well liked. Joel liked you more, he thought, but people saw you as someone they could talk to.

Tommy often told Joel he was respected in Jackson, appreciated. But it was never the same. He doesn’t have that glow, that brilliance. People know him. No one knows him. Not since Ellie had started to grow away from him, started to doubt him more…

No, not now. Those thoughts aren’t for now.

Right now, this moment, is for reverence. How had this happened? He had been staring more than he should last night at The Tipsy Bison. How had that lead you to be in his bed this morning? He could barely remember; the night a blur of things he didn’t think he should have been allowed to see. He had bought you a drink, you had given him a dance. And then more, and more. You had given him so much more.

Joel is staring again, your resting form so resplendent in the early morning light. So…divine…there’s no other word for it. You were made to be worshiped, he’s sure of it. Being of blazing light brought down to shine on his dimmed world.

When was the last time he had been touched before you? God, he truly doesn’t remember. Certainly not the way you touch; softness of your fingers paving the way for a needy grip on him, he wouldn’t forget that touch. He had been craving it for too long, imagining. Thought upon thought of what a thing your touch could be but he was never prepared for the reality of it.

Joels own hands find their way to you, fingers skimming the bare skin of your lower back. Unworthy. So defiant that his unworthy hands - so rough from years of wear - should get to lay a place on your body.

The word repeats again and again. Unworthy. Unworthy. Unworthy.

And yet last night you had told him in the silken whisper of your moans and pleas. Worthy. Worthy. Worthy.

His calloused hand travels its way slowly up the path of your back. A pilgrimage across a body meant for more than him. The rise and fall of your breath breathes fresh air in to the staleness of his home.

Of his heart.

What did he do to deserve this? What mistake did you make to let him have this?

Grey and alone and aching in ways that go beyond physical. But you were the one who kissed him first. You were the first to touch, to feel where he had not been felt in longer than he knew.

Joel leans slowly across to you. Those harsh fingers of his trailing down the curve of your waist. He dares to plant a pious kiss to your shoulder. Surely soon you’ll wake and realise the mistake?

“Joel” You moan. A soft little thing that makes his heart jump. The same way you’d spoke it last night while he’d had you on his lap, when he’d told you to come and you had like he should have any say in anything you did.

Fuck. He is undeserving of all of this but his greedy heart wants more. Hungry mouth wants to take you apart on it over and over again. Eager fingers itching to feel their way around every beautiful, delicate crook of your body.

He breathes your name back. You turn to him. Surely now is the time you tell him it was wrong. Now…

Joel’s breath catches as you turn to face him, pull him to you. He practically trembles as your lips meet again.

This can’t last forever. He doesn’t deserve it.

It means too much.

He means too little.

You kiss him again. He feels the glow of you everywhere.

This can’t last forever, he reminds himself.

#Joel Miller x Reader #Joel Miller fic #Joel Miller smut #Pedro Pascal Character fiction #pedrostories #idk dudes I wrote this on the train it came out of nowhere it’s probably ooc as fuck but I felt it in my soul

[kexing]

forever thinking about that interview where forcebook are like “we’ve been friends for 16 years” and gemini immediately goes “wow that’s almost the same age as me” and forcebook start having a very public mental breakdown over the passage of time

#i felt that deep in my soul aldkskkdks #forcebook #a boss and a babe #force jiratchapong #book kasidet #gemini norawit #mj talks