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#explodes and dies forever lmao
slutdge · 3 months
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typical 7 am judas moment where im sobbing over what i could have been and accomplished if my parents had loved me :)
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fallinforerling · 1 year
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LOVE ISN'T ETERNAL. chapter 9 - jb
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ೃ⁀➷ jude’s masterlist
ೃ⁀➷ jude’s taglist
ೃ⁀➷ masterlist
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After being dropped off by Jude’s parents, you stayed on the couch for a good hour thinking about how bizarre the whole day was. You didn’t even want to check your phone right now, so you just left it in your living room and went directly to get a hot shower. 
While undressing, you noticed that you had dinner while wearing Jobe’s jersey. Hah, now it made sense why so many people took double looks at you. Not that you cared.
You just wanted to relax for once. The whole process of getting ready for bed got you in a better mood; so after doing your skincare and drinking some tea, you felt ready to check your messages.
There were some texts from the girls and some from Jobe. You went for Jobe’s first since they were the most recent.
✉️ Jobe: Thank you for the weirdest night ever
✉️ You’re welcome?
✉️ Jobe: No, seriously. I haven’t seen Jude this happy for a while now
✉️ Jobe: He’s close to giggling and kicking his feet like a little girl
✉️ lmao
✉️ Maybe that’s because I told him I was going to unblock him
✉️ Jobe: Did you?
✉️ Not yet…
✉️Jobe:  Well, maybe you should
✉️ Oh my god??? What’s happening???
✉️ Jobe: I talked to him, just… Maybe? I won’t force you tho
✉️ I’ll consider it
✉️ Jobe: That’s good enough for me… Have a good night, darling
✉️ Good night, sweetie
Odd. What could possibly be happening that Jobe was (kinda) defending his brother? You didn’t blame him, obviously. But… Again, odd. With a shrug, you hopped on the girl’s group chat, which had lots of messages from hours ago.
✉️ Nikki: Weeeeell…. I was casually checking the TikToks people were posting about the game… You know, to see how it was going
✉️ Nikki: THEN… Girl, you went a bit viral agaaaaain. You appeared on the big screen and SOME people saw the little interaction Mr. Jobe and you had. The football fandom is going crazy again, a lot of people are debating if you’re his girlfriend or Gio’s girlfriend
✉️ Mia: Since none of them had said a word about the rumors… People are kinda taking sides
✉️ Mia: I also saw that after the first half some girls were looking for you because they were near your seat and you were gone. Then they noticed you were sitting next to THE Jude Bellingham and went on trying to figure out if you were his girlfriend instead while taking videos and photos to POST?!
✉️ Nikki: MESSY
✉️ Oh god… I just saw this… WHY ME, LORD?!
✉️ It’s like… For each day of peace I get, ten days of absolute chaos are piled up on my door
✉️ Nikki: It’s the drama, the fun, the footballers, the fame
✉️ Nikki: Our beautiful little WAG
✉️ Mia: If it’s not with douchie, it’s with that Gio guy
✉️ Mia: Heʼs hot af
✉️ Mia???? 
✉️ Do you want his number?
✉️ Nikki: Omg, Miaaaa
✉️ Mia: Both of you… Shut up. This isn’t about me finding Gio the hottest man alive, this is about YOU getting shipped with half of the footballers you know
✉️ Don’t remind me of that, please
✉️ I’ll better get some sleep before the vein on my forehead explodes, bye my loves
✉️ Nikki: Bye baby! Sweet dreams
✉️ Mia: Score a goal!
✉️ Fuck you lmao
Great. You were never getting rid of that stupid “popularity” among the football fanbase… Well, at least among the people that cared about the player’s love lives. They knew your face now, even if the subject of who your “boyfriend” was died down. You were out there forever for people to see and have an opinion.  
Time to sleep.
You were on your way to turn off the lights and wash your cup when the telecommunicator started to ring; you almost let out a scream. Who on Earth was ringing your house at two A.M?! With your heart beating like crazy, you ran to answer and yell to the jerk on the other side. 
“Miss! I’m so sorry to bother you this late but…” Mel’s words were interrupted by some loud male voices. “There’s a couple of gentlemen asking me to allow them into your floor…” Oh, poor Mel. 
You couldn't scream to your sweet doorman Mel.
“Mel! Hi... Gentlemen? As... Men asking to come here?” This was unbelievable.
“Yes, uh. They'd been here for at least ten minutes. I'd tried to persuade them into leaving but nothing works."
“Do you happen to recognize these gentlemen?” Your gut feeling was very reliable, so you kinda knew who it was. 
“Well… I’m not so sure about it, but I think that’s… Bukayo Saka and Jude Bellingham, miss.” 
He surely knew them at first sight, but it was adorable he was trying to dissimulate it.
“Oh, my god…” You sighed. When was this going to end? “Just… Let them in, Mel.”
“As you wish.” 
You wanted to punch someone so bad right now. But you just stayed there, by your door, waiting for what seemed to be the night of never end.
No less than five minutes later, your door was being punched at. Because that wasn't a knock. You considered for a moment letting them outside, but you weren't going to sleep if you did that. 
When you opened it, the silliest sight welcomed you. There was Bukayo, a mutual friend that you haven't seen in very long, carrying (if you can call that carrying) a very drunk Jude. How did you know he was drunk? Well, he was (seemingly) asleep against Bukayo's side, only kept from falling because of his friend's arm around his waist. 
“Okay...” Was the first thing that came out of your mouth. “This is... Something.”
“So sorry to do this at such late hours... He's been so insistent. He got a bit too drunk and started to ask about where his girlfriend was and that he wanted to come home.” Bukayo's eyes went blank, sighing. He seemed pretty sober to you. “I tried to persuade him into visiting you tomorrow, but this guy never takes no for an answer.”
“That sounds like him.” You smiled at him apologetically. Because what else could you do? No one knew you two had broken up, and this wasn't the best moment to break the news either. “Let's take him to the couch, I'll help you.”
You got closer, feeling the smell of alcohol reeking from Jude. Iugh. You took one of his arms, putting it around your shoulders. Hah, and just a couple of hours earlier you were trying to avoid just that. With a lot of effort, both of you laid him out the best you could. That didn't mean that it was done in the most careful way. So he woke up, looking at you and then at Bukayo. 
“Am I dreaming, mate?”
“Nah, fam. I did what you asked me; I took you to your girl.” He palmed Jude's arm and then smiled at you. “Now I'm out, this whole thing tired me up.”
“That's okay. Thank you for taking care of him.” You gave him a little hug after guiding him to the door. “I hope we can catch up another time without this type of thing going on.”
“Me too.” He smiled again, looking as sweet as ever, and then turned and left. 
Now you were alone with...
“Darling?” Oh no, not the darling. 
You turned, looking at Jude, who was struggling to keep himself sat upright. He was looking at you with the most drunken-hazed eyes ever, accompanied by the biggest of smiles.
“Yes, Jude?” It was better not to argue with a drunk person this late at night.
“Can I tell you something?”  
“Yeah, sure.” You got closer, sitting on the carpet. Not too close, but not too far away from him. “What is it?”
“I'm an idiot. I'm so dumb, I got drunk tonight, and I miss you.” The smile left his face, but he was still looking at you with happy eyes. “Every time I see your face, I remember that I'm mad dumb for breaking up with you. Because I still love you. A lot.” He let himself fall back into the couch pillows, sighing. “I don't know why I panicked so much a month ago. It was a stupid chat.”
“Sorry?” Your heart was beating fast because of his past confessions, but this new phrase caught your attention way more. “What chat?”
He wasn't looking at you. He was just looking up at the ceiling, like he was trying to remember something.
“Just some stupid chat the coach gave us before you arrived at Dortmund that day... He was talking about how we, as professionals, had to settle in earlier so we didn't get carried away because of all the money and parties... And the drugs. He said that there was a reason for footballers to get married and have kids at such young ages.” He sighed again, looking tired. “And I knew he was talking to the younger part of the team, which included me... I just... I felt like I was being pressured to marry immediately... I got so carried away with my thoughts that I panicked when I saw you. You make me so happy, but I didn't feel ready for any of the coach's options.”  
“So... You broke up with me instead of talking?” Woah. “That's fucked up, Jude.”
“I know... And I'm not asking you to forgive me or... Get back together with me... Even though that's what I have been wishing since I said the words, but... I wanted you to know.”
He didn't seem drunk at all now. 
“Thank you for telling me.” That's all you could say for now. Too much information to take in. 
“Would you have said yes?” He asked after a few minutes of silence, still looking at the ceiling. 
“To what?”  
“Marrying me.”
You felt like someone punched your heart and took the air out of your body. At the same time. 
“I won't answer that.” Mostly because you didn't know the answer. “Get some sleep.” You got up, looking down at him. 
“Why not?”
You took a long look at his face. You gave him a little smile, reaching for his cheek with one of your hands. You caressed it with the tip of your fingers before regretting touching him at all. He closed his eyes, but opened them when you retrieved your hand. 
“Because there's no point in answering something that's not going to happen.”
He frowned, looking offended for a second before relaxing his face again. 
“Well, I haven't asked you.”
“And you shouldn't, because that's something you do when you're sure about it... And not drunk.” You took one of the covers you kept close, tucking him on the sofa so he couldn't move. “And when you're in a relationship, of course. Now sleep or I'll kick you out of my house.”
“Okay...” He appeared so similar to a kid now, all flustered and with big eyes. “I'm sorry for all of this.”
“I forgive you.”
And that was true. You forgave him for all of it. You couldn't hold a grudge forever. It wasn't healthy. 
“Really?” Hope sparkled in his eyes. It made your heart ache.
“I promise.”
Then you got closer and kissed his forehead to prove him right about your words. He gave you the biggest of smiles, again, before falling asleep right there. You gave him a last caress on the cheek before turning the lights off and walking towards your bedroom.
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You thought it was impossible to get any sleep after what happened, but the moment your head touched the pillow, you were out. The stress was draining your energy. You blacked out until the next morning, when a knock on the door woke you up. 
You remembered everything that had happened just a couple of hours ago. There was Jude, knocking on your door like he was a stranger. Somehow, it felt like it. 
“Come on in.” You said after a few seconds, rubbing your face.
The door slowly opened up. Jude was still covered in the blanket, holding it together with one hand below his chin while the other rubbed his eye. Pretty much the same as you. You couldn't help but smile a little at the sight. 
“Good morning.” Even his voice had a little hint of shyness.
“Did you sleep well?” Was all you said while you got up and walked towards the bathroom.
“Yes...” He followed you, just two steps behind. “Thank you.”
“Stop saying 'thank you', just come here and brush your teeth.” You grabbed one of the brand new toothbrushes you kept in the drawer, offering it to him. 
He seemed so scared yet happy about your behavior while taking the toothbrush. You weren't fooling anyone, it was fun to play with his mind a little bit. Payback.
He stood there watching you brush your teeth, wash your face, and brush your hair. It was very funny.
“I'm not going to suddenly take a knife out and follow you around the house with it, Jude. Get cleaned or you won't get breakfast.” You got out of the bathroom, smiling at him when he just blinked at you. “All yours.” And then you left him alone in there.
You entered the kitchen, ready for some breakfast. You heard the bathroom sink go on and off for a few minutes. Meanwhile, you decided to make some scrambled eggs with ham and toast some beagles. It was the best you could offer with so many thoughts taking most of your concentration. 
When you were finishing the second plate, Jude appeared by the door and stayed there. He looked at the plates with surprise, like it was actually impossible for you to be making breakfast for him. 
“It's getting cold.” You offered him one of the plates that was already sitting on the mini table you had available. 
“Are you preparing me for my sudden death, darling?” He sat in front of you, waiting for you to take the first bite. He always did that. 
“Not yet.” You took a bite off the beagle, smiling when he did the same. “Maybe after I eat.” 
He smiled but didn't say anything. You ate in silence, looking at each other from time to time. You felt different around him now that you knew what caused him to break up with you. It wasn't that you suddenly forgot about everything else or how mad you felt, but it made things easier. You wanted to talk. Now there was a real reason for it. 
“I'll wash the dishes.” Before you could say anything, he took both plates and stood up. 
“Go ahead... And after you finish them, we'll talk.”
“Do I make some tea first?” 
“Yeah, that'll be nice.” 
He seemed to understand what was crossing your mind, so he made the tea quietly and walked to the living room. You followed him. 
“Well...” You took a sip of the tea. “Do you remember what you said last night?” 
“I do...” He squirmed on the seat. He was nervous. “I wanted to tell you all that sober but... I fuck up things quite regularly.” 
You smiled, shaking your head. 
“Okay, it's good for the sake of this conversation that you remember everything. Now, when I said that I forgive you, I meant it. But that doesn't mean I'm not angry or hurt by all of it.” He nodded. “I'm still disappointed about how poorly you managed the whole thing; you just needed to talk to me, and the breakup would never have happened.”
“I know.” He covered his face, sighing. “I'm an idiot.” 
“Yeah! Look at me, I spent a month thinking you didn't love me anymore, and it turns out that you just were a bastard that didn't know how to talk to his girlfriend.” You slightly pushed his arm with your foot. “You said you didn't love me as you used to... Why?” 
“I don't know.” He groaned, taking his hands off his face. “I guess I wanted you to hate me. I’ve never stopped loving you.” He grabbed your ankle, dragging your leg closer to his body. “I think I love more than before, actually.” 
You didn't say anything for a while, you just looked at him for the longest time, trying to figure out what to do next. 
“I'm very mad at you.” You took a deep breath. “That club thing you did after we broke up is still fresh in my mind. I can't pretend everything is the same just because we talked.” 
“I know. I'm a jerk for doing that. I just wanted to see if... If I could act like I was okay. I wanted to feel okay. And couldn't accept that I regretted breaking up with you the second you left.” 
“Always your big ego, huh?” You laughed. “Don't take this as if we just got back together. We're... We're friends from now on.” 
“We are friends for now.” He said, smiling. “Because I'll do everything that's in my power to win you back.”
“Whatever you say, Bellingham.”
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚⋆·˚ ༘ * TAGLIST
@mentalbaddie | @taintedstranger | @mrs-dasilvasantoss | @mbapbaesluvr | @erensfavgirly | @cinderellawithashoe | @yoitsmo07 | @seajjin | @kakuchosbff | @peterparkerbae | @alwaysclassyeagle | @itsjuspenny-blog | @lbsmainblog | @youngjayla | @freetimemachinequeen | @chaeryeongstuff | @lazyreadergirl | @trentismine | @jul1ettt | @wavessmile
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obihoe · 3 months
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the way orochimaru almost singlehandedly prevented the 4th shinobi war by suggesting to mercy kill team konan when him and tsunade and jiraiya met them .. lol. its kinda funny to me. imagine if that had happened and kuro zetsu (who cant fight for shit) doesnt manage to prevent it and nagato dies. madara's precious rinnegan get crushed on the ground. or they just lie there forever until some animal or whatever eats them lmao (and immediately explodes afterwards) but kuro zetsu then all defeated gets back to madara in his mancave of misery ... and he has to tell him that uhh, yeah, sorry, our plan failed. the eyes are gone. u sat here forever for nothing. let ur best friend stab u to death for nothing. and then he just fucks off to wait for the next transmigrants and madara is like :) this is fine. and then shuts off his own life support SFRFSFS
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justgrey · 2 months
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hallo! Would ya be willing to write Scout x Male Reader? preferably a one-shot or something, but honestly I'll settle for anything. I got a few ideas for ya to build off of if you'd like!
-Being protective of him! we talking wrapping our arms around him when someone gets too close, pre relationship.
-Flirting and getting him flustered.
-getting bloody while protecting him from an enemy
-Bit of a heavier topic- reader being masked (I always imaged like a fighter pilot helmet lmao) and being sent on a dangerous mission, one that they might not return from, even with the respawn machine. They take off their helmet and put it on Scout, giving a small smile while saying "Keep it safe for me, yea?"
-Reader might also have a cat when they leave. Hit him where it HURTS.
-Comfort while reader heals after said suicide mission
Alright gangsters, I'm exploding. it seems you want something very specific, but i can't exactly put my finger on it 🤔
Also don't question the name, motivation hit in the middle of the night when I was settling in and rewatching Arcane for the 80th time. I promise I'm sane you guys don't call a raid on me please please please
went with the suicide mission BTW if it's not immediately clear because it probably isn't I'm gonna melt
Sad Boston Boy Hours
Scout x Male Reader
Warnings : suicide mission themes, angst probably, slight gore, swearing, not proofread
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^ (dis yo boi?)
You didn't want Scout to hear about your latest mission. You wanted to delude yourself into thinking that not telling him was to make him not worry, but it was mainly because you didn't want to face him the day you had to leave.
Scout had managed to find out about it anyway through one very loud, very patriotic American as 8 out of your 9 other mercenary companions came to say their goodbyes in the dead of night.
You get a couple of handshakes, hugs, and pats on the back from the rest, and just as you're about to get in your vehicle, Scout's speedy footsteps rush out of the base.
"Woah, woah, woah! Where 'da Hell are you tryin' to go! And at 'dis time of night?!" He shouts, pulling you away and holding your arms tight.
"Scout- Scout, listen. This is something I have to do alone, alright." You try to defuse his anxiety and worry for you by running your fingers through his hair.
"Whatd'ya mean you gotta go on 'dis mission wit'out me? Wit'out anyone? Why would ya' ever gotta go somewhere without me? I mean, w- why would you even agree to 'dat?"
Scout looks stunned as you don't respond to him immediately, scratching the back of his head in confusion.
"I- It's just something I have to do. D- don't worry. I'll be ba-"
"Don't tell me 'dat, I'm not stupid."
"Scout-!"
"I said I'm not stupid. Listen ta' me, it's supposed to be me and you, forever! You. And. Me! You can't just go out and get yourself killed-!" He begins, waving his hands around to emphasise how displeased he is with this.
"Scout."
"Don't even try to-"
"Scout!"
Scout jumps a little at the volume of your voice, standing up straight in front of you. Now, he's listening to you. Finally. His ears even perk up a little.
Your hands slowly move to your helmet, taking the damn thing off to reveal your dashing face, adorned with scars and a bruise that never seems to go away.
Scout is mesmerised. He never got to see your face very often, and every time he did, it just blew him away. Why would you ever hide it away? He thinks. If he was as handsome as you, which he totally is, he wouldn't hide a damn thing, let alone his entire face.
His thoughts are interrupted as you gently raise his hands and place your helmet into them.
"Wh- why're you givin' me your helmet? 'Dis is your helmet. You're gonna need it, aren't ya'?" He closes one of his eyes and moves the helmet around a little, inspecting it.
"Not where I'll be headed. Listen, I want you to... to keep it safe for me, yeah?" You smile at him and move to caress his cheek, nervousness emanating from your affectionate touches. Scout blushes a little.
"No. You're makin' it back so that you can take your damn helmet back! I'm not losing you. I can't lose you. So I better not be keepin' this for too long." He pouts, pulling you in for a tight hug.
He wraps his arms and legs around your body for as long as he's allowed to before Heavy has to yank him off of your body.
"Damnit! Hey! I need'ta- give him a kiss. Lay off me, ya' lug!" He struggles out of Heavy's arms and kisses you on the lips before he's pulled away again, biting and scratching with your helmet in his arms.
Eventually, you're called back into the vehicle and Scout forces himself to watch as you're driven away to some place, with only your helmet as a way to keep him company.
~~~We time skipping dis so that i can time skip to dream land~~~
The last month had been Hell on Earth Scout. He was lonely and afraid that you would never make it back. Not even Medic's very best attempt at therapy (Having Archimedes follow Scout all day) could help with the mercs anxiety.
Eventually, the same bland truck that hauled you off to God knows where comes rolling back, and Saxton Hale himself holds you as you attempt to stand.
Scout sits in his room, mopey and sad, unaware of your return for a while, which allows you to swiftly get to the medbay.
"Fuck! Fuck it hurts! DON'T TOUCH THERE! TOUCH MY KIDNEY AND YOU'RE A GONER!"
"YOUR KIDNEY IS HANGING OUT OF YOUR BODY! I AM NOT SURE IF YOU ARE EDUCATED VERY WELL, BUT EITHER WAY, YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT YOUR ORGANS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE ON THE INSIDE, NOT OUTSIDE! WHY IS IT OUTSIDE?!"
"I DON'T KNOW?! I DIDN'T SURVIVE ALL THAT JUST TO GET YELLED AT BY A MADMAN! JUST HEAL ME UP ALREADY!!"
"GO FIND A HEALTH PACK!!!"
You and Medic shout back and forth at each other, alerting the whole base to your return.
Although it is Pyro that plunges their axe through Scout's door.
"H- hey! What da' heck?! There are times when a freakazoid like you should leave a man ta' mope!" Scout cries, his ears starting to pick up on the sounds of your shouts now that Pyro has so kindly opened his door for him.
"What the...?" Scout watches as you run past his door, looking desperately for a health pack as Medic chases you down with a scalpel.
Do not piss off your local medics.
"Holy shi- W- WAIT UP, ASSHOLE!"
Scout calls and looks over to your helmet, which is sitting at the foot of his bed and smiles like a madman as he grabs it and rushes out of his room and past Pyro.
"Get a move on, py!"
"HUR HUD HUR HUDDAAA!" (Go get your man!)
This is where it ends im tired. I'll write hcs of scout taking care of you another day. Rn I need to sleep, gn gang 🫡👍
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casdeans-pie · 9 months
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Part 4 of Flustered Castiel Accidentally Explodes Lightbulbs And Causes Power Outages Especially When Dean's Fingers Are In His Hair
Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3.
Happy birthday to me! This is my birthday gift to myself so it's deliciously self indulgent for the final part. I honestly could have just kept going with this forever, I adore flustered!Cas and his angel powers lmao
This part got so big I couldn't put the whole chapter in the tumblr post sorry!
Taglist: @dreampencil , @mymisfitsbabe , @fivefeetfangirl , @kerryweaverlesbian , @give-bucky-his-boyfriend-back , @mooshroomister , @castielsbloodynose , @the-great-pumpkin-67 , @casavanse , @homoangel - thanks all for your interest, hope you like the conclusion!!
-----Read on AO3-----
---------
If stubbornness was a sin, Dean knew he would be going straight to hell when he died. Again.
There were a million reasons that Dean could think of for why Cas had distanced himself (that buzzed around his brain like insistent bees whenever he lay down to sleep at night) but if they didn’t talk about them then none of them were real. The ache in his chest at Cas’s absence, familiar from when he used to leave them for stretches at a time, felt like it dug in deeper and deeper with every passing day – but he still just couldn’t bring himself to talk to him about it.
The biggest surprise became the slow realisation that the saying ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ wasn’t just some made up cliché bullshit that people said to each other, because seeing Cas, even briefly before he scurried away, made Dean’s heart sing like a lovesick teenage girl.
Sam only suffered through so much before he started using his Sad-Sam-Eyes whenever he saw them both, hoping they would finally sort out whatever was going on between them, but he didn’t mention it otherwise. Somehow that made it even worse. If Sam told them to talk to each other, at least that could have been a good excuse. But no.
Dean had to do something on his own.
He had to.
He’d started all of this by being a jerk about Cas’s powers, so it was time to dip into that Dean Winchester Courage, have a real conversation about all of this, and face losing his best friend – the Angel that he loved – head on.
------
Then they finally had a hunt together. Alone.
Dean’s bloody machete hung in a loose grip by his side as he kicked the toe of his boot at the decapitated body on the ground beside him. The head lay nearby.
“Think we finally got ‘em all,” Dean said with a grin. His clothes were covered in splashes of blood, and he could feel some drying on his cheek that he was itching to scratch off with his nail. “I love a good vamp nest clear-out, but if I’d have known there were gonna be this many, I would’ve brought Sam as extra back-up.” Dean didn’t want to mention that the reason he’d told Sam to stay behind in the first place was because he’d finally stopped being chickenshit scared about sorting this thing out with Cas. “Not that we didn’t handle it.” He gestured towards the headless bodies scattered around them with his machete.
Cas didn’t reply. He’d been quiet in the ride over and had kept his distance for the whole fight.
Okay. Time’s up. Time to do this. Dean took a deep breath through his nose and closed his eyes. “Cas, listen-”
“Dean!” Cas yelled, slamming into him just as the sound of a gunshot exploded nearby.
Dean went hurtling down as another gunshot rang out. He landed heavily – the floor winded him and disorientated him enough that he couldn’t get straight back up, and he shook his head rapidly to try to clear it.
There were sounds of Cas wrestling with the vampire nearby. Dean watched dazedly as the vampire snarled and bared his fangs as he threw a punch at Cas’s nose, and his fist connected with a thud. But that gave Cas the opportunity to wrench the gun out of the vampire’s weakened grasp, and he tossed it aside, making it skitter harmlessly across the floor into a dark corner of the warehouse.
Red bloomed through the top of Cas’s trench coat on his left shoulder.
“Cas!” Dean warned, finally scrambling to his feet just as the vampire grabbed Cas and threw him down with a hiss onto the dusty, blood-spattered floor.
The vampire loomed over him with an open mouth full of needle-sharp teeth just as Cas sat up with a grunt and threw up his hand with his palm out. Dean recognised the gesture, and he immediately braced himself for the blinding light of Cas’s angelic smitey powers, but only a faint sputtering glow emerged from his hand.
After a moment, where Cas stared at his hand in confusion, the vampire hissed and lunged.
He never got any further.
Dean’s machete swung in a clean shining arc through the vampire’s neck, and he collapsed in a heap like a puppet with cut strings. The spray of blood caught Cas, smattering his face and hair with even more crimson alongside what currently trickled out of his nose and soaked his shoulder.
Dean groaned in relief and threw the machete to the concrete floor with a clang. “Definitely the last one,” he declared with a deep breath. “Damn that got close for a second there. Come on, up you get.” Dean offered out a hand to help Cas, but he pushed himself up with a groan instead, pointedly not looking at the hand as if he hadn’t noticed it.
Dean tried to shrug it off again, just like he had all the other times that Cas refused to touch him recently, but he could feel the hurt burning in his throat and behind his eyes. He clenched his fist so tightly it almost hurt as he returned it to his side.
“You okay?” Dean asked instead with a frown, thinking of the gunshots, and noticing the blood stain on Cas’s shoulder increasing in size.
“Yes. The first bullet got me, but the second bullet missed. I think it went clean through. Didn’t hit anything vital.” Cas touched his shoulder and winced, then observed Dean – his blue eyes raking him up and down from head to foot. “What about you? Are you hurt?”
Dean shook his head, the mixture of hurt and concern and happiness at the closest attention he’d got from Cas in weeks making his words come out harsher than he intended when he snapped, “Nope. My bullet-proof friend pushed me out of the way, and then revealed that he’s not so bullet-proof today.”
Cas smiled ruefully. “Ah. Yes. Looks that way.” He dusted his trench coat off as best he could and lifted an arm to wipe his sleeve across his nose – though he only succeeded in smearing the dust and blood around. He closed his eyes and rubbed again.
Dean pushed down his confusing cocktail of emotions, like he always did, and forced on a smile. “You’re just making it worse, buddy. Why’s killing vamps always such a bloody job?” He reached over without thinking, while Cas was still rubbing at his nose. “Nose doesn’t look broken at least, but your shoulder’s probably gonna need stitches while you’re low on power like this.”
Dean’s fingers had barely even grazed the fabric on Cas’s shoulder before Cas flinched back violently.
The lights in the warehouse groaned and buzzed as they flickered and dimmed, and then just as quickly returned to normal.
Cas’s eyes were wide as he took another step back.
Dean felt all his confusion sharpen into a frustrated stab of white-hot anger. He gestured violently at the ceiling. “Okay. Y’know what. That’s it. Let’s talk. What the hell is going on with you, Cas? Why have you been avoiding me? What’s the deal with the lights?”
“It’s nothing.”
“Doesn’t look like nothing.”
“Nothing you need to know about.”
“Nothing I- are you even hearing yourself right now? You’re really gonna admit to keeping secrets again after everything we’ve been through? And- hey, what’s up with your face? What are you doing?”
Cas had screwed his eyes together so tight that it pinched his whole expression. “Concentrating.”
“On what? This conversation that you’re trying not to be in?”
“On using my Grace to heal my shoulder and clean all of this off, but it’s not…” Cas gritted his teeth and opened his eyes. They glowed faintly. “It’s not working.”
Dean took a deep breath and scrubbed a hand through his hair. “Shit, Cas. You know you’re low on power right now, you really want to use up what little juice you got left before you get chance to recharge? The motel’s only twenty minutes away.” He scowled. “You can even sit in the back. Far away from me, like you want.”
Dean didn’t wait for a response, he turned, reached down for his abandoned machete, and stalked back to Baby.
By the time Cas finally got into the car – in the back – Dean had already texted Sam to tell him that the nest had been cleared out and they would be spending the night at the motel.
They’d be back at the bunker tomorrow, and then Cas could keep avoiding him like before. Or maybe he’d finally just admit that he wanted to leave… and he’d go. The thought made Dean clench the steering wheel with a grip that made his knuckles white.
He couldn’t imagine his life without Cas in it.
The ride to the motel was tense and silent except for Baby’s engine that Dean pushed harder than he should. (The twenty-minute ride only took them ten. Cas didn’t comment on it.)
As soon as they were through the door Dean toed off his shoes, flicked on all the lights, and went to wash his hands in the bathroom. He didn’t look back to see what Cas was doing. It was none of his business. If he didn’t want to talk about it, then what did he care. (He tried to tell himself, even as the ache in his chest pounded and felt cavernous.)
Dean splashed some water on his face and gripped the sides of the grubby sink. Water plinked pink from his chin into the chipped basin, as the vampire blood washed away down the plughole.
After a deep breath Dean grabbed a towel and rubbed it over his face, careful not to inhale at the same time – he’d learned a long time ago that it was best not to know what motel towels smelt like – and reached for the first aid kit he always left in the bathroom when they went on hunts.
Sufficiently calmed down, and feeling less like his heart was caught in the vice grip of a homicidal ghost, Dean turned and emerged back into the main room. He froze mid-step at what he saw: Cas had his head in his hands, perched on the edge of his bed, while the blood stains from his bullet wound were soaking through his coat down his arm. He hunched over with his elbows resting on his knees, and there seemed to be a particularly troubled tenseness to the set of his shoulders. Even more than usual. Despite their strained relationship recently, it cut Dean deeply to see him like that – so clearly suffering and so human.
Dean sat heavily onto his own bed opposite Cas. The old springs creaked loudly and protested at the sudden weight. “Alright. Coat off.”
Cas startled and snapped his head up. The lamp beside his bed flickered weakly. “What?”
Dean’s usual enthusiasm for the phenomenon of the flickering lights wasn’t his priority this time, and he pushed his curiosity aside. “Stitches,” Dean said simply, brandishing the first aid kit.
“I don’t need them,” Cas grumbled, looking away. “Once my Grace has recharged enough it will heal on its own.”
“Oh okay, so you’re just going to wait and see if your mojo recharges faster than you bleed? And you’re, what, expecting me to just sit here while we find out? Because I am not okay with that.”
“Yes.”
“Cas. Just let me put some damn stitches in your damn shoulder.”
“No.” The muscles in Cas’s jawline clenched.
Dean scowled as he ran a hand through his hair. It was sticky and matted with drying blood, but that was nothing new. “Let me put it this way. You either take off your coat and shirt willingly, or I will tackle you to that bed and remove them myself” – the lamp flickered again – “so help me God, don’t think that I won’t. Your choice.” Dean had his eyes locked on Cas’s narrowed ones. “I will not let you suffer when I can do something about it. Yeah, you might heal it up yourself in an hour or two, but I’m not going to sit here watching you bleeding and in pain, when I can help. Don’t ask me to.”
“Dean… This is just… It’s a bad idea.”
“A bad idea? To stop you from bleeding out? C’mon man, you’re always healing me up after hunts, let me repay the favor for once. Besides, you took the shot meant for me – it should be me sitting there with the bullet hole.”
Cas went suddenly pale, and his eyebrows drew together in a serious line. “If it were, I would use up whatever Grace I had left to heal you.”
Oh.
Dean blinked in surprise.
Huh. But Cas had been avoiding him so much lately... He’d assumed he didn’t care anymore. “Uh,” Dean faltered, “no, that wouldn’t be okay either. I wouldn’t want that. But maybe I should teach you some basic first aid now that your mojo gets patchy sometimes.” He shook his head. That would require them to be in the same room for more than five minutes. Stupid suggestion. “Look, if you’d want to heal me that badly if we were swapped over here, that’s what I want to do to you right now, get it?”
“I um. I think so.” The line between Cas’s eyebrows grew deeper. “It’s fine now anyway. It barely hurts,” he lied, gripping his shoulder tightly.
“Sure. Okay, Black Knight.”
Cas squinted.
“The Black Knight – ‘‘tis but a flesh wound’? Guess you didn’t get Monty Python in the pop-culture upload. We’ll add it to the list we-” But Dean remembered that they didn’t watch movies together anymore. “Doesn’t matter. Just take your damn coat off, you stubborn son of a bitch.”
That finally cracked a smile onto Cas’s pale face. His lips twitched and the corners of his eyes crinkled endearingly.
Dean felt a strong flare of affection at seeing Cas’s smile, after seeing him looking so defeated before, that it immediately softened all of Dean’s concern-masked-as-irritation and he found himself smiling back. He’d missed this. So damn much.
“I’ll patch you up,” Dean said gently, “then you get dibs on the first shower, since you’re the one covered in the most blood. Winchester tradition.”
“I don’t need-”
“Yeah, yeah, I know, you can just magic your mess away when your power’s back on, but you’re really just gonna sit here like that until then?”
Cas looked down at himself. “You have a point.”
“Always do. Looks like you’ll just have to enjoy shitty motel water pressure like the rest of us.” Dean wiggled his eyebrows. “And going first means you get the hottest water.”
“Thank you, Dean,” Cas said.
“Then we can both go to sleep so you can recharge your batteries. You can sleep when you’re like this, right? But stitches first. After that there’ll be no touching involved,” Dean added, before he could stop himself. As much as he enjoyed talking to Cas again, it only served as a depressing reminder that they weren’t like this anymore. He gave a sad, weak little laugh, and even he could hear the pain in his voice when he said, “Y’don’t even have to look at me.”
Cas immediately slid off his bed with a rustle, and he was on his knees in front of Dean in the time it took for him to open his mouth to ask what was happening. His eyes shined wetly in the dingy motel room lighting as he gazed up intensely – vulnerable and raw – into Dean’s eyes. “Dean, no. This wasn’t supposed to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you,” Cas said in a voice thick with emotion. “Doing this – distancing myself… It was supposed to make things better, but it… only made everything worse. I hate being apart from you. I hate it. This wasn’t- it’s not- it’s not your fault.” He spoke haltingly, like he was struggling. “It’s my fault. I’m sorry. I- I don’t know how to explain-”
They were closer than they had been in weeks, and yet Dean could still feel the distance. His heart sunk. “This is starting to feel a whole lot like the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech, man.”
Cas scrunched his face up, and Dean knew he was trying to think of a way to say what he meant. He wondered if Angels weren’t very big talkers in their true forms. It was reminiscent of when they first met, and how Cas used to struggle with sarcasm and slang.
Cas already told him once that he’d only started to feel real, strong emotions (Dean called them his Real Boy Feelings) since rescuing him from Hell, so it made sense that he still struggled sometimes. And anyway, Dean had been human his whole life and it wasn’t like he was much better at the whole sharing your feelings crap.
Cas finally looked up through his lashes at him – his expression wary. “Hold out your hand, Dean.”
“What?”
“Hold out your hand, please. I can show you what’s been going on.”
---- Read the rest on AO3 ----
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dappersautismcreature · 4 months
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lmao in other peoples povs bad just exploded and died forever ig
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sierice · 7 months
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3, 11, 12, 13, 19, 23, 27, 37, 44 for the ask game? SORRY SIERICE I KNOW THIS IS A LOT IM JUST REALLY CURIOUS 😭YOU DONT HAVE TO ANSWER ALL OF THEM LOL
the longer i sit here the longer this list grows.. ill just have to come back next time (threat)
HI HELLO HIIIII !!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hope this is for that pjoverse ask game thingy bc if not this is gonna be uh. a little bit awkward but whatever here we GO
3. Favorite character
meg..........lester.......... explodes and dies (they are a package deal do not SEPERATE !!)
11. Favorite scene
oughhhh uhhhhhhh there is a lot tbh. im a very impressionable person you make a scene even slightly cool and i'll be like WOAHHHH WOOOOAHHH WOW. anyways i hope top three is fine instead
the scene from tdp where apollo shields meg from chaos and then they both come back out alive bc they both remembered that they need each other. this was only in the second book rick was insane for this
sorry 2 be cringe on main but. the bit in tlt where percy gets claimed. idk that changed my brain forever i loved it. the way it was shown how much of a serious and insane and never seen b4 event so ppl were both in awe and in fear and percy could tell that his life was never going to be the same. chills literal chills
TTT COMMODUS DEATH SCENE !!!!!!!!!!!! HE DIED THE SAME WAY BOTH TIMES BY THE SAME PERSON IM JUST GRAAAAAAHHHHH
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LIKE DO YOU SEE THIS. DO YOU SEE THIS. THE FIRST IS FROM TDP THE SECOND IS FROM TTT GOD. F*CK
12. First pjo book you've read?
THO !!!!!!!!! i saw one of my classmates reading it and i was curious so i borrowed it for a bit and i was HOOKED. i WAS super confused who this 'percy' and 'leo' he was talking about so i decided to start from the beginning XD im pretty sure i was caught for reading in the middle of class that day lmao
13. Favorite minor character?
SO SO SO MANY. i collect minor characters like pokemons i adore them with all my heart. favorite is probably felix philip from tkc though. i love him and his penguins and his tendency to demolish bad guys with basketballs and also shoes
19. Favorite Olympian
APOLLO. claps and nobody joins in
23. Opinion on TSATS?
i couldn't even FINISH it i just couldnt. it was that bad like im sorry but i simply could not bring myself to like any bit of it 1/10
27. Scene that makes you cringe the most
oh the TTT reyna rejection scene for sure. and then the bit where he pees himself in TDP and TBM like girlie what 😭😭😭srsly why do subject me to this lester why do pee yourself in every single book without fail
37. 3 hcs about you favorite character
OOOOOOOOH DIFFICULT QUESTION. this one is a definite one though:
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2. meg teleportation powers !!!!!!!!! (yes i know its basically canon BUT. it was used like one (1) time and then never again i need to see MORE OF IT NOW)
3. lester meg empathy link is REAL. to me. and also kind of to canon but whatever
4. basically everything in the headcannons channel in the toa discord LMAOOO i read it and then i forever incorporate it into my psyche its like my daily ritual at this point
44. Favorite rareship
apollo x happiness. apollo x therapy. apollo x revolutionizing against zeus. lester x some f*cking good things happening to him for once in his life. why are you dragging me out of the building
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roachemoji · 10 months
Text
NEW ST LIVE BLOGGING bc i lost my old thread lmao S1 06-08 (but not really i need to rewatch the end again)
Episode 6
OKAY im starting like halfway through ep 6 again
the AUTISM in the first 30 seconds of this episode starting up again lmao EL calling him a mouth breather because its the first insult she fucking hears??? Yea YEAH
GOD JOYCE IN A TURTLE NECK <- my mom (hold oni have to jump back up here because I completetly skipped the part about Jane and her mom and the connection to El and i feel like its a little too on the nose that thats who El is given how much ive seen and read about the fuckery and connections in this show so im waiting on that - unless it is just... that. AKJHD)
I LOVE DUSTIN SO MUCH WHY DO I NEVER HEAR ANYTHING ABOUT HIM LIKE WHAT THE FUCK
hes SO smart holy shit i mean they all are but his interpersonal skills are so JUST YEAH CALL THEM OUT CALL THEM OUT also his quiet "ok" when he pushes that theyre all his best friends UGH
is this the scene is this the i think im about to watch the thing i just OH MAN HE JUST CLOCKED HIM WHO STRADDLES A MAN LIKE THAT WHEN YORUE FIGHTING HELLO
damn
anyway sorry Johnathan and Nancy Platonic Soulmates Best Friends Forever im making them bracelets !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh man i was gonna mention the van that Lucas saw but i forgot also GOD DUSTIN IS THE ONLY ONE WITH FUCKIGN SENSE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH boys boys boys boys boys
I FORGOT HE PISSED HIS FUCKING PANTS LMAO
JUST PISS YOUR PANTS???? oh he okay yeah i though the was actually asking him to just piss his fucking pants
DUSTIN JUST SACRIFICING HIMSELF WHY DO I NOT HEAR MORE ABOUT HIM ACTUALLY
SO what would happen if Mike had like died what would happen if those kids had caused his death like wouold they have just ran and left Dustin or pushed him off or what like AKJSHDSKAJHD
IM SORRY THE SONG WHEN EL SHOWS UP IS SO FUCKING FUNNY
El exxperiencing PTSD so vividly breaks my fucking heart like girlie i understand i understan di do i reall really do god im so sorry BABY GIRL ITS OKAY AOOIASUDSKAH SHE OPENED THE GATE DAMN gonna like swaddle her or something god
im sorry the squad of white vans going to kidnap children is a little too on the fucking nose for me
---
Episode 7
real talk could El not just explode them what if El just exploded them i mean obviously theres OTHER consequences like... killing people BUt i mean.
SHE IDNT EXPLODE THE VAN BUT I MEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT GUY IS PROBABLY DEAD SO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pausing to say something actually: How child abuse is depicted so far in the show is very scary to me in how real it feels. To be a kid in those situations, to not understand the power you weild because an adult as manipulated you into believing that you're helpless? That the only person you can rely on is them, even as they're actively harming you? Brenner being aware of the harm that El can cause him but believing so strongly in the hold he has on her and therefore he is above consequence, above harm? fucking yucky The scene of him giving her the potted flower made my stomach sink. Felt a little too close to home I know that themes of abuse are really prevelant in this show and Its really interesting to see how it affects people different but especially El, someone who'se pretty fucking clearly autistic and shows a lot of the same symptoms that i did post abuse? I thought i had more to say on it and maybei will as time goes on i just!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ough okay moving on --
LUCAS!!!!!!!!! APOLOGIZING and El saying she sorry too and ALL OF THEM APOLOGIZING YEAH THIS IS BOYS BEING BOYS BABEY THIS IS!!!! BOYS! BEING! BOYS!!!!!!!
WHITE WOMAN JUMPSCARE AGAIN
i cant wait to get to the part where i understand who you (POINTS AT EM) believe she is and fully feel whatever i should feel about her and what shes done or about to do or going to do in multiple timelines or what have YOU
Mikes dad makes me want to ram my head into a wall
and BRENNER is just fucking STABS HIM STABS HIM STABS HIM
Joyce is just :3c she just!! she <3
she can.... make you fly....... and...... piss yourself
the two super powers
OUHAKJSDH i forgot they think Johnathan killed Will jesus christ i hate these two so much and OUGAKSDH GOD THANK YOU FOR AKHSDAKJH FINALLY!! THANK U IK STEVE SHAPES UP AND CHANGES HIS SHIT AND GROWS THANK GOD BUT JESUS ITS ABOUT TIME HOLY FUCK
SPIT IN HIS EYES SPIT IN HIS EYES !!!! WISH U HAD GOD NOT THEIR DND SHIT HELLOW???
the Byers,,,,,,,,,, seemed so distant before like they didnt know each other or cared but god theyre so close theyre so so close and i feel that i get that
MIKES DAD AGAIN I WANT TO HES SO FUCKING STUPID if i were locked in a room with him id put on cocomelon
HOPPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3
THE BOYS ARE ALL SO SMART I LOVE THEM OS MUCH
El is just trying so fucking hard god the liek desperation and fear or failure and guilt that she just keeps carrying itS JUST!!!!
MR CLARKS LIL DATE NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!! do you ever use your teacher's autism against him and force him to info dump in the same of science.
watching them setting up the pool and knowing they probably just told them to figure it out while they filmed it <3 ALSO MIKE REALIZING HIS SISTER IS ACTUALLY COOL idk need more siblings being siblings
JOYCE IS MY MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
someone giving El the option to say no? to back out? to FEEL SAFE??? im going to lose my mind im gonan scREAM and cry and throw up!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am BANGING MY FISTS On the TABLE
genuinely WAHT did barb do to deserve this WHAT DID SHE DO SHE WAS SUCH A GOOD FRIEND OH MY GOD
joyce joyc ejoCYCE JOYCE JOYCE fuck all yall shes my favorite character im in love with her
Do episodes that end in the upside down also not end with music @ em i cant remember this happening before bc i didnt write it down <3
---
Episode 8
LAST EPISIDE OF THE SEASON i went to get popcorn for this to pay full attention or as much as i could im goingin an dout of dissociating so bare with me i feel like im gonna have to rewatch the entire first season again bc i missed a lot but we'll get there in due time anyway onward and upward boys
OHH THE FIRST SCENE I SAW A PARALLEL TO EPISODE ONE!!! WITH JOYCE ON THE PHONE AND NOW YELLING AT BRENNER
god i love WHEN PEOPLE STAND UP TO BRENNER AND DONT BELIEVEHIS BULLSHIT
Hopper <333333
Johnathan and Nancy are my favorite best friends theyre jUST like GUNG FUCKING HO i love it
IM OAIUSDKAJHD NANCY AND HOPPER GOING FUCKING IN WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS NOT GONNA HAPPEN yall keep underesitimating these people because you got your fancy suits and you think ou have control of the situation and then you get your ass handed to you SO IM waiting for his ass to be handed to him
do NOTTTTT DO NOT DO THIS TO ME WITH HOPPER DONT THROW ME INTO A FUCKING FLASH BACK!!!!!!! NOT LIKE THIS NOT HERE GONNA BITE
if i have to watch people cut their palms to get blood one more time im gonna STOP STOP IT STOP IT STOP oh my GOD LIKE... BAK O FYOU HAND? YOUR ARM? GIRL.
STEEVEEEEEEEEE are the lights gonna start blinking girl please pleas eplease srteve please can he help kill please bro Im HIS big brown eyes hello hwa the fuck
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SO Tumblr deleted... everything after this and im kinda upset man i got like 20 minutes left in the episode not even and it just wiped out 90% of me going balls to the fuck wall about El exploding people's brains and how much i love Joyce Byers and how they gotta stopputting me through so much emotional turmoil when it comes to Hopper and his flash backs
I think im gonna rewatch the last episode to give a better genuine reaction bc i kinda spaced out at the end and dont super know whats going on now askdhj
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soratsuart · 1 year
Text
QSMP DAY 27 LORE UPDATE
The day started decently calm, with people just doing their things and completing the egg quests. However we should note that the Census Bureau, aka Cucurucho/Osito Bimbo appeared before pretty much everyone to handle the invitations for the funeral. This is how some people, particularly the eggs, found out who had died exactly, and prompted some sad grieving scenes like Chayanne's upon learning he couldn't protect Tilín.
The funeral itself began later at a church built by the QSMP Federation. There were a bunch of cameras hidden around the building which turned out to be Slime's so he could watch since he can't be there physically due to his exile. However, people misinterpreted these cameras and thought they belonged to the Federation, so the Theorist Trio (Maxo, Bad and Foolish) started sharing their theories about the true nature of the island and the intentions of the Federation with everyone else, as well as suspecting the strange truce between them and the angel when supposedly they didn't get along.
Meanwhile we have to very depressed members in the audience. Mariana shows up being a mess and acting suicidal, with people having to stop him from killing himself, which hurts Slime who begs at him to stop through the cameras (pain). On his part, Quackity arrives talking about wanting to move on, but he quickly gets mad at people laughing and tells them to remember the eggs are temporal (least resentful man in the server).
The childless fathers give each a speech about their children (and have a few breakdowns) and with that the funeral seems to be over, but things don't end here. They go out, explode one of Slime's cameras thinking it was from the Federation and talk for a bit, with Roier telling Quackity about some books that might help him revive Tilín (wonder where he might have heard that from).
Then Cucurucho appears again, and they take Quackity aside to this weird room with Rubius and tell him to wait. Soon enough, a wall opens to reveal Tilín. Quackity is overjoyed to see his child, but unfortunately they can only have a five minute conversation. Quackity begs Rubius to revive them, but that's not possible, so father and egg have a conversation where Quackity finally expresses how much he loves Tilín and how much he misses them.
After saying a final goodbye, Quackity leaves and goes to Tilín's grave to leave a note expressing his love for them, then closes the grave for good. He then meets Angel!Rubius and asks him questions about the island and when they can leave, to which Rubius says they can never leave and that they might discover what the island is soon. He also said he could talk with other gods to try and allow Quackity to have more conversations with Tilín.
Meanwhile, back at the church, Maxo is allowed to see his son Trump one final time. However, he initially doesn't believe he's the real Trump and starts making questions that slowly derive to the methods of the Federation to bring him back. When he starts making too many questions he gets pulled aside. Maxo is now considering making an alliance with Devil!Rubius since he doesn't trust the Federation to bring Trump back.
MEANWHILE, Slime comes out of hiding and him and Mariana are allowed to see Flippa, making one last backflip together as a family and saying goodbye. Slime and Mariana decide to work together as a family to find a way to bring their daughter back. Also, Mariana made a statue of JuanaFlippa which he showed to Slime.
Meanwhile again, people outside the church are having conversations, with Bad and Spreen fighting until they decide to have a PVP duel by Quackity's suggestion. If Spreen won, he would be allowed to kill Dapper once, while if Bad did, Spreen would have to leave them alone forever. Spreen won, but he has yet to do something to Dapper (even the Update accounts in Twitter are confused at this lmao).
Quackity and Slime also had a PVP duel, and though Slime won the first round, he let Quackity hurt him and kill him the second round so he could cope with his grief.
And after that not much happened. Everyone went their separate ways and ended the day... Calmer day than I expected tbh
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teddybeartoji · 3 months
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MICKEY i am jumping out of the blanket fort excitedly <333 this is so long overdue bc ive been too excited to sit down and think abt the Vamps properly BUT it’s finally time.. this is just going of ur most recent rb abt them btw which was . a While ago IVE BEEN THINKING OF IT CONSTANTLY THOUGH BUT ;;;;; STSG…. THE STSG DYNAMIC….
mickey i’m convinced that u are secretly plotting my downfall there’s no other explanation. VAMP!SUGU FLIRTING W JOURNALIST!GOJO ……..…. i DIED i exploded they make me feel so ill. I’VE PROBABLY DEFINITELY SAID THIS BUT EVERY TIME U GIVE ME ANOTHER PIECE OF VAMP LORE I FALL FURTHER INTO THE PIT just . sugu feeling more comfortable in the dynamic & getting more confident… JOURNALIST!GOJO BEING FLUSTEREDPEKSJ HELP MEEEEEE vamp!reader would find that so funny wouldn’t they. so sweet. now i’m just imagining the vamps teaming up to fluster gojo 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 me next
(he doesn't want u to be jealous he's more asking for reassurance - is it okay if the two of them mess around together too? and of course it is bc you want your boys to be happy)
dont even get me started on this ^^^^ im sending u my hospital bill watch out . MICKEY :(( im so obsessed w vamp!reader it isn’t even funny i need them so bad it’s sickening. they KNOW they call the shots and sugu knows it too and the way they’re kind of just. indulging their beloveds…… they’re sooo <33333 yeah.
i just wanted to let u know i am in fact thinking abt these three constantly i am kissing ur brain always. pls give mr armin a lil kiss from me too !! <33
HI ARI BABY!!!
it's so good to see you here (i might keep you forever)(/hj).
what do you think of playground love by air (btw doesn't the cover for this song look like sugu lmao i just noticed that) for this stsg? it might not be something you immediately thought of, right? but i feel like it suits the sugu teaching satoru how to paint?? do you see the vision?? or did you imagine something else?? i need to know. i think this moment would be such an important one in their relationship such a pivotal moment
i can totally see suguru talking about the colors and anatomy and how to hold the brush and then little journalist!gojo is just staring at him with stars in his eyes trying to concentrate because he really does want to learn but fuck it's so hard with this angel before him...
and i think the song name is also funny in a sense that satoru is like a teenager bc how easily he pops his boners lmao okay he just gets so fucking excited in his head it's literally not even sexual????? like sugu is just sooooo handsome under the moonlight it's making his head spin and oh! oops!
another thing i thought about is the fact that they definitely have a cat!!! idk if i said this already somewhere but they do!!! not a black one bc that's a little basic but maybe like a siamese one? meow very cute. anyway i think satoru desperately want to have the cat's attention but it loves sugu the most lmao and he's soooooo smug about that too!!! satoru is all pspspspsps bribing the kitty with the treats but it literally ignores him?????? and just gets comfy on sugu's lap without a second thought. imagine the pouty little satoru here:((( btw the reader is also jealous of sugu in this case but they refuse to show it. bc c'mon they're the leader of the house they can't be upset over their own cat liking their beloved more. no way. never. that's so childish. :(.
oh and and and!! the vamp!reader really does like satoru and they know that he's the perfect guy to help bring suguru out of his shell even more yk they know that a little curious puppy like him is only gonna do good in their household (after they reassure sugu ofc)
wait actually i can't remember whether i said that satoru just kind of moved in too right??? like he rarely goes to his city apartment and he just has his own room (as if he fucking sleeps there smh) and he absolutely loves lliving in the mansion he doesn't even hide it. i do need to say that he also adores having maids and a butler but he's still incredibly respectful towards them yk like he isn't pointlessly bossing them around
he also loves to blast stupid fucking music over the whole house.... canon i'm afraid. idk why but justin timberlake just popped into my head lmao like his music in the 10's wheww bangers though i won't lie
OHHH WAITT I JUST THOUGHT ABOUT SHOKO AND SATORU bc like they don't know each other yet!!!!! so imagine shoko comes over for their usual wine night and then finds this blue eyed guy lazing on the couch without a shirt on????? like who are you???? but then she recognizes him hehehe i think journalist!gojo is a rather known one he's good at his job so she just rolls her eyes but after an hour or two i think they actually get along surprisingly well!! (okay i mean it's not a surprise for us but for the reader and sugu) they kind of share the same stupid af humor and it all just gets super fucking funny when they're all playing board games together lmao (shoko always wins btw)(always.)
also heheheh armin came to sit with me just as i started writing this!!! he has received his kiss!! he meowed back!! he loves you!! i know bc i know his language so just trust me!!
ANYWAYY THIS IS THEMM!! i love talking about them it comes so easily the words really write themselves really (i can't wait to actually you know.. write something real for them lmao)(SOON I PROMISE SOON)
thank you for coming by i hope you never leave!!! mwah mwah mwah!! love you lots and lots and lots!!
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felikatze · 24 days
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ROLL CREDITS, 2!! oh hey the music bangs. did the knife ending have credits? i dont think it did.
anyway, throwing out my assumption that clover killed junpei in knife ending (also p sure clover kills people in axe ending, cuz i saw the cg from it once...?) so.
there's a tenth person on this ship hey whadda hell. WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU. GET OVER HERE. LET ME LOOK AT YOUR FACE. BITCH.
whoever stabbed everyone here also did knife ending i'm p sure. so once the gang go thru the last set of doors whoever this is just goes "yup, time to kill."
either that ORRRR one of the two people who died previously (either snake or the ninth man) managed to fake their deaths by using like... a different corpse? would have to be snake since everyone could hear the ninth man explode, and they could only identify snake's body by the clothes...?
i mainly throw this into the ring as a theory cuz that's what ashe did in a route of witch's heart, lmao. forever iconic. "hey ashe is dead and sirius disappeared" ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT. that route was sooo fun.
anyway. time for playthru 3.
i did in fact look at an ending guide, just to have an idea of what gets me where. i made some tiny charts for myself of what i wanna do in what order, because my typical modus operandi for multi choice VNs is exhaust one path before going to the next, so i'd have done 5-7-6, then 5-7-3, then 5-7-2, then 5-8-6, so on and so forth, and once i'd hit repeat endings i would probably be furious. yah.
This run was 5-3-2, for the curious.
First:
5-7-6
Second:
5-3-2
Good on the chart i have for showing me p much only the last door choice matters outside two endings, and that door 3 locks u into door 2 automatically. door 3 is such an iconic choice for junpei tho, go king be manipulative. he is kinda a shit, especially since he rigs the vote for the last doors in the 8/7 path. fuckhead. fantastic.
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cntarella · 9 months
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Tagged by @domokunrainbowkinz haven't actually done one of these in a while.
Rules: in a text post, list ten books that have stayed with you in some way. Don’t take but a few minutes, and don’t think too hard — they don’t have to be the “right” or “great” works, just the ones that have touched you.
Phantom of the Opera by Gaston Leroux — Read this when I was 7 and it became my entire personality for 20+ years, I don't know who I'd be without this book because it so profoundly shaped my aesthetic and literary taste.
Paradise Lost by John Milton — I'm just saying that if I were one of those pretty penitent Catholic school girls who first got to see the installation of la genie du mal, I too would've wanted to fuck the devil. Paradise Lost has the same effect on me.
Trouble the Saints by Alaya Dawn Johnson — To me, such, such an underrated author and book. I know it won the World Fantasy Award but I think people should be talking about this book more!!!! putting aside the incredible setting (1940s new york mafia assassin with superpowers handed down from the trauma of their ancestors), ADJ is a superb writer who manages to gut you and gut you and gut you scene after scene. The ending of this book has one of the most scream-worthy letters I've seen since Amberlough and Persuasion (WHEN WE RETURN TO THE WHEEL OF LIFE YOU AND I, WE WILL FIND EACH OTHER AGAIN SEVEN LIFETIMES AND SEVEN LIFETIMES MORE. im literally taking a knife and eviserating myself rn thinking about it)
His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman — cheating, cause this is a series but i'll allow it cause it is a series of all time. Also one of the few authors I've found to ever create a non-annoying animal companion to go with you on a quest. Lyra and Pantalaimon, you will forever be famous.
Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov — love of my life fire of my loins my sweet beloved who is constantly misrepresented on here, the illiteracy website. I wish I could take back everyone's reading experience of this until we've had a discussion about authorial intent. Aside from that, Nabokov is one of my favorite writers of all time; his word choice is inspired and decadent, and one of the more digestible Russians to grace my bookshelf lmao (sorry doestoevsky and tolstoy, i love you but sometimes...)
Pictures of the Floating World by Amy Lowell — A hiss of gold/ Blooming out of darkness,/ Rockets exploded,/ And died in a soft dripping of colored stars. J U S T how do words how do poetry. i love you amy lowell lesbian icon i want to eat all of your poems up in one bite
The Hidden Life of Trees by Peter Wollheben — one of the few nonfictions I recommend to everyone. I think we could all benefit a little more from learning about trees, and especially trees not just as part of the ecosystem but as individuals who form a community. This book really opened my eyes to how connected every single living thing is in this world, and how everything speaks to each other :))) trees i love you trees i'd die for you
The Doloriad by Missouri Williams — Now here is a fucked up book. I wish all the incest girlies of tumblr would read this and talk to me about it. I haven't been able to stop thinking abt this book since I read it, and Missouri Williams' writing is honestly top-tier, super slippery and well crafted
Prince's Gambit by CS Pacat — enjoyed this whole series but this middle book is simply top tier, which is honestly amazing cause second books generally tend to be the worst. I want to dissect Pacat's brain to figure out how they manage to make the pay off that delicious. Laurent my original little meow meow you've done nothing wrong in your life
Deathless by Catherynne M. Valente — i know the tumblrinas have gotten this one out of their system in like, 2015-2017, but i think we should talk about this more!!!!! who is doing it like Valente.
Idk who to tag, but feel free to do this if you would so like and tag me in it. I love hearing about ppl's formative books.
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riotzerosys · 1 year
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WE’RE ABOUT TO INFODUMP! LOOK OUT BELOW BITCHES, HERE COMES [Subject_S4NS!Tale]! OUR NEW AU!
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Papyrus has a lip piercing. Basically Papyrus and S4NS’s hallucination are the only people he trusts without question. Sans has like VERY POWERFUL ABILITIES, EVEN THO NO ONE ELSE (besides Papy) CAN USE MAGIC. Sans’s magic includes teleportation, telekinesis, summoning bones, summoning blasters, blue magic, and [REDACTED] (which is literally just exploding everyone within a 10-100 meter radius.)
Papyrus only has fuzzy memories of what happened to Gaster but only through nightmares does he relive it like it’s happening in real time. Papyrus also has a huge fucking crush on Grillby, bc he goes there every Friday with Undyne, Alphys, Chara and Asriel to drink have junk and just forget about his situation. Papyrus’s magic includes floating, telekinesis, and summoning bones.
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Undyne and Alphys are Papyrus’s best friends, obvi.
Undyne made the first move on Alphys. She was Papryus’s friend since they were little kids, and Undyne treats him like he’s her little brother! Undyne fucking loves candy. Like absolutely loves it. Undyne is always dressed in casual punk fashion, and cannot wait to get punk platform boots. Undyne is a fucking extrovert.
Alphys is always a little flustered if Undyne does something anything romantic lmao. Alphys is a huge science nerd, as is S4NS once he and her hang out a bit. She likes skirts, soft cardigans, and tiny boots.
One time on Valentine’s day Undyne forced Alphys to dress in lovebug-esque outfits with her and that will forever be the most flustered Alphys has ever been.
Also Alphys wears contacts.
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Asriel and Chara are pretty much the same except they’re both girlboss, VERY tall, and are much older than everyone else in the au. They treat everyone like they’re their younger siblings. Chara tends to be more laid back and “cool dude” and Asriel tends to be more soft and kind and very comfortable with everyone. Some people like Undyne are a little annoyed with Chara but they still get along pretty well with everyone.
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Not much is known. Though Papyrus theorizes his dad’s death has something to do with why they aren’t remembered much…
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Grillby is Grillby. He’s kind, warm and gentle. Literally a fucking malewife, the perfect husband, the sweetest man ever, literally the perfect man.
Gaster died of a gunshot wound to the head. Because he died, the facility took the option to erase all evidence that he or the founders existed.
Napstablook and Mettaton are the best cousins ever. They’re very close, and very kind people. Mettaton is always STATED to be Papyrus’s crush because he’s not ready to tell everyone yet. Mettaton’s fine with this. Napstablook is like, the shyest most tired yet sweetest boi you will ever meet. Ever. Blooky’s eyes are light grey.
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Frisk isn’t really real. Frisk is a hallucination that S4NS sees all the time. Everyone but Papyrus and Grillby thinks they’re just an imaginary friend. Grillby has always been able to see odd things, and ghosts and spirits. Papyrus can see them as a result of his and S4NS’s souls being connected due to S4NS being made directly from a sample taken from him. Grillby theorizes they might be a ghost (which is actually true in canon), but the only reason S4NS can see it is because he tends to hallucinate sometimes. Frisk is rather kind to S4NS because they used to be the founders’ child. They see S4NS as a reflection of themselves. Eventually they warm up to Papyrus and Grillby too.
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ANYWAYS! FOR LORE!
The timeline starts when Papryus and Grillby enter a research lab (now a facility), formerly owned by the recently deceased founders, Toriel and Asgore. Gaster starts an argument with the new facility staff, and they lead to an altercation which ends up with Gaster being shot in the head. Papyrus would reach out to try and save him only to get jabbed in the neck with a needle as everything goes dark.
Cut to the present and Papyrus wakes up from a nightmare in his office. He quickly turns on the security cameras to check on S4NS, does some reports, goes to talk to S4NS for a few minutes, comes back to his office and recalibrates the cameras, and then packs up for the day and heads home. This routine is the same, with an added jabbing in the back of his neck that won���t go away. Papyrus gets the help of Undyne and Alphys to rid him of this pain only for them to realize that a listening chip was planted on him all this time, which is why Papyrus always was so harshly treated.
Angry, Papyrus burns the chip in his backyard, and vows to devoting himself to escaping that place with S4NS. Papyrus recounts to himself how the workers took a sample from Papyrus without his permission and used it to create S4NS. S4NS needed headphones all the time with music (breakcore music) blasting in them 24/7 to get him used to noise, which he’s sensitive to.
Eventually, Papyrus steals a gun from the main office, tells Sans about his plans after deactivating all the cameras, then grabs him and runs. They’re chased, Papyrus shoots a couple people down, and slides under a security door into a dark metal lined hall, with metal flooring and pitch black ceilings. A spider woman (Muffet but slightly more eldrich-horror-esque and ethereal) who was blocked the path, graciously lets them through with the kindness in her heart and vanishes. Papyrus ran till suddenly he popped out of what he now realized to be a ventilation system, and they fell into a boat; Papyrus now discovering he also has magic like S4NS when he slows them down before they fall in. He rows them to shore and S4NS teleports them to Papyrus’s place.
Current timeline, Papyrus is now getting S4NS more used to regular life and his friends, Papyrus is being more honest about certain things like his crush on Grillby, and overall everything is pretty okay! He’s honing his powers and controlling them, also helping S4NS control his, and is actually rather protective of his little bro.
Oh and one last thing. Papyrus figures out (at some point later), that Gaster and the founders were erased and killed because the people running that facility had evil intentions; and like maniacs, want to rule the world or some bs like that. Like bitch tf?
THAT’S IT, ENJOY FUCKERZ! >:3
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giggles and explodes. okay. that anon talking about the fic they wanna write made me dig up some old google docs where i was throwing some ideas around and honestly i’m tempted to write so..
lowkey one of them was loosely inspired by your bj deetz au (which i am forever grateful for i still need to finish reading that) and a few other ones i’ve read that i can’t fully remember — where he’s taken in by charles and emily. emily dies. he’s also pronounced dead — but then he wakes up, screaming, only answering to a different name — beetlejuice. years pass and he gets snatched in the night by juno because he’s old enough to become her heir now and a lot of shit happens, they have to go into the netherworld despite knowing nothing about it this time round, etc. also the maitlands are british exchange students here i dont know if that’s anything useful but. i can do that! wow i love writing. joy of AUs means i can just DO that. it’s relevant to the plot i promise its like loosely framed around college. also miss argentina is in the netherworld i love her so much
another one was like. eventually he decides that he’s going to go back to the netherworld to search for his dad after living with the maitland-deetzes for a while but ultimately gets hella lost and or stuck there. again everyone has to haul his ass out from in there with the help from miss argentina (did i tell you i love her so much). it is a huge wip at the moment i might rework some of the plot a little bit but its just feels all around honestly i want to kick him in the gut and then help him stand back up again and this fic is me doing that
honestly the best fics are ones where you toss his ass around like a ragdoll for a few chapters before kissing it better lmao which is basically the bj deetz au i really had him in my maw and was shaking the shit out of him. i was working thru some stuff
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delta-rex · 4 months
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HWLP HELP HELP HELP HELP IM WATCHING THE GIGGLE AND. WHAT. WHAT WHAT WHAT
HI HELLO HI WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK IM LOSING IT.
MISTKY AT THE POWERFUL PSYCHIC IMAGE O JUST GOT BEAMED DIRECTLY INTO MY BRAIN OF THE TARDIS AS AN ANGRY CAT WHEN SHE GOT PICKED UP BY THE HELICOPTER. LOOK I CANT EXPLAIN RN BUT TRUST ME WHEN I SAY ITS A POWEFULLY FUNNY IMAGE
Okay okay I'm normal now live react below HRNRNGNGNGNSNANS
MAN THEY REALLY DID JUST REUSE AVENGERS TOWER FOR THIS HUH. DOWN TO THE FUCKIN LANDING PAD
"no change there then"
Hello the vlinks!
Shout out to Donna WOOOO
UH OH LMAO
YEAHHHHHH THEY SAID RHE TITLE WOOOO
ooooooh spooky arpeggio
WHAT ABOUT YOUR SCREENS IN THE TARDIS. WHAT ABOUT THOSE. DO THEY HAVE DTOOKY BILL TOO
apparently not :/ but FINE WHATEVER
man OKAY CASUAL 1925 TIME IG
AVOIDANCE TM. LMAO. GET CALLED OUT ON IT BITCH.
nooooooooooooooooooo little german boy don't go into the spooky toy shop
Woooooooo distortion corridors ooooooooo
AGH. OUGH. AGH. AOUGH. DT DONT GO EXPLODING MY HEART AGAIN
Marionette guy! Normal things
oh yeah tiny doll lady she seems normal and fine. DEFINTIELY not a trap or anything. Spooky
Man origami building was not what I was expecting there tbh
SPICE GIRLS JUMPSCARE. LMFAOOOOO WHAT A SCENE
NOOOOO NOT THE DEATH LAZE- OH MY GOD OH MU GOD OH MU GOD IM GOIGNT TO COMBUST. THEY ARENT GOING TO LET HIM BE ALONE HRRNTNGNNGNGMGNG
HI NCUTI. HIIIIIII
"WORLDS HIGHESR STAKES GAME OF CATCH"
OH THE HUG. THE FOREHEAD KISS. IM NOT OKAY HRHRHEIAIAUSUFHRHFHHFHSJSHhahahahhaHAGAGGAGAGSHHDHD
AUGH..OUGH. AUGH..AUFH.HRNF. AUGH OH MY GOD IM GOING SOB
YRAH I DID. GOD FUCKING DAMNIT HES GOING HOME
HRNRNGNGJGHHRHTHTH. AUGH. AOUGH. AIGUH.
YAY RAMP! HAMMER WHACK WHAT?????? YEAH WE DONT QUESTION THE DUPLICATION ITS FINE
YAAAAAY NCUTIIIIIIIIIII WOOOOOOOO
AOUGH OUGJ AUGH OEIRITAH ORISUAHFHHFHG AHEHRGRGGAHRGRGAG OURURUAHAHAGRGGRHRGRHSHAHGRGRHAHAHH ME WHEN I DIE. IM CRYING NOW GOODBYE
'Ive never been so happy in my life' DT WHAT IF YOU EJECTED MY STILL BLEEDING HEART INTO SPACE ON CRUISE MISSILE KNSTEAD. WHAT THEN. IT WOULD HURT ME LESS..GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGAGAGAGGAGHHAHHHAGAGAGAGRHRGRGHRHRG
EXPLODES FOREVER AND DIES I CANR HANDLE THIS. OUTURURUAIAUGAHGRGRHHHRHRGAHRHRHHAHRHEUUFIOAOUFUHFHRHGRGAOOGRJSKJEOEIRHEHAJJAORIRJRJUFHDIAOAUAAAAAAAAAAAAAQQAAAAAAAAA [EXTREMELY LOUD SOBBING]
ILL BE BACK TO SCREAM ABOUT THIS TOMORROW JRJRNJJTNRNRBHHRGRGHRHRHR.
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industria-adastra · 8 months
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[Vampire Knight] If I'm to be reborn, I'll find you (again, again, again) - CHAPTER ONE: my clematis (hope died in the abyss) - [2/4]
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Summary: And in his hands, his flower wilts, and fades away.
There is not even a body left.
Note: Does anyone actually write VK fic in 2023. Is the VK fandom alive lmao
Would Kaname be like this if Yuuki died? Perhaps. He's a character deeply shaped by loss and hinges a lot of his desire to live or die on Yuuki. He also probably considered her 95% minimum as his own emotional support system. Kaname is very messed up lmao. Honestly, I feel like this was a better potential ending for Yuuki dying before his original plans were complete. (Sorry Kaname I'm sad about killing off my personal best girl too) At least I didn't make him go apeshit. (That would be more in line with my WIP Shizuka Hiou character study fic).
Like last time, I recommend playing Miyashita Yuu's cover of "Condolences, and Then Life Goes On". Ah, and the ao3 link.
Pairings featured: Yuuki/Kaname, Yuuki/Zero (mentioned)
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Yuuki (beautiful, wondrous, dying) is like ice in his arms, as if crystallising within the seconds before she shatters in his arms. The words she’d said (I love you), echo in his mind alongside the ringing in his ears. 
Kaname stares down at his palms and finds them empty. Empty, empty, empty. 
Yuuki is dead.
(And there was not even a body left)
There is a building scream in his head, and he’s all too sure his expression is more akin to a monster than a man. The ground quakes beneath his feet, rumbling a warning to nearby unfortunate fellows. And then, for a scant few seconds, it stops.
Kaname could practically taste the relief from the ants close by, thanking their lucky stars for the Kuran heir’s iron-clad control. But all iron rusts, and Kuran Kaname has been dealt a terrible, irrevocably horrible blow. It is only the calm before the storm. He crushes the maelstrom of fury building in his chest into a ball but doesn’t swallow it whole.
Silence… And then, unceremoniously, suddenly—cracks appear in the earth, a storm builds, and the trees groan. Kaname allows the hatred and rage to explode forth whilst still, he stares, blankly, at the space where Yuuki’s small body had once been. Stares, no longer feeling the lingering residue of her warmth. His legs feel numb.
(He is sure that the filthy rats who surrounded them the moment blood hit the water will not come out alive today. Kaname will most surely make it so it will become a reality.)
Suddenly, there is no more light at the end of the road. Suddenly, Kaname is nothing but a blinded man stumbling in the cold unforgiving darkness, grasping for a warm light that will never come. The sun is gone, and already he can feel the frost settling in. Feels it deep in his bones, feels it in his heart as if it might turn to ice at any moment.
With Yuuki gone, what was there to live for? His power builds, destroying everything around him with a frightening ease as he ponders this question. All his plans, all his work—ultimately, it had all begun for Yuuki’s sake. To create a world where she would be forever safe, forever happy (within the sunlight she had so adored, that he had taken away in a moment of selfishness). He had loved her to the point where he would’ve died for her (and he had planned to). 
Yet now… She was no more. She was gone, gone, gone. And now he feels directionless, a boat lost at sea without a lighthouse to guide his way home.
(And with her had gone the warmth within his heart)
A storm rages violently around him.
Kaname stares at his empty hands, and makes a decision.
Everything comes to a standstill.
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Kuran Kaname has always been a creature of patience, of control. But at this point in time, even he struggles to bite down and continue living—if only for a now nebulous goal that he brings to the altar of worship to someone beyond the land of the living.
He’ll create the world he had so desired for her. He’ll do so in her name, for the sake of preserving that world of light she had loved. Now, there was no need to temper his cruelty with gentility. Not when there was no one else to be gentle for. No one to shed the skin of a monster for.
(And perhaps if he does so, he’ll have an afterlife in her arms)
As always, the blood is bitter, nearly flavourless on his tongue, already flaking away into dust alongside the other bodies. As always, he has brought about a swift, violent end to his obstacles. The days continue to pass, and the skeletons continue to pile. He builds a kingdom of peace, brick by brick with offerings of flesh, bone and blood.
As always, he is alone, alone, alone.
(Goals were good. Goals stopped him from thinking too deeply, from remembering. From losing his way and sinking into the comforting dirt.
Soon, he’ll be done.
Soon, he’ll see her again.
Even if it’s only the never-ending dream of the dead.)
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They say the king of monsters resides in a house of the dead, a house of memories.
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As strong as he is, even Kaname can fall prey to sudden weaknesses. 
Sometimes, when the desire swells to an unbearable degree, he crawls into the sheets of her bed—content to bask in her fading presence. For a moment or three, he can delude himself, can pretend that all is right in the world, as right as it always is in his dreams. Yet he dares not stay for too long, too afraid that one day her scent will only be covered by his own. That one day he will have nothing to remember her by but the gaping hole in his heart and soul. If he could, he would tie down those precious memories of her with chains; lock them down and throw away the key.
He hoards her items like a greedy dragon does with treasure, unwilling to part with a single one of them. Kaname has always been only so kind to a certain extent, and has only been the most kind to his most precious person. Years upon years passing by will slowly destroy gentility within anyone.
Again, he inhales the smell of her, feeling the exhaustion heavy in his bones. 
His throat always seizes when it does so; it is always dry and he is forevermore wanting, forevermore hungry for the blood of someone no longer in this world.
(He wonders if this was how Rido felt after Juri's death. Never satisfied, always craving. Wanting, wanting, wanting.)
The bed is always cold when he lies on it.
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They say the king lives in a house that’s withering away with time, still never changing in accordance with a rapidly developing world.
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Every decade or so, he journeys out around the world. Seeing the sights, taking photos, and buying souvenirs for someone who never got the chance to see the full beauty of the world. One by one, these hollow memories fill his own bedroom, a reminder of what could have been.
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In the world of beasts, society is ruled by power and fear.
On a throne above the rest, he is an ever-vigilant, watching eye—daring anyone to step a toe out of line. No one ever does but the most foolish, most beastly of them all. Even then, the punishment is enough for obedience to take root.
Kaname has always been good at being alone.
(He knows that they still follow him, but it is a loyalty and trust stained by fear, chipped away by the ever-growing walls around his heart. Grief makes monsters of men.)
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The world of men is not quite so different from that of beasts.
It is in the boundary between the two worlds that he meets Kiryuu Zero again.
As creatures of the night, physically, they look the same as that fateful year in the academy—young, everlasting. But like recognises like, and Kaname spies similarity in the pallor of their skin, the cold steel of his half-mad eyes, and the apathy deep within every action. His clothes, if it were even possible, look messier than Kaname remembers.
Looking at him now is like looking at a mirror. He gazes into dull lavender eyes and cannot muster up to feel anything at all. What point is there, after all?
(They have both loved and lost)
“How have you been, Kiryuu-kun?” At this point, there is no use for false airs and pleasantries, but Kaname does so anyway, going through the motions of a long-remembered script. Kiryuu is the leader of the Hunter’s Association now, and it does no good to try and shatter the newfound peace between all on a petty whim.
The coldness of his gaze does not change, and neither does his stoic face. “Fine,” is all Kiryuu offers in response. A beat of silence, and then he states, “You’ve been busy.” 
“No more than you have been.” 
Paper slowly shuffles in Kiryuu’s hands, being sorted out one by one. Their stilted conversation is bland, no better than the time they had pretended to be friendly to each other in Cross Kaien’s school office. “There are always many things to attend to, even as there’s less vermin to exterminate.” Even the acid Kiryuu tries to fling does nothing more but fizzle and pop.
“Speaking of vermin. I am quite sure that you will soon find time for a vacation.” At that, Kaname turns to gaze out of the window, eyes fixed on a brown-haired pair down below.
The papers stop shuffling. “I see. Then I should start preparing for that time.” And with that, there is only silence between the two of them.
There is no lost love between the both of them, but at the very least, they can share a moment of understanding. (Of finality)
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Perhaps Kaname feels kind today, revisiting the past. Or perhaps he is simply tired. Maybe that is why he leaves behind Artemis, lying on a faded prefect’s armband.
(She had loved him too, even at the very end)
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And one day, when it is all said and done—the foundations laid, the kingdom strong—Kuran Kaname allows himself to unravel, wither, and fade away.
He wonders if she’ll meet him with a smile from her heart.
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