#everything is moving so fast rn

[madalenadrops]

"Are you there?"

HEY

YES

I'M STILL ALIVE

Guys, words can't describe how sorry I am for not even letting you all know that I'll be doing a... "small" pause, let's call it... Things got soooo messy here, I don't even know what I'm doing anymore.

But of course, I still try to keep myself updated with how everything's rolling around (yes, I've seen teh update and I LOVE IT!!!!).

Still, I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say...

I"ll do my best to be active here yet again, like I was before.

Remember that I love you all, and I remember about you no mstter what 💜💜💜

#wh #welcome home art #welcome home #art #digital #drawing #for you page #digital artist #fyp #digital art #artist #sketch #painting #wh wally darling #wh wally #welcome home project #welcome home fanart #welcome home arg #welcome home puppet show #wally darling #im alive #idk what im doing #everything is moving so fast rn #guys im sorry #tryin to be active again

[coffee-bat]

hii not to vent on main but i kinda feel like my body is giving out

#really scared rn ✌️ #vent #personal #(cw: eating disorder) #so yknow my healths been on a downward spiral for years bc of my restriction #anemia kidney stones gallstones hypothyrodyism hypothermia etc #ive already been having trouble fasting for a good while now #but in the past week its suddenly gotten so much worse #when i dont eat for a long time its now gone from 'feeling faint/nauseous' #to 'i am going to faint RIGHT now' #everything goes cold. brain feels foggy. floor feels like its moving. my limbs feel numb #and not even after that long not eating #yesterday it happened at only 1pm (i got up at 6 (ofc no breakfast) and been active from then) #like even last month i could easily go a whole day #and even then the only thing forcing me to eat sth was the nausea #now i dont even get to the point of nausea ir hunger pangs. its just a sudden drop and i HAVE to get some sugar immediately or ill pass out #its never been like this. i could go on longer. i had control over when i ate #now im being forced to by my own body just going 'fuck you' #the fact that its so sudden scares me #and even outside the episodes im exhausted. rn breathing feels like effort. yesterday i was scared to go to sleep #in a few hours ill get my blood checked. then ill know if its just anemia worsening or sth. but rn with no idea whats happening #im scared #it feels like my body is giving up. it handled so much abuse from me for years and now it feels like a 'straw that broke the camels back'- #-moment. like its just giving out with no warning signs #im really scared and dont really have anywhere to turn to so. sorry posting here feel free to ignore

[becauseplot]

mmmm i just. im probably gonna have to sleep on this one. i have faith in quackity and the admins not to just kill off 90% of the characters and all but one egg, that would be like. actually ridiculous. like come on. my only real thing is pLEASE LET THERE BE A BREAK WAILSSS. it would be so good for the ecosystem, especially for the fandom. the past two weeks have been a dead sprint. i need to breathe 0(-(

#discourse #<-putting that to be safe im actually fine rn #anyway im manifesting a delay until the server opens or the event picks back up again #there are things i wanna do and wanna write but everything moves so fast

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#ahaha we r playing it fast and fucking loose out here in the middle of fucking nowhere #like for real. dangerous fucking day. why? bc being around ppl stresses me out so fucking much i cant function #we've done 16hrs of driving in the last 3 days and i have not eaten much bc i get so stressed in restaurants #and so many things either bother my braib or my stomach and nothing tastes good and i csnt advocate for myself and if someone else tries to #advocate for me i get freaked out and paranoid abt being watched #so yeah. low on food and im so neurotic that i cant pee in public restrooms. which is not good so i dont drink much which is double not #good. which is to say that i got up todsy at 6am in an undernourished condition and then did fucking like 8hrs of field work in #the fucking desert. real real bad move. do not fucking do that. my pee looks so bad. god if i dont have a panic attack or burst into tears #by the end of the week it'll b a miracle. im already going all weird. i have v little bandwidth to pretend to b human then i do field work #and it all goes out the window bc im focused and trying to get things done asap and if things arent efficient i start to freak out. so ppl #will try to joke or talk to me and i just stare at them for a beat too long bc my brain is lagging and its all awkward. just like dont talk #to me and let me get this over with. i basically did lunges for like 5hrs my legs r gonna hurt so bad and we have 4 more days. like it was #bad today. like the undergrad with us also thought so. i feel so bad 4 him but hes a good sport. i dont kno whats gonna happen the rest of #the week. i got back todsy and wandered around bc there r like 3 rooms in this field house and i csnt relax if someone else is in the room #i went outside and ate a jelly sandwich sitting on the ground like a weirdo. like im pretty sure im noticeably being weird bc i do try to b #slightly charismatic normally but rn im stripped to my base elements like. oh ur talking to me? ok u arent saying anything interesting so #im moving on. im not gonna speak unless i absolutely have to and im gonna find a corner to hide away in. pls do not contact #hopefully im so stressed ill skip my period bc i do not wanna deal with that on top of everything. and the fact that im wide fucking awake #at like 11.30 after the day ive had is not looking like a good sign on that front. its a sign if fucking crazy. im laying #here on this bunkbed in a too warm room. no pillow bc im a freak and i dont wanna sleep bc im not tried and i cant sleep around other ppl #ugh so many bad vibes. do not do what i did. pls. that was real dangerous. #god i think that was at least a 13 or 14hr day. fuck that. i don't even care abt this project and im worried that's showing #not to mention the bad thing i did like a month back when i was losing my mind has caught up to me. its fine. awkwardly annoying but fine #hhhh actions have consequences ☹️ #tw food #unrelated

[shinechermont]

You took eveything from me

You took my time

You took my peace

You took my passions

You took my only friends

Wasn't I a good person?

Didn't I do everything right?

Then why you are doing this.

All the chats at night

All the dreams shared

All the things I managed to build

Why did you destroy it?

The work of years. Ruined in seconds like a castle of cards.

My peace was in there. My sanity in there. My life was in there.

And you took them. All of it.

Tell me. Will I ever manage to make things work again?

Will things ever be like they were before?

Will I ever manage to fix what you destroyed?

#vent #tw vent #vent tw #i am putting trigger tags just in case #im sorry guys #i know you actually want content and I am working on it rn #i just really needed to vent #some things happened these times #i feel like due to these things im losing everything i love #and now im trying to make everything go back to normal but it isnt working at all #it feels like everyone is moving on and im being left behind with nothing but the awareness that i am lonely #it also feels like everything i experienced in the last years was an illusion #like #do people care about me the same way i care about them? #do people miss me the same way i miss them? #ive been their friend for years but they replaced me after two months not keeping contact due to great changes in my life #this makes me feel like garbage #am i useless? was the time we passed together meaningless? #i feel like if i was important they wouldnt replace me so fast #but the worst is that i cant do the same thing they did #they still matter to me like A LOT #no matter what i do i still try to keep the more contact with them #but sometimes it feels like im talking to strangers not friends that i was so (supposedly) close to #i am not putting the blame on them for what is happening between us #it is more like the circumstances fault #i am just so surprised that they could find someone else so fast to have the same place as I used to have #so horribly surprised

[motheyes]

wow i am like. feeling a lot. i’m very overwhelmed

#this heater is about to turn off and then it’s over for me #i need my background noise. this is gunna suck #it’s ok tho i have youtube fan vids ap hour edition #man wtf. i feel like a chapter in my life is closing or something #things feel rlly pivotal. like anything could happen #i’m quitting my job without having a back up but i’m extremely determined to get another so i’m gunna make it happen #i have to i literally have to lol #i feel very weird and crazy #my dad dropped more details about recent trauma and it’s like #very fucked up. and very sad like truly one of the more horrible things i’ve heard #and so close to christmas. man :( #my dad and his gf are so stressed out rn #and they have a teen moving in very very soon it’s so crazy #i don’t envy them. they have very fast paced lives. #but it suits them. they are both very happy people #and i’m very happy for them. i sometimes wish things weren’t so . raw. tender. swollen #everything is so strange at this house. it brings back alot for me #i grew up here. everything started here #i’m just feeling a lot christmas is such a crazy time

[noxtivagus]

i will never shut up about ffxiv huh

#🌙.rambles #[ ffxiv. ] #after finishing that emotional quest i am. #just afking a bit in the doman enclave to sell things as usual n. bro. i #peak 1 am i get emotional v easily #listening to cyan's theme brings back memories hehe. stormblood n hien.. i enjoyed that very much #oh n.. ah i just remembered an old friend sorry. that was last year. sigh #that aside i'm just really happy to play ffxiv again rn :( #i'll reply to one of my other friends later bcs she hasn't been doing well lately so i wna. offer some more words #now i'm just afking in sharlayan rn n it brings back so many memories #i remember very keenly. like emet-selch i really am a slave to sentiment #hehe going to sharlayan for the first time w apollo. christmas break. we finally bought endwalker. started msq #it was nighttime when the cutscene ended. we took pictures n marveled at the new sight. the music #the first time i heard the ost n then yk the chorus motif of flow in it.. i'd remember that first moment forever #how.. magical it was. a new adventure. heart filled with hope n love i was really happy then #fast forward i remember afking here a lot while waiting for pf to fill up for raid. i remember afking while waiting for frontlines queue #i remember everything in msq too. i remember doing that all still while we were in our old house #i remember walking around sharlayan a bit while talking to my friends in our lil cwls #i remember months ago earlier this year of how anxious i was. the burdening need of feeling like i have to catch up.. #the dread of falling behind. and then moving to materia from twintania i remember how lonely i felt #that lasted for a while. i'd miss the past so much. i miss ffxiv aaaa #i haven't really played actively in months now the thought of it makes me rather sad.. but i treasure every moment i have here #this game will always be here for me to return to. i have a new friend now on ravana yeah. we'll be making that fc in a few days #soon. more friends plan to play. hopefully. i love them all so v much :( i'm emotional rn ohgod ffxiv just. enables me to be vulnerable /po #i've had anxiety bcs like yk returning to the game after. not keeping up w so much content is so daunting.. it's scary #but i've already done so much. i'll continue to do what i can. endwalker's been out for nearly a year n it feels so weird #so much has happened since then but time's going by so fast it's really weird. but just. relaxing in this quiet moment is #it's enough for me right now. i promised myself many things. the least i could do is. do what i can for that #just like my wol here yk looking at her white rose :< i'll hold unto my youth. i shouldn't have to let go of it #flow's lyrics oh my god i remember earlier this year i wld listen to it when i was sad n stressed n it wld bring me to tears. comfort

[femme-malewife]

I need to be professionally taught spanish instead of self teaching...

#my brain is fried #i can kinda read and understand spanish but im in no way shape or form fluent #im more fluent in spanish than i am in japanese tbh #but still #even though i can read it kinda and understand it mostly when its spoken #i still cant speak it or write it very well #sigh #im also trying to learn sign language #so im an english speaker but im learning spanish. japanese. and sign language #i think since im focused on everything all at once instead of taking things bit by bit #its making it harder for me UIHAKJKHAS #on top of that i get random bursts of wanting to know random things #like rn my yt history is full of...well...history #i find history very fascinating #and my recent google searches are all about sciencey stuff #like How Exactly does the brain send neurons that allow us to move #and other stuff #and i get all these bursts out of nowhere. it makes processing lots of shit really hard #maybe im just naturally stupid??? #idk why im ranting about this when my og topic was the fact im trying to be trilingual as fast as i can #or is it quadlingual with sign language??????

[be-good-to-bugs]

AAAAH forever stress is going to kill me one day

#the bin #i hate knowing why i feel so bad and not being able to do anything about it #im scared that ill never ever feel better. its been so long since i felt ok. im worried that ill make friends and still feel horrible all #the time and it wont matter. i cant keep doing this. im so tired of being all alone. im so tired of the constant inescapable dread #im going to figure something out. in a month ill be moved and i can start figuring everything out then #i hate not being able to focus on anything besides how bad i feel. i cant enjoy anything. theres so many shows i wanna watch but i cant #because im so distracted by this. theres so much manga i wanna read and i cant. #literally the ONLY thing that has been able to make me temporarily forget this for any amount of time is dungeon meshi #its so fucking good and it sparks so much joy that it does help but not enough. i get sad again really fast. #well. im trying really hard to manage my stress. i did the math on how much i should be getting. i know that i will have rent at least. #there are 2 weeks that i dont know what my hours will be but assuming i get 13 hours at least then i should have an ok amount for #moving. its possible theyll be worse and its possible theyll be better. im really hoping theyre better. my hours have been SO BAD recently #i dont know why. i know im not bad at my job or anything. i sont think my manager dislikes me either. he does this whenever someone #hasnt been feeling well and hell do it for a couple weeks and i think its him trying to be considerate but i have bills to pay man #technically there is a shift i could pickup but the store has a drive thru so im nervous to bc idk how that works and if im asked to do that #then ill have no idea so ive been avoiding taking any shifts like that #hopefully enough will pop up in the coming weeks and i can get some more hours. i know i can cover moving vehicle cost but idk how much #gas is gonna be so im suuuuper worried abt that. hhhh. hopefully my sister and her boyfriend can get me back the $300 they owe too #honestly idk how they werent able to afford rent but immediately after they were able to afford a 40 hour roadtrip and yimw off work #whatever. it doenst matter. #i wish i could deal with the other stuff messing me up rn but i cant fix the loneliness thing without not being alone and i cant fix that #it doesnt matter how much i tell myself ill make friends eventually or if i believe it or not. i feel bad because ive gone way too long #not hanging out with anyone and my brain cant handle it. #im gonna see if maybe i can play a game with my sister soon. or maybe i couod play smth with my younger sister even #i pkayed roblox with her for a little while. maybe she would want to again. i miss her :(

[aastarions]

feeling very strange tonight!!!

#i suddenly got hit with super strong feelings of just overwhelming-ness #i think it has to do with all the moving stuff #on top of last min wedding stuff #im quite overwhelmed at the next few weeks its hard to distract myself or think about other stuff #i also have been up since 730am on this saturday day and that is stinky #i just want to fast forward through these next 2 weeks #finish moving everything into the house get married and go on our honeymoon and relax fdlkjdsfkj #also very stressed money-wise so thats not helping #im gonna play some bg3 and try and distract myself idk how well itll work rn #but ill try

[phantom-of-the-north]

.

#I’m like the lowest I’ve ever been in my life :))) #so many things have changed in such a short time I don’t know what’s up or down anymore #said goodbye to my childhood home 4 weeks ago #moved in with my girlfriend and her mom but I sleep in a storage shed in their backyard with my cat #my mom couldn’t keep Dino with her in the apartment so I’ve lost him too and that’s what hurts the most #I miss him so much #he has a new family and he’s doing great there and I’m so happy that he’s alright but it’s hard to accept that I can’t be with him anymore #everything happened so fast. all the decisions. I didn’t have time to react #and now all the grief is washing over me #at the same time my new medication is likely giving me side effects so I have this extremely intense anxiety and I’m constantly sad #I have to stuff myself full of promethazine in order to function somewhat normally #last week my anxiety was so bad that I almost had to go to the emergency psychiatric ward #also it sucks having to take physics and math rn it’s so draining and difficult and it feels so much harder cause my mental health is shit #really these classes make me wanna die but I have to take them if I’m gonna reach the education I have in mind #just venting I guess #sorry #I’ve been away from here for like a month? I barely have the energy to check my dashboard

[candyxatu]

this summer sucked major ass im SO excited for it to be over

#moving back to uni THIS FRIDAY!! #all my housemates are already there and i SOO regret not going earlier #im just so excited to get back ive missed my friends SOO MUCH :( #and my GIRLFRIEND!! THEYRE THERE RN!! #friday cant come fast enough pls pls pls ive got everything i need i just want to go back #personal

[blacksails2017]

chaos of the weekend has died down and now my brain is back on it’s reacting to good things happening with bad emotions like pls grow up and function normally

#fly back to mi tomorrow (today?) and am in no way prepared #there’s stuff I wanted to get done b4 leaving but there is no time #on bright side 2 friends from uni moved here today and I got to see them for many a hours #I just feel like something horrible is going to happen and change everything drastically and thus I shouldn’t get too comfortable w how #things are bc that can get taken away so fast #but like all things considered things are good rn and I should just enjoy that fact #but my brain simply won’t let things be good for me #anyways. it’s 3am and I need to do laundry. great planning there

[rogersstevie]

just a few more days of exercising outside and then i’ll be free of these FUCKING BUGS

#oh my god i hate it #assuming i don’t have any more overheating problems when i move indoors lol #the a/c is finally on but like. not high enough/consistently enough i think #idk sick of whatever my dad is doing there bc it puts me at risk of fainting #which like i don’t need the fear of head injury on top of everything else rn #many times i’ve gotten down fast enough so i’ve been okay but #i just hate the heat so fucking much #yes i will complain if it’s cold too but like i can deal with it

[shatteredsnail]

staring real hard at circle of inevitability’s nightmare volume full translation while my rationality desperately screams at me not to make poor choices

#ughhhh i wanna read it so bad #i had no clue it got translated. i haven’t been keeping up since i finished tlom forever ago #but i need to finish everything i’m reading rn and like. graduate #maybe i’ll catch up by the time it reaches vol3. lightseeker just started so that gives me what? 100ish days? #it just moves so fast #i don’t think klein wakes up for a while though and that’s what i’m really invested in so #i mean i’m sure i’ll be interested in lumian i just don’t know anything about him #ugh i haven’t even read eai either. and my cosmere reread stares in my face from my bookshelf everyday #this summer. i tell you. i’ll get caught up on everything #i think the immediate list is like 6 series not counting orv cause that’s really just one giant book

[muddi-gutz]

:/

#regretting having a roommate #i love her to death but i said she could use my makeup when she asked one day and like yeah i really don’t care but she’s not really aware #of like her surroundings n shit #if that makes sense #so like she doesn’t even put any of it back. and i just found one of my eyeliner pigment stick thingies with the lid shoved on it so hard it #it cracked and the product smushed into the lid #so a bunch of product was wasted + the lid is now broken #and i told her not to use the lipstick/gloss when she does use my makeup and it’s pretty obvious she uses it anyways #and also when she eats she spills everywhere and doesn’t clean it so now my pillows and blankets on the couch have stains from pizza rolls #on them #ughhh like it’s more beneficial to have a roommate bc i do need help with bills and also keeping the apartment clean #but she also lies about shit and she defo tries to manipulate me whether she knows it or now #not* #we agreed on her paying me $400 for the rent when she first moved in bc that’s half of everything (which she volunteered to pay for. i was #originally just going to have her pay half the rent.) and when i brought up that i paid the rent for the month she was like oh i should pay #you before i forget. ‘it was $350 we agreed on right? right? yeah. yeah it was.’ like really fast before i could even say anything #and i was like uhh no lol it was 400 #and ughhh like i love her so much but i’m just not having a good time rn and can’t hold it in any longer #muddi thoughts #and don’t get me wrong i love having her around but. :| #so tomorrow when i go to walmart i’m getting a makeup bag so i can keep my shit in my room #i hate having to bring stuff up bc we both hate confrontation and i also have rsd so when she’s uncomfortable w the confrontation i feel #really really fucking bad #so i just silently fix things. and i’m ok with that #and obvi i’m not gonna say this to my stupid fucking parents cuz they’ll be like oH i ToLd YoU sO because they’re narcissist pricks who #want to isolate me from fucking everyone #vent / #wishing the people in my phone were real rn even tho i never talk to them #i say this as if they’re not real lol #i just mean irl real yk