motheyes

[motheyes]

there should be a socially acceptable way to say "im not sure what to say to that. can you say something different"

[motheyes]

god sometimes i wanna be put down like an old dog

#been having a rough one

[motheyes]

ok i’m gunna sleep

#it’s so late my body hurts #mwauh

[motheyes]

gunna go to a concert in a few days im pumped for that

#even staying the night at a hotel and such it’ll be great :) #stressful tho lol i do everything #heart just sank cuz i remembered everything. my life #my relationships. my house. my body. ugh #the state of things is not great rn. a lot of necessary change and movement #just all happening way too fast #but has to happen

[motheyes]

i feel the best when i’m on call with my gf and playing video game

#been minecrafting a lot past few days #been so fun :) i’m making a big house from a hole in the side of a mountain #it’s fun i love that game #took a teeny break from stardew i cranked like 60 hours into my save already lol #not a lot compared to other ppl im sure #love that game it’s so fucking good #so fun to come back to after a long time of not playing it #i can barely focus rn like my mind feels extremely disconnected from my head #i feel rlly far away. such a weird feeling #i have been on my phone for like 2 hours straight lol #not good for me but my brain is trying to cope rn #doing his best

[motheyes]

trying to ground myself and feel more alive but it’s hard

#the stress doesn’t even feel that bad these past few days but i know it’s just all of the stuff catching up with me #oh and i just had a rlly bad day yesterday #sm shit in my life #sm shit going wrong #it’s insane the list i could make #it feels almost comical sometimes #like huh. ok

[motheyes]

kinda nice when i can be like ‘grr ive had this awful feeling and i keep over eating to feel better and i dont feel myself’ and release im dissociating a lot due to stress and using food to ground my self / cope

#it feels nice being able to identify stuff #feels awful tho i’m so out of it i feel barely alive tbh #feels like i’m playing a stupid video game

[motheyes]

swag

#i got diagnosed with sleep apnea like two days ago #i don’t even snore or anything #but you can not snore and still have it #i have rlly big tonsils and a big tongue and i guess it interrupts my breathing when i sleep :( #i just hate having another thing on my list of shit wrong with me lol #also sleep apnea isn’t considered a disability?? that’s weird

[motheyes]

sometimes my life feels so out of control

#swagever tho

[motheyes]

to do before u go

-at least start laundry

-pack (don’t forget meds, gift socks, charger block!!!!)

#uhhhhhhh i guess that’s it

[motheyes]

man i was supposed to be asleep hours ago

#got things to do tomorrow #as in visit my gf :3 wanted to leave early tho #idk if that’ll happen cuz it’s 1 am lol #gunna make a list of stuff i gotta do before i go

[motheyes]

oh god my bowels HELP

[motheyes]

i’m over two years clean btw 🎉

#very very weird to think about #it rlly doesn’t even cross my mind anymore which is insane to me #like wtf. things do good better?? swag 😎

[motheyes]

ok i had my emo moment now im chill and cool

[motheyes]

ruining all my relationships

#maybe i will and then i’ll run away and get a new name and job and be someone else

[motheyes]

ok i’m over being autistic get outta me

[motheyes]

-call dentist place

-press flowers

-aprons?

-finish sewing projects