#even worse if you want to play the oppression Olympics

[thatjewishzionistscout]

@spot-the-antisemtism

Yeah, I don’t even know where to begin.

#israel #jewblr #jewish #antisemitism #i stand with israel #leftists brainrot #leftist antisemitism #left antisemitism #this is just gross #when Jews talk about oppression we’re main characters #when other groups do it their brave #‘something unique to human history’ yeah no it isn’t bitch #jews have gone through the same thing #even worse if you want to play the oppression Olympics #double standards

[goldenlikedayl1ght]

peace - m. murdock

a/n: hi guys! missed you. desperately wanted to write more hoh!reader, so i did it. this can be read on it's own, OR it can be read as a part two to my fic, 'the lakes', which you can read here! feedback always appreciated! <3 warnings: so much damn fluff, suggestive behaviors, like literally tooth rotting fluff! mentions of some abelism but nothing actually happens it's just sort of mentioned. matt hates buffalo chicken pizza, the cold hurts readers ears, also a lot of kissin' and tinnitus because of course there is. word count: 3.0k summary: tinnitus, buffalo chicken pizza, and objections. what more can you ask for from matt murdock? paring: matt murdock x hoh!reader now playing: peace - taylor swift "the devils in the details/but you got a friend in me/would be enough if i could never give you peace?"

There are things that no one teaches you about dating.  

There are things that no one teaches you about dating Matt Murdock, a blind man.

There are things that no one teaches you about dating Matt Murdock, a blind man, who has super senses and is also a vigilante.

There are things that no one teaches you about dating Matt Murdock, a blind man, who has super senses and is also a vigilante… while also being deaf.

As you lost your hearing, you knew dating would be difficult. That was never a secret. Your first girlfriend after you started wearing hearing aids once hid them from you as a punishment after an argument. Safe to say that relationship didn’t last long.

One time, you went on a date with a guy who asked in the middle of your dinner, ‘Could you please take off your headphones? It’s cool that they’re Bluetooth but it’s really rude.’ You did not make it to dessert.

Then there was the time that your ex-boyfriend thought you were talking about him in ASL to your mom in front of him. You broke up with him soon after.

And Matt has experienced his fair share of ableism in dating too—Women who thought they could get away with stealing from him because he was blind, or that thought that he just had to have a service dog, and he’d be so cute with one.

So, when you started dating each other, things were obviously different. You weren’t sure how, but the idea of dating another person with a disability never occurred to you. Maybe it was because of how often you found people playing oppression Olympics, a classic game of ‘who has it worse?’ a game you had no interest in playing.

And the struggles you and Matt have in your relationship are never ones represented in rom-coms or in romantic novels. Dating any blind man would have been hardly represented but Matt, with his charm and heightened senses, was completely uncharted waters. And yet, you dive in headfirst.

One of the most romantic things Matt does for you within the first six months of your relationship happens on a cold February day. Winter in New York isn’t over until at least March, so you walk home from work, arm in arm. You decide to stop in for Thai food but decide to stand outside in favor of in the crowded restaurant where Matt would be hearing too many things and you wouldn’t be hearing nearly enough.

But he notices, as he often does, how you squirm in discomfort, waiting for time to pass. Though you do not show it in your face, he hears it in the way you breath deeply to try and relax through whatever it is that’s bothering you. He notices the grip on his arm tightening, even just a bit.

“What’s wrong, bee?” You’re never getting over your fondness for the nickname. But you stay quiet for a second, because you know he can tell if you’re lying.

“My ears hurt.” You hate saying it, because you feel like it’s all you do—yap about your ears and how much they hurt. They hurt from talking on the phone and holding it up to your ear for so long. They hurt from being in loud environments like parties and bars. But dear god, do they hurt right now. And you know exactly why.

“Oh, is it too loud? We could move to a different spot,” he says softly but you shake your head.

“Uh.. No. It’s cold. The cold is bothering my ears.” You explain, and he just nods. But before he can respond, you continue, “They’re in pain when it’s cold and earmuffs don’t do anything except block out sound and I can’t hear anyways, negating the point of my hearing aids.” You’ve tried earmuffs time and time again. And usually, you’d just wear a beanie or something, but you forgot yours.

So, Matt thinks for a moment, before tucking his cane under his arm, before lifting his hands to come up to your face. The heel of his hand comes up to rest against your cheeks while the length of his fingers gently cup around your ears. He’s not pressing down, making it harder to hear, but your ears are immediately warmer. Matt’s hands—and well, everything, are naturally very warm and the leather gloves he has on makes it even more so.

Your face flushes, as you lean into his touch. What a man you have found yourself. You stay like this for a little while, until your food is ready. Your face turns and you plant a gentle kiss to the palm of his hand.

As you leave the restaurant after grabbing your food, you want to say one more thing. Just quickly.

“Thanks for helping, by the way.. I’m sorry I constantly complain about my ears.” You tell him, and he just gets this goofy grin on his face.

“At least you’re not blind. That would suck.” He links his arm with yours. You just laugh, leaning against him.

“Shut up,” and at this request, he scoffs.

“You love listening to me talk, it’s one of your favorite things ever!” he defends.

You just grin because your boyfriend can tell when you’re lying. And you know anything other than telling him that what he said was true would be the biggest lie you ever told.

...

It’s not all sunshine and rainbows with Matt, though.

Okay, maybe that’s sort of dramatic. Neither of you are particularly violent nor angry, but one time you get really heated.

Your time working with Nelson, Murdock & Page is wonderful, and because it’s just the four of you, often, you wind up getting lunch together. Someone runs out, grabs food, and you all sit in the conference room, talk and eat.

But today, you barely made it to lunch.

“Where do you guys wanna eat today?” Foggy asks, leaning against your doorway. He knows Matt can hear him from wherever, but you need him to be in the room to be able to decode what he’s saying. Karen leans against the desk in the main part of the office.

“Pizza?” You shrug, and Matt calls from his office,

“Sounds good!”

“Great. What do you guys want?” He asks.

“I’m really in the mood for buffalo chicken pizza, I dunno why.” You shrug. Matt’s footsteps echo through the office, before he’s in your doorway as well.

“What the fuck did you just say?”

You gaze at him, perplexed.

“Uh… I want buffalo chicken pizza?”

“Honey, You cannot be serious.”

“What is your problem, Matthew?” You laugh, but he looks disgusted.

“You are a New York native! How can you enjoy something as blasphemous as wanting buffalo chicken pizza?” He asks, and Foggy just laughs.

“Dude, no way. You can’t be discriminatory towards pizza.” Then, Karen speaks up.

“No, you can’t. Not technically. But I most definitely am. Buffalo chicken pizza ruins the point of pizza!”

Then, you go to defend yourself.

“The point of Pizza is to enjoy it! And I enjoy buffalo chicken pizza!”

“Well, you’re enjoying pizza wrong!”

“You can’t enjoy pizza incorrectly!”

At this point, Foggy is just giggling, “I can’t breathe,” He wheezes.

Now, you stand and leave your desk, going into the main part of the office.

“Where are you going?” Matt asks.

“I don’t need to be berated about my pizza preferences in my own office by my own boyfriend!”

“I have a valid excuse; I can taste all the ingredients of buffalo chicken pizza and it’s disgusting!”

“It’s not my fault you’re a freak with crazy senses!”

Matt gasps, “Bee, you wound me!”

“Do not use that nickname with me, Matthew!” You tell him, “That’s a low blow!”

“Why, just because I think your pizza choices are awful doesn’t mean I don’t still love you, Sweetheart! Your pizza preference is just inexcusable, and I think you need to accept that—”

“You know what?”

“What?”

Your hands come up to your ears, quickly turning your hearing aids off and taking them off, putting it on a nearby desk.

Though you cannot hear, Foggy and Karen’s face tells you that they are dying of laughter, and Matt has this offended look on his face when he realizes he no longer hears the familiar buzzing of your hearing aids.

This is how you spend your day. You sit at your desk, hungry, as your boyfriend yaps by your doorway. You know he’s asking you to put your hearing aids in or telling you that your pizza request is dumb, you can just sort of make out what he’s saying by the movement of his lips.

But you do not budge, and by the time it’s time to go back to his apartment, you simply slip on your coat and wait for him to meet you by the door. He has given up trying to talk to you, for the most part. But the silent treatment is killing him. Even when you get to his apartment, he’s left speechless as you silently retreat into his bedroom, stealing some clothes and going to lay down.

Honestly, though? The worst part isn’t the silent treatment or ignoring him, but it’s the fact that he knows your ears ring even worse when you walk through the city without your hearing aids on. He knows you’re in pain. It’s killing him because you’re trying not to show it, but he can tell you’re clenching your jaw and burying your head beneath his pillow. You’re trying to rely on the softness of his sheets and the faint smell of him lingering between the sheets.

So, he devises a plan. And every minute he waits for the plan to be carried out is torture because he knows you’re too stubborn to forfeit your opinion on buffalo chicken pizza. When he is finally able to give you an apology you truly deserve, he grabs your hearing aids off the coffee table and crawls into bed behind you. You feel the bed dip but don’t say anything.

He plants a soft kiss to your hand, beginning to trail kisses up your arm and shoulder. He kisses your neck, and then jaw. You glance back over to him, seeing the hearing aids in his hand. You take them from him and put them on, before turning them on. He grins at the familiar humming they create at a frequency that will not bother you.

“Still mad at me, bee?” He asks, kissing your shoulder again. You shrug.

“Mad is a strong word, but yes.”

“Let me make it up to you?”

“Fine, but only because you’re cute.” He likes this answer. He takes your hand and pulls you off the bed, taking you to the kitchen. And you smell.. Pizza. There’s a box from your favorite place, and you step away from him to open the box. It’s a half plain pie and a half buffalo chicken pie. Because no matter how much he disagrees with you, he just wants you to talk to him and not be in so much pain for the sake of winning an argument.

You turn your head and place a soft kiss to his cheek. He tilts his head and places a soft kiss to your lips.

“Am I forgiven, bee?”

“I think so, Matty.” You hum.

He grins and kisses you again, thrilled to sense your more relaxed posture now.

...

Another challenge of your relationship comes from being lawyers. Mostly since you’re both ridiculously stubborn. You have a fun game you like to play out of it, though.

This one time you play, you’re laying with him on his couch, listening to music when you start yapping.

“I think I might style my hair a different way,” you tell him, but he just shrugs and plays with your hair.

“I think you look gorgeous either way.”

You furrow your brows for a second, and his face splits into a grin since he knows what’s coming.

“Objection,” you start, “You’re blind, you have no actual way of telling if I’m conventionally attractive.”

He considers this for a second.

“Overruled,” He determines, “Beauty is subjective, and in my opinion, you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever known.” Your face flushes.

“Objection,” You start again, and he groans, knowing you won’t let it go, “You don’t need to flirt with me, I already want you.”

“Overruled,” He counters again, quicker this time, “I like flirting with you, and it keeps the spark alive. Plus, I like making you blush.”

You raise an eyebrow, and he knows what’s coming next.

“Objection,” You hum, “How could you possibly know I’m blushing?”

He simply moves his hands from your hair and rests them against your cheeks, before deciding.

“Overruled.”

There’s another time that you’re at Josie’s, and you want to talk to Karen about a surprise you’re planning for his birthday, but he’s sitting right there, so you start signing. And he knows you’re signing by the way your hands smack, and the air moves through your fingers.

“Objection,” He groans, “I can’t understand what you’re talking about!”

“Mm, Overruled,” You determine, “There are some things I’m allowed to keep from you, but you have super senses and can tell when I’m lying and can hear me from a long distance away. Signing is the only way to have things be confidential.”

He raises an eyebrow.

“Okay, objection—You aren’t supposed to keep secrets from your partner.”

“Overruled.” You tell him. “One, that’s something people say about wedded spouses, ask me to marry you, get a marriage certificate and show me a nice ring then we’ll talk,” He blushes at that, “Two, you have an unhealthy idea of relationships from past relationships. You’re in therapy for a reason.”

Matt nods.

“Okay, okay.” He sighs, “That’s fair.” You grin at this.

“See? Was it so hard to let me win, Counselor?”

He raises an eyebrow.

“Yes, it was, Counselor.” He tells you, but you just giggle, because you love being a lawyer and you love your boyfriend.

But this last time is your favorite.

You spent the night drinking at Marci and Foggy’s, but there was this tension between you and Matt, and you can hardly wait to get home. So at some point, you make a half assed excuse, mumbling something about how your hearing aid batteries are low, but whatever it was that you told them as an excuse, you don’t really care.

Because now you’re on your bed, Matt pressed against you as he kisses down your neck. His teeth graze against your skin, and you gasp when he bites down, leaving a large mark on your neck.

Then, Matt, horny and a little tipsy, goes,

“Objection, I thought I told you to be quiet.” He continues to kiss your neck, jumping from side to side, leaving marks here and there.

“Overruled, I’m deaf, I can’t tell how loud I’m being,” You hum, your fingers lacing into his hair. He hums and kisses your collarbone before he speaks again.

“Objection,”

“Jesus fucking Christ, Matt—”

He shushes you softly before kissing you.

“Ssh… It’s listening time, sweetheart,” Okay, that was hot, “Objection,” He starts again, “You can be quiet for me, I know you can. I know you can follow orders, baby.” He then kisses your neck again.

“Overruled,” You start, tugging on his hair a bit. “You decided to play our game while knowing I’m at your mercy. It’s an abuse of power.”

“An abuse of—” he half scoffs, half chuckles. “You know what, Sweetheart?”

“What, Matty?”

“Objection. Be quiet or I’ll stop.”

Damn. An ultimatum. You knew that in situations like these, Matt’s willpower is stronger than yours.

“Sustained.”

“There we go, bee, was that so hard?”

...

The real best part of dating Matt Murdock, a blind lawyer with super senses while being deaf?

Well..

It starts on a warm sunny Sunday morning. You’re laying in bed, the sun peeking through its curtains. You’re laying on your stomach, face smooshed against pillows as he stretches out beside you. In another life, your dear boyfriend was a cat.

You don’t have your hearing aids in yet. It’s too early. Plus, you’re just enjoying the look of Matt basking in the warmth of the light. He’s gorgeous, your boy.

You lean forward and gently kiss the corner of his eyes, squeezed shut as he stretches. He stops when he feels your lips against his skin, smiling softly. He says good morning, but you can’t really hear him, so you just take his hand and press a kiss to his skin there too.

He returns the favor later, as you’re pouring your coffee. He presses a soft kiss to your ear, and you grin, resting your body against his He presses another kiss to your other ear. It’s something small, but it thrills you.

Matt is gentle with you in a way that you’re not used to. It’s not the sort of gentleness that comes with most people, where they’re afraid of breaking you because of your being deaf, but it’s a gentleness that comes despite it.

You enjoy bathing in his affection, especially because he is just so willing to give it to you and while it should be something you’re used to, you’re not. But you’re getting there. Matt makes sure of it.

The pair of you just seem to find the darkest cracks and crevices of the other, and you love those parts dearly.

You begin to kiss the corner of his eyes more often, and it quickly replaces his jaw as your favorite place to kiss. And your ears, despite how much pain and suffering they provide to you, Matt is a big fan of just kissing them.

So, when he leans forward and kisses your ears, you lean over to him and kiss the corners of his eyes. The way he squeezes his eyes shut at the affection is pretty adorable. It’s always awful when he must slip on those red glasses that hide those pretty eyes.

“Objection,” you groan.

He places a soft kiss to the top of your ear.

“Overruled.”

#matt murdock #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x y/n #matt murdock x you #daredevil #daredevil fic #matt murdock fic #daredevil fanfiction #matt murdock fluff #matt murdock x hoh!reader #deaf!reader #hoh!reader #matt murdock x gn!reader #gn!reader

[nikethestatue]

Never will I ever, EVER understand the hold that Lucien Vanserra has on parts of this fandom.

I am not a Lucien hater. To me, he is a throwaway character that did a good job being a comic relief and first friend to Feyre in ACOTAR. And that's it.

But my god. Every day there are all these glowing, obsessive posts about him. About how he deserves everything. About how he deserves his mate. His happiness. About how Elain is a slut for even considering anyone else, let alone trying to kiss another man while Lucien is around. That Feyre is an ungrateful bitch. Rhys is a Lucien abuser. Azriel is an unhinged maniac who wants to kill Lucien. Lucien suffered the most in the entire series. Nothing compares to the horrors that Lucien lived through. Lucien is homeless. Oppressed. Depressed. He doesn't have parents. He doesn't have friends. He is abandoned. Woe is Lucien.

And I am just like...wut?

You know who suffered more than Lucien? Literally EVERYONE in ACOTAR. Not to play trauma olympics, but really? Lucien is the most unfortunate character is ACOTAR? Are people nuts?

You know whose fate is 100 times worse?

Clotho!

Gwyn Berdara!

Rhysand!

Tamlin!

Elain Acheron!

Feyre Archeon!

Every Priestess in the Library!

And many more.

Lucien is a High Fae who's lived a privileged life his whole life. Yes, he's got a mean dad. His girlfriend was murdered. He lost his eye. None of these are easy things to live through. But I don't recall him watching his entire family die violently. Has he ever struggled with poverty? Didn't have enough to eat? Was he enslaved? Was he ever violently tortured? Was he forced into an unwanted marriage? Was he turned into a human against his will? Watched thousands of his people slaughtered in a war?

Elain's history and suffering are brushed under the rug like they mean nothing, but poor Lucien, who's moved from palace, to manor, to palace wearing his cream pants and glossy boots is the epitome of suffering. Rhys was tortured by his dad more intensely and cruelly than anything that Beron's ever done to Lucien. Somehow Emerie, who is permanently mutilated, truly oppressed, is a 'lesser' Fae, violently abused by her father, and not accepted by her people, is just an afterthought, but Lucien is praised and cried over (for basically exactly the same things as Emerie is living through) like he is the most tragic character in history.

I don't know. I don't get it. I will never get it.

[olderthannetfic]

This might be a somewhat controversial opinion/rant, but as a black queer woman (i really id myself as being more genderqueer, but since i'm afab there are just things about womanhood growing up that has just stuck with me as formative experiences.), I find it really difficult to build community with queer men, even in fandom. I've tried to have friendships with transmen, but so many just feel the need to ramp up misogyny to 1000 to validate themselves as men, and then with gay men, some will say the most out-of-pocket, misogynistic things but because they're not attracted to women, it's somehow okay, I guess. But lately, there's been this trend among queer men of saying and doing misogynistic things but justifying it by stating they're talking about white, cishet women. But the thing is, there's nothing in what they said that can be specifically applied to only white women. It's a target to all women (I refuse to play the oppression olympics of who has it worse). And now I see other queer women in fandom saying the same things to each other. I typically stay in anime/manga and danmei fanbases because that's where a lot of my interests are now, and I don't have to deal with USAian nonsense as much. But now that 7 Seas has unfortunately decided to translate more danmei into English that's changed. A queer male fan of a popular series has been unfollowed en masse by danmei fans for saying wildly misogynistic things about the author. Everyone all week has been scrambling to figure out where this came from. "He only ever said these things about cishet white women," but you guys... he was always talking about us the whole time. Now, I just don't know. Now I see why men aren't generally welcomed in or are common within romance-genre circles. It's just really frustrating to see the same thing over and over again. I'll add on that the only genuinely cool queer men in fandom I've met have come from yuri circles. The ones who try to talk about BL are, from my experiences, generally misogynistic, toxic, and feel as though everything should center around them because they're men and in BL the characters are men, as well. But when other women don't want to form community with them, they scream about 'homophobia' and 'fetishizing gay men.' No, you're just an annoying, awful person to be around, and the queer male yuri fans didn't want to deal with you either. Has anyone else, or you specifically, dealt with this? Is there a way to become friends with more queer men in BL spaces who aren't... like That? Or are there specific things/patterns to look for as far as who to avoid?

--

God, so much of this sounds so familiar.

I've known a sad number of trans dudes who overcompensate in dickhead ways. A lot of them do calm down a few years into presenting publicly as male, but it's infuriating to see that crap even if it's temporary.

I will say that two of my close circle of offline friends are trans men, including one who came out during the time we've all been friends. The defensive tomfoolery is in no way inevitable. Both of these dudes are nonwhite and have experience in various other geeky and queer spaces beyond BL (gaming, drag queens, etc.). Maybe that broader perspective helped, or maybe they're just nicer and more mature people than a lot of the little jerkfaces I run across online.

TBH, I often have better luck in offline meetups because to show up at all, people have to be a little more comfortable with getting along with others and behaving themselves. It's also sometimes easier to detect the people you want to back away from slowly when you can see how they treat people in person.

One of my neighbors is a cis gay guy. White, able bodied, middle class, yadda yadda. Exactly the demographic you'd expect to be the worst in certain spaces. He and his partner have lots of queer friends, and plenty of them aren't fellow cis gay guys, which is basically my litmus test for non-annoying cis gay guys offline. (Toxic cis gay dude culture is its own kettle of fish with a different set of issues than defensive trans boy culture, but I've encountered it plenty too.)

This neighbor is interested in geikomi and was delighted to find out I'm a fellow nerd and eager for all my nonfiction book recs about queer Japanese stuff. We don't necessarily overlap in our manga tastes, but there's still a lot we do share. When I ramble on about how AFAB queer people and/or bisexuals study history that's presented as cis gay men's history because that's all we have for most historical periods, he's like "Yeah, that makes total sense!" and not "Mine and not yours!"

I think the key here is that this is a dude who is secure in his identity, who's getting both his media and queer community needs met, and who's in his 40s, so he has some god damn perspective and doesn't need to pretend BL is aimed at him.

A lot of the little jerkfaces make me think "Did your preschool teacher not teach you how to share your toys?"

--

To be honest, there seem to be plenty of dudes hanging around my tumblr. A few cis. Many trans. But they're not going to bring it up incessantly in some defensive "you know I'm not a cootie-having girl, right?" way because who does that?

It comes up when there's a discussion about trans shit or BL as #ownvoices or whatever. (And, in general, any dude worth hanging out with will not think BL as an industry is, or should be, anything of the sort—even if he's expressing his own sense of queerness by writing some.)

On the flipside, I have seen some pretty extreme "no boys allowed" clubhouse nonsense in fandom. It's less common than it was, and past shitty dudes have often been the inspiration, but it can still be a bit much. The nicer class of fandom dude is often pretty hesitant in certain spaces because he's expecting to be met with hostility and is trying to figure out how to participate without tromping all over everyone. (TBH, the guys worrying about this are rarely the problem, but you know how it is.)

I've had dudes send me private messages being like "this thing you said seems kind of stereotypical and anti-man", but in the adult capable of conversation way, not in the tantruming 5-year-old way. And we had a conversation, and they stuck around.

I think having a very clear "It's not #ownvoices, fuck off" stance deters a lot of the more pestilential set. Being equally clear that everyone is welcome and that male yuri fans and female BL fans are pretty equivalent makes the guys worth knowing come out of the woodwork.

In 99% of spaces, I do not give a fuck if some man has his precious feelings hurt by a double standard or default suspicion of men... But fandom is a little unusual because of the demographics and relative power here being so different from in most spaces.

I've definitely seen some people who think women liking BL are fine because we care about characters' personalities, while male fans are all predators or all write f/f that is just fetishy porn or m/m that sounds like Nifty.org and not other fanfic or whatever.

And, yeah, I'll shut down the dumbasses crying in my inbox because I made a joke about Nifty and "coke can dicks" (the kind of guys who have clearly never read m/m that's aimed at dudes outside of fandom spaces), but at the same time, we should extend a little benefit of the doubt to our fellow fandom members of whatever gender. There are usually plenty of men facepalming right along with me at these inexperienced young fools who cannot bear to share.

I think you're just running into the problem that the loud people whose identities you know are often using those identities to browbeat other fans on social media.

--

There are fewer men in BL spaces than women or nonbinary people, so one will typically end up knowing fewer men.

Honestly, I think you find the reasonable people and get rid of the unreasonable ones in the same way regardless of gender: Gatekeeping bullshit is a red flag. Very Online understandings of oppression are a red flag. Enthusiastic and clueless blanket endorsement of own voices as a concept is a red flag. Lots of talking about "fetishization" or even "appropriation" in a very online way is a massive red flag. Monetizing fanfic or seeing other pro authors as competition instead of peers is another. (Professional jealousy and fear about earning potential are behind a lot of bad behavior.)

A lot of it is down to whether you're willing to make yourself a target by publicly telling annoying people to fuck off.

If others can tell what you stand for, they can figure out if they want to hang out with you. Most people keep their heads down a lot of the time, so it can be hard to even hear of them, let alone know if they're your sort of person.

--

tl;dr – Be nice to nice men. Tell shitty men to take a hike. Making friends with men is really as simple as that.

There are larger issues here with what kinds of queer spaces exist and whom they prioritize and with toxic understandings of what representation even means and what should be demanded of whose art. But as you say, a lot of women are also promoting toxic-ass understandings of these things.

The bottom line is that we must resist social media clout-driven understandings of justice. The loudest assholes in the room are rarely worth listening to.

[cottoncandyopinions]

It's wild how on one side of my dash I see people talking about the real issues of transmasc erasure, "you're taking our lesbians away" terf rhetoric, and the ways that trans men are expected to accept ostracisation within leftist spaces without ever advocating for themselves...

Meanwhile on the other side, I see lots of "The MRA's are back, anyone that speaks about transmasc issues are transmisogynists, if you didn't immediately decide transandrophobia is an invalid concept then you're a bigot" type hysteria and it all just pisses me off.

Like trans men will spend their entire life til now perceived as women, expected to be quiet, expected to obey and be a resource to others without taking up too much space or having needs themselves. And upon realizing they're trans, finding their community, and thinking maybe this is a place they can find some modicum of comfort, the community says "no."

We don't want your voice or your struggles, because it doesn't fall in line with the rhetoric. It's not a part of the theory.

SJ theory generalizes, that's the nature of it. It's used to describe society as a whole, and how systemic oppressions operate. Broad academic theory isn't meant to for you to apply it precisely the same way to the individual.

That's what being intersectional is supposed to be about! You're not supposed to say "well systemically men are oppressors, so this man I just met is actively looking to oppress me" when you meet a homeless black man in a wheel chair.

I'm just so tired of the dynamic where in leftist spaces we can't share our stories and pain because they have to align with our ideas of who's the oppressor or not.

To this day, I feel terrified to open up about the fact that an older woman sexually assaulted me as a teen, because I'm so afraid someone will say I'm just targeting lesbians, or that my story promotes predatory stereotypes and shouldn't be shared. I can't talk about shit like that because I know that outside my closest friends, others in leftists spaces don't want to hear about that.

This is all over the place but I'm just so frustrated. Seeing people that have been boiling over, keeping their mouth shut, playing nice even when it's unfair to them, daring to open their mouths to speak all the while trying to be careful, only to still get attacked and made into bigots.

It's like there's no amount of bowing and saying your troubles are meaningless and insisting other people have it worse that will let you be "allowed" to talk about what hurts you.

We're supposed to be past one-upmanship and oppression olympics, it's not about who's had it worse it's about what we can fucking do about it TOGETHER.

And that means being able to drop your academic theory and shit to engage with the people in your community as fucking human beings. That means being able to seriously consider the validity of criticism instead of knee-jerk rejecting it.

Also please stop accusing literally anyone talking about intra-community bullying of talking over people being killed or shit like that, you know damn well that people are capable of caring about multiple issues

#Not long ago I had a bunch of hate anons on my side blog #Saw a trans guy in the replies to a post made by a trans woman express that he related and felt solidarity #He got dogpiled and bullied and cursed and even after all that he apologized and said he would try to do better #Not a single person even expressed kindness after the apology #So I decided to reply and just say that it's cool he wanted to express solidarity and people were being a bit cruel #Dear lord the hateful anons I got #I was tagged in an impromptu call out post calling me “an Aiden” and basically saying I'm peak transmisogyny #When I said I wasn't even a trans guy I was told I must be trying to bait because my gender isn't in my about on that account... #The most unbelievable thing to me is that when pressed further I admitted to being intersex #And that was treated as some kind of cop out #It was clear that wasn't the desired answer because it didn't tell them about my genitalia #Having a trans woman interrogate my identity and attempt to sus out my genitalia is something that only happens with supreme hypocrisy #It's insane right now #transadrophobia #trans community

[lift-heavy-be-gay]

Let's talk about transgender athletes

this is gonna be a long rant so I'm just gonna put a cut down below. dni if you're a terf or just wanna cause problems.

So, recently in class we were discussing different drugs used illegally and legally in sports and eventually the topic of transgender athletes came up (because of course). However, my professor handled it really well and as a trans athlete (pre transition), I just wanna talk about my feelings on the matter.

Keep in mind that this is my opinion, but I have been studying this in uni and may have more of an insight on how testosterone and estrogen actually affect the body. Anyway, there are two main points I wanna make.

As an afab athlete myself, I compete in a mostly strength based sport (though some technique and skill is necessary). However, I could not even begin to think about competing with my amab counterparts. It would put me at an unfair disadvantage and them an unfair advantage.

The first being that—depending on the time you began taking hormones/how long you've been taking hormones—you most likely won't be able to compete in high level competitions like the olympics. I know that people are going to be upset at this, but please listen. If you began taking hormones around the age you would begin puberty, then by the time you're an adult still presumably taking said hormones, then your levels would most likely be that of a cis person. However, if you're taking hormones after puberty, then the testosterone difference between amab and afab people is *staggering*. This article states that amab people generate 15x more testosterone than afab people. Even if they begin taking hrt, it takes YEARS to even begin to see a significant difference.

But

(and this leads to my second point)

There are numerous advantages and disadvantages for cis people in sports. Whether it be financial status, family history, access to training, facilities, or injury prevention/rehabilitation. If kid A is from a long line of well-off basketball players and has the resources to compete, then he definitely has an advantage over kid B who is from the middle of nowhere with no support and even worse facilities. Fact of the matter is, cis people are unevenly matched up against each other all the time. There are a hundred and one different ways that they may have an advantage or disadvantage over each other. Why is it different for transgender athletes? Scratch that. Why is it different between genders at all?

What I'm trying to say is that, I've met plenty afab people who are stronger than amab guys. I really don't think gender matters that much in a lot of sports. I believe we should start separating athletes based on weight rather than gender. (Of course, that's just my opinion.)

It's just that whenever I hear the topic about transgender athletes in sports, it's always about trans women. It's about how it's "not fair" and they are "doing it on purpose to get an easy win" and a bunch of other excuses to try and justify not letting them play. Surprisingly, I don't often (if at all) hear the same argument about trans men. On the surface, a lot of these debates about trans athletes is good ole' transphobia. But if you look deeper, it's really just misogyny. Most people don't even care about the sport, they just want another avenue to oppress a group of people.

Basically, the situation is not as black and white as most would like to believe, and there's a lot of nuance involved when trying to understand this topic. It's unfortunate that many trans athletes have to even deal with this extra bs in order to compete.

anyway, end of rant. thanks for reading if you made it this far. there's definitely more I could say on this, but these are the main points I wanted to make.

tldr: while there are inherent biological differences between amab and afab people, that doesn't excuse excluding trans athletes from being able to compete

#transgender athletes #trans women #trans men #sports #athletics #trans athletes #transphobia #misogyny #transgender #lgbtq #lgbtqia #lgbt #my post

[straightfromthetorturedpoetsdept]

So when are we going to talk about how the left failed white men, because I'm getting real sick and tired of seeing so many leftists pass the blame like the early 00s weren't a sick game of poor whites realizing something wasn't right in society, claiming to be oppressed as well, and then immediately being gaslit and shunned for daring to think they were being inconvenienced because X group has it sooo much worse.

Like, when you guys claim to not play oppression Olympics, does that apply to poor people as well? It's just weird to me how none of the left wants to actually discuss WHY so many white men have become neonazis, when we failed to educate them on the evils of capitalism and left them to fend for themselves.

Even now, with all these fucking neonazis on the rise, you would think we would be making more content focused on WHY these people were attracted by alt right ideology and HOW. Do you guys not care about preventing another trump?

It's just sad man.

#oppression under capitalism is still oppression

[nonbinarymoon]

Sigh... Here you guys go. An example of both transmisogyny and transandrophobia and general transphobia all at the same time.... Will this be the trans community's sign to stop fucking fighting about who's oppressed and who's not and who has it worse and what agab is better and whether gender roles have morality and whatever else? Probably not but I hope this gets everyone back on track for at least 2 minutes if not 1 minute. Also to the radfems in this community who dont believe transandrophobia exists, tell me that 🐂💩 again after you see that a majority of these comments are targeted towards trans men. Trans men are men. Any trans man can get pr3g as long as they still have a uterus and are fertile. As far as I know there's still no abortion clinic drive thrus and pro life people unfortunately still exist and also the world hasn't exploded into oblivion yet.

Im not saying trans men have it worse than trans women or that transmisogyny isn't a big deal ofc(as you can clearly see especially with the first pic, trans women got shat on as well and if you think transphobia is even a thing at all you'll know this isnt the first or the last time bigots are going to shit on trans women), but if shit like this isn't enough of a wake up call for the trans community to stop playing oppression olympics with each other, I don't know what will. Shit like this is a slap in the face to trans people in general. Especially straight and mspec trans people. It's sad. And it's even sadder that we as a community would rather spend more time fighting over nonsense than fight perisex cishet bigots, aka our real enemy, like this. Perisex cishet bigots will hate trans people and try everything they can to strip us of our freedom and our autonomy regardless of our identity. Wake up. Stop arguing about shit just to argue about shit. Enough said.

the comments are not much better trust me I only found 3 comments that even mentioned the existence of trans people and I had to do quite some digging in that comment section to find those.

This world is only in trouble because bigots spread hate, not because trans men and transmasc people exist.

We already know how it feels. Its not a pleasant feeling. But I'd rather deal with that than transphobes. I think cishets need the old switcheroo pulled on them and have trans people be the default so they know the pain they make us feel every day. Also, to imply that all trans women would break up with and abandon any transmasc person they happen to impregnate is just absolutely vile. Trans women are not disgusting and cruel monsters. Trans women can have compassion. Trans women are not whatever other bad stereotype about women or cis men there is. Trans women can love. Trans women are not inherently bad people for crying out loud. Also, trans men are not hopeless. Trans men are not unloveable. Trans men are not meant be seen as objects reduced to their reproductive system if they get pregnant. Heck, trans men and trans women should not inherently be enemies to one another. Trans men and trans women can love each other. Trans men and trans women can be happy together.

Again. Trans women are not monsters. They are not mindless sex havers. They are not sperm banks. They are not predators. A trans woman's brain is in their head, not their pants. Trans women are people. Trans women are not misogynistic cis men incels disguised as women in order to oppress afabs(i cant believe I have to say all of this). Also any trans man who has bottom surgery is not able to get pregnant. So no. Not all trans men would be doomed to have children. And not all trans women would be the reason for said childbearing. Trans people are more than their reproductive systems my goodness.

If you want birth control and others to be available than make them all free. Stop making people pay money for condoms and whatnot. Demolish capitalism.

Not ableism/sanism as well... also dehumanizing people who acknowledge trans peoples existence and stand up for us does not make this any better. Girls can and do have dicks. Boys can and do have vulvas. Dick ≠ man and vulva ≠ woman.

Again, no let's not switch the roles. Honestly the amount of transphobes advocating to see the roles be reversed is honestly very creepy and feels fetishizing to me. What is this obsession with seeing trans people in a relationship? Why exactly is it that you want to see a trans man be pregnant, even if it will possibly make their dysphoria and estrogen levels skyrocket? What if said trans man is on T? What if said trans man is at the point where there's so much testosterone in their body that having a baby might kill them or at least seriously hurt them? Why are you so excited to see at least two trans people procreate with each other??? Just what? Im sorry but even if a trans woman and a trans man decide to procreate together, why are you entitled to their business? Why do you find that funny? Why do you treat trans people having kids as something weird or unusual as opposed to treating cis men and cis women having kids as the norm? Trans people are not a fetish.

And tbh this world would be a lot better if transphobes didn't exist. Id much rather live in a world where trans women and trans men are treated as people deserving of love and acceptance instead of living in this world that is riddled with hate and bigotry?

Also, to address the last comment, trans men can get pregnant. Trans men are men. Therefore, men can get pregnant. However I have not seen this world get any less anti-abortion since learning that trans men exist. I do not see lots of ultra convenient abortion clinics anywhere. I still have yet to see a pro-abortion ad on a billboard for the first time. I have yet to see reproductive feminism become more inclusive to those who aren't fertile cishet perisex able bodied white women. Terfs and radfems have not disappeared yet. Where are those fetus-deleting atms you cis women feminists promised society once you discovered pregnant men are in fact real? Where are they? Explain yourselves and no a joke or venting is not an excuse to be transphobic, you know better so act like it.

#tw transphobia #tw swearing #tw ableist language #tw sanism #tw misogyny #tw misgendering #tw pregnancy #transunitism #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #trans #lgbt #queer #lgbtqia #activism #transgender #transmasc #trans fem #feminist #trans rights #transandrophobia #abortion #transmisogyny #trans men #trans women #amab #afab #my body my choice #feminism

[ufonaut]

Feeling isolated and confused about your sexuality is something that sucks for both lesbians and asexuals. I'm a lesbian ace and every time I've told another lesbian about it they've told me I'm repressed, which I'm only saying here because there's nuance to all of this which I feel like you're missing. Asexuality fucking sucks. I wish someone could fix me and make me 'just' a lesbian because at least then I wouldn't have people like you implying that I feel the need to tell everyone that I don't want sex or that by just saying that I'm ace that I'm also saying people who like sex are dirty. I've had sex with men and women who have wanted to fix me and it's made me feel like shit for not being fixed, as well as because sex is just not good for me.

But it's not even just about that. It's about how being asexual colours every aspect of your life and makes it even more difficult to fit into the spaces that are supposed to be for you, which, yeah, is also what it's like to be a lesbian. It's about feeling broken. You'd think it would be easier for you to have some fucking empathy when my experience runs next to yours but apparently not.

I'm not playing suffering Olympics. Sexual gay people absolutely have a worse time than asexuals in a lot of ways. But it doesn't mean we don't deserve understanding or that you get to belittle us or call us homophobic for being happy that we got one shitty story in a family friendly pride anthology.

Half the recent Connor Hawke tag is now you bullying tweens. Complain all you want and get angry about the racism and homophobia across the board in mainstream comics. Maybe just try to act like a human being while you do.

there's no point whatsoever where i've said asexual people think people who have sex are dirty by default: it's the story that says that, it's the people who come to me on here and say "i think wanting to have a conversation with someone you love and hang out with them is the most mature way to approach a relationship and only ace people get that" as if the rest of us don't have meaningful connections with our partners, it's the insistence on pretending gay people who experience sexual attraction are somehow the exact same as straight people who experience sexual attraction and bullshit terms like "allosexual" that have come out of that and the idea that gay people could possibly have the societal standing to systematically oppress anyone.

listen, you're coming from a place of pain. i don't feel confused or broken about being a lesbian, i've never pretended to be attracted to men, i've never felt any guilt about having lesbian sex -- my experience is not universal but neither is yours, you cannot possibly come on here and tell me that you identify as a lesbian yet you've had sex with men and expect me to look at that as anything other than self-harm. the idea that you can be 'fixed' is self-harm to begin with and that's got no real place in a conversation about representation at large and how homophobia affects other gay people beyond your own internalized sense of it.

look beyond your own pain and understand this: a story about a historically gaycoded character of colour, a character who is a buddhist monk and who has repeatedly stated he's uncomfortable with women specifically, suddenly being made asexual is an act of homophobia and racism through the simple fact that his history is being ignored, he's being infantilized and they're choosing to lean into stereotypes.

a story where a historically gaycoded character uses gender neutral pronouns to refer to a future romantic partner, thus implying the possibility of dating women, is an act of homophobia.

a story where the villain (inexplicably lauded by the creative team as the 'perfect villain for connor') is a character who had never before existed in comics and was created specifically for/famously played by a gay man (a very famously out gay man, neil patrick harris) and is effectively used here as a stand-in for gay people is an act of homophobia.

a story that uses music as a metaphor for sex and in which said gay villain is able to control people through music and then the brave asexual hero beats him up for it is an act of homophobia.

take a moment and think about the millions of villains that could've been used instead of music meister and then think about how this is legitimately harmful to gay people while you're at it.

as a side note, i don't see how the hell am i 'bullying tweens' when i've done nothing but reply to anons whose ages i can't possibly know and every single person in the connor hawke tag appears to be well into their twenties.

get well soon, this is a very sad little message you've written out here.

#asks #anon #connor hawke #hey why not!

[snekdood]

maybe it was actually a terf that started the whole “trans guys have the privilege of being a man” so that we couldn’t be ironically misogynistic shitty towards them without them realizing whatever we say doesn’t meaningfully impact them due to THEIR privilege

edit: naw actually they did it to divide us as a community

#mood #perhaps. the misogyny is wrong. #however. i feel that small hot cinders floating your way is probably less bad than being in the fire #and the ones in the fire btw are trans and/or women of color. not you #hardly you. #esp if you're rich too #definitely not you #you're like. about a couple inches below rich cis white men then #meanwhile everyone else is like at least 3 feet below you #anyways ik i gotta maybe reign in the misogyny even though its really really REALLY fun to use against terfs whomst are transphobic #towards me and want trans genocide in general- idk I GUESS i should reign it in.... really hard to see the reasons why i should want to tho #bc right now i'd never wanna be misogynistic like this to a non terf or a trans woman or anyone.... but with ya'll it's like. #i feel an urge to remind you what it feels like when you are oppressed and how you treat us that way and worse. #it's ironic bc you talk all the time about how oppressed you are and yet you seem to so easily forget what it's like #it's almost like thats not the point nor what you actually care about. #bc if you were in pain and you were being as massively oppressed as you claim to be then you would find it easier to sympathize with people #who are DIFFERENT from you but who have similar experiences to you while also respecting who they are #and not try to change them to be the way you see them. you'd want to see other people for who they see themselves as. not control them or #the narrative around them or lie about what they truly have experienced. you'd find it easier to sympathize w trans people #even if you didn't 'get' them. but you-- YOU play the oppression olympics game. you have declared yourself the one who gets to decide whos #trauma/oppression/etc is real. mostly so you can keep all the focus on yourself I assume. because i can't really think of any other reason #when trans people are literally just existing causing essentially no harm anywhere. minding our business. in our lanes. etc. #the only thing i can assume is that you're essentially a child whos upset that their sibling is getting attention when you're not

[transmisogyny-explained]

Okay, today we’re discussing some common ways which transmisogyny is understood and talked about within trans TME circles — ways that it’s misunderstood, misconceptions about TME privilege, and the phenomenon of “oppression olympics.”

“extremely unpopular opinion but people treating transmisogyny like the worst kind of oppression you can face is... bad actually”

This isn’t an unpopular opinion; I’ve seen this same idea spread around by TMEs, both cis and trans, but it’s especially prevalent with trans men. Transmisogynists often downplay the severity of transmisogyny in order to excuse their own transmisogyny. This is nothing new.

Being affected by transmisogyny necessarily means being additionally affected by both misogyny and transphobia separately. Meaning that, on a gender-based axis of oppression, those who are affected by misogyny and/or transphobia but not transmisogyny may share something in common with transfems, but they are still privileged over us by virtue of being transmisogyny-exempt. Transmisogyny is not “worse” than any other form of oppression, but because oppression is intersectional and accumulative, transfems being affected by all three axes of oppression means that anyone who is not a transfem necessarily holds some kind of privilege over us. The same way that cis people necessarily hold privilege over trans people, even if they’re oppressed in other ways.

Transfems do not believe that transmisogyny is the worst kind of oppression you can face. I don’t think it’s fair to say that any form of oppression is “the worst,” as it is all bad. However, again, transmisogyny is the culmination of several different axes of oppression interacting, meaning transfeminine people (transfems of color especially) are the most affected by — and cannot be privileged over TMEs in terms of — gender-based oppression. Transfems being vocal about this is not a bad thing.

“it’s definitely really bad! and i don’t think people *intend* to do this. but at the same time it feels like a lot of ‘TMA’ (transmisogyny affected) people take that fact and hold it above others’ heads like it’s worse than any other kind of oppression. and that’s not cool”

Bringing up the fact that TMEs like OP are privileged over us is not “holding it above others’ heads”; this implies that transfems are trying to guilt or force or possibly blackmail TMEs into doing something. What exactly? The only thing I can think of is acknowledging their privilege. TMEs don’t often think about the ways their actions might affect transfeminine people without us trying to insert ourselves into conversations about the oppression of women and trans people. Of course, we’re discouraged from and often punished for doing so because of the abuse we endure from transmisogynists in retaliation, which is why some transfems end up either going full assimilationist or full separationist, but that’s a topic for another day.

I also want to point out that the second sentence strongly implies that transfems are incompetent in understanding and discussing our own oppression. “We don’t intend to treat transmisogyny like it’s the worst kind of oppression, we’re just too stupid and only think about ourselves because we’re entitled males,” is that right?

Lastly, notice how “TMA” is in quotes. Those don’t need to be there unless OP is expressing skepticism towards the idea that TMA individuals (and therefore transmisogyny itself) even exist.

“playing oppression olympics of any kind isn’t okay to do, and honestly i’m kinda tired of seeing it. and this isn’t even getting into how people will weaponize the idea of privilege, whether it’s actually there or not, which is another thing that plays into oppression politics”

I haven’t talked about this directly on this blog yet (though I may have alluded to it before) but the concept of “oppression olympics,” like cancel culture, is yet another attempt by those in a position of privilege to excuse their own bigotry, avoid accountability, and dismiss the concerns of those whom they’re privileged over. Once again, transmisogynists often downplay the severity of transmisogyny in order to excuse their own transmisogyny. “Oppression olympics” is the idea that a person of one marginalized identity will claim to be “more oppressed” than a person of another marginalized identity in order to...do something. It’s never really clear what the intent of “playing oppression olympics” actually is, and that’s because the actual intent is always getting someone to acknowledge that they can be simultaneously oppressed for one identity and privileged by another, and to reconcile with the fact that their privilege informs their experiences, beliefs, and actions. The only people who are benefitted by the perpetuation of the idea that “oppression olympics” exists (and is bad) are people who are absolutely averse to being held accountable for the ways they’ve contributed to the oppression of another group. When a trans woman tells a trans man to “check his privilege,” she’s not saying that transphobia isn’t real, that he doesn’t experience oppression, or that transmisogynistic discrimination is worse than transphobic discrimination. She’s telling him to stop being transmisogynistic.

The phrase “weaponize the idea of privilege” is an...interesting one. The whole concept of privilege, or really the lack thereof, is that some people are denied certain basic rights while others given institutionalized power over them. Yes, some people do weaponize their own privilege — we call that oppression. But an oppressed person cannot levy a privileged person’s privilege against them. That’s...the opposite of what oppression means.

“to clarify, again: i’m not saying that transmisogyny ISN’T bad, or isn’t ‘that bad,’ or anything like that. i’m saying that treating it like it’s the absolute highest tier of oppression isn’t good. it’s like treating others’ trauma as if it’s not ‘as bad’ as yours. don’t do that!”

A more apt comparison would be like if there were two traumatized people and one of those traumatized people was continually triggering the other while insisting that the other is being ableist for asking them to stop because “we’re both equally traumatized.” Transfems and trans TMEs are both oppressed. Trans TMEs are still fully capable of being transmisogynistic.

“i really... hate how often we see takes like ‘trans men don’t know anything about trans women and can’t talk about their issues’ and ‘trans men have a [trans]misogyny’ problem as if there aren’t trans women who just [expletive] Hate Transmasc Guts for no damn reason”

I genuinely don’t know why a trans man would want to talk about our issues instead of just listening to us and boosting our voices. But, yes, if you’re TME then you cannot know what it’s like to be oppressed under transmisogyny, and you therefore are not an authority on the topic. Your opinions matter, but they should not be prioritized over the lived experiences of transfeminine people (which they often are because of transmisogyny).

“Trans men have a [trans]misogyny problem” and “Some transfems use transmisogyny as an excuse to be needlessly hateful and callous towards transmascs as a specific group” are two statements which can coexist. This is plainly whataboutism in order to dismiss the important discussion of misogyny within transmasc circles.

Conclusion:

Talking about transmisogyny is not “treating it like it’s the worst kind of oppression you can face.” Talking about transmisogyny is not erasing or downplaying the oppression of other trans people. Transfeminine people talking about transmisogyny is not speaking over TME trans people. The reason why TMEs are uncomfortable with talking about transmisogyny, the reason they work so hard to shut down and problematize discussions about transmisogyny, is because it forces them to acknowledge their privilege and the ways which they have (even unintentionally) harmed transfeminine people. Acknowledging your privilege should make you uncomfortable because you’re coming to terms with the fact that you have, in some ways, contributed to others’ suffering. What you should do with that discomfort is seek to change it by helping to dismantle the systems which have afforded you that privilege and uplifting those without; not closing your eyes and plugging your ears.

[Image ID: A banner of the pink trans woman flag with white text that reads, “I don’t want to see or be seen by transmisogynists” next to a green check mark /end ID]

#allyship #intracommunity #transfeminism #transmisogyny #anti transmisogyny

[jackoshadows]

It really pisses me off when I see justifications for Catelyn’s treatment of Jon Snow. Like just straight up abuse apologia.

Cat was not Jon’s mother, so it was not abuse.

Cat did not kill Jon like Cersei killed Robert’s bastards and so it was not abuse.

She did not have him beaten so not abuse

Jon was fed and clothed, so it was not abuse

Jon did not fear for his life like Theon, so it’s not abuse

Cat was not obligated to treat a little child with kindness and basic decency, so it’s not abuse.

Jon does not show any visible signs of trauma, so it’s not abuse

Making a child feel like he is should not eat their food, making him feel isolated and unwanted, never calling him by name, treating him different to his siblings - all not abuse, just Jon being oversensitive.

There is a difference between understanding why Catelyn acted that way towards Jon and justifying her actions towards him.

Was Catelyn a victim of Ned’s actions? Yes. Was Ned wrong in how he treated Catelyn? Yes. Does she have reasons to think her children’s right to Winterfell would be endangered by Jon Snow’s presence? Yes. Did Catelyn have reasons to be angry, frustrated, helpless and bitter about Jon? Yes. Was it an insult to Catelyn and house Tully that Ned brought up Jon at WF? Yes. Was it easier for Catelyn to take out her frustrations on Jon rather than Ned? Yes.

Is it okay and right for Catelyn to then take out those frustrations on a child? NO.

I can understand why she treated him that way. Catelyn is flawed and human. She was married to Ned Stark. She can’t divorce him, she can’t fight with him. To have love and stability in her marriage she has to go along with Ned’s decision and bring no animosity to the table.

So what does she do? She takes out her anger about that entire situation on a child. She transfers all that anger and negativity to Jon as a way to deal with this situation. Ned brings up Jon at Winterfell? It’s Jon’s fault. Jon looks like Ned? It’s Jon’s fault.

Was Catelyn particularly cruel to Jon? No. No one expects Catelyn to be a mother to Jon. But Jon was a child. An innocent baby. Of the three of them - Ned, Catelyn, Jon - he was the least responsible and had the least power to do anything. 

Imagine, as a child, one sees the rest of one’s siblings get love and affection and at the same time be ostracized and not even called by one’s name. Imagine being a child and looked at with hate and anger. Being begrudged one’s food.

He reached the landing and stood for a long moment, afraid. Ghost nuzzled at his hand. He took courage from that. He straightened, and entered the room.

He stood in the door for a moment, afraid to speak, afraid to come closer.

Part of him wanted only to flee, but he knew that if he did he might never see Bran again. He took a nervous step into the room. “Please,” he said.

Something cold moved in her eyes. “I told you to leave,” she said. “We don’t want you here.” Once that would have sent him running. Once that might even have made him cry.

He was at the door when she called out to him. “Jon,” she said. He should have kept going, but she had never called him by his name before. He turned to find her looking at his face, as if she were seeing it for the first time. “Yes?” he said. “It should have been you,” she told him.

“You Starks are hard to kill,” Jon agreed. His voice was flat and tired. The visit had taken al the strength from him. Robb knew something was wrong. “My mother... “ “She was... very kind,” Jon told him. Robb looked relieved.

Jon wondered how Lady Catelyn’s sister would feel about feeding Ned Stark’s bastard. As a boy, he often felt as if the lady grudged him every bite.

It was Lady Catelyn’s. With her deep blue eyes and hard cold mouth, she looked a bit like Stannis. Iron, he thought, but brittle. She was looking at him the way she used to look at him at Winterfell, whenever he had bested Robb at swords or sums or most anything. Who are you? that look had always seemed to say. This is not your place. Why are you here?

Imagine reading the above and thinking that Jon is being whiny and oversensitive because of his reaction to emotional abuse. That he should just ‘man up’ and not be bothered, to discount and undermine his narrative and experience because the smallfolk have it worse. Why then consider the experiences of any of the main characters in this series? They ALL have it better than the smallfolk.

What does it matter if Jon never feared for his life unlike Theon? Is that the line at which we define what abuse is? That a child must fear for his life for it to be abuse? What does it matter if Catelyn was not like Cersei and did not murder him? Is that where we draw the line? To have it really bad as a bastard, one must be murdered?

And it’s not like Jon does not blame Ned for his situation or that Ned is entirely exonerated in his eyes. His bastardy and Ned’s actions are what complicates his relationship with Ygritte.

Benjen Stark stood up. “More’s the pity.” He put a hand on Jon’s shoulder. “Come back to me after you’ve fathered a few bastards of your own, and we’ll see how you feel.” Jon trembled. “I will never father a bastard,” he said carefully. “Never!” He spat it out like venom.

And again, I have noticed that it’s only Jon’s pain at being a bastard that’s undermined again and again because he had it better than others.

Sansa had it better than Jeyne Poole because Sansa was a Stark and Jeyne was just a steward’s daughter. Jeyne was send to LF’s brothel, send to Ramsay Bolton, raped and tortured. Does it mean that the abuse Sansa suffered in KL does not count?  But it’s these same folks, who play the oppression olympics of how Sansa suffered the most of all the characters and hence deserves a fairy tale ending, writing essays about how Catelyn was totally justified in her treatment of Jon and it was really Cat who is the victim in that situation because she was ‘rightfully putting her children’s inheritance above the feelings of her husband’s bastard child’.

It’s easy to understand that Catelyn is a flawed and human character, who was as trapped in this situation as Ned and Jon, who had limited options on how to respond and at the same time acknowledge that she was wrong to ostracize, isolate and treat with cruel anger a little child, who was not responsible for the situation they found themselves in.

#Catelyn Stark #Jon Snow #Ned Stark #Fandom nonsense #I observe that it's always the Sansa stans who downplay the experiences and abuse of other character #It's all no big deal #Only Sansa suffered in the entire series #But this idea that Catelyn did no wrong is also pervasive in the wider fandom #For some reason when it comes to Catelyn there is a kneejerk reaction to defend justify and excuse abuse #Emotional abuse is still abuse #Especially when a little child is subjected to it #asoiaf

[nothorses]

I've never given that much value to the tme/tma thing. Like, ure tme/tma, u (don't) experience that specific type of oppression... ok..? It's v simple, it's a useful shorthand for talking about transmisogyny, that's it. It's not perfect but whatever. The problem is the attitude people seem to have. If someone is using it to exclude ppl, dismiss other group's issues, spread misinformation (wilfully or not), or play oppression olympics, then they're in the wrong no matter what phrase they use.

cont. And speaking of (non-transfem) intersex people, isn't the tma label literally there specifically for people like them to talk about the transmisogyny they face because transmisogyny is v much seen as just a transfem thing? How did we end up that they feel excluded? 

I couldn’t tell you the origin of the term, but given the circles it’s used in and the way folks use it, I don’t really buy that it’s “just about the oppression you experience”.

Like we can pretend all we want, but the fact of the matter is that the overwhelming majority of the people using the term are using it to mean “not transfem” or, specifically, “AFAB trans”. To them, the distinction is not “the type of oppression you experience”, it’s one’s body, identity, and oppression all rolled into one- as if those things are a package deal, as if you can assume the other two based on one. 

Imagine an AFAB transmasc person who is on T, with a deep voice and body hair, but who doesn’t bind or want top surgery. Imagine if that person wore dresses and feminine clothing, kept their hair long, etc. Given the relative invisibility of transmascs to transfems, they are going to be interpreted as transfem by the overwhelming majority of strangers- even by other trans people. And as a result, they are likely going to experience some transmisogyny.

Be honest here: do you think the majority of folks who use TME/TME terminology are going to be super cool with that person calling themselves TMA? And if they don’t “count” as TMA, despite literally being affected by transmisogyny, what’s the actual criteria?

Most folks will tell you that you only experience transmisogyny if you are Actually Transfem. All other experiences are “misdirected”; you’re not the intended target, or you don’t experience it “enough”, or you don’t internalize it, because your identity isn’t the right one for that.

At that point, we’re gatekeeping experiences of oppression. The intention might be to keep transmascs and AFAB trans people from calling themselves TMA (and I have problems with that as well), but the impact is that intersex people are going to be excluded and their experiences erased.

Look, I’m here for your definition of it, too- I think it could be nice if we had a quick, opt-in kind of way to explain the kinds of oppression we’re impacted by. But if we want to do that, we need to have a larger conversation about how oppression works.

It’s not something doled out exclusively to people who identify within the confines of that type of oppression. Other groups- lots and lots of them- are going to experience that kind of oppression as well. It might be in a lesser capacity, but it might also be just as bad, or even worse, than some or all of the folks who do identify that way. Especially with queer groups, where identities are fluid, and often interpreted based on subtle mannerisms- even rumors. Things that no individual has complete control over, things that can be interpreted as a certain kind of queer regardless of your identity. 

If we accept that conceivably anyone can be affected by transmisogyny, we have to accept that anyone calling themselves “TMA”, regardless of identity, deserves not to have that questioned. We have to let that go without picking their experiences apart and asking them to lay their trauma bare for strangers to pass judgement on. Unless we do that, we’re going to end up trying to create boundaries and draw lines, and those boundaries and lines are going to be tied to things like identity and body, and they are going to hurt intersex people as well as all sorts of other trans people.

If you honestly want these terms to work that way, awesome! I’m totally here for that. But let’s also be realistic about the kind of ideas they communicate now, and the ways they’re used now, and the people impacted by that.

#trans #transgender #transmasc #intersex #transmisogyny #tme #not horses #also I'm trying to stay away from like directly speaking to intersex experiences here because I truly do not have enough information from i #but I do want to point out the glaring flaws here #bluevii

[the-bjd-community-confess]

I’m the anon that posted the confession about not being eligible for disability and not being able to work. I think everyone pretty much missed the point of my confession entirely. There were two points I was trying to make. One was that even if something is a “luxury” you can still legitimately suffer for not being able to have things. Especially if you’re neurodivergent. Just because something isn’t a necessity, it doesn’t mean you don’t need it. You don’t “need” time to yourself, or to play/read/play music, because all you need to survive is to sleep and eat pretty much and to do those things you need to work. But you would probably go insane. Sometimes luxury items are that thing keeping you from going insane, or in my case, they drive you insane until you do something to stop thinking about them. If I hyperfixate on something, keeping me from it will cause severe anxiety and depression. Your quality of life goes down when you’re stuck with the bare minimum and it’s out of your control.

A lot of disabled people know this because disabled people are often affected by forced poverty, and when people basically tell you to “suck it up” or “work harder” when you’re literally doing everything you can it makes you feel like you’re not human or worth anything. (Also, side note: fuck you if you’re also disabled but you look down on other disabled people because you “pushed through” and you are able to have and do everything you want because you “work for it”. Other people are not just babies who aren’t trying. Not everyone’s situation is the same and it’s super ableist to act like other disabled people are just looking for handouts and sympathy because you were able to achieve what they couldn’t despite your own disability.)

The other point I was making was that people need to be more understanding of other people in general. It wasn’t some prorecast justification (though that seems to be all you people took from it). I’m not pro-recast, I don’t own any recasts. The two dolls I mentioned are ResinSoul dolls which are nice but not what I really wanted though I do love them and it still depresses me to know that I won’t ever be able to afford the dolls I want even secondhand. I wasn’t justifying recasts or purchasing them. I was JUST SAYING that when people say that they wish they could get a recast (or they want one but they can’t do it because it’s wrong or they’re unsure ) or they complain about how everyone jacks prices way up second hand so that only super rich people can get dolls, or they’re just complaining that companies prices are just so high there are reasons why they might not be able to just “save up” or move on and telling people that they should do that or settle on a doll they don’t even want is shitty.

I’m not excusing people who buy recasts, I’m just saying that you could take a second and put yourself in someone else’s shoes and see why it’s a struggle for them, or that it’s valid that your life really is worse when you can’t ever have what you really want. Also, I thought I was clear, but obviously I wasn’t: it would take me several years to save up for ONE doll. No wig, no clothes, no eyes, nothing else. And the only way to expedite that process is by not buying clothing, paying bills, or buying any item that I need that isn’t food. I don’t eat out, I don’t go to the movies, and I don’t shop for random stuff I don’t need. Some people just don’t have money and cannot get a job at all or for a long period of time. I don’t know why you don’t understand that. And no, I can’t just “try harder” to get disability aid. I. Don’t. Qualify. In the eyes of the government I am not disabled and even if I had a visible disability, living with my family would likely disqualify me.

I don’t know where you get off acting like you know more about my life than I do, it only goes more to prove my point of just checking your privilege. I, too, have judged other disabled people until I realized that not everyone has the same disability or circumstances. So just remember that everyone has different circumstances and we’re not playing “oppression olympics” or whatever that even means. People deserve to be believed when they tell you they can’t do something or don’t have access to something.

~Anonymous

#BJD #ABJD #BJD Confessions #TrueBJDCounterfeits #Health #Finances

[hiriajuu-suffering]

Anime Hot Take: Goblin Slayer is more offensive than Redo of Healer

I totally understand why the anime community is collectively freaking about Redo of Healer not getting cancelled by normies like Shield Hero, Ishuzoku Reviewers, and Uzaki-chan. A lot of anime content creators are saying because anime [social] cancellation is based on clout chasing and it’s because Redo of Healer is a bad anime, and I disagree completely because Uzaki-chan is also a bad anime. As excessively raunchy Redo of Healer is, its offensiveness has more narrative backing than Goblin Slayer does for its world-building.

Elephant in the room: depictions of rape are poor artistic choices when the physical act is shown instead of heavily implied for the narrative. Both Goblin Slayer and Redo of Healer depict rape onscreen to get more attention for being edgy and raunchy, needlessly. People finding Shield Hero more offensive for involving a false rape allegation are missing the forest for the trees and there is no rape in Ishuzoku Reviewers. Goblin Slayer uses its rape scenes to objectify people we’re supposed to see from the perspective of, very clearly. Meaning, Goblin Slayer is asking for a self-objectification in order for you to be invested in the main casts’ goals. The effect of this is Goblin Slayer is really only showing these gratuitous rape scene(s) for shock value. Goblin Slayer is a Fantasy, not specifically an Isekai Revenge Fantasy like Redo of Healer is. Redo of Healer uses its rape scenes to subjectify people we’re supposed to see from the perspective of, making it fundamentally different and more aligned with Game of Thrones depictions of rape than Redo of Healer. In episode 1 of Redo of Healer, the main character is subjectified, not objectified. In episode 1 of Goblin Slayer, the rape scene objectifies the woman. The only other conclusion hyperfeminism could have to this incongruity is media that portrays sexual violence is more acceptable when male sexual violence is on the forefront, which is fucked. In episode 2 of Redo of Healer, the first antagonist is a female and the rape scene itself is sick and cruel, but not gratuitous in the way Goblin Slayer handles its rape scenes. Again, the character is subjectified and not objectified, which makes a lot of difference if media makes the morally abhorrent but logical choice to depict rape for views because it works. Redo of Healer already starts on better footing than Goblin Slayer because a central theme in Goblin Slayer is the objectification of life and experience while Redo of Healer works in that same theme with the subjectification of people’s lives and experiences.

Redo of Healer is ultimately a power fantasy like most other Isekai are, Goblin Slayer is intended to make you feel powerless. There is some subtlety in the way the author puts forward the narrative of “power makes people bad” in Redo of Healer, while the narrative choices in Goblin Slayer directly portray the message of “no matter how much power you have, you cannot affect the world”. Both are a criticism of power fantasy, but Redo of Healer is actually within its genre doing so, not looking from the outside-in and acting above the genre itself when it has taken over the anime industry. The plot structure in Goblin Slayer reads as if it’s better than the Isekai trend, making itself pretentious and thereby worse than the trend because it’s just mocking something popular because it’s popular. Redo of Healer actually looks into why this popularity exists and if it’s legitimately warranted or just feeding the vanity of its readers. In the first two episodes, the narrative has all this suffering going on written in a way so the reader actively disconnects from the normally self-insert protagonist in an Isekai. Goblin Slayer literally does the opposite with Priestess. The self-insert scenes in Redo of Healer are actually the opposite because they structure themselves in that way but do the opposite, you don’t want to be in any of those situations. When you weigh moral wrongs and aren’t afraid of playing the oppression Olympics for the sake of philosophical conjecture, Keyaru is enacting retribution in a manner reciprocally efficient or less compared to what he endured. You can see that via his intended final act of retribution of Flare being to make her his consensual sex object rather than everyone’s nonconsensual sex object as he originally was. The finger-breaking was his exchange for the deception, involuntary servitude, and general lack of empathy; regrettably, the sexual assault with bodily harmful object was for the forced drug addiction via symbolism analysis. He ends up healing all this anyway and not being overwhelmed by it, meaning everything he did was a small fraction of what had been done to him. It’s still revenge, but it’s nothing nearly as crazy as what was done to him and actually didn’t drag out as much as people say compared to goblin rape scenes in Goblin Slayer (some of them which didn’t need to exist narratively and were only there because author is insulting your intelligence, assuming you forgot it’s a thing because it assumes you’re an Isekai reader). Fair warning about Blade and Bullet though is they represent very real tropes on the social spectrum, Blade representing hyperfeminist ideologies to the point of outright misandry and Bullet representing men who degrade themselves just for being men, so a lot more people will have something to be butthurt about when that narrative realization comes to pass. Part of the way Redo of Healer compartmentalizes its characters into said tropes speaks to a larger picture of what the show intends to do, criticize the Isekai genre and its tropes instead of just mocking them like Goblin Slayer does.

The narrative structure of Redo of Healer reads like a hate letter to Isekai power fantasy writing, the narrative structure of Goblin Slayer reads like a roast to Isekai power fantasy writing. Hate letters are generally more honest and genuine than roasts, which sacrifice truth for the sake of being comedic. Goblin Slayer itself wasn’t even that funny though, it had moments but its humor was so self-contained, it only existed if you already were self-involved enough in the tropes, in which you were the one being roasted. Effectively, Goblin Slayer seeks to roast you with no audience, making the roast itself kind of pointless and belittling. Redo of Healer though criticizes Isekai writing on two fronts: the morality of the world (which Shield Hero already did pretty masterfully) and the reasonable scope of a self-insert protagonist. Living in a morally dark Isekai world that’s full of hell and suffering is something Rising of the Shield Hero did so well, it would be difficult to see it done better, but Redo of Healer follows the exact narrative thread Shield Hero does only in a far more sinister way. The difference is Redo of Healer takes the grinding element from Cautious Hero and totally removes the opportunity for it to be had and the end result is said self-insert Isekai protagonist being abused in the party instead of valued, it actually makes sense on a power scaling level if you place it in a world where the characterization of all humanity is made out to be shitty from the start (slave trading demi-humans, raping other people for mana, rulers with no actual empathy or morality, etc.). Redo of Healer’s setting emulates humanity from Chapter Black in Yu Yu Hakusho. In simpler terms, if any of these dudes popularizing Isekai self-inserts into Keyaru, they’re not overpowered for no reason like in other Isekais, they’re overpowered because they were already humbled to the extent where nothing could ever feel like redemption. Most of these people self-inserting probably aren’t as great as they think they are, but especially on the moral scale. Keyaru represents a broken version of that self-insert: a human that is fallible, can feel real negative emotions and act abhorrently on them, and isn’t overly resilient for plot convenience’s sake. Keyaru’s immensely busted skill comes at a heavy toll, meaning it was balanced but he broke it (like Maple did in Bofuri) because he was driven to madness. If you break the “overpowered for no reason” trope in both harem and Isekai, you ARE a criticism of both. Are there good anime that use this trope well? Slime is an example. But Kadokawa specifically has been tending to favor titles that are criticisms of Isekai rather than straight-up Isekais themselves, making this something they were willing to push to the forefront even though it borrows a little too much from hentai plots. If anything, Redo of Healer shows how frustrated the industry, from writer to publisher, has been with the Japanese otaku community when poorly written, power fantasy, self-insert shows like Sword Art Online become the face of otaku culture and starts a predatory profit-seeking trend of everything has to be Isekai for it to make money. Redo of Healer reaches for a larger criticism of why anime storytelling has gotten less substantive in the past decade and plunges its hands into the depths of the filth and degeneracy that’s being promoted. It’s a meta-criticism to make what you’re putting out there so horrific it becomes nearly impossible to connect with.

Do I like Redo of Healer? No, absolutely not. Do I think it sends a loud and clear message to viewers who know how to analyze a piece of fiction with good depth and nuance? Yes. Goblin Slayer does not do that, Goblin Slayer itself is just an amusement park ride you’re supposed to enjoy, but they jolt you with shock value to get you invested, making its plot threads and themes gimmicky at best. Redo of Healer actually does what Goblin Slayer was going for in shock value and makes you so numb to it you actually realize how devolved Isekai storytelling is, adding its attention grabbing mechanism as short hentai clips like Ishuzoku Reviewers did. As for why Shield Hero was mentioned so much, it’s because the characterization of Blade specifically goes after those who were trying to get Shield Hero cancelled for its narrative thread. Blade is the worst representation of that, worship and veneration of femininity in a patriarchal context which ultimately results in the worship of power and existing power structures which promote said power to the point where queerness (in love of femininity) somehow excuses deplorability since postmodern queerness never actively promotes masculinity as something that can function as socially just. Flare, Blade, and Bullet all show more toxic masculinity individually in the first 3 chapters/episodes than Keyaru, and that was a deliberate writing choice. The reason why Redo of Healer isn’t actively being socially cancelled is because its biggest statement is “people are shit” and that’s an okay statement for normies.

Normies are coming after Nagatoro because it normalizes and almost makes light of real bullying. I think us weeaboos need to understand that bullying is a higher impact problem than rape being depicted in media if we’re fighting on the hill of “violent video games don’t encourage violence”. I find Nagatoro more difficult to understand the narrative intent of than Redo of Healer, the fact the weeaboo community is disconnected from that means we’re only looking at things on the surface level and are too within ourselves to know what real world problems actually have ripple effects on human behavior. The reason why we accept Nagatoro is because we know the two main characters eventually become involved and Hachioji could handle it to the point he consented to it. In pretty much all scenarios you have a mean girl bullying someone, regardless of gender, that’s not what happens: the person is left scarred, changed, and with significant platonic trust issues into adulthood. Rape is an issue that’s handled with so little care because of patriarchy and power struggles, people are generally far more numb to it than seeing actual mental and verbal abuse just being glossed over because “he’s a guy, he’s less of one if he can’t handle it”. Anime generally is going the way of Scum’s Wish where there’s more morally abhorrent characterizations of humanity than morally neutral ones, and all of these anime that stir controversy is a reflection of said fact. Having said that, Redo of Healer is willing to go way farther down into the abyss instead of just looking at it from the edge of the hole like Goblin Slayer does, then seeing scenes for shock value when you use telescope to look. For the reason Goblin Slayer thinks it’s above an Isekai while commodifying abhorrence to draw attention, I actually find Redo of Healer to be less offensive.

#Anime #Manga #Goblin Slayer #Redo of Healer #Rising of the Shield Hero #Ishuzoku Reviewers #Interspecies Reviewers #getting cancelled #offensive #rape #objectification #hyperfeminism #shock value #subjectification #power fantasy #Isekai #power dynamics #power scaling #morality #self-insert #chapter black #Yu Yu Hakusho #overpowered #that time i got reincarnated as a slime #otaku #Sword Art Online #don't toy with me miss nagatoro #weeaboo #bullying #Scum's Wish

[aberrate]

Re: transandrophobia. Cis men are not oppressed for being men, but trans men are. This is not a contradiction, b/c our experiences are different. To put it briefly: I am trans *because* I am a man. My transness is hinged on the fact that I ID as a man. My transness and manhood cannot be separated. I experience transphobia BECAUSE I am a man. And I experience a unique type of transphobia because of that fact. This does not mean men as a class are oppressed, but it does mean that trans men / other transmasc people, as a class, experience a unique type of discrimination. We deserve to have a word for that, and space to talk about it. This does not harm anybody else, and it's not us trying to play oppression Olympics. I face a unique type of medical discrimination that is specifically based around the fact that I am medically transitioning as someone with a uterus, for example. Doctors treat me worse for taking T and not wanting to get pregnant before having a hysterectomy, and try to stop me from getting one, encourage me to stop taking T to have babies, etc. This is transandrophobia as it is unique to our experience. Whom does it harm for me to have a word to describe that?

wow this is some intensely bad logic. since trans men and cis men have being men in common with each other, if transness is not the aspect which causes you to be oppressed, what IS causing the difference in experience between you and cis men? why are you here talking how oppressed you are instead of proudly telling me you're not oppressed at all just like cis men?

let's break down your examples of oppression

• saying you are oppressed as someone with a uterus which of course all trans masc people have, and of course sure doesn't smell like t.erf dogshit to me /s

• doctors treating you worse for being on HRT. this is inherently to do with your being trans. also, it can and does happen to any/all trans people who want to/are on hormones, making this a universal TRANS experience and not one reserved for trans masc people

• encourage you to stop taking HRT for reproductive reasons. surprise: also happens to trans feminine people! a trans experience not relegated to being trans masc specifically.

• doctor tries to stop you from getting a hysto, thinks it's weird you don't want to have children. amazingly, also not specific to trans masc people, something common for cis women as well as intersex women to experience. the root? the idea that cis women are property whose sole purpose in life is to bear children for cis men. just because you are not a cis woman doesn't mean your doctor doesn't treat you or view you as one which is...say it with me...transphobia.

you have cited three examples of general transphobia and one example of misogyny. none of these are unique to being a trans man. now if you read what i actually wrote, then you'd be aware that i directly stated that uniqueness of an experience isn't why oppression based terms exist. in fact i gave 2 examples of this. the existence of terms used to describe oppression exists to be able to have a language to talk about oppression that has no current language. you HAVE a language to describe your experiences, you just want to be special. because for some goddamn reason noone can talk about their own experiences (in this case trans fems talking about transmisogyny) without people acting like spoiled entitled assholes who think they "deserve" the spotlight too. as if the spotlight is even a good thing. and you want to know why i can firmly say that about you? because i never said oppression olympics. i never even insinuated it. but YOU said it because you instantly saw the post and decided to compare yourself to trans feminine people which is a you problem

#'we deserve it' lmfao imagine thinking you deserve anything in this hellscape we call a society #i wish people talked more about racism within the lgbt community and the intersection of being brown/black and lgbt #but instead i got nerds up my ass thinking they DESERVE a word #ask #anonymous