#even though it very obviously isnt and it would make more sense to label it as a normal sonic au or oc. idk | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

forlorn-crows · 6 months

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Oh boy maybe it’s the fever making me brave but here we go! Cumulus!! Everyone characterizes her as super fem, very soft, care-giver type, very maternal. And I think it’s her shape. As someone with the same body type, I’m not that at all. I feel like she’s more the type to enjoy the finer things in life, be waited on hand and foot, step on someone’s balls if she feels like it. And if someone tried to latch on to her like they were nursing???? Annihilated. (I’m sorry I respect everyone elses’s HCs I swear please do not yell at me) I think she expects those around her to act like an adult and I am sure she is of course willing to be supportive, a shoulder to cry on etc like a normal friend. But NOT LIKE YOUR MOMMY. And expecting her to act like that while you’re fucking? No. NO! (Again I respect everyone’s opinions I’m sorry!)

i swore i saved all the cumulus specific ones to add to this one but alas, i guess i answered them all already lmao.

anyway. i think your ask is a perfect example of something i said earlier about trans ghouls, where one person's experience might lend them to liking something more than the other. and i hope the following things im gonna say a) make sense (lmao) but b) show a little bit of a different perspective or idea about this topic.

firstly, yes. it is absolutely true that cumulus has been deemed the 'mom' of the group. and i absolutely know that part of it probably does stem from internalized fatphobia, as well as societal stereotypes about fat women. that in order for them to be likeable they have to fit the traditional idea of femininity, to be maternal, to be 'done-up' and pretty and presentable at all times. that their worth is based on their ability to care for others. and thats fucking bullshit, and something i obviously, as a fat woman, dont condone.

on the other hand, the way i see cumulus, to most people, probably fits that mom friend type. and i can absolutely understand how you and others see that and go 'i look like her and im tired of being represented as such'. which is so fucking valid. but i cant deny that part of me projects that mom friend type of myself onto cumulus specifically because i look most like her. she's sweet. she's caring. shes supportive and loyal to her friends. she's got a beautiful, round, soft body that i wanna snuggle up to. and i know thats surface level shit. but i feel like i see her and she's just warm and kind.

but you know what? she's also a bit loud. likes to tease. DESERVES to be treated like the princess that she is. she's goofy. maybe shes clumsy. she gets crazy fuckin bedhead and has to spend so long untangling it. and i bet she serves a real sexy aloofness if you get her in the right mood. to me she's that mom friend trope. but thats not all she is, just as thats not all i am. and not at all how you would see yourself.

like i mentioned a little bit ago, i dont think there's anything wrong with having a character have a little bit of stereotype in them. but it does have to be balanced out. shes not JUST the mom friend. and something too that i do agree with you is, while i might label her that, she's not the pack's mother. she isnt their caretaker. they arent her children. i dont think they would treat her as such or assume that of her, if that makes sense. and yeah, totally understandable about the mommy during sex thing, or the nursing or whatever. a lot of that is more kink territory too, so if its not for you, then its not for you!

if anything, i always imagine aether to be running around making sure everyones got their shit together (even though we know he doesnt). and absolutely no ones forcing him to wear that damn frilly apron he always seems to be wearing in the kitchen . . . hmm . . .

but! i also see sunny as more of that warm, caregiving type personality too. as well as a boundless thing of energy. i def dont want cumulus to be pigeonholed into the 'mom' of the group either. but i still have certain ideas about how she is that could be labeled as such. you and everyone else is right that that's not all she is.

we just have to write her more. dig into her character. put her into those situations we want to see and that also challenge those two dimensional aspects of her trope character

i know that i push a little bit against that dislike of the mom thing. i dunno. but she's our lus and i love her very much, and would really like to see her more in the artwork & writing space <3

#obviously the 'you' is almost always the generalized you in this context lol #but i hope you get what i mean!#ask #midnight-moth #i fully acknowledge i project a lot of myself onto her hahaha #but shes got many other things about her

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single-malt-scotch · 8 months

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i'm in agreement with what you've put on your blog about hermitcraft not being an rp server- it just isn't and i'm kind of sick of new age mcyt fans treating it as such. i am curious though about where you draw the line (or even if you do draw a line) between rpf and "character" fanfiction. as you've mentioned, fans are the ones taking the improv bits in videos, creating their own "lore" out of it, and shipping those characters together. obviously, the lore characters are very much linked to their youtuber counterparts, but it's not like most hermitshippers want the real life grown men and women to kiss each other or even are referring to the actual flesh and blood youtubers in their fanmedia (the term cubito from spanish mcyt/qsmp folks comes to mind). do you personally consider this to be rpf?

the rpf topic in this situation is veryyyy hard to make a conclusive answer on and the one i make is one i think people shouldnt take as fact, everyone can decide personally what it means for them. my constant mindset, due to the subjective thoughts, just ends up being "is it rpf? maybe. i dont know. i dont care anymore" but i can explain more of what i really do think

considering i came from 2011~ minecraft youtube there was no concept of "characters" for youtubers outside of blatant series like... shadow of israphel and a bit later, lords of minecraft. there was nothing comparable to what we have today in terms of roleplay. they were still The Person just in minecraft and many of us back then, myself included, called it rpf. and we even wrote fics outside of the minecraft settings-- we wrote stuff in the real world, but it all just looked the same to us because we did not have any separation between a person and a character made out of them. it was the youtuber to me, whether or not i throw them into a lore heavy high fantasy AU (which i did lol), it did not come off any different to me than the fics written about them chilling at minecon.

i took a number of years away from this fandom and so the change like... oof it was a lot to understand. it confused me a lot (still does), i did not at all get this idea of separating them into their own character. the thing is, the extent to which people do so is again, subjective.... but for the most part the point nowadays is to say its not the Real Person at all anymore, even if the difference is only that there is absolutely no mention of the outside world and it is often heavily enforced to remember it is Not the real guy.

and thats where it just gets complicated. whenever i write i always generally imply its a game. and if its not a game i still think of it as guys playing a game. they are behind a screen and i may even reference the real world. so for me? yeah, its in the vein of rpf if we're looking at it that way. people who create a fictional realm with the guys made into characters that fit into this crafted world, well i guess its not... or is it?

the whole topic of saying hc isnt roleplay isnt to scare everyone into realizing they were writing rpf the whole time. but kinda to say- one stop being afraid of the label rpf. and two honestly i define "rpf" fandoms as a fandom built around real people. mcyt is built around real people. no matter how much you do make a character out of the youtuber its still in many regards.... the youtuber.

so yeah this isnt a conclusive answer some may want. short: it is always rpf because i define rpf as being a fandom based around real people. when it comes down to specific content (headcanons, fics, art) its totally fine and makes sense to not consider it that individually but in an overall sense i would categorize it as such because i also grew from an mcyt fandoms who saw it that way

#Anonymous

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btsandvmin · 3 years

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why do u think fandom brozone vmin so much? it doesnt happen nearly as often w other ships

I have talked about this a great deal before, and for good reason. It does happen a lot, and it has always been like this. At least I can speak for the years I have been in the fandom as the first post I ever made properly was about this exact topic. (The “bromance” issue) It’s short and a bit outdated, and honestly we also have to admit that while a lot of people still keep insisting on Vmin not being shippable and being “brozoned or friendzoned” there are also a lot more people who both ship Vmin and even see actual real potential in them being more. (You can even tell by the increase in analysis here on tumblr.)

Personally regarding the “issue” of how Vmin are viewed I am no longer as annoyed with it as I used to be. I do think it’s mainly a problem when other shippers come and say it about Vmin, because that is frankly just hypocritical. I have also written Normalizing Vmin or “Vmin” and Shipping vs Believing that explains more about my views on the subject of friendzoning and shipping as a whole. (Personally I feel Vmin get more friendzoned than brozoned, but that’s just a minor detail.)

But your question was about why you think the fandom brozone/friendzone Vmin so much, so let’s get to that.

First of all I obviously think there are several reasons, but this is all based on my speculations after being in this fandom for so long and what I have seen. Every person could have their own very different reasons to why they think the way they do. I think all the reasons play a part, but might not be equally important and might also not apply to every single person, but rather affect the fandom as a whole in one way or another.

So let’s break it down to the things I think play the biggest role in why Vmin are seen as platonic, regardless of if they are or not, just simply compared to a lot of the other ships.

1. They have since the start used the label “friend” or “best friend” to describe each other. In particular the label “chingu” of course, which in actuality is used to described someone of the same age that you are close with.

2. The English translation and constant use of “friend” will when repeated constantly get stuck in people’s minds and affect how they view a dynamic. Just how “hyung” gets translated to brother, but a lot less well known and noted by the fandom. Basically the western fandom will likely get even more platonic feelings towards Vmin because of the word being translated to friends.

3. Compared to the other “chingus” in the group, Namjoon and Hobi, there is much more emphasis on Vmin as the same age and as being close and best friends. Namjoon himself made a comment on this. I also think the use of “friends” or more recently “soulmates” by editors is a reply to this, basically that the editors too use these words because they are used a lot by the members first. Hence it gets doubly reinforced. Every time we hear it or read it we get another reminder of Vmin being friends.

4. Their early dymanics were less soft. A lot of their interactions were teasing like Taehyung’s “Jiminie pabo” and fans saw it as two siblings or friends rather than as the “teasing your crush”. Basically people didn't read their behavior as romantic. When BTS first started Vmin already called each other best friends, and that stuck, even more so in combination with people basically not seeing any "spark" between them. I would call this preference in a lot of cases.

5. There were in the beginning already a lot of competition between ships. Jimin often focused in a lot on JK and basically flirted with him while he at the same time brushed off Tae when he did similar towards Jimin. Meanwhile Tae and JK had a very physical relationship as well and JK often seemed the most open and comfortable with Tae. I think both of Vmin kind of pushing themselves on and teasing JK was a dynamic many shippers like. Meanwhile you aslo had Yoonmin getting popular due to Yoongi seeming a bit soft on Jimin and Jimin being very open and loud with wanting attention from Yoongi.

6. Some people find Vmin's dynamics boring. To a lot of shippers “too” obvious closeness might be a little boring and get labeled as just being friends or bros. This was in particular evident in the early days of Vmin. It also matters for fan content, and we can see a lot of Vmin fiction use a bit more “soft” tropes and might not get as many readers as more conflict driven plot. For me I would also include Vmin’s bias towards each other as another point here, that people might see as too much if they are a couple and have to hide. Basically a lot of people don’t see friendship to romance as the most interesting, or the "obvious and equal dynamic" as interesting. BTS said Vmin were the closest or the “best duo” etc. but since all of them were close people picked based on preference for their ship. Of course this still applies to shippers now, they fall for the type of dynamic they like, but now they also have a easier time getting convinced by material from other shippers. Having analysis is another thing that can make a ship more appealing as well.

7. Speaking of, fan content getting created and spread will reinforce certain images. Reading BTS fanfiction or watching moment videos you will see a lot of Vmin being “the best friends”. Basically once the image is used a lot, it will get more spread and used even more. It will be a constant in many places and when talking to a lot of people. It will also of course pull people in to other ships that makes Vmin impossible. Not to mention the big ships will get bigger and spread more easily.

8. Now this might not be true for a lot of people. But I have come across a lot of fans who seem to think being a friend is something that makes romance less likely. For me I want my partner to be my best friend as well, but a lot of people do see these two things as mutually exclusive. Many see friend and lover as two very different things and that you have one best friend and one partner, not someone that are both. Basically just the view on friendships and labels and how that might lead to some feeling being romantically involved is something separate from a close friendship.

9. Other ships spreading the narrative even further. It’s easier to just call Vmin friends, honestly. It’s often hard to deny their closeness (not that you should have to just because you ship something else, doesn’t change reality). But Vmin being so close and being part of the three biggest ships in BTS of course their label as best friends will be spread and used even more by those shippers. And because of the size of those ships it eventually gets turned into not just those shippers views, but the whole fandom’s.

10. More recently I would also say fear is a reason why people push back and try to remind the fandom that Vmin are “just friends”. Because we have very bad examples of what happens when shipping goes too far, basically it makes many non shippers try to protect Vmin from the same faith. Not a bad thing (again, as long as you don’t ship something else and is a hypocrite), but it surely does further the narrative of Vmin being very platonic. (A bad group is of course included here, which are homophobic fans, but since they feel the same about all ships it’s just a sidenote.)

11. Lastly, and probably most influentual, is the fact that Vmin and BTS friendzone Vmin in many ways, constantly.

I won’t go into all the examples, but I think we all know a few moments even at the top of our heads by now.

I mean.... They called their song about being soulmates and wanting to be together for eternity "Friends". And maybe that's what they are, but they sure like to remind us.

So we have times when BTS or Vmin basically remind us and spells it out even more clearly that Vmin are FRIENDS. They use it very very often, and personally to me sometimes at very weird moments. Even so, the things most fans see will of course be what they say. Vmin are friends and that is it.

And at face value that is true. I just personally don’t see being best friends (and soulmates) as meaning they can’t be more as well. Especially since they wouldn’t even be able to say more than that. I mean, if Vmin are basically described as the closest in BTS, then why does that mean they have less odds of being real? Being friends doesn’t have to equal being only friends.

However, Vmin have in fact said things against being interested/denied the other, I don’t want to lie. I am sure some would see this as 100% truth and use it againt the possibility of Vmin being real. Like when Taehyung basically said he would rather date Hobi.

However, Jimin said he would definitely choose Taehyung to date, but that gets ignored by people who ship Jimin with others, so it’s really just about choosing what fits your narrative. All ships have contradicting moments or statments or answers where they answer two different things at two different times in general.

We also have how Jimin answered back to Taehyung about liking men by saying he isnt “like that” to Taehyung.

There are moments like this, and even though they might be small and forgotten by most I think they could in a sense still have registered in some fans who then basically managed to spreak the “vmin are just bros/friends” into the more common perception.

However we also have opposite moments when they try to appeal to each other, or like when Taehyung asks Jimin to be the girlfriend etc. and personally though I do take these things into account it’s a bit like when you see members say “men can’t do this or that” and it doesn’t necessarily mean they can’t be queer. To me even though there are things against most ships, there are still a lot that speaks for some, and that’s why I remain unsure.

Sometimes you might get more defensive or nervous if there is some truth in there as well. It’s all about interpretation, even though I don’t want to blatantly ignore what they say. But since they have said and done directly contradicting things (like how Jimin said he would choose to date Tae while also saying he doesn’t act like “that” to Tae, or how they have changed a lot of answers in general) I also don’t see it as something definitely against them being more. Not to mention time can change things as well.

In the end though this isn’t about what other things there might be that show Vmin might be more than friends or not, but simply reasons for the fandom’s view of them as platonic. (Personally I think they do a lot of things not normally seen as platonic, which is obviously the reason for me having this blog and writing anlysis on them.)

So, Vmin is friendzoned by the group, and by shippers of bigger ships, and even by themselves at times. Then everything else is reinforcement and inability to view them as anything more than friends.

There are some other things I think might play a part in it as well, but most comes down to personal preferences or what you get exposed to. Like who is the bias of the shipper and what things do they come across to make them a shipper, what kind of dynamics do they like etc. (It's more likely for someone who "falls" for JK to have JK in his ship, for example. Because they will focus on him and notice his interactions and then likely fall for a certain dynamic.)

History is a huge factor in general, and trying to change the perspective of the fandom might not be easy. But with a lot of new fans coming in and seeing with their own eyes how Vmin have behaved the last two years in particular, I think we can see a change.

Vmin are loved by the majority of this fandom, and that’s far better than them having people be anti them because of their ship being too big or too toxic. So in the end I do feel it’s a good things for them and for us that Vmin is being viewed as mostly platonic while they manage to slowly include more “normally not platonic things” into their platonic box. (I mean we are at a point where they can casually mention sleeping together and sing about being soulmates and hold hands in public).

Thank you for the ask and I hope you found this interesting. This is a topic I have a lot of opinions on and think is interesting myself, so I hope you enjoyed this post. No matter what we all know that one truth won’t change; 95z is love!

#vmin #vmin analysis #vmin friendzoned #vmin friends #vmin bromance #btsandvmin ask #btsandvmin answer #btsandvmin

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general-mahamatra · 4 years

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ahh im so glad!!! thank you for your answer! to expand on the protective hcs, how do u think each of the wolves show their protective side?? like, what kind of things would they all do for eachother? ALSO (i hope this isnt too much fknhknh) but sexuality hcs and maybe family hcs too? like the kind of families they have outside of pack and how it effects how they get along with their wolfy fam

Of course! I love the anons I've been getting and yours blessed my night so much! I really wanna give you a name so I can refer to you if you ever come back 👉🏻👈🏻

Maybe,,,, maybe timber anon,,, cmere timber anon I fucking love you so much

(damn this became long)

But protective sides!

Jack: Jack is the kind to do anything to protect his pack, even if it means going behind their backs to work with the order. His idea of protecting them is taking important tasks on his own and electing explicit help from specific Order members when necessary. He doesn't want his packmates to get hurt in some way so when it's life or death and only one person needs to get hurt or die? That'll be Jack. He will do anything to make sure his new family is safe, even if it means putting his life on the line.

He tends to ignore their please to help him, often shutting them out to do it all himself. He rarely tells them the entirety of his plans, even when they're as a group. He'll always give the instructions of grouping the other wolves together but he always scopes around on his own. Never, NEVER does he let someone accompany him. If someone is gonna get hurt, it will only be him.

Hamish: he's very protective, that's definitely known. Just not in terms of he'll go out and kill someone for it just because they're a threat. He's much more of a talking kinda guy. Pep talks, stern conversations, that sorta thing. He's much more likely to see how far he can get with his words before he moves on with anything else, but he's prone to get angry. While he isn't physical, his tone gets harsh and he'll do everything considered to be rage except for scream. When he's angry, he talks fast and sharp. His words will jumble together and he will get up close and personal, but never hit.

His protectiveness is more within the pack than taking out threats. He's one to give them a dose of reality and tell them what's up.

Randall: his idea of protection is using common sense. He will always point out when something is a terrible idea and makes a stand. He refuses to be swayed from his position and even if he loses a game of beer pong and is forced to agree, his mind is never changed. He will ways express his worries. "The Order is our ENEMY", "they tried to kill us a couple months ago!", "they literally stole our memory to control us", "this is a FUCKING DEMON HOW DUMB ARE YOU GUYS??"

Although the pack tends to make him a pushover, he will never shut up. In fact, being shoved to the side in big important missions is what makes Randall louder. He WILL be heard and he WILL make sure of it. And even if someone says his idea is bad, he will stew. He will sit and broil over until he figures out how to get his idea and pull it off. Even if it means risking his own hide to kill someone to complete a ritual.

Lilith: oh yes, Lilith. The girl named after the mother of all demons. You know her idea of protection is vicious. She is the one who will openly go to slit someone's throat for so much as looking at one of her packmates wrong. And she is snarly. She will growl and snap at whoever gets too close and will gladly punch someone for saying something wrong.

Her idea of protection is genuine killing. She is open about how vicious she is and uses it to her advantage to keep her pack safe. She refused to let anyone lay a harmful finger on her family.

-----

Sexualities!

These are my personal views on these characters from watching the show! I'm completely open to all other interpretations!

Jack: straight! He may have dabbled a bit with men but in the end, he came out preferring girls.

Hamish: he doesn't label himself. To the outside view he is bisexual but if you ask him, he will say he likes whoever. Labels just aren't for him.

Randall: bisexual! And he is VERY open about it. He is a genuine 50/50 with boys and girls and will openly admire them all. He's also definitely the most queer and accepting given how casual he is with cross dressing and how affectionate he has been with both Hamish and Lilith separately.

Lilith: bisexual leaning girls! She has expressed interest in boys (as seen with Randall) but in the end definitely prefers girls. She may end up being lesbian later on but for now, she still has minor interests in boys from time to time!

-----

Their families outside of the pack

Jack: we already know about his family. With basically all of them gone, Jack is left alone in the world with only his friends. Its why he's so protective of them. He's already lost his blood, he doesn't want to lose his found family.

Hamish: he isn't that open about his family but he has mentioned them. Given how we don't know how old he is, it's difficult to determine a lot about him. From my basic guess, he's in his late twenties given his parents are both still alive and how close he is with the pack despite being the senior member.

He is DEFINITELY a trust fund baby, but he's good with it. He's spoiled with money (probably from his mom marrying a sugar daddy or something--which could allude to why he's "hot for teach") and resources. But, given how he's genuinely mature and seen to live within the den, it's safe to assume his family taught him how to properly use his money. They seem like they have a good relationship.

He's definitely an only child and it's very much why he seems so much more mature. He grew up on his own and after years of learning how to deal with people, he is able to properly deal with the pack and assert himself properly while still being open and genuine. He never takes full control.

Randall: he has brothers for sure, it's why he's so athletic. He comes from a family centered around sports and football and every Superbowl they would send the boys out to play with the rest of the family at their parties. Its what got Randall so into working out and sports. Of course there were fights, but he got along with them pretty well since they were all close in age. Obviously, he was the youngest but shh, only by a year.

Its why he's so energetic and playful with all the pack. He's boisterous and loves to harass the others, especially Hamish with the nicknames. To be fair, though, he nicknames EVERYONE. Jack is only ever Jacky Boy in his mind.

Lilith: she isn't too close to her family. She isn't open about them at all and never mentions them to anyone else. Most of her times over the holidays are spent on campus with either the pack or some of her friends from other classes. Its not entirely known why she doesn't like her family, but it's suspected it may have had to do with her feisty attitude and tendency to lash out at those close to her.

It's possible she had a sister and was known to be close with her despite a bunch of arguments. They were probably the reason Lilith ended up splitting away from her family.

Its why she tries so hard to stay close with the pack while also keeping them at a distance. She doesn't want a repeat of what happened with her sister; she can't lose another family.

#the order #heelys gang #the order headcanons #the order hcs #hamish duke #lilith bathory #randall carpio #jack morton #hamish the order #lilith the order #randall the order #jack the order

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ohailyn · 5 years

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❝ Half of me, for growth; the other, for decay. ❞ ANTOINETTE ROBERTSON? No, that’s actually AILYN WILKES. A SEVENTH YEAR student, this SLYTHERIN student is sided with THE NEUTRALS. SHE/HER identifies as A CIS WOMAN and is a PUREBLOOD who is known to be INDIFFERENT, HAUGHTY, and SECRETIVE but also ADAPTABLE, INTELLECTUAL, and AMBITIOUS.

LINKS: stats, pinboard, character tag. CHARACTER PARALLELS: elle woods (legally blonde), cersei lannister (asoiaf), michaela pratt (how to get away with murder), sun bak (sense8) HELLO this is my babe ailyn, a pink mess of iconicness and confusing morals!!! just a heads up that this intro will contain mentions of abuse (spousal and child) and alcoholism

history

ailyn’s youth was filled with lies. her parents were skilled liars, pretenders, people who bended the truth because the truth was something nasty. her father said his business was booming, while unpaid bills kept piling up, and he kept reassuring them with alcohol on his breath and an unshaved face, that nothing was wrong, that he was fixing it all. when ailyn turned ten, he had gone bankrupt and visited the pub every day, rather than his job, and when his mother kissed him on the cheek every morning and told her kids that she loved him, she was lying, too. she smelled of others when she came home, and she was having not one, but two affairs.

and so ailyn learned that truth is a relative thing, something to bend to your own will. she learned it from her parents and continued it when she went to hogwarts, where she spoke of her father’s wonderful business and her parents happy marriage as if it was nothing but truth. she learned off their secrets before she left (and they weren’t that hard to figure out, in all truth, if you looked well — all it took was following her dad to work one day and bursting in her mother’s bedroom out of nowhere) and kept them, but added in some aspects of her own. lies became ailyn’s language at hogwarts, and she fed them to those around her with smiles.

besides, her family was doing a good fucking job at keeping the truth quiet: her maternal grandparents supplied enough money for them to continue living in their home, to afford the bare necessities, to make sure that ailyn and her brother would not show up at hogwarts looking like the poor kids they were without their grandparents. gotta love that classicism! :)

born into a family with a history of supporting voldemort, ailyn was raised with purist beliefs. her paternal grandfather died in the crossfire of the first wizarding war and his legacy runs through the veins of her father. her father, who committed purist crimes in order to steal money or things of worth, even after voldemort’s end, her father, who told her how his father was supposed to still be alive and ream the rewards of his hard work, who clung to purist ideals so desperately, that it seemed to be the only thing to keep him afloat. she believed them, for a long time, as they gave her a chance to put herself on a pedestal, and she craved that, when she was younger.

she has shed them at this point, though she doesn’t bother to speak out against it. it’s just that she’s not a very good witch – she’s smart, don’t get me wrong, incredibly intelligent, but simply not good at waving wands and muttering spells – which has put things in perspective a little. being into history and being a realist in her core has also made ailyn look at the topic of blood purity more seriously, and once she was able to think more critically and was no longer constantly surrounded by her parents, she understood how stupid purism is. it’s just illogical, based on #fakefacts and a wish to be better for no other reason than a surname ( i literally talk about this again later on so LMAO )

her younger brother does however stick with blood purity, looks up to his father, is disillusioned and blind and excited and a child, still, but a cruel one in the making. ailyn fears for him. worries about him. tries to guide him but sees no effects.

anyway, her father joined the death eaters, despite him being a bit of an … embarrassment. he used his power as a death eater to steal money and get some of that money that they’d lost because of him, not bettering his reputation among other death eaters, but regaining some of his pride as he relied less on his parents in law for money. ( though, in honesty, most of the money he stole was blown on alcohol, new suits and gambling )

[ abuse, alcoholism tw ailyn’s dad was furious at his wife, at the world, at himself. he hated that he relied on his parents-in-law for money, hated that it was his fault, hated that his wife was fucking everyone but him. he drank too much, lashed out at his wife when intoxicated, both verbally and physically. his anger turned to his kids at times, too, but was mostly aimed at his wife. ailyn despises him. deeply. end of tw’s ]

going to hogwarts was good. ailyn got to get away from home, and surround herself with others, with people who came from different places, who weren’t stuck in purist beliefs. ailyn was sorted into slytherin, for her cunning and ambition. a booksmart kid, she found herself more interested in the library and all it offered than what her classes tried to teach her. besides, ailyn found out pretty soon that she was rather bad at practical magic; she was soon behind in charms, transfiguration and DADA. she wondered if something was wrong with her wand, for a moment, wondered what was causing her to perform so poorly.

it was during these realisations, during her time away from home, that she started to step away from the purist idealisation she’d been raised with. she’d never subscribed to them much, to start with, but she hadn’t distanced herself from them, either. being away from home, surrounding herself with muggleborns, halfbloods and ‘blood traitors’, as well as her whole journey with … being rather shit at magic made her realise how fucking stupid it was

doesn’t fully share her feelings at all times, though, out of self preservation. besides, she’s not out here to fight for muggleborn rights either — she thinks the war is bullshit, frankly, but she’s also self serving as fuck, and will not do anything to endanger herself. she’s very true neutral, in that sense? can fairly judge situations, but is good at sitting back even if she disapproves. will start debates on blood purity, but isnt about to fight a war over it, on either side.

history soon became her favourite subject. ailyn found herself staying up late in the common room, learning about muggle history, but also delving into obscure parts of magical history, wanting to know more more more about the ways humans changed the course of the world, how cruel and kind people could be all at once. she’s very intrigued by what drives people, which is ironic, as not much drives ailyn morally LMAO.

this is where her ambition lies, where her strengths lie. ailyn wants to work under a historian, learn about how to write about history – because it’s happening all around her – how to interpret it, how to connect the dots. she’d love to intern under bathilda bagshot, or someone similar. she’s such a NERD.

her relationship with her family has become strained. ailyn hates her father, and despises her mother. her brother is a different story — there’s more love there, i suppose, a healthy relationship, but they disagree on many things. he wants to join the ranks of the death eaters once he’s old enough, whereas she’s been lucky enough not to be considered due to her lack of skill (in the eyes of both her father and the death eaters in general) and is glad of it.

ailyn is cordial with her family. she doesn’t want to deal with the consequences of turning her back on them but also doesnt want to participate in the large amount of lies that already surround their family. she’s not in the mood to be labeled a blood traitor or anything. she may not believe in purism but she’s not a good person --- she’s indifferent and apathetic and cares about herself and a handful of people, and so she will keep her opinions carefully locked up while making the world her own.

she mostly just wants to graduate, start studying to become a historian and move the fuck away lmao. a new start, with new chances and a whole new world for her to conquer. she’s Tired tm of the death eaters, as theyre just a product of another white man’s idiocy, like so many negative things in the world --- she’s got no energy for it.

personality and tidbits

ailyn is a true neutral, powder pink lipstick lesbian who will drag your ass through the mud while speaking to you sweetly with a :) smile :). she has a mean streak and her nature isnt necessarily malicious but she can be when she chooses to. this streak most often shows itself in front of people that ailyn thinks lesser of/people that annoy her. there’s a lot of those

she’s just ... tired. tired of humanity and all the people around her and the ruckus theyre causing. ailyn just wants people to Chill Out and use their heads in stead of whatever’s motivating them ( their genitals, hearts, stomachs, whatever ). she feels very ... Genius LMAO because she’s such a realist and she thinks she has the world all figured out when, obviously, she doesnt.

ailyn is very sure of herself, incredibly confident --- sometimes too confident ( though she’s of the opinion that girls can never be to confident ) and in turn she can be condescending and haughty. she’s self aware, though, about most things. she knows where her strengths and weaknesses lie and has made peace with it, even knows that she’s arrogant and harsh, but doesn’t care much.

a gamp on her mother’s side and cousin to gemma!

ailyn is hyperfeminine, believes in lethal femininity and the colour pink. very much elle woods in that sense --- she loves fashion and make up and velvet high heels and looking good, but has a ready mind that she’ll apply to reach her goals at any given moment in time. will Not be underestimated because she’s girly. a firm believer in the matriarchy. lover of womanhood.

she also ... just thinks lowly of men a lot. like --- her dad’s a deadbeat idiot alcoholic broke dude and he Sucks, and then there’s people like grindelwald and voldemort and a long string of ministers, prime ministers and presidents that just proof that men shouldnt be in power to her LMAO. her interest in history is mostly just ailyn sighing at the deeds of men and how they continue to disappoint her.

would love to enter the ministry one day and be a politician, but for now her focus lies on becoming a historian, as that seems like a logical first step. also, the ministry is a mess at the moment that ailyn doesnt want to be a part of LMSFKJHSD.

loyal to first and foremost herself, a true self-serving queen. though, if she is your friend, you do have a loyal person on your side who will be ride or die. will kill for you. will bury a body with you.

absolutely adores mythology especially because most stories prove that men ain’t shit and because there’s iconic characters like medusa and athena and persephone and many more

medusa is ... in general a character that ailyn very much loves and is intrigued by --- a hurt woman, mistreated and abuse because of her gender and nothing more, turned into someone who could protect herself, only to be labeled a monster and murdered ... she’s endlessly angry and intrigued.

captain of the history club!! she loves history sm :( come geek out w her

also a member of the debate club!! while she shies away from speaking on purism, she does have a lot of vocal opinions on sexism/queerphobia/racism/etc and is very knowledgeable on political topics!!!

always tired of everyone and everything

loves rose & vodka.

#iidyintro #DONE w the reposts now yeet

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fairycosmos · 5 years

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i really hope this isnt a stupid or naive question but how do i know if im bi? like i spent most of my life admiring girls and i always thought girls bodies were beautiful and just overall loved women, but never in a sexual way. i used to think it was bc of feminism and the love i grew to have for my own gender, instead of feeling like being a girl was a trap. but now im just putting things together and maybe i like women a little too much?i just idk if i want to be them or love them?

hey it’s seriously not stupid at all!! a lot of people struggle w this dilemma when they’re trying to work themselves out, and i did too. honestly though, it doesn’t have to be a big deal, even though it may really feel like one at the moment. rather than thinking strictly of whether or not you would want to fuck a girl, consider how the idea of being in a relationship with one makes you feel. kissing one, holding hands with one, sharing your life with one. if you can see yourself being comfortable with that, and enjoying it, then there’s your answer. obviously if the female body completely repulses you then you’re not into girls lol, but if the urge to try it out is there, then you may not be as straight as you thought you were. which is cool, obviously. whatever conclusion you come to, it’s fine. sexuality can be a very fluid thing for some - there’s no reason to think you have to consider yourself as one label for the rest of your life. if you want to id as straight until you’ve actually tried something with a girl then fair enough, but at the same time, if you want to id as bi before you’ve ever pursued a woman then that’s fair enough too. it’s your choice. whatever you want/need, it’s alright. in simple terms, if the attraction itself is there, then you’re bi. try to block out the world, and what it’s telling you about how you “should” feel, and try to get in touch with what your heart really desires. have a few honest conversations with yourself. there’s literally no wrong answer, angel. there’s nothing you can feel for another consenting adult/person your age that is shameful, especially smth as soft as love/infatuation. it sounds stupid and cheesy, but it’s true. self discovery is a personal journey, it’s no one elses business unless you want it to be. and it’s completely normal for it to be a process and for it to take time. you don’t have to know exactly what you want, you just have to be kind to yourself so that you don’t feel afraid of what you want, you know? i hope that makes sense. i’m sending you a lot of love, i promise you’re not always going to feel this lost. give it some time. things will become clearer as you get older n meet more and more people. everything is going to work out the way it’s supposed to. please let me know if you need a friend or if you want to talk about this properly. hmu anytime. i’m always here.

#anon

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19possums-blog · 5 years

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ZZX reaction to JY return after his 3 years absence : wut

So im kind of thinking out loud, but i was wondering why JY and ZZX relationship changed so much before and after JY kidnapping. Im sure someone else in the fandom talked about this bc i doesnt make any sense, but anw !

My main hypothesis is that OX didnt know what this manhwa was going to be and where they were going with the story at first. So when 19 days wont be a big flashback anymore and OX will rejoin the ‘present’ timeline, they will have to do a big big retcon of the beginning of the manhwa. Which is okay, i mean i write too and i basically dont have any idea where im taking my story and characters lol.

Because at the beginning, when JY return to ZZX after his 3 years disappearance, ZZX and JY basically act like almost strangers, cold and distant (well, as cold and distant as JY can be lol). They seem like some sort of estranged childhood friends. And ZZX is like “oh its this airhead, who would think i would see him again”. And like it doesnt compute with the story we’re reading at the moment !!

Right now, JY confessed to ZZX, and ZZX accepted his declaration and is reflecting on his own feelings, while acknowledging that JY is very important to him too -even if he doesnt seem too sure on how to label their relationship. ZZX acts like a caring mother towards his best friend, by comforting him, by massaging him, etc. Most of all, he’s worried about this kidnapping thing which seems to be recurrent in JY’s life lol, and is legitimately distrustful of He Cheng and Brother Qiu.

So presently, we have ZZX who :

-is aware and accepting of JY’s romantic/sexual feelings towards him

- have deep feelings for JY, no matter what this feelings are, and act upon them

-is aware that theres something wrong with JY’s life that makes the latter be kidnapped regularly and is therefore worried about him and inquired about JY’s life’s event

And OX want me to believe that when JY will disappear and reappear out of thin air three years later, ZZX will be unhappy and distrustful ? and would just ask JY “so what happened” and wont care about JY’s answer ? and they will basically be back to square one after all this development between them in the last chapter ???

So either OX is a genius and thought of something that would make sense of what i just said, that would explain how all this development is just,, cancelled, or OX didnt anticipate their story and will be kind of stuck up if they dont retcon the very beginning of the story.

Obviously, im inclined towards the second option. I think OX began their story wanting to write a goofy relationship between two childhood idiot best friends which would be a succession of funny moments between them, with borderline shonen-ai tone. Lets not forget that at first 19 days was a compilation of illustration without story. And then OX wanted to introduce dramatic moments ; but to create dramatic moments, we need a story behind them. And thats how Zhanyi relationship development came to be, and how the mafia storyline wasnt just a funny ‘hey this idiot is actually a big boss son lmao!!” but a major plot point that threatens the relationship of the two friends.

I have other ‘evidence’ that point towards this hypothesis : theres quite a number of time when ZZX and JY relationship doesnt make sense. example 1 : Remember how at the very beginning of the flashback, how JY goes to ZZX house and it seems like its the first time he went there ? And JY isnt aware that ZZX have a sister which he is quite fond of ?? If they were best friends since they had 5 years old, im pretty sure they should be aware of the other’s family. They should also have gone to each other house many times. But here OX shows that they basically dont know anything about each other while still being best childhood friends. I think OX wanted to depict the creation and blossoming of a strong friendship, but it cant happen in the span of a few weeks... so they added that they were childhood friends to add more depth but thus it doesnt quite feel right.

example 2 : More recently, JY have been ‘kidnapped’ by brother Qiu to go to He Cheng house in the last chapters. Just before, ZZX was shown to be distrustful of Qiu when Qiu brought JY to school with his scooter. But when JY come to school the day after, ZZX doesnt seem to care at all that JY is living and training in He cheng’s house ?? he doesnt even ask questions, wtf ???

Like make up your mind OX, do you want ZZX to be a concerned friend with strong feeling towards JY, or do you want him to be an aloof guy whou couldnt care less about JY ?? You cant have both :/ if you want the first scenario, you’re going to have to write a more dramatic story with less funny moments. If you want the second scenario, you have to stop writing poignant scenes between JY and ZZX.

Actually, it articulates why im not too fond of the Zhanyi ship (it isnt believable, and its frustrating because it could be ! the love confession was the most intense shit in the manhwa!! and im saying this even though i largely prefer tianshan!!) and my main problem with 19 days : sometimes its just not coherent. I hope OX will make up their mind !!

#19 days #zhanyi #zhan zheng xi #jian yi #19days

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porcelainschizopanic · 6 years

Text

I believe, Cheating can happen within love.

But also without.

It's up to you and your relationship to make the distinction.

It's human nature, to be attracted to people. Whether that be the person you're with - or a stranger walking down the street.

We notice people that fit our definition of attractive.

harmless, if you keep it at simply just. Noticing that person is attractive and leaving it there.

Temptation is everywhere, It's hard to ignore. And most of us at one point or another fail to ignore it.

So what exactly does that mean?

That we don't love the person we are with?

That we dont love ourselves?

Or maybe its just right place, wrong time, bad judgement.

Or possibly we are gaining something from the person we are cheating with...

First; We should define cheating.

"act dishonestly or unfairly in order to gain an advantage, especially in a game or examination"

By that definition Cheating is more than the act of sex with another person. If you have messages to another you know would be inappropriate if your partner saw. You're already there.

There's a thin line between friendly, and flirty.

When you're deleting things so your lover never finds them is it out of deception ? or is it out of protection. You don't want to hurt your lover. So ask yourself, Why are you doing these things that WOULD. Why must you cover your tracks to protect them?

The reality is Cheating isnt always a malicious act, However more times then not. it is a hurtful act.

People cheat for a number of reasons. For some people it could even be something such as the way they were raised.

It took me awhile growing up to realize for myself cheating is unacceptable, But I was always around it during my upbringing so to me the lines were blurred for a long time between the right and wrong.

After some therapy and some lessons learned the hard way though I figured it out..

People do things for so many reasons that the next person may not understand, in alot of peoples mind sets all that matters and all they see is what makes sense to them.

Unfortunately statistically . If you cheat once, You're very likely to cheat again in your life time. However some people do it once, learn the damage and never do again. I think cheating is a very complex thing. And again remember cheating is more then psychical touch. It's also an emotional thing!!!

Sometimes cheating has NOTHING to do with the persons partner, or the relationship at all. I'll go more in depth later.

Lets go back to the beginning. Cheating WITHOUT love. Some people get into relationships for the sake of the label. The sake of having someone to fall back on no matter what but don't care that they are cheating.

To me, That is cheating without love.

The person does it repeatedly with not much remorse. It's lust, and boredom. Those are the ones you NEED to watch out for. They do it because they know they can. and don't care what happens. Because there is always someone else.

It's pretty simple, Even if its a bitter pill to swallow. If someone is repeating the same "mistakes"

with promise of change but no real changes. They don't care about you. They care about what they are getting from you.

Now, We go on to probably the more painful and complex side of cheating.

Cheating within love.

As I said It can happen.

For some people Cheating, or even the thought of . Is a total deal breaker and end of the rope for the relationship. For others, It's a bump in their road map.

People often think those who stay with cheaters are insane. Maybe sometimes they are. Other times they may stay because theyve been so mentally abused by the individual they dont have the strength to leave. And sometimes , The person just sees the bigger picture with their partner.

Whatever the case, it's solely up to the person unique situation to decide whats best.

Life is; Hard. It's full of stresses, inconveniences . set backs, anger, and loss. We all cope with things differently.. Thats why alcoholics exist, and drug addicts. They were people faced with hard times and thats what got them through. For others fitness, and distraction are what work best. EVERYONE is different.

Remember when I said cheating can sometimes have nothing to do with their partner or relationship? Here's where this applies.

Your partner can love you more then anything in the world and STILL may cheat !

WHY!?!?!?!?!. Because . We cope with stress differently. Say your partner and you are going through a rough patch, and their stressed out with work, and they are having car troubles and everything is just really heavy right now, they come home from a long day and you get into an argument when all they wanted was to confide in you so now they are more heated then before, So.

They take to the internet, or maybe a co worker. They find a quick fix. That isn't so close to home.

Maybe they flirt, or maybe they actually sleep with someone, Or maybe it's just a fantasy they create in their mind to distract themselves from the current problems swirling around the,

What I mean by "not so close to home" is. This person may not know their personal life, their current struggles, and offers no problems to them at this present time. It's a clean simple escape from reality. A comfort.

They don't mean it to cause you harm, and are just coping in maybe the only way that seems helpful at that current time.

It's why alot of married men cheat, They still love their wives but commitment and love can become hard. You need to just breathe somewhere that doesn't feel like a dragon breathing fire down your neck. So what better then a stranger, A girl with no interest in your baggage. Just a fun flirt for the moment

Does that make it hurt less? No. Does that cause less damage? No. But maybe it puts into perspective some form of reasoning .

I've always used my parents as an example for cheating within love.

I know, no matter what they do and have always loved eachother more then life. However going through hell and back with a person you reach times that are sometimes overwhelming. You need to take yourself out of the stress for one second and maybe you pour the part of yourself that youre removing from the situation into someone else.

I'm not defending cheating, I don't think it's healthy. And if you're choosing to shy from managomy its something you should discuss with your partner. I'm just trying to put into perspective. Cheating isn't always without love.

The whole 'The grass is always greener on the otherside" Saying is obviously not true, But we always see it that way. Something we don't have or arent apart of always seems better then our current hardships, and sometimes its hard to remember and see that and we do things we may potentially regret .

There is always consequences to our actions.

The after math of cheating, or being cheated on is the hardest. It's broken trust and insecurities .

You're left with a big huge empty pit of . Did this person ever love me? You see them through different eyes now, and someone you can barely recognize. How could the person i love, hurt me so bad. Lay down and betray me and all that we had .

Humans are not perfect, we are all flawed and learning. And sometimes we forget how to love, we act selfishly without consideration to the those around us.

It takes a long time to heal from the wound of being cheated on within a relationship. But if you love each other its entirely possible to get through it. COMMUNICATION is your biggest asset to help you get back on track. The love you had and feel is not lost, it's not your fault, and you can still thrive

Don't tell yourself you're not good enough. Or that it's your fault.

love is taking those chances on another person. it's up to you to deem whats worth it. Know your limits.

A message to cheaters ;

Someone who wants whats best for you, is whats best for you. And if you've cheated on the one you love you can not be ruthless in the healing process because it seems "annoying" they can't just get over it.

It hits them late at night, right when they can't sleep.

Or eating breakfast and suddenly lose their appetite.

Understand your actions and the damages It's a long road but it's worth it.

Know that there will be doubts and more curiosity on your actions because now there is misplaced trust.

But there is nothing stronger then someone who sticks by you even when there was wrong done.

It's important to know, your lover is capable of comforting you, and will love you and support you more then some stranger ever will. you're replacing frustration with an empty space.

Don't throw away love, for a bad week or a bad day.

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gothmonsters · 7 years

Text

ffxv sexualities

noctis - hes gay. he’s always struggled with it, and his crush on luna is mostly a result of compulsory heterosexuality and admiration and duty to her and restoring peace. he’s had a crush on all of the bros, mostly prompto, but keeps it quiet. hes shy. his type is generally guys who are chill and who he can just relax around, though theyre few and far between, and he dated a little between the ages of 16 and 20, but never really found anybody Real. hes pretty content with it once he’s older, though

prompto - this boy is Really Fucking Bi. doesnt have a preference, he just likes dating and making out with people and sometimes hooking up. he had an awkward crush on noctis in highschool, and is perpetually in fanboy love with cor (and clarus, for some reason). obviously, he has a Type with women - cindy and aranea, both tough, confident, and funny. same applies to guys. give him someone who can crack a joke and do dumb shit with him

gladio - no one knows, not even him. he fluctuates a lot, and never really puts a label on it. if someone catches his eye, hes down. doesnt really have a type, either, tends to pursue confident and self-assured people. has a weakness for leather jackets and tattoos (duh), but it isnt until hes around 27ish that he realises he has a Thing for short people. down for casual sex and all that jazz, but makes the most of it. people tend to remember him for a long time. didnt realise his idolisation of nyx in his teen years was a crush for a loooong time

ignis - like noctis, hes gay. naturally, he doesnt get a lot of time to date or to even think about it. its just something he’s always known. it’s never particularly been an issue for him, and early on he resigned himself to not being able to settle down until much later in life, if at all. HOWEVER he’s definitely the type to fall quickly and hold onto it for a very long time, which has proven painful in the past. in his very rare and fleeting relationships, he’s figured out that he likes guys who are patient and kind, and who he can just talk to for hours

luna - bi. nyx? yes. aranea? yes. shes got a Type and its rough, tough assholes with a sense of humour and weird weapons. shes very shy though and gets VERY nervous around pretty girls. guys dont intimidate her much, but when she met aranea, she literally couldnt speak in full sentences for abt 5 minutes. she probably would have dated crowe if they ever met, but alas, square just HAD to kill the butch lesbian

cindy - BIG OLE LESBIAN. also the worlds most useless lesbian. if theres a pretty girl within 30 ft of her, she’s a Mess. that being said, once she’s in a relationship, she’s very playful, flirty, and confident. catch this girl with an ugly photo of her girlfriend as her phone background. she also teaches her girlfriends a thing or two about mechanics, which usually helps them out years down the line

aranea - pan. likes girls more, though, she finds she trusts them more. if she has the time, she’s rly into casual sex, and isnt particularly picky about gender when she’s just looking to get laid. probably hooked up with gladio once and likes to brag about it. gladio is a Changed Man after that experience probably. in a relationship, she’s very laid back and would probably just walk around in her underwear, tiddies out, just bc she cba to put on clothes. flirts with everybody just as a way of communication.

#orig #ffxv headcanons #final fantasy xv headcanons #ffxv #final fantasy xv

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survivor-guyana · 5 years

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Episode 5 - "Another day, another swap." - Jess

Sarah was robbed.

Please tribe swap, please tribe swap.

youtube

Not really sure how to feel at this stage...

Jess absolutely botched this challenge for us, and it was probably the worst individual effort in a competition that I have seen in years. For that, she automatically created a target on her back.

HOWEVER, I need to control who goes here, and it won't be Jess. It sounds like Dani and Nick were on opposite sides of the joint tribal, and will likely target one another.

I would personally like to see Alyssa go sooner than later, but there is no context in taking her out right now. She is "Hosororo strong" apparently, but the tables have turned. I'm not sure if I am willing to give her the same mercy that the favs gave us.

Honestly I wouldn't mind losing this so Mitchell goes home but then again I wouldn't mind Arakaka going to tribal either. I also feel like Nick is fucked over at Takama. He has the idol but that'd require someone using it on him which I doubt would happen. He better up his social game! If Arakaka goes to tribal then it should obviously be Aidan bc of his advantage and bc of Jones, Sammy, and Chelsea/JD alliance. Wait is Chelsea a fan? Lol idk.

So Ive been talking to Maynor and TJ individually about having an alliance of us 3 since I put them both high on my list! They both agreed and so I formed the alliance called... JONES'S ANGELS! I feel like we're gonna be a good alliance as well. Oh José is on our tribe as well as Mitchell. José is someone that I talked to the least on our OG tribe and from the looks of the trust list, someone who is not very trusted. Mitchell has his karma coming from the joint tribal round and for voting out Sarah. (PSST Sarah I miss u queen I can't wait to see you in Survivor Michigan.)

Another day, another swap. I've officially been on EVERY single tribe now. I am Guyana's Orphan. Honestly, I'm actually okay with how we swapped this time around.

I'm in the majority both in several ways. 1. I'm in the majority if Devon and I decide to stick with the "Fans" (barf). 2. I'm in the majority if we decide to go to Hosororo Way (yassss bitch) 3. I'm in the majority if Favourites attempt something (meh).

BUT this bitch is literally her OWN ENEMY RIGHT NOW. I flopped that memory competition harder a nerd at Comic Con trying to talk to a female. YIKES. I hope the flu isn't what sends me home or else I'm going to FUCKING RAGE.

I was able to re-connect with Dani which was okay? for me? I guess? Honestly at this point I have no loyalty to the Fans tribe (I don't think I ever had any tbh). I don't think a label in front of someone's name should stop me from trying to further my game. That being SAID....

Nick is on A WHOLE NOTHER' LEVEL Y'ALL. This man literally knew me for 5 seconds and spilled his whole game. I expected more from a dude who owns a buff personally. The only thing he didn't tell me last night was his social insurance number. I kind of feel bad for him but I don't want to let him get far. I rather keep Dani around than him at this point. I don't want that to hurt my relationship with Alyssa so.. I AM STRESSING RIGHT NOW.

Speaking of Alyssa...

MY GIRL ALYSSA GETTING FIRST.. fucking SCARES ME SHITLESS. I would honestly consider her my #1 at this point but now this has me thinking.. am I really HER number 1? Does she have the same relationship with me like she has with others? If we merge does she have my back over people like Jones/JD who she speaks HIGHLY of to me? I have my doubts but I think having someone like her on my side in this crucial time is an ASSET. She is VULNERABLE and I need to make sure I make her feel as fucking comfortable as possible. It's times like these where those strong relationships form and I honestly think if we can possibly

That's my bitch, that's my girl. I honestly think Alyssa is my gate-way drug to the Favourites at this point. I also really just want to meet Jones because I'm convinced she's my future best friend.

Something I haven't touched on.... ever BUT I can't wait to possibly re-connect with TJ. I miss being able to strategize with him. The way he sees games is insane and I have a half of a brain cell so it's always nice to have a smart person do the thinking for you.

I NEED TO FIND A FUCKING ADVANTAGE OR A GOD DAMN IDOL.

youtube

I cant believe we won immunity. I was really scared that we would have to go to tribal. Me, TJ, and Tim made an alliance called Jones’s Angels and i cant wait to be reunited with Jones. Mitchell is acting like last vote wasnt against me but it was like. How can you say theres 100% trust when there isnt. The Jenna vote was not as much of a suprise for Mitchell cuz i mentioned my worries about Jenna. Im being buddy buddy but if we lost next round. He is going home for sure. Once you brake my trust, you cant really get it back. Sorry mitchell buddy. And i have eyes on Aidan and Dani. Karma for Sarah is coming.

WOW! That's all I have to say right now. This game is really putting me through the ringer but I'm in it to win it and this fucking tribe swap threw me for a loop. I knew the trust lists would come into play but I didn't know right away. But I sort of made such a power move on my tribe and then got shuffled into this and I saw the numbers and went FUCK.

Like four favorites versus little old me! But I like a challenge... I'm not Sarah, I'm not going to let myself get swapfucked. *gives the camera a shady look*

Having the Opal Idol in my pocket is amazing and I'm glad I went for that temptation. Everyone knows I have it but honestly I think there's an advantage to standing out. I feel like this series is used to a lot of UTR, lowkey players and people lying low and that's just not my thing... I honestly can't lay low to save my life. So my plan is to go after them. Honestly since I was low on the trust list it makes sense to go after people high on the trust list. I'm honestly not that bitter but if I can use it to justify targeting some people, I'm going to do it.

I'm not sure of my tribe because everybody is meh so far? I don't know if I'm dry or they're just all in alliances but I can't get a read on them for shit. I saw how well they all did in their past games and JD is giving me this loner act but she's been to an FTC so I know she's not as dumb as she's letting on. For some reason the fact that there are more girls than guys concerns me because I feel like those bitches could link up?

I guess I like Chelsea the best but maybe that's because she seems a little more exciting. Sammy does too but he seems like a game threat. I think I'm reluctant to share anything with anyone because I'm not sure of their relationships with each other. I think I want Jonesy out though... she has this cutesy act that is relatable and did pretty well on her first season. She was high on the trustlist too.

In all... I feel isolated but not intimidated.

Nobody has asked about the temptation but I'm ready to lie about it being a vote steal like I told Dani and Mitchell. I need to start keeping my lies in order because they're going to be PISSED when I reveal what it really is but hopefully they understand... if I ever see them again. I'm worried about Dani AND Jess over there at Takama because Devon is crafty. They are some people I hope I can rekindle with at merge. I'd consider working with Maynor but he seems like the type to want revenge.

WE WINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN fuck yeah also i wanna elaborate on something i said in my last confessional about using Aidan as a shield bc idk if I ever explained that Aidan has proclaimed that his tribe did not trust him at all, AND he has an advantage, right? so obviously, people would want to vote him out because of it. HOWEVER, if I get him to trust me/on my side, not only can we work together, BUT everyone will always target him over myself, so yeah, logic ;)

Unfortunately we didn't lose and just as I feared Nick's tribe lost. Welp you had a good run Nick.

youtube

So this round has been messed up. I was swapped to a tribe with 1 person I talked to breifly on our original tribe and had an alliance with to search for idols. The other 3 players were all people I never spoke to. Furthermore Dani even voted vote for a few tribals ago. After a botched challenge I’m hoping that it’s going to be Dani tonight and not me. I’ve spoken with Jess and Devon and get good vibes that they want to play together. Let’s hope their not playing me.

So pretty much I’ve been able to establish a strong relationship with Maynor this game... now I just need a majoritu on this tribe to be able to cause some damage within the merge, so we’ll see how things go when I reach that phase 😤 I want to work with TJ tbh, but we’ll see how that goes I guess haha

Ugh I hope Jess and devon aren’t ducking with me but I think it’s me or nick. Really hoping it’s nick. Sorry for typos drubk

Ummmm, so what did i do? Nothing, what have I done? Nothing, I didnt do the challenge ether cus like, wow I do not have a shity memory. But we won so yay team!

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demiboypercyjackson · 7 years

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dysphoria is kicking my butt rn :') so I give you the idea of trans Will on his period and Nico freaking out bc he's "not the doctor here" and he "has no idea what to do oh god will how do I make you feel better"

yes!!! this is what helps me when im menstruating too so im well-versed 😂 thank you for sending the ask!

the first time that will gets his period while he’s dating nico, it’s an absolute wreck. will is uncomfortable and seems downtrodden and sad and fiddles around with his hands around nico like he’s torn between asking a dire question and hiding beneath six feet of earth. nico doesnt understand it - they’ve been working on being up front with each other, haven’t they? so why is will so obviously hiding something?

nico confronts him in the infirmary later that night, if it can be called a confrontation at all. he tries to be soft, because he knows that though will appears confident and oftentimes very much is, he can sometimes be quick to spook when it comes to more serious and private matters. its another thing they share in common. so nico is watching his boyfriend shuffle through pills in the infirmary and organize medicines. will looks at the labels with an odd determination and restlessness in his eyes, like he’s attempting telepathy on the tiny capsules behind the prescription info.

“will,” nico sighs, pulling the son of apollo’s nervous hands out of the pill cupboard. “please, tell me what’s wrong. why have you been acting so strangely?”

will swallows hard, trying to make his face look empty. he had always been a terrible liar, however, and instead looks like he has a bit of gas. nico figured it was just one of the downsides to being the son of the god of truth - when you lied, you got the ‘i farted’ face. a tough break for sure.

“i, uh,” will coughs, a short clearing of the throat. “i just. well.”

and nico blinks. “…well?”

an odd silence fills the room, and nico shivers at the tense feeling that pervades the air. will turns his head to the side quickly, trying to avoid nico’s eyes, though he doesn’t seem to fully want to. he itches to be earnest, honest, and nico knows it. “i… i have, uh,” he swallows hard again. he meets nico’s eyes hard behind a curtain of blond hair. “i have cramps.”

“cramps?” and now nico is alarmed. will is rarely ever sick, and when he is, it is normally severe. children of apollo cannot heal children of apollo through their powers either. “where? are they serious?”

will gets that look on his face like he’s lying again. “no,” he says unconvincingly. “i mean, they’re normal.” but he is so obviously speaking truth.

“what are you hiding?” he wont lie and say he isnt hurt. but he understands. “im honest with you about my health now. please, will.”

and will groans, melting back into that loose-boned, lazy beanpole. “i’m… on the rag, neeks.”

nico blinks. “on the rag?”

“yeah, you know…. aunt red is down for a visit.”

never in his life has nico di angelo been more confused. “…artemis?”

“no, neeks, i mean…. my monthly gift from mother nature.”

“…so, demeter then?” still, only confusing comes from this.

will puts his head in his hands and groans the hopeless wail of a dying man. “im bleeding, nico! im menstruating!“ he drops his hands dramatically, looking at the ceiling in desperation, as if he was hoping to find some kind of peace hidden there. “or in my case, MANstruating.” he’s obviously frustrated and bitter, but in classic will solace fashion, he takes the time to huff out a laugh at his little joke.

nico, however, does not laugh. despite his skin taking back the healthy olive tone of his youth (well, youth-er?), he’s certain he’s blushing scarlet. “oh. that.” nico is very new to many things, one of which is how it works for someone to be trans. trans people existed in the 1930s, of course, even in italy, and have for centuries he’s learning, but up til meeting and falling for will, nico had never known. and now, with all this new information, he was playing a bit of catch up, hense why his mind hadn’t connected that will’s anatomy meant he would receive… ‘nature’s gift’. he felt a bit foolish.

sniffing once awkwardly, will scratches the back of his head. “yeah… i was, uh. looking for midol. not that it ever really helps me, but….”

nico blinks again.

“right, you wouldnt know it by brand name. its just… period medicine. helps with cramps.”

nico nods numbly. “of course, um. of- of course.”

will laughs again, with far less humor. “its strange. its horrible.”

nico somehow freezes and melts at the same time. his shoulders fall and he stares at will’s face intensely. “no.” he says with conviction.

“yes.”

“no, i just. i dont know. i was never really taught any of this.” nico shrugs, eyes searching the infirmary before finding will’s face again, then his stark white shoes. “i dont know how to help”

its quiet again, and that worries nico.

nico clears his throat to make noise, then says awkwardly, “will, listen. i like you a lot.” will looks up at him, meeting his eyes, and will smiles when meets nico’s eyes. he must sense him telling the truth. “you’re… you’re my…” he struggles for a word to say. he’s uncomfortable with terms like boyfriend and partner and he knows it’s because of how he grew up but he can’t help it.

“im your….” will prompts him kindly, eyes fond and patient. it makes nico sigh.

“you’re a really great guy. and i’m glad that we’re.. dating.” he takes will’s hands in his own, rubbing his thumbs over his knuckles. “if i can do anything to help you, i’ll do it.”

will giggles happily, squeezing at nico’s hands. he looks into nico’s eyes and nico realizes that the look on his face right now is so similar to the delighted grin he gets when mr spock does something silly in an episode of star trek. nico is proud to have put that smile on his boyfriend’s face, even if he can’t call him that out loud.

will shakes him out of his reverie by speaking. “even if it’s kind of gross and weird?”

nico grins back. “especially then.” he punctuates this point by leaning up on his toes to press a smooch to will’s smiling lips, then another when will relaxes into the kiss. he presses their noses together briefly before going flat footed again. he laces their fingers together like the roots of different trees tangling together over time. their relationship is new, but something about the feelings between them seems old and meaningful. nico hopes it will stay that way for a long time.

☆ im bad at endings akfjs but i hope you like!! sorry this took so long - mod will

#menstruation tw #solangelo #trans will solace #will solace #nico di angelo #pjo #hoo #toa #mod will #iris message

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red-stocking · 7 years

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What in your opinion are the upsides and downsides to both radical feminist theory and Marxist feminist theory? :)

THIS IS AN EXCELLENT QUESTION THANK YOU (as always i apologize for the hella long response)

First, i want to start off by saying that I would really define marxist feminism as kind of a sub-category of radical feminism. There is just such a tremendous overlap in theory, and quite a few radical feminists were also socialists, and vice versa. The real difference is kind of the plan-of-action, the ‘how to actually concretely fight the patriarchy’ part, and then kind of the in-practice cultures of marxist feminism and radical feminism.

I also wanna say that, in a perfect world, marxist feminist is a redundant phrase. Marx, Engels, Lenin and Zetkin all agreed that women’s rights must be part of a socialist program, without it you do not have socialism. That Marxism makes feminism unnecessary, because socialism is already fighting for equal rights for all, power to the people, no worker’s voice is stronger than another’s. There are many women marxists who do believe it is redundant and so they don’t apply the feminist label to themselves, Not because they are at all anti-feminist, and not out of condemnation to feminists of any kind, but because they see their ideas both as encompassing of the women’s struggle and not inclusive at all to the bourgeois feminist movement. If that makes sense. Anyway, I call myself a Marxist feminist because I don’t wish to distance myself from feminism, especially on this site, because I want to engage feminists and i want other feminists to see that we have ideas in common immediately, without me having to explain several marxist pillars. Both marxist and radical feminism look at the roots of womens oppression, they both analyze the social contexts in which patriarchy exists, and both recognize that femininity and masculinity are not innate, biological facts but culturally relative tools of oppression.

So- the major pillars (or what I think they are) of radical feminism are included in marxism/marxist feminism. They differ then, in how we must dismantle the patriarchy. It has never been clear to me what the plan is in radical feminism. As far as I have been able to tell, its just analysis and like, growing consciousness or awareness at the socialization we as women experience. Or I have also seen separatism as a way to escape patriarchy. But otherwise, just suggestions of donating time and money to women’s shelters and charities, but none of these things actually change the system, none will deliver that huge blow that will take patriarchy down for good. If there is a radical feminist that knows differently, please do comment! I am not the most well-read person on the subject, so I could be wrong and just haven’t learned what that plan is yet. But yeah, as far as I know, that’s the plan.

The ultimate goal of marxism is to establish socialism. The idea behind marxism is that society changes when the people’s relationship to the means of production changed, and this is confirmed by what we know of archaeological history. When private property was first developed as a concept (and there was enough surplus from what people were producing to claim ownership on things) that was when women’s oppression began. Prior to that, there was what we call primitive communism, where resources were shared because there was not enough to go around anyway- communism for survival. There were divisions of labor between the sexes in most primitive communist societies (the whole hunter-gatherer idea) but there is a lot of evidence that these divisions were hardly strict, and not as pervasive as once thought. Then of course, under feudalism slavery was developed, and then later, with the transition to capitalism, racism really took hold. (there is a LOT of debate about when racism really ‘began’- but it did more or less coincide with the transition from feudalism to capitalism i believe.)

Sorry, that background was necessary. Basically, social relations in society change when the economics of society change. Marxists then apply that idea to the future of humankind as well. They say, well if we want to dismantle these systems of oppression -sexism, racism, homophobia, ableism, etc) we have to change the relationship of the people to the means of production. We have to dismantle capitalism, and establish socialism. Giving women economic equality is the first step to dismantling patriarchy, and that cannot be done under capitalism.

Now of course, no marxist/marxist feminist believes that all we need to do is have a socialist revolution and then Boom, we r done. After all, we still have the oppression of women, something that could have been dismantled with the transition from feudalism to capitalism, but wasn’t. There needs to be active intervention to ensure women’s equality under socialism after the revolution. After the Russian Revolution (which celebrates its 100th anniversary this year, and started with a women’s strike 100 years ago this wednesday!) there were programs established that gave access to free childcare, healthcare, contraception was legalized, it was easier for women to get divorced, women were given the right to vote and equal status to men was given immediately, and at one point the sciences had an equal representation of women- even almost tipping to give women a majority. This was the nation engaged in the space race with the US, remember. (I dont want to sound like I am in anyway romanticizing the USSR and I absolutely am NOT a Stalinist, but they got a couple things right in the early days and those are worth pointing out).So that is what I consider the ‘upside’ to marxist feminism, or the ‘downside’ to radical feminism. WOW OK ALMOST THERE STAY WITH ME YALL.

The other way in which radical feminism and marxist feminism differ is the communities. Marxism is dominated by men. So fucking dominated by men. i have found a leftist group that is very welcoming, aware of women’s oppression, and I feel very comfortable speaking up in the group- but I am the ‘token’ female, the only one. And this is not just my group, but the national and international organizations my group belongs to. There’s an LGBT Rights pamphlet but they really only talk about the G and the T. And I do know it isn’t out of maliciousness, I have met the guy who wrote that pamphlet. Its just. Out of sight out of mind. The representation of women is just appallingly low. They are aware of it and really do want to change it, they are working on making women’s issues more prominent in discussions, making their spaces more welcoming to women, etc. But at the moment, my sex sometimes can feel like a burden, or extra responsibility. Like I have to represent an entire half of the world by myself. There isnt really a ‘marxist feminist’ community, just marxists.

In radical feminist circles, obviously it is men who are the minority if they are at all present. Its a very different community than marxism. Obviously it’s not perfect, there are issues that the radfem community needs to work out, but I appreciate things like how open i can be about my menstrual cycle, I can vent about men a little more viciously than i would with my male comrades- though they are pretty accepting of anti-men rants, I gotta say. It’s just nice to talk to women and the culture in radical feminism is just- being a woman and an asshole is more acceptable lol. I don’t have to be on my tiptoes with what words I use. I am not even sure how to explain it tbh. So that’s the upside of radical feminism/ the downside of marxism. I talked about a ton of different stuff and touched on a lot more things, so if you or anyone wants to ask me any follow up q’s i welcome asks. anon is always on. sorry for the essay.

#fuck this is over 1300 words #IM SO SORRY #i cant even say i tried to keep it short #i did not try at all #marxism #marxist feminism #feminism #radical feminism #socialism

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elizabethrobertajones · 7 years

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I saw a blog where the person thought Dean was aromatic but I don't agree with them. Although I don't have any proof that he isnt. What do you think?

It’s an interpretation, based off actual stuff in canon which pings someone aromantic’s sense of identification in him in the same way bi people relate to him. First rule of a quiet life for everyone, don’t go telling them you don’t agree as if there is any absolute one reading of Dean Winchester :P

I understand pretty much everywhere they’re coming from with this and agree that it makes a ton of sense with the way that they read him and it’s a really well-developed interpretation. About the only reason I don’t buy into it very much is because it doesn’t ping me in any particular way and I’m not aromantic so it doesn’t mean a whole lot to me, so my interpretation of Dean turns out to have always been fundamentally different, and that’s okay. He doesn’t HAVE to be aromantic but it’s a good reading supported across all of canon and if you want to like it, it’s right there for the taking.

And there’s no proof that he isn’t - everything they say IS a reason - a good one - to have the interpretation, including explaining away most instances someone might think he was romantic with in-depth analysis of his expressed feelings and how those map to the aromantic experience. So it comes down to personal emotional response to Dean if you want to explore that further or not. If reading it doesn’t make you go “huh!” and start imagining further how it shapes Dean then it isn’t something that means very much to you so you can safely put it out of thought and mind.

Personally I find a kind of half-compromise with the reading in my interpretation because Dean has absolutely put off romantic relationships and prioritised family, and creates strong found family feelings with the people he cares about, sort of adopting everyone as siblings or parents, while not forming romantic bonds (e.g. Jo especially where his initial crush disappears into seeing her as a little sister and there is a type of aromanticism where crushes can happen but are very short lived) and it IS the strongest reading of the Siren episode that explains everything and makes it make perfect, non-creepy sense, although I suspect it being written with this in mind was like… 0% of a thing that happened. Like, it’s clear in a huge number of ways that Dean IS functionally acting as if he is aromantic and his fundamental characterisation reflects that. It’s like, the difference between people reading Sam as demisexual and the people who think he just goes a long time between having sex for a multitude of personal reasons and in both cases you could go down a line of thought about valid if temporary responses to trauma expressed in a way that is recognisably asexual/aromantic. Like, that that identity would be there for the taking if they wanted it. Labels are fluid and it helps real people to identify these ways even if it’s a change in their own lives and they previously felt they weren’t. And obviously to people who relate, that is incredibly important to them to read Sam or Dean that way.

I suppose I feel like with Cassie and Lisa in the early seasons we see a strong argument that he feels he CAN’T have romance, and he suppresses it and doesn’t make room for it in his life and tries to turn off the part of himself that wants it (though I think unsuccessfully, and with the usual subtlety of performing Dean and Dean repressing other parts of himself that don’t fit what he wants to be). I think he did genuinely love those two, and that would be enough to convince him to swear off romance for life - his first romance serving as an example in its own episode for why he doesn’t seek out romantic relationships back in season 1, then Dean pining for Lisa over season 3, only to get served another example of why it never works out in season 6.

I think Sam’s optimism about romance has taken exactly the same hits, again, at least for actively pursuing relationships, although I think he’s less harsh on himself for thinking about wanting more or imagining a future where one day he could get married, so people don’t seem to read him as aromantic ever as far as I’ve seen. Dean ALSO in season 10 and 11 had the arc about wanting more - even if he didn’t see how. Plus all the love tropes in the book are thrown at him and Cas, and again that’s a relationship Dean would even more blatantly want to suppress for a dozen other reasons too. Honestly you could split the show into two loose spaces of “Dean in love with Lisa” stuff from season 3-6 and “Dean in love with Cas” stuff from season 7-present and pretty much account for all his feelings in this respect. (With overlap, since Cas did hit him pretty hard and fast :P However for expressing romantic feelings and, like even daring to feel them, he says in 5x17 that when he imagines being happy it’s with Lisa and obviously he hasn’t seen her since season 3, so you have to account the whole time between)…

Anyway I’m too certain in my reading that he’s in love with Cas because that came first and made too much of an impression about how if you cut Dean in half he’s got a whole big squishy core of romantic love for Cas, but I respect the hell out of reading Dean as aromantic.

#Asks #Dean analysis #I hope you aren't going around asking Destiel shippers this hoping someone trashes the reading for you >.>

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cat-with-a-yeehaw-hat · 3 years

Text

In light of pride month (!!!), just wanted to say, I identify most closely as being bisexual (if you couldnt tell from my icon lol)! I wouldn't say I am pan but I do personally view the two as very similar as I am attracted to all genders lol. I haven't really come out to my parents. I think they would still love and accept me, but it's still hard for me nonetheless. I am still kinda in the closet for that reason, and thus feel wary about allowing myself to feel fully apart of the queer community even though I logically know that I am still welcome whether or not I am closeted. Though, it is getting better thanks to being so fortunate as to surrounding myself with queer friends. It's funny, I find myself most generally drawn to those who are trans and/or nonbinary, and the fact that it's not even intentional is extremely validating!!

In terms of gender-- last summer, I was out fishing with my dad and a friend when I had the very sudden epiphany in my head- "what if I used she/they pronouns?" And I kinda went full send. At least, with my friends, not my family obviously (good luck explaining that one to them). Since then I've been trying to figure out what exactly I am, and am doing so on the basis of not dysphoria, but euphoria, which for me is much more helpful. For instance, I don't think I'd be cisgender if I was this euphoric about wearing a binder lmao

Still coming to terms with it and a lot of inwards introspection. I don't associate myself with being trans, and I never have, really. Labeling myself as non-binary seems more accurate, but still scary, as if I have to "commit" to it somehow. However I do feel most confident in being labeled as genderqueer, more specifically a demigirl. I identify partially with being a girl, but also partially with being agender. It's pretty 50/50, actually. I feel relatively detached from being afab, but there isnt a significant amount of dissociation to create a real dysphoria. If someone were to call me a girl, my instant thought would be "ehh I mean, like I guess"

It makes sense with the she/they pronouns I use, too. I'll be honest, though, I don't like that the term demigirl is a noun, especially ending in "girl", but I do connect closely with the definition.

On top of all that, to a lesser extent I question whether I am also aro/ace? There are certain platonic relationship(s) I have that are very important to me and probably stretch the boundaries of what a normal close friendship looks like that's probably aro/ace in nature. However the thought of having a romantic partner someday is appealing to me, so idk really.

Anyway wow haha I was expecting this to be like two or three sentences and not a full out journal entry, but! Tldr; I am bisexual and most likely nonbinary?/genderqueer/demigirl. Thank you for reading this far it means a lot! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

#rant #pride month #also ik many people think it is silly or unnecessary but #I'm actually pretty thankful that there are so many specific terms for gender and sexuality and things having to do with that #it makes me feel like I'm not just some weirdo like there are other people that feel this exact thing #it just feels very validating

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00011110001010 · 4 years

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Different dosage of LSD explained. From 20ug-1500ug. Great for every tripper to know

So i was surfing around the webs absorbing different info about LSD (fascinating lil chemical isnt it?) and i stumbled across this. I found it very useful for explaning what LSD generally does around different doses of UG.

Source: Google: Rollitup LSD Dosage. First link.

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20 mics- threshold. Some slight euphoria and body high.

30 mics- threshold, same as 20 mics

40 mics- obviously feeling Lucy's effects a little bit but again no visuals even though may see some

60 mics- = The typical low quality blotter. Body high with "under water like feeling". Lights are brighter, colors are slightly enhanced and some after imaging and trails. This dosage makes for a good time, even though it isn't considered tripping. Lasts longer and is similar to a a gram of shrooms.

90 mics- Bright colors, surfaces start to move, warp or breathe slightly.

Confused or reminiscent thoughts. You start to think more. Change of short term memory leads to continual distractive thought patterns. Your brain starts to speed up and you become more aware of everything.

110 mics- A hit of some really good lsd.

Visuals are getting a lot more obvious now. "Ripples" over laying your field of vision. Patterns from all different cultures seen on walls, surfaces, faces etc. Closed eye hallucinations become more apparent.

150 mics- This is the main dosage people try to shoot for if they are not that experienced to get LSD's effects without freaking out. This dose is usually 1-2 hits of good, legit LSD.

Effects are a lot like 110 micrograms but more profound.

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(incraments I mention will stay the same but the effects of upping it 50 mics becomes more intense than above the line.)

200 mics- This is where things can get powerful. Your mind is racing. Beautiful colors are everywhere. Closed eye visuals are very apparent at this point. Life changing, spiritual experiences or realization can happen at this dose. If you are a noob to lsd this dose is simply too high for you. Many people can handle it quite well but some may freak out.

250 mics- This dose is the dose Albert Hoffman, the creator of LSD tried when he first dosed himself to see what LSD's effects were like. The peak of a 250 mic acid trip can be VERY intense or even scary but like any LSD trip. once the peak effects ware off, the more comfortable the trip is. When the comedown started, he was fine, and he became a rockstar. Closed eye visuals are amazing at this dose.

300 mics- your getting into heavy territory. Still not considered by most to be a heavy dose, but thats only because they know where most people including themselves draw the line if they are experienced. Its alot like 250 mics.

400 mics- most people would never take this much unless they knew the acid they have in their possesion and really wanted to get pretty far out there.

This is why you dont see 200+ mic hits around.

There is some confusing of the senses (i.e. seeing sounds as colors etc.) Time distortions and `moments of eternity`. Body movement becomes difficult and disorienting.

There is a heightened sense of awareness of one's own feelings and drive. People usually report this dose as thought provoking and life changing. For some, their ability to discern is somewhat thrown off. More likely to respond to suggestive stimuli. It is recommended that there be a sitter to watch over the tripper just in case he/she would do something that could be a potential hazard.

500 mics- Strong hallucinations and visuals. objects morphing into other objects (both closed and open eye visuals). Destruction or multiple splitting of the ego. (Things start talking to you, or you find that you are feeling contradictory things simultaneously) Some loss of reality. Time becomes meaningless.

Pretty much where even some of the most experienced people draw the line. Your vision is almost completely enveloped by fractal patterns, and if you were to stare at some pavement or something, it looks like you can see to the end of eternity. Miles and miles of visual depth. There are many subtypes of these: Mandelbrots, spirals, wave interference patterns,etc.

700 mics- Out of body experiences and extra-sensory perception type phenomena. Blending of the senses. Visuals containing imagery from Hindu, Aztec, Mayan, Native American, Indian and African cultures are quite common.

Most people who talk of taking a ten strip usually dont have very potent acid(though it is good), so 550 to 700 is where they end up. This is also where "more acid" becomes less important because the effects are very similar to an even higher dose.

1000 mics- Most people will never go this high. Only shamans and those who really seek will go this high. If you had a "two hits and you are floored" type of lsd, or 100 mics and up hits, this is where a ten strip would put you. You basically cant see anything but visuals, your mind as a whole is infinately connected with its self and your external environment. Amazing things happen on this dose no matter what if you use LSD as an entheogen. It would scare most people shitless because they were not ready for that dose. Some people will think they are dying. Many would end up dialing 911 if they were alone and could read the numbers on the phone.

1500 mics- Very few people have used this much lsd.

It is VERY psychologically dangerous for some people to do this dose. You can no longer really see your own hand in front of your face. Your cognition and vision are both bathed in the same light. Some people forget to breath frequently, and id imagine alot of people would pass out. You will loose your ego, but you will meet many organizers of human cognition in this egoless place. They are much smarter than human beings. "they" *are self conscious neurology.

They are the mathematicians behind consciousness and even the visuals themselves.

Total loss of visual connection with reality. The senses cease to function in the normal way. Total loss of ego. Merging with space, other objects, or the universe. The loss of reality becomes so severe that it defies explanation. The earlier levels are relatively easy to explain in terms of measureable changes in perception and thought patterns. This level is different in that the actual universe within which things are normally perceived, ceases to exist! Satorienlightenment (and other such labels).

A dose 700 mics and above will show anyone some very profound things. Doses like 500 mics and above have changed many lives in both positive and negative ways.

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