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sophieinwonderland · 9 months

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So are you going to respond to any of the SN stuff? You did actually make everyone's life hell over the accusations of one person, blew it completely out of proportion and caused a significant amount of distress for many people for many, many months, broke apart a friend group by pushing it when no one was even bothering you, until someone was forced to respond, actively wished distress on a group of people that weren't actually doing anything, and some of your followers may benefit from the space but would be scared to check it out because of the things you said

Someone ended up in the hospital because of you, and it's all come out as... really not that big of a deal? Outright false in a lot of cases

I kind of agree with the whispers going around, you should address and apologize

Anti endos aren't the only ones capable of mistakes but at least you've been given your apologies

Now what about the harm you did? Do they not deserve apologies?

I am sorry for the harm this drama caused, and for any allegations that were truly false.

I also appreciate finally getting to hear the other side after months of silence. (I don't know what you mean about apologies that were given to me though. I haven't seen any. But unlike some people, I don't obsessively monitor every blog I have blocked. I'm not looking for apologies either, I just genuinely have no idea what you're talking about.)

I don't fully know what to believe though. I don't know what parts of their claims are misrepresentations. Either unintentional through biased lenses or through intentionally trying to make themselves look better. I found Survivor's Network document with their responses here if anyone wants to read their side of the story.

But I would advise people reading to keep in mind that these are biased interpretations of events. For example, let's see their accusations against me in November to try to "add context" for the admin's gross misgendering posts against me.

These are quite the claims about me. Let's analyze them for a moment. With links and images from that period that I believe these claims are referring to!

Alters are hallucinations???

I talked a lot about hallucinations and connections with dissociative disorders in November, including this post:

It's absolutely wild how someone read me saying "headmates aren't hallucinations" and twisted this into "alters are hallucinations."

Anti-endos are transmeds???

This, I assume, is a reference to an ask about parallels between the two.

This is not literally saying that anti-endos are also transmeds.

But it is making a comparison between the two. And one that, frankly, I feel the admin's misgendering post only further reinforced as true.

Instructions on how to dissociate???

This claim, so far as I can tell, was likely a response to me sharing a link to a switching guide.

How horrible and evil of me to provide a guide to help systems switch! /s 🙄

Saying Transgender Mental Health is "Written" by the APA???

Again, this is wrong.

The topic was about the book being PUBLISHED by the APA. Because certain people (who happened to be mods of the Survivors' Network) were arguing it's misinformation to say that a book Published by APA Publishing is published by the APA.

I also didn't claim this book "proved endogenic plurality."

Did I make fun of the talking point? Yeah. As you can see below. I won't deny it and I don't regret it. It's a ridiculous talking point that deserved to be ridiculed.

You can see my full, drawn-out conversation here.

While the difference between "published" and "written" might seem petty, it's literally what this whole conversation was about. No, the APA didn't write it themselves, but their publishing division reviewed and published it, which does make it a credible academic source.

This is an objective fact and it's ridiculous that people argued so hard against it.

Taking Things With a Health Grain of Salt

I am sure that some parts of their accounts of what happened in their server are true.

But I have no way of knowing what is or isn't.

What I do know is that, just comparing their interpretations of my own posts to the actual reality shows a willingness to stretch and manipulate the truth in order to make themselves look better and their enemies worse.

So the question that I have to ask is "how much can I believe what these people who have lied about me so flagrantly are saying about themselves and others in this exact same document?"

And it's not just contradictions with my own posts...

Contradictions In Expedience of Fixing the Name In The Dox

One part of the document claims that the doxing was an accident. That they user had taken the name of a fictional introjected character as their legal name, and the mods had no way of knowing. Completely fair and understandable mistake.

But... This is their presentation of events.

The instant it was brought to our attention (via another callout post) that we had unintentionally doxxed the user, we immediately changed the document to no longer have the user’s legal name. It was completely unintentional on the part of moderators, as can be attested by the alleged victims in the allegations.

The instant it was brought to their attention, they claim.

Let's compare that to the report of the doxxed user.

I want to stress that, after I found out about the callout I DMed Spike informing him that it was my legal name. He didn't respond. Half an hour later I sent a message in the Book Club server about it, which he deleted, and banned me. That is two separate occasions I told him. Three hours later somebody else told him to remove my legal name from the document, and Spike said he would, and claimed to have had no idea it was my legal name. This was hours after I had told him it was my legal name (twice). From then, it took twelve hours for the callout to have my legal name removed.

This is... quite the huge discrepancy in their stories. And the document doesn't address this. It doesn't mention the two times the user allegedly tried to contact Spike. It doesn't mention the 12 hours after the other person allegedly informed Spike and Spike said he would remove the name. It only says they "instantly" fixed it after a callout post.

@/AWiltedRoseConfession's Response

In addition to these points, I would also recommend reading the response from the ones responsible for many of the more recent allegations for further context.

As for Followers "Benefiting" from that Server

In the above post, @/awiltedroseconfession describes being at their best and healthiest before entering the server. After joining, their health deteriorated due to the community there, and they've managed to make a rebound since leaving. They're obviously just one system, but the space clearly was harmful for them.

And I feel I need to talk about the system you referenced who was hospitalized.

We used to be mutuals. Not close friends or anything. We didn't talk much. I don't know much about their personal lives.

But I know towards the end of last year, they started hanging around members of the Survivors' Network. At least by March, they were members. I don't know when they joined exactly.

Between March and July, in a server surrounded by people making constant hate posts about the me, their syscourse blog seemed to develop a near-obsession. Between reblogs of my posts, callouts and other posts mentioning me, my name was mentioned over 90 times in that period. These included posts calling me dangerous, racist, transphobic, telling me to get banned, etc. And that's not including vague posts that avoided mentioning my name or the callout posts on their positivity blog that spread the zoophilia rumors.

And in all that time, I said nothing. I didn't respond to anything they said about me and their condition only seemed to worsen.

And when I finally did mention them, what seemed to upset them so much was...

I mentioned their name in a few posts. (Again, after literal months of them talking about me by name.)

I said their allegations of racism against another tulpa system was an "attack," which they denied. (I think most people would agree that yes, that's an attack.)

I made a post about how I felt calling themselves "pro-tulpa, anti-tulpa terminology" while calling themselves "syscourse unaligned" was contradictory (you can't be pro-tulpa and endo-neutral/unaligned) and an excuse to make anti-tulpa posts in pro-tulpa tags even after tulpamancers asked them to stop.

I responded to an ask saying, essentially that I didn't know who was responsible for reporting a banned tulpa system and it could have been anyone. Though I did mention that it was possible they could have done it given their recent interactions and telling me to get banned in the past, I pointed out that it could have been others as well and I didn't know.

I pointed out that they shouldn't tag someone who had them blocked because that made it easy for the person who blocked them to be harassed and falsely reported. (They responded to this post by tagging me. SMH.)

I had no way of knowing the effect these comments would have on someone who had spent months hurling far worse insults at me while I didn't interact with them at all.

I should also mention that I had blocked them by this point, so the only reason they saw these posts was because a "friend" showed them.

Looking back, I can't help but wonder how much their server impacted this.

Even in the document itself, it acknowledges that the mockery of me was frequent in that space and that they're largely fine with it and don't see mockery as a problem. And while they say that it's okay because it's confined to the server, it confirms other reports from multiple members that this sort of behavior was encouraged by the SN.

It's not hard to see how months in this space with a friendgroup who is encouraging this sort of harmful behavior could result in someone's growing obsession and hatred with my blog that continued even during periods where I was blocked or was blocking them. Especially when the SN is taking posts out of context to further demonize me with lies as demonstrated above.

Can you tell me that that you think that was a healthy space for them? I won't deny that my few posts about that system (which were only a fraction as severe as the things they had said about me in the months prior) might have been the final push... but their blog shows a spiral of them becoming angrier and more toxic over months leading up to that, likely stoked by so-called friends spreading the same lies about me I just debunked. And who ultimately sent them the links to my posts which caused their breakdown.

If this is what the Survivors' Network does to people... I would sincerely hope my posts have discouraged people from joining.

Conclusion

Ultimately, I don't know what the truth is about what happened in that server and never will.

I know the "truth" of the people who were hurt by the server. I know the "truth" of the Survivors' Network mods as they state it. But what's actually true is something I'll never know.

As much as I'd like to give the benefit of the doubt, I can't possibly trust the words of people who have lied about me, twisted my words and attacked me over and over again for nearly two years. People who are actively lying about me RIGHT NOW in this same document.

There are some things I think the accusers may have misrepresented or misunderstood. But there are others I think the Survivors' Network has twisted and lied about to make the accusers look bad and defend themselves, just as they did with my public own posts.

And I do want to stress that these are public. If they're this willing to lie about things I can easily verify and disprove, what would they say about things I can't?

I can't parse through their lies and find where the actual truth is.

I do believe them when they say they've actually been hurt by this. And for that, I'm willing to stop talking about the unproven allegations about the server going forward. But their willingness to lie about me even in this document calls into question much of their accounts.

(But I still might want to make one more post addressing the statements from the admin about me going after "made-up oppression points..." because... WOW!)

#syscourse #pro endo #pro endogenic #system discourse #survivors network #survivors' network #survivor's network

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sun-to-my-luna · 4 years

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-𝓛𝓲𝓪𝓻 -

Her fiance at the beginning begins to explain how he can’t believe he found his missing piece. That person that has “a one of a kind beauty with a glow that makes the moon look like a sad chipped tooth”

Followed afterwards her fiance in this scene is going to give Camila a necklace because they’re apparently (based on context clues) celebrating their recent “engagement.”

This is where the symbolism begins. As he cheekily describes the type of person he found himself with Camila takes a huge gulp of wine. A sign that shows she’s uncomfortable with what he’s saying or feeling guilty about something.

The bus boy “accidentally” spills a drink onto Camila’s fiance and gets his expensive suit dirty. The fiance begins to yell at the bus boy. Camila becomes fascinated putting all her attention onto the bus boy.

She falls in love with the bus boy at first sight and then he leaves a note on the table for Camila.

Since the “Liar” cover art has to do with cupid. The heart that forms after the buss boy cleans the drink he spilled on the table represents “falling in love at first sight.” In other words the drink that the bus boy spilled was cupid’s arrow.

The buss boy already knew Camila. He spilled the drink on purpose because he knew that she was in love with him and not Reese. He knew she was making a mistake. Therefore was trying to prevent her from marrying a guy she’s not interested in.

In this situation Camila is shocked and nervous because of her fiance’s reaction but she was smiling at the buss boy while he was yelling. That meant that she liked what he did for her.

“Oh no, there you go, you're making me a liar I kinda like it though.”

After meeting with the buss boy she can’t say that she “loves” the necklace her fiance gave her. Why? because that would be lying. She’s chocking because her body is literally preventing her from spilling out lies, and wants to speak out the truth.

“Oh no, there you go, you're making me a liar Got me begging you for more.”

Then she wakes up in her mansion next to her fiance to find the television turned on.

Parodying what ALL tabloids do every time celebrities are rumored to be together. In a sense think of her fiance as a “PR” partnership. Her character is in love with someone else and she’s not with Reese Witherspoon because she loves him. She looks at the note that the buss boy left behind because she can’t stop thinking about them. The other thing that’s important to pay attention to is the fact that she’s “living” inside a mansion.

So, she wakes up and she remembers that the buss boy gave her a note at the table while he spilled the drink. At this point I’m going to assume that the buss boy had already known Camila before she got with Reese because she sneaks out of the room as if she was keeping a secret away from him.

We further on can see her actually running away from Reese in circles around the house, looking at the note, but pushing it away. Proving that she is keeping a secret from him. The secret being her relationship with the buss boy that she’s having behind his back in secrecy. This next scene is extremely important, and brings me back to why I said her living in a mansion is something you should pay attention to.

Camila is caught cleaning the mansion, she lives in, herself with her normal regular comfortable sleeping gown instead of the cleaning staff. If this was a normal everyday situation there wouldn’t have been a reason for her to be shocked if he caught her cleaning. However at this point I gathered one of two things.

Wealth, Money and Fame.

Reese Witherspoon symbolizes wealth, money and fame itself. He bought her all those materialistic items. He has all these maids, cooking staff, and butlers. He has this big ass mansion and he expects her to dress the part and act accordingly so to her new rich lifestyle. That’s why he bought her what to wear and the necklace at the beginning of the music video. Going back to the reporters in the music video. At the beginning when he was describing her I felt like in itself was mimicking or mocking fake love and affection because what he said was cheesy and she wasn’t interested in it. (Kind of like her posts about Shawn, and Matthew.)

She doesn’t care about money, wealth, or fame.

That fact that in this scene she just smiles and looks at him and feels comfortable wearing what she’s got on while she’s cleaning shows that she just wants to be herself. She doesn’t want to wear what he buys her to show off. She just wants to be herself. Therefore in that moment at the start of the MV when he asked her what she thought.. she was making a decision between Real Love or Wealth, Money, and Fame.

Then we get a flashback to where we started except this time she comes to a realization. She tries to change the outcome but it’s the same. The heart on the table still appears and the buss boy is still there. “I said I won’t get too close but I can’t stop it.” She starts to crack and let’s out a bit of the truth and as she does she feels relief. Things start to get better. The truth starts to spread, and people bring out their real colors.

Reese gets confused about her rejection, but Buss Boy has hearts in his eyes meaning that he appreciates her courage to be honest.

BUT then she gets crushed by an elephant. She didn’t say the full honest truth and this is an idiom for “there’s still an elephant in the room.”

She once again wakes up except this time it’s not just with a note. She wakes up with both men in her bed. The buss boy she’s actually in love with never leaves her mind and wakes up with her while Reese ( her wealth, money and fame) lays next to her fast asleep. The more people talk about them the more anxiety Camila seems to have every time she sees the news reports.

She gets terrified of the fact that Reese could wake up and see him being with her in the same bed and starts running away from her thoughts and problems again. With the note in her hand. This could very well be interpreted in many ways.

Considering that Reese represents fame she’s scared that her real relationship that’s a secret will be discovered so she runs away from it but she can’t stop thinking about them. That’s why she’s continuously running around in circles in Reese’s mansion.

“But what if he kissed and what if I like it?”

Changes the lyrics to “she” in this part and the meaning changes, but in the music video it stays the same because the Buss Boy is her secret relationship. I know a lot of people before me already pointed out that Flamingos = Gay... so I’m going to point you in a different direction. She is among a flock of Flamingos, and they are believed to be a powerful spirit animal.

Reference: “Spiritually, if this spirit animal comes up– you need to listen to your heart and follow what it says in all that you do. This is because it will assist you in choosing the true path of life. In case, you consider this bird to be your spirit animal, then you should let out your emotions. It is necessary to vent out your feelings & expressions to the entire world without any modifications. You should also allow these feelings to help you lead to your life path. Listening to your heart will allow you to derive proper solutions to overcome all problems in life. If you find it tough to come up with a decision, then you should allow your heart to take over. This spirit animal teaches you to follow sincerely your heart to enable you to derive the best results.”

Again, she’s looking at the note, trying to follow her heart and making a choice between Real Love and Wealth. (Which follows the same pattern in Shameless, and another song.)

He comes out showing off his butlers and staff and again the stupid thing he bought her to wear. Then we go once again back to the start of mv where she’s thinking about things and coming into realizations. She spews out even more truth, but doesn’t get hit by the elephant again. However she does get hit by people riding their bikes.

It seems like no matter how hard she tries or wants to say the truth she can’t. That’s why she’s getting attacked by elephants and drones, and people because when she does they stop her from continuing to live by the truth. The more she resists saying the truth though the more the truth haunts her.

It’s interesting to me that this scene is included with the whole, “trouble in paradise.” The whole world is watching her fake relationship crumble because she doesn’t want to be in it anymore and she just wants to choose who she really loves. I think that this song is ultimately aimed at Roger or her team who make her seem like she’s a “Liar.”

We have her here once again laying next to Reese (wealth), but she’s surrounded by thoughts of the person she really loves so she’s trying to burn the love she has for the other person she shouldn’t love.

While in that process she actually ends up burning herself, and running away from the situation. The “Truth Police” actually end up catching her and want to know why she did what she did. The truth police mention in my opinion could be someone that intervenes with her life. Someone close to her.

Anyways, Wealth and Fame starts investigating and questioning her. She starts getting really nervous that they’re going to find out the truth as to why she went insane and burned down the mansion. Even though they probably already know as she looks over at the Buss Boy who is pretending to read the note he obviously didn’t give to her himself.

She won’t tell them the truth so she starts screaming at the Buss Boy, and blames him for giving her the feelings that she’s feeling, but the Buss Boy stands his ground and acts as if saying, “is that so?”

Reese is surprised and presumably seems as if he’s asking what’s going on. The Buss Boy and Camila are arguing back and forth, but they start dancing and get really close.

At that point the truth was discovered and Reese was devastated and angry. The lie detector showed that she really loves the Buss Boy, “her real love” and not Reese. The person she was pretending to be in a relationship with. The person that bought her fame and wealthy things.

In the end she wakes up in her normal house, with her normal clothes, and inside her normal bed. Without pretending to be someone else or in love with somebody that she’s not in love with. She loves Disney, and the bird to me says that’s her real fairy tale ending.

In the end she chose her real love over everything and will always choose love over everything. But also remember how I kept saying she can’t stop thinking about the person she really loves? That’s what the note is about. She only thinks about the person she actually is in love with. Not the person she shows she’s with.

“All I do the whole day through is dream of you.”

#gaymila #camren #camila and lauren

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natsumiheart · 3 years

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I look at a lot of stuff on Pinterest and one of people's reasons on why Oumasai is toxic is because Kokichi made Shuichi want to kill himself? Something tells me this is wrong but I'm not sure what proves it wrong. (I mean they also point out that Kokichi mocks Shuichi for mourning Kaede-) I'm asking about this because its been eating at me and trying to prove that it isn't toxic.

Hooo boy this is gonna be long so buckle up! I’m sorry I couldn’t make this shorter I just really go all ace attorney mode when it comes to this type of stuff.

Sorry if there are any mistakes or some parts are too confusing my internet might go soon so I can’t proofread and edit anymore!

I think what they’re referring to is how Shuichi got really depressed after discovering that the world had ended, but how can it be Kokichi’s fault? He literally wasn’t the mastermind, he didn’t make all that stuff up. Heck, he was the first one to even see that motive and on his own it was way worse to deal with. His behaviour was so out of line that Kaito got fed up with him and punched him for the nonsense he was saying.

The motive was supposed to make everyone fall to despair, it’s purpose was legit what happened to Miu where she NEEDED to go out to help out the world before everyone was gone. The motive was MEANT to be seen to make the game “More interesting” but Kokichi didn’t let the others see it until he finally convinced them that he’s the mastermind. If he didn’t the Mastermind would find a way to show it to them in a different way and there’s no knowing what could happen, and if he showed it to them himself they’re bound to believe what he’s saying considering the fact it’s obvious he already knew about this. He took that motive to basically make everyone give up on trying escape by killing each other, since as the mastermind he said “The game’s over now! There’s no point.” to prevent another murder from happening. AND IT WORKED, for a long while no murder took place but of course the actual mastermind couldn’t just sit idly and let the game be “boring” (Which was Kokichi’s goal) So they made a flashback light that Maki ended up seeing and calling the others to see, and the flashback light made everyone including Maki believe that Kokichi was a remnant of despair. They wanted to get rid of Kokichi for messing with the game and taking over their position, and this was their way to do it.

So, after all that, if others see that KOKICHI was the reason Shuichi wanted to give up for a second there. Then I really don’t know what to say. Shuichi has went through so much already because of the killing game and Kokichi’s attempt to stop the killing game is not the reason he wanted to give up. It was because he lost a lot his friends and because the world was most probably all gone. At that point he had nowhere to go back to and everything he has worked so hard for was for nothing because there’s nothing left. Kokichi didn’t do anything to Shuichi for him to be the sole reason he suddenly wanted to die. His depression got the best of him after being all alone with his thoughts for a couple of days, not eating or moving just sleeping the entire time. If anyone is at fault it’s the mastermind for making up such a cruel lie that even made Gonta commit murder to “save” the others.

And for the mocking him about Kaede’s death part (Which is literally one line after Shuichi removed his hat) Kokichi at that point had witnessed that the killing game was real and it was going to get him eventually. He wasn’t alright either and he had already started to make everyone hate him, acting more hostile and annoying so they all stay away (since anyone who groups up everyone or brings them hope will end up like Kaede did) He didn’t want to be the next Kaede or Rantaro. It started with that line but in the end he cut off all ties he had (if he had any) in chapter 4 so that they have no doubt that he is only full of malice and that he is indeed the mastermind.

“But how do you know that he has been devising that plan since back then?” Remember the “horse a” message? the first letters were added to it right before the next morning after the first trial where Shuichi entered the dining room without his hat. If you don’t believe me, here’s a paragraph from well written wiki!

Sometime between the end of the first trial and the morning of the next day, Kokichi would begin to devise of a plan to get everyone to think that he was the mastermind of this killing game, willing to be seen as evil for the sake of ending this madness. To begin this plan, he would leave a subtle message in the courtyard "Horse A", which he would later fill in with more letters as the killing game continued.

And here’s the source if you wanna check for yourself: Click here!

If it wasn’t already obvious, Kokichi is a LIAR. And his biggest lie of being the mastermind started after he saw the deaths of Rantaro and Kaede. That first chapter affected Kokichi a lot, he lied and lied to hide it but he was shaken up by the sudden death of Rantaro and was devastated by Kaede’s death. Though all he could say at her last moments is that she wasn’t boring. Because he knew, if he was truthful? Eyes would be on him immediately and he would be in danger.

Kokichi did his best to be the person he would hate the most, he lies so much yet says he hates liars, then says that’s a lie. Making everyone confused as to what the hell is right or wrong in what he’s saying. But he couldn’t keep up his facade forever especially when he was starting to get interested and even attached to Shuichi. In one completely optional scene in chapter 3 he legit says that he doesn’t want Rantaro to be the one who gets resurrected (Though he probably was more interested in him because he obviously knew more than he let on in chapter 1. Asking everyone about the Ultimate Hunt when no one else remembered it until they say the flashback lights, his fight with Hoshi, and how he was so sure that he WILL end the killing game. Kokichi even had his effigy in his room because he saw it as a clue or evidence that can help later, he needed to know what he was hiding and what his talent was.) and despite all that when Shuichi asks why he doesn’t want Rantaro to be the one, he says “Because you’d rather have Kaede back.” Of course he writes it off as a lie, but then right after that he SHOWS Shuichi his interest in Rantaro saying he might be working for the mastermind. The exact lines are:

Kokichi: “What if Rantaro was working for the mastermind? Bringing him to life might be a bad idea.”

(Trying to make Shuichi believe that he really did lie there about his reason why he didn’t want Rantaro to come back by making him believe that THIS was the real reason. I don’t know exactly if he entertained the idea or not, but he most probably did not believe Rantaro to be the mastermind here. He might have even made up that killing game anime he was talking about. Its’ real for us but might not be for them.)

Shuichi: “N-no that’s idiotic! Rantaro couldn’t have been working for the mastermind...:

“But is it really impossible? We only knew Rantaro for a short time. He did seem as though he was kind of used to the killing game”

The “used to” in that sentence was highlighted. THIS was Kokichi’s intention, to make Shuichi realise that Rantaro knew more than he let on. Which reinforces Kokichi’s interest in him. But Shuichi fell for Kokichi’s trap earlier and didn’t notice at all that he slipped the fact Rantaro would give more information.

It’s confusing I know, Kokichi’s thing is mind games after all. But what I’m trying to say is that for Kokichi’s goal to figure out this killing game and how to end it Rantaro would be most ideal to bring back but he just wanted to tell Shuichi that he’d rather have Kaede instead just so he’s happy. The evidence for that is how even after he says its a lie he lowkey shows Shuichi he’s more interested in Rantaro instead. It reminds me of those scenes where he says “WAAAHH I THOUGHT YOUD KNOW I HATE COFFEE” then right after he’s like “I’m tired of all that crying can I have a cup of coffee please.” Or “I actually can’t taste anything!” then “anyway my faves are spice and sugar!”

Kokichi did say something insensitive when he said “Is it cause Kaede died or whatever?” but it didn’t bother Shuichi at all he just brushed it off since he saw how he acted in the trial earlier. It wasn’t a surprise to him. Kaede’s death affected Kokichi too, and that line doesn’t match up with what he said about bringing Kaede back.

You never know what’s the truth and what’s a lie with Kokichi, everything he says contradicts each other. So how is it that all these people who hate Kokichi and call him toxic take his worst lines or moments as the truth when the context of his entire character and motive says otherwise. When he had to crush Shuichi the most so he believes that he is full of malice without a single doubt. To make him believe he was really the mastermind immediately, so he doesn’t go all detective on him like he usually does.

Kokichi’s actions were terrible yes but they were LIES he did it for a purpose that’s what makes him a grey character when in a KILLING GAME. It’s shown in salmon team that under normal circumstances the two would get along and Shuichi would want to learn more about Kokichi and his true self.

TLDR; Leave these children be, they were in a killing game. No ship is toxic unless it’s shown that person was terrible / messed up from the start and would hurt whoever they’re with. Those users just obviously don’t like Kokichi and hate seeing him with anyone XD and it’s obvious with how they blame him over a motive Monokuma/ the Mastermind has created and straight up ignoring the intentions behind his actions.

Now without evidence and stuff, truly speaking from my heart from here with full on bias XD

I get hating a character or a ship but oh my god can you not spread misinformation for others to feel obligated to agree? Toxic is such a strong word and I hate how people keep associating it with every ship they dislike. Making others feel bad for what comforts them! If Saiouma was so toxic how come it makes so many people happy? How come it makes people literally calm down, stop crying, and feel warm. Saiouma is one of the most adorable and realistic ships out there... Don’t ruin it for everyone else just because you don’t agree with how we feel. Just say you’re not a fan and move on!

Anyway don’t worry your ship is very valid! You can continue supporting them without feeling any guilt and if anyone calls it toxic they can see me so I break their kneecaps.

#rant #tw suicidal thoughts #oumasai #saiouma #shuichi saihara #kokichi ouma #danganronpa #drv3 #new danganronpa v3 #ndrv3 #i came to save a draft of a drawing to post tonight then saw this ask #AND I LEGIT SPENT 3 HPURS JUST WRITING AND PROOF READING AND STUFF PFPFP #call my otp toxic and youre dead ya hear #hope my answer helped you!#ill post the drawing tomorrow this is more important

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gottawriteanegoortwo · 3 years

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Mermay - Dilliam - An Introduction

Happy Mermay!

William discovers that Mark’s girlfriend is hiding a secret known as ‘Damien’. He’d never guess the truth.

Word Count: 2,807 (I got a little carried away, and this wasn’t even what I intended to write!)

Even if William had known Mark and Celine for two years, he always felt like he was on the outside of the group.

(Aside from feeling like the third wheel as Mark and Celine had been in a steady relationship since Mark first introduced his childhood friend to his girlfriend)

Mark, Celine, and her family seemed to have a secret. Whenever they would chat, there would be mention of "Damien" in passing. But when William tried to ask for context, he was never given it. Mark and Celine would conveniently slide the topic elsewhere to avoid answering the question, while he was in no position to ask her parents. All William could gather was that Damien travelled but occasionally returned to the family home. Was he a businessman, forever on the roam? Was he a soldier like William? Was he family or a friend? After several years of being left in the dark, he had accepted that he'd never learn the truth.

In January, he had been sent overseas with the military as part of a peacekeeping mission. Even if there were opportunities for video calls, the three decided to write letters to give William something to do while on duty and to make the time go by a little faster. The young Colonel realised something interesting - by Celine's fourth letter, she had mentioned Damien. He guessed that the vagabond must have returned while the soldier was overseas. He noted in his next letter that he was surprised Celine willingly mentioned this mysterious figure (William? Bitter? Of course not!). As though adding to the mystery, the letter he received in reply was a curious one:

"I'm sorry I couldn't explain it before. Damien is my brother, but he's very shy. He doesn't like others knowing about him without being told first. I have told him about you and he's rather interested in what you're doing."

William was FLOORED. He'd known Celine for two FULL years and there had never been mention of a sibling?? He didn't remember a family photo with unfamiliar faces. Deciding it was a better argument to have when he was home, he instead crammed two letters into the one envelope - one for Celine, one for Damien. If the brother was secretive, it might be best to prove that William was a trustworthy friend. Friendly, short letters would be a good way to start.

For the next two months, the letters became a great distraction from his duties. Mark was asking William for advice on how to propose. Celine was updating William on the house she and Mark had bought, including sending photos of the ocean just at their doorstep. Damien, while proving that he was a secretive individual, wrote short letters about himself. The mysterious brother kept to himself, and it got William wondering about how shy Damien was. It was endearing, in a way. William accepted that he was wrong to take the news so harshly at first. Celine was merely doing right by her brother.

It wasn't long after William sent his letters in response that his squad was ambushed. The attackers were defeated, but not without William having his leg broken in the process, among other things. He was sent to a local hospital before it was decided that getting him home would be more beneficial. Any letters that arrived at the base for William were instead returned to sender, as the soldier was being transferred too frequently while being treated to determine where he would be at a given moment.

It was June by the time William arrived home. Not even a medical boot and a crutch could dampen his spirits. Mark's hug of relief nearly knocked them both down, but Celine joining the hug successfully toppled them over William's rucksack as they erupted into laughs. The couple gave William the grand tour of their new home. It was as charming and elegant as Mark would like, while secluded from frequent public activity as Celine desired. Not only that, the house was near a cliff edge, which allowed a beautiful view of the ocean. William took in this view as he sat in the living room with a glass of water.

"Will?" Celine's voice stirred him from his daze. "I know you've done a lot of walking to get here and you're likely tired but… Would you like to meet Damien today?"

"Would I like to what?" William repeated blankly, a dumbfounded expression on his face.

"Your idea of sending him letters worked a treat. He asked me every day if there was a new letter for him. He's very curious about you."

"From what you told me, I thought he would have been gone by now." William's observation had Celine shaking her head.

"He waited to see you. I think learning about your injuries worried him." Celine's gaze lifted briefly to the water before she added, "He'll understand if he needs to wait until tomorrow -"

"No, no. I'll admit I've been curious to meet him as well. All this time you've had a brother and no one could tell me. What time will he arrive?"

"Actually, he's already here. Come on. I'll show you. There's one more part of the house you haven't seen."

William was fully expecting there to be a secret basement. Instead, he was led out to the back garden. It was small and neat, complete with a small wall to give some semblance of shelter. It looked like it belonged to a farmland cottage, especially given the gate at the bottom. Celine unlocked it and went first. William could see a path that led down to the ocean. The steps were man-made and weren't too steep. It would be a slow walk down but he could manage it in the medical boot.

"Damien is my twin brother," Celine began as she guided William down the steps, "and nearly everyone who knows my family doesn't know he exists. You and Mark are the only one of my friends who know and, well, you'll understand soon."

At the bottom of the steps was a seating area protected by some large rocks that created a safe area to swim in without worry of sudden tides whisking you out to sea. William hobbled over to one of the large rocks so he could sit down, gather his energy and curse the boot. Celine followed, climbing onto a neighbouring large rock.

"Damien? Are you here? I have my friend William, the Colonel!"

Ripples began to spread through the still water. William watched with wide-eyed curiosity when he caught movement below the surface. He had been watching the water while coming down the stairs, and there weren't any items or clothing strewn about. Before he could ask Celine, a head popped out of the water in front of him.

It was a man, or what looked like one. His smooth skin was as white as porcelain and shimmered in the sunlight. There were tiny bubble-like markings that William swore looked like scales. His hair was as dark as Celine's, but with a blue tint with the right light. It appeared to hold its shape by being stylised into smaller 'chunks' to form larger strands of hair. The ears were finned and had a pale blue along the edges. His face, despite not looking fully human, reminded William of both Celine and her father. The eyes were a different shape to the rest of the family - presumably more rounded and large to help with hunting - but the 'nose' and mouth were a perfect match. Even the eye colour was the same as Celine's.

"Damien, I take it?" William thought it absurd, but his hunch to ask immediately proved to be a good thing. The head ducked back under the water. Celine gave a knowing smirk and stepped back. In a flash, a large blur pounced for the rocks and climbed up with surprising agility, revealing what was actually a merman in full display. From head to tail, the skin kept that white tone, unlike what William would have seen in movies. There were fin-like protrusions emerging from his collar bones and his upper arms, which went from that pale blue on the edges to a dark purple at the base, almost like a sunset. This coloration was also on the frills that went down his stomach and on either side of his tail, before all three trailed off at differing points to allow the splendour of the large tail tip. William did remember Celine having posters of betta fish in her room when they met, was this why?

"The Colonel, yes? Oh, it's such a pleasure to meet you! Celine has told me so much about you! I'm so sorry I wasn't able to meet you sooner." Damien had snatched up William's left hand with both his webbed ones and shook eagerly, until he caught himself and quickly pulled back. "I'm so sorry. It's not often I get to meet new people." As quickly as he had sprung forward, Damien pulled back as his sister sat down beside him, ears flattened in embarrassment. The twins had such a likeness once the obvious differences were put aside.

"Don't apologise. I've been looking forward to meeting you too. I can't believe no one told me before I left. I'm offended!" William put a hand on his chest and dramatically sighed, only to erupt into cackles when Celine reached over and slapped his arm.

The three sat on the rocks for the afternoon. Celine and Damien took the time to explain to William about their genetics. Their father's grandfather was a merman who had decided to leave the life of the water behind and marry their great-grandmother. The merfolk genes became a passive trait. Their descendants had natural aquatic talents but all were completely human. Their mother, however, had magic in her bloodline, and this strengthened the recessive merfolk gene. When she was expecting twins, one was a regular human pregnancy, while the other was cocooned in water. In that regard, Damien was a miracle that he survived and had a healthy childhood...

"- but it meant no one outside a small circle knew I existed," Damien sighed. "Celine was able to go to school, make friends, while I was taught by our grandparents, as well as Celine who showed me what she learned in school. Because I'm not human-passing like movies show, I couldn't use a wheelchair and a blanket like I wanted." Not only that, there wasn't a large community of mythical creatures that they knew of. "But don't take this to be me lamenting my fate. I've had a wonderful life and have made connections with many merfolk communities around the world who welcomed me in while I am studying."

"Studying?" William looked confused, but Celine took the moment to wrap her arm around Damien's shoulder.

"You are looking at one of the top merfolk experts on culture and tradition, as well as a general fish expert. Speaking of," she patted Damien on the shoulder as she rose to her feet, "I should go back up and help Mark. We're having dinner down here." With that, she hopped off the rocks and began the ascent back up the house. Damien and William watched her go, before the soldier turned back around.

"So, an expert, eh? I happen to be rather unintelligent compared to your sister and Mark, so I'm afraid you'll have to tell me everything." He rested his elbow on his good leg, and propped his chin on his hand as he grinned at the merman. Damien's eyes darted aside and his ears flattened in embarrassment.

"Well, I wouldn't call myself an 'expert'," Damien admitted quietly, "but actually… I'd rather hear about you. I really enjoyed receiving your letters while you were away. Is that why you wear those clothes?"

"Oh these?" Whoops. William had forgotten to change when he arrived. He barely had a moment to drop his bags to the guest room. "This is my military uniform. It's commonplace to wear it when you're on duty, even if you're simply being sent home. It's not the normal battle uniform, not anymore. That's just regular camouflage. This is an everyday uniform that shows off any badges you have earned and -" William stopped as he felt his hat being plucked off his head. He hadn't noticed Damien crawl over until it was too late. Instead of snatching it back, he ruffled his hair so that it lost the 'hat hair' look.

"How can you wear this? I've never seen anything like it!" Damien, after a brief examination, decided to try it on. The strange shape of the hat meant that it kept falling forward on him, no matter what he did to try and keep it in place. Instead of helping, William simply laughed at the merman's misfortune.

When William eventually agreed to help Damien wear the hat in a way that wouldn't fall off, he began to share stories of his early days in the army. Damien was enthralled, asking questions in a bid to learn more. It was no wonder that both were startled by the arrival of Mark and Celine with lanterns and all the necessities for a feast by the sea. Damien returned to the water while the humans set up, only to resurface when they were ready. His skin needed to be rehydrated for what he knew would be a long evening ahead.

Food, drink and merriment were had that night. Damien had hoisted himself onto the bench so he could fully join in. William honestly couldn't remember the last time he'd had such a good night in the company of his dear friends. Perhaps not having to worry about a secret made it a lot easier to converse. For the first time in a long time, William didn't feel like an outsider amongst his own friends; but he didn't dwell on it much. Instead, he gave witty commentary during Mark's dramatic retelling of events the pair went through as youths.

At some point, Celine had fetched blankets from a sturdy, weathered box hidden amongst the box and wrapped one around herself and Damien. The twins nestled together as time passed, and Damien was content to enjoy being in the company of Celine and all her closest friends at last.

The low flickering of the lanterns was the cue for the humans to return indoors. With William staying for a few days, Damien was content to let them go without feeling too sorry for himself. There would be plenty of time to chat. He sat on the rocks as he watched Mark help William back up the steps. Even from a distance, he could hear William barking something about how "this means nothing and I'm still stronger than you" and "I swear to God I'll push you down the stairs if you keep laughing at me Mark".

"He's a good man, that Colonel." Damien jumped when Celine spoke. When did she move to sit beside him?! "When Mark introduced me, I was worried that his loud voice and brashness meant bad things, but he's been such a good, loyal friend over the last few years. I hope that he wasn't too 'much' for you today."

"N-no, no. I… he's exactly like you said he'd be." His eyes were on the two men as they disappeared out of view. "He's not angry that he didn't know about me, is he?"

"Nah." Celine leaned back, enjoying the light sea breeze. "He knew we were hiding something. I think he's happy to know he can be trusted. And he'll be stuck here for at least a day or two while Mark and I are working thanks to that broken foot. I'd bet he'll make it his mission to come down here alone just to show he can."

"I'd like that. He has a lot of stories to tell… Would it be weird if I ask him to keep talking?"

"Not as weird as it is that you've caught some sort of feelings for him. Did you get bitten by a love-bug, brother dearest?"

"Shut up, darling sister," Damien quickly nudged her, only to receive a counter-shove in response. "Just… don't tell him, alright? I know better than to interrupt a human marriage like that." He'd content himself with the company of the man who had captured his attention from the first letter. Celine slid off the rock and stretched. She glanced over her shoulder with a knowing smirk, gesturing to her left hand, which Damien knew was the hand with her engagement ring.

"His ring is on the other hand, Damien. It's a birthday present from his father. Goodnight, brother~" And off she went, gleefully ignoring her brother's confused questions.

"What do you mean he doesn't have a partner??"

#mermay #dilliam #mayor damien #wkm the colonel #writersofmark #(disclaimer: it's one in the morning. My friend is yelling at me to go to bed)#(but I refuse! This needs to be posted first!)#(so ignore any possible errors. It's super late)#(but now I sleep goodnight)

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olderthannetfic · 3 years

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Escapade Vid - The Untamed

I could say this was my attempt at meta on an underappreciated character and that's why I wanted to vid Wen Ning…

Nah, I just think he's hot.

Wen Ning has this adorable babyface and big eyes. Just my type. And then he got a goth makeover and became a creepy zombie, increasing his hotness by ten thousand times. The Living Dead was everything I wanted except for dubcon possession porn, and it both irritates and cracks me up to see how many people find it OOC and badly made. I agree the colors are an abomination though--but more on that later.

I like Wen Ning the best because 1. He's hot and 2. He's one of the most competent characters and compromises his morals the least. Mianmian might be one up on him given how her story turns out, but in a whole series of craven idiots, I like the suicidally moral characters, especially when they're competent.

And also JC. Because I like his face. (What? I never said my Untamed feels were deep.)

I wanted to make this vid last year, right after Escapade. I spent forever finding a song, and I'm glad I did it then because it was a nightmare. I can find love songs easily, but I don't really care about WN/WWX, nor would most love songs fit that. It's clearly one-sided, but WN is also clearly totally happy to follow him around forever. Happy love songs are out. Pining angst is out.

WN is also motivated by high ideals more than specific family feelings. WQ wants to protect her family. WN wants to repay his debts. WN is a shy doofus on the surface when we first see him, and he acts flustered around most of the older characters, but this is deceptive. I feel like the most revealing scene is when he pops up at Lotus Pier, ready to grab JC and take on his entire clan. In what universe was this a good idea? What is he even doing there? Why did it actually work???

I wanted a song that encapsulated WN's quiet stubbornness. The trouble is that like 99% of popular music is either about romance or about being a confident badass, and most of the confident badass music is "Fuck you, ex boyfriend, I'm stronger now". I did not want an ex boyfriend song. A bunch of other songs are macho, flexing dudes talking about how they'll win the sports competition. Obviously, that was out. There are a very few songs like Try Everything, but they're awfully perky for covering Wen Ning's entire story, including him getting, you know, gruesomely murdered.

I honestly can't remember how I found the song I picked. I was probably listening to Happy Hanukkah on endless repeat and saw it in the Youtube sidebar. (Look, it's a great song for all times of year. Shut up.) Matisyahu has many amazing songs that build and move in ways ideal for vids.

I then sat on this source/song combo for a year because, well, it sure was a year. But when we got close to Escapade, I realized I wanted to finish it for the con.

Clip choices:

I'm not going to include the full lyrics on their own since they're in English and on every lyrics site. Instead, I'm putting the relevant bits between my explanations of what I chose and why. A lot of it came together quickly. I knew I wanted to include cute WN moments, like him being bullied by kids, and they wouldn't fit in the main narrative, so I had to put them in the intro.

Feel like the world don't love you They only wanna push you away Some days people don't see you You feel like you're in the way

I had a lot of trouble with 'push you away' since, generally speaking, no one does push him away. However, this is a vid from Wen Ning's own perspective, so it felt like an acceptable match to use the part where Wen Qing tries to leave him behind as they go on a hunt. She's objectively correct to do so given what happens, but Wen Ning is clearly upset that she tried. He doesn't want to be protected, especially at the cost of other people's safety.

Today you feel as if everyone hates Pointing their fingers, looking at your mistakes You do good, but they want great No matter what you give they still wanna take

I was very clear from early on that I wanted to use 'mistakes' for what Wen Ning is actually upset about: ruining Jin Ling's life. Of course he feels super guilty about what he did, despite it not being his fault, but the specific fallout Wen Ning is going to care about is a kid's feelings, not the political drama. That gave me the idea for what to do with 'good' and 'great'. More than most characters in the series, WN is not impressed by the power structure or reputations--scared, yes, but not impressed. WN likes bringing people food, at little things that are quietly good, and their society does not value that. (Cf. everything about Jiang Yanli's betrothal before Jin Zixuan catches feelings.)

'No matter what you give' I used for a shot that is probably not going to read as anything in a convention vidshow. He's bruised up, so I was hoping it would read properly visually. The actual context of the shot is WN having been thrown in the dungeon for being a traitor to the Wen. And yet, when the Wen are defeated, does he get a pardon? Nope, ignominious death. It really didn't matter what he did: these factions are all thoroughly corrupt and the entire system is garbage. It's all power-hungry assholes and sanctimonious prisses ripe for manipulation. All that mattered was that he was a Wen, and the Wens were either on top or being exterminated.

Give your love and they throw it back You give your heart they go on attack When there's nothing left for you, Only thing that you can do, say

The next part is WWX being an ungrateful little bitch. He's understandably stressed, but it still cracks me up that he's all up in WN's face and WN is literally only there to help him. WN might feel an obligation, but WWX sure isn't earning it here.

'When there's nothing left' I wasn't sure about. WN hitting rock bottom is arguably when he gets killed or maybe when they're in the burial mounds, but that didn't work with my structure. I chose to put a montage here of all the times that WQ tells him to stay safe by ditching WWX. I sympathize with WQ, but as WN comments in one of these scenes, he's following their own family code that she taught him. WQ cares so much about protecting WN (and the rest of their little part of the clan, but let's be real, it's mostly about WN) that she's willing to collude with a mass murderer just to keep him safe. Maybe it's only because he's a younger sibling, but WN seems to see things a lot more clearly. I laugh every time he's like "Uh huh, uh huh" as she lectures, and then the next scene is him running off to do something dangerous again.

Today, today live like you wanna, Let yesterday burn and throw it in a fire, in a fire, in a fire, Fight like a warrior, Today, today live like you wanna, Let yesterday burn and throw it in a fire, in a fire, in a fire, Live like a warrior

For this round of the chorus, WN is burning his Wen clan membership in a fire, and the heroic thing is running away, living to fight another day. WN has no ego, nor would ego be helpful here.

Buuuut, equally, being an actual warrior means hurting people, and while he was literally mind controlled into murder, that still couldn't have happened if he hadn't been already involved in violence and fighting. Violence you regret is also part of this life, and so is accepting responsibility for your actions. (Sure, he's very literally not responsible here, but WN doesn't know that at the time and doesn't feel that even later.)

There's some things you should let go, They're only gonna pull you down, Just like weight on your shoulder They are only gonna make you drown

I swear The Untamed has the best casting for a variety of face types. I recognized everybody from the moment they appeared… Except for Su She. Whom I forgot entirely and couldn't recognize at all. Doh.

It wasn't till I was clipping the whole series for this vid that I realized that the reason Wen Ning gets possessed here is that he's the only one to notice Su She's plight and go to his aid right away. I think on first viewing, I read it as him just getting possessed before he could get in the air, but that's not what's happening at all. His dumb ass stayed behind to try to help someone. Seriously, fuck Su She. They live in a grotesquely shitty power structure, but WN responds in admirable ways, while Su She just whines that he's not on top.

We all swing high, we all swing low, We all got secrets people don't know We all got dreams we can't let go, We wanna be brave, don't be afraid

WN's secret is that he gets possessed so easily and why. WQ is refusing to tell WWX in this scene, but he has figured out something is up and gives her a talisman for WN, which shows up later in the plot to great emotional effect--though not in this vid, alas.

The butterfly reveal was one of the first things on my timeline as I recall. I have Many Feelings. Also, this is me, so yes, I totally ship them. >:D

WN and WQ showing up to accept responsibility is kind of a dumbass move, but it's definitely brave. I enjoy how WN just keeps barrelling through the plot in a way that should mean he's the cute woobie who dies early on to prove the world is bad… and that instead leads to him being one of the strongest fighters, making it through the series, and finding A-Yuan again. (Though, okay, he did that first thing also. Heh.)

I ended on Jin Ling because I was so struck on rewatch at how the juniors first meet Wen Ning.

I dimly recalled this fight, but it wasn't till I was clipping that I realized just how much focus each of them gets and how WN is literally strangling them and such. I just remembered him fighting people, not who. It's hilarious how quickly after this (in their timeline) we have doofus woobie WN being cute and them being like "He's my murder zombie! ♥"

For this chorus, I focused on that change. WN is rescuing them. "Yesterday" is their scared faces. Here, being a "warrior" is apologizing to JL. And maybe WN doesn't really owe an apology, but JL does deserve one. Almost no one in the series seems to give a shit about how JL is feeling.

And then my favorite scene with my two faves! WN is finally telling JC what he has probably wanted to for ages. WN is a wuss when it comes to himself, but he gets righteously pissed when someone else is being mistreated. The yesterday he's letting burn here is his promise to keep quiet… along with viciously burning down every bit of self perception and hubris JC ever had. Ouch!

Your heart is too heavy from things you carry a long time, Been up you been down, tired and you don't know why, But you're never gonna go back, you only live one life Let go, let go, let go, let go, let go, let go,

Bless the sequel movie for literally being entirely about Wen Ning's internal struggle. The way he breaks free of the bad guy's hold is by accepting the past and letting go of his guilt over things he can't change.

Today, today live like you wanna, Let yesterday burn and throw it in a fire, in a fire, in a fire, Fight like a warrior,

He's just so hot in this movie! This first chorus is him coming out of the hallucination, having beaten his self doubt and then beating on the villain.

Today, today live like you wanna, Let yesterday burn and throw it in a fire, in a fire, in a fire, Live like a warrior

Okay, in actual canon, JL mostly joined them because he was competing with LSZ like the bratty little asshole he is, but I wanted to highlight how JL got over himself enough to join the other juniors on team WN. Also, WN defends both him and LSZ in this scene in ways he couldn't back then.

Today, today live like you wanna, Let yesterday burn and throw it in a fire, in a fire, in a fire, Fight like a warrior,

This I wasn't planning on at all. As I was clipping the whole series, I was thinking that WN's possessed footage here wouldn't be narratively useful since he went and got taken over again, but when I rewatched for visually impressive stuff to use interstitially, I realized that--holy shit--he's defending Jin Ling in this scene. And he succeeds. I included both a shot of Jin Zixuan, which everyone caught in the vidshow, and a shot that nobody mentioned: Wen Ning's bloody fist after ripping JZX heart out to go with Wen Ning's bloody hand on the sword in the present as he struggles to keep it from Jin Ling. Here, fighting like a warrior means keeping the sword off of JL, even if WN can't defeat the spirit or resolve the entire situation himself.

ALSO I HAVE MANY FEELS ABOUT JC JUMPING IN FRONT OF JL.

Today, today live like you wanna, Let yesterday burn and throw it in a fire, in a fire, in a fire, Live like a warrior

Sometimes, WN is not that sweet. He traps this dude in a hell of his own making instead of letting him kill himself because Wen Ning can be a vindictive little bitch. And then he strides off into the matte painting sunset.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Other vidding notes:

I totally wanted to do something with Chinese characters, but there wasn't really space, and after much dictionary-searching and asking, it's clear that Chinese does not use morality metaphors involving a compass pointing true north. But that effort was not wasted since I needed a good font for my other vid.

Vidding The Living Dead turned out to be a pain. I had completely forgotten it was in another aspect ratio. The shots look much more beautiful before one crops them. That said, none of them are that beautiful because the entire film has this atrocious green color filter over it. It's like they're all wading through mud at all times. Ughhhhh. I spent so long trying to fix the color on that final scene to be at least a little pretty for my vid.

Still, the film had exactly the emotional tone I wanted. It very much skewers the fanon that WN is entirely the bashful wimp he appears to be on the surface when we first see him. It makes overt the change that we see over the series. It's also fundamentally different because it's a situation where WN is the senior person and in charge of someone. We've seen him babysit a small child, and we've seen him around the juniors with lots of people of his generation also there, but we've basically never seen him out from under WQ and WWX's thumbs. It's only natural that he's acting more authoritative here. His smackdown of the villain is very much in line with how he treats JC during the golden core reveal. WN is not a forgiving guy when he thinks someone has been selfish and awful.

Throughout this vid, there are shittons of color, speed, and motion effects. I don't normally use a lot, but it turned out to be a lot of fun this time. I should find another project to use effects on.

The vid:

Available on AO3.

#vidding #wen ning

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lany-d-flow · 3 years

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A Note on Cherry-Picking: Some Concerns

As someone who is new to engaging in discussion with fandoms, there are plenty of perspectives, views, and original authorities (typically the writers/developers) for me to both observe and learn from. Having a space for fans to discuss the intent, the story of an artist’s work is an important part of not only understanding the message the artist wanted to tell its readers as they draw their conclusions, but also for fans to tell interpretations of their own. Not every story has a concrete, objective outcome for events and dynamics that unfolded in the plot. Some stories have an outcome, yet authors choose to be subtle about what happened and could choose not to specify their message in interviews and commentary, allowing readers to comprehend the story on their own until they eventually see what conclusion makes the most sense in the text. In other words, the canon outcome/the outcome intended by the authority of the text, the author. The result of this practice may cause fans to spend a bit more time reading through the text before connecting the dots, and perhaps sharing their own interpretation even if it is not the writer’s outcome. Such a practice is pretty much fine, if not encouraged to help folks gain some inspiration and use their own creativity for what could have been written.

I have some concerns about one either over-extending their interpretation or forgetting to use the main source and only using a supporting source, though.

By this, I mean intentionally spreading their interpretations over one or multiple platforms as canon, even when the creator’s original work, continuity, and supporting texts would say otherwise. This is something potentially dangerous not just for new folks of the same audience, but even to the creator themself if the fan’s interpretations imply that the creator has a twisted mindset/agenda, which would very likely not be the case.

To make matters worse, some might choose to take singular moments, phrases in text and supporting texts, and creator comments out of context to support their narrative, even though taking a look at said scenes in proper context would help readers see otherwise. But this actually is not limited to the interpretation-spreaders alone, as one who understood the proper message/canon outcome of a work could also use the previously mentioned sources to support an incorrect interpretation of the creator’s work, even if this was not their intention in the first place.

I have especially seen instances of this in a fandom I actively participate in. While the actions of few do not represent the thoughts of many, I believe it is still important to make a distinction of this behavior, to not only help understand what could be a negative influence on the media you appreciate, but also to hold those who want to support the creators’ work to a higher standard, that we may stay true and respectful to the creator’s intent, the context of a text and its key moments, and instead of pulling quotes out of a paratext alone, using them to support an argument that’s using the text to make a more cohesive case.

So, I would like to focus on a specific logical fallacy that connects with what I am talking about, and use examples of this fallacy that could be seen in fandom.

Definitions

To start, I’d like to define some key terms related to what I have previously mentioned. These would be paratext, epitext, and of course cherry picking. @themelodicenigma has written comprehensive work on the subject of paratext and epitext, and cites a text named The Peritext Book Club to define these terms:

The concept of paratext was defined by Gérard Genette as common elements provided within a book (peritext) and elements outside of the book that refer to it (epitext); these elements can affect individual, as well as cultural, perceptions of a text (1997, 4–5). Peritext includes elements that surround the body of the text, such as the foreword, table of contents, index, and source notes. Epitext refers to communications outside the text that can also influence whether and how the text is read. Examples of epitext include book reviews, interviews, author websites and letters, and critical literary analysis. [source - pg. 2] (Gross - Peritext Book Club).

Another way to define paratext, as also mentioned in Enigma’s work, is that of which supports and communicates something about the text. In other words, what the paratext states is an analysis of what one can understand from the original text. Although there is a chance that paratext can have some extra information about a story for worldbuilding purposes, what it generally states about scenarios is what we should be able to discern from the text itself. Therefore, if one wants to strengthen their case for why something is as the author intended, it’s usually best if you analyze key moments from the text, followed by usage of a paratext. However, this is not always done, and we will look at it later.

The other key term is cherry-picking. If we want a good definition, we can refer to the Oxford English and Spanish Dictionary:

Cherry-pick(ing): Choose and take only (the most beneficial or profitable items, opportunities, etc.) from what is available.

This is a common logical fallacy, often used intentionally or unintentionally in practice. Typically, when one wants to prove their point, they will find a source of relevance or semi-relevance that says what they want to hear. Then, they will cite that source as the ultimate Word on what is true, whether or not that is the case. Also, this fallacy can also invite confirmation bias to the user, making their case more fallacious than intended. The problem with this fallacy is that it most often does not address the full context of what the statement is about in the first place. There is also a chance that the source and quote cited are either not officially proven, taken from an outside source that may not be relevant to the topic, as well as taken out of context and warped to the user’s meaning so that their narrative may be supported. If one wants to determine the strength of the source used, they need only check the source cited in the first place and read the material themselves. From there the reader can determine how valid the source actually is to the topic, and continue to point out to other readers why that source is not entirely valid and does not cover the full context of the topic. We can actually see this fallacy in practice with any form of text, whether it’s a paratext, epitext, or the text itself. This is why it’s important for us to fact check what we are telling people and cover the original text when we are making our case.

Unfortunately, some folks in fandom circles end up cherry-picking sources when discussing media--video games, movies, TV shows, books, music, artwork, and so on. Engaging in one particular fandom recently, there is an ongoing debate that fans themselves choose to keep ongoing. Even with texts, paratexts, and epitext(s) supporting one side of the argument, there are plenty of attempts to ignore what the plot of the story ultimately gave us, leading some to attempt to refute what the text gave us and what the creators intended by taking any conceivable scene, line, and written text from the text, paratexts, and epitexts out of context to support their narrative. If one wants to tell whether or not an argument is cherry-picking, they can:

1) find the original source

2) get the rest of the information from the original source, then…

3) discern the context of what’s actually going on in the first place, and see if what the original user was talking about actually lines up with the intent of the creator/original source.

However, this practice is not restricted in this type of scenario alone. If a group has found the answer themself, they could make a case using the original text to discuss what’s going on. However, I have found that there are many instances where only quotes from a paratext and epitext are addressed. So while paratexts and epitexts may support what the user is trying to claim, the user overlooked the main text in the first place. This could raise the question of, “Did you actually look at the scenes in the text?” or “did you NEED to use those supporting texts in the first place?”

And really, I am addressing two sides of this to set a better standard and show that we are not always free from fallacy. It is not necessarily our intention to use a logical fallacy like cherry-picking, but besides twisting original intent it can end up weakening our arguments for questions about the text because we did not actually bother to address the original scene. The text is supposed to provide the full context and cover what grounds it needs to. Using a paratext and epitext alone often don’t cover the full context of a text since they simply provide some support. It’s important to correspond supporting texts to the original media also, not just because of what’s mentioned before, but simply because that’s another important part of preventing misconceptions.

So, I want to provide some examples of how I’ve seen this fallacy being used that’s caused me to raise concerns. Hopefully by the end of this, you’ll understand where cherry-picking ends up being used and how we can do better to stray away from it. For reference, I will try to refer to epitext as “paratext” to avoid having to use both nouns in every sentence. But if the only paratext in question is something like an interview, I’ll use “epitext”.

And yes, I will be specific about the game and characters. I thought about being vague by making the subjects indirectly about the characters, but I do not think my point would be as effective that way. Ultimately, the intent still remains the same, so here goes.

Media to Observe

Game: Final Fantasy VII/Final Fantasy VII Remake

Book: Final Fantasy VII: On The Way To a Smile

Movie: Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children Complete

Paratext(s): Ultimania Guidebook, Interview(s)

Topic: The Nonsensical LTD between three characters (Cloud, Tifa, Aerith)

Examples

Claim: Cloud is obviously in love and prefers Aerith over Tifa because he is miserable and pining for Aerith in Final Fantasy VII Advent Children and avoiding Tifa and their family. We saw him away from his family in the beginning of the movie, and we saw Aerith appear in his head and ask for forgiveness from her. He must be asking her to forgive him for having a relationship with Tifa!

Response:

Types of Media/Text to observe: Movie, Game, Book.

Watch the movie and draw your interpretation. Then, check the prequel of the movie (In this case, On The Way to A Smile). Find any guidebooks and previous texts lining up to this continuity. In the case of this moment, there is a book and game that take place before the events of the movie. In the game, Aerith died and Cloud feels guilty about this. Later in the game, Cloud breaks down due to an identity crisis when he believes Tifa lost faith in him being real, and later in the story Tifa enters his subconscious. In this moment, as we help validate Cloud’s memories, we find out the reason Cloud did everything he did before the events of the game was for Tifa to notice him. After validating the truth of Cloud’s memories and the two of them revealing they indeed held feelings for each other, we eventually reach a scene where, before the final battle, the two of them confess their feelings for each other (will come back to this later). After the game, we have a text that covers the limited point-of-view of the game’s characters, one of them being Tifa. We learn from Tifa’s story that Cloud has tremendous guilt for not being able to protect Aerith. However, this actually is NOT THE ONLY REASON for Cloud’s guilt. In the book and movie, we get information that a new disease is spreading. Finding out there is no cure, while caring for a child with this disease, Cloud’s guilt starts to build up even more. The last straw for Cloud is when he himself contracts this disease. Ultimately, feeling guilty for not saving an important friend, feeling guilty for not being able to find a cure for the child he and Tifa care for, and receiving it himself makes him feel so worthless that he believes the best way to handle the situation is to stay away from his family, that they may not see him suffer and eventually die.

Feeling guilty for Aerith is definitely intentional by the creators and it does represent her importance to Cloud. However, when one chooses to take that one piece of writing and interpret it as the one and only reason for why Cloud is behaving the way he is, then try to interpret it as romantic, that completely neglects the full context for why he was straying away from the people he cherished. Cherry-picking one person and posting that narrative on platforms may make an audience feel inclined to take that as fact, that is why it is important that we look at the rest of the text for Cloud’s behavior, because his internal conflict revolves around failure, guilt, anxiety. Specifically, failure to protect the people he cherishes, and this does not have to be--and is not--romantic to be true. And as if this was not enough, eventually the movie received a more fleshed out version that added another very important person that Cloud feels guilty for: his close friend and comrade, who also ended up being the first love of Aerith.

Also, this is a case where you can use the paratext to support your argument against this cherry-picking. TheLifeStream contains a “3N” Interview, where the three main creators of FFVII Advent Children provide commentary about the movie. In one of the questions, Scenario Writer Kazushige Nojima has this to say about Cloud’s behavior:

At the end of FFVII, Cloud saved the world and was on the way to a happy ending but, in the two years towards AC, he returned to the way he was in the past. What happened to him?

Nojima: Cloud never had a boring personality in the first place so when he started living with Tifa and started out his job, the peaceful life that he had never experienced before made him anxious. During that time, he also contracted Geostigma so it’s to protect the ones precious to him or not, he had to face death and ran away.

Nojima: Even though it’s become peaceful, Cloud has lost many people precious to him. And from Cloud’s background, it was the first time he was in a “peaceful” environment. He’s a character that likes to think about what’s going on around him often.

Here, we are given some context on Cloud’s anxiety and guilt. Context that, in other words, is relevant to the narrative of On The Way to a Smile and FFVII Advent Children as it provides ground for another aspect of Cloud’s guilt. If what was mentioned was not enough to make Cloud feel guilty, he feels anxious for getting something he never had before: a peaceful, happy life with his family. It’s pretty easy to recognize that anxiety is not going to help with Cloud’s aforementioned problems, and all of these issues come together to tell a story about a life after conflict, and handling inevitable issues that will arise regardless. It is important to recognize all of these themes and not just cherry-pick one, because it not only misleads the audience, but also reduces the impact of the message the writers wanted us to tell us.

Claim: The Director of the game in an epitext (an interview) said, “When Cloud is around Tifa, a bit of his true self emerges. There is no other source that says this, and it shows that Cloud is only himself when he is around Tifa.

Response:

Types of Media/Text to observe: Games, Paratext.

Source for reference. Director Tetsuya Nomura’s comment:

In a similar fashion, we made it so that the way Cloud talks is dependent on who he's talking to. While talking to Aerith he stands taller and tries to act cool, with Tifa he acts more like himself, and with Jessie you can see his annoyance. Specifically with Aerith he overthinks things and ends up acting a little strange.

There are several different translations of this comment, with the sentence in question varying between “...a bit of his true-self emerges”, “...he loosens up a bit”, or “...he acts more like himself”. While there is some truth to this statement and is well-observed by one of the creators of the game, the interpretation of this epitext is generally taken too far, and doesn’t cover the full context as to what constitutes Cloud’s “true self” in the first place. This is where it’s necessary to look through the text. In this case, the text is a video game.

The truth in this statement stems that Cloud feels most comfortable around Tifa, and generally does not try to put up a facade around her. From here, one should observe traits that represent Cloud’s “true self.” When we see this side of Cloud’s character, we can observe that other characters also see through his facade, and while Cloud tries to keep distance from other characters, either fails to do so or starts to loosen up around the distanced folk. A better way to read this epitext is to take it symbolically, and see how Cloud’s loosened behavior is toward Tifa, then observe how he interacts with others. The bit of Cloud’s “true self” more or less refers to the traits of his true self’s behavior, as the game follows a plot where Cloud made up a false identity that prevents the truth of his memories from connecting with himself. Tifa is the only one who can help Cloud with this, Since this has not yet taken place in the game--which is a remake of the original game--it’s not exactly best to assume the epitext means that Cloud’s true self can consciously choose to come out around only Tifa or whenever he wants.

Similarly, there is a quote from a paratext that says Aerith “melts Cloud’s icy exterior.” This has been cherry-picked by some to tell readers that only Aerith is capable of making Cloud lose his hard-edge. Once again, if we look at scenes within the text itself, it’s pretty easy to see that Cloud’s “rude” and “icy” remarks are not constantly shown throughout the text. What this quote means is that Aerith does a remarkable job at making Cloud be a better individual to those he interacts with in communities along with his friends. It’s best to care more about what impact these characters have on Cloud than trying to perpetuate a narrative that every single one of Cloud’s moments with Tifa and Aerith are romantically motivated, whether or not they are (More often, they are not).

Claim: The Writer stated in an epitext (interview) that things would have gone better with Aerith. This is proof that Aerith was the intended couple and the one that Cloud deserved, but instead Cloud had to have Tifa as a secondary choice.

Response:

Types of Media/Text to observe: Book, Epitext, Movie.

Link to Source analysis and translated comment from FFVII Scenario Writer Kazushige Nojima:

‘Episode Tifa’… first off, there’s the premise that things won’t go well between Tifa and Cloud, and that even without Geostigma or Sephiroth this might be the same. I don’t really intend to go about my views on love or marriage or family (laughs). After ACC, I guess Denzel and Marlene could help them work it out. Maybe things would have gone well with Aerith, but I think there is a great burden from Aerith.

It is important that readers themselves read the epitext in question, as this statement is a cherry-picked sentence from a writer’s entire interview comment taken out of context. In this epitext, the writer is talking on the premise that the relationship between Cloud and Tifa has friction even without the events leading to the movie. He gives some thoughts, hoping that Cloud and Tifa’s foster children can help them work out the issue causing friction between their foster parents--in this case, Cloud’s guilt. After this, the writer gives a hypothetical possibility that, “Maybe with Aerith things would have gone well, but her responsibility is a burden, I think.” In other words, the writer is giving nothing more than a hypothetical outcome that was never in the written text, and thinks that maybe if he wrote out a relationship between Cloud and Aerith there could be a great outcome, but he also uses a keyword: “maybe.” Not only is he speaking on a hypothetical, he is also not stating objectively that Aerith and Cloud are best for each other. This is something a writer has to think about as they write their story, as what they would love to see may not necessarily be the best way to strengthen their story. Ultimately, this epitext should be treated as commentary that can leave some room for one’s own interpretation. But it does not change anything that has happened and will happen in the text.

Claim: Cloud loves Tifa because it’s stated in all of the paratexts relevant to the game, the Ultimanias. Every Ultimania that refers to Cloud and Tifa confirms that they are in love with each other. Therefore, Cloud and Tifa are the canon endgame couple.

Response:

Types of Media/Text to observe: Games, Book, Paratext, Movie.

While this statement does hold truth, it is still an example of cherry-picking; this is simply pulling quotes/referring to words in a supporting text without actually looking at what happens in the text and continuity. Specifically, any scenarios in the text that focus on Cloud and Tifa’s relationship. This is not the best way to tell your audience that the creator wrote the two folks as a canon couple because it’s not looking at the original text. As mentioned before, a better approach is to refer to scenes in the text, analyze them, and then use paratexts to support what you found in the text. As a matter of fact, take a look at the scenes in the text that make people question the canonicity, and if able, actually discuss how one of the scenes is not what some people try to deem it as (in this case, a rejection).

There is one scene that comes into mind that focuses specifically on Cloud and Tifa. Dubbed the “Highwind scene” by fans, the day before the final battle, all the other characters go to their homes to remember their main reason for fighting, leaving Cloud and Tifa with each other. They then talk about how they do not have any other place to go to or call “home.” After questioning if their mission is actually being noticed by outside forces (figurative language for, “is this fight really worth it?”) they recall their past experiences and, depending on Tifa’s affection level, give implications for what they did that night. All paratexts referring to this moment state it as a moment where Cloud and Tifa realize the depth of the feelings the two have held for each other. For the sake of transparency, I will list the quotes from several paratexts here:

When Cloud proposes that the group separates temporarily, she (Tifa) remains behind at the airship and communicates her feelings together with Cloud. The next morning, she departs for the Northern Crater along with her companions, who returned.

“Words aren’t the only thing that tell people what you’re thinking.......”

-Said to Cloud, when he is at a loss for words while they’re alone

Pg. 27 of FFVII Ultimania Omega, Tifa’s profile.

She communicates her feelings together with Cloud in the final stages of the story, and in AC and DC they live together.

Pg. 33 of Crisis Core Ultimania, Tifa’s profile.

Cloud and Tifa, who remain, reveal their feelings for each other and clarify them together.

Pg. 118 of FFVII 10th Anniversary Ultimania

Words aren’t the only thing that tell people what you’re thinking...

--Prarie: What she said to Cloud the night before the final battle when he said there were many things he wanted to talk about.

Pg. 195 of FF 20th Anniversary Ultimania File 1: Character Guide

I will cut the quotes here, but if you’d like to see a much deeper analysis on this nonsensical debate, along with these quotes and the original JP text from the paratexts, check out Squall_of_SeeD’s essay here on TheLifeStream.

Now, these all reference a very intimate moment within the game...

However, in the game there are two outcomes depending on how you treated Tifa in Disc 1 of Final Fantasy VII : One where Tifa says that words are not the only way to express your feelings, and another that does not give the same implications, instead follows Cloud saying they should get some sleep. It is the latter scene that is labelled by some as “a rejection scene,” leaving some to interpret the outcome of Cloud and Tifa’s relationship as “up to the player” whether or not Cloud ends up with Tifa. Disregarding continuity that says otherwise about the previous statement, it is important that we look at what happens in both scenes. Both Cloud and Tifa sleep together no matter what, and Tifa asks Cloud to let her embrace this moment. After this, both scenes have the two wake up and confirm that they have each other, even if no one decides to come back. Not only do the duo’s friends return, they also catch a glimpse of the duo sharing the night. Depending on what scene you get, the reaction from the crew is different, with the “good” one having Tifa collapse in embarrassment and Cloud and crew rub the back of their necks in embarrassment. With the “bad” one, Tifa walks away in frustration, while Cloud rubs the back of his neck in embarrassment. After analyzing these scenes, then you can use the paratext to support your case that regardless of the scene the player got, this was a special night for Cloud and Tifa. The depth of which they take these feelings is what changes, not their feelings for each other, as we know based on previous scenes in the game (Lifestream sequence, Cloud’s “very personal memory I have” as his reason for fighting, etc.) that the two have not only held feelings for one another, but also they made their feelings aware in some form during the Lifestream sequence, with Cloud’s sealed up secret wish revealed to us that he wanted to protect Tifa and wanted her to notice him while Tifa reveals to Cloud that she spent the last 2 years after Cloud’s departure from their hometown thinking about him, hoping to see some mention of him in the press. The big issue with claiming the Low Affection Highwind scene as a rejection scene/canon scene is that it does not provide any evidence in the game’s narrative that everything Cloud thought of Tifa and did for her is suddenly thrown out the window, especially when, despite the difference in what happens between the two scenes, a special moment between them is still shown on-screen. If this was not enough, continuity of the game has this pair, as previously mentioned, deciding to live their lives together and eventually care for foster children, forming a family of their own. If one is going to talk about the canon outcome, it is important to bring things full circle and use the text and paratext together instead of referring to paratext as the Word of God, as being a material that supports what you can already discern from the text, it is the reverse. What this claim all comes down to is the potential to become oblivious to what the text offers. Some folks may be new to the fandom, and seeing people throw around quotes from a guidebook could leave the new fans confused if one does not address what the paratext is supposed to do and how much authority it holds over the text, as if the paratext holds more authority than the text, which we know is not the case.

Conclusion

Without going through every single argument involved in this debate, I believe the examples above give an idea of what this fallacy is, how it can be identified, and how it is not doing justice to the creator’s work. The same concepts apply to any other media, and are likely practiced, intentionally or unintentionally, by fans of said media. What is important is for us to understand how to set an importance of the relationship between the paratext and text, then act accordingly for understanding the context. By doing this, we can minimize the chances that sources are being cherry-picked for the sake of spreading a warped message. OR, in some cases, corresponding sources to a main source being cherry-picked without actually referring to the main source. From here on out, let’s try to take the rest of the cherries off the branch instead of going for the prettiest pairs alone.

Special Thanks

@themelodicenigma

For reviewing my rough-draft and providing constructive feedback on the ideal approach for a topic like this. If you haven’t, I recommend checking out his essays and analyses. He has written exhaustive work on the concept of Canon and subjects of canonicity. Along with that, he also wrote about the subject of paratext, epitext, and Japanese epitext so quite a bit of inspiration from this post came from his work. Seriously, go check out this guy’s blog!

#context #cherry picking #fallacy #concerns #nonsense

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sillytorch · 4 years

Text

I’ve seen multiple, if not so many different takes on Roman Torchwick’s canon backstory that I might as well say my take on it (No he’s not the Brunswick Farms kid. The artist for it confirmed it was just a random character design, check the notes for the source):

I like to think that Roman was always a little shit, even as a kid. Maybe not as horrible as he became during his adulthood, but he was definitely a delinquent. And he definitely did not have a good relationship with his parents... he might have not even grown up with siblings. Speaking of his parents, they were most likely just abusive (of the mental and emotional kind).

I don’t think he was dirt poor but I don’t think he was rich either. He most likely grew up in a middle class home (you can decide which spectrum of middle class he was on).

Even though he was a delinquent, he still attended school but he most likely dropped out b/c well... he seems like the type of person who was expelled at least one time in school. On top of that, Roman most likely either grew up in an urban area or a suburban area.

I feel like with what I said and the fact that the show implied that he himself was a streetrat based on Mercury’s comment to Cinder (“My dad once said if you want to get to know a city, ask the rats.”) so I’m just gonna say that Roman most likely ran away from home at a young age (13-14 y/o).

Speaking of his childhood, I do think Roman at one point, wanted to be a huntsman. It may sound very crazy considering his last words, but his last words are what made me think about it:

“You wanna be a HERO?? THEN PLAY THE PART AND DIE LIKE EVERY OTHER HUNTSMAN IN HISTORY!!!!”

The tone of voice he has as he’s screaming that to Ruby, he doesn’t just sound like an asshole, he sounds bitter. And before that, he starts talking about “THE REAL WORLD” being “COLD” and “NOT CARING ABOUT SPIRIT”

(and keep in mind, he says all of that after losing Neo, someone he trusted and was probably the only true friend and family he had. Before losing Neo, he was very confident about his position, that he was on the winning side. But once she gets thrown off, he suddenly becomes so negative and flies off into a rage that we’ve never seen of him before)

Those last words he screams during his emotional breakdown, it wasn’t just to break Ruby’s spirit before he (unsuccessfully) kills her, he was most likely venting about how he feels about huntsmen because he probably feels betrayed by his idealized version of huntsmen when he was a kid versus the reality of huntsmen.

Think about it: being a huntsmen to a kid seems really cool. You fight monsters, you get the glory as the hero, legends and tales are written about you... seems like a really cool thing to basically any boy. But we all know the reality of huntsmen as we’ve seen in the show, which... is pretty Grimm (*rimshot*). They don’t exactly have the best living conditions, they die relatively young, training is brutal, some huntsmen turn out to be corrupt or militarized into super soldiers, may I go on?

My point is, Roman during his teen years as a streetrat most likely knew a huntsman, possibly was even friends with them at one point. Maybe said huntsman straight up took him after awhile. MAYBE, said huntsman tried to help clean up Roman by properly training him to become a huntsman and applying to a huntsman academy. Probably b/c a huntsman academy has a lot of resources, like food, shelter, training, which would have helped out Roman. And well... it could have worked... but it didn’t...

Because something HORRIBLE happened to that huntsman friend, and Roman was there to witness it. Something so shocking that pretty much gave Roman the idea of the reality of a huntsman‘s life... and that lead to him becoming this jaded man who doesn’t care about anybody or anything. Why care about a world if no one’s gonna care about or respect you no matter who you are? The real world is cold... lonely... and doesn’t care about spirit... so why care at all? So, he went back to becoming a streetrat and eventually started his growth as a serious criminal.

Now how did he met Neo? Well... according to One Thing, Roman took her in during a hard point in her life:

Gone's the life That he gave

I was nowhere I had no one I felt nothing Lost without a voice and on my own Then a candle's flame Brought a brand new name

I had one thing And you've taken it from me A single light A single friend But you made that end There was one thing To help escape the misery And now it's all disarrayed You took my whole life away You sent me back to nothing Now you'll pay

This man took Neo in. I’m not sure EXACTLY when in his life he took her in and they became partners, but he took her in. And while this song is from Neo’s perspective, it kind of says a lot about Roman too, especially if you take how he treats her in the show in context:

V2 Ch 4: “Neo if you would!” (Roman proudly says after smiling at Neo for coming to his rescue)

V3 Ch 10: He takes the scroll from Neo’s hand and looks very happy and remarks at her as he takes it, “Now this one? This one’s gonna be fun!”

Also V3 Ch 10: “Go see what’s out there.” (Roman says even though he’s annoyed, he calmly tells her to check outside the ship. Keep in mind, this is the same man who insults his grunts, threatens his allies, and has even attempted to talk back to Cinder a few times)

V3 Ch 11: Literally their entire fight makes it clear that these two have fought together before based on their teamwork. For example: note how when Roman enters, he waits for Neo’s illusion to get hit by Ruby’s bullet, and once the bullet shatters it, Roman shoots right afterwards. He knows Neo’s semblance so he could have just shot through her illusion the moment he saw Ruby right? But he didn’t because, it’s Neo. If he shoots through the illusion (or what he thinks is the illusion), he risks hurting Neo in the process. And THAT is just one of the many examples of how much he cares about her during this fight, including his famous “NEO!!!” cry.

This man cares about Neo. She might have been the One Thing, Roman cared about. Probably the one thing that mattered to him in the world, a friend, a family member... she was probably the only thing left in this cold, cruel, spiritless world he cared about. And once a certain little red started foiling his plans to keep him and Neo afloat from whatever doomsday Cinder and Salem are planning on Remnant, and said little red threw Neo into a sky thousands of feet up in the air full of Grimm where for all he knew, Neo was dead.

This might actually be what led Roman into that rant about the world as he LITERALLY beat it into Ruby’s head: that the world is cold and cruel, and he ends up proving that right to her, because not only did he lose his only friend, he died at the moment he was about to kill Ruby. It didn’t matter what side he was on, he never got what he wanted. Basically it seems like his entire life, the world basically yanked the chain on him and his entire life, leading up to his death proved it.

Now does that excuse all of the horrific acts he’s done in the series? NO! It doesn’t!! He became a horrible person! Yes he did one nice thing by taking in Neo during a hard point in her life, but this man’s legacy was being a high profile criminal and he felt no remorse for that!

But this analysis and theory... if the theory is true that is, may explain why he did what he did. Explanation =/= Excuse.

#roman torchwick #torchwick #rwby #rwby theory #long post #mine #rwby analysis #i apologize for the long post but trust me #it's a good read #and i've typed all of this in the past hour so please give it a read

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letsperaltiago · 4 years

Text

i love you and i like you

Based on @stars-my-darling's adorable post:

“When Mac starts talking he will sometimes just randomly tell Amy that he loves her, usually at the end of an unrelated sentence. They later realise that he learnt to do this because Jake is always randomly telling Amy that he loves her and Mac is copying him." aka. 5 times toddler Mac Santiago-Peralta tells his mommy he loves her

Also includes prompt #101 from the 101 fluffy prompts-list: "…They just grow up so fast."

Read on ao3

Every like and reblog is appreciated <3

Amy Santiago has so far had a lifetime’s worth of great jobs, which, she knows, isn’t that hard when you love work and everything it implies. Everything from assisting her middle school’s librarian to that brief job at a small uptown museum her degree got her to being a respected sergeant in the NYPD. She’s loved every single job but, she’s now come to realise, nothing vill ever beat her most recent employment: Motherhood. With a capital M, yes.

Mac throws her and Jake’s worlds over like the tiny miracle of a storm he is and they’ve never looked back since. It’s brand new, it’s exciting, it’s scary, and though they’re not exactly religious, he’s the answer to their prayers. Parenthood turns out to be nothing like what they’d expected, like nothing they’d ever tried before and looking past some of the rough days, which are inevitable, it’s actually even better. They get to shape and watch a human grow; a human of which they’re both the genesis and they couldn’t be any more proud - both of each other but also their son.

Everything Mac does and achieves is a moment to remember, and they take nothing for granted: every new sound, even simple gurgles, every new movement, even the flick of a tiny finger? They beam, look at each other with wide, joyous eyes and celebrate their newborn addition to their little family. They hold on to everything they can, while they can although, they swear, every other day they’ll be lying in bed with him while he sleeps or watch him begin to explore their apartment on his own and they’ll take turns breaking the comfortable silence with what they’re both thinking:

“They just grow up so fast.”

Even if he’s merely grown a tenth of an inch since the last time they brought it up.

This fact aside, before they know it, their before so very tiny and helpless son can sit without assistance, sooner than later starts crawling and before they seem to have the time to catch up with the ladder he suddenly knows how to say “mama” and “dada” - and the day Mac takes his first steps, Amy filming on her phone while Jake is squatting to entice his son? Both parents guiltlessly shed a tiny tear rewatching the video that night after their little one, who suddenly seems so big, is put to bed.

With the walking comes the talking. Mac, like his dad, is an entertainer and seizes every chance he gets to chat with his parents, and anyone else who’ll listen for that matter, and hopefully make them laugh. Amy quickly sees through the fact that her son’s mannerism is definitely inspired by her husband’s, and Amy’s heart swells at every glimt of it: everything from Mac’s tiny ‘big dramatic movements’ to him attempting to crack small jokes (that sometimes are actually super funny but also mostly make people laugh because his delivery is beyond precious). Despite the fact that his personality is absolutely a solid blend of both parents, Jake’s genes definitely conquer everything else, and Amy doesn’t mind one bit. Although she could do without the short, Peralta-inspired attention span, which can be both very cute but also slightly maddening when you’ve told your barely 3-year old toddler 6 times to finish their meal meanwhile he’s to preoccupied by his father cleaning up the water said toddler spilled just seconds ago.

All in all, Mac is a copy of Jake, and in more ways that one Amy is grateful. Especially when the little boy starts getting a grasp of the word ‘love’ and what it actually means though his parents have showered him with it since before he was born. Jake and Amy will tell Mac ‘I love you’ on the daily and, besides this, his parents themselves aren’t exactly shy of telling each other, especially Jake who often tends to do it out of nowhere or any kind of context which the boy must’ve picked up on at some point.

It starts off quite naturally: the first time he says it.

One night after getting him washed down and put into his favorite firetruck-print pyjamas (the parents couldn’t deny him it even though they were far from thrilled), Amy’s sitting with Mac in his new so-called ‘big boy-bed’. Feeling her son’s curly-haired head nestled into her chest, one hand grabbing onto the fabric of her shirt while the other holds onto his best buddy Leo the Lion, Amy reads out loud from one of the many books she’s managed to accumulate for her son. Obviously worn out from the day Mac, as being almost 3 is very exhausting, stays silent and listens carefully to the sound of his mother’s voice, dutifully paying attention to the book’s colourful drawings and even sometimes pointing at them whenever Amy reaches a part of the story that’s been illustrated.

“Then the little puppy ran through the big big field and the big big forest to get back home-“

“Shee, Mommy,” Mac interrupts her with a lisp caused by the pacifier hanging from one corner of his mouth and points to the drawing of the running dog with his index finger. “Doggy runth!”

“Yeah, I see, baby,” she smiles before pecking the top of his head. Normally she’d ask him to remove his pacifier when he speaks. Her and Jake slowly trying to make the object something Mac knows he can use to relax rather than constantly needs, but when it’s this late and right before bedtime Amy can’t be bothered to reprimand him. For now she’s just proud of her tiny, smart guy. “Where is he running?” She pulls back to look at him, encouraging him to explain further.

“He’sh going home!” he smiles proudly to a point where his pacifier almost falls out, just barely clinging on for dear life.

“That’s right. He’s running home to his family - good job,” she chuckles sending him one last smile before skimming her wristwatch quickly realising bedtime is just minutes away. It’s not that they’re following a strict schedule that depends on every single minute and second of the day: something she’s actually glad Jake’s and his more laid-back lifestyle has transferred to their parenting-style. Although Mac, his parents have come to find out, will reach a point during the evening where it’ll be too late and he becomes overtired and impossible. Therefor 8 PM is the ultimate limit (on weekdays, that is) and Amy sees it quickly approaching so she quickly finishes up their story and shuts the book closed.

“That’s it for today, Mr. Mac. Time to visit dreamland,” simply not able to resist the feel and smell of her son’s newly washed curls, she places another kiss to the top of his head before climbing out of the small bed and hears him reply with a yawn which tells her that she’s probably timed bedtime perfectly. To the great delight of the now also tired mother (a high rank full-time job and a toddler will do that to you) she’s once more proved right when Mac gets under the covers without a trace of fight.

“Roshie?” he looks up at his mother with worried eyes as he hugs Leo the Lion a bit tighter. Those stupid beautiful brown eyes he’s inherited from Jake.

“Oh,” Amy kneels down to the bed’s side and starts running her hand all over the duvet, mattress and bed-frame. “Where’s Rosie, bud?”

Rosie aka. the pink unicorn he’d gotten from auntie Roro back when he was still a tiny baby (though he’d always be Amy’s tiny baby) was missing and they both knew very well that there would be no sleeping without it. Suddenly her hand comes across a bump, to her relief revealing the stuffed animal once she lifts up the duvet.

“Yay, mommy!” her son smiles as if she’s cracked the mystery of the century and Amy can’t help but feel just a bit proud - anything she does that makes her boy happy will do that to her.

“There you go,” she smiles and places the unicorn in his arms right next to Leo the Lion. “All good, Mr. Mac?”

He nods profoundly, eyes suddenly clearly tired and droopy, which earns him a warm smile from his mother before she leans in and kisses his forehead tenderly, all at once running her hand fingers his curls as to get her one last fix for the day. Incredible how your child can become somehow addicting.

“Sleep well. I love you,” she pulls back to take him in, the declaration of love hanging in the air for a few seconds before, taking Amy by surprise, her son answers her.

“I wuv you.”

She knows ‘love’ is an abstract feeling that a toddler can’t really comprehend and isolate as an emotion, which is probably also why Mac’s never said it back before, and although she’s told him a million times before and has never awaited or needed an answer, him saying it back definitely throws her off in the most magical, proud, emotional way in a long time. She’s constantly proud of the little things he does on the daily, slowly becoming a tiny actual human with opinions and a personality, but this is a whole new level.

“Thank you for saying that,” she can feel tears forming in her eyes and throat, but doesn’t want to confuse the small child who’s just begun to understand ‘love’, and therefor doesn’t also need to be explained that crying can also be a sign of happiness. That is an oxymoron that will surely just confuse him when, currently, crying is Mac’s way of expressing and understanding sadness and anger.

“That was very sweet of you and I love you so so much too, baby,” she manages to say it one last time, without breaking, before getting up to turn on his tiny night light and leave. “Me and daddy will be just down the hall watching TV, okay?”

A slight movement from beneath the duvet lets her know he’s heard her before she allows herself to half-close the door and walk back to where Jake is cleaning up after dinner. There she is finally able to let out a few soft cries as she lets her husband in on the small, incredible moment she’s just had with their son. Of course, it instantly makes Jake feel like crying with joy too. Their baby is surely the best.

From there on it’s just one big mess of declarations, at the most random moments and Amy is very amused but also even more enamoured.

One night Jake is away on a stakeout which leaves Amy is home alone with Mac, and to the toddlers immense joy this means he’s allowed to sleep with his mom in her and dad’s enormous bed. Jake has told him to keep mommy safe while he’s gone and of course takes this task very seriously. It’s 3 AM, they’re both fast asleep when suddenly Amy is awoken by what seems to be quite some new weight on top of her chest.

“Mommy,” promptly breaks the silence slowly bringing Amy back to consciousness.

It takes her a second to collect herself but she instinctually reaches out to figure out exactly where her son is in the dark. It’s quickly clear that he’s stretched out stomach down across her chest. “Yes, baby?” she mumbles tiredly eyes still closed hoping that her son is just being restless and will go back to sleep.

“I need pee.”

“Oh.”

This, with a power that almost no other request from her son holds, immediately dawns upon and takes over her body pushing her to sit up. Mac is pretty much fully potty trained but only day-wise. During the night he still uses a diaper, and they’ve only just recently started easing him into the night-potty by telling him it’s an option. The boy showing initiative himself is an absolutely great start and even more importantly an opportunity she won’t let slip by.

“You wanna go use the potty?” she looks at him to make sure and he immediately nods. “Okay, lets go then.”

And so they scurry out of bed and make their way across the hall to the bathroom, hand in hand in the darkness, where once the light is turned on Mac’s potty awaits him.

With a bit of help from mommy, he pulls down his pyjamas pants and diaper before getting settled on the potty. There’s no hiding the fact that they’re both very tired, especially Mac whose head hangs a bit, almost asleep while giving in to his body’s need for relief while Amy sits dutifully on the floor besides him.

“Good job telling me, Mac,” she praises, smiling tiredly but the little boy is too tired to even react.

They stay like this for a while, in silence, Amy not wanting to interrupt a probably concentrated Mac, when suddenly he, to her surprise, is the one to break the silence.

“I’m peeing and I love you, mommy,” he mumbles tiredly almost fully asleep right there on the potty, messy curls hanging in whatever which way gravity will allow.

Then, as if she’d never been tired, asleep, woken up and feeling exhausted, Amy’s body rises to a much higher level of awareness. Warmth, one that completely makes her forget about the bathroom floor’s cold tiles, spreads throughout her entire being and if it wasn’t for the fact that he was currently trying to pee, Amy would’ve pulled him into the tightest hug right there. But she doesn’t, of course, and instead settles for a gleaming smile.

“Mommy loves you too, honey,” He’s her very own bedhead, she thinks to herself lovingly running a hand through his hair. “And I’m so proud of you for waking me up to go potty.”

It’s very faint, too tired to put much effort into it but there’s definitely a small smile growing on her son’s face, When he falls asleep on top of her chest a bit later after he’s done and has been put into a clean diaper, just to be safe, the smile is still there, Amy can tell even in the dark.

Another occasion, it’s safe to say, happens when Amy leasts expects it. They’re running on ‘tantrum from hell: hour who-even-knows-anymore’, this time triggered by the banal fact that, no, Mac wasn’t allowed to play with the big knife Jake had been using to cut vegetables for their dinner.

Everyone has their bad days, the parents are well aware, but this one of Mac’s was particularly bad. All day, from the minute he woke up and went straight to the living room instead of joining his parents in their bad, he’d been extra fussy thereby not feeling content with whichever way his parents tried to fix his mood. They’d been understandable and gone easy on him all day, hopelessly trying to please him while also not just giving in to his unreasonable demands. It appeared that this was very a fine line to walk, and so far it sure hadn’t offered them the intended results. Both parents were exhausted and Mac screaming was far, so very far, from their ideal way of spending the evening in.

Both Jake and Amy have tried experimented with different tactics, some that are known to work. Picking him up to soothe him; ask him if he’s hurting somewhere; offering him to choose one of his daily snacks like a glass of milk, yoghurt or a fruit; suggesting that they play a game… But the little boy wants nothing. Nothing but that huge, sharp kitchen knife.

“Look, you can cry all you want, but daddy is not going to give you the knife. It’s dangerous, Mac,” Amy’s voice is definitely stern but nonetheless still calm well aware of the fact that screaming as well won’t get her anywhere. Besides that she also considers herself a structured, punctual but nonetheless also a cool mom: nevertheless enough is enough. She’s really had it by now, hands resting defensively on her hips as she feels a head ache creeping up on her meanwhile her 3 year old, who’s now lying face down on the kitchen floor, lets out yet another scream.

“Listen to mom, bud,” Jake intervenes the best he can without interrupting his wife’s operation. “She’s super right, you know? The knife is very very sharp and in your small hands it can easily slip and hurt you. We don’t want that.”

Another scream is how he’s thanked for the explanation and Jake, even though he loves his son unconditionally, has to roll his eyes and sigh. Logic is not relevant when you’re working with a toddler, he has learned but nonetheless gives it a try every time they’re back in the arena - only to be disappointed.

They try not to be the kind of parents that scold or punish their kid unless it’s necessary and they but alas this is not one of them. Amy has had it and shares a look of confirmation with her husband before proceeding - she needs him to back her up on this.

“Okay, McClane Santiago-Peralta,” Amy says strictly. Full name? This is the point of no return, Jake knows.

“If you’re going to continue to behave like this then that’s up to you, but that also means it’s time for time-out, because daddy and I don’t know how to help you, when you keep screaming like that.”

God, she hates this side of parenthood and this shade of herself, though she knows it necessary.

“Knife!” Mac cries out rolling onto his back and hitting the floor with the palms of his tiny hands in protest of now both the knife and the time-out.

“I’m not going to keep discussing this with you,” she makes up her mind, picks up her son which results in him screaming/crying even louder while also putting up a fight by wiggling his entire body in his mother’s hold. “If you’re not going to go by yourself, like the big boy I know you usually are, then I’ll have to carry you there.”

And so Amy, knowing that the most important thing right now is that she sticks to her pledges, starts walking out of the kitchen and down the hall towards her son’s room. The wiggling continues, the crying doesn’t come to quit and he even adds kicking into the air as she carries him to the mess of it all. He really doesn’t want to go, even less have his mommy take him there since it’ll mean that he’s really pushed her to the limit.

Then suddenly the next wail he lets out suddenly sends the situation down a completely different path.

“I just want the knife and I- I wuv you, mommy!” her son screams loudly through his cry, face all red and scrunched up as if he was cursing her which by nature results in Amy freezing on the spot, left to wonder what the hell had prompted that outburst.

That one was new, she thinks, and how the hell do you handle this exact situation right? On one hand his previous acts, and the fact that he’s still hysterical, means that he deserves to be sent to his room; on the other hand he just screamed, bloody murder, that he loves her… Parenthood was indeed so confusing sometimes.

A sigh leaves her body.

“I love you too, Mac,” she figures he deserves, and always will deserve, to hear it back - no matter how frustrating and crazy the situation might be.

“And daddy does too, but it’s really hard for us to help you when you scream and cry like that, baby,” she gives explaining the consequences of his tantrum one last shot, and, to her surprise, the boy actually stills in her arms and buries his face into her chest. The cries die out before transitioning to small sniffles and alas Amy sees the opportunity to, perhaps, talk some sense into her son.

“We’d much rather have you use your words, tell mommy and daddy what’s actually wrong, rather than having you scream and cry like this. Do you understand?”

There’s silence but Amy can feel Mac’s tiny head slide up and down in nod against his chest, and relief, although it might still just be a false sense of safety, floods her entire body.

“So, what is actually wrong? Why are you sad?”

“I-“ Mac sniffles trying to mould his thoughts. “I just wanted help daddy make food.”

Of course, she thinks internally rolling her eyes.

“I see,” she nods. “And you can help daddy cook, but next time you’ll have to say it like that. Use your words, okay?”

He nods again before lovingly grasping onto a strand of his mother’s hair.

“Good,” she pecks the top of his head. “Now,” she cranes her neck to look down at her son’s face where it’s half buried into her tear-stained shirt. “Do you want to be in your room by yourself for a bit to calm down, or do you want to come help me and daddy clean the kitchen and set the table?”

“I wan’ help,” he mumbles obviously lacking energy after spending it all throwing the tantrum, but if he wants to be with them and redeem himself then Amy won’t be the one to stop him. It took a while, but Amy always tries to remember that he’s still very little meaning that it’s inevitable that some social skills aren’t fully developed. So whenever he can come to his senses, with his parents guidance or not, Amy will of course be the first one to endorse it.

“I’m glad to hear that,” she walks back towards the kitchen with Mac resting silently in her arms.

A third memory that pops into Amy’s mind upon trying to remember the many random moment’s where her son has shared his love for her out loud and of the blue (Peralta-stylez), is one time (of the many) they went grocery shopping together. They’d been wandering around the big grocery store, her and Mac, targeting the cereal aisle, hand in hand with a basket in Amy’s free hand.

“Okay, since you and daddy ate the last of the Fruit Loops this morning we need to get some cereal. You think you can help me with that?” she looks down at her son who’s already looking up to meet her eyes. Mac’s enchanting glimmering eyes instantly light up at the thought of responsibility, a trait he’s definitely inherited from her, and prompts an eager nod. Before she can even say or explain further, which he probably doesn’t actually need her to, he’s let go of her hand.

“More Fwuit Loops!” he exclaims happily as his tiny legs take him ahead, down the aisle, to reach the mosaic of colourful cereal-boxes.

“Sure, if that’s what you want, babe, but maybe…” she walks towards him, "we could try something else for once?” she tries to not be too strict about her son’s eating habits, especially when she knows Fruit Loops is usually the only straight up sugary stuff he eats daily, but also, she has to admit, secretly wishes she could perhaps trick him and Jake to eat something just a bit less… candy-like.

“What?” he stops and looks at her with a frown. “Something else?”

“Yeah,” she catches up with him and looks as the many options before him. “Like… bran-flakes, maybe? They look yummy, right?”

Either Amy is a really bad actor or her son simply too smart, but nonetheless Mac looks more than quite unimpressed when his mom pulls a boring, brown box out from the shelf to showcase it

“I donno want brain-flakes ew, mommy” and the face Mac makes, a face of utter disgust, would be way more solid proof than a paternity test if one was needed - he is definitely, without a single doubt, Jake Peralta’s son - and she definitely can’t help but chuckle at the similarity he constantly carries with him.

The tiny human’s hand starts dancing across all the different packages, probably gathering himself a good dose of various germs that in the moment Amy can’t make herself care about, and every now and then he’ll stop to study a cereal that’s caught his child-brain and eyes’ attention.

“There are so many to choose from, huh babe?” she encourages but keeping her distance as to be supportive of him doing something on his own, independent like a big boy.

First he stops in front of the Cheerios, which Amy can totally be content with, but alas he quickly, to Amy’s chagrin, puts them back in their spot. Then come the Frosted Flakes with their blue box and cute tiger cartoon (the perfect child-trap) which, if possible, are even worse than Fruit Loops. Amy unconsciously frowns at the thought of having to rip the box of cereal from her son’s grip when he in a few seconds won’t let go and instead grab the Bran Flakes. But to Amy’s great relief Mac’s finger continue their trip down past the tiger-trap, mindlessly mumbling small nothings to himself that she can’t quite make out. Then, all at once seeming way more determined than with previous ones, Mac throws himself at a bright and colourful box.

“These!” he exclaims jumping up and down on the spot with the held over his head in victory.

As soon as she gets a closer look, having gently grabbed the box from her son, it dawns on Amy that Jake Peralta being the father of her child isn’t exclusively beneficial. Not when their child is asking for Sour Patch Kids morning cereal and Amy knows it’s because he’s inspired by his dad as Jake will gladly share his candy with his son whenever he happens to have some.

“Oh, baby… “ Amy tries to keep up a neutral face as to not reveal how she dreads to get something that’s somehow even worse than the king of artificial ingredients, Fruit Loops, and sultan of sugar, Frosted Flakes, combined. “You sure you don’t just wanna get the Fruit Loops then? I don’t think you’ll like Sour Patch Kids.”

“Yes I do! I eat them with daddy all the time!”

Of course.

Her son is completely oblivious to her dread and shines proudly thinking he’s pleased his mom by finding something new (which it is - Amy can’t deny that) to have for breakfast. And Amy’s mom-heart can’t get herself to contradict her son’s persuasion of the fact that he’s accomplished the mission she set up for him. No way. Not when his face flows with pride like it does now.

“Okay,” she surrenders with a forsaken smile. “We can get these, but they’re very sugary so only for weekend mornings, got it?” she puts her hand forward as to shake on the deal.

Either it’s the handshake that takes his mind off of it, or her 3-year old actually somehow understands nutritional values, but he doesn’t flinch, doesn’t hesitate to meet her hand with his own, agreeing with her proposed deal. Immediately after she hands him back the box, it’s a mystery to Amy how such a simple thing can make her son that happy, he beams with excitement and basically hugs the box of sugary sweetness. Amy has to chuckle and then he’s off again to do his own little thing, prancing down the remains of the aisle chanting a made-up song, Amy guesses, to himself.

“Cereal. Breakfast. I love cereal. I love breakfast. I love mommy and mommy loves cereal and me and daddy and breakfast. Cereal, cereal, cereal!”

And to her, and Jake’s, sheer luck Amy manages to snap a short video of it for them to enjoy and fuss about for years.

That same night, Friday, they’re all lounging on the couch watching a movie. Tangled as per Mr. Mac’s demand because “Flynn Eugene whatever is really cool and the pretty princess hits him with a pan and the horse and green little thing are super fun too.”

So, needing no further arguments, they watch Tangled and snack on Sour Patch Kids (the candy, not the cereal) that Jake had bought on his way home from work after Amy had texted him about their adventure at the grocery store, attaching the video of their son singing.

Although, after a long day, by the time the lanterns in the movie light up the dark sky while Rapunzel and Flynn sing to each other, Mac is half, almost completely, passed out with his head in Amy’s lap and legs stretched across his father’s. Mommy stroking your face and playing with your curls turns out to be very soothing and sleep-inducing. Jake can also, if asked to testify, agree with this fact. Guess there’s something special about Peralta-curls Amy simply can’t resist.

“Ames, I think he’s asleep,” Jake whispers discreetly throwing his wife a knowing smile when he notices his son’s current state.

She, having not noticed being too busy watching the movie, looks down and sees, indeed, a sweet angel face with shut eyes and pouty lips that indicated that her son is, if not entirely, on the verge of being asleep. Nevertheless, every 30 seconds or so, his eyes will flutter just a bit, like tiny butterfly wings, as if he’s fighting to see the end of the movie - a movie he’s seen 134 times already.

“You want to go to bed, Mac?” she coos leaning down to peck his temple.

“Nu-uh,” he fights off the urge to say yes, Amy can tell.

“You sure?” she tries again.

He nods heavily in her lap, shuffling a bit in an attempt to get comfortable enough to, Amy knows, fall asleep. But he can’t seem to find the right spot, is surely overtired too and both parents can tell it’s a matter of minutes before he’ll give in to either fall asleep on the couch or demand to be put to bed.

And they’re right.

“Mommy,” he mumbles in the most exhausted and soft soft voice that makes Amy’s heart flutter time after time. “I love you but I wanna sleep - in my bed.”

Those three words, especially coming from Mac, will never seize to send a tiny jolt of joy and dopamine through her entire being. She chuckles softly stroking his back.

“That’s okay, baby. We’ve had a long day. Let's get you to bed.”

“Okay, I love you mommy. And daddy. Love,” he passes out before he can finish the sentence and won’t even notice his father carrying him to bed while Amy gazes after them with loving eyes.

Even three years in, four if you count the pregnancy, she can’t believe this sweet, beautiful and smart boy is hers. A bundle of love that is half her and half the man she loves the most (next to Mac himself, of course). Parenthood is an irregular graph with ups and down, but they have so much love that it’ll make up for the bad days and hard cases. In the very end the most important thing is that he, Mac Santiago-Peralta with his brown curly hair, tiny nose and deep brown eyes, is here and he’s theirs. Not only is he theirs but he is his own and he loves them, his parents, so much, every day. Plus, he’s so good at actually expressing it that Amy can’t help but feel like they’re definitely doing something right. She’s proud to know her son is surrounded by so much love that it has planted a seed that everyday blooms within him, making him spill over and spread his care and love to other people.

So, yes, Amy Santiago is 100% sure: she is definitely the luckiest, most loved mom in the entire universe. Mac Santiago-Peralta will always make sure of this.

165 notes · View notes

musical-chick-13 · 3 years

Note

And Theon bc I love him

WHAT A COINCIDENCE I LOVE HIM TOO (this answer is gonna be a combination of books and show)

Send me a character and I’ll tell you the following:

• Did they live up to their potential? / In what ways was their potential unachieved?

-I would say yes. The only negative I have about his general arc is his death (which, see below). But Theon from the very beginning was, though not a particularly nice person, still relatable. Feeling othered, wanting to be accepted by an immediate environment that doesn’t accept you, isolated from and ostracized by your family, and the tension that comes between serving the different types of familial relationships in your life. Theon has no idea who he is, tossed aside by his blood family for not growing up with them and being “soft,” aka sort-of moral and having emotions that aren’t selfish rage or smugness (which, yep, that second part is a mood, see: my entire childhood and how no one wanted to be around an “emotional” “soft” child). And from there, he spirals out of control in a way that, while certainly not admirable by any stretch of the imagination, is still understandable in the context of the narrative and his characterization. And from there, after going through hell and quite literally losing himself (even to the point of straight-up denying rescue), he builds himself back up gradually, to the point where he expressed extreme regret for what he’s done, helps an innocent woman escape a truly horrifying situation, acknowledges that his family is generally garbage, and (in-show b/c again books aren’t finished), helping to restore his sister to power, rescuing her after his PTSD relapses while confronting Euron, and ultimately opting to protect the Starks come hell or high water in order to genuinely atone for what he’s done. He is no longer conflicted because he wants to do the right thing, and that right thing is defending the kingdom from the White Walkers and making sure Sansa and Bran are safe. And it’s no longer about fulfilling a duty or finding a family to fill the void. Because now he has found himself. I will contend that Theon has one of the best, most nuanced, most organic redemption arcs of all time. I will forever be grateful that I got to see that piece of storytelling unfold.

Although, I would love to know what he thought of Dany. A missed opportunity, that.

• How they negatively and positively affected the story.

-Positive: His arc of identity and finding where your loyalties lie ties into the overall theme of “How do you find yourself in a world where goodness, authenticity, and honesty are often punished and increasingly rare?” And it proves that governmental politics aren’t the only defining factors in decisions: familial politics can be just as difficult and dangerous, which adds yet another rich, complicated layer to the overall story. He has a genuine, honest-to-Drowned-God redemption arc, which is...not really present anywhere else in the story (no, Jaime is not on a Redemption Quest, I will die on this hill). But I think the biggest draw of Theon’s presence is that it deconstructs the whole “Character Revenge Fantasy” idea. He does bad things. We want him to be punished. But not like that. No one deserves that. How far is too far? What does retribution really look like? Given how easily that idea can be abused and go off the rails, is retribution even something to strive for? What is the point of using extreme violence/torture/mutilation/breaking someone’s psyche when it doesn’t really accomplish anything? Isn’t atonement and genuine justice a better option? It certainly was for Theon. He could only piece himself back together and do anything meaningful once he was out of his abusive environment. All of these are imporant questions that are posed by his existence in the narrative.

-Negative: Idk if I have much to say here. My biggest problem is his death (see below), but that’s not really a negative story effect so much as...being disappointing and narratively irrelevant. I gotta say, his introduction via his sister was...really weird. I genuinely have no idea why GRRM wrote that. It never came up again or had any kind of narrative ramifications and kind of cast a strange, uncomfortable light on his relationship with Asha/Yara for the remainder of the story. I can ignore and enjoy their later relationship it if I don’t think about it too hard, though, so I guess I’ll chalk it up to GRRM having a Bad Idea.

• What my favorite arc for them is.

-All of it?? Theon’s journey is kind of...one big arc, which is why I think it works so well. He has this overarching redemption plot which spans the entire series and informs every decision he makes (for good or for bad, depending on where in the aforementioned journey he is). The redemption arc isn’t bogged down with side plots or other pieces of narrative clutter, meaning it has time to grow and, thus, be gradual and realistic. If I had to choose a specific point, it’s probably when he tries to reintegrate back into society via supporting Yara. Gaining the Iron Islands’ support for her ruling, spiriting away with Euron’s fleet, and ultimately rescuing his sister after her capture. He can’t just go back into society. He’s scared. He has really bad PTSD. But he recognizes that putting his home in good hands is something bigger than just him because it’s Yara’s home, too. I just...I really love family relationships, y’all.

• What I think of their ending.

-I’m not really sure how I feel about this one. I get that the series is GrimDark™ and that people who make the right choice and fight for good die all the time, but Theon dying just felt...wrong. To me.

And, like...I get it. It makes sense to parallel his original descent into villainy (cemented by executing those two boys and pretending they were Bran and Rickon) with him dying to protect Bran himself. It ties into the whole very common trope of completing a full redemption arc by committing a completely selfless act at great personal cost. It’s kind of like the whole Missy thing in Doctor Who (which...hoo boy, that post is coming, make no mistake), where selfishness is directly opposed by making the ultimate sacrifice with no motivation for personal gain. And the fact that the last words he ever heard were “You’re a good man?” I cannot even begin to describe how much that makes me sob. But...honestly, I’m really tired of this idea that redemption has to end in death in order to be achieved or “complete.” I think it’s much more poignant to have a redeemed character live to help build a better world. Because what’s the point of telling people to be better if the “reward” is death? No one’s going to want to reform themselves if they think that’ll be the result.

I think the thing that Bugs Me™ the most is that Theon never really got to have a moment of peace when he was alive. Sansa gained the North’s love and at least had a secure childhood. Ned and Cat were happily married for years. Arya had parents who loved her and a good relationship with Jon. Jon fell in love with Ygritte and found his Night Watch Bros, and Robb (in show verse) had some very happy moments with Talisa. Davos put great stock in what he considered fulfilling friendships with Stannis and Shireen; Brienne was treated respectfully by Renly, Catelyn, and Sansa; Missandei and Grey Worm had each other and their friendship with Dany, who herself had many personal successes in her quest for the Iron Throne and saw the death of her abusive brother. Cersei even had moments with Jaime (who himself had several notable military victories and at least some time with Myrcella, as well as being gladly and deeply in love, however dysfunctional that love was), times when she successfully fought off enemies (including her dad), and some sweet moments with Tommen, as well as a huge victory via blown-up sept at the end of season 6. Theon was treated as a second-class family member by the Starks his whole life by being “traded” to them as a condition of war resolution AS A BABY, is immediately disparaged and mistreated by his immediate family when he tries to return to them, makes terrible decisions that almost cost him his conscience completely, is brutally tortured by Ramsay, is on the run with his sister from Euron almost immediately after, and has a PTSD attack that ultimatly results in him having to launch a rescue mission. And then he fights ice zombies. And then he dies. He never really...got to be happy at all? There was never any kind of “win” for him. Not even survival. The narrative couldn’t even give him that.

TLDR: Theon’s death seemed less shock-value-y than others (like, for example, Shireen or Missandei or, heck, Melisandre even), and it isn’t the worst thing I’ve ever seen. It’s narratively-informed and it makes sense as an emotional through-line, but, ultimately, Redemption Cemented By Selfless Death is a tired trope, and I honestly thought this story (which...you know...serves as a deconstruction of common fantasy tropes/book tropes in general) was better than that.

• When I wish they had died. / If I think they should’ve died.

-So here’s where we get personal™ kids.

So, it’s no secret that I am...severely mentally ill. I’ve talked about expression/presentation of mental illness in regard to Cersei a lot on this blog, and how that (as paradoxical as it may seem) helped bring a sense of comfort and emotional resonance to me. Theon, post-Ramsay, has, I think, a very clear case of PTSD. Theon is one of the few characters I’ve seen where his mental illness isn’t the cause of the bad, violent, dangerous choices he makes. It only takes root after he has made the decision and conscious effort to better himself, and it, rather than demonizing him, serve to humanize him. His trauma didn’t define him. And although a PTSD attack led to him unintentionally losing Yara to Euron’s capture, he makes every effort to rescue her, a goal he does end up achieving. It is so rare I get to see a character who goes through these things, successfully fight them and come out with positive qualities at the end. Like...switching topics a bit here, Jaime going back to King’s Landing to (try to) escape and ultimately die with Cersei made sense to me because, as Jaime says, he is a hateful man. He never made much of an honest effort to be anything else. And he never truly wanted to be good; he just wanted to be liked. He wanted to adopt some personality that would make him feel less disconnected from the rest of the world. But Theon...genuinely feels remorse for everything he’s done. He makes a concerted effort to do everything in his power to improve the lives of people he believes are good and deserve to be safe. So, just...killing him off in a Completely Selfless Sacrifice (like...you know how a lot of mentally ill people put themselves through suffering-like OCD rituals, bottling feelings, self-harm, even suicide-in a misplaced attempt to “help” or “protect other people”) seemed antithetical to everything we saw of his arc.

Ultimately, with such a humanizing, empathetic portrayal of trauma and mental health struggles, seeing Theon be killed off just...pissed me off. I am so tired of seeing mentally ill characters die. I really want to believe that I can live through and thrive in spite of the things that afflict me, and I get example after example of characters not being allowed to do that. It feels awful, quite frankly. And it makes hope that much harder.

I also just feel like...there was nothing the story gained from his death? I get the thematic parallels as mentioned earlier, but it didn’t really move the story forward in any significant way. It didn’t motivate other characters to do anything, it had no political ramifications, it didn’t serve to contribute to any kind of happy ending or commentary on society, it just...was sad. Again, I thought this story was better than that.

#theon greyjoy #got #my son #mental illness in media #meta #redemption arcs #tw: self harm mention #tw: suicide mention

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nothingunrealistic · 3 years

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another sorta jumping off prompt abt Billions In Full: thinking abt any & all instances of taylor's arcs having kinda Becoming Adrift or Struggling w A Quandary points that resolve into Turning Points & any such moments you might have especially had Thoughts Or Feelings abt in full context & knowledge of the series? a la navigating axe cap & axe's guidance vs their qualms in s2, the fancy watch saga, everything re douglas, anything re wendy, having plans to leave across s3, that kind of concept

hmm okay what Moral Quandary arcs do they have. let’s consider it

1. the sandicot fiasco (2x04-2x07): if you don’t count playing in the alpha cup / breaking krakow as a moral quandary (which taylor might, tbh) this is the first time they have to grapple with their principles. taylor is in on this from the beginning, researching the likelihood of sandicot getting a gambling license at axe’s request and telling axe there’s no reason to invest if they don’t get the license. when the license falls through, taylor is brought into the war room figuring out how to recover axe cap’s investment, and spells out both the repercussions of austerity and the reasons they think it’s the right choice. (people living in poverty? offensive. cities overreaching their budgets? MORE offensive, apparently.) mostly i find this arc boring & embarrassing to watch (libertarianism? in taylor? cringe), rather than compelling, but i’m still distraught over taylor telling axe “i find myself thinking in your words sometimes” in 2x05. (the words in question are “shit hole,” re: sandicot, which doesn’t help.)

2. the klaxon short (2x09-2x11): this actually starts out totally unrelated to taylor — dollar bill tells axe about klaxon, a company he is Not Uncertain will crash; axe hesitates to make this trade on inside information but decides to go for it. ben kim and mafee both fail to produce analysis that supports the short; taylor manages it because they analyze the situation from a different angle, and because they suspect axe has inside information supporting a short and just needs it to seem legitimate. coming up with this analysis, and signing off on it, gets taylor a promotion, a spontaneous bonus ($500k!) from axe, and thank-you money ($250k!) from dollar bill, but they’re conflicted enough about it to stop by the SDNY and find out what connerty knows first; seeing their signature on the report puts them under even more suspicion from connerty. this is the first arc that really Feels like a moral compromise for taylor, because they’re more obviously conflicted about it and get more material rewards for it.

3. their stance on fossil fuels (2x09-present): less a character arc than a character sinusoid. taylor’s reluctant to take a private jet given the carbon footprint, but axe insisting it’s fine if they buy some carbon offsets is enough to change their mind. they pitch ESG to grigor, an oil oligarch, as an act of sabotage because they don’t want axe cap to take his money, but they’re willing to take his money for mase cap, and to win over a sovereign wealth fund that gets its money from oil. they still somehow have an environmentalist reputation to preserve after all this, so they short fracking publicly and bait axe into legalizing fracking so they’ll profit privately. then from 5x03 onward, they’ve committed firmly to the Earth-Positive Approach, which somehow encompasses both convincing colleges to divest from fossil fuels and investing in fossil fuels themself while vowing to clean up the companies responsible. i don’t think this is taylor’s principles shifting so much as their commitment to those principles weakening when they’re in new and dire straits — torn between their personal and professional lives, desperate to break away from axe cap and make it on their own, or reeling from a rift in their family. in contrast, season 5 is about taylor (and everyone else) trying to get back on track & clean up the wreckage of their past choices — makes sense that it would include recommitting to the environmentalist approach. so i also have to wonder where it’ll go in the rest of season 5 — will mase carbon and its mission survive that long, or will some unforeseen crisis derail it?

4. having nice things (2x09-present): pretty much every instance of taylor purchasing some new & pricey thing accompanies another moral quandary, rather than the purchase itself being the only thing taylor’s torn about. for instance: reserving a flight on a private jet, as mentioned, while conflicted about the ethics of doing so and of Living Large more generally; signing the lease on a luxurious penthouse apartment after signing off on the klaxon short; buying the same $164k watch craig heidecker wore to quell their guilt over having profited from his death and wearing it every day, only taking it off when they’ve formally left axe cap and resolved to do business at mase cap The Right Way. similarly, though it’s never addressed in the show, i’m pretty sure taylor’s apartment in season 5 is a different, cheaper apartment than the one they rented in seasons 2-4 — the front door and interior layout we see in 5x02 are totally different from what we’ve seen before — and that this is another manifestation of taylor trying to get back on track / recommit to their principles in season 5. (it might also be that their income was reduced just a bit by mase cap crashing and burning and being forced back to axe cap and they decided to relocate to save on rent. multiple things can be true at once.) the only exception that comes to mind is axe offering to buy taylor a land rover to thank them for running axe cap: taylor turns it down, asks for a billion dollars of their own to manage, then changes their mind and asks for the car too once axe says yes to the billion. they’re not really in a moral quandary in that moment so much as a “wow it sucks that axe is taking the reins of axe cap back from me and undoing all my hard work, i’d like to have some semblance of control and power still, please” quandary, and we never see the land rover again after that, so it’s not exactly memorable. i still want to know what they did with it.

5. selling out oscar’s investment to axe (3x10-5x06): i would not count this as a moral quandary because i firmly believe that Taylor Did Nothing Wrong (in this case), but the 3x10 episode summary describes this incident as “taylor makes a personal compromise for business,” so i guess we have to consider it. taylor asks axe for a favor involving oscar and his business partner, then thanks axe for the favor and mentions the name of said business partner, as one might do when conversing with a trusted colleague / mentor. axe, who is scrounging for cash and should never be trusted, swipes the deal oscar was making; when taylor confronts him about it, he insists that they wanted him to swipe the deal, or else they wouldn’t have namedropped the business partner. it’s unclear whether or not taylor believes this / blames themself for what happened, but oscar certainly blames them — he refuses taylor’s offer of a conciliatory dinner in 3x12 because “after what you did, i could never open myself up to you again,” and tells the marithane ceo in 5x06 that taylor solving his patent issue actually proves just how untrustworthy they are, because “if they’re willing to do that for you today, they’re willing to do it to you later.” yet he was still willing to invest with taylor and have them make money for him, so long as axe’s name wasn’t attached. make it make sense, oscar!

6. selling douglas’s company (4x07-4x08): again, i don’t consider this a moral quandary because taylor was forced into a no-win situation by axe and wendy, and also because douglas just sucks, but again, the writing demands that we consider it. taylor was ready to partner with a VC on funding the development of douglas’s lattice fin design, but axe pulled some strings and got the federal government to demand the technology for national security reasons. with the VC and existing investors abandoning mase cap left and right, there was no way for taylor to keep both douglas’s technology and mase cap, so they chose to sell the tech to the government and keep their company afloat, at the cost of their already-crumbling relationship with douglas finally collapsing. naturally, axe then went on tv and spun this as taylor selling out their own father by flipping his company for their profit. much like what happened with oscar, this is yet another incident that’s more axe’s fault than taylor’s being described as a terrible choice taylor made that proves they can’t be trusted. (this only occasionally happens with actual questionable choices taylor made more freely — connerty prodding them about their new apartment in 2x11, danzig pointing out that taylor “led the charge in wringing cash from sandicot” in 4x01, axe also bringing up taylor taking grigor’s money in his tv appearance in 4x08.)

#inbox #unproduciblesmackdown #billions #taylor mason #numbering these manually was a real struggle. pretty sure I had the last three points all numbered 4. at one point while writing this

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egle0702 · 4 years

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[TRANS] GQ June ‘20 - Wooyoung Interview

2PM Jang Wooyoung: “I lived hard like crazy”

2020.05.21 INTERVIEW

Wooyoung has blazed through life, but he also knows how to be quiet. That’s why he’s smart and strong. Like steel that has been repeatedly heated and cooled down.

You’re attentively monitoring during the shooting, has anything changed since you’ve been discharged from the military? My face hasn’t changed or anything like that. Rather than that, I’m just amazed. I had no idea I would be shooting a pictorial so soon after the discharge.

I suppose there must’ve been so many things you wanted to do. Every time I had some time off in the army, my head felt overwhelming. What should I do next? How should I live? All sorts of thoughts flooded in. In order to not have that time wasted, I transferred those thoughts and worries into written words. At first, there was a lot of embarrassing content, even for me. But it got better after a while. Aside from my future plans, I also looked back on my interpersonal relationships and my way of life. I thought whether I have lived well, whether I haven’t made mistakes when dealing with others.

I can feel your determination. In the army, there are a lot of kids who are younger than me. If I ask them about their worries, they would usually say: “You’ve already achieved everything, you don’t know how we feel.” We might come from a different starting point, but the fear of a beginning is the same. I’m more afraid compared to when I was 17 or 20 and just honestly ran towards my dreams.

You’re 32 now. In your opinion, what privilege does this age give you? Disregarding how you’ve spent your 10s and 20s, I think it gives you the chance to be kinder. You could say that you become mature. You become a better and stronger person when you look back at your past mistakes and experiences. If you add a drop of that 20s spirit into the mix, it’d be even better.

What was Jang Wooyoung like in his 20s? I was busy filling myself up, and then pouring everything out the moment I was full.

You’ve lived hard; after all, your work requires you to keep on showing something to the public. Generally speaking, I could divide my 20s into “before” and “after” by placing the mark on when I was 25. Right after the debut, I really lived and worked hard. Back then, there was a saying “killer schedule,” and the saying wasn’t a lie. I worked hard and was extremely busy, but I’m thankful for it. When else you’d be able to live like that. Compared to my efforts, the popularity achieved was great, I also made money. But once I turned 25; shall I call it adolescence? It was a mess. I wasn’t present in my life. I considered dropping everything and going back to my hometown in Busan.

But that didn’t happen. There’s only one thing that proves my existence; and that was the reason I pulled myself together. “I’m a member of 2PM, I cannot betray 2PM.” From that moment on, the meaning of “let’s live hard” changed. Making sure that I wouldn’t cause harm to others, I had fun, met a lot of people, and decided to learn a lot of things including drawing. Through feeling and experiencing as much as possible, I wanted to awaken the senses within me. I lived hard like crazy.

You expressed those feelings in the song “I like” that’s included in your 2nd solo album, right? 2PM, drawing, piano; you talk about the things you like, and then you say “I’m curious about everything in this world, I want to know, I scoot off.” True. I feel strongly about that song, but every time I listen to it, I can’t help but snort. I wonder whether I really should’ve been that honest with my lyrics. On the other hand, I wonder how hard it must’ve been. I feel sorry for Jang Wooyoung from that time.

What are you curious about these days? Laundry know-how. Haha.

I heard you say you’re into laundry in the video interview just now, too. I’m nurturing my daily life skills. I want to try and deal with things like laundry and cooking on my own, without any help.

Aren’t you curious why 2PM’s “My House” that was released 5 years ago is suddenly riding a new wave of popularity? It’s definitely something we’re thankful for. I think about it this way. 2PM as group never did anything by force. At first, we showed high level performances that could be practically carried out by young men in their early 20s. We danced, sang, and did acrobatic performances. Brimming with energy, we sang straightforward love songs. After that, we toned down on that power a bit. We began telling sad love stories with our eyes in love, and then we arrived at “My House.” Like a natural process of a brat growing into a mature and charismatic lover. I saw a comment that said “I’m sorry, I’ve become your fan just now,” but I’m actually thankful because it feels like these people have recognized the things 2PM have done in our natural flow.

It’s your 13th year since your debut. How does it feel when you hear that someone has just found out about 2PM? It’s only natural that someone doesn’t know us. The general flow of the trend changes really fast. The competition is also fierce, so you need put a lot of effort if you want to appeal to the masses. But then suddenly, we’re back into the spotlight through “My House.” In the middle of a hiatus no less. I think it’s a miracle.

Aside from “My House,” what other song comes to mind if you had to perform it again? I want to try and pour my entire soul into performing “Without U” that was released 10 years ago. I was responsible for the part where I had to make my singing feel like crying out loud, but back in the days I was the only one to lip sync because the situation with my voice go so bad, I even had vocal cord nodules. I’m still very disappointed I couldn’t perform it live.

2PM has reached the top, your skills were also acknowledged. How do you see yourself in the context of Korean music scene? Hmm, I can’t think of anything else than “Korean idols.” Our activities haven’t always been smooth, but I’m proud of it.

I heard that the meaning of your group’s name is the “hottest time of the day.” When was Jang Wooyoung the hottest? There was a concert in Germany in 2013, commemorating the 130th anniversary of the establishment of diplomatic relations between Korea and Germany. We performed together with senior Lee Mija. I was shocked when I saw her rehearsal. It’s already amazing that she’s still actively performing, but I could feel that she’s constantly striving to sing well. At that, I couldn’t help but freeze and promise myself “Jang Wooyoung, pull yourself together, and work hard.”

You’re the type who learns everything first-hand by experiencing it, right? I heard that you sought out senior Choi Baekho after watching his documentary to share your worries about music, even though you’ve never met him before. That was when I was going through that “adolescence” in my 20s. I felt consoled after watching senior Choi Baeho’s documentary, but there were still things I was frustrated about. So, I contacted him because I wanted to know how he managed to endure everything through his long years in the music scene. Here’s what he said during our first meeting: “My songs will keep on getting better with age. Just like the songs I sang in my 40s were more beautiful than the ones I did in my 30s, I’m heading towards being complete.” When I heard that, I felt like someone slapped me.

I think you can already give advice to someone who’s having similar worries. Have you ever experienced that? I have younger friends in Busan. We danced and dreamed of debuting together. It might sound selfish, but ever since my debut, I’ve never told them anything positive or hopeful about this line of work. When I passed the JYP audition, there was one young friend who cried together with me. Even to that friend, I said: “Can’t you please give up? I wish you didn’t suffer as much as me.” Back then it was really hard mentally and physically. Now my thoughts have changed. If you’re desperate and you’re confident that you will enjoy this constant fight with yourself, I would tell them to go for it. But I would like to tell them to come up with a wise approach to this because it’s easy to get tired and give up along the way.

You’re famous for having focused only JYP auditions. Do you still remember when you placed 1st at the 1st open audition? That must’ve been my 6th attempt to audition. Had I failed back then, I would’ve tried again. I sometimes watch the videos from that time, and I both like it and feel regret. Because the me on the screen looks somewhat tired. If I had allowed myself a little bit more freedom, stepped back and looked at the reality, I would’ve been a lot stronger kid.

What do you think you’ve done really well in life? That I’ve never calculated or analysed anything rationally in my relationships. I liked the other person without knowing anything about the world, and I suffered a lot when the relationship ended. I have my regrets, and I’ve also heard that it’s not a good way to approach a relationship, but someone like me just couldn’t help it. That experience made me into what I am today. I don’t regret it.

How important is love in life? If a person is of no. 1 importance, then love is no. 0. It’s a vague concept, I don’t even know if I can express love properly, but I can feel love through people.

It’s your birthday in 3 days, what would you imagine as a perfect gift? When I was serving, our company moved to a new building. The building is big, and the facilities got better. The practice rooms are also great. I wish I had my own personal space there, could be small too, where I could practice dancing all day long without bothering about others. For real.

So, shall we make an appeal? In your opinion, how much did 2PM contribute to JYP’s new company building? A lot, I think. It’s a 9-storey building, so I’d say around 4.5 floors?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CREDITS

· Feature editor: Kim Youngjae

· Photographer: Go Wontae

· Hair: Yang Hyungshim at Yangyangsalon

· Makeup: Kim Doyeon at Yangyangsalon

· Editor: Heoram

Source: GQ WEBSITE

Kor-Eng: Egle0702

#GQ #GQ Korea #Wooyoung #2PM #Wooyoung GQ #Wooyoung interview #translation

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newstfionline · 3 years

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Thursday, April 22, 2021

Arizona third-grader holds food drives to help in pandemic (AP) Neighbors walked by during their morning stroll, passing families waved from their bikes and drivers slowed down long enough to read the hand-drawn sign—“Dylan’s Food Drive.” The poster was taped to two PVC pipes that were stuck inside construction cones for support. It was a typical scene for 8-year-old Dylan Pfeifer, who has been staging food drives from his home in metro Phoenix in response to the pandemic. Each drive is the culmination of hours of work that involves drawing posters, going door-to-door to hand out flyers and working with his mother to post information on Facebook. Dylan has hosted three drives from his home in Chandler, about 20 miles (32 kilometers) southeast of Phoenix. He said he is planning his next one in June, when summer vacation begins. Dylan says he has collected more than 1,000 cans and boxes of nonperishable food and more than $900 in donations. On its website, St. Mary’s Food Bank in Phoenix says it can convert $1 into seven meals, meaning Dylan has been able to provide more than 6,500 meals on just monetary donations. “It’s rare that you see kids at Dylan’s age who have a handle on what the problem is in their community, the people around them who are affected by it, and have the courage to do something about it,” said Jerry Brown, director of media relations at St. Mary’s Food Bank Alliance. Erin Pfeifer said the best part for her, as his mother, has been watching Dylan grow.

Verdict heard around the world: Global reactions to the George Floyd case (Washington Post) The conviction of former Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin in the killing of George Floyd resonated globally, with foreign dignitaries and community leaders reacting to a verdict that revived calls for an international reckoning on racial inequality in justice systems around the world. Chauvin, who is White, was found guilty Tuesday of second-degree unintentional murder, third-degree murder and second-degree manslaughter in the death of Floyd, a Black man he pinned down outside a Minneapolis grocery store last year. Foreign media outlets ran live coverage, showing how the trial resonated far beyond its national context, and highlighting the outsized role the U.S. racial justice conversation plays internationally, as the rest of the world is forced to grapple with its own race relations. Floyd’s killing in May proved to be a moment of reckoning not only in the United States but also across the world, as protesters took to the streets calling for justice in his case and pointing to what they saw as parallels in their communities. In Japan, crowds last year gathered in Osaka holding signs that read “Black lives matter,” while in Germany, protesters took to the streets of Berlin holding placards that said “White silence is violence” and “I can’t breathe.” In Britain last year, they chanted for Mark Duggan, a 29-year-old who was shot by police during his attempted arrest in 2011. In France, they said the name Adama Traoré, a 24-year-old who died in police custody in 2016. In Australia, where Floyd’s death last year spurred a resurgence in activism over Indigenous people’s deaths in police custody, the guilty verdict led to fresh calls for authorities to scrutinize more than 400 Aboriginal deaths in custody.

Surveillance Nation (BuzzFeed News) A controversial facial recognition tool designed for policing has been quietly deployed across the country with little to no public oversight. According to reporting and data reviewed by BuzzFeed News, more than 7,000 individuals from nearly 2,000 public agencies nationwide have used Clearview AI to search through millions of Americans’ faces, looking for people, including Black Lives Matter protesters, Capitol insurrectionists, petty criminals, and their own friends and family members. BuzzFeed News has developed a searchable table of 1,803 publicly funded agencies whose employees are listed in the data as having used or tested the controversial policing tool before February 2020. These include local and state police, US Immigration and Customs Enforcement, the Air Force, state healthcare organizations, offices of state attorneys general, and even public schools. In many cases, leaders at these agencies were unaware that employees were using the tool. Such widespread use of Clearview means that facial recognition may have been used in your hometown with very few people knowing about it. The New York City–based startup claims to have amassed one of the largest-known repositories of pictures of people’s faces—a database of more than 3 billion images scraped without permission from places such as Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn. If you’ve posted images online, your social media profile picture, vacation snapshots, or family photos may well be part of a facial recognition dragnet that’s been tested or used by law enforcement agencies across the country.

Violence erupts as Mexico’s deadly gangs aim to cement power in largest ever elections (The Guardian) Violent clashes between rival Mexican criminal groups—and their alleged allies in the security forces—are escalating ahead of mid-term elections in June, triggering a string of political assassinations and the forced displacement of thousands. With more than 21,000 posts in local, state and national government up for election—including 15 state governorships—the 6 June polls are the largest in Mexico’s history, and criminal groups see the elections as an opportunity to further their interests. Much of the recent fighting has focused on the western state of Michoacán, where the Cartel Jalisco Nueva Generación (Jalisco New Generation cartel) has stepped up its conflict with an alliance of local groups calling themselves the United Cartels. The violence has forced more than a thousand people to flee the area, feeding the flow of migrants heading to the US to seek asylum. “They are leaving because they get caught in the crossfire, because their homes have been destroyed, [and] because the main roads into [the area] have been carved up to stop the advance of the Jaliscos,” said Gregorio López, a Catholic priest who has sheltered refuges in the nearby city of Apatzingán. The Jalisco cartel, Mexico’s fastest-expanding criminal network, considers Michoacán, rich in international trafficking routes and extortion markets, a key building block in its bid for national criminal hegemony. But its decade-long attempt to take over the region has so far been frustrated by the local opponents’ deep political and social roots. With neither side able to impose its designs on the other or willing to back down, more than 15,500 homicides have been recorded here from January 2011 to February this year.

In Putin’s Standoff With Navalny, Many Russians Put Faith in President (WSJ) Thousands of demonstrators are expected to take to the streets in many Russian cities Wednesday in support of Alexei Navalny, the jailed opposition leader who has galvanized popular discontent with the long rule of President Vladimir Putin. But even as the opposition leader stirs dissent, Mr. Putin can count on the support of many Russians who either trust in his leadership, fear the uncertainties of political change or disapprove of Mr. Navalny and his protest movement. “If it were up to me, Putin would stay another 20 years in power,” said fashion designer Irina Larkina from her home in a drab apartment block in this Russian city on the Baltic sea. “He’s the one who has boosted our living standards and given us respect for ourselves again.” Even amid falling living standards and Western sanctions, Mr. Putin continues to enjoy enviable approval ratings. Sociologists say while few may feel deep support for Mr. Putin, the Kremlin can continue to count on approval ratings of around 60%. “There’s a point at which popularity won’t fall any further,” said Lev Gudkov, head of independent polling organization Levada Center. “The country has fallen into two camps, but the Kremlin knows there is a wealth of support it can still draw from within the population, even though it’s fallen in recent years,” he added.

Indian hospitals buckle amid virus surge (AP) Seema Gandotra, sick with the coronavirus, gasped for breath in an ambulance for 10 hours as it tried unsuccessfully to find an open bed at six hospitals in India’s sprawling capital. By the time she was admitted, it was too late, and the 51-year-old died hours later. Rajiv Tiwari, whose oxygen levels began falling after he tested positive for the virus, has the opposite problem: He identified an open bed, but the resident of Lucknow in Uttar Pradesh can’t get to it. “There is no ambulance to take me to the hospital,” he said. These tragedies are now everyday occurrences in the vast country, which is seeing its largest surge of the pandemic so far and watching its chronically underfunded health system crumble. Tests are delayed. Medical oxygen is scarce. Hospitals are understaffed and overflowing. Intensive care units are full. Nearly all ventilators are in use, and the dead are piling up at crematoriums and graveyards. India recorded over 250,000 new infections and over 1,700 deaths in the past 24 hours alone, and the U.K. announced a travel ban on most visitors from the country this week. Overall, India has reported more than 15 million cases and some 180,000 deaths—and experts say these numbers are likely undercounted. “The surge in infections has come like a storm and a big battle lies ahead,” Prime Minister Narendra Modi said in an address to the nation Tuesday night.

Further evidence in case against Indian activists accused of terrorism was planted, new report says (Washington Post) An unknown hacker planted more than 30 documents that investigators deemed incriminating on a laptop belonging to an Indian activist accused of terrorism, a new forensic analysis finds, indicating a more extensive use of malicious software than previously revealed. The report will heighten concerns about the controversial prosecution of a group of government critics under Prime Minister Narendra Modi. Known as the Bhima Koregaon case, the prosecution is considered a bellwether for the rule of law in India. Human rights groups and legal experts view the case as an effort by the government to clamp down on critics. The space for dissent has diminished in Modi’s India, where journalists, activists and members of nongovernmental organizations have faced arrest and harassment. The activists accused in the case deny the charges against them. They include a prominent academic, a labor lawyer, a leftist poet, a Jesuit priest and two singers. All are advocates for the rights of the country’s most disadvantaged communities and vocal opponents of the ruling party. Many of them have been jailed for nearly three years as they await trial.

Community pantries offer reprieve from covid-19 hardships in the Philippines (Washington Post) They were of different ages, genders, and walks of life. Some had been there since sunrise. A number carried umbrellas and canvas bags. Hundreds stood in a line that stretched three blocks on Wednesday, all waiting for their turn to stock up on donated food. The community pantry, as it is known, bore a sign: Give what you can, take what you need. A week after the initiative began as a humble cart with free vegetables and canned goods, over 300 similar donation-driven efforts have popped up across the Philippines. The grass-roots action underlines the economic pain Filipinos are experiencing as they battle one of Southeast Asia’s worst coronavirus outbreaks and a harsh lockdown. The idea began when a small-business owner teamed up with local vegetable vendors and farmers who offered their produce to those in need. Within days, it grew into a multi-sector effort encompassing a variety of food and essential items—bread, eggs, fruit, rice, water, noodles—donated by rich and poor alike.

Iran Rattled as Israel Repeatedly Strikes Key Targets (NYT) In less than nine months, an assassin on a motorbike fatally shot an Al Qaeda commander given refuge in Tehran, Iran’s chief nuclear scientist was machine-gunned on a country road, and two separate, mysterious explosions rocked a key Iranian nuclear facility in the desert, striking the heart of the country’s efforts to enrich uranium. The steady drumbeat of attacks, which intelligence officials said were carried out by Israel, highlighted the seeming ease with which Israeli intelligence was able to reach deep inside Iran’s borders and repeatedly strike its most heavily guarded targets, often with the help of turncoat Iranians. The attacks, the latest wave in more than two decades of sabotage and assassinations, have exposed embarrassing security lapses. Most alarming for Iran, Iranian officials and analysts said, was that the attacks revealed that Israel had an effective network of collaborators inside Iran and that Iran’s intelligence services had failed to find them. “That the Israelis are effectively able to hit Iran inside in such a brazen way is hugely embarrassing and demonstrates a weakness that I think plays poorly inside Iran,” said Sanam Vakil, deputy director of the Middle East and North Africa Program at Chatham House.

With most adults now vaccinated, Israelis are busting loose (Washington Post) Israel is partying like it’s 2019. With most adults now vaccinated against the coronavirus and restrictions falling away—including the lifting this week of outdoor mask requirements—Israelis are joyously resuming routines that were disrupted more than a year ago and providing a glimpse of what the future could hold for other countries. Restaurants are booming outside and in. Concerts, bars and hotels are open to those who can flash their vaccine certificates. Classrooms are back to pre-covid capacity. The rate of new infections has plummeted—from a peak of almost 10,000 a day to about 140—and the number of serious coronavirus cases in many hospitals is down to single digits. The emergency covid-19 ward at Sheba Medical Center near Tel Aviv resumed duty as a parking garage, and waiting rooms are suddenly flooded with non-covid patients coming for long-deferred treatments.

Rebels threaten to march on capital as Chad reels from president’s battlefield death (Reuters) Rebel forces set their sights on Chad’s capital N’Djamena on Wednesday following the battlefield death of President Idriss Deby, threatening to bring more disruption to a country vital to international efforts to combat Islamist militants in Africa. Schools and some businesses were open in N’Djamena on Wednesday but many people had opted to stay home and the streets were quiet, a Reuters witness said.

#headlines #news

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itsclydebitches · 5 years

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RWBY Recaps: “Pomp and Circumstance”

Welcome back, welcome back. I managed to miss last week’s title/summary leak, which for any other show would have been a blessing. With RWBY though I find myself not minding---even hoping for---spoilers, just so I won’t be quite so blindsided by things when I actually watch them. It’s a topsy-turvy world.

We’ll get to that in a bit though. For now, we open on the new Amity Arena immediately flying over the Schnee dust mine. I’m talking the group has barely made it back out into the sun before Ironwood’s men are arriving and setting up base. That’s some real eagerness to get the ball rolling. Funny how Ironwood’s entire plan is doomed to failure and eight of the people helping him to complete it haven’t mentioned that yet...

We get a shot of the Ace Ops triumphantly emerging with Qrow and RWBYJNR positively geeking out over how fantastic their take-down of the geist was. It was admittedly a great battle. The best scene I think we’ve had in a while. Sadly, that charm didn’t carry over into this episode.

As the gang gushes over how fantastic they were Clover explains that it all comes down to the makeup of their team. They were specifically chosen to compliment one another and make up for any liabilities they might bring. Forethought like this brings back the age-old question of whether Ozpin’s own teams are as random as they appear. Does he really leave it to chance, who you first run into and what relic you happen to pick? Or was he subtly pulling the strings in order to ensure that complimentary teammates ended up together? Even if they don’t realize they’re complimentary at first. Ruby and Weiss are a perfect example of that.

It’s a question we may never have answered. Especially as the Ozpin hate just keeps piling on and on. Before that though we’re given a ton of humor. Nora, continuing her role as comic relief, slides up to Elm and asks if she needs a new best friend. Their team name could be

I’d watch it.

More pressingly though, talk of team compositions and pairing up leads to a comment from Harriet that we need to unpack. Bear with me for a moment though because there’s something else I want to tackle first. It’ll connect back in a moment. Basically, I want to address my frustration last recap that Oscar was left behind with no explanation and the assertion by others that this was a ‘show don’t tell’ moment. It wasn’t. Providing your audience with no reasoning behind a decision is not the same thing as providing a visual explanation as opposed to a verbal one. On some level the choice to leave Oscar behind functions like an argument and I see this a lot in paper writing:

Student: This ad is really sexist

Me: And...? Why?

Student: I mean it’s obvious? All the women are wearing skimpy clothes and that one guy calls her a ‘bitch.’

Me: Perhaps obvious to you, but we can’t rely on the reader picking up on the same details and interpreting them in the same way. So you need to include that as evidence. In addition, you need to consider potential counter claims. What if I said some women choose to wear skimpy clothing because they feel empowered by it and that my friends often call me a ‘bitch’ as a silly endearment? How do we undermine those arguments in the context of your ad so you can more solidly prove that it’s still sexist?

Student: Hmm

vs.

Yang: We didn’t bring Oscar with us

Me: And...? Why?

Yang: I mean it’s obvious? He’s not ready for this fight yet.

Me: Perhaps obvious to you, but you can’t just bank on the viewer coming to that same conclusion. You also need to consider potential counter arguments. What if I pointed out that Oscar fought just as well as you during the premiere battle and that there’s now a history of you excluding him from every event you possibly can? How do you then undermine those points to prove that a) he really isn’t ready yet and b) that you actually left him behind because of his skill and not because you’re all still pissed at Ozpin?

Yang: Hmm

That was not a ‘show don’t tell’ moment. That was no tell combined with no show. A ‘show don’t tell’ would have been Yang going, “I don’t feel so bad now that we left Oscar behind” and then cutting to Oscar training with Ironwood, showing us that he needs to improve his skills as opposed to Yang just telling us, ‘He’s not ready yet.’ But we got neither.

I bring this up a full episode later because here, in “Pomp and Circumstance” we’re given another shining example of precisely how bad RT’s ‘show don’t tell’ skills are. The Ace Ops. What are we shown? A group that is incredibly close with one another. They’re capable of anticipating each other’s moves and are able to follow directions with little to no prompting. They’re constantly joking, teasing, goofing off in a way that implies real intimacy. Clover proclaims, “What would you do without me?” demonstrating a familiarity that allows him to exude both confidence and playfulness. They’re close enough that he needn’t maintain the persona of their boss; close enough that he can play the part of their hero without anyone taking offense. In short, they act precisely like Team RWBYJNR.

Now, what are we told by Harriet?

“We’re not friends... that’s the job. We don’t confuse the two.”

Excuse me?

There has been nothing---NOTHING---in the last two episodes to imply that this team functions solely as a work group. Based on what we’ve been shown the idea that they’re not friends is laughable. What the audience sees and what the audience is told by a character do not match up. Kind of like how we’re told throughout the entirety of Volume Six that the group is heroic when we’re shown them repeating the actions of the villains. Kind of like how Qrow tells us that Ruby is different from Ozpin even as we’re shown her making the exact same choices. Here, we’re told that the Ace Ops aren’t friends yet shown that they clearly are and this disconnect functions solely as a means of---again---highlighting how special RWBYJNR supposedly is. Because we get a long shot of how devastated that mindset makes them

and then Ruby immediately rejecting the idea that you need to maintain a purely professional relationship in order to be a good team, begging the girls to go out sightseeing with her. Later Weiss proclaims to her father that they’re not merely friends, they’re family. As nice as the sentiment is, this is just another example of how RT is trying to paint RWBYJNR, RWBY in particular, as intrinsically better than all the other fighters around them. The takeaway is that the Ace Ops might be powerful, but without friendship they’ll never be as strong as our heroes... except the Ace Ops are clearly friends. Harriet’s cold and judgmental tone---You consider yourself friends with them?---makes no sense here. This would be an entirely different situation if we were actually shown an Ace Ops team that acted indifferent towards one another and if, later on, that professionalism and lack of knowledge about each other’s temperament, skills, etc. led to a problem. Ruby comes in with a, “See? I never would have made that mistake with my team because I’ve gotten to know them both on and off the battlefield. Being friends is an asset.” But we don’t get that, so all we’re left with is a message of, ‘RWBYJNR is super special even though they’re doing nothing different from the Atlas specialists. But trust us, they’re intrinsically better.’

That message got old, oh, two volumes ago.

In addition, can we please talk about the messy pacing? The group doesn’t want to go sightseeing with Ruby because they’re exhausted. Weiss and Yang act like their traveling and near death experiences happened last night, and later Qrow’s “the finally getting to Atlas part” comment reads as recent too, but as I mentioned in the previous recap, Pietro’s comment tells us that at least a few days have passed. Realistically a few weeks. So which is it? Has enough time passed to justify Pietro creating seven distinct upgrades and apologizing for having their weapons “so long”? Or has so little time passed to justify the group talking about their trip like they still haven’t had the chance to sleep after Penny’s tour? Yes, this stuff actually matters when you’ve got a laundry list of internal conflicts and the audience wants to know how much time the group has had to grapple with them. Has it only been a few days since the Ozpin drama, or a few weeks? Did Yang and Blake murder a guy the other day or last month? We’re simply not told.

While consistency unravels Ironwood tells Clover that he needs the Ace Ops “on the ground” being “subtle” in their investigations... so maybe don’t bring Marrow. This moment, right down to the humor, is pretty identical to Blake deciding to leave Yang behind when she went to dismantle the CTV tower. Because “Stealth’s not really your... um...” Thing. If only the writing acknowledged these failings in a non-comedy context and encouraged the characters to learn from their mistakes. Marrow might have to listen to his boss and Yang will do anything Blake asks of her, but the rest of the time? ‘You’re really bad at missions that require subtly’ is just going to piss the group off. Even though it’s true.

As the Ace Ops take off Ironwood calls over the team leaders. Which is a bit of a weird choice considering he’s not asking Jaune and Ruby to keep secrets from their teams or anything. They’re literally just going to turn around and relay that info immediately to YWBNR. So why not just tell them all at once? Chalk it up to not wanting to animate nine characters. Basically though we learn at least part of Tyrian’s motivations here. He’s been killing off prominent figures who oppose Ironwood, including Forest, trying to make it look like Ironwood himself is killing to keep them quiet. And it’s working. More points to Ironwood for throwing out, “I’m not really concerned about my public image” when Qrow accuses him of only caring about publicity. If Ironwood is secretly a horrible dictator who really doesn’t care about his people... he’s doing a very good job of hiding it.

He’s also super chill about Jaune talking back to him about the embargo, a sharp contrast to Jacques’ “How dare you speak to me that way!” when Weiss takes a similar tone. Like the party way back in Volume Four, Ironwood is presented as the clear hero to Jacques’ villain. He lets subordinates point out difficulties and potential mistakes he’s makings. Instead of just, you know, abusing them.

So yeah, Jacques is a thing. He shows up pissed that Ironwood commandeered his abandoned mine, but also he’s happy because he thinks Ironwood has screwed himself now. Jacques is gunning for a seat on the council and he hopes the military taking possession of private property, not matter how grimm-infested, will help. He accuses Ironwood of roping Weiss into all this, Weiss reasserts that it was her own decision to help, and we get a lovely moment of the team supporting her.

I’d just like to point out though, this is all proof that Weiss would have been just fine if they’d sent her to Atlas. The fandom was up in arms over that suggestion, making wild claims about how Jacques would kidnap her or something, but this scene canonically undermines all of that. Turns out Jacques didn’t have spies everywhere, waiting to scoop Weiss up the moment she landed. However long the group has been hanging out in Atlas, he had no idea she was here until she was standing right in front of him (and even then it took him a long minute to realize...) Turns out Jacques can’t just do whatever he pleases with another human being just because he’s her father. In Ironwood’s presence, which Weiss would have ended up in if she’d flown with Cordovin’s blessing, Jacques can’t touch her. Hell, he can’t do anything even if Weiss was alone. If Weiss is willing to dump racists in the trash with her semblance I think she’s gained enough confidence to do the same to Jacques if he dares try to hit her again. The moment the fandom went, ‘They clearly HAVE to steal military property/disable a CTV tower and risk this tenuous peace because poor Weiss would be done for if they just sent her to Atlas with an armed guard and a transformed Qrow and possibly Maria in a suitcase’ I was just, ‘... What?’ That was never a good justification and this scene just reinforces that.

The one (metaphorical) blow that Jacques manages to land is by telling Weiss how distraught her mother was when she left. I wonder if there’s any truth in that or if it’s pure manipulation.

As he leaves Winter flies in, clearly avoiding her father. Weiss gets partway through calling her out on that before Penny lands in their midst.

From here the episode really unravels. With the surprise half ruined, Ironwood takes the group up into the arena and presents them with their huntsmen licenses. Now, full disclosure. I said I wanted this back in the premiere. In fact, my exact words were,

“I don’t think the show would ever go for my suggestion of another school arc so they could finish their training, but at the very least we should provide some sort of loop-hole for these characters. Have Ironwood provide special licenses based on their heroics at the Fall of Beacon and their work since. Because right now we have a world that’s continually emphasizing being a huntsmen as a job, something you earn the right to call yourself, yet 95% of our group doesn’t have that right in the eyes of their society.”

And I still stand by that. In as much as I’m acknowledging that so long as the writing refuses to treat the group like the students they are, taking away that status is the next best thing. However, that was written before the story decided to re-emphasize precisely how not huntsmen-like the group is. Everyone remember that? It was a week ago, wherein the group was characterized like kids playing dress up, following the adults around, acknowledging that it feels like they’re real huntresses even though they’re not, and then they witnessed a fight that put their skills and maturity to shame. A part of me honestly is glad we’re not dealing with this as a moral issue anymore. The other part of me is going, “Really? You set up how the group is still a bunch of students and then turn around and give them licenses an episode later? Can we at least be consistent?”

It’s fine though. It’s done. Yay. They all have licenses. Even though they technically didn’t do the work required to obtain them. And they’re also still at least a year, probably two years, too young to have them. Considering that schools are a four year program. It’s fine.

The group doesn’t even seem happy to have them though. In fact, they trivialize the moment. That word exactly: “It almost feels trivial now.” I don’t think RT intends for the characterization to come across this way but man does the group sound arrogant. Wow. We’ve been given a huge amount of power and privilege when we technically haven’t earned it, have actually done quite a lot lately that should have resulted in punishments over rewards, this is entirely out of the blue, something we’ve all wanted for most of our lives... so thanks, I guess? We’re feeling kind of iffy. Ruby at least makes some sort of comment about how Ironwood doesn’t need to do this, which just lets him re-assert that they all totally deserve it. Besides, he needs all the help he can get. Remember, we’re about to tell everyone about Salem!

Obviously no one pipes up during this speech. There aren’t even shared guilty looks. They’re just... letting their lie become a part of their ascent into full-fledged huntsmen. Oh boy.

Overall this party just feels depressing as hell to me. Yes, let’s celebrate in an empty, creepy arena that’s a traumatic space for literally everyone here. Made worse by the fact that no one acknowledges this. Once again Penny functions purely as comic relief. I thought that finally, finally we would get a conversation between her and Ruby. Hey, Penny! We’re taking selfies and eating cake in the very place where you were horrifically murdered! Maybe we should talk about that?

Nope.

Instead we get a train wreck of a conversation between Qrow and Ruby. She brings up the fact that they’re all keeping secrets... and Qrow laughs.

The hypocrisy is really astounding here. Ozpin keeps a secret and gets punched into a tree, along with Oscar. Ruby keeps a secret and Qrow looks like he wants to ruffle her hair. She asks him if she’s just like Ozpin and he responds with, “Oz only trusted himself with the whole truth. You’re trusting others, just making sure they prove themselves first. I think that’s a pretty big difference.”

Okay. That’s one hell of a messy statement, but let’s take it at face value for a moment. So tell me, Ruby. Precisely what does Ironwood have to do to “prove himself” to you? How long do you feel you need to wait? One more mission? A dozen? A few weeks? Months? ...Years? There’s no surefire way for someone to prove that they’re trustworthy and if, after that person has already shared their own secret plan with you and continually treats you as an equal---please help me in this fight, feel free to talk back to me, here’s licenses so you’re legally a part of this team---you’re still iffy about their motivations... what more can they do? You might just keep waiting and waiting for some sort of sign, putting things off because telling them is so risky and you just want to be sure. You might even reach a point where you’ve known Ironwood for ages and you still haven’t told him because, well, you haven’t gotten that proof you were looking for yet. Especially if you were, say, in a time of peace where telling him only feels like a cruelty. Especially when you’ve been betrayed so many times before and are always fighting against those memories. Your little, ‘I’m just waiting until I know I can trust him’ could theoretically go on for decades because we can never absolutely know a person. Lionheart is proof of that. Ironwood might one day look to you and say, “How can you not trust me yet?” and you might respond with, “What have you done to prove to me, without a doubt, that I should?”

I’m reusing this:

Ruby is in precisely the same position Ozpin was with his inner circle. Including Qrow. If Ruby is unsure that a military-minded, incredibly stressed man should have this information now, despite how trustworthy he might seem, why would Ozpin have been sure of that a year earlier? Ironwood was the same military-minded, stressed, seemingly trustful guy. If Ruby felt like she couldn’t rely on Qrow mere weeks (or even days) ago because he kept refusing to stay in contact (something that was established way back at Beacon. That’s not new) and falling into drunk, pessimistic stupors, why would Ozpin feel like he could rely on him in other ways? Especially when those “other ways,” telling them about Salem’s immortality, would lead to absolutely nothing good. Seriously. Has the group suddenly come up with a plan to defeat her, proving that Ozpin was wrong not to bring more creative minds into the fray? No. Has the group fallen apart for a long stretch and has only now made noises about moving forward for the sake of moving forward, something they’d already agreed to do as huntsmen fighting immortal grimm? Yes. All telling them about Salem did was make them more depressed and stressed, the two things that draw literal monsters to their door. That’s it. Their goals and motivations are precisely the same as when they started: keep fighting. Ironwood, on the other hand, has to know about Salem because his plan hinges on her mortality. Ozpin risked nothing by keeping this secret from the group. He arguably saved them a lot of grief. Ruby, on the other hand, risks countless lives and chaos across Remnant because she’s letting Ironwood inch closer and closer to telling the whole world, all in an effort to muster up an army that will accomplish nothing.

Ruby is Ozpin in this scenario, but her secrets carry more weight than his ever did. This isn’t a group of teens feeling morally outraged that their leader told a lie; how dare you not tell us everything when we’re risking our lives... even though we’re always risking our lives and would continue to risk our lives whether you told us or not! This is an incredibly powerful general about to change the shape of the entire world if he doesn’t learn the truth. The stakes are nowhere near comparable. Combine that with the fact that Ruby and her friends just finished taking the high road. That’s the kicker here. That Ruby doesn’t just admit, ‘Yeah... I’m like Oz. Because he was right. You do sometimes need to keep secrets and it is hard to trust people.’ No, no, no, they have to keep demonizing him. Ruby needs reassurance that she’s nothing like that evil secret keeper... even though we can all see she 100% is. She’s arguably worse now that she wants to play the victim to Ozpin’s secret keeping while simultaneously doing the exact same thing to Ironwood. She’s arguably worse since her secrets risks far more lives than Ozpin’s ever did. Where’s the fandom’s outrage over Ruby’s manipulation? Who’s punching her? When they bring up Summer, Ruby needs to characterize her death as “another Oz secret” wherein, like the fandom, she assumes he holds responsibility before there’s any proof of that. Even when Qrow admits that Ozpin has no more idea how Summer died than he and Tai do, he rescinds it! “But who knows what he may have hidden from us over the years.” Excuse me, but you all need to stop gearing up to assign blame without evidence, especially when you all are currently committing the exact same sins Ozpin did. We’ve been doing this since Volume 5:

Yang: I just learned that my uncle is the one who kept his semblance and bird transformations secret from me, but I’m going to blame Ozpin for it and demand “no more” lies. Even though up until now he’s never lied to us.

Qrow: I just admitted that your mother’s death is her own secret, but I’m going to subtly blame Ozpin for it anyway and remind you, as well as the audience, that he could be keeping an untold number of secrets from us. Truly a horrific thing when we, too, are keeping a bunch of secrets.

It’s also just a complete OOC moment that Qrow would be laughing about Ruby keeping secrets and hugging her as he tells her to press on while likewise maintaining his suspicion of Ozpin. Because Qrow’s whole beef with Ozpin is that he’s supposedly “wasted” his life while serving him. Everything he does is worthless because of Salem’s immortality. So if he’s now (randomly?) on team, ‘Do things because they’re right even if we can’t win in the end’... why is he still upset? If he can admit now that all this work---building new CTV towers and taking up everyday missions---is still super important, then why isn’t he thanking Ozpin? ‘Oh wow. I realize now how worthwhile this work is, regardless of whether Salem can be defeated. I guess I do owe you that gratitude for allowing me to do it all in the first place.’ Is no one ever going to acknowledge that Ozpin was right? About their work and about the need to keep secrets? You all are literally adopting his views, his mindset, and his choices. But nope. Nothing. It’s just an illogical mix of ‘Everything we believe is what Ozpin taught us’ with ‘But oh yeah screw that guy.’

The only reason Qrow is all buddy-buddy with Ruby’s secret keeping is because he’s in on the secret. Objectively speaking, if Qrow had a right to know about Salem’s immortality than so does Ironwood. They were both inner circle members. They both served Ozpin for (presumably) the same amount of time. With the exception of maybe hearing about the brother gods---and even then Qrow didn’t take that story literally---they seemed to have the same level of clearance. Ironwood has done just as much to “prove” his loyalty as Qrow ever did, but he doesn’t want to admit that telling someone this kind of horrific info is just plain hard. So Qrow, like the entirety of RWBYJNR, makes it about their own status as heroes, adopting a ‘we’re totally different’ mindset. I get to know about Salem’s immortality. Ironwood though? No, no, we’re justified in keeping it from him. People just aren’t allowed to keep things from us.

It started off with Yang’s ‘How dare you keep secrets only I’m allowed to do that’ nonsense and has now spread to the entire group. We had an entire volume of people verbally and physically assaulting Ozpin in the name of his lies. Now Ruby does the exact same thing and gets hugs and praise for it. I spoke too soon last episode. The hypocrisy is unreal.

I honestly didn’t think RWBY was still capable of frustrating me to this extent, but here we are.

Oh, and so long as we’re riding this frustration train... where is Oscar?

He was not acknowledged once in this episode, let alone invited to the party. You know, the one that he could have really easily been flown in for now that the danger is gone. The one that Winter, Penny, Marrow, Elm and Vine all make an appearance at, but not the guy they’ve been traveling with and who is way more invested in his ‘friends’ getting their licenses than some random Ace Ops members. From here on out I’m officially calling BS on anyone who tries to justify the group/the writing excluding Oscar. There was no reason not to invite him to a planned celebration specifically designed to give this team, a team he’s a part of, a bit of downtime. Sorry you didn’t get an armor upgrade, or get to go on the mission, or get to attend the after party. Everyone just kind of forgot you exist or couldn’t be bothered to explain why you’re missing. RWBY really just doesn’t like him or Ozpin and boy, does it show.

The remaining plot is minimal. The group pulls up a mission board and Jaune gets roped into escorting school children, a mission with absolutely “no danger” in it. So if we actually get to see him completing this, you know they’ll be danger. As they continue choosing their first jobs as huntsmen we return to Jacques, brooding in his office. Whitley makes a brief appearance to announce that Watts has barged his way into the manor. We learn that everyone apparently thinks Watts is dead---that helps explain why they’re still using his code. A dead guy isn’t much of a threat---and Watts tells Jacques that he can help him regain his lost wealth, get a seat on the council, and screw over Ironwood. Through the pretty silly line of “Have your cake and eat it too.” I like that expression, but it’s hard to make it sound sufficiently threatening...

And that’s where we end! A rough ride this week, folks. Can’t complain about the break...

Until next time.

Minor Things of Note

Watts’ comment about how Whitley is the spitting image of Jacques makes me think of cloning. Like, I don’t think the writing would actually go there, but it’s a potentially cool option. Evil billionaire with access to fantasy technology has two rebellious daughters before finally just cloning himself a ‘son’...

Where is Maria? What is she doing? Can we please stop abandoning important characters and then having the cast acting like they ceased to exist?

#rwby #rwby volume 7 #rwby volume 7 spoilers #mymetas #rwby recaps

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baretklap · 4 years

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Tales of Mind Control #4: A Debt Unpaid

♫It was years ago, and it was beautiful. Now I have come to think about it. 'You're mine' you said, and I said it back. In that hotel of many colourful dreams.♫

The music playing from the radio was more than enough to fill Eva with the dreadfully addicting sense of nostalgia and melancholy as she took another sip from her favourite wine glass, savouring the taste of the red liquid she had come to form a love-hate relationship with. A sigh escaped her lips, everything seemed so complicated, especially now. The wind hitting her balcony was pleasant enough, just like the wine she was consuming. Pleasantness. It was something Eva desperately needed as every gulp reminded her of a life that seemed so far away now, the life she had to give up years ago. It totally didn’t help her stress levels that the girl she raised and treated like her own daughter was turning twenty years old. She told Eva that she was going to be celebrating it with her friends from her college, so the older woman did not expect the younger to come home early. She definitely grew up so fast, even faster than Eva anticipated she would.

Even after all those years, the woman who is in her forties now remembered that day like it was just yesterday. The phone call, the horrible news, her cries, her agony. Her best friend had died that accursed day and left her 5 year old daughter behind. Eva, who had been in her twenties back then agreed to take the little Elizabeth in and raise her herself without hesitation since she had pretty much nowhere else to go. Her best friend had no living relatives and the girl’s father had left her life even before she was born. Eva agreed to take her in and thus, she had to pay a price. Giving up her passion, her art career so she could continue the family business in order to gain a stable income which would allow her to raise Liz without any financial problems.

The financial problems may had been taken care of, but it still stung deep that Eva wasn’t be able to become that artist she always aspired to be. It wasn't like she hadn't tried again, though. After she had secured an early retirement, she tried to get back to it but the same spark…just wasn’t there, prompting her to give up on that dream completely. Wasting time with ‘if only’s would be easy but it was even easier to just drink it all away. Another sip followed as the bitter wine raced down to her throat. But as much bitterness Eva had bottled up inside her over the years, she would not change her life for anything else in the world.

She would not change Liz for anything else in the world, for a better wording.

Her thoughts were finally interrupted by the sound of her doorbell. It was very confusing to Eva as she did not expect Liz to come home at all, let alone this early. Still, she got up from her seat, leaving the wine bottle and glass on the table as she left her balcony to greet Liz, or an unexpected guest Eva could not guess the identity of.

In the end, she opened her door to find a very gorgeous, black haired woman who seemed to have…heterochromia. But her eye colour(s) wasn’t the strangest thing about the whole ordeal. No, Eva did not know this woman at all. The questions continued to race in Eva’s brain even faster as the two just stared at each other. Eva with a look of blatant confusion and her visitor with a smile.

“It has been a very long time, Eva.”

The woman said as she took her first step into Eva’s house. Eva also took a step to stand in front of her, in order to intercept the mysterious woman.

“Uhm…have we met before? I don’t think I recognize you so I’m truly sorry if we’ve met before.”

The smirk in the woman’s face remained unchanged, as if she was expecting Eva to not recognize her at all.

“Oh, it’s totally alright. My name is Katie, but I think you’ll remember when I tell you…no…show you how we met.”

Show her? Well, this was definitely getting weirder and Eva definitely wasn’t pleased with her wine session being interrupted with weirdness like this. She didn’t even remember having anyone named Katie in her life too. As she was about to show the woman named Katie the door, her guest spoke once again, pointing to a nearby drawer cabinet.

“But I think you should check the first drawer, sweetheart.”

The way Katie sounded when saying ‘sweetheart’ was very different from how she sounded when uttering every other word since her unexpected arrival. It was…different…but strangely, Eva felt compelled to just go and check that drawer without telling the woman to go away from her house or anything like that. She turned back and took a few steps before bending over to reach the drawer. Eva grabbed the metallic handle and pulled it, revealing a framed picture of her…and Katie. She took the frame and close the drawer, showing it to Katie.

“Yes, that’s me.”

The guest said with a smug smile as Eva stared at the picture, inspecting it to remember the context of it. She definitely seemed young, back when she was in her twenties. But Katie, she did not seem to have aged at all. Her day was getting just weirder and weirder.

“What the hell is happening here? This picture looks like it had been taken at least 15 years ago. I look much younger here…but you look the same.”

Katie chuckled, very much enjoying having the upper hand in the situation as she seemed to bask in Eva’s confusion.

“Well, thank you, I have a very good skin-care routine.”

The smile quickly vanished though as Katie’s face took a much more serious impression instantly. Her hand swiftly moved to reach Eva’s face before one finger tapped her forehead. That was the last thing Eva saw before she felt herself being sucked by the void until she found herself in a much different place, and from what it looked like, a much different time too.

Out of all the paintings in the gallery, one particularly drew Eva’s attention more than anything else. At surface level, it was just a painting depicting the horrors that happened to women who just dared to be expressive in many European countries back in very old days. But looking at the painting more and more proved that it was more than a painting about witch trials, it was a very beautiful and powerful painting about the hardships those women faced. The colours were a mix of more colder ones like blue and purple with the hot colours of flames that turned those poor women into nothing but ash and dust.

“I’m delighted my piece is able to gather some attention, at least.”

Eva is startled by a feminine voice appearing just behind her, but she is polite enough to turn back and offer her both a smile and her hand. The woman who just implied that she is the artist behind the painting Eva very much liked took her hand and shook it gently, also offering Eva her own smile.

“I’m Eva. Love your painting.”

The artist’s smile turned into a polite chuckle.

“I offer you my gratitude Eva, you’re very kind. My name is Katie, it’s very pleasant to meet someone who’s a fan.”

The longer Eva got to look at Katie, the more she realized how otherworldly beautiful she was. And the moment she realized she had been thinking about her divine beauty more than she should’ve been, a bright shade of red covers her cheeks, which Katie finds even more amusing, which makes Eva even more frustrated about the whole thing.

“So, would you care to tell me what caught your attention?”

Well, Eva could start with those eyes that two separate but beautiful colours or her gorgeous looking pale sk-

“About the painting, I mean.”

Katie clarified with a giggle and it does not Eva’s nervousness at all. Of course the artist sensed her thirst, was it possible for anyone to not thirst for someone like her? But in the end, Eva managed to put her mind together and started to give her honest answer to Katie’s question.

“It’s…very powerful and I think you captured the horror feel scarily well and realistic. Forgive the pun, but I find your painting very….bewitching.”

Katie already looked very happy to hear all those compliments, but especially after the very last word of Eva’s quick review, that happiness is joined with a substantial amount of amusement as well.

“Bewitching you say…quite probably the most accurate word to describe my art. After all, what kind of a witch I would be if I didn’t do bewitching work?”

Her tone is hard to read so Eva isn’t sure if she’s just joking or being serious, but regardless, she is pretty certain Katie just called herself a witch. At the best case scenario, the talented artist was joking and at the worst…well, the world of art always included very eccentric personalities, right? Eva gave her an awkward smile as Katie’s expression did not change a bit.

Still, the idea of a possible madness coming from Katie did not hold an important amount of thought inside Eva’s mind much longer as her focus was once again on how…perfect Katie was. As she breathed next to her, told her all about the inspirations she have to do such amazing art as that with her soft but powerful voice of hers that further spiralled Eva down into her own attraction for the woman who seemed to be in her thirties. Her thoughts were once again interrupted by Eva directly addressing her once again.

“Say, Eva, would you mind taking me to your house tonight?”

Eva seemed to be too far gone to realize something may be a little wrong with the procedure, and the answer coming from her was instant and full of desperation, which did not seem to surprise Katie at all, who only smiled even deeply like a cheshire cat at hearing the one word she was certain that would escape Eva’s lips.

“Sure!”

As the word Eva used to let Katie inside her house many years ago echoed in her head, she found herself slowly pulled back into the present, where she is much older again…and Katie still looked like she hasn’t aged a day at all. Plus, the thing she just had done to make her relive a past day…that could have none other explanation that her unwanted guest was right about her identity all along. It was really a mind-blowing thing to find out at all, let alone finding out this way, but Eva didn’t feel like freaking out, at all. She was sure she would do plenty of that once whatever Katie had come to do had ended.

“So, you’re really a witch.”

Eva was able to muster out a whole sentence, even surprising herself with how articulate she was after finding out…that very extraordinary news. Katie, once again, just gave the owner of the house a smug smirk.

“Took you very long enough to realize, Eva, like, years long.”

“It…it’s not like I remembered what happened at the gallery. I didn’t even know there was an equation to put two and two together, let alone actually doing that.”

That drew another chuckle from Katie, who had been nothing but amused and smug since her arrival. Honestly, it also unintentionally amused Eva as much as it annoyed her, being nothing but a toy, a platform to be made fun of by this…witch…as she held answers to the questions Eva did not even think of.

“It’s okay, Eva, I’m only messing with you.”

“I figured out that much. I just don’t know how much and deep you did and still do so. I still don’t remember what happened that night, right after you invited yourself to my home and I was too… bewitched to refuse you. I’m assuming you used your witchcraft to erase my memory about that.”

“Your assumption would be very correct. Would you like me to remind you?”

Well, it certainly would not hurt to remember another memory she was forced to forget.

“Please.”

“With pleasure.”

Katie winked, putting an emphasis to the word 'pleasure'. Then her expression changed to a very serious one scarily quick before she did her thing one more time, Eva once again losing herself before finding it once again in a different time and place…and with a much different feeling.

Pleasure. Mind-boggling pleasure. That feeling is all Eva can feel, all she can think and grasp at the moment. As Katie’s magical fingers explore their way into the younger woman’s vagina, her magical tongue even gives Eva more pleasure. If she could form coherent sentences instead of loud and violent moans during Katie’s working of her ‘magic’, she would hands down declare this the best sex she had ever had. Hell, Eva wasn’t even able to form any thought not related to the sexual intercourse she found herself in right now. She was a very, very lucky woman. A woman who found the treasure of pleasure and was about to open it fully as she neared quite probably the most powerful orgasm of her life…

…only to see that box of treasure moving further away for him as Eva tried to handle it. Katie had stopped her disgustingly beautiful services and was instead looking at Eva with a grin on her face.

“W-what?”

Eva cried with frustration as Katie’s grin only seemed to grow deeper.

“There’s nothing complicated here, Eva. I stopped before you could cum.”

“Why?”

The second frustrated question that followed the first one was very swift, as swift as Eva’s right arm as it made its way to her pussy to finish the job Katie started before her wrist got caught by Katie’s right hand, preventing it from reaching the desired destination. Gods, Katie’s touch even on her wrist was intoxicating.

“Nuh-uh, Eva. I don’t want you to touch yourself.”

“But I need to cum!”

“I know.”

“Then let me!”

At this point, Eva didn’t behave any better than a spoiled brat who was refused a thing she wanted, but the younger woman was indeed very lost in her arousal that she didn’t care at all. Katie playfully shook her head, indicating that she’s fully behind her decision to not to let Eva cum.

“And why exactly would I do that?”

Katie asked, with a tone that managed to be even more seductive than it had been from the point they met in the gallery.

“Because I’m desperate! I want to cum, I need to explode!”

“I can totally see that Eva, you clearly don’t need to tell me that.”

After that, Katie decided to just run one finger on Eva’s thighs, not touching her most private part in order to further tease her prey like the predator she was.

“Please? What do you want me to do? I’ll do it! I swear...”

Katie’s heterochromiac eyes sparkled at hearing that, like she was waiting to hear that specific set of words from the woman who was going truly mad from being cruelly edged like that.

“I told you I’m a witch, Eva. The ancient laws of magic state that what I shall give, I shall take at least a close or an equal amount. So, in order to give you that orgasm you want so bad, I have to take what you consider most precious in life.”

Even with a single crumb of rational thought, Eva would’ve easily refused that. Too bad Katie was just too good, licking and fingering that last crumb away from Eva's poor little brain. Eva used all her energy to shake her head and non-verbally telling, no, shouting her approval, which only formed yet another of those smiles on Katie’s beautiful face.

“Very well.”

Katie’s fingers found Eva’s aching pussy once again, and with just one move, Eva felt herself explode as she heard herself screaming louder than she ever did…seconds before her world slowly paved its way to total darkness, her consciousness truly proving to be not a strong foe against such a mighty orgasm.

The darkness finds the light again as Eva finds herself in the present once again. The effects that seeing that memory again had on Eva was clearly visible as her nipples were poking through her top. That was…an experience, the mildest way Eva could put it in words. Then, more thoughts started to form inside Eva’s mind once again about that day. Now that she had significantly more recollection of that faithful day, more details started to come to her mind and Eva remembered. She remembered more, more details, much more uglier details. Because she remembered that the day after she went to that art gallery, her best friend and the real mother of Liz died in a car accident. The grief she felt years ago, the grief Eva thought she was over with, suddenly re-emerged. Much stronger this time, with the new information that have just seen the surface. The best friend was the price…for just an orgasm. Eva lost her best friend…because she just wanted a stupid orgasm. But was she even herself that night? Her partner was a literal witch that could do numerous amount of spells that could’ve made want this. The pale Eva looked even paler and her head started to ache. She felt her heart racing and she was pretty certain she was going to just drop and pass out. But she didn’t. Instead, she let out an angry hiss to the witch Eva knew could do several things to shut her up and put her in an even worse position. But she didn’t care at all.

“You manipulated me with your magic. You made me do things that I wouldn’t normally do. You bewitched me so deep that you made me accept your offer.”

Eva took one step towards Katie before taking another. Her voice was getting even more angrier, she feared nothing, she already lost the thing she held most precious according to her, so what worse could happen?

“You stole my best friend from me! You stole my life from me! My dreams from me, you bi-”

“No.”

The answer was clear, and it was said with enough power that Eva instantly shut up. Katie genuinely looked…sad from the moment Eva started her rant.

“I have no hand in your best friend’s death, Eva. Magic…doesn’t work that way. The ancient laws prohibit the magic users to get that price as another person’s death.”

A single tear fell from Eva’s eye and she spoke again, in a very defeated tone that contrasted heavily to her previous angry tone.

“Then why? Why are you here?”

Katie took a deep breath as she locked her eyes on Eva’s.

“Years ago, you took a debt from me in exchange of your orgasm, Eva. I’m here to recollect my debt.”

To say that Eva didn’t understand….wouldn’t be an understatement. She had already lost the thing she thought that was most precious to her years ago. So what could Katie want from her? Her best friend was gone, her desired career was gone, the only thing she had now was….oh no. Oh fucking no. It couldn’t be who Eva thought it could be, could it?

Liz.

Eva started to sweat again as she could make no more logical explanation than the girl she raised after her mother’s death.

“No, no, please, don’t take her.”

Katie only responded with a smile, it seemed Katie knew who Eva thought she meant and the witch made no effort in correcting her this time, certainly not helping Eva’s worries.

“Why, why did you came all those years ago to recollect your ‘debt’? Why didn’t you do it sooner?”

Katie’s expression remained unchanged as she spoke.

“Young Elizabeth turns 20 today, doesn’t she? She’s not a teenager anymore, she’s fully a woman now. And I like women, Eva. Don’t you remember? You were also in your twenties when we met at the art gallery.”

Katie took a step towards the now physically older woman, prompting Eva to took one back in order to keep the distance between them, and maybe even increase it. This did not seem to bother Katie at all, not one bit. The little chase even continued until Eva eventually hit a wall and was unable to go take another step backwards. It didn’t took a genius to know that she was trapped. The option of flight was gone for Eva, and she was certain freezing would not help anything, so she resolved the final F option that she knew: Fight.

“I’m not going to let you take her.”

Eva said, confident as she felt herself to be: Not much. But she had not many other choices, did she? Katie playfully shook her head sideways, now so close to her that Eva could hear her breathing.

“Oh, I didn’t came here to ask for your permission anyway. If you have any intentions of making things harder for me, then I have no choice to remind you just who woman was that made you beg all those years ago.”

Their faces were a mere inch away from each other as Katie did nothing but to uncomfortably stare at Eva. The owner of the home was of course pretty disturbed and scared by all of this…until she started becoming not to. Because her focus gradually shifted to Katie’s breathing, and specifically, her breath. It smelled wonderful. Eva just remained at her position and let the extremely pleasant smell of Katie’s breath fill her sense of smell with pure goodness.

“Just keep breathing Eva, like a good little girl, keep letting my scent go inside you.”

Her voice…it sounded different again. So dominant, so commanding. Eva knew Katie was once again trying to do her witchcraft and bend her will totally to her whims again, but she didn’t know how to stop her. She was helpless. She hated that. She loved that. She obeyed that. Eva breathed and each breath she took made her resistance even weaker.

“You can’t resist, Eva. You know that.”

She indeed knew that, and how could she continue to resist anymore when Katie commanded it like that?

“You’re weak. You’re helpless.”

“Weak….helpless.”

“You will obey.”

“Obey.”

Eva was giving in slightly more with each second, getting even closer to total submission to Katie. She had no other choice, no way of fighting back. She wasn’t a witch, she was just a weak little woman.

“You will submit.”

“Submit.”

“You will surrender.”

“Surrender.”

“You will serve.”

“Serve.”

“You belong to me, and I own you.”

“Yes, I belong to you, and you own me.”

Katie looked pretty confident after getting Eva to repeat all of those mantras without a single moment of hesitation. She was ready to be dealt with the final blow.

“You will help me enslave Elizabeth.”

“I will help you enslave El….Eliz…”

It seemed Katie could not drill that deep into her mental defenses enough to make her willingly give up the most precious thing she had in her life. Years ago, the concept of ‘most precious thing’ was very vague to Eva so it was easier to make her accept to give that up. But now, she had a clear person in mind that she would never ever betray. Katie sighed as she felt Eva slipping away from her control just out of love and loyalty to her Liz. She had no other choice but to use another method. Her eyes suddenly started to glow with a very entrancing, lovely shade of violet that was reflected in Eva’s own eyes as the light made the last bastion of resistance in her brain go away almost instantly.

“You will help me enslave Elizabeth.”

This time, there was no resistance. Her will had been completely capitulated, all her thoughts had been compromised and her mind was left nothing more than a blank sheet of paper waiting to be filled with commands. Eva heard and Eva obeyed. It was as simple as that.

“I will help you enslave Elizabeth.”

“Elizabeth will be my slave, just like you.”

“Elizabeth will be your slave, just like me.”

“While you’re at it, call me Mistress too.”

“Of course, Mistress.”

“Good.”

Katie smiled as her eyes found the upstairs.

“Now, slave, why don’t you take me to your bedroom again like you did all those years ago? I think we have a lot of catching up to do.”

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parachutingkitten · 4 years

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Imma Rant About How Pixal Deserves Better (cuz what else is new)

I love Pixal. That’s no secret. But the writers need to make up their minds about if they want her to be a member of the core cast or not, cuz it’s driving me nuts. Now, this is not a ‘pixal needs to be a ninja!’ post, cuz no, she doesn’t. Her being samurai x is an awesome and coherent move story wise. Moving from samurai x to the water ninja was a natural transition for Nya (even if I personally didn’t like the execution that much, but whatever- that’s a rant for another time), but if they tried to do it for Pixal, it wouldn’t make any sense. This doesn’t mean I’m against Pixal having the potential for ice powers- I wrote a fic about her reaching her true potential for goodness sake- but that also isn’t what this is about. This is just a post about her being a member of the team, because the writers have been playing her with only one foot in the door for four seasons now, and it’s NOT working.

Remember in season 1 and 2, when Nya was samurai x? Yeah, sometimes she would stay behind, but most of the time, she was going on the missions with them. She got to interact with all of the boys. When the ninja got captured, she got captured. When the Ninja went on a large scale mission, she went with them. Down. Out of the Bounty. She worked with the Ninja, beside them, not in a totally separate B plot with just Wu. Her role in the team was admittedly different, but it was still equal. But now, samurai x, as Pixal, is the designated ‘stay behind’ character. And it’s played like this big sacrificial move, and she does some cool things while the team is gone but the one big problem with it is THE TEAM ISN’T THERE TO SEE IT! So it doesn’t expand her standing within the team. It doesn’t give the satisfaction of a big heroic moment, because it’s a B plot! The one purely Pixal centered episode EVER was the one in season 11 where she fights the preeminent. Guess what? The only team member there is Wu, it’s a b-plot filler episode, and it’s never brought up again.

And yeah, that’s the only Pixal focus episode in the whole series. She’s a side character in season 3, she’s non existent in seasons 4-7, season 8, her reveal episode is cluttered with baby Wu/Harumi drama, and she’s not even physically and mentally there until the last few seconds of the episode (that rewrite is on it’s way, promise), season 9 she’s drowned out by the EMs, season 10 she has half an episode to shine where, once again, she ‘stays behind’ in a b plot with 0 character growth, which leaves the one episode in season 11 where she is the true 100% focus, and even then... it’s ‘stay behind’ b plot filler. Pixal hasn’t even been given a decent character arc... ever! She has like 2 (and a half) arcs total in the whole series. Season 3′s ‘getting a heart and falling in love’ arc, Season 8′s ‘I am samurai x arc’ which they don’t even explore that well, and then arguably, if you really squint, season 4′s ‘becoming part of Zane’ arc, but even then, that’s pretty much discovered and wrapped up in one episode. Complain all you want about Cole not having his own full season, but at least he’s got himself several well written, entertaining, A-plot, multi season arcs. The ‘Holy crap I’m a ghost’ arc, the ‘frustration with my best friend’ arc, and the ‘I am a father now’ arc. Say what you want, but he’s a main character of the show, and one of the go-to characters the writers love to throw stuff at, with distinct relationships with his cast-mates.

Pixal’s interactions with the team all feel so forced. Like the writers want to include her, but don’t know how to. Mainly cuz they don’t know how to write her when she’s not around Zane. Her scenes with Zane are drop dead adorable! And... I suppose her alone time with Wu was...okay. But it’s like when she’s not alone with Zane the writers forget who she even is. That season 11 episode? They play her weirdly innocently. I’m sorry, that’s not Pixal at all. It’s been established since season 3 that she’s our grounded, painfully realistic, sass robot. Where is this “does that mean you’re not mad at me?” stuff coming from? Thing is, later in the episode, she’s acting like herself. So... idk what happened in the middle there. But because they don’t know how to write her in the context of the team, most of the time she’s reduced to standing around in the background. Even in fight scenes. Why? WHY?! You obviously want to include her? How do you do that? Maybe, I don’t know, HAVE HER INTERACT?!

Seriously, this isn’t that hard to fix. You split up the team all the time. Just have her go on a mission with Jay. Or Cole. Or Nya. Or anyone other than Zane. Play it for laughs. Play it seriously. Play it for those sweet sweet wholesome vibes. Idk. Just have her do something! These characters have stuff to bond over! Jay has a fascination with Borg industries in general, that would be fun to play off of. Cole and Pixal both have a pretty DEEP untouched emotional baggage. Lloyd and Pixal both have this sort of “not part of the pilot cast, joined later and never really integrated 100%” vibe going for them. Kai and Pixal have beef! This could be one of the great Ninjago rivalries! Nya and Pixal can bond over samurai x, that’s a total gimme one! These characters have relationships ripe for building, but they just DON’T TALK TO EACH OTHER!

Every main character. EVERY MAIN CHARACTER has at least one episode (but likely many more) dedicated to them, where they do something real cool, single handedly save the day or something, and the whole team comes and hugs them and says “wow, great job!” “You’re an important and valued member of our team!” “This is why you’re great!” and... I just want one of those for Pixal. Please. Pretty please. Just so she can have some validation. Just so that the main cast can acknowledge her existence. And as trivial as this one episode may seem, I think it’s really important. She needs her big ‘save the team’ episode. She never had a sort of “true potential” moment when she really proved herself, and I think that’s really what she needs. Think about how good the Royal Blacksmiths episode was for Cole. He spills about some of his baggage, each of the team members is forced to interact with it, and try to understand it, and in the end they all work together to help him get past this rough patch in his life, and he ends up looking like a boss and saving the day in the process (also note, probably the best group hug ever in Ninjago history). Now, you could argue that since she doesn’t have a element, her being samurai x could work to give her that episode. Great. Cool. That makes sense. But Pixal doesn’t have a “true potential” episode- she has a “reveal” episode, where the ninja have to fight her cuz she’s evil and she doesn’t end up saving the day, Nya does. You see why even though it’s technically “focused” on Pixal, it isn’t meaningful at all to her character?

Thing is, I wouldn’t even be that mad... if she were a Skylor type character. I like Skylor as much as the next chick, and say what you want about her screen time, but at least she has a defined role within this universe! If Pixal was Zane’s cool robot gf/ samurai x - secondary protector of the city - that popped up for a cameo once in a while and played a larger role in seasons that merited her, I would be fine with it! Borg isn’t a big character, but he gets appropriate screen time, some seasons more than others, and he still feels like a cared about piece of the canon! This would work pretty well for Pixal too! Would I like this better than her being an active part of the main team? Hell no! I think her being on the team is the right way to lean, but as of right now, she’s just doing nothing of substance. I’d rather the screen time she has be meaningful than have her as a token nothing in the background of every episode.

That’s my main point here. Either start respecting her as a character, or stop pretending she’s on equal footing with the team. We already know season 12 isn’t gonna improve on that. The ninja go into the video game world and Pixal stays behind. Granted, Zane doesn’t go either, so maybe we’ll get some good content. But again, it’s the B plot, and with Zane. Nothing we haven’t seen before. (I could keep going about how the show has been pushing Zane out of the picture even back in season 3, but again, a rant for another time)

Anyway, this rant pretty much sums up why most of my fanfic is Pixal-centric. It’s a character the writers just REFUSE to write for but has a decent amount of screen time, so there’s a lot of possibilities. Might do another rant about the whole ice powers thing. Idk. Just needed to get this out. thanks for reading :)

#ninjago #Pixal Borg #parachuterants #pixal deserves better

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