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placeinthemiddleofnowhere · 1 year

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How 'bout I stay here and you fight?

Pairing: König x Reader

Summary: You’re determined to find out why everyone thinks König is so scary, afterall he’s just some guy that’s taller than most people right? He’s probably harmless! Well, he’s a little scary, but you still like him anyway.

(No use of y/n or mention of gender/race)

AN: Let me start off by saying I'm sooo sorry for the time it took me to update this, I know that it's been quite a gap since the last upload. Hopefully the wait was worth it though, because I have written about 30 pages for you here, so there's lots to sink your teeth into! As always, thanks for all your support and interaction and all the questions you have about the series, having everyone's lovely messages and art means a lot 💕 knowing I have this community to come back to while I stress out about life stuff is amazing, so thanks for being there! Enjoy the next update ☺️

Part 8 of A Rocky Start - Full Masterlist Here

-☠️-

“Ghost before you-”

“Before I what, Sneak?” Ghost spat, shaking with the effort it took to contain himself. “Before I tell Price? Before I jump to conclusions? What? You gonna try and tell me those aren’t what I think they are? Are you going to keep lying to me? Well go on then, tell me what you think I want to hear, Sneak. It’s what you’ve been doing this whole time isn’t it! You selfish little lying fuck.”

“No! I never wanted to lie to you Ghost, I just-”

“You never wanted to lie to me? Yet, you let me believe that König had screwed you over that day in the gym. Mustn't have been some cheap lay by the looks of things, that must have been you that clawed up his back like that! And to think all this time, I thought better of you,” he snorted, pounding the wall next to you with his gloved palm. “You made us look like idiots running around after you, trying to make you feel better all this time! You’ve had us all concerned about you while you’ve been fucking that cunt behind our backs!”

You whimpered and shrunk into the cold plaster at your back, distantly feeling like you were lying on a slab at a morgue. Everything in you said that it wasn’t long until you were going to be meeting your end. Ghost was wide eyed and loud as a lion as he tore into you, now slapping both his hands on the wall and sandwiching you firmly between him and it. You gulped and clenched your fists, trying to swallow the burning feeling that crept up your throat like a trail of gasoline. Everything was falling apart and you couldn't even see the pieces through the wreckage to try and save them.

“I didn’t intend for that to happen…it just happened that way. You assumed that König had slept around - I didn’t say it - I just didn't correct you. I couldn’t correct you!”

“Do you think that helps? Do you think it’s better knowing that you took advantage of my trust - in all of the 141’s trust? Do you know how much it hurts to realise that someone that you thought you could count on could be capable of deceiving you for months? That someone that you treat like family apparently doesn’t give a shit and would throw you away for a bit of Austrian Muscle? He’s barely even a person under all that fight and armour, he’s a fucking monster, Sneak, and yet you’ve left us for him!”

You clenched your teeth and rubbed the tears from your cheeks, furiously shaking even though you tried to resist. Ghost knew he had you overwhelmed. He was taking full advantage of your upset, taking his revenge on you now and tearing you down. After all those months you spent running ahead of him, keeping on top of all your lies, you’d really thought that you might manage to get away with it all. Not anymore. Your feet were knocked from under you now.

“I- It- It wasn’t like that!” You protested, choking on your words.

“How wasn’t it?” Ghost roared.

“Because he’s not a monster! We care for each other, he- he cares for me, Ghost.”

“Oh, clearly! You’d have to, it has to be worth it, doesn’t it? You’ve made your choice haven’t you? You’ve gambled your place in the 141 all these months and now your chickens have come home to roost. You think you broke our trust by going against my order that day on the field? How do you think this elaborate fucking lie is going to look to Price? It’s going to ruin you, Sneak.You’re going to break up the team!”

“You mean- you, and Pr- Price is going to kick me out?”

“Who knows what the fuck he’ll do! All I know for fact is that this is going to shake the trust of everyone here. It sure as shit rocked my faith in you, who knows what the others will think when they hear about this. Doesn’t make sense to keep someone around that’s capable of going behind our backs like this.”

A boulder settled in your stomach then. Ghost’s voice had dropped severely low, his angry snarling dying down to a quiet threat. His eyes were narrowed and staring at you with a deadly precision, betraying the scene that surely played in his head - the one where he strangled you for making such an idiot out of him.

“Ghost, please,” you whimpered, closing your eyes. “I didn’t want things to be this way. I had every intention of staying away, but it’s just…Well…I couldn’t give up on König, I care about the team and I love you all like brothers, but that doesn’t mean I could just abandon König and all the feelings I had for him. I just… I just thought that I could have both.”

You felt like an idiot saying it out loud.

In that moment a haunting realisation overtook you, the minute you opened your eyes and saw Ghost’s almost hollow mask sockets staring back at you through the gloom, you knew something. You’d made your choice all those months ago. You’d chosen König. That’s how everyone would see it anyway, they’d never understand how much you wished you could be a part of both worlds.

You knew Ghost could see exactly what you were thinking. He snorted as all the features in your face drooped, backing away from you. You sniffed and pushed yourself off the wall, barely keeping yourself from stumbling as you chased after him.

“Ghost, wait!”

He chuckled, his throat emitting a dark and choppy sound, one you hadn’t heard before. You shivered and tried to catch up with him, boots slapping hard and fast against the floor as you attempted to match his furious pace.

“Ghost, please, you can’t tell Price yet!”

“And why’s that, Sneak? You want a little accomplice in this, hm? You want someone else to go against Price just to make you feel better? The 141 isn’t a fuckin’ joke, even if you want to treat it that way.”

“I’m not asking you to lie!” you cried out, finally skidding to a stop in front of Ghost. “I’m asking you to wait.”

“Why would I do that?” he scoffed.

“Because we have a job to do,” you said, steeling yourself as much as you could even while tears still ran hot as acid down your cheeks and over your jaw.

“Oh, so now you care about doing your job, huh?”

“I care about you all, I care about the team, I care about this job more than anyone could ever know. Even though I fucked up…even though what I’ve done says otherwise, I do care. That’s why I’m asking you just to hold onto this until the job’s finished. I know exactly how this will go down Ghost, I know everyone will say the same as you have. Do you think this is what the team needs right before going away?”

You sighed and rubbed a palm over your sweating forehead, running your fingers over the wet strands of your hair. You’d been caught dead centre in your web of lies, the least you could do is untangle it with a sense of grace. Let your ruin come at the end of your last mission, let Price handle it all with a clear head, it was the least you could do. You had to make him see that.

“You can’t afford to lose anyone before you go after, Rousseau,” you continued, “Not the night before we leave. Just let me help you with this and then I’ll go to Price myself after all this is through. Just let me try to make things right and then…and then if- if Price wants to kick me out he can. I accept that…just let me help.”

Ghost halted in his tracks and balled his fists, kinetic energy fizzling away as he seemed to consider swinging them. You winced already, scrunching your eyes as you prepared for him to send you flying, but the hit never came. He opted for rolling his shoulders back instead and he paused on your words. For a moment, you worried he might reconsider and give you that well deserved blow, you weren’t completely relaxing yet. Tension sizzled through you both like a bomb fuse.

Deep down though, you knew he wouldn’t follow through on any of the dark thoughts swirling in his mind. Simmering in the burn of his gaze was a man that was deeply hurt. Even though you were probably one of the lowest life forms in his eyes at that moment, you were still family and he would never punish you like that. Even if he would willingly watch you go into exile.

“You’re telling me you feel fit to operate right now?” he asked, his words coming out with careful measure.

“There’s no other choice. I have to be,” you said with a bitter laugh, feeling like if you continued anymore, you might go hysterical. “All I know is that if we bring this to Price now, it puts the whole mission at risk and becomes a distraction. I accept that I fucked up, and that you probably can barely stand the sight of me, I do. For the sake of a mission though…don’t you think that we should get through this and let the team deal with it after? The last thing anyone needs is this. Please Ghost, you know I’m right. Even if this is the mission I go down on, at least let me do it without putting the others at risk because of what I’ve done.”

Ghost grunted and looked away from you, letting his body sag as he weighed your words. You’d gotten through to him, you’d delayed the inevitable. You knew it. You just needed him to say it.

You wished that he’d just tell you he’d let it go completely. For a hopeful second you wondered if maybe some time would stop him wanting to let Price know at all. Though that was never going to happen - if not for the fact that he was hurt from being lied to, then it would be the complete destruction of his faith in you.

Why couldn’t you have just listened to Ghost from the start? Why had you hurt him like this?

It was all getting too much to carry. Your heart thumped slowly and filled with lead and oil, thickening the blood in your veins like tar. Your whole body felt wrong, your lungs were gasping just to get by. Your head was spinning as it tried to process all that had happened, rattling with the drum beat of your pulse. It took every ounce of energy you had left just to stay upright, feeling like you might start swaying as you lingered in Ghost's heavy shadow.

“Alright,” he said eventually, voice gruff and distant. “Fine.”

You swallowed thickly and risked eye contact with him. That only served to reignite his anger though, the shadows in the hallway seemingly shivering around him as he loomed over you again.

“I won’t tell Price yet, but I’m warning you - you wait a single moment to tell him when we get back from this, then I’ll find that dopey Austrian cunt, and I’ll string him up and make you watch as what little light he has in him leaves his miserable fucking corpse. Do I make myself clear?”

You froze before nodding stiffly, body jerking as he shoved past you.

“Clear,” you whispered, talking to no one as you were left alone in the empty grey corridor.

-☠️-

You confined yourself to the darkness that night. You were alone in your room, curling your hands around your knees in bed with the lights off, heavily breathing like some kind of demented horror movie creature. The Only thing that haunted you though was your mind.

There was no getting away from it, no sharing the load with anyone else, who was there to tell? It was just you and your horrible thoughts, locked up tight together with no respite from any voices of reason. It wasn’t like you could tell the others.

König had tried to message you, but you couldn’t face him. You just messaged something quick back, reading only a couple lines of what he’d sent you first. You couldn’t talk to him either. There was no way he could know about what Ghost knew or otherwise you’d be kicking off the fight of the century.

Even with the complete lack of light in that tiny space, you still continued to see the bright whites of Ghost’s mask in front of your face. His hard blue eyes were burning holes into you like the pits of hell. It had your heart racing. Your skin felt too hot, your lungs burned with effort, feeling like they would burst with your heart ramming into them. Nothing could calm you down.

Knock.

You froze in your place, back stiffening somehow even further against the corner you’d shoved yourself into. You weren’t expecting company. Part of your mind wondered if Ghost had given in and told Price. Though as you thought on it for a few more seconds you knew in your heart of hearts that the moment, if Price knew about your relationship he sure as fuck wouldn’t come quietly knocking on your door. The sound was too soft, like someone that was trying to be discreet.

Only one person that could be - surely.

You padded over to the door and took a breath, holding the cold handle in your palm for a moment and letting it recenter you. If it was who you suspected it was, you couldn’t let him know that you’d been found out. He couldn’t get mad at Ghost and give you away. He couldn’t have the stress of your relationship reveal running through his mind while you were in an active warzone. If something were to happen to König because of your stupidity, then Price finding out about you both would be the least of your worries.

Why had you chosen the path that had put everyone you love into such a horrible position? Why had you lied so much to them all?

You swallowed the lump in your throat and closed your eyes for a second, only just opening the door as a tall figure had begun to retreat in the darkness. You watched as the giant stopped in his tracks and then you smiled softly when he walked back to you. The red tears of his mask were the first things to reveal themselves as he stepped into the flickering light that buzzed by your door.

“Did I wake you?” König asked, honey thick voice coming in at a low whisper.

“No,” you sighed, gesturing for him to come in, “couldn’t sleep. How come you’re here? You haven’t messaged.”

“I couldn’t sleep either. I wanted to see you before we left - see you alone,” he answered, stepping into your doorway. “And i did message, you messaged me back - remember? You were a little blunt with me, so I got worried.”

Oh.

You shut the door behind him and watched as he walked confidently past you and over to the lamp by your bed. He’d only been in your room a couple of times, despite your insistence he shouldn't risk showing up. Though even those stolen moments were enough for him to remember the layout as if the room were his own.

He flicked the switch on your lamp that sat on your bedside table and looked back up at you then. He was bathed in warm yellow light like an angel that had been sent to soothe your troubled head. Even his eyes seemed to melt through the edge that had settled over you.

“You don’t look very good, darling,” he noted, frowning over at you. “What’s wrong? Have you been crying?”

He tilted his head at you and with that, seemed to remember he was still wearing his mask. His eyes had grown wide like pale blue whirlpools. With fumbling hands, König tugged the fabric over his head and got himself out of the draped material, his tired face was revealed. His hair blew around before it settled into a messy nest on top of his head and his dark eyes refocused on you once he’d been freed from the hood. They were baggy with exhaustion.

You knew that feeling well. Not that you could tell him the real reason why.

“Hm?” he hummed, walking towards you now. “What’s got you so upset?”

You shook your head and tried to smile at him, accepting the hug that he wrapped you into with a sigh of relief. You didn’t have a good answer for him. Instead you pressed your head into his chest and inhaled his scent, taking in hints of gunfire and metal that his mask had left behind and, of course, the faint notes of your berry tea - betraying his thievery.

“Have you been stealing my tea again, mister?” you asked, trying to distract him.

“Me? Stealing from you? Never,” he chuckled, the sound reverberating through his body and soaking through to yours.

“More like all the time!” you grinned, finally chancing a look up at him again.

“Well really, you only have yourself to blame,” he said, stroking his thumb across your chin. “You should never have got me hooked on it if you didn’t want me to indulge myself every once in a while.”

“Mmm…Is that so?”

“Yeah, that’s so.”’

You shook your head at him and tapped him on the arm, prompting him to release you. He let you go, but followed immediately behind you when you went to sit on the bed. He took little time in swiftly drawing you back into his hold once again, nestling you both into the wrinkled sheets on your sad little bed, adjusting himself into your extra cushions.

His presence might have been making you feel uneasy, the pressure to not tell him anything growing with each passing second. However it was undeniable that the weight around your body was helping you, scattering your worries the tighter he held you.

“Are you going to tell me?” König pressed.

“Tell you what?”

“You know what,” he said dryly.

You huffed out a sigh. He wasn’t going to let it go though, he repositioned you then and made you face him, keeping you pinned and lying on your side.

“I know that the reason you smell of berries is because you don’t lift your mask all the way when you drink my tea. Then it gets damp and rubs off onto your shirt,” you said softly, smiling to yourself as you thought of him guiltily sneaking cups of it.

He looked down at you pointedly and rolled his eyes. Ok, so he wasn’t going to let it go then. You stared back at him for a moment before you lay back against his chest and proceeded to close your eyes, reaching out into the beyond to try and think of something to say. Anything other than the truth behind your insomnia.

“I’m worried about this op,” you whispered quietly. “And what comes after.”

“What? Why?” he asked, wrapping his arm around you tighter. “Why on earth would you be worried?”

“There’s a lot riding on it. It’ll be dangerous too, more than any of the other missions we’ve been on,” you shrugged. “Then there’s the unknowns that’ll come after it as well.”

“You know what will come after it,” König said, a smile weaving itself into his voice. “We will go to Austria together and I will take you on many adventures and buy you lots of good food, real food.”

You laughed a little at what he said and relaxed against him. You could feel the steady rhythm of his heart thudding away behind your head, working away, strong as ever. Maybe the world wasn’t going to completely end, you thought distantly to yourself, maybe even if you didn’t have the 141 you could still make the best of things. Hell, maybe you could move to Austria.

In choosing König, you weren’t going to be alone after you were kicked out. You would still have him. It didn’t lift the burden that was sinking your heart any, but it sought to bring some light back into your mind. The thought of mountain trails and mornings waking up to his gentle kisses and calloused hands trailing their way down your back weren’t so bad, maybe there was something even a little enticing about those thoughts...

Your life would be in tatters, sure, but it would still be worth living. There would still be some happiness, even if you were down the love of four family members… Even if you never got to speak to them again.

“I am looking forward to our trip, that’s for sure,” you replied measuredly. “I just…I mean- I guess I don’t know what things will be like after all this is over. We’ve been working together through this mission through our whole relationship and now that it’s coming to an end… I dunno - I guess I’m just intimidated by all the unknowns.”

You felt ok saying that. It wasn’t completely false. In reality you were far more worried about the situations you knew you’d face rather than the ones that were unknown, but ultimately Price being told about your relationship was still a mystery in terms of punishment.

You had no idea what he might decide to do with you once he’d found out about your betrayal. For all you were aware he could’ve been planning to send you off to one of the worst deployments that you’d ever known in your life. What then?

“You always worry so much” König sighed, tracing his hand up your body so that he could stroke the side of your face. “Know that whatever we both do next…no matter what…you will have all of my heart, and I will do anything to make sure that you get to hold it in your arms whenever possible…because I love you.”

You froze in place, eyes going wide as you processed what he said. He had spoken the unspoken, he had finally put into words the feelings that you knew were there, but both of you had been too guarded to let slip. He was telling you that he loved you, giving you a gift while you lied straight to his face.

“I love you and I will do anything to make this work. I’d dig a hole through to the otherside of the world just to be with you, there’s nowhere you can be sent to that I won’t find a way to reach you,” he whispered, pressing a kiss into your cheek.

You let a little breath of silence hang in the air for a moment and bit your lip, feeling a tear track its way down your face while you battled with your throat to stay silent. You couldn’t let him know what you were actually upset about.

You loved him too after all.

And for that reason you couldn't reveal the truth that Ghost had uncovered, it would send him spiralling. Would compromise him and mission. You could put him in danger, more so than you had already by involving Ghost - and soon Price’s - wrath.

“I love you too, König…” you murmured. “I love you so much.”

He let out a breath at your admission, you felt it whistling past your neck. You shivered, and tried not to think too hard on what would happen when he found out you’d withheld the truth from him that night.

“I love you so much, in fact, that I’m looking past the fact that you chose the night before a huge operation to tell me that,” you said with a laugh, trying to distract yourself from the demon’s in your head.

He laughed too. You both relaxed into the vibrations of each other's bodies and then lay quietly for a moment, staring up at the old scuffed ceiling above.

Though you couldn’t linger there for long. You pushed your way out of his almost iron grip and rolled around, propping your head up so that you could see his face. You were surprised to see the look of consternation that greeted you. It was like looking into a mirror. His eyes were half lidded as he looked down and his lips were pursed, the pink line of his scar stretching taught as he thought deeply on something.

“Well, seeing as you love me too… Would you offer me some assurance?”

You reached over to him and cupped his jaw in your hands, adjusting his face so that he’d meet your gaze. You searched his eyes for a moment and suddenly something clicked in the place as you were finally broken out of your wallowing.

“Assurance for whatever it was that you couldn’t sleep over?” you guessed.

He nodded, the scratch of his stubble sharply rubbing against your palm. You smoothed your thumb over his cheek and he leaned into your touch, somehow looking younger and smaller than he usually did.

“Things will be intense tomorrow…I will be breaching rooms with countless unknown men that will be shooting at us, and I’ll be having to make quick decisions - act on instinct. Whatever you see tomorrow, know that I love you and that I wish you didn’t have to witness any of it. In another life, I’d spare you from ever having to even know about it. I just need to know, that after we come back, no matter what you see, that you won’t run from me. As much as I’ve tried to protect myself, I know that that’s all over now. I know now there’s no way to save myself from the hurt, the same way I couldn’t protect myself from anyone else I’ve ever loved in my life. I just want to know that you’ll give me a chance to explain myself if you see something that you don’t like again… that you won’t leave me.”

Oh König…

You felt the remainder of your tears threaten to spill over and flood your sheets, but you held them back and closed your eyes instead, thinking for a moment. You hadn’t reacted well the last time you’d heard him at work. How would you react if you were to see him in action now?

You shuddered at the thought, but let it pass quickly. At the end of the day, you were all going there to reap an unspeakable violence to a group of people that had committed atrocities in return. There were no pure intentions and there were no good players between any of you. There was only putting an end to a group that threatened to kill innocents. If König was going to be at the head of the speartip, then he had to be damn sharp. You couldn’t have him ineffective with worry over what you might think.

Couldn’t put him at risk.

“König, I promise that whatever I see…whatever I think or feel in the moment…I won’t shut you out. We can talk about it all when we get home again. But whatever you do, don’t put yourself in harm's way trying to protect my feelings. We’ll make it through this together, no matter what, ok?”

He smiled at you, a twinkle returning to his sapphire irises. He turned and kissed your hand, you still held his head, and you both closed your eyes for a moment, revelling in the private moment between yourselves.

“Ok,” he finally replied. “I feel like I can sleep now. Why don’t you try to get some rest as well? See if you can shut off that busy mind of yours.”

You both settled into a silence after that, letting yourselves relax into the calm. At some point you turned back around and a little while later, König switched off your lamp. In the back of your mind you worried that you’d be discovered come morning time, but König assuaged your fears before you could air them and whispered to you, tickling your ear as he told you that he’d set an early alarm.

“I love you, König,” you whispered, your half smile lost to the night.

It felt like something to giggle over, like a secret between school children. You could barely contain your smile.

“I love you too,” König replied, pressing a kiss to your temple, “I’ll love you always.”

-☠️-

König had stayed true to his word and had left while the sky remained dark, shutting off his near silent alarm on the second ring and scurrying out quietly before anyone would be any the wiser. Anyone that didn’t already know anything anyway.

It felt like Ghost had almost sold you out the moment that you’d stepped foot onto the transport. The sound of your boots nervously clanging against the metal ramp drew his attention, and all at once his conversation with the Captain ceased and he fixed his eyes on you with a glare.

It was enough to freeze you into place, forcing you to maintain eye contact with him until he released his mental hold over you. You Clutched furiously onto the handle of your backpack, hoping like hell that it wouldn’t shake too badly.

For a few painful seconds you were stuck still, though just as you thought that Ghost might say something after all, he turned away again and blanked you completely. Price gave him a frown and said something low under his breath, but whatever it was Ghost shook his head and carried on with what they were discussing before.

It was like some kind of twisted game of red light/green light. If that’s the way he’s going to play things this’ll be a hell of a way to go out, you thought to yourself. That is if you even made it out of the mission.

You were supposed to be on Ghost’s team, and at that point you weren’t completely convinced that he would bother too much to look out for you anymore. No, now it was just you and Horangi, and as much as König seemed to get on with him, you and he had never exchanged more than a couple of words to each other.

Would Soap and Gaz offer swapsies?

You shook your head at the thought of Gaz ever going off plan, especially one that Price had approved. No, instead of hoping for better, you faced reality and took a seat far away from Ghost, throwing your stuff down for what felt like the last time. You sank down on your cracking knees, settling next to your bulging bag and holding it like a plush toy. The squishy material was solid under your grasp and made a great pillow for you to rest your head on. It was enough to lull you into a sense of security, enough to make you close your eyes.

“Sneak!”

Your head shot up and you lost your breath, staring wide eyed into the direction that you’d heard the voice come from. Was it Ghost? Was he going to reveal everything just to spite you now that you were getting comfortable?

No. Soap looked down at you instead, shooting you a grin as he saw how much you’d shit yourself at his shout. Stupid bastard. You hit out at his leg and huffed when he sat down next to you, feeling like his loud obnoxious voice in your ear was just about the last thing you needed.

And just to sour your mood more, just to make matters all the better, he shoved your shoulder and almost sent you keeling over and tumbling over to Ghost and Price. As if Ghost needed another reason to want to get back at you.

You threw your hands out and pushed yourself up, attempting to shove him almost twice as hard back. He’d dodged at the last second and had you wheeling forward this time, though at the very least you had your bag to fall onto instead of Ghost this time.

“What the fuck are you being so childish for?” you grumbled, recovering and rubbing the sore spot where he’d shoved you.

“Ooft, someone’s grumpy, eh?” Soap tittered, smile never leaving his face. “Did you not get much rest last night?”

You grunted and folded your arms, staring straight ahead like you might melt the plane’s walls.

“The fuck does it matter to you?”

“I’ll take that as a yes then - as usual.”

Soap raised his brows, challenging you to defend yourself. Normally you’d probably shove him again or throw a verbal barb at him, but that day you were in no mood to play. Especially not when the truth was going to come out sooner rather than later, and you weren’t convinced you were going to be on joking terms anymore.

No, it wouldn’t be long until he knew about you and König, and your mind was already filled with the sight of his angry frown setting itself upon you. It was better that you didn’t make it all worse by pretending everything was fine, you reasoned, so that being the case you ignored him and planted your head back down on your bag.

“Crabbit little twat,” Soap snorted. “Better find your sense of humour before you wake up again. And if you’re gonna be in a mood with me, then you can forget sleepin’ and drooling all over me too!”

You grunted in response, and gave him nothing else. You were too sick with worry to respond properly, even despite the ache that developed as you realised that that might be one of your last ‘friendly’ interactions with him. The weight in your heart increased tenfold, feeling as if it were a sand timer growing heavier by the minute. Better not to think about it. Better to shut it all out, to shut down.

Unsurprisingly your mood wasn’t lifted by the sleep you caught up on. It only served to keep you from agonising about your situation until the plane slammed down onto the dodgy countryside landing strip. That shocked you back to life again. From then on, until you reached the safe house, your mood remained sour and kept the others from bothering you much.

When you got there, of course, you had to buck up and try to act normal. You couldn’t have the others picking anything up, couldn’t let them think you were anything else except tired and grumpy. It wasn’t that far outside the realm of normal, you never slept very well whenever you had to travel away anyway.

When it came time to go over the briefing, you quietly set yourself as far away from Ghost as you could muster and stood around the projector wall, listening to Price’s briefing intently while you locked your arms into a folded position. The light splashed across his face in brief interludes, his weight was shifting from foot to foot as he walked you all through the plan in his booming voice, he was restless. He was right to be.

Price knew that the intelligence that had been gathered was of questionable accuracy - he told you all as much and Laswell confirmed it. She didn’t look that much more confident that him. The men who’d spilled their guts to the interrogators had varying degrees of incentive to reveal the true nature and layout of their base and all of you knew that they were highly fantastical to boot. It didn’t matter how many exercises you’d run through, none of you could’ve really known what was in store for when you raided the warehouse.

You’d looked round the room as he’d talked about that, scoping out the faces of all the men that you were going to fight alongside. Your eyes slowly ran over the 141, König, Horangi, and all those of the other team that Price had assembled to lock down the perimeter. There were hard eyes all around, everyone stayed quiet, listening to the captain until his very last word. Even Laswell had limited interjections, she was just as stone faced as everyone else, letting Price take the lead.

“I want all of you to be at the top of your game. On a mission like this there is zero and I really do mean zero margin for error! You make a mistake on Rousseau’s home turf and you will get yourself or one of your teammates killed. All of you must communicate, I want clear positions and status updates on comms. You will tell me where you are in the warehouse and you will let me know who you come across, is that clear?”

You all responded, an impassioned “yes, sir!” rang throughout the room, ricocheting off of the walls and back into the crowd like a bullet.

“Good,” Price said curtly. “Now, enough talking,we move out in thirty minutes. And remember - Zero margin for error! Clear communication! Don’t get yourselves killed.”

“Yes, sir!”

You all sounded off for the last time and set to work scurrying around, gathering gear and preparing the trucks for departure. You’d be driving out until you reached the edge of the forest and from then on you would be trekking out to the compound, a group of old warehouses that had belonged to a logging company before it had gone out of business years before. You were in for a hard day.

Though as Ghost reminded you, when he icily stared at you from the otherside of the room, the hardship wasn’t going to end at capturing Rousseau. Your problems were only going to multiply from that day on.

You were the first to break eye contact that time, nervously shifting away and grabbing your gear, double checking your ammo and your pockets. You stroked your hands up through the curves and rough textures of your armour and bags and went through your mental checklist, trying to fill your mind with something other than all the swirling thoughts that threatened to compromise you.

“All good, Sneak?”

You snapped your head to your left side, meeting Gaz’s tilted stare.

“All good, Sergeant,” you answered, repacking a few of your rounds.

“Sergeant?” he chuckled.

“Did your rank change while I was asleep?”

“No, but you seemed to,” he shrugged.

“I’m stressed, there’s a lot at stake here,” you said, swallowing down another of your silly lies. “But all that matters is that I’m here right?”

Gaz shook his head as you reminded him of the words he’d said to you months before. Ever since he’d lectured you about letting König distract you, you liked to tease him and call him mini Price, reciting his words back to him without fail. I wanna go out there knowing you’re here with us and not turning yourself into a walking target. You’d do your best Price impression whenever you recounted them.

You didn’t bother this time - not while Price was in the room with you. Gaz rolled his eyes and patted your back, almost turning away to sort his own things before a smile lit his face.

“Well with a good attitude like that I might just keep you around when I get promoted to Captain,” he laughed, walking away before he could see the smile dropping off your face.

Gaz might’ve wanted to keep you around - but would Price?

-☠️-

It was unsurprising, to say the least, that you were going to discover John Rousseau’s last stand wasn’t going to be easy. No. He was intent on going out with a bang.

It had been a difficult breach, you’d lost a couple of the men that Price had sent to crack the warehouse open with you. They’d fallen in the fatal funnel that had been created when the enemy worked out your entry point. Despite the high levels of bloodshed though, König remained mostly unharmed.

You’d tried not to let yourself get distracted by him, but even still, had found your eyes magnetised to him at times, had seen him shooting quickly and forcing enemies close when he needed to, basically folding people in half in an effort to break them. Some of the sounds their bones made still echoed in your ears.

Everything had moved so fast. Your mind had very little bandwidth to process it all. One moment you were on the first floor, desperately trying to locate the stairs and get to Rousseau’s ‘war room’, the next you were deep into the building, continuing to blast through doors with Soap at the head while you, Ghost and Horangi secured the rear.

Gunshots echoed out throughout the hallways, lights flickered and sparked and rained down electrical orange confetti as they were shot from the ceiling and swung out like some kind of deadly assault course. The floor in front of you flashed white and gold and soon you were drowned in darkness. All the lights in the room crashed down into their final resting places.

Ghost was in the room across from you, Horangi was with him too. You’d decided to separate when you’d seen a lone man run into the little office, you were convinced you’d seen someone hauling a massive gun across his back. It was hard to be sure what it was, maybe some type of PKM, but whatever it could have been would do a lot of damage, you knew that much. Though now, as you were left alone in the shadows, it had felt like your mind had played tricks on you.

Your breathing was shallow, and no matter how thick your earbuds were, your ears were still ringing from all the abuse they’d had to endure. It felt like you’d been crammed under an old church bell and someone was hitting it on all sides. There was a lightning storm in your head and a heatwave through your whole body.

Part of you was almost begging to be in the debrief with Price already.

You flicked your night vision down and scoped the room, tracing through the green fog for any signs of enemies. There was nothing obvious. The pulse of your speeding heart thumped away steadily in your ears while the room remained deathly still. Where the fuck are you?

Something flashed out of the corners of your eyes and before you could even turn to see it, you were being overwhelmingly set upon. You stepped backward and leveraged your weight, getting yourself in a good position to strike your assailant and baulked when he stopped you in your tracks and smashed you against the wall.

Ouch.

The air shot out of your lungs, your goggles had skewed over your eyes, but after a few seconds of shock you were thankfully able to dodge the figure from hitting you and shoved them off to your side. With tears in your eyes, and knees screaming out, you got yourself up.

It was fight or die. You picked up your gun, scraping the heavy weapon against the floor, and unloaded it into your attacker, just as he tried to rush you again.

His body collapsed to the floor in a spray of mist and you watched motionlessly as he fell forward and into a lifeless heap at your feet. The gun was like a lead brick in your arms, but still you held it aloft, waiting for anyone else that might try to get the drop on you.

Why’s it so quiet?

“Sneak, what the fuck was that?” Ghost called out. “And where the fuck did you run off to?”

You could hear him distantly through in the other room, but his voice was also straining loud and clear over the busy comms, you knew your reply would be too. All of you had been running around for a lot longer than you would’ve liked. Then again, it was a blessing that you were still up and kicking if anything. There had been so many surprise attacks launched on you, you were lucky to only sport a few bruises for your troubles.

“In the room across from you LT. Took down an enemy, heading back to you now.”

You took one last look around the ruins of the office, and once satisfied there were no more hidden assailants, you walked toward the doorway. After plastering yourself to the wall, you took a look up and down the hall, pivoting out a little just to be sure no one was going to take a lucky shot. All clear. Well, one end of the hallway anyway, the other was completely blocked off by a stack of fallen units and desks.

Probably not a good sign.

Were they directing you?

You crossed the threshold fully and bolted into the next room, locking eyes with Ghost as he perched his foot on a fallen desk chair, it was rattling from his weight. Horangi gave you a nod from Ghost’s side and glanced over to the head of the room, keeping watch over Soap as he set up his charges with no small amount of grumbling. That wasn’t a good sign either.

Your body was getting tired, your back was aching from all the weight you’d been hauling round. The only thing getting lighter was your ammo. You were praying that you were close to the end, hoping that wherever this supposed room was that Rousseau had locked himself into, it was going to reveal itself soon. You didn’t know how much more you could take.

“Stay on that door Sneak, make sure no one else goes looking for hiding spots” Ghost directed. “What’s taking so long, Soap?”

You turned and followed Ghost’s order, side eyeing König as he stood over your struggling teammates, dwarfing Gaz and Soap under his watchful stance. He was breathing heavily, you could see the dramatic rise and fall of his hood giving away his fatigue. Other than that though, you were relieved to see that he was still unhurt.

Focus!

You snapped your attention to the hallway again and ignored your boyfriend, pulling your thoughts away from him completely. It had been a long time since you’d been on a mission with König and you were unused to the amount of space he took up. He was clouding your thoughts, sending your brain churning out worry like a spitting volcano as he kept charging through doorways and getting up close and personal with men as if he were indestructible.

You shook your head and cast your eyes through the shadows, watching out for movement. You couldn’t linger over König any longer.

Soon you realised that there wasn’t any noise. It wasn’t right. Things never went the way you’d trained for almost one hundred percent of the time, but it was strange that there hadn’t been more men around. You’d encountered most of the men on the way in and now that you were further into the heart of the building they were sprouting up in numbers few and far between. That combined with the fact the building felt strategically blocked off in areas was all just one big red flag, waving and buffeting like a sail in the breeze.

“LT, there’s explosives already set here,” Soap shouted. “I couldn’t be sure before…but they've hidden them in the door casing. Powerful stuff by the looks of it too. If we try to get through this we could end up blasting ourselves to the moon by the looks of it.”

You whipped your head around and back to the group at the door, watching as they all stepped back. All at once everyone's heads snapped to Ghost and he frowned deeply enough that it could be seen through his eyeblack.

“Price, did you get that?” Ghost asked, speaking clearly for the comms.

“Copy,” Price said, his voice crackling through all of your headsets. “Can you find an alternative route ahead?”

“Not on this floor,” Ghost responded. “This is the only way up.”

“Fuck!”

You winced at Price’s outburst and bit your lip. Should you speak?

Fuck it.

“There haven’t been a lot of men compared to what we expected either,” you noted. “Anyone else get the feeling we’ve been set up?”

Everyone else seemed to have the same thought, Gaz nodded your way, König looked like he wanted to scratch his way out of the walls and take you with him, Ghost narrowed his eyes. Was he annoyed you’d stated the obvious? You frowned over at him, but he moved shortly after that, sidling up to the window and taking a cautious peak outside. His back visibly stiffened as he caught a glimpse of something.

“Price, there’s a truck heading out the gates to the south side. Do you see it?”

“We’re tracking it now. Ghost, take both of the teams out of the warehouse, whatever’s going on, I don’t like it. Meet us back at the extraction point, copy?”

“Copy, Captain.”

Ghost motioned his head in the direction of the doorway you were still guarding and while the others filed toward you, you stayed in place. You had to ensure no one would surprise them while they stepped out of the room. Ghost passed you and patted your shoulder, his touch like a lightning shock to your system.

As much of a professional as he was, you hadn't expected him to be at a point where he was making an effort to praise you. A warmth spread over your chest then.

Nevertheless, you couldn’t let yourself get too carried away. You put it to the back of your mind and followed up the rear of your group, looking around as you passed through the hallways of fallen men. Bodies littered the floors and by then most of the hallways were dark and devoid of any lighting. The green haze of your night vision goggles continued to wave unsettlingly and the crunch of debris was ever present under your boots.

“We need to move slowly and quietly,” Ghost directed, heading toward the front of your group. “If the bastards have set up bombs there’s no telling what way they were trying to direct us and what happens if another one of them catches us alive. Any one of them could have a detonator, and we know from previous encounters they’re not shy about martyring themselves for the cause.”

Your heart rate picked up, but still you kept marching ahead. The group moved forward like a little troupe of ants, following your masked leader to what you hoped was safety. Each skittering stray piece of furniture under your feet had you jumping, every breath you took was like a gust of wind. Even with your ears ringing it felt like every bit of muffled noise was coming through like the beginnings of a dance anthem.

Knowing that someone with the power to blow the whole building on you might jump out at any second wasn’t great for your weakening composure. That wouldn’t stop you though. Your group powered on down the halls until you reached the lower stairway, and each of you took every step with care, pointing your weapons in different directions just to be sure that every angle was covered.

With your gun pointed down, you were able to see that there was activity on the bottom floor, you could see people moving down below. You tapped Soap on the shoulder and pointed them out, allowing him to pass on the message until it carried on through the line and down to Ghost. All of you stopped moving then and watched the little group, stuck in silence while they propped open a piece of wood that had been covering a doorway in the stairs.

Ghost extended his arm and gave you all a series of clear hand signals, watching down the line to make sure you all read him clearly. Stay silent. Stay on me. We’re following them.

There was more pressure than ever to make sure that your steps were soundless. Your heartbeat was in your ears and your body was buzzing with how tightly your muscles were wound. Every step took you closer to the bottom and to the hatch, every successful movement gave you hope that you wouldn’t be found out.

When your group reached the bottom, you were able to see that the men had replaced the sheet of wood and old construction PVC to try and hide the secret exit. Clearly that hadn’t been meant for your eyes. Perhaps it was lucky that you’d come to the stairway at the right time - it was hard to say, maybe they’d meant for exactly that to happen.

Ghost looked to König and together, without having to communicate, they shifted the board and König took position at the front. As always, he was first to breach.

All of you crept into the blown out entryway and were surprised to find a tunnel at your feet, complete with a very haphazard ladder built down into it. Aside from that, the little room you were in was empty. König replaced the piece of wood over the door once everyone was inside and soon you were surrounded in complete shadow, staring around at the others through the green hues.

“Price, we’ve found a tunnel under the stairway of the building. What do you want us to do?” Ghost enquired, keeping an eye on the tunnel to make sure no one down below indicated that they’d heard him.

The comms were quiet, nothing but the ghostly whisper of static crumbling away at your ears. All of you eyed each other, stares hard enough to the cut the air between you all. The little room was getting hot with all of your bodies filling it, each breath getting harder to take.

“Price, come in,” Ghost demanded. “Laswell? Anyone?”

Nothing.

“Fuckin’ hell,” Soap breathed.

You pursed your lips and kept your stare fixed on Ghost. His eyes were jumping between you all like he was deciding on his lunchtime football team. He took a moment to think, trying to bring clarity into the stuffy room, he was probably waiting for Price to come back in too, but nevertheless the line remained dead.

“Right. Here’s what we’re gonna do. More than likely this entire building is rigged to blow, we need to get out, but more than likely this tunnel is a sign that Rousseau must be here. He would never have left all his men behind, he likes to make a show of being on base and ‘protecting’ and taking control of his men. König, you’re gonna lead Horangi and Gaz through the back entrance at the loading bay and head to the extraction point, find out why command isn’t talking to us. I’m taking Sneak and Soap with me and we’re gonna see what’s down there, see if we can’t dig Rousseau out.”

“What?”

All of you turned your heads as König spoke, the sharpness of his voice coming out muffled through his hood.

“Did you not hear me right?” Ghost asked.

“I heard you clearly, Lieutenant,” König sneered. “But I don’t agree with that course of action. You can’t just go wandering around tunnels with only two people with you, that’s suicide. Price gave his orders before the line went down, he was very clear, therefore we should all be going to the extraction point.”

“This isn’t the time to disagree with me, König.”

“It is if you’re going to get yourself and two of your subordinates killed,” König said, clearly gritting his teeth. “Not to mention you’re abandoning us with god knows how many men waiting outside to stop us from leaving.”

“Nice of you to care about what happens to us,” Ghost remarked, “Then again there’s probably only one person you’re trying to protect here, isn’t there?”

Your stomach dropped to your feet. It was like a small fire had broken out in the room and now you had the urge to go beating down the secret entrance and throwing caution to the wind. Was this really going to happen?

“What’s that supposed to mean?” König asked.

“You know what it means. Now would you like to press the issue or would you like to get back to your job and do what you’re being paid to do, you fucking goon.”

König seemed to shoot you a sideways glance, you couldn’t really tell with his visor down, but before you could think to warn him otherwise he decided that it was indeed time to press the issue. Every fibre of your being wanted to throttle him then. If your choice was crawling into a death tunnel or ending up in an argument between Ghost and König during an operation, then tunnel of death it is!

“Paid personnel or not, at least I’m trying to get us all out safely,” König retorted.

“All? Trying to make sure we all get out, or just trying to make sure you’ve got a warm hole to crawl back to at the end of this? Which is it really?”

There was an almost tangible silence in the room. It was as if there was a thick bubble coating you all, preventing a single whisper of noise from escaping. You couldn’t even hear the others breathe, not over König anyway. He was panting like a charging bull, breaking through the bubble, he sounded like he was ready to tear Ghost down into a stump.

“Ghost, what’re you talking about?” Soap said, not able to contain himself. “We shouldn’t be arguing, we should be moving! Let’s just go.”

“You’re not going down into that tunnel, Sergeant!” König warned, making a move to stop Soap.

“Or what?” Ghost asked, rising to his full height and jumping into König’s path.

König stood silently, he didn’t say anything - but he didn't allow Ghost to intimidate him either. He stood perfectly still, besides straightening his back, and eyed his opponent. The two of them looked like windup toys ready to strike.

“Nothing to say?” Ghost sneered. “Then move.”

“Lieutenant, be reasonable,” König said.

“I am being incredibly reasonable, König,” Ghost laughed, a dark chuckle rumbling from his throat. “In fact, judging by the way you’re acting, maybe Sneak can tell you just how reasonable I’m being.”

Everyone’s heads turned to you, navigating the thick silence that followed with ease. Their night vision goggles stared you down as if they were being programmed to move in sync. You swallowed a thick lump in your throat and gripped tightly at your gun, holding onto it like it was the only thing tethering you to reality. What were you supposed to say now?

“What’s going on?” Gaz sighed, clearly at the end of his tether.

“Tell them what’s going on, Sneak,” Ghost ordered. “Tell them exactly why this little song and dance is happening right now. Go on. Let them know why Captain Rags has his face in a twist over you going down into the tunnel. Let’s get it out there for the world to know.”

Every one of his words hit you like a knife in your gut. There were blades sticking out at all angles and it was taking all your strength just to stay up. So this was it? You were truly going out in a blaze, but it was far from glorious.

“Sneak?” König said, his voice strained with confusion.

“König, Ghost found the pictures in your wallet when he knocked your stuff off the rack yesterday,” you said quietly. “He knows we’re together.”

“What the fuck!” Soap whispered.

“Sneak, what do you mean you’re together?” Gaz asked. “You can’t be together, Price will fucking kill you…”

Horangi remained silent.

“Apparently they’re not ones for following orders,” Ghost sneered. “Otherwise we wouldn’t even be having this discussion would we?”

Ghost looked between you both and you growled out at yourself, sinking into disbelief that all of it was really happening. It felt surreal to be standing around arguing in a building that was full of god knows how many explosives. Why was it that König could never just follow orders? Why couldn’t you? The room was so hot it felt like you were all starting to cook, smelt like it too.

“König, just do as Ghost says and take the others,” you commanded. “At this rate we’re all going to get blown up and this whole argument won’t even matter.”

“Sneak-”

“No, König! Just go, we can all talk about it later.”

“That’s if you even make it back later!”

“Don’t think like that. Just take Horangi and Gaz back to extraction and find out why Price hasn’t answered us. Otherwise none of us are getting out of here!”

König continued to stare for a second more, but finally he’d seen sense. He shook his head and furiously muttered something to himself in German before he walked back to the exit. He gave you one last look and with that, slid back the wooden panel and walked out with Horangi in tow, missing only Gaz as he left you all.

With the door open and König gone you felt like you could breathe a little easier again, but as soon as you looked back at the others, the feeling went away. Gaz shook his head at you and walked out, mumbling something that was too low to hear and soon it was only you, Ghost and Soap left.

“Steamin’ Jesus, Sneak. What the fuck were you thinking? Have you really been lying to us all this time?”

You sighed and looked at Soap, watching the way his mouth downturned in disgust. A horrible nauseous feeling permeated in your stomach and in your throat, but you couldn’t pay too much attention to it. You had to keep your head on more important things.

“Clearly I wasn’t thinking,” you sighed. “Look, I’ll answer whatever questions you want after we’re out of this, but we need to get moving.”

“Agreed,” Ghost said, already heading for the tunnel. “We’ve had enough distraction already.”

Ghost cut Soap off from interrupting, shooting him a hard look before he took a flashbang from one of his holsters and primed it. He threw it down the tunnel and waited for a reaction. Nothing. After being met with silence, he quickly flew down into the darkness, leaving you and Soap up top. Soap surely burned a hole through his night vision and into you.

You shivered and followed Ghost, cautiously setting your foot on the ladder, not liking the way it wobbled with Ghost’s weight and yours. There wasn’t much to be done about it though. You had to get down there quickly and make sure he had backup.

You scurried down and stuck one foot behind the other, releasing each of the metal rungs like they were on fire. It didn’t take long until you were at the bottom and eventually Soap followed you both and rather nicely decided against booting you in the head on his way down, dropping to your side instead.

“There’s no one here, but they’ll have heard that, no doubt,” Ghost warned. “Stay close and lets find out what these fuckers are hiding down here.”

You nodded your agreement and followed him down the tunnel, watching the rickety support beams with a cautious eye. König had been right to worry.

What’s he thinking right now? Is he hurt?

Not again, stop thinking about him. Focus!

The tunnel didn’t seem like it had been in operation for very long. Something that had seen more use would surely have been built better, you reasoned, not looking like it could crumble at any second. As you took a few more twists and turns and continued to follow the path it didn’t seem to get much better. The walls looked hastily dug out and like any little disturbance might bury them. Though as you all turned another corner and followed the winding walkway, you were surprised to find yourself in a rather large cavernous room.

It was built solidly and looked far more like a permanent structure, it was supported by thick metal beams from which overhead lights were suspended and hanging down from long wires. It also contained a plethora of scaffolding like shelves, housing a few abandoned looking wooden crates, some of them looked like they’d been raided, others were dusty and dark with disuse. You flipped your goggles up and watched the two men at your sides repeat the action, finally noticing the true extent of all the grime and blood that had covered them both.

“What is this place?” Soap wondered out loud.

“Looks like some kind of storage facility. Well, it was one anyway,” you remarked.

You didn’t miss the way Soap narrowed his eyes at you from the side of his vision. He advanced forward through the looming racks while you stayed behind and watched the other men go. You had to give yourself a second for the bile to stop rising in your stomach. To say that being on an op with two men that had it out for you was making you feel uneasy was an understatement.

However you didn’t have the luxury of lingering on for very long. Once you noticed Ghost heading to the set of shelves that blocked your view of the head of the room, you started to follow after him, ensuring that he’d have some cover. Part of you felt better being around someone that had had longer to digest the news.

Once you’d flown past the racks and over to Ghost you began to realise that there was a thrumming noise emanating from the far side of the room. It rumbled and growled and grew harder on your ears the closer you got and as soon as you made your way round the racking you saw the source of it. A big set of metal doors.

Soap joined you from the otherside, clearly finding the rest of the room just as empty as you had. Ghost looked over to Soap then and back at the door, motioning for him to get close.

“Soap, do you have the borescope?”

“Aye, hold on, I’ll sort it.”

Soap reached into his bag and pulled out the long snake of wire and fetched his drill. From there he made a small opening in the door with quick precision and sent the coiled camera through, taking a look at the monitor as he did so. The monitor quickly flashed on and you and Ghost were able to peer round and see a flurry of men running around a mixture of freight and pickup trucks, loading cargo onto them. There were some that were beginning to drive off, halting just as they made it onto the big ramp then ran up the far side of that room.

How on earth had they managed to hide that?

You frowned as you watched on, realising that the last trucks were beginning to get closed up and prepared for driving off, you could hear the echoes of the doors being slammed shut. The men were shouting louder now, driving each other to go, go, go. You watched Ghost out of the corner of your eye, waiting for him to make a decision. All until the final man walked into the centre of the room, he was surrounded by a group of heavily covered up muscle men toting machine guns like they were little more than big boys with pretend sticks in the playground. The man walked in the centre of them with a confident strut - he looked just like he did in the videos.

“Holy fuck, is that Rousseau?” Soap whispered.

Ghost nodded tightly.

“Brothers! We have done well today, the enemy safehouse has been destroyed and the rest of the soldiers will still be trapped in the warehouse trying to route us out. Let us leave and go to our new base, onwards and upwards my friends!”

The enemy safehouse has been destroyed? Price? Laswell? Were they ok?

You widened your eyes, but you didn’t get much time to think about Price and the others.

Rousseau had sped over to one of the trucks and once inside, had set off a cataclysm. The doors to the ramp opened, bathing the basement in startling sunlight and from there the explosions began, a loud series of bangs that shook the room like a hurricane, each one unsettling the walls and floor as they got closer. It felt like a tiger leaping ever closer, ready to land straight onto your belly and tear you open.

What the fuck!

“We need to get out of here!”Ghost roared. “Head for the trucks, we can try to get into the one at the back.

He kicked at the door and luckily it burst open, allowing you all to run forward and into the next room. Because the room was so long, you were still covered by shadow and no one seemed to notice your group’s appearance. No one was shooting at you anyway.

Your throat burned as you ran, your mind was racing, intent on following Ghost as he stuck to the walls, keeping yourselves hidden in the darkness. He was racing out ahead while you and Soap tied with each other, running neck and neck and panting like hounds as you propelled yourselves ahead of the blasts. The room was really shaking now and while the last truck began to pull away and ascend up the ramp, your eyes teared up.

No, no, no. Not like this!

You pumped your legs a little bit harder and Soap did the same, managing to sprint ahead like you were all in a murmuration, moving fluidly and in sync with one another. With that effort made, you all managed to jump onto the last truck, detaching from the wall at the last minute before attaching yourselves to the back. You all grabbed onto what holds that you could, affixing yourselves to the bolts that kept the doors closed and held on for dear life, watching on with horror as you saw the warehouse burning up in the distance, leaving it in a trail of smoke.

It was then you were finally able to hear the crackle of comms and a blended mixture of broken up accented shouts, German, Korean and English. The others were trying to contact you.

Had they made it out ok?

“Gaz, is that you?” Ghost shouted out, trying to adjust his headset while he gripped onto the bolt. “We’re on Rousseau, we’re out of the warehouse. Did your team make it out?”

If you weren’t busy being terrified for everyone’s lives you would have rolled your eyes.

“LT, is that you?” Gaz called out, his voice finally coming through clearly. “Are you all ok?”

Ghost didn’t get a chance to say anything to that, he was quickly cut off.

“Lieutenant, respond!” König snarled, his voice snapping out like an angry wolf.

“We made it out,” Ghost confirmed. “Did you hear what I said? Where are you? We’re following Rousseau, we’re on one of his trucks. His men must’ve been instructed to set this up for him upon capture. They must’ve had a plan to move when they knew we were coming.”

“We made it out, we started heading for the extraction point, but we got cut off by Rousseau’s forces in the woods. He must’ve left men behind to try and stop us from getting out, we got em’ though. We still haven’t heard any word from Price. What direction are you heading in? Should we follow?”

“We got word that they destroyed the safe house,” Soap said. “Price and Laswell might not’ve made it.”

You finally turned and looked up, blinking back at the rush of air as you changed direction and looked at Soap. He looked like a terrified cat that had got itself stuck up a tree. Both of his hands must’ve been white knuckling the bolt from under his gloves - he was holding onto the same one as you, standing over you while you crouched low and hooked your feet into the groove of the bevelled doors. The extra grip was helping your shaking body.

Why couldn't Ghost have just let you and König pair off? You’d have taken jungle warfare over hanging off the back of a speeding truck anyday. It would have avoided the whole stupid argument back at the tunnel too. In that moment, while you held on for dear life, you realised that there was a lot of things that you’d have wished that could’ve been done differently.

“Don’t follow us,” Ghost said, taking back control of the line, “Try to find out if anyone made it to the extraction. You hear that, König? Make sure that we can make it out of this, don’t do anything stupid!”

“Hard to say what’s stupid when your definition seems so different to mine,” König snarked.

“König, don’t be a smartass! Just try and find Price so we can get Rousseau,” you growled.

Ghost tilted his head at you, clearly surprised that you’d been the one to tell him off for that. As much as you were relieved to know he was ok, and as much as you’d like to comfort him, you knew the mission was much bigger than yourselves. Getting everyone out safely and trying to successfully capture Rousseau was the most important thing and you could only do that if you were apart.

The line remained quiet for a second.

“Ok, we’re heading to the extraction again now,” Gaz confirmed. “We’ll let you know when we reach point.”

“Copy, Sergeant.”

You looked up at Ghost and then at Soap, watching as both men struggled with staying stuck to the truck. This wasn’t going to work long term, you could feel your own arms wanting to give out, it wouldn’t be long till you’d all come tumbling off and crashing onto the dirt road. You had to figure out a way to get to a more secure location.

“Ghost, do you think you can hold on to the truck and try to support my weight at the same time?” You asked.

“Why?” he barked.

“If you hold onto me, I can try and climb up the truck and get myself on top,” you explained.

“And then what about us?” Soap growled. “All very well sorting out a nice place for yourself up there.”

“If I move up there, then you can crouch next to Ghost and open the door on the side we’re standing on,” you said, glaring up at him. “That way we can all hold it so it doesn’t swing out and you two can climb in and shut it.”

This wasn’t the time for accusations. You waited for them both to share their thoughts, and jumped when the truck hit a bump. It almost sent you all flying. Soap yelped and hugged into the bolt tighter and Ghost grunted. You fumbled as your feet were displaced and wobbled, your hands slipping off of the bolt and sending you sprawling backwards.

Ghost reached out and grabbed you in the nick of time, just when you thought you were about to be grated parmesan on the side of the pebbled road. You huffed out a breath and grabbed a hold of the bar, swallowing down your pulse as it tried to climb out of your throat.

“Right, get on with it,” Ghost said, “I can only hold you for so long.”

You shook your head and had to remind yourself of the plan. That close call rocked you.

Without any more interruption, you grabbed onto the bolt on Ghost’s side with both hands and swung your legs up, planting them against the wall while Ghost kept his hand flat against your back. As you got higher up, his support dwindled, but from there you were able to reach around the top and kick your legs against the doors. With one last grunt you were able to get yourself fully on top of the truck, but kept yourself belly down on it, ensuring that you wouldn’t be seen.

“Ok, I’m gonna hold onto the door now. Open it when Soap’s in position.”

The other two fumbled around, getting themselves steady. After a few moments of contoroting themselves around one another they were able to open the door, it was heavy and it took everything in you not to go flying out with it even with Ghost holding it from his position too, but you were able to stop it just enough so that Ghost and Soap could climb in as they both took turns to hold the door alongside you.

Once they’d disappeared inside and snapped the door shut, you realised that there was a small fault in your plan when you were left gripping on for dear life. Not to mention how much colder it was on top with all the wind rushing past your face. Then there was also the bugs…

“Nice work, Sneak,” Ghost congratulated, voice coming in quiet over the line. “I’m gonna get soap to drill a hole in the ceiling. Have you got your knife with you?”

“Yeah, why?” you asked, frowning as you slowly worked out where he was going with this.

“That should give you something decent to hold onto.”

“Are you serious? Can’t you guys cut a hole in the ceiling for me?” you huffed.

“Who do you think I am, Qui-Gon fuckin’ Jinn?” Soap retorted, you could hear the drill going in the background. “Must’ve forgotten my lightsaber at home. Beyond blowing the thing off, how am I gonna cut a hole in the roof, sneak?”

“I’m not asking you to melt the whole roof off soap, you must be able to make a small hole with that drill, just make a few drill holes and weaken the metal!” you growled.

“Negative. We need you up there, Sergeant,” Ghost interrupted. “We need someone who can see ahead and tell us when the trucks are stopping or if we leave the forest. If they reach base or they leave us with no cover we need to get ready to jump off and hide.”

You sighed and watched as the drill bit poked its way out behind you, grating through the metal with a sound like grinding teeth. You would need to turn and slide forward a few inches to be able to reach it, but it looked like that was your best way to keep on top of the truck.

Without anymore stalling, you flipped around and watched as it disappeared and appeared a couple times more, forming a ragged little line. That would be enough for your knife to eat through.

You shakily reached behind you and to your knife holster, gripping the handle like a vice in your hands, whatever you did you couldn’t let it fly from your hold. With that in mind you quickly extended your arm and stabbed it through the hole, gritting your teeth as your hand slammed into the metal. That was surely going to bruise,

“Could’ve done with some warning, Sneak,” Soap huffed. “You almost took my finger off.”

“Poor baby, maybe you’d like to swap places,” you retorted. “See how you like holding onto the top of a truck with nothing but your hands.”

“Watch it, or I’ll send that knife flyin’ out,” he barked back.

“Shut up, Soap,” Ghost growled. “Keep the line clear. Sneak, let us know what you see, copy?”

“Copy that, Ghost.”

You hardened your gaze onto the horizon, watching as the trees came waving by and flew into your periphery, and adjusted your position. With both hands firmly wrapped around your knife, you were deadset on keeping your fingers wrapped around it with a snake like constriction. In that moment you were picturing it as Rousseau’s neck, already seeing red as you thought about Price and König and all the shit that you’d been through since chasing after the bastard.

You were going to get him. You were going to make him pay.

If König, Gaz and Horangi didn’t get back to you soon with good news, then you were fully prepared to unleash hell on him. It didn’t matter what Price was going to do when he found out about you and König, it didn’t matter about the rising blood and seething vitriol that would surely come with the revelation. Price was the one that helped shape you into the soldier you were, he was the one that had gotten you back alive from countless missions, he was your reason for marching on in some of your toughest fights. He cared about you and he believed in you - it was why he was so protective in the first place.

If Price was gone then it wouldn’t be long until the killer met the same fate…of course only after suffering for their actions in the meantime.

Next part here

#König #König x reader #könig fanfiction #modern warfare 2 #modern warfare fanfiction #mw2

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munchmemes · 1 month

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taylor swift lyrics, the tortured poets department edition, part two

guilty as sin?

▸ my boredom's bone-deep. ▸ am i allowed to cry? ▸ i'm seeing visions, am i bad? or mad? or wise? ▸ one slip and i'm falling back into the hedge maze. ▸ oh, what a way to die. ▸ i keep recalling things we never did. ▸ how i long for our trysts. ▸ how can i be guilty as sin? ▸ i keep these longings locked inside a vault. ▸ someone told me there's no such things as bad thoughts, only your actions talk. ▸ they're gonna crucify me anway. ▸ what if they way you hold me is actually what's holy? ▸ i choose you and me religiously.

who's afraid of little old me?

▸ the "who's who?`" of "who's that?" is poised for the attack. ▸ you don't get to tell me about 'sad'. ▸ if you wanted me dead, you should've just said. nothing makes me feel more alive. ▸ who's afraid of little old me? you should be. ▸ the scandal was contained, the bullet had just grazed. ▸ at all costs, keep your good name. ▸ you don't get to tell me you feel bad. ▸ is it a wonder i broke? ▸ let's hear one more joke. then we could all just laugh until i cry. ▸ i was tame, i was gentle till the circus life made me mean. ▸ they say they didn't do it to hurt me but what if they did? ▸ i want to snarl and show you just how disturbed this has made me. ▸ you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me. ▸ isn't that what they all said? that i'm fearsome and i'm wretched and i'm wrong. ▸ you lured me and you hurt me and you taught me. ▸ you caged me and then you called me crazy. ▸ i am what i am 'cause you trained me.

i can fix him (no really i can)

▸ the jokes that [you/they] told across the bar were revolting and far too loud. ▸ they shake their heads, saying "god help [them]" when i tell 'em you're the one. ▸ i can fix him, no really i can. and only i can. ▸ i could see it from a mile away. ▸ you had a halo of the highest grade, you just hadn't met met yet. ▸ come close, i'll show you heaven if you'll be an angel all night. ▸ trust me, i can handle me a dangerous [man/woman].

loml

▸ we were just kids, babe. ▸ i don't mind, it takes time. ▸ i thought i was better safe than starry-eyed. ▸ i felt aglow like this. never before and never since. ▸ you and i went from one kiss to getting married. ▸ you said i'm the love of your life about a million times. ▸ a conman sells a fool a get-love-quick scheme. ▸ i felt a hole like this never before and ever since. ▸ what we thought was for all time was momentary. ▸ i wish i could un-recall how we almost had it all. ▸ the coward claimed he was a lion. ▸ i'll still see it until i die. you're the loss of my life.

i can do it with a broken heart

▸ i can show you lies. ▸ i'm a real tough kid, i can handle my shit. ▸ they said 'you gotta fake it 'til you make it' and i did. ▸ you said you'd love me all your life but that life was too short. ▸ i can do it with a broken heart. ▸ i'm so depressed, i act like it's my birthday every day. ▸ i cry a lot but i am so productive, it's an art. ▸ you know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart. ▸ i can hold my breath, i've been doing it since [you/they] left. ▸ i'm miserable and nobody even knows!

the smallest man who ever lived

▸ was any of it true? ▸ now you know what it feels like. ▸ i don't miss what we had. ▸ in public, you showed me off then sank in stoned oblivion. ▸ you didn't measure up in any measure of a man. ▸ were you sent by someone who wanted me dead? ▸ good riddance 'cause it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden. ▸ i would've died for your sins. instead i just died inside. ▸ in plain sight you hid but you are what you did. ▸ i'll forget you but i'll never forgive.

the alchemy

▸ this happens once every few lifetimes. ▸ these chemicals hit me like white wine. ▸ what if i told you i'm back? ▸ the hospital was a drag. worst sleep i ever had. ▸ ditch the clowns, get the crown. ▸ what if i told you we're cool? ▸ honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy? ▸ where's the trophy?

clara bow

▸ all your life, did you know you'd be picked like a rose? ▸ i'm not trying to exaggerate but i think i might die. ▸ this town is fake but you're the real thing. ▸ take the glory, give everything. ▸ promise to be dazzling. ▸ you're the new god we're worshipping. ▸ beauty is a beast that roars down on all fours, demanding more. ▸ it's hell on earth to be heavenly. ▸ them's the breaks, they don't come gently.

#rp meme #rp starters #sentence starters #lyrics rp starters #lyrics starters #roleplay meme #lyrics rp meme #lyrics meme #taylor swift lyrics rp meme

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mono-dot-jpeg · 9 months

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a child and their 9ft pet - astral express crew

summary; the adventures of a 7 year old and their large mythical beast called ossy.

genre/extra tags; bullet fic/headcanons, anxious! reader, reader is connected to most animals (but mostly their companion), reader is from the luofu, i made reader a bit know it all sassy but it's okay it's only for a little bit, reader is a smart baby

[platonic] [7 year old! reader] [gender neutral! reader]

[buy me a kofi to support!]

a/n; this is the most steven universe shit i've seen /j /nm, that's what popped into my mind upon reading this ask. nothing wrong with it. just pointing it out KSDJKSJ also this is based off lion dog from chinese mythology which is what i assume you were describing from the shih tzu and also im rather familiar with the lion dog myself as someone who used to visit temples with my family (love those statues). anyways, hope you enjoy, you didn't really specify what type of work you wanted, so i did bullet fic/hcs

the crew met you when you were trying to avoid them

you're not really normal in the luofu, you were not really an anomaly but you weren't a normal kid either.

the general knew of you due to your larger than life pet.

well... it was more of a beast of mythic lore turned real but who's arguing about definitions here?

even if your pet was in a smaller form, they were still pretty big. about 4ft. maybe twice your height almost

but jingyuan let you have your pet as long as you weren't making trouble

anyways, back to the actual subject at hand.

the astral crew needed to find you since you were supposedly the young scholar of the luofu who seemed to know everything and loved learning about everything

you were almost a historian some would even say

but you didn't really like the idea of being a historian

you just like learning about everything

but you weren't the best around people

so when you met the crew .. .

you jumped right into your pet's fur, disappearing without a trace

"HUH?!"

"how did they disappear like that?"

"did they just jump into that animal's fur?"

march tries to reach out, but the dog barks angrily and backs up

"okay okay! sorry.. puppy?"

"they're not a puppy!" your voice erupts from the soft fur of the dog (?) your head pops up startling the express crew, "they're a lion! get it right!" you scolded them.

"but they don't look like a lion."

"and you don't look like a local, so what's it to you!?" you huffed. "you don't know everything about the luofu!"

"that's why we're here. we need to know more about the history of your home." the eldest man, welt yang, spoke gently. "general jingyuan sent us."

you sigh as you cuddle into your pet's fur, still leaving the crew to wondering how you're being contained in it. "okay. what do you want to know?" and you begrudgingly answer their questions. you eventually leave your pet's fur and they keep your feeling less anxious about the strangers who imposed on your reading time.

and that's it for now.

the crew is mildly concerned and curious about you\

they spot you around different parts of the luofu as they continue their adventure.

let's say that they even had more time to get to know you better. how you're kind of a wild card for the luofu cloud knights and how you'd rather do a plain hobby than fight.

but you're perfectly capable of doing so

well, mostly your pet.

boy were they shocked when they saw your already large ish lion change and grow into a true creature of mythology, and fought the marastruck with ease.

"no chewing! marastruck isn't good for your diet!" you had scolded after the fight was over. "put them down ossy!" despite their cowering size, they almost shrink at your words and remind the crew of a sad puppy or cat. but ossy listens to you and spits out the marastruck, letting it disintegrate into the air.

yeah.. the crew was even more curious after that.

trailblazer was the only brave enough to speak what they were all thinking. what is your pet and how did you get them?

and you told them the simple story that you gained them as a family heirloom and bonded a contract with them. you even formed other contracts with other animals but not as strong as ossy's contract.

ossy was sort of a present from your family as you came from a line of mythic beast tamers and now you're here with them

and after that, you visit the express once in a while with ossy by your side to get a break from the streets of luofu

you take up your other hobbies when you're in the express, often knitting or drawing and you make drawings and little bracelets from the crew. while your drawings and knitting works arent as amazing as your knowledge, you don't mind because it just means more to learn and improve on.

you love being with the crew now and you love ossy more than ever of course!

#honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail welt #honkai x reader #honkai star rail dan heng #hsr march 7th #honkai star rail march 7th #caelus honkai star rail #stelle honkai star rail #caelus x reader #stelle x reader #march 7th x reader #welt yang x reader #dan heng x reader

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pipi-un-kaki-in-pipi-land · 11 months

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Hashiras anddd their fav things?? 👀

hashira povs: their favourite things

note: i like how you put this in my rqs right before my exams 💀

w/c: 1k>

Kyojuro

fav food: tempura bento 100%. youd definitely make his day if you manage to cook up a hefty meal like this for him

fav hobby: probably watching television. like sumo wrestling - or anything as long as youre there to accompany him ^^

fav season: contrary to his fiery nature, i feel like he'll absolutely love winter because everything about it is just so chilly and snug and he'd love to embrace/cuddle you with his warmth if you get cold

fav green flag in a person: charismatic nature - i think he'd adore someone with similar traits to him, and also someone keen to impress; im sure he'd love to see someone playin it cool with an energetic personality

fav animal: probably a ferocious animal like a lion or a cheetah, because they represent bravery and strength just like himself

Tengen

fav food: something high-class, fancy, flashy and expensive af like sashimi

fav hobby: spending time with you, ofc. but he does has a thing for hot springs, im sure he loves to go there and take a dip with you

fav season: given his extravagant personality, it has to be spring cause it aligns with his character so much, and he loves to see the newly bloomed cherry blossoms because its scent reminds him of you

fav green flag in a person: it would probably be their confidence n those who embrace their insecurities and aren't afraid to show their uniqueness to others ^^ he would definitely adore a person with a positive self image and an exuberant personality just like him

fav animal: peacock cause it resembles him sososososo much - like its flamboyance and majesticness and theyre both really flashy LOL

Mitsuri

fav food: sakura mochi; it suits her persona so well. you noticed when she eats this, her smile would never disappear because it just tastes so good (even better if you made it)

fav hobby: in the trivia, she raises bees for honey - so she definitely has a thing for animals and something that suits her aesthetic nature, or maybe like japanese card games which suit her really well

fav green flag in a person: affection and quality time - she loves it when youre always there no matter what she does, and eating together is such a turn on for her. she loves when youre around and constantly making her blush with those affectionate words of yours

fav animal: obv cats LMAO her breathing styles are literally named after it, and it just suits her graceful nature (im pretty sure she has a pet cat already)

Sanemi

fav food: ohagi (sweet rice balls) for sure, even giyu stated it in the manga LOL. i think his usual rough attitude will melt when he takes a bite out of that chunky rice ball

fav hobby: probably does some crazy shit like beetle fighting or just dragging someone into dueling with him - but nothing compares when he does things with you, it just makes him feel 10x better

fav green flag in a person: it has to be their openness, honesty and their resilience. you obv have to be someone tuff like him (not necessarily in physical appearance) to gain his respect and oh my days words cant express when youre flirtatious with him - that's literally his biggest weakness hes gonna curl up into a ball and hide in the corner of a room out of embarrassment

fav animal: in the manga he does have a beetle, but i think his comfort animal would be dogs because his whole personality just swaps when he interacts with one - and he loves feeding them. its practically the only time you see him smile wholeheartedly

Iguro

fav food: nah bro this guy probably doesn't have a preference for food - he'll just eat whatever you eat, as long as it makes you happy

fav hobby: hear me out bro hes probably interested in some uncommon things like poetry or sculpting but hes such a quiet and reserved man its impossible to figure out what he likes or doesn't like - but whatever it is, he'll do anything if it meant being by your side

fav green flag in a person: i lowk feel bad for this guy; i think he dislikes women because his upbringing in the past but it was love at first sight when he saw you - he likes when people are commited and loyal, and someone who he can open about to without being scared of getting judged by them. but nevertheless, your wholesome personality just makes up for everything that he seeks in a person

fav animal: its pretty obvious (snakes)

Shinobu

fav food: due to her petite appearance, i feel like her appetite would be petite and to just a tiny adequate amount, don't judge me for this but i think she loves fruits (or mochi like mitsuri)

fav hobby: this woman is the literal embodiment of "don't judge a book by its cover" i feel like she has a thing for horror stories or she'll just whip out some scary shit to scare you but generally she just spends most of her time experimenting in things but she'll definitely go out of her way to entertain you

fav green flag in a person: someone who exhibits kindness & compassion - she'll definitely value someone empathetic and those who show genuine care towards others; it makes her happy when she sees good people in the world

fav animal: its either butterflies or her pet goldfish, but generally i think she'll treat any animal the same because shes such a sweetheart

Muichiro

fav food: i feel like this guy doesn't care about what he eats (maybe that's why he doesn't get along w tengen) but if i had to pick i feel like it would be radish sided with some sauce, just something plain yk

fav hobby: other than spending time with you, i think he'd do some papercraft or some peaceful activities when youre not around (he prefers being alone ig). by the time you come home there'll be like 10000 paper cranes folded by your bedside

fav green flag in a person: he really doesn't believe in green flagor red flags, just someone that can keep up with his forgetfulness and someone who isn't weak-minded and likes doing challenges with him

fav animal: i mean he cant really own one or his crow would get jealous, so i guess its his crow LMAO

Giyu

fav food: either cold soba or salmon daikon (simmered salmon with radish). you notice when he eats these foods, a rare smile emerges on his face and it makes you feel happy as well

fav hobby: i feel like he would kill time by doing some stupidly weird riddles and solving puzzles LOL cause hes quite a composed person so i dont think he would be into outdoor activities. he just enjoys being by your side

fav green flag in a person: due to his stoic nature he cant express much, but he deeply appreciates a person with a good sense of righteousness and integrity. he has immense respect for someone who'd stand up for something wrong no matter how difficult the situation may be

fav animal: i don't think he has the time to handle an animal, but it would be like a panther or a wolf cuz of their stoic demeanor before attacking but i rlly don't know

#kny x reader #kny fanfic #kimetsu no yaiba #sanemi x reader #muichiro x reader #kyojuro x reader #mitsuri x reader #demon slayer x reader #demon slayer #tengen x reader #giyu x reader #shinobu x reader #pipi un kaki in pipi caca land #kny headcanons

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filmbyjy · 1 year

Text

IT TAKES TWO

PAIRING: nishimura riki x fem!reader

SUMMARY: you've always despised nishimura riki. ever since he decided to jump onto the next girl when you broke up with him. your love for him lingered and you missed him. however, you knew he didn't like you anymore. or maybe he still did?

WARNINGS: this decently angsty and honestly idk what I even wrote. cursing and tons of them! very childish fighting between ni-ki and you. my brain can't comprehend wtf i wrote. kissing! idk if that's a warning.

WORD COUNT: 4.8K words

taglist[perm]: @ja4hyvn @ahnneyong @milklix @kar0ki @sugarsunoo

a/n: okay I lied. this has been in my drafts since 2022 but like still it’s been a year😀oh i didn't exactly proofread this. i did check the grammar a little whilst trying to write but it's not fully proofread.

you pushed yourself off the ground, breathing heavily and sweating profusely. the mirrors were fogging up, a true sign of hard work had been done.

“great job (name). that would be all for today.” heeseung, a senior of the dance club, says. you smiled at him.

“thank you sunbae.” heeseung chuckles.

“you don’t have to call me sunbae (name)-ah. we can speak casually, of course i’m still older than you so you have to use a little formality.” you shyly looked away.

“o-oh alright heeseung sunba-i mean heeseung oppa.”

“better.” he ruffles your hair.

“hey hyung, are you done with her? jay hyung has been looking for you.” ni-ki says.

you gave him a hard glare. now, you may ask who was this ni-ki guy. well he was nishimura riki, a classmate of yours.

heeseung nods and he sends a small smile to you before leaving the place. ni-ki rolls his eyes.

“you do realise heeseung hyung has a girlfriend right?”

“yeah.” you in fact did not hence you formed a painfully obvious crush on him. “why do you care anyways?” you growled at ni-ki.

“jeez calm down tiger, I just noticed how you always try too hard to get heeseung hyung to notice you. it’s clear he has already set boundaries between you and him. he sees you as his little sister.”

“shut the fuck up.” ni-ki smirks.

“and what if I don’t, lee?”

“well nishimura, both you and I know this wouldn’t end nicely so I suggest you shut the fuck up before I make you.” you stare at him hard.

“think I’m afraid of you Lee? just cause your brother is Lee Minho? captain of the dance club? your dear brother loves me (name)-ie.”

you gave ni-ki the finger and left with your things.

ah the dynamic between you and the boy. the tension was too high, even your brother thought so.

“that’s where you are, what took you so long.” minho whines.

“save that whining for jisung. ah wait, forgot you are probably stuffing your tongue down his throat instead.”

“yahhh what’s with the uptight behaviour?”

“you know why Minho.”

“you and riki kid again? oh lord, you two are like cats and water. enemies.”

“you’re just saying that because soongie wouldn’t get in the bath water.”

“SHE WAS CLAWING ON ME AND THAT SHIT HURT.”

“cut her nails then.”

“what? no! she has to use those nails to attack anyone I hate. I’m training her, she’s our fiesty lion.”

“and how is training going?” you looked over at Minho.

“not well…”

“there’s your answer, let her live. she probably already hates you more than ever.”

“SHE DOESNT. YOU’RE JUST UPSET RIKI HASN'T KISS YOU YET!”

“now why would I want that demon child to kiss me?”

“the tension (name), do you not feel it?”

“no mr.krabs, I am not feeling it. the only tension I’m feeling is our hatred for each other.”

“yeah but that tension can be something more…like sexual tension.” you gave your big brother a smack on the head.

“we are 17, Lee Minho. get your mind out of the fucking gutter. moreover, I would never kiss someone like nishimura.”

“oh you two go by first name basis, watch him call you Mrs.Nishimura.”

“in your dreams.”

“BABEEE!!!” jisung clings onto Minho’s arms. minho leaves a cute little peck on the boy’s lips.

“ugh you two are disgusting.” you grumbled.

“hyungie, think we should find a boyfriend for (name)? she’s kinda extra spicy today.” jisung says.

“ay fuck you, you’re lucky you’re my brother’s boyfriend or else I would have roundhouse your ass a long time ago.”

“hyungie, she scares me.” jisung hides behind minho.

“(name), please don’t scare jisung. Oh and sungie, she just finished an argument with riki and she’s tired from dance practice. just let her live okay?”

“but she needs to release her tension.”

“you and everyone else are the same. I already told you that me and nishimura do not have any sort of tension besides the hatred we have for each other!”

“then if you don't, why don’t you go out and find a boyfriend? I bet you’d be a hundred percent way more happier.” jisung says.

“I would’ve had a boyfriend if I wasn’t a coward and confessed to heeseung sunbae and if he didn’t have a girlfriend!” you yelled. you froze after saying so.

“you like heeseung?” your brother says.

“minho, please don’t tell him. it’s no use of telling him if he already has a girlfriend.”

“he doesn’t have a girlfriend the last time I checked?” jisung says.

“what?”

“who told you that?” jisung asks.

“ni-ki.”

both minho and jisung shared a knowing look.

“(name), have you ever thought riki might have a crush on you? hence he said heeseung had a girlfriend?”

“what? why would he like me when he fucking hates my guts.”

“look (name), both you and riki are really dense and we hate it. we can tell the both of you like each other.” jisung says.

“you’re talking fucking nonsense, jisung.”

“(name).” minho looks at you.

“just drive me home and then you can go on your little date with jisung.” you shut your brother down. Minho sighs.

“alright, you’re okay with being alone at home with the cats right? mom and dad won’t be home early tonight.”

“are they ever home early?” minho wanted to answer but he couldn’t because it was true, when were they ever home.

he drives you home and drops you off. he rolls down the window.

“how about you order something if you’re hungry or-”

“i’m not going to the nishimura’s.”

“mrs.nishimura is usually home so if you want some home cooked food. I suggest going over.”

“yeah yeah. have fun on your date you two.” you rolled your eyes.

“(name), don’t do anything okay?” minho says.

“like what? have sex? that’s what you two are gonna do.”

“we aren’t-(name)!” jisung blushes.

“just get in the house, dork.” minho says.

“yes, my dear brother.” you bowed and went to open the door.

you entered your home and were instantly swarmed with Minho’s cats.

“doongie, dori where is your sister?” you asked the two cats. dori meows and walks, seems like it was trying to lead you somewhere.

you followed the cat and well you found someone in the backyard petting soongie.

“nishimura riki.” you mumbled under your breath. you watched him smile and pet the tabby cat. it rubs itself on the boy happily, tail curling in happiness.

why did he look so cute? wait-

the boy senses a presence looking at him and as such, he looks up. you stay frozen in your spot. he stands up and opens your back door.

“had fun staring (name).” ni-ki smirks.

“fuck off.”

“how cute, got you all flustered huh.” he teases.

“very funny. why would you get me flustered, nishimura.” you rolled your eyes.

“well, lee. if a good looking guy like me enters someone’s home and they are alone…why wouldn’t any girl get flustered?”

“that just makes you a pervert.” you bite back. ni-ki scoffs.

“fair enough. anyways, I’m here cause my mom told me to call you and your brother over but seeing as to how he left with his boyfriend…you’re home alone.”

“I can handle being home alone myself. I’m not a baby.”

“you wouldn’t be saying that when you were 13.” you gave the boy a sharp glare.

“I told you to not talk about when we were 13. also, can you stop bringing up the past? the past where you hurt me?”

“when did I ever hurt you?” ni-ki says.

“when we fucking broke up.”

“we were young, we both made mistakes. there is nothing for you to dwell over the past we had.” ni-ki rolls his eyes.

“you’re right. I shouldn’t dwell over it but I can’t stop these feelings.” a tear falls. “get out. you’ve already hurt me enough and you’ve lied to me a lot. there is no point of us seeing each other anymore.”

[flashback, 4 years ago]

both you and ni-ki were young and very much in love. no one knew you two dated, everyone only assumed you two were best friends. not even your family or his. which was weird considering the amount of time you two spent together, guess no one really cared.

he was popular with everyone and you were decently acquainted with everyone. there were tons of sneaky dates at the library and maybe cute little pecks here and there. they were innocent of course. that’s how your love was, an innocent puppy love.

but you wanted something more…serious. you sincerely loved ni-ki. you wanted it to continue in the future years and you even thought about marrying him. you were too in love with him. however, ni-ki just wanted something casual. he was too immature and young to think about getting in a serious relationship.

so he has never admitted he loved you. yeah, he confessed but he hasn’t said ‘I love you’. one day, you had confronted him.

“I love you, ni-ki.” you say.

the boy sits there stunned.

“love? don’t normally people who are in a serious relationship say that?” he questions.

“are we not in a serious relationship?” you asked. the boy laughs.

“why would we be? we are young. I still haven’t grown a beard!”

“so you don’t love me?”

“I like you but that doesn’t mean I realise that I want to truly like you with my full heart.”

“oh.”

“I still have many other girls after me, you don’t have to be the only girl I like. besides, we are also best friends. it’s kinda weird still.” he says.

“let’s break up.” you say not looking up at ni-ki.

“okay.” you looked up at him. how could he so casually say that? “i’ve been meaning to start dating aria from our class anyways. think I should ask her out now?”

no remorse whatsoever. that’s when your hatred grew for him.

“go ahead and fucking date her. I’m not your girlfriend anymore and neither am I your best friend anymore.” you threw the necklace. the necklace signified your friendship of 3 years. it was a matching one with ni-ki’s but since you two were officially not friends anymore you gave it back to him.

“what? we can still be friends (name).”

“not with someone who broke my heart.” you say. you cried on the way home. that night, minho had comforted you despite not knowing what happened.

he vowed to hurt the person who hurt you but up till now…he didn’t know it was ni-ki. the person he trusted the most.

[present time]

ni-ki knows you were crying. he remembers the day you had broken up with him. he was stupid he knows. which was why…he vowed to get you back and never let you go again.

but he can’t. he doesn’t know how to. the only thing he was good at was breaking your heart. he was bad at love and he was also afraid. which was why he couldn’t bring himself to hold you close.

he leaves your home. never to come back even though he really wanted to.

the boy enters his home, his mother eyeing his slumped shoulders.

“what happened? why isn’t (name) with you? she’s supposed to have dinner with us. also where is minho?”

“she’s not going to come. minho hyung is out with his boyfriend.”

“what do you mean she’s not coming. it’s dangerous for her to be alone in the house. go watch over her.”

“mom, she’s turning 17 and she’s pretty much independent. I don’t need to watch her.” ni-ki huffs.

“did you two have a fight? riki, sweetie you need to be less assertive. (name) is a sweet girl, you need to be gentle with her.”

“mom, can I please just get to my room?” Mrs.Nishimura sighs.

“fine, I'll just go over then. dinner is on the dining table, have some before you go playing your video games all night as per usual.” ni-ki hums. his mother going over to your home.

you hear a small knock at your door and went to open it. Mrs.Nishimura pulls you into a hug.

“did ni-ki hurt you again (name)? if so, I’m so sorry for my son’s behaviour. I have no idea why he is like this when the both of you were so close in the past.”

she quickly checks up on your face. it was obvious you had just finished crying, she sighs.

“I am so sorry this happened (name).”

“it’s fine Mrs.Nishimura.”

“no, it’s not. he is my son. you two were friends and out of nowhere you two just stopped being friends. I should have prevented it, I should have seen it coming.”

“it’s not your fault Mrs.Nishimura. it was ours, we-” should you really tell her? both you and Mrs.Nishimura were really close. even back then when you were younger.

“what happened sweetheart?”

“we used to date.” Mrs.Nishimura gasps.

“oh my, what did my son do to you?” she asks.

“we were too young, we didn’t know about love. well, mostly ni-ki. I wanted it to be sort of serious but ni-ki didn’t. he said something along the lines of me not being the only one he might fall in love with and there was no guarantee that he might still like me. I broke up with him and he was okay with it. I-” you start to choke up, “I love him.”

this stunned Mrs.Nishimura. she never thought this would happen. she knew it was hard for you and how much you’ve gone through with the heartbreak. she holds you close as you cried on her shoulder.

“oh sweetheart, I’m so sorry this happened to you. I didn’t know you two were once lovers. while I’m happy that you two did date, whatever my son did is not right.” she says to comfort you.

once you’ve calmed down, she caresses your cheek.

“how about you have dinner okay? it will make you feel better and if you’d like, we can chat some more and talk about what happened.”

“thank you, Mrs.Nishimura.”

“oh sweetheart, you can call me aunty. only if you’re comfortable of course.”

“thank you aunty.” she smiles before pointing to the thermal bag.

“go eat sweetie, I need to run back to my house to give my son a big scolding.” she says before she steps away. you held onto her wrist and she turns back to you.

“aunty, can you please not tell him? I don’t want him to find out that you know about our past relationship.”

“of course, sweetheart. in that case, I’ll just grab something for you instead. a sweet treat or something.” she smiles at you before she leaves.

you sighed. at least you didn’t have to lie to Mrs.Nishimura about why you and ni-ki fell out of the close bond.

the next day, you were walking to your class when ni-ki pulls you somewhere secluded. well not so secluded, it was just an empty classroom. the moment he stopped, you pulled your hands away from him, giving him the scariest glare you could do.

“what do you want?”

“my mom.”

did Mrs.Nishimura tell him?

“she knows about us.” ah so she did.

“and what about it? what we had was in the past, why do you care if she knows?”

“because she’s my mom (name). she was never supposed to find out about us.”

“you’ve always wanted to keep us a secret. have you ever thought about telling her or your dad eventually?”

“never.” ni-ki says

“oh wow, how selfish of you. i can't believe you. this is why we broke up. you never thought of being in a serious relationship with me, you never wanted to show me off and you wanted me to be a secret. I never wanted to be your sneaky link.”

“who said you were my sneaky link? (name), I liked you.”

“oh really? remember all those dates we had? hidden, kept away, that’s all i was. then with what you said after we broke up? you wanted to date another girl after I literally just ended the relationship. do you ever have remorse? was I ever someone important to you?”

“of course (name). you have always been the most important to me.”

“cut with the bullshit, riki. If you had ever liked me, you should have stopped me from breaking up with you but you didn’t. you left me to cry for days, get sick and made me hate myself for so long. do you know how hurt i was? i genuinely thought i’d die from crying so much. and why? because i loved you. that’s how much i liked your stupid ass and now i’ve sort of moved on from you, you stop me from getting the happiness i deserve? why are you toying with my feelings?”

by now, tears were already flowing across your cheeks. the silence was deafening and you just wanted to leave, and so you tried to but not without ni-ki pulling on your wrist and pulling you into a hug. you don’t even register he was hugging you until you feel your shoulders getting wet. ni-ki was crying, he let his walls down.

“i’m so fucking sorry.” ni-ki whispers. you tried to push him away but he only holds onto you tighter. “please, don’t leave me.” he whispers again.

you stood there frozen, you let ni-ki cry on your shoulders. you were already late to class so a few more minutes with ni-ki wouldn’t hurt or it possibly could. you feel small pecks on your neck, something ni-ki did in the past while he was cuddling with you. he freezes and lets you go.

“i-i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have overstepped your boundaries. we aren’t dating anymore and you have feelings for someone else now. i should respect that. i should go.” ni-ki leaves the room.

your heart still longed for him no matter if he hurt you multiple times, you wanted him to be selfish for once and realise that he is worthy of you.

“nishimura riki, you have once again hurt me.” you couldn’t cry anymore even if you wanted to, you just went to class.

after school, you went to the dance studio. heeseung obviously knows you weren’t okay so he stops you from continuing the routine.

“hey, are you okay?”

“yeah, i’m fine.”

“(name). you know you can always trust me.” you breathed in.

“heeseung oppa, i like you.” heeseung’s eyes widened.

“oh, (name). umm, i’m sorry but i don’t see you like that.” he says trying to let you down in the most gentle way possible. you felt like crying and not because of heeseung but because of ni-ki. a tear slips out and heeseung panics.

“h-hey, i’m sorry. you don’t have to cry.” he wipes the tears falling. you laughed while trying to wipe the falling tears.

“it’s okay, i’m not crying because of the rejection.”

“oh, then what’s wrong?”

“ni-ki.” you say. heeseung tilts his head, you told him what happened. he was a little shocked to find out the reason why you two were enemies in the first place.

“(name), i think you should be upfront with him. tell him how you really feel, how much you still like him. ni-ki hasn’t dated anyone else and we have been wondering why. he never talks about why so we thought something happened, we never thought you were the reason why.”

“you make me sound so evil.”

“(name), you know that’s not what i mean.” heeseung huffs. you giggled.

“i know.” you hear the door crack open and followed by a slap on the arm and complaints. heeseung facepalms.

“boys.” heeseung says. they pile out. “how long have you been standing there for?”

“since (name) confessed to you.” jake says. sunghoon slaps the boy’s arm.

“curse you for being painfully truthful.” sunghoon whines.

jake shrugs, “well, i am not going to just lie about it.”

“we were eavesdropping, that’s equally as bad as lying.” jay says. jake pouts.

“well all of you know why me and ni-ki hate each other. even you minho.” you say. minho walks out from behind sunghoon, awkwardly laughing.

“sorry, (name). anyways, doesn’t that mean the reason why you cried so much when you were thirteen-”

“was because ni-ki and i broke up. yes, that’s why i cried so much.”

“oh my baby sister.” minho goes to hug you and you pushed him away. “I’m so sorry your heart got broken by a pubescent 13 year old boy.” you smacked his arm.

“god why did i have to have you as my brother.” you groaned.

“you love me (name).” minho says.

“yeah, unfortunately.” minho huffs at your words.

“okay so how are we going to get ni-ki to confess to you again.” jake says.

“jake there is no point. that boy is stubborn.” you say.

“you’re right, you should date me instead.” sunghoon says.

“dude, now is not the time to say this!” jay says.

“I was kidding. I mean, i’m park sunghoon. i’m sure, anyone would love to date me.” minho high-fives sunghoon.

“that’s my fav boy.” he says. you scoffed.

“let’s just drop this.” you grabbed your things and left the studio. minho runs after you.

“(name). come on, you have a whole team who are more than prepared to give you that cute high school relationship!”

“minho, i already said to drop it. I really don’t want to go through this whole problem over a boy who doesn’t like me.”

“are you sure he doesn’t like you, (name)?”

at minho’s words, your mind replays what happened earlier in the classroom.

“don’t leave me, please.”

ni-ki cried. he was never one to show his feelings. that was his most vulnerable state that you’ve seen him in.

“yes, he doesn’t like me.” you say. you weren’t sure yourself.

“you’re denying it. i can see it in your eyes. you know something that we don’t.”

“minho, i just really don’t want to talk about this anymore. I’m tired.” you say. minho takes note of the painful tone you had. your voice wavered.

“alright, i’ll stop. you should go home.” you nod at his words and went home. minho sighs and goes back to where the others were.

“hyung, how did it go?”

“nothing much. i think it’s best if we ask ni-ki. the both of them used to date each other, clearly they still like each other.” minho says.

“jungwon, do you know where ni-ki’s class is?”

“of course, follow me.”

however, when they went to find ni-ki he was nowhere to be found. they decided to visit his home. as for you, as you were about to open the door. you could hear mewls coming from inside, you were worried about the cats so you went in. you noticed the cats surrounding ni-ki as he cries.

“why are you here and also you practically broke into my house.”

ni-ki was alarmed, “i’m sorry. i just walked in here aimlessly. my house is also locked and i don’t have the keys.”

“don’t you have classes in afternoon?”

“I didn’t go.”

“oh.”

ni-ki shivers. you went towards and placed a hand on his forehead. you sighed.

“you’re having a fever. come on, how about you go take a warm shower and then lay in the guest bedroom. i’ll grab some medicine from the cabinet.” you went to walk away but ni-ki grabs your wrist.

“don’t leave me, please.” he weakly says.

“I won’t, i’ll be here in the house while you go bathe. i need to grab clothes for you too.” ni-ki nods. he stands up to go to the bathroom. you left him a towel outside the door and clothes on the bed. you shut the bedroom door.

why were you suddenly taking care of ni-ki? he was the one who hurt you constantly and here you were. you shouldn’t be doing this. your heart aches. you decided to make him some warm honey water and grab the medicine from the cabinet. maybe you should make him a little something to eat, you weren’t sure if he even ate lunch. how did he even get sick in the first place?

you decided to make him a sandwich since it was the only easy thing you were able to prepare. you knocked on the door with a tray in your other hand. you heard ni-ki mutter ‘come in’ so you entered. you nearly froze in your steps when you noticed the hoodie he had on. it was the hoodie you had gifted him with while you were dating, it fit just nice since ni-ki had grown quite a lot.

the boy tries to dry his hair with the towel you handed him with. you placed down the tray onto the nightstand before grabbing the towel and helping him dry his hair. it was an unconscious gesture since you used to help ni-ki dry his hair after he finished bathing. he stays quiet. once you were done, you looked down at him. he was looking up at you and you looked away.

“i made something for you to eat before you have your medicine. there’s honey water too in case your throat is soar. I’ll be in my room-”

“stay, please.” he voices out.

“I have to study.”

“then study here. i need you, please.”

your heart races. you sighed.

“fine, i’ll grab my things and study here.” ni-ki nods and you go to grab your study materials and notes. you came back and placed your materials on the ground.

“you can do the work on the bed.”

“with you on the bed? i’m not your friend, nishimura.”

“i’m sick and you are technically responsible for me.”

“i am not responsible for you-”

“you saw me and helped me. this means you are responsible for me.”

“what are you? five?”

“you used to care for me when we were dating.”

“please stop bringing up the past.”

“the past that i miss.” ni-ki says. You froze.

“don’t lie to me. you never missed me. you only wanted to fool around.”

“I regret saying that.”

“well too bad, nishimura. we broke up. that’s it, that was the end of us.”

“it doesn’t have to end, (name).”

“if i gave you another chance, you’d just throw it away again.”

“i wouldn’t.”

“ni-ki.” you say.

“(name), i really really love you.”

what was this sick joke he was playing.

“i used to look forward to hearing you say that but now it just seems like a joke to me. you don’t have to put pity on me. i know i was desperate back when we were young. i just really liked you so much.”

“i am not joking with you, (name).”

“prove it then. if you love me so much.”

“I’m sick, (name).”

“well, that sucks then-” ni-ki leans in and kisses you. your eyes widened, you could feel his lips moving against yours. this was really passionate but soft. ni-ki has never kissed you like this before. your eyes flutter shut and you kissed him back.

ni-ki sighs into the kiss, his hands reaches up to your cheek to hold it. he tilts his head to slightly deepen the kiss. one that shows how much he treasured you and how sorry he felt for hurting you. you pulled away.

“i love you.” he says it once again.

“ni-ki, we can’t make this official.”

“i know. i’ve hurt you a bunch of times. we’ll take it slow.” you nod.

“i need to trust you first. i can’t bring myself to just forgive you.”

“alright. can i at least hold you?”

you nod before climbing into the bed. he wraps his arms around your waist. the both of you laid down on the bed. it was a little awkward but ni-ki still felt at ease knowing he was able to hold you.

A year later, you were in your bedroom playing games with ni-ki. he attempts to sabotage you in mario kart.

“yah, ni-ki!”

“too bad, babe!” he sticks out his tongue.

“hey! you guys started the game without us!” jake huffs. both you and ni-ki smirked at each other.

“we started first because i wanted to play a round with my girlfriend.”

“urgh, i am not over this. it’s been 5 months since you two started dating and you’re already pulling the ‘couple’ card.” jay says.

“oh, it’s been 5 months?” you say.

“5 months with my beautiful girl.” ni-ki squeezes you and pecks your cheek.

jungwon gags at the sight, “I liked it better when they fought.”

“i have to agree with that.” minho says.

“young love.” heeseung shrugs.

“let’s back out of the game so they can play, ni-ki.” you pat his arm.

“okay.”

“IM PLAYING AS PRINCESS PEACH!” sunoo yells.

in the end, you got your happy ending.

with the same boy who hurt you.

nishimura riki.

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salty-an-disco · 3 months

Note

Hey bud! If you had to give your favorite voice a favorite movie, what would it be? And would their matching vessel like or dislike it?

I know this wasn’t the assigned task, but I couldn’t resist–

Here’s me headcanoing a fave film for every single voice and their respective princess’ opnion on it–

Hero: Shrek 2. No it is NOT just because of the Holding Out For a Hero scene, tho that is a very nice scene that always makes him start bouncing on his seat the moment it starts playing. It isn’t Default Princess’ favorite (she prefers Shrek 1), but she still appreciates the satire and subversion of common fairy tale tropes and the exploration of Shrek’s character here.

Contrarian: The Emperor’s New Groove. It’s memeable, it’s funny, it has such iconic characters, what else could he ask for? Stranger likes what they saw of it well enough, but they can’t really bring themselves to focus on a movie for the entirety of it. Would rather be doing something that requires them to be proactive.

Cheated: Fight Club. I haven’t watched Fight Club myself, but from what I hear from it, sounds like something Cheated might enjoy. Razor isn’t allowed anywhere near a TV.

Cold: Inside Out. Am I projecting? Yes. Do I care? Absolutely not. She watches Inside Out over and over again, imagining those little emotion guys as some of its friend, and getting a weird tight feeling in its chest when the control panel starts going gray because of Riley’s increasingly depressive state. Spectre likes the movie :)

Paranoid: Paranorman (I didn’t realize how similar those names are, but holy shit that’s funny), she finds Norman’s struggles to fit in and being seen as a ‘weirdo’ relatable and finds the way he’s fascinated with horror weirdly compelling. Both the fact it’s a stop-motion movie, and that it’s ‘children’s horror’ helps Paranoid feel safe watching it, and she doesn’t even jerks her arms once! Nightmare finds the zombies funny and gets… weirdly emotional during reveal at the end.

Hunted: The Lion King. It’s pretty, it’s colorful, the scenery and characters makes it feel at home, and it’s really compelled by the lion hamlet storyline. Beast tries to paw at every animal on screen and starts howling sadly when Mufasa dies.

Opportunist: Says it’s The Devil Wears Prada, but actually, it’s Legally Blond. The musical, specifically. Constantly has ‘Gay or European?’ playing in his head. Witch also loves The Legally Blond musical and is constantly grumpy that it’s also Oppy’s favorite.

Stubborn: Kung Fu Panda. It has FIGHTS, it has a panda struggle to become stronger, it has a compelling emotional core, he loves that shit! Adversary prefers John Wick, personally, but she’s also cheering for that white leopard guy every time he’s on screen (yeah, she knows he’s the villain, so what?).

Broken: Winnie the Pooh. It’s comforting and so nice to watch! It always makes them feel better. Tower doesn’t concern herself with this kind of leisure.

Smitten: The Princess Bride. Do I need to explain this one? Damsel also likes it, though she prefers Enchanted; especially the animated bits, she finds animation much more compelling than live action. :D

Skeptic: Knives Out. The mystery is compelling, the characters are engaging, and the set design! Skeptic could spend hours dissecting every frame of this movie and he did. Prisoner thought the culprit was too easy to figure out.

Extras–

Long Quiet is very fond of the Rio movie, while Shifty really likes Everything, Everywhere, All at Once (she’s also fond of The Lego Movie :))

#slay the princess #stp voices #stp princess #< uuuuurrrrggghhh. not tagging all of them #stp headcanons #sal rambles #mailbox

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signanothername · 8 months

Note

Exploring character dynamics: Blades

Blades and Heatwave: Very Older Brother, little brother dynamic. They would die for each other and brag about it later. They would also definitely roughhouse if Blades didn’t any know better. Also Blades trying so hard to imitate HW in part 2 of double villainy. He wanted to be a good leader too

Blades and Chase: Autisim vs ADHD if robots. They balance each other out perfectly. Just put them together and I’m already smiling cause I know I’ll have a good time. “What’s sooner than immediately?” “I have no idea”

Blades and Boulder: ADHD vs AuADHD. These two are a menace. They always do the craziest things together. I’m honestly surprised the writers didn’t exploit that more. These idiots kidnapped a lion. I love them. I’m also pretty sure that Boulder learned a lot about first aid from Blades since more often than not he’s the one acting doctor.

Blades and Graham: Their episode together makes me so soft 😭 They’re their both the “weakest” members of their active teams and can sometimes overlook how essential they are “At least they found you… that’s important”

Blades and Kade: Imma be 100% honest, I don’t think Blades could take much of Kade, him considering Mr. Pettypaws a better partner says it all. He wouldn’t get angry, just more and more annoyed and sassy.

Blades and Cody: Watching the show, I noticed that Heatwave and Boulder are closer to Cody, while Blades and Chase dare closer to their partners. Still though, this bot was fresh on earth, dealing with the fact that he would have to fly despite his fears and still said “For Cody”.

Blades and Chief: Dad and son. He was so exited to be paired up with the chief, adorable.

Blades and Dani: HSKEBSKA THESE TWO HOLY SHIT!!! Sassy as all can be. Big sister - little brother, man you can feel the love in this relationship. Dare I say it’s the most develop? Like, it doesn’t grow the same way Heatwave and Kade do, but you can feel this closeness. Blades is extremely protective of Dani and Dani is so encouraging of Blades, even when she considers something his doing as silly she’s there for him 🥹 ARGH, when she left for her space mission and he had to transform and didn’t get to say a proper goodbye, that shot of him as a helicopter just there, when she cried the moment she heard his voice 😭😭. How they’re very verbal about their affection and bring the better out of each other (Dani becomes kinder and Blades is always developing his skills) I love them so much. They’re gonna be great leaders in China and I WISH WE GOT TO SEE THAT.

AAAAA THANK YOU FOR THIS ANON THIS IS BEAUTIFUL 😭❤️❤️❤️🌷✨

Allow me to share my thoughts as well :D

Blades and Heatwave: I agreeeeeee!!!! I feel like Blades looks up to Heatwave and admires his skills, and i wholeheartedly believe he tries his best to make Heatwave proud, something he doesn’t actually need to do, cause Heatwave is already proud of him, HW just never says it outright, but you see it in how protective HW is of Blades and how he’d actually do the things Blades ask him to

Heatwave is protective of all his team, but he’s even extra protective of Blades, their relationship reminds me of the lil bro who gets bullied but keeps it a secert only for the older bro to find out and go beat the shit outta the bullies, getting hurt in the process

You know for a fact HW has been in so many fights just to protect Blades, he probably fought people just for looking Blades the wrong way <3333

Blades definitely imitates HW sometimes, probably without actually realizing it chchhc, that one episode of him trying to act hardcore and slaming his fist on his palm only to go “ow” is so adorable and i wholeheartedly believe he’s trying to act how Heatwave does

The leader role kinda doesn’t fit Blades, cause he doesn’t know how to act when pressured which the leader role is full of, it’s a role with so much responsibility tied to it, not to mention Blades is more of a free spirit, putting him under a restrictive role can inhibit his outta the box thinking and creativity, and that’s why in part i believe he tried to imitate HW, cause HW is an amazing leader and Blades doesn’t exactly know how to lead, so he goes for the next best option, imitating his own great leader <3

That obviously doesn’t mean Blades can’t lead, in fact I wholeheartedly believe he can and would be really great at it, he only needs a bit of time to find his own footing, to find himself in the role and to adapt to it, he’d definitely be a lot more carefree as a leader, a leader who makes his team always feel safe to approach him with any problems they may have and it’s heartwarming to think about :D

I think the fact Blades can adapt to so many things no matter what life throws at him is his greatest strength, so you can imagine my joy when Blades is assigned leader to his own rescue team in China <333

———

Blades and Chase: YOU GET ITTTTTT!!!!!!! Their characters balance so well for a variety of reasons cause you have Blades, who’s always anxious and thinks of the worst scenarios that could happen with Chase who’s always calm and thinks logically, which means Chase is the best candidate when it comes to helping Blades deal with his anxiety

Meanwhile you have Blades who understands social situations and innuendos and is very invested in pop culture and you have Chase who literally could never grasp social situations and innuendos for the life of him, and isn’t very good at learning the culture he is in at all, so you have Blades sometimes filling that gap

Their personalities contrast so much and that contrast is what i love the most about their relationship!

Also can I talk about how much I adore how they always take care of each other??? There’s a reason I like to believe these two are Amica Endura!!!! They look out for each other and you can tell they’re really close, they always help each other out and it’s always so damn heartwarming <3333

✨Adhd and Autism solidarity✨

———

Blades and Boulder: NO LITERALLY WISH THE SHOW EXPLORED THEIR DYNAMIC MORE!!

They have a lot in common both are artists, one who loves to paint the other loves to make signs and decorations, both love to explore the world, one through learning about the culture and nature, the other through pioneering, and both are very chaotic, these two probably love to go on adventures together sometimes

And as you said, the fact Boulder knows first aid?? He probably got Blades to teach him, i feel like Blades actually tries to let Boulder teach him about engineering too, kinda like listening to each other interests, but the boredom is infinite and his adhd brain can never allow it gugujgvjvj, it probably goes with Boulder talking for hours only for Blades to admit he didn’t get any of it, Boulder completely understands and is happy Blades gives him a chance to ramble regardless <3333

Hope you don’t mind but- *snatches the AuADHD Boulder headcanon* it’s mine now :)

Also can I talk about the fact Blades is good at dancing and Boulder loves dancing but his size doesn’t help? I like to think these two have dancing sessions sometimes!!

———

Blades and Graham: AAAH SO REAL!!!! Y’know I love how they have that in common, it makes a great connection point for the two

Blades and Graham aren’t physically strong, but that’s not where their worth or importance lies, Graham’s strength is his brain and his knowledge in engineering, he literally saved the lives of the entire island multiple times due to his input, whether by stopping his family from doing something that could potentially be a disaster or finding the source of what is causing problems to begin with (like finding the source of the earthquakes that were happening because of the speaker in “shake up”

Blades is agile and fast, really light on his feet and while all that’s good this is not what makes him important, what truly counts is his quick thinking and his amazing sense of the situation, he’s creative and that’s important in a rescue team where rescues always take an unexpected turn, his loyalty to the team is boundless and he always does what’s needed of him even when it’s completely outta his expertise, and this might seem strange to say, but his anxiety is actually a good thing, cause he sometimes does bring up really good points, his anxiety make him think of how a scenario can go wrong in so many directions that the team wouldn’t usually think about and asks them out loud, making the team stop and think, and that’s also really important

So when Graham and Blades don’t really realize how their existence is so damn important it hurts my heart, cause their perception of themselves isn’t the best, they think they aren’t as important which isn’t true at all

They both think low of themselves when they fail and it hurts to see cause everyone fails from time to time and that’s ok

I adore these two ughhh 😭❤️🌷✨

———

Blades and Kade: TELL ME ABOUT IT CHICCJJV

Like the mere idea of being partners with Kade was completely outta the question for Blades

HW’s and Kade’s personalities clash head on and that’s actually why their dynamic works, an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object, therefore canceling each other

And it’s honestly kinda funny considering how similar HW and Kade are, they obviously differ in some things, but overall their similarities exceed their differences

Yet we see that Blades is very comfortable dealing with HW, but wouldn’t be comfortable dealing with Kade, and i like to believe it’s in part cause Blades can’t handle really intense people like HW and Kade, but can adapt to them if given time, which Blades did have a really long time to adapt to HW but not so much time to adapt to Kade, so dealing with Kade seems like a nightmare, but we see he does consider it when Kade gives a really good idea only for HW to tell him to “think again”

Overall, I think it would’ve been amazing had we gotten an episode in which Blades and Kade worked together, it would’ve probably been a fave hcchchch

———

Blades and cody: oooh that’s a nice note, I didn’t really notice that!! Tho i’d say Blades definitely loves Cody and loves to spend time with him, “Virtual disaster” is definitely one of my favorite episodes, and I ADORE Blades’ and Cody’s dynamic in that episode

I feel like Cody and Blades get along so well, and Blades definitely acts like an older bro to Cody

Not to mention Cody seems the best at calming Blades when he’s upset, get his mind off the thing that upset him, like when Dani leaves for her pilot testing and Cody tells him “come on, let’s find enough paint for your sign” and we see how that immediately makes Blades feel a bit better :D

Cody seems to understand that Blades is driven by his emotions and that’s what he focuses on when interacting with Blades, and tbh that’s something I feel like Cody and Blades have in common, they both got really big emotions that require someone to acknowledge, and that’s why Cody always acknowledges Blades’ feelings and vice versa

———

Blades and Charlie: I don’t have much to add to what you already said cause that’s literally it hcchchchvjcj

But i’d love to talk about how Charlie seems to entertain Blades’ desires and child like wonder, gives him a chance to explore his world in his own way and helps him live the role <33

Charlie is an amazing dad, both to his biological and Cybertronian kids <333

———

Blades and Dani: OH MY FUCKING GOD THEYRE MY FAVORITE PAIR OF PARTNERS!!! And i agree! I think they’re the most developed!

I think Blades’s and Dani’s relationship is the most complex, Dani loves flying, Blades doesn’t, Dani is a risk taker, Blades has saftey as a priority

Their personalities are quite the opposite of each other, but that’s why they work! Blades teaches Dani patience and kindness and Dani teaches Blades to open up more and accept the danger that comes with his work

Their love for each other is literally radiating through space and time zhhxhdh

You can tell Blades becomes really attached to Dani, the episode where Dani goes to space is proof of it, Blades becoming upset at the idea of her leaving is so damn heartbreaking him going “I hate when she leaves” literally tore my heart in two

But what truly gets to me is that by the end of the episode when they have the talk Dani promised? He says “I hope you get it” he’s so supportive of her no matter how much it hurts him or how much he hates the idea of separating

AND I AGREEEE I WISH WE GOT TO SEE THEIR JOURNEY 😭❤️🌷✨

Goddammit I really wanna say more but know when you love something to the point it’s genuinely hard to put into words??? That’s me with Blades’ and Dani’s relationship they’re SO DAMN ADORABLE AND ID DIE FOR THEM

And since words betrayed me here’s one of my favorite scene of them just HSHSHSJHZHSJSJSJSHHSKAKS

———

Damn this got way longer than what I meant for it, hope you enjoyed regardless dhhdhd

#thanks for coming to my ted talk #anothers ask #ano saves asks #rescue bots

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wisteria-lodge · 2 months

Text

badger primary + rapid fire/actor bird secondary

Hi! I’ve passively loved this system for a couple of years now but it’s only now that I’ve discovered that you actually do real people sorts! Anyway, I am pretty sure of being a Snake primary, but I’ll have you be the judge of that.

My Dad is a double Snake, however, my Mum I think is a Badger/Lion and this obviously creates a lot of conflict between them. I really care about both of them and though me & dad understand each other better on a fundamental level, he can also be quite a harsh and manipulative person (he has the typical Snake secondary thing where he tells you whatever you want to hear until you get close to him or he’s exhausted enough to let the masks drop, and at that point he becomes quite harsh, which my Badger/Lion mum does NOT like, and she especially doesn’t like how “fake” he is), and my Mum always reacted very negatively to my behaving like him.

A Double Snake and and Badger Lion could easily have periods of looking very similar, and very in sync, and then just… circumstances change and they couldn’t be more different. That’s a tricky one to navigate. So you’ve got a bit of cultural negativity surrounding Snake secondary, noted.

So I kind of spent most of my life feeling torn because the two people I cared about the most had very opposing expectations of my personality

Definitely getting inklings of a Loyalist primary (Badger or Snake.)

my Mum’s love in particular felt very conditional even though she was always very supportive of all my intellectual endeavors.

I spent the first 18-ish years of my life with “saying whatever I need to get what I want” as my primary strategy in life

Definitely sounds quite Snake secondary (sounds a lot like your Dad’s Snake.)

and constructing a “cool, popular girl” personality that would give me enough social capital to get whatever I want.

Oooh, have we got some Bird secondary going on? Because this sounds like it could be Actor Bird. The very conscious way you went about building “Cool, Popular Girl” (even using words like “constructing”) and fact that this persona has a name, probably had a costume, and is purpose-built for a specific environment, not a specific person... sounds very Bird.

What I wanted, though, wasn’t anything particularly ambitious: I’m very conflict averse so I made shit up to avoid conflict.

I associate this with Snake and Bird, the two “I move” secondaries. They’re water, flowing around obstacles. Lions and oddly Badgers are far more likely to pick fights.

I wanted to be have strong “ride or die” friendships with people I could protect and who could protect me in turn (I first wrote “group of friends” but I now realize that I kind of struggle with groups of people - I just never have the feeling of being part of a group, just having ties with individual people, so I guess I want to be part of a group in the sense of having ties of affection and loyalty with several people who also have them with each other).

This is such heavily Snake primary-coded language, that I’m kinda wondering if that’s on purpose, and you’re looking for a specific answer from me… :)

However, because what I got from my mum and, quite honestly, the media I liked was basically “my personality=villain.” I tended to seek out other people perceived as “villains” as some way because I felt that they would accept me more easily.

I wish it weren’t the case, but you’re right, that’s a common thing. Especially if you’re a Double Snake or a Snake Bird, which I think are your two most likely sortings right now.

I also really hated people who treated their friends badly or arrogantly and tended to bully them

I mean that’s the human thing, but it’s definitely something that would bother a Loyalist (Snake or Badger primary) a LOT.

there was this one swotty girl who was constantly looking down at her friends and treating them badly, and I just decided to make her life living hell because I was so morally affronted by it.

I’d love to know exactly what your strategies were, because that would tell me a lot about your secondary. But there does seem to be a suggestion that there was a Mean-Girls-stye *plan* here, which kind of makes me think Bird.

Another friend also abandoned us and found another friend group where everyone was basically in love with him and he was using them for attention seeking purposes and I also reacted to this quite harshly.

“Abandon” is a very dramatic word to describe a friend [entering a slight fuckboy phase?] and switching friend groups.

The thing is, I also tended to abandon some people, which doesn’t clash well a Snake primary, I guess? One of my HS friend groups were really quite asshole-ish, and I ended up ditching them, but that was because I felt like they were treating other close people (of theirs, not mine) badly?

Okay. So here’s what I think is going on. You’re a Badger. Hear me out.

Yes, I think that your Badger looked like a Snake for a good long while. But you’re close to your Dad, and your Dad’s a Snake, and young Badgers will do that, look like authority figures or beloved people in their community. It really hurts you that your parents are not a united unit, not a community. A Snake would have an easier time just having separate relationships with each of them, even if they didn’t get along. Same thing with your friend that switched friend groups. That’s a very Badger way of looking at the situation. The Snake thing would be, well - he’s your friend, and it doesn’t really matter what group he’s him. But a Badger would want him to stay in the better group, the group that was better for him.

You hate it when people mistreat their group. You hate bullies (Captain America style.) That’s all Badger. You also talk about multiple, conflicting groups of friends, and that whole “Cool Popular Girl” - I mean, it’s not exclusive to Badger primaries, bit it is definitely a very common way for High School Badger primaries to present.

I had also decided to start taking school and stuff more seriously and I just kind of felt like their affection would be conditional on my bad bitch persona, got scared and ran? It was a long time ago, I don’t really remember.

This is Bird secondary thing. Getting “suck” in a persona, and worrying that people only like you / you only have value because of it.

The turnpoint came when I met my first serious boyfriend, who is definitely a Snake secondary but I’m honestly not sure if he’s a Snake or a Bird primary.

The so far elaborately constructed web of lies and reputation building that was my life led to the downfall of our relationship, because it combined with some external circumstances made trust difficult

You have a complicated relationship with Snake secondaries, but you yourself are a Bird. “Construction,” “reputation building,” the web metaphor… it sounds like a Bird. That’s just not how Snake secondaries think.

what I somehow got out of it was a deep fear of betrayal and abandonment

and possibly Burned your primary a little bit (probably another reason you’re picking Snake for yourself, Burnt Badgers look like Snakes.

and the impression that if I wanted people to love me and stay by my side, I should be very open about who I am (so that I’m sure that it’s me that they’re loyal to and not their personal image of me), and just try to be the kind of kind, morally upstanding person that people couldn’t fault for anything.

These are two mutually exclusive goals. If you’re totally honest and open about who you are (the Lion secondary thing) - then you will absolutely ruffle some feathers and rub people the wrong way. It’s a totally different approach than being the “kind [person] that people couldn’t fault for anything.” (Which is more of a badger thing.)

Forcing myself to act like this led to a plethora of mental health issues because being very open about who I am is just… not who I am?

You also just set yourself for failure. There is literally no way you could have achieved what you set out to achieve. And how is “forcing” yourself to act a certain way more open and genuine? It sounds like you built a Badger secondary model out of fear, and just sat in it for a while.

And it was very anxiety-inducing for me. Even now, when my mental health is much better and I’ve settled into who I am, I like showing off my playfulness and wit and keeping the rest of my personality behind a neutrally charming mask.

And that’s… good? Normal? That’s also very Bird. Just have a charming, Badger-flavored ‘customer service’ face that you wear as you go through the world. Go into Neutral when you feel comfortable. (Birds go into Neutral very much like Snakes do, but the change usually isn’t as dramatic.)

Also, my success until that point was based on a lot of improvisation and quick thinking, and while I kept that to a point, it also always led to a bunch of moral panic because in my head, being this kind of person is what gets you abandoned.

Rapid-Fire Bird. There’s a little bit of your Bird coming through here, in that you want a foundation, you don’t want to just do the Snake thing.

Anyway, I was a psychology major (I always liked understanding how people tick and how to get them to see or do what you want them to without having to explicitly argue with them or convince them)

Very Bird.

but I felt alienated with the “bleeding heart helping profession!!” people around me.

I am not at all surprised that the profession skews Badger secondary, and that it did not feel at all good being around all those Badger secondaries... when you’ve got such a messy relationship with your Badger model.

I eventually settled for doing research on children growing up in harsh circumstances who develop externalizing symptoms, but it was just because throughout my life I met a lot of people like that and a lot of my close people are “misunderstood” because they sometimes behave harshly due to their harsh upbringings, so I wanted to vindicate them in a way, as well as vindicate myself because I cared about explaining why people sometimes act less than morally and yet can still be loyal and worthy of love and not automatically “bad people”.

I love this for you. It seems like this would just fit into your primary so nicely. You’ve got a category of people, who are your people and you’re going to vindicate them, and protect them - especially from other people seeking to dehumanize them. It’s so Badger, but in that lovely universal way.

In the meanwhile, I kind of developed a Badger primary model, I guess, in that I do dedicate a lot of my time to helping people

… or you were a Badger all along…

and being kind and open and inviting

yeah, that has absolutely nothing to do with being a Badger primary. I’m serious. That’s just your neutrally-charming mask.

but whenever this is put to the test my Snake loyalties always always come first.

I honestly haven’t seen this so far. The only individuals you’ve talked about are your parents (who bothered you by not being a group, your fuckboy friend (who left the group) and your first boyfriend, who you broke up with.

And I also still always get morally outraged when people are disloyal to their close ones or treat them badly,

This your primary talking. (your why, what gets you out of bed in the morning)

whereas the general kindness and the work I put in towards making sure the world is a kinder, fairer place is just something that I do, no emotional attachment to it, and I don’t expect other people to do it at all.

This is your badger secondary model talking. (how you go about doing things, how you present to the world.) Both Badger, yes. EXTREMELY different.

I honestly don’t think a lot about morality, aside from the generic “be kind and try not to fuck people over unless you really have to”

I mean, you did just say. “I also still always get morally outraged when people are disloyal to their close ones or treat them badly.” I think you just must not consider that sort of thing… really morality, in some way. But Badgers get their morality from their group. Their highest moral good is to make sure the group is doing okay. It doesn’t have to be more complicated than that.

rationally constructing a system of morality or trying to arrive at some kind of internal hunch both feel kind of empty to me?

Because you’re not a Bird or Lion primary? Of course it does.

Now, as for the secondary, my knee jerk reaction is to say Bird because I’m in research, and ever since childhood I’ve always been a very logical person. I’ve eventually learned to be quite systemic in my problem solving process because I need it for research, but what I like about this career is the problem solving aspect of it, like you have a goal (for example, an effective psychosocial information or the acquisition of a certain kind of information) and you have to figure out how to get to that information. Basically the most efficient way of getting from A to B.

I make sure to be systemic and thorough and analytical because it’s the most surefire way to get things right in my line of work, but I also take pleasure in kind of categorizing and putting information in order, and connecting it along different lines. I also really care about proper methodology and not half-assing things to get the results that you want, because I think that the results that you want are the results that are accurate and useful in the real world, not the ones that make you look better.

Wait, am I a double Snake?

Okay, now you’ve got ME worried - I must have really screwed up explaining something, because how can you write something THAT bird secondary, love systems as much as you do… and arrive at the conclusion that you’re a Snake?

What I know for sure is that I absolutely do not identify with “knowledge for knowledge’s sake”, but I do have a really broad criteria for what “useful knowledge” is because I’m capable of thinking quite abstractly, so I can see the utility of almost anything.

That is very, very, very Bird. I’m starting to see the problem though. “Knowledge for knowledge’s sake” is an older phrase that owes more to the parent system than I would like, but it does essentially mean “no knowledge is wasted, the most useful way to solve problems is to preemptively hoard knowledge.”

What I am really also passionate about is presenting things in the right way. I love writing, and I love public speaking, because I get to put myself in the other person’s shoes, imagine how they will “receive” what I’m saying and then tailor my presentation or short story or whatever to lead them to the conclusion that I want them to reach. But I dislike manipulating people with this: the conclusions that I want them to reach are the ones that I personally consider accurate, not the ones that benefit me.

First thing, you sound like an absolutely incredible person, and by pretty much any metric you want to use, a *good* person. (And no, that’s not because the way you’ve written this is manipulating me. This is my little game, I’m good at it.)

What I can tell you that tailoring a presentation to an audience - that’s just a Rapid-Fire Bird who knows their stuff doing trick-shots, and I bet it’s beautiful to see. You are delivering information in a way that the audience can properly take in, because you know both your audience and your information well enough to do that, and that is incredible.

My knee-jerk reaction is always to improvise, but I feel like this makes me come off as a “fake” person if I change my mind on what I said later (I change my mind A LOT), so I try not to say what sounds good in the moment because it will bite me in the ass later and lead to a reputation of a flaky, fake person, I guess?

Not 100% sure what you mean here. Changing your mind… is just a personality trait, it doesn’t really have to do with why you do things or how you do them. I think you would call tailoring your presentations improvisation, and I really wouldn’t. It’s not improvisation, it’s just looks like improvisation because you’ve come up with a hundred different ways to say this thing, and then on the day you can pick the one that works the best. If you had to do the same thing, but not in your preferred subject matter/environment, it would be basically impossible.

But I also really pride myself on my logical and thorough assessments of situations, and I tend to like thinking things through when I get the chance for it, often postponing decisions until I’ve thought about all the eventual longterm consequences of all the courses of action I might take.

Bird.

What trips me up is my trauma-induced fixation with being “honest” and avoiding “lies”, which are more about their eventual inefficacy and worthlessness and less about their moral rightness or wrongness (and also because manipulative=bad, as my Mum spent all of my life saying). My line of thinking is, “Things built on lies or self-delusion always crash down and burn, and it is right that they do so that more stable and honest things can take place”

What are you building on lies? If anyone’s work has a solid foundation, it’s yours. And as we’ve previously discussed, even IF you were doing your mom’s brash Lion secondary thing, wouldn’t that be in a lie in itself, because it’s not your natural presentation, it’s something you need to force yourself to do?

but I also kind of use it to do shady shit - like I don’t feel morally wrong in hitting up a man in a relationship, because if he really cares about his woman the only person who’ll get burned is me and if he doesn’t I saved her the trouble of wasting more of her time on him?

This is actually a really interesting aside, because it’s you telling me how you handle a moral issue (that makes it a Primary thing.)

Is it wrong to hit on a married man? Your answer is No: either you get turned down because he’s staying faithful, and that’s your own personal risk, or he cheats, in which case he’s kind of … dehumanizing himself? And therefore you are doing his partner a favor because she can now get rid of this unhealthy member of her community. There’s a logic there, and it’s a kind of ruthless Badger primary logic.

So not sure if Snake or Badger secondary?

Bird.

P.S. After some self-reflection, I realized that I’m probably not a Bird secondary

I’m listening.

because I really hate following plans and situations where I have to rely on concrete skills and not abstract problem solving terrify me. OTOH I am very proud of my general ability to assess a situation and act appropriately.

Not sure how you’re distinguishing between “concrete skills” and “abstract problem solving.” From what you’ve been telling me, it sounds like you need the concrete skills before you can do the abstract problem solving, as in they work together.

I’m also known as the person who changes PowerPoint slides in the middle of a conference based on whoever’s speaking before her and adapting her speech accordingly, which freaks the shit out of my coworkers, so I guess any “planning” type is probably out for old me

That’s the most Rapid Fire Bird thing I ever heard. You made a plan. The PowerPoint and the speech exist. You’re just adapting them on the fly, based on previously-existing knowledge. I’m starting to think that you’re one of those Bird secondaries who is SUCH a loud Bird secondary, that it can be hard to get your head the idea that your skills are skills, and not sort of neutral abilities that everyone has.

my latent distaste towards being a Snake secondary is my burny oppressive bullshit against anything that’s not “stalwart honesty and consistency” that I’ve been imposing on myself for years.

which I really wish you didn’t feel like you had to.

Because I do love winging it and just saying whatever’s the most situationally appropriate thing regardless of how much it reflects me and I’ve just been treating any kind of play acting like a recovering alcoholic treats drink so I no longer even remember how it feels anymore lol.

I hope you find a way to play with your Actor Bird, at some point. One more little thing before I sign off though - thinking of actions as “situationally appropriate” is a very Actor Bird secondary thing to do. Snakes don’t go that big. Snakes think - what response do I want from this person, in this moment, and how do I get it? They also constantly reset. Snake secondaries have this “seducer” reputation because they generally are better one-on-one, or in small groups. Even Snake secondary actors will talk about the way they perceive the whole audience as one “person” … it’s all very interesting, but a very different way of approaching the world than the way you do.

#submission #shc #sortinghatchats #badger bird #badger primary #burnt badger primary #bird secondary #bird secondary vs snake secondary #actor bird #rapid fire bird #wisteria sorts #sortme

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