JJ: How do you want your coffee?
Emily: Black, like my soul.
JJ:
JJ: Emily, honey, your soul is a latte.
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*the bau’s annual psych eval season*
the doctor: a hypothetical scenario for you. you pull a car over for speeding and find out it’s your son. how do you handle the situation?
emily: well first i’d be like.. sergio!? what the fuck!? you can drive???
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"Girls without boyfriends how's life?"
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Emily: You’re in trouble again.
Y/n, looking Emily dead in the eyes defiantly: drink. cranberry. juice.
Emily: Not urine trouble. You’re in-
Emily: You know what, please just leave my office.
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Emily: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.
Hotch: Wasn’t Derek with you?
Derek: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.
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Emily:
JJ:
Emily: one time in church I accidentally opened my eyes during prayer and I saw Jesus doing the worm
Tara:
Emily: my mother didn’t believe me
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Emily: what if I told you none of it was accidental
JJ: and the first night that you saw me
Penelope: nothing was gonna stop me
Hotch *yelling into the bullpen through his open door*: Girls. How many times have I told you. PLEASE STOP SINGING TAYLOR SWIFT AT WORK!!
Penelope: oh boss man, you know the lyrics! Sing with me!
Hotch grumpily singing: I laid the groundwork and then just like clockwork
Derek joining in: the dominoes cascaded in a line
Rossi: you people drive me crazy sometimes
Spencer: agreed.
Penelope: cmon sing it boys!
All of them together: what if I told you I’m a mastermind!
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criminal minds where everything is the same except:
1. spencer Actually Died in georgia
2. it's all in minecraft.
emily, walking into the cabin: oh no!
*minecraft exp noises*
emily: he slept on the jet. he'll be fine.
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kidnapper: i have your child
hotch: which one i have five
kidnapper: the annoying one who won't shut the fuck up
hotch:
hotch: which one i have five
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Derek: are you the big spoon or the little spoon?
Emily: i'm the knife
Jj: *from across the room* she's the little spoon
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Derek: you don’t look depressed
Emily: oh i’m sorry i must have forgotten my storm cloud today
JJ: no put it in the wash. it was getting pretty dirty but don’t worry it’ll be good as new soon
Emily: this is why i love you
Emily, mouthing to Derek: suck it!
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emily: i like to keep my whole life lowkey and let people assume incorrectly
also emily: *fakes her murder*
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*the BAU team noticing Y/n and Spencer Reid*
Emily: hey- Derek. look at how close they’re standing.
Garcia: they’re practically breathing the same oxygen.
Derek scoffs: that kid’s got nerve. yesterday he literally took a whole step away from me when I stood too close to him- went on about something like germs in the air or whatever.
Garcia: yeah, well, my love, you are not Y/n.
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emily: *wakes up in hospital after battle with ian doyle*
hotch and jj:
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Reid: You have to learn to love yourself.
Emily: Don't you like, hate yourself ?
Reid: Yes, but we're talking about you, focus.
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