#incorrect emily prentiss quotes

[milfsincrime]

*the bau’s annual psych eval season*

the doctor: a hypothetical scenario for you. you pull a car over for speeding and find out it’s your son. how do you handle the situation?

emily: well first i’d be like.. sergio!? what the fuck!? you can drive???

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[whoisspence]

kidnapper: i have your child

hotch: which one i have five

kidnapper: the annoying one who won't shut the fuck up

hotch:

hotch: which one i have five

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[patrickispinky]

Derek: are you the big spoon or the little spoon?

Emily: i'm the knife

Jj: *from across the room* she's the little spoon

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[spencestiel-michelle]

*the BAU team noticing Y/n and Spencer Reid*

Emily: hey- Derek. look at how close they’re standing. 

Garcia: they’re practically breathing the same oxygen. 

Derek scoffs: that kid’s got nerve. yesterday he literally took a whole step away from me when I stood too close to him- went on about something like germs in the air or whatever. 

Garcia: yeah, well, my love, you are not Y/n. 

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[lilliejareau]

emily: *wakes up in hospital after battle with ian doyle*

hotch and jj:

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[demonicbaby666]

Emily: [flips monopoly board over] Hotch: Prentiss! Emily: This is why your wife is dead Reid: Emily! Emily: This is why your girlfriend is dead Morgan: Emily: This is why you’re bald Morgan: I DIDNT SAY SHIT!

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[starch1ldz]

Y/n, walking into the bullpen from the kitchenette with a cup of coffee: see the problem is, Elmo wants to go home, but Elmo can't because he has another fourty minutes! Elmo's gonna sue.

Emily, laughing: are you quoting sesame street right now?

Y/n: yes, and you would be too if you had to deal with Morgan for the last two days.

Spencer: He's been particularly insufferable this week.

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[criminal-mindsincorrect]

JJ : An apple a day keeps the doctor away

Emily : Slowly bites into an apple while menacingly looking at Reid

Reid :

Reid : Emily what the fuck

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[incorrect-ralvez]

Derek, at Emily's funeral: I need a moment with her.

Everyone: Of course.

Derek, leaning over Emily′s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not dead.

Emily: No comment

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[amybaulover]

Hotch: Why is Emily curled up in a ball on the floor sobbing?

Reid: She’s drunk.

Hotch: And?

Derek: And she heard that JJ is married.

Hotch: ...

Hotch: We’re literally at their wedding reception right now.

Penelope, sighing: We know.

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[reidsbabi]

my favorite underrated duo :,) i miss them <3

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[milfsincrime]

emily: i may not have six friends to carry my casket, but i do have a penelope who will flirt with six men to do it for her

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[amandasmoviess]

Y/N: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?

Emily: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies

Penelope: Socks are Feetie Heaties

JJ: Forks are Stabby Grabbies

Spencer: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties

Derek: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies

Y/N: Stamps are Lickie Stickies

Hotch: *annoyed* You’re all disappointments

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[criminalmindsfanantic]

The Team hiding in a dark laundry room

Derek: Who else is hiding in here trying to listen to Mom and Dad’s convo?

Penelope: Me. I'm in the laundry basket.

JJ: I'm in the washing machine.

Reid: I’m in the dryer.

Emily: I'm in the closet.

Penelope: We accept you Emily. <3

Emily: No I'm literally in the closet.

Penelope: Love is love. <3

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[spencestiel-michelle]

Emily: Reid? why are you on the floor? 

Reid, murmurs into the floor: i can’t see or hear my problems from here. 

Emily: i… well, shit. make room for me. 

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[lilliejareau]

Emily: I don't know who needs to hear this, but reading book after book to escape reality is not a-

Spencer: You watch your fucking mouth.

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