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#incorrect emily prentiss quotes
milfsincrime · 1 year
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*the bau’s annual psych eval season*
the doctor: a hypothetical scenario for you. you pull a car over for speeding and find out it’s your son. how do you handle the situation?
emily: well first i’d be like.. sergio!? what the fuck!? you can drive???
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whoisspence · 4 months
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kidnapper: i have your child
hotch: which one i have five
kidnapper: the annoying one who won't shut the fuck up
hotch:
hotch: which one i have five
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patrickispinky · 7 months
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Derek: are you the big spoon or the little spoon?
Emily: i'm the knife
Jj: *from across the room* she's the little spoon
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spencestiel-michelle · 2 months
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*the BAU team noticing Y/n and Spencer Reid*
Emily: hey- Derek. look at how close they’re standing. 
Garcia: they’re practically breathing the same oxygen. 
Derek scoffs: that kid’s got nerve. yesterday he literally took a whole step away from me when I stood too close to him- went on about something like germs in the air or whatever. 
Garcia: yeah, well, my love, you are not Y/n. 
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lilliejareau · 3 months
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emily: *wakes up in hospital after battle with ian doyle*
hotch and jj:
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demonicbaby666 · 11 months
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Emily: [flips monopoly board over] Hotch: Prentiss! Emily: This is why your wife is dead Reid: Emily! Emily: This is why your girlfriend is dead Morgan: Emily: This is why you’re bald Morgan: I DIDNT SAY SHIT!
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starch1ldz · 2 months
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Y/n, walking into the bullpen from the kitchenette with a cup of coffee: see the problem is, Elmo wants to go home, but Elmo can't because he has another fourty minutes! Elmo's gonna sue.
Emily, laughing: are you quoting sesame street right now?
Y/n: yes, and you would be too if you had to deal with Morgan for the last two days.
Spencer: He's been particularly insufferable this week.
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JJ : An apple a day keeps the doctor away
Emily : Slowly bites into an apple while menacingly looking at Reid
Reid :
Reid : Emily what the fuck
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incorrect-ralvez · 2 months
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Derek, at Emily's funeral: I need a moment with her.
Everyone: Of course.
Derek, leaning over Emily′s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not dead.
Emily: No comment
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amybaulover · 7 months
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Hotch: Why is Emily curled up in a ball on the floor sobbing?
Reid: She’s drunk.
Hotch: And?
Derek: And she heard that JJ is married.
Hotch: ...
Hotch: We’re literally at their wedding reception right now.
Penelope, sighing: We know.
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reidsbabi · 3 months
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my favorite underrated duo :,) i miss them <3
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milfsincrime · 1 year
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emily: i may not have six friends to carry my casket, but i do have a penelope who will flirt with six men to do it for her
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amandasmoviess · 1 year
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Y/N: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?
Emily: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies
Penelope: Socks are Feetie Heaties
JJ: Forks are Stabby Grabbies
Spencer: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties
Derek: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies
Y/N: Stamps are Lickie Stickies
Hotch: *annoyed* You’re all disappointments
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criminalmindsfanantic · 7 months
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The Team hiding in a dark laundry room
Derek: Who else is hiding in here trying to listen to Mom and Dad’s convo?
Penelope: Me. I'm in the laundry basket.
JJ: I'm in the washing machine.
Reid: I’m in the dryer.
Emily: I'm in the closet.
Penelope: We accept you Emily. <3
Emily: No I'm literally in the closet.
Penelope: Love is love. <3
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spencestiel-michelle · 5 months
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Emily: Reid? why are you on the floor? 
Reid, murmurs into the floor: i can’t see or hear my problems from here. 
Emily: i… well, shit. make room for me. 
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lilliejareau · 1 year
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Emily: I don't know who needs to hear this, but reading book after book to escape reality is not a-
Spencer: You watch your fucking mouth.
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