#eggshell parenting

[fitgothgirl]

screaming, crying, throwing up...

saw some article about "eggshell parenting" which apparently is a term this psychologist termed herself. i went to her tiktok and searched the tag #eggshellparent and there are so many videos, omfg... they all just feel like bomb drops. (this is Dr. Kim Sage btw)

"the sound of tires in the driveway, slamming cabinets, sudden loud sounds" aahhhhhhhh.....

i wanted to also include a video that isn't just text on the screen, but can't figure out how to embed it so here's a link. more stuff about how hypervigilance presents in adults after childhood trauma. but honestly i can just get lost on her page or just anything under #eggshellparent. just going down the rabbit hole right now...

my post the other day was about my dad and my ex, but my mom has BPD and messed me up with this kind of stuff too but in a completely different way. that was more overt though; only in recent years have i been coming to terms with how bad things were with my dad too.

#i ALWAYS have the uneasy feeling of being in trouble no matter the situation 🙃 #childhood trauma #i hate even calling it childhood trauma. like so many people had it so much worse and it was nothing physical #ugh idk #hypervigilance #eggshell parenting #dr. kim sage psychologist #chronic hypervigilance #toxic hypervigilance #cptsd #(i don't have cptsd but this stuff is super applicable) #mine

[pissmoon]

Oh of course my exs i watched midsommar with entire analysis of dani as a character was that she was 'annoying'. Uh I mean did I feel held by him

#her bpd sister decided to take her parents with her as she offed herself n she was still walking around eggshells so her piece of shit bf #doesnt think she's needy or isnt inconvenienced in any way i know you dont get it #the cultists were the only people to make her feel any sense of community and emotional support #its ironic he showed me this movie

[grymmdark]

eaaughhhhh siblings are so hard to have sometimes.....

#grymms spectacular fucking posts #my sister is an incredibly frustrating person to live with #she spends all day either at her computer playing games or in her bed #she has back and knee pain that makes it so she cant bend over plus general chronic pain so she doesn't do a whole lotta chores. which i get #but she also complains about our parents not doing enough to take care of the house. like they both have fulltime jobs and have to take care #of 2 disabled kids. it's not fair to expect that they can also regularly do chores ontop of that #and if she spent her time putting in a bit more of her fair share of housework then I'd be a bitmore understanding but she doesn't do that #much. like i have chronic pain and i go to school 5 days a week and i do more chores than her #and she's an incredibly stubborn and emotional person who will flip out at anything and so i feel like im walking in eggshells talking to he #r #one time i was upset and said that if our parents went to jail for me skipping school I'd just dumpstedive for food and she said she didnt #wanna do that and i said she didnt have to. and she took me saying that as saying i wanted her to starve and didnt talk to me for a month #like if i cant even say something small and stupid when im upset and she's the one whose egging me on by saying stuff while im upset then #what can i even say around her aughhhh #anyways i know that shit like this is why i have a therapist but there's genuinely nothing i can do about this because she is the problem #and she's the one who isn't doing anything and aughhhhhh she makes my life so much harder just by being around #and i love her i want her to get better and move out for her own good but it's so hard to love someone who is nothing but a burden who #refuses to be responsible

[gramarobin]

More things that resonate with me today. Yes to all of the below, which is why I have a therapist.

#parents #moody #eggshells #critical #childhood #childhood memories #be careful #fear #never good enough #nervous system #disregulation #touchy #sensitive #always on guard

[void-tiger]

…my dream is still to have 2+ cats, let Merlin finally be nearly cage-free when I’m around and fully embrace being a funky lil guy, a rabbit, large cage/aviary of finches, and a pair of budgies.

All in my own place made cozy with curtains and blankets and cushions and suncatchers scattering prismatic rainbows and smelling like a well-used spice rack and hot drinks and cozy foods. Please come visit me. Coo at my pets. Drink hot cocoa and tea and virgin mulled cider while playing games or watching movies while snuggled under a pile of softness and no less than one critter with me.

#tiger’s musings #…fuck it. we’re gonna go further into student debt y’all #and yeet ourselves at IDK working for a nonprophit as a music coordinator or SOMETHING to get it waved off after a decade #I can’t stand being isolated and dependent on walking on eggshells around temperamental introverts who don’t even let me call this Home #to MAYBE have people invited over as Their Idea #…I need control over my own living situation. and people around MY age and/or lifestage… #(and like. I still plan on having books and toys for Tinies. but also. probably Different Tinies or my LD Friends’ kiddos) #(I…no longer really wish to associate with the parents’ of the kiddos around here #(I don’t feel like I can trust them. also I’m ace and bi with online friends of all rainbow stripes and they’ll never respect that #(and they’ll never take accountability for how they treated someone else as a result

[cat-eye-nebula]

What is Eggshell parenting | by Dr Kim Sage, licensed psychologist

These parents are the source of safety but also the source of fear for the child(ren). They can be fun and protective but also frightening, yelling, have unpredictable mood swings, make you feel guilty, gaslight you, destroy or take away your posessions, parentify you/their child (= child had to play the adult role and listen to the parents problems). This often causes disorganized or anxious attachment style in the child.

Dr Sage also give tips for healing and to go from a disorganized attachment or more secure attachment.

#child abuse #attachment styles #functional alcoholic #drug abuse #psychology #education #Youtube #self compassion #self healing #eggshell #parenting #gaslighting #parentification #disorganized attachment #secure attachment #dr kim sage #trauma healing #self awareness #self improvement #emotional #childhood #isolation #silent treatment #relationship #trauma response

[cozylychee]

lol these days i have to choose my words carefully around my parents or else it'll lead to a conversation that either makes me feel sad or angry.

#it just sucks #my relationship w my parents could definitely be worse but it's also Shit #my mom has this idea that she knows who i really am but it's just her own way of trying to control me into adulthood #meanwhile i have to walk on eggshells around my dad or else i'll get a verbal and sometimes physical barrage over something stupid #like ik my situation isn't normal but other ppl have it worse so i feel like i don't even have the right to be upset

[zibiscusloon]

What was knifekid’s MOTHER like?

Think of her like this: She’s Mother Gothel with a medical degree.

She has a rather large boisterous persona, however it’s simply used to cover up her rather manipulative behavior.

Unlike her husband who relies mainly on intimidation and scare tactics, Mrs. Scal relies mainly on mental and emotional abuse and is a big time gaslighter.

#my art #oc #oc art #cuphead #cuphead oc #cuphead show #the cuphead show #disaster utensils #Knifekid was honestly walking on eggshells anytime he was around his parents.. #saying or doing what they deem as wrong brought hell to pay #while his dad’s moods were easier to read Knifekid never really could tell what his mom was thinking

[sanjarka]

oh won't you just shut up for once. no i don't like talking to you. i don't think you're a good person and i can't have a honest conversation with you because every time i say something that you do not agree with you go on a rant about how stupid i am to think that way. i don't respect you, i am afraid of you.

#you should care more about your family you know #you're selfish and spoiled #sure and you're just fucking perfect aren't you #you don't actually care about who i am #you want me to act how you imagined how i should act #every single person in this house has to walk on eggshells whenever you're upset #to mold themselves to be how you want them to be #cause you're a stupid man #and somehow i'm the selfish one #hate that i'm stuck living in this house if they don't give me a dorm this year i'll go crazy #hate that my father's mental illness makes my uncle feel entitled to act like my parent #and a bad one on top of that #actually in comparison to you my dad is fucking awesome #and his bipolar disorder was never the problem #it was his family and the war and the fact that the only free help he can get for an extremely difficult condition #is seeing a doctor every five months for five minutes that's going to prescribe him medication #it's not like we can afford a therapist #i wish i could scream or something #personal #venting

[lacnunga]

Ive been so fucking on edge recently that even the smallest unexpected deviation from what i thought j was gonna do has me wanting to scream and/or cry

#i went out yesterday and felt great but as soon as i was on my way home i got so upset #i hate being at home but also all my shit is there yknow #i just want to be on my own and be able to do my washing whenever and use the bathroom whenever and clean the dishes whenever #and eat dinner whenever and buy the groceries i want and not have to walk on eggshells around ppl #bc i dont know whats gonna set them off #but also im saving up for a house bc renting sucks the savings right out of you so staying here is the best option #and im very grateful to my parents for putting up with me but at the same time. i wanna be Gone yknow

[girlscience]

the fact it's been five fucking years and i still sob like a baby any time some character comes out and their parents accept them fucking sucks

#i did not expect to be so tense i started sweating and my jaw started hurting just from watching a silly episode of schitts creek #but here we are. #i do not like coming out stories. they are constantly stressful and i avoid them as much as possible #but i didn't know that's what the episode was going to be and then it was #and like i knew they weren't going to have his parents Not accept him but all the nerves were there #and then he told them and they just told him they loved him and wanted him to be happy #and i started crying #it just fucking sucks. all my friends know. day to day i don't think about it #but like earlier my mom asked if i wanted to do something with her tomorrow and i got nervous #because what if i do the wrong thing. what if i say the wrong thing. what if this is the day she decides i'm too queer and she brings it up #what if this is the time church gets talked about again and i can't hold it in #i have been on eggshells my entire life and i'm so fucking tired of it #i'm scared to even looking into transition. i don't feel like i can even try to date. i can't buy things i want cause what if they see them #what if i do and they stop talking to me. if i don't wait till my grandma dies will she disown me? #will i still get to see my cousins if my family finds out? will i get to go to holidays and birthdays and family dinners if they know? #it would be easier if i didn't care about them or i knew they didn't love me #but i do and i they do and so i'm scared #and i could just get it over with and be done with it and tell everyone #but i don't have a girlfriend and i'm not transitioning so what's the point #it seems stupid to tell them when i'm not changing at all. so why change my relationships with them #i don't know. i'm just fucking tired of it

[dont-look-me-in-the-eye]

well, they had roses and thorns,

and hey, the good times were good;

the bad ones were worse, weren’t they?

they had the fragrance, didn’t it smell so nice?

but god, it hurt bad,

head in the sand

there is blood on my hands

and even a thorn without rose would sting just as much

#me writing poetry to cope with trauma??? Never #it’s not ptsd if the traumatic stress is still happening right #god my brain is so fucked #i don’t even know if i’ll remember half of this shit #ah well it is vot it is #anyways this is just about how my parents will be wonderful and kind and then just be Shitty™️ for no reason #walking on eggshells amirite but they’ll get set off either way #okay to rebagel #vent poem #writing #dark poetry #roses and thorns #even a thorn without rose would sting just as much #shitty parents be like

[nexo-nex]

dealing with an emotionally abusive parent is so exhausting oh my god

#b.txt #vent #im used to this- but at the same time i wish things would change #being alert 24/7 is honestly one of the most mentally exhausting things a person can suffer from #and also walking on eggshells every time you speak anything to said parent 😍😍😍 #im so tired

[fantabulisticity]

If you know someone autistic who has difficulty telling the difference between rhetorical and literal questions, do me and them a favor and don't fucking keep asking if I tell you "that's all the context I have. I don't know anything else." And don't then get pissy when I keep telling you "I don't know" when you KEEP ASKING ME QUESTIONS. IF YOU ASK ME A FUCKING QUESTION THEN I AM GOING TO ANSWER IT. I AM FUCKING DISABLED. I CANNOT TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN RHETORICAL AND LITERAL QUESTIONS ALL THE TIME. IF YOU DON'T CHANGE YOUR TONE OR PHRASING AT ALL BETWEEN A RHETORICAL OR A LITERAL QUESTION THEN YOU ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY DO. NOT. GET TO BE FUCKING PISSY WITH ME WHEN I ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS. LEAVE ME ALONE OR I WILL FUCKING LEAVE. I AM SICK AND TIRED OF THIS SHIT. I AM DISABLED. I AM UNABLE TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE IF YOU DON'T USE VERBAL OR TONAL INDICATORS. IMPLICATIONS FREQUENTLY GO OVER MY HEAD. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT. I AM TRYING MY BEST DURING EVERY SINGLE SOCIAL SITUATION IN EVERY SINGLE PART OF MY LIFE. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXHAUSTING IT IS TO HAVE TO ANALYZE EVERY SINGLE SOCIAL SITUATION YOU ARE EVER IN AT ALL FUCKING TIMES???? LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE.

#allistic parents are fun #my old shitty psych was WRONG. i am NOT just lazy. i am doing my best literally at ALL TIMES. i am UNABLE to navigate every single... #...social situation with perfect ease. i am UN. ABLE. not unwilling. UNABLE. #i have been working on this shit my ENTIRE LIFE. i have been memorizing social cues and analyzing body language and vocal tone my ENTIRE... #...FUCKING LIFE. AND YOU HAVE BEEN THERE FOR BASICALLY *ALL* OF IT. YOU *KNOW* I STILL CAN'T TELL. #YOU ****KNOW**** THIS AND YOU ***STILL*** DON'T CHANGE YOUR FUCKING BEHAVIOR ******EVER******. #I HAVE CHANGED EVERY ASPECT OF EVERY SINGLE BEHAVIOR I HAVE EVER HAD FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE. OVER AND OVER AND OVER. #AND YOU CAN'T CHANGE A FEW LITTLE THINGS TO COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY WITH ME. #I HAVE BEEN MONITORING AND WALKING ON EGGSHELLS AROUND ***YOUR*** MOODY BULLSHIT MY ***ENTIRE*** LIFE *****WHILE***** BEING AUTISTIC. #IT. IS. NOT. MY. FUCKING. JOB. TO MANAGE ******YOUR******EMOTIONS. #YOU. ARE THE PARENT. THIS IS A VERY SIMPLE CONVERSATION. STOP ASKING ME FUCKING RHETORICAL QUESTIONS. #YOU DO ******NOT****** GET TO BE PISSY AT ME FOR BEING AUTISTIC. YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR BEHAVIOR OR TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON OR I CAN LEAVE. #FUCK YOU. #personal #ableism #yelling #yelling tw #caps lock #caps lock tw

[thehealingplum]

I just want a loving family

#thinking aloud #imagine not growing up w divorced parents #imagine not dealing with hearing yelling and fighting #imagine not walking on eggshells around everyone #imagine being able to talk without someone getting mad at whatever you say #constantly listening constantly judging #i cant go back

[dyslexiccherry]

Just messaged 2 girls who are looking for a third roommate at my uni bc i just can’t live with my parents anymore. Like i can’t do it.

#all the passive aggressive fights #walking on eggshells #i was supposed to move with my two best friends last year #but i decided not too #bc i feel like if i leave the house my parents are gonna break up again