#downside: its taking up all my free time so no art no writing

[senselessalchemist]

Baldur's Gate 3 has taken over my life and reminded me I have just the worst taste in fictional men (but truly excellent taste in fictional women)

#not dead cells for once #i will not improve etc etc #bad taste in fictional men good taste in fictional women odd taste in fictional nb people #also at least sometimes bad taste in actual men considering my horrible ex but thats not fun #me trying to make the awful vampire man like me: you asshole. i love you #also its super refreshing to be able to choose nb for the pc and everyone just calls them them and its great #man i wish that would happen in real life im so tired of maams etc. #my pc is a tiefling rogue because fuck it wish fulfillment i want to be a hot masc shaped person with horns and a tail #they are very cute #downside: its taking up all my free time so no art no writing #anyway its fun to have fun with a game like this without my ex running the show #played divinity 1 and 2 partially with them and that wasnt super fun

[jamiedc-they-them]

R&R (Platonic)

Summary: Being the sibling of Carol Danvers has its perks, but also its downsides. One of them being pushed to the side you feel given your normalcy.

An// This story is a sort of vent about job hunting (currently ongoing for paying work. I do have a volunteer writing job which is ace and allows me to write articles about art!!! Genuinely loving it! Just also trying to find paying job for income as well.) and spiralled from there into a story about reconnecting, validation/repression of emotions, the struggles in a capitalist society, and community. Also, in terms of which character to use for this tale, was inspired by a story by @specialagentlokitty who wrote an incredible piece about Carol and Found family! Link for specific story will be here! Enjoy!

Also: This story deals with mentions of queer phobia (very quickly mentioned); mentions of previous alcoholism; and spoilers for “The Marvels”!

Please let me know if I’ve missed anything!

Story under “Keep Reading” which is below the gif!

You knew that finding any job would be hard, especially in a world has turned around as yours. With constant attacks and the whole blip thing, the job market was twisted (even more so) out of shape. There were people in your own boat – well, not totally, in your boat. You see, you had support. You were lucky, genuinely lucky. Carol being a massive part of SHIELD made sure you had some income to keep yourself afloat. It was enough to live and do things.

Still, it was coming up to about six months since your attempt to find a paying job. You had on and off work writing, though most was just for free - you didn’t mind that; built a portfolio after all – as you tried to find work doing anything. That was the hard part. That was also why you hated this system you lived under, but that was a whole other thing.

Your thoughts would spiral like this throughout the day. You’d wake up, send out resumes, do your part of the deal, then relax as much as you could – reading, writing, meeting who you could and when. It was a routine, and you liked routines.

There was one person you wish you could see, however. Carol, your sister. She’d made sure you were looked after in her absence. That absence, however, was one that was ever growing larger and larger. Some days, you swore, you forgot what she sounded like – mistaking hearing her on the street for some stranger instead. It hurt you. Forgetting parts of the only family you had.

There was a knock at your door. Your apartment wasn’t big at all. But, it was home. Or, as close as you could get with your budget. You opened the door, finding the person you wanted to see in front of you, rubbing her arm. She wore more casuals clothes. A white tank top and some jeans that had seen better days. Her expression brightened, however, when she saw you.

“Hey,” she said, voice soft as well as her smile. It felt nice, hearing your sister’s voice again. Though, with her being your sister, you could read her well – just as she could with you – so you knew something was up.

“Hey,” you parroted back, “what’s wrong?”

“Me? Nothing. Nothing,” she lied, “can’t I just visit my sibling?”

Despite knowing it was a lie, you smiled and opened the door up more. She entered your room. She looked around as you shut the door, trying the lock a few times, before finally getting it to work on the fifth attempt.

“SHIELD still helping you out?” Your sister asked as she turned to you, watching as you shook your hand a bit in pain when you accidentally trapped a bit of skin in the lock.

“As much as they can for a civ.”

“Thought they offered you a position?” She asked in confusion.

“They did,” you clarified, “I just didn’t take it.”

“Why not?”

“Just didn’t seem like what I’d wanna do. That’s more your thing.”

“It involves writing,” she said, eyebrows showing the confusion.

“I know it did. I just…it didn’t feel right, you know? You know how I feel about places like that,” you knew Carol did. Sometimes you both just needed a reminder about each other. You with her voice. Her with your beliefs.

She nodded, “I do. That’s fair.”

You still had that nagging feeling that something was wrong, “you wanna go for a walk?” You offered. She was a bit jittery. Arms swinging. Hands coming together, then apart.

Carol nodded, and you saw a part of her be relieved at the mere idea of movement.

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

You both left your apartment. No one really recognised Carol. She was thankful for it. For once, she could just be Carol Danvers and not Captain Marvel. She could just be a normal – as normal as she could be, given everything – human. She could just go on a walk with her sibling.

However, that sibling knew something was wrong. And while she had always advised them to talk about what was bothering them, she was not exactly one to take her own advise always.

“You ok?” She asked, hoping to dodge a sort of bullet of not talking about the whole…Monica thing. Maria was hard enough…this just added to it. At least Kamala and reconnecting with Monica was a bright light and —

“Carol?” Her head shot over to you. You were looking at her with concern now. She wiped at her eyes. No tears, but she could feel them wanting to start pooling.

“All good,” she assured you, “all good.”

“You sure?” you pressed.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m sure,” she threw in a smile – one of the ones she’d give to people you underestimated her when she was a pilot.

You nodded, but the concern didn’t fully leave your eyes.

“What were you saying?” Carol asked.

“Just that I wish I started the look sooner, you know?”

Carol shrugged, “you can’t help how your brain was at the time either. Or…before that. Sorry. Been a while.”

You nodded, a sadness lingering in your gaze – she hated that look. It stung her too, “I know.”

She cleared her throat. This wasn’t going as well as she wanted it too. Not as smoothly. For either Danvers sibling.

“Hey,” she said, nudging you a bit, “how about in there?” She said, pointing to an old bar that wasn’t too far away form your apartment. The walk itself had been about half an hour, silence being there for most of it as you both seemed to sit in your own worlds.

You nodded, “I’m only having one. Then soft from then out.”

“Yeah?”

You nodded, “been working on cutting down.”

“I’m glad,” she was truthful there, “was scaring me a bit.”

You were. You were scaring yourself, and part of her could tell – but she could only truthfully say it as full on scaring her. The amount you were downing drinks wise with her. At the start, it was just social drinking, but that soon lapsed into something else. Something dangerous. She clocked it in your apartment, the lack of beer cans on the floor; and the way your skin looked healthier. You looked healthier. She was glad, honestly. Her sibling was doing, somewhat, better. She was glad that you were.

You entered the bar. It was late in the afternoon, and so a few people were in there already. Some regulars nodded at you, saying that they missed you. You just smiled and made some small talk yourself. Carol smiled at the sight. You had people here. She was glad you did. Your own little extended pool of people. She had them too. Kamala and Monica. It was nice, having them. Only one of them was g-

“What’s your poison?” You asked, looking back at Carol. She saw a twinkle in your eye. Some energy to you now. She knew it was part of your introverted self just being a chameleon, but she also clocked part of it being this establishment.

“Been gone so long I forgot,” she joked, even if it was only a half one.

You nudged her, “normally just go with what I order,” you tease.

She mirrors your smile, “then it’ll be that, then,” she said back in return, nudging you as well.

You went up to order. She sat at a table. She saw the barman give you a look that seemed to hold a warning, before it became a lighter one at something you said to him. He nodded, seemingly pleased, before pouring the drink for you both. Some ale type alcohol. Not her favourite, but maybe it would be with everything she’d tasted on her journey across the universe. She learned valuable lessons about not just sticking her tongue onto things. Both from herself, and Goose.

You came back with the drinks, putting one down in front of her, and sitting opposite her on the small table she had found. It was cozy. Both the atmosphere of the place, and the table itself.

“I missed you,” you said, taking a sip of your drink, looking at Carol for a moment, before back down to the drink; as if the words would anger her in some way.

“I missed you, too,” she said, putting her hand on one of yours after her own sip, “had Fury update me on you as much as I could. Signal was a bit dodgy in a few areas.”

You smiled a bit. You liked Fury. He was a good friend. He seemed a lot happier with this whole SWORD business than he did with SHIELD. Apparently that was in the hands of someone else now. Someone trusted. Something Mackenzie.

“You see anything exciting?” You asked, hoping to keep the conversation going.

Carol thought about it, like genuinely did, “some cool races of people. Most of them friendly. Had some problems with finding the Skrull a home.”

“How come?”

“I –” she paused. It was all coming back to her. The memories. The way she snapped at Kamala. The apology to the prince. The meeting with Valkyrie, a lot of things going unspoken between the two – cheek kiss aside.

“You can tell me,” you said, squeezing the hand that Carol had placed on yours.

She looked at you, eyes glistening a bit, “they lost their home, Y/N.”

You only squeezed your sister’s hand again.

“I had a – a friend come back to help them. Met up with Lieutenant Trouble and a young kid. We — we became a good team.”

You titled your head, glad your sister was being open with you, “her name’s Kamala,” she smiled softly, gripping your hand to try and ground herself, “she’s sweet. Got this cool power. My biggest fan. Seriously, you should’ve seen her room –“

“You were in her room?”

“By accident. We had a thing where our powers would make us swap. Hole in the universe will do that to you.”

“Sure,” you allowed – mind buzzing with ideas for stories already.

Carol clocked it, “ideas for your sequel?”

You narrowed your eyes a bit, trying to figure out how best to break the news to Carol, “sort of.”

“‘Sort of’?”

“Yeah. Sort of still writing the first.”

“Oh. Ok, that’s cool. How’s the writing coming along, other than that?”

You moved your head from side to side, “sometimes I’ll get lucky. Just need to get lucky with a paying job, then I can do more of the writing part, you know?”

Carol nodded, understanding the logic. Find income, then try make the dreams come true – and you had somewhat already, which she was glad of; but she also knew that it would start out this way, small bits to hopefully build up to a full on career that paid.

“That’s fair —“ she then clocked what you had said, “wait…you’re still looking?”

“Job market’s bit of a mess. Trust me, if I could go up into space, find some alien planet where either rent ain’t extortionate; or a place where the creative arts could give you a proper start and was respected by a ruling system and its people, I’d go in an instant.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, squeezing your hand.

You looked at her with confusion, “why are you sorry?”

“I was gone a while. I could’ve helped.”

You shrugged, “you’re a superhero. That comes first.”

Despite no biting tone, she still flinched at the words, “not when it comes to you. Not when it comes to family.”

“I’m not angry at you, C,” you assured.

“I would be.”

“I’m not you.”

“I know.”

You let the silence hang for a minute, taking a drink. Carol beat you on the gulp she took. Seemed her body just processed liquor better than yours.

“Monica’s gone,” she blurted out. She then burped. Then she looked up at the ceiling, “she’s not dead. She’s just…not here right now. The Khan’s helped set me up. I —” she took another large gulp, this time finishing the drink.

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

You took a moment to process what she had said. Your niece was…somewhere else? After just reuniting with Carol as well – you didn’t have a chance to —

“It’s not your fault,” you said to your sister. Your sister looked at you and sniffled, breaking the hand hold and rubbing at her eyes.

“I know,” she said, “I’m just…I’m just sad.”

“That’s understandable,” you validated, “it’s a lot.”

Carol chuckled, “yeah…yeah, it is,” she allowed herself that, before looking at you.

“I’m sorry about your struggle with work,” she said.

You waved her off, “ah, it’s nothing, compared to —”

“No,” she said, using her older sister tone, “no, don’t do that.”

“Well, don’t do that,” you said, nodding your head to her empty beer.

“It’s only one,” she defended.

“Sometimes that’s all it takes.”

“I’m not you,” she didn’t even think about saying that – just as much as she didn’t think that much about touching the surge of energy that brought herself, Kamala, and Monica together.

You flinched a bit. Her face fell at it, “I’m sorry,” she said instantly.

You waved her off, “don’t be. It’s true. You’re not me. I just worry.”

“I can pay —“

“It’s not that, C,” you say, “I’m just…projecting.”

“Can I ask why?”

“Takes my mind off the whole, job hunt, thing.”

Carol nodded. It was why she was gone for so long too, trying to fix – or fixate on – something else to distract from other issues. From other things. In your case, your sister and your worry for beer consumption; for her, freeing the Kree from control, then plunging it into a civil war and dealing with all of that.

You took another gulp from your drink. Your one was nearly done as well.

“You wanna soft drink, or a half?” She asked, getting up, hoping to god her card still worked. Fury had to show her how to work it, so it should work, right?

“Carol, no —“

“Hey,” she put her hands on the table, “you paid for the first round, now it’s my turn, ok?”

You wanted to debate further, but instead found yourself conceding and letting her go to the bar after telling her you wanted a half.

She returned in a small bit, half a pint for you, full one for herself.

“Monica’s trapped in another dimension,” Carol revealed, “there’s no way to get her back; at least, not right now, anyway. Kamala gave me her number, helped me learn how to use a phone.”

You snorted, rubbing your then sore arm after Carol hit it, “I’m serious. How you survive with that stuff, I don’t fully understand.”

“It’s simple —“

“For a human.”

“Take that back.”

“No.”

“Just because you have powers.”

“Could still beat you in wrestling without them.”

“We going back that far?”

“Oh, you bet we are.”

“You cheated later in life.”

“Did not.”

“Did too.”

“Not.”

“Did.”

“You brought in Maria!”

“She was on your side!”

“Yeah, until I started winning.”

“Hey! That’s as her choice.”

“Whatever you say, C.”

You both took a moment to breathe, before you both chuckled. You knew some words were a bit harsher than intended, and the walk down memory lane wasn’t all fun, and yet you chuckled anyway.

“I’m sorry,” Carol said first, “for the ‘human’ comment. You aren’t weak.”

“I’m sorry for bringing up Maria. And for Monica.”

“She asked about you,” she admitted.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Wanted to know how her…pibling?” You nodded at the correct term, “yeah, Kamala explained that one. She’s eager to meet you. Thinks you’re awesome already. Think she’s now a bigger ‘stan’ of you, than me.”

“I have my moments.”

“You have a lot of moments,” she corrected instantly.

You nodded, your brain not being as cold to you as it normally was when you got compliments like that. Still, Carol saw a part of your smile dim a bit as your brain attacked.

“‘Pibling’,” someone across from you scoffed, “what a dumb term.”

“Excuse me?” Carol demanded, looking at them coldly. You just sighed. You were used to this, too. A job interview once ended with someone scoffing at your identity.

The person in question looked at Carol’s challenge, “you heard me, it’s dumb.”

“And this effects you, how?”

“Policing what people say.”

“Ok, you know what —“

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

That person was forced to leave. You and Carol left not long after him. The barman apologised, but checked that you both were ok before you left. Carol let you answer, as it was you the person had an issue with.

You both went back to your apartment. You collapsed on your mattress. It was a decently sized one, meaning Carol too could fall onto it, which she did.

“I’m sorry about that arsehole.”

“I’m used to it.”

“You shouldn’t be, though.”

“Yeah. I know. Glad I didn’t get the job where that happened to me, to be honest.”

“Where was it?”

“Can’t remember now. Drowned in sea of other applications.”

Carol reached out, taking your hand in her own, “you’ll find something. I know you will. I’ll do what I can to help you.”

“It’s fine. I don’t —“

“You don’t need to do this alone. Help isn’t the worst thing in the world. Trust me, I thought being alone would help me fix things. It didn’t.”

“That’s different.”

“How?”

You readjusted yourself, so that Carol and you were facing each other, “that’s the fate of the world. This —”

“Is something highly important in your world. It’s horrible, and I’m sorry it’s not gone the way you wanted it to. But, I’m here, ok? I’ll do what I can.”

You looked at your sister, both thankful for her company, but also worried about her fiery determination and how it could backfire on her, “you know the weight of the world don’t rest on your shoulder’s, right? You can take a break, too.”

Carol sighed, but found herself nodding, “I know,” she conceded, “I’m glad I’m here, with you. Would I be able to maybe have you come with me to the farm? We could work on it together? Maybe something local there can help? Something out of the city.”

You considered it. You were never fully a city person, minus the friends you had here. And you could always visit.

“I’d like that,” you said, squeezing Carol’s hand.

“I’d like that too,” your sister said, smiling brightly.

There was a lot of lost time to make up for. A lot of new people to meet. But, you had each other. That hadn’t changed.

You’d find your way through it. Carol knew you would. Just as she would. You always would.

And, you’d always be there to catch each other when you stumbled.

Always.

PART II

#carol danvers x reader #carol danvers imagine #Carol Danvers x sibling!reader #x sibling!reader #sibling!reader #platonic reader #platonic fic

[drac-onion]

Creative Hobbies (And Other Musings)

I've been thinking about something lately, and I'd like to put my thoughts out there to see if anyone else has felt the same thing. (Warning: Long and ramble-y)

For the last couple weeks, I've been doing a lot of "making things" in my free time. Mostly writing, but also putting down ideas, editing works, and otherwise. A lot of my hobbies are creative, and while that's good, its almost overwhelming. I started a new job a few weeks ago and I can't really think of the last time I actually just sat down and relaxed by playing a game or something in my free time. I do a lot of reading, sure, but whenever I get home from work I tend to idly watch YouTube since that takes significantly less effort. Then, usually by the end of the night, I'll start writing something and then oop, I gotta go to bed now to go to work in the morning.

It's kind of...exhausting, having so many creative hobbies. I edit videos, I do 3D art (although that one's on hiatus until I can upgrade my PC cuz god my workflow is so slow cuz blender just freezes every time I wanna do something), I write, and like...I just wish I could pause my brain and enjoy doing something for the hell of it. My mind is just so busy, and while part of me wishes I could slow it down to enjoy things, another part of me is glad I have outlets for creativity. The one downside is that all my energy goes into these outlets, not really leaving time to just turn my brain off (to a degree) and enjoy something, save for just wasting time on youtube.

I want to create things, first off because I enjoy doing it, but also because I feel like if I can make something that even one other person enjoys, I'll have added value to the world in a tangible way. I love receiving positive comments on my writing (not that I'm simply writing for approval or praise), but sometimes the hustle and bustle of making things just wears me out. If I do turn on a game for a little while, it's something quick and easy to pick up and play or dedicate only a little bit of time to, so I always have the ability to shut it off and get back to whatever I was doing.

I like my hobbies, but I have a habit of turning them into work over time. I like order, I like a schedule, I like consistency. It forces me to always engage in something I enjoy, and maybe even get better at it to become a more rounded individual. But without fail, I will always find myself becoming a slave to my hobbies. A slave to something I started doing to have fun, to express myself, to take what I'm feeling and put it somewhere for others to see. Hideo Kojima often says that 70% of his body is made of movies. Well, 100% of my body is made of my creative pursuits. That doesn't leave a lot for much of anything else. I work, I come home, I work on something, and then I go to sleep. I still enjoy writing, but I'm worried that the same thing will happen where it becomes work. Where it becomes the very thing I tried to escape by engaging in it.

They say to write what you know, but I tend to write what I want. I don't really want to go into detail, because I don't wanna be a sad sack and get all depressing on here, but you know that "depressing" thing I was talking about writing the other day? Well, that's an instance of writing what I know. If you read between the lines, that's where I put myself. If you shift your perspective to the whole of it, it's what I want. I said I didn't want to insert too much of myself into my writing, into my work, but it just happens sometimes.

Fiction is written by people, and people have a lot of experiences. Feeling emotion for fiction isn't CrInGe because "it's not real". It's the result of perspective, emotions, experiences, and that's real.

Sorry, I know I've been a real downer recently, but life has been fucking me raw and its starting to come to a head (oh boy! I can't wait til the holidays for things to get even worse!). Here's hoping I can use this as a force for creativity haha... Seems almost sad to think about; considering my own struggles as inspiration for creativity. But that's just how my brain works, I guess. I live on a roulette wheel of hyperfixations and all I can do is wait for it to stop spinning and start walking in that direction. Whatever my mind wills, I will do. It's the only way to stay sane. If I fell apart and just did nothing, well...I've already been there. Boredom is one step towards madness, and no play makes Drac a dull boy.

So yeah, that's a bit of a ramble for tonight. Hopefully, one day, I can look back on this and laugh.

[optimistpax]

Do you know what order to read the IDW comics in, and/or where to read them all?

I think it kinda depends what interests you about the comics! I haven’t read all the comics (yet) so there might be more comprehensive lists out there depending on what you’re looking for, but here are my opinions on some possible places to get started! The one nice thing about how messy American comics can get is it’s not as important to read them in a particular order.

TLDR: Try starting with either the 2019 comics (Transformers (2019): vol. 1 the world in your eyes) or more than meets the eye (Transformers vol. 1: more than meets the eye). There is a high probability that you will be able to find both at your local library digitally if not in print!

First you’re gonna wanna choose a continuity. I’m assuming you’re probably thinking of the later bits of the 2005 run bc that’s what’s popular here, but I’m gonna talk about both of them just in case!

IDW2 (2019-2022)

IDW2 is the newer of the two IDW continuities. I’m putting it first because it’s shorter and easy to get into since it only started in 2019 and will be wrapping up sometime this summer (2022). You start with Transformers (2019) Vol. 1: The World in Your Eyes and go from there! Straightforward numbered volumes my beloved. There are also beast wars and shattered glass comics that are (will be?) collected in their own volumes if that interests you but they’re separate from the main series.

IDW2 is also easy to get into because all of the main series ebooks (so far) are available on overdrive (the provider for library ebooks) so if you have a library card you can access it through your library’s preferred ebook platform (usually hoopla or libby)!

idw2 has really beautiful art, a large cast of characters, and the plot kicks off with a murder mystery on a previously crime-free cybertron before the war. So if that’s your jam it’s a good place to start with transformers comics!

IDW1 (2005-2019)

IDW1 is a little more complicated to get into due to its longer run time, but there are a couple different built in jumping on points that IDW tried to add for readers who wanted to get into it later but didn’t want to read 200+ issues first.

The most obvious possibility is to read the comics chronologically, starting with Transformers: Infiltration. There are loads of lists online to find out what series comes next! The downside of reading them all chronologically of course is that there are SO MANY comics and the quality varies wildly. Aside from the crossover comics, Infiltration probably has the heaviest influence from the G1 cartoon and the marvel comics in terms of art style in the IDW comics. It’s set on earth jn the middle of the cybertronian war. It’s a little clunky but it’s also kinda fun, so if that’s your jam it might be a good place to start!

Then we get into the comics I haven’t read so I can’t really speak to them, but I think All Hail Megatron was also built in as a possible jumping on point? You would have to find someone who has read more comics than me to figure that out though.

The Last Stand of the Wreckers miniseries works pretty well as a stand-alone story imo so if you’re looking to dip your toes in and are looking for a good, tense War Story that’s a possible place to start as well! It is also available digitally through most libraries and works well as smth optional to read either before or with mtmte to add some context to volume 2!

You can also start with what is afaik the most popular IDW series, More Than Meets the Eye. The first volume starts with the one shot The Death of Optimus Prime (which I would recommend trying to start with if you’re not reading the volumes) and the rest of the series follows the crew of the lost light on their post-war space road trip. The writing is snappy and the art is really nice. Most people start here (myself included) and it’s the best place in IDW1 to start reading imo! As for order you can read all of mtmte, take or leave dark cybertron, and then read Lost Light without too many problems I believe. Lost Light and the first half of mtmte can all also be found digitally in the library!

Mtmte has a sister series Robots in Disguise (which later changes its name to just The Transformers I think?). It happens concurrent to mtmte so if you read the two series at the same time you will have a better idea of what’s going on during the cross over event, but you don’t have to. It’s more of a political drama set on Cybertron as it rebuilds after the war, which isn’t really my jam but it might be yours! There are other series that might be related to this one like Windblade? And Optimus Prime? But hell if know what order they all go in. These series can be found in some libraries but it’s more touch and go. They’re available in the library for the city i go to school in, but not the library for the city I’m from so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And that’s all I’ve got! Hopefully you find this a little bit helpful and I hope you have lots of fun reading transformers comics! I know I sure am :)

#there’s also autocracy but it’s not considered canon and also the book that comes after it (monstrosity) is SUCH a SLOG #so idk if I’d reccomend startinf there but it’s chronologically at the start of the war so like… #narratively there’s nothing stopping you from starting there #and somehow my very very basic knowledge of transformers comics still manages to be complicated and long #anyways I hope this helps! #and that you have fun! having fun is the most important part #thanks for the ask! #optimist.txt

[baphomet-media]

Sword Art Offline - A CrossCode Review

Genre: Adventure Subgenre: Action RPG Developer: Radical Fish Games Publisher: Deck13 Platform(s): PC, Playstation, Switch, Xbox (Reviewed on Xbox Series X) Release Date: July 9th, 2020 Time Played: 60 hours

CrossCode was a game that I knew next to nothing about going in. I heard some faint praise for the title online, but I really had no idea what to expect. The game’s description bills it as a Zelda-like, but offers little else in the way of explanation. The vibrant pixel art environments convinced me to give it a shot. So is CrossCode a success, or is it just a glitch in the system?

Story

In the distant future, humanity has colonized the galaxy. On one remote moon, a company called Instatainment decides to create something unique. They create a one-of-a-kind MMO where the locations in the game are real physical places, and players can log in and explore them using avatars made of something called “instant matter,” a kind of extremely light and insubstantial matter that can be quickly and cheaply conjured up for all sorts of purposes, but cannot meaningfully interact with the physical environment. This MMO is called CrossWorlds, and has become very popular in the world of CrossCode. Despite the fact that the game features an in-universe MMO, CrossCode is in fact an offline, singleplayer game. The different meta layers can be somewhat difficult to explain at times, but I found it to be a novel and interesting setting.

You take control of Lea, a player of CrossWorlds who has seemingly lost her memory. While being aided by man-at-the-keyboard Sergey, she must infiltrate CrossWorlds from the outside and play the game to recover her memories. But all is not what it seems, as a strange flying blue avatar seems to be pursuing Lea.

Along the way, Lea will participate in the game of CrossWorlds alongside other avatars such as the feisty french Emilie (AKA Emilienator), the nerdy Toby (AKA C’tron), the braggadocious Apollo, and many more. Each character has a vibrant design and personality that make them stand out and feel loveable.

The game’s plot is quite intense at times and drips with intrigue, keeping you playing for hours on end. In one of my play sessions, I played the game for over 7 hours in a single sitting, which is a testament to how hooked I was. There are plenty of twists and turns throughout that keep you guessing, and many different layers to ponder over in between sessions. Unfortunately, I feel like the ending falls a touch flat, as it feels like the game just kind of stops and all the conflicts resolve at once, but it’s a small issue.

There is a bad ending to the game, obtainable by missing or failing a single optional story event, but if you’re paying attention and exploring you’ll have no trouble finding it. There is also a DLC epilogue episode that continues from the true ending, but unfortunately this epilogue is not yet available on console at the time of writing. It is currently slated for a ‘Summer 2021’ release, so perhaps I will be able to review it shortly.

I wish there was more I could say about the story because there’s a LOT going on, but unfortunately it would ruin the experience, so you’ll have to discover it for yourself. Suffice it to say that the story kept me intrigued and hungry for more up until the very end. The writing is often witty and funny, and I noticed various references to other series, such as Kingdom Hearts, Gurren Lagann, and Ace Attorney.

Gameplay

CrossCode at its core is a top-down action RPG. Lea has a number of different moves that can assist her in combat, such as melee attacks, ranged attacks, dodging, guarding, and special attacks. Additionally, once you complete the game’s dungeons, Lea will be able to switch into different elemental modes. Each mode has its own stats, special attacks, and affinities, and it pays to be vigilant about which elements are effective against which enemies. Plus, using elemental modes for too long builds up an overheat meter that, when filled, locks Lea out of elemental modes until it depletes. Due to all this complexity, it pays to think on your feet and be conscientious about how you approach fights.

On top of that, there are different consumables that offer timed buffs, different equipment effects which offer different buffs, as well as the Circuit, a skill tree with different trees for each element. Every time Lea levels up, she gains one Circuit Point for each elemental tree to spend on permanent buffs and unlocking special attacks. Some nodes on the circuits require multiple circuit points to unlock, so you’ll have to weigh which nodes to unlock when. All of this combined makes Lea highly configurable, but versatile enough to where you can completely change her build at any time outside of combat.

As you play the game, you will typically have allied characters fighting alongside Lea, which makes tough groups of enemies much more manageable. However, there are many areas which are “instanced” to where Lea must complete challenges alone. These are some of the game’s toughest challenges, and typically involve puzzle solving and/or combat. There are various dungeons around the Playground of CrossWorlds, the in-universe playable area, and most are quite extensive. These are the moments that the game somewhat feels Zelda-like, though really only in that you have to progress through dungeons with various puzzle and combat rooms in order to unlock a new element. Each dungeon adds new mechanics to master, and many dungeons bring back old mechanics from prior dungeons, requiring you to figure out how multiple mechanics work together. I found these sections a ton of fun, even if some of the puzzles were real head-scratchers.

Where would an RPG be without its sidequests? CrossWorlds, and by extension CrossCode, has plenty of sidequests for Lea to undergo to gain experience, money, and items. Most of the quests are your bog-standard fetch quests, but many have the player find new areas, face unique encounters, or even engage in minigames. Fortunately, a lot of the monotony of questing that you’d expect from any other game is mitigated by the fact that you can teleport back to any discovered landmark at any time for free.

As you explore the world, you’ll find yourself engaging in minor platforming. Essentially, areas of the game map are on different elevation tiers, and there are a ton of chests that are locked behind finding out how exactly to manage the elevation to reach a chest on a high ledge, often traveling on high elevation across multiple maps for a single chest. It can be a bit frustrating for people who constantly see chests that are seemingly out of their reach, but I found it fun to hunt them all down. Additionally, using a charged projectile to ricochet off walls and obstacles are quite common. One downside to the platforming is that it can sometimes be difficult to determine the heights of different stage elements at a glance, as the game doesn’t seem to have any sort of visual indication of the different elevations aside from just looking at the relative vertical distance between the floor and the next level. This often causes you to jump into walls or off cliffs during drawn-out platforming sections, which can be frustrating.

Overall, I don’t really agree that CrossCode is a Zelda-like. To me, it’s more like a 2d hack-n-slash without aerial combat. Still, that isn’t a negative, and I feel like CrossCode manages to create something that feels its own and not heavily derivative. I only wish the marketing had played more to its strengths instead of just bragging about how much the game was like Zelda and how many different genres they think they mashed together. I probably would have given the game a shot a lot sooner.

Presentation

The environments of CrossCode are gorgeous, with high detail pixel art that is hard to believe is based on a tileset. The character designs are bold and emotive, and really give you an idea of what each character is about at first sight. The game’s soundtrack is also a banger, with plenty of different tracks in many different instruments. It’s the kind of soundtrack I’d happily listen to outside of the game, and instantly becomes familiar to you.

Conclusion

Aside from a bit of platforming jank and a slightly underwhelming ending, CrossCode is a real gem of a game that anyone who likes RPGs should check out on their platform of choice, and especially if you have Game Pass. This is a game that deserves the same level of cult following as other indie gems such as Celeste and Stardew Valley. I look forward to the coming DLC, and whatever developer Radical Fish cooks up next (hopefully a sequel!)

Score: 9 / 10

#gaming #review #article #crosscode #Radical Fish Games #Deck13

[somegirlsnerdywords2]

Anime i’ve Watched

That begin with a N (Part 2)!

Yep this is how i’m going to bring over all the anime and manga i’ve watched and posted about on the old blog. It’s not so detailed but it will have to do. Anything new I watch or read from this point on will have their own posts.

Net-juu no Susume  (Recovery of an MMO Junkie):

Genres: Game, Comedy, Romance, ONA 

Synopsis:  For the first time since graduating high school, 30-year-old Moriko Morioka is unemployed—and she couldn't be happier. Having quit her long-standing job of over 11 years, Moriko quickly turns to online games to pass her now-plentiful free time, reinventing herself as the handsome and dashing male hero "Hayashi" in the MMO Fruits de Mer. With the pesky societal obligations of the real world out of the way, she blissfully dives headfirst into the realm of the game, where she promptly meets the kind and adorable healer Lily. Befriending each other almost instantly, the two become inseparable just as Moriko herself becomes more and more engrossed in her new "life" as Hayashi. Eventually, Moriko adopts the reclusive lifestyle in its entirety, venturing out from the safety of her apartment only when absolutely necessary. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to Moriko, a timid 28-year-old corporate worker named Yuuta Sakurai has also logged onto Fruits de Mer from the other side of town. Coincidentally bumping into each other at the convenience store one night, both write off their meeting as no more than just another awkward encounter with a stranger—however, fate has more in store for them than they think. [Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 8/10

Finished airing in 2017 with a total of 10 episodes

My Thoughts: The male lead wears glasses! In case that’s something anyone but me cares about... Aside from that I can’t remember much about this one which is never a sign of an amazing anime so it’s up to you friends! Will you watch it or leave it?! 

Nijiiro Days:

Genres: Comedy, Romance, School, TV Short, Shoujo, Slice of Life

Synopsis:  Nijiiro Days follows the colorful lives and romantic relationships of four high school boys—Natsuki Hashiba, a dreamer with delusions of love; Tomoya Matsunaga, a narcissistic playboy who has multiple girlfriends; Keiichi Katakura, a kinky sadist who always carries a whip; and Tsuyoshi Naoe, an otaku who has a cosplaying girlfriend. When his girlfriend unceremoniously dumps him on Christmas Eve, Natsuki breaks down in tears in the middle of the street and is offered tissues by a girl in a Santa Claus suit. He instantly falls in love with this girl, Anna Kobayakawa, who fortunately attends the same school as him. Natsuki's pursuit of Anna should have been simple and uneventful; however, much to his dismay, his nosy friends constantly meddle in his relationship, as they strive to succeed in their own endeavors of love. [Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 8/10

Finished airing in 2016 with a total of 24 episodes. Each episode running about 13 minutes in length. 

My Thoughts: Love the manga, which I keep meaning to finish because it is a completed title... and I should probably finish it before manga gets even harder to find online with the way things are currently going... 

Anywho, the anime! Pretty good. The episodes are about half that of a normal anime but you have a 24 episode count so it’s basically the same as having a 12 episodes run with the usual running time!  I’d watch it is you want more content after the manga, but keep in mind that the anime does not cover the entirety of the manga! 

No Game No Life:

Genres: Game, Adventure, Comedy, Supernatural, Ecchi, Fantasy

Synopsis:  No Game No Life is a surreal comedy that follows Sora and Shiro, shut-in NEET siblings and the online gamer duo behind the legendary username "Blank." They view the real world as just another lousy game; however, a strange e-mail challenging them to a chess match changes everything—the brother and sister are plunged into an otherworldly realm where they meet Tet, the God of Games. The mysterious god welcomes Sora and Shiro to Disboard, a world where all forms of conflict—from petty squabbles to the fate of whole countries—are settled not through war, but by way of high-stake games. This system works thanks to a fundamental rule wherein each party must wager something they deem to be of equal value to the other party's wager. In this strange land where the very idea of humanity is reduced to child's play, the indifferent genius gamer duo of Sora and Shiro have finally found a real reason to keep playing games: to unite the sixteen races of Disboard, defeat Tet, and become the gods of this new, gaming-is-everything world. [Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 7/10

Finished airing in 2014 with a total of 12 episodes. 

My Thoughts: I have a laundry list of things i’m meaning to watch, read or do. Watching the No Game No Life movie on Netflix is one of those things. Anyways! I recall this one being alright, nice art/ animation/ character design and an interesting premise but too short and underdeveloped. One of those animes that may have benefited greatly from a longer run or second season. 

No.6:

Genres: Action, Sci-fi, Mystery, Drama

Synopsis:  Many years ago, after the end of a bloody world war, mankind took shelter in six city-states that were peaceful and perfect... at least on the surface. However, Shion—an elite resident of the city-state No. 6—gained a new perspective on the world he lives in, thanks to a chance encounter with a mysterious boy, Nezumi. Nezumi turned out to be just one of many who lived in the desolate wasteland beyond the walls of the supposed utopia. But despite knowing that the other boy was a fugitive, Shion decided to take him in for the night and protect him, which resulted in drastic consequences: because of his actions, Shion and his mother lost their status as elites and were relocated elsewhere, and the darker side of the city began to make itself known. Now, a long time after their life-altering first meeting, Shion and Nezumi are finally brought together once again—the former elite and the boy on the run are about to embark on an adventure that will, in time, reveal the shattering secrets of No. 6. [Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 8/10

Finished airing in 2011 with a total of 11 episodes. 

My Thoughts: Just read the manga and watch this as extra, I can’t remember if the anime covered the entirety of the manga’s story but either way check out that source material first! The manga series is also completed which is a huge bonus. High point: The relationship between the two leads. 

Noragami:

Genres: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Supernatural, Shounen

Synopsis: In times of need, if you look in the right place, you just may see a strange telephone number scrawled in red. If you call this number, you will hear a young man introduce himself as the Yato God. Yato is a minor deity and a self-proclaimed "Delivery God," who dreams of having millions of worshippers. Without a single shrine dedicated to his name, however, his goals are far from being realized. He spends his days doing odd jobs for five yen apiece, until his weapon partner becomes fed up with her useless master and deserts him. Just as things seem to be looking grim for the god, his fortune changes when a middle school girl, Hiyori Iki, supposedly saves Yato from a car accident, taking the hit for him. Remarkably, she survives, but the event has caused her soul to become loose and hence able to leave her body. Hiyori demands that Yato return her to normal, but upon learning that he needs a new partner to do so, reluctantly agrees to help him find one. And with Hiyori's help, Yato's luck may finally be turning around.

My Rating: 8/10

Finished airing in 2014 with a total of 12 episodes. 

My Thoughts: Yes! Watch it! Love it! And also read it. Big downside: The updates for this manga are slow and the story is unfinished obviously. Upside: Two whole seasons of anime goodness, and if we’re really lucky we’ll eventually get another? Ok maybe not... but a girl can dream! Also this anime has one of my all time favourite opening themes! Amazing! 

Noragami Aragoto:

Genres: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Supernatural, Shounen

Synopsis:  Yato and Yukine have finally mended their relationship as god and Regalia, and everyone has returned to their daily life. Yato remains a minor and unknown deity who continues taking odd jobs for five yen apiece in the hopes of one day having millions of worshippers and his own grand shrine. Hiyori Iki has yet to have her loose soul fixed by Yato, but she enjoys life and prepares to attend high school nonetheless. Taking place immediately after the first season, Noragami Aragoto delves into the complicated past between Yato and the god of war Bishamon. The female god holds a mysterious grudge against Yato, which often results in violent clashes between them. It doesn't help that Bishamon's most trusted and beloved Regalia, Kazuma, appears to be indebted to Yato. When lives are on the line, unraveling these mysteries and others may be the only way to correct past mistakes. [Written by MAL Rewrite]

My Rating: 9/10

Finished airing in 2015 with a total of 13 episodes. 

My Thoughts: Another amazing opening theme! Seriously this series really knew how to pick them! Also have crushes on a solid chunk of the cast... so there’s that. 

#Ona #anime #net-juu no susume #recovery of an mmo junkie #nijiiro days #tv short #no game no life #no.6 #noragami #noragami aragoto

[whaleofatjme1920]

heyo can i request a romantic matchup with one of the creepypasta guys perhaps??

-im 20 years old with dark brown fluffy short hair that goes just a bit above my shoulders. im bisexual and i go by she/they pronouns. im 5'6. im a cancer sun, virgo moon, and sag rising. im also female!

-im an infj!

-i like making flower crowns for people, custom earrings, and rings! i rlly love nature and the woods so i enjoy walking along on a path or settling down by a relaxing river to have a nice lil picnic :)

-swimming is a big thing for me, i love just jumping into a lake and swimming around yk?

-i rlly love indie, rock, grunge and 50's to 90's music. i have a great love for 80's movies and the horror genre.

-i love superhero and action stuff like the avengers and x-men as well as stuff from DC.

-uhmm im an artist. i do trad but also digital art. if i paint i like to paint scenery. im also a singer and i write my own songs. i play the guitar and the ukulele!!

-i own two rats and two cats! yes they get along lmaodksjsj. im a witch whos into crystals, herbs, dieties and all. i do tarot and pendulum. i love drinking tea especially mint and chamomile teas.

-things i dislike: alcohol, someone yelling at me, aggressiveness, going on boats, too much heat, summer, thunderstorms, chicken, being alone in the extreme dark in a place like the woods, seeing or hearing stuff like people gagging or their nails being ripped off :// (i can somehow take gore tho-)

-things i like: tea, some coffees, sunflowers, motorcycles, cuddling, relaxing inside on my bed while its raining outside, the calming sound of rain, autumn, when its chilly out, seafood

-i actually rlly love reading and sometimes I like to write lil short stories or make up characters but not too deep into them. just fun little things yk?

-i kinda rlly like playing w ppls hair- like having them sit in my lap. or having them do it to me.

-omg chasing each other in an empty (empty as in like no other ppl) pretty field during a picnic date with our favorite music on?? YES PLS

-WATCHING THE SUNSET AND SUNRISE OMGGG

-i don't rlly plan on having kids :/ i don't do well with them so. fur babies as in pets tho! ABSOLUTELY

-i kinda would be a big spoon but also a little spoon. i'd do either.

-if im being honest one of the downsides of me is that I get emotional quickly in an argument :// or like I get defensive or if someone yells at me I get sad and start crying. I don't seek out fights tho and I try to avoid them.

-despite how much I like to talk im an ambivert leaning towards introvert. I get panic-y quick in public w people I don't know and im rlly nervous but i try to be as friendly as possible and keep a convo going. around my friends and stuff tho im an absolute goof ball!

-i like staying home tbh its calming

-i don't like seeing messy things eiakssksk i like organization but im not controlish about it. I like to clean tbh its kinda fun.

-my love language is honestly quality time and touch. some words of affirmation is nice too tho,, sometimes I get scared someone will get bored of me and leave ://

-i love to buy or make ppl gifts! i like to see people happy. the look on ppls faces when they see that i bought them something they rlly love makes me warm and fuzzy :,))

-im not rlly a jealous person tbh. but if someone outright is happening like obvious flirting,, i WILL say something if my partner isn't taking care of it themself.

-honestly i love being a goof but when its time to be serious ill be serious

-i talk alot so i need someone who'll be willing to listen to me talk and be interested in what im saying EIOSLAKS ill also absolutely listen to anything they say :))

-i don't care abt body types or looks rlly and im not just saying that.

-i love to remind ppl that they're stunning and gorgeous and they deserve the world 😩🤌

-i like having deep convos about random things. like who found out that we should drink cow milk? why are wild animals just fine w out toothpaste but we absolutely need to brush our teeth??

-id love to cook or bake something with someone :))

-i can't rlly think of anything else to say abt myself so

Your matchup is... Hoodie/Brian Thomas!

In general:

Took me a hot minute or so but I ultimately decided on Brian because it's the vibe I'm getting. Let's elaborate on that.

What he likes about you:

I always start out with the physical stuff first and I'm just going to say that Brian really likes your hair! Thinks it is absolutely gorgeous and fun. Will compliment how fluffy it is. Likes that you're into nature, crafty, and your music choice! Thinks your art is super fun and will want to see it. Thinks your singing voice is absolutely beautiful. Coming back to this. Your pets are fun to him as well, and your likes just seem to really line up with him y'know?? Especially loving Autumn, rain, when it's chilly, all that kind of fun stuff.

General cute things:

ALright, I feel like swimming outings would be a thing between the two of you. Brian likes water. It's just the vibe I get. Make him flower crowns please lmfao. Brian is soft and actual sunshine when he wants to be. He will watch the sunrise and sunset with you!!! He loves to just strum his guitar in the early mornings, listening to the birds sing. I feel like music dates would be a thing between the two of you. Just sitting in a flower field, watching the world go by, singing and all that cute stuff. Brian is admittedly a bit of a home body as well, so like,,,,,, hey. Just the two of you curling up on the couch, taking naps? Yes. Brian will occasionally get you gifts of things that remind him of you. He also gives me the vibe that he would get you flowers just because he thinks you'll find them pretty. He will goof around with. ALSO, Brian loves to listen to you!! Please talk to him about whatever is on your mind and I guarantee he's going to love it!! You being such a sweet person makes his heart sing? Like, you just reaffirming all the things he needs to hear make him so happy. He will also play with your hair, and on other days, he will rest his head on your lap and you can play with his.

You two as a couple:

Y'know, I think the only thing that might be a bit of a talking point between the two of you is the not having kids thing. Brian strikes me as such a strong family man. However, I don't think he's incapable of bending, so if the two of you want to be fur parents, he'd be just fine with that. Other than that, one of Brian's love languages is touch to like, be prepared for hugs, kisses, all that wholesome stuff. He's definitely a bit of an insomniac so like, please spend time with him cuddling on the roof while the two of you talk about anything and everything. Brian will definitely cook and bake with you as well, seeing those are two things he loves to do. You won't ever have to worry about jealousy with Brian because he's a king of "I have a partner stop speaking to me :)" You can also spoon him, he'd find that comforting. Brian prioritizes communication, so if you start crying, or anything like that, he'll give you some space and then come back to it. He doesn't want to cause you any harm, but some things need to be spoken about. Brian will also be your rock if the two of you go out in public and you're not very happy or overwhelmed. I swear, he's always going to be there for you.

Closing thoughts/other things:

Hi love bug, sorry this is late. The matchups were giving me some wonky type of burn out, but it's here now. To answer your thing about why animals don't need toothpaste, it actually has a lot to do with their diet! They don't eat refined sugars or the high amount of acids we do, and they also tend to eat way more twigs, sticks, bark, bones and even grass that help keep their mouths free of debris. Tell me about your characters and stories! One of my favorite things to do outside of running this blog is OCs and world building. Again, apologies for this being late. Tumblr doesn't timestamp when things come in so I just kinda guess?? I imagine it's been here for a while, my bad, I've been working out of order now. As always, let me know what you think and I hope you enjoyed!

#brian thomas #hoodie #matchup #creepypasta matchup #marble hornets matchup #hoodie headcanon

[braincoins]

for DA Shallura

I’ve been doing a series of posts about basic Dragon Age canon for my DA fic series, Dragon Age: Schism. HOWEVER, my Dragon Age AU for Shallura has slightly different background (it takes place before DA:O, and thus before any of DA:S) and I include headcanons and whatnot for DA:S in those info posts. 

So I thought I’d make One post with all the info that @tybalt-tisk​ or anyone else could need to make sense of what’s going on in that fic specifically. Some of this will be copy-pasted from what I’ve already done for DA:S because c’mon why write it twice? But everything here should give the necessary bgd for that fic. If you want/need to ask me other questions, feel free!

With credit, as always, to @yslanam​ who started this by first suggesting a DA AU for Shallura. And if you make it to the end, there’s pretty Mitz art! (Or you could skip to it, I know, but... be good, hm?)

Our story takes place in the country of Ferelden on the continent Thedas. Ferelden is basically Fantasy England (though not an island and not shaped that way), and is about the same size and climate (though it’s south of the equator, not north of it).

Shiro was born Takashi Shirogane in a small village where everyone knew everyone else and he liked it there. Loved it there, really. He signed on to be in his bann’s (the noble who ruled the land and its village) army, as did another young man from his town (whose name Shiro rarely speaks now). They served honorably and well and fell in love. 

And then they were called to battle. Shiro survived: plus a scar and some new white hair, but minus his right arm, which was too badly injured and had to be amputated. Shiro’s lover didn’t make it, though. Shiro was discharged with pay and a small bonus, but that money would run out eventually. He’s not sure what to do with himself, and he overhears people talking about what a shame it is, such a young man now destined to just wither away because, well, he’s basically worthless now. Can’t work a farm, can’t fight in wars. It hits him hard. He wants to prove himself worthy of... of something, anything, just to prove them wrong.

That’s what brings him to the Grey Wardens. 

Allura is a city elf. Elves are second-class citizens - at best - amongst humans, and the city elves live in ghettos called “alienages.” Her father was the Elder of the Highever (a city in Ferelden) Alienage: the man in charge, basically. That didn’t mean Allura behaved though; even as a child, she would rant about how elves were people just like humans and they deserved better treatment. This didn’t win her a lot of friends; most city elves learn quick that yelling about the truth just draws a whole lot of unwelcome - and often armed - attention.

But then it was discovered that Allura had magic, and she was taken off to the Tower of the Circle of Magi to be trained... and supervised. If there’s anything worse than being an elf in Ferelden, it’s being a mage. Mages, if they aren’t careful, can basically be possessed by demons and then they kill a bunch of people and it’s a bad scene. Therefore most people fear mages, and the Chantry - the main religious organization on the continent and damn near the only one in Ferelden - has created Templars to watch over the mages of the Circle. 

The Templars are also known as “mage-hunters” because that’s one of their main duties: running down mages who try to flee their gilded cage. They also kill any mage suspected of being demon-possessed. And they’re posted all throughout the Tower, watching... always watching...

Allura liked learning magic but hated that this is how it’s done. She’s just been moved from one cage to another, and she wasn’t silent about that either. Things came to a head after she became an official mage; she saw a Templar about to force himself on a fellow mage, who was terrified of the man. She got angry and killed the man, straight out. She should have been killed, made Tranquil (basically magical lobotomy) or sent to Aeonar, the mage prison, but Duncan, the Warden-Commander, was there visiting and recruited her away, instead. 

That’s what brings her to the Grey Wardens.

And that’s where she meets Shiro.

So, really now, what is a Grey Warden? Well, that depends on who you ask. To most people outside the order, the Grey Wardens are a glorious order of noble heroes! And why is that? Well, they’re immune to the darkspawn taint (which usually kills people) and so they can safely slay darkspawn! They’re also the only ones who can stop Blights!! …though this last bit of information is often forgotten, given that Blights happen once every few centuries.

If you ask me, the Grey Wardens are the biggest dick move in Thedas, which is actually part of why I love them. Here’s all the downsides to joining this “glorious order”:

First of all, the Right of Conscription. Ferelden has it; not sure if other nations in Thedas do? Anyway, it means that Grey Wardens can recruit anyone at any time. In practice, they have to be careful how they wield this tool (especially in Ferelden), but the RoC has been used to save people from hangings or other deadly fates… on the condition that they become a Warden Recruit. So… didn’t want to be Warden Recruit? TOO BAD, YOU ARE NOW. And no, you don’t get a say in the RoC. (Allura was RoC’d, to keep the commander of the Templars from killing her.)

Second of all, there’s the Joining. It turns out that, in order to become a Grey Warden, you have to drink darkspawn blood. And a bunch of other stuff in there, but really now, DRINKING DARKSPAWN BLOOD. You might recognize this as a stupidly dangerous thing to do, given that darkspawn blood KILLS THINGS. But your options are drink it or die, because the Grey Wardens present at the Joining will kill you if you try to back out after learning about this. If you drink from the Joining chalice, you also might die, but your name will be remembered as a Grey Warden at least? Even though you’re dead. And hey, if you live, you… become “immune” to the darkspawn taint, which is to say you’re already fucking tainted so it’s not like it can get worse. Want to know why the Grey Wardens don’t tell people they’re gonna make them drink darkspawn blood? Well, if they did that, people wouldn’t want to join, and we need Grey Wardens.

Supposing you survive the Joining, there’s the shortened lifespan (10-30 years depending on your sources) and the nightmares (that maybe you can learn to tune out). Again, they don’t tell you this until afterwards. Why? Because then people might not want to become Grey Wardens… yadda yadda. (Shiro might not speak Adam’s name anymore but he sure does yell it some nights, jolting out of a night terror and back to reality.)

Oh, and forget about having kids! It’s very difficult if not impossible to have children as a Grey Warden! (Not like they let mages have kids in the Circle. And Shiro’d been in love with a man, so he was okay with not having biological children anyway.)

At some point, even if you were able to tune the nightmares out, they’ll come back and there’ll be nothing you can do about it. That’s the first sign of The Calling. Because it turns out that the Joining is really just turning you into a ghoul, except very, very slowly. You’re getting close to Ghoul-dom now. Most Grey Wardens choose to die in battle against the darkspawn rather than waiting to be turned. It’s tradition.

And if there’s a Blight going on? Oh, well, it turns out that the only way to kill an Archdemon is to sacrifice a Grey Warden. Why didn’t they tell you? DO YOU EVEN HAVE TO ASK NOW?!

The motto of the Grey Wardens is “In war, victory. In peace, vigilance. In death, sacrifice.”

So what I’m saying is that Grey Wardens are SUPER TRAGIC BADASSES. They also wind up pretty cut off from their former lives, so the Wardens become their family. So, basically, SUPER TRAGIC BADASS FOUND FAMILY. 

Shiro and Allura get close because it turns out they work well together as a fighting pair: he as a warrior, she as a mage. Even with only one arm, Shiro can at least protect Allura as she takes shit out. They’re quickly a unit, just the two of them, always sent out together. It’s no wonder it starts to blossom into love.

But Allura sees that Shiro wants to do more than just protect and shield bash, so she starts trying to figure out how to make him a prosthetic: one worthy of a Grey Warden. One... worthy of him. 

There are different schools of magic: Creation is the healing branch, and it seems natural to try to work with that some, but in the end, Allura has to also dip into a forbidden school: Blood Magic. Blood Magic has the reputation of being evil because you’re using people’s blood - people’s life forces - to power your spells. After growing up in the Tower, she’s understandably nervous about using it.

But she talks about it with Shiro, and although he might otherwise be scared of Blood Magic, she tells him she doesn’t need a lot of it, it won’t kill him, and... well, it’s her. He trusts her. And she works hard to be worthy of that trust, she goes over this spell she’s created several times. It should work to attach the arm - made of silverite, a very powerful and durable metal - to him so he can use it.

She just forgot about the darkspawn taint coursing through him. His blood is not normal. And there are some... side effects from messing with it.

I do recommend reading this post (it’s kinda 1/2 meta, 1/2 fic) but if you don’t want to, the short version is that Shiro has trouble controlling his arm at first and so he pushes Allura away because he’s afraid of hurting her. She takes that as a well-deserved rebuke because she did this to him. 

Eventually they scream it all out at each other: he loves her, he was afraid for her, she feels guilty and is so afraid he’ll leave her, etc. They settle down and start working together on figuring out how Shiro can better control this thing. At the beginning of this fic, he’s gotten the hang of it now.

I’ll put up pictures of their uniforms when I can, and other than that, you should be good to go! I know this was long, sorry. Here, have some pretty @mitzoco​ art:

#DA Shallura #Dragon Age 101 for Shallura fans

[laughingpinecone]

ToT letter 2021

I am laughingpineapple on AO3

Hello dear author! I hope you’ll have fun with our match. Feel free to draw from general or fandom-specific likes, past letters, and/or follow your heart.

Art likes: characters doing something, even something very simple, illustrating a moment rather than abstractly posing. I also enjoy seeing them wear different clothes, getting a feel of what their fashion sense is like beyond their canon outfit(s). Or dressing them up for some outlandish AU!

Likes: worldbuilding, slice of life (especially if the event the fic focuses on is made up but canon-specific), missing moments, 5+1 and similar formats, bonding and emotional support/intimacy, physical intimacy, lingering touches, loyalty, casefic, surrealism, magical realism, established relationships, future fic, hurt/comfort or just comfort from the ample canon hurt, throwing characters into non-canon environments, banter, functional relationships between dysfunctional individuals, unexplained mysteries, bittersweet moods, journal/epistolary fic, dreams and memories and identities, canon-adjacent tropey plots, outsider POV, UST, resolved UST, exploration of secondary bits of canon, leaning on the uniqueness of the canon setting/mood, found families, characters reuniting after a long and/or harrowing time, friends-to-lovers, road trips, maps, mutual pining, cuddling, wintry moods, the feeling of flannel and other fabrics, ridiculous concepts played straight, sensory details, sickfic, places being haunted, people being haunted, the mystery of the woods, small hopes in bleak worlds, electricity, places that don’t quite add up, mismatched memories, caves and deep places, distant city lights at night, emphasis on non-human traits of non-human characters (gen-wise, but also a hearty yes xeno for applicable ships), emphasis on inhuman traits of characters who were human once and have sort of shed it all behind

DNW: non-canonical rape, non-canonical children, focus on children, unrequested ships (background established canon couples are okay, mentions of parents are okay!), canon retellings

All requests are for both fic and art!

Death Crown: Death, trick

(I haven't played the DLC yet so, alas, no demons, or no spoilers for the demons, at least) I am absolutely charmed by the overall mood of this game and would like to see something more in that vein! Anything! Got more sacred (or unholy?) geometrical architecture for Death to interact with, maybe in greater detail than just wrecking it? What else feels like a contemporary take on a Bosch painting? Can Death get lost?

Ghost Trick: Jowd, Cabanela, trick, treat

Anything focused on Cabanela being an unstoppable force (confident, untiring, sparkling, stubborn, dexterous, loyal to the bitter end, legs) and/or Jowd being an immovable object (sarcastic, strong, depressed, self-deprecating but knowing he's hot stuff, also stubborn, clever but an emotional dumbass, round). Figuring out stuff? Something in the new timeline is linked to the old timeline? Coat? Dancing? Scarves? Halloween costumes?

I like Cabanela/Jowd and Cabanela/Alma/Jowd and Cabanela/Alma in scenarios where Jowd isn't around and Alma/Jowd in general (REALLY like all these, okay. like this is the one request where I'd love the most self-indulgent shippy takes as well), and dig Lynne/Memry. Yomiel/fianSissel and Emma/JM also cool!

Hylics: any, trick, treat

(I have only played the first game so far so please no overt spoilers for Hylics 2. Feel free to include stuff from it but... stealthily, I guess?) This is an "anything that feels somewhat like canon, please" sort of request! Love the mood, love the cast, love the little added details in their menu screen. Those can be prompts? Or the oddball stats? How do ToT's trick and treat freeforms apply to Hylics' overall... hylicsness, what would those guys think constitutes a "creepy" moment or a "fluffy" one?

Not into ships for this one, however I WILL say that Dedusmuln has all the proverbial curves in the right places. mostly their face.

Kentucky Route Zero: Weaver

Math, debt, the liminal state of almost being a ghost, seeing the world with a strange clarity... just anything Weaver, please! How'd she make her way to the town? What was it like for her to be working on Xanadu for a time? What about the community broadcast! Does she have an opinion on Carrington's oeuvre? You know... things... stuff. Weaver things. and stuff.

I love the whole cast and Weaver... wove... her story through most of them so feel free to bring in whomever. Not interested in ships here though.

Paradise Killer: Lady Love Dies, trick

A post-canon glimpse of life on '''''perfect''''' 25? That's not QUITE enough class consciousness to make the whole thing work, you guys. What does 'normal' life feel like to LD now? After following Henry's case and talking to Shinji so much, can she see that it's doomed to fail again, and then what? What IS Island 25 like, anyway? (what comes after Island 25, even?)

I liked the choice of canon romances - if it has to be just one I'd prefer it to be Crimson, but I'd also be interested in seeing what a V or triad with Doom Jazz would look like. They're all so chill about stuff

Pyre: Volfred, trick, treat

Pragmatic idealist, charismatic and bad at people, pacifist, activist, physiologically incapable of shutting up for a hot second, what's there not to love... I am very into either of the following: C. Volfred Sandalwood has a fantastic day; C. Volfred Sandalwood has a terrible no good day. Everything is great! Pre-exile antiestablishmentarian antics, maybe with Bertrude? Political gambits? The very physical dangers of the Downside which may or may not catch a scholar by surprise (who saves him?)? Tree problems? Meeting Oralech for the first time and Volfred thinks he himself is hot stuff but out of the two, Oralech is clearly the VIP? Feeling like he should live up to Lu Sclorian's legacy but he feels much closer to other Scribes (and what does Lu have to say about it, one way or another?)? The thrilling intimacy of Reading? The thrilling intimacy of lowercase reading also, maybe reading old manuscripts found in the Downside?

I very much ship him with Tariq and/or Oralech. The only canon ship I like is Hedwyn/Fikani. I also like Soliam/Gol, Bertrude/Pamitha and Celeste/Jodariel. Love all the Nightwings + Dalbert (+Deluge...?); love to dunk on Manley, Brighton and Lendel (I don't enjoy flat-out bashing, more like... I enjoy the way they are portrayed as horrible gremlins in canon and if they turn up in fic I'm not interested in more positive portrayals)

Signs of the Sojourner: Rhea, Elias, trick, treat

Once again pretty much an "anything in the style of canon" request. I love this setting, its themes and all the little lives that fill it. I am interested in a wide range of postcanon scenarios and love the whole cast - does Rhea come back to $town any number of years down the line and find $character? How'd their storyline end up in the medium-long term? What the hell is up with the Stranger (seriously, three runs and I never managed to speak with them, I have no idea)? What's life like for Elias back home, or in a new home if they can't keep the store, or if Rhea landed the Oscar ending or whatever (just, please, not dead Rhea. I love that ending but can't stand to consider what it'd do to Elias)? Or does he join the caravan just once? Who did Rhea grow to really like and can't wait to see every time? Any ghost stories or creepy encounters on the caravan's route? Does Thunder help?

I'm neutral on ships here - good with Rhea&Elias, good with background Rhea/Elias but I wouldn't like a romantic focus.

Totally Normal Wizard Apprentice: apprentice, wizard, master, trick, treat

(conflict of interest disclaimer, I illustrated this but didn't write nor nominate it) What awaits the apprentice outside the wizard's tower? It sounds like a pretty wild moon out there, I loved all the worldbuilding hints of the bigger setting. Does the wizard keep track of the apprentice, with her telescope or otherwise, and how does she take care of her ruined parlor? Was this all some sort of 5d chess on the master's part, and if so to what end? And what kind of otherworldly patience does this man possess, anyway, to handle the apprentice on a daily basis?

Twin Peaks: Margaret, Diane, Lucy, Tammy, trick, treat

(bass-boosted ethereal whooshing) For tricks, I would like to see any of these characters face the woods, the mystery of the woods, and/or a new symbol of your liking. Or: Margaret in the city, Diane and the moon, Lucy and the color blue, Tammy incognito.

For treats, a happy meeting. I love the whole cast and I'm always thrilled by gonzo "&" pairings, bring in whomever! Coffee and pie? The Bookhouse Boys? A kinder aspect of the woods?

Fandom-specific notes: love s3, love the books too. I like Lucy/Andy, Margaret/Sam fwiw, and rarepairs Tammy/Cynthia and Diane/Constance. Please no Fireman's-house-is-the-white-lodge, no Twin Perfect, no Judy-was-destroyed (nor is destroyable).

Arcade Spirits: Percy, Teo, treat

More than anything, I love the sense of group and camaraderie among the arcade's staff and regulars, and I'd love to see some more of it. I picked Percy and Teo 'cause they're my faves but anyone you may want to add, up to and including Sue, is very very welcome. Is there any aspect of gaming that feels like it could be adapted to this strange world of contemporary arcades? Cosplay shenanigans for everyone courtesy of Ashley? Any other activity that could show how Percy and/or Teo get along with the others, like they were all forming little groups during the beach chapter? It's such a feel-good canon, any feel-good situation would be great!

My Ari is with Percy but I'm not really interested in shipping here. All sorts of friendships though!

#letter

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[kelleah-meah]

My plans for the Summer Solstice-meets-the Solar Eclipse weekend

For the first time, I’ve been thinking about celebrating the summer solstice holiday this year. It’s been a couple of rough weeks here in America (and everywhere), and now that my workload is picking back up, my anxiety has quelled to make room for good old-fashioned regular life and work-related stress.

Well, since this year’s summer solstice will be accompanied by a solar eclipse at 0 degrees of Cancer the next day, I thought I’d take the day(s) and truly honor my psyche, my home, and my blessings ... guilt free. 

The only downside is that I have to work on Saturday, but the upside is since I’m working from home, I probably won’t be working very hard. (Don’t judge.)

So here’s what I have in mind ...

Saturday afternoon (Litha) --

Write in my journal

Dance my heart out to some music

Go for a walk in the park (with my mask on, of course)

Sunday (Solar Eclipse day) --

Sleep in as long as I want

Read my book

Work on my art project

Do a long tarot spread

Not stress about my career or finances

I’ll likely exercise on one or both of those days. I’ll probably straighten my house up a bit too. But ultimately, I want to spend the day(s) celebrating my life, warts and all. 

Tomorrow (Friday), I’m going grocery shopping for a few things for my Litha/Eclipse meals. I’m still gathering ideas, but I think I’ve settled on this:

Baked chicken breast

Fresh spinach salad with cherry tomatoes and mushrooms

Pasta with basil and diced tomatoes

Water with lemon

Peppermint tea with raw honey

Dairy-free raspberry sorbet

I'm still on the diet that my doctor put me on, so I don’t want to stray too much from the menu she gave me, but I’m also thinking of making some blueberry muffins with fresh blueberries. I figure I can go back to following the diet by its strict guidelines after the weekend has passed. Also, I don’t want to go too far off the rails since I have lost 23 lbs over the past 3 months in quarantine. 🙂

With all of us doing our best to maintain while navigating both Retrograde season and Eclipse season, plus everything else on top of 2020, I just want to lean in and embrace life.

#midsummer #litha #summer solstice #retrograde season #eclipse season #solar eclipse #litha 2020 #this is me #summer solstice 2020

[type-mage]

I felt like writing something like a fairy tale. (art also by me)  Enjoy. 

The fire that brings spring

It was on a sunny spring day that the girl caught the firefox. She had laid the traps for years, just for this moment. Her eyes were itching, her nose running. That morning she had sighed as so often before. “If only,” she had wished. “If only spring wouldn’t come, I wouldn’t be feeling so bad.”

Now, her wish was ready to come true.

The fox looked up at her with begging eyes. “Dear, sweet little girl. Look at me caught in this cruel trap. Will you please free me before the hunter comes?”

The girl felt for the fox, but she was unable to comply. “I am very sorry, pretty fox, but I can not let you go. I’ll be taking you home instead.”

The fox said no more and let her take him. She put him in a cage, in the cellar.

Then she visited her grandfather, like every day. He gave her cookies and spoke to her about the wonders of nature. As so often, he told her how spring had come, because the firefox had woken everything up. He told her the hayfever would subside soon. She just had to hold out a little longer.

Months went by and the girl was sure to feed the fox whatever he asked for. She gave him all he wanted, except the freedom he needed most.

“Dear, sweet little girl,” the fox pleaded one day. “Summer is neigh. Please release me so I can absorb the sun and smell the flowers.”

The girl felt again for the fox, but she shook her head. “I’m sorry, pretty fox, but if I free you, how will I be sure that I will catch you again? I can not let you go now.”

The fox said no more and let her take care of him ever longer, his eyes growing sad.

The sun grew warm and bright. Nature flourished in green. The girl’s itches finally grew less, yet wouldn’t ever leave her alone.

She visited her grandfather and again he told her the hayfever would subside as soon as the flowers would wither.

“Dear, sweet little girl,” the fox begged her again a few months later. “Summer has passed and autumn is here. It is time for me to find my hollow and prepare for sleep. Will you please let me go?”

The girl could feel for the fox’s sad tone of voice. Yet, she responded negatively: “I’m sorry, pretty fox, but I can not let you go. If I let you fall asleep I will not see you before spring again.”

The fox said no more and lay down with clouded eyes.

She gave him extra soft pillows, yet, he would not cheer up. He stopped eating her coals and only looked at her with pain.

The leaves turned red and gold like the sunset. They kissed the ground, where creatures scurried through them. Squirrels hid their nuts and bears ate twice their weight in honey.

“Just a little longer,” grandfather assured her. “The last flowers are giving their all now.”

Surely, the itching was finally subsiding.

“Little girl, I beg of you!” the fox pleaded desperately now. “Winter is about to start. I feel the sleep weighing me down. If I am not at my hollow, I will not wake up in time. Spring will never come.”

The girl couldn’t do anything but grieve for the creature, yet she answered once again: “I’m sorry, pretty fox, I can not let you go. When spring starts I will feel so bad. As the flowers bloom my eyes will swell. My nose will run and everything will itch until I want to scratch myself bleeding. If spring never comes, that will be my dream come true.”

This time the fox did say more. “Spring is needed for all to awake. Without it other seasons will never come and all who live will fall ill.”

The girl said no more and left the fox alone.

Trees went bare and cold crept in. The fire fox fell into a deep slumber not a living soul could break. The girl rejoiced in the lack of itching and continued to look after her grandfather every day.

Winter did not stop. Without the firefox to wake the world, the cold went on and plants stayed asleep. Branches wouldn’t produce leaves. The animals wouldn’t wake up. The birds outside looked sad in their fluffed feathers, waiting for the moment to sing.

Grandfather looked outside in worry. As he shifted he grunted in pain. “Something must be up with the firefox. My joints can’t take this cold much longer. Spring needs to start now, or all will suffer and die.”

Seeing her own grandfather hurt, the little girl felt incredibly sorry. She hurried back to the fox and carried it into the woods. Yet, it continued to sleep and would not awaken spring.

“You must find its hollow,” a magpie told her with raspy voice. Its feathers looked ruffled from the long season. “The forest spirit can tell you where it is. Follow the river towards its source and go even deeper into the forest from there. You will find him.”

The girl lifted the fox and carried it the long way. She grew thirsty and hungry. Her feet started to rough and her legs grew tired. Yet, she did not give in and continued to walk. The thought of her hurt grandfather pushed her on.

The forest spirit was a great, green dear, with antlers as bare as the branches. It looked at her sternly: “I will tell you where to bring the fox, only if you stay there until it wakes and will agree to the punishment it decides to render you.”

The little girl bowed before the spirit and swore to accept whatever punishment the fox would give her.

Thus, the spirit led her on towards a clearing, surrounded by stone walls. Purple flowers with long white stamens bloomed in the grass.

The girl laid the fox down and slept next to it, exhausted from her journey.

She dreamed she had flaming paws that rumbled on the ground. She chased through the bare forest and wherever her toes touched, green sprouted. Her fluffy tail waved to the waking plants and animals in warm welcome. Their happiness entered her body and filled her veins.

When she woke, the fox was standing before her. It looked at her with wise eyes. The girl pushed her face to the ground and apologized from the depth of her heart. “I am ready to receive any punishment you bestow upon me.”

“Come with me,” the fox told her.

They left the hollow and met a dark, sad forest.

“All seasons,” the fox explained, “are needed for balance. Every one of them has their upsides and downsides. Yet, they are all necessary for life. Spring gives the joy of awakening, summer allows one to thrive in warmth, autumn delivers us colors and preparation and winter will let us rest from the excitement. Rather than linger in your suffering, you should see the good sides and look forward to what is to come. Because every year, the season you love most, will appear once again. Not any kind of suffering in life is everlasting. Neither can you hurt others to comfort yourself.”

The little girl fell to her knees as his words reached her. She realized her big mistake and felt tremendously guilty. “I’m sorry, pretty fox. I should have let you go.”

“Dear, sweet little girl,” the fox decided. “As punishment to my imprisonment you will watch the beauty of spring outside all season long, despite the bad feeling it brings to you. After that, I am sure you will understand.”

The fox said no more as it took off from beside her. It ran through the forest, leaving a trail of green in its wake. The little girl could see the world awaken before her eyes.

It was spring yet again.

#my writing #fairy tale #firefox #spring #hay fever #short story #writing #fic #long post

[rpgmgames]

August’s Featured Game: Marinette

DEVELOPER(S): Teal Crown ENGINE: RPG Maker MV GENRE: Horror, Puzzle, Adventure WARNINGS: Sensitive Themes, Blood/Light Gore SUMMARY: A little girl named Marinette, in the wake of a splitting family and a change of homes, is having a birthday. But this, her eleventh birthday, will present a deadly opportunity to fulfill a special promise. On the night before her birthday, she is drawn into a strange realm; an unnatural dollhouse, populated with dolls who are not quite what they seem. A web of strings lying in wait, and threatening to ensnare the poor marionette; warping her perception, and twisting her every move. Will the strings attach, and force her to become an unwilling puppet, or will she escape this surreal web of strings? What will she have to do to avoid the dangers of the dollhouse, and set herself free?

Our Interview With The Dev Team Below The Cut!

Introduce yourself! *Mitty: "Hello, I'm Mitty! Thank you so much for the opportunity to participate in this interview. I'm the main developer of the game and I'm working with a team of friends to make this game a reality. I work mainly on the visuals and programming, and I'll be representing the team, alongside Third! I've been on the community for around two years, even though I tend to not be active very often." *Third: "Hoi, I’m Third! I appreciate you reaching out to interview us. I’m the main composer and writer of Marinette, and I work under Mitty to make the story and soundtrack what we want it to be. I’ve been in the community for little less than Mitt but am even less active in most of my developer discords."

What is your project about? What inspired you to create this game initially? *Mitty: "The game is essentially about a girl that gets trapped inside a dollhouse. A simple concept really can go far ahaha I've always loved themes related to creepy dolls so I wanted to create something related to that. What pushed me initially to start were obviously the inspiration of seeing other devs creating, seeing how far you could go with these engines and create amazing interactive stories, however the huge support from a friend was what made me actually start past the planning and dreaming!" *Third: "Marinette is a story about a little girl becoming entangled in the complicated family and supernatural landscape she finds herself in on her birthday. I enjoy writing short stories about this kind of thing so it’s fantastic to work on a larger project about one of my favorite subjects. My primary inspiration and introduction to this kind of game in general was Pocket Mirror, and I use it the most as a model for how to do certain things. However, I also draw a lot of inspiration from masterpieces like Aria’s Story, Ib, Witch’s House, and Alice Mare."

How long have you been working on your project? *Mitty: "The project has been in the works for around two years now! The first year was mostly planning and right now we are on the right track with the programming and asset creation for the demo, as well as music and sound design for later development. Planning isn't over yet though, especially for the final game." *Third: "I’ve been working on this for almost two years. The soundtrack possessed most of my earlier attention, but now it’s taken a backseat to writing, now that I’m actively writing the scripts for the game now. "

Did any other games or media influence aspects of your project? *Mitty: "Yes! The game has inspirations from plenty of sources, not only strictly RPG Maker Horror games, or games in general for that matter. If I were to mention those, of course games like Ib, The witch's house, Alice Mare, Pocket Mirror, Yume Nikki & .flow, Stray Cat Crossing, Mogeko's games...etc quickly come to mind. When it comes to the aesthetics and visuals, the inspirations come from several different places, including games like Alice Madness Returns, Dofus, Yomawari, The Legend of Mana, Little Nightmares...the list goes on; or other media, like Inu Curry's animation style or video creator nana825763, as well as some anime and music videos. Silent hill is also a huge inspiration for the atmosphere, and hopefully we can pull it off well!" *Third: "My primary inspiration, as I’ve said earlier, is Pocket Mirror, both for its masterful writing and soundtrack. The game’s soundtrack is the main reason I still play piano. Whenever I’m feeling musical, my fingers always hunt out the same kind of haunting, mysterious, and sometimes peaceful and playful melodies that Pocket Mirror is rife with. In the end, our soundtrack is probably going to sound like Pocket Mirror and Aria’s Story’s soundtracks were meshed together. Story wise, commonplace elements in this genre like demons, monsters, mean parents and puzzles that tell the story are commonplace for a reason, and certainly find their way into this one, in their own special way. Every other game I’ve mentioned involves them in some form or another. And young, curious protagonists are also a blast to write and do evil things to and put in difficult, dangerous situations. "

Have you come across any challenges during development? How have you overcome or worked around them? *Mitty: "We surely have! Many of them in different areas ahaha Taking away bug hunting, I am primarily an artist, so programming for me is a secondary thing. Because of this it's easy to get carried away and hard to realise what can and can't be done. I don't want the game to be visually boring if I can make things move and seem alive! The way I'm handling it is programming like an artist: I think in my head what cool things I can do with my art by not having it completely still, and then it's a matter of executing it on the engine. However this comes with a downside. I tend to tweak things a lot, and that takes quite some time, but I honestly think it's worth it ahaha Also I find it hard to start writing, but when I do, I can't stop orz. Other challenges are also finding plot holes. This is fixed with a lot of studying the story, gathering inspiration and talking with the team. I also struggle a bit with communicating with the team, but thankfully they are all very nice and understanding." *Third: "Main challenge is overcoming the sheer weight of how much I have to learn about music and writing in order for this game to be what I want it to be. I’m a perfectionist, and when I care about something, I can’t tolerate it being worse than it could’ve been. Also, writing is getting more and more complicated and there’s more things and details to keep track of so as not to create inconsistencies or plot holes, especially as we try to revise it and make major changes to the story (Mitt will know what I’m talking about). "

Have any aspects of your project changed over time? How does your current project differ from your initial concept? *Mitty: "It changed a lot, not only in terms of the story and writing, but visually too. The basic concept is close to being the same, though. You can check out old posts in the blog where I consider different styles of mapping and such. Actually, don't, please. It's too old...and my writing...oh god." *Third: "The writing has come a long way, but now that we’ve fleshed out and written down much of the backstory, it’s a much more complicated story than what Mitt first showed me when I joined."

What was your team like at the beginning? How did people join the team? If you don’t have a team, do you wish you had one or do you prefer working alone? *Mitty: "Initially it was just me, occasionally having Mia to talk about the story and help develop it. Rindre joined as a voice actress very early on and also helped in other aspects of the game. Then I also talked about it with two friends I know in real life, one helped with organization and the other with some concept art, but they aren't that active anymore, even though I still count them as part of the team (Thank you guys btw if you're reading this). Eventually I met Third, an amazing composer and writer, and I asked him to join in! He brought along a friend who is also an amazing composer and writer, Code, and these two are complete madmen of music and writing and I'm super glad to be working with them, as they are super passionate and it makes me really happy ahaha. Bruno is also a really dedicated composer that is helping with a few tracks as well! Miku and Luccinia are two super talented and kind artists that have also been helping a ton with concept art, and their ideas have certainly improved the game as well. We are welcome to more concept artists, though! More heads, more ideas ahaha Recently we got the voice actresses for a few characters in the game, when we did the auditions, and hopefully soon another friend will jump aboard and help with organization and writing! We are a relatively small team, and sometimes progress goes a bit slowly since we can get busy, but we are all doing our best! I’m glad that I’m not alone. Links for their pages and such can be found on the team section on the blog, go support them if you can!"

What is the best part of developing a game? *Mitty: "For me, personally, I love seeing what my team mates come up with, whether it is music or concept art. I also enjoy the love and support we get, and it makes me excited in the development. As for the creation part, I like programming challenging cutscenes and doing cool things with the assets. Progress updates can also be fun to make when I have the time." *Third: "My favorite part is showing Mitt what I’ve written and composed. Making her happy and excited with my work is extremely fulfilling. "

Do you find yourself playing other RPG Maker games to see what you can do with the engine, or do you prefer to do your own thing? *Mitty: "Oh, yes! Besides being a cool break from programming hell, it helps me make it less of a hell ahaha I like improvising, though, so I think I play RPG Maker games because I enjoy them for the most part." *Third: "Occasionally, not really. I don’t play many games and I’ve played the heck out of the ones I have."

Which character in your game do you relate to the most and why? (Alternatively: Who is your favorite character and why?) *Mitty: "Ah I don't know, honestly. I think I can relate to every character in one way or another, and it's hard picking one, especially since the game isn't out yet and I'd like to keep most characters hidden until the demo. Marinette is definitely one of my favourites, though, I just love how innocent and cute she is. Her cheekiness can be made super interesting ahaha" *Third: "My favorite character is definitely Pierre. He’s a complete blast to write, and gives me lots of cool things to describe and say through him, from his magic tricks to his killer lines and quotes."

Looking back now, is there anything that regret/wish you had done differently? *Mitty: "Hm...Having organized things better in the beginning would have saved a lot of time now, but I don't think it's been that big of a deal anymore. I don't have any regrets that I'm aware of at the moment since everything until this point was necessary to learn and get to where we are now."

Do you plan to explore the game’s universe and characters further in subsequent projects, or leave it as-is? *Mitty: "I'm not sure yet, it depends on the reception and how willing I'll be to continue the story. Even though I would find it fun to make comics, another game or a different midia, realistically I can't tell how willing I'll be to continue developing content about it after the game is finished. Honestly, I hope I can develop more projects on Marinette, we do have content for that, and I absolutely love it with my heart! But it's also equally important to move on to another story. Only time will tell!" Third: "I hope to, but that day is very far away for me. I’ll be gone for quite some time after Marinette is finished, and I hope I’m not forgotten by the time I return. Perhaps I’ll entertain myself with additional short stories exploring the various aftermaths of the game."

What do you most look forward to upon/after the release of a project? *Mitty: "I honestly just want to get the story out there. I'm hoping people will enjoy it if they play the game, and will have a special place in their hearts to keep it on. This project means a lot to me, and having it making people feel things is what I'm looking forward to. I'd love to see other people playing it, definitely. I imagine I'll eventually be relieved to have finally completed it, it'll be a big moment for me to sigh be proud of creating. I'll be able to move on to work on other fun things while I see how this little child of a game is going to do out there in the wild, and that's always nice!" *Third: "Fan reaction, 100%. Having people ask me questions about my work and telling me how much they enjoyed it is my favorite part of writing."

Is there something you’re afraid of concerning the development or the release of your game? *Mitty: "Yes, I don't want to feel empty with nothing to do when I finish the game. I know it will be great and all, but I've been working on it for so long that it's hard to imagine not working on it ahaha! It's a really fun hobby, but it's also engraved in my heart. I want it to be the best it can be, of course, so I'm scared of bugs, inconsistencies and overall it being clearly a bad game. I'm hoping that people will help with critiques on the demo, so I have a better outside perspective of where we are going. I don't want to drop the game, so I'm scared of having to take a long break from it during the development. I'm worried of being a terrible team leader as well." *Third: "I dread plot holes more than anything, and I dread a dull and overall unimpactful story. I want a tale that will punch the viewer in the gut, hard. I want to make them cry. I want to make them laugh. I want them to draw what I wrote, and explore it further in hopefully-not-too-sexual fanfiction."

Do you have any advice for upcoming devs? *Mitty: "Don't be scared to start. You're going to suffer mid-way if it's a long term project, but keep pushing through, you'll learn a lot and it becomes easier with time. Take breaks and take it easy, step by step. LIST STUFF AND MAKE BACKUPS. Learn with short projects first. Ask for advice from people you admire, but never hold them on a pedestal. It’s always helpful to be a jack of all trades! Try to think from an outsider perspective if you're not sure of how it's going, and if you can, tell people you trust about the game and ask for opinions. Always take criticism well, but don't stress too much over harsher or even meaner comments. Have fun and never forget your starts, the people you meet and the reason you're doing the project for. If you're also an artist, writer, musician, remember this is a great opportunity to add something interesting to your portfolio. Cool visuals attract people, but they are not everything that will keep them hooked." *Third: "The best part of making a game is the people you make it with. The story is the most important ingredient of your game. Prioritize it first, and everything else will fall into place around it. Otherwise, everything will serve some other aspect of your game, and that’s rarely a good thing. Always speak your mind; do not every not say something just because it’ll hurt someone’s feelings. Obviously don’t be a tool, but if you ever have to choose between hurting the game and someone’s pride, pick someone’s pride. It’s much kinder in the long run."

Question from last month's featured dev Froach Club: Have you ever had a moment where you got completely stuck or became intensely frustrated while using RPG Maker? *Mitty: "Yes I have, I think everyone has QwQ Despite silly mistakes, I've gotten stuck several times, but honestly it's usually either us doing something stupidly hard that can be done another way, or we are just not skilled enough yet, and it's better to come back later. You can usually do most things you wanna do if you have the advantage of knowing the programming language your RPG Maker Engine uses I think. Google is your friend always, and sleeping about it also helps. I once dreamt of a whole sequence to fix a problem, and it worked! ahaha Always take it easy and don't give up, but know your limits and the limits of the engine!"

We mods would like to thank Teal Crown for agreeing to our interview! We believe that featuring the developer and their creative process is just as important as featuring the final product. Hopefully this Q&A segment has been an entertaining and insightful experience for everyone involved!

Remember to check out Marinette if you haven’t already! See you next month! 

- Mods Gold & Platinum

#marinette #rpg maker #rpgmaker #horror game #indie game #gotm #game of the month #gotm 2019 #august #august 2019 #teal crown #interview #horror #cute

[sockparade]

tips for surviving the pandemic: things i learned from my immigrant parents

It’s hard to believe that it’s only been a little over a week since the WHO announced that the coronavirus (COVID-19) was officially a pandemic. This has been a long, challenging week for a lot of people and it is nothing short of terrifying to read reports of what is happening in Asia and Europe as many predict that we’ll likely endure a similar fate here in the United States. In the midst of all of this chaos and uncertainty, I’ve been reminded of so many lessons that my Taiwanese immigrant parents taught me. I’m sharing them here so that others might also benefit. Thanks Ma. Thanks Daddy.

你昨天已經出去了.

“You already went out yesterday.“

1. Learn how to stay home. Our family is eight days into self-isolating at home and Tony asked me this morning if I had cabin fever. And strangely, the answer is no. I’m not. Not to downplay the difficulty of this moment but my experience with this “shelter-in-place” ordinance reminds of pretty much all my summers between kindergarten and 8th grade. Both of my parents worked full-time so summer was just three blissful months of nothing. No structure, no plans, no camps, no playdates, and no responsibilities. My parents never made me feel like I was missing a thing by staying home and I don’t remember ever feeling bored. There were always library books to read, stories to write, and thoughts to journal. Hours were spent playing school with my big sister (now a first grade teacher!), making up random games like who can avoid touching the carpet longest, learning Kim Zmeskal’s latest gymnastics floor routine, writing lyrics to Kenny G saxophone solos, and rehearsing for our variety show that we would perform to our tired parents at the end of the day. And that’s not even including the hours we spent watching The Price is Right, CHIPS, Knight Rider, and Airwolf (yep, no cable).   

As a teenager I carefully plotted all my hangouts with friends so that I didn’t have too many consecutive days when I was out of the house. Whenever I asked my parents if I could hang out with friends, they would always say, “But you already went out yesterday. What’s wrong with staying home? Why do you always have to go out?” It was as if having too much fun two days in a row was off limits. If there was a big party on Friday, I would purposely make sure I stayed home Wednesday and Thursday just to increase the chances of being able to go out on Friday. I know a lot of people talk about how awful their high school years were but I was one of those lucky kids who had a really great group of friends that made me feel seen, loved, and cared for. The downside was that I couldn’t get enough of it. I was always thinking about the next hangout, the next event, the next thing. It took me all the way until my late twenties to fully appreciate the fine art of staying home and to finish my unexpected transformation into the expert homebody that I am today. 

I’m reminded of that old quote by Blaise Pascal, “All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone." 

It’s great to be out and about, but it’s also really important to learn how to stay home.  

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晚上要吃什麼？清冰箱.

“What are we eating for dinner?” “Cleaning the fridge.”

2. Be creative with what you have. I love food. Not in a foodie sense, but I get a lot of pleasure out of eating. I’m not a food snob by any stretch of the imagination. I thoroughly enjoy a Stouffer’s frozen lasagna or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich as much as I enjoy a fancy, inventive, Michelin-starred meal at Commis. What’s hard for me is when food is eaten as sustenance rather than with delight. But my parents taught me that you can always take pride in preparing a meal. No matter your ingredients.

My mom is an excellent cook. I know a lot of people think their mom is a good cook but my mom is legitimately skilled in the kitchen. There were some nights when I’d ask what was for dinner and my mom would just reply, “Cleaning the fridge.” 

Now for some, this might sound terrifying. But my mom could honestly make something out of nothing. I still crave my dad’s simple egg and garlic fried rice. My parents raised me to be able to make an tasty meal just from rummaging in the pantry and fridge for random leftover things. There were plenty of summers where lunches and snacks were an individual culinary adventure for each of us kids. I still remember the day I witnessed my baby sister add a Kraft single on top of her onion ramen noodles. She saw my confusion, shrugged and said, “You should try it, it’s good.” 

With all the hoarding folks have been doing during this pandemic, I’ve found myself feeling quite anxious. Trying to calculate if we have enough food. Estimating how many more meals we can eat at home before we need to make another grocery run. As someone who struggles with a scarcity mentality it has been hard not to panic. But then I keep reminding myself that I know how to make good food using just whatever’s available. 

You know, I was pretty disappointed with Mary H.K. Choi’s second novel, Permanent Record, given how much I enjoyed her debut novel, Emergency Contact. But I was absolutely thrilled with the shine she gave to what her protagonist calls “Hot Snacks”.

Here’s an excerpt from Permanent Record that is a beautiful ode to creative food mashups and immigrant kids everywhere: 

“I edit and post a Shin Ramyun Black video set to music. My favorite instant noodles with three flavor packets and so much garlic. It’s a classic Korean HotSnack, especially when you throw in cut-up hot dogs, frozen dumplings, extra kimchi - and this is where the artistry comes in- eggs, cheese, corn from a can, and a drizzle of sesame oil on top. And furikake if you’re feeling wealthy. The next night I put up a bacon, egg, and cheese not in a bagel but in a glazed honey bun. Laced with sriracha and pan fried on the outside. Then it’s chilaquiles with Spicy Sweet Chili Doritos and chorizo. Jamaican beef patty casserole disrespected with a smothering of Japanese curry and broiled. With Crystal Hot Sauce over the top and pickled banana peppers. I’m trolling with that one but the controversy is berserk. When I run out of old videos, I make saag paneer naanchos with Trader Joe’s frozen Indian food, and it’s a hit. Especially when I add yogurt and a thick layer of crushed-up Takis on top.”

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看連續劇.

“Watch soap operas.” 

3. Find a way to escape. I’m generally pro technology but I’ll admit I’m a little bummed at the way iPhones and iPads have made TV viewing such an individual activity. I like how Disney+ has gotten some families back to watching TV together again. Although I will say, we really coddle our kids these days. I grew up in a time when movie ratings only applied in the theaters and we watched movies with our families like Alien, The Fly, and Gremlins. We were scared out of our minds and sometimes could only watch through the cracks between our fingers covering our eyes because it was so scary. Okay, this also might be why I can’t watch horror movies as an adult. 

From a young age, my parents taught me that watching other people’s drama unfold on screen is one of the best way to escape your own drama. Some people say binge watching became a thing when the TV networks started releasing shows on DVD. Others give credit to Netflix releasing their original content a whole season at a time. But truth be told, I first learned how to binge watch from my parents. 

We would rent 30-40 VHS cassette tapes from that random spot in Bellaire Chinatown. Can you picture it? You needed multiple plastic bags to transport that many VHS tapes. 

Do you remember the one about the dying mother who needed to find homes for each of her 7 children? I don’t think it’s normal for a 10 year old to cry so much but you better believe it’s made me learn the true value of a soap opera escape hatch. 

Are you in a pandemic? Now’s the perfect time to pick up that YA novel, binge that reality show, start that kdrama, or rewatch all six seasons of The Sopranos again.

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下個禮拜會下雨.

“It’s going to rain next week.”

4. Be informed about what’s ahead. If you ask either of my parents about the weather at any given time they can reliably tell you the daily percent chance of precipitation and humidity for at least seven days out. They’ve always been this way. They would inform me of the weather at various points throughout the week. They planned their yard work and car washes around the weather forecast. There’s something about the way the weather forecast is available to everyone. And it feels like it’s just a matter of making the small extra effort to access it and gain a slight advantage. I feel like so much of the immigrant mentality is to be diligent in making the right choices to not screw yourself over and seizing opportunities whenever you can. And it wasn’t just weather but this is such an obvious example of it. 

I remember my dad saying to me once, "Can you imagine if someone decided to read every book in their local library? If they just went shelf by shelf and systematically read all the books? You could do it, you know. It’s free, it doesn’t cost any money to check out a book from the library. But no one really does it.” 

I think immigrant parents get a bad reputation for forwarding chain letters and health/science hoaxes they get on email, WeChat and Line. And in a pandemic, yes, they are definitely susceptible to misinformation, rumors and flat out untruths. But the thought behind it seems right. 

The mistrust of government leadership is actually quite relevant right now in this pandemic. Many immigrants left countries with governments that were overtly corrupt, oppressive, and used propaganda to influence its citizens. And while many Americans still take pride in living in a country that verbally champions freedom and democracy, the truth is that our government has already failed us and lied to us in many ways. During this pandemic, we cannot wait on leaders to tell us what to do. We must be diligent in reading for ourselves, seeking experts, using our critical thinking skills, and making preparations accordingly.

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會不會冷?

“Are you cold?” 

5. Check in with yourself. Check in with others. I have so many memories of my parents walking through the living room and asking me and my sisters if we were cold. It felt like they couldn’t walk past the thermostat without asking us if they needed to raise it or lower it. As if they couldn’t hear us sneeze and wonder if they needed to turn off the ceiling fan. They couldn’t see us sitting in a dim room without turning on a light for us. There are so many times I fell asleep reading on the couch and woke up with a blanket over me. Or sometimes I was fully awake doing something random, like playing Egyptian Rat Screw with my sisters (a cardgame for the uninitiated), and my mom would walk by and wordlessly drop a warm, heavy blanket over my shoulders. That’s care, y’all. Consistent, immediate action, and often without words.  

The tip here is to pay attention to your discomfort during a pandemic. There’s this immigrant stereotype of stoicism and that’s true to some degree but maybe the resilience is made possible not because of unnatural toughness but largely because immigrant parents can also be so incredibly perceptive and tender in some very tangible ways. 

When everything is chaotic around you and you’re busy multitasking these next few months, don’t ignore your needs. Notice how you’re feeling. Physically and emotionally. Where are you carrying your stress and tension in your body? You don’t have to tough it out. Oh and remember to check in with your people on how they’re feeling. Is there a light switch you can turn on for someone? 

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笑死人.

“Laugh to death.” 

6. Laugh to survive. Look, we didn’t have the perfect family or anything like that. We’ve definitely had our share of difficult times, financial stress, health issues, arguments, and pain. But my parents also really knew how to laugh and taught us to laugh with abandon. Like, bent over, tears running out of your eyes, can’t breathe kind of laughing. Our dinner table was kind of like a writer’s room. It was difficult to tell a mediocre story. You had better come prepared with a punchline or a point. It was a tough crowd, every night. On many occasions I stopped myself halfway through a story upon the self-realization that there was no real way to land the plane. Polite laughs were nowhere to be found, except perhaps a charitable smile from my baby sister. But it didn’t stop us from trying. I think my sisters and I are all probably better storytellers for it and we definitely have learned to try to bring humor into difficult times.  

I know that this pandemic is so incredibly dark and depressing that it can sometimes feel disrespectful, inappropriate, or childish to laugh at anything. But my parents taught me that you laugh to survive. Nothing is ever so dark that you can’t find a reason to laugh. And sometimes you really need to find something to laugh about.

I’ve been taking long breaks each day from major media news outlets but I have been finding such joy and laughter from the meme creators on IG and the comedic geniuses on Twitter. In Taiwanese when something’s really funny, people will say a phrase that is imperfectly translated as laugh to death. Like you killed a person it was so funny. Now’s the time to find that content or those people who will get you to laugh to death. 

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我要去挪車.

“I’m going to go re-park the cars.” 

7. Go to bed with a plan for the next morning. I grew up in a suburb of Houston, Texas where one property developer built the entire neighborhood and used the same eight or nine floor plans for all the houses but changed up the brick and trim color to keep things interesting. Most homes have a long driveway that connects a garage set near the backdoor of a home to the street. By the time I was driving, we had four cars in total -- two in the garage and two on the driveway. At the end of the day when everyone was home for the night and my dad was getting ready to go to bed, he’d announce, “I’m going to go re-park the cars.” Then we’d all kind of stop what we were doing and rearrange the order of the cars to match our morning departure schedules. This meant figuring out who was leaving when in the morning and sometimes also prompted brief check-in conversations about any changes in our usual routine. 

In a pandemic it can sometimes feel like there are a million different things to attend to and large conceptual concerns that demand your attention. But there’s something calming and centering about spending a few minutes each night thinking through specifically what needs to happen just tomorrow. Not the day after or next week. Get super tactical and specific about what tomorrow morning looks like. Check-in with your partner about any aberrations to your schedule (e.g. I have a super important conference call at 7am tomorrow) to minimize any unnecessary surprises. There’s something magical about setting up your morning that helps you rest just a little easier at night. 

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星期三我們有禱告會.

“On Wednesdays we have prayer meeting.”

8. Make time for your spirituality. Growing up my parents both had physically demanding jobs. My mom was a seamstress for many years, providing alterations at my aunt and uncle’s dry cleaners. She later worked in an elementary school cafeteria and then eventually became a classroom aide for special needs students. My dad worked at that same dry cleaners for years until he got a job at the post office. He then became a letter carrier, delivering mail on foot. The summer months were especially grueling, carrying a heavy sack of mail in 100 degree, humid weather, and walking until sweat soaked his shirts and blisters formed on his feet. They had every excuse to skip weeknight events. But unless they were sick in bed, I can’t remember a time when they missed their weekly prayer meeting with their friends from church.  

Pandemics have an unsettling way of forcing us to confront our mortality and can trigger a bunch of unresolved shit that has been bubbling underneath the surface. We’ve lost some of our usual coping mechanisms and it can be super hard to quiet the anxieties, fears, and other demons that we usually try to keep under control. This isn’t a lecture about a particular faith or belief system. It’s just a reminder to prioritize your existential questions, your interior life, and your connection to things much bigger than yourself -- whether that’s a community, a yoga practice, a faith group, a tradition, or something else. 

I have a fledgling meditation practice that I’ve been trying to strengthen since last year. When I say fledgling I mean that sometimes I bail before the ten minutes is up and check my phone. Even though I’m not very good at it yet, I can really tell the difference on the days that I make time for it. Our church started hosting its weekly Sunday service online and that’s challenging for me because a church service feels like it’s designed to be so much about the physical rhythm of going to a place, seeing faces of people I love, hearing their voices co-mingling with mine in song and in prayer, and tasting the bread and wine in my mouth. The online service was short, and just for viewing through a zoom conference call, but there was still something meaningful about setting aside that time Sunday morning, asking our wiggly kids to be present, and saying the liturgy out loud knowing that in homes all across the country, other people are doing the same. 

If things are really going to get as bad as some are predicting, we’ll need the spiritual strength to make it to the other side. Those habits are hard to form overnight. My parents taught me that you really have to make the time for your spirituality non-negotiable, so that you won’t abandon it when it’s inconvenient or when you are too tired.    

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沒辦法.

“What choice do we have?” 

9. Rise to the occasion. Whenever my parents are telling old war stories about things they had to do to get to where they are today, inevitably one of us will say, “Man that’s crazy, how did you manage to do it?” And instead of pointing to some super personality trait of theirs or some complex self-help principle, they always say, “We had no choice.” It’s not said in a defeated way, but in a posture of accepting that life can be cruel, unfair, and capricious. And that it’s not helpful to dwell too long on the why’s and how’s. My parents taught me that you can’t stay in despair mode. You eventually have to push yourself into problem solving mode and you do whatever it takes to move forward.  

This coronavirus is so unlike anything we’ve ever experienced in our lifetime. It is so unprecedented for me that my brain is having a hard time processing the reality of what’s happening right now and the rest of my lived experience. I spent the first few days of this week just being overwhelmed, anxious, angry, and irritable. At this point though, I’m in go mode. I’m doing what needs to be done for our family and taking care of business. What choice do we have? I can hear my parents saying it. One day, if we’re lucky, we’ll say it to our kids too. 

#coronavirus #immigrants #immigrant parents #survival tips #advice #covid-19 #pandemic #childhood #lifelessons

[worldcakecakecake]

On Deutschland and Italia by Lovino Valenti

Lovino writes a series of blog entries on the relationship between Germany and Italy as he deals with a move to Hamburg, his brother’s wedding, and his budding romance (which he denies) to the infuriating Gilbert Beilschmidt.

Hahaha…hahahaha…hahaha…as you can probably tell, I have absolutely no control. Here, have yet ANOTHER new story that I have had here in the works for a while too. Another new pairing, prumano, which I admit is another of my favorites in the fandom and this is my diving into it as well.

This is done as a gift to a dear friend, Nikki, one of their accounts here at tumblr being @ask-the-icelandic-little. She has helped me several time with the stories, especially with the German in them and even helped me to write a letter so I could get my year visa here in Germany. She has been a great follower and friend and thus I honor her with this story. It is set in Hamburg as it her home and the place we managed to meet and spend some wonderful time together.

I hope this story is a well enough gift and hope other readers enjoy it as well.

Fair warning: Lovino is incredibly biased in writing these articles and can write very negatively about Germany. Things can even come as negative even for Italy and I apologize incredibly if you are deeply offended or you do not agree with the mention. I do admit that Lovino is MEANT to be this biased about Germany and I’m just exploring his thought process during the situation. But, I am extremely willing to hear better accuracies and how I can improve Lovino’s blogs. So please have no fear in messaging.

When it comes to updating, same as some of the last stories I’ve posted.

                                                     Chapter 1

On Deutschland and Italia.

Germania and the Roman Empire.

Aldrich Beilschmidt and Augusto Valenti.

 The Roman Empire shared a northern border with Germania. Both groups trained and lived to fight, one making wars and pillaging enough to be considered one of the strongest empires in our history, the other the very one that brought this power its end. But before that, the Romans and Germanics lived in relative peace. Although the Romans kept trying to push into their land, Germanics themselves kept seeking entrance into the empire, wanting to live as Romans did, joining their armies, even seeking marriage. At first, the Romans denied many of these chances and it took many years of fighting and other casualties for the Romans to start giving them these permissions. Germanics talked often of the Romans, wanting to be like them, getting their items that they used for their own. And it was shared, for Romans were just as wondered by their brightness of their hair, eyes and skin, their own forms of battle, even their culture, which was extensively written about and it’s the reason we have information of the Germanics in the first place. The downside is that it’s all written by Romans.

 These Germanics settled well in the territory, some even reaching high positions to lead even their own groups. Sadly, it was throughout this that they managed to get enough men to sack Rome, a dwindling of the empire beginning since then.

 Aldrich Beilschmidt, esteemed for owning the famous ‘Beilschmidt Services’, the high demanded mechanic shop with the best state of the art technology that can get your car fixed like new. Augusto Valenti, founder of the restaurants ‘Antico’, the most acclaimed Italian restaurant in all of Hamburg, perhaps even Germany and I’m not writing that simply because he’s my grandfather.

 These two figures hold a friendship that many have watched for years. They went to school together, traveled across Europe and even Africa and Asia together, they were the best man for each other’s wedding and each is a godfather to one of their children.

 Who better to begin on this special series of articles about the relationship between Germany and Italy than two men of experience and stories that can well represent this great empire and these proud tribes.

 They met in 1949, through a still reconstructing Europe after the second world war, in Denmark, where they were both attending a specialized boarding school. They formed a peculiar friendship, a shield to all the insults of ‘Nazi scum’ or ‘Mussolini mafia’ that they were shot at everybody, bonding over honey buns and which kid was bullying them more.

 As the years passed, they managed rooming together, even took respecting trips to Germany and Italy to know their countries and even their families. Each adopted the other, both growing a relationship that was more like brothers each day.

 On 1962, Aldrich wedded Louis Oelberg and Augusto, Helena Stefanidis, only by a mere month apart. Although Augusto and Helena only had a single daughter, my mother, Renata Valenti, Aldrich and Louis had three. The two elder boys, Marcellus and Karl Beilschmidt, and their youngest daughter, Monika Beilschmidt, who was born around the same time as Renata. Aldrich became Renata’s godfather, as Augusto to Monika, these two little girls continuing well that friendship, uniting the families through feasts, dinners, chats over the phone, their balconies, their front doors, through every step of their children’s growth, through the death of Helena, for when Marcellus left to Austria and Karl to Switzerland following love, trips, graduations, weddings and any other new births. It was following this friendship that Augusto established himself for some years here in Hamburg, Aldrich offering help to get Augusto opening that restaurant he often spoke and even dreamt of having outside of Italy. It is the reason why I came here when I was three and lived for about two years, before homesickness attacked well my family and we were once again brought back to Italy for many years before…once again, Hamburg, Germany, called us back…because there’s nothing in the world that can stop my grandfather’s ultimate epic romance with Aldrich Beilschmidt.

 Now you must be wondering if I, Augusto Valenti’s eldest grandson, heir to the family’s power, has continued well this long family friendship to the great Beilschmidts. I’m sorry, but this is one of the many things I disappoint my family in.

 To be honest, I can’t stand any of them, but if there’s one that takes the throne of holding my ultimate hatred, it’s Gilbert Beilschmidt.

  There was Monika Beilschmidt and Renata Valenti, exchanging gossip, snacks and any new events happening in the city. Their two youngest sons, Ludwig Beilschmidt and Feliciano Valenti, both two years old, played in a sand box, trying to build castles or pretend foods with their toy molds, a corner just for them which both the mothers could watch them from. Lovino Valenti, Renata’s eldest, chose to sit by his mother, bored, pouting, hands wrapped on his chest angry and even vengeful. The four-year-old kept his heavy stare on the monkey bars, on the big slides and high levels to climb on, with countless games or fake horses to ride, and yet he was not part of it, as any boy his age should.

 “Lovino, carino, go on, play,” Renata had tried to usher him, but Lovino would just pout more, wrapping his arms more strongly around him, as if trying to chain himself to the bench.

 “Gilbert is out there. I’m sure he’d love for you to play with him.” It was just at the mention that a loud laugh echoed across the playground, said albino boy having found a way to climb the biggest pole, hanging himself from it and waving around a large toy sword, seeming to claim the entire area as his own.

 Monika groaned and hid her face in shame in her hands while Renata giggled.

 Lovino didn’t want to mention that he was the real reason he refused to stand up, so he just remained as silent as he had arrived to the park.

 “Or you can play with Antonio and Francis,” Renata continued to suggest.

 Both these boys kept a further slide and small climbing rock to themselves, taking rounds and finishing by picking some of their dolls and action figures they brought to play, all laid across the sand just for them.

 Lovino sighed, guessing they will do, finally standing and making his reach. He kept out of eye sight from the raging albino, hiding well until he reached Antonio and Francis’s playing domain.

 “Hi,” he shyly introduced himself.

 Antonio perked and gave a large smile, running over and even embracing Lovino tightly, something the other was already used to, so he didn’t bother in pushing him off as he usually did, especially when he was trying to avoid getting a lot of attention…thus getting Gilbert’s attention.

 “Hi, Lovino! Are you okay? You look kind of scared,” the young Spanish boy worried.

 “Can I…can I play with you and Francis?” He asked yet with that very fear.

 “Of course, you can! Right now we’re trying to solve a murder mystery! Someone killed Dusky the mime and we think it was Dawny the clown!”

 And Lovino joined, partaking in all the action they imagined, using well the slide, the rock climbing, the toys, creating an array that had even others joining. Many began to notice, adults thinking it sweet, other children wanting to partake, even those that played along with Gilbert.

 “So, it was Ernest the bat this entire time,” Elizabeta wondered as she saw from one of the top levels of the jungle gym.

 “They shouldn’t have interrogated Spotti like they did,” Sadiq added.

 “What are you guys staring at anyways?” Gilbert finally dropped from the ceiling, getting between them and wanting a better watch. “What are they doing?” He demanded to know.

 “Solving a murder.”

 “They just finished interrogating Ernest the bat and they’re going to arrest him.” Sadiq pointed to Lovino, who for now, did the guard that was taking the bat plush away, meant to be hidden under the slide as the pretend prison.

 “Oh look, Lovino is playing,” Gilbert grinned evilly.

 “Leave him alone, Gilbert,” Elizabeta warned, but Gilbert scoffed.

 “I think someone should break in and free Ernest,” he decided, jumping over the rails, sliding down a pole, reaching the ground and running off to the scene.

 Lovino had just placed the plush, pretending to close an imaginary cell. “And you’re staying there forever!” He declared, thinking he could turn to deal with the injuries Justin the bear had suffered in the heist. He was completely unprepared for when a new presence slid well under the slide, arising dust into the air, making Lovino cough and wave his hands trying to get clearance. When it all settled, Ernest was not in his prison anymore, instead, in the high arms of Gilbert Beilschmidt at the other side of the slide.

 “It is not over! Ernest is free again! And he will not rest until he has his vengeance,” Gilbert shouted.

 “No! He has to stay in there!” Lovino went to get it back, but Gilbert was taller and could keep the plush high in the air, not a reach for Lovino no matter how hard he jumped.

 “Give it back! Give it back!”

 “No, I want to keep him!” Gilbert even went and embraced the plush.

 “He’s not yours!”

 “Not yours either!”

 “You weren’t even supposed to play!”

 “I can if I want to! You can’t boss me around!” They kept turning and jumping across the area, Gilbert even beginning to laugh loudly at Lovino’s continued attempts that were foolish now.

 “Why can’t you ever leave me alone?!” Lovino was getting furious, his grasps now more harsh, dangerous, his nails seeming to grow into claws now.

 “Cause, it’s fun! You always get so funny when you get like this!” And there was that laugh, evil and haunting in Lovino’s mind, annoying, and there was nothing more that he wanted than for it to stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

 One of those grasps became a push. It wasn’t hard, it was only a little touch to Gilbert’s stature, but it created an instant halting, Gilbert staring at the area he pushed for some sort of marking. There was nothing, but to Gilbert, the fact that Lovino dared touch him, was mark and insult enough. The glare he grew was predatory-like, his grip on Ernest the Bat harsh, Antonio and Francis fearing he would break it from where they stood staring.

 “You’re not…supposed…to touch me!” He shouted, throwing Ernest to the sand.

 “Then just leave me alone!” Lovino dared come forward with another push, but that very extend of his arms, Gilbert used them to throw him to the ground, beside the plush. The other kids scurried back in fear.

 Before Lovino was given a chance to stand, Gilbert was on him, kicking, punching, scratching and Lovino answered the same way. Children called, the scene one that began to take attention, Monika and Renata noticing, having to jump instantly to stop both their sons’ fighting. By the time both the mothers had departed them, both the boys were already covered in new cuts and bruises, Lovino sending a kick for another, Gilbert his own, both trying to break from their mothers’ hold to continue.

 “Gilbert! Gilbert! Stop! That is enough!” Monika shouted commandingly, having to embrace his whole body to get him to still any angered movement.

 “Lovino! Lovino! Calm down! Calm down! Stop this!” Renata in turn had to pick him up, hold him to his shoulder, rub his back, a lulling that always made its effect.

 They were causing a large stare, one that the mothers were beginning to find intrusive, and so both, with shared glances of apology, decided that it was best to leave and talk about this with their sons back in their own homes. As to not have anymore interactions, they quickly picked their things, having to pull apart Ludwig and Feliciano and leave hurriedly. Both the toddlers complained and cried, making it more difficult with their elders glaring and pouting as they made their way to their respective cars.

  Renata lived with her father, husband and two sons in the apartments above the restaurant, a pretty active street in the city almost as lively as it had been in Rome. Renata greeted the waiters and workers she knew worked this shift before taking the brightly red painted door that led upwards, the three meeting the delightful scent of freshly made lunch that even coated the stairs. Renata placed Feliciano on the ground, the little boy confidently, although with some difficulty, making the rest of his climb up.

 “Pasta! Pasta! Pasta!” He shouted as he ran towards the kitchen, crushing into the hold of his grandfather, who smiled, taking him up in his arms to kiss and blow raspberries on his stomach.

 “Yes! I have made lots of pasta for you and your brother to stuff yourselves!”

 Feliciano celebrated and Augusto laughed, expecting the same smile and eagerness from his older grandson, but he entered the room maddened, looking away from even all the tomatoes he had placed on the table.

 “And what’s with that face, piccolo pomodoro?” Augusto neared, wanting his embraces and kisses now, but Lovino huffed and moved back.

 “I hate Gilbert!” He proclaimed loudly.

 Augusto sighed, gazing over to Renata to hear a better explanation.

 “The usual,” she rolled her eyes.

 “What did he do this time?” Augusto picked up Lovino to sit on the counter, so he could tell his story at eye level.

 “I was playing with Antonio and Francis, we were solving this murder and had finally caught the culprit! We send him to prison, but Gilbert wanted to get him out! I told him he wasn’t supposed to, that he wasn’t even supposed to play and that he had to leave me alone. He pushed me and then we started fighting. Look what he did!” He raised the sleeve of his jacket to reveal his new bruises, which made Augusto lament, getting some ointments and napkins to help cure the area.

 “Well…at least I know you’re perfectly capable of protecting yourself,” Augusto sighed, even if it meant that he was fighting with one of his best friend’s grandson.

 “I gave it to him good, Nonno! He’ll have marks for days!” He exalted.

 “It’s not something to be proud of, Lovino. I would much prefer if you two actually…sat down and played nicely. Is it too much to ask?”

 “Yes it is! All Gilbert does is make fun of me and call me mean things,” Lovino pouted.

 “You’re right, but then you continue in his game and it just gets worst. How about next time, you compliment him or suggest something you can both do together,” he tried to create peace.

 “No!” Lovino decided, sure.

 “Come on…” Augusto wanted to convince him.

 “No! No! No! No! No!” Lovino shook his head fiercely, turning so harshly he began leaning to the side, almost falling from the top of the counter if Augusto haven’t gotten him right.

 “If you’re not going to, at least try to behave more whenever were with the Beilschmidts.”

 “I don’t like any of them, Nonno, not even Ludwig!”

 “He’s only two years old!”

 “Still don’t like him!”

 “But were all such good friends with them. We can’t just stop seeing them because you don’t like them.”

 “I would make me really happy if you did…” he saddened, looking down.

 “Lovino, mio caro.” Augusto took his chin, raising his hazel eyes back to his bright brown ones. “You don’t have to like them if you don’t want to, but you have to understand what they mean to us. When you’re older, and you’re no longer living in this household, you can do whatever you want and not see any of their faces again.” Lovino glowed at such wonderful days far in the future. “But for now, bare what you can, and try not to start a fight with Gilbert every time you’re in the same room.”

 And Lovino remained silent, adverting his eyes in a way that made Augusto know that no such things was happening any time soon. He sighed, he would just have to repeat this speech on and on until he could finally understand.

 “Go wash up and then we can have lunch, all right?”

 “Mhm!” His smile and energy was true as he got down from the counter and headed quickly.

 Augusto sighed and wondered on about what he could do.

  On Deutschland and Italia.

Union and Betrayals.

Leaving Hamburg.

 Yes, Germany and Italy have a vast history together that could might as well start with Ancient Rome and the Germanic tribes. Something that constantly repeats between these two countries is incredible moments of union…and then those of ultimate betrayal. Sure, both were in the ‘I hate Austria’ club and parts of Italy were part of the once Holy Roman Empire and the German confederation, but we can’t forget that in both world wars, they would begin allied…only to end betraying each other in massacres. Despite this, they formed an alliance during the cold war and now they are both leading members of the European Union.

 Such a thing to ruin the relationship with the Beilschmidts and the Valenti has not happened, but the closest that came to it was when we had to leave Hamburg about twenty years ago.

  Such departure was celebrated, in a fine dinner that both Gilbert Beilchmidt and Lovino Valenti were forced to wear tight suits, fitted for their small figures. They both spent much of the celebration trying to remove what they could…only to have their mothers tighten or put back whatever they left in the tables or chairs. With whatever fun they tried to find, they still ended spending much of the celebration just sitting in different tables, pouting and talking about how they wanted to leave.

 In the three years Lovino had lived in Hamburg, Aldrich and Augusto had constantly repeated the advice to both their grandsons, yet neither had done fair to their words. Their fights, problems and hatred only increased in number, in fact, they only glared at each other whenever they had to meet during the feast. At one point it seemed like a competition, since they would sit for minutes just sending hatred with their eyes. Aldrich and Augusto couldn’t keep their arms off from each other, Monika and Renata couldn’t stop talking, and Ludwig and Feliciano wouldn’t stop crying. Gilbert and Lovino wanted to get away from each other.

 Finally, at deep late hours, Renata had come to place her hands gently on Lovino’s shoulders, after having them clean the tears that fell down her cheeks. “Ready to go?”

 For once in the entire dinner, did Lovino actually smile, sure that that glare would be the last he would give to Gilbert Beilschmidt, as well as the last time he would see his annoying white hair, viola eyes and ultimate paleness.

 On Deutschland and Italia.

The Eurozone Crisis.

Returning to Hamburg.

 Germans like to believe that they are the knights in shining armor coming to save a damsel in distress Italy from some far-off tower in our current crisis. If you dare tell me that, you’re earning yourself an easy punch in the face or an ultimate cursing that will be felt across your entire lineage.

 This is incredibly untrue, in fact, Italy has been helping countries like Greece, Spain and Ireland more so than Germany has done. I believe the Germans made all this ploy to get cheaper shopping sprees and take our companies for themselves.

 Let me make this clear, I hate Germany, and I could easily make an entire new blog dedicated to my desire to burn the place to the ground. Then why return? Why after twenty years did I decide to return to the city that all I can remember about is nightmares, cold, bad food and an annoying albino making it worst. Easy, because Germany could give me an opportunity that Italy tragically could not. My story is not the first to happen to an Italian, it is a constantly repeated tale that you can find in any other Italian blog, or you can hear any young Italian say.

 Germany is not only taking our goods and money. They’re also taking Italy’s brightest minds. Why does this happen? Easy…because Italy is falling apart and we are left with no other choice than to leave for England, or the U.S., or of course, Germany.

 Italy owes more than two trillion euros and whenever we think we have that money, it just suddenly disappears (corruption, obviously).

 So I’m left with no other choice than to come back and accept this barbarian country as my new home.

 I’m twenty-five, independent even when living above my grandfather’s restaurant with the rest of my family in the same building, my own job, my own car, my own wishes, plans…which means I at least don’t have to face those disgusting Beilschmidts again.

  He kicked the door open, finally bringing in the last box, dropping it to the floor and then pushing it to join the others. He groaned knowing he had to unbox and organize. He had just arrived and was in no mood to deal with anything else, wondering if he should just take a nap. When he heard the exciting and rushing steps coming up the staircase, he knew that chance for rest was not going to occur at all.

 “You are finally here!” His grandfather just crashed into the apartment, hands all over the place, his body seeming to bring an entire parade with him.

 Lovino rolled his eyes but readied his opened hands to take and accept the hug Augusto always greeted him with. He was spun, with a couple of bones cracked before he was placed back on the ground.

 “So, have you started?” Augusto was too wondered as he gazed about the apartment, empty but for a couple of appliances.

 “No, and I don’t think I want to today.” The only thing Lovino settled on taking out was a bean chair, throwing it in what would be the center of the living room, then falling upon it, closing his eyes and settling himself already for a nap.

 “Don’t be such a lazy ass!” Augusto scolded and clapped his hands to keep him awake. “Come on, I’ll help you! Where do we start?” He went ahead and opened the nearest stacked box, a fragile one with a lot of flower decorated plates Lovino had gotten in Sicily.

 How his almost eighty-year-old grandfather could so readily take a pile and place them already in their cabinet with energy to continue was beyond him, he was still not moving from his spot. He took out a pair of sunglasses and decided he would settle no matter what his grandfather would do. Augusto was not accepting it though, and as he turned around to get to the other boxes, he kicked the bean bag until Lovino was tumbling over to the ground.

 “What the hell?!” Lovino shouted in his usual angry fires.

 “Come on! Let’s get to it! The sooner you have everything, the sooner you can get to taking all the siestas you want.” Augusto had learned to be unfazed by it all.

 Pouting, Lovino stood, angrily kicking the bean bag himself, throwing the sunglasses and opening harshly a box of decorated cups.

 “You know, when Feliciano had first moved here, he couldn’t keep still. He had his whole apartment ready that weekend to accept guests,” Augusto recalled as he found some vases that could be used at the counter to decorate.

 “Nonno, it was extremely obvious he did it to impress Ludwig and to end up getting fucked that night.”

 “Your younger brother is an angel who will not do such things. He told me he was going to wait till marriage and I’m sure of his word.”

 Lovino rolled his eyes and didn’t bother continuing forward. “Whatever. Feliciano was excited to come here, I’m not.”

 “Yet you’re here.”

 “Because I had no other choice. If it was up to me, I would still be in Naples right now.” There was such sadness in his voice as he picked some books to place on a nice shelf in the living room.

 “And I’m sure that there will be many other chances for you to return. Hamburg has a lot to offer you as a beautiful young Italian man.”

 To be honest, Lovino loved it when his grandfather complimented like he did, as if he was presenting him to an important crowd. For a moment he could forget about that weigh of stress, happily moving about boxes now, trying to get more kitchen related items.

 “After you have everything you need from here, something bright will await you once again in Naples,” Augusto was sure as he placed jars now.

 “I want to be back by the end of the year,” Lovino had promised himself.

 “And you will, but for now, try to be happy here. All will work well, you’ll see.”

                                                                                               next chapter >

#on deutschland and italia by lovino valenti #prumano #prumano fanfiction #prumano fanfic #prumano fic

[hillbillyhippiemusicreview]

POST #24- J’s Year in Review 2019

Jesus Christ it’s 36 degrees and dark at 5:30. The most depressing time of year for me. I owe my friends a few reviews and keep putting them off. I’ll do them tomorrow. Hell, maybe when I have time over the weekend I’ll get that one out I promised a few weeks ago. Here I am, sitting on the couch trying to figure out which record I want to highlight next. It’s a daunting task. A lesson I’ve learned over the past year. I need to get those reviews out but my mind (and ears) get the best of me. What do I do instead? I listen to a couple of records and skip right to the end. What I mean by end is that cliche year in review article that all music journalists put out with their favorite artists, songs, records, and shows of the year. This is all new to me. Shortly after the new year I decided it was time for me to get in the game. I don’t have much to offer but I wanted to put my perspective on paper. My first article was a piece about Tyler Childers raising awareness and getting a large donation of bottled water for the citizens of Martin County, Kentucky. I knew about Martin County. I didn’t know how deep it went. It wasn’t the meet and greet and small solo set that made me want to write about my experience. It was Tyler’s words. It was the raw emotion and the choked up words that inspired me to be a writer. I wanted as many people to know about this event as I could possibly get the word to. Be it 5, 10, 20 or even 30 people that read the article and learned about the plight of the citizens of Martin County have been in for years. That maybe 5, 10, 20 or even 30 people that may learn how to contact their representative and ask questions. I hope it inspires people to learn about their community and lend a helping hand to those in need. That event was last year, but it inspired my path this year.

Let me begin by saying that I have met some of the most amazing people over the past 12 months. I will touch on as many of those people as much as I can. I am going to highlight the music that has moved me over the same amount of time. I’m gonna forget people. I’m sorry in advance. I could put a list of my top 10 albums out but that just wouldn’t be fair. To be honest, there is one album that stands head and shoulders above all others. It’s not even a competition. How do you compete with amazing art? I look at it like its a steady stream of good shit coming out and keeping my playlist full.

Album of the Year (Any Genre)

Sound and Fury - Sturgill Simpson

Why?

It’s f*cking amazing. Earth shattering. Ground breaking. LOUD!

Sturgill Simpson took everything you thought you knew about him and his music, threw it out the window of his muscle car, and backed over it about a hundred times. This man does not give a shit. I screwed up on my first listen. There are two ways this album should be heard. 1) On a turntable with the volume turned as loud as it can possibly go. 2) Watching the accompanying anime movie with the volume turned as loud as it can possibly go. Unfortunately I did neither. Most of my first listen was a track at a time on my phone or in my truck. Dead. Wrong. If I had it to do over again I would most definitely start with the anime.

I get it. Anime is not for everyone. If I could give someone a starting point with anime, it would most definitely be Sound and Fury. This album is The Wall of our generation. After my first listen I posted, “Album of the Year Any Genre”. I fully stand by that assessment.

Favorite Albums of the Year

This is where I will most definitely make someone mad or make myself mad for leaving off someone who deserves to be included.

Home - Billy Strings

Favorite Tracks: Away From The Mire and Watch It Fall

Country Squire - Tyler Childers

Favorite Tracks - Creeker and Peace of Mind

Stranger In The Alps - Buffalo Wabs and the Price Hill Hustle

Favorite Tracks: Buffalo’s Canon and Stewball

Between The Country - Ian Noe

Favorite Tracks: Barbara’s Song and Methhead

Seneca - Charles Wesley Godwin

Favorite Tracks: Hardwood Floors and Seneca Creek

Chris Knight - Almost Daylight

Favorite Tracks: I’m William Callahan and Go On

The Wind - Eric Bolander

Favorite Tracks: Closer to that Flame and Ghost

Josh Nolan - Kind Heart to Follow

Favorite Tracks: Makin’ Eyes and The Honeysuckle

Nicholas Jamerson - Floyd County All Star

Favorite Tracks: Patience and Floyd County All Star

High Expectations - Sean Whiting

Favorite Tracks: Melody and Misery

Songs Only A Mother Could Love - Wayne Graham

Favorite Tracks: By and By and Every Evil Thing

On The Hilltop - Nic Allen and the Troubled Minds

Favorite Tracks: Cheap Pills and Wine and For Heaven’s Sake

Cheap Silver and Solid Country Gold - Mike and the Moonpies

Favorite Tracks: Cheap Silver and Danger

The Gospel - The Local Honeys

Favorite Tracks: Amazing Grace and Let the Church Roll On

Full Moon/Heavy Light - Ona

Favorite Tracks: Young Forever and True Emotion

Trial and Error - Vintage Pistol

Favorite Tracks: Lay It Down and Leave Me Behind

The Pilot Light - Derek Spencer

Favorite Tracks: The Witches of Appalachia and Lit By Moonlight

We Fall, We Break - Walter DeBarr

Favorite Tracks - Wicked Eyes and We Fall, We Break

Alive at Hillbilly Central - Arthur Hancock

Favorite Tracks - Take Me Back To The Country and Kenton’s Outdoor Seating Area

Cuz I Love You - Lizzo

Favorite Tracks: Truth Hurts and Juice

I have to give a shoutout to some amazing visual artists for their work on some of these records. Jimbo Valentine and Colonel Tony Moore did an absolutely amazing job on the Country Squire album art. With Valentine’s futuristic hillbilly aura and Moore’s gritty comic book background, their collaboration is my favorite album artwork in some time. Honorable mention goes to Nashville Tattoo Artist, Squishy Eyes. His work for Billy Strings’ home is colorful and visually stimulating. I definitely want some skin art done by this guy!

Next. Let’s talk festivals. Jon Grace burst onto the scene this year putting on not one but two music festivals. Jon and I go way back. We’ve been to country shows, rock shows, heavy metal shows, nu metal shows, Ozzfest. You name it and we were probably in the vicinity. Laurel Cove Music Festival was Bell County’s first foray into the music festival scene and it started with a flash of lightning, then another, then a shit load of rain. An outdoor music festival being held at a beautiful natural amphitheater turned in to an indoor show in the conference room at Pine Mountain State Park. It was a tough decision to make, but in the end, it was worth every minute. The lineup came together in short order and provided us with two days of blistering sets. Jon then put together the FREE Cumberland Mountain Fall Festival in downtown Middlesboro, KY. Featuring local and regional talent for another two days of fun and music. 2019 set the bar high for live music in Bell County.

Festival of the Red is located in the heart of the Red River Gorge area and put on three days of camping and music. The only downside was that I was only there on Saturday. My buddies Blake and Dave packed in the truck with Dave’s little boy Waylon to make the two hour trip to Slade to catch up with old friends and new.

Master Musician Festival is a yearly mainstay in Somerset, KY. Tiffany Finley and company put together a stellar lineup year after year. My wife and I went for the day on Saturday and returned home with memories that we still laugh about months later. I first want to give a shoutout to the staff of MMF for enduring a brutal storm and having the integrity to cancel the headlining act in the face of severe storms. We were devastated that we missed out on a Jason Isbell set, but we are also blessed that we were not injured in a stupid storm. The party rolled on to Jarfly and into the wee hours of the morning.

This brings me to the granddaddy of them all.

Kickin’ It On The Creek.

The Roberts do it up right on Ross’ Creek. The 5th Annual Kickin’ It On The Creek held on Byron Roberts’ farm is something every music fan should experience once in their life. I went to Irvine in June to attempt to buy tickets in person. I left the house Saturday morning around 4:30. My anxiety hit when I got into town and parked and saw the line stretched nearly a half mile down the road. What do you do though? You hop in line! My friends Jon and Daniel arrived about an hour and a half ahead of me and were about 15 people in front of me. Throughout the morning we made conversation with both veterans and newbies alike. The vibe was jubilant. It was almost like a family reunion atmosphere, and this was just the presale. Long story short, about 3 hours later we get to the front of the line when Byron exits the store to announce the tickets were sold out. My friends who were 15 people in front of me were the last group in. It made me ill to realize I was that close. Never fret, the next step was an online sale that supposedly sells out in seconds. Over the next few weeks, karma would smile on us as we were able to purchase enough tickets so everyone in our group of friends were able to procure tickets. Now the wait.

I’m not a festival virgin by no means. I was fortunate enough to go to three Bonnaroo festivals in the early 00’s. Needless to say, I had an idea of the festival life. However, I can’t begin to explain the giddiness that my wife and I felt driving to the festival that Thursday evening in late September. We made it just in time to set up camp and catch Bedford Band and one of the acts I most looked forward to, Buffalo Wabs and the Price Hill Hustle. The family atmosphere was in full effect. We were home. On Friday we were treated to sets by a variety of artists handpicked by the Roberts family. Favorites included Luna and the Mountain Jets, Crownover, Laid Back Country Picker, Green Genes, Jericho Woods, Vintage Pistol, Magnolia Boulevard, John R Miller and the Engine Lights, Town Mountain, and the ‘Lectric Wooks. Saturday favorites included Abe Partridge, Padre Paul Handleman, Wayne Graham, William Matheny, Senora May, Ona, The Wooks, Arlo McKinley, and festival headliner Tyler Childers. I’m already thinking about KIOTC 2020.

This year was magical. I heard amazing music, saw amazing music, introduced my children to amazing music, and most importantly shared with with my wife. I met lifelong friends and have several shows to look forward to in 2020.

Upcoming shows I’ll be attending are The Wooks, Arlo McKinley, Eric Bolander, Charlie Woods and Deep Hollow, and Dave Shoemaker at the Bell Theater on December 21st. 2020 brings Morgan Wade/Kelsey Waldon, Town Mountain/Buffalo Wabs/Geno Seale, Billy Strings, and Sturgill Simpson/Tyler Childers. The festival circuit is also ramping up with dates set for Laurel Cove 2020.

-Josh Trosper

*This is an independent review. The Hillbilly Hippie Music Review was not compensated for this review.

*The opinions expressed are solely that of the author(s).