#door talks

[doorplays]

My Top Ten Games That I Played in 2023

Hello! 2023 has come and gone. I’ve played a decent amount of games across the year. Now that it’s 2024, I want to look back at the games I played and how they affected me. A retrospective! Now that some time has passed between my playing of a game and now, how has that time aged my opinion? I want to know! And I have decided to do it in the form of a top ten list!

This top ten list is NOT the best games released in the year 2023, but rather, the games that I’ve enjoyed the most when I played them during the year of 2023. Most of these games were released during earlier years. What matters more to me really is discovering how these games have left their mark on me.

So thus! Let’s find out!

10: The Forgotten City (2021)

Read my review here!

I liked its premise. The many shall suffer for the sins of the one. You explore this forgotten city, find out more about its inhabitants, and discover that you’ll have to crack open mysteries upon mysteries. There’s a fair amount of philosophical discussion here, and the characters are well-written. My main qualm about the game back then was its horror elements, as I was and still am averse to jump scares. Surprisingly though, I realized while writing this review that I completely forgot about that aspect of the game! Funny, that. This is considering the fact that I had to get a friend to go on voice chat with me so that I have company playing this game…

While I liked the game, I found it difficult to remember specifics about it other than the feeling of philosophy and mystery. So I guess those were my lasting impressions of this game specifically!

9: PRODUCER 2021 (2022)

Read my review here!

The gameplay of this game is some standard Visual Novel stuff, but what left an impression on me is its commentary on the artistic process. It is a rather cynical game with a lot to say. I related at points even if I don’t really consider myself an artist. I like its discussions about compost, of all things. What I liked most about this game, I think, was its soundtrack. A lot of bops! The soundtrack is the one that left the most lasting impression on me, though it’s somewhat easy to do that with soundtracks as I can just save them on my Spotify playlists if they’re on there. A nice two hours of gaming, in my opinion!

8: Mask of the Rose (2023)

Read my review here!

It is rare that I get ensnared by romance stories. I backed this game on Kickstarter cos I am fond of Failbetter’s games. I played it because I enjoy their stories. I didn’t expect to fall in love with so many characters! Rachel, with her sense of self and her writing. Archie, with his good nature. Harjit, with his watchful eyes. Griz, with her determination. There are just so many people to romance and know more of.

I still think of Rachel from time to time. She’s hot and is a person who knows what she wants. I like that sense of certitude in a person.

It’s nice as well to revisit the Fallen London universe. A relatively modern world with an eldritch vibe… it feels unique to me even years later. Re-experiencing it with a dating sim is not how I expected to do it but it is nonetheless very welcome.

7: Forklift Load (2020)

Read my review here!

Do NOT play this game on mouse and keyboard. Play this with controller!!!

This game really made me feel like I am an utter newbie forced to pilot a forklift. It is a zany concept, but I actually had fun with it. It feels somewhat like a puzzle game, trying to figure out how to go from point A to point B while lifting whatever with your forklift.

What I didn’t expect was for the story to be as cerebral as it was. It goes into some philosophical stuff, and the vibes of the game was unexpectedly calming, even if the gameplay itself was frustrating. I… am uncomfortable with regards to this game’s ending, but overall this game was an interesting experience. The concept was fun enough, and seeing it applied in practice was fun enough for me.

6: Betrayal at Club Low (2022)

Read my review here!

This was SUCH a fun game. The bombastic music, the fun visuals, the wacky humor, it combines into a world that’s fun to explore. And the gameplay is very fun! Rolling the dice against various challenges makes for interesting decision making, as you also have to manipulate your own stats to stack the odds in your favor. And the pizza dice are a fun mechanic, while also being a funny concept in and of itself. This is just a very creative game from top to bottom, and it makes me wanna experience more games from the dev in the same vein. It just feels so nonstandard yet so fun, which is why it left such an impression on me.

5: Elsinore (2019)

Read my review here!

Turning Hamlet into a timeloop game was a very inspired choice in my opinion. And it works! Though I guess it worked more for me because this is my first time actually experiencing Hamlet. I enjoyed the characters, their stories, the varied endings, and the unique take on the age-old story.

This game added a lot of stories that didn’t exist in the original, and I think I appreciated that decision a lot. It’s like updating a story for modern audiences. Though I’d argue that this is a wildly different story once you play enough of it. Nonetheless, when I think Hamlet, I will think of this game, and that is pretty much as lasting of an impression as you can get.

4: Hypnospace Outlaw (2019)

Read my review here!

The 1990’s were 30 years ago!!! I still can’t believe it! And yet here I am, feeling nostalgic for the computer era of the late 90’s. The forums, the pop-ups, the wacky wallpapers, the music. This is such a good game with well-crafted vibes.

And the story!! It feels so real. I think nowadays we rarely think about the simple fact that there is an actual person behind an online persona, but this game can make you confront that reality really well. It’s nice seeing the little quirks people have with designing their own sites, making their own posts, and dealing with their version of the internet. It makes the story hit harder. I’ll think of this game fondly as the perfect time capsule of the past and as a reminder that even the little things matter.

3: The Case of the Golden Idol (2022)

Read my review here!

I’ve been looking for a game that scratched the same itch as Return of the Obra Dinn (2018) and this game fit the bill perfectly. I really enjoyed the way I had to discover all the evidence, and then having to piece them together to find out what actually happened. And the fact that solving the mystery was ALSO the way the story was told was something I enjoyed a lot. Storytelling AND gameplay neatly folded in together! I’m sure the formula could be improved upon further, but I’m very much excited for more games like this from the devs. I still have a couple of DLC’s from this game to play too!

2: IMMORTALITY (2022)

Read my review here!

This is such a gripping game. I played this with a bunch of other friends, and watching the movies, experiencing the twists and turns… The simple act of making us interface with the game via the match cut mechanic gives the game a certain mystery, as clicking objects to do the match cut with lead you to random clips. Simple gameplay, but leads to a great experience.

The story is very thrilling, and piecing it together was very fun. It’s like a puzzle game where you have to find each puzzle piece, only that you didn’t know what the overall puzzle picture was and discovering each puzzle piece led you to an existential crisis.

This game made me think about the creative process more deeply than the other games I mentioned here. It made me think of the ways each of us want to leave a mark on this world, to live beyond our own mortality. It made me think of the costs of such ways… This game will be on my mind for a while.

1: Chicory: A Colorful Tale (2021)

Read my review here!

When I started writing for this game in this article, I just… stopped. Not because I have nothing to say, but because I feel like the effect of this game on me feels… bigger than I thought. This is a game about art, about the artistic process, and also about… depression, burnout, and trauma. I did not expect that getting into the game the first time, but it was good timing for me in a way, as I was dealing with these things in varying measure. It was a therapeutic experience, playing this coloring book of the game while dealing with these topics.

What’s more, it was actually nice getting to color stuff and draw stuff with my brush! Just coloring the various areas in was soothing. And in game, there are actual art classes where you are shown various artpieces that you have to recreate. I enjoyed making my own spin of some art shown in the classes.

Playing this game was an unexpectedly deep experience for me. I feel like it helped me with my own journey to getting better. I initially chalked this up as my #2 game of 2023, but I had to make it my #1 after I realized how big of a mark it left on me. I am glad I played this game.

FINAL THOUGHTS

One thing I noticed with my games last year is a fair amount of them are detective games. I love mysteries, and would love this genre to be explored further like in Return of the Obra Dinn and The Case of the Golden Idol. Another thing I noticed is that a surprising amount of games involve the artistic process. I like seeing games as art, and would love to see this space explored further. All in all, I love a lot of the games that I managed to play last year, and am excited for what this year holds for me! Thank you for reading, and I hope you continue to read my little review blog :)

#door reviews #door talks #the forgotten city #PRODUCER 2021 #mask of the rose #forklift load #betrayal at club low #elsinore #hypnospace outlaw #the case of the golden idol #IMMORTALITY #immortality game #chicory #chicory: a colorful tale #top ten 2023

[hairmetal666]

Eddie's a mechanic, has a shop in Indy. It's only got two bays, but he owns it, he saved up the money, it's his. He runs it with Wayne, is building up a customer base. He loves it.

Within the year, a bakery opens up next door, separated from Eddie's shop by a narrow alley. He has a perfect view into the bakery's kitchen from the shop's office, and almost immediately catches a glimpse of the drop-dead gorgeous guy behind the mixing bowl. He's got sun-golden skin, swoopy brown hair, wide puppy dog eyes, the poutiest mouth, and a face dotted with freckles. Eddie gapes at him for a solid two-minutes, salivating over the bunch and pull of his muscles as he kneads a ball of dough. A wet dream come true.

Eddie's always sneaking glances at the shop next door, can't seem to keep his gaze off the most beautiful man he's ever seen. Over the next few months, he becomes familiar with this herd of kids that hang around the bakery at all hours. There's one, curly-haired and mouthy, who often makes the baker frown with his hands on his hips, but as soon as the boy walks away, the baker smiles all wide and fond.

It's a silly crush, no big deal. He has a weakness for brown-eyed pretty boys, so what? It's not like he's going to do anything crazy, like make a move.

It's past midnight, a few months after the bakery opens, and Eddie's in his little office, doing the monthly accounting. He's exhausted, tired of calculators and numbers, when a flash of light catches at the corner of his eye. He blinks a few times, sure it's the exhaustion setting in, but it doesn't go away.

Instead, there's a light on over at the bakery. It's a kitchen light, and the baker is standing at the stainless steel counter, looking unlike Eddie's ever seen. His hair is a soft wave, swooping onto his forehead. He wears grey sweatpants and a yellow sweatshirt. Tonight, his movements are less precise and practiced; he's slow and contemplative as he gathers ingredients and mixing bowls.

It's been long enough Eddie should look away, but he forgets that it isn't a dream, that he's actually watching the baker roll up his sleeves as he whisks. It's inevitable that, eventually, the baker catches Eddie staring. He just smiles, though, and waves. Eddie manages to return the greeting before awareness smacks him in the face, and he flees the office and the building in acute embarrassment.

They share waves after that. Smiles. Laughter once when Eddie's reading over an invoice and walking, smacks face-first into the doorframe. Eye rolls after the baker gets into an impassioned argument with the curly-haired boy, one that involves a copious amount of thrown flour.

They exchange waves and smiles and goofy expressions, and it shouldn't escalate further, but one day Eddie steps into the shop's waiting room to find the curly-haired boy sitting behind the reception desk, flipping through Eddie's new dnd guide.

"What." Eddie says.

"You," says the boy. He's pointing and glaring and Eddie is a little scared.

"Me?"

"You like dnd?"

He hopes his sigh of relief isn't audible. "Best DM this town has ever seen." He postures and smirks.

"Doubt it," the boy says.

Eddie lets out an offended squeak, dramatically smashes his hand over his heart. "Insulted! Maligned! In my own place of business! Oh!" He falls into a dramatic swoon.

The boy snickers. "I'm Dustin," he says.

"Eddie." They shake hands and Eddie does not laugh at how overly serious this is all is. "Sir Dustin, what brings you to my fine establishment?"

Dustin shrugs. "Steve."

"Steve?"

Dustin rolls his eyes. "The bakery."

"Oh," Eddie says. Steve. The baker is Steve.

He's having a little trouble breathing, sure he's done something wrong, a distinct feeling of doom settling on his shoulders. "Why?"

"He won't stop talking about the mechanic next door but refuses to introduce himself. Plus, I saw your D20 tattoo the other day."

Eddie's barely hearing him, reeling over the knowledge that Steve talks about him to his gaggle of children. He barely hears the rest of the conversation, but the next day Dustin shows up with the rest of the kids, Lucas, Mike, Max, El, Erica, Will.

They're loud, chaotic, wild, and somehow--before they leave--they've coerced him into running a one-shot for them. They come by in twos and threes for the rest of the week, eating all the snacks in the waiting room mini-fridge and talking at him and Wayne as they work.

It's Friday, it's sweltering, he's closing the shop for the night with the top of his coveralls hanging off hips, his sweat soaked undershirt tossed behind a tool chest. He steps into the waiting area and nearly jumps out of his skin to find a man there, holding a plastic container.

Steve.

"H--hi," he stutters. And fuck, he's shirtless. He's standing in front of Steve for the first time and his nipples are out. This is it, the moment he finally dies of embarrassment.

Steve's eyes are locked on Eddie's torso for a few seconds too long, cheeks flushing. He blinks, finally looking at Eddie's face. "I'm Steve. From the--the bakery next door?" He points. "I--uh--I wanted to stop by and apologize?"

"What?" Eddie asks. There's too much happening for him to keep up.

"Um, the kids?"

And Eddie can't fathom why he needs to apologize, can only stare at Steve in confused disbelief.

"It's just. They can be kind of a handful. I used to babysit Mike and the whole group of them started following me around, and--Anyway, I think Dustin took it upon himself to try to introduce us. I've been wondering where they keep disappearing off to, and Max told me today that they're here with you, and I thought I probably owed you an apology. You're trying to work and I know they can be a bunch of shitheads, and oh my god, I'm rambling, I really am turning into Robin, Jesus Christ."

Eddie is fucked. Oh he's so fucked. He's charmed, endeared, can't stop smiling at Steve who is somehow even more beautiful up close.

"I forgive you," Eddie says. "They're nice kids."

Steve lets out a hard breath. "They are, huh?" He smiles. "Don't let them hear you say that. You'll never get a moment's peace. And they shouldn't have been over here bothering you, anyway."

"It wasn't a bother. Though, they did eat all my snacks and swindle me into running a one-shot for them. Still not sure how that happened."

Steve laughs and his eyes crinkle at the corner. So fucked. So fucked. "I should've known that you play that game of theirs."

"Aw, not a dnd fan, Stevie?"

Steve blushes. "It's--there's a lot of math."

Eddie laughs, already knows he's never getting over this one. "You bake professionally."

"It's different?" Steve laughs. "Fine, fine! You got me, it's not my thing."

"Bet I could change your mind," Eddie says. He doesn't mean to be flirting, can't stop himself.

"I bet you could," Steve agrees. He moves his hand, like maybe he's going to run it through his swoop of hair, then seems to remember he's holding baked goods. "Oh, uh, please take these cupcakes as my apology for accidentally saddling you with my group of semi-feral children."

"You're already forgiven, but I'll never say no to a cupcake."

"You should stop by the shop tomorrow, then" Steve says. "On the house."

"You've already given me these." He wiggles the cupcakes in Steve's pretty face.

"I only save the free samples for the hottest customers." Steve does run a hand through his hair now, and it's dorky as fuck, but Eddie still feels like he's died and this is heaven. "See you tomorrow?"

Eddie can only nod as Steve backs out of the office with a cheeky little wave.

He goes to the bakery the next day, sure he just let his crush get away from him and imagined the entire interaction with Steve. Except, when he walks in, Steve smiles all big and pretty in his little blue apron, invites Eddie back to the kitchen.

And if they share their first kiss against the stainless steel countertops, it's between them, Wayne, and all the kids who spy on them from the shop's office window.

#steddie #steve x eddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #mechanic eddie munson #baker steve harrington #ficlet #fluff #meet cute #mutual pining #matchmaker dustin henderson #longing glances #dustin is sick of hearing steve talk about the hot mechanic next door but never making a move #dustin makes it for him #the party are a bunch of well-meaning menances #for some reason insomnia is an intrinsic part of steve's character even in an au

[bloodofelves]

► lovely indie games I played in 2023

#gamingedit #indieedit #mixededit #death's door #iron lung #faith the unholy trinity #amy martin #gary miller #tiffany robinson #carrion #little nightmares #monument valley #coffee talk #hylics #signalis #cry of fear #indie corner #my edits #gaming mix #*1k

[inkskinned]

crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.

i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.

in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.

i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.

i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.

plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.

the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.

we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.

i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.

a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.

today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.

loved beyond thinking.

#spilled ink #writeblr #personal #please don't ask me to talk on my experience on the spectrum lol. i hate how ppl talk to me about it #i really try not to write so specifically about it #bc inevitably someone talks to me like im a child #i think this is the first time i've ever openly identified with it but i've been hinting for years #i might delete this. feels big. #the thing is that being on the spectrum actually IS a spectrum #and if u say ur autistic #inevitably someone makes an assumption about ur needs/symptoms #please do not treat me differently than u usually would. like.... we can tell when you do #and like i mention. i do appreciate the effort. i do truly appreciate the effort. #but it still feels like... #when i was blind. sometimes people kind of did the same-ish thing. #they'd find out i was blind and start talking really loudly? #and while i KNOW they're just trying to help. it would be like. i'd be trying to find #the right way into a building (sometimes only 1 door is unlocked and i couldn't see the signs posted about where to go) #and ppl would be like ''OH UR BLIND? YES SO THIS IS A DOOR. IT OPENS INTO THE BUILDING. IT IS LOCKED NOW." #''A DOOR CAN BE FOUND IN MANY LOCATIONS.'' #and it feels like. when i admit to being autistic #someone comes screeching into my life being like THIS IS A DOOR.

[insanesonofabitch]

Thinking about how the plot of season 6 wouldn’t make sense if you do not acknowledge the fact that Cas and Crowley working together was an affair, or at least it felt like so to Dean.

Majority of the people that I heard saying that they disliked that conflict, say that it doesn’t make sense because Dean should’ve understood Cas’ point of view. And that Dean has also worked with demons before, more than once, out of desperation. Which is why he doesn’t have the right to be mad. And I understand that. But it wasn’t about working with demons. No. Not really. The thing that hurt Dean the most about Cas’ choice was how he chose to ask for help from Crowley, instead of him. Cas chose Crowley over him.

“Look me in the eye, and tell me you’re not working with Crowley…”

“You’re in it with him? You and Crowley?? You’re going after purgatory together??? You have, huh? This whole time!”

“No, you had a choice. You just made the wrong one.”

“I was there. Where were you?”

The plot literally doesn’t make sense if you do not acknowledge destiel or crowstiel or deancascrowley. And I think that’s insane, especially for a show from 2005.

#and also I rewatched the whole scene and Dean NEVER talks about the insanity of opening up a door to monsterland #but he KEEPS talking about the fact that Cas chose to work with Crowley #and the fact that they reused Dean and Cas’ lines for a canon couple in a love triangle later in the series???? #batshit insane #also I love how everything surrounding purgatory is just so GAY #purgatory the (gay) bar in Miami #purgaytory #also cas and crowley kissed for the deal I will die on this hill #unparalleled media experience #insane show for insane people #supernatural #spn #the man who would be king #tmwwbk #spn meta #spn 6x20 #destiel #deancas #crowstiel #deancascrowley #drowstiel #dean studies #dean winchester #castiel #crowley macleod #dean x castiel #castiel x crowley #dean x cas x crowley #reiotalks

[egophiliac]

(almost) four years in, and I finally had time to draw something for the anniversary! woo! 🎉🎉🎉

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #because i need to talk for a minute about how the plot of the anniversary story so far is literally just #crowley jumpscares us in our living room to demand we make him lunch and yuu is just like 'i need to start locking the door' #oh twst you always know just how to get me #the qol updates though! CONVERTING SINGLE KEYS INTO 10-SETS YES THANK YOU OH MY GOD #SKIP LESSON TICKETS!!!! #3X BATTLE SPEED!!!!!!!!!!!! #SAVE TEAM BUILDS AND SUPPORT CARDS FINALLY AHHHHH #oh and some other stuff too but look i NEEDED these things #also master chef grim! he's so precious! #though he's not going to get a little sporty uniform after all? #grim canonically flies in the nude i guess #no it's okay chef grim is ADORABLE #if you zoom in on his card you can see little smoodges from his inexpert cake decoration 😭 #which on the one hand is cute but on the other hand i'd been convinced he'd just slapped some frosting and candles on an actual can of tuna #anyway happy (a few days until the) fourth anniversary everybody! #i've been here since the beginning (preregistered during the dorm reveals babyyyy) and it REALLY doesn't feel like it's been four years #you know what they say: time flies when you're watching anime characters have emotional problems

[certifiedwerewolf]

No offense but why are catboys always twinks and femboys? Where are the tom catboys and the alley catboys? Where are the catboys with the big boy jowls? Why do I never see catboys based on Maine Coons or Norwegian Forest Cats or Siberian Cats? Why is catboy synonymous with small and delicate and feminine? Why. Why did we all decide that catboys have to be dainty. Where are the butch catboys.

#paws at your door #let me in i just want to talk

[swagveryswagamazinf]

GUYS WE WON YESTERDAY 🎉🎉🎉🎉

#qsmp #my art #slimecicle #qsmp fanart #elmariana #fanart #qsmp slimecicle #el mariana #qsmp el mariana #still can't believe they talked during the qsmp awards I'm so happy I'm going to eat a door #I miss rhem so much man this is not fair....... #the sillies

[gayspacemonk]

wriothesley a whole ass homosexual looking after neuvillette and saying "WOW"

#wriolette #wriothesley #neuvillette #genshin impact #wriothesley: monsieur neuvillette me: so you are one of them queers #wriothesley: he's open minded and easy to talk to; me: so you are a homosexual #please tag me in fics where wrio arrives sopping wet to neuvi's door cause it started to rain and he ran through it thinking neuvi was sad #or I will write them myself

[helsensm]

farm boys Valentine's Days 💗

+ close up on the last one

#“but it's February. the trees are not bloo-” I DON'T CARE #WOE PETALS BE UPON YE #the universe was against me doing this piece #I wasn't planning to draw anything for valentine's #so the idea came up too late #then my new medications hit me like the bus hit Regina #I spent all day in constant state of almost passing out #and haven't done shіt 🥳 #and today I got stuck at work because the door lock decided to break #my luck went to someone else this week #to anyone who read all these tags - thanks for coming to my ted talk #kung lao #raiden #mk raiden #railao #mk1 #mortal kombat 1 #mortal kombat #helsensm art

[doorplays]

Door Talks: Tilt and its Effects in Gaming

This article was made with some help from monocots! She helped beta read this article for readability.

After a long and stressful day, a certain gamer turns to one of the hobbies that give them joy: gaming. They turn on the computer and boot up their game of choice. They play a few games, but they find a certain irritation growing in them. Maybe it’s because of the constant losses, maybe it’s because of unsatisfactory games, but their frustration just grows and grows. They find themselves even blaming their teammates at some points, or worse, even throwing expletives at them!

How could their hobby betray them like this? A hobby that was supposed to give them joy is instead giving them rage!

They come to discover, later on, that they’re actually tilted after all that gaming. And so, they realize that they should take a break and do something else.

Fellow gamers, that gamer is me. That gamer has been me multiple times across the years. And let me tell you, it is so annoying to be tilted when you want to be the opposite of that! So now, I want to talk about the concept of tilt, my experiences with it, and how I try to manage it.

WHAT IS TILT?

Tilt in gaming doesn’t seem to have a set definition, but the way I define it is that it is this feeling of frustration and anger people sometimes get while playing games. Usually, it arises after trying and failing to beat a boss, getting unlucky with rolls, or after a string of losses. It’s a sort of boiling anger that slowly bubbles over, affecting one’s enjoyment of a game.

People react differently when under this state. Some people spiral into self-pity, thinking if only they were better players they could just claw themselves out of this rut. Some people blame their teammates, cursing their fortune that they ended up getting queued with people who don’t match their energy. And some even end up throwing their controllers in rage!

Being tilted is a rough situation to be in. I’ve experienced it many times, more often than not only realizing I was tilted when I’m already deep into the feeling. Interestingly, the feeling manifests somewhat differently with different games. I find that interesting, and it makes me want to see if there is a common point where tilt can manifest. So thus, I’ve decided to explore my own feelings with this article! I’m now going to talk about the different games I’ve played where these feelings of tilt often manifest.

MAGIC THE GATHERING, OR HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE THE HEART OF THE CARDS

So, Magic: the Gathering. A game that’s been going since 1993. It’s a two-player card game wherein you build a deck out of cards you collect from packs. You put lands that you draw from your deck on the battlefield so you can cast the spells that you also draw from your deck. Some spells deal damage directly to the opponent, some let you summon minions that can deal damage to the opponent via combat, and others do a wide array of other tricks. You win when you put the opponent’s life down from 20 to 0. The card game has been playable in digital form since 2002 by way of MTG Online, and has once again gotten another digital client with the release of MTG Arena last 2019. The latter digital client is how I got into the game.

The nature of this card game now having a digital client has made it more accessible. It has also given an unexpected replayability to it. Whereas before to find matches you need to find local game stores, now you can just queue up and wait for the game to find you a match. It’s also easier to make decks since the economy in-game is different from in real life as long as you play consistently. You can easily play with cards that in actuality cost $60 or so.

I enjoy the game a fair bit. I enjoy the deck-building aspect, where you can choose a wide variety of cards to play and various ways to win. When you win, especially when you win from what seems to be a bad position, it feels really good. But the losses feel invariably bad. Some of my losses are due to me misplaying and sequencing my plays incorrectly, wherein I should have cast this spell first instead of the other one. Even fewer I feel are the losses that feel good, where both players slung spells and weathered each others’ storms, only for the opponent to draw their winning card. But a lot of my losses are due to plain bad draws, typically where I either draw too few lands to play my spells or too many lands and not enough spells. And losing due to RNG just feels bad.

What’s more, in order to maintain your collection, the game encourages you to win more. The more you win, the more gold you get. Though there are daily quests that don’t rely on wins, there’s still the optional 15 dailys wins AND optional 15 weekly wins. And it gets tiring, chasing those wins when you get loss after loss. With how easy it is to get into a new match, it can be so easy to get yourself into a tilting spiral of a lose streak.

There’s also the limited form of communication MTG Arena has. You can’t chat with other players directly, but you have set phrases you can say to them, like “Hello,” “Good game,” “Oops,” etc. More often than not, however, these phrases are used by players to annoy other players, with them saying “Oops” when the opponent makes a misplay, or right before they win. This is why most players just mute the other player so they prevent the tilt they might cause. Part of me wishes that we can freely chat with other players, but it’s difficult when there’s still the risk of players being toxic just because they can be.

The game itself can be fun, but the way the digital client gives you the opportunity to play more games and reward you for wins and sort of punish you for losses… it feels rather bad.

OVERWATCH 2 (DEAD GAME BTW)

I got into Overwatch around 2016 or 2017. I enjoyed it a lot, and I found some good friends because of it. Then I stopped playing because I disagreed with Blizzard’s politics. I found myself playing it again earlier this year however, and played it more when some friends invited me to play with them.

I can describe it as like… a MOBA, but in FPS form. You play as your hero of choice, and each hero has abilities unique to them. You work with 4 other players so that your team can achieve victory.

I like the variety of heroes. I like how explosive some fights can be. It can be exhilarating to play with how fast it is. However, it is somewhat reliant on you and your teammates being in sync with each other. You can’t just go off on your own and save the day (though there are times you can if you’re good enough).

Blizzard implemented team chat and all chat in this game so that you are able to communicate with not just your team, but everyone in the match. You can use just team chat to coordinate strategies, and use all chat to, well, chat with the opponents. There’s also voice chat so that you can freely talk without having to type, since it’s hard to shoot and type at the same time. While this kind of setup lends to more robust chats, it also allows for more toxicity.

Playing this game, I realize that not only do I need to be in a sharp mindset to be able to frag out and deal with the opponents, but I also need to have a positive mental attitude, lifting the spirits of my fellow teammates when needed. Because when they get tilted, it affects their play, and affects our team’s overall chances of winning. What’s more, they can take their tilt out on the whole team, which would then tilt us too! A sort of vicious cycle…

Let’s pretend to get into a game. So here we are, you go queue up in the night on Quick Play queue. You get matched with 4 people against 5 other people and you brawl out. Your side gets annihilated. No matter, you all respawn, but end up losing again. What’s happening? You think you’re playing okay, so maybe it’s because of the other players! How dare they affect your fun with their sub-optimal play!

But why is it such a crime to be sub-optimal?

I’ve been in this situation a fair amount of times wherein I know in myself that I’m doing good, but if only the other players can just capitalize on the openings I give them, or if they were just able to confirm the kills… This is unfair though. I’ve just met these randoms, I can’t expect them to read my mind. I can only control what I myself can do.

And it’s easy to forget, but I play this game to have fun, not to win. Those are two different things!

Nonetheless… why does losing in itself feel bad? Maybe I should play a game that isn’t competitive…

FINAL FANTASY XIV (WHICH IS FREE UNTIL LVL 70 AND STORMBLOOD)

Which leads us to this game! FFXIV is a game I’ve been playing more of recently. It’s really fun to play with friends and experience the world! I’m done with the main story, so I’m just levelling my classes right now, since with this MMO, you can become every class and level them all up to the level cap instead of just being stuck to one class.

Fights and content in FFXIV are typically done via duties. The term “duty” is what FFXIV uses for most content wherein you explore a different area, fight bosses, etc. Duties are instanced content, meaning that the game whisks you away from the overworld and into unique areas so that you can do certain fights, dungeons, and other quests. There are many unique duties in FFXIV, which speaks to the volume of content its team has managed to churn out over the years!

While I’ve been having a lot of fun recently, there are still points where I’d get tilted. More often it’s while I’m doing hard content like EXs, Unreals, and Savages. These are the terms FFXIV uses to denote duties that are more difficult than usual. The rewards for completing them are 1. the satisfaction of clearing the fight itself, 2. better equipment, 3. better fashion items, and sometimes 4. miscellaneous collectibles like mounts and minions.

The way tilt manifests in this game for me is in these difficult duties. It’s either I try to learn the fights and invariably make mistakes, or when I’ve mastered the fight and am in the farming phase, and for some reason, keep being beaten by the boss. The former feels bad even though I should be kind to myself: I’m still learning! I should cut myself some slack! But there’s always this nagging feeling that I’m not good enough, that I need to be better than I currently am. It’s a terrible feeling.

The latter, however, is just plain RNG sometimes. It’s another case of me cooperating with other random people, though this time it’s 7 other people who should have an idea of the fight itself. In FFXIV, you have the option of making in-game lobbies inviting other people to beat a fight, then have everyone roll for the loot fairly. It’s just, in some cases, you all just plain don’t beat the fight. It feels bad because of lost time, but that really is part of what you sign up for in some cases, and you just have to take the L and move on.

There’s also the in-game PVP mode. FFXIV has a fair amount of PVP duties you can do. There’s a game mode called Crystalline Conflict (CC), with similar gameplay to Overwatch except that you’re still using your class skills. A game of CC feels immensely shorter than a game of Overwatch, though, which is probably a reason why I experience less tilt with this game. Communications in this game mode are similar to MTGA, so there’s also less opportunity for toxicity. I do get annoyed when people spam “Good match!” even if the match isn’t finished, as I usually interpret this as them already thinking the game is lost. There’s also another game mode called Frontlines, where 3 teams, each team comprising of 24 players, fight for victory. The utter chaos and utter volume of players is a bit overwhelming, but once I got used to it I have lots of fun. It does get annoying sometimes though when stuff doesn’t go my way, but there’s something about this game that is rather… chill?

While I rarely get tilted by the casual duties, there are times when I do experience getting tilted, though usually because other players decide to be toxic. In FFXIV, there are daily duties you can do to level up your character and get other benefits. Early on in my playthrough, I had this party in this dungeon. I decided to queue in as a healer since I wanted to practice the role. But there was this player who kept criticizing my choices without giving suggestions. Why am I doing this, why am I doing that? In the end, I accidentally got disconnected, and while I was still willing to continue when I got reconnected, I found they already kicked me out of the dungeon. It was very disheartening.

Ultimately, though, FFXIV in my opinion isn’t as tilting as the other games I’ve listed, but there are some instances of tilt nonetheless.

SO WHAT DO I THINK OF TILT?

Now that I’ve examined these games and how they tilt me, I found some commonalities.

While competitive games can be fun, their competitive nature really incentivizes winning. Even in sports, games have always had winners and losers. So much so that when other players see you aren’t playing optimally, they may accuse you of “throwing,” or intentionally losing a game. It makes me want to ask: is winning really the goal, or is it to have fun? Would the effort you made in a game only matter if you win? Would the fun you had be poisoned if you lose?

This win-lose dichotomy is interesting because as much as I hate to admit it, it matters to most people. Wins feel good, and losses feel bad. I think it would be good game design to make it so that winning doesn’t matter as much, and that players still get to be satisfied even when they lose. But it’s hard to write this when the very DNA of competitive games rewards winning.

And what of the games that aren’t competitive? People still tilt when they farm for hours and they still don’t get that item they want. They tilt when RNG does not favor them in some fights. This leads me to think that tilt is less a win-lose thing and more an expectation thing: when despite all odds, what you want to happen does not happen, you get disappointed. When it stops happening over and over, you get tilted. It seems as though tilt is a factor of patience: how much time are you willing to spend to try and get what you want?

Tilt is also something that can be caused by other people. When people intentionally anger you and troll you, your own emotions can rise against them. Being tilted is an emotional state brought about not just by the misalignment of expectations, but also by unexpected factors like this. It feels like tilt is exacerbated by a loss of control in one’s games.

I think, with all of this, I would define Tilt as an emotional state brought about by the stress of both unmet expectations and unexpected outcomes in games.

HOW DO I DEAL WITH TILT?

Now that we’ve defined Tilt, I think now I want to talk about how I manage it.

I certainly think that when playing games, I want to have fun most of all. I’d like to think winning doesn’t matter as much for me, but on some level, it still does. I’ve realized all the more that your mindset is important when it comes to your games and even your hobbies. You have to be aware of your own mental state and you have to know what you are aiming for when it comes to your games. Are you out here to farm specific items. Do you just want to relax? Do you want to get wins? Know your goals and expectations. Try not to let things get to you too much.

In the course of playing games, there will be some bad apples who sow discord for the sake of it. They’ll try to tilt everyone they could just because it’s fun for them. When I encounter these people, I try to discourage them from doing their thing. Sometimes they’ll still continue being disturbances, however. It is an annoying part of gaming, but you can’t control everything. You can influence your team's strategy, but you can't control their aim and shooting. You can build your deck, but you can't control the cards you draw. While you can try and influence your surroundings, you can’t force the outcome you want. You can only control your own reaction to outside events.

I try to remember this, but sometimes tilt still gets to me. Maybe I played one too many games, maybe I’m chasing that one win that would give me satisfaction despite a chain of losses. Maybe I’m just in a bad mood because of the day’s events. It might take me a while to realize it, but when I see that I’m too tilted, I just stop playing and take a break. If something isn’t giving you joy, you should stop interacting with it for as long as you deem necessary. It might take days or even weeks before you get to play again, heck, maybe you need to stop entirely. In the end, you have to prioritize your own happiness.

Being tilted is difficult. But with enough emotional awareness and patience, you can combat that feeling and enjoy more of your games. Enjoy your day, gamers!!

#door talks #tilt #magic: the gathering #mtga #magic: the gathering arena #mtg arena #overwatch #overwatch 2 #ow2 #ow #ffxiv #final fantasy xiv #final fantasy 14 #ff14

[aleksikesa]

#alan wake #alan wake 2 #alex casey #old gods of asgard #warlin door #poets of the fall #herald of darkness #ilkka villi #sam lake #david harewood #they need to study this ear worm in a laboratory because its been months and this constantly plays in the back of my head on a loop #talking

[yashley]

imogen & fearne in c3e83

#critical role #ygifs #imogearne #imogen x fearne #they share a braincell in such a way I'm biting the bars of my cage predathosly #fearne bellyflopping in the dirt right in front of imogen and she’s just staring down at her like. #fearne turning thirst trap in the ruidus shimmer like I'm shaking the locked door that will never open for me.... #red aura tethering them together ok🤡 combat ruidusborn girlies working together🤡 the way they said it at the same time yall kidding #imogen starts talking and fearne is like I'm already signing onto this absolutely

[mysicklove]

sukuna guard dog trope, but he is actually a dog hybrid 💖

#🔪 - mello talks too much #stop it #stop itttt #not another sukuna au #i can’t write him as a dog hybrid #but he gets so worked up when someone comes over #here’s someone knocking at the door and the first thing he does is trap u under him and growl at the door #hears** #friends come over and he pins u into his lap #watches them like a hawk #AHHHHHRGATSGSHAYADGHD

[nellasbookplanet]

Book recs: Queer science fiction, part 1

There is a lot of queer sf out there, and I read a lot of sf. When I started working on this list, I quickly realized it was impossible to include all that I've read and enjoyed in one single rec post. Thus, this is the first of so far three queer sci-fi book rec posts.

A note: queer here does not necessarily mean "guarantee of an f/f or m/m ship with a happy ending", but rather simply a significant presence of queerness. Some of the books feature no romance but has a same gender attracted/trans/a-spectrum lead, or features an m/f relationship with bisexual, trans or aro/ace characters, or simply features a world-building which is heavily queer inclusive in ways that don't always compare to our own ideas of sexuality and gender. I have however disqualified works where the only queer presence is along the lines of "gay best friend" or a blink and you'll miss it confirmation that never comes up again.

Previous book rec posts:

Really cool fantasy worldbuilding, really cool sci-fi worldbuilding, dark sapphic romances, mermaid books, vampire books, many worlds: portal fantasies, many worlds: alternate timelines, robots and artificial intelligences, post- and transhumanism, alien intelligences

For more details on the books, continue under the readmore. Titles marked with * are my personal favorites. And as always, feel free to share your own recs in the notes!

The Light Brigade by Kameron Hurley*

Dietz is a soldier in the war between Earth and Mars - to travel to the battle front, she and her fellow soldiers are broken down into light to be able to quickly travel across space. But something keeps going wrong with Dietz's travels; her memories don't match up with the mission briefs, as she experiences time itself turning in on itself. Is she going mad? Or are the things she's learning skipping through time the truth - and the war that's stealing her life the lie? A mindfuck of a book that's scathing in its critique of fascism and war. Features a sapphic lead but no romance.

A Psalm for the Wild-Built (Monk and Robot duology) by Becky Chambers

Novella. Long ago, robots, upon gaining sentience, simply laid down their work and walked into the wilderness. Long after, a tea monk looking for purpose follows after them into the wilds, where they come across one of the robots seeking its own sort of answers. While not plotless, this story focuses more on character and vibes over plot. Also has a nonbinary main character and features conversations on gender between human and robot.

Meet Me In Another Life by Catriona Silvey*

Thora and Santi are strangers, brought together by a coincidence and torn apart just as abruptly when tragedy strikes. But this is neither the first nor the last time they meet - again and again they encounter each other, as friends, lovers, enemies, family, every time recognizing in each other a familiarity no one else carries. But with every new life, a mysterious danger grows ever closer, forcing them to find out the truth of their connection. This is a puzzle-box of a story that goes some entirely unexpected places in a very wild ride, featuring a bisexual co-lead.

The Archive Undying (The Downworld Sequence) by Emma Mieko Candon

In a world where AI gods sometimes lose their minds and take entire populations down with them, Sunai was the only survivor when his god went down. In the 17 years since, he has wandered on his own, unable to either die or age, drowning his sorrows in drink and men. But his attempts to flee his past comes to a stop as he is forced back into the struggle between man and machine. Featuring some pretty wild world building and narrative techniques, this book will definitely confuse you, but it is worth the experience.

The Paradox Hotel by Rob Hart

January Cole works security at the Paradox Hotel, last stop for tourists heading for the timeport, which allows them to travel to and witness any moment in time. But years of proximity to the timeport has left its damage on January, making her unstuck in time, letting her relive memories of her dead lover even as her sanity slips away bit by bit. As she starts witnessing proof of a horrible crime in the hotel that no one else can see, January must race against her own mind, a killer, and time itself to solve it before it's too late.

A Fractured Infinity by Nathan Tavares

Hayes Figueiredo is a struggling film-maker who wants to finish his documentary, whose life gets turned upside down when handsome physicist Yusuf Hassan enters his life, claiming an alternate version of him is a great inventor who’s sent a mysterious device to their universe. As Hayes gets drawn deeper into the conspiracy - and his feelings for Yusuf intensify - he has to decide just how far he’s prepared to go to win the life and the love he wants. Featuring a very gay and very morally dubious lead, this is a creative and strange read.

Bridge by Lauren Beukes

When she was little, Bridge and her mother Jo used to play a game - one where they traveled to other worlds, inhabiting the bodies of their other selves. Now Jo is dead, and as Bridge is cleaning out her apartment she finds a strange device: a dreamworm, the very thing that supposedly makes inter-dimensional travel possible. Suddenly faced with the possibility that multiverse travel is real, Bridge is struck by a different question: could her mother still be alive? Scifi spiced with a healthy dose of body horror and some absolutely wild twists, Bridge also features a bisexual lead (however this is a blink and you’ll miss it moment) and a nonbinary co-narrator.

The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet (Wayfarers series) by Becky Chambers

Rosemary Harper just got a job on the motley crew of the Wayfarer, a spaceship that works with tunneling new wormholes through space. With a past she wants to leave behind, Rosemary is happy to travel the far reaches of the universe with the chaotic crew, but when they land the job of a life time, things suddenly get a lot more dangerous. A bit of a tumblr classic in its day, this is a cozy space opera with an episodic feel and vividly realized characters and cultures. While pretty light on romance and focusing found family, there is a main f/f relationship.

An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon

Life on the lower decks of the generation ship HSS Matilda is hard for Aster, an outcast even among outcasts, trying to survive in a system not dissimilar to the old antebellum South. The ship's leaders have imposed harsh restrictions on their darker skinned people, using them as an oppressed work force as they travel toward their supposed Promised Land. But as Aster finds a link between the death of the ship's sovereign and the suicide of her own mother, she realizes there may be a way off the ship.

Ninefox Gambit (The Machineries of Empire trilogy) by Yoon Ha Lee*

Military space opera where belief and culture shape the laws of reality, causing all kinds of atrocities as empires do everything in their power to force as many people as possible to conform to their way of life to strengthen their technology and weapons. It’s also very queer, with gay, lesbian and trans major characters, albeit little to no romance.

The Left Hand of Darkness (Hainish Cycle) by Ursula K. Le Guin

1969 classic. Genly Ai is an emissary sent to the planet of Winter, meant to help facilitate Winter's inclusion in a growing intergalactic civilization. But he's unprepared for Winter's citizens, who spend much of their time genderless or switching between genders, making for a culture wildly different from that Genly is used to.

Too Like the Lightning (Terra Ignota series) by Ada Palmer*

Centuries in the future, humanity has deliberatly engineered society to be as utopian as possible, politically, socially, sexually, religiously. Written in an enlightenment style and featuring questions of human nature and whether it’s possible to change it, and what price we’re prepared to pay for peace, this book is simultaneously very heavy and very funny, and written in a very unique style. While still human, the society presented often feels starkly alien.

The Stars Are Legion by Kameron Hurley

This book fucked me up when I read it. It’s weird, it’s gross, there’s So Much Viscera, there are literally no men, it has living spaceships and biotech but in the most horrific way imaginable. Had I to categorize it I would call it grimdark military sf. It’s an experience but not necessarily a pleasant one.

The Luminous Dead by Caitlin Starling*

Possibly one of the most unsettling books I’ve ever read, and definitely the most claustrophobic. Gyre, a caver on an alien planet, ventures into the dark and dangerous underground, guided only by a woman who has no compunctions on using and manipulating Gyre as she sees fit to obtain her secretive goals down in the caves.

Escaping Exodus (Escaping Exodus series) by Nicky Drayden

While my feelings on Escaping Exodus were mixed, it cannot be denied that the dynamic between the two leads and the way they go from childhood best friends to enemies on different sides of a class and power struggle is very delicious. It also features some really cool worldbuilding of living, alien generation spaceships and the human culture that has developed inside them.

The Doors of Eden by Adrian Tchaikovsky*

The Doors of Eden is something of an experiment in speculative biology, featuring versions of Earth in which various different species were the one to rise to sentience, from dinosaurs to neanderthals. Now, something is threatening the existence of all timelines, dragging multiple different people and species into the struggle, among those a pair of cryptid hunting girlfriends and a transgender scientist.

Ascension by Jacqueline Koyanagi

Ascension follows Alana Quick, an expert Sky Surgeon who stows away on a spaceship in hopes of landing herself a job. But the ship and its crew are in deeper waters than she expected, facing threats emerging from a whole other universe, all of them searching for the same person: Alana’s spiritually enlightened sister. Undeniably a bit of an odd read, Ascension is also very creative and features polyamorous lesbian relationship.

Contagion (Contagion duology) by Erin Bowman*

Young adult. After receiving an SOS, a small crew is sent on a standard search-and-rescue mission. But what they find are not survivors awaiting help, but an abandoned site, full of dead bodies and crawling with something... monstrous. No romance, but features one sapphic co-lead and one who can easily be read as demisexual (however this doesn't show up until book two, which has more romance).

A Memory Called Empire (Texicalaan duology) by Arkady Martine

Mahit Dzmare is an ambassador sent to the center of the multi-system Teixcalaanli Empire, where she discovers that her predecessor has died. Trying to protect her home, an independent mining station, from being taken over by the empire, Mahit struggles to find out the truth of her predecessor's death while carrying the voice of his ghost in her head, guiding her as best he can. Light on the romance but does feature a sapphic relationship.

The Outside (The Outside trilogy) by Ada Hoffman*

AKA the book the put me in an existenial crisis. Souls are real, and they are used to feed AI gods in this lovecraftian inspired scifi where reality is warped and artifical gods stand against real, unfathomable ones. Autistic scientist Yasira is accused of heresy and, to save her eternal soul, is recruited by post-human cybernetic ‘angels’ to help hunt down her own former mentor, who is threatening to tear reality itself apart. Sapphic main character.

Dawn (Xenogenesis trilogy) by Octavia E. Butler*

After a devestating war leaves humanity on the brink of extinction, survivor Lilith finds herself waking up naked and alone in a strange room. She’s been rescued by the Oankali, who have arrived just in time to save the human race. But there’s a price to survival, and it might be humanity itself. Absolutely fucked up I love it I once had to drop the book mid read to stare at the ceiling and exclaim in horror at what was going on. Queer in the sense that the Oankali doesn't follow human ideas of gender and relationships, which is mirrored in their romantic relationships with humans. It is, however, pretty dark, with examinations of agency and consent, so enter with caution.

Remnant by Kate Genet

One day, Cass wakes up and finds everyone else is gone. Not dead, just gone, leaving her in a world which nature starts taking back with a dangerous, unnatural speed. But as she tries to survive this new normal, Cass realizes she may not be alone after all - but who else is out there, and are they a threat?

The Scorpion Rules (Prisoners of Peace duology) by Erin Bow*

Young Adult. Featuring a dystopian future in which an AI forcibly keeps world peace by holding the children of world leaders hostage. If anyone attempts to start a war, their child will be executed. Greta is one of these children, kept in a school with others like her. But things start to change one day when a new, less obedient hostage arrives. A unique, slowburn take on the YA dystopian craze, also featuring a bisexual love triangle.

Iron Widow (Iron Widow series) by Xiran Jay Zhao

Young adult. Zetian is a citizen of Huaxia, where mecha aliens are constantly trying to breach the Great Wall. To keep them at bay, couples of men and women pilot so called Chrysalises, giant transforming robots. But the pilots are not equal - the women almost always die, sucked dry by their co-pilots. When Zetian sets herself up to become a concubine-pilot, she does so with the plan to assassinate the male pilot who caused her sister's death. Features a polyamorous main relationship.

Bonus AKA I haven't read these yet but they seem really cool:

Survival Instincts by May Dawney

Lynn Tanner has been surviving the post-apocalypse alone with only her dog for a long time, trusting no one. But when she's forced to travel the dangerous remains of New York City alongside another woman, her priorities are challenged. Is staying alone really the best way to stay alive?

These Burning Stars by Bethany Jacobs

When con-artist Jun Ironway gets her hands on possible proof of the powerful Nightfoot family, controllers of interplanetary travel, committing genocide, she has in her hands a chance of taking them and their monopoly down. But the family and their allies won't go down easily, and sends two brutal clerics to stop her.

Everfair by Nisi Shawl

A neo-victorian alternate history, in which a part of Congo was kept safe from colonisation, becoming Everfair, a safe haven for both the people of Congo and former slaves returning from America. Here they must struggle to keep this home safe for them all.

#nella talks books #the light brigade #a psalm for the wild built #meet me in another life #the archive undying #the paradox hotel #fracture infinity #bridge #the long way to a small angry planet #an unkindness of ghosts #ninefox gambit #the left hand of darkness #terra ignota #the stars are legion #the luminous dead #escaping exodus #the doors of eden #the outside #xenogenesis #remnant #the scorpion rules #iron widow #survival instincts #these burning stars #everfair

[egophiliac]

What was your favorite of the flashbacks in Silver’s walk?

the acorn bracelet is VERY good, but I really really love Malleus humming (hummalleus? hummus?) to Silver. especially now that the song has Context. >:) we are in a soup of angst and I'm here with a spoon in each hand and a silly straw that leads directly to my brain.

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #(sorry for being a while i was taking a bit of a socials break) #i think this is the same scene that opens with lilia singing meleanor's lullaby to silver #before malleus walked through the door and lilia went 'here have a baby BYEEEE' #mmm yes. delightful. #and i know i've already talked about it but malleus' immediate reaction being 'gross. what is this.' is still great #sometimes he really is just a dumb teenager and i love it #i also love the spoon scene a lot for being kind of the ur-example of cute fluffy ao3 domestic diasomnias. but that's in sebek's map so #(i think most of the domestic life stuff is actually in sebek's) #(all that sugar-sweetness would dissolve under silver's tears)