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shenqingqiustanaccount · 1 year

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/r/relationships

My (32m) husband (30m) keeps saying he isnt gay. We've been married for five years. Help?

We met when i was working as a freelance writer. He was one of my regular readers, and he hated my writing so much that he paid me to move in with him (dont ask, it's complicated) so that he can edit my stuff. To his credit my work has gotten a lot better since then, but that also might have had to do with regular food & the lack of rent. Anyway we started making out like 3 months in. things clearly escalated and now we're married and we have 2 cats.

For like a year after I moved in he kept on saying that he was straight. Since we were having sex I kind of thought he was joking? Or that he at least stopped thinking he was straight when he introduced me as his partner to his family. He stopped bringing it up at some point anyway, and i figured it didnt matter after we got married. Only recently i brought up how he used to think he's straight and he told me HE STILL IS. How the fuck does that make any sense? Who can be straight after nearly 10 years of monogamous dicking?? I've never even heard him call a woman attractive!!! He is CONSTANTLY telling me about some new hot dudes he's seen!!

How do I convince my husband that he's probably not straight?

Edit: stop calling me fake i WISH i were joking but he is very serious about this. i asked if he thought i was attractive, and he said of course he does. i thought that was a "gotcha" moment but he said that because the protagonist of my novel is a self-insert, and that i described him as the most attractive man ever, my husband would obviously be attracted to me? because of novel protagonist logic?? i literally do not understand

Edit 2: Okay, i've tried some of the (ACTUAL) suggestions people left. I printed out pictures of "hot" people, men and women, and asked him to sort into a Hot and Not Hot pile. Most of the men were deemed Attractive and all the women (+some men) were deemed Not. i asked him what that means. i can't remember his exact logic but i think it boils down to the fact that he thinks all of his opinions are actually objective fact. i guess it's nice that he thinks I'm objectively hot. i spoke with his siblings, they all agree that he's absolutely gay, and they talked to him individually but he's still telling me he's straight.

Edit 3: i was going to ignore all those comments but you ASSHOLES won't leave it alone. YES, WE MET BECAUSE I WAS A NOVELIST AND HE HATED MY BOOK. He was NOT normal about it. i don't know what else to tell you. He's a closeted rich kid (as some of you had guessed already) and i guess he just yearned for the touch of a man so hard that i had to marry him. Whatever. it was our anniversary yesterday and he said "no homo" when he gave me flowers because i guess i was too insistent about him being gay. he was kind of joking but definitely not entirely.

Edit 4: some of you have guessed my pen name?? how??? A few others have even guessed my husband's username. Absolutely insane. I didnt even give that much info. He still says he's straight btw. Honestly i've kind of given up on changing his mind, but i did direct him to some queer websites a couple people suggested, so maybe reading more about internalized homophobia will cure him? It's actually stopped being funny and now I'm worried for his mental health, so I'm really hoping that personal stories he can actually relate to might do something.

Edit ??: you've fucking done it guys. he found this post. my sweet darling husband yelled at me for 5 minutes. those websites must've worked though, because he can easily go on for 20 minutes if he actually cared, and all the replies people left maybe helped a bit too. he actually apologized to me at the end!! can you believe that??? if you want to see him in all his glory he's the jerk with all the awards and upvotes in the comments here. you will definitely recognize him for a stephen king antagonist when you see him.

Edit 6: our cats are named Crybaby and Little Fucker 😊

#svsss #shang qinghua #cumplane #dont talk to me about reddit im scared of reddit #i only vaguely know how the posts are formatted #fanfiction #<-recently added since more than one person asked if this was real #sorry folks 🙏 it is not real

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trashasaurusrex · 2 years

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i worry about the tiniest things, it's a little weird. wish i could be a little less...

sensitive? hm...

#i'm scared of a lot #im scared of losing my friends #people being mad at me for no reason #idk #i just feel lonely about this sometimes.#and dont talk about it much bc i remember some idiot on reddit was stalking my profile all like 'heh heh getting her info >:)'#but idc. this isn't super specific #im just #tired

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witiraisaqueen · 1 month

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there should be a name for fans of other hermits becuase we have Ethogirls and Gemboys(?). I need one for Smallishbeans do you know how long it takes to write “Smallishbeans fan” A LOT OF EFFORT I DONT HAVE. I don’t have ideas but your probably think “WhAt AbOuT JoEl” THAT SOUNDS/LOOKS SO SIMILAR SO JOE THERE GONNA THINK IM TALKING ABOUT HIM!!! PLEASE JOEL DO YOU THINK I HAVE THE EFFORT OF TYPING SMALLISHBEANS FAN. Yes Jermey exist but if you’ve seen the finale of X-Life you know what happens. It’s also kinda off idk i mean if that’s our name I won’t made honestly Jeremey is cool but like idk. But if we do get JEREMY I’m content with that

ALSO THIS IS UNFAIR HOW OTHERS DONT AMHAVE AUDIENCES WITH COOL NAMES( if there are I’m sorry I am actually a new hermitcraft fan, my first interaction with hermitcraft people was from Smallishbeans so sorry)

EX: Beanboys for Joel, Pearlgirls for pearl, idk etc

so I don’t watch many povs so please bare with me COUGH COUGH

Edit: should I put this on Reddit I’m scared he’ll see it then call me out. I may honestly fuck if 40 notes and ill do it also

Update I did it after a friend forcefully cough made me to it

#smallishbeans #ethogirl #geminitay #ethoslab #hermitcraft #pearlescentmoon

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nhularin · 1 year

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Some Enhypen headcanons because I'm bored

warnings: crack, nonsensical stuff😭😭 dont take this seriously please, me being delulu, dts in heeseungs, its 4 am my mind isnt minding, not proofread

HEESEUNG

Man

I feel like since he has his own room and yk, is a certified gamer™

He rage quits a lot and throws shit around

" User Goku_outdoer_forever stop playing around and get ur shit together or ill kill u!!!!" he's 13 please calm down Mr. Lee

his poor members will be startled awake by his outbursts

talking abt gamer boy hee

his room REEKS of sweat, energy drinks and pent up rage

its okay boo i still love u xx

Jay

facebook mom

"niki why are u making that face, SMILE"

takes 10k food pics from 9229 different angles

its ok tho the house smells amazing bc of him

fashion influencaaaa

Nope its not sunghoon sorry guys

forces jungwon or jake to rate his outfits of the week (in exchange for food of course)

Gets pissed when they rate it a score lower than 9 ( how dare u insult my ability to put clothes together)

Jake

How do i say this in the nicest way

This man gives me massive Kevin Nguyen vibes

Especially with his black hair and glasses

the way je flirts with engenes is criminal

dude i thought we had something serious why are u cheating on me

the type to drive up to ur house in a red maserati and baseball cap

ykw the whole oitfit of jake in subway surfers 😭

its okay babe ill ignore ur red flags

SUNGHOON

he sleeps with his eyes WIDE open

so damn still too😭 is he dead or just having a peaceful slumber??? No one knows

he reminds me of a lululemon girl (no i will not explain myself)

no thoughts behind those eyes

MC Sunghoon will forever be in my heart

tried to google funny gen z jokes but ended up on the wrong side of reddit

Now he's stuck with bad dad jokes :/ he thinks theyre funny too (they are babe ill always find them funny"

Wonyo and him gossip about the whole industry

might even be worse than sunoo...

i can see him being a (fanfic) writer

runs a red velvet (irene) account

SUNOO

Im scared

Dude is probably friend's with like half of the kpop industry

probably has a burn book (kidding!)

owns a fan account and causes fanwars

"Enha flops!" Watch as chaos unfolds

since its confirmed that idols have finstas

he owns a tea account abt hybe especially abt enhypen

" sunghoon smells like shit and doesnt wipe after pissing - s.jy" we all know its u sunoo

JUNGWON

biggest blackmailer

probably has shit on everyone and their mother

"Whattttt no he's innocent and would never do that" oh he would.

remember how he danced / popped in his sleep during i-land? now its worse

LMAOOOO imagine him bolting up fromhis bed like hes being electrocuted

poor sunoo sees his life flashing by

Okay i know this might sound crazy and so not jungwon but hear me out

He owns a tiktok stan account for jungkook

and makes those "would ____ survive a jungkook killer smile???" Videos and proceeds to add John Cena and JYP

Sunoo and him are the unbeatable duo when it comes to defending their faves

but when it comes to their own group.... crickets!!!!

NIKI

Gym RAT

not the good kind either he looks like he smells

kidding

or am i

probably spends hours in the bathroom trying to work on his thirst trap face

"riki stop hogging the bathroom" " im shitting!"

learns gg dances in his free time

yall definitely saw his pre debut videos man was EATING IT UPPPPP

imagine him dancing to poppy with his overgrown fetus body

#1 isa fan and swith im sorry 🤷🏻‍♀️

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nordidia · 6 months

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how do i even know if im unmasking? i feel like i’ve masked for years and dont even know where it starts and stops 🫡

im sorry but you will have to talk to someone either professional or in the psychology business about this, or google some of your questions! its different for everyone and i only know myself (which im still also working on), and im worried going too much in depth with my own experiences people are gojnna think its gonna be exactly the same for them and then be disappointed or mad at me,,,am unfortunately not an encyclopedia

either articles by professionals or maybe autistic people discussing it with eachother often on some sites like reddit i've found good threads of autistic people giving eachother advice from years of experience with it themselves

hope this isnt rude or disappointing, i am just really not comfortable giving this kind of important advice about dealing with autism (other than the general helps like the previous one i answered about how to start unmasking) bc, well, i am not always right and especially on this that is such a subjective matter. i am jsut some online person and i dont know any of you well enough to help other than maybe giving some comfort with my comics about my own experiences,,

i am in the process of getting diagnosed irl and i have horrible habits about everything and i am also just recently learning everything. i am not qualified for any of this, other than sharing some stuff that maybe has helped me sometimes but even then i am scared and uncomfortable about it so i'd just rather not,, im sorry /gen

#asks!#i am also not having a great day so this might be me severely overreacting and fleeing from everything im sorry

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barbiegirldream · 2 months

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hes literally sharing his perspective, to me hes just starts off reiterating more what he said in his reddit post about the uk group and hes just repeating himself a lot and he acknowledges it. hes just talking and its clear its not planned and hasnt written anything done. he talks about operating under the impression that these people dont like him bc of the allegations. he apologizes to caiti and talks about how hes sorry he wasnt approachable and it deeply saddens him that she was scared. he says his perspective has changed and reading her second post that her recollection of events are closer to the truth. he says hes always been a guy that u can talk to and to talk to him about experiences specifically talking about where caiti said that theres been experiences with *them*. he took down his reddit post and he says that there is explicit consent and non explicit he said something like that . and he reiterates that he really thought people were having a good time and that it really upsets him that people would leave and not have a good time and hes always wanted a positive experience with everyone and he got a choked up here saying all this. he says he doenst think george hes a bad person he says he fucked up and that its also fucked up he left that night thinking everything was okay , whenever you have the time im sure i missed things or specific word choices etc etc , to hear the space yourself ofc , its not that long

Mwah thank you very much I will definitely check it out when my class is over

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submalevolentgrace · 11 months

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hi hello, sorry it's another amputee question, idk if you get tired of these. i found your blog and i like how you share your experiences, thank you for this. im abled myself but im writing a story, and i want my main girlie protag to have a prosthetic leg and here's the thing, i dont really have a reason for it. i guess it says something about me, don't know what, but i just don't know if that's considered, well, offensive, or rude, or something. i don't plan to have any focus on it in the story. the medium is a comic so it's going to be always visible as a prosthetic, but i don't want to explain it in-story either, no backstory, she would probably just have it since early childhood. it won't affect the plot. and that's where i don't know if that's even okay. it feels weird to want that, to include that, almost as if i need to somehow turn the story about it, to have some kind of statement. which i don't actually want to make or even feel able to make as never experiencing it. i want for her to have a prosthetic leg just because. and i don't have anyone to ask this, and i don't mean to offend you by this, and i apologize if i somehow did. but if it's okay with you to answer, i'd appreciate reading. if it's gonna be an angry rant i'd like to read it too. i know you're an upper body amp, but idk, i feel like this question isn't much about the use of prosthetics and more of the general amputee characters, and im scared to ask reddit, i don't even know if that ask made sense. thank you if you read that all, please don't feel pressured to answer. hopefully you'll have something good that brightens your day a little!

thank you, i actually really appreciate this ask! sorry that the response is long and wordy, i got a bit carried away…

so, i've gotten a lot of asks/dms/notes from writers asking about how to write their amputee characters/ocs after my big "writing advice" post, and i think i've ended up ignoring every single one of them, because… well, not to be rude to all those people, but they seem to have completely bounced off the whole 'know why you are writing this' thesis, too caught up in the excitement of their own fantasy to even notice the bit about understanding your own intent as an author and why that matters, let alone really engaging with it. and at that point, i don't think there's any advice or feedback i can give that would break through, especially when it seems what most people are seeking is little details and nuances to add authenticity to their token representation characters or unintentional stereotypes.

but, without any other details or nuances that shape a character's portrayal, based solely on what you've said in this ask, i feel like you're on the right track and probably gonna do fine. the thing that sticks out most clearly to me is how you phrase it, "i WANT to write a protagonist to have a prosthetic leg", you are acknowleding your role as omnipotent author, and i honestly think that's worth a lot more than many people realise when it comes to crafting fiction. you've acknowledged your desire for this character to be a certain way, and you're being introspective about the source of those desires and how it will come across - and that means you're almost certainly also thinking about how it interacts with the rest of the story, how it serves your themes, and how it will be interpreted and understood by the audience.

a lot of responses or people asking me for advice say things like "i am writing a character who HAS an amputation", implying it's an observable fact, pre-concluded before their authoring of them, and therefore something they're much less likely to examine critically. maybe it's unfair of me to draw such deep conclusions from shallow choice of language, but firstly, so many people have been far more obvious about it, saying a character "revealed" or "told" them about the amputation, or just straight up talking abot them as independent entities with their own agency, as if it's a biography and not fiction. and secondly, what are we even doing talking about improving the craft of our writing and how it will be recieved by the audience if we're not going to think about how framing affects interpretation? if someone is reaching out to me asking for writing advice, you bet i am going to assume this is a person who wants to improve the details of their own writing craft, and i'm going to critically engage with the tiny snippet of writing they've given me and analyse how it reflects on them, even if it is "just" a tumblr interaction. i don't even consider myself a writer really, the art i mainly dedicate myself to is music, but i still put careful thought into anything i write that's more than a few sentences, and think about the audience it will be seen by.

sorry, that's a whole other tangent… not at all about what you asked. but by way of example and segue back; what i see you reveal in the writing of your ask is a nervousness and anxiety to 'do well' in your writing, to create a character with an amputation in a way that holds up to scrutiny and criticism, and also a fear of what unfortunate things you might be saying and the responses it would provoke if you misstep. i can totally understand that, not just because you messaged me and i personally have a track record of going off on people lol, but also… yeah, people are very eager to judge and attack art based on a hidden metric of how 'well' it does 'representation' or handles things, and be vocal about the failings of things that make an earnest attempt. and i can see that it's very appealing to want to pull back and hide from that; a character who has a prosthetic leg opens you up to your audience critiquing how well you've handled it, most of them not amputees, many of them with the subtlety and media analysis skills of a sledgehammer… while if you write a story with no amputees in it, nobody has anything to critique.

unfortunately, no matter how well or carefully or authentically you write, there will always be someone engaging with it in bad faith yelling loudly about how awful you are; i recently made a short sharp post giving a trigger warning for medical abuse and body horror in the new zelda game that painfully evoked some of my own experiences, i still got people reblogging it telling me i'm ableist for saying disability is body horror (piss on the poor reading comprehension) and should apologise to all amputees (waves my one hand and nub around in a comical hello gesture). maybe that is on me for writing it quickly in an upset huff instead of making at least two proofreading and editing passes and oh geez, this is getting waaay too long and off topic. okay, to the point.

honestly, from what little you've told me, to be overly reductive, i'd give it a stamp of approval. sometimes people just only have one leg and that's fine, people are born like that, it's a thing that happens - and it doesn't need to shape the entirety of their lives, and reflecting that in fiction is more than just fine, i think it's what we need. sure any amputee character i write is going to be an overt commentary on ableism and medical abuse, because that's what i live, that's what affects me. but i know because i've watched their stuff on youtube, that there are so many people out there that were born limb different that just, don't care about it, and it doesn't really affect their life at all. if your protag has a prosthesis, sure she's had to get fitted for it and train for it, and it might benefit you to do an afternoon of research into that if you want to see how it might holistically flesh out her worldview (look up osseointegration vs external sockets, if you want keywords to help, look for patient experiences instead of doctors).

but also, if her other leg has finished growing and she's got a prosthesis that works, she may not have thought about it literally for years, maybe decades depending on her age. i had braces as a teen and it has zero impact on my life, i've had foot and back problems in the past, and it's irrelevant to me now other than getting new off the shelf shoe inserts every few years. i can think of at least one (australian) celebrity with a pretty long and successful comedy career who most people don't even know was born without one foot, it's just not relevant.

sometimes people just have things going on in the background that don't matter, and sometimes characters should have something just going on in the background too, no matter what "save the cat" sort of writing advice tells you. sometimes cutting literally everything out of a story unless it serves the plot or themes is bad actually, and i guarantee you, even as a hand amputee, i would absolutely LOVE to see a leg amp character who is just having a life, doing other plot relevant things. especially much more than i want to see all the characters of people leaving tags saying some version of "thanks OP, now i can write the suffering and torment of my oc much more authentically". think of the hypothetical little girl born without a leg that just wants to see someone like her.

and finally. what i think is maybe at the core of your anxiousness, at least to my read of your ask. you've thought about your role as author and self reflected about why you want to write a character with a prosthetic leg, and you can't find an answer in you, and you're not sure if that means it's something bad. well, assuming good faith from you, i think that's fine too. people who fetishise prostheses or amputations, people obsessed with the suffering or (percieved) depenedncy, or whatever else it is that makes them yearn to write their hacky awful robot arm characters; they probably don't do the introspection, and if they did, they'd find their answer right away (horniness or power fantasy usually), although i doubt they'd be honest with themselves about it, let alone others. assuming good faith and honesty, if you can't find in yourself WHY you want to write this character with a prosthetic leg….. it's probably just a harmless aesthetic preference.

if you wanted it to do cool things or make her more powerful or more special than others or be endless inconvenience and suffering or make her the chosen one because of it or something, that'd set off alarm bells for me yeah, and i'd be reading into it as a much more harmful aesthetic choice, and responding much more aggressively. but if you want to write a story about other things that features a protagonist who just so happens to have a plausibly normal boring prosthetic leg…. that seems fine to me, honestly. i tend towards having characters with certain hair and eye colour combinations that i find aesthetically pleasing, and as long as i'm thinking about how that could come across and trying to avoid any pitfalls around fetishisation and nastier implications, i think it's probably fine.

there are really only three concrete pieces of advice i would give you:

one, when you've got a cohesive first/beta draft, try to find at least one sensitivity reader who's got as similar disability experience as possible to your character (lower limb, same kinda circumstances, same general use of prosthesis), and listen to their feedback.

two, while i totally acknowledge that leg protheses can be super useful everyday kit for many people, i still have a general aversion to "this character NEEDS a prosthesis or they're helpless" readings, and many people don't want to or can't use leg prostheses… if it were me doing it, i'd make acknowledgement of that, and in a visual medium like a comic, i think that's as simple as having a single panel showing your character waking up in bed without the prosthesis, and maybe at her home there are forearm crutches leaning against the wall as background decoration. maybe if you have any scenes where she's woken up in the middle of the night, or interrupted before being fully dressed for the day, you could show them in use. but that's a personal value suggestion from me, your judgement or sensitivity readers might disagree on the importance of that.

three, you will absolutely need to establish as early and overtly as possible that the prosthesis and amputation DOES NOT MATTER to the story or her character arc. people still very much have a default normative body in mind when engaging with fiction, and anything that deviates from that will 100% be interpreted as a checkov's gun that they will be anticipating and theorising about going off, unless you squash that down. if you want to make a statement about it not mattering, unfortunately i think you're going to have to spell that out as obviously as possible without breaking the fourth wall, or else the audience trained on existing robot limb tropes will be waiting for the traumatic tragic backstory or secret rocket booster to become relevant.

but also…. i'm just some bitch on the internet, talking like i'm more important than i am, getting loudly angry about limb difference when i'm a pretty recent and unusual addition to the group myself. so like, don't take anything i say as absolute, and while it's always good to listen to others, at the end of the day you still gotta synthesise all their thoughts into your own.

i don't really have a nice concluding statement other than to say, thankyou for appreciating my post, and most importantly, thankyou for caring about the craft of writing enough to critically analyse your own authorship, and being curious about how to improve on a sensitive topic.

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kledface · 2 months

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Idk i guess i should consider an intro post or something?

Name:

Hi, im kledface, but you can call me kled. No, i have no association with league of legends and have been entirely turned off from playing it due to people asking if my name is because of the character. There is an origin story though!

Content:

I like sharing cute animals, pretty things, memes, and trans shit, cause i am a trans shit, people should be nicer/more normal about trans folks, especially those who are trans-fem and gender nonconforming. I also enjoy sharing art, both my own and others, because art is amazing. Sometimes i will post my weird little rambles here. Sometimes theyre serious, sometimes theyre just pissing in the wind. Life is full of wonder or some schist idk

Identity:

Im trans, genderfaun, my pronouns do change sometimes, but for the most part, he, they, and it are all fine for me. Go ahead and dabble in neos if you want, im not 100% sure what works and what doesnt there. Im also kinda coming to terms with being demi-aroace, or demian. This is a newer label for me, but i think its the right one. Im a pretty proud furry, and also an otherkin; hi, dragon speaking. My fursona is a dragon, but i have plenty of characters; some are even not dragons! I love dragons more than anything. I am mentally ill, with severe depression, social anxiety, schizophrenia, and a very troubled past that has caused splitting, and most likely either ADHD, autistic, or both, but nothing is confirmed yet besides being dyslexic. Currently am 19, though on the kalends of april i will be 20. This makes me nervous. I do not enjoy celebrating my birthday.

Likes and dislikes:

I love dragons, pineapple, rain and snow, fire, lightning, warhammers, birds, cats, the colours orange and blue, food, flowers, shiny rocks, dnd, mtg, drawing, reading, video games, a wide variety of music, the forest, and helping others, especially those im closer to. I hate conspiracy theories, aliens, bell pepper, chartreuse, intense heat, being short, bigots, and being treated like a demon. Some of these things are because of my past, others are just general hates

Personality:

Because of the splitting, sometimes its not just one person talking; there are eleven of us with different personalities. I, as the host, am the person you are most likely to catch though. I like to consider myself fun loving, though protective. Compassionate and easily scared. Some of us are much more grumpy, and cynical, while others are literal children. Please have patience with us, we are trying.

Other socials:

I do have some other platforms. This is the one im on second most often.

Discord: kledface [active]

Instagram: kartoffelzauberer [semi-active]

Twitter: kledface [inactive]

I have a reddit but i dont remember it

Technically i can invest in others but i dont really want to unless i have to, and there are some i havent listed but dont even worry about those, i dont want to be found

DNI:

Listen. Im a generally accepting person. But some people arent welcome here. No homophobes or transphobes, no terfs, no racists, no xenophobes, no ablists, no sexists, no ageists; If you hate someone for a fundamental aspect of their being, get the fuck out. Also, no anti-furs. This isnt the same, cause its more of a fandom thing, but if you hate someone for their fandom, i dont want to hear about it. Leave. Bye felicia. I will likely block you if you are a pro-shipper, because ew. And if you are any kind of pedophile, zoophile, or rapist, i would hunt you down and kill you myself if i could, i don't care how you excuse yourself, youre a disgraceful piece of shit who doesn't deserve to live, literally kill yourself. I hate saying and hearing that, but youre the kind of person who deserves it.

Finale:

I think that's it. Hit me up if you have questions or wanna talk, my askbox and messages are open. Thank you for coming to my KLEDtalk

[Kountenance, Lecturing, Education, Dick]

#dragon #dagin #furry #artists on tumblr #intro post #introductory post #blog intro #introduction #queer #demi aroace #genderfaun #kledface yells #kledface

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terraliensvent · 2 months

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I’m really scared I’m going to out myself by posting this but to be honest I don’t even want to be in terras anymore so I don’t really care. It needs to be said. This isn’t even about the species itself or the mods.

I’m a 21+ y/o system, and I can tell you that I’ve had my fair share of discrimination from other ‘systems’ - most being underage - within this community specifically, multiple times, because most of my alters are ‘too normal’, blunt, whatever. I mean fuck, I had somebody tell me that I made their group feel unsafe because I’m a *persecutor* who is ‘too cynical’. That’s incredibly fucked up and it screwed us up for a short while. As if…persecutors don’t exist for that exact fucking reason.

I don’t agree with every point most blogs make about fake systems, but at this point it’s hard NOT to think that kids do this shit for fun because when they’re faced with an actual alter, they cower and cry ‘you’re making me UNCOMFORTABLE!!’ if they’re not a silly quirky person. I’m so sick of it and this behaviour has had us fakeclaiming ourselves for months because we felt fucking awful about existing.

I feel like I have the right to criticise people’s behaviour towards me because this IS discrimination, no matter how you wanna view it. And it’s normalised in Terras because mods don’t want to allow fakeclaiming (which is fair) but. Come on. Please do some self reflection if you are one of these people.

exactly anon, this is the kind of consequences i was talking about in relation to DID fakers

(adding a read more to this post because i got pretty introspective)

DID kids love to use their various talking points, one of which being that you should never ever even THINK that someone is faking, and even if they are, theres no negative effects to them presenting their warped perception of the disorder as truth.

many DID fakers will tell you that the only ramifications of their nonsense is that DID becomes more discussed and people become more aware of it, and then more people might realize they also have DID

what they dont realize is that a lot of their rhetoric pushes out medically diagnosed people who dont fit into their new definition, despite the fact that their definition is completely false

im gonna use the autism faker crowd as an example since its pretty much 1 to 1 and i have more personal connection to it. this is gonna be a bit of a side tangent but i promise i have a point

for context, i am an adult with a corporate job who suspects themself of being on the autism spectrum. as a slight tangent, personally, i prefer to use the term asperger’s to describe myself despite the history of the term because most of the people i interact with on a day to day basis are on the older side, and in general the social interpretation of asperger’s more closely aligns with my presentation than how many older people (however wrongly they may be) interpret autism.

now, i was in the process of seeking a diagnosis, but because of extraneous circumstances and loss in my family, its pretty much halted. however, i dont think im going to continue this process because for the most part, i have low support needs. granted, as a child i can see areas where i may have needed assistance and understanding, but now as an adult im pretty much aware of what things trigger me and i can implement self soothing strategies in my day to day settings. i can manage my life, and seeking a diagnosis now wouldnt really do a world of difference because i dont have a strong need for accommodations.

despite my low support needs, i still drift on the edges of autistic discussion groups (mostly on reddit), just to see other people who live life like me, who have to put a little extra effort into social situations, and who have to fight tears when touching an incredibly common texture in the same way that i do. and what i see in these groups is that autism fakers are making the lives of autistic adults harder than they actually have to be.

when you tell illness fakers that they are taking resources from people who need them, they will often say “what resources? there arent any systems in place to help people who struggle, so why do you care?” when they couldnt be further from the truth

i see post after post of autistic adults who NEED support, who go to irl support groups for assistance, and are turned away because there is no space. i see autistic adults who are ostracized among other autistic people for being weird or for interacting strangely, and when they explain themself, theyre pushed further because “well all these ‘autistic’ people can operate fine, why cant you?”

suffice to say, i think the crowd of people who fakes disorders and turns them into flashy trends are incredibly selfish, and terraliens in particular is full of that crowd.

(also for future posts ill try not to be so long winded, im not gonna delete any asks talking abt syscourse and stuff like this because i dont really believe in deleting asks, but i want to try and keep it more brief going forward)

#closed species vent #terralien #closed species #terraliens #vent #syscourse #mod rambles

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lemon-sugarcoats-nothing · 2 years

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Little rant but not heavy, just infodump

I like....wish mental health self-diagnosis for the purpose of just understanding whats going on in your head was more accepted- Especially online,,, bc like- Im 99% sure I have either innatentive type ADHD, or combined type ADHD, but im having a hard time getting diagnosed. My therapist had referred me somewhere to get diagnosed but that place did do that and only treated already diagnosed patients,,, and she had no where else to send me so now im just waiting for my next routine doc checkup to ask them about it and be put on a waiting list bc im sure im not the only one in my area,,, :///

Thats not even mentioning how I may also be on the Autistic spectrum, or at the very least have autistic traits- This one im less sure of, but still it seems like a very REAL possibility bc there are just some things that impact my social life and emotional regulation that just- doesnt seem in-line with ADHD.

Im further convinced i could have both since a large portion of people with ADHD also have Autism spectrum disorder- Even more people with ADHD have Autistic traits, but mayhaps not enough to be diagnosed? And the same goes for people with Autism spectrum disorder with ADHD/ADHD traits.

MAin problems come in when i want to talk about my neurodivergent experiences on like...TIktok or smth but im scared to say "im self-diagnosed with ADHD for self understanding purposes". I dont wanna get canceled yknow?

And another problem with getting tested for Autism spectrum disorder is that, should i be diagnosed with the disorder, i could have a much harder time medically transitioning (should i choose to go that path). Unfortunately Ableism is still a problem in medical fields, and doubly so for Autistic trans people looking for medical transition.

mm,, i just dont want to be fake-claimed on reddit/4chan/wherever and get harassed for it-

#sorry for the rant #ranting #self diagnosis #self diagnosed adhd #self diagnosed autism #help #not art

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star-firework · 1 year

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if twit is gone, i will have to use a blog like a real blog.

so anyway,

im a warehouse manager now and i got an employee who i feel like im in an abusive relationship with

he out of nowhere said "so some fat, ugly Samoan man won a miss america pagent and he identifies as a woman and you KNOW no one believes that shit!" and that caught my ear and made me stop and ask him why he brought that up cuz there was just no relation to what we were doing

he got defensive and when i asked him to not talk about things like that (cuz we just hired a new guy we dont know his opinions and also its not allowed int he work place!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) the moterhfucker yelled at me and told me that IM "the problem and silencing" his opinions

i asked him to not use combative language and then he said "YOURE using combative language!!!" like a toddler yelling at his mom

i felt like i was on fox news or something, dude listened to so much joe rogan, he just melted in front of my eyes?

i was especially 'triggered' because my recently viral-on-reddit-infamous-homeless-attacking-ex-boss deany boy used to go on long, endless, anti trans rants when i was the only one working with him and i waslike what the fuck!!!!!!!!!! the fuck you care so cuking much about trans people in everything, shut up you old bastard dean

your donuts made my stomach hurt and you keep cream cheese in the fridge so long it turns green and when i went to throw it out, you told me to wipe off the green mold and put it back. you also keep the raw bacon on the top of the fridge of everything definitely not raw. you reuse gravy for days on end to the point i think theres weeks old gravy still being eaten. your wife broke 3 crock pots out of anger for some mundane thing and acted like a high school mean girl when she was in charge and made us remop a floor up to like 4 times because she didnt like how there was a "sheen" on the floor.

anyway

my employee just fucuking blew up at me and then he walked out and didnt return for 3 hours, i was at the point of thinking "well ok, guess he actually just quit?"

He returned and didnt talk to me and left without a word. The next day he called out and only said: "Sick. Out. Indefinitely."

What the hell does indefinitely mean after a blow up?

Poor choice of words or a bad way to vaguely quit?

i told HR and made them call him after he didnt text or show up the next day

i was ready to move on and already got an interview set up to fill in when we are already in crisis mode at work lol

then the bastard texts me at 5 when im about to go home and he is furious that HR was calling him. he said "if you have a problem you say it to my face, im coming in tomorrow sick or not"

i felt threatened and scared because when he gets mad, he gets mad and testosterone fueled rage and i dont know if he would get physical

he also was like "am i supposed to be looking for another job!?"

i was so scared of his reaction i was thankfully able to call hr and have her walk me thru how to text this maniac back

i really dont want to work with him ESPECIALLY now

but somehow the company wont fire anyone so this behavior is still cool and no one has balls, i dont have balls and guess i have to continue workingand managing a manchild who is going to be set off at anything

i also have to somehow figure out how to get a meeting with him, me and HR without it sounding liek an interogation because he is so easily defensive

we were cool and i have even been to his house and met his wife and had beers with him and another manager and then it felt like in one instance it just got all washed away because he wanted to rant about trans people?????????

i am so confused!

i also have thrown up soooooooo much this past year from stress, jfc. im finally losing weight but from a very very bad reason and very very unhealthy way that is painful aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

still dont know whats gonna happen since this dude is planning on coming back tomorrow and i have an interview w someone we meant to replace him after he was MIA

#blogpost #me thinkin cuz no twitter #warehouse life

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mrkis · 2 years

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no cause im gonna be real with you right now. honestly, maintaining relationships are so hard for me. friendships and romantic. i do have some friends, but it's not often that we hang out and they have other friends too and it feels pretty lonely. but if we do hang out, i'm always the one initiating it first. and sometimes, i get too comfortable with them which leaves an awkward impression on me and we just dont talk that much anymore. for romantic, i've had crushes but it's doesnt rlly work out. im just scared to commit a relationship. i always overthink about their true intentions and what they want from me. they seem a nice person but i always think the negative of them on what will happen to our relationship. so i just shut myself out and end it. i kno thats a shit move but honestly idk how to talk to them. my parents never rlly talked about romance so idk how to be in them. i always need constant reassurance if they still like me or cling onto them afraid that they'll leave. eventually they do and it leaves me hopeless. im scared to even socialize to ppl or be out there in the world so i just seclude myself in my room everyday. its just me and the internet. i enjoy the internet alot. but my mom sometimes tells to go outside bc i look pale and thin but honestly im too scared to go out and see or talk to people. idk im just afraid of failure in society :/

anyways sorry for big paragraph, shouldve left it on reddit

this kinda hit me hard. i'm in a similar boat and i feel bad because i wanna help you and give you advice but my mind really just went blank :/ it's tricky but all i can say is that it will get better. it will get easier. i promise you. it just takes time <3

and nooo don't apologise for the big paragraph. you're always welcome to come to me and rant abt things, big paragraph or not <3

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lovemars · 2 years

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hm. time to psychoanalyze myself i think. cw traumadumping cw long ass post cw oversharing 😭

the srs cws are talk of sex and stuff but in a sad way not a horny way, sa, men on the internet being gross, bad coping mechanisms, etc

like. idk. i was thinking abt this last night and now im thinking abt it more and like. i feel like. the way i appear in headspace and stuff is just. completely based after. OH MY GOD SOFT BOY CAME OUT? um. sorry it just came on shuffle. ANYWAY. 😭. i feel like how i appear and everything is just based off of like our brain trying to be attractive to- well men mostly. other genders nd stuff but mostly men Specifically cis men. and like. literally none of us actively want to have cis (esp cishet) men attracted to us ❤️. but its like, i know Why like i know its cuz one of my roles is a sexual alter and our brain made us appear the way we do in headspace as part of it trying to keep us safe etcetc WHATEVER i dont care 🫶. like. i literally even- like for instance when we were dating our ex i remember trying to like. be attractive to her and make her like me/us even tho like. i was uncomfortable as fuck and like. i did the same with redacted from irl and just didnt set boundaries at all- no thats not true we definitely did set boundaries. i was just bad at enforcing them- i guess cuz i was like. idk completely lost in this mindset of like, not being able to say no and not feeling safe and feeling like it was my only purpose inguess?

and then like- i also feel like. imean i dont really get the love languages thing but if i had to pick one it would definitsly be words of affirmation and like- i feel like. okay 😭. im not a good person by. whoever the fuck uhh. pat the bunny i think? plays in the background. like for years and by for years i mean ever since 4 days after i turned 18. my thing had been like. posting on reddit . in various subreddits that like, Well the men in them are not very nice to me or to women . and like. i feel like that ties back to the words of affirmation thing cuz i was like intentionally seeking out people who would hurt me (<- which also ties into being a persecutor). and i dont do it anymore because months in the getalong shirt with nik made me feel bad abt it 😭 and then i started to realize that i like when people are nice to me actually. and then i was like Huh maybe tjats not super healthy for me probably. (it is not). well and thats the reason im banned (by nik) from reddit and sex with cis people forever.

but like. 😭 SORRY THIS IS SO LONG. writing a damn novel here. ANYWAYYYY. the whole posting images on reddit dot com -> talk to creepy men on reddit dot com -> intense self hatred and shame -> nik fronts and freaks out and deletes everything -> i feel bad -> i do it again next time i feel like making myself feel terrible on purpose for fun Spiral. like. ive spent all this time gojng down that spiral and now its like. bro i jusr want someone to be nice to me. like i spent ages convincing myself that actually i didnt care abt the shit those men were sayinh & that i liked it and now im like. i literally dont. like. i dont wabt someone ive never spoken to who didnt even say hi or ask what im ok with to say like. waves hand. stuff im not repeating just make up something genuinely disgusting and a bit terrifying and ive probably heard it. and now i dont even KNOW like. what i want i guess. idek my sexuality cuz ive never bothered to think abt what i want cuz i was too focused on what people i dont like/am scared of/etc to think abt how i felt. which in retrospect. bad and scared and. etc.

anyway. idk its just dawned on me the other night how much of who i am is wrapped up in how much i want everyone to like me all thw time and also how much i dont like myself. and like im working on it. and if working on it means thinking about drm from minecraft youtube ******* ** ** ***** so be it i guess 😭. idk man if nik can read dr*amnotnap fic and call it coping i can thirstpost abt drm in my head. idk.

ig im just. now that im able to be more normal and rational and stuff im able to see like. damn i was really bad at dealing with my emotions and tried to do that in ways that were not healthy for me or anyone else. and now all my sense of. who i am is wrapped up in that i guess. which sucks. and im working on it . SLOWLY! but im working on it

tldr: damn this guy should probably talk to a therapist abt all this shouldnt he. well thats okay at least hes hot

#neg #u can ignore thris the tldr is im mentally ill

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babylotuseater · 12 hours

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how many men you slept with

how many woman you slept with

which did you enjoy more m or f

taking a survey here

i enjoyed more m or f, thank you for including me in your survey! i went on a walk with one of my neighbors who i blocked on instagram because she is 17 although i would rather she smoke weed than drink but i think offering her my back patio and bong might have been too intense. on the walk she asked me "are you gay? are you genderfluid?" i felt at home. we talked about hazbin hotel (good, gay, cringe, invader zimesque, lesbian edgy, Leslie knope in hell, Lesbian thigh highs, emo blingees as a musical, Cock jokes, welcome to night vale tentacles, Twinks, a chubby flapper who should sit on my face, here to inspire a generation of retarded dykefags) i told her she looked like my friend who i miss because to be honest she was a libra in a hoodie at night in mostly beige. she said that was racist, do you think we all look the same, she was laughing and i said i am racist, and im sorry but i did not think you look like my friend sage because he is M, it is because you are a libra and i am trying not to drink. later i think i scared her by licking one of my paintings, but i did warn her that she can sit on my chair but i will be painting like francis bacon as i burn my copy of the four agreements with a red candle speared through a pamphlet i accidentally stole from utah, 2.50 from a monastery, i actually didnt notice the price tag until i was down the hill. but anyway. Men do not like when I say hail lilith. women laugh at me but sometimes they get it. nonbinary people, thin fucking ice unless youre on estrogen. i have some good homestuck tweets available on twitter formally known as x. is there rule 34 back on tumblr yet. as soon as the "gay? genderfluid?" libra was on my back porch i told her this is where i am maenad and you are welcome to smoke my weed but i might get big triggered if you play me a song you think is good enough to get me dancing. i might get big triggered and crawl on the floor since i have been doing yoga since a cute adulthood suicide attempt not to prove to anyone i can move the way i do but just as another testament to My body triggers Me. i am not drinking. i had to go to court on webx in a mcdonalds in utah and then he left me in utah. i am really lonely and i dont want to talk to anyone. Buy my stickers. if you are lesbo or transgender or even MLM uhh androsexual what are the demiboys calling it these days. im glad i deleted my old tumblr because i suffered so much publicly under readmores and i dont think surrealjock deserves any more humiliation. if you run my writing through a program it will tell you my short stories were AI generated. i saw someone already won an award with a book written by AI. so babylotuseater sells stickers now. at first when i heard the news it crushed me, i cant believe AI won over original artists, but passive income schemers have less depression than my gridart photomosh glitchcore Beautiful Princess Disorder sigils i made on my phone to comfort me while waiting for greyhounds or at the mailboxes for a ride or just like listening to tyler the creator in a bathroom Shitting and farting too. im more than alive. im a death witch. it means i need double ended d1ldos as a survival necessity. you will not get to see me use it. if you do, it will be the last thing you see. i am a copy of saints row still in the plastic. i am an overdrawn checking account. i am fat squirrels on reddit

#fairy grunge #dark coquette

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