#dont read if youre sensitive to abuse stories

[solarsturniolo]

Hiii, I’m Natalie but you can call me Nat 💋. I’m 22 and have been watching the triplets since spring 2022. Not much you need to know about me tbh and not that you or anyone else really cares anyways.

I am an adult, i do write adult content about other adults. if this makes you uncomfortable, you are not obligated to read any of it and i wholeheartedly understand. Also keep in mind that I am an adult and i work a full time job. Writing is my hobby. I will not be as consistent with posting because I do have other priorities that come first. I will try to update as much as possible, but once again I am an adult with an adult life and adult responsibilities. All I ask is that you stay patient with me and show some grace where it is needed. I work very hard on my writing and appreciate any attention that it gets, please do not blow up my inbox repeatedly with the same prompt. I promise you that I see it.

Here is a masterlist of everything that I write, I'll do my best to keep it updated!

I DO NOT GIVE CONSENT TO MY WORKS BEING REPOSTED ONTO THIS PLATFORM OR ANOTHER PLATFORM. IF YOU REUPLOAD MY WRITING AND CLAIM IT AS YOUR OWN, I WILL NOT BE AFRAID TO GET A LAWYER INVOLVED. WRITE YOUR OWN, POST YOUR OWN. DO NOT REPOST MY WRITING. REPOSTING MY STUFF WITHOUT MY CONSENT IS AN ALL RIGHTS RESERVED COPYRIGHT VIOLATION AND YOU CAN BE CONVICTED WITH A COPYRIGHT CRIME. DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND JUST DONT REPOST MY STUFF :)

If you’d like to be added to my tag list, click here!

Also, here is a reminder of how to NOT inbox me about inquiries on updates, new prompts, or just in general. Click here!

Key

🚀 - smut

✨ - fluff

🪐- angst

🌌- other

ℭ𝔥𝔯𝔦𝔰 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔬𝔩𝔬

✫彡 Too Damn Long pt 1 🚀

✫彡 Too Damn Long pt 2 🚀

✫彡 Too Damn Long pt 3 🚀

✫彡 Too Damn Long pt 4 🚀

✫彡 Too Damn Long pt 5 (final part) 🚀

✫彡 Nail Tech (Coming Soon)

✫彡 Twisted (Coming Soon)

✫彡 The Ice Breaker (Coming Soon)

✫彡 Nothing (Coming Soon)

✫彡 Dr.Feelgood (Coming Soon)

✫彡 Record Label (Coming Soon)

✫彡 Money, Money, Money (Coming Soon)

✫彡 The Irony of Choking On a Lifesaver (Coming Soon)

✫彡 King of the Jungle (Coming Soon)

✫彡 Texts w Best Friend!Chris ✨🌌

✫彡 Texts w Best Friend!Chris pt 2 ✨🌌

✫彡 Texts w Best Friend!Chris pt 3✨🌌

✫彡 Texts w Best Friend!Christ pt 4 ✨🌌

✫彡 Texts w FWB!Chris 🚀🪐✨🌌

✫彡 Texts w FWB!Chris pt 2 🚀🪐✨🌌

✫彡 Texts w FWB!Chris pt 3 🚀🪐✨🌌

✫彡 Texts w Bf!Chris

HEADCANONS

✫彡 Sub!Chris 🚀🌌

✫彡 Overstimulated (Coming soon)

𝔐𝔞𝔱𝔱 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔬𝔩𝔬

✫彡 We're Just Friends pt 1 🚀

✫彡 We’re Just Friends pt 2 🚀

✫彡 We're Just Friends pt 3 🪐✨🌌

✫彡 We’re Just Friends pt 4

✫彡 We’re Just Friends pt 5 (Coming Soon)

✫彡 Not My First Rodeo (Coming Soon)

✫彡 Creep: Introduction,

✫彡 Temporary Bliss (Coming Soon)

✫彡 Pugs 'N’ Kisses Prologue 🪐🚀🌌

✫彡 Pugs 'N' Kisses: One

✫彡 Nothing 🪐🌌

✫彡 Comfort Zone (Coming Soon) ✨

✫彡 Texts w Bf!Matt pt 1 🚀🌌

✫彡 Texts w Bf!Matt pt 2 🚀🌌

✫彡 Texts w Bf!Matt pt 3 🚀🌌

✫彡 Texts w Bf!Matt pt 4

✫彡 Texts w Bf!Matt pt 5

✫彡 Texts w Bf!Matt pt 6

✫彡 Texts w Bf!Matt pt 7

✫彡 Texts w FWB!Matt

HEADCANONS

✫彡 Sub!Matt 🚀🌌

✫彡 NSFW Alphabet 🚀🌌

✫彡 Overstimulated 🚀🌌

✫彡 Dom!Matt (Coming Soon)

THINGS I WILL NOT WRITE ABOUT: STEP SIBLINGS??????????, Nick x fem!reader, self-harm, suicidal thoughts or tendencies, incest???!!!!!!, sensitive topics such as eating disorders, abuse, etc, any kinks involving urine or feces, beastiality, SEXUAL ASSAULT OR R*PE, (this list will probably be continued at some point but this is what i have for now)

Natalie’s Recommended

These are all great stories that I’ve read and recommend! Definitely check these stories out!

ℭ𝔥𝔯𝔦𝔰 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔬𝔩𝔬

✫彡 Panty Thief by @evieolo

✫彡 Lollipop by @freshloverr (Part two here!)

✫彡“Cool Spider” by @gamermattsgf

𝔐𝔞𝔱𝔱 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔬𝔩𝔬

✫彡 Painted by @flowerxbunnie

✫彡 Ink by @flowerxbunnie

✫彡 7 Minutes in Heaven by @middlepartmatt

#masterlist #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo imagine #sturniolo smut #i need him in a way that is concerning to feminism #sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo snaps #matt sturniolo smut #matthew sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo cock #chris sturniolo fanfic #chris sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo x reader

[444rockstargf]

Maybe a bit of toxic Jack tharlow? Cheating on his wife on his trip, moaning things like, “never felt something so good,” “where were you before I tied the knot?” Mwah mwah mwah :3

i know the perfect lana song for this omg.

"i know your wife and she wouldn't mind." | jack thurlow

cola. - lana del rey

female!reader x toxic!jack

contents: cheating, fingering, p in v, unprotected sex, blood, creampie

please read: i dont support cheating at all. this is just a story :)) also thank you all for being so patient with me for all the requests. they are all currently in progress.

he carried you into his room, locking the door as the two of you aggressively made out. you had met hit at the club that night, and you felt an immediate connection. he noticed when you saw his wedding ring, but stuff like that never stopped you from having fun.

so here you were now, being thrown onto his bed and watching as he quickly removed his belt and unbuttoned his pants. he climbed on top of you, kissing you deeply. his hands travelled down your tight little dress, stopping right at your thigh. his fingers pried underneath the fabric and he started rubbing your wet little pussy through your lacy panties.

you gasped, him rushing through this process quite quickly. he slipped your panties to the side, getting full access to your pussy. he rubbed the entrance a little before slipping in two fingers. he pulled away from the kiss as his fingers pumped in and out of you. "so tight around my fingers... i can't wait to feel you around my cock." you moaned softly as his fingers started stretching you out.

you could hear how wet you were, making a mess all over his fingers. he curled them slightly inside of you, making you lose your mind. jack chuckled as he saw you falling apart, wanting to destroy you tonight. he pulled out of you, looking at his fingers that were covered in your liquids.

he pulled himself up a little, freeing his cock and lining himself up with your entrance. he pushed himself into your tight, wet cunt, pounding into you until you were screaming and begging for more. jack groaned as he filled you up. "you feel so good... my wife never lets me do this..." you wrapped your legs around him as he started hitting that sensitive spot inside of you.

he started kissing you again as you ran your hands through his long hair. he pulled away and pinned your hands over your head. seeing you in this helpless position made his body heat up even more. his thrusts got slower but deeper, making your eyes roll to the back of your head. "where have you been all my life, huh?" he said, breathlessly.

he brought his other hand down to your thigh, squeezing it roughly and drawing some blood. you whimpered slightly, but you liked the sensation. your cunt tightened around his cock, and you found your body trembling slightly as jack abused that spot in you.

"fuck... so close... cum with me?" he said in between groans. you nodded your head, feeling blood rushing through your entire body. you felt jack's cock throbbing inside of you, and that set off your orgasm. you came all over his dick, and he was filling you up at the same time. he fucked you through your high, making your back arch as you came once more.

he pulled out, panting. "you... are incredible..." he laid down beside you as you caught your breath. you smiled and rested your head on his chest. then a thought came to your head. "what about your wife? don't you think she'll be pretty heated about this?" jack chuckled and shook his head. "don't worry about that, doll. she doesn't have to know about us. she'll never find out." and she never did.

author's note: gonna post the rest of the requests pretty soon. they're are like 6 or 7 of them so thanks for being patient with me yall :))

#rory culkin #rory culkin smut #jack thurlow #jack goes home #lana del rey #444rockstargf

[prodigal-explorer]

i dont exactly consider myself a pro-shipper but i am VERY anti-censorship. i hate all censorship. absolutely nothing in media should be censored whatsoever, the only exception being media that is marketed towards children because it should be up to parents/guardians/trusted adults to decide what media children are ready to consume.

but when it comes to adults? hell no.

“but but but it’s a problematic ship!!! 🥺”

there are problematic romances in real life. there are abusive relationships and sexual assaults in real life. we cope with these things by reading and writing about them and realizing that we are not alone, we are not crazy, we are going through something real. media is meant to connect people, and with the influx of social media, people don’t connect with each other anymore and censoring stories about sensitive topics purely because they’re problematic is severing that connection even more.

“but but but it’s pedophilia! 🥺”

i am a victim of pedophilia. i know many people who are also victims. again, if we don’t tell these stories, then there will be kids who have nothing to connect to who think that what they’re going through is normal or that it’s something only they will understand. it doesn’t normalize anything. if you read about pedophilia and your first thought is “okay great, now i can be a pedo because i read about pedophilia!” then it’s not the story or the author’s fault. it’s the pedo’s fault because they’ve always been a pedo. they were just looking for something to twist into justifying their actions.

and also the example i just described is something that absolutely NEVER happens. it’s something that antis made up so they could spread their censorship bullshit.

we should read stuff we disagree with. we should read stuff that is disgusting and messy and horrible if we want to. because those are all stories about the human experience. and if we censor one thing, what’s to stop people from censoring everything?

do you antis know about the wales padlock act? in america in the 1920’s until i believe the 50’s or 60’s, there was a LAW that stated that people could be ARRESTED if the media they created had any form of “obscenity” in it including nudity, pedophilia, and oh, you know what else? homosexuality. transgender characters. in fact, a play called god of vengeance by sholem asch was forcibly closed down and all actors and producers were arrested for “obscenity” because it described a beautiful and loving homosexual relationship between two young women.

do you see now? do you get why censorship sucks? you can’t just have some censorship. anybody can view anything as obscenity. bigots will turn ANYTHING into obscenity and lump it in with all the “problematic” stuff y’all want to censor. lgbtq+, interracial romance, etc. it could all be lumped in there and censored too.

i would rather have a few stories in the world that i disagree with or a few stories that make me uncomfortable than absolutely no stories that depict the human experience in a raw, unfiltered, uncensored way because when you censor art, it immediately severs all human connection that could have been formed from it.

so yeah. antis get the fuck off my page unless you want to change. i hate you and all the censorship bullshit you stand for.

#anti ship #proship #proshippers #proshitter #proshitters #antishippers #fandom #fandom crit #fandom critical #censorship #anti censorship

[enden-k]

Can I ask what makes Arlecchino evil? I'm v much a villain enjoyer and like some morally greyness, but I genuinely didn't pick up on a lot of bad stuff with Arlecchino. She was super helpful during Fontaine and seemed to be the only powerful person who cared about helping the common folk when the water levels were rising.

I'm not here to start an argument, just wanna expand my view 🙏

dw didnt think u want to argue! i will also use this to say i wont tolerate arguments, this goes for everyone here

i will talk about sensitive themes under the cut (mentions of when i was groomed/emotionally abused by my adoptive father/mentions of abuse/grooming in general) so if someones not good with this, be warned please and dont click for your emotional comfort.

i really love arlecchino (theres also difficult, personal reasons ig) and id rather wait for her to arrive to get more information than we have so far through other characters/side quests/main quest but well.

her goals aligned with ours in the fontaine quest which is why we have the impression shes a good/nice person, especially considering our other meetings with the harbingers we met so far (signora, childe, scara, dottore) and the situations. shes very calm and diplomatic (lets see how it changes in the next update when we fight her)

but we shouldnt forget how the travellers on their toes the entire time/everytime they come in contact with arle. its because shes a harbinger after all. shes a danger. her graceful politeness and calmness is supposed to have you on guard, make your hairs rise. shes mentioned to be manipulative and shes manipulating others to achieve what she wants by being nice and calm. she has ulterior motives. we should be careful. this is my impression based on my own gaming experience and idk if it was the same w others, but bc of us being on guard around her i was always prepared for her to turn on us until the end of the main quest.

anw, arle is supposed to be intimidating and have you wary. even tho she comes off as nice and polite, having done good and helped in the main story. its bc thats what she wanted and you happened to have the same goal. also lets not forget scaras and childes thoughts about her which already tells a lot

she has two sides. the one we saw in the quest, the graceful, calm, polite face to get what she wants. and the other, the one scara and childe talk about here, the one they call "crazy"

not to mention her codename, "the knave". what does it mean? servant. what else does it mean? "dishonest/deceitful man". basically, swindler. isnt it perfect?

shes manipulative and whatever her "true" nature is, we dont know (yet). she may have "good intentions" here or there but will achieve them no matter what it takes.

as for the thing you can consider as bad; the house of the hearth is an orphanage that raises children into fatui agents. only those who have potential join the ranks while the others are kept close (its not known whats done with them afaik). theyre basically grooming/raising child soldiers/spies.

before the sensitive stuff comes up, for the ppl who dont want to proceed, arlecchino fools/manipulates you into thinking shes a nice person/good parent. its amazing and so in character for her. its also scary how some ppl cant see the abuse/manipulation unless you went through this too or well. just actually read and realize it.

arlecchino is an emotionally manipulative parental figure. now, this is coming from someone who went through heavy abuse/was groomed by their adoptive father who was extremely manipulative and i spot so many things very well known to me. others who went through the same get this feeling. these signs you immediately recognize.

you get punished for the tiniest mistakes and when you get loved, it makes you forget all that was done to you, just for that tiny bit of affection you crave. you try to do your best, to do everything asked and expected of you, not to disappoint the only parent you have and youre dependent on, to be a good kid deserving of love and when you slip up youre in shambles. there was a time i did a tiny mistake by accident and my father said to me in the coldest voice "you broke my trust" and i remember so vividly how it broke me, how i cried until i got sick. i was physically abused before and none of it hurt me more than this. it still gets to me after all those years. emotional manipulation is cruel

what im trying to say is, she came in a time of need. taken as a savior while it just is one abuser swapped out with another. like my adoptive father having me dependent, giving me love i never received and being everything i wanted, making me believe hes everything i need, a common thing abusers do. wanting to do everything youre asked of and do it good, the fear of disappointing and being punished, believing you deserved it bc its your fault and treating your abuser like a savior, being conditioned. this is whats happening.

now, arle genuinely loves and protects her children; its very clear that the life of the children matter to her the most (look at childes line and freminet/lynette etc) - she was one of them too after all. so, its possible to love and still do these. moral greyness etcetc

anyway idk if its understandable or if i can explain it in proper words while maintaining a good distance so ill add the voicelines of the siblings heavily implying this, and also a tweet adressing this that brings it to proper words, better than i can say

tweet here bc tmblr doesnt insert the link properly

#idk if i want it be rebloggable bc i cant predict if ppl who love turning morally gray/villanous chars into saints come yell at me but <3 #reply #rambles

[therealprismcat]

PLEASE DO IT

the people have decided, here's a fanfic rec list of dsaf fanfics that arent focussed on davesport! (in no particular order)

Centipedes by Raccoonsandpossumswritesometimes [incomplete]

Dee centric fic which is a swap between Dee and Jack. Not only is davesport not the main focus, it's also pretty toxic. TWs at the beginning of each chapter, but heed the tags.

Hello, You. by galaticanthem [incomplete]

Another similar premise to Centipedes. If you think davesport is toxic in centipedes though, here it is arguably worse. Plot is a bit confusing as of chapter 7, but as it stands, here are the trigger warnings that I can remember off of the top of my head (but basically, if you're sensitive to disturbing themes, i'd skip this one):

Murder

Abuse

Kidnapping (by the looks of it but ????)

Underage drinking

Neglect

Body horror (I think??? it's so early into the fic im unsure of half these warnings but as it is rn i think it is important they're there because thats what it looks like at least)

Dave is very objectively NOT a good person in this fic. Like, at all. I don't think any future chapter could change that. If you're a person who cannot read about their favourite character committing absolutely heinous things theres nothing wrong with that and I wouldn't read this. If you can stomach all that though, it's a good story.

Dave and Old Sport Adopt a Kid by Wario_Speedwagon [incomplete]

Davesport is there and it's prevalent and not toxic, but it's not the main focus. It's more of an accidental baby acquisition fic. I can't think of any trigger warnings for this one, but check the tags. always.

Matted Fur by Afval [one-shot]

Evil ending fic with rabbit symbolism for Dave. All TWs are in the tags.

Sharp-Toothed Rabbit by orphan_account [one-shot]

More evil end Dave ft. animal metaphors! what more could you want? All TWs in the tags.

happiest day by grimkid [one-shot]

A fic about Jack's happiest day. Jack x Steven, no TWs iirc but heed the tags.

Octane Rating by dontrollthedice [one-shot]

Canon compliant fic about the good ending, only its harrysport. i dont even like the ship but this fic makes me so unwell /pos. No TWs I think but look at the tags.

NO MIDDLE-CALLING by XYZ_Countoriss [one-shot]

Silly chatfic, what can go wrong? -oh that right. No TWs needed, but look at the tags.

Operation Get Your Brother to Remember You After Years of Thinking He is Dead by Sockth [incomplete]

A fic focussed on Peter and Jack, I think the title is self explanatory. No TWs but look at tags.

Safety Infiltration by themostneontwig [incomplete]

After Jack betrays Dee in the evil route, Dave decides he needs to be stopped. A fic based around the idea of Legacy Jack founding the pizzaplex. No TWs that instantly come to mind other than the fact that it's set almost immediately after Jack kills Dee. Look at the tags though.

Hot Chocolate by Wario_Speedwagon [one-shot]

Ouch, set right after Jack dies the first time round. This fic physically hurt me and I mean that in the best way possible. TWs in tags.

After the Storm by themostneontwig [one-shot]

Christmas fic focussed on Peter and Jack. Read this one after Hot Chocolate, it can save you. No TWs unless you're Ebenezer Scrooge in which case dni

Jack's Squad Has UNO Night by Wario_Speedwagon [one-shot]

The title's a lie they play cluedo /j just some wholesome fun. No TWs.

An Unexpected Connection by End_Transmission [one-shot]

Post good end, but Jack 'lives'. We all know Dave had at least ONE kid. No TWs.

Peter Kennedy and the Worst Place on Earth by biptari [incomplete]

AU where Jack and Peter swap places. Steven x Peter. As for TWs I can't say everything off of the top of my head but I KNOW Henry is homophobic and transphobic in this. I can't remember if he says slurs 100% but I'm pretty sure he does use at least one so like, watch out. Other than that, heed the tags.

That's all I have right now. If you know some more then feel free to reblog to add them. No hate to davesport or anything but if you write dsaf fanfics that aren't focussed on davesport then you are my lifeline /hj

#dayshift at freddy's #dsaf #dsaf au #dsaf fanfic #dsaf fanfic rec list #rec list

[drdemonprince]

Hi Dr Price! In your recent Instagram story you described some of the bad-faith engagement and outright abuse you've recieved as your platform has grown. I was wondering if you'd be willing to talk a little about your journey with navigating abusive responses to your work? I'm very keen to start publishing essays online, but I don't know how well I'd cope with cruel responses or escalating threats. On my best days I have a thick skin, but I've always been sensitive and my emotional armour is easily chipped. Is it primarily a matter of building one's tolerance for discomfort, as you described in your essay on disobedience? Do you have any more advice specific to this issue?

Distress tolerance certainly helps, but you really do need to develop self-control and a firewall of sorts when it comes to not exposing yourself to more negative feedback than you can handle or than is helpful.

My comments are turned off for many reasons, but largely because I have decided I don't want to platform any old random message from any random person who I do not know, cannot vouch for, and who might not have even fully read the essay or post to which they are responding.

Comment sections are a tool for generating advertiser revenue for social media platforms by creating conflict and distraction in the name of "engagement." It is a game I do not play, and I believe that a culture of constantly commenting upon things when we don't have relevant expertise and haven't thought our ideas through actively makes the world worse. Not having comment sections also means I don't fixate on the moment-by-moment reactions of other people to my work. I post and ghost.

I don't read reviews of my books, I don't name search myself (except for the occasional look for new posts on Reddit), and on all socials I have all notifications turned off except for people that I already follow and trust. If someone is in my mentions having a tantrum I don't ever see it (thanks to Philosophy Tube for inspiring this policy). I get my information from books, peer-reviewed articles, and outlets that I have already vetted, as well as from conversations with friends and engagement in my actual community.

I do have a firm grounding in myself, and a strong belief in both my ability to think and my ability to change and revise my point of view, and I don't see other people's feelings or thoughts about me as a reflection of my value. Their feelings about me are their problem. so I don't worry about the fact others disagree with me at times. In fact, after a certain degree of public exposure, one must accept that people are going to think and say all kinds of nonsense about you, and that you do not have the capacity as a single human to take all that data in.

I think getting comfortable with being disliked is probably the highest hurdle for most people. The book The Courage to Be Disliked is pretty great in that respect. But I'd also just say that, you know, if you dont know anything about a person and you have no reason to trust anything they have to say, why should their opinion matter to you? most of its junk data or worse.

[sasagehoes]

THE NECROMANCER

Chapter I; Adventus𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑ Brandon Star x fem! reader

𓅨˚₊‧⁺⋆♱;; Leaving home to escape a fate worse than death was ideal, yet is it really worth all the pain and suffering that'll come from that decision instead?

masterlist | series masterlist

next chapter

a/n; Hello! This is my first time publishing here on tumblr, I'm really exited to start this series, I hope people enjoy it! (っ˘з(˘⌣˘ ) ♡ [English is not my mother tongue so please be patient]

CW; This series contains a LOT of sensitive topics. Just like the show, there will be individual warnings for each chapter, I'm not responsible for what you read.

Mentions of rape/ arranged marriage/ child abuse/ graphic depictions of gore / it's a GOT story..Just be prepared for the worst

READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION

The winds of Winterfell were as cold as ever when Lady Stark received a crow with a message attached.

The seal being from a house in Braavos, House Corvus, inside this letter, there was a betrothal proposal, the youngest daughter of their house to Winterfell's second youngest, Brandon Stark.

"I feel it could be a great advantage to join the two houses, our connections to lands in Essos are little if not unexistent" Said Catelyn Stark.

Lord Stark sighed. "I'll speak with Brandon. See what he says." She nodded and went outside to see her boys practicing archery.. one failing a bit miserably.

𓅨˚₊‧⁺⋆♱

Eddard thought this would be a great opportunity to talk to Bran about the situation right after slaughtering a bear!

"Bran, have you heard of house Corvus perchance?" he asked, looking at him. Brandon thought for a second,"I think I might have, but it's located in Braavos, so I don't know much." He answered

Lord Stark nodded "Well we got word from them today, a crow brought a letter" the younger hummed with curiosity, "A marriage proposal, to wed you and their youngest daughter, once the both of you become of age" he continued.

Bran's eyes went wide and stopped walking. "What if I say no? I've never even heard of them that well, even less of their daughter!" he spoke clearly distraught.

"We have some time to decide, and you can always say no if you meet her and end up not liking her, but just think about the things Winterfell can benefit from this union"

His father added. Bran didn't respond and just kept walking, making his father sigh

𓅨˚₊‧⁺⋆♱

"Robb, do me a favor, could you?"

he asked as he saw his oldest walking around the estate. "Everything okay, father?" he answered

"Everything is alright. I'm sure your mother told you about the marriage proposal for Brandon. Could you go talk to him ?"

Robb chuckled and replied, "He's not very fond of the idea, hm? I'll go talk with him" and left to go look for him.

𓅨˚₊‧⁺⋆♱

The eldest Stark walked around the halls looking for his little brother just as he spotted him, sitting on the floor, the younger said

"You're here to convince me about marrying some stranger, aren't you?"

Robb sighed as he sat on the floor next to his brother

"Yes I am, Bran, listen, if it were different people, they wouldn't have told you until she was on our doorstep," he said before continuing

"And if what I have heard about the women of bravos is true, you might want to accept that proposal," he said with a grinn

with that Bran looked up at him "what have you heard" he said

"Why dont you go ask Theon, yes?"

𓅨˚₊‧⁺⋆♱

"They say if you marry a Bravoosi woman you might be the luckiest or most doomed bastard in the seven kingdoms " Theon said with a smirk

Brandon's eyes shined with curiosity

"Why so?" he asked

"The women of Braavos have beautiful dark hair that shine with the sun, and although their climate is humid and cold they have sun kissed skin"

Robb said making Bran smile ever so slightly.

Theon joined in "I've heard that their hips are made to bear healthy heirs, broad and we'll rounded hips, perfect for grabbing in the midst of-" he stopped to chuckle once he noticed Bran's flushed cheeks

"You'll cross the bridge when you get there"

"But why would I be a doomed bastard?" Brandon asked awkwardly

"She'd leave you dry - ouch!" Theon said before getting cut off by Catelyn hitting the back of his head

"Don't fill his head with scum. He's far too young!" she said, which only made the oldest laugh

"He'll be a man soon enough," Robb said, ruffling Bran's hair before leaving, Theon by his side.

"Off you go, little man, go to your lessons with maester Luwin," Lady Stark said, and the boy complied with a small pout.

₊ ⊹𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐍𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐰 𝐒𝐞𝐚₊ ⊹

The winds started to get rather cold at sea, you had expected that since it was indeed the north where your betrothed lived

he was your chance at living a life without the fear of getting murdered by your own people for something that was out of your control.

The boat was filled with an indescribable emptiness, the spirits were low, you wanted to be left alone, still processing everything that had happened.

your mother had instructed that no man except for the Maester boarded the ship for you and your sister's safety. Yet not many wanted to embark the journey fearing of what would happen once they returned, only a few of the remaining loyal helpers of your mother accompanied you and your sister.

It had been weeks since you fled the castle, weeks since you heard the news of the death of your sister, weeks since you heard the voice of your brother.

you sat on your cabin looking at the floor, as your mind trailed to cries of your older brother, screaming at our father

"How could you let that happen to your daughter!" he screamed

"It was the best for the kingdom," your father said stoic in his throne. Your brother stood up and walked over to him. "She was raped! Then she took! her own life! how was that the best for the kingdom, you just let it happen?!!"

"Are you alright?" A voice took you out of your trance, your sister

you looked up at her and smiled

"Yes, of course" you said

she took your hand in hers and made you go up to the deck, "We are almost there.. Just two more days and you'll be safe," she said, holding your shoulders

you stared at her eyes, as tears started to well on yours. "What about you - will you be safe?" you say trough sobs she squeezed your shoulders "I will I,promise" she grinned but you knew, her eyes betrayed her.

It was only a matter of time before everyone knew that the necromeancers of Bravoos were back.

𓅨

When I woke up, my sister was standing next to my bed. "We have arrived dear, winter awaits" she said gently.

As she left, I stood up and went to look for the attire, I lingered infront of my trunk for a couple of seconds before deciding on the dress I would wear, I hadn't really thought much about it, while leaving Braavos, the only thing in my mind was not getting killed. Yet now that I looked at it - it's not very suitable for the weather in Winterfell

It's not so different to Braavos, but unlike there, the cold weather is not constant, the warm weather is enjoyed and well as the cold

,here, however, no matter how hard you try, the reminder that you're so far up north you feel it in your nails.

And although the winter has yet to come, the cold air fills your lungs and it stays, and it burns, and it won't come out until it is you that gets used to it, used to the cold.

You left your cabin all dressed up and were met with your sister and the Maester. On the deck packing some stuff, on your far left you could see some men proudly holding the banner of their house.

A direwolf decorates them, the animal of their house flowing with the wind as they get closer. You could make out what you guessed was the lord of Winterfell, Eddard Stark, from what you've heard.

They stopped as they waited to take you and your sister to Castle Ward, where you would be spending your life once you become of age.

𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑ Thank you so much for getting this far, can't wait to continue this series!! If you'd like to be added to the taglist,let me know ♥︎

(っ˘з(˘⌣˘ ) ♡

DO NOT;; RE-UPLOAD, TRANSLATE NOR COPY MY WORKS!!

This belongs to;;

-SASAGEHOES

#bran stark x reader #brandon stark #bran stark x you #brandon stark x reader #brandon stark x you #brandon stark smut #bran stark smut #game of thrones #game of thrones smut #game of thrones imagines #eventual smut #angst with a happy ending #slow burn #this shit gonna hurt yall #game of thrones x reader #bran stark imagine #bran #brandon stark imagine #imagines #three eyed raven #house of the dragon #hotd #GOT #GoT #fluff #hurt/comfort #hurt no comfort #-sasagehoes

[cupoftaae]

Forever And A Day (KTH x READER) series ♡ college spirit (chapter 7)

Summary: your lifelong friend is forced to face his true feelings for you once he breaks the number one rule of becoming friends with benefits: dont fall in love. He knows he loves you, but you on the other hand need more convincing of the most important thing: the right decision.

Genre: fwb. Roommates, friends to idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, smut, the whole 9 yards tbh.

Pairing: taehyung x female!reader

rating: 18+ (minors dni!!!)

word count- 5k

Chapter warnings- okay so this is probably the chapter with the most warnings, there is a lot of alchohol, lots of swearing, theres themes of relationship abuse, physical abuse, manipulation, blood mention, we see jungkook btw (bc its party time) Taehyungs heart is in the right place but he does something bad. Kaito is a dickhead say it with me. dont read if youre sensitive to domestic abuse themes, this one was rough yall. also apologies for spelling errors.

A/N- So this is the chapter I would label as story changing, everything kind of takes a giant move in an opposite direction from here on out, Its crazy but hope you enjoy!!

-

Growing up, you thought that life would just magically align the moment you hit your 20's, you would be married with 2 kids living somewhere that provided everything you needed, and anything you wanted. You can laugh at yourself now for thinking, or even considering, that your early 20's would be any different from your teen years.

Because, with that said, here you were laying in bed with Taehyung as he slept, while your boyfriend was out doing God knows what. Granted, he isnt the best boy to use as an example, but just a few hours ago you almost kissed your best friend. You are a lot of things, but despite the shitty situation, you are not a cheater.

You could have yelled at him, you could have made a big deal about what happened outside, but you didnt.

You told yourself that this was taehyungs night to shine, so you dropped it and did what you both always do, forget it even happened. He is stubborn though, and snuck into your bed right before you fell asleep.

Its not unusual for you both to sleep near one another, but you would think he would get the hint that things needed to simmer down for a few.....guess not.

"youre awake?"

you turned your head to the raspy voice beside you, rubbing your eyes as you hummed. "yeah"

He smiled and stretched, burying his face into the pillow before reluctantly sitting up against the headboard.

"You sleep okay?" you ask

"yeah" tae chuckled, "Sort of have a headache..."

"ah" you reached into your nightstand and grabbed some Tylenol, handing the pills over to him along with your not drunk water bottle from last night.

He smiled graciously and took the medicine, sipping the bottle before clearing his throat. "thanks" the boy yawned. "any plans today?" he looked at you

You pulled down the sheet and sat up as well, groaning at the stubborn sunlight peaking through your curtains. "Um...yeah. shit I forgot....some of my friends are throwing a party and I said I would show up. I dont know why I agreed"

"what?" tae whined "just dont go"

"nah they will be pissed at me, they already called me a prude for working and being home all day after school" you shrug

Tae sunk into the bed, upset that you would be out and about while he stayed in the apartment. "I'll just make an appearance, then make my exit, okay? it wont be like an all night thing, swear" you rambled.

"can I go at least?" he pleaded with big eyes

sighing, you look up at the ceiling. "eh, Im not sure thats....I dont know if its a good idea"

"why not?"

"because you dont know anyone over there except from Chae and Dahyun...who youve only met a few times, and-"

"whos throwing the party?"

"...I dont know? Some kid named Jungkook"

"see? you dont even know whos gonna be there so whats the difference if I go?" he insisted

"Because I definitely will recognize people, we all are on the same campus, you wont know a soul"

"Pleaseeee" he jokingly whined and held onto your arm.

"tae"

"Is kaito going?"

"yes"

"then I will too"

you scoff and pull back, "youre going just because he is?"

He looks at you, "no, I just- whatever im going" he stands up and flairs his arms around dramatically before going into the bathroom to wash up, not giving any room to further the conversation.

you fall back against the pillows and sigh. You never wanted to go, but you thought perhaps you had a chance at having fun, now that chance was at like....0.0002%. You loved tae, but certain people in your life dont, certain people who will be at that party, certain people who told you not to bring him.

-

"Yes mom, i-...yes yes, I already said that" you paced around the kitchen with your cellphone pressed to your ear, attempting to clean off the counters while conversing with your mother who was back in Gwangju.

"Well im just saying, your birthday is next month and I would come to Busan myself but my back is still giving issues, doctor said no travel. Would love to see you and kaito come visit me"

You looked around the kitchen as you listened to your mom speak, eyes catching on taehyung who was eating an english muffin in the living room, writing an email to his mom about how he won the art contest.

"I'll talk to him, we both have crazy schedules right now and the semester isnt over until the end of next month, so-"

"its okay if you cant, im just throwing it out there"

"no no, i'll find a way, ok? I only turn 23 once, and Im sure Kaito will love to meet you too."

Tae took a bite of his food and cocked his head to you, raising his eyebrows as you silently shrugged in response.

"Ok....mhm. I love you too mama, text me, okay? ...bye bye" you sigh and put your phone down.

"early birthday festivities?"

"yeah....Im gonna visit mom in a few weeks and she asked me to bring the..boy" you giggle, making him smile.

"she doesnt wanna see me?"

"I think she just wants to meet my current boyfriend, youll see her on easter" you pat his back and walk into your room.

-

"I think Jungkook is cute" Dahyun spoke up, biting into her donut as she scrolled through social media, showing his photos to Chae.

"eh he is oka- woah, yeah hes hot" she leaned closer into her friends phone as Kaito sighed and handed over their coffees. "thanks bean boy" chae chuckled and sipped her drink.

"If you guys are gonna harass me on my shift you can go" he adjusted his apron before wiping off the counter. "do you seriously plan on waiting until I get off of work? you cant drive yourself to the party?"

"what else do we have to do? and....its raining" dahyun drank her coffee, turning to Kaito. "plus you only have another 30 minuets, hurry up"

Chae laughed and walked over to sit in one of the booths as kaito took a new customers order.

"dahyun cmere"

The girl walked over and sat with her friend, looking down at her phone. "whats that?"

"Its Y/N and taehyung" she snickered, scrolling through the collected photos you took last night on your instagram.

Kaito peered over at his friends, curious upon hearing your name brought up. "Oh, yeah, they had this stupid art thing last night, guess he won or whatever" he dried his hands and handed the customer their drink.

"this doesnt look like a art thing" Dahyun smirked

"what?" he came from behind the counter, walking over to see a video of you, drunk, at some bar with taehyung, eating fries.

"she said she was going home after" he pouted and took the girls phone into his hands

"hey!" chae snatched her phone back

"she lied to me" he scoffs and looks again at the videos. "this was last night? youre sure?"

"it says 18 hours ago, yes"

He scratched his head and silently walked back to his position, not speaking a single word until his shift ended. The girls sharing humorous yet worried glances at eachother.

-

"He isnt picking you up"

"what?" you walk around the lobby of your apartment complex as you struggle to comprehend your friend on the other line.

"He said he cant pick you up, but he would see you at the party" Chae spoke louder.

"why cant he pick me up?, where-, what is he doing?"

"I dont know, but thats what he said, ask him" she responded shortly before getting distracted by someone else and hanging up on accident.

You sigh loudly and walk over to taehyung who was resting on the bench. "so hes not picking me up, big surprise"

"what?" he sat up and faced you

You two had gotten ready quickly around 6pm and waited in the lobby for your boyfriend, who you thought would be picking you up.

"I dont know" you shrug and pinch the bridge of your nose,

"hey its okay, i'll go back upstairs and get my keys...ill drive us" he patted your back as you looked at your feet.

"no its not that, I just....he's been acting so off and different. I sent him a cute message last night and he texted me back all lovey dovey this morning, now hes ignoring me, I cant take his fucking moodswings"

"im sorry" he mumbled, looking around at the busy lobby. "maybe...maybe I shouldnt go, like, do you think hes mad that we hung out last night?" he asked

"I dont know anymore, man" you look back at him, "I think we should just go, im not gonna hide from him...maybe I can get him to talk with me" you sigh and stand to your feet. "Im okay with you coming just really...keep your distance"

"from you?"

"from him"

he nods and stands, "okay, just wait here i'll get my keys"

-

The house party was loud, maybe too loud for an on campus event, especially considering it was only 7pm. You practically felt the music blaring inside of you as you timidly stepped into the crowded house. You were immediately met with the mixed aroma of sweat, alcohol, bath and body works perfume, and incense.

"eugh.." you turn to Taehyung and carefully grabbed his arm, leading him out of the busy room. "Just sit, im gonna go look for Kai an-"

"Y/N!"

you turn your head to be met with an already drunk Chae, bringing you into her sweaty arms.

"oh..hey, uh-"

"you need to come with me, we are doing Karaoke upstairs, and Im winning" she yelled, alcohol evident on her breath as it smacked your face.

"you can win Karaoke?" tae mumbled behind you

"yes, yes you can!!" she pointed at him and grabbed your arm, "lets go bitch"

"wait y/n, dont leave me" tae pouted and grasped your other arm.

"I promise ill be right back, okay?" you offered a slight apologetic smile before being whisked away by your friend upstairs, leaving the boy alone in a room full of unfamiliars.

As you made your way into some cleared out room, your eyes were drawn to the huge Karaoke machine set up. "woah..."

"Yeah woah cmon lets go sing a celine dion song"

"chae hold on, wheres Kaito?"

"who?"

you sighed and looked around before grabbing her shoulders, "my boyfriend, Kaito, I need to talk to him, like now. Tall, black hair, you know.....goes by kaito." you dramatically explained as you watched your best friends eyes widen

"Oh yeah.... he is mad at you" she snickered and was quickly distracted by other people, running away before you could question anything she had just said.

"what the fuck" you exhaled, pushing through everyone to try and find kai.

Meanwhile, Taehyung navigated the party downstairs as he awkwardly made his way to the kitchen. There was no order of cleanliness, there was no organization, and the looks of all the mixed red solo cups scattered throughout the entire room kind of disgusted him. He didnt trust any of it, he lifted up a bottle of what looked like tequila and sniffed it, nope, definitely not tequila.

He gave up on finding something to sip on, leaning against the kitchen island as he peered around the large space that seemed too loud for his liking.

Perhaps this was how you felt last night in the art museum.

" 'scuse me" a voice came up beside the boy, making him quickly turn his head and try to figure out who was talking to him, the dim lighting making it difficult.

"what?"

"youre standing in front of the vodka. excuse me" the man repeated, only then did Taehyung understand and scoot over to the side, allowing access to the alcohol. "sorry" he murmured.

"dont think Ive seen you around" the man joked, smiling as he poured and mixed two different bottles into his cup. "whats your name?"

Taehyung looked down to his feet and quickly decided if he should lie or be honest, figuring that these were all college kids, and well, he was not.

"uh, im taehyung. Kim taehyung" he decided, holding out his hand in a gesture of a handshake.

The man looked down and chuckled, ignoring the greeting and looking up at tae. "yeah? you seem unsure"

"yes, thats my name. sorry, i dont usually do parties and shit"

"i can tell man" he took a sip of his drink, audibly wincing before smiling. "Im Jungkook"

Tae raised his brow in acknowledgment

"wanna drink? you look tense" jungkook patted his shoulder and offered him a sip of his own cup, which taehyung reluctantly drank from.

"eugh, jesus christ, that tastes awful"

"I know, but it will get you fucked up" jungkook shrugged,

"hey jungkook wheres Jin at? he said he wou-" a voice came into the kitchen, stopping abruptly when he stood in front of Tae.

"hey" taehyung swallowed harshly

well. he found kaito.

Kaitos eyes drunkingly looked over his figure, a look of disgust and only disgust is what best could be described as his reaction to him being here.

"ah no way, you guys know eachother?" jungkook looked between the two of them happily,

"sort of..." taehyung chuckled, feeling sweat develop on his neck and back.

"wheres y/n?" he asked, looking at him intensly

"Uh, I genuinely dont know...she went away with chae and-"

"wait, y/n is here?" jungkook interrupted, stepping between them both.

"yeah" they both said at the same time before meeting eachothers eyes again.

"dude.....where is she? shes hot as hell" he whisper yelled, peaking into the next room excitedly.

Taehyung glared at the boy, waiting to see kaitos reaction.

"I know, shes my girlfriend"

"no shit dude!" jungkook slapped kaitos back, now ignoring tae completely. "lucky ass"

"nah man" they both stood a few feet away from tae in the doorway, speaking quietly. "she got the worst personality, stuck up as hell. walks and talks as if she doesnt know the only reason boys talk to her is for her tits" he slurs and bursts out laughing

"damn thats harsh man... even for you"

"whatever, i dont care. you can probably have her next...." he sipped his beer quickly

Taehyung felt the anger course through his chest, he wanted to run up and say something, but frankly, he was scared of Kaito, and you had mentioned something about him when he was drunk. If this was it, yeah, its scary.

He immediately stormed out of the room and pushed through the crowd to search for you, the music now blasting louder than before. He quickly walked up to someone familiar by the stairs

"Dahyun, is Y/N around? is she upstairs?"

"taehyung!" she hugged him, "uh...I think? Chae is probably working her. shes ok im sure" she giggled and dragged him over to a lighter area. "look at my manicure! give me an honest opinion. Jimin said it wasnt work $80 bucks and I should just do them myself now, but I think its cute and-"

she went on and on about something that had nothing to do with him for what seemed like forever. Whos jimin? who cares its just a manicure?

he thought to himself as he smiled and nodded.

"they look good, gotta go" he quickly spoke, politely tapping her shoulder before making a dash upstairs. He checked each door, opening up a bathroom to expose two randoms making out.

"oh! uh, im sorry" he covered his eyes and slammed the door shut, walking to the other hall and entering a loud and packed room. "hey chae..." he walked up to the girl, who was in the middle a very intense just dance session with some other poor girl who fell victim.

"heEyy!!" she slurred and danced over to him

He smiled and caught her as she tripped, helping her up. "whats upppp?"

He laughed and made sure she was able to stand on her own before speaking. "do you know where Y/N is?"

"did you see my dancing?" she randomly questioned

"yes, I saw your dancing chae, very nice, now have you seen y/n?"

she looked around curiously before speaking, "oh, yeah, she went to the bathroom!" she yelled into his face

"great, thanks" he gave a thumbs up as he went back into the hall. well he knew which bathroom you werent in.

He trailed down the hall and walked into a bedroom that seemed to be empty, he gently called out your name.

"I'll be out in a second" you shout back, making him exhale in relief. He shut the door to the bedroom and sat on the bed as he waited for you to exit the restroom.

"oh, tae, hi" you mumbled, walking out to him. "you okay?"

"y/n, we need to talk, like...now" he stood up as you made your way over, standing in front of him.

You saw the concern on his face as he spoke, clearing your throat. "wh-whats wrong? what happened?"

"I ran into Kaito and I think-

the door slowly creaked open, a certain someones head peaking in.

"Oh surprise surprise, youre in here with her" Kaito opened the door and walked over, stumbling over his feet.

You stepped closer to tae, feeling fear seep in as you took in your boyfriends very drunk state.

"get out" he looked at taehyung

"no im no-"

"just get the fuck out" he bit

"Taehyung please its okay just go" your voice choked, eyes tearing up as you led him to the door.

"dont let him do anything" he whispered, as you shut the door in his face, making him take a deep breath as he paced through the busy hall outside.

You slowly turned to the boy, waiting for him to speak.

"so, I know that...maybe this is not the best time or whatever to bring this up, but im ready to just..." he began, pausing after words as his thought process was slowed.

"ready to what?" you fidgeted with your bracelets, keeping by the door in case he tried to touch you again.

"move on with my life" he laughed and looked at you.

"wh..what?"

"y/n lets be honest, you dont give two fucking shits about me anymore, so why are we doing this. you dont care, you never have"

you scoffed, "Kaito you are drunk...stop this please, you have no idea what youre saying! How dare you say I dont care about you when all ive done is worry about where you have been and why you are upset!"

"oh please" he stood up and walked around. "you wouldnt care if I died tomorrow, you would find the next boy toy to move on to."

"stop" you mumble, "im not like that, you are being an awful person to me right now"

he walked over and laughed, "why? because im calling you out? calling you out for being a whore?"

you bit the inside of your cheek to avoid breaking out in tears right then and there. you couldnt even speak, you were too afraid and frankly confused on what even caused this sudden outburst.

"you are the one crying? really? I should be upset, I am upset."

he shook his head as he looked at you, " I dont think theres anything left for us right now, so just leave it at that, yeah?" he mumbled into your face as you shoved you aside, allowing him to open the door.

You were shocked, you planned on coming to fix whatever was going on between you both, all of the stressing, just to for him to get drunk and break up with you in some random bedroom. no.

You carefully grasped his arm before he left, "kai, please dont do this" you whispered, his arm forcefully pulling away from you. "dont"

Kaito stormed through the people out in the hall, making his way down the stairs as your eyes met taehyungs. You avoided stopping to talk with him as you decided to run after Kaito.

You were embarrassed. You tried to convince tae that you were in a happy and loving relationship, the little lie was now unraveling as the night ensued right in front of him and your friends.

"wait, please" you called out, following your boyfriend into the living room where the music blared. you tried your best to weave through as best you could, finally catching up to the boy and attempting to reason with him once more.

"baby please can we just talk?" you ask loudly, facing his back as he stood in the crowd.

"No, dont call me that" he mumbled.

"Y/N!!! whats up!" Jungkook ran out of the kitchen to your side, smiling and hugging you. "nice to formally meet you, are you enjoyin- why are you crying?" he pulled away and took in your appearance

"Im sorry Im just dealing with something" you calmly tried to explain, kaito turning around to the both of you. "dont listen to a word this slut says" he bit, making you swallow harshly.

Jungkook looked taken back, his eyes meeting yours sympathetically. "hey, cmon man, dont....dont say that. youre having another beer?" he asked, genuinely concerned for his friends behavior.

Taehyung pushed through and made his way to the living room, eyes wandering for you. He assumed it was best to just leave now, unaware of what had gone down just a few moments prior. He found you standing next to Kaito and Jungkook, watching from afar as he contemplated going over and taking you away.

"dont touch me" kaito shivered away from your touch, making you sigh. "lets go home to my apartment, we need to talk and get you sober, youve drunk too much" you spoke, looking at jungkook for support.

"yeah cmon, listen to her. its probably whats best." he nodded

Kaito looked down with anger at his feet as you stared at him for a moment, you were hesitant to speak any further, but the boy needed help and never listened. He needed to get sober and then probably never drink again. this....wasnt kaito.

"lets just go please? I'll take care of you sweetheart its okay, I-" your hand gently reached out to hold onto his jaw, carefully caressing it as you tried to get him to pick his head up.

You werent sure what exactly had happened, all you knew is that one second you were reasoning with him, the next, the side of your face was burning in pain.

Kaito had pulled back and struck you to the ground.

before you knew it there was a crowd of people surrounding the incident, Jungkook pulling Kaito away as he spit words out at you, none of which you could hear. The music had faded out of your hearing, and the lights were hazed. Your face burned with shame as you struggled to stand up, eyes watching you with concern and shock.

You felt hands immediately pick you up to your feet, turning to see it was Taehyung. You tried to explain but you didnt even comprehend what was coming out of your mouth.

he looked pale, in more pain than you were. His eyes glanced over you and back at kaito as he felt rage fill throughout him, carefully setting you aside as he approached the other boy and suddenly punched him across the face, the room gasping immediately.

"hey- fuck! stop guys!!!" Jungkook tried to seperate them, but there was no use. Taehyung had kaito by his collar, fist repeatedly punching into his face as he fell to the floor, blood on his skin and clothing.

You stood back, unable to fully understand what the fuck was happening. Once it kicked into your mind, your feet were racing over to him, yanking on the back of his shirt. "stop!!! Taehyung stop!!!!" you screamed, other guests joining in to help stop it as well. Your friends stood in the corner, shocked at what they had just witnessed.

"are you okay, miss?" some random man came up, asking you as you realized how many people had been around, asking you questions, none you even heard or noticed.

Someone finally pulled Taehyung away from kaito, who had passed out against the cold tile, nose and mouth bleeding as you watched in horror.

"What the fuck is WRONG WITH YOU?" you screamed at Taehyung, grabbing onto his shirt and shaking him, tears spilling as he looked down at you.

He didnt respond, he let you flip out as people tried to fix up the unconscious boy on the floor.

"you guys gotta go, fuck, the police were called" Jin ran out and spoke loudly, cueing the group of people to run out the door.

"we need to go" Taehyung spoke flatly, gently grasping your arms as he directed you out the door.

He led you to the car and put you into the back seat before getting into the drivers side. He didnt drive right away, instead he looked down at his bruised fist.

"why...why didnt you say anything to me"

You had curled up into the fetal position, tears falling down your cheeks as you tried to look out the window.

"all this time....all this time he was doing this and you never-" he stopped, leaning his head against the headrest and closing his eyes.

"im sorry" you choke out.

He took a deep breath, trying to collect himself so he could speak, let alone drive.

"we will have to talk, about all of this"

"what if you get in trouble?" you whisper

"I didnt do anything wrong, he fucking hit you. He hit a woman, they all saw it" he spoke louder, voice shaky.

you sniffled, the pain in your face and head suddenly becoming really obvious, making you wince.

"are you okay? shit, lets uh, lets get you to a hospital or something" he started his car

"no...I just need Ice"

"what if you have a concussion?"

you groan, "I dont, taehyung, he hit my cheekbone and jaw" you trace your hand over your face, hissing at the sharp sting.

"Im still gonna take you to a walk in clinic, im not risking it. we will go home and sleep right after, I dont want to hear you argue about anything tonight. Tomorrow morning we need to sit and talk." he sternly spoke, making his way down the street.

You didnt have the energy to fight, you were mad, but you didnt have the energy.

You were upset with Taehyung for making the situation worse, but you were even more mad with Kaito. you felt betrayed, he humiliated you in front of everyone you know. He put his hands on you, after saying he would never do it again, over what? nothing.

-

"there is no signs of concussion, but there will be signifigant bruising and damaged nerves." the doctor read over her chart as you sat in a hospital bed, taehyung by your side. it was late, you missed your bed, you missed Yeontan. You didnt think you would be here, especially for this reason.

"thats..good, better than having something serious" he exhaled

"do you wish to file a report against the person who did this to you?"

Tae opened up his mouth to speak, but you cut in

"no, its already being taken care of, thank you though"

She nodded sadly and walked off, giving you too permission to go home.

you felt over your cheek, now covered with bandages.

"Im so sorry" he whispered, looking at you.

"tae.."

"no, im sorry. im so fucking sorry. I know I shouldnt have done that, but I.....I saw him hit you. I saw him hit you, y/n."

"i know" you mumbled, looking down.

"when I saw it happening, I just couldnt control myself. It was wrong of me, I take blame, but jesus y/n...."

"I know..." you repeated, voice cracking slightly. "tae please I just wanna go home, okay? I dont wanna relive it right now"

He nodded softly, standing to get to your side. "yeah, lets go home." he held your ice pack for you, leading you back to the car.

The sounds of the city surrounding you infiltrated your ears. You really couldve been anywhere in the world tonight, but here you were, in this position.

You knew you shouldnt have gone to the party, you regret it with your whole being, because not only did you suffer, but you dragged Taehyung into it too.

You had yourself to blame. you wanted to cry and scream but all you could do is lay in bed that night once you got home as taehyung gently rubbed your back, reassuring you that it would be okay.

Yeah, about that thing you said earlier, about assuming your twenties would be fantastic and amazing......11 year old you needed a reality check.

taglist:

@turnthepageandbeburnt @taebangtanbabe @borahaexoxo @lelefoodlover @tan-veee

#kim taehyung #taehyung #kim taehyung fanfic #taehyung fluff #taehyung smut #bts fanfic #bts #bts fluff #taehyung fanfic #bts smut #bts taehyung #tae fluff #tae smut #bts x reader #tae drabble #tae fic #taehyung angst #taehyung imagine #taehyung series #Kim taehyung series

[shigayokagayama]

maybe a weird question, but do you have any recommendations for non-mob psycho media? I’ve been in search of something that hits similarly/is as well made and I trust your judgement o wise one. I’m not super picky, so recs of any kind would be appreciated :)

im like the worst person to take media recommendations from because you have to tie me down to watch something new and then i get obsessed with it forever, in terms of things ive seen recently that hit the same tumblr is NOT lying dungeon meshi is really good and if you start watching now you're gonna be watching at the part where it starts getting crazy

other stuff ive been into (gets progressively less mob psycho and generally more depressing like the further down we go bc i tend to get into really, really sad shit):

-i <3 deltarune but everyone has already played that. deltarune good. if you havent played deltarune play deltarune. genuinely like it more than undertale. also if the last chapter of deltarune is just the confession arc i called it and deserve a million dollars

-same w spiderverse. listen usually i dont care about superhero stuff but god these movies are good and i really hope they stick the landing.

-everything everywhere all at once continues to be one of my favorite movies ever

-rainworld (video game, very difficult but skurry's playthroughs do a good job summarizing the plot and general vibe of each route if you wanna watch those. i watched my friend play survivor ages ago and ive been playing through survivor with a friend on multiplayer and decided to watch some playthroughs to get a feel for the map and GOD DAMN the story of this game. rivulet route almost made me cry.) fair warning this is animal death the video game.

-severance (live action tv show, general plot is some sort of dystopian future where they invent a surgery where you can seperate your work self from your normal self so you clock into work and then black out until your shift is over. except your work self is just stuck at work forever. only 9 episodes but very, VERY good)

-i actually really enjoyed the scott pilgrim comics and the anime i wish anyone ever could be normal about them. id definitely suggest comics (if you can handle the 2000s humor) then anime. also basically everyone knows this but fair warning that starting out the main character is in his early 20s dating a 17 year old, it is explicitly treated as a shitty thing by the narrative and theres nothing explicit and its made very clear that he has 0 feelings for her whatsoever and is just using her as an ego boost but if youre sensitive to that stuff i might skip this one

-lots of webcomics about animals. i read so many webcomics about animals its like. my main media intake. this is part of the reason that i dont understand complaints about the art style my favorite webcomic looks like this

its called doe of deadwood and ill think about it until the day i die. others im currently reading (since this one wrapped a while ago) are "what lurks beneath" (cat cult on an island) "waves always crash" (cat cult on the beach) "i didnt know" (cat cult in a barn), toufati sawa (hyena trying to avenge her clan) and africa (leopard trying to survive the harshening world with her cubs) warning for animal death with all of these and general abuse warning for all those cat cult ones bc. cults.

-i like warrior cats. do not read warrior cats. its not very good and youll get stuck here forever.

-pathologic but the actual game and not just people describing the game please watch someone play the actual game summaries skip so much of the meat of the story and the characters. or play the game if you can bear learning to strategically quicksave. fair warning there is a lot of racism depicted against indigenous people in these games and while the framing of it generally aires on the side of "racism bad" there are a lot of kinda shitty tropes that come with it.

-listen bojack horseman is one of my shows it is the polar opposite of mob psycho in like every way and i would never in a million years recommend it if you want something that hits like mob psycho but if we're asking for just things i enjoy this is one of them. heavy cw for drug usage and abuse with this one. might want to give "does the dog die" a look for this one bc people are not joking about how heavy this show is

-same with hospice. hospice is a concept album about a hospice worker and a patient and has had more of an influence on me than any other piece of media ever bc i found it at the exact perfect time in my life for it to be relevant to my circumstances and now its like part of my identity. heavy cw for abuse also

-speaking of concept albums hey have you listened to tyler the creator he has several. WOLF especially i really like because the plot is actually like. kinda intricate. he also says the f slur a lot in WOLF but hes bisexual so diversity win?

-succession good. tw for like. everything though. probably "does the dog die" this one.

-hey have you ever watched david lynch's 1972 film "eraserhead"

#me and my friends tor and mich read the entire manga in 2 call sessions #i put everything else under a readmore #i feel like the more you know about my interests you can look at anything i write and go #hey. hey i see you.

[ttaehyxng]

Deprave │ KTH (M)

↞Descent │↞Desire

Series Masterlist

Summary: Taehyung is your drug, quickly working his way into your system and intoxicating you until you can't live without him.

A/N: Thank you for all the love on the previous parts!! If you enjoy this please reblog and send feedback!!!

Tag list: @fingers-crossed-07 @yourtmblrgirlfriend @teekook @lcmoncxke @ageneralweirdo @everrrlasting Enjoy!!!!!!

Word count: 5k

Yandere! Artist! Taehyung x Naïve! Fem! Reader

This story is 18+ and contains triggering themes including but not limited to: romanticism of yandere behavior, obsessive ideation, kidnapping, heavy manipulation, name calling, descriptions of child neglect, depictions of violence, familial abuse, ptsd, murder (self defense-kth's father is a pos), trauma bonding, description of a panic attack. If you are sensitive to these themes do not read.

Other tags: porn with plot, hyyh au!, crime family ot7 au!, soft yandere, oral, y/n squirts dont @ me, lots of introspection, codependency

I do not condone the actions in this work of fiction!

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

You too are hot. That's all you feel as you wake up, bare flesh sticking against Taehyungs, cheek resting on his bicep, facing him. Taehyung is also hot, the thought makes you smile as you study his sleeping face. He is laying on his stomach, back exposed to you with his face turned in your direction. His hair is messy, pieces sticking in every direction. His mouth is open slightly, snoring softly, worn out from the night before. You blush thinking back to everything he said to you, and how good it made you feel. Everything that you'd done together had been better than anything you could've imagined.

Your eyebrows draw together as you notice scars on his back that you had missed in the few days you'd been together. There are fresh pink scratches that you had left behind but also small, pale circles and slashes- rough, healed over skin- scattered throughout his back. You can only assume the marks were from his father. It was hard to imagine that anyone would ever want to hurt Taehyung, let alone put out cigarettes on him. The more you thought about Taehyung taking the brunt of his fathers abuse to protect his mom and sister, the more your throat started to feel tight. He had a heart of gold and you really hoped that his dad got what he deserved. Nevertheless, it seemed like Tae had to have worked on himself a great deal to become such a well rounded person.

You never would've thought that someone so successful and handsome would care about you in any way. You tried not to give into self deprecating thoughts but you couldn't help but compare yourself to him. He had an amazing personality, being gentle but charming at the same time. He was insanely handsome. He just didn't seem like someone on your level, a paralegal, living paycheck to paycheck in a studio apartment. You were boring, the most exciting thing you'd done in the past month was rescue a stray cat. As much as you tried to be exceptional you always fell short, always being stuck in the monotony of your life. It seemed too good to be true. You hoped last night hadn't been part of a cruel ploy to just use you to pass the time in captivity. Your chest tightens at that thought, feeling guilty for doubting him. Taehyung wasn't the type of guy to play with someone's heart like that.

You think back to his words from last night. 'Even before now I admired how diligent, empathetic, and caring you are.' It warms your heart knowing that he thought about you too before you were in this situation together.  In another timeline maybe you would've been together eventually, this was just the push you both needed to let the feelings bloom. You almost don't want things to return to normal. It was nice to just rest all day, not worrying about work and spending time with someone who adores you. Maybe this isn't so bad, I could get used to this. You roll your eyes at your musings. You're being held against your will right now, get a hold of yourself. This isn't some getaway where you escape the real world with your lover, it's dangerous. The scent of the chloroform was something that you needed to remember, the people holding you could do whatever they wanted to you. Various worst case scenarios begin swimming in your mind, thoughts of true crime cases you'd vaguely heard about popping up. You need to get out soon, fearing the worst for yourself even though you were finding yourself growing comfortable in this confined space.

Small places had a coziness that you had been drawn to all your life. Spaces where most people would complain of being too cramped. When you were small you'd sneak your way into your parents closet and hide behind the clothes hanging up, using a little book light and reading for hours and hours until you heard them call for you, finally noticing your absence. In many ways you were in the same place, hiding from the world, waiting for someone to notice your absence. Thinking back, your parents probably should've kept a better eye on you, it always took them way too long to realize you were gone. You wished you could just count on your parents to come to your rescue, surely they'd notice your absence eventually? Or would they just brush it off thinking that you are too busy to call. You weren't about to get your hopes up that they'd come to your rescue.

Maybe Taehyung would be able to convince Namjoon to let you go, satisfied with only keeping Taehyung captive. Your heart sinks at the thought of Taehyung sacrificing his freedom for you. If you were going to get out it had to be together, you'd live the rest of your life with regret if you didn't. There had to be another way to get you both out.

If you both got sick Namjoon wouldn't want you both to die, maybe you could fake a severe stomach bug and escape when they bring you to the hospital? He could just bring his own doctor to check on you, or have someone escort you both every step of the way. There were so many factors, making your jaw clench in concentration.

Taehyung working things out with Namjoon would probably be your best bet. You could stay in the closet- comfortable in your isolation together for a few more days- it wouldn't hurt. If anything happened that made you actively worried about your safety you could always cross that bridge then. There was no use working yourself up since your captor hadn't disturbed you during your stay so far.

Too wrapped up in your thoughts you don't notice Taehyung's snoring stop, a small smile forming on his face.

"Having fun watching me sleep, princess?" He says with his eyes still closed, his gravely morning voice knocking you out of your reverie. "Cause I can keep pretending if this is what does it for you."

You choke on your own words, mouth still dry and voice a little hoarse.

"I was not, I was just zoned out! I just happened to be zoning out on your face," you chuckle, cheeks warming up in embarrassment. He opens his eyes and cups your cheek, bringing you in for a gentle kiss. You hadn't really noticed last night but his lips are so soft, molding perfectly into yours.

"You can zone out on my face anytime sweetheart," he whispers, not wanting to pop the bubble of morning time intimacy formed between the two of you. You think of how you must look right now, messy is the best case scenario. You probably had morning breath, tangled hair, and swollen eyes from crying last night but he still looked at you like you were the sun his universe revolves around. A soft smile graces your lips.

"You promise?"

"Of course."

He pushes his arms under your back, rolling you under him as he makes space for himself between your legs, littering your face and neck with soft kisses, tickling you in the process. You half-heartedly struggle, giggling under his touch, caged by his arms. You catch his lips with your own, smiling into the kiss, thoughts and concerns about your parents and escaping being moved to the back burner. This felt too good to ruin with your worries that could wait. You reach over his shoulders and weave your fingers into his silky hair, keeping him in your embrace. Your legs open to accommodate him, wrapping around his hips as he rests part of his body weight on you.

"Be careful baby, I might get too comfortable and want to stay like this all day," he growls, nipping at your neck with a little bit of force, reminding you of the lovebites and bruises left from the night before. "Or is that what my little slut wants?"

Goosebumps run through your body as his breath hits the shell of your rear. A breathy whine escapes your lips, your hips reflexively bucking against him. This just eggs him on further, grinding agonizingly slow against your heat. His deft hands make their way to your plump chest, rolling your nipples between his digits. The mix of pleasure and pain only caused you to feel needier, trying to press yourself closer to him.

"P-please Tae," you cry, seeking more friction but not getting enough to satisfy your need.

"What do you need princess? Use your words," he slows his pace to a near stop as he teases you. Your head is growing foggy with arousal.

"Need you, I need you so bad, please-" you just wanted him to touch you again, it felt like he was a drug that you were going through withdraws from. He pulls away from your neck and gives you a quick kiss on the lips, pulling away after to check in with eye contact.

"It's okay baby, I'm gonna make you feel good. Is it okay if I taste your needy little pussy?" Your eyes flick from his to his full lips, imagination running wild at the thought of him eating you out. You nod your head quickly, the only thing you can voice is a hum in approval. He looks like a man starved as he descends down your body, stopping momentarily to suck on your nipples softly. All of your soft noises encourage him further as he gives each some attention, pulling off with a pop and looking at them with hazy, blown out eyes.

"You're so fucking beautiful, I can't believe how lucky I am."

Growing impatient, Taehyung grips your legs and buries his head between them, needing to taste your nectar from the source. He eats you out like a man starved, tongue flat against you, pressing firmly as he laps up all your gathered essence from your slit to your clit. His mouth is so hot and soft, sucking on your clit as you writhe under him. You've never felt anything like this, the vibrator you used and your fingers were no comparison to this man depraved. It takes him an embarrassingly short amount of time to pull an orgasm from you but he doesn't stop there, keeping you trapped in the euphoria of your high as he continues his assault. His nails bite the soft skin of your thighs as he readjusts his position, holding your legs open as he focuses on overstimulating you. You struggle to stay still, your reflexes causing you to try and close your legs around him and push him away. You want to be still for him but it's so hard when his mouth is driving you crazy. Nails digging into your palms as your fists clench in the sheets, trying your hardest to keep your lower half from fighting him.

"I know you're doing your best baby but you need to hold still for me, I'm still hungry for you and I'm not gonna stop till you give me one more," he pries your legs apart, spanking your pussy lightly. "You can do one more, baby, be a good girl for me."

The need to be good for him washes over you, filling you with the strength you need to resist your instincts to fight him off. You nod, whimpering, unable to form coherent thoughts other than needing to obey him. You squeeze your eyes shut again, gripping your own thighs to hold them open, knuckles going white. With his newly free hands he adds his two middle fingers inside you to overwhelm you further. It was all too much, his fingers pumping with a gentle but consistent pace combined with his mouth on your clit has you seeing stars. You panic as a familiar warm feeling settles in your core, tapping Taehyung's arm.

"Taehyung it feels like I'm gonna pee stop-"

"Shhh no you're not, it's okay just let go for me," he soothes in his sweet, condescending tone. The pace of his fingers speed up, building the feeling inside you until it comes to a peak, pulling his fingers out as you violently squirt. Not wanting any of your cum to go to waste he dives his mouth back onto your slit, lapping up everything you had to offer him. Once you're thoroughly fucked out he finally lets up, giving your clit one last kiss, smirking at your full body shiver from the aftershocks of the most intense orgasm you'd ever had. Your eyes are blurry from squeezing them shut so tight, your body feels like static in the best way, legs sore as you stretch them back out from their previous position. Taehyung eyes you, wiggling his eyebrows, clearly feeling confident in his skills. He moves back up to your level, kissing you passionately-letting you taste yourself on him- before cuddling into you, content.

You wonder if every morning could be like this, waking up with someone who makes your heart swell so much you thought it might burst. Without thinking you utter "I love-" cutting yourself off before you finish that thought out loud. You didn't want to guilt him into repeating the same back to you, afraid of hurting you.

He never misses anything, pulling back to look you in the eyes.

"What was that?" He says, tone more serious than you were used to, head tilted to the side.

"I love this, that's what I was saying," you brush him off, looking away from his intense eye contact. Displeased with you looking away he guides your chin back to facing him.

"Look at me princess," he warns, eyebrows drawing together. "Do you remember what I told you last night? You don't have to hide your feelings from me. I want it all, your ups, your downs, everything. Are you sure that's what you meant?"

Do you love him? You know it should be too soon to feel this strongly about someone but you can't deny that he was now part of your heart. It was hard to deny the deep affection you held for him, and you didn't really want to be away from him anytime soon. Every new thing he shared about himself, every song he hums to himself, every piece of art he creates, everything he did amazed you in some way. 

Should you tell him right now? You didn't want to scare him off, thoughts of him pulling away after made you worry. But if he didn't feel the same, why would he have checked with you? If he didn't love you too he could've ignored it, right? He looked almost disappointed when you brushed him off, that had to mean something. Convinced in your line of reasoning you decide to take a leap of faith in him. 

"I love you, I'm sorry," you stutter out, eyes focusing on the mole above his lip. "I know it's too soon and I probably sound like some lovesick virgin but I think I love you. I just didn't want to say that because I don't want you to pity me and say it back before you feel the same way. You just make me feel better than anyone I've ever met and I'm bad at keeping my mouth shut."

He lets you finish, eyebrows relaxing as his demeanor turns back to warm and comforting. He gives you a moment to look back into his eyes before he replies.

"I love you too, and I'm not saying that for any other reason than it being the truth. I know I said last night that we didn't have to put a label on what we have but if you feel the same way about me I don't see a reason not to. I love you, I love you, I love you. If you want me to keep saying it until you're convinced I'm not just pitying you I will."

You feel like all the oxygen in the room has been taken away. His eyes didn't waver, he didn't stutter, everything that he said appeared to be the whole truth. This was the first time you had said those three words to someone romantically to be met with the same energy. So used to the awkward rejections, or worse, the forced 'I love you's you weren't prepared for what Taehyung had given you. Total and complete acceptance and love. You can't stop the tears from falling.

"Really?" you're able to get out in between hiccups.

"Really really, I promise," he trades your positions, pulling you on top of him while he shushes your cries, humming softly while pushing your hair behind your ear and playing with it while you calm down. "I'm sorry it seems so far-fetched that I'd love you, it's honestly hard not too, you're the best."  The soothing feeling of his hands in your hair and his quiet song, making his chest vibrate comforted you.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Moments like these make Taehyung regret lying to you the most. His love was real, he'd always been genuine with his feelings for you, maybe holding back a bit. Still, he felt guilty for deceiving you, knowing that if you ever found out the truth your faith in him could be shaken. If only you had been able to see how the world was infecting you, dimming your light.  He wished that you would've come to him before any of the lies and deceit and asked him to sweep you away and rescue you from the cruel world. Before now that notion would've never even crossed your mind. He knew the lies would be worth it. To you he used to only be a passing neighbor and Taehyung knew you'd never make a move to change that. He still knew that lying to you was wrong, and he hoped that eventually you'd see things his way on your own. You didn't need anyone else but him, he'd love you more than enough to make up for anyone else's meager attempts at loving you. It was so easy with you, you were just so receptive to his love it was like you knew deep down that you were his.

He'd show you the real world, pulling off the blinders that you had on throughout your day to day life. If you could see how little your friends cared about you you'd understand. He'd expose them, he'd already had all of their information, their social media, addresses, access to their phone records. It'd be as simple as letting you read through one of their group chats which conveniently excluded you. There were multiple instances of them gossiping about you and betraying your trust. That would disappoint you but it wouldn't be enough. All the plans that they made as a group week after week, without even thinking about inviting you would be what finally plants the seed of resentment inside you.

Your family was a different story, you seemed much more willing to accept your family's mistreatment. Checking the phone logs of outgoing and incoming calls and texts made it obvious that you were pulling most of the weight in your relationships. You didnt talk to many of your relatives, the only people you contacted regularly were your parents. Going back through your text conversations over the years Taehyung could piece together how your parents treated you. To him it felt like your parents had just given up after you went to college, maybe even before then. They pulled away checking in less and less, maybe to save the pain of having an empty nest or it was just easier after you were independent. They never offered to help you through school, acting like getting the scholarships you'd worked tirelessly for were easy to come by. The second you turned 18 it was like you were a fully developed adult in their eyes and they were eager for you to get out of their hair. They converted your room into an office space only days after you had moved away, solidifying the fact that you wouldn't be welcome to return home if you ever needed to. They even sent you pictures, proud of all the hard work they'd put in erasing your existence from their life like it was supposed to make you happy. For some years it seemed like you had pulled away too, but after a health scare your father went through a couple years ago, you made more of an effort to reach out. Even in an emergency they wouldn't treat you with respect, demanding that you drop everything in your life to come help take care of your father. It didn't matter that you had appointments with advisors or that the cost of last minute travel would be exorbitant. Out of guilt and the fear of losing your parents you obliged, further cementing your innate belief that their needs came before your own. 

When you had your own emergency -a burst appendix- you had called and texted them over and over without either of them answering. You were fine after an emergency surgery but you were without support. Once they finally returned your calls -they had been at dinner together- they didn't see a reason to make the trip to see you since you were alive and stable. Back when he poured over your text conversation during this time Taehyung was dumbfounded and enraged that anyone could be so horrible to you. If he had been in your life he would've done anything, no matter how hard, to be by your side. 

He did some further digging into your parents, wanting to find something that would make you have no choice but to cut ties with them. Through Hoseok's connections he was able to get a copy of their current will and testament and he knew that it would be the key. They weren't planning on leaving anything of value to you, their life insurance benefactors were their lesser off siblings-your aunts and uncles- they'd be leaving you with their vehicles and their possessions. They had no property because they rented the home they lived in so if anything happened to both of them you'd get stuck with finding a home for all their belongings and the chore of selling two cars since you already had your own. Hopefully that would be your last straw.

Eventually he'd find a way to show you the true character of your loved ones, it just had to be done carefully. He'd given Namjoon all of the information so that if there was ever a good moment to show you he could do it for him, that would save him some of the headache. 

At least he could rest knowing that you'd fallen for him, the sight of your eyes shining with joy unmistakable. Now his goal was to break you down so that you couldn't live without him. The sound of the metal door opening and two trays of breakfast being slid inside your cell breaks Taehyung from his train of thought.

"C'mon angel we need to eat, I can't have you passing out on me," he moves to sit up, chuckling at the whine you let out from having your rest disturbed. You sit up too, pouting a little as he moves away from you off the bed. He stretches out his sore muscles, giving you a nice view as he retrieves your respective meals.

After breakfast you take a shower together, deciding to plan out how you'd get out together after. Taehyung had a way of easing your fears and soothing anxiety that you'd built up inside that you didn't quite understand yet. You knew that talking out your ideas with him would be for the best.

Now that you'd confessed your feelings it was much harder for you to focus on something besides each other. Every time he touched you your heart leapt,, even just light kisses pressed against your forehead. As much as you didn't want to admit it, it felt good to be in here and subconsciously you caught yourself avoiding the subject of escape. You begin to admire every part of Taehyung during the shower. The water dripped down his back. Droplets clinging to his hair. His strong hands as he washes his body diligently, quiet, in his own world.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

His father had been belligerent, screaming in his face after coming home with the stench of liquor hanging on his breath.

He didn't mean to.

He couldn't stop himself.

He didn't have a choice.

When his mother tried to defend him she was pushed away, slamming into the wall with a solid crack, the noise sending Taehyung into a frenzy. His father threw him to the ground as well, turning around to face his sister, cowering in the corner. The bright green of the broken soju bottle a few feet away was the only thing he saw, bile rising in his throat as he urgently crawled towards it.

He couldn't hear anything else besides his fathers voice ringing in his ears.

'You're a piece of shit. You never should've been born. The world would be better off without a shithead punk like you.'

Time stopped. Adrenaline filled his body with the strength to stand, the bottle neck tight in his grip. The bottle pierced his father's stomach so much easier than Taehyung had imagined. The blood was so wet and hot and unyielding.

He couldn't stop there, if he did his family wouldn't ever be safe

He dug the bottle deeper, remembering all the times his father had made him or his family keel over in pain or cower in fear. The bastard stopped his rampage, turning to face his son in shock. He lunged toward Taehyung, hands moving to the boy's throat to try and defend himself.

Its kill or be killed.

Taehyung had the upper hand, beating his father to his own throat, dropping the bottle and squeezing the elders neck as hard as he could. He barely registered his own blood soaked hands making it difficult to get a good grip .

It felt like hours waiting for him to stop struggling, body finally giving out and sagging against him.

Taehyung was finally strong enough to stop him, finally able to save his family.

He came to his senses enough to notice his mother's screaming and sisters sobbing once the ringing in his ears stopped. It felt like he was hearing them from underwater. The sound was muffled like when he would submerge his head below during a bath to drown out the sound of his parents arguing.

He was numb as he moved to their bathroom, running hot water over his hands, the blood mixing with the water, tainting what was once clean. He looked down at his clothes -blood making them stick to his flesh- growing sick to his stomach. The shirt he wore, now stained red used to be white. He shrugged off the clothing and stepped into the shower, letting the hot water wash away his sins. The water was so hot, burning his skin, washing away the crimson evidence of his accident.

That's all it was, an accident.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Static filled Taehyung's ears but he knew someone was calling for him. Someone important.

"▓▓▓▓!" he couldn't tell what they were saying but it sounded urgent.

"Taehyung!"

He feels the fog wash away as his eyes focus on yours, water still pouring over you both. Your eyes are watery and panicked. Your nails scratched at his forearms as his hands tighten against your delicate throat the same way they had many years ago. Recognition consumes him as he releases you, a wave of panic and guilt hitting him like a brick wall. He can tell that you're confused and scared, tears streaming down your face as your legs give out under you. He can't stop tears of his own, collapsing in front of you, mind racing, trying to think of ways to atone for what he'd done.

"Fuck- I'm so sorry y/n baby, I don't know what happened. I'm sorry- what did I do?" His question falls on deaf ears as you heave, trying to fill your lungs with oxygen as quickly as you could. "I-I-I don't know what just happened, it was like- like I was back at home with my father and I- I I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I love you so much I never wanted to hurt you y/n."

You don't know what to do with yourself, you feel so exposed, confused, and scared. Your neck is sore but luckily he regained composure quickly, you hadn't been deprived of oxygen for too long.

Taehyung looks just as confused as you are and despite what just happened you feel your heart break for him. He is crying harder than you'd ever seen before, panic filling his frame as he rushes to the toilet, throwing up from the shock, dry heaving after his stomach was empty. He kept apologizing, over and over, shaking from fear of what he'd done to you. You knew this had to be a trauma response or something similar, he wouldn't hurt you if he was in his right mind. You knew that. You decide to trust your heart and move toward him, crawling on your knees to the corner of the shower where he was holding himself, trying and failing to calm down.

"Hey hey hey, look at me," you speak softly, trying to soothe his panic attack as gently as you knew how. "I'm okay-I'm okay, I promise baby."

"Fuck fuck I'm so sor-" he can't stop another hiccupping sob from his body, looking even more confused as you shush his cries. "Wh- why- why are you over here? I hur-hurt you."

"I'm okay, I know you didn't mean it," you try your best not to sound too hoarse, fresh tears pricking at your eyes as you see how broken and vulnerable the man you loved looked right now. He looks like he is going to reach for you but he holds himself back.

"Ca-can I touch you?" he asks, eyes pleading for your comfort and warmth. You nod and scoot closer so he can wrap you in his embrace, squeezing you delicately but firmly, rocking you both back and forth. You stay like that for a while, letting your breathing regulate together and your heart rates slow. Once his breathing slows down he pulls away from you just enough to inspect your neck. There wasn't too much damage, the skin was pink there weren't any visible bruises besides the ones he knew were from the night before.

"What happened?" he asks, eyes pleading for your honesty.

"I don't know, you were zoned out for a few minutes then I tried to get your attention and that's when it happened," you explain, your voice full of understanding. "I don't know what you've been through but I know you and I know you'd never hurt me, that's why I'm not scared of you right now."

"This will never happen again, I promise you," he is once again amazed at you, your kindness and compassion holding no bounds even though he didn't deserve it. He never wanted to hurt you again, the thought of it hurt him tenfold. "God I don't deserve you at all do I angel?"

"I think everyone deserves a bit of grace and understanding, you've been through a lot haven't you?" you work your fingers through his still damp hair, adrenaline starting to wear off as you start to feel the soreness in your neck. Logically you knew you should be scared of him but you couldn't find it in yourself to be. He had shown you the most raw, vulnerable parts of himself and that made you feel special, you would be his safe space.

"Y-yeah, that's true but if I ever do that again I don't even-"

"You won't do it again, I know you won't, repeat it back to me" you interrupt before he can start to talk himself into a corner.

"I won't do it again," he repeats, maintaining eye contact with you.

"It was an accident."

"It was an accident."

"Good, you can't go there Tae, it'll be really hard to get yourself out," you say gently, nuzzling into the crook of his neck, kissing the skin softly.

"Thank you baby, I love you so much," you feel tears falling from his cheeks to your own. "How'd I get so lucky, huh?"

"I don't know, but I'm happy you did."

A/N: Part 4- Despise Coming Soon! Thank you so much for reading!!!!! Sorry it took a hot second to come out but its all done!!! Reply if you want to be on the tag list!

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

#shaking crying throwing up #yandere #bts #bts fanfiction #bts x reader #taehyung #yandere taehyung x reader #bts fanfic #taehyung x reader #kim taehyung x reader #kim taehyung #bts v #v x reader

[veliamore]

Aahh okayokayy!! My request is a lil odd so bare w meeee-

Please may I request a Tsukasa with Terrible Mental Health/Depressed Tsukasa? Idk if you do angsty stuffs but it’s always Y/n who’s depressed and i’m a sucker for role swaps yk? Ofc if you’re sensitive to MH that’s fine, you dont have to do this! Please don’t stress yourself and have a good day <33

Keep hydrated <33 luv ya 💖💖

ok so i never wrote these kind of stuff but we r here to learn right ? Though i got a super idea for this , but i think it will contain some spoilers here and there

! WARNINGS ! : SPOILERS , angst no fluff , depression , SH !! , changed AU , ALIVE Tsukasa ( past story ) , killing , abuse , bad things , OOC Tsukasa

and i guess , i'll just miss him ...

People were always scared of Tsukasa Yugi , at school , in the streets , even at home his family was terrified , but nobody never said anything. They always looked down at him , got away from him , why couldn't he just disappear !? Everyone was scared of you too , why were you even with a devil like him ... this was a question that passed through everyone's minds , even yours. Somehow you were enchanted by him , nobody knowed him like you did , he told you anything that passed his mind everytime. They always pitied his twin brother Amane , of course you did too , Amane didn't deserved this , but neither did Tsukasa ; he really did loved his dear brother , you swear.

You hated the twins house , when it wasn't quite like a cemetery , there screams of agony , something that nobody wants to hear , something you were used to hear unfortunately.

Tsukasa had again abused his brother , you didn't know if ut was with a knife or with his bare hands , you didn't want to know. Amane bandages were off again , blood-soaked , he had really big dark circles under his eyes , his voice gone ; it was normal for you to take care of him and his brother , to make sure that nothing extreme could happen.

After taking care of him you left him alone in his room and went to Tsukasa , he was in the kitchen , sitying on the ground with hands colored in red , the color of the blood both his and of his brother. Calmly you approached him and sitted on the ground with him , without saying any words , you didn't have to , you can easily read Tsukasa trough his actions mostly. His face had a blank expression on it ; everyone thinks he enjoys hurting his brother but its not like that at all. You took his hands into yours and helped him to get up , getting him to the sink ; you started to wash his hands and arms. Under the blood there were many cuts of different sizes , some seemed new , others were a little bit old " it hurts " Tsukasa complained looking down " i know dear. Did you self harm again Tsukasa ? " you said nicely ... you always asked nicely , but you wanted to cry and scream for him to stop all of this , this wasn't the Tsukasa you fell in love with , you don't know what happened to him , when he had disappeared for 6 month , just to come back randomly like nothing happened , but obviously something had happened " It wasn't me , i told you [ name ] , he .. did this "

You stomped irritaded " who is " he " Tsukasa !? No one gets close to you at school , so its not some bullies , Amane could never do this to you , so why do you persist with " he " , who is " he " !? " oh no , you screamed at him for the first time ; he broke down in tears , smiling , he continued to talk but you couldn't hear anything , you hugged him closely.

That night , after 2 hours of bandaging him up , you were on the porch of their house , ready to go " don't touch the bandages and if something happens call me right away , okay ? " he nodded ; before going on your way you hugged him a last time , he returned it " i love you [ name ] , do you know that ? " he asked " mhm .. ! ". While you were walking , he looked at you like you would be the last beautiful thing he would see ; he was right though , he closed the door and silence fell on the house.

Amane Yugi , Tsukasa Yugi , their mother and father , were found all dead. Tsukasa Yugi was stabbed by his twin , Amane Yugi was found dead at the school , for suicide , their parents were found dead too in their house , people don't know if it was for suicide or other reasons. [ Name ] [ Surname ] was the only person attached to one of the twins , its still unknown if the person in question does know something about the tragic deaths , some sorts of secret , The mystery that surrounds the story of the " Red House ". After 50 years all if this is still unknown by everyone.

I really hope this is good , i had fun writing this !!

#anime #jibaku shoujo hanako kun #toilet bound hanako kun #reader insert #x reader #tbhk x reader #angst prompt #tsukasa yugi #tsukasa yugi x reader #tbhk spoilers #jshk x reader

[johannwolfgangvongoethe]

reading yaoi for the plot

recently i seemingly entirely stopped my life for a week to read the visual novel Slow Damage.

i dont really play vn’s (reading in front of my pc is HARD) nor do i read that much boys love (i am a bit of a gayboy by nature, so im not opposed to it) so what drove me to absolutely devour this one.....i honestly dont know. i would never have bought it for myself but my bestie gave it to me. so here we are.

slow damage is a game that you Could play. maybe should and maybe shouldnt. its sad and since it deals with self harm, suicidal thoughts, violence, sexual violence and rape, child abuse and just about every other bad thing you can imagine.......... man that shit can be depressing as hell. and since its a eroge, they are out there sexualizing shit they really SHOULDNT.

AND I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!! all those “fiction doesnt affect reality” talk some people do is bs in my opinion. yes, you probably wouldnt hurt people irl bc youre reading this rape scene. but YES, bad porn will still condition your brain negatively in the long run.

anyhow. slow damage is pretty damn self-aware. dont get me wrong man, i love the game so much. and yet, and yet.

its so deeply important to me how the game really pictures.... unconditional love between friends and multiple different endgames that finish the story Well for the protag. he can attain salvation and peace. whether it means never touching the wounds of his past or confronting it headfirst. either way he can go through the worst of the worst and end up better. or worse. its all so fickle but thats the good part right. mental health is very sensitive and as a chronically sick person, he is so so vulnerable. (not madarame. fuck everything to do with him. i think theres a storytelling and character study merit to his ends as well but this paragraph wasnt about them)

ive been thinking about talking about it but theres probably people who have. better more informed takes than i do. here are my 2 cents anyway

id love to talk about the ludonarrative dissonance that is a yaoi game with rape scenes taking a stance against rape

im also really intrigued by the setting; a very desensitized city with desensitized people, which we are supposed to see as sad, yet a lot of scenes are there for shock value

CAN WE TALK ABOUT GENDER. WHY IS SLOW DAMAGE SO FILLED WITH GENDER. ITS EVEN GOOD WITH GENDER. I LOVE THE AMOUNT OF GENDER IDENTITY TALK!!!!! WE LOVE TO SEE CIS PEOPLE TALK ABOUT GENDER. WE LOVE NORMALIZED DYSPHORIA TALK. BUT ALSO I LOVE HOW SENSITIVE THE TRANSLATION WAS ABOUT ITS TRANSFEM/GNC CHARACTERS

the fact that the game has an Entire big arc about gaslighting and an abusive relationship, that makes the protag really really internalize selfhate and doubt and makes that mindset smth that he wears like a protective “its just us two against the world” shield. its so sad yet so close to life

the protag, though horribly abused and traumatized, has the advantage of having a very functional very very loving support system in the form of his two best friends, one of which happens to be a doctor. can you imagine how much worse this could be. im constantly aware of it

thinking a lot about how much class plays a role in the last route and towa and fujieda only start to get along once their perceived differences are lifted, in fact them being “the same” is of fundamental importance - but also undermines how unbridgable their differences would have been otherwise

deeply in love with the fact fujieda, as someone who studied law and has been dealing with courts professionally, is this huge vigilante. bc he doesnt trust justice to happen unless he does it himself. and towa is important to him, but ultimately his own goals are just a bit more important than towas comfort. i love when characters have spines <3

on a related note, i also love when characters dont have spines. taku is literally my fav. the fact hes a human sanctuary contrasts so beautifully with him withholding vital info, constantly telling white lies, being conflicted about Everything, but eventually going to jail bc he thinks he Deserves it

how and why is eiji a metal gear solid character stuck in a pokemon characters body

#slodaposting

[mumpsetc]

Hey Harmie! <:) I was thinking and I wanted to ask, since y9u talk a little bit about the curious things you watch on here, what kind of movies/shows/various media do you like and/or would recommend? The only thing that I ask is for warnings on the stuff that you recommend in case they're on the more upsetting side ( ex: heavily gorey/dealing with heavily upsetting themes [ex: suicide])-

I'm Just Gonna Post a General Array of Stuff With No Theme or Coherency So Pick N Choose if You Want :]. I'll Try n CW Everything I Remember But if Something Sounds Esp Troubling Check It On Does the Dog Die

TOSSING EVERYTHING UNDER A READMORE SO I DON'T CLOG THE FUCKIN... Dash

It's Such a Beautiful Day (Upsetting Depiction of Mental Health, Could Possible Trigger Someone Whos Psychotic, Idk Watch This One When You're in a Good Spot)- An Animated Film By Don Hertzfeldt About a Man Named Bill and His Mental Decline

Tatami Galaxy - A Charming 13ish Episode Anime About a College Student Musing About the Variety of Ways He Could Achieve His "Rose Coloured Campus Life". Its Sorta an Anthology Where Every Episode is a Different Version of the Same Events Its Fun.

Funny Games (Extreme Violence, Home Invasion, Child Death) - This Movie is One of My All Time Favorites, Theres a 1997 and a 2007 Version, They're Both the Same Movie though Just With Different Actors and Languages So Pick if Youre In a Subtitle Mood or Not. DEFINITELY Check Doesthedogdie for This One If Youre Sensitive, Theres Something I'm 100% Forgetting

Melancholia (Death, Grief, Big Scary Planet) - Lars Von Trier Kinda Sucks But This Movie is His Best. It's About Two Sisters Struggling to Live Together After One Has an Episode and Also a Huge Planet is Going to Smash Directly Into Earth. A Really Strong Emotional Story.

Dogville (Lots of Tasteless Sexual Assault, Death, Extreme Classism) - Not Actually Sure If I'm Recommending This or Not I Just Think Its Important Sometimes to Watch a Very Artfully Made Movie That Fucking Sucks (I Like This Movie Also So Egg on My Face). Lars Von Trier is the Worst.

Ingrid Goes West (Suicide, Stalking) - One of the More Conventional Movies on Here, Ingrid Goes West is About a Woman Moving to California to Insert Herself Into the Life of an Influencer She's Obsessed With

Swing Girls - DELIGHTFUL Japanese Film About School Girls Starting an American Style Jazz Band. Feel Good Stuff All Around in This One.

We're All Going to the World's Fair (Grooming, Mental Decline) - One of the Most Accurate Depictions of Growing Up Online, This Movie is About a Teenager Named Casey Participating in an ARG.

Wasteland (Cults, Mental Decline) - This One is Free on Youtube, It is an Anthology About a Bunch of People Living In a Valley and The Lives They Lead. Its Hard to Explain This One But the Last Segment, the Final Exit of the Disciples of Ascensia, is One of the Most Lasting Things Ive Ever Seen

Drop-Out Comic (Suicide, Gender Dysphoria, Drug Use, Abuse) - A Free-to-Read Webcomic About Two Girlfriends Driving to the Grand Canyon to Kill Themselves. I'm Gonna Recc This One the Hardest Its Phenomenal, Though Chunks are Currently Down/Being Rewritten But Those Don't Change the Story Much

Sooo Yeah I Hope You Have Fun :] Don't Feel Like You Do or Dont Have to Watch Any of This I Was Just Kinda Spitballing, Sorry if This is a Downer List I Was Typing This Up and Halfway Thru Realized I Had 2.5 Feel Good Picks

#I Will Also Say I Have Plenty Blindspots #I Can Admit My Taste Runs a Bit Sundance Which Means I Havent Seen Too Many Older Films or Non American/European Which I Want to Work On #My FInal Reccomendation Im Doing Here in The Tags #Its Freddy Got Fingered That Movie Fucking Rules #CW On That One is Everything Everything Happens in That Movie Its Great #That Reminds Me I Should Also Watch The Greasy Strangler Cuz It Looks to Be Of That Level of Humor #Dreamy.txt

[strathshepard]

Alvaro Barrington: Oh, Sandy? Sandy, Sandy at Karma New York:

Figuring it out is hard and I’m sorry

We have to be gentle with each other’s hearts

I Like America and America likes me

How dare you make this harder

Why cant you let me have this

You cant be this liberally idiotic like common sense has to come into play at some point

Russiagate

Show me the incentive and ill show you the outcome

Alternative currency schemes

They fell for the rhetoric they fell for the hype

Negros take abuse as a sign of love

The patina of the privilege class

The story is no longer the boss instead we sell narratives

I think most people just want to improve their condition and i dont think people are as tied up on the philosophy of the government as they are about improving their condition

The creation of the library across the united states was the greatest act of philanthropy

We must build before the backshots

Unholy alliance

Every debt is a social obligation

Play stupid games win stupid prizes

I think they just dont care about the sensitivities and not caring about the sensitivities when you’re talking about black people when your talking about black people not caring about them is the same as hating them

Pop culture is Art plus time

Alternative asset class

Experienced to be photographed

Rage against the dying of light

Chief everything officer

Professional buzz words

Peak entitled neoliberal feminist

Betta belly burst than good food waste

We have all become very adept at saying things that are technically true but lack context

People want any type of Fame even if its embarrassing

You know the family dynamics on repeat

You reading about you and you aint wrote

Middle class laziness and entitlement masquerading as social justice warriors

Id prefer clarity to agreement

The Math aint Mathing

You ever lived with somebody while they eating you starved

Asset Bubble

Of all the things i care about this is below my line

Educated by other people’s interest

Who is served by these stories

#Alvaro Barrington #flowers #green pink #poetry

[shrug-em0ji]

had not intended to readmorepost but this is long and rambly and has some sensitive stuff i think?

i mentioned to my coworkers the other day that my mom was a pathological liar (it was relevant, i promise) and neither of them dug for further details but i got caught in this loop of wanting to explain and justify it, probably because its a thing that i used to do a LOT and have only recently gotten better about. but i was thinking about like. why people lie. and my mom and i in particular. and about how when you are hurt profoundly, especially over a prolonged period of time, in ways that people cant see and often dont acknowledge as being worthy of consideration, it becomes really easy to just. fudge the details a little bit. add in an extra pinch of violence. make it sound just a little worse so that when people react their response is proportional to how you felt rather than to what happened.

i have a story that i have often used as an example of the things that happened a lot when i was growing up - i was supposed to be cleaning my room, but i was a kid, and i was bored and overwhelmed by the mess, so i sat down on the floor, on a pile of clothes, and spent 45 minutes daydreaming about my toys coming to life and helping me. when my dad came upstairs to check on me and saw that i hadnt cleaned at all, he got really angry and picked up a little armchair that i had in my room and threw it at my wall hard enough to leave a decently big hole.

for a long time, when i told this story, i said that he threw the chair at me and missed, that i didnt hear him come in, that i had been working and he just wasnt happy with how far id gotten. and i used to get really angry at myself for lying about it - obviously, if im lying to make it sound worse it must not have been that bad, im making a huge deal out of nothing, theres no reason for this to even be a thing that i tell anyone ever. but it was the opposite. i was on the floor, in the only place that i felt safe or like i had any modicum of control over, and someone who was supposed to care for me came in, towered over me, made me feel small and helpless, and then intentionally picked up a large heavy object and threw it across the room because he knew it would scare me. he wanted me to be very very aware at all times how big and strong and angry he was, and how helpless i was to stop him. "even in this safe quiet space that is yours i can break your stuff and hurt you, you are not really safe here at all, i am always in control"

but like!!! i was a kid!!! i didnt understand the concept of subtext! now, when i tell people that my dad threw stuff a lot when i was a kid, im usually talking to people who understand that throwing things is inherently threatening. it is a thing that abusive people do to scare you and let you know that they want to hurt you and they can hurt you if you make them. but when i was growing up this was very much not the case! if i told an adult my dad threw stuff their response would be "well you didnt get hurt so you're fine, nothing to complain about"

so i lied about it, because i was terrified of him and needed people to believe that he was terrifying.

i was reading a book recently - one of the big abuse books that everyone recommends, though i dont recall precisely which - and i got to a bit about incest and immediately felt so unbelievably guilty. i never accused anyone in my family of sexual abuse but i wanted to so badly, and i never understood why. i just felt like id been taken advantage of, like my body didnt belong to me, like i was tainted and ruined somehow, but no one had ever really done anything so i had no reason to feel that way.

and then i kept reading and the author specifically started drawing attention to specific behaviors - not illegal behaviors, not behaviors that get you barred from having custody of your kids, just... weird stuff. a parent drawing attention to their kids body, making sexual innuendos about them, commenting on their imagined sexual activity. stuff my dad did. "you'll probably be really good at sex someday, just make sure you dont end up a whore like your mom" "i miss when you were a little kid, now youre ready to start popping out babies" "people will say anything to make me look bad, i bet theyre spreading rumors about us sleeping together" "youre almost like a wife, theres just a few really important things you cant do"

it made me feel....... gross. and i didnt know why. i didnt understand it. i wanted very badly to not feel that way, but not as much as i wanted someone to understand that i felt that way.

i stopped showering regularly in middle school, when i moved back in with my dad, because i didnt want to be naked in the same house as him and my brothers (for related reasons) but i could never explain it to anyone. i spent a lot of time in the guidance counselors office being questioned about what the problem was and utterly unable to find the words, or really understand it myself. so it got chalked up to being lazy. and i just spent several years absolutely hating myself and not understanding why i felt the way that i did. i wanted to lie to explain it and could never quite get there. and then the other thing happened and gave me a plausible explanation so i ran with it, and have continued running with it for years now, despite the fact that the worst symptoms predate it by 3 years.

im not.... entirely certain why i wrote this out. i think its just been stuck in my head for a while now? and i wanted to say it. i wanted to be able to say "here is a real thing that happened to me and here is how i felt and feel about it and actually i dont care if you think my feelings arent proportional to the events, i need to be able to accept this as a thing that happened if im ever gonna get over it"

so fuck it.

#probably dont read this

[butterscotch-brigade]

thinking about your post urging people to reading various genres and content and to challenge their reading skills... and i agree with you so much i definitely think it can strengthen one's reading comprehension and broaden prospective. like even if the quality isn't good or the genre isn't your thing, it can be a fun experience to read something outside of what you're used to. your post just makes me think how nice it can be to just read and gain anything, whether that's maybe knowledge or new queries, out of something new.

also i have to ask do you have any book recommendations? :)

YOU!!!! YOU GET IT!!!!!! one of the many values of reading is what you GAIN from books, and how you can apply that to ur life - whether its philosophical/existential questions or entertaining moments or parts that made you emotional in some way. even if you didnt like a book, walking out of it with the feeling that youve gained/felt something new or intriguing is its own reward.

and as for recommendations.....i have to say my favorite genre is definitely murder mystery, and my favorite author is agatha christie!!! the queen of plot twists imo. her books can be offputting to some bc a lot of the time her books dont always open up with the murder itself; many chapters are dedicated to the events LEADING UP to the murder in order to provide context and drop hints. not all of her books do this, but i can see why some people might become impatient when reading some of her work. that being said, my favorite book of hers had got to be the murder of roger ackroyd, but i also love the abc murders and hercule poirot's christmas.

as far as standalone books go, one book ive been devouring recently is i'm glad my mom died by jennette mccurdy, an autobiography about a former child actress who faced considerable abuse both in her home life and on set for some of her most famous works, most notably "icarly" and "sam and cat." its a hard read that contains descriptions of abuse, eating disorders, trauma, and child exploitation (sometimes sexual). ultimately, though, it becomes a book about healing as she describes life before and after the death of her abusive mother. mccurdy's writing style is so creative and snarky and clever, with some dark humor thrown in. not for those sensitive to the discussed themes, but definitely an engaging read.

i would also like to recommend a book that ive recommended to other people in my life before: penpal by dathan auerbach. this is a horror novel with themes of stalking, death (both humans and animals), and kidnapping. it originally started as a series of short stories online before being published as a full book. i dont want to talk too much about it bc i dont want to spoil anything, but its one of the most suspenseful and chilling stories ive ever read. highly recommend going into it blind bc it hits so much harder when u dont know whats coming.

finally, and this is a VERY different and more unconventional choice, i strongly recommend reading calvin and hobbes. it was a newspaper comic strip that ran from 1985-1995, and it was what inspired me to start drawing and writing stories in the first place. there are several books and collections containing various comics from the strip's run, and theyre all fantastic. they will make you laugh, cry, and think. i know what youre thinking: "how can a newspaper comic be so good?" but trust me, TRUST ME, its one of the most inspirational works of art i have ever come across. without calvin and hobbes i likely wouldnt be where i am today, it literally changed my life. please read calvin and hobbes i am BEGGING you.

theres a LOT of books i love but i am currently living in an apartment farther away from my hometown, where i have a bunch more on my bookshelf. so sorry if these recommendations arent extensive enough i dont have access to my actual Book Supply akskdkdkd

thank u for letting me talk abt books!!!!! have a wonderful day/night/etc and always remember to keep reading :)

#vanilla answers #SORRY that this was so long. Autism Brain oops