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endwersed · 16 days

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by the fabulous @dear-massacre 😘

How many works do you have on ao3?

21 - it would be a lot higher, but I purged all but one of my old Destiel fics back in 2017. They weren't very good, so I can't say I really regret it 🤷‍♀️

What's your total ao3 word count?

319,994

What fandoms do you write for?

Now, just Teen Wolf 🐺

Top five fics by kudos:

Find Your Fire - Reddie (IT)

Clue(less) - Reddie (IT)

Nah, He Didn't - Destiel (Supernatural)

Worst Enemy - Reddie (IT)

as dear as a brother - Sterek (TW)

Do you respond to comments?

Embarrassingly, it's very hit and miss... I want to! I love and cherish every single comment I ever get! But I find the process of replying to comments bizarrely stressful, so sometimes it takes me... a while. And that while might be, like, years. Sorry!!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I genuinely don't have anything with an angsty ending posted; I need my boys to be happy too badly for that. I guess I could say maybe striking out - just because it's not finished yet, and where it is in the story right now is angsty af!

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All of them have rom-com level happy endings lol. Maybe Clue(less) - it's a childhood friends-to-lovers soulmate AU, so it has all the sap that comes with those particular tropes wrapped up in there.

Do you get hate on fics?

I wouldn't call it hate, per se - but I guess my interpretation of Stiles is a bit harsher/more rough-edged than others I've seen, and some people don't vibe with that, so I get comments telling me they don't like Stiles in my story for XYZ reason.

To be clear - I also don't write Derek as a completely faultless, entirely perfect guy. I also have him do bad (arguably worse, in some fics) things. But for some reason, I don't ever really get the same kind of comments about him!

Do you write smut?

Like, almost exclusively at this point. It's like my brain can't come up with a story unless I'll get a chance to write them fucking nasty in it.

Craziest crossover:

None, they're not really my jam.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

omg yes! years ago! It was this Destiel HS AU I had posted on AO3 (since deleted because it was... not good) and someone posted it onto ff.net and claimed it was theirs. I can't remember if I ever was successful in getting it taken down.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don't think so!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not.

All time favourite ship?

All time is so hard... I do probably have to say Sterek. I shipped them intensely back in 2012, and I ship them even more intensely now. So - yeah. Probably them.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Are we talking real WIP that I've actually made a meaningful dent in? Or just ideas I've put down to paper?

Because I have so many ideas, there isn't enough time to actually finish them all lol. But for fics I have actively started, I'm pretty confident I'll manage to muddle through to the end of all of them, even if it takes a little while.

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue and smut, I think.

I tend to develop a scene around the dialogue - in that, it's the dialogue that will come to me first when I'm planning the outline, and I'll note it down for when I come around to writing the scene. Then it's mostly a case of refining that dialogue and building the scene with descriptions around it.

I also love smut as character study. It's not just about being horny for them. It's about being horny for their introspection, too.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I don't have the imagination to come up with some of the flowery prose I see and love from other people. I wish I did, but that's just not how my brain works unfortunately!

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I only really feel comfortable writing in languages I'm fluent in. For anything else, I think we all know Google Translate can't be trusted, so I just... avoid it.

First fandom you wrote in?

Harry Potter! Wolfstar all the way back on ff.net <3

Favorite fic you've written?

Oh god, this is hard. Let's go with a Teen Wolf fic, because they're the nearest and dearest to my heart right now.

I think I'd say feels so good inside. It was so much fun to write, and I just love loss of virginity fics so damn much.

Open tag to anyone who wants a go!

#my fic #not sure who's already been tagged soooo open to anyone!!#this was fun <3

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wander-wren · 1 year

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it’s 5am i have not slept i have a hot take

i see antis argue sometimes that you CAN portray “problematic” things in fiction, as long as you show they’re bad/don’t romanticize them.

first of all that’s super subjective. second of all.

have you ever read major character death. have you ever read hurt no comfort. have you ever read, like, mindbreak.

i’ve never seen anyone complain about a fic that is graphic torture and nothing else, or like, a mental health ventfic with a dark ending. and i think about that quite often, the different standard we have for sex.

yknow? it applies in other contexts too. have you ever noticed that when people argue fanfiction is a lesser form of writing or otherwise bad, they always bring up sex? “the odyssey vs your 200k destiel omegaverse mpreg” “the great gatsby vs your slowburn stucky hs au where the climax is a full chapter of smut”

it’s a trend i noticed. it exists outside of fanfic too! original fiction circles have this whole thing about not including sex scenes bc The Plot, or dismissing erotica as a less serious, or maybe just lesser, form of literature?

and maybe, just maybe, that’s bad. to some degree i think we put sex on too high of a pedestal. it’s just a thing people do. and, i dunno, i write a lot of angst and whump and what-have-you. i like exploring trauma and recovery, it’s literally a thread somewhere in 90% of what i write. maybe all of it, in some small capacity. i don’t have encyclopedic knowledge of my own work.

so i’m not directly affected by this, but i do think it’s hypocritical, and i do think it’s strange to impose limits. you can create, but only within these boundaries, defined arbitrarily by me. like, okay jan. sure.

#wren wrambles #fanfiction #proship #anti anti #ao3 #idk man #the discourse #its funny bc i dont even go here like #i hate hurt no comfort of all varieties #and the whole. recovery part. thats my jam. so i literally Am drawn more to fic thats Not Romanticizing shit or whatever #some antis probably still want to burn me at the stake #hello my name is wren my hobbies include defending creative expression i personally very much dislike #i dont want to step on any toes tho so if someone who does actually know what theyre talking about more than sleep deprived me #pls enlighten me

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yourmomxx · 2 years

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M A S T E R L I S T

* · 　　 . .　 ★ 　　 ✧　 .. ˚ 　 * · . .　 ★·　　 ✧　 .

—

Outerbanks. ⊹ °. * ✧ . ✦　 . • ✺ ° ★ . ° . ⋒

the birthmark on his cheek - jj maybank x male!reader

jj maybank relationship headcanons - jj maybank x male!reader

jj maybank relationship headcanons - jj maybank x female!reader

the art of making a house a home - jj maybank x male!reader

prom date - jj maybank x male!reader

glory and gore - jj maybank x male!reader

girl crush - jj maybank x male!reader | requested

so much for the larger couch - coming soon | jj maybank x male!reader

heal my shattered heart (tear it all apart) - coming soon | rafe cameron x reader

—

American Housewife. ⊹ °. * ✧ . ✦. ✺ ° ★ . ° .

snow on the beach (weird but fucking beautiful) - masterlist

—

Criminal Minds. ⊹ °. * ✧ . ✦　 . • ✺ ° ★ .

hotch x plus size reader - requested

derek morgan taking care of you (smothering you) when you’re hurt) - requested

emily prentiss x wife!reader - requested

domestic evenings with aaron hotchner / spencer reid - nurse!reader | requested

accidentally revealing your secret relationship - aaron hotchner x reader | requested

—

Teen Wolf. ⊹ °. * ✧ . ✦　 . • ✺ ° ★ . ° . ⋒

stiles stilinski falling in love with a chimera headcanon - stiles stilinski x male!reader

—

Celebrities. ⊹ °. * ✧ . ✦　 . • ✺ ° ★ . ° . ⋒

madelyn cline social media au part 2 - fem!reader

lando norris social media au - fem!singer!reader

madelyn cline x fem!reader - requested

—

Random Shitposts. ⊹ °. * ✧ . ✦　 . • ✺ °

cat

mommy wanda

comfort characters

happy pride

make it make sense

b♡♡bs

just like other girls

the two people that made me realize I was indeed not straight

(maybe) unpopular opinions on thor: love and thunder

writer problems

tumblr design change

tumblr hates me

the eddie munson effect

jonathan byers in s3

love me a dilf

ed sheeran on tour

german bi panic

don’t worry darling

epic

violent night

couples of dreamworks>>

train em young

john wig

I’m back!

lorde >>

(anti) depressants

öbb

scream vi

ethan landry is bae

e.l. 🤝 l.d.r

plans - iq

new show, new father figure

buddie = destiel

office shenanigans

911 - 4.04

even more buddie

the big question - iq

flagged for violence

“just for fun”

tag list (?)

birthday

hs: lot

katy mixon

escape from reality

rwrb

maahp

cooliver fanfic?

cooliver fanfic.

lion king 2

charles leclerc

please send requests

making money - iq

christmas special fandom poll

mlp soundtrack

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eriquin · 10 months

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Tagged by @xirayn, with the following:

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love!

(lol self-love)

Okay, five favorite fics of mine:

Of Empires, Queens and Builders. Dragon Quest Builders 2. Pre-relationship Malroth/Female builder. This is a continuation of the game wherein the Isles merge into the world of Dragon Quest 2 some X-hundred years after the events of the game. The characters start exploring and make contact with another kingdom, and Malroth gets to enter a tournament. I liked writing it because I love world-building and it let me write cool action scenes. Someday, I'll write the next part.

War of the Broses, Supernatural, Destiel, HS AU. This was the first fic I finished and published on AO3. It's a prank war between high school seniors Dean and Cas. There are a bunch of footnotes that I did html jumps for, and lots of entertaining comedy and side characters. It was fun. I wrote it at work.

Is This a Kissing Fic?, Dragon Quest Builders 2, Malroth/Female Builder. Closest thing I get to PWP. It's just porn, it's to the point, and it's relatively short. 10k-ish. I don't write short fic so this feels like an accomplishment.

Crown of Thorns, Stranger Things, Steve/Eddie. WIP. Continuation of season 4. Eddie's dead... for now. Ensemble cast, because I love exploring the lives of these characters. Depressed Steve, Will gets powers, Eddie (despite being dead) gets powers, Druid!Eddie, Give Claudia Henderson a Gun, epic last battle (eventually). Will's powers are not what they appear at this time, but I'm not up to that point yet. It's pre-relationship Steddie, because Eddie's dead and that makes a relationship difficult.

The Prophetic D&D Game, Stranger Things, WIP. The Hellfire Club is about to start the Cult of Vecna. When one player can't make the first session, Eddie decides to try a different game that he came up with on a whim. He's already made characters for the players to use, and he's got an idea of where it's going. Some of his freshmen are a little weirded out about story. Evil mirror-dimensions, murderous psychic attacks, and characters inspired by people they know are just standard fare in his games. They'll get used to it. I like writing this one because, so far, it's a one-room kind of game and it's all an exercise in character interactions.

Trying to decide between tagging and sending asks, and settling on tagging: @2btheanswertothequestion, @inairbinad, @i-less-than-three-you, @loveinhawkins, @riality-check

#my writing #stranger things #dqb2 #spn #destiel #steddie #ask games

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plotbunniesattack · 12 days

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My Destiel Brain Rot

A03 / TUMBLR PUBLISHED WIP

Love & Stage Crew 25/33 Chapters Completed Since 8/16/19 - HS Friends to Lovers AU, Endverse!Castiel / Stagehand!Dean

SPN X Stand By Me 6/10 Chapters Completed Since 6/18/21 - Film/ Book Adaptation, Kid Fic, Eventual Destiel

Dad's on a Hunting Trip and He Hasn't Been Home in a Few Days… 5/22 Chapters Completed Since Since 9/3/22 - Part 1 of The Road Too Far Series, Season 1 CODA.

Lazurus Rising Rebooted (Part 1-3 ) - Post Hell AU, Openly Bi Dean/ Castiel, Season 4-5 Canon Divergent

Not Okay - Film/ Comic Adaptation / Season 6 Canon Divergence, HS

UNPUBLISHED WIP

Dean’s Ultimate Traxx 2000 - HS Friends to Lovers AU, Alcoholic!Dean / Cas

These Days - HS Friends to Lovers AU, Disordered Eating!Cas / Football Player Dean

Heavy (From the Hurt)/ Comfortably Numb - HS Modern, Friends to Lovers AU, Depressed!Cas / Teen Dean

Part Two of Portrait / Untitled - Modern, Friends to Lovers AU Endverse!Cas/ Recovery Dean

IN DEVELOPMENT WIP (Outlines Only)

Another Word For Failure - Adaptation, Teacher AU, Alcoholic!Dean

Part Two of Starlight / Untitled - Established Relationship, Endverse!Cas, Dadstiel

SPN X Little Monsters - Film Adaptation, Kid Fic, Creature Fic AU - Modern with Magic

Some One Else’s Atrocias Story - Post Canon Fix it Fic

Heartlines- Post Canon Fix it Fic

SUPTOBER 2023 (Outlines I Still Think About)

FULL SPREAD/ Gap Year - Pre S6 Fix it Fic (Set Oct 2010)

BLACK CAT - Kid Fic, Creature Fic AU - Modern with Magic

SATANIC PANIC - S7 Case Fic/ Bridgewater Podcast Crossover, Jeremy Bradshaw & Dean

EPIC - Film Adaptation, Epileptic!Cas/ Grieving Dean

FLIRT - Pre-Canon Season 2, Castiel Backstory, Canon Compliant

FEVER - Canon Divergent S10, Soulmate AU, Demon!Dean/ Castiel

PLANNING/ PLOT BUNNIES (Notes Only)

Love + Summer Stock - Sequel to Love + Stage Crew

Closer to Free - Adaptation, Modern, Friends to Lovers AU

Impractically Winchester - Adaptation, Modern, Enemies to Lovers, Soulmate AU

Untitled Post Canon Claire Novak - Fixit Fic, Canon Compliant, Hunter!Claire

MOC as Mental Illness - MOC!Dean Season 9-10 rewrite, Depressed!Dean Season 7-9 rewrite

SPN GENERATIONS - Fix It Fic, Hunter!Ben Braedon, Soulmate Dean/ Castiel

Part Two of LIMINAL / What Comes After - Fix It Fic, Season One Retold AU

#supernatural fanfiction #I may not post regularly but...#works in progress #writer brain #destiel brainrot #destiel #I also have a day job thats unrelated to writing #suptober23

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not100bees · 1 year

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tumblr users when someone dares to want to read or watch something about actual gay people: cringe! how frivolous and stupid! read real literature and watch real films not your stupid ya ownvoices garbage! you just want a 100K+ destiel hs a/b/o soulmate au lol

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misha-moose-dean-burger-lover · 3 years

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deancas highschool au, 1.8k.

dean's pretty sure it all comes down to being sam's fault.

kid had walked into their last scooby doo marathon without warning at eleven friggin' pm, startling both cas and him (because they watch scooby doo like it's meant to be watched — with all their concentration, goddammit) and consequently causing dean to knock over the bowl of popcorn and get its contents all over (and some inside) the couch.

fast forward from there to the next time dean asked mary if cas could sleep over, and her immediate condition being that they conduct the grand bingewatch (a necessary element of the dean-cas sleepovers) in dean's room instead of the living room, as she could not possibly handle finding more popcorn under the cushions of the damn sofa than she'd already been fishing for, the last two weeks.

so there.

it is absolutely and indisputably sam's fault that dean is right now half-propped up in bed next to his best friend, with a laptop on his lap and fellowship of the ring playing on it, unable to think about anything except the way their arms press against each other, knees brush, and cas's head ends up looming too close to dean's shoulder to not be resting on it.

oh, and how good cas looks in the almost-dark, lit by whatever's happening — dean knows exactly what's happening — on the screen.

just because.

it's past two — which translates to way too late for a gay awakening o'clock — but dean's pretty sure if his heart keeps beating at this rate till morning, he's going to wake up in an ambulance.

this has never happened before. being this conscious of wherever they're touching, this excited about it, or this intent on stealing glances when he's sure he won't be caught. (okay, maybe that one's happened before but it's beside the point.) put together, it is alien and disconcerting.

and dean's not an idiot. he knows — he thinks he knows what's happening. and he knows it's not supposed to feel like a switch flipping because these things — and that's about all of the clarity he can afford — happen over time. and yet it's like he's walked headfirst into a wall on this weird, weird night.

the only thing he knows for sure is that he's never felt this way before. not towards cas, not towards anyone.

well, there's also never been an anyone (else).

but screw semantics — dean's terrified.

and it's entirely sam's fault, obviously, which is why the next time dean sees the little bastard, he's going to —

"dean."

it's cas, interrupting his very subtle, manageable breakdown in his endearingly familiar why-aren't-you-already-paying-attention-to-me voice.

dean hits pause, pressing the spacebar and turning to face his cas-shaped dilemma in the eye. "what, you sleepy already?"

"of course not." cas's tone is haughty, like one of somebody who hasn't been the first one asleep in a single sleepover in the past. dean takes the blow with grace, because he friggin' deserves that. he's been ashamed of himself every, single, morning-after. "i was just wondering if the movie," cas tilts his head towards the screen. "isn't disturbing your parents or your brother. i don't think we've ever watched anything past midnight in your room before."

trust me, dean's brain supplies, i know.

but cas does have a point. there's plenty of loud noises in lotr, and the walls aren't particularly thick. and the last thing he wants right now is for dad to come see why they're not asleep yet, and find them friggin' huddled together on a single.

not that dean minds it.

"well," dean frowns. "what do you suggest? it is sorta late to switch to sleepover games, by the way, if you were planning on saying 'never have i ever'."

"we could use your earphones." cas says, like it's the most obvious thing. "and neither of us ever win in 'never have i ever', dean. or lose, actually. we know each each other too well. why would i suggest that?"

but dean's already stuck on a previous part of cas's sentence. "m-my earphones?"

cas blinks at him. "yes?"

dean swallows.

"unless you want to play 'never have i ever'?"

dean swats at cas for that, which the latter tries to dodge by pushing dean with both hands, until dean's wriggling and swearing at him to stop trying to put him through the wall because either they really are cosied up in that little space, or being in the middle of a really important realization makes you go soft on your opponent.

when cas finally lets dean go with a self-satisfied grin, dean only falters for a moment before planting the laptop on cas indelicately and knee-waddling to the end of the bed to get to his desk.

he finds his extremely well-used black earphones soon enough and returns to his spot, where cas shifts hardly an inch to give him his due space, resulting in dean well and truly sandwiched between the wall and cas, because his best friend is a jackass like that. and of course, the only reasons dean leans further towards cas with practised annoyance etched on his face is because it's the kind of annoying he's supposed to be, and it's october and the wall is cold.

cas, on the other hand, is really not.

"what are you waiting for?" cas grumbles, eyes squinty at dean in the dark, and dean makes a face at him, plugging it in (without needing to look, not that he'd've been able to see a thing in the dark anyways), and offering cas the left earplug.

which cas promptly puts in his left ear — the one that's farther away — because he's cas, and things like which earplug is meant for which ear, matter to him.

dean friggin' loves him.

and it's some time after dean's put the right one in his left ear — because he's not cas is why, and their heads are close enough already — and they've hit play and settled into the comfortable silence of watching a movie they've both seen at least five times in the past and dean's actually begun to pay attention, that he absolutely freezes in his metaphorical tracks, the entire world stuttering to a halt as he tries to register that last thought.

he loves cas.

he said it to himself. he said he loved him.

and that's just goddamn it.

he loves cas.

dean's eyes flit to cas, who's watching the movie without having any life-altering revelations, stuffing his mouth full of popcorn every five minutes (a habit dean can proudly claim to have been responsible for fostering in the first place), not smiling but with a corner of his lip pulled up like he ends up unconsciously doing whenever he's really paying attention, his profile only half-lit with colors, and his closeness suddenly so incredibly flustering.

yeah, well. you've known it for a while, the voice in dean's head that's not exactly his, returns. haven't you?

and maybe he has.

or maybe he hasn't, and it really does feel like a switch flipping for some people. people like him who're zoning out watching lord of the rings one moment, and smitten with their best friends the second.

it doesn't really matter either way, does it?

it's 2:37 am when dean turns his head to the movie again.

inarguably far too late for anything to matter to dean other the fact that he knows. the fact that he knows that he's in love with cas. and the fact that he is.

(maybe he can think of ways to ask him out tomorrow.

or next week.

or maybe he'll chicken out a thousand times until he finally ends up stuttering his way through a severely practised-in-the-mirror confession eight months later, and cas will smile that smile he reserves for dean, and say he can't make it friday because of astronomy club, and dean'll blush even harder because he knew that, he knows that dammit, and then cas will suggest thursday instead, and thursday will be too soon and way too terrifying and just perfect. and then they'll live happily ever after.)

but dean's got all the time in the world to sort out — read: lose his shit over — the maybe's.

right now? being in love with cas is enough.

and being here, watching the last sixteen minutes of one of their mutually favorite movies in bed with his best friend and love of his life, is perfect.

dean does end up falling asleep first, yet again, cause turns out achieving self-awareness and spontaneous living-in-the-moment prowess don't do shit to help with being less of an embarrassment.

but this time, he gets to wake up with an arm slotted around his waist, and a warm castiel curled up close behind him, still fast asleep and breathing in light puffs down dean's tshirt, so maybe, just maybe, he doesn't have to chalk this one up as a loss after all.

doesn't mean cas still won't be a smugfaced little shit about it though.

but then, that's probably one of the things dean winchester loves about him anyway.

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im-some-lionheart · 2 years

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So Much for Summer Love

Read on AO3: here

Excerpt:

Dean exhales loudly through his nose, looking up at the night sky that seems to fascinate Cas so much.

“So. Two months and you’re gone?”

“Yeah… Sorry I can’t offer you more than that.”

“Nah, it’s okay, man. It’s actually like… meant to be or something. I'm also leaving town after the summer, anyway, ya know?”

A cricket (or a grasshopper, or something) chirps away in the lukewarm night, and a thin layer of sweat starts to form on Dean’s skin.

“I guess we can't make any promises, now, can we?"

"Guess not…”

“But…” Castiel starts and Dean drags his eyes down to look back at him, “I can make you another drink?" he offers, shaking his own empty glass.

"Sure. Why not."

Summary:

After a perfect summer together and thinking they'll never see each other again, Dean and Cas run into each other at school.

The only problem?

Cas (25) is a teacher and Dean (20), a student. Oh, and Cas' dad is the school principal. What could possibly go wrong.

And can they make it right?

Spotify Playlist: https://tinyurl.com/somuchforsummerlove

Tags: Sumer Love, Private School, Secret Relationship, Teacher-Student Relationship, Teacher Castiel, Student Dean, BUT THEY'RE BOTH CONSENTING ADULTS OK???, Based on Taylor Swift Songs, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Falling In Love, Breaking Up & Making Up, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Gay Castiel, Military Veteran Castiel

READ ON AO3

#destiel #deancas #Destiel fic #I did a thing #Fic: so much for Summer Love #smfsl #Destiel fic rec #Destiel fanfic #Destiel fanfiction #Destiel au #Destiel high school au #Destiel hs au #Student Dean #Teacher Castiel #Dean x Castiel

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makeadealwithdean · 2 years

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kiss me (till my lips bleed) - high school au

Pairing: Destiel (Dean Winchester x Castiel)

Word Count: 2128

Summary: Dean and Cas get paired up on a group project together and become best friends, until they might be something more.

Warnings/Tags: FLUFF, so much fluff, tiny bit of angst i guess (Dean’s a worrier), internalized homophobia (Dean’s POV, blame it on John), not smut (just some high-school-age hormones running wild), mostly just cuteness <3

Beta’d by: @downanddirtydean and my sweet boyfriend who reads everything i write <3

Divider by: @firefly-graphics

It wasn’t Dean’s fault his school decided he needed to add this class his last year of high school in order to graduate. How was he supposed to know they’d added such-and-such class to the grad. requirements? I mean, does he look like the kind of person who pays attention to that kinda thing? Please, he’s here for the diploma, then he’s gone. Education and honors be damned.

It wasn’t his fault that his teacher Ms. Stafford wouldn’t let them pick their own groups for their first stupid class project. Like c’mon, middle school was years ago. They could handle choosing their own partners. Whatever, Dean was beyond bitching about it, just a few more months and he’d be outta here anyway.

It definitely wasn’t his fault that she put him with this dark-haired kid that he swore he’d never seen before in his life. I mean, it wasn’t like he was complaining, cause he’d gotten a new best friend out of it. No matter how much his other best friend, Lee, gives them looks whenever the three of them hang out together.

Like, c’mon, a guy can easily have more than one best friend, geez. And Cas, well, Castiel was different than Lee. Hanging out with Cas felt different than hanging out with Lee. Who knows why? Dean guessed Lee was just jealous since it had been the two of them for a while. You didn’t find many dudes out there who just didn’t give a shit about high school football, but they didn’t. They both figured, “hey, what was the point? Where is football gonna come into the grand scheme of life?” Hence, the forming of their own little group.

It’s not his fault he hasn’t had time for dates with any of the cute girls at his school since that first group project; school has just kept him really busy, okay? Well, yeah, he’s been hanging out with Cas a lot, too, but sometimes a guy just needs time with the boys. Bro time you know?

Like the first time he’d shown Cas his Baby. They’d walked out to the parking lot together, and upon seeing the slick black Impala, Cas had said, “She’s beautiful, Dean.” and just for a second, Dean wanted to kiss him. No, not like that (shut up, Sam). He was just thrilled to meet someone who admired his Baby as much as he did, that’s all.

Dean had started her up, so Cas could hear her purr, and they wound up driving around for an hour. Nowhere in particular, just around, and Dean had never felt so happy. See? Hanging with the boys is good for the soul. Driving around, listening to 70s rock music with one of the boys? Even better.

And like today as well. Cas had come over to Dean’s house after school to hang out and watch TV or whatever. Usually, they watched on the big TV in the living room, but today, Sam had some homework or something stupid that required him to use the TV with the DVD player. Dean had just sighed and gestured for Cas to follow him up to his room. He didn’t know why his mind was racing thinking of Cas sitting on his bed, he must be nervous about something else. After all, Lee had been in Dean’s room countless times. No biggie.

No biggie. How could Dean have brushed off Cas in his room as “no biggie”? His downstairs brain definitely didn’t think it was no big deal. But why was he reacting this way? Cas was one of the boys. Everyone knows “being gay for the homies” doesn’t actually mean being gay for the homies. Dean shifted slightly on the bed, trying not to alert Cas, who was leaning against the pillows next to him, to his little predicament. Cas’s attention was now focused on the TV sitting on top of the dresser against the wall at the end of the bed, but Dean knew if Cas happened to look over and down, he’d catch him dead to rights.

Dean turned his focus back to the TV, tried to concentrate on the words being said, tried to convince himself that the conversation being held on whatever show they were watching was more important than the foreign things he was feeling in his body and thinking in his mind. He was just nervous because Cas hadn’t been in his room before, right? That had to be it, right? It definitely wasn’t the way Cas sat, relaxed for once, propped up by Dean’s pillows, instead of straight, rigid, as if he was constantly on guard, like he normally was. It definitely wasn’t Cas’s messier-than-normal, pillow-tousled hair. It wasn’t that Dean was staring, dying to run his fingers through it. It just looked so fluffy and soft, like how Dean imagined his hair would look after se--

Woah. Dean shook his head slightly, as if trying to rid his mind of those kinds of thoughts about his best friend. He thought he’d moved subtly, but Cas looked over at his movement anyway.

Brow furrowed slightly (god, he’s so cute), Cas brushed Dean’s arm slightly with the tips of his fingers, “Dean? Are you alright? Is something bothering you?” The fingertips barely resting on Dean’s arm became heavier as Cas hesitantly pressed his hand into the crook of Dean's elbow. His forehead crinkled, and his eyes squinted as if that would help him read Dean’s thoughts. Turning his body towards Dean slightly, as though trying to encourage him to speak without entirely overwhelming him, Cas placed his other hand on Dean’s leg, right above his knee and pulled slightly back towards himself, silently begging Dean to turn and face him.

Dean sighed, brushing off Cas’s concern initially. Getting touchy-feely with Cas wasn’t something he was extremely eager to do (promise), but he sure as hell didn’t want to upset the guy either. Luckily, the tightness he’d felt in his jeans had eased up a little, so at least he could pray that Cas didn’t notice when he turned to face him.

Dean sighed as he shifted from leaning against the pillow to sitting up, legs bent with his elbows pressed to his knees, arms hanging down between his thighs. Cas faced him sitting tailor style. “Dean, please. Tell me what you’re thinking about. I can tell it’s bothering you. Let me help. You’re not acting like yourself.”

Shit. So much for trying to act normal. Dean let his head drop onto his hands, letting just his eyes wander to Cas’s face. He gritted his teeth. Was he really about to do this, say this? Was he sure he wanted to go ahead and bite the bullet? But then, his eyes met Cas’s strikingly blue, achingly soft ones, and he felt his reserve melt away. But isn’t that how it’d always been? If he was truly honest with himself, one look from Cas was all it took for his walls to come crashing down. Not gradually or slowly, but all at once, like a wrecking ball had been taken to it, swung on the chain of Cas’s voice. Oh god, his voice. Deep and rasping, but gentle and smooth too, like the rapids of a swiftly flowing stream.

“Dean, I–”

That’s what broke him. To hear his name said again by that voice was too much for Dean to handle; all the “what if’s,” “I can’t’s,” and “that’s not me’s” clouding Dean’s mind washed away in a surge of affection for the boy sitting in front of him. He felt his body surge forward like a tidal wave of uncontrollable emotion. His thumbs found Cas’s baby-soft cheeks, the rest of his fingers nestled in the tufts behind Cas’s eyes, and he pulled, gently enough so that Cas could easily bat his hands away if he wanted to. But he didn’t, and suddenly, suddenly, Dean’s lips were on Cas’s, Cas’s lips were on his, and they were kissing like Dean had never experienced before.

Never in all of Dean’s kissing experience, which was fairly extensive if he’s honest, had a kiss felt this right. This kiss felt real, something Dean questioned if he even was, because right now, it felt like he was flying. His hands moved back on their own, and his fingers carded through Cas’s hair, intertwining and twisting just slightly. Cas tipped his head back as Dean’s teeth tugged on his lower lip, releasing a breathy sigh into the quiet room that Dean instantly made it his mission to hear again.

Maybe kissing a boy wasn’t as different from kissing a girl as Dean had imagined– not that he’d imagined it that much, alright? But Cas’s lips were maybe a little rougher than those of the head cheerleader that Dean had kissed a while back in the school parking lot, not that he saw that as a bad thing though. If he was entirely honest, Cas’s kiss felt more genuine than any kiss he’d ever had, and if it wasn’t for lack of air, he’d be okay with it never ending.

When Dean finally did let his hands fall from Cas’s hair to his shoulders and trail gently down his arms, he realized what he’d just done. Shit, what was he thinking? Dean’s hands moved back to his own legs just as quickly as his mind began to race. Cas was his best friend and straight, he presumed, so… had he just completely fucked everything up? Had he just forced Cas into kissing him against his will? Sure, he’d hesitated before pulling him in, and sure, Cas had kissed him back. Sure, it had been the best kiss of his life, but what if Cas didn’t feel the same way? What if he’d only kissed him back to spare Dean’s feelings? Fuck, he couldn’t even look at him right now. How could he have done that to the person he cared most about, outside of his family, of course–

“Dean.” Cas’s voice rumbled through his ears, shattering his runaway train of thought and jolting him back to the present.

“Dean,” Cas repeated, seemingly insistent that Dean look at him, which was frankly the last thing Dean wanted to do at that moment. Still, it was Cas, and as much as Dean didn’t want to admit it, he’d do pretty much anything Cas asked of him. So he swallowed, hoping to get rid of the lump in his throat and decided to bite the bullet.

Cas was already looking at him when he lifted his head. Cas’s eyes shone with– something, compassion maybe? God, please don’t let those be tears. Dean’s cheeks burned red, even hotter than before, and he felt panic rising in his chest, tears welling up in his eyes.

“Shit, Cas, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean– I just– Shit, I just like you a lot, okay, Cas? And I’m sorry, cause you don’t like me like that, and now I’ve taken advantage of you, and fucked up our friendship. I break everything I touch, so I’m sorry I touched you, and–”

Before he could even finish his sentence, Cas’s hand shot out, grabbed Dean’s shirt collar, and yanked him into another kiss, this one sloppy and full of emotion, effectively cutting off Dean’s panicked rambling. This time, when they both pulled back, Dean’s heart was still racing, but not from panic. He was still breathless, but without all the fear. Cas had kissed him. Not just kissed him back, but initiated a kiss. He’d wanted this. Suddenly, Dean could breathe again; his chest no longer felt like it was caving in on itself. He was still confused, but this he could handle. Cas wasn’t revolted or angry with Dean for his impulsivity; maybe– just maybe Cas liked him too.Cas touched his hand, eyes still shining, “Dean, I like you a lot too. More than you know. It’s okay, you didn’t take advantage of me or mess anything up. I don’t want you to think like that.”

Dean suddenly found it very difficult to speak. “How long?” he managed to get out.“Ever since that partner project,” Cas smiled softly. “I just didn’t know you were into– well, guys.”

“I didn’t either,” Dean shrugged, blushing slightly, “Or at least not ‘till now. And I’m not sure what I’m going to tell my dad. Or if I’m even ready to tell him, or anyone else. But I like you, I know that for a fact. You’re the one thing I’m sure of.”

Cas smiled for real at that, and somehow, at least for that moment, Dean’s fears about his family, or the people at school, all melted away. And Dean melted into Cas, like snow into a mountain stream.

a/n: if you’ve made it this far, THANK YOU!!! remember, feedback is golden, and i really am not motivated to write unless i hear from you all, so leave me something below if you’d like <3

a/n 2.0: this is the first thing i’ve ever written for destiel, so i’ll be tagging my Forevers, SPN list, and Dean list, but i do know not everyone likes destiel (which is okay!!) so after this, i’ll be making a destiel taglist, so message me, send me an ask, or comment or reblog if you’d like to be on that. thank you!!

Tags:

Forevers: @downanddirtydean @deanwanddamons @katelyn--renee @zooaliaa @jensengirl83 @superfanficnatural @deangirl93 @that-one-gay-girl @wonder-cole @flamencodiva

SPN: @meeshw777

Dean Winchester: @akshi8278 @lyarr24 @spnfangirl1314

#destiel #destiel fanfiction #deancas #dean winchester x castiel #dean x cas #destiel hs au #spn fics #spn fanfiction #spn

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