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#thirteen reasons why imagine
yourmomxx · 2 years
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M A S T E R L I S T
* ·    . .  ★    ✧  .. ˚   * · . .  ★·   ✧  .
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Outerbanks. ⊹ °. * ✧ . ✦  . • ✺ ° ★ . ° .    ⋒
the birthmark on his cheek - jj maybank x male!reader
jj maybank relationship headcanons - jj maybank x male!reader
jj maybank relationship headcanons - jj maybank x female!reader
the art of making a house a home - jj maybank x male!reader
prom date - jj maybank x male!reader
glory and gore - jj maybank x male!reader
girl crush - jj maybank x male!reader | requested
so much for the larger couch - coming soon | jj maybank x male!reader
heal my shattered heart (tear it all apart) - coming soon | rafe cameron x reader
American Housewife. ⊹ °. * ✧ . ✦. ✺ ° ★ . ° .  
snow on the beach (weird but fucking beautiful) - masterlist
Criminal Minds. ⊹ °. * ✧ . ✦  . • ✺ ° ★ .
hotch x plus size reader - requested
derek morgan taking care of you (smothering you) when you’re hurt) - requested
emily prentiss x wife!reader - requested
domestic evenings with aaron hotchner / spencer reid - nurse!reader | requested
accidentally revealing your secret relationship - aaron hotchner x reader | requested
Teen Wolf. ⊹ °. * ✧ . ✦  . • ✺ ° ★ . ° .    ⋒
stiles stilinski falling in love with a chimera headcanon - stiles stilinski x male!reader
Celebrities. ⊹ °. * ✧ . ✦  . • ✺ ° ★ . ° .    ⋒
madelyn cline social media au part 2 - fem!reader
lando norris social media au - fem!singer!reader
madelyn cline x fem!reader - requested
Random Shitposts. ⊹ °. * ✧ . ✦  . • ✺ °
cat
mommy wanda
comfort characters
happy pride
make it make sense
b♡♡bs
just like other girls
the two people that made me realize I was indeed not straight
(maybe) unpopular opinions on thor: love and thunder
writer problems
tumblr design change
tumblr hates me
the eddie munson effect
jonathan byers in s3
love me a dilf
ed sheeran on tour
german bi panic
don’t worry darling
epic
violent night
couples of dreamworks>>
train em young
john wig
I’m back!
lorde >>
(anti) depressants
öbb
scream vi
ethan landry is bae
e.l. 🤝 l.d.r
plans - iq
new show, new father figure
buddie = destiel
office shenanigans
911 - 4.04
even more buddie
the big question - iq
flagged for violence
“just for fun”
tag list (?)
birthday
hs: lot
katy mixon
escape from reality
rwrb
maahp
cooliver fanfic?
cooliver fanfic.
lion king 2
charles leclerc
please send requests
making money - iq
christmas special fandom poll
mlp soundtrack
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cnl0400 · 2 days
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Do people see Thirteen in the "younger" bracket or the "Older" one? I like to think that she's around the same age as Mammon/Levi, and her sister (Candy) around the same age as Lucifer
For what she has described in S4, I like to think her relationship with her sister Is similar to Lucifer-Mammon, but Thirteen Is much more selfish and Candy much more distant. I'm so curious about what Thirteen did to her that they don't talk anymore...
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bnnyskirt · 4 months
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this blog is used as my writing mind as i have so many ideas but can never write them down, so why not write them here ?? 🤷‍♀️ enjoy.
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silence-lamb · 5 months
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𝗗𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗪𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗚𝗵𝗼𝘀𝘁 (13 ʀᴇᴀꜱᴏɴꜱ ᴡʜʏ ɪᴍᴀɢɪɴᴇ)
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(TW : Oc Character Death)
The field was dark as the night continued. Kassidy went back after she got a text from Monty. She was past angry with him. She didn’t have much of the event that happened to Tyler but she knew it was caused by him, everything happened because of him. Walking up to the field so did he,” are you fucking insane,Kassidy!?” He shouted. Feeling her hand tighten into a fist as they stood nearly in the middle of the place she hated the most,” What the hell did you do to Tyler!” She raised her voice back at him as his smirk came across his face as usual. The thing he hated about him so much. She couldn’t stand seeing him that way,” I dealt with him the same way I did your fucking ass,” He said. As soon as he spoke, Kassidy tried to push him before he turned her onto her back while her body slammed on the ground. The rage he had darkened his eyes. It was fueled by her, as well as her boyfriend Tyler. He pinned her down pushing his knees against hers,” You want to fuck with me Kas!” He asked bringing his hands as they squeezed around her throat tightening against her skin. Kassidy’s eyes widened from his grip trying to grab his wrists. Their eyes staying on each others. He couldn’t hold it anymore. Tyler made the baseball season stop because of the allegations. Ever since the two met it was nonstop. He always made sure she knew who was stronger, her place in this. He felt Kassidy try to move underneath him as she struggled, attempting to turn herself or pull out of his grip but nothing worked. His grip continued to tighten before Kassidy tried to breathe one more time. It went silent. Monty looked down at her. He took a moment,” Kas? Kassidy,” He said glancing around before he slapped her cheek gently,” Kassidy,” He tried again, he watched her head fall to the side. Trying to grasp onto the reality he just caused for himself. Monty’s eyes shifted onto the field making sure nobody saw him before he ran off, starting to breathe heavily. Monty ran away from the field shocked.
“ What’s going on? The look in your eyes tells me there’s something wrong .. stay with me, help is on the way just try to breathe “
Clay slowly stepped onto the field feeling the grass underneath him as the ambulance lights shined on the field. His eyes fell onto the group before his eyes sat on Kassidy seeing her laying on the ground causing them to widen as he instantly started to run towards her. His heart pounded in his chest. Mr.Standall placing his hand infront of Clay,” I’m sorry son, you can’t be here,” He said,” Kassidy!” Clay shouted his voice raising more each time, he felt his heart shatter. He turned running past him as he tried to make his way over to her before he got tackled by another man,” KASSIDY!” He yelled reaching his arm out to try to grab her if he could. Mr. Standall got down infront of Clay as Kassidy’s body was taken into the back of the truck,” I’m sorry .. she’s gone,” his words made him squint his eyes shut. He tried to save her. The whole night, he wanted to make sure she was okay. She was gone. Tears fell down Clay’s cheeks causing them to turn pink nearly red. The pain he felt was unbearable.
“ What’s going on? I can hear the crowd saying oh my god, please just move. Can anyone hear me let me through. I can see your face calling your name reaching out I can’t feel anything. Even after everything I am always yours “
Tony’s phone rang in his pocket for a second as he pulled it out. Tyler looked over at him rubbing his arm slightly from the uncomfortable feeling that was brought on. Tony’s face dropped,” What’s wrong?” Tyler asked becoming concerned,” Nothing .. everything’s fine,” Tony said, Tyler stood. He could tell something wasn’t right,” Is Kassidy okay?” He said taking a step forward towards him. Tony’s eyes exposed his emotions,” She’s dead .. they don’t know what happened,” He said. Tyler felt frozen where he stood. All the pain intensified throughout hips body. For one moment, he let somebody take care of Kassidy instead of him. Now she’s hurt, she can’t come back. Maybe they would be okay or somewhere in between but no, that wasn’t going to happen now with her beside him.Tyler grabbed his camera throwing it against the wall, the glass shattering the lenses from the contact,” you said she would be okay! Why the fuck did you let her go with him!?” Tyler screamed at him. Tony took a step back to let him breathe watching him throw anything he could find,” Tyler honey? What’s wrong?” The door slowly opening as Tyler’s mother stepped inside. Tyler fell down infront of his bed as he didn’t even attempt to hold his tears back. Concerned she walked over to him. Tyler lost everything, the girl he loved the minute he let her go.
“ I’ve been dancing with your ghost. Some say we may have stole the show .. all the memories are haunting me I refuse to let you go. I’ve been dancing with your ghost ..”
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13-reasons-ideas · 11 months
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Can’t Go Back Part 24
A/N: Guess who’s back! Thank you for sticking with me. It’s been a rough several months and I think things are finally getting to a point where I can focus on my hobbies again. As always, feedback is appreciated and Character Q&As are open. Much Love -Em
I had finished the last book on my To Read shelf by mid-May. Hopping off my bed, I went over to my bookshelf. There was only one shelf of space left. The stack to shelve had gotten a tad out of hand. Sighing to myself, I sat down to start reorganizing. I pulled the books from H to Z down to fit the new additions to my collection in. My dad poked his head in when the stack fell over.
“Everything okay in here?” I was surrounded by books. Dad tried not to laugh as he took the scene in. Grabbing books, I turned back to the shelf.
“Perfect. Totally meant to sit in a sea of books this afternoon.”
“Sure. You have fun with that. I have to head into the office for a while. Tell your mother I probably won’t be home for dinner.”
“Will do.” I nodded, not turning my attention back to him.
Monty texted me shortly after I had finished the M’s. What are you up to today?
Organizing my bookshelf. I finished my TBR so now they go in the permanent collection.
Only my girlfriend would make a permanent book collection and a separate section for books that aren’t done.
Hey! Lots of people do this.
Yes honey.
What are you up to today?
Trying to study for my last History test. It’s very boring.
I’m sure it is. If you’re free Saturday, how about a get out of studying free card?
Oh? What did you have in mind Doll? I rolled my eyes and grinned. Of course he thought I meant something dirty.
Cool your jets Monty. I was going to see if you wanted to go to the bookstore with me?
I can make that happen. What time?
I think Clay and I are getting lunch to go over our study guide for the Math final. I could do like 1?
Sounds good. Do you want me to meet you at the bookstore?
Sure. I go to the B&N at the Everglade.
It’s a date.
I smiled and went back to my books.
When it was done, I snapped a picture and sent it to Justin. I finished my TBR! You know what that means?
Oh no. More books?
More books!
Do I have to come with you?
No. The parents gave me a limit of 10 books this time.
Only 10?
I have points saved up. And 10 is a perfectly reasonable amount of new books.
For you? Yes. For normal people? No.
Oh shhh, or I’ll make you come with me.
Okay, okay. It’s reasonable lol. I texted Monty a picture of my bookshelf too. He responded with a laughing emoji.
Teachers were beginning to wrap up final units and hand out study guides for finals. Justin was still mad about summer school so he kept up his not giving a shit attitude. I rolled my eyes whenever he sighed or complained about finals. And I stopped offering to help him. If he wanted to do more work in summer school, that was fine by me. It gave me more time to spend with Monty.
On Saturday, I met Clay at Rosie’s and we both got milkshakes. I wasn’t very hungry, and I didn’t want burger breath later. “So Clay, how’s Hannah doing?”
“I don’t know. We have hung out a few times, and I see her at work, but I don’t think we have hung out hung out.”
“You still haven’t asked her out?”
“I mean, we went to Jeff’s place not together, but we were both there, and I feel like maybe we connected?”
“Connected?”
“Well, we were doing… stuff… and we talked.” My eyes widened.
“Clay Jensen did you do drugs in Jeff’s basement?”
“Maybe?” I was stunned.
“Well, I’ll be damned. Clay Jensen, having fun. I never thought I’d see the day.”
“Ha ha.” He joked.
“I’m kidding! But seriously. Take the risk Clay.”
“I’ll think about it. Can we look at this study guide now?” I sighed and pulled it out of my bag. We both shuddered. This is not going to be a pretty exam.
By the time Clay and I called it an afternoon, it was 12:30. That gave me just enough time to get to the city. We packed our notes and headed outside. “Man, I really need a car.” Clay sighed, unlocking his bike.
“Your parents said no?”
“I have a bike.” He waved towards the bike.
“That you do. I would offer you a ride, but I’m headed into the city for the afternoon.”
“No worries, Addy.” He smiled. We waved goodbye and I watched as he biked down the street. I started my car and texted Monty. Leaving Rosie’s now. Might be a little late. Drive safe.
Sounds good, drive safe Doll.
I stopped at Starbucks when I got to the mall and got an iced coffee to sip while I browse and a coffee for Montgomery. He was waiting outside Barnes & Noble for me. “Hey handsome. Fancy seeing you here.” I winked as I walked up to him.
“Hey gorgeous. What can I say, thought it would be a good way to find a girl. You know what they say about the readers.”
“I have a feeling I do.” I laughed and handed him his coffee. “Something to do with being high strung, overachievers with daddy issues?”
“Somethin’ like that.” Monty took my hand and let me lead him into the bookstore. I decided I would keep my ten-book limit to myself. I knew how many points I had, and I still had birthday money left from last year.
He chuckled as I practically dragged him towards the YA section. I didn’t stop to look at the romance displays or the cookbooks or the journals. I was on a mission. There were books to buy. I sipped my coffee as I browsed. As usual, I made my way up and down the aisles quickly once to see if anything immediately caught my eye. A couple of books did, so I grabbed them to look over after I was done my power walk. “I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you move that fast.”
“Ass.” I laughed as I read over the synopsizes of the two books. Neither of them was my cup of tea in the end, so I decided to put them back. I could feel Montgomery watching me as I looked at the shelves. “What?” I asked as I pulled a book down and skimmed the back.
“Nothin’. You’re just cute is all.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. And those shorts are very nice.” I blushed and smiled softly.
“Thanks.” I handed him the book.
“Oh, I see. You needed someone to carry the books.”
“Well, who else would I have asked, when I have my strong, athletic boyfriend to follow me around the store?” He only laughed in response. I grabbed a few more books as I sipped at my coffee. Once in a while, I would notice him watching me and turn to smile at him.
There were six books in Monty’s hands before he finished his coffee. “I’m going to throw this out. Try to leave some books for the next person, okay Bookworm?”
“I’ll try. No promises though.” I mused. By the time he came back, I had three more books. I looked up when I heard him laugh. I grinned at him and held out the books. He took them, tucked them under his arm, and stepped towards me. My brow furrowed and he reached to tuck my hair behind my ear, trailing his hand down to cup the back of my neck, and pull me towards him to kiss me. I kissed him back softly. It was nice to be able to kiss in public. I liked our little bubble. It felt like we were the only two people in the world. He pulled away first.
We continued to peruse the store for a while and stole kisses and glances along the way. Monty slid his hand in my back pocket as we walked. I grabbed another couple of books and sighed. “What’s up?”
“I guess that’s enough books for a little while.”
“For a little while? Addison. There’s like,” he paused to count, “sixteen books here.”
“Yeah. And that isn’t even all of what is on my TBR still. And it’s buy one get one half off all books.” I shrugged.
“Jesus. Crazy woman.” He muttered softly and kissed the side of my head. I sighed and turned to head for the till. After discounts, points, and birthday money, my total was twenty-five dollars.
“Now to figure out how to sneak the extra six books into the house.” I muttered as we left.
“The extra what whats?”
“Uh… nothing.” I smiled sheepishly. He shook his head playfully. “Oh, hey. Pretzels. Split one?”
“Nice change of subject. Sure. Pretzel sounds good.” He rubbed my hand as he held it. This is nice.
In late June, just as finals week was hitting its peak, tragedy struck our little group of jocks. The boys were at Bryce’s trying to blow off some steam. I was trying to be nice to him and make an effort for Justin, so I tagged along. The way his family approached and flaunted their money always took me by surprise. I wasn’t oblivious. I knew my family had more money than most. More than I liked to consider or admit. But it was never flashed around the way it was with the Walkers. I came from old money on my dad’s side, like his mom. But unlike him, I wasn’t exposed to it on a daily basis. The concept of a twice a week maid was enough to widen my eyes. The only time my family had a maid come was when Gran was coming to stay with us, or we were hosting Christmas back when all my grandparents lived state-side, so a very deep clean was needed. The fact that they had a chef come in once a week to meal prep for them was… almost incomprehensible. The only time I met a chef was when I found a hair in my food when my family went out one night.
I had been to his house before of course. I was friends with Justin. We shared custody of him most weeks. Even still, I found myself hanging back and watching the boys socialize. Or I was trying to at least. Bryce thrusting a bottle of water in my hand startled me. I jumped slightly. “Thanks.” I muttered.
“Don’t mention it.” He chuckled. He settled himself next to me and leaned back against the counter.
“Hi.”
“Hi. You know that they will talk to you, right? They know you.”
“I know.”
“Okay. I’ll talk to you then.” Great. Just what I want.
“Sure Bryce.”
“How are finals treating you?”
“I cried before my honours English final yesterday.”
“I almost forgot about my math final.”
“So, we are basically in the same boat.”
“Basically. You had bio and history today?”
“Yeah.”
“How were they?”
“I think I did fairly okay. Can you imagine what my mum would do if I bombed the history final?” He stared off into space with me and shivered.
“I would say something nice about you at your funeral.”
“Thanks Walker. Killing me does seem like a lot of hassle for that though. Like it seems like it would just inconvenience them. Maybe locked in my room to study until I’m forty?”
“True. I would text you news updates. Keep you updated in all things Bryce and the boys.”
“Prefect. Make isolation at least a little bit bearable.” He was actually kind of nice sometimes. Maybe. If I squinted.
“Yeah. My dad would have freaked if I missed my math final.”
“How could you take over the family business if you fail tenth grade math Bryce?”
“No idea. Not like he doesn’t pay someone to do all that math for him. Speaking of, he wanted me to ask you if your dad is taking on any new clients now that tax season is winding down?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think he is, but I can get him to email your dad.” I don’t think he’s going to take your dad on.
“I’ll let him know.”
“Where are you off to this summer?”
“I think we are summering in Fiji?”
“Because California isn’t summer-y enough?”
“Mom thinks the sun feels different. More sunny. I tan better in tropical environments.”
“Sure, you do.”
“What are your family’s plans?”
“We have our annual family trip to Boston at the end of July into the first week of August. Dad pushed his vacation time this year.”
“Doesn’t he own the company?”
“Yeah. But his associate wanted to take vacation in mid-July. She’s taking her kids to Disney World.”
“Again, doesn’t he own the company?”
“Again, yes. Why?”
“Shouldn’t he get first pick?”
“Well, our vacation basically costs us airfare, food, and spending money. Hers and everyone else’s costs a lot more. And requires more planning. So, he lets them have first pick and takes whatever’s left for the most part. Because of that, people are more willing to pick fairly.”
“Interesting.”
“Are you two going to come outside or not?” Justin called from the back yard. Bryce and I looked up and found the house empty. All the boys had moved to the back. We shrugged and joined them. I needed to pass the sniff test so I didn’t dare go in the pool house. Anders and Dylan were in the pool house enjoying Bryce’s stash. It was already nearing eighty degrees in the daytime. We were in for a hot summer. Justin pulled off his shirt, dropped his pants, and jumped in the pool. Shaking my head, I followed Bryce outside.
I sat on the edge of the pool and dipped my feet in the water. Monty was trying to be discreet and swim backwards towards me. He stopped just shy of me and shared a look with Zach. I pretended not to notice. It looked like I was busy watching Justin goof off with Bryce and Garrison. I was watching my boyfriend out of the corner of my eye though. I felt a wave close to my foot. “Montgomery. If you touch my foot, I’m not responsible for what happens to your face.” His hand stopped and his eyes widened. Justin laughed and called from across the pool.
“She isn’t wrong dude. She kicked me in the face when I was trying to bug her one time.”
“I wasn’t going to….” Monty trailed off.
“Sure, you weren’t.” I shook my head and moved to stand up. I pulled my tank top over my head. The shorts I was wearing were fine to go in the water.
Seeing as we had to keep up appearances, I couldn’t very well ask Monty to tighten the tie on my bikini top. That would be too much. The boys would question that. Joking around and talking to each other in a group was okay. Touching was not. “Hey Justin, do you mind?” I gestured to my back, not looking at the pool.
“He’s a little busy.” Bryce said. I could hear splashing behind me.
“Zach?”
“Sure.” He climbed out of the pool and untied the bottom strings. He pulled them tighter in a knot and doubled the bow. “Good?”
“Yeah.” I turned around. “Thanks.” Bryce whistled. Gross.
“Why are you keeping her all to yourself again?” He asked Justin. I flipped him off. Why am I being nice to you again?
“I’m not. It’s Addison. Even if I was, I don’t share Bryce.” He seemed to shut the conversation down. Only I could pick up on the stern undertone in his voice. Just as quickly as it came, it was gone, and they were back to goofing off again.
I slipped in the pool and noticing Justin was distracted, I swam over to him and jumped on his back. I may have accidentally splashed Monty in my jumping. I snuck a peek at him and he was rolling his eyes and laughing. “Chicken?” Justin asked. His hands went to my thighs unconsciously.
“No. You dropped me last time. Though it would be entertaining trying to watch the rest of you lift each other.”
“We’re strong.” The boys around me protested. They all made a show of flexing.
“Yes, yes. You’re all strong and hot. With superior athletic abilities. Go you.” I laughed.
“Ha! I told you she thinks I’m hot.” Bryce pointed at Justin.
“It doesn’t count if you’re objectively attractive Walker. I also think the blond guy from the Percy Jackson movie is hot. Because he is objectively attractive.”
“Objectively attractive?”
“You’re lucky you’re rich.” I muttered. Justin choked. “You’re a very pretty man Bryce Walker.”
“Do we get called pretty too Addison?” Monty asked.
“If you don’t call me by my full name again then sure Monty. You are also pretty. Foley, I swear if you drop me, you’re sleeping on the floor tonight.” His hand tightened around my thigh.
The group of us hung out for a while. At some point Scott joined us. Even though we weren’t friends per say, he was still nice to me when I was around. He swam over to my corner of the pool. “I’m supposed to ask you if you think I’m pretty?”
“Scott. If you don’t know you’re pretty, I don’t know what to say to you.”
“Alright then. Why was I supposed to ask?”
“I acknowledged Bryce is objectively attractive and the children felt left out.”
“I see. Why are you hiding in a corner?”
“Hiding from Justin. He’s trying to get me to play chicken. But I don’t feel like getting dropped again.”
“And why does he think you’d get to play with anyone else?”
“I think the attempt would be very entertaining actually.” There was a ringing over by the table.
“Someone’s phone is ringing.” I called. The ringing stopped and started again immediately. Zach looked up. It was his phone.
“It’s probably his mommy calling to tell him he has to come home before it gets dark.” Bryce teased. The boys laughed. I even chuckled a little to myself. Oh, how bad I would feel about that chuckle in a few hours. Zach splashed him. By the time the phone began its second round of ringing again, Zach was out of the pool and grabbing it. He was smiling when he answered it.
“Hey Mom. I’m com-.” It was quiet. “Yeah, I’ll be right home.” He hung up and quickly pulled on his pants, over his wet swim trucks. He threw on his shirt and practically sprinted back in the house. He didn’t say a word to any of us as he left.
“What’s going on with him?” Bryce said. We all stared after him.
A few hours after I got home, I got a text from Bryce. Justin got the same text. Zach’s dad died. Justin and I sat and looked at each other at the table, shocked. We sat there for a solid ten minutes, trying to absorb the information we had been given. I was sure our friends were in the same position. How did you respond to something like that? None of us had ever lost a parent. Sure, I had lost a couple of grandparents. I probably wasn’t the only one. But they’re sort of expected to die. They’re old. They’ve lived. Our parents weren’t old. Not old enough to die yet anyway. I picked my phone back up and texted Zach the only thing I could think to say. He would hear the words a lot in the next few months. I am so sorry. I knew he wouldn’t answer.
Zach wasn’t at school for the rest of the week. Not that he should have been. He had been excused from all of his other exams. Because of course he should have been. I didn’t see him until I was walking home from a date with Monty over the weekend. He was just… walking around town. He didn’t see me at first. When he noticed me standing up the street, he waved a little. I waved back and slowly walked over to him. Even though Zach Dempsey and I weren’t really friends, we were friendly. That’s why it didn’t feel weird when the only thing my brain said to do, was hug him. He didn’t cry. He didn’t say anything. He just hugged me back. We didn’t talk about that random, silent hug on the street again. Not for a long time at least. We simply nodded as we parted ways. He walked one way and I walked the other.
July changed a lot of things. Bryce left town with his family a few days after Zach’s dad’s funeral. Seth was back in town too. That meant Justin spent most of the first couple of weeks of July at my house. He was right. My parents were not happy about him doing summer school. As his not-mom my mum had a strict ‘no fun until homework is done and checked’ rule. At first, I spent my time with Monty during school hours. We weren’t really sure what the summer meant for our relationship. Those first few dates, we mostly talked about that.
“Well, I don’t want to not see you.” Monty said, between kisses in the backseat of my car. We had parked at a secluded clearing overlooking the river.
“I don’t want to not see you either. It’s going to be hard though.”
“Don’t talk about hard right now Doll. Please.” I pulled away and looked at him wide-eyed. “You don’t strike me as a public sex kind of girl. And I don’t want to get a public indecency charge.”
“Yeah. I’m not.” I sat up. “Justin being at my place complicates things.”
“Oh, I know.” He ground out as he adjusted his jeans. I could tell my cheeks were flushed.
“We knew we couldn’t see each other every day.”
“But it’s not easy not seeing you.”
“I know it’s not.”
“Why does this have to be so hard?” He sat back.
“I don’t know.” Neither of us were ready nor willing to have the ‘tell other people’ talk. Even though it had been almost a year. And probably needed to happen.
“Seeing each other while school is in, isn’t such a bad thing, is it?”
“No.”
“And I do have other friends. I could say I’m going to the city with Alex or something. Give us some more time?”
“That’s true.”
I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. “I could take you to the bookstore.” He blinked at me. “What?”
“The bookstore?”
“It’s air conditioned.” I shrugged and climbed into his lap. His hands instinctively found their way to my hips.
“You just need someone to carry your books again.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I smirked.
There was something different about Justin since he started summer school. I couldn’t put my finger on it. He was… distracted. I noticed he spent more time on his phone after homework than paying attention to what we were doing. Which was fine when it was show re-runs or my mom’s pick for movie night. But when you’re trying to play Ticket to Ride with a guy, it’s much easier when they are paying attention. “Hey. Earth to Justin. Hello?”
“Huh?” He looked up from his phone.
“It’s been your turn for the past five minutes.”
“Shit, sorry.” He looked at his cards and the map. Picking up a red and a pink from the pile, he settled back in his chair. Interesting. I frowned at the board, trying to figure out what he was doing. I came back with nothing. His phone buzzed again. I glanced at it. So did he. Then my phone buzzed. He glanced at it. So, did I. It was like we were waiting to see who would grab their phone first. After a few beats, his hand went to his phone. He smirked a little and put it down. I didn’t check mine.
I came home from a date with Monty a little late on Thursday. It was nearing five when I walked in the door, after I fixed my hair. I dropped my purse and stopped dead in my tracks. Justin had company. Company in the form of Jessica Davis. Who was currently sitting in his lap. On my couch. Making out with him. On my couch. They had their hands up each other’s shirts. On my couch. I cleared my throat. Jessica pulled away and turned towards me. “Oh, hey Addy.” She greeted, like this was normal.
“Hey Addy. You’re… just getting home?” His speech was slowed. Are you shitting me?
“Yeah. What’s going on?”
“Your parents said I could have a friend over after class.”
“Okay.” I blinked. She was still perched in his lap. I glanced at the clock. “I suggest you fix your shirts because they should be home soon. And I don’t think they want to see, uh, this.” I motioned in their general direction. Jessica laughed and climbed off Justin.
“Oh, don’t be such a priss, Addison.”
“I’m not being a priss. I just wasn’t expecting to come home to people making out on my couch.” She rolled her eyes. “Great to see you too. Hey, Justin. Can I steal you for a sec?” I waved upstairs. “There’s snacks in the cupboard, Jess.”
Justin followed me upstairs, trying not to giggle at, assumingly, the fact that he didn’t get caught by my parents. I shut the door when we got to my room. “What the fuck Justin?”
“What?” He shrugged.
“What do you mean what?”
“What?”
“Making out with a girl on our couch?” He was trying to avoid eye contact. My parents are going to kill him.
“No one was home. It’s not a big deal.”
“How long has this been going on?”
“I don’t know, a couple weeks?” I blinked at him. He was still trying to look away from me. I grabbed his face and made him look at me.
“Are you fucking high right now?”
“No? What? Why would you ask that?” His eyes were bloodshot. He was acting very much like Justin when Justin has been indulging in Bryce’s stash.
“Don’t lie to me Justin Foley. You know my parent’s rules. Do you want them to freak out?”
“Oh, come on Addison. It was a little weed. It’s not that big of a deal.” I sighed heavily.
“You know what, whatever. You obviously don’t care. So, I suggest you tell your girlfriend to leave or figure out a way to sober up before they get home. And if that fails, tell her to leave, and come hide in here until you’re sober enough to face them.” I grabbed a book off my shelf and went back downstairs. I nodded at Jessica, who had made herself some crackers and dip. Sitting at the table, I texted Monty.
Justin and Jessica? Did you know about this? He responded a couple of minutes later.
No? Actually?
Yeah. They were making out on my couch when I got home. And to make things even more awkward and complicated, they’re both high.
I mean, to be fair, weed isn’t really that bad.
Yeah. I know. But that’s not the point. My parents are going to freak. Now is really not the time to be pissing them off.
Oh crap. You guys leave for Boston soon, don’t you?
Next week. And if Justin can’t keep his shit together… I left the unspoken implication hang in cyberspace. Are you really just going to ignore the fact that they were on the couch?
I was hoping to just ignore that fact.
Our make out spots are becoming fewer and further between.
We could just stay in your bed, Doll.
But the couch has the TV. So we can not watch a movie without worrying about my laptop falling.
“Who you texting so much?” Jessica asked, trying to peer at my phone.
“Friend from Boston.” I said, locking my phone.
“Oh, friend from Boston, you say? Is he cute?”
“I guess? His girlfriend probably thinks so.”
“Oh. Not a secret long distance lover then?”
“No. And we grew up together. It would be weird.” I slipped my phone in my pocket and grabbed some cereal. We both looked up when my parents got home. I took that as my cue to go get Justin. I practically kicked him downstairs so he could go entertain his girlfriend with my parents and I could have some time to process how I missed it. Probably the same way he has missed me having a boyfriend for… almost a year.
The day before we left for Boston, Justin and I were running around like mad men. I had plans with Monty and Justin had plans with Jessica tonight, so I didn’t want to be too long packing. Unfortunately, neither of us could find anything we wanted to bring. It was going to be nice so I wanted to bring some dresses. We had a few things planned, but like with our other trips, there would be plenty of time to lounge around the house.
“Have you seen my pink and green dress?”
“The one with the stripes? No. Have you seen my blue shirt?”
“I think mum put it in the wash.”
“Okay.” Justin went down the hall to the bathroom. “Has anyone seen my shampoo?” He called.
“It’s in here.” My dad called from their room. I was busy ripping apart my closet. I groaned in frustration.
“You know, it’s just Boston. We go every year.”
“I know Justin. I just like to be prepared for every eventuality.”
“Yeah. Wait… are you trying to impress Adrian?” Justin laughed. I turned and he was leaning against the doorframe.
“No. Absolutely not. Besides, he has a girlfriend.” A girlfriend I happen to like.
“If you say so.” He smirked. I rolled my eyes and flipped him off as he went back to packing his bag. I gave up on my closet and decided to tackle our toiletries. I wasn’t too concerned with travel sizes because it was all going in my checked luggage.
“Decide what book you’re taking with you Addy?”
“Don’t you mean books, plural? It is a 6-hour flight after all.” He laughed.
“Okay, okay. Books?”
“I’m happy you asked.” I grinned as I pulled out the Barnes & Noble bag from under my bed. His jaw dropped. I shrugged.
“Your parents are going to freak.”
“They know I went book shopping.”
After a very long day of packing, Justin left to go meet Jessica. I texted Monty to let him know I would be leaving in about fifteen minutes. “I’m going to hang out with Alex and Clay for a bit.” I told my parents.
“Just remember we leave early tomorrow for the airport Addison.” My dad said, not looking up from his list. My mom was emptying the fridge.
“I will.”
When I got to the cliffside where we agreed to meet, Monty was waiting for me. I couldn’t help myself. I ran and held onto him like it was the last time I would ever see him. “You’re only leaving for two weeks Addison.” He grunted at the impact.
“I’m going to miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too.” He kissed the top of my head. We stood like that for a few more minutes before finally separating. I took his hand and led him up the trail. It was good for both of us to be walking the trails. He was starting summer training with the boys while we were gone, and I was going to be sitting for around 8 hours straight tomorrow. Provided our flight wasn’t delayed, of course. It was just starting to get dark, and I stopped along the way to take in the town’s skyline in the evening dusk. Monty rested his chin on top of my head, and I sighed, leaning back into him. It was so peaceful. I looked up and him and noticed a small bruise forming on his jaw. Not wanting to start a fight right before I left for two weeks, I pretended I hadn’t seen it. I smiled sadly to myself still. I wish he would just talk to me about it.
After a few hours, wandering around and soaking in the last time we would have for a couple of weeks, which feels like an eternity when you’re 16, we knew it was time to say goodbye. When we got to the parking lot, he made me turn around at his Jeep. I furrowed my brow. Before I could ask, he twirled his finger in the air. I clamped my mouth closed and turned. He rummaged around for a minute. “What are you doing?”
“You’ll see. Just wait a minute.” I huffed. He chuckled. “Ah.” He muttered. He tapped me on the shoulder. I turned. He held out a small Barnes and Noble bag. I was taken aback. I wasn’t expecting anything. I pointed at the bag and then at me.
“F-for me?”
“It’s not much so don’t start.” He smiled, shyly.
“Okay.” I took the bag.
“I can’t wrap stuff worth shit, so the bag is as good as you’re going to get.” I laughed and shrugged. It was a fair enough explanation. I opened the bag and pulled out a spiralbound notebook. The cover was pink with the titles of all the classics on it. I smiled. “You won’t be here for your birthday, and I know your notebook is getting full so….” Monty trailed off.
“Thank you. This is really sweet.” I flipped it open and gasped. On the first page, he had drawn a book like on the cover, and titled it The Next Classic and written Hawthorne at the bottom where the author’s last name sometimes appears.
“Happy birthday, Addison.”
“Oh.” I smiled. My eyes had started to tear up. This was the sweetest gift anyone had ever given me. I closed the gap between us and kissed him. He pulled me closer to him and I deepened the kiss just a little. Not too much, just enough to make him remember me while I was gone.I had finished the last book on my To Read shelf by mid-May. Hopping off my bed, I went over to my bookshelf. There was only one shelf of space left. The stack to shelve had gotten a tad out of hand. Sighing to myself, I sat down to start reorganizing. I pulled the books from H to Z down to fit the new additions to my collection in. My dad poked his head in when the stack fell over. “Everything okay in here?” I was surrounded by books. Dad tried not to laugh as he took the scene in. Grabbing books, I turned back to the shelf.“Perfect. Totally meant to sit in a sea of books this afternoon.” “Sure. You have fun with that. I have to head into the office for a while. Tell your mother I probably won’t be home for dinner.” “Will do.” I nodded, not turning my attention back to him. Monty texted me shortly after I had finished the M’s. What are you up to today? Organizing my bookshelf. I finished my TBR so now they go in the permanent collection. Only my girlfriend would make a permanent book collection and a separate section for books that aren’t done. Hey! Lots of people do this. Yes honey. What are you up to today? Trying to study for my last History test. It’s very boring. I’m sure it is. If you’re free Saturday, how about a get out of studying free card? Oh? What did you have in mind Doll? I rolled my eyes and grinned. Of course he thought I meant something dirty. Cool your jets Monty. I was going to see if you wanted to go to the bookstore with me?I can make that happen. What time? I think Clay and I are getting lunch to go over our study guide for the Math final. I could do like 1?Sounds good. Do you want me to meet you at the bookstore? Sure. I go to the B&N at the Everglade. It’s a date. I smiled and went back to my books. When it was done, I snapped a picture and sent it to Justin. I finished my TBR! You know what that means?Oh no. More books? More books! Do I have to come with you?No. The parents gave me a limit of 10 books this time. Only 10?I have points saved up. And 10 is a perfectly reasonable amount of new books. For you? Yes. For normal people? No. Oh shhh, or I’ll make you come with me. Okay, okay. It’s reasonable lol. I texted Monty a picture of my bookshelf too. He responded with a laughing emoji. Teachers were beginning to wrap up final units and hand out study guides for finals. Justin was still mad about summer school so he kept up his not giving a shit attitude. I rolled my eyes whenever he sighed or complained about finals. And I stopped offering to help him. If he wanted to do more work in summer school, that was fine by me. It gave me more time to spend with Monty. On Saturday, I met Clay at Rosie’s and we both got milkshakes. I wasn’t very hungry, and I didn’t want burger breath later. “So Clay, how’s Hannah doing?” “I don’t know. We have hung out a few times, and I see her at work, but I don’t think we have hung out hung out.” “You still haven’t asked her out?” “I mean, we went to Jeff’s place not together, but we were both there, and I feel like maybe we connected?” “Connected?” “Well, we were doing… stuff… and we talked.” My eyes widened. “Clay Jensen did you do drugs in Jeff’s basement?” “Maybe?” I was stunned. “Well, I’ll be damned. Clay Jensen, having fun. I never thought I’d see the day.”“Ha ha.” He joked. “I’m kidding! But seriously. Take the risk Clay.” “I’ll think about it. Can we look at this study guide now?” I sighed and pulled it out of my bag. We both shuddered. This is not going to be a pretty exam.By the time Clay and I called it an afternoon, it was 12:30. That gave me just enough time to get to the city. We packed our notes and headed outside. “Man, I really need a car.” Clay sighed, unlocking his bike. “Your parents said no?” “I have a bike.” He waved towards the bike. “That you do. I would offer you a ride, but I’m headed into the city for the afternoon.” “No worries, Addy.” He smiled. We waved goodbye and I watched as he biked down the street. I started my car and texted Monty. Leaving Rosie’s now. Might be a little late. Drive safe. Sounds good, drive safe Doll. I stopped at Starbucks when I got to the mall and got an iced coffee to sip while I browse and a coffee for Montgomery. He was waiting outside Barnes & Noble for me. “Hey handsome. Fancy seeing you here.” I winked as I walked up to him.“Hey gorgeous. What can I say, thought it would be a good way to find a girl. You know what they say about the readers.” “I have a feeling I do.” I laughed and handed him his coffee. “Something to do with being high strung, overachievers with daddy issues?” “Somethin’ like that.” Monty took my hand and let me lead him into the bookstore. I decided I would keep my ten-book limit to myself. I knew how many points I had, and I still had birthday money left from last year. He chuckled as I practically dragged him towards the YA section. I didn’t stop to look at the romance displays or the cookbooks or the journals. I was on a mission. There were books to buy. I sipped my coffee as I browsed. As usual, I made my way up and down the aisles quickly once to see if anything immediately caught my eye. A couple of books did, so I grabbed them to look over after I was done my power walk. “I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you move that fast.” “Ass.” I laughed as I read over the synopsizes of the two books. Neither of them was my cup of tea in the end, so I decided to put them back. I could feel Montgomery watching me as I looked at the shelves. “What?” I asked as I pulled a book down and skimmed the back. “Nothin’. You’re just cute is all.” “Oh?” “Yeah. And those shorts are very nice.” I blushed and smiled softly. “Thanks.” I handed him the book. “Oh, I see. You needed someone to carry the books.”“Well, who else would I have asked, when I have my strong, athletic boyfriend to follow me around the store?” He only laughed in response. I grabbed a few more books as I sipped at my coffee. Once in a while, I would notice him watching me and turn to smile at him. There were six books in Monty’s hands before he finished his coffee. “I’m going to throw this out. Try to leave some books for the next person, okay Bookworm?” “I’ll try. No promises though.” I mused. By the time he came back, I had three more books. I looked up when I heard him laugh. I grinned at him and held out the books. He took them, tucked them under his arm, and stepped towards me. My brow furrowed and he reached to tuck my hair behind my ear, trailing his hand down to cup the back of my neck, and pull me towards him to kiss me. I kissed him back softly. It was nice to be able to kiss in public. I liked our little bubble. It felt like we were the only two people in the world. He pulled away first. We continued to peruse the store for a while and stole kisses and glances along the way. Monty slid his hand in my back pocket as we walked. I grabbed another couple of books and sighed. “What’s up?” “I guess that’s enough books for a little while.” “For a little while? Addison. There’s like,” he paused to count, “sixteen books here.” “Yeah. And that isn’t even all of what is on my TBR still. And it’s buy one get one half off all books.” I shrugged. “Jesus. Crazy woman.” He muttered softly and kissed the side of my head. I sighed and turned to head for the till. After discounts, points, and birthday money, my total was twenty-five dollars. “Now to figure out how to sneak the extra six books into the house.” I muttered as we left. “The extra what whats?” “Uh… nothing.” I smiled sheepishly. He shook his head playfully. “Oh, hey. Pretzels. Split one?” “Nice change of subject. Sure. Pretzel sounds good.” He rubbed my hand as he held it. This is nice. In late June, just as finals week was hitting its peak, tragedy struck our little group of jocks. The boys were at Bryce’s trying to blow off some steam. I was trying to be nice to him and make an effort for Justin, so I tagged along. The way his family approached and flaunted their money always took me by surprise. I wasn’t oblivious. I knew my family had more money than most. More than I liked to consider or admit. But it was never flashed around the way it was with the Walkers. I came from old money on my dad’s side, like his mom. But unlike him, I wasn’t exposed to it on a daily basis. The concept of a twice a week maid was enough to widen my eyes. The only time my family had a maid come was when Gran was coming to stay with us, or we were hosting Christmas back when all my grandparents lived state-side, so a very deep clean was needed. The fact that they had a chef come in once a week to meal prep for them was… almost incomprehensible. The only time I met a chef was when I found a hair in my food when my family went out one night. I had been to his house before of course. I was friends with Justin. We shared custody of him most weeks. Even still, I found myself hanging back and watching the boys socialize. Or I was trying to at least. Bryce thrusting a bottle of water in my hand startled me. I jumped slightly. “Thanks.” I muttered. “Don’t mention it.” He chuckled. He settled himself next to me and leaned back against the counter. “Hi.” “Hi. You know that they will talk to you, right? They know you.” “I know.” “Okay. I’ll talk to you then.” Great. Just what I want. “Sure Bryce.” “How are finals treating you?” “I cried before my honours English final yesterday.” “I almost forgot about my math final.” “So, we are basically in the same boat.” “Basically. You had bio and history today?” “Yeah.” “How were they?” “I think I did fairly okay. Can you imagine what my mum would do if I bombed the history final?” He stared off into space with me and shivered. “I would say something nice about you at your funeral.” “Thanks Walker. Killing me does seem like a lot of hassle for that though. Like it seems like it would just inconvenience them. Maybe locked in my room to study until I’m forty?” “True. I would text you news updates. Keep you updated in all things Bryce and the boys.” “Prefect. Make isolation at least a little bit bearable.” He was actually kind of nice sometimes. Maybe. If I squinted.“Yeah. My dad would have freaked if I missed my math final.” “How could you take over the family business if you fail tenth grade math Bryce?” “No idea. Not like he doesn’t pay someone to do all that math for him. Speaking of, he wanted me to ask you if your dad is taking on any new clients now that tax season is winding down?” “I don’t know. I don’t think he is, but I can get him to email your dad.” I don’t think he’s going to take your dad on. “I’ll let him know.” “Where are you off to this summer?” “I think we are summering in Fiji?” “Because California isn’t summer-y enough?” “Mom thinks the sun feels different. More sunny. I tan better in tropical environments.” “Sure, you do.”“What are your family’s plans?” “We have our annual family trip to Boston at the end of July into the first week of August. Dad pushed his vacation time this year.” “Doesn’t he own the company?” “Yeah. But his associate wanted to take vacation in mid-July. She’s taking her kids to Disney World.” “Again, doesn’t he own the company?”“Again, yes. Why?” “Shouldn’t he get first pick?” “Well, our vacation basically costs us airfare, food, and spending money. Hers and everyone else’s costs a lot more. And requires more planning. So, he lets them have first pick and takes whatever’s left for the most part. Because of that, people are more willing to pick fairly.” “Interesting.”“Are you two going to come outside or not?” Justin called from the back yard. Bryce and I looked up and found the house empty. All the boys had moved to the back. We shrugged and joined them. I needed to pass the sniff test so I didn’t dare go in the pool house. Anders and Dylan were in the pool house enjoying Bryce’s stash. It was already nearing eighty degrees in the daytime. We were in for a hot summer. Justin pulled off his shirt, dropped his pants, and jumped in the pool. Shaking my head, I followed Bryce outside. I sat on the edge of the pool and dipped my feet in the water. Monty was trying to be discreet and swim backwards towards me. He stopped just shy of me and shared a look with Zach. I pretended not to notice. It looked like I was busy watching Justin goof off with Bryce and Garrison. I was watching my boyfriend out of the corner of my eye though. I felt a wave close to my foot. “Montgomery. If you touch my foot, I’m not responsible for what happens to your face.” His hand stopped and his eyes widened. Justin laughed and called from across the pool. “She isn’t wrong dude. She kicked me in the face when I was trying to bug her one time.” “I wasn’t going to….” Monty trailed off. “Sure, you weren’t.” I shook my head and moved to stand up. I pulled my tank top over my head. The shorts I was wearing were fine to go in the water. Seeing as we had to keep up appearances, I couldn’t very well ask Monty to tighten the tie on my bikini top. That would be too much. The boys would question that. Joking around and talking to each other in a group was okay. Touching was not. “Hey Justin, do you mind?” I gestured to my back, not looking at the pool. “He’s a little busy.” Bryce said. I could hear splashing behind me. “Zach?” “Sure.” He climbed out of the pool and untied the bottom strings. He pulled them tighter in a knot and doubled the bow. “Good?” “Yeah.” I turned around. “Thanks.” Bryce whistled. Gross.“Why are you keeping her all to yourself again?” He asked Justin. I flipped him off. Why am I being nice to you again? “I’m not. It’s Addison. Even if I was, I don’t share Bryce.” He seemed to shut the conversation down. Only I could pick up on the stern undertone in his voice. Just as quickly as it came, it was gone, and they were back to goofing off again. I slipped in the pool and noticing Justin was distracted, I swam over to him and jumped on his back. I may have accidentally splashed Monty in my jumping. I snuck a peek at him and he was rolling his eyes and laughing. “Chicken?” Justin asked. His hands went to my thighs unconsciously. “No. You dropped me last time. Though it would be entertaining trying to watch the rest of you lift each other.” “We’re strong.” The boys around me protested. They all made a show of flexing. “Yes, yes. You’re all strong and hot. With superior athletic abilities. Go you.” I laughed. “Ha! I told you she thinks I’m hot.” Bryce pointed at Justin. “It doesn’t count if you’re objectively attractive Walker. I also think the blond guy from the Percy Jackson movie is hot. Because he is objectively attractive.” “Objectively attractive?” “You’re lucky you’re rich.” I muttered. Justin choked. “You’re a very pretty man Bryce Walker.” “Do we get called pretty too Addison?” Monty asked.“If you don’t call me by my full name again then sure Monty. You are also pretty. Foley, I swear if you drop me, you’re sleeping on the floor tonight.” His hand tightened around my thigh. The group of us hung out for a while. At some point Scott joined us. Even though we weren’t friends per say, he was still nice to me when I was around. He swam over to my corner of the pool. “I’m supposed to ask you if you think I’m pretty?” “Scott. If you don’t know you’re pretty, I don’t know what to say to you.” “Alright then. Why was I supposed to ask?” “I acknowledged Bryce is objectively attractive and the children felt left out.” “I see. Why are you hiding in a corner?” “Hiding from Justin. He’s trying to get me to play chicken. But I don’t feel like getting dropped again.” “And why does he think you’d get to play with anyone else?” “I think the attempt would be very entertaining actually.” There was a ringing over by the table. “Someone’s phone is ringing.” I called. The ringing stopped and started again immediately. Zach looked up. It was his phone. “It’s probably his mommy calling to tell him he has to come home before it gets dark.” Bryce teased. The boys laughed. I even chuckled a little to myself. Oh, how bad I would feel about that chuckle in a few hours. Zach splashed him. By the time the phone began its second round of ringing again, Zach was out of the pool and grabbing it. He was smiling when he answered it. “Hey Mom. I’m com-.” It was quiet. “Yeah, I’ll be right home.” He hung up and quickly pulled on his pants, over his wet swim trucks. He threw on his shirt and practically sprinted back in the house. He didn’t say a word to any of us as he left.“What’s going on with him?” Bryce said. We all stared after him. A few hours after I got home, I got a text from Bryce. Justin got the same text. Zach’s dad died. Justin and I sat and looked at each other at the table, shocked. We sat there for a solid ten minutes, trying to absorb the information we had been given. I was sure our friends were in the same position. How did you respond to something like that? None of us had ever lost a parent. Sure, I had lost a couple of grandparents. I probably wasn’t the only one. But they’re sort of expected to die. They’re old. They’ve lived. Our parents weren’t old. Not old enough to die yet anyway. I picked my phone back up and texted Zach the only thing I could think to say. He would hear the words a lot in the next few months. I am so sorry. I knew he wouldn’t answer. Zach wasn’t at school for the rest of the week. Not that he should have been. He had been excused from all of his other exams. Because of course he should have been. I didn’t see him until I was walking home from a date with Monty over the weekend. He was just… walking around town. He didn’t see me at first. When he noticed me standing up the street, he waved a little. I waved back and slowly walked over to him. Even though Zach Dempsey and I weren’t really friends, we were friendly. That’s why it didn’t feel weird when the only thing my brain said to do, was hug him. He didn’t cry. He didn’t say anything. He just hugged me back. We didn’t talk about that random, silent hug on the street again. Not for a long time at least. We simply nodded as we parted ways. He walked one way and I walked the other. July changed a lot of things. Bryce left town with his family a few days after Zach’s dad’s funeral. Seth was back in town too. That meant Justin spent most of the first couple of weeks of July at my house. He was right. My parents were not happy about him doing summer school. As his not-mom my mum had a strict ‘no fun until homework is done and checked’ rule. At first, I spent my time with Monty during school hours. We weren’t really sure what the summer meant for our relationship. Those first few dates, we mostly talked about that. “Well, I don’t want to not see you.” Monty said, between kisses in the backseat of my car. We had parked at a secluded clearing overlooking the river. “I don’t want to not see you either. It’s going to be hard though.” “Don’t talk about hard right now Doll. Please.” I pulled away and looked at him wide-eyed. “You don’t strike me as a public sex kind of girl. And I don’t want to get a public indecency charge.” “Yeah. I’m not.” I sat up. “Justin being at my place complicates things.” “Oh, I know.” He ground out as he adjusted his jeans. I could tell my cheeks were flushed. “We knew we couldn’t see each other every day.” “But it’s not easy not seeing you.” “I know it’s not.” “Why does this have to be so hard?” He sat back. “I don’t know.” Neither of us were ready nor willing to have the ‘tell other people’ talk. Even though it had been almost a year. And probably needed to happen. “Seeing each other while school is in, isn’t such a bad thing, is it?” “No.” “And I do have other friends. I could say I’m going to the city with Alex or something. Give us some more time?” “That’s true.” I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. “I could take you to the bookstore.” He blinked at me. “What?” “The bookstore?” “It’s air conditioned.” I shrugged and climbed into his lap. His hands instinctively found their way to my hips. “You just need someone to carry your books again.” “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I smirked. There was something different about Justin since he started summer school. I couldn’t put my finger on it. He was… distracted. I noticed he spent more time on his phone after homework than paying attention to what we were doing. Which was fine when it was show re-runs or my mom’s pick for movie night. But when you’re trying to play Ticket to Ride with a guy, it’s much easier when they are paying attention. “Hey. Earth to Justin. Hello?”“Huh?” He looked up from his phone. “It’s been your turn for the past five minutes.” “Shit, sorry.” He looked at his cards and the map. Picking up a red and a pink from the pile, he settled back in his chair. Interesting. I frowned at the board, trying to figure out what he was doing. I came back with nothing. His phone buzzed again. I glanced at it. So did he. Then my phone buzzed. He glanced at it. So, did I. It was like we were waiting to see who would grab their phone first. After a few beats, his hand went to his phone. He smirked a little and put it down. I didn’t check mine. I came home from a date with Monty a little late on Thursday. It was nearing five when I walked in the door, after I fixed my hair. I dropped my purse and stopped dead in my tracks. Justin had company. Company in the form of Jessica Davis. Who was currently sitting in his lap. On my couch. Making out with him. On my couch. They had their hands up each other’s shirts. On my couch. I cleared my throat. Jessica pulled away and turned towards me. “Oh, hey Addy.” She greeted, like this was normal. “Hey Addy. You’re… just getting home?” His speech was slowed. Are you shitting me? “Yeah. What’s going on?” “Your parents said I could have a friend over after class.” “Okay.” I blinked. She was still perched in his lap. I glanced at the clock. “I suggest you fix your shirts because they should be home soon. And I don’t think they want to see, uh, this.” I motioned in their general direction. Jessica laughed and climbed off Justin. “Oh, don’t be such a priss, Addison.” “I’m not being a priss. I just wasn’t expecting to come home to people making out on my couch.” She rolled her eyes. “Great to see you too. Hey, Justin. Can I steal you for a sec?” I waved upstairs. “There’s snacks in the cupboard, Jess.” Justin followed me upstairs, trying not to giggle at, assumingly, the fact that he didn’t get caught by my parents. I shut the door when we got to my room. “What the fuck Justin?” “What?” He shrugged. “What do you mean what?” “What?” “Making out with a girl on our couch?” He was trying to avoid eye contact. My parents are going to kill him. “No one was home. It’s not a big deal.” “How long has this been going on?” “I don’t know, a couple weeks?” I blinked at him. He was still trying to look away from me. I grabbed his face and made him look at me. “Are you fucking high right now?” “No? What? Why would you ask that?” His eyes were bloodshot. He was acting very much like Justin when Justin has been indulging in Bryce’s stash. “Don’t lie to me Justin Foley. You know my parent’s rules. Do you want them to freak out?” “Oh, come on Addison. It was a little weed. It’s not that big of a deal.” I sighed heavily. “You know what, whatever. You obviously don’t care. So, I suggest you tell your girlfriend to leave or figure out a way to sober up before they get home. And if that fails, tell her to leave, and come hide in here until you’re sober enough to face them.” I grabbed a book off my shelf and went back downstairs. I nodded at Jessica, who had made herself some crackers and dip. Sitting at the table, I texted Monty. Justin and Jessica? Did you know about this? He responded a couple of minutes later. No? Actually?Yeah. They were making out on my couch when I got home. And to make things even more awkward and complicated, they’re both high. I mean, to be fair, weed isn’t really that bad. Yeah. I know. But that’s not the point. My parents are going to freak. Now is really not the time to be pissing them off. Oh crap. You guys leave for Boston soon, don’t you? Next week. And if Justin can’t keep his shit together… I left the unspoken implication hang in cyberspace. Are you really just going to ignore the fact that they were on the couch?I was hoping to just ignore that fact. Our make out spots are becoming fewer and further between. We could just stay in your bed, Doll. But the couch has the TV. So we can not watch a movie without worrying about my laptop falling. “Who you texting so much?” Jessica asked, trying to peer at my phone. “Friend from Boston.” I said, locking my phone. “Oh, friend from Boston, you say? Is he cute?”“I guess? His girlfriend probably thinks so.” “Oh. Not a secret long distance lover then?”“No. And we grew up together. It would be weird.” I slipped my phone in my pocket and grabbed some cereal. We both looked up when my parents got home. I took that as my cue to go get Justin. I practically kicked him downstairs so he could go entertain his girlfriend with my parents and I could have some time to process how I missed it. Probably the same way he has missed me having a boyfriend for… almost a year. The day before we left for Boston, Justin and I were running around like mad men. I had plans with Monty and Justin had plans with Jessica tonight, so I didn’t want to be too long packing. Unfortunately, neither of us could find anything we wanted to bring. It was going to be nice so I wanted to bring some dresses. We had a few things planned, but like with our other trips, there would be plenty of time to lounge around the house. “Have you seen my pink and green dress?” “The one with the stripes? No. Have you seen my blue shirt?”“I think mum put it in the wash.” “Okay.” Justin went down the hall to the bathroom. “Has anyone seen my shampoo?” He called. “It’s in here.” My dad called from their room. I was busy ripping apart my closet. I groaned in frustration. “You know, it’s just Boston. We go every year.” “I know Justin. I just like to be prepared for every eventuality.” “Yeah. Wait… are you trying to impress Adrian?” Justin laughed. I turned and he was leaning against the doorframe. “No. Absolutely not. Besides, he has a girlfriend.” A girlfriend I happen to like. “If you say so.” He smirked. I rolled my eyes and flipped him off as he went back to packing his bag. I gave up on my closet and decided to tackle our toiletries. I wasn’t too concerned with travel sizes because it was all going in my checked luggage. “Decide what book you’re taking with you Addy?” “Don’t you mean books, plural? It is a 6-hour flight after all.” He laughed. “Okay, okay. Books?” “I’m happy you asked.” I grinned as I pulled out the Barnes & Noble bag from under my bed. His jaw dropped. I shrugged. “Your parents are going to freak.” “They know I went book shopping.” After a very long day of packing, Justin left to go meet Jessica. I texted Monty to let him know I would be leaving in about fifteen minutes. “I’m going to hang out with Alex and Clay for a bit.” I told my parents. “Just remember we leave early tomorrow for the airport Addison.” My dad said, not looking up from his list. My mom was emptying the fridge. “I will.” When I got to the cliffside where we agreed to meet, Monty was waiting for me. I couldn’t help myself. I ran and held onto him like it was the last time I would ever see him. “You’re only leaving for two weeks Addison.” He grunted at the impact. “I’m going to miss you.” “I’ll miss you too.” He kissed the top of my head. We stood like that for a few more minutes before finally separating. I took his hand and led him up the trail. It was good for both of us to be walking the trails. He was starting summer training with the boys while we were gone, and I was going to be sitting for around 8 hours straight tomorrow. Provided our flight wasn’t delayed, of course. It was just starting to get dark, and I stopped along the way to take in the town’s skyline in the evening dusk. Monty rested his chin on top of my head, and I sighed, leaning back into him. It was so peaceful. I looked up and him and noticed a small bruise forming on his jaw. Not wanting to start a fight right before I left for two weeks, I pretended I hadn’t seen it. I smiled sadly to myself still. I wish he would just talk to me about it. After a few hours, wandering around and soaking in the last time we would have for a couple of weeks, which feels like an eternity when you’re 16, we knew it was time to say goodbye. When we got to the parking lot, he made me turn around at his Jeep. I furrowed my brow. Before I could ask, he twirled his finger in the air. I clamped my mouth closed and turned. He rummaged around for a minute. “What are you doing?” “You’ll see. Just wait a minute.” I huffed. He chuckled. “Ah.” He muttered. He tapped me on the shoulder. I turned. He held out a small Barnes and Noble bag. I was taken aback. I wasn’t expecting anything. I pointed at the bag and then at me. “F-for me?” “It’s not much so don’t start.” He smiled, shyly. “Okay.” I took the bag. “I can’t wrap stuff worth shit, so the bag is as good as you’re going to get.” I laughed and shrugged. It was a fair enough explanation. I opened the bag and pulled out a spiralbound notebook. The cover was pink with the titles of all the classics on it. I smiled. “You won’t be here for your birthday, and I know your notebook is getting full so….” Monty trailed off. “Thank you. This is really sweet.” I flipped it open and gasped. On the first page, he had drawn a book like on the cover, and titled it The Next Classic and written Hawthorne at the bottom where the author’s last name sometimes appears. “Happy birthday, Addison.” “Oh.” I smiled. My eyes had started to tear up. This was the sweetest gift anyone had ever given me. I closed the gap between us and kissed him. He pulled me closer to him and I deepened the kiss just a little. Not too much, just enough to make him remember me while I was gone. 
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jensensfanfic · 2 years
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THE LOVE ACT
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pairing: clay jensen x fem!reader
warnings: -
a/n: i sat down to write a completely different kind of a fic with clay, but then this somehow happened? hahaha. personally i don't much like writing anything dialogue-free but i just couldn't stop once i started this and i hope someone enjoys it anyways.
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Clay was the type of friend that you could do anything with, tell anything to, and be your complete, unfiltered self around. He was kind, funny, protective, and you were so thankful to have him in your life.
At this point, in senior year, you'd been his best friend since you were very young. Your father's taught together at the same university, and that meant you would see him whenever they met up for coffee or to watch a game. It started off with your Dad handing you a little gift as you walked to Jensen's front door. He had knocked and then told you to wish Clay a happy birthday and hand it to him. Small, toddler hands reached for the box and found a colourful, toy robot inside. Father's suggested their son and daughter to high five, or hug in thanks, and the rest is history. Ever since, you'd hung out almost every single day.
Then, things changed. Not in a bad way, not at all, but you could tell things had shifted somewhere along the line, and you knew Clay felt it too.
Your eyes met and took far longer than usual to fall away. Hands lingered, fingers reaching out to touch, but never meeting. Hugs felt a second longer than they used to. Things between you were more tense, and even your closest friends had noticed.
Jessica, Tyler, Tony... all of them could tell that there was something more between the two of you. There had been days where Jess had asked you about it, and for months you lied, telling her that everything was normal. You were just best friends and that was all. But then eventually, you gave in. and you told her how you felt about Clay, really.
Clay had said the same things to Justin and Tony. They spilled on their suspicions, and in time, were also let in on his truth. The only problem was that neither of you would admit it to each other.
At first you were afraid of losing Clay if he ever found out, but the secret found it's way through your friend group, and it wasn't very long until both of you knew. Being mad at your friends only crossed your mind for a few hours, thoughts of the boy you were falling for taking over.
Quickly after, you realised that your fears were just that. He wasn't going anywhere. All your cards - and his - were on the table, and he was still inviting you over for movie nights, and study sessions, and whatever other reason he could come up with to spend more and more time with you. But he also always remained subtle and shy.
There was no push. You didn't feel any pressure whatsoever to discuss what you had both revealed, or to act on it in any way. You did the same for him, never asking questions or trying to talk about it; no matter how much you wanted to. Neither of you forced any kind of uninvited contact. Even though, every time you even glanced in Clay's direction now, you could so easily imagine yourselves together.
Your arms wrapped around him, your lips on his, your bodies tangled together. The images left your skin tingling, your body itching to act. And, finally, on a particular evening after school, you did.
It was a normal night. A Thursday. You both wanted to finish you robotics project that, of course, you had been working together on for a couple of weeks now. Clay asked you hold something in place while he collected some glue from a drawer, but then you slipped, or your hand cramped, or... something, and the robot fell. Two hands were swift to catch it, your fingers grazing over each other's as you carefully placed it back on the counter.
But neither of your hands moved. Both of them still touching as you felt Clay hook his index finger around yours. You reacted by doing the same, glancing up into slightly wide, hopeful eyes. Clay was brave in a lot of ways, but at this moment you thought maybe shyness would overcome him and he would back away. The next few moments proved you wrong.
Clay's fingertips brushed along and around the skin of your hand as he tested the waters, making his move and linking your hands together. Palm against palm, you watched in wonder as he smiled, loving the way it felt to properly hold a part of you. He reached to take the other hand, and you felt your own smile grow.
The spark between you crackled and shone, and a couple of seconds felt like a lifetime, before he took the ultimate step and asked you a simple, but life altering question. To which, you had an equally simple and equally life altering answer. Yes.
Eyes searched and lingered, before finally falling closed. Hands roamed, fingers wandering, feeling everywhere they could reach. Bodies moved closely together. Everything fell into place, and you felt so undoubtedly loved.
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I’ll probably comeback and edit this at some point - there are parts I’m not sure about, but it was written at 1am with no planning so I hope you liked so far :)
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greghatecrimes · 7 months
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i’ve been thinking about the bridge from “seven” by taylor swift (and I've been meaning to tell you/I think your house is haunted/your dad is always mad and that must be why/I think you should come live with me and we could be pirates/then you won’t have to cry/or hide in the closet) but in the context of thirteen’s childhood with her mom having huntington’s. it’s gonna make me cry
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cicixdruid · 2 years
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Home, A Devin Druid Fanfiction
Hey so I wrote this like 3 years ago but I'm never going to finish it so...... Here ya go. Enjoy. Love and light.
(So this is just going to be a cute little story about being Devin's girlfriend and missing him like crazy while he is on set and how great it is when he finally comes home)
I am waiting by the door as soon as Devin makes his way through it.
Before both his feet are even inside of our apartment, both my arms are already wrapped around him and tears are already rolling down my face.
I have missed him more than words could describe.
With the way I am clinging to him you'd think I hadn't seen him in years.
It had only been a week. A long, agonizing week.
I haven't even kissed him yet.
I am just holding onto him for dear life.
Devin soon picks up my chin and gently brings his lips closer to mine, attempting to kiss me softly. I do not allow this and instead opt for grabbing the back of his head and slamming his lips into mine.
He gives into the passionate kiss for a few seconds and then grabs my hands, whispering for me to calm down, assuring me he is here now.
He offers me that sweet, kind smile of his and it only makes me want to kiss him harder.
Before I can do so he pulls away and with his giggle that is to die for he tells me, "I have a surprise for you."
I playfully growl and try to catch his lips in another kiss. "Make out with me first."
He licks his lips, unable to hide his blushing as he shakes his head with a damn adorable grin. "You'll like this much better, I promise."
I growl.
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handdrawnfantasma · 2 years
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i’m the best at what i do and what i do is come up with increasingly more and more niche ideas for AUs that are of interest to a narrow demographic of me and me alone
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inpraizeof · 4 months
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Hey could you write a Finnick odair / reader where snow forces them to pretend to date like he did with katniss and peeta? The whole convince him and get married as a distraction thing? Thanks :)
the pretender
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finnick odair x reader
synopsis: being reaped from the victor’s pool changed your life in more ways than you imagined
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you were his favorite girl.
girl. you were a girl when you had been reaped, a girl when your feet stepped off the platform, more shocked that you didn’t immediately blow up into bits. a girl when you had committed your first kill. you remembered the sound of your knife slicing into human flesh for the first time. the ringing in your ears had become permanent after you had been too close to the explosion that had killed half of the tributes. an explosion that you had accidentally caused.
your rebellious spirit was fun at first, for the capital to laugh and delight in, until you stopped using the scripts that they had written for you, and tried to destroy the idea of the girl in their minds.
snow subdued you, tried to barter your family’s life with cooperation. unbeknownst to him, you hadn’t seen your family in years since they had abandoned you, for fighting against your father’s abuse.
“kill them. do whatever you want to them. just leave me alone.” your own words haunted you since the day snow had presented evidence of their murders. you didn’t dare flinch in his presence, holding a strong facade that you didn’t care, that they were beneath you.
as he left, irritated at your refusal to comply, letting ideas stir in his head with what to do with you, you broke down. tears shed as you realized that they were gone because of you, because you couldn’t let your anger go.
but snow liked you, he must’ve had a reason to keep you around for so long, and until just a few days ago, you hadn’t known why.
you breathed deeply as you heard your name called. it was deja vu, and suddenly you were back to the thirteen year old girl, who was so emaciated and starved that when her name was called, she believed she was hallucinating.
you looked crudely into the screen, not offering any smiles or sign of pride that you had been reaped, all over again.
“y/n l/n.” hearing your full name made you turn around immediately. you were slightly blinded by his blonde hair and pearly white smile.
“finnick odair.” you realized who the man was, quicker than you’d admit. the last time you had seen him was at a ridiculous capital party that snow had forced you to attend. finnick had been leaned against a wall, with two capital sluts hanging onto his shoulders, whispering in his ears simultaneously.
he smiled, not surprised that you didn’t say anything else besides his name. you had that tendency about you, to shoot down any attempt at conversation. even going as far to avoid it all together. “i’m glad you haven’t tried to run away, not after i had caught you eyes and you dashed off at that party. how long ago was that? three,” his speech hung onto the words, “four?”
“five months. it’s been five months, finnick.” you remembered his gaze, and remembered how your feet made you run at the sight. you had heard stories about finnick, and you weren’t exactly planning on ever talking to him.
“that’s right.” he smiled, “i hope you’ve been well since then. it was nice seeing you in something other than a bloody shirt.” his gaze suddenly seemed very far away, as if he was remembering exactly what you wore that night.
you shrugged, deciding to change topics, “everyone else is polishing their weapons,” you heard a guttural war cry, and saw another tribute lunge at a partner, “and methods.” finnick turned to the source of the cry and laughed slightly, “oh yeah? what’s your choice of weapon, again?”
“knives. anything long and sharp.” you always had an affinity for knives. it was second nature to you, an art of your district. your mind drifted away slightly to the array of knives that you had collected during your games. every tribute that you had slaughtered had a knife, and you collected them as a token. by the end, you had 23 knives, all representing a kill.
it had been upsetting when you went on your victory tour, to see the look on their family’s faces, but you had blurred out their emotions, and at the height of your submission to snow, had given out the same apathetic speech to every district.
finnick watched as your mind drifted back to reality. wherever you had gone for the better half of a minute, was a place finnick spent every waking moment, running away from.
he grabbed your shoulder, squeezing it slightly as he looked into your eyes, whispering your name, “hey, hey.” you focused on his eyes, gaze shifting to his mouth as they shaped the syllables of your name. you swallowed thickly, “im sorry-i…” you pulled away, his hand falling free of your shoulder. finnick watched as you exited the training room, your hands balled up into fists as you disappeared through the doorway.
“absolutely not.” you had spent your childhood under the thumb of one man, and you had barely made it out from under snow’s. this was only another way to get you under it once more.
finnick had his head bowed, having listened to snow’s pitch to make the two of you a couple. he needed something to distract the capital citizens from peeta and katniss, who everyone knew, was just a thorn in snow’s side.
“my dear, i really don’t think you have a choice in the matter.” snow’s eyes narrowed at you and you sighed, “what else is there left for you to do? im already being marched to my death, again, just speed the process up. poison me like you do the rest.” you took a good jab at one of the many secrets you had obtained, living in his cage.
snow laughed, “i would’ve done that a long time ago, y/n.”
just as you were beginning to argue again, finnick looked up, eyes catching yours. he held your gaze for a minute, blinking his wet eyes at you. there was something that was telling you that this wasn’t just about you.
finnick.
oh how could you forget finnick.
there was something clearly at stake for him too, otherwise why had he remained silent this entire time?
compliance was something he had to get used to, also under snow’s control.
“okay, fine.” you felt yourself swallow bile, “i’ll do it.” you looked at finnick, your future husband, and the reason why you were even agreeing.
“why did you do it?” his voice cracked, a raw noise as he looked over at you. you had been silent the whole time since leaving the meeting with snow. you shuddered with the strong winds, having been sat out on the stoop of the building, housing all the reaped former victors.
you looked at finnick, having caught his gaze, holding it for a moment, “my entire life i’ve been selfish, and i guess i realized that it isn’t always about putting myself first.” you knew the stories, heard the rumors. snow had barely played with the idea, making you like finnick, but you had always refused. there was nothing left for him to leverage, and so it never went anywhere.
but this, pairing the two of you was nothing short of cruel. finnick who has everything to lose, with you, who he probably didn’t expect to agree.
finnick hitched a breath, understanding what you weren’t saying. “thank you.” he breathed, “and im sorry.”
you stood up suddenly, nodding as you turned towards the entrance, “just-“ you cut yourself off, waving a hand as you continued inside.
he made the announcement. finnick had decided that with the pull he has on the capital, that he would be the one to do it. especially since he was so beloved, the attention from it was to challenge katniss and peeta’s.
you had agreed to play the part, and now you had to act like it.
there was loud cheering and applause from the crowd, and you were pushed out onto the stage, more cheers erupting as finnick stood up to meet you halfway. you kissed his cheek, grabbing his hand tightly as you two fluttered across the stage.
caesar flickerman was already standing there with a bright, capitol smile. “this is your lovely bride. we hear the honeymoon is the arena?” he looked at finnick who tipped his head back for a laugh, but didn’t answer outright.
you gave a soft laugh, “we just loved each other so much, we couldn’t wait.”
caesar looked at you, as if remembering who you were exactly, “wow.” he seemed truly amazed, perhaps even shocked.
finnick noticed the heaviness in the interview and turned his head at caesar, trying to keep the attention on the union rather than the individuals.
he grabbed your hand suddenly, clutching it tightly. as he held it for the rest of the interview, you staring at the faces in the crowd, more love struck than you, you wondered if he was trying to comfort you or himself.
“finnick.” you looked around behind you, only seeing peeta in front of you. the first few days in the arena had been a blur. you had stuck by close with finnick, who made it his mission to stay close to katniss. there was something he wasn’t telling you, but you didn’t once doubt him.
“finnick?” you whipped your head around and couldn’t find him. you were always in front of him, so he could remain in his eye line at all times. except you had failed to make sure he was in yours.
your ears started ringing as the panic set in. you scanned the trees and couldn’t find any sign of him or katniss, realizing this as peeta shared your same panicked look. your throat felt tight as you screamed his name, “finnick!” peeta suddenly took off, feet blazing towards more greenery. you had no choice but to follow, knowing finnick would’ve had you stick with peeta.
as you barely caught up to peeta, you saw him hit the floor as you ran up. whatever he had bounced off of was holding katniss and finnick back.
you looked at finnick, unable to catch his eyes as he looked up frantically. there was something you were missing, there were just bir-
“jabberjays.” peeta groaned out, “they can’t hear us, but they hear our screams.” he swallowed thickly, resting near the force field. katniss was knelt down at the edge, eyes tightly shut. you stared at finnick, at a loss for words. the panic in his face looked so real, you wondered who he was hearing.
you tore your eyes away, watching him suffer was not something you had signed up for. you felt defeated, unable to do anything as you and peeta sat like sitting ducks, waiting this torture out.
you hadn’t talked to him since the jabberjays. peeta had comforted katniss, in any way she’d let him. but they were different, you and finnick were different.
yes, you were married, he was your husband. but the issue was, you hadn’t much time to even begin to share intimate details, let alone have a good conversation. this was what snow wanted, an empty marriage to stir up all the attention.
except you knew your performance was failing. the audience could see right through you.
“hey.” finnick had snuck up on you. you had stayed a few feet away from him and the others, unsure how to handle it all. but it seems like finnick was trying to make it work. but it should be the other way around.
“finnick.” you breathed a sigh of relief unintentionally, hoping he didn’t catch on, you watched as he sat down on the sand beside you. he grabbed your hand, and for a moment you thought it to be genuine, until he raised an eyebrow.
right.
“i’m so sorry.” your voice hitched, and finnick steadied his gaze, “seeing you like that-“ you faked a choked sob, “i just couldn’t do it. i couldn’t look at you and see-“ you cut yourself off, throwing your head in your hands.
snow had to be happy that you were selling yourself off to protect finnick. but beside that heart to heart you had with him in the beginning, you had nothing else to go off of.
“i heard you.” finnick’s voice cracked, “you were screaming, these terrible, horrible screams.” he shook his head, as if he were hearing them all over again, making you realize that he was telling the truth. “and it wouldn’t stop.” he breathed. his breathing got harder and you found yourself kissing him to make him stop. finnick panted into the kiss, as if you had grounded him. you pulled back, catching his eye as you looked away.
your hand that he had been holding gripped his harder. you looked out into the water, watching as it’s dangerous waters moved, unsure on how you would survive this.
with or without him.
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nocreativityfornames · 2 months
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Everything we know about Barbatos so far, lore wise.
WARNING: SPOILERS FOR ALL SEASONS
He lives in the Demon Lord's Castle with Diavolo and works as his loyal butler. (swd: 2-13)
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He's one of the demons who share a pact with Solomon. (swd: 2-A)
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According to Mammon, he has a secret torture room beneath the castle from where you can hear the screaming of his victims at night. The other brothers and Diavolo were in the room when he told this to MC but none of them batted an eye or tried to deny it. (swd: 6-19)
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Before, citizens of the Devildom were allowed to easily travel to the Human World whenever they wished through passages placed in certain locations in the kingdom, but now those passages are blocked and the only way demons can use them is by getting permission from the few other demons who are still allowed to use them freely first. Barbatos is one of said demons. (swd: 11-4)
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He has the ability to time travel thanks to his powers that allow him to create a portal to any place, time and reality he wants. (swd: 15-17 and 53-11 )
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In response to MC asking him if he knew everything that would happen with Belphegor getting out of the attic before it occurred Barbatos said that no, he didn't know, and even further said: "Imagine for a moment what it would be like to know everything that will happen from now until the end of time. Why nothing could possibly be more boring, wouldn't you agree?" (swd: 15-17)
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His main way to use his powers to "space travel" is through the many doors in his room in the Demon Lord's Castle. (swd: 15-17)
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He was never a child. (swd chat: The Royals, “That's What I Mean”)
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He met Solomon a long time ago when the sorcerer risked death to summon him (swd: 53-16), desperately needing his powers to control time for reasons that are still unknown. (swd: 49-A)
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He gave Solomon his grimoire out of trust and respect for him. (swd: 53-16)
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It's a big rumor around the kingdom that he's powerful enough to rival even the Demon King himself. (swd: 54-1)
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He met Diavolo when the prince was still a child and Diavolo got Barbatos to work for him by luring him into the castle with the promise of very rare tea and then telling him that he wouldn't let him leave unless he agreed to be his butler, getting to the point of even threatening to not assume his position of king in the future if the older demon refused to. And telling this story to Thirteen, Barbatos confessed to having found the whole thing very cute. (swd: 58-A and nb: 15-A)
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When it hit the news that he had sworn allegiance to Diavolo the whole kingdom was in shock and it was THE THING everyone was talking about. (swd: 54-1 and nb: 15-1)
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He has been around for a long time and shows up in historical records under multiple different names. Rumor has it he was alive even before the Devildom took shape. (nb: 15-1)
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When asked about Diavolo in a conversation with MC, he told them that the prince is the very reason for his current existence. (swd: 54-5)
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Narrated by Solomon in the Nightbringer Prologue Movie we hear the story of a certain demon, it goes: “Once upon a time, there was a demon who could see both past and future. With a flurry of trumpets from his king, the demon appeared. Finding a lost human the demon whispered: 'I can take you to where you'll be happy.' Through their tears, the human spoke: 'Thank you, o kind one. If you save me from this dark path, I will pray to you every night. Please, tell me what they call you!'" But before any reply can be said Barbatos is shown making a shushing sound, which was largely perceived as him not wanting the viewers to know that he was the demon from the story. Later, the human was revealed to be Adam, a man who came to the Devildom looking for his lover and met a demon named Nightbringer, who he immediately went to begging for help. (nb: 8-16)
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He was the one to give Solomon the title of “the Witty Sorcerer” when he brought him to the Fountain of Knowledge for the first time while Solomon was on the verge of death. Barbatos attended the sorcerer's wounds there and declared him the new protector of the spring. (nb: 11-10)
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He's to blame for how much Solomon has changed, according to Thirteen. The reaper told MC that Solomon used to be very loveably innocent when he was younger, but that Barbatos let him experience whatever he wanted and now nothing scares or fazes him anymore. (nb: 11-10)
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The reason he had been so irritable towards Solomon in the past was because when visiting the sorcerers' home he found a list of demons he wanted to make pacts with and noticed his name was placed 8th. (nb: 25-1)
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Before meeting Diavolo he used to use his powers freely to travel through time and space whenever he wanted without a care for how his actions could affect others, and they ended up terribly affecting Diavolo and Solomon, and Barbatos sees his devout servitude to the prince as a way to atone for those past actions, but Diavolo doesn't know that. (nb card: Barbatos, "Tea With You")
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Although he accepted to work for the prince for the sake of atonement, he ended up enjoying his time with him and found that he felt a sense of belonging working for him. (nb card: Barbatos, "Tea With You")
1K notes · View notes
aikastales · 6 months
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burnout (i)
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↳ synopsis: after his ex-girlfriend broke up with him, jungkook enlists your help by asking and paying you to fake date him. accepting the offer, you get more than what you bargained for when jungkook starts showing his true intentions.
↳ pairing: basketball player!jungkook x student journalist!fem!reader
↳ genres: yandere, heavy angst, dark romance, slow burn
↳ aus: college au, fake dating au
↳ warnings: none for this chapter.
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PART TWO IS OUT NOW.
Why was Jeon Jungkook at the Communications building? 
He had a red and white leather jacket on top of a white shirt, jeans, and his black combat boots. His long hair was a mess, which you guessed was due to his helmet, and when he saw you walking down the steps of the building, he perked up, smiled, and waved at you. 
At first, you weren’t even sure if it was you he was waving at, so you were a bit stunned, and looked over your shoulder. But then, you heard your name called by him. You and Jungkook were not friends. Sure, you exchanged friendly nods at each other whenever your paths would cross, but that was the end of it. In fact, the only reason why you even exchanged those friendly nods was because of Taehyung—your cousin who also happened to be his best friend since preschool. If it wasn’t for him, you and Jungkook would just pass by each other without so much as a glance. 
And so, it was only natural that you were confused and surprised when you saw him leaning against his motorcycle in front of your college’s building, apparently waiting for you. 
“Y/N, hey,” Jungkook greeted with a smile on his handsome face once he was near you. 
Still confused, you returned the smile, adjusting the strap of your backpack hanging over your shoulder. “Hi, Jungkook. Is everything okay?” 
He nodded. “Yeah, everything is—everything’s fine,” he said. Then, he cleared his throat. “Do you have time like right now? My treat.” He asked, his doe eyes piercing into yours. 
You could not believe what you just heard. “What?” Was all you could reply. 
Jungkook chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck with his gloved hand. “I know. It’s a shock, right? Believe me, I am too, but I just really need to talk to you about something. I wouldn’t bother you if it wasn’t so important.” 
“Is it about Taehyung? Is he okay? Did he get into trouble?” You asked, alert. It was the only logical answer why Jungkook waited for you and why he wanted to talk to you. Taehyung was the only person connecting the both of you. 
Jungkook shook his head. “No, no, it’s not about Taehyung, but he’s fine. He’s in his class right now. Look,” he sighed deeply, licking his lower lip with the tip of his tongue before staring at you once more. “Yiseul, I just really need to talk to you. In private.”
You debated whether to go with him or not. This was Jeon Jungkook. Despite his tattoos, broad shoulders, piercings, and big bike—he was harmless. He was your cousin’s best friend, and even though you two weren’t friends, he looked like he needed one at the moment. Besides, you wouldn’t deny that a part of you wasn’t curious as to why he needed to talk to you. That and the fact that because you had been in love with him since you met him when you were thirteen, how could you say no to something that you had only imagined in your wildest dreams? 
“Okay. Okay, let’s go,” you agreed, heart beating rapidly. “Where are we going?” 
Jungkook’s smile widened when you agreed. “There’s a basement cafe twenty minutes from here. It’s called Seven.” 
The both of you began making your way towards his motorcycle. “Just how private is this conversation going to be?” you asked supposedly only for yourself, but accidentally, you said it out loud. 
“I guess you already have an idea on how private it needs to be considering the location,” he chuckled. “But don’t worry—I promise you’ll get home in one piece.” 
Jungkook handed you his extra helmet, and you were thankful that you didn’t wear a dress that day. After placing your backpack in front of your chest, you wore the helmet. “Can you give me a hint on what it’s about?” 
You couldn’t help it. You were curious. 
“I remember you always being curious, Y/N. Glad you haven’t changed at all,” Jungkook said, mounting his motorcycle. “In twenty minutes, you’ll know. If you ride now, you’ll know in fifteen minutes.” 
You thought he looked so attractive as he smiled and waited for you on his motorcycle. His smile was so infectious that you couldn’t help but to return it. “Alright, fine,” you say. Then, you mounted his motorcycle, placing your hands on his firm shoulders. 
“Ready?” Jungkook asked, placing his key into the ignition, briefly glancing at you. 
“Yeah, ready,” you replied. He started the engine and you held onto your backpack for dear life. You had seen Jungkook drive his motorcycle before and the only way you could describe it was fast. 
“Alright. Let’s go.” 
Jungkook drove off. 
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As promised, fifteen minutes later, you arrived at Seven. It was indeed a basement cafe, secluded from the busy city streets and tucked in between fruit stands and ready-to-wear clothes inside an alley. You were the first to get off his motorcycle, taking your helmet off. Shaking your head, you took in your surroundings while Jungkook took his motorcycle garments off. 
The alley was alive with mostly elderly people buying fruits and high schoolers buying the RTWs. The tangerines stood out due to their bright color against the setting sun. You wondered when and how Jungkook came to know the place, if he frequented it, why he chose this place over all other cafes. 
“Y/N? Let’s go inside?” Jungkook asked, gesturing to you to enter the cafe first. 
You nodded, entering Seven. As a basement cafe, the first thing you noticed were the windows placed near the ceiling. A permanent sepia hue covered the entire establishment due to its yellow orange lights. The walls were painted gray, tables and chairs white. There were only a few tables and chairs, and Jungkook led the way to the one at the very back. 
He pulled the chair out of you which you thanked him for, and you sat down. Jungkook followed afterwards, placing the helmets on the table between the both of you. 
“What do you want?” He asked, pulling his chair closer to the table. 
“Honestly, I’m more curious on why you want to talk to me than have any drinks here,” you told him, placing your backpack on the floor beside your chair. 
Jungkook chuckled, leaning his back against his chair. “Alright. Should I just say it?” 
You nodded. 
“I was hoping that you’ll pretend to be my girlfriend to make Haemin jealous,” Jungkook said so casually that you were completely and utterly stunned. Did you just hear him correctly? Upon seeing your reaction, he continued, “She broke up with me a month ago, and to be honest, I saw it coming already. We were getting into a lot of meaningless fights, always finding faults in one another, and just overall, being toxic to each other. So, when she broke up with me, I did not put up a fight, and just let her be,” Jungkook scoffed, shaking his head lightly. “Then, I learned that she was seeing Han Riyeo, that fucking bastard from Yongsan, behind my back for three months, and I want to get back at her.” 
His explanation did not help you grasp what he just said previously. You were still stunned, but you managed to ask, “Why me?” 
“For reasons I still don’t know, Haemin was always jealous of you,” he confessed.
Now, that was a surprise. “What? You and I barely had any interaction.” 
“I know, but I suspect it’s because you’re there whenever I hang out with Taehyung,” Jungkook shrugged his shoulders, then ran his fingers through his hair. “So? Will you help me, Y/N?” 
“This is pretty childish, don’t you think?” you told him, eyebrows furrowed. 
Jungkook crossed his arms over his chest. “I’ll pay you. I know you need the money. Taehyung mentioned you’re saving for the deposit on this apartment you want to rent.” 
You stared at him, trying to find any trace of mischief in his eyes and body language but found none. Jungkook was serious. A part of you knew that the logical answer would be to decline his offer. It was childish, as you had told him. It was a nuisance and it would do nothing but bring problems and complications in your life. Your life was complicated enough, and you didn’t need to add Jeon Jungkook’s fake girlfriend to your list of complications. 
But this was Jeon Jungkook. The person you had been in love with since you were thirteen. The person you supported, cheered on, and loved unconditionally from afar because it was all that you could do. You would be lying if you said that you did not imagine yourself being his girlfriend—going to every game, wearing his jersey, riding his motorcycle, going on dates, taking lots of photos and videos of him, hugging, and even kissing him—because you did, countless times. You would also be lying if you didn’t think that you could love him better than Haemin ever did. 
They said love makes you do crazy things. You didn’t think that applied to you. You loved Jeon Jungkook, and you didn’t think that that love would fade anytime soon. So, even though you knew that this was pretend and paid, you said, “Okay. I’ll do it.” 
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After your orders arrived, the both of you continued your conversation. 
“So, how will this work?” you asked, sipping your iced chocolate drink. 
Jungkook put up a finger, chewing the cheeseburger he ordered, and afterwards, he replied, “We act like a couple. Go on dates, post them on social media, and all that.” 
You were never someone who did things half-assed. If you were going to get paid to fake date someone, you might as well go all out. Also, perhaps, a part of you just wanted to make the most out of being Jeon Jungkook’s fake girlfriend. 
“I don’t think that would be enough to make Haemin jealous. If you really want that, we should do the things you either only did with her or promised to do with her,” you pointed out.
Jungkook nodded. “I see. You got a point.” 
“So, what are those things? The things you did for her and the things you promised to do with her?” 
He inhaled deeply, scratching the side of his nose as he thought. “Well, I pick her up everyday. Take her out on picnic dates, study with her, and I go to her recitals.” 
You nodded. “Okay. Then, you should pick me up everyday, take me out on picnic dates, study with me, and well, I don’t really do any recitals.” 
“Alright. I’ll do that,” Jungkook grinned. “As for the things I promised to do with her—the first thing that popped in my mind was that I promised I’ll take her to my brother’s wedding.” 
“We shouldn’t involve our families in this. Me being Taehyung’s cousin is complicated enough,” you remarked. 
“Okay. How about this? We made plans to go out of town during winter break. Do you wanna do that?” 
“Where?” 
“My sister-in-law runs a small resort in Busan. It’s by the beach,” 
You pressed your lips together, nodding. “Okay. That could work.”
“For my part, you have to go to my games. That’s pretty much all you have to do, and of course, the dates.” 
“That’s already a given,” you told him. “I’m assigned to cover your games this season.” 
“Right. You are the News editor of the Times. I’m honored,” Jungkook placed a hand on his chest, bowing his head at you. 
You chuckled, shaking your head. “I have a question.” 
“Go for it.” 
“What will happen when Haemin gets jealous? Will we “break up” and the two of you will get back together?” you asked, cautiously, but also curiously. 
“I have no plans of getting back together with her,” Jungkook answered. “But when she finally gets jealous and tells me about it, then revenge is served. I guess then we’ll break up. But don’t worry, I’ll pay you handsomely every time so you could move into that apartment of yours. It’s the least I could do after you agreed to do this with me.” 
It shouldn’t have stung the way it did. After all, this was only paid and pretend, but it did. 
“Alright,” you said. “We should shake hands on it.” 
You extended your hand toward him and Jungkook sealed the deal with his firm handshake. “Starting today, you’re my girl, Y/N.” 
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You would be the first to admit that looking after Kim Taehyung was something you did out of debt of gratitude toward his parents. After your father passed away when you were only eleven years old, your mother couldn’t afford to send you to school, so his parents financed your education since then and until now that you were in college. You lived with Taehyung at the condominium they bought for him near the university and since you were on scholarship through your membership at the official student publication of Jamsil University, The Jamsil Times, they only paid for your miscellaneous fees every semester. 
Because of these, you felt like Taehyung was your responsibility. You had to take care of him, look after him, tutor him, make sure he did all his school work, attend his classes, and be there every time he asked you to. It felt like when it came to him and his parents, you couldn’t say no because if you did, you could easily lose your housing and education.
It didn’t help that Taehyung seemed to attract trouble wherever he was. He even gained a nickname for it in high school which followed him in college, “Trouble Taehyung.” You couldn’t remember the times you apologized on his behalf, woke up in the middle of the night from a call from one of his so-called friends asking if you could pick him up as he was drunk and bruised, and ensured none of his troubles reached his parents. 
Tonight was no different. 
You woke up from the sound of your phone vibrating against your desk. You didn’t realize that you had fallen asleep, studying for your upcoming midterms exam, and when you woke up, you could feel the soreness of your neck and lower back. With one eye open, your vision adjusted to the bright light coming from your phone, and saw Park Jimin’s name flashing on your screen. Immediately, you knew why he was calling you. There could only be one reason: Kim Taehyung. 
“Hello?” your voice was hoarse, groggy from your slumber. 
“Y/N? I’m sorry I woke you up, didn’t I? It’s—,” 
“Taehyung, I know. What happened this time?” you sighed deeply, rubbing your face with your free hand. “Where are you guys?” 
“He got into an argument with this guy, and well, it led to a fight. He’s bruised, bleeding, but he refuses to go to a hospital, but—,” 
“Hey! Is that Y/N? I told you not to call her, Park Jimin!” you could hear Taehyung’s voice in the background which made you sigh once more. Moments later, it was Taehyung who was on the call with you. “Y/N, sorry. Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. Jimin’s just a worry wart.” 
“Taehyung,” you were tired and it was evident in your tone. “Go to the hospital if you’re bleeding. It might get infected.” 
“I can’t,” he replied. “Mom is going to find out. It’s a small world, you know that,” his tone was low, cautious, as though he did not want anyone else hearing him. “I’m fine. I’ll put on some ointment and band-aid and I’m good.” 
You wished you didn’t give a shit about him. But you did. Whether it was out of debt of gratitude or not, you wouldn’t be able to sleep if you didn’t help him. Perhaps, you had gotten so used to it that it had become a part of you already, like a hobby, like a memory. 
“Where are you, Taehyung?” 
“Y/N, seriously, I’m—,” 
“Taehyung, just tell me where you are,” your patience was wearing thin and Taehyung knew that. 
“We’re at Jungkook’s apartment,” he muttered. 
Even the mention of his name was enough for the butterflies in your stomach to go crazy. Even by just hearing his name, your irritation seemed to slowly fade away. 
“Okay. I’ll be there in a while. I’m gonna use your car, okay?” 
“Okay. Y/N, I’m sorry,” Taehyung apologized and you could hear his sincerity. 
“Don’t be,” you told him as you stood up from your chair. “See you. I’ll hang up now.” 
Just how deep does blood run? 
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You were at Jungkook’s apartment minutes later, thanks to no traffic and him only living fifteen minutes from Taehyung’s condominium. When you rang the bell to his unit, you already expected that he would be the one to answer the door. You just didn’t expect that he would be wearing gray sweatpants and a white loose muscle tee showing off his toned tattooed arm. Seeing him in that light, you couldn’t help but feel more attracted to him. Jungkook was truly a sight to see. 
“Hey,” he greeted you with a smile. “Come inside.” 
“Thanks,” you told him, entering his apartment. It was simple, neat, and smelled of vanilla. You took off your shoes by the doorway, placing a hand on the wall beside you. “Where’s Taehyung?” 
“Kitchen,” he replied behind you. “Y/N,” his hot breath fanned over your exposed neck, making you shiver. “I’ll linger around you, alright? That way, they could get a hint that something’s going on with us. Is that okay?” he whispered. 
His low tone was simply mesmerizing. “Okay,” you breathed out. Thank god you had your hand on that wall otherwise you would have literally fallen. 
“Okay,” he chuckled, and led the way to the kitchen. 
“Y/N!” Taehyung exclaimed when he saw you. He was sitting on one of the stools in the kitchen island while Jimin looked through the refrigerator. 
You gave him a tight-lipped smile and made your way toward him, placing the plastic bag you hand in your hand on the counter beside you. Taehyung jumped off the stool he was sitting on, instantly giving you a squeezing hug. He was always an affectionate boy growing up. You weren’t so you found it uncomfortable at first. But the more Taehyung did it, you got used to it. 
“Let me see your bruise,” you guided him back to the stool, and began taking out the first aid you bought along the way. The bruise wasn’t as serious as you thought it would be. You were expecting that he would have a black eye, a deep cut that would need stitches, but it was manageable by you. Jimin was overreacting, you concluded. “What happened? How did you get this?” 
As you began to clean the cut on Taehyung’s cheek, Jimin sat down across from your cousin while Jungkook made his way near you. 
“One minute I was dancing next to some girl, the next, her boyfriend landed a punch on my face. I didn’t know she had a boyfriend—she told me she was single,” Taehyung explained. 
“Didn’t know my ass,” Jimin scoffed. “Everyone knows Heejin is with Taemin. Everyone also knows that Taemin’s a crazy jealous bastard. You were just looking for trouble, as always.” 
“I was not,” your cousin retorted, throwing the medical tape you bought at his friend. 
You clicked your tongue in annoyance. “Stop it, you two,” you hissed, pressing the cotton ball a bit harder against Taehyung’s bruise. He winced. “Is that true?” you asked him. 
Taehyung didn’t answer. You sighed. 
“You knew it was wrong, and yet, you did it anyway knowing it’ll just get you in trouble,” you muttered. “Why did you do it?” 
Taehyung sighed deeply. “Because Taemin’s a piece of shit.” 
“You’re also a piece of shit,” Jimin snorted. “Both of you are the biggest pieces of shit at Jamsil.” 
“Do you wanna get punched?” 
“Let’s go right now,” 
“Hey, stop it. You’re so fucking loud,” Jungkook reprimands the two bickering men. “You already woke me up from my sleep by going here. Don’t wake up the entire fucking building.” 
Moments later, you finished tending to Taehyung’s cut. “All done. Come on, let’s go home.” 
Taehyun didn’t protest. You began to clean up your mess, placing everything back into the plastic bag. Silence filled Jungkook’s kitchen. The three of you weren’t close so there were no conversations where all of you could participate. 
“Let’s go,” you bowed your head at Jimin as a farewell which he returned. Then, your eye caught Jungkook’s gaze. You weren’t sure what to do. Fortunately, Jungkook was quick-witted. 
“I’ll walk you guys out,” he said coolly, pushing himself off of the sink he was leaning against. 
“No need. Just go back to sleep. Thanks for letting us in,” Taehyung shook his head, patting his best friend’s shoulder as he passed by him. 
“I insist,” Jungkook responded. 
“Can I stay here tonight?” Jimin asked Jungkook as he made his way out of the kitchen. 
“Yeah sure,” 
You followed Jungkook and Taehyung out of the former’s apartment. As you and your cousin slipped on your shoes, Jungkook waited outside his apartment. 
“Are you mad at me?” Taehyung asked, meeting your gaze. “I’m sorry, Y/N.” 
“I’m not mad at you,” you assured him. “But you have to stop involving and getting yourself into trouble, Tae. Sooner or later, you’ll end up getting really hurt.” 
“I will, I promise,” he smiled at you and you nodded, exiting the apartment. 
The three of you walked down the hallway; the two boys walking on your sides. You weren’t sure if Jungkook was consciously doing it, but it was making your heart pound. Whenever your fingers brushed against his, there was an electric shock that flew through your body. And as you reached the end of the hallway and in front of the elevator, and when the doors opened, Jungkook placed his hand at your lower back, gesturing you to enter the lift first. 
You looked at him, and there was a knowing smile plastered on his face that made you blush. “After you,” he said. 
You were fucking lovestruck. 
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Championships cast a spell in your school. Jamsil University’s premier sport was basketball and with an all-star lineup this year—it was not even up for discussion that your university would be one of the teams playing out to become this year’s champions.
To say the least, sports were not your thing. While you understood the basics, it wasn’t something you were interested in. Your father had enrolled you in a tennis class once but after witnessing how, simply out, awful you are at the sports, he dropped the ‘I want my daughter to be athletic’ narrative he was going for. That being said, you rarely attended any of the games Jamsil athletes participated in. But seeing as you were assigned to cover the basketball games this season, you had no other choice. Besides, your “boyfriend” was playing. 
That’s how you found yourself at the gym of Jamsil, stressed as you took pictures and typed down the game on your phone. Frustrated, you sat on the bench behind you as the bell rang, signaling the end of the first half. As you read the draft on your notepad, you shook your head at the numerous times you used the word ‘tackle’—in your defense, it was all that you could see during the game. It was a particularly brutal game which made you wonder, was the game something more personal for the players? You only heard rumors, after all.
With a sigh, you made a mental note to fix the notes once you’re home. Standing up, you placed the phone inside your jeans’ back pocket and readied the Times’ camera to capture the ‘Half-time huddle’ that Bang Chan, the Sports Editor, had specifically asked you to take. As you made your way towards the basketball team, you took some shots of the audience as well as the Jamsil’s Cheerleading Team performing in the middle of the court. The blaring music and loud cheers from both schools as the cheerleaders performed filled the entire gymnasium, unconsciously making you smile. It was not everyday that you saw some sort of unity at your uni.
You focused your camera on the huddled team of Jamsil but dissatisfied, you tried another angle. Bang Chan’s words play in your mind: “The half-time huddle is one of the most important shots during these games, Y/N. The play they’re setting up will either make them or break them. Make sure you capture it.”
Then, the idea hit you. You hurriedly made your way on the other side of the team, hearing Coach Song’s booming voice telling his players the game even with all the screaming and cheers. You moved the towels and water bottles on the bench aside, then you stepped on it and placed the camera above the huddled team. Smiling, you knew you found the perfect angle. Making sure that the camera was focused, you inhaled deeply and as you were about to click the shutter button—a face turned to face the lens and a gasp escaped your lips, shocked and you felt yourself losing balance. Bracing for impact, you clutched the camera tightly against your chest and closed your eyes with one thing in mind: If this breaks, I am so screwed.
It felt like eternity as you waited for the impact. Opening your eyes, you see a pair of round brown eyes, staring at you in concern, eyebrows furrowed. Your breath hitched in your throat as realization hit you. Around your waist, you felt strong arms supporting you; hot breath fanned your face and you felt something liquid dripping on your forehead.
“Y/N, are you okay?” When he spoke, you immediately snapped back to reality and you wriggled yourself out of his grip—flustered and ground-swallow-me-up embarrassed. Your cheeks were burning as you collected yourself. “Y/N?”
It was as if the entire gymnasium had their focus on you and Jungkook. 
“Jeon, what the fuck, get back here,” Coach Song hissed.
Fuck me, you thought as you cleared your throat. “Thanks,” you whispered to him. 
Jungkook smiled—the boyishly charming smile that made you fall in love with him all those years ago. Then, he did something that made you fall in love with him all over again. 
“Wish me luck, babe,” Jungkook said before wrapping his tattooed arm around your waist and placing a kiss on your cheek. “The game’s on, Y/N. No turning back now.” 
You wished this was real. His kiss was real. But even if it wasn’t, indeed, there was no turning back now. The game had begun. 
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↳ author’s note: once again, thank you to everyone to who has liked, reblogged, and followed me to join the ride which is burnout. i forgot to add in the preview that this is going to be a slow burn yandere (the best kind of yandere in my humble opinion). feedbacks are highly appreciated! thank you <;3
↳ taglist: @looneybleus
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2K notes · View notes
bnnyskirt · 4 months
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please, give me any requests of what you’d like me to write or any concepts <3 I’ll take any and all ideas with the fandoms tagged below !
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httpsuniverse · 8 months
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right where you left lover girl [ charles leclerc , ben chilwell ]
[ 𝗣𝗔𝗜𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗦 ] — charles leclerc x singer!ex!reader ; ben chilwell x singer!reader . ⊹ ✶ ㄔ 🫂 °.   *
[ 𝗗𝗘𝗧𝗔𝗜𝗟𝗦 & 𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦 ] — mostly angst, some romance . ⊹ ✶ ㄔ ℹ️ °.   *
࣪˖ 💭 .. 𝗘𝗬𝗔’𝗦 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘𝗦 ⌕ clearing my drafts again 😵‍💫 if you ask me, i’m obsessed with singer!reader fics lol
this work is purely fictional. names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. © httpsuniverse, 2023. do not steal, repost in other platforms, translate and/or claim this work as your own.
cleclercsource
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cleclercsource double date in wimbledon 🎾 charles, alex, kika and pierre spotted in today’s game!
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user alex looks so pretty and i know she’s nice because i met her once, but i miss y/n ☹️
user :(( i do too, but it’s just not meant to be. they both want different things and are in different places in the relationship
user damn why did THAT hurt
user no offense/hate towards alex but the fact that y/n and charles have been together since they were thirteen just...pains me and i’m not even part of their relationship
user me too!! 😭 they literally went through ups and downs together and saw their careers go big :(
user yeah but i hate to break it to you guys but it’s been two years since they broke up and charles being in a new relationship is okay, they’re both adults! i mean, you guys know that eventually they’ll meet somebody, no?
user what pains me the most is that y/n hasn’t released anything since she and charles broke hp 😣💔 i miss my girl
user they look like mean girls
user i would be scared to walk past them
user love how alex is just happy to be there hahaha she’s so cute
yourusername
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liked by yourlabel, sabrinacarpenter, selenagomez and 3,286,048 others
yourusername oh hi hello 👋🏻 i know it’s been a while since i’ve last released music and contributed to the industry, and i see everyone’s tweets saying how much they miss me and guess what? i missed you guys too, so here’s a little something for being so patient with me🤎 this song is very personal and important to me and i hope you’ll love it just how i loved writing it. right where you left me is now available to all streaming platforms 🎶
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sabrinacarpenter 🫶 masterpiece
selenagomez proud of you✨😍
user omg y/n!!!
user the queen is back :( welcome back y/n!!
user streaming right NOW
user you cant do this to me y/n y/l/n!!!!!!!
user just got out of a 4-year relationship today, thanks for the masterpiece maam <3
yourusername 🤎 wish you all the best with healing
user OMG
user thanks y/n, now i do have a reason to cry today 😍
yourusername stopp bahahaha enjoyyy
prodbymika
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250,297 likes
prodbymika glad to have produced another song and film a music video with my bestie 🫶 here’s some behind the scenes of y/n during recording and filming the music video of right where you left me <3
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yourusername mika my love!!! ☹️🤎 thank youu couldn’t have done it without youuuu 🫶
user wait that place on the 3rd photo is familiar
user it’s charles and y/n’s place from their 24 hour with vogue video 😭
user omfg that’s probably why it’s titled right where you left me 😭
user the 😭 restaurant 😭 she 😭 and 😭 charles 😭 loved 😭
user fuck me im trying to move on 😭
user y/n wearing the same clothes she would wear during date nights with charles 💔☹️
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yourprivate
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yourprivate i know eventually it will lead to one of us meeting someone new. i hope she’ll love you the way that i did, more than how i loved you, charles. and i can’t believe that it’s been two years since we broke up. in my mind i’m still 23, living in my own delusion that one day you’ll come back to me. i loved you, charles_leclerc. and i still do. i really meant it when i said i wish you both the best. now, it’s time for me to move on and leave the place where you left me.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ─────────────────
yourusername
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1,926,472 likes
yourusername me doing big girl things 😄 bye bye monaco 🇲🇨, hello london 🇬🇧 ready to make new memories, new songs and of course, new apartment tour video soon :p
view all 1,827 comments
user omggggggg the chances of me running to you are HIGHHHHH
yourusername see you aroundddd <3
user AAAAAAA
user omg omg omg she’s finally out of her delusions, we’re officially over right were you left me era !!!!!!
user she finally let go of the house she and charles shared 😭
user no bc imagine the adjustment!! she lived there even when she and charles broke up :(
user my girl can finally FINALLY breathe
benchilwell
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liked by masonmount, reecejames, judebellingham and others
benchilwell you’re my, my, my, my lover 🩷
view all 23,816 comments
jackgrealish mate, that’s so cheesy 😂
reecejames i know something you don’t 🤧
masonmount i know something you will never know 😂
user NAHHHH QUIT PLAYING WITH US
user NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
user cong😭ratu😭lations😭
user now who is the lucky woman 🤔
user wait is that y/n
user what the hell
user i think soo!!!!
user STOP IM GONNA FUCKING CRY RN
yourusername
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liked by cmpulisic, reecejames, masonmount, benchilwell and others
yourusername guys meet my london boy 🩷
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benchilwell i told you not to post that picture of me
yourusername 😵‍💫 but you looked so cute and you helped me compose a song
masonmount he did? 😨
yourusername took us a while, but yep 🫡
user im so happy for you y/n!!!!
— ❤️ by yourusername
user why is y/n, a person who loves chinese food, dating a man who hasn’t eaten chinese food
yourusername don’t worry, i bought chinese the other day. he’s no longer chinese food virgin. i took his virginity.
benchilwell y/n y/l/n.
yourusername 😚 you liked it though
benchilwell okay fine yeah
user why do i feel like a new album will come out ...
yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, benchilwell, prodbymika and 4,836,917 others
yourusername suprise (well... not so surprise haha) !! been working on this album the past year and it’s finally here and i can’t wait to share it with you guys so HERE YA GO 🩷😚 the whole album is dedicated to, of course, my lover, my benji, benchilwell i love youuuu and this album is my love letter to you (you spoiled the lyrics on your previous post 🙄 but its ok i forgive u now pls come back faster bc i miss u) enjoy everyone ! lover girl, y/n 🩷✨
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benchilwell i love you angel 🩷
yourusername stopp im shy i miss you
benchilwell 😂 im coming over
user y/n in her lover era 🥹 happy for her, she deserves this!
user she really does 🥹
user STOPPP THIS WJOLE ALBUM IS JUST Y/N AND BEN BEING IN LOVENWITH EACH OTHER
user “all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing” BENJAMIN JAMES CHILWELL YOU ONE LUCKY MF
user y/n is SO in love i’m here for it
charles_leclerc congratulations on another amazing album, y/n!
yourusername thank you charles! 🫶
user HEY WHAT IS MR. RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT ME DOING HERE
user ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE
yourusername we’re still friends guys, chill 😂
sabrinacarpenter YOU ARE AMAZING, Y/N
yourusername SAAAABBBB i love you ,, you are amazing
user from right where you left me to paper rings 🥺 THE GLOW UP
3K notes · View notes
harunayuuka2060 · 5 months
Text
Michael: Raphael, I've been noticing that you've become a frequent visitor of this doll.
Raphael: I'm not visiting it.
Michael: *smiles, doubting his statement*
Michael: Did something happen?
Raphael: ...
Raphael: No. Nothing happened.
Michael: That's good to know. For a second, I thought this doll gained its own consciousness.
Michael: Personally, I wouldn't mind if there's another MC that will exist in Celestial Realm.
Raphael: ...
Raphael: Anyway, Simeon is keeping them?
Michael: Yes. Ah, they're still on guard though. So you must be careful not to alert Simeon.
Raphael: I understand.
Michael: *stood up and headed towards the door* I'll be going somewhere. Would you mind keeping my doll a company?
Raphael: ...
Raphael: Yes, of course.
Michael: *chuckles, then left*
Raphael: ...
MC's doll: I've never imagined that angels could lie.
Raphael: I didn't lie.
MC's doll: You did just now.
Raphael: ...
Raphael: You seem to not be afraid. I have you know that I can easily destroy you.
MC's doll: *chuckles* No one's stopping you, Raphael. After all, I am merely a doll for Michael's amusement.
Raphael: ...
MC's doll: Why are you hesitating? Ah, wait. I know the answer to that.
MC's doll: You have fallen for that human too.
Diavolo: Barbatos...
Barbatos: ...
Diavolo: There's no point in keeping your silence. We've already found it.
Barbatos: ...
Barbatos: Even so, young master, you will never be able to dig them up. I made sure of that.
Diavolo: ...
Diavolo: I know. However, you're wrong to underestimate us.
Barbatos: *his eyes widened*
Diavolo: *holding a grimoire* You shouldn't have left this unattended.
Barbatos: Young master... That is-
Diavolo: MC's. Yes. For a human to have a grimoire, it was quite a surprise.
Barbatos: Young master!
Diavolo: MC doesn't have to be a human. If they become a demon like the rest of us, they will no longer have a reason to be in despair.
Simeon: MC? What's wrong? You look pale...
MC: ...
MC: *smiles at him* I am fine.
Simeon: ...
Simeon: Please be honest. Is there something bothering you?
MC: ...
MC: Yes.
MC: ...
MC: They're not stopping, Simeon.
Simeon: ...
Simeon: *hugs them* You'll get through this. I promise.
MC: If only there's a way to see Thirteen. I need to see her.
Simeon: ...
Simeon: I will visit her and inform her about the situation.
MC: Simeon-
Simeon: I won't be in trouble. Thirteen is neither an angel nor a demon. Therefore she's not an enemy of Celestial Realm.
MC: ...
MC: Please be careful.
Simeon: Thank you. And here's a blessing to protect you while I'm away. *kisses their forehead*
MC: *smiles*
Michael: What do you say, Luke?
Luke: I-I don't know, Michael... Isn't it too soon for me to climb the ranks?
Michael: Of course not. You have been so diligent, Luke.
Luke: ...
Michael: If you become a dominion, you will be able to help your dearest friend.
Luke: !!!
Luke: What... What do I need to do to become a dominion?!
Michael: *smiles*
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Text
Love the Way You Lie (M)
This is the real part five to the Pathetic series
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Summary:
After finding out that Jeonghan has been lying y/n is thrown into a state of emotional turmoil. All the while, Jeonghan's actions leave her more and more confused by the day.
Warning: Y/n is objectified a bit in a not-so-cute way by two people who aren't Jeonghan. Nothing really happens but just be warned.
Tags: 15k words, dub con for safety reasons, Porn with Plot, frat boy!Jeonghan, college student!y/n, best friend!Jeongyeon, soft!dom to hard!dom Jeonghan, mean!Jeonghan (and y/n loves it), submissive!y/n, female!y/n (sorry gender-neutral friends), heavy degradation, a lot of impact play in this one, masochist!y/n, sadist!Jeonghan, skull fucking, creampie, little bit of exhibitionism, little bit of cumplay, Jeonghan regains his aftercare crown
-
Part Five:
It turned out you were right. Thirteen boys couldn’t lie to you. Just one. You went to each and every boy in Alpha Mu. Random questions about random nights, and you realized that there was no reason for them to lie to you about this. They knew Jeonghan better than anyone other than you assumed his own family.
If Jeonghan was sleeping with other people and was willing to tell you about it than the others would know that. What they wouldn’t know was that Jeonghan would lie to you about sleeping with other people because that would be crazy.
You didn’t get it.
Why did he think that you would care about him sleeping with other people? You two weren’t exclusive. He had made that abundantly clear, and you had made it abundantly clear that you didn’t mind your arrangement.
You stared at your black television screen; your legs crossed on your couch. Your lips were pursed in thought but no matter how long you sat there it didn’t make any sense. Who the fuck would lie about that?
Thirty minutes into your silent pondering the front door opened. You didn’t look over, but you didn’t have to. Moments after the door closed you felt someone join you on the couch.
You and Jeongyeon were silent for a while.
“I...” Jeongyeon finally broke the silence. “I talked to Jimin.”
Your eyes widened and you looked over at her.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Jeongyeon replied. For a scary moment she was silent, just staring at the television like you had before. Then the smallest hint of a smile crossed her lips. “We’re going on a date. A proper date!”
Jeongyeon squealed, covering her face with her hand.
“I literally can’t believe it!” She exclaimed. “I mean... After all these years, I never thought...”
She trailed off shaking her head.
“You know, it was killing me not to tell you about how I was beginning to feel about Jimin. When I realized that I was looking forward to waking up next to him-”
“I could tell you wanted a relationship,” you agreed softly. “But with Jimin? I’d never imagined it.”
“He’s so nice y/n. It started off slowly, at first it was disgruntled kicking me out, both of us completely disgusted by what we had just done but as it kept happening... I looked forward to it. He started being nicer, gentler... I was happy to wake up next to him.”
You were happy for Jeongyeon- You really were, but as she was talking you were beginning to realize something. Your eyebrows furrowed uncertainly, and Jeongyeon seemed to notice. She frowned.
“What’s wrong?” She asked. Your eyes trailed down to your lap.
“I’m just... Confused.”
Jeongyeon reached forward, her hands taking yours.
“What about?” She prodded.
“Jeonghan.... Lied to me about sleeping with other girls.”
Pity crossed Jeongyeon’s eyes, and she squeezed your hands.
“Hey, look he isn’t worth shit if he’s going to cheat on you.”
“That’s the thing!” You emphasized. “We agreed that he could sleep with other people, remember? That never changed between us. I don’t care if he sleeps with other people. We’re fuck buddies! That’s what fuck buddies do when they aren’t exclusive.”
“Then why did he feel the need to lie to you?” Jeongyeon asked, her confusion matching your own.
“You don’t even understand yet- He didn’t lie telling me he wasn’t sleeping with other girls. He lied telling me he was sleeping with other girls.”
Jeongyeon pulled her hands away from yours, her mouth slightly ajar and her eyebrows scrunched together.
“What?” She blurted out.
“See, Yeongtae and I were talking, and he pointed out that Jeonghan is really possessive of me. Which I had noticed, and you know...”
“Hot,” Jeongyeon agreed. “That’s part of why I fell for Jimin. Another guy was flirting with me at a party and... Well...”
You nodded.
“Right, so he pointed out that he’s possessive but I kinda just thought it was a bit. Foreplay.” You paused. “And hatred for Yeongtae, of course.”
“Of course,” Jeongyeon agreed.
“But the longer I think about it. We don’t really act like fuck buddies.”
“How do you mean?” Jeongyeon asked.
“Like... I stay and eat breakfast with him, and the other Alpha Mu boys and he always makes sure I stay the night. Gives me better aftercare than anyone I’ve ever been with before. I helped him build a lego set the other day. That’s just. Friend behavior.”
“Friends with benefits behavior,” Jeongyeon pipped up. “But non-exclusive friends with benefits.”
“Right. Except that now I come to find out we are exclusive.”
You shook your head.
“Soonyoung told me that Jeonghan hasn’t slept with anyone since the second time that we fucked.”
“You don’t think... That he has feelings for you, do you?”
“I didn’t!” You insisted. “But now...?”
“The man who doesn’t sleep with anyone twice,” Jeongyeon said, her voice airy. “I mean if he actually is into you. What are you going to do about it?”
“I don’t know!” You replied. “I mean... He’s Yoon Jeonghan.”
“Yeah...” Jeongyeon agreed, a small cocky smile crossing her lips. “But he’s Yoon Jeonghan. Everyone is practically begging to date him. And if he’s willing to settle down for you? You’d be dumb not too.”
“You think?” You asked, your eyes looking away from her.
“Yeah,” she agreed. “And he’s really nice to you. He clearly cares for you in a way. Even if it isn’t actually those feelings yet.”
“This is stupid,” you said, immediately waving away the thought. “Now, I can’t explain Jeonghan’s behavior but there’s no way that he actually likes me.” You needed a conversation change. “Let’s focus on what we do know. You and Jimin!”
The smile grew back on Jeongyeon’s face.
“I hope that you can skip your morning class tomorrow because I could talk about this all night!” She exclaimed excitedly.
A smile cracked across your face.
“I’m looking forward to it.”
-
“No y/n today?”
Jeonghan glanced up from his phone while he walked into the kitchen, finding only Seungcheol standing there, leaning against the counter.
“Hm? No.”
“Weird. She hasn’t been over in a few days. Have you been seeing her?”
“She’s busy,” Jeonghan replied. “Studying with Yeongtae.”
A small crack echoed through the small room. Both Jeonghan and Seungcheol looked at the now broken wooden chopstick in Jeonghan’s hand. He cleared his throat, setting the pieces on the table.
“Besides, we don’t need to hang out all the time. That’s not really what our relationship is.”
“Right,” Seungcheol said. He let silence fall between the two for a little bit and then: “You know, y/n called me the other night.”
Jeonghan perked up at the information, but it wasn’t in excitement.
“What? Why?”
“She asked me about what girls you were sleeping with.”
Jeonghan looked away from Seungcheol, cursing under his breath and burying his face in his hands.
“Fuck, why would she-” He groaned loudly. “And let me guess-”
“Why does she think that you are fucking other people? Aren’t you exclusive?”
“Technically, it’s one-sided. She’s made it very clear that she had agreed to not sleep with other people, but I was free to.”
Seungcheol’s confusion didn’t have to be outwardly expressed. Jeonghan could feel it.
“Who would-” He shook his head. “I’ve got to stop questioning the things that y/n lets you do to her. Just... So why would she care if you were sleeping with other people if she agreed to those terms?”
“Maybe because...” Jeonghan cleared his throat uncertainly, risking a look at his friend. “Perhaps I told her I was sleeping with other people.”
Seungcheol gave Jeonghan a blank stare.
“But you’re not.”
Jeonghan nodded.
“But I’m not.”
Seungcheol stared at Jeonghan silently, and then, after a few moments turned away from him, placing both of his hands on the kitchen counter and sighing heavily.
He began to mutter under his breath, but it wasn’t quiet enough for Jeonghan not to make out the: “How am I the one that is single in this house? I’m the only one with fucking-”
Seungcheol turned back around, forcing a smile on his lips.
“Why would you lie to y/n and tell her that you are sleeping with other people?”
Jeonghan’s eyebrows furrowed.
“Why does it matter?” Jeonghan demanded. “I’m allowed to lie to her if I want to. It’s a harmless lie.”
“It’s still a lie.”
Jeonghan exhaled loudly out of his nose.
“What does it matter?”
“Jeonghan, where do you see this thing with y/n going?”
“That’s a stupid question,” Jeonghan said.
Seungcheol walked over to the table, pulling out the chair next to Jeonghan and sitting in it. He fixed Jeonghan under a stern gaze.
“Do you like y/n?”
Jeonghan scoffed at first, his eyes turning away from Seungcheol.
“Do I like y/n? Jesus Seungcheol, do you know me at all?” He looked back at Seungcheol. “I’m Yoon Jeonghan.”
“Yeah,” Seungcheol agreed. “Yoon Jeonghan who fucks everything that walks and unabashedly kicks them out every morning. Yoon Jeonghan who does not fuck anyone twice- Hell you barely interact with the people you’ve fucked before.”
Before Jeonghan could say anything Seungcheol continued:
“And then you sleep with y/n. You sleep with... What? Two girls after her and then it’s back to her. You’re so bipolar about this! The first night you slept with her you were definitely open to fucking her again, and then you got all aloof and then you slept with her a second time and all of a sudden you are saying we should get used to her-”
“That’s-”
“I’m not finished,” Seungcheol interrupted. “Don’t even get me started on your borderline obsession with Yeongtae. You think I don’t notice you asking about him to anyone who will listen? Your phone is open to his instragram page right now!”
“He’s a weird guy!��� Jeonghan protested.
“You are jealous,” Seungcheol said. “You are jealous, and you miss her when she doesn’t come to parties, and you even let her mess with legos with you. You practically beg her to stay every morning.”
“What are you trying to say?” Jeonghan asked angrily, not afraid to express that this conversation was not one he wanted to be a part of. Seungcheol, however, was not fazed by his murderous tone.
“Just admit it!” Seungcheol replied. “I don’t have to tell you your feelings. You know what I’m trying to say.”
“I have nothing to admit.” The two of them were screaming at one another now. The top of their lungs, neither of them backing down.
“If y/n were to call you right now and tell you she was dating Yeongtae and wanted to cut things off, what would you do?”
“Nothing! We aren’t dating. She’s allowed to do what she wants. If she wants to date Yeongtae she can.”
“Liar.”
“I’m not lying!”
“You love y/n,” Seungcheol accused. “You love her and that’s why you hate when she hangs out with Yeongtae because while you two connect on a sexual level you are worried that you two won’t connect on a personal level, and Yeongtae and her do and you think that she’s going to leave you for him.”
“Shut up.”
“And if you keep this up? She will leave you,” Seungcheol said. “Are you really going to just let her slip away?”
“She’s not going to slip away!” Jeonghan hissed, slamming his hands down on the table. “You want the truth? Yes, I fucking love her. And I am jealous of her and Yeongtae. Why doesn’t she spend that time with me? I practically have to force her to have breakfast with us every day! She always has something else to do. I’m fucking Yoon Jeonghan why doesn’t she want me?”
Silence fell between the two, both of their chests heaving. They both stared at each other. Seungcheol looking pleased but also distressed for Jeonghan. As the two stood there, someone cleared their throat. Both boys turned to see that Seokmin was walking into the kitchen.
“What was that?” Seokmin asked. “Oh, yeah, my favorite way to wake up in the morning is to you two screaming about Jeonghan’s obvious feelings for y/n.”
Jeonghan rolled his eyes, and briskly scooted back his chair back, the sound screeching throughout the house.
“Fuck off.”
Jeonghan stormed out of the kitchen, brushing past Minghao as he walked.
“Good morning to you too,” he said softly.
Jeonghan completely ignored him.
“I’m going to get some air.”
And just like that, he stormed out of the house.
-
You were startled away from your homework by a sudden knock at your door. Your eyebrows furrowed and you glanced at your phone. It was early. Jeongyeon was at class. You weren’t expecting Yeongtae today.
You cracked open your door, and standing in the hall, red in the face and breathless was Jeonghan. Your eyes widened.
“Jeonghan-”
“Did you even check before opening the door? Anyone could have been out here.”
“I-”
Jeonghan raised his hand in front of your face.
“I’m not going to lie to you right now: I am fucking furious,” Jeonghan said. “I know it’s early, and we haven’t seen each other in a few days but this is your first chance to back out. What is our safe word?”
You were surprised but... Always down to be fucked by Jeonghan. You were quick to say your safe word, taking a step back into the room and pushing the door slightly open for Jeonghan. His jaw clenched at the clear invitation.
“If I come into that apartment-”
“Do whatever you want to,” you replied. You pushed aside the uncertainty in the pit of your stomach, completely ignoring the part of you that was desperate to know why Jeonghan had lied to you about sleeping with other girls. “I’m yours.”
Jeonghan was in the room with the door closed behind him in a blink of an eye. He locked the door and began to rip his shirt off of his body. You were momentarily distracted... God, Jeonghan was like a walking fucking Adonis but you were snapped back to reality by Jeonghan saying: “Don’t just fucking stand there. Get your clothes off.”
You quickly locked the door behind you and began to strip yourself of your clothes but you weren’t fast enough. Jeonghan pushed you roughly against the wall and dragged your shirt off of you. As soon as it was tossed aside his lips were pressed to yours.
Jeonghan’s hands were quick to unfasten your bra, and you let it fall off of your shoulders and onto the ground between you two. Jeonghan pulled away from you, narrowing his eyes at you.
“You remembered what I told you? That day in the bathroom?” He asked. You didn’t need him to elaborate.
“You said you’d remind me of how depraved I was,” you replied breathlessly. Jeonghan’s lips flickered into a smile.
“That’s one thing about you,” he murmured. “You are a good listener.”
He stepped away from you and as he walked back his eyes trailed over your body. You swallowed hard.
“Crawl,” Jeonghan said. It snapped your attention back to Jeonghan, your eyelids fluttering.
“What?”
“I said to crawl,” Jeonghan repeated. Your mouth fell open and you quickly dropped down to your hands and knees. Your face blazed in embarrassment as you began to crawl towards Jeonghan but it just made Jeonghan laugh, his head tilting to the side in what seemed to be adoration. “So good for me.”
When you got to his feet, he kneeled down in front of you, placing a single finger to your forehead.
“Have you been good recently?” He asked you. It felt like a trick question, and you had no clue what the answer was.
“… Yes?”
He slapped you, making you gasp in surprise. He stood up and began to walk backwards again.
“Crawl.”
You did as you were told, and as you followed him, he started to talk again.
“You haven’t been good recently. You know why?”
You shook your head quickly. He scoffed.
“Because I had to fuck you twice in two separate bathrooms,” Jeonghan replied, his voice sharp. “You haven’t been over, you haven’t invited me over and I had to settle for fucking you in bathrooms.”
He turned around.
“Where’s your room?” He asked. You cleared your throat.
“It’s uh, the last door on the right.”
Without another word Jeonghan walked down the hallway, disappearing into your room. You stayed there for a second, on your hands and knees, wondering what he wanted you to do. You decided to just keep crawling.
That ended up being the right decision. When you got to your room Jeonghan was sitting on your bed, his legs spread and his head rested on his arm. He looked annoyed.
“Taking your fucking time, aren’t you?” He mumbled.
“Sorry,” you murmured. You crawled all the way up to him, settling yourself between his legs. Once you had sat back on your feet Jeonghan’s hand was on your chin.
“Open your mouth,” he said. You opened it and he suddenly stuck two of his fingers in your mouth. Surprised by the action you gagged, your head dropping forward. Jeonghan chided you softly.
“If you can’t even handle my fingers, how could you possibly handle my cock?” he asked you, his voice high and mocking. Your eyes widened at the tone, his words going straight to your core.
“I can handle-“ You were interrupted by a slap, and this time Jeonghan grabbed your chin with it. He looked at you with hooded eyes.
“I didn’t say you could talk now did I?” He asked. You shook your head obediently. His lips curled up into a smile. “There’s my good girl.”
He turned his eyes away from yours as he went to rummage through his things. You frowned, unsure of what he was doing, but you were glad he looked away because your face was burning red at the compliment.
It was ridiculous how much a tiny bit of praise could really send you over the top when it came from Jeonghan.
“I want to propose something,” Jeonghan said. Your eyes darted to where he had just grabbed something. He flashed a camera at you.
“How do you feel about being a star?”
Realization flooded your body as you realized what he was asking. Your mind raced to come up with an answer. This wouldn’t be the most public thing that you would be letting Jeonghan do, but it would be the most permanent thing you let him do.
You had never before let a fling take a video of you or a picture of you in any intimate way. At least, not since you were able to make rational decisions and remembered that you really had to trust someone before sending them those kinds of pictures of yourself.
Your hesitance wasn’t missed in Jeonghan. He nodded and started to put his phone away.
“That’s okay you don’t need to-” You reached out suddenly, grabbing his wrist. His eyes widened slightly at the sudden touch. You quickly searched his eyes, your mind running fast to figure out what you wanted to say.
“No, I just had to think about it for a second,” you replied. “I trust you. Go ahead.”
You let go of his wrist.
“Why do you want it anyway?” You asked, your tone lightly. He searched your eyes for a second, and then tilted his head, raising the phone camera to his face.
“I want you to see what you look like when you’re groveling at my feet,” Jeonghan replied, his voice low. “You’ll see what a good little slut you are.”
As Jeonghan spoke one of his hands left his phone and he buried his fingers in your hair.
“What do you do when you want me to stop?” Your eyes had drifted to Jeonghan’s dick, your mouth, embarrassingly enough drooling at the sight of it. It had been such a long time since he had decided to use your mouth. “Y/n.”
He tugged your head up sharply, and your eyes darted up. You quickly thought back on his words while you had been distracted and raised your hand to his thigh, tapping it twice. You gave him an apologetic expression, but his expression didn’t change.
“You’ve been bad about listening to me recently,” he commented lightly. “You’re so used to reward, and so spoiled that you think you can act up.”
You wanted to argue with him but as soon as your eyes fluttered back down he was tugging your head up more.
“Keep your eyes on the camera,” he said sternly. “Now tell the camera: Have you been spoiled recently?”
Your eyes peered into the camera lens, your face surely dark from a combination of anticipation, lust, and slight embarrassment.
“I’ve been spoiled,” you agreed. Jeonghan hummed.
“You started taking my dick for granted, didn’t you?” You nodded your agreement, fighting the urge to look at Jeonghan. “You’re going to have to earn your orgasm today.”
You couldn’t help it, your eyes shot to Jeonghan in surprise, and as soon as they did you felt yourself get hit in the face. This time it wasn’t by his hands. Your eyes widened further when you realized that his hand had left your hair and was now wrapped around the base of his cock.
Heat rushed through your body when you realized that he had hit you with his cock.
Your eyes darted back to the camera.
“I’m sorry,” you said, you glanced back at Jeonghan. “I’m so sorry, I’ll be good.” And then your eyes returned to the camera.
A hum left Jeonghan’s mouth, but he didn’t dwell too much on the fact that you were having trouble listening. Deep in the back of your mind you thought that Jeonghan couldn’t blame you for being so distracted. You wanted to be good but how could you be good when it had been so long since Jeonghan had touched you like this?
As these thoughts ran through your mind, Jeonghan’s hand returned back to your hair.
“Mouth open,” he commanded. Your mouth dropped open and Jeonghan quickly pushed your head down on his cock. You choked a little at the sudden intrusion, feeling your gag reflex go off even as you tried to push away the feeling. Jeonghan scoffed.
“You can’t even take my dick the way you usually can,” he chided. “You are usually so good at not choking, is it too big for you love?”
Your face burned as you focused hard on breathing through your nose. You made sure to keep your eyes on the camera, feeling ease fall over you when you stopped feeling the need to gag after each and every thrust.
The longer Jeonghan forced your head up and down the length of his cock, the more his taunting tone turned airy. He stopped talking in favor of moans tumbling from his mouth, but his relentlessness did not end. He began to essentially fuck your face faster and faster the longer that he went.
“Your mouth is so wet and hot,” Jeonghan said gruffly. Your eyes flitted towards him only to find that his eyes were shut in pleasure. “It’s almost as good as your pussy.”
He moaned at the mere mention of your pussy.
“I’m not interested in foreplay today; I need to fucking destroy you. You better get yourself ready.”
Your eyes shot back to the camera, realizing that you probably did not have much time to get yourself ready. Your hand lowered to your pussy, which was, of course, dripping wet. You pushed two of your fingers right into yourself with ease, wasting no time in matching Jeonghan’s pace.
It was getting a lot harder to keep your focus on the camera as Jeonghan started to move your head up and down faster on his cock. You could feel his cock twitch inside of your mouth, and by the way that his fingers were tightening their grip in your hair you knew that Jeonghan was getting close to having his first orgasm of the night. You pushed a third finger into yourself quickly, ignoring the burn as you began to also suck on his cock more, hoping to bring him closer, faster, like you thought he wanted.
“I’m going to cum in your perfect little mouth, and I want you to capture all of the cum. I better not see a single drop spilled.”
You moaned around Jeonghan’s cock, excitement buzzing through your body as Jeonghan got closer to his orgasm. You only had to wait a few more pumps before Jeonghan’s cum started to fill your mouth. He pulled his cock out enough so that it was really just his tip in your mouth as he began to come.
“Don’t swallow it either.”
His hand left your hair, and then suddenly he pulled himself out of your mouth. You opened your mouth to protest but then a little bit of cum dripped from your mouth and you slammed it shut. Jeonghan didn’t seem to be bothered. He instead gave his cock a few pumps as he painted your face with the rest of his cum, and once he had finally stopped you got slapped hard.
“Didn’t I tell you not to get any cum on your face?” He snapped. Your eyes shot to his in apology but that apparently wasn’t the right move either. “And you’re not even looking at the camera.”
Your eyes shot back to the camera just in time for Jeonghan’s fingers to bury in your hair again and he forced your head back.
“Say thank you for the cum with it still in your mouth,” he commanded. You were quick to comply.
“Thank you for the cum,” you said.
“Louder.”
“Thank you for the cum,” you repeated, much louder this time. Jeonghan hummed, looking at you from behind the camera screen. After a few seconds of just staring at you he set the phone aside and pulled you up by the strands of your hair. He pushed you onto the bed, your ass sticking out over the edge and grabbed you by the hips to pull you up against his pelvis, pushing his cock into you without warning.
You cried out in surprise and more cum dripped out of your mouth, so you slammed your hand over it, feeling your already wet fingers smear his cum over your cheeks.
Jeonghan snickered.
“Trying so hard to be good now aren’t you?” He asked. “You scared you’re going to lose your orgasm?”
Jeonghan pushed deep into you, hard again without warning, jostling your whole body and making you fall awkwardly on your face. You quickly tried to steady yourself but then he pushed into you hard again and you found yourself back in the same position.
Jeonghan seemed to be annoyed by how you were jostling because he made a sound that resembled  that of a growl and pushed your head down into the comforter.
“Stop moving.”
Now that you were steady under Jeonghan he began to really lose control. You hadn’t thought it was possible for Jeonghan to fuck you any harder than he had in the past but you had been ridiculously wrong. With each thrust you were fighting screaming, the only thing keeping you any semblance of quiet being the fact that he hadn’t told you yet that you could swallow the cum you were still holding in your mouth.
Jeonghan was bouncing your entire body with his thrust, your bed creaking with each movement. After a while of literally pounding you his hand left your head, and he grabbed you by your forearms. You were lifted off of the bed, your back arched as Jeonghan fucked himself even deeper inside of you.
“I want to hear you,” he snapped gruffly. You didn’t have to be told more than once. You opened your mouth, both loud moans and cum coming out of it as you did so. You ignored as the cum and spit soaked your chin, dripping down your body and onto the bed.
Jeonghan didn’t pay much mind to it at all either. In fact, his hands quickly switched their position so that he was holding you up by your throat.
His hands were cutting off your air circulation just enough that it was making pleasure swirl even more aggressively in your head.
Without any warning at all, you suddenly felt Jeonghan begin to come deep inside of you, his hips stuttering a little as he began to unload himself in you.
“Fuck, thank you Jeonghan. Thank you,” you cried out, earning yourself a slap.
“Shut up,” Jeonghan mumbled, but you could hear the smile in his voice as he said it.
You felt your own orgasm starting to come up but you desperately fought against it, recognizing that Jeonghan had not told you that you could cum yet.
Jeonghan didn’t stop fucking you even after he had finished coming inside of you. Instead, he briefly pulled out of you to flip you onto your back, and pushed right back into you. His cock somehow already hard again as he began to drill into you from there.
“Do you want to cum?” He asked you. You pressed your lips together and nodded eagerly. He hummed, his thumb running over your cum and spit-soaked chin. “Do you think you’ve earned it?”
Your body was burning, and him talking to you like this wasn’t making it any easier to hold off your orgasm, but regardless you had to be honest.
“No,” you admitted. “But I’ve been better than others haven’t I? I always take your cock just the way you want it, and I’m so good at taking your cum.”
Jeonghan nodded, his eyes flickering down to your lips.
“You like being my little cum dumpster? You like it when I fuck my cum deep inside of you?”
“Yes Jeonghan, fuck yes. I need it, I need your cum so badly,” you agreed, your tone getting lighter, more desperate. “I need you so badly Jeonghan, all the time. I want you to use me more.”
“Yeah? You like this way too much for the average person,” he chided. His fingers pinched at the corners of your mouth, forcing your jaw open. He spit in your mouth and then let go. You swallowed it without a second thought.
“Thank you,” you blurted out. Jeonghan’s head fell to the side.
“For what?” He asked, but as he did he lowered his hands to your waist, forcing himself into you faster.
“For everything,” you cried out. “For fucking me, for coming in me, for coming on me. For all of it. For your spit. Thank you.”
 Jeonghan’s hips stuttered against you.
“Fuck, y/n,” he said, sounding absolutely wrecked. Suddenly he wrapped one of his arms around you, lifting you off the bed a bit so that he could bury his face in your neck while he fucked you. You felt him bite down on your neck, sucking a hickey into it just as his other hand pressed down on your clit.
“You can come you little slut. Come on my cock like a good girl.”
You didn’t have to be told more. You felt tears of relief began to roll down your cheeks as you finally let yourself come, your thighs shaking as Jeonghan came right after you. His thrusts not stopping until you felt so full that you thought you might explode.
Jeonghan held you in that position for a little while, his cock buried deep inside you as he busied himself marking up your neck again, but after a few minutes he flipped you both over, sliding his cock out of you.
Your chest heaved against Jeonghan’s and you buried your face in his chest in pure exhaustion. You heard him sigh, his fingers making their way into your hair. He combed through it gently.
“Sorry,” he mumbled, his voice so quiet you almost couldn’t hear him. You looked up at him, confusion riddled over your clearly messy and red face. A flicker of a smile crossed Jeonghan’s lips at his handiwork, but it was replaced quickly by a solemn look that matched his apology.
“For what?” You asked. “You heard me thank you for everything earlier.”
You laughed softly and pressed your head back against his hand.
“You know I like it just as much as you do.”
“It’s not that,” Jeonghan replied. He looked troubled, and serious. “I’m sorry for taking my anger out on you... I shouldn’t do that. I won’t make a habit of it.”
“I don’t personally mind,” you commented with a shrug. “Take your anger out on me all you want if it makes you feel better.”
Jeonghan was still staring at you.
“Did it make you feel better?”
Jeonghan sighed, finally his eyes flickering away from you.
“I think it made it worse.”
You wanted to scream at Jeonghan. Mostly for being confusing. You were thinking of how to bring up the fact you knew he was lying about sleeping with other girls but every communication technique that you could use just fell flat in your mind. Start, stop, continue... NVC?
I feel confused because you told me you were sleeping with other people when you weren’t and I would like to talk to you about why you felt like you had to do that.
Not only were you not sure if that was formed right, but it would also be stupid to bring up in any normal context.
… Stupid Micah Salaberrios...
So instead of using your engrained knowledge of healthy proper communication you fell back on the easier option.
“You’ve never been in my place before. Do you like it?”
Jeonghan hummed and pulled away from you, sitting up. You whined as you fell into your comforter which made Jeonghan laugh. His fingers tightened in your hair again and he dragged you up with him.
“Dick...” You mumbled. Jeonghan snorted and you propped yourself up in your bed.
“You certainly have a lot of posters of men on your walls,” he observed, gesturing to the kpop posters you had scattered across your room. It just amused you.
“Jealous?”
“Hardly. I doubt you would be groveling on your knees for them, begging to be hit and used like a pretty little fuck toy.”
Your face reddened a bit.
“You would be surprised. I don’t know if I would be able to choose if my choices lied between you and Taeyoung.”
Jeonghan clearly didn’t like where the conversation was going as he gave you a stern look.
“You really want me to put you in your place all over again? Remind you what your only real use is?” He demanded.
You swallowed, surprised (and disappointed) by his lack of physical touch to match the threat. You kind of did want him to put you in your place all over again.
“No,” you mumbled. It was small. You clearly wanted more but Jeonghan played dumb. He patted your head.
“Where’s your shower?”
There he was again. That gentle Jeonghan that came after being railed and treated like you were nothing at all.
“Down the hall. On the left.”
Jeonghan stood up, stretch as soon as he was out of your bed and then scooped down to pick you up. You yelped in surprise but were in zero shape to fight back.
“I don’t always have to shower right after we fuck,” you whined, wrapping your arms around his neck. You couldn’t help an intrusive thought from escaping as well: “Why do you care so much about after care anyways?”
Jeonghan scoffed, and it vibrated through his body.
“What kind of emotional damage would I be leaving on you if I called you worthless and hit you and then just… left?”
You shrugged.
“What does it matter?” You asked. “I’m just a fuck toy.”
Jeonghan paused at the statement, his face scrunching in concentration for a moment. He looked like he really wanted to address your words but for some reason couldn’t figure out a way to. You didn’t understand why those choice words were bothering him. Even if he wasn’t sleeping with other people, they were objectively true.
“You’re not just a fuck toy,” Jeonghan finally said. “You are my fuck toy, but that’s not all you are.”
You opened your mouth to negate Jeonghan’s statement but before you could he was talking again.
“I’m going to start your shower.��
If his purpose was to derail the conversation by causing you additional frustration he had done the perfect job. You groaned, successfully rolling out of Jeonghan’s arms and back on your bed. You buried your face in your bed sheets. He didn’t seem put off by your show.
“I’ll shower first but you have to shower too,” he stated. “I don’t know why you are such a brat about showers. You’re so obedient for me otherwise.”
You waited for him to say more but when he didn’t you sat up and found that he wasn’t there anymore. You sighed. How unproductive.
Your mind turned to Jeonghan in the shower, and you realized that you didn’t actually have anything for him to wear. You knew that your clothes wouldn’t fit him so you raced to come up with anything else and then remembered that you had some clothes that one of your old flings had left once before.
You got out of bed and walked over to your closet, getting on top of a chair so that you could grab them from the top corner.
You gave them a test sniff, and found that they just smelled like your laundry detergent.
Along with those, you walked over to the hallway closet grabbing a fresh towel.
True to his word Jeonghan was still in the shower when you pushed into the bathroom.
“I brought you a towel,” you mumbled. “And some clothes.”
Jeonghan peeked around the shower curtain, frowning.
“I don’t think I’ll fit into your clothes love,” he stated. Your heart fluttered at his words. Love.
“They’re men’s clothes,” you replied. “I think they’ll fit you. You’re about the same height as…” Suddenly your thoughts turned to the other day at the library. Your lips pressed together. “Uh-”
At first Jeonghan just looked confused, but that confusion faded into understanding when he realized what you had been about to say. His head tilted and his expression became harder.
“About the same height as who?” He pressed. You kept your lips pressed together, unwilling to say a word. You just shook your head. He pushed aside the shower curtain and took the clothes from your hands tossing them on the floor.
Before you had come in here you had put a shirt on so that you weren’t walking around completely naked, but Jeonghan wrapped his arm around you, dipping under the shirt and coming down hard on your ass. You yelped and he pulled you close to him, the water from the shower coming off of him and onto your shirt.
“Whose clothes are on the floor of your bathroom y/n?” Jeonghan asked you. Your lips pressed together and again just shook your head. He slapped your ass again: “It’s not like you to be bad. You must be really scared.”
There was a hint of amusement in his voice. You cleared your throat.
“They’re just a friends-” Jeonghan hit your ass again. “Okay, it was a flings’. But it’s been months since I’ve even talked to him.”
Jeonghan’s eyebrow rose slightly.
“Then why are you so nervous?” He mumbled. Your eyes flickered to his.
“You have a bit of a jealous streak.”
Jeonghan laughed and looked like he wanted to negate what you said but before he could you flicked your head in the direction of the discarded clothes. He pressed his lips together.
“Okay… Maybe you have a point,” he relinquished. He looked back at you and shrugged. “Thanks for the clothes. Your turn.”
-
When you got out of the shower, you found Jeonghan in your kitchen in the clothes you had left for him. He looked annoyed and you didn’t have to look at him long to figure out why. He looked at you.
“Why do you even still have these?” He asked you. He pulled at the collar of his shirt in aggravation.
“I thought maybe Yujun would want them back.”
Jeonghan scoffed and rolled his eyes.
“Does it still smell like him?” He asked. “Don’t men’s clothes smell like them for a really long time?”
“Jeonghan don’t be stupid-”
“You can keep the clothes I wore over here,” he interrupted you. He gestured to what he was currently wearing. “I’m burning this.”
You rolled your eyes, but honestly, you thought it was a little cute. Even if this just made you even more confused on what Jeonghan saw you as. You wandered over to the kitchen island, taking a seat at one of the chairs. You rested your head on your hand.
“What are you doing in my kitchen anyways?” You asked. Jeonghan hummed.
“I thought it was about time you tried my cooking.”
Your eyebrows rose in surprise.
“What?” You asked. Jeonghan walked over to your pantry, pulling out a box of pasta. He looked at the box.
“I love pasta,” he mumbled, but it seemed like it was mostly to himself. He set the box on the counter and then looked in your fridge. He paused for a second as he looked at the contents. He then reached in and grabbed out a few things. Spinach, heavy cream, milk, cheese. You were surprised you had so many fresh ingredients.
He closed the fridge door behind him. You frowned slightly.
“Have you ever made pasta before?” You asked, your mind flickering to the fact that Jeonghan had evaded answering if he was a good cook or not. You thought that if someone were good as cooking they would brag about it. Like Mingyu did everytime you were over.
“I’ve seen Mingyu make pasta before,” Jeonghan replied, focused on getting out the things he needed for the dish. “How hard can it be?”
You had never seen anyone mess up anything as bad as Jeonghan messed up cooking pasta. You watched as he didn’t stir the pasta as it boiled, he burned the milk by turning the heat up too high, and on top of all that he set one of your kitchen towels on fire.
To be completely fair, you were pretty sure that the Alpha Mu house had electric stoves, not gas ones but regardless, it wasn’t what you had expected at all when he first started measuring out the ingredients to make the pasta sauce.
“When you said that I would find out if you were good at cooking or not-”
Jeonghan shut you up by lightly putting his hand in your face and pushing you to the side. You stumbled a little and shot him a glare.
“Hey! You about burned my apartment down!” You protested. Jeonghan had taken a seat at your kitchen island while you started to clean up after him. He had the audacity to be sitting there with a sad look on his face. As if something you had done was the reason that he couldn’t eat.
“I just wanted pasta,” he replied, his head rested on his arms that were on the counter.
“If you were that bad at cooking why didn’t you just ask me to make you something?” You demanded. Jeonghan still held that pathetic look on his face, as if he was a child being scolded.
“Do you know how to make pasta?” He asked you. You huffed loudly out of your mouth.
“You’re so weird Jeonghan,” you mumbled. “Of course, I know how to make pasta. All you have to do is boil some water and heat some milk and heavy whipping cream.”
You put the lid on your pot as you dumped the water out of the overcooked pasta.
“It’s not really aftercare if you do the cooking,” Jeonghan continued, that whine still in his voice. You rolled your eyes.
“That’s not true. Maybe it’s aftercare from me to you,” you replied. “You make me shower. I’ll cook you food.”
Jeonghan was silent for so long that it worried you. You dumped the pasta out into your trash can and then looked up at him. He was watching you closely, the pout that had been on his face was gone now. When he realized that you were looking at him, he let his eyes flutter closed.
“Okay, cook for me then,” he said. There was something weird in his voice, your eyebrows furrowed as you tried to figure out what it was. You stood there for only a few seconds before you gave up.
How could you expect yourself to understand the tone of his voice when you didn’t even understand why he had lied to you about sleeping with other girls?
You turned your attention back to the stove, cleaning the pots as you needed them. The silence between you and Jeonghan was weird, so you found yourself glancing back at him a lot to see if he was asleep or not. Each time you looked back at him you found his eyes were fluttering shut.
It was like he was a child. He was quite literally pretending to be asleep when in reality he was watching you cook.
You couldn’t help but feel a little irritated.
“What have you been doing the last few days anyways?” You mumbled as you mixed some cheese into the sauce you were making. “Or I guess the question is who have you been doing?”
It was a trap really. Was it fair for you to trap a boy in a lie who didn’t even know you knew he was lying?
“I thought you didn’t get jealous unless it was Chaedom?” Jeonghan asked. You rolled your eyes and looked back at him. Again, his eyes fluttered shut as if he hadn’t been watching you at all.
“I’m not jealous,” you replied, but the bite in your voice said otherwise. “I’m just wondering that’s all.”
“I don’t need to tell you about that kind of stuff,” Jeonghan responded. “Why do you even care?”
You couldn’t answer that.
“I don’t,” you replied. “It’s just interesting to be fucking around with someone who is so openly fucking other people.”
You heard Jeonghan moving, but you kept your focus on the stove. You sort of expected him to have left the room but then all of a sudden his arms wrapped around your chest and Jeonghan buried his face into the back of your neck. You made a small noise in protest to the sudden affection.
“I’m tired,” Jeonghan complained. “You’re taking too long to cook.”
You wanted to be annoyed but having Jeonghan at such a close proximity made your heart flutter. Against your better judgement you let your head loll back against his a little.
“Cooking takes time,” you mumbled back. Jeonghan made a soft noise of complaint, but he didn’t say more.
God, you really didn’t get Jeonghan sometimes and it was almost as if the more you got to know him the more confusing he got. The way that he was holding you it was almost as if...
God, you didn’t want to think those things. You couldn’t stand to be any more delusional than you already were being.
Why was Jeonghan lying to you? It had to be a manipulation tactic. Maybe he was just bored. Maybe he had tired of fucking other people but he wanted to keep you at a distance.
Or maybe he just thrived on your confusion. Maybe he just wanted to see how far you would let him go with things. Maybe he wanted to hurt you, and this was the way he was going about it.
“Your thoughts are loud.”
Your eyes widened at Jeonghan’s words.
“Huh? What thoughts?” You asked. Jeonghan shifted his body.
“You’re overthinking us again, aren’t you?” He replied.
“I’m not-” You huffed out in aggravation. “What is there to overthink?”
Jeonghan turned so that his face was in yours.
“It’s natural to want to be close to someone in a relationship like ours,” Jeonghan said.
You stared at Jeonghan, a little lost for words with how close he was to you.
“A relationship like ours...?”
“We’re practically in a dom/sub relationship,” Jeonghan defined. “Just without a contract.”
Luckily the addition at the end seemed to remind yourself that this was Jeonghan you were talking to. He probably categorized dreams that he had about being in a real relationship with someone as a nightmare. You were being delusional getting stuck on things like him being clingy after sex and referring to you two as having a relationship.
He was right after all. You two did have a relationship. It just wasn’t a romantic one.
“What? Like in 50 Shades of Grey?” You asked, rolling your eyes. You batted Jeonghan away from you and took the pot off the stove to drain the noodles.
“I’m just saying, it’s not weird that I would want to hold you while you’re cooking. Or that you would want me close when we’re sleeping,” Jeonghan continued. You tried to come off as indifferent towards the conversation, honestly feeling a bit annoyed that he had been so easily able to tell that your mind was racing. “It’s better if I give you reassurance afterwards, whether it be physical or just emotional.”
Still ignoring Jeonghan you poured the pasta into your finished sauce, tossing the noodles around in it.
“And what about you?” You pondered, turning to look at Jeonghan. He was now leaning against your counter, just looking at you. “Don’t you need reassurance?”
“I am always getting reassurance from you,” Jeonghan replied bluntly. “Your confirmation that you know our safe word, the way that you let me tell you to do things even outside of the bedroom, even when you’re being a brat about after care-”
You looked away from him with an annoyed grunt as you went to get some bowls out of the pantry. You opened up a cabinet and got on your tip toes a little bit so that you could grab the bowls. Jeonghan stopped you, putting a hand over yours. You felt like you had to look at him.
“Your trust is reassurance to me. You have every chance to tell me no. You have every chance to tell me something is too much. You don’t have to put up with anything I do if you don’t want to,” Jeonghan said. He grabbed down two bowls, holding them out for you. “That’s my reassurance. It’s in your words and actions. You need the same reassurance from me.”
You pressed your lips together and took the bowls from Jeonghan. You looked away from him and started to scoop the pasta into the bowls. You cleared your throat, trying to shake the heavy feeling off of your shoulders.
“Why are you talking to me as if I’m not a Psych major?” You asked. “I understand the importance of reassurance.”
You turned around and pointed for Jeonghan to sit down. He did as he was told and you set the bowl of pasta in front of him, giving him a fork and a glass of water before sitting down next to him.
“Then why are you acting like it’s weird when I take steps to make sure you are reassured?” Jeonghan asked. Your eyes fluttered down to your food.
“We’re just fuck buddies Jeonghan,” you replied as if it was obvious. You risked a glance at him and immediately regretted it. Even though he had said early he was hungry, even though he had complained about being tired the only thing he was focused on was you. “I’ve had boyfriends who were less affectionate than you are.”
Jeonghan’s jaw tightened a little at your words.
“What do you mean by that?” He asked. You couldn’t keep looking at him, so you looked back at your food, poking at it as you waited for it to cool down.
“It’s just all this aftercare… I’m just not used to it.”
“How could you not be used to aftercare?” Jeonghan practically repeated the same question as before.
“My other partners never gave me aftercare,” you replied. “They would just… Fall asleep, or kick me out, or leave themselves. We didn’t do legos, or breakfast. They definitely didn’t start showers for me.”
Jeonghan was quiet, and honestly? His silence made you feel like your confession was worse than it was.
“It’s not like I need the reassurance. It’s kind of like you said. I find reassurance in other ways.”
“No,” Jeonghan said, his voice sharp. “I find reassurance directly in what you say and do. What you’re describing is the same as if I never even told you how good you are for me.”
You rolled your eyes.
“Jeonghan you assure me that I’m good even in the middle of sex.”
“Yeah, I do,” he agreed. “But did they?”
Your lips pressed together firmly.
“I thought you didn’t like me talking about other men,” you finally said. Jeonghan pressed his hands on either sides of your chair and turned you so that you were facing him. He then raised a hand to your face, forcing you to make eye contact with him.
“Y/n, you can’t be so nonchalant about these things,” he said, his voice hushed. “You’re smart, you know better than I do the effect that this kind of relationship could have on you if I didn’t force aftercare down your throat. I know it’s uncomfortable and it’s weird since we aren’t dating and you aren’t used to this but you do need it. You know you need it. I need you to admit that you need it.”
You didn’t want to admit that you needed aftercare. You didn’t want to admit that you needed Jeonghan’s reassurance. This was only more confusing knowing what you knew about Jeonghan. How could he be lying to you about sleeping with other people and in the same breath tell you that he knew how important it was to reassure you that you were good?
Again, his actions just didn’t make sense. If this was a manipulation technique it was a fucking weird one.
But then again, Jeonghan didn’t look like he was manipulating you. Getting to know him you couldn’t really see him as some sort of monster who was just trying to hurt you. Why would someone who was just aiming to see you cry put so much effort into making sure you understood that you were cared for?
It was moments like these where the delusions were so easy to believe. He knew you so well, and he clearly cared so much about you. You could tell in the way that he wasn’t just looking at you. His eyes were darting all over your face like he was reading every single part of you to completely understand you. Maybe Jeonghan not sleeping with other people was actually for you.
Maybe he cared about you so much that he just couldn’t imagine actually sleeping with other people.
But then again, these thoughts were all just that- Delusions.
“I…” You really hated that Jeonghan was right. “I do need it.”
A smile flickered across Jeonghan’s face.
“And there’s my reassurance,” he said softly. His fingers loosened their grip on you, and he raised a hand to your head. He patted you. “Now eat.”
You opened your mouth to say more, but it seemed like Jeonghan was done with the topic. He turned to the pasta and took a scoop of it. As soon as he put it in his mouth, he let out a pleasant hum.
“This is really good,” he commented. That seemed to kick you back into the moment. You turned yourself back towards your food and began to eat as well.
“Of course, it’s good,” you mumbled. “I made it.”
“I should come over more.”
The comment was probably meant to be off handed, but it only took you more by surprise.
“But you should cook before we have sex so that we can just go to sleep right after.”
He glanced at you.
“You don’t seem like your mind is being all that quiet today.”
Of course, your mind wasn’t being quiet. God, you wanted to scream at him. He was lying to you. Lying to you about something stupid. Lying to you about something that no one in their right minds would ever lie about.
And no matter how hard you thought about it, no matter how much you searched for a logical reason you couldn’t find one. It didn’t make sense that Jeonghan would lie to you and say he was sleeping with other people in any way at all.
You tried not to let it show too much how bothered you were, and instead just let his comment sit in the air. You noticed he finished eating a while before you did, but he waited as if he wasn’t done until you had finished yourself. Then- Despite your many protests- He got up and started to clean the dishes.
“Go to sleep y/n,” he said. “You need to rest.”
You did feel tired. Physically, and emotionally. But regardless, you were annoyed at Jeonghan.
“I never do dishes at your place,” you complained. He laughed airily.
“And you also never pull me by the hair and tell me I’m only good at being fucked,” Jeonghan replied. “Our roles aren’t so easily reversed.”
You defiantly stayed where you were, watching Jeonghan clean the dishes.
“And what are you going to do then?” You asked him. He glanced back at you. “Are you going to go home?”
“What do you want me to do?” Jeonghan asked. Your heart skipped a beat but before your mind could complicate the feeling you remembered what Jeonghan had said. It was natural to want a kind of intimacy with Jeonghan within the relationship you two had. You needed reassurance.
You didn’t respond. You just silently screamed at him.
Stay.
Jeonghan hummed, and his eyes flitted back to the dishes.
“I’ll come join you in a minute then.”
You blinked.
“I didn’t say that I wanted you to stay,” you said. Another laugh from Jeonghan.
“Okay, then I’ll leave.”
“No-” Your response came a little faster than you thought a fuck buddies should. “No, I do want you to stay.”
Jeonghan hummed and didn’t respond so after a few moments you sighed.
Why were you trying to pick fights with him right now? You were tired. You should just let things be for the time being. You quietly left the room, putting on some pajamas and climbing into your bed. You laid there for a few minutes, but it felt weird to be in your bed instead of Jeonghan’s after just being railed.
You wondered if your mind was racing so much because you were used to your relationship with Jeonghan being in a finite place.
You worried for a little while that Jeonghan wasn’t actually going to join you, but just as those thoughts appeared in your head, Jeonghan walked into your room. He closed the door shut behind himself and then climbed under the sheets.
Your bed was a queen size, versus his king, so it was a bit smaller than you were used to sharing with him. You tried to lay there and pretend like you were asleep.
A few minutes passed. Had it always been so cold in your room?
“Jeonghan?” You managed to say. Jeonghan hummed a response. “Can you hold me?”
Jeonghan shifted beside you and suddenly his arms were around you. He pulled you up against his chest, putting his face in his favorite spot- On your neck.
“See that? My reassurance,” Jeonghan mumbled. “You’ve been good today.”
You put aside all worries about Jeonghan’s intentions towards you. You did really like the assurance.
-
“So, how has it gone in paradise?” Yeongtae asked. You groaned, loudly, unafraid to express to Yeongtae that he was treading in territory you didn’t want him in.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” you grumbled. He laughed.
“I’m rooting for you two!” He insisted. “And, admittedly, I’m curious to see how things will play out. Last episode was kind of a cliffhanger.”
“My sex life isn’t a tv show,” you replied. Then after a few minutes. “Besides, I’m also in the dark right now.”
Yeongtae’s eyes widened.
“You haven’t asked him yet?” He blurted.
“No,” you mumbled. “But that’s not a big deal, I mean what’s it even matter that he’s lying to me about sleeping with other people? He’s not. That’s a good thing.”
You tried to come off as nonchalant, but your mind was racing. You wondered what Yeongtae was going to say in response. You weren’t sure if you wanted him to reassure you that it wasn’t as big of a deal as you were making it out to be in your head or if you wanted him to reassure you that you weren’t crazy for obsessing over it so much the last few days.
“He’s still lying,” Yeongtae mumbled back. “What’s the harm in confronting him over it? I’m sure he has answers.”
You frowned, still a little put off by the whole situation. You didn’t want to have to bring it up to Jeonghan yourself. You didn’t really want him to know you knew.
It crossed your mind briefly that maybe one of the boys had told Jeonghan that you had asked them but quickly dismissed it. You were pretty sure that they all liked you a lot, and building off of that you were pretty sure that if Jeonghan did know, he would have brought it up by now.
… Maybe.
“You are way too stressed out over this situation,” Yeongtae said with a sigh and a shake of his head. “You should come to a party with me tonight.”
You scoffed at the invitation.
“Right.”
“No, I’m serious!” Yeongtae insisted. “You never have fun and let loose! We’ll bring Jeongyeon and Jimin and Jun and you can drink for once.”
“There is nothing healthy about going to a party to drink away your problems,” you replied. “It would just be further-”
“Blah, blah, blah,” Yeongtae interrupted. He took a step in front of you, forcing you to stop walking. “Come on! Forget your psych degree. Who cares if it’s unhealthy? It’s just one night. You’ll just stop thinking about him for one night. Nothing wrong with that.”
You had never hung out with Jimin and Jeongyeon voluntarily. That being said, your whole group was weird. To be going to a party that wasn’t an Alpha Mu party, to hang out with Jun, Jimin, Jeongyeon, and Yeongtae?
Well, you had never imagined that there would be a day.
As soon as you got to the party, Yeongtae had peeled away, only to come back a few minutes later with a bunch of drinks in red solo cups in hand. He passed the cups out to everyone, smiling brightly.
“Is everyone ready to have an amazing night?” He asked excitedly.
One of the reasons that you had actually agreed to come out tonight was because of Yeongtae. Namely, because it had occurred to you recently that Yeongtae hadn’t been lying to you when you first met. You were pretty sure that you actually were his only friend in school.
He never talked about meeting with other people, and if he did answer a phone call or anything it was from a friend that was out of town. You felt a bit bad for him, considering all you two spent your time doing was studying.
You looked down at the cup full of amber liquid, squinting at it unsurely. You cleared your throat.
God, it had been such a long time since you had actually gone drinking. You didn’t tend to find solace in getting drunk as normally you were practically babysitting your friends.
“Y/n, don’t worry so much about it.”
You looked up to find that Jun was watching you closely. He gave you a smile.
“I’ll watch out for you,” he assured you. “So don’t worry, nothing bad will happen.”
You gave him a small smile and nodded.
“Okay, thanks.”
You knew you didn’t have to drink if you didn’t want to. Not really.
You tipped the drink into your mouth.
You supposed that you wanted to.
The thing about getting drunk for you was mostly just that you were constantly dizzy. You weren’t necessarily clumsier than usually but the whole world constantly felt like it was spinning. You kept your grip tight on Yeongtae’s forearm as he started to talk to a girl. You laughed as you watched the two interact, glad to see that Yeongtae was actually enjoying someone’s company.
“How long have you and your girlfriend been dating?” The girl asked, her eyes shooting to you. It was a look that you had only seen in this eyes of other girls who wanted to be with Jeonghan. You laughed.
“What? We’re not dating,” you said. You let go of Yeongtae’s forearm and craned your neck, pointing to where you thought some of your fading hickeys might be. “I belong to someone else.”
“Yoon Jeonghan,” Yeongtae filled in. The girl seemed a bit surprised at the mention of Jeonghan but regardless a smile flickered across her face.
“So you won’t mind if I take Yeongtae away?”
Your mouth dropped open in excitement and surprise.
“Oh, be my guest!” Your eyes flitted towards Yeongtae. “I won’t be answering any phone calls though.”
Yeongtae laughed as the girl latched herself onto Yeongtae.
“And here I was hoping to finally get my revenge.”
The girl dragged Yeongtae away through the crowd and you found yourself alone. You wondered where to go next but you vaguely remembered Jimin and Jeongyeon sneaking off to a closet a little while earlier. They were no help.
You thought maybe you would try and go find Jun.
You took a few steps but before you could get far you bumped into someone. You went to apologize but stopped dead in your tracks. Your eyebrows furrowed slightly.
“Yunjun?”
The tall boy looked to be just as surprised as you were. You thought for a moment that maybe you had the wrong guy, but Yunjun was definitely standing there. Your eyes flickered to his hair. It was long and blonde. You’d never seen it like that before.
“Y/n,” Yunjun replied. His eyes flickered up and down your body, making you feel a bit self-conscious. You weren’t dressed in a lot as per Jeongyeon’s request. You two were wearing matching skirts and crop tops. “You look really good.”
Your lips flickered into a smile.
“Uh, thanks.”
You couldn’t help the way that your mind turned when you were with him. Just being near him reminded you of your time with him. Of all your flings he had probably been the worst one that you were with in terms of reassurance and aftercare. And going on that he had been one of your most intense flings.
Whereas Jeonghan was rough with you in actions and words he still slipped in praise here and there. Yunjun had never done that. It was why you had stopped seeing him. He made you feel small.
“What have you been up to recently?” Yunjun asked. He seemed to think over a few things. “Don’t you still have some of my clothes?”
Your mind flickered back to Jeonghan.
“Uh, something happened to them. I don’t have them anymore.”
Yunjun seemed confused by that statement, but he didn’t dig.
“You know, it’s been a really long time since I had my hands on you,” Yunjun said softly. He stepped closer to you, his hand coming up to your face. He brushed a strand of hair to the side. “It would be fine to have a blast from the past.”
You laughed nervously. Yunjun was someone that you didn’t really feel comfortable around. You went to respond but before you could his eyes flickered to your neck. He frowned and tilted your head up.
“How did…?” “Oh, uh-” You batted Yunjun’s hand away from you. His frown deepened at that. “I actually am seeing someone right now.”
Yunjun’s eyes narrowed at you. You could tell he didn’t like that you had diminished his display of dominance over you.
You were a bit too drunk to handle this situation. If you were sober, you knew that you wouldn’t be so nervous around him. You also knew that you would be able to leave this conversation without a stray thought.
“Who?” Yunjun asked. Now it was your turn to frown.
“It doesn’t matter,” you responded.
“Sure, it does. I just need to know if I should really worry about using someone else’s toy.”
You pressed your lips together. You hated being objectified when it was like this. This wasn’t a turn on. This was a situation you wanted out of.
“You should worry about it because I’m not a toy you’re going to get to use today,” you replied. “Or tomorrow or-”
Yunjun interrupted you with a laugh.
“It’s not like you to get drunk y/n,” he said. “The alcohol is making you forget how much fun we used to have.”
He tilted his head a bit, his eyes still on the hickey’s on your neck.
“You never let me leave hickeys on you.”
“He’s more possessive than you,” you replied pointedly. “I’m done with this conversation. Even if I wasn’t with someone, I’m not interested in sleeping with you again.”
You turned away from Yunjun, your thoughts returning to getting back to Jun but just as you turned around Yunjun’s tight gripe was on your wrist.
“That’s not your safe word,” he warned. Your eyebrows furrowed as you searched your mind to try and remember what your safe word with Yunjun had been, but in your drunk haze all you could remember was your safe word with Jeonghan. You opened your mouth to reassert that you weren’t going to sleep with Yunjun and that you didn’t remember your safe word (not that it should matter) but before you could someone came to a stop in front of you.
Your eyes furrowed and you raised your gaze to meet the persons eyes.
Everything was blurry but you could still make out that it was Jeonghan standing in front of you.
His face was a dark red and after glance at his hands you saw that his fists were clenched. You looked back up at his eyes.
“Jeonghan.”
His eyes flickered away from yours and he looked over your head.
“Let go of her.”
Jeonghan’s voice was deeper than you had ever heard it before. Yunjun let go of you so suddenly that you couldn’t help but fall forward, your head bumping into Jeonghan’s chest.
He wrapped his arms around your body, and pulled you close to him, one hand going protectively over your head. You could feel that he was talking, his body was vibrating with each word, but you couldn’t figure out what he was saying.
You tried to move to look up at him or access the situation but Jeonghan’s grip on you was too tight. He was quite literally shielding you from the conversation. Part of you wanted to fight against it. You wanted to know what he was saying.
But another part of you was tired and felt undeniably felt safer wrapped in Jeonghan’s arms. For the first time in hours, it felt quiet.
Then, Jeonghan started to move. He kept you close to him, still trying to shield you as he started to lead you through the crowd. He stopped somewhere and this time you were able to look up. He was talking to Jun. He covered your ears again quickly.
Then he started to lead you out of the party again.
Once the two of you were out in the cool air, he loosened his grip on you, letting you pull away from his body. He didn’t completely let go of you. His hand slid down, his fingers intertwining with yours.
He was quiet, not saying anything. You could feel that he was upset. But you could also feel that it wasn’t at you.
“Do you know how hard it was to watch that?” Jeonghan asked after a few minutes. When he started speaking, he also started to walk again, dragging you along with him. “I didn’t want to intervene, I know you can handle yourself.”
You didn’t respond to him, so he continued.
“When he touched you? You so clearly didn’t want it and he ignored all of your signs.”
Another brief span of silence.
“Who was that?”
“Just an old fling,” you replied, your voice quiet. You were still so dizzy. “Yunjun.”
Jeonghan’s grip tightened on your hand.
“He’s lucky he’s not dead,” he replied. “He might not see the end of the week.”
“Don’t joke about that Jeonghan,” you said. His eyes fluttered back to you, and the look in his eyes made you realize that his next statement was true.
“I’m not joking.”
You looked to the street.
“I’m sorry,” you mumbled.
Jeonghan stopped in his tracks, making you bump right into him. When you looked up, Jeonghan was looking at you with a terrifyingly serious expression on his face.
“Why?” He asked. You just stared at him. “Why are you sorry? Because you decided to have fun for once? Because you got drunk safely around friends? Because you let an old fling touch you even though you told him no?”
His words were hushed in a way that made it very clear to you he was fighting screaming.
“Don’t apologize for that,” he said. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“But you’re upset,” you replied softly. “I’m sorry for making you upset.”
“I’m overly possessive. This isn’t news,” he said. “Of course, I’m upset. Someone else was touching you.”
His eyes briefly flickered away from you, but his gaze was back fast.
“But that’s not your fault. I’m not upset at you,” he said. “And even if you had wanted the touches. Even if you had asked for that attention I still wouldn’t be upset at you. You can do whatever you want.”
You wanted to argue with him further on this. If he wasn’t mad at you then who was he mad at?
It was useless though.
“Do you want me to take you to your place?”
God, he was so frustrating.
“I don’t suppose you’re going to fuck me.”
You didn’t mean to be so blunt, but also you didn’t care. You kind of wanted the validation that came from having sex with Jeonghan. Even if he was confusing. Even if he was lying. You knew that he was serious when he called you good. You knew that he was being truthful when he said that he couldn’t get enough of you.
You liked that at a party with a hundred people you knew that if you were there Jeonghan would end up going home with you.
You wondered if he got jealous over other people he had slept with flirting with people. It didn’t make sense that he would only be jealous over you.
“You’re drunk,” was all Jeonghan said.
“You’d fuck me if I was sober,” you replied. Jeonghan ignored you, but you knew he was right.
“Can I…” You didn’t want to ask. This was stepping over some sort of boundary, right? You couldn’t stay the night at Jeonghan’s if you two weren’t going to have sex. You two were entering a weird territory.
But you were craving validation. Yunjun had left you so unsettled.
“Can I stay at yours?” Your voice was really quiet. “I know that we aren’t really in that sort of-”
“Of course, you can,” Jeonghan replied. “I’d never say no to something like that.”
You two walked for a few more paces in silence but suddenly nausea swept over you. You tugged at Jeonghan’s hand, trying to get him to let you go. Once he did, you felt yourself fall to the ground. You groaned and buried your face in your hands.
You didn’t walk another step.
“Let’s sleep here,” you murmured. “The ground is comfortable.”
You rolled over even further, your back hitting the concrete. You heard Jeonghan sigh, and he knelt down in front of you.
“You can’t sleep here,” he said. “We’re almost back.”
You groaned in protest, keeping your face buried. Jeonghan let you sit there for a few seconds.
“Do you want me to carry you?”
You peeked up at him.
“Carry me?”
He nodded and turned around, crouched with his back towards you. He glanced at you over his shoulder.
“Come on. Get on my back.”
You pressed your lips together. Wasn’t this a little intimate?
But then again, if it were a friend like Yeongtae or Jun you would get on their back without hesitation.
You did as Jeonghan wanted you to. Once you were secure on his back Jeonghan stood up and began to walk. You two were quiet, you were afraid to lay your head too close to Jeonghan but you were also still ridiculously tired. You let your head rest on his shoulders, your eyes fluttering shut.
“Jeonghan?”
He hummed.
“Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
-
When you woke up you were in Jeonghan’s room. Your head hurt a little bit as you turned over to face Jeonghan’s side of the bed, but he wasn’t there. You pressed your lips together. Was this how he felt when he woke up and you weren’t next to him?
You glanced over and noticed a glass of water on the bedside table with a note. You reached over and began to drink the water as you read Jeonghan’s writing.
Call me when you wake up. Mingyu’s making you breakfast.
You weren’t in the same clothes as you had been the night before so Jeonghan must have changed you.
You tried to think back on the night, but you couldn’t remember anything after you fell asleep. Maybe you and Jeonghan had fucked last night? Further evidence that you meant very little to Jeonghan.
You sighed and pulled out your phone to call Jeonghan. You knew Jeonghan wouldn’t fuck you when you were drunk. As much of a player as he was, there were lines you knew he wouldn’t cross.
The phone only rang once.
“Good morning, sleeping beauty.”
You rolled your eyes.
“Morning,” you mumbled.
“Sorry I wasn’t there to greet you. I had an exam to go to,” he said. “Are you drinking your water?”
You hummed your confirmation to his question.
“Are you feeling, okay?” There was an air of worry in his voice.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” you replied. “I just don’t drink a lot is all.”
Jeonghan was quiet for a little while.
“It’s hard to figure out if you’re telling the truth or not over the phone,” he murmured. “Tonight Alpha Mu is throwing a party. If you’re feeling better, you should come.”
You thought over it.
“Maybe,” you replied. “Hey, why were you at the party last night?”
“Hm? Jun told me about it.”
Your eyebrows rose.
“What? Why?”
“He wanted to make sure you were watched well while you were drinking since you were nervous about it,” Jeonghan replied. “And he knew that I would kill him if something happened to you.”
“I can take of myself,” you murmured into the phone.
“I know,” Jeonghan agreed, and nothing in his words made you think that he was just saying it to make you feel better. “But isn’t it nice to have someone watching out for you?”
It was.
“I should get back to my place,” you said. “Maybe I’ll see you later.”
Suddenly a thought occurred to you.
“Hey if I don’t come to the party tonight, are you going to sleep with someone else?”
“Why’re you so interested in who I sleep with recently?” Jeonghan asked. “I thought you didn’t care.”
“I don’t,” you replied. “Just… Wondering. Do you use condoms with them?”
“I always use condoms,” Jeonghan replied as if it was obvious.
“But never with me,” you replied. He scoffed.
“Aren’t you the same person who was begging me for a creampie the first time with me?” He asked. You opened your mouth to argue with him, but then your mind flashed the memory of your first time with him.
“Goodbye, Jeonghan.”
Jeonghan laughed.
“Goodbye, y/n.”
You walked downstairs after getting changed, giving a drowsy smile to the boys in the kitchen. It was only Mingyu, Seungcheol, and Jun. You took a seat next to Jun, immediately getting a plate of eggs placed in front of you. You smiled at Mingyu.
“Thanks, I feel bad, you’re always feeding me.”
He waved away your concerns.
“It’s nice to feed someone other than the boys,” he assured.
“Are you feeling okay?” Jun asked you. He leaned close to you, peering into your eyes. “Jeonghan and I were watching you talk to that guy last night-”
“Yunjun,” you agreed with a nod. Seungcheol suddenly shifted on the other end of the table.
“Yunjun?” He asked. “How do you know Yunjun?”
You glanced across the table at him, your eyebrows furrowing.
“I had a fling with him,” you replied. Seungcheol’s face showed that he was troubled by your response. “How do you know Yunjun?”
“Mutual friends,” he replied. “Did he do anything to you?”
You could feel the gaze of all three boys on you.
“It’s just Yunjun,” you said with a laugh. “He’s harmless.”
“Jeonghan was pissed when he brought you in last night,” Mingyu explained. “We wouldn’t be concerned if it weren’t for just how angry he was.”
Your eyebrows rose in surprise.
“Angry?”
“He came downstairs after putting you up and sat for an hour building lego sets not saying a word. He didn’t really get anything done. That’s how you could tell he was mad. Then he went back upstairs to be with you,” Seungcheol explained.
“Nothing really happened,” you disregarded. “Jeonghan just gets jealous.”
The boys were silent for a few seconds. They clearly disagreed with something you had said. You weren’t sure what.
“Are you coming to the party tonight?” Jun finally asked. You shrugged.
“Maybe. I don’t know yet,” you said honestly. “My head hurts from the party.”
Seungcheol wordlessly got up and rummaged through a drawer for a moment before setting a bottle of ibproufen in front of you. You laughed dryly, shaking your head.
“You are a strange group of guys,” you said honestly. “You baby me just as much as Jeonghan does.”
The boys ignored your statement, and brought up something else. Luckily, giving you the chance to eat your eggs in peace.
Despite the weird air the boys gave off initially, being around them made you sure of one thing. Maybe another party was just what you needed. After all, last night your stress had momentarily been gone. What was the worst that could happen?
-
When you got to the Alpha Mu party your first thought was that you shouldn’t have come. Your head still hurt a little bit from drinking the night before. But, you wanted to see Jeonghan so you had wanted to come to the party either way.
You were sure that you could convince him to spend some time in his room if you found him soon anyways. You walked through the party but didn’t make it far before someone stopped you.
“Hey it’s y/n, right?”
Your eyebrows furrowed as you made out the boy standing in front of you. He was only slightly taller than you, his black hair in a bowl cut with wide eyes.
“Yeah…” You replied uncertainly. “Who are you?”
“Oh, right, you wouldn’t know me,” he replied with a hearty laugh. He held out his hand. “Hyeon.”
You dipped your head a little in greeting.
“Nice to meet you.”
It wasn’t though. He was giving off a strange air.
“I heard you had a run in with Yunjun last night,” Hyeon said. “I’m his friend. We met a little while after you stopped seeing him.”
Your eyebrows furrowed.
“Oh.” “And I heard that you like it rough in bed yeah? You like to be owned?”
The way he was speaking was making you a bit angry. The difference between today and last night being now that you weren’t drunk you had clarity over the situation. Hyeon was being a sexist asshole and it was making you angry.
However, before you could respond Jeonghan came up behind you, placing his hand on your shoulder. His grip was tight as he came to a stop beside you. You glanced over at him, noticing a really hard expression on his face.
“Oh, Jeonghan. I heard that you’re the man in the know,” Hyeon said, an even bigger smile crossing his lips. “Is it true that y/n is a pathetic slut in bed?”
Your eyes widened slightly.
“How did you hear about that?” You asked, but you supposed it was from Yunjun if they really were friends.
“Was I talking to you?” Hyeon asked roughly, his eyebrows furrowing. You blinked at the aggressive tone.
“Hey-” Jeonghan started, but before he could get more out you interrupted him by placing your hand on his chest and stepping closer to Hyeon.
“I’m sorry, what did you just say to me?” You asked, your voice getting deeper and your words getting curter.  Hyeon leaned closer, his eyes narrowing.
“I said I wasn’t talking to you,” Hyeon repeated. “Don’t you know better than to talk without permission?”
Hyeon shot you a cocky expression on his face.
“I guess you forgot Yunjun’s training,” he said. His gaze darted over your shoulder. “And Jeonghan hasn’t done well reminding you of your place.”
Your fist collided with Hyeon’s face before you could think about it further. Hyeon stumbled back, in surprise, you figured, not pain, and readjusted his jaw.
“What the-”
“Don’t talk about me like that. Not in front of me, not when I’m not around, not ever,” you snapped. “Just because I like it when Jeonghan treats me like that doesn’t mean I want to be treated like that by everyone. Especially not an ugly piece of shit like you.”
Hyeon squared his shoulders,
“Sorry Jeonghan I’m going to have to beat some sense into your little side piece-” Hyeon started to approach you again, raising his fist as he approached. You immediately regretted speaking. Your eyes widened and you raised your hands in front of your face, but impact never came.
“Hyeon, you seemed to not have heard what y/n just said.”
You looked up at Jeonghan to find that he had Hyeon’s fist in his hand and he was completely blocking Hyeon’s access to you with his body. You straightened back up, glancing around Jeonghan cautiously. Unlike earlier with you Hyeon actually looked a little scared looking up at Jeonghan who quite literally towered over him.
“J-Jeonghan, I was just joking-”
“Apologize,” Jeonghan said.
“Wh-what?”
“Apologize right now.”
Jeonghan let go of Hyeon’s fist, making him stumble a bit. He took one more glance at Jeonghan’s face and then immediately looked at you.
“I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean it.”
Jeonghan grabbed Hyeon’s arm and tilted it behind Hyeon’s back in a way that made him cry out.
“Not good enough,” Jeonghan said sharply.
You thought that this Jeonghan should seem familiar to you. After all, it should on paper be the same Jeonghan that you saw in the bedroom. Rough and stern and not going to leave without getting what he wanted.
But he was different somehow with Hyeon. For once, you were a little scared about what he was going to do.
“I’m sorry, I really am.”
Jeonghan scoffed and knocked Hyeon down to his knees. Once Hyeon was down there, Jeonghan pulled his head up by the roots of his hair.
“Why don’t you beg y/n for forgiveness?”
Hyeon pressed his lips together, clearly hesitating to do so but despite his hesitation: “Please forgive me.”
Jeonghan looked over at you, an amused expression spreading over his face.
“Ever wondered what you like when you’re with me?”
You rolled your eyes, a little flustered by the display in front of you.
“You seem like you’re enjoying this,” you mumbled.
“Not really,” Jeonghan replied. “I’d much rather it be you. It’s not enjoyable in the slightest to put Hyeon in his place.”
He tightened his grip in Hyeon’s hair.
“Well, do you forgive him?” He asked. You sighed and shrugged.
“I guess. I kinda feel bad seeing him like this. He can’t help that he’s a man.”
Jeonghan hummed and released Hyeon’s hair, throwing him forward so that he had to catch himself with his hands. He gasped as if he hadn’t been able to breathe before and looked up at you, this time a look of fear in his eyes.
“You two are crazy.”
And then Hyeon stumbled to his feet and rushed away, disappearing into the crowd of people that you couldn’t believe weren’t paying attention to the two of you.
You glanced at Jeonghan, but he wasn’t looking at you, instead he was squinting in the direction that Hyeon had rushed off in. Your eyes narrowed slightly as you looked at him.
“Why did you react like that?” You asked. Jeonghan hummed in question, merely tilting his head towards you in acknowledgment.
“React like what?”
“Like... That,” you emphasized. “Like... You cared about the fact that he was being a dick to me.”
“Why wouldn’t I care?”
“Because I’m just a fuck toy,” you blurted. This made Jeonghan look at you, his eyebrows raising.
“What?”
“I’m just a fuck toy,” you repeated. Jeonghan frowned deeply.
“You’ve got to stop saying that outside of the bedroom,” he mumbled. “You’re not just a fuck toy. Why would you refer to yourself like that to me?”
Frustration bubbled in your chest. You knew that Micah Salaberrios would be laughing at you right now. If you had used his nonviolent communication techniques earlier your feelings wouldn’t be boiling up like this.
Despite the dumb advice in Micah’s book you knew that there was one piece of advice you shouldn’t overlook. Don’t bring up the conversation right now when your feelings are just going to prevent you from talking rationally. Whatever you do don’t bring up-
“Why did you lie to me and tell me that you were fucking other people?”
Jeonghan’s confusion evaporated from his face almost instantly. His mouth closed and his fingers closed around your wrist.
“Maybe we should talk about this somewhere less public,” he mumbled.
“Why? You don’t want everyone to know? You lied to me about fucking other people.”
You grabbed a random girl.
“Want to fuck Yoon Jeonghan?” You asked. “Well, you can’t! Because he is only sleeping with me and yet is telling me that he is sleeping with someone else regardless.”
Jeonghan sharply tugged your wrist, and the girl gave you a weird look, but walked away with a slight reciprocated bow towards Jeonghan.
“Look we can talk about this,” Jeonghan insisted. “Just… Can’t you just come upstairs?”
You didn’t know why but you were mad. Too mad at Jeonghan to want to be rational. You hit his chest to which he sighed, wrapped his arms around your waist and tugged you up over his shoulder.
You yelped, causing a couple of people to glance over at the two of you. Embarrassment filled your body, more so even then when people referenced your sexual relationship with Jeonghan.
You hit Jeonghan on the back.
“Put me down Jeonghan!” You insisted.
“Just let me take you upstairs,” Jeonghan argued back.
It wasn’t that you didn’t feel safe. You always felt safe with Jeonghan. No matter how rough he was being, you knew at the end of the day he wouldn’t do anything you didn’t want him to do. A closed door conversation was exactly the thing that you two needed.
But fuck that.
“I think Jennie’s texting me,” you blurted at the top of your lungs. Jeonghan’s entire body froze and he had you steady on the ground so fast that you felt the world spin a little. Your eyes tried to focus on him, but for some reason you were crying.
“I’m sorry,” Jeonghan said softly and from what you could see of him (blurry Jeonghan was still stupidly attractive and serious) he did look like a reflection of his words.
“Don’t call me, Jeonghan.”
And with that you turned on your heel and left the party.
Part Six: Attention
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