#deleted the blog so posting here too

[small-but-mightyy]

Dear Neighbor,

#posted this on my old trauma blog #deleted the blog so posting here too #edited it some #sad letter #poem #dark poetry #traumatized #childhood trauma #complex trauma #ventcore #traumacore #mentally ill #actuallyneglected #actuallyabused #cptsd #ptsd #bpd #dissociative disorders #post traumatic stress syndrome #depressing #trauma #traumatic childhood #vent #abandonment #abandoned #child neglect #neglected

[hellsite-hall-of-fame]

Do you sleep with socks on

this is such a random ask that I feel like i’m morally required to answer it lol

and the answer is- this ✨mysterious✨ museum curator obviously never sleeps soooo that answers your question :)

#ask #the hellsite answers #anonymous #hellsite hall of fame curator’s bullshit #shitpost #shit post #also I actually haven’t been sleeping and just have been spending every waking moment texting #because like if I wasn’t a ✨mystery✨on here i’d SCREAM FROM THE TOO OF MY LUNGS THAT I HAVE A WONDERFUL GIRLFRIEND NOW #AND AM TOO DISTRACTED TO DO ANYTHING ELSE BUT TALK WITH HER AND AAAHHH #but i’m a complete and total ✨mystery✨ so i’m totally not saying that ahahaha nope #mysterious museum curator tour guide barbie obviously isn’t saying that and totally can contain her excitement and be so so chill about this #hahaha of course #you know it’s bad when I can’t help but EMOTION POST ON MY HHOF BLOG AAAHHH #help y’all I have to chill #definitely delete this tags later oops #I can’t not post them tho or I might explode #but also #like I didn’t post the other day for the first time in like 4 months #like wtf #am too busyyyyyy aaaahhh #this is when someone needs to scream ‘go to sleep miss curator’ into the void bc I might need that oops #this is a mega shitpost wow

[diorkyeom]

favourite pretty boys <3

#joshua #dk #dokyeom #it's as i'm typing these tags that im realising im putting this on the wrong blog..... #but i literally cannot be asked to delete and start a new post #do u know how long i struggled bc fucking TUMBLR decided it didn't wanna let me make posts #n e wayss this is the new header for this blog so im gonna post it here #seoksoo #useryenas #i have a full ver w mingyu in too actually #seventeen #svt #joshua hong #lee seokmin #seokmin #cheytermelon #wonranglee #userace #gifs

[likethevalley]

Ducks!

Ive posted this to other accounts but not here, so here are the ducks! The best spirits!

#this hoop took me two years to finish because of my own procrastination #but now its my favorite #also its posted to insta under likethevalley #and it may still be around tumblr under that name too #but i deleted that blog so the ducks get to live here now #embroidery #hand embroidery #handmade #slow art #my art #ghibli art #spirited away #studio ghibli

[2hoothoots]

i was having a chuckle to myself last night about Gristol, and how his plans are basically:

Restore Ford Cruller's memory

Find Maligula

???

Profit

but then... of course they are, right? this is Gristol we're talking about. Fatherland Follies drives home again and again that he's still operating on a child's logic, a warped and reductive version of the world that he never bothered to grow out of. both of his memory vaults center on the images of his childhood, this idealized version of the past that he clings to no matter what. and that's still how he remembers Maligula, too - as this saviour figure, who rushes in to help him when he's in trouble.

[ID: Two slides from Gristol's memory vault, Glory to Grulovia! Left: Gristol clings to Maligula's back as she summons waves to sweep away his assailants. Right: Gristol and Maligula waving from a balcony as the people cheer. Gzar Theodore brandishes a dagger in the background.]

like so much else, Maligula represents a return to this idyllic childhood - to the peace and simplicity of his youth, when he was free from worries and responsibilities. in his mind, he doesn't need to make any further plans - once Maligula's back, everything will go back to normal. Maligula will make everything better.

...is what i thought, but then i remembered this line:

[Screenshot source. ID: Gristol, in Truman's body, bows on his hands and knees in front of the newly-awaked Maligula. The caption reads: "Yes, High Priestess! I am here to correct the mistakes made by my father!"]

and that's kind of interesting, right?

to be clear: this happens directly after Maligula sees Helmut-in-Gristol's-body, and recognises him. her line before this is:

"Little Gzesaravich! Have you come to pay for your father's sins?"

my first thought was that Gristol hadn't expected to still be in Truman's body by the time he managed to find Maligula, and this was him trying to placate her and buy some time until he could explain the situation. but watching the cutscene back, that's clearly not what's happening here. Gristol is answering as himself, and his response of throwing himself to his knees before her is, as far as i can tell, genuine.

so what is going on here?

in Fatherland Follies, there's this line in the ride narration that stuck out to me:

"Why didn't the Gzar help Maligula in her time of need? No one knows, but historians agree - it is Gzar Theodore's biggest failure."

other lines mention Gzar Theodore's "mistake", and it's wording Gristol himself echoes in the screencap above. evidently, he believes that his father abandoned Maligula, leaving her to her fate at the hands of the Psychonauts, and it was that mistake that lead to them being driven out of the country - that mistake which he seeks to correct. maybe he even feels like he has a debt to repay to her for his family turning their backs on her all those years ago.

the 'High Priestess' thing, though - that's kinda weird, and threw me for a loop the first time i played the game. it took me until my second playthrough to connect the dots, and remember how the room in the Lady Luctopus - Gristol's room - was full of Delugionist scribblings and symbols.

[Screenshot source. ID: left, the walls of the hidden backroom in Gristol's hotel suite, covered in scrawlings of eyeballs and Maligula's name. Right, the pinboard from the hidden backroom. On its surface are photographs and newspaper clippings connected by pieces of string.]

i mean, look at this stuff! he had a whole conspiracy board and everything!

we learn very little about the Delugionists and their beliefs as a whole during the game, but i think drawing the connection here suggests two important things. one: that Gristol was in deep with this stuff. i don't know how he linked up with them - maybe via old family connections, or just good old-fashioned digging (we know he's skilled at worming his way into peoples' good graces, after all) - but it seems likely that he's begun to internalise their ideas, maybe even warping his own memories of events. and two: the Delugionists themselves are, if you'll pardon the pun, pretty far off the deep end.

like... i understand why PN2 didn't go heavy on the "mass-murderer cult worship" aspect of things, in the end, but man this is such a tantalising glimpse into the wider mythos around Maligula. Gristol is proud and haughty and thinks himself above everyone else; the fact that his first reaction seeing Maligula is to throw himself to the ground at her feet says so much about the way he's come to see her. he's not just trying to bring back Maligula, his childhood bodyguard. he's trying to bring back Maligula, the High Priestess of the deluge, the semi-mythical figure whose supporters believe even death couldn't stop. he doesn't even flinch at the way she confronts him, and maybe it's because he's bought in so completely to this deified figurehead, this idea of Maligula; more a living force of nature than a person. and it all comes back to the same place: an abdication of responsibility, not just to the person who protected him when he was little but to this avatar of floods and destruction. Maligula will make everything better.

i'd write more about my thoughts on the Delugionists but that'd be taking a hard turn into speculation, and this is already kind of long and rambling so i'd better end it here. but what an unexpected and evocative line, right? it's some of the only stuff we have to go off of regarding the Delugionists as a whole, but i think it does such a good job of hinting at the wider story - at teasing another layer to the mythos surrounding Maligula, one whose ripples we see throughout the game but which never quite breaches the surface.

#psychonauts #psychonauts 2 #bored waiting at the airport so you get more psychonauts meta from me #the delugionists have been on my mind recently (because i Might Just have an upcoming au lorepost about them and also cults are fun) #so tossing my thoughts up here because people seemed to like the last few times i did this #and also it's my blog and i like to talk :) #related vent i HATE drafting posts in the tumblr editor because if you hit crtl+z to try and undo a formatting change #it deletes like half the post you just typed out #(yes i did it again while i was writing this. yes i'm still salty. why do i even bother) #what else... this is just becoming a disconnected thoughts dump #but if you've seen my posts you knew what you were signing up for when you hit the button to expand the post tags #there's new art coming hopefully this weekend if i can get it finished! it's more mermaid au designs #i'm two and a half weeks late for mermay but it turns out starting a new job and moving house doesn't leave you with a ton of free time #but that's okay it's never too late for mermaids #omg and artfight's coming up next month too! geez #i gotta make refsheets for the fsau trio because i would LOVE to get art of them #and this year i don't have a thesis to crunch on so i might actually have time to participate #oh and then in august i'm having top surgery! will make a proper announcement post for it at some point #i say 'announcement'. it's just a life update but it's nice to share #i'm super excited about it :) #i might end up blogging the process and recovery but obviously it won't be going here lol. i'd put it on my main #idk if anyone would find it useful but when i first started looking into surgery i had like very little idea about the whole process #and it's only through joining a bunch of online support/discussion groups that i managed to find more info and resources #so hey it might be useful to share? we'll see #our flight doesn't land for another fifty minutes so now i'm just writing in the tags because i'm bored #alright i'll proofread this and then post it when i land and have signal again. peace out yall hope your pride month is going well

[littlemoriflower]

I went out with my friend yesterday 🩷✨

#‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚. my diary ‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚. #♡⋆⭒˚｡⋆𐂂 my pics ♡⋆⭒˚｡⋆𐂂 #mori kei #mori girl #i decided to post this one again #i let my insecurities get the best of me and i unfortunately ended up deleting the previous one #but now it's here to stay on my blog<333 #i decided that i felt cute and happy while wearing it so that's what truly matters #like i said in the previous post: #don't mind the hem of the skirt//it is bothering me too :'))))

[sprout-fics]

Google search: How to make fanfiction fun again

#I’m probably just hormonal or something stupid #but I’ve been getting really depressed about this blog recently and I’ve been thinking more and more about deleting and starting over #or leaving it as an archive and abandoning it #I get so stressed about posting and nervous about interactions and it’s ruining the experience for me #and I know it’s my fault because I’m just fucked up and in need of so much more therapy than I currently have #but at this point I’m forcing myself to have fun in here #it’s not coming naturally #and I have a really really hard time letting go of things that once brought me joy #so I’m kind of hanging on hoping things will get better but they aren’t #I’m not making any decisions yet #but I am going to start backing up my stuff and crossposting to ao3 so it’s all there too #and I’m sure someone is going to come and tell me this is the wrong reaction #so I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything

[marsbotz]

good news for all my haters: im not coming back. not properly. i think social media and being around ppl in general is destroying me so im gonna just focus my energy on other stuff

ill probably still be a little bit active occassionally but for now i think il just stick to posting art etc. im moving to sheezy.art (which is down for maintenance rn but opens for registration again on fridays!) bc the energy there is much nicer for me.. but ill still post on here and insta. im also gonna be working on building my own website again!! so bookmark it and maybe some day itll have cool stuff on it.... :]

#idk ill see how this goes but ive been like lurking here for a couple days and every time without fail it makes me feel shitty #may not be a permanent thing but i have a couple safeguards in place now to stop me from getting sooooo bad. i think #i deleted all the apps off my phone. which has helped a lot esp deleting insta for reels #and i actually made another blog for like if i ever go Cazy again. for like vents and stuff . altho if im not on social media at all it #shldnt be a prblem #i wont share that but u can ask for it if u want. tho unlikely ill post for a while idk #for the record my neocities has like nothing on it rn. its essentially a series of tests from when i started last yr #and got nowhere lollll.. but im hoping to have a lot of fun with it soon #lol this whole thing is a little stupid. and i feel bad but just know its all my own fault. my own issues etc #its happened b4 itll happen time and time again i think. so im just gonna part ways w it #from now on if im gonna overshare it has to be in a lengthy edited well written blog post !!!!!!!!!!! #oke. bye #i do actually have smth to post later on my rnm blog but whatevaaa #oh ill start up my queues again too

[coulsonlives]

So ummm, yeah, this person might have made some good posts in the past, but this is NOT okay.

They've also revealed themselves to be a TERF/radfem (their alt blog is balkanradfem).

#the link goes to an archived post where they reblogged a post they made on balkanradfem and acknowledged that was their blog too #(first paragraph in that post) #ofc they've since deleted it but it's archived so whoop #the only reason i'm not censoring their name is bc they're a big popular support blog that a lot of ppl trust #here's a tip from me: don't #furiousgoldfish #terf warning #ableism cw #forced sterilization cw #eugenics cw #aspd #antisocial personality disorder #terf ment cw #radfem ment cw #transphobia ment cw #child abuse ment cw

[mitsuristoleme]

hi

just a warning this might be a bit long so

im not sure how many people are gonna see this but

i think im gonna abandon my blog for a while

ill be back (again im not sure how many of you care)

i started this blog because i enjoy writing and dont get me wrong i still do. but its doing me no favours watching fics that i pour my heart and soul into, get barely any notes

i have a lot of thoughts regarding this that im not going to voice

but anyway

bye for now

#kay rambles #sorry lmao i deleted so much stuff from here #this is just a lot of disconnected thoughts ive had #ive seen too many people complain about their faves leaving tumblt #the lack of interaction is honestly disappointing #like obviously you can say it doesnt matter #but to some extent if writers and artists didnt want recognition we would just not post #theres a reason my fics are on my blog and not weirdly disconnected plot points and fantasies in my head #oh well #writers on tumblr

[is-this-tf]

Is it TF?

TF, as in Transformation, is a concept that can mean quite a few things to many different people- and when depicted in art or media, usually consists of some sort of physical or psychological transformation of one thing into another, often including the contexts before or after such a change occurs. 

For the purposes of this blog, the assumed pretense that the TF or TF-adjacent content depicted in posts on this blog being nonsexual in this manner is considered the default, and will be treated or engaged with as such unless clarified otherwise, but there are plenty of ways those who engage in TF art can enjoy it! There are many who consider it a paraphilia for themselves and commonly enjoy it as a sexual theme, but it is also quite common for people to enjoy it entirely nonsexually, as well- perhaps exploring it under a lens of gender, as a vessel or narrative device to communicate themes, or just liking it as an unrelated special interest... TF is fascinating and alluring concept in itself, regardless of the ways it can be enjoyed and explored.

I made this blog because I love it when I see people unintentionally making TF posts on tumblr. I feel like it happens a lot and I think it's really, really funny when it does, by accident or not. Feel free to tag me in posts or send in questions asking if something is TF, and I'll give my honest answer as an expert in the field myself. 

Don't forget, words to live by:

Primary tags: #this is tf, #this is tf art, #unintentional tf, #intentional tf, #definitely intentional tf, #not tf

#this is largely a g//mm//ck blog so i don't think i'll be like seeking out actual TF art or stories to rb? or at least not that often #although i could from time to time or link some if i really Really like it #i dunno i'll decide later #(edit: i think i will on occasion‚ and i'm putting any i rb under its own tag- check 'this is tf art' for what i rb here!) #is this tf #tf #this is tf #not tf #transformation #these will like primarily be post i'm just rbing from my dash but if people send me posts i can rb those too #by the way! if you also want to reach out to me if i reblog a post of yours that you want me to remove tags from or delete the rb altogether #feel free to message me and let me know and i'll do that! #this blog was inspired by another is-this-(shhh) blog but i wanted to do something with one of my own interests #one last thing- transformers fans i am so sorry. #i don't care about regular people not wanting to see transformation stuff‚ these blockable primary tags i'm using for this blog are for YOU #it's weird‚ but i made it with love. #💜 #pkosting

[oceanwithouthermoon]

the realization that tumblr does not work like twitter and i cant just vague post about random discourse or arguments otherwise people will wrongfully assume its about them has flipped my whole life upside down

#exaggerating obviously but still like i vague post so much #did not realize people thought this #like wdym i cant just vague vent about a random argument i had with friends #because at least one person will probably think im talking about them #especially with a blog dedicated to like a small fandom circle like saiki k #whoops! #i once vaguely posted about how i hate getting called boring for disliking toxic ships- #and i got an anon ask being like 'i feel like that was about me cuz i JUST posted a saiki k toxic ship post' #and i just deleted the ask cuz i was like haha thats dunb ofc it wasnt about anyone on here #why would i subtweet about people on here right on here #and not every one of my posts is about saiki k #not only am i in multiple fandoms but also not every post is even a fandom post #that post was about twitter discourse that was making me mad lmfao #then i slowly realized that thats common actually like people assume that shit a lot #whoopsy daisy #any time i post about fandom discourse too- #ppl always think im talking abt them but im always either talking about a post i didnt want to reply to cuz it was from years ago- #or sometjing i saw on like twitter or pinterest or tiktok #if u ever wonder if im vague posting about you- of course im fucking not #i would lowkey just reply directly tbh #lol this is why i hate when people ask me 'who is this about' cuz idk bitch someone who hasnt been active here for like three years- #or some random user on tiktok!! i dont know!!! #i think i did post directly abt someone here like once ? and it was cuz i was sure that person was like 14- #so i didnt want to reply to them and be all mad #so i posted about it cuz i was like well i see people do that a LOT so whatever #(talking about 'teruhashi ruins my gay ships cuz shes a stupid bitch woman🤓' btw) #even then i didnt rlly consider it like a callout post of them or anything cuz theyre just one person out of hundreds that have done that #sorry these tags are so long lol i just erm.. its kinda funny to me ig idk #meows post

[winternymphaea]

what i would gift you for christmas based off your blog ♡ for @27-moons

antique 1800s chainmail clutch

'obsidian' journal from peter pauper press

the 'luna somnia' tarot deck

silver 'man on the moon' brooch

#i'm so sorry i accidentally posted your ask too early and deleted it! ♡ but it here you go! #and thank you so much! i love your blog too ♡ it's gorgeous! #hope you enjoy ♡ #27-moons #christmas gift game

[rosysins]

ooc.

realizes that every time I draw eri the more he looks like a girl ...

#ooc: my art. #he's my pretty girl #just ramblings because im trying to figure out where to go from now cause #wow ons is one hell of a disappointment :DD #should i use this place a place to dump some ocs for a little bit before going back to an rp blog? #don't wanna delete cause im attached to the friends i made here ;;w;; #anyways no need to think too hard on it #i miss my boy so i'll just post some of my doodles for him #these are all my art but they all looks different from one another BHJREFBHJEJRBHF #I SWEAR I DREW ALL OF THESE!!

[spoopy-sloth]

I decided to watch the Latino Spanish dub of Promare last night, and I thought I should draw the two. There is sooooooo much queer (sub)text in the film, and the fact that there are people who don't see it baffles me.

I think they are pretty cute together.

#promare #galolio #galo thymos #lio fotia #spoopy-sloth art #not sure what else to tag this lol #the spanish dub is so good tho!!! it was fun to hear Galo say some Spanish slang #and it's a bit more gay too 😳 #originally posted this on my other blog but felt really weird about it so i deleted it and posted it here instead sjdflsdlfjl

[kawaii-kushami]

uhhhh hiiii

spicier & messier versions below 🥴

⬇️❗️mess version❗️⬇️

#kk art #sneeze kink #snz kink #this is literally the 2nd art ive posted here and its Like This 😭 #ive never drawn something this 🌶🌶🌶 im so scared i need reassurance before i regret posting this and delete it FHgjHf #def struggled with the anatomy/angles too 😭 augh #good time to remind kids to stay off my blog and also anyone who might know me irl 🤠