#day 5: flaw

[wowbright]

Fic: Recommend

Fandom/pairing: Glee, Kurt/Blaine

Event: December Klaine Fanworks Challenge 2023

Words: ~1500 words                                         

Rating: Teen and up

Summary: Although Kurt's faith has changed, he still manages to get his temple recommend renewed.

Notes: This is part of my Mormon!Klaine universe. It takes place after Out of Eden, which I am still in the process of posting to AO3. It’s among the possibilities for their future. Mormonsplaining and mild warnings in tags.

* * *

Kurt and his parents had always planned for him to do Finn's temple work when he got back from his mission. It had seemed the right thing at the time, a fitting way to honor the two young men’s brotherhood and make it even more real.

They hadn't seen its one glaring flaw: they were all assuming Kurt would return from Germany with the same faith he'd taken with him when he’d left.

“I'm not sure I'm going to be able to get my temple recommend renewed when I get back,” Elder St. James said to Kurt on their Lufthansa flight to New York. He was on his third Milka mini chocolate bar snatched from the candy buffet near the bathrooms on the lower deck, and Kurt was on his fourth.

“Why?” Kurt said. “Gluttony’s not against the Word of Wisdom. Besides, if chocolate and cookies are all they're going to offer us between meals and we're growing young men, we kind of have no choice. Besides, that breakfast was hardly a breakfast.”

“European breakfasts never are,” agreed Elder St. James. “But it's not the Word of Wisdom I'm concerned about. It's that question about sustaining all the leaders. I'm not sure I can answer ‘yes’ to that in good conscience. I mean, I voted to sustain them at the last general conference, but since my vote doesn’t actually mean anything since they just ignore the abstentions and opposition votes, am I actually sustaining them?”

“You pray for them, don't you?”

“Of course.”

“Well, I think that's what sustaining means—offering sustenance. With a child, that would mean giving them food and clothing and shelter and support and love. The leaders don't need those first three things from us, but they do need our support and love. And we show that by respecting them and praying for them.”

“Huh.” Elder St. James opened a fourth chocolate bar and took a thoughtful bite. “I suppose that works. I mean, it's not my fault that I can't actually sustain them in the vote sense, and the temple questions are supposed to be about things that are within our own control, so … Thanks, Elder Hummel. That helps.”

Kurt unwrapped his fifth chocolate. But before he could break off a piece, he started wondering if he was eating his feelings, trying not to think about what was actually happening, how he was currently vaulting through the sky at hundreds of miles an hour, every second pulling him farther and farther away from Blaine and closer to a future that he couldn't envision. Hmmm. Maybe he should eat his feelings. It was better than thinking about that. Besides, he felt nowhere near full.

“Do you have any worries?” Elder St. James said.

Kurt had so many worries, he didn't know where to start. Maybe he could mention how he didn't actually understand how planes stayed in the air and it was rather disconcerting to be hovering over the Arctic when he could easily imagine the plane just dropping out of the sky and plunging them into the icy water to their untimely deaths, and while he didn't fear for his own salvation, he did rather like this life they were currently living and also, it would be terrible for his parents to lose two sons in so many years. But before Kurt could think about whether this was an appropriate response, Elder St. James clarified, “About your temple recommend questions?”

Kurt gave his one-time companion a sharp look. “What's that supposed to mean?” The recommend questions included one about the law of chastity, and while Kurt knew he had done nothing wrong, it would be better if rumors didn’t spread. Blaine was still inside the mission.

“Nothing in particular.” The vacant look behind elder St. James's eyes seemed to confirm his sincerity. “I mean, you’re such a Peter Priesthood I figured you wouldn't have trouble with any of them. But maybe I was hoping, just a little, that you were in the same boat as me.”

“What boat is that?” Kurt asked.

Elder St. James popped the rest of his chocolate bar into his mouth and chewed it slowly. He didn't speak again until he had swallowed it all. “I don't know. Not as excited about all this church stuff as I was when we were on the plane out here? I mean, I don't even know if I want to go to the temple again.”

"Well, the temple is –" Kurt looked over your shoulder to make sure no one was listening. He had, perhaps, become a little too used to speaking about the temple freely with Blaine. “–it's a lot different from every day worship. And the sessions are long. But I want to go back. I have work to do for my stepbrother.”

The necessity of that work, Kurt’s obligation to his family—they had nagged at Kurt as he’d weighed the risks of becoming physically intimate with Blaine. It had felt like another unfairness imposed on him by the church, forced to choose between loyalty to the family he came from and commitment to the family he was discovering in Blaine.

But as time passed and Kurt got closer to leaving Germany, denying the gift Blaine was offering him had begun to feel like a sin bigger than any lie Kurt might tell the bishop. And he had discovered just how true that was when they finally slept together: being intimate with Blaine, Kurt had felt for the first time what it must have been like to be one of those legendary first humans, before sin and pain existed, when they felt no shame in their nakedness or the bodies that had been gifted them. Their love was sinless because it grew from that same place without sin.

So it was with a clean conscience, upon returning to Ohio, that Kurt answered yes to his bishop’s question of Do you obey the law of chastity? Kurt’s actions with Blaine had been authentically chaste—reserved for one’s spouse, pure in conduct and intention, free of coercion, seeing the full humanity of the other person and loving them for it. Blaine was his other half in the truest sense, regardless of whether the church or the law recognized it.

Nor did Kurt have any qualms about professing his testimony in God the creator or in Jesus Christ or the restoration of the gospel—his faith in these things was even deeper than before he left on his mission, though in a way he would never have expected.

Even Do you support, affiliate with, or agree with any group or individual whose teachings or practices are contrary to or oppose those accepted by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints? was easy to answer the right way, because the only teachings “accepted by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints” were those that had come before the general conference for a vote of common consent. The Proclamation on the Family wasn't one of those things. And besides, he was pretty sure the question was mainly meant to root out polygamists.

Do you keep the covenants that you made in the temple? and Do you strive to keep the covenants you have made, to attend your sacrament and other meetings, and to keep your life in harmony with the laws and commandments of the gospel? were harder. Kurt wasn't even sure he remembered all the covenants he had made in the temple. But the ones he remembered, and the ones he had honestly agreed to, with full understanding—he strove to keep those. As for keeping his life in harmony with the laws and commandments of the gospel, he was more committed to doing that than he’d ever been, even if his understanding of “the gospel” was probably different than his bishop’s.

“Have there been any sins or misdeeds in your life that should have been resolved with priesthood authorities but have not been?” the bishop asked.

“No,” Kurt answered.

“And finally,” the bishop said, “do you consider yourself worthy to enter the Lord’s house and participate in temple ordinances?”

No more or less than any other of God’s children, Kurt thought to say, but he knew it wasn't the answer the bishop was looking for and would only confuse him. “Yes,” Kurt said.

The bishop signed the recommend and sent Kurt on his way with a smile and a handshake and, “Now, don’t spend all your time at the temple. Your first priority now that you've gotten back from your mission is to find a wife.”

“Thanks for the advice," said Kurt, trying to accept it in the same well-meaning spirit it was given.

Then it was rinse and repeat with the stake president, and Kurt had his recommend. Alone in the car, he turned the card over in his hand, staring at the movement of light over its barcode and lettering. “Finn,” he said, “I hope you’re ready for this.”

#december klaine challenge 2023 #day 5: flaw #mormon!klaine #wowbright writes fic #klaine fic #klaine fanfic #klaine fanfiction #Mention of eating lots of chocolate #Finn being dead #and panicky thinking due to fear of flying. #A temple recommend is a card church members need in order to go inside a Mormon temple.

[gleefulpoppet]

Chapter 5: Tobogganing Penguins [~730 words] @klaineadvent December Challenge [Day 5: Flaw]

And the other part of his brain is screaming, “Are you kidding me? The ‘you can be friends’ argument is always flawed when you already feel this way! Look at him!"

You can read more on AO3 [here]. Or start from the beginning [here].

#gleefulpoppet writes #victoria keep your secrets #december klaine fanworks challenge #day 5: flaw #glee #klaine #klaine fanfic #klaine fanfiction

[beesinspades]

happy pride month from vash the stampede!!!! 💜 seeing all the ace vash art makes me so happy I wanted to contribute!

#trigun #trigun maximum #trigun fanart #asexual #vash the stampede #trimax #re: charms if it happens shipping will be from belgium jsyk!! #he makes me so happy!!! #AND WHAT IF I TEAR UP?? WHAT THEN???? #you guys i didn't know something i made could make me feel this way #i spent an embarrassing amount of time on it sdfjbkln #i'm posting it now because if I don't i'm gonna spend another 5 hours on it #granted i could still end up tweaking it and just editing my post bUT STILL #for context i'm not great at art i barely ever draw but i want to improve so i decided to draw one vash every day of june #i've been seeing a little bit of improvement and when I drew this one he was pretty flawed but also he made me so happy that i was like #ok i'm cleaning it up and fixing it digitally #and now 12+ hours of work later here we are #ANYWAY ANYWAY I'M RAMBLING #THANK YOU FOR THE ACE VASH ART THIS MONTH YOU GUYS INSPIRED ME PLEASE KEEP IT COMING #it clears my skin waters my crops #also pls don't follow me for this i post art once every six months at best you'll be disappointed!! i'm a writer first and foremost #anyway gotta go draw today's vash weehee! #bee draws #ace vash tag

[golden-letters]

it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury / signifying nothing.

#people: how was your day #me: the tragedy of macbeth act 5 scene 5 line 25-27 #macbeth #the tragedy of macbeth #tragedy #fatal flaw #harmartia #writeblr #light academia #vent #poemblr #chaotic academia #dark academia #poetry #quotes #burnt out #aesthetic #shakespeare #nihilism #existentialism #philosophy #morality #existence #soliloquy #literature #english literature #lit #quote #excerpts #quotations

[alectology-archive]

my first contact with the moiraine/siuan brainrot was after I read that great hunt scene where siuan told moiraine, “You are the only one, Moiraine, with whom I can remember who I was” (I read new spring only a month later because of that specific scene) and then a week or two later the ship went canon on the show and I was like. oh, I keep winning.

#sure the show is very flawed but at least we got that #I can’t even begin to imagine how satisfying it must have felt for long-time book fans #text #on a similar level of comedy is how my goodreads technically says I took a month to read teotw #but I actually actively read and finished 80% of the book in 5 days #the beginning 20% was very slow and very harsh #wheel of time #moiraine damodred #siuan sanche

[spongeybubbles]

so hard being a patbob girl in a squidbob world..

#patbob #spongeblabbles #girl* (gender neutral) #no offense to squidbob tho i love them too #just crazy how i still find patbob hate in the tag when its nearly 2024 #like i thought we were over this childish behavior of unnecessary ship hate? #was gonna go on a super long rant abt how ppl are hypocritical with pointing out all the flaws with patbob yet not doing the same 4 squidbob #and how normalized squidbob is both in and out of the fandom yet ppl will look at u sideways for shipping patbob #but its really late and i dont have the energy for all of that so enough of the negativity #shoutout to like the 5 other active patbob fans on here in this day and age. love yall you guys are some real ones 💯💪🔥

[dragynkeep]

-

no genuinely. if yang was supposed to be overprotective, maybe their very first scene with her & ruby in beacon shouldn't be her ditching ruby to go spend time with her nameless friends. yang has never had an overprotective nature, it's always been a writer informed trait.

#submission #im all fine even glad with yang not being overprotective #im all good with her having flaws as a sister and as a person #as long as at the end of the day said flaws are acknowledged and not glossed over #the peak of her “overprotection” was back in volume 5 #<<< submission tags #rwby #rwde #ais.txt #answered #q

[vvanessaives]

— OCS AS CHARACTERS

tagged by @denerims and @faarkas thank you both so much this was so much fun!!

rules: take this quiz and share 5 (or more! or less! the world is your oyster!) results from the top 50 that you feel really fit your oc(s). if you don’t recognize very many from the top 50, feel free to expand into the top 100.

tagging: @devilbrakers @nuclearstorms @girlbosselrond @morvaris @uldwynsovs @arklay @reaperkiller @shadowglens @calenhads @steelport @swordcoasts @saintjudegf @risingsh0t @florbelles @indorilnerevarine @malefiicarum @nuwanders @jendoe @honeysofte @jacobseed @nokstella @druidgroves @aelyosos and YOU!

katniss everdeen - the hunger games

buffy summers - buffy the vampire slayer

elizabeth bennet - pride and prejudice

cassie thomas - promising young woman (this is so important 2 me..)

vi - arcane (👀)

(honorable mentions of the top 100: princess fiona (ofc the one, the only, the legend shrek); john wick; thomas shelby (peaky blinders) immediately followed by polly..girlboss moment; danny ocean (ocean's 11), mentioning this for reasons)

spike spiegel - cowboy bebop

jimmy mcgill - better call saul (?? dhfjshk)

rusty ryan - ocean's 11 (looks @ ryan & danny homoerotic relationship, looks at vesper & fenix.)

fleabag - fleabag ((:

jack twist - brokeback mountain

agent smith - the matrix

(mentioning this just bc it fucking killed me and it was the second match: christian grey, fifty shades of grey............)

sun bak - sense8

kaz brekker - shadow and bone

gus fring - breaking bad (in my mind akira is one of mr. esposito's villain personas)

hannibal - hannibal (longest yea i ever did)

(honorable mentions of top 50 bc these were literally the first 10 only: coriolanus snow (hunger games); logan roy (succession); silco (arcane); edward cullen (twilight, this is the skin of a killer h*nako) JDSHFKJHSD)

shiv roy - succession

lady macbeth - macbeth

amy elliott dunne - gone girl (i'm the cunt u married fr)

villanelle - killing eve

beth dutton - yellowstone (second longest yea of my life)

glenn rhee - the walking dead

marianne - portrait of a lady on fire

peeta mellark - the hunger games

davos seaworth - got

remy - ratatouille (PLEASE I LOVE U SM JOELLE)

cece parekh - new girl (<3)

jesper fahey - shadow and bone

rapunzel - tangled

satine - moulin rouge!

pippin took - lord of the rings

#tag games #i love this type of quiz. i could do this for all my ocs fr. i didn't pick the top 5 for everyone but just the ones i liked the most bc yea #vesper having katniss as first match. yea i'll obsess over this for the next 5 days. AND cassie. it means the world to me #akira i'm so sorry btw for having the grey guy as your second top match i literally don't know what went wrong :// #also eva had patrizia reggiani (gucci guy wife) in top 100 which is. funny i guess bc i once saw one of her interviews and she was like #'i have one flaw i don't know how to aim right (FKJDSH???) so i had to find someone (to kill my husband for me/she literally says #i needed some beagle boys)' and huh. just. yea #oc: vesper #oc: fenix #oc: akira #oc: evangelia #oc: joelle #oc: nina #FENIX WITH FLEABAG BTW I'LL KILL MYSELF

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

imagining an alternate eotd where when asked about her confusing gay crush under threat of daleks one neuron in yazs brain fired differently and instead of going with "i dont know what you mean" she said "yes". same but opposite energy of when the doctor asks if shes a bad date and yaz super boldly just says "no". same but opposite.

because like imagine youre dan. he probably already had a good guess about what the situation was but his assumption being wrong is not out of the realm of possibilities. the idea that they could have talked about is not out of the realm of possibilities! if youre dan! if you just got here. if you didnt see all of s12.

like just imagine that scene! yaz just baldfaced lying as a way to like, bounce the idea off of him plus double duty to affirm her own beliefs that like the doctor never would plus triple duty paralleling 11x4 for 13 to ensure dan is never gonna ask about this again.

and WE'D KNOW. WE'D FUCKING KNOW. it'd be such a doctor move.

"have you ever told her?" "told her what?" "how you feel about her" "...yes." "well what did she say?" "i think you can guess" yaz snaps because she thinks she can. she has guessed or assumed or sort of correctly inferred a while ago that like, nothing is going to happen here, theres no point in her saying anything because the doctor isnt interested. and dan is like "i find her kind of hard to judge actually" because he still wants to hear an actual answer from yaz but yaz just laughs and goes "tell me about it" and then shes saved by a dalek.

of course we still want dan forcing their hand but thats easy to arrange by instead of him going all battering ram with "she likes you" in the next scene he just has to mention it. and i dont really know how he'd mention it because im not really sure how this would look to him.

so particulars to be determined but he does mention it In Some Way and now theres the doctor in a situation yaz indirectly accidentally put her in where shes suddenly having a Lot to process and also shes gonna lie about :) shes gonna lie about it so hard :)

maybe dan's guess is that whatever the doctor said was less-than-definitive ie vague as fuck because hes known her for like a week and has already seen how good she is at explaining herself and also because of yazs bitter "tell me about it" so maybe what he says is like "you better not be stringing her along"

and the doctor, in her perfectly inscrutable grey area between true What The Fuck Are The Humans Talking About This Time and a carefully crafted mask of obliviousness, goes "string her along what"

"i just mean that you gotta make sure your intentions are clear because it's really not fair to keep her guessing, and hoping"

and the doctor says "i dont understand what youre saying dan" because she really doesnt <3

and dan can still say his canon line "i think that you do, but you pretend that you dont" and in this case hes wrong, but he still hits the mark, wrong calculation right answer because the doctor is still like Fuck.

because she does know, of course. she does know about yaz and shes knows about herself and she knows what shes avoiding. and she will still do the same thing in sea devils. and this weird little lie yaz told will probably never come out. the doctor and her talk, dan isnt there, never sees how New this all is. the doctor has no reason to find out what yaz said to dan.

but we know. we know!!! we get to see this whole comedy of errors play out and still somehow arrive at the same answer. we have to live with how clearly none of them correctly assume each other's understanding of the situation. it'd be frustrating as fuck and such a nice encapsulation of what thasmin has been since the beginning. these half-communications that bounce off each other kind of painfully like billiard balls.

they would never find out. sea devils and potd play out exactly as they did and nobody would ever know. except us. it's a portrait of their shared fatal flaw finally laid out for us in broad daylight at the exact moment they come together. and only we can see it.

#thasmin #rewrite notes #now that ive imagined it i like this more than canon fhkjghjkg #it adds something and takes nothing away #and also it doesnt give dan like. perfect insight #bc like. idk i just like it if their neuroses are like all so tangled up together that they cant really see it #but also theyre right? #like theyre not right but like. both 13 and yazs choices in their relationship make total sense!! #it's not like oh haha they cant talk to each other lesbian sheep syndrome it's #a fucking tragedy #the decisions theyve made the ways theyve responded to circumstances and each other make sense you can totally see the reasoning #you can see how they got here #like this accidental hole they dug #and it's BECAUSE of this shared flaw of Im Just Gonna Keep It All Right Here In My Chest And Then One Day I Die #anyway #not that dan just like. intuiting the situation and moving it along Necessarily implies all that #just that i like it more when he Cant actually intuit the entirety of whats going on here bc it's like 5 years of Complicated #in so many ways #so he still moves things along but his assumptions are wrong and he gets lied to by yaz just as hard! #you know! #bc yaz is the doctor and the doctor lies and hes his companion so. she lies to him

[waterdeepthroat]

i know i kinda have a reputation to uphold as an astarionposter but like. he's not even my fav character in bg3...

#my ranking of the companions would be: #1. shadowheart 2. jaheira 3. lae'zel 4. astarion 5. wyll 6. halsin 7. karlach 8. gale and then minsc/minthara bc i haven't recruited either #idk i just really love how jaheira was portrayed in bg3 and i feel like she doesn't get enough love #+ lae'zel's story arc may not be as compelling to me personally as astarion's but. gith lore is like my absolute fav thing and i love her s #and i've already talked loads about how shadowheart is my no. 1 #re: wyll i actually really like him and he would've been ranked higher if i hadn't played early access. i miss his more playful side tbh #halsin ranks higher than karlach or gale because of how much his being canon polyam means to me. also he's funny as hell #karlach and gale's stories just didn't resonate as hard with me ig?? i love them all they're just not my favs #there's literally no companion i actively dislike which is v strange bc in most games i usually HATE at least one. #in dao i HATED sten. in da2 it was seb. in dai it was cassandra. in poe2 it was pallegina. in nwn2 it was bishop. in wotr it was daeran #anyway i could go on and on about how larian made fundamentally flawed but still likable characters. i just love them sm. #edit: even though gameplay-wise wotr is one of my top games ever. i actively hated like half of the companions lmao #lmk if you want me to make a post about who i like and why in pfwotr bc i am Very Opinionated

[ryutarotakedown]

and it's like, stronghart isn't lying when he says this will ruin the legal system as we know it. he's right. we know he's right. it's why the judiciary starts chanting his name; because they know exactly what kind of person he is, but they're more afraid of that collapse than of him

stronghart is right when he says the outcome of 2-5 will break the british judicial system

and the 221b family looks him in the eye and says, we don't care

#2-5 has some flaws but MAN the things it gets right. MAN #tgaa spoilers #tgaa2 spoilers #tgaa 2 spoilers #dgs spoilers #dgs2 spoilers #dgs 2 spoilers #the great ace attorney #dai gyakuten saiban #tgaa #dgs #okay i think we're good. #jules.txt

[ezraphobicsoup]

exams really just go on forever and ever and ever and ever

#sorry about this one but it’s just hit me that i’m literally not getting a break cause of the german listening #3 days between them i guess and then that’s it we’re back with 6-7 hour school days #how the hell do they think this is sustainable we just don’t get to stop ever #what’s the line like. it keeps happening it fucking keeps happening and i just want to lie down without needing to be doing something else #hghhhgvhnbgghhbghnbghvvbvav #the biggest break it’s possible to get is one school week. 5 days without exams or revision sessions jesus christ what are they doing #and i know i know it’s not their fault and that ultimately it’s an inherent flaw within the way exams work #and that actually they probably don’t want this either. but could they at least say that to us at some point #if they just went hey this sucks but this is what you’ve gotta do and offered a shred of sympathy rather than just shitty #seemingly non genuine positivity i would feel so much better #ok. ok i’m more normal having said all those words probably still gonna post this but then like delete it later or something #i’ll be fine i’m just so tired and will apparently be so tired for the foreseeable fr #but then there’s the future beyond what’s foreseeable and it’ll all get better then. it’ll be fine #ezra’s real life rambles

[talentforlying]

i have like four separately-dated posts in my drafts that are all completely unrelated to constantine, they're just me being excited about the concept of 'the end' in the magnus archives being self-terminating and self-defeating to the point where it might, by its very nature, have contributed to the creation and inevitable triumph of the extinction. what was happening in my life to get me so hype about this.

#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS. #i think it was when i started thinking about adding jallakuntilliokan to my multi?? that would make sense #the god of all gods born of and dependent on humanity for its survival potentially bringing about their (and its own) destruction? yeah #and i made jallaklavi an avatar of the extinction for their tma au so i was probably going apeshit on the background lore #anyway i fucking LOVE oliver banks's season 5 statement it fascinates me to no end (badum-tss) #i am absolutely obsessed with the notion of entities beyond the scope of potential human victory being self-obliterating #it's the most existential expression of hubris as a fatal flaw in my mind #like: you are going to win. you Know you are going to win. and winning is more important than anything that comes after #solely by virtue of it being YOUR time of victory. and then the dust settles and you're left to realize: oh. all i have won is my death #does that make ANY fucking sense? i love the magnus archives. i'm obsessed with the extinction #anyway i'm still at work but i will be fuckin around when i get home and trying to reply to messages. hope everyone's day has been good!

[a-very-fond-farewell]

fellas the grind is turning my right arm into dust and there’s no sexual innuendo in there bc

so to the keyboard we go instead!

#sneaky niki #lamb loose liveblogging #using this format again bc that edit is still funny to me #anyway I miss drawing #I would really like to draw some of YGG’s fits but with this fucked up hand situation that I have going on I don’t think I can #so to the typewriter we go #not literally although that would be great #me going *clackity clack* on one of those babies #it’s currently 5 and smth a.m. #theme of the day: YGG is impatient and bitchy and we love her #classic trope of: great character. terrible person #perfect time for a little exploration of her way of thinking #basically if you ask her to let you be for a couple of weeks or so she’s going to grow bored of you and remind you of your place #I feel like her unpredictability is her biggest flaw #she’s different from SDY in the sense that SDY does know how to play to society’s rules #he’s not pretending to be smth he is not. he just hides the scary bits in front of potential investors and clients #he even brought KJY a stupid plant once. it’s the bare minimum but he knows he has to do it otherwise people will nag about that #HDS on the other hand is split in half which can’t be healthy: he’s so ashamed to be seen as a gangster that he compartmentalizes too much #YGG has made her life The Trend. she is The Moment. #people want to be her and channel her power #imagine c//oco c//hanel but make it more evil somehow #the minute people think they got the YGG’s lifestyle covered from the A to the Z.. she flips and changes #and somehow she’ll make fun of you for even trying #she will steal your original idea and corner you for plagiarism #she’ll feel amused you tried to copy her and offer u a position in her company just to fire you before a big deal so you can’t reap benefits #she doesn’t abide to societal norms one bit. she makes new rules instead #and she gets away with it bc (in true Boa fashion) ‘she is beautiful ✨’ #so yeah. HDS is dealing with THAT and signed a contract with THAT piece of work :I #no wonder KOJ tried to escape her #ok these are the vibes for today! have a great time peeps :)

[feua]

*taps mic* this thing on?

#r.txt #hi hi hi i miss being active sm i hate school :| #i still need a new computer too cause rn i cant run sims with anything installed it sucks ass #im excited for infants tho!!!! and the new pack im foaming at the mouth why do they make us pay for basic game things its so lame but wtvr!! #im just popping in for a min im on spring break but i still have hw :'(( #just a few more months and maybe i can get a job and save enough for a new pc lets hope #im taking a photoshop/illustrator class and i rly hate my prof i havent learned anything i didnt already know #and we have to use MACS :| actually wanna fight its me vs apple products till i di #e #ive been playing vanilla for a bit and its not as fun but its alright #ive uploaded some houses to the gallery if anyone is interested ig i could post those to be semi active #i have literally sm to do in my life i hate being old (19) im basically dead #i say it every time but im going to make my return one day i swear it i love this community despite its many many flaws i miss everything #unfortunatly i have to deal w an 8-5 school schedule twice a week the rise and grind mindset is not for me #if i get time i might try to post more silly updates ive been doing but for now au revoir (adios) (im into tfb now smile) #ok bye aggain 4 nowsies

[oatbugs]

thinking abt that psychology lecture where they taught us how thinking about good memories makes your life obiectively better over time

#personal #i think i subconsciously equated memory and nostalgia. and i dislike the feeling of nostalgia so i avoided so many memories #i asked the masters student if every love song he listens to is about philosophy and he said everything is #everything is about the thing you love if you love it enough. i saw a star through the london light pollution (caught in an eternal nightly #daylight) . i was with a friend and another friend who had just gotten an unexpected diagnosis #we told her congratulations you're autistic and that means you may now explore a revolutionary depth #inside yourself. and it was all still about philosophy. (you sent us back a letter in said in capital letters #THE UNIVERSE IS GOING TO CATCH YOU.) one day i grabbed my friends arm and we jumped over a rusted metal fence #the soap-beaten bleach-eaten clothes i was wearing at the time still smell like rust and metal #for a brief moment i sympathise with the rusted case of a computer i saw when i was 5. i wondered if it had died #violently. i am spending my life protecting their ability to learn. and each time i ask a neural network what led to its choice of #planetary object it gives me the same blank stare of a young child which is in truth a black box to drown in. #when i was too young and i used to think of death too often i imagined my body was a machine. i imagined #liquid gold around my joints. i could never hurt a machine. i could never hurt a body that was a machine. #my neuroscience professor paused after a long lecture and told us #your body is not a computer，it is a flawed and gooey and imprecise mechanism. your nervous sytem is an intricate machine. #is every song about philosophy? is every song about the way machines learn? on the weekend i ignore the parts of him that have #rotted and pull the passion right out of his nerves. he told me he needs a way to kickstart critical periods so that he may learn well agai #and i told him taking every drug on the planet wont make a clever brain cleverer. he confessed he didnt plan #on making it far enough for it to matter. i checked his pulse and i told him that his body is a liquid imprecise delicate machine. #sometimes you become terrible but you are not an exception to being a winged thing. if you hold me you will smell like metal for the rest #of your life.