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#dark won't ever say it but his own driving force too being a sense of surprisingly protective and righteous love
dnangelic · 7 months
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idc about allonormativity but sugisaki's handling of things is vague enough around the edges that i can still put forward the thematic thesis of 'anybody who doesn't want to be alone shouldn't be alone' and 'lives and people's souls/hearts, like art, can be freely shared with each other and witnessed in order to be good and beautiful' and that sort of thing is like almost the entire driving force of daisuke's character. to me.
#its only a tiny tweak from canon but the way i write daisuke its love Periodt that transforms him#any sort not just romantic. and hes a guy with pure agape baby hes got Loads of Passion#dark is his proof daisuke is dark's proof but it's only daisuke who's too shy to ever readily admit to anything#his self esteem is bad so he's always concerned that others might dislike him if he admits anything#the other niwas also struggled w dark but i don't think they ever struggled as much as daisuke#and yet daisuke's also the only tamer to meet dark's feelings at an equal place and actually willingly merge#dark won't ever say it but his own driving force too being a sense of surprisingly protective and righteous love#beginning with manisumea ending with the niwas. he steals the art because the hikari don't love and tend to destroy it#he wants to coexist with the niwa so he doesn't go on a rampage like krad does. love intermingles sorrow/hatred takes away#anyways its like yeah love transforms but will other people still accept you for that. are u someone who's willing to accept others for it#an insecurity can become a secret and that applies to just about anybody#daisuke's heart is one that bleeds for everything and everyone and that's actually always part of why he doesn't say anything#not just bc he doesn't want to get in trouble but he doesn't want to hurt people like riku either#alas to be wholly loved u have to be wholly witnessed.#ykno....#im rambling. aldkjlskjgkj#*・゚⊰ 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐒. ⊱ ✦ › OUT.#reference.
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humongouscatfan · 1 year
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I Like Me Better When I Am With You (Chapter 1)
Your POV:
You pause, turning to look at the clock. Sure, you had woken up a bit late today, but still it was a little early for visits. Maybe the girls forgot something last night so they came by to pick it up? They did leave in quite a rush.
You put your phone down. Rhaena will have to wait for a little longer while you go answer the bell.
You open the door without bothering to look through the peephole. You instantly regret it when dark eyes meet yours.
Jace Velaryon is standing on your doorway. He is wearing a red sweatshirt and loose dark blue jeans. His hair looks neat and soft like he had spend a lot of time tending to it. His skin is a bit more tanned than usual and you remember Baela had mentioned he was going camping with Luke a few days prior.
His eyes wander up and down your body. To your horror, you are suddenly reminded that you are still wearing your pyjamas.
"Hi," you break the silence finally.
You force yourself to smile and try to act natural. But your voice still comes out much shakier than you would prefer.
You think you catch his cheeks grow rosy but your hopeless brain must have made that up.
"I was just taking Vermax out for a walk," he motions down.
You blink. You had been so shocked by his presence that you had barely noticed the Great Dane at your feet. It barks at you and you jump back instictively.
Jace grabs him by the collar and holds him back while you gather your cool.
"Bad boy," he chastises the dog and it whines softly.
Jace straightens up and clears his throat. This time, you are certain he is blushing.
"Sorry. He does not bite. As I was saying..." he seems to struggle with finding the words for a moment "I wanted to ask you if you wanted to come with me. To walk Vermax."
Your jaw almost drops to the floor. Your childhood crush is standing in front of you and asking you to walk his dog with him. Sure, he does not mean it romantically, but still your heart is bursting against your chest.
You secretly pinch yourself and can't hold back a little smile when the pain curses through your skin.
"Sure," you are almost ready to leap out on the street with him when you realize you are still in your pyjamas "Uhm, actually, I need to change first."
He blinks and looks down at your clothes again. His mouth forms an O as if he had forgotten about that part too.
"Yes, of course,"
"Just give me a minute," you say and rush up to your room.
You swear you hear muffled mutters behind you.
As you put on your clothes, your mind strays. What has caused this? Jace was never distant or anything. You are best friends with his step sisters after all. But you cannot remember the last time the two of you had been all alone together.
Are you overthinking this? Maybe his other friends are just busy? Or maybe it had something with Baela or Rhaena? You hope it's not that. Either way, you certainly won't refuse.
As you are making your way back down, you have forgotten everything about Rhaena and her cryptic apology. You smile at Jace and tell him you are ready. He answers with a smile of his own.
The two of you begin walking around the block. An uncomfortable silence lingers between you, the only source of sound being Vermax's occassional yappings. You don't know what you are supposed to say or do so you simply try to match Jace's pace.
Your eyes stray, however, and take him in. Jace has changed a lot since you first saw hin standing across your drive away. He has gotten much taller, his chest is broad and toned. The lines of his face have grown more prominent and you can barely rip your gaze away from his chiseled jaw. He looks how you imagine a fairytale prince would look.
You are so distracted you also miss that he has noticed you staring. When you do, you turn your face down to the pavement and pretend it is the most fascinating thing you have ever seen.
"It's strange, you know. I don't feel like we have ever talked. I mean, we obviously have, but it has never been just the two of us. I feel I am not making any sense,"
"No, I understand what you are saying," you hurry to reassure him.
Baela and Rhaena. Lucerys and Joffrey. Someone was always around. This, the two of you, walking side by side, no one else to distract you carries a certain weight you can't put your finger on.
You realize you are getting closer to your home. You are not sure if you want to get there faster or stay here like this forever.
Jace opens his mouth to speak but then quickly closes it again. His eyebrows are furrowed and he ignores Vermax's barks. He seems to be in deep thought.
You are in front of your house. You both stand there. He is avoiding your eyes. You are expecting for something, you don't know what.
When another moment passes without it arriving, you sigh.
"Thanks for the walk. Let's do it again some time-,"
"Wait!" he exclaims.
You are taken aback by his tone. You stop in your tracks and stare into his intense eyes.
"I wanted to say something else," he admits.
You wait patiently as he digs his hands in the pockets of his sweater. Your whole body freezes when you see the familiar pink paper.
God, no. This can't be happening. Anything but this.
"I just wanted to say-,"
"No," you shut him down.
He looks up at you, shocked at your bluntness. You hope he does not notice your trembling hands.
Your breath rate quickens as you jump into fight or flight mode.
"Uhm, later!" you add hurriedly "I have something really important to do right now."
"Really?"
Does he sound disappointed? You shake the thought away.
"Yeah! My... ah. My..."
Think, Y/N. What do people usually worry about?
"I have to go feed my grandma,"
What is wrong with you?!
"Can't it wait...?"
Well, since you had already said that idiotic lie might as well stick with it!
"No. Absolutely not. You don't know my grandma. She is a right tyrant," you are backing away and definitely talking much faster than normal "Nice to talk to you. Bye!"
You storm into your house and slam the door behind like your life depends on it. Your heart is beating like a drum while you look through the peephole. Jace stands in your garden for a moment, looks down at Vermax, mumbles something to himself and leaves.
Able to breathe better at last, you dial up Rhaena's number.
"Did you do this?!" you shout through the speaker.
A few minutes later, you hear another knock at your door. This time you know better and you check before opening. You see Rhaena and Baela there. Rhaena is holding a gigantic light blue seahorse plushie in her arms while Baela shakes her head in dismay.
You scoff but let them in anyway. Rhaena flings herself in your arms, the gigantic plushie squished between the two of you.
"I am sorry! I don't know what I was thinking,"
"You clearly weren't thinking. I swear, Rhae, every day you astound me with your stupidity," Baela snaps.
While mad, the sight of Rhaena's teary eyes softens your anger. A few hours later, the girls are sitting beside you, all of you huddled under the blanket, munching on chocolates and wallowing in self-pity.
"I am so sorry," Rhaena repeats "I was just so frustrated about Luke and how Baela won't shut up about the whole thing-."
"Then take it out on me, you idiot, not Y/N," Baela rolls her eyes.
"Honestly, guys, I don't even care about who did what," you breathe out sharply "What am I supposed to do now? I sounded like a total freak there."
"I thought your poem was sweet," Rhaena tried to comfort you.
"I wrote it when I was like eleven! I am pretty sure I misspelled words," you groan, hiding your face in the pillow.
"Don't worry. If Jace starts anything, I will take care of him," Baela says and it sounds like a threat.
"Jace won't do anything. He is too... nice. But how will I ever look at him again?"
Baela gives you a look of sympathy as she pats your shoulder.
"I am sorry," Rhaena repeats and she wraps her arms around you.
That night, sleep escapes your grasp every time you close your eyes. When you manage to fall asleep at last, your dreams are plagued with nightmares.
The next Monday may be the worst of your life. It was easy enough to hide away during the weekend. You were safe within the four walls of your bedroom. You played sick to try to get out of going to school, but your parents did not fall for it.
Usually, you would get to school with Baela and Rhaena but that morning you decided to wake up earlier just to make sure you would get to school before Jace.
Since you can't solve this problem, you will avoid it till it fades away. Eventually, Jace will find a sweet girl and he will forget all about that one strange letter he got from his neighbour once. The thought fills you with envy for the girl in your imagination.
Anyway, your plan is as close to perfect as it can be. Luckily, you have no lessons with Jace on Monday so you are safe for now. Then, you will stay in the book club during the breaks. Jace has no reason to go there and he always hands out with his friends regardless. Plus, you will get to finish that book Aemond had suggested last week.
The first hours slip by like a fog. You are too occupied glancing over your shoulder, half-expecting Jace to be standing there like something out of a cheesy horror flick. You have lost count of the times you were called out for not paying attention.
The bell rings. You rush out of the class and hastily make your way to the book club room. Upon entering, the scent of books enters your nostrils. After the long, tiring weekend, you are at ease.
Your eyes peer over the bookshelves. They stumble over a variety of titles, but not the one you are searching for. You frown. You are certain you had spotted it around here just last week.
"Searching for this?"
A deep voice reaches your ears and knocks the air out of your lungs. Aemond raises the book you were looking for, the title "The Brothers Karamov" printed on the cover.
He looks so elegant, seated besides the window, the sunlight illuminating his long, silver hair that you forget the concept of words for a moment. The corners of his mouth are tilted up ever so slightly in a sly smile.
Realizing you have been staring for who knows how long, you nod.
"You may have it," he says, extending the book out towards you.
"No, it is no need," you answer.
"I insist. I have a copy of my own. My sister has just borrowed it for the time being,"
"In that case..." you relent.
You hesitate to step forward. You sense this invisible wall between the two of you and you fear what you might do if you cross too far. He watches you wordlessly as you take the first step.
The tome is heavy in your hand. The tips of your fingers brush against each other and fireworks go off. You ignore the heady sensation and thank him for the book.
He nods and seems to consider something for a second. You catch a glimpse of something in his eye, almost akin to frustration, as he gets up.
Only now do you realize how close you are. You can see the glint in his eyes, the scar adorning his cheek. You wonder if he knows how hard it is for you to look away, to register anything aside from him in this moment.
He is so close you can touch him. Entangle your fingers in his silver locks, grip onto his lithe yet firm shoulders, caress the scar on his face.
Aemond has never paid you much attention before. He has always been cold, distant. And now he is close and his mere being is burning you.
"Y/N L/N," he whispers your name and it feels like a test, a curse-it makes you shiver "I wasn't aware you were a writer."
"I am not. I am more of a reader really," you despise how meek you sound.
"Are you now?" Aemond hums in response.
He places his hand down on the desk besides him and you swallow deeply at the sight of your own letters, etched in dark ink.
You want to run away, to escape. Meanwhile, Aemond picks the letter up.
"This is very impressive from someone who has never written before then,"
You try to breathe but it is physically impossible. His gaze on you is all that exists.
And then he steps away. Allowing you to breathe and leaving you feeling frozen.
"You look faint," he comments.
You feel like it too. You are expecting your knees to give out on you at any minute.
"You should go to the infirmary," he continues.
Without anymore explanation, he offers you his arm. You stare at him dumbfounded before hesitantly linking your arm with his.
You know he is guiding you somewhere but all you can focus on is the heat of him against your skin. You try to calm your racing heart and fail.
You let out a small yelp when you are about to pass by the cafeteria and you shake your head. Aemond looks at you with confusion.
"Jace will be there. I... I am kind of avoiding him," you confess.
Aemond's jaw tightens.
"Did he do anything?" he questions sharply.
"No. No. The blame is on me. But still. I don't want to face him right now,"
Aemond asks no more questions. He merely nods and leads you the long way to the cafeteria. You can feel eyes pinned on the two of you as you walk the rest of the way to the nurse's office. There, the nurse notes you look very tired and that you should lay down for a bit.
You expect Aemond to leave as soon as you arrive but he stays and silently watches from a distance. The feeling of his gaze on you sends goosebumps all over your skin. At last, something seems to snap in him and he walks out. But before he does so, he whispers something.
"I did not expect this from you,"
His tone is almost betrayed, but before you can ask what he means, he has left away from your reach.
You consider running after him, but frankly, you are exhausted. All you want to do is close your eyes for a moment...
You end up dozing off for the entirety of the break. You are not much better for the rest of the school day, one boring lecture away from falling asleep on your history book.
When school comes to a close, it feels like a century has passed. You walk quickly. You have had enough excitement for a lifetime. Now all you want to do is hide under your blanket and drink hot choco.
You are daydreaming about that image when a car horn snaps you back into reality. You turn your head to see who dares interrupt your calm.
You are left speechless when you see Aegon on his green convertible. He pushes his sunglasses up to reveal his light lilac eyes. His silver curls frame his face like a halo yet his catlike grin is nothing short of devilish.
You open your mouth, but no sound comes out.
"Hey," he says, seeming to take joy in yout flusteredness.
"Hi!" you respond a bit too eagerly "Uhm. I thought you had graduated last year? Did you come to see your siblings?"
"No, I did not come for them,"
He takes in every inch of you. You feel naked before him.
"Are you walking home?" he asks.
"Yes,"
"Want a ride?"
Yes-. Bad, Y/N. He did not mean it like that.
Then again... Judging by the desire in his eyes, he just might.
"Can't be worse than walking," he adds.
You can't find a flaw to his logic. He is staring at you like he wants to consume you whole and it is hard to say no.
No. No. No.
Enough crazy stuff has happened today. You need to get away from all this madness and that includes saying no to the hot guy offering you a ride in his fancy car.
"Come on, jump in," he smirks.
Your defences are down. You have no choice but to join him. You feel self-conscious the whole time. Like everyone is staring at you while you drive off.
Aegon speeds off. You are shocked by how fast he is going. You clutch at your thigh anxiously. He momentarily takes his eyes off the road and they drift down to your lap.
"You can grab onto my thigh if you are scared," he offers.
You gulp and shake your head, face burning.
"I am not,"
"I said if," he says slyly.
There is a very short moment of silence when you are allowed to breathe again before he speaks.
"I read your letter,"
How high are the chances of dying if you jump out of the car right now? You contemplate if the risk is worth it.
"I never saw you as the naughty type, Princess,"
The pet names rolls off his lips so smoothly. He has probably said the same thing to a dozen other girls before. Still, butterflies reign in your belly and you feel special.
"You did not see me at all,"
You did not actually mean for those words to leave your lips. Once you realize what you have said, you are overwhelmed. Just how stupid do you have to be?
Aegon only chuckles.
"I did actually. Last year. Summer camp was hosting a party. You were there, wearing a red dress with a bow on the back. I was going to approach you,"
You remember that party. You had dressed up and spent the entire night trying to meet Aegon's eyes while he hit on every other girl in the room.
"Why did you not?" you ask.
"Well, Baela came up to me and said that if I pulled anything weird with you, she would turn my balls into toys for the dogs,"
Damn you, Baela. Sadly, you can't even say you are surprised. It does sound like her.
You are approaching your house. He stops right in front of the sidewalk. Before you can undo your seatbelt, he leans over and his arm wraps around you. For a second, you think he will kiss you and your heart skips a beat only for him to undo the buckle.
You wait for him to move back but once again he exceeds your expectations. His breath fans over your lips, the scent of sweet mint making you dizzy. His eyes linger on your mouth.
"But I can't be blamed now, can I?"
"For what?" your voice comes out unstable.
He leans closer. His lips brush over the corner of your mouth. One part of you wabts to curse at him. To demand he kiss you until you don't remember your name. The other wants to run away, to escape, to hide.
"For doing all those things you asked me in your letter," Aegon closes his eyes.
This is happening. Oh God. Oh God. Did you brush your teeth this morning?
Aegon's phone rings. He curses below his breath and pulls it out of his pocket to deny the call. You take the chance to get your mind together.
"It is nothing," he reassures.
"No! You should answer. And I need to go. To do-. I need to go do the thing," you blurt out.
"The thing, huh?" he laughs, voice low and raspy.
"Yeah, the thing. Very important thing. I need to go do it,"
You are not making this any easier on yourself, are you?
"And when will you be done with the thing?" Aegon asks.
What is happening? Is he asking you if you are available? Your brain is malfunctioning.
"I don't know. Thanks for the ride! Very nice of you. I need to go do the thing. Bye!"
You are speaking so fast you are not sure he catches everything you are saying. Giving yourself no time to change mind, you leap out of the car and run into your house.
As you slam the door behind you and take a long breath, you think aloud.
What a day.
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sirthisisa-wendys · 3 years
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Wendy!! i was angst-inspired and wanted to share - Shinichiro finally having his feelings reciprocated by one of the people he confesses to, and the other Black Dragons are happy for him, until Akashi realizes he's also having feelings for this person. Of course he respects Shin enough to not get between them, but... it's fine if they get some time on the side, right...?? y/n's got two hands, what he don't know won't hurt him, etc etc. eventually it gets to the point where they feel like things can't continue the way that they have without someone feeling betrayed. so they're preparing to tell Shinichiro but they don't get to before uhhhhhh His Naptime💀 and they both have to live with that guilt and decide how they're gonna move forward, like do they get together?? do they back off of each other?? does it even feel the same if they're not sneaking around? does it make each of them think too much of Shin whenever they see each other??? it just hurts, it hurts my heart because emotions and hurts my brain because i could not write this if i tried lmao
I WAS ABOUT TO GO TO BED UNTIL I SAW THIS AND YOU GAVE ME
H E A R T B U R N
This prompt is ABSOLUTELY INSANE.
And I love it, I'm writing it. Y'all better strap the fuck in, BECAUSE MR. TAKEOMI IS MY ANGST KING. FREAKING GENIUS MASTERMIND, YOU ARE.
Rain Bringer: Shinichiro Sano & Takeomi Akashi x Fem!Reader
wc: 1.4k
tw: NSFW
masterlist
song recommendation (I have been saving this song for a good one. I think this is it):
"We should stop this..."
Takeomi's lips slide up the side of your neck and back down, ignoring your statement in the dim light of the room. The lamp in the corner is red, your signal to Takeomi that you're free for him to come over, which happened every so often after Shinichiro left your apartment for the evening.
"You don't mean that," he replies finally, and you huff, feeling his hands course up to your waist.
No, you don't mean it.
Yeah, you like Shinichiro, but Takeomi makes you feel things no man has ever made you feel. Ever.
It's as if Takeomi took your essence and wrapped it around his wrist, chaining him to you forever. Shinichiro was a safe bet. Takeomi was what your entire body lusted for and desired in the middle of the night when your bed wasn't warm.
"Kiss me," Takeomi whispers and you obey, leaning back to catch his mouth as he leans over your shoulder. "Everything's fine." You kiss each other until the result is the both of you laying in bed, bodies tangled around each other as he pumps into you with sinful and terrifying lust. "God, you're so damn perfect," he breathes, holding your wrists above your head and nudging your nipple with his tongue. "Wish I could have you like this every night."
And you do, too. Sort of.
Out of all of the Black Dragons, why did you have to fall for both Shinichiro and Takeomi? If it wasn't for that night when he walked into Shinichiro's shop and gave you that look... fuck, that heat-filled and desire bringing look!
You'd gone weak-kneed and landed right on them in front of Takeomi, taking him in the backroom like a devious and scheming whore. It wasn't okay. If Shinichiro found out... you'd both be dead. You'd gotten lucky multiple times with Takeomi's dalliances, from almost getting caught in the shop to the warehouse to the fucking bathroom at the club...
You liked Shinichiro. You did.
But Takeomi was just... something else.
After his single orgasm and your fifth one, your head rests against his chest and you hear his heart beating slowly beneath his rib cage.
"We need to tell Shinichiro," you exhale. Takeomi goes stiff, but the thought had crossed his mind before. He thought about pulling Shin aside and trying to tell him in the nicest way that he was fucking his girlfriend. But... to his shame, he never got the courage. But now that you're bringing it up, he feels some sense of 'morality' or whatever it was.
"We'll tell him tomorrow, yeah?"
"Yeah," you reply, falling asleep on the man's chest after a few moments of silence. Takeomi wished he had his cigarettes so he could smoke to ease his mind, but not wanting to wake you, and not wanting to move - he forgoes them, instead letting his mind roam while you rest.
_____________________________________________________________
The news comes that morning.
Both of you had multiple missed calls and a tear-filled Mikey and Emma trying to get a hold of you, get a hold of someone.
But you both had been deep in the throes of sleep, nestled in with each other as the sun rose on the bleak-ass day. You part without words, Takeomi pressing a kiss against your forehead as he leaves out the door, forgetting the breakfast you tried to make and the coffee that had gone cold in your silence of getting ready for the day. How could you face the younger Sano children like this?
You were sure that Takeomi's cum was still nestled between your thighs like the stain of your sin, visible for every single person to see as you walked down the street to the Sano home. You're shaking as you walk through the door, shivering even though it's not cold and your body curling in on itself, even though you haven't been hurt.
Takeomi is sitting at the table, facing away from you, but you can't find the strength to call out to him. Instead, you feel like a fraud as you cry in Keizo's arms, trying to find something that feels authentic to you deep in your heart. You had feelings for Shinichiro. But you cry more out of guilt than your pain, trying to make sense of your own actions.
At the funeral, you wonder if you had just asked Shinichiro to stay the night - instead of being so eager to push him out - if he would have survived. And again, Takeomi doesn't speak to you, and you don't try to speak to him.
Neither of you can face what you've done.
Especially not with each other.
_____________________________________________________________
A week passes.
Two.
Three.
And you find yourself in your apartment, staring at the things he left you with a sense of dread. The chain, the shirts, the bracelet he stowed away for your birthday...
You swipe the things off the dresser top, enraged at yourself for being such a horrible person. You can't face yourself - all of the mirrors have been turned around. All of his clothes were still in your closet because you knew if you touched them, you'd be forced to face what you've done.
But anger drives you forward, pulling at the items and yanking them off their hangers, each shirt, each pair of pants, each hat falling to the ground in a heap of laundry that you can't find the heart to dispose of.
You could find the heart to fuck his best friend, though.
The swarm of accusatory thoughts begins to plague your mind, and you sit on the floor, tears falling from your eyes as you try to knock them loose or free them so they can't hurt you anymore.
Your thoughts are so loud that you almost don't hear the sound of someone knocking on your door.
You swallow your tears, wipe your face, and trudge to the fixture before opening it without checking to see who it is.
Your mouth dries up when you see Takeomi, his eyes full of sorrow.
"Takeomi," you breathe, but he pushes past you, ignoring the sound you make when he grips your wrist and drags you to your room. when he sees all of the clothing scattered across the floor, something in him recognizes your dilemma, but he doesn't say a word. Instead, he turns around and kisses you roughly, pushing you against the door and swiping his tongue across your bottom lip.
It's not wrong if Shinichiro's dead, you chant to yourself, trying to make sense of the feeling in your body as Takeomi takes you and claims you as his over and over again in the bed you once shared with a dead man. And you can't help it, you rationalize.
Takeomi's the only one who understands your pain, your suffering. It's unique to both of you and drives you back together, even though his death drove you two apart.
"I don't regret what we did," Takeomi pants, moving you up and down in his lap while you face him. "I don't regret a single moment of it."
And deep down, you don't either.
_____________________________________________________________
But sadly, those feelings of lust and desire peter out with time.
You realize that the relationship between you and Takeomi was built solely on the fact that you were sneaking around, that you were being little shitty kids and playing a game that didn't make sense anymore. It's like playing hide-and-seek with a ghost, but that ghost is how you felt about Takeomi before, and how you feel about him now is staring you right in the face.
The face before you is Shinichiro's, and you stare into his dark eyes and see the betrayal lurking there in your dreams, in your nightmares, in your thoughts when you pass by the former S.S. Motors.
"We should stop this."
This time, Takeomi looks up at you and into your reflection in the mirror. His eyes seem to betray how he truly feels, which is nothing short of empty.
"Yeah."
You get dressed in silence again, just like the time when you found out Shinichiro died, and he leaves without saying and word and without a kiss. You watch him walk away into the rainy night, hands in his pockets, and wonder if Shinichiro hadn't died... would you two still be doing what you did before? Would you sneak around with him and play the gamble of getting caught? Or would you settle for a man who made you feel safe?
Maybe you'd dump him for Takeomi.
You don't know.
But all you know is that every single time you remembered Takeomi Akashi, you'd have the painful memory of betraying someone you cared about... twice.
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Sherlock x Mute!Reader •Part 7•
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Metal crashed against metal as you yanked wildly at the handcuff around your wrist until you felt warm blood running down your ice-cold hand.
Silently sobbing you sank back on the bed. The sudden lack of noise made the dark room even scarier.
How have you ended here? What happened and why the hell can't you remember?!
These thoughts got stuck in your head, drove a rollercoaster, and made you feel sick.
Helpless you tried to remember what had happened, tried to puzzle everything together but the last thing you remember was going to bed alone in your flat.
Alone.
The word echoed in your head.
Something in the back of your mind told you that this wasn't right.
There was this feeling, this feeling of being watched. You had it right before you fell asleep.
Suddenly you remember that something was being pressed on your face. You couldn't breathe anymore and smelled something sweet. Panicking you had woken up and saw someone standing next to your bed. He was pressing you down and covered your mouth and nose with a piece of cloth.
It was Jonathan.
You screamed inside your head, wanted to punch yourself for your stupidity of trusting a man you barely knew instead of trusting Sherlock.
Your eyes darted to your left as a door was opened with a loud squeaking sound and bright blue light fell into the room.
A man was standing in the frame and threw a large shadow on the ground.
"Finally awake?", a deep voice asked with a sarcastic undertone and his heavy steps resounded through the room as he walked towards you.
"Oh, it was so easy to twist you around my little finger", he hummed as he tugged on his black curls, pulling down the wig from his head and revealing short blonde hair.
He chuckled as he saw the scared look on your face.
"Don't worry, sweetheart. I'm not gonna harm you.", Jonathan pulled a phone out of his pockets and stood there for a while, typing something, before he sat beside you on the bed and turned the camera on, holding the phone away so that you both were visible on the screen.
"As long as Sherlock does what I want."
"Let's play a game, Sherlock.", the man in the video said and grinned evilly.
Watson heard this sentence for at least the 20th time in a row now since Sherlock kept restarting the video which he received 10 minutes ago on his phone.
"Watching it over and over again won't get (y/n) back here.", Mycroft said, trying to bring his little brother back to his senses but Sherlock completely ignored him, restarting the video again.
Annoyed Watson stood up from his chair and snatched the phone out of Sherlock's hand: "That's enough now."
"I should've stayed with her.", Sherlock mumbled under his breath and ran his hands over his face, his black shirt stretched over his back and arms as every muscle in his body tensioned.
Suddenly he stood up and threw his hands in the air: "For god's sake I should've stayed with her!"
"It's not your fault.", Watson tried to calm him down, shook from his unusual behavior.
"Don't fool yourself, Watson, of course, it is! That lunatic is just kidnapping her because of me."
On Sherlock's phone popped up a message from an unknown number and Watson gave it back to Sherlock. He swiftly opened it, just to nearly drop it as he saw the content of the message.
It was a picture of you sitting on the bed, a blanket half over your shoulders and your right hand was laid over the left. It was dark but Sherlock still noticed the handcuffs and the bloody strains underneath them on your skin. Your hair was parted to both sides of your face and you had a smile on your face. A forced smile, your lips were curled up but your eyes showed fear.
The phone rang loudly and Watson jumped.
Sherlock answered the call with a cold expression.
"Such a pretty girl, don't you think?", the man on the other side chuckled darkly.
Sherlock's hand tightened around his cellphone: "Don't you dare to touch her.", his voice had a deadly sound and even Watson needed to gulp since he never heard him talk like this.
"Oh, I won't, what are you thinking of me? But you should hurry.", the man made a dramatic pause. "It's getting really cold in here."
He chuckled again before he hung up.
Slowly Sherlock lowered his hand with the phone and stared blankly out of the window.
Watson didn't dare to speak and waited for Sherlock to tell him what was up, but he stayed silent and the only noise was the beeping of the disconnected phone call.
Without a word, Sherlock turned around, threw his coat over and rushed with fast and heavy steps past Microft and Watson and down the stairs. Watson followed him to the street and just about made it into the cab in which Sherlock had hopped in.
"Where are we going?", Watson asked as the car started driving.
"The national gallery."
Your shaking ice-cold fingers were wrapped around each other, your knees were tugged under your chin and your arms were pressed at your body to keep the warmth inside.
Your teeth silently chattering was the only sound in the room, beside the rattles of your handcuffs around the bed frame sometimes when you shifted your weight.
Jonathan had left you alone hours ago, he said that he needed to prepare something for Sherlock and you were scared of what he had planned, scared of what he might do to him.
His evil laugh still echoed in your head and made you shiver more than the cold air around you.
"If you're ever scared, my love, then count to three and think of me, count to ten and think of a friend, count to a hundred and your fear will be tamed"
You remembered your mum saying this to you whenever you were scared after what had happened to you as a child. After you lost your voice.
Warm tears rolled over your cheeks as you counted to three and thought of her smile and laugh, her warm embrace and her soft voice.
More and more tears rolled down your cheeks and you began sobbing as you thought about Sherlock.
1
Thought about him taking care of you on the day you had burned your hand in the café.
2
Thought about this proud smile he had on his face when you kept the keys for the register.
3
You remembered the day when he got you out of the hospital to eat some chips together.
4
And then took a ride with you on the London Eye. You knew that he had watched you and had a smile on his face as he saw you being so amazed by the night view.
5
You thought about the days you had tried to ignore and allure him since he wouldn't talk to you about the case and ended up being followed by a slightly sad and jealous Sherlock. Now you were sure that he hadn't understood his own feelings at this time and probably was really confused why you made him feel like this.
You chuckled slightly. When you would get out of here alive you would try to seduce him even more, you loved the look on his face when he was too confused about his own feelings.
6
The picture of you sitting on Sherlock's lap, both of you sleeping, popped up in your mind.
This was the moment you got aware of that you really loved him. You never felt so safe and like home before, then in his arms.
The thought of this brought a warm feeling back and you noticed that you had stopped sobbing and shivering.
7
You remembered him entering the café after not having seen or heard from him for over three months and that smile that crawled on his face as he saw you.
8
He had pulled you in this tight hug instead of saying hello and made your heart melt.
9
A loud bang ripped you out of your thoughts and brought you back to the dark and cold reality.
You held your breath and listened to if there were any other noises but everything remained silent.
Just as you gave up on listening a bright light suddenly flooded the room and you had to cover your eyes, pressing your face into the stinky mattress.
Blinking you tried to get used to the lack of darkness and it took you some seconds to see the big tv on the opposite wall.
It showed Sherlock and Watson who just came running into a big white room with paintings on the walls and you immediately noticed that it was a room from the national gallery.
"Will you tell me now why we needed to go here?", Watson asked out of breath as he watched Sherlock examining every painting in the big room.
"The picture.", Sherlock just answered and walked into the next room. "He made her look like the Mona Lisa and where do we usually find paintings?"
"The national gallery", Watson sighted.
Suddenly Sherlock's phone rang and he hesitated for a second to pick up.
"Where's (y/n)?", he asked straight out.
"Oh Sherlock, I'm not gonna make it so easy for you. Don't you remember that I wanted to play a game?", the voice on the other side said with amusement.
Sherlock tried hard to keep a straight face: "I already solved your little puzzle to get here and I don't want to keep on playing."
A loud laugh suddenly echoed out of the speakers from every corner of the room and Watson whirled around.
"If you don't want to play the game then you won't be able to safe (y/n). Aren't you having fun? I thought you liked puzzles, Sherlock."
The voice filled the room with a dangerous atmosphere.
Sherlock remained silent, grinding his teeth.
"I see, good choice.", the voice chuckled. "You know, I'll give you something to think about: she's here, somewhere, and I already told you where."
Sherlock narrowed his eyebrows, he couldn't think of anything right now, the feeling of fear for you had crawled into him and wouldn't let go anymore.
He took a deep breath and placed his hands in a praying position to his lips.
His eyes darted fast over the paintings on the wall to find anything that would show him where you were captured.
But he couldn't find anything.
"There got to be something!", Sherlock muttered and ruffled his hand through his hair in frustration.
A chuckle echoed out of the speakers again: "Oh Sherlock, don't make it so hard for yourself. I said that I already told you where she is."
Sherlock stopped in his actions and his eyes widened.
"Stupid!", he suddenly scoffed. "My god, Watson, why didn't we notice that earlier?"
"What? What didn't we notice earlier? Sherlock!"; Watson shouted after Sherlock who already ran down the hall.
A swear escaped Watson as he chased after Sherlock's flapping coat...
Next chapter will be up next weekend!
Thank you all so much for reading and your nice comments 🥺 ❤
Tag list ❤
@misselsbells06 @fictionalhoomanofnowhere @a-paper-cut @viviace
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solaeter · 3 years
Text
hate that I love you - Naoya Zenin [18+]
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I haven’t actually written smut in like two years..well finished smutty content. I can barely start it and finish it, shame on me but I am pathetic °(ಗдಗ。)°. I am so nervous and shy, so pls no pitchforks and tomatoes _(:3」∠)_ this is a repost cause doubt hit me for a hot minute, but we gon be brave (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑ 
Word Count: 2311
Request Status: OPEN
Warning[s]: Adult content, minors dni!! idk proper warnings cause my brain is fried atm, but there’s oral [f receiving], penetration which is given, slight manipulation? Naoya cause he’s a warning all on its own, noob attempt at dirty talk [I died k]. reader chan tries to hate naoya but can’t. It’s just porn without plot unless you squint.
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Just when you thought you were safe, reality had another thing in mind. Strong hands pulled your hips up with a force that had your face hugging the pillow before you could register how you even allowed yourself to end up like this.
Why did it have to be now? You really thought you managed to get away. "Why are you doing this?" You turn your head, teeth latching to your bottom lip when two fingers glide along your clothed slit. 
"You don't seem to mind." Naoya remarked, his voice laced with disinterest and boredom while his eyes roamed your body. Three months..that's how long he's been without you. His favorite toy. "You're already so wet for me, miss my cock that much?" He questioned with a sneer, sliding your pretty little panties to the side. The sudden chill made you squirm and his words bit at your budding arousal.
"Couldn't you have found someone else to toy with?" You avoided his question, voice hitching when he slid a finger up your dripping slit, stopping at your clit and circling the bud ever so slowly. It wasn't fair how he could work your body so effortlessly. Your mouth parts as your eyes squeeze shut. 
Naoya smirks, his eyes never leaving your cute little cunt while you try to look as displeased as possible. You should have known getting away from him was quite literally impossible. He owned you. 
"Why should I find someone else when I only need you?" The sentence itself sounded sweet, but you knew it was far from what it suggested. Ever since you met Naoya, he's had you by the palm of his hand. He used you for his own needs, taking and taking before tossing you to the side. Yet, you lingered and remained loyal until you tried to end things. Naoya let you live in a false sense of newfound freedom, giving you just enough space before making your world tumble back down, right where he wanted you. 
Now, there was no denying that you looked absolutely stunning before him. Your body was meant for him, made for him to fuck over and over. You were his missing puzzle piece. When you don't answer Naoya, he clicks his tongue and brings his fingers down to your entrance, the tips teasing your hole before plunging knuckle deep, your walls clamping around him beautifully while you cry out.
The sudden intrusion made your thoughts muddle together and everything seemed to spin. Naoya could make you so stupid so easily and he laughs, so humorously. "Why would I find someone else when you're so..fucking worthless without me. I haven't even done anything and you're already stupid."
You glance back over your shoulder, cheeks burning when your eyes meet his cold ones. He never showed you an ounce of love, only half an inch of interest and a load of selfish, one sided desires. "I hate you." You spat while gripping the sheets when another finger eased its way inside you, stretching you further. Naoya curled his fingers roughly, swiping over the one spot that had stars in your eyes. He knew your body better than you knew it. Or so he claimed with a sense of pride. 
No matter how long you've been apart, Naoya would be sure to remind you that no one else will make you feel the way he does. Even if you're spouting words of hate, he just knows you won't stay away for too long. "Heh, sure you do." 
You wanted to be angry, call him out for being a vile piece of shit but nothing came out of your mouth besides helpless moans. 
"Look at you, so pretty and fucking useless. Baby can't even argue with me." Naoya talked down at you, thrusting his fingers in and out of your pretty cunt until you're clenching around him with a strangled, frustrated cry as pleasure washed over your body. "Damn, you couldn't even hold it in. I'm disappointed." Naoya removes his fingers and your hole clenches around nothing, searching for more.
Oh his little whore. To ruin you is his greatest desire. To have you so wrapped around him, that nothing else in this world can compare to what he does. It makes his blood boil in such a way he can't describe and it shoots straight down to his cock. But he can't have you just yet. 
Naoya has to break you more, see you crumble. So he flips you over and the gasp that leaves your pouty lips is nothing short of stupidly adorable. Even more so is how you look at him with wide, teary eyes. As if that would make his heart soften.
"Finally have something to say or are you just gonna stare at me like a fucked out fool?" Naoya spread your legs, bending to hike your skirt around your waist before fully removing your soaked panties. You were compliant, unmoving while he did as he pleased. To be honest, words failed you more when you needed them most. 
"I– please forgive me for leaving.." 
Naoya perked up when the words left your mouth, his own lips twisting into that of a sinister smile. "So you decided on being a good little bitch." He murmurs, placing a hot kiss on the side of your thigh. You always looked so good sprawled out before him, at his mercy. It had his mind spinning in circles, all the possibilities running rampant. "Where's your fight?" He asked casually, inching closer to your puffy cunt and you look down at him only to snap your head back onto the pillow. 
"I have none, I should have listened the first time." 
That sentence you knew by heart considering you've had to confess your wrong doings on multiple occasions. Naoya hums, content as his nose brushes against your sensitive bundle of nerves. Your body reacts on its own, knees bending and toes curling into the satin sheets. You tried to resist him, tried your damndest but it never worked. It frustrates you, so much that you groan and nearly close your legs around Naoya's stupidly pretty head. 
Firm hands catch your legs and dark eyes land on you. "Oh [Name], tell me what you're feeling. I'm dying to know." He didn't care. You let out a half laugh and sit up on your elbows. 
"I hate you. With my entire being but I can't get away. It's not fair. You're– ahh not f-fair." Your words falter when Naoya's tongue slides up your cunt, lapping up your essence before going back down to your entrance.
"Mhmm.." He listens half heartedly, instead enjoying the sweet taste of you that graces his lips. You became putty in his hands, just like that. So simple, one movement. One hand threaded through his short locks, fingers grasping onto what it could once his tongue dipped inside your awaiting hole. 
"Fuu–" You toss your head back, involuntarily pushing Naoya closer which causes him to chuckle and the rumbling of his body only has you sinking further into his palm. He watched you, how your chest would rise and fall as you panted, moaned and clung to him helplessly. Your reactions had his cock throbbing in his pants and he wasn't going to be able hold out much longer. 
Adjusting one of his arms, Naoya's fingers soon met your clit and circled it quickly, building you higher and higher. Your body jerks and he keeps a hold of you, halting your hips to keep you still. 
You tasted divine, like a special wine made just for Naoya. Your pretty moans were like music to his ears and when he pulls back, the whine that leaves your lips sounded almost sinful. "N-Naoya.." You look at him, eyes blown wide and vulnerable, so close to paradise. He smirks and continues his assault on your clit.
"What? You seem to be getting off just fine with my fingers. Now be a good little slut and cum for me." Naoya coos and just like that, your body listens to his every command. The coil snaps and your body trembles, legs spasming and threatening to close around his head but his unoccupied hand keeps them open while you cry out, incoherent words leaving your lips. 
Naoya can't deny the sight and he groans, the desire to fuck you clouding his thoughts. ""Ah– fuck – what a good girl." He praised, an odd thing coming from him but it has you smiling so stupidly. You watch Naoya through half lidded eyes as he eases you from your high, rubbing small, slow circles around your sensitive clit. Your hips still move with him, your body wanting more.
"Naoya..I need you inside me." You barely manage and if it wasn't for the fact Naoya was so turned on, he would have bitched at you. Instead he uses his free hand to undo his pants and free his aching cock from its hellish confines. 
Your eyes lock onto the throbbing member that now rests in his hand as he pumps it languidly. "Do you really deserve my cock? Last I checked," Naoya hovers above you, situating the tip right at your entrance. "You've been a bad girl." He teases you, pushing the tip just barely inside you before pulling back out. You whine, loudly with a pathetic pout forming on your lips. 
"Please, I need you. So bad, I'll never leave again!" You cry, beg and lift your hips in search of what you wanted so bad. All fight, resistance and negative feelings vanished when all your mind and body wanted was him to consume you..
“Is that so?” Naoya hummed, bottoming out inside of you before you could continue your pleas. Your eyes roll back and he has to suppress the groan that dares escape his own mouth. He never grew tired of how you felt; how your walls fluttered around his cock, how you took him so willingly. So easily. You were truly meant for him. 
The pace is set with languid thrusts, Naoya driving himself deep into your velvety walls. He watches your face contort and twist with pleasure and pain due to his size, it had him surging with a sense of animalistic pride. “Remember who you belong to.” He says lowly in your ear and all you can muster is a quick nod of your head as whimpers and cries leave your delicate lips. Your arms snake around his shoulders, keeping Naoya close while your legs lock around his waist.
“Look at you,” Naoya groans, shifting so that you now sat on his lap, his cock hitting places that made your head spin, “Taking me so well- goddamn - be a little louder. Let everyone hear what a slut you are.” He demands, his voice low and strained. You helplessly comply, bouncing up and down on his lap like a good girl. Your head was warped, just like he wanted. Every moan, cry and wail sounded like a symphony that was only meant for him. Naoya held your hips tightly, guiding your frantic movements, hitting every spot inside you that made you grasp onto him like some type of savior.
Ah yes, Naoya definitely is your savior in his sick twisted head. Though he hisses when your nails scratch his neck, leaving noticeable marks that surely would be questioned later. He didn’t mind, not in the slightest. If anything, it made him fuck you harder, his cock ramming your drenched hole as if it were his last day on this earth. The lewd sounds of your juices squelching every time he fills you had him going crazy and he ignored how you drenched his lap, uncaring of the mess since he so graciously caused it. 
“So close, Naoya please,” Your voice is weak and broken, body trembling as it reaches the peak of nirvana. Naoya wasn’t far off from his own release and instead of being a total asshole like he wanted to be, he held you close.
“Let it go, baby.” He urged before biting down on your neck, sucking the tender spot to leave a claim on your body. You whine and unravel, pleasure overwhelming your body, legs trembling and shaking, you were thankful to be on his lap or you would have gone down. Naoya continues to fuck you, chasing his own release and groaning loudly when hot ropes of cum paint your delicate walls. He fills you completely, uncaring if you ended up bearing one of his kids. Hell the thought only made him feel more possessive. It would give him a greater claim over you, keep you with him.
Before Naoya allowed himself to get aroused once more, he removed you off his lap and got off the dirtied bed to fix his clothing. You watch in your fucked out daze, the grips of confusion and longing playing tug of war in your heart. 
“W-Where are you going?” Your voice sounded so soft, so submissive. Naoya glances back and he admires his handiwork. You were an absolute mess. “You can’t..just leave me like this.” 
How desperate. Naoya bit back a laugh, bending to pick up your discarded panties and toss them onto your stomach. 
“If you want me so bad, you know where to find me.”
With that, Naoya bids his farewells and leaves you like you did to him three months ago. But he knew that you’d come crawling to him before the night ended.
On the other hand, you stared at the ceiling until your heart calmed down and were able to get off the bed. Would you run back to him? Even though you wanted to say no, your body said otherwise with the longing for his touch.
The only thing you knew for certain was that you hated that you loved him. 
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Stay With Me (Pt. 03 of 09)
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Pairing: Daryl Dixon X Reader
Word count: 2.1 K
Summary: Daryl found you surrounded by the dead, stuck in the backseat of a car. You were wishing for death to take you away for quite a while now, but, as you slid back and forth into consciousness, there was only one thing keeping you alive. Him, the man with blue, worried eyes and kind voice. Your beaten up body was ready to give up, too wounded and broken to keep going. But this man, who went out of his way to save your life is the only thing in the world holding you up. And, because of him, you feel something you haven't felt in a very long time: hope. Wherever he's taking you, you want to get there, and not only to be buried. For what it feels like the very first time, you want to live. He takes you back to Alexandria, but even there, the nightmares and the terror from all the torture and pain you've been through keeps creeping closer, and Daryl, your hero, is the only one who can keep that all away.
Warnings: Mentions and description (not graphic) of past abuse; post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD); some violence at the end of the story (a little bit graphic, but not so much); blood.
<- Previous part (02)
Next part (04) ->
{The Walking Dead Masterlist}
I want to thank my awesome friend @jodiereedus22, who helped me (and still does) a lot to get this story done. She's also a writer and she's amazing so please go check her work!!
×
Memories From The Past
“I was with the same group of people since the world fell apart. Me and six other people.” Slowly you start, keeping your voice down so Daryl will be the only one to hear it. “We were fine and... One day we had to leave the house because there were too many dead around... So we... We left and this group found us. They were good, they offered help.” How stupid you were to believe it. To go with them and trust their kindness. Kindness, now, is rare. It's used as a trick, a trap. And you fell for it. “They had a couple of houses, lived well together and... It was normal, for a week it was normal. I-I was starting to feel safe when...” Your body shakes, like a leaf, and Daryl moves closer, pulling the blanket over your shoulders. “The men started making... Propositions. And I would never do that, and-and in the beginning they were okay. They respected my decision, but soon, it... They started getting aggressive. I told my group and we decided to run away during the night but they found out.” You're crying, sobbing, a hand on your heart. “They got us. And-and all the others were useless. Four men and two older women, so they killed them. They had t-these dead tied up and they made me watch as my friends were eaten.” It's hard to continue, to push the words out, to revisit that day. Those days, endless. The hours that never seemed to end.
“ ‘S alright. That's enough.” Daryl says, but you push the blanket away, freeing your arms from underneath and holding his hand. You just need to make sure he's real. That he's here, the man who saved you, who won't let anyone hurt you again.
“They locked me up after. They... They told me they didn't want to... Rape me... They wanted me to enjoy what they did. T-the humiliating, degrading sex, the extreme bondage, the cuts, the wounds, the pain. All of it.” You decide to just say it, spill it out, as fast as you can just to get it over with. “But I wouldn't. I wouldn't and I was thinking they'd just kill me. I was ready but they didn't. They came every single day, I stopped counting after a month, to ask me to surrender but I never did. They beat me, kicked me, cut me, spit on me. They used to drag one of the dead to the basement and leave it there, groaning at me for days.”
“That's enough. Ya don't have to–”
“Then a herd came. I heard it. I heard it killing them so I just pushed myself up and crawled through a window.” You look down at your arms, the grazes, and scratches from the glass. “I fought with a man for the car, and he gave me this–” You tilt your head to the wound on your left thigh. “–right before one of the dead got him. So I started driving, and I kept driving until the gas was over. I stood there as the dead came, surrounded me and I just wanted to die.” You're head is spinning, and you feel like you're just about to faint. “I wanted to die until you found me.”
The look on his eyes kills you. Why is he in such pain? Why is he looking at you like... Like you're breakable. Like you're broken already. Maybe it's because you are. And you will never speak of it again. You will never let these words come out of your mouth. The memories are more than enough to torture you day after day.
“Nobody will ever hurt ya again,” Daryl says, his voice filled with anger, a kind of anger you never witnessed before. “I promise ya. Never.” He pulls you into a hug, carefully, but you just move into his chest, biting back a wince when pain spreads through your body. You're sobbing, uncontrollably, and you're sure the tears are soaking Daryl's shirt. It hurts to cry. “Shh. ‘S alright, babygirl. Calm down, ‘M right here with ya. ‘M right here.”
“Will-will they kick me out?” You stutter, still hiding your head on his chest.
“No. Yer not going anywhere, hear me?” Daryl pulls away, just enough to look into your eyes. “Hear me?”
“Can you stay with me? Please.” Holding on to his shirt, you beg, unable to bear the thought of being left alone.
“Of course.”
Relieved, you pull him, moving to the side a little despite the pain. Daryl hesitates a bit before moving, resting his back against the headrest as you move to lay your head on his chest, pulling your legs up, basically curling into him.
You're not sure how long he stays there, in silence, a hand caressing your hair. But when you start getting hungry, you know he'll have to leave eventually.
“(Y/N),” Carol calls from the door frame. “Can I bring your lunch?”
Nodding weakly, you watch as her smiles and leaves.
“I need to talk to Rick,” Daryl says, carefully moving to stand up, making sure you'll be comfortable against the headrest. “Him and Deanna. So they'll stop bugging ya about... What happened before.”
“Will you be back?” You ask as he stands up, holding his hand.
“I promise I will. I won't leave ya alone.”
Nodding, you force yourself to let go of his hand. Carol brings you lunch and you struggle to eat without her help. It always takes a while, and Carol talks through it, even though you don't answer. You should though, she's been so kind to you, patient, doing everything she can... It's unfair to give the silent treatment.
“Thank you.” You say when you're done eating, handing her the empty plate. The words still sound low and weak, and you don't feel as comfortable as you feel with Daryl. “For... For everything.”
Her lips break into a smile, bright and sweet. “You don't have to thank me. I'm happy to help.” Carol moves to hold your hand, but you're quick to move it away. “I'm sorry.”
“No, I just...” Looking down, you feel another tear rolling. “Sorry.”
“It's alright, honey. It's good to see you feel comfortable around Daryl.” The mention of his name warms your heart. “I've never seen him so protective of anyone.”
“Daryl is...” Your hero, your anchor. He's the only thing holding you up, keeping you from falling apart.
“I know. I can see it in your eyes.” Carol stands up, giving you one last glance before heading to the door. “And I see it in his eyes too.”
You're left alone again, with your thoughts and memories. Daryl only comes back a few hours later, telling you he had spoken to both Rick and Deanna, and your stay in Alexandria was allowed. He says they usually make a small gathering to welcome new residents, but it'll only happen when and if you want it. You don't. In fact, you don't think you can leave this house just yet. You haven't even left the room, just for a few minutes every morning, when the streets are empty to get some sunlight. Anything else doesn't feel safe.
Later that night, you're wide awake after a quick nap brought the memories back as nightmares. So you just lie there, facing the ceiling, in the dark, shaking like a leaf. Even though the silence, the walls, and blankets covering you, you feel unprotected, exposed, vulnerable.
“The morning is coming.” You tell yourself, whispering, barely hearing your own voice. The sun will come back, the darkness will vanish and... And you'll probably feel pretty much the same way. “The morning is–” You're cut short when you hear footsteps, quickly pushing yourself up, biting back a moan when your body hurts. But your whole body relaxes when you see Daryl walking by, through the open door. He stops when he sees you, confusion on his face.
“What are ya doin’ up?” He asks, stepping inside the room.
“I'm not sleeping.” You mumble, not sure if the answer makes much sense. “I don't sleep. Not much.”
“Why?” Daryl sits on the edge of the bed, and you lie back down, holding his hand as usual.
“Bad dreams.” You admit, your eyes on his. You can't see the blue in this darkness, but you don't have to. Feeling his stare is enough to calm you down, make you relax. “If you... If you stay here– If you sleep here I– Maybe I can...” The words get all confused, as you understand what you're asking of him. But you need him, you're suddenly aware. If he's here through the night, you'll feel safe. You'll be able to sleep, knowing he's around.
“Ya want me here?” Daryl says, his voice low as if he didn't want to disturb the night.
“Yes, but... If you don't want it's ok. I– I'm just...” Restless, you move a little, feeling stupid for asking Daryl such thing. But you need him so much. Tears start rolling down, so you look away, breathing fast.
“Alright, alright.” You feel when he starts moving, and you do the same, sliding to the side to give him space. “Careful.” He says as you push yourself up a little, heart beating fast at the sensation of having him here.
You're not thinking much, and when you use your left leg to push your weight up, you feel a sting and a sharp pain spreading through your leg. A groan leaves your lips at the same moment, and you wince in pain, freezing in place. You feel wetness on the wound, and you quickly push the blankets away, all air leaving your lungs when you see blood staining the white bandages.
“Calm down.” You hear Daryl's voice, but you're hyperventilating, the agony of the flesh wound reopened bringing tears to your eyes. “Carol!” He shouts, startling you a little. “Lemme see.”
You nod, lying back down as he moves the blankets away, his hands just brushing against your skin. “It's ripped.” You moan, trying not to move, despite how your body is shaking.
“What happened?” Carol gets here quickly, her eyes wide.
“Go get Denise.” Daryl's voice is urgent, and it sounds like an order. She doesn't say anything before bolting away. “You'll be alright. I'll remove the bandages, ‘s that ok?” With your eyes closed, you nod, barely feeling his fingers on your skin as the dressings are removed. Soon enough you feel the cold wind on your flesh. “Some stitches are ripped. Not all of them.”
You barely hear his voice above the agony, covering your face with both your hands. “It hurts.” You mutter, feeling stupid for stating the obvious.
“I know. Denise will–” He's still speaking when Denise comes in suddenly, saying something you can't understand.
She's soon working on your leg, applying local anesthesia before anything else. You're relieved when the pain starts to fade, but you can't look. You feel the blood flowing out, and if wasn't for Daryl holding you, you'd lose it.
As Denise stitches you up, you have your back on Daryl's chest, his arms encircling your waist. You try not to shake, not to move, but it's hard. The tears come flooding again, as the memories try to haunt you. “ ‘S alright, babygirl. You'll be alright.” Daryl says on your ear, and you close your eyes tight.
He stays even after Denise leaves, still holding you as you hold on to him. The silence is comfortable, safe, and you feel yourself slowly drifting off to sleep.
“How long have you carried me here?” You ask, voice low and weak.
“Four days.”
“Four days?” You move to look at him, but his grip gets tighter, holding you in place.
“Careful. Ya gotta move slowly.” Settling back into place, you nod. “I had my bike but I didn't think ya could hold on so I carried ya.”
“I'm sorry...” Whispering, you grab a handful of the fabric of his shirt. “It must have been exhausting.”
“Don't apologize. All the way I was prayin’ I wasn't bringin’ ya here just to bury ya.” His chest vibrates, moving up and down as he breathes.
“You kept me alive.” Taking a deep breath, you rub your hand on his chest, as if making sure he's really here. Your hero. You will never understand why he did that, or how much trouble he put himself through to get you here, to save you. “Your voice was the only thing calling me back into consciousness and... For so long I just wanted to die already but you... You made me want to try. To live.”
“And ya will live now. I promise ya, (Y/N).”
A small, quick smile comes to your lips. Even though it's gone too soon, it feels good to know you still that the capacity to do such a thing.
And it happens again, in the morning after, when you open your eyes to find Daryl still in the bed with you.
×
@funeral-7 @heyyy-hey-babyyy @twdeadfanfic @soraitmnt @winchester-angel @bvbwestfall @shawtygonemad @cameronsails @pulplorrd
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funtarou · 3 years
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Wishes || Kuroo x Reader
The Second Part of "Plans" || Kuroo x Reader" fic
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Second part is here and I hope it's decent or maybe satisfying enough. Like wise, I'm rusty and still trying to regain my writing zone. Also I haven't throughly slowly proof-read this so-- Also also ya know, like wise, how I depict Kuroo has no guarantee that it's the actual Canon Kuroo, ya know. But I'm tryna get a bit close-
Story Warning: Angst, Comfort/hurt?, Human emotions are weird okay. There's one Sexual action but not described specifically. Still just incase, 13 year old below minors do not interact.
Writing Warning: Bad English grammar and possible spelling mistakes and wrong use of words. English is not my first language and I'm still tryna get back in writing groove.
Read part 1 here
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Kuroo Tetsurou never expect such a dirty play from life. He though all of the dark side in life for him has already ran out the moment his mom stormed out of their house when he was a kid. He though it was already enough the moment he heard his own older sister said she doesn't want anything to do with him. He though it was satisfying enough for life to see him bid farewell to his friends back at his old neightbourhood. Maybe he's still naive to think that he won't be affected by any games life would play him after the things he need to went through in his early childhood. Even after it already forced him to think more maturely in a young age, and developed a sort of social anxiety in those younger days, there just seems to be more and more things life had planned for him.
But after witnessing a near-death experience, Your near death experience, he wish life would let him off the Hook. Because it was just too much.
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It has been 96 hours since you were hit by the bastard with the car who drives away the next second. And despite already being treated, you still haven't wake up. The doctor said you'll be fine despite the injuries, but might experience headaches when waking up. But on the matter of when, it was still uncertain. For now it's best to let you rest, let your brain process the shock from the hit.
96 hours, and Kuroo still stays by your side. Only leaving on occasion to get some supplies he needs to stay at your hospital room. He hasn't attend his classes for the past four days yet, but has someone he's on good-terms with (and has the same classes as him) to give him notes and stuff that was taught at those classes. Kenma occasionally stopped by to give him food and check up on your condition too. A few of your friends and family also came for the same reason for the past four days.
Even though his heart ache and yearns for you to open your eyes, to know for sure that you'll be okay, he always tries to maintained a cold head. Despite the lingering fear that stays at the back of his head and the image of your frail body being hit and thrown to the side of the road, he put up a strong front. to himself and to the people around him. He has been focusing on his studies despite not present in classes, still maintaining a proper diet and sleep schedule. Acting normal, and trying to think everything is fine now that he knew you're treated and is going to be okay. He cant just go in deep depresso espresso mode now while you're unconcious. Because he knew you'd be upset if you wake up and found out he hasn't been taking care of himself. Another thing he always keep in mind is, that he cant let this bump in life ruined his plans. Not to mention he's nearing graduation if he Ace his essays and IP. He can get a job soon, a well-paid one if he works hard enough. Soon enough he can buy you the things you always dream of getting ever since highschool. He can already imagined the beaming in your eyes when he give it to you, one day.
Yeah. This is just a bump in life. Everyone Will eventually experience it at Times. Nothing is perfect, but that doesn't mean he cant stop trying to reach his future plans with you.
As Kuroo was typing on his laptop, sitting beside your bed with one hand on top of your hand, he sensed a sudden movement. His eyes quickly shot up from the device to your laying figure. He stays quiet for a few seconds, that is before he can feel the sudden broken movements of your fingers in his once again. He stand up, putting the laptop aside before putting another hand on your hand that had moved. Eyes slightly wide in anticipation for your own to open.
"... (Y/n)?"
He whispered, not wanting to startle you. The movement on your hand in his owns slowly became stronger, until it managed to lightly close in to a half fist and open again. Your eyelids trembles lightly, making an effort to open. But when it does, your orbs slowly land on him. He cant help himself, as he feels his vision getting blurry with the unintentional tears gathering up.
"Hey love... How are you feeling...?"
He softly and slowly questions, letting you process your conditions as he notices your eyes roaming around as if trying to understand where you are. And then he sees your eyes roaming at his figure, at your conjoined hands. And for some reason, the way your eyes looked at him, the way it moved as if analyzing him and the way your hand slightly shifted in his soft grip, gave him a bad feeling under the relief.
And it seems like Kuroo's gut feeling has always been spot on. For the words you weakly utter next Made his heart drop.
"... W-Who... Who are you...?"
And he wish you were pranking him at that moment.
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2 years since the incident.
The day when you woke up, Kuroo called the doctors to check up on you. After going through some tests, the doctor concluded that the impact and shock from the accident Made you lost a big part of your memories. Your family was called the same day to received the information.
Ever since that day, Kuroo has been trying to rush your memories back. He's taking it slow, not wanting to pressure you and the recovery of your memories. He's been really supportive and optimis on making you remember your family, your friends, your life style, hobbies, and him. Gladly you still remember and can manage most of the things you learned at your major, and you returned back to campus a few days after you woke up. Now you've successfully graduated with an average but good scores. Yet due to not remembering your passion, you're not quiet sure what career you want to take, up until now. You've only been doing part-time jobs and online shops. Everything still feels unfamiliar to your head, yet strangely familiar in your chest.
After getting out of the hospital, You agreed on still staying with Kuroo at your shared apartment. Kuroo also persuaded your family that it might make you remember faster on your latest life style. And in a way, he has a point. Most of the stuffs you supposely enjoy and most of the things you use in your routines is in the apartment. The things back at your family house are the old things you didn't use and left when you moved out for college. In the end you spend those two years living in the same roof with him, someone who people told you is your lover of some years now.
For the past 2 years also, Kuroo tried giving you your space. He restrict himself from kissing you everytime he sees you. He tries to hold back on smushing you againts his chest. He lets you choose where you wanted to sleep, either it be the guest room or your shared bedroom. If you're not comfortable with him hugging you, like how you two used to do everyday, he'll make a distance from your side of the bed or sleep on another place. Through those Times, be tries to done the deeds on his own, not with anyone else, without you knowing too. It's been hard for him to locked up all of his swelling feelings and affections for you, yet he doesn't want to overwhelmed you. Not until you remember him, or maybe, developed the same compassion feelings for him as your new self.
But it seems like you've caughed on his hidden desperation for you. And if there's a side of you that stays, it's your need to return the favor he has been giving you. Afterall, he's the most supportive person you've met ever since you woke up. The one who let you stay at the apartment despite not remembering him, the one that pays for all your need with his new found job, the one that's with you through the twisted road for you to remember the people you love and cherished. And so that night, you confronted him.
"Please let me help, Kuroo."
Despite the sting in his heart when hearing you call him with his last name, he cant hold himself back. Afterall, saying no to you feels so heavy for him to do.
You felt familiar under his touch, under his warmth. And whatever he did to your body, you always response accordingly. He knew every parts of your body, every beauty and insecurities. He knew what to do, because before the incident it's not like you two were playing holy-boy holy-girl in your relationship.
There's this momenterally serotonin he felt when being connected with you once again. Seeing your raw emotions of pleasure and your body doing the talking. It feels like everything was back like how it was. Everything was normal, back when you would know every part of him as much as he does, back when you utter the words of love as much as he does. But, he described the feeling as "momenterally" for a reason.
You two spend the night, cuddled againts each other, or could also be said him pulling you close out of habbit. But after experiencing one of the world's pleasure with you again, he really just need to be slapped with a sour something.
"Kuroo... I don't think I could keep pretending..."
Because deep in your heart, Kuroo Tetsurou is still a stranger in your foggy head. To your old self, your old memories, he would be the man of your dreams, the man you wish would spend forever with you. But now everything is different. You tried to find that passion within you for him, it's not like it's that hard because he was an attractive man. Despite all that, you come to realized it feels wrong. You knew, you've been knowing of how he loves you with all his beings and existence, while you only stays and manifested your love for him through a facade and a form of "Pity" for his desperate heart. It fills your chest with aching guilt, feeling as if you're using him at his more vulnurable mental and emotional state.
One could say you utter your next words on panic and quite irrantional thinking. Yet it felt right at the back of your head, to let him break free from the past. To let yourself break free. Because your little heart cant keep this game much longer.
Yet, He wish you would for a little longer.
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4 years passed by.
The whispering noises of the audiences are audible through the whole building. Some excited whispers, some casual talks. They're all waiting for you, not to mention the spiky haired JVA member.
His head hang low, looking down at the ground. Hands remains restless, patting his neat suit here and there and occasionally being put in his pant's socket. Beside him was Kenma, putting a hand behind his back and soothing his best friend.
Minutes passed by, and finally the slow music started playing, silently announcing to the people in the building of your soon arrival. The flower girl appeared from the door first, your nephew dressed In beautiful frilly white dress with flowers decorating. Her Tiny hands throwing the pastel mix colored petals as she skipped her way down the aisle. Some of your relatives coo'ed at her cute attics while throwing the flowers. And then when your form is visible In the room, all eyes are on you. Dolled up beautifully in your long white wedding attire, a thin veil lightly covering your face. You walked down the aisle, a family member holding one of your arm, accompanying you to your soon to be husband.
If someone were to ask what Kuroo Tetsurou though Angels looked like, he would describe this scene in front of him.
The scene was beautiful and breath-taking to Kuroo's eyes. Even Kenma can hear his tall friend's breath hitching for a second when his eyes land on you. Your face moved up, eyes locking at Kuroo's cat like ones as if on instinct. You two starred for a few seconds, before a small smile softly tugged at the edge of your glossed lips. But after that smile, you turned your head and tore your gaze away from his.
A drop of tear unconciously traveled down his face. Followed by another from his other eye, and then followed by a few more soon after. He's silently crying, holding on a sob as his hands formed in a fist shakingly. Kenma of cource notices this, as he glanced to his tall friend beside him. But he was unsure of what to do himself that can comfort his best friend, and so he continued rubbing (hopefully) comforting circles behind the taller male's back.
Afterall, Kenma doesn't think he's in a much better emotional state than Kuroo at this moment either. Where Kuroo cried on his realization of fully loosing you to another, Kenma hold tears of his mix emotions. Kenma's happy for you and your soon to be husband, but he cant help but sympathize with Kuroo. Afterall he's the only guy that has seen and hear you two go through all the hard and happy Times. It's always you three since grade school. Even though you and Kuroo formed a romantic relationship Along the way, you two never left Kenma behind and Kenma never stop supporting you two. And at this moment, Kenma is unsure how to feel with the whole ordeal. He wanted his best friend back together like before, but he doesn't want to force you in to it, not when you forgot all those happy and sad Times you three experienced together.
And as you reached the end of the aisle, a hand awaited to take yours in. A hand that was not Kuroo's, but someone whom he atleast knew at one point in life. Osamu Miya. The man you met and developed deep feelings for, after you left him back in Tokyo.
Kuroo thinks you're being subconciously quiet mercifull for him. If you were to marry someone you and him knew for years, it would be more painful for him to try and mask his sadness with a smiling face in false supportive-ness. And as he sat there in silent tears, he watch and listens to you ex-changing vows with the Kansai man you've chosen to plan your new future with.
He wish it was him again. He wish he has that privilages to be a part of your future again.
Afterall he already planned everything beforehand.
As Osamu slipped the gold ring through your delicate finger, Kuroo's mind went back to a few days a go. Where he had found a neatly wrapped letter in his mailbox. He wished he didn't come when you had sent him a wedding invitation. But years of not seeing you nor ex-changing much conversation through text, could add to the factor on how desperate he is to remain in contact with you. Even after years, He's not used to being so far away like this yet.
His cat like eyes bore on to the piece of decorated paper.
How he wish it was his name written there beside yours.
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5 years has passed by since the wedding.
After the ceremony Kuroo only greeted a few familiar faces and then silently leave with Kenma. For some reason Kuroo doesn't have it in him to face you, nor say his congratulations for you. He doesn't feel like tugging a smile for you at all that day. He hoped you didn't dechiper his emotionless face as something bad.
Now he's sitting in quietly, looking at the stars above him. Behind him can be seen a wooden cabin he had rent for a small nature trip, by himself. He thinks maybe he needs it, to atleast distract himself from the though of you. Honestly the first thing that dragged him to nature and disconnect with technology, is when he sees a picture being posted by Osamu Miya and shared by Atsumu on his social account. A picture of you and your 3 year old daughter with Osamu, smiling happily as it seems the three of you are eating at Onigiri Miya.
But for some reason, having his time within the fresh air of the mountains and therapeutic noises of the forest surrounding him, only Made his thoughs Drifts further on you. He though that your love is truly for him. He though that maybe he does deserve "forever". Maybe he shouldn't expect so much back then. There was never been a perfect love story from the beginning and he should've seen it coming. Even if all the odds around him seems to lead him on thinking "yes you two are meant together", maybe it's just another one of life's trial. He kept thinking like that through the 5 years.
Crouching down, Kuroo grabbed a small gasoline can that was placed beside his leg. He walked further to the wild, the backyard of the cabin, nearing a cliff where in the morning the breath-taking view of the waterfall and field can be seen. From his inside jacket pocket, he pulled out a paper file. When opening the file, it can be seen there are several papers within it and one quiet thick handmake-shift book.
He took a seat on the dirt, not minding some dust getting on his already dirty pants from the previous hike he had. One by one, his eyes wander off through the pieces of paper in the file, reading his small writings on it before dropping it to the ground in front of him. Until all the paper has been read lightly and dropped on the ground, he moved to the book. He only ever took the moment to fully and slowly read the words on the first date of the book. The date where he finally mustered the courage to confess his long-time feelings for you, and the date where he found out you also felt the same. Felt.
He schemed through the rest of the page, rather carelessly. Because he knew if he ever took the time to read each and every single plans he had for you and him, he would spend the rest of the night in tears. Heck maybe he couldn't even sleep seeing how many he wrote in the past.
Finally he reached the last page with his writings on it. His saving plans to buy you a ring. His written plan of how he was going to pull one of the best proposal action, only for you. Seems like all of that is for nothing now.
Kuroo closed the book, dropping it down with the other papers on the dirty ground. Standing up, he stretched his limbs lightly before moving to grab and open the gasoline can. Pouring all over the papers and book, not leaving any surfaces untouched, until all the papers are nicely soaked. After he emptied the gasoline can, he pulled a box of matches out from his pant's pocket.
He lights one up and throw it at the pile of papers. It went out before it could touch the wet surface, which Made Kuroo clicked his tongue in annoyence. He lights up another one, but this one went out in his hand when a sudden gush of wind hit his face. He groans in silent frustration.
'Now nature wants to hold me back?'
Was his first though.
He tries one more time. Lighting up a match, but this time dragging it down and guiding it to touch the surface of the papers. This time it finally lights up the flames on the paper. He sight contently, standing back up to see how the fire slowly covered and burns every pieces of papers and the book. Soon enough, the small fire turned in to a camp fire with the amount of fuels given to it.
The mountain around this place is quiet, especially at this time of the night. The only thing prominently audiable to the spiky haired male at the moment are the sound of the fire eating the papers.
And just like that his future plans are all ruined by the flames. The flames in front of him right now, and the flames of lingering love he still has for you. Just this week he figured he should destroy the pieces of papers that still Remind him of the old Times with you, so that he could move forward. He's in his late twenties already, he needs to get over with things and start looking up for his own future. No matter how lonely it seems like without you by his side.
He wish in another life, he could have the privilages to plan a future with you once again.
And maybe if that time does happen, he wish that everything wasn't just mere plans and wishes.
If he were to be given another chance, in another time or another universe,
He'll make sure to make every wish and plans he had in this life, a reality.
A solid reality of you and him.
But for this life, it seems like it was never meant to be.
- End
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A/N: I hope I delivered well. Maybe- Actually I wish I could deliver my ideas better
Like wise, cover edit by me but the image belongs to the Haikyuu manga
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55 notes · View notes
rpmemesbyarat · 3 years
Conversation
DISNEY'S "GARGOYLES" SEASON 2 QUOTES RP MEME
Why do you read that stuff?
I like a man who brings me weapons.
Nice wake up call.
We won't have to find them. They'll find us.
Revenge, as they say, is a sucker's game.
I'll settle for tearing this jerk IN HALF!
Want to see me use both hands?
That's no way to treat a lady!
That was no lady.
Thanks for saving my bacon before it got fried.
Look, just promise you'll call if there's trouble.
Go ahead, try something!
I'd love to do that again!
That wasn't a tranquilizer dart.
It was loaded with a mutagenic formula!
You don't know anything about her!
Why are you stomping on my friend here?
I was particularly proud of my death scene.
You never let me drive.
The important thing is, you're alive.
Are you sure this is a good idea?
Something's not right here.
Then you leave us no choice!
How are we supposed to find them?
Please, I beg you, be quiet.
This isn't a good idea.
I'm best qualified to go.
My memories are clouded.
Why should I trust you?
If you can't trust me, then trust your heart.
Why do you fight me, my love?
We are destined to be together for all eternity.
I will choose who I love!
Now we'll see what this creature looks like up close.
Why stare at marks on a page when you can rent the video?
Well, I can't read and I don't think I'm missing anything.
Harrier jets! They can take off and land like helicopters. When your life's this exciting, who needs books?
Are you all right?
I had a little trouble.
This beach isn't safe after dark.
Do you need a doctor?
Come on in. I've got a fire going.
There's little I can offer in return, except my thanks.
You understand, I don't get any real pleasure from this. Well you've got courage, beastie. I'll give you that.
Funny, something about your voice made me think you were a soldier, once.
You were there.
I'm old, but I'm not that old.
I'm glad you came back.
I'm afraid I can't stay, but I think I left something on the terrace this morning.
Have you come across a large canister?
The name sounded phony.
I do know him, but he's not a friend!
A magic book?
They're worthless. No magic at all.
The written word is all that stands between memory and oblivion.
Without books as our anchors, we are cast adrift, neither teaching nor learning.
Books are lighthouses erected in the dark sea of time.
Is this how you welcome all your guests?
They have a sense of humor. You have none.
Yeah, I know, you're as relieved I am that everything's back to normal.
Wouldn't it be great to be a shapeshifter?
Well, let's just get this over with, shall we?
How can I be of service, hmm?
Out with it. I haven't got all night.
I'm sure you'll fit right in.
What is it you really want?
This just might be fun after all.
I thought everyone knew this.
Shapeshifters, elves, fairies, you mean they're real?
You mean, you thought I was ugly?
I want you to get rid of the humans. ALL of them.
Does this look like Aladdin's lamp? I have limits, after all.
Humans love a battle hearty.
I'll never get the hang of jumping off rooftops.
I'll always be there to catch you.
Do it, and you win your freedom.
It will be my pleasure. But afterwards, I'm going to need a very long nap.
There. You're free.
The sun, it's glorious! I never thought that it could feel so good.
I'm sorry about the bomb. But it proves how dangerous this case is.
When someone messes with your partner, you're supposed to do something about it.
You still haven't learned that crime doesn't pay.
A trade?
Let's just say, I don't trust you with it.
So, now you know my weakness.
Only you would regard love as a weakness.
A momentary lapse, I assure you.
Halloween! Tonight is the night!
Come on. I've wanted to stroll down a city street with you for a long time.
Marry me.
Are you serious?
We're genetically compatible, highly intelligent, and have the same goals.
You could've been hurt. I should've been with you.
Oh-well, spilt milk. Let's move on to plan B.
Don't listen to him. It's a trick! He couldn't tell the truth if his life depended on it!
Even if what you say is true, why should I help her?
Because you know what it means to lose some you love.
Not a good night for you.
You can't believe anything he says.
If someone like him can love, perhaps there is some hope for this world.
Take this as token of my love.
Upon this I pledge my heart to you forever.
Why do you need all this?
I wanted it, so I took it.
It's so unlike you to attack first.
I simply invited you here to talk.
Our past encounters have not inspired me to trust you.
It's crazy to even consider going!
I'm not interested in reminiscing!
Have you no respect for anything?
Believe me, I know exactly how you feel.
I will never be like you!
I do not wish to hurt you.
I do not wish to be you!
What am I to do?
Do nothing.
Do not worry.
Live in the moment.
Attend the petty angers and jealousies that fill your heart.
Fortify yourself with love and trust.
Fulfill the vows of love you make, for they can surely save you.
Time travel's funny that way.
Get away from me, you sentimental fool.
It's a pretty good likeness.
You know more than you're letting on.
T'was your handiwork.
very life is precious.
Take care not to become what you fight against.
Vengeance begets only a further cycle of more vengeance.
Do you want vengeance or a solution?
This is bigger than either of us has ever faced.
We'll have to work together to stop her.
Truce?
You are the cause of all this.
Humans will learn to respect you.
I would rather they fear me.
What are you doing to help?
That's one way to settle an argument.
I thought I'd rid myself of you long ago
You've forgotten about me.
You're too late. You can't save them. No one can!
I'm not here for them. I'm here for you.
I want it over between us!
I wear this as a reminder of your treachery.
Let's not start that again. You blame me, I blame you. Aren't you tired of talking about it?
I'm not here to talk.
Killing me will gain you nothing but your own death.
Death is never the answer. Life is.
I'm just so tired
Your thirst for vengeance has only created more sorrow.
I offer you one last opportunity for forgiveness and mercy.
I merely offer a sample of what you planned for me.
You have learned nothing.
I will still have my revenge!
What do we do with them?
You come in handy now and then.
I'm quite glad the plan worked.
I'm no hero, I just do my job, and my job for tonight is over.
All I want to do is hit the sack.
Why would you want to hit a sack?
How long was I out?
Even shadows must be true to their shade.
We don't need to wait for sunset.
Is it supposed to hurt that much?
Just get on with it.
Recognize the woman?
She seemed familiar, but I just couldn't place her.
You're getting real good at bypassing alarms
Don't give me credit.
It was too easy!
Maybe misery loves company.
If you're human, then you're subject to human laws.
Either way I win!
I fear no human!
There are forces at war within me.
I will return some day, if I can.
You sound like every human employee I ever fired!
Crush all of them together and you couldn't squeeze one iota of personal integrity from the lot!
No excuses, creature!
Learn to take responsibility for your own actions! And STOP whining!
Oh, I am trembling in my chair.
You believe I am not responsible. Yet I remain your prisoner?
Who said you're not responsible?
It doesn't matter that you were tricked, you know now that your actions inflicted grievous damage. Do you take responsibility for them or not?
Well, what are you going to do?
You seem distracted, having second thoughts?
We'll celebrate over breakfast.
No more excuses. I accept full responsibility for my actions. I was wrong.
Integrity is never easy. It's a daily struggle, a costly struggle.
I know I owe you a great debt for the mistake I made a year ago.
If the text wasn't new to me, it was at least worth revisiting.
All I know is I'm about to be wiped out!
It doesn't have to be that way.
I can break these chains. But only you can get me past the bars.
Automatons know nothing of betrayal or honor. They know only what they're programmed to know.
Only living beings possess the ability to change, and make new choices.
You've given me much to consider.
We are friends.
I'd rather not have your death on my conscience
You'll never reach the bridge!
You have two minutes until impact, one minute before I detonate.
I don't want any innocents hurt!
If it goes down, I'm going down with it.
I knew you wouldn't let me down.
Yes, well, you have that effect on people.
I built this company for you!
I'd probably give it to you, if you'd just stand up and ask me for it honestly!
Asking for it wouldn't be any fun at all.
'Fun' is still more important to you than honor. I can't understand that.
Well, maybe you'll have better luck relating to the next generation.
You should've heard him laugh.
Made my hair stand on end, if I had any.
Surely you know I am not in the habit of playing childish pranks or laughing maniacally in the dark.
Do you even know how to laugh maniacally?
Don't tempt me.
Typical. You do and do and do for them, and what happens? They twist the knife in you!
I think I've created a monster.
Have you ever considered the bounties of genetic engineering?
Or maybe cybernetics is more your style?
Save the horror show for Halloween.
I'm sure tired of taking punishment, and I'd love to be able to give some back
That's the source of the trouble.
I hope you not planning to eat your catch.
Now that I'm in charge, I'm not taking any more of your cracks!
You're barely our species!
I'm in charge, here!
I find him very attractive.
Well, that's sicker than usual.
I'm a partner in a freak show!
I should'a figured it was crazy to stick with this crew
And if you play it smart, there'll be plenty of lettuce for everyone!
I should get my own cable TV show.
Oh, me and my big mouth.
It is the cure! It has to be!
Of course it's the cure! You must trust me!
It was you all along! I trusted you!
You turned me into a monster and I defended you!
I'm sorry it had to turn out this way.
You always overplay your hand
Tell me something' Why me?
You're old, and getting older.
I thought you might even appreciate the opportunity.
Growing old terrifies you, doesn't it?
Nothing terrifies me, because nothing is beyond my ability to change.
True immortality isn't about living forever, man; it's about what you do with the time you have.
When all your scheming's done, what will be your legacy
You're still alive! It's a miracle!
Boy, the city sure is different when it snows.
Not a bad life, all things considered.
There is a cure. There must be!
You can't keep me in here forever!
I'll get out! Do you hear? I'll get out!
About time you came back.
Why did you kidnap me? What do you want of me?
See, it wasn't as hard as you made it sound.
Ah, you wish to be immortal.
If the procedure is successful, I'll release you.
This is just a sculpture's model. The real thing is life sized, and lifelike.
What's in this for you?
Service is its own reward.
I wouldn't even know where to start looking.
You may as well be of some use to me.
Open this cage, and I'll show you how 'useless' I am.
It's hard to top that.
What you seek demands a heavy price.
Death and old age have their price as well. And it's too expensive for me.
Without your sword, you're helpless.
Swordless? Maybe. Helpless? NEVER!
What you choose to do with your life is your own affair, as long as it's got nothing to do with me.
You're just full of surprises.
No, let him go. He's earned it.
I wish it hadn't turned out this way.
I was so close to finding out if the legend was true. Now there's no one to test it on.
Throw down your weapon!
Is this a whole city of fools and lawless ruffians?
I'm the law here, pal!
You are a guardian, like myself.
I will submit to your law.
You are learning.
It will take some time.
Prepare to do battle!
I have no fight with you.
What is this, merit badge test night?
Oh well, better make sure it's an uneven fight.
The weak are to be protected, not exploited.
Aaah, who died and made you king?
If you don't know anything, why were you shooting at us?
Do I really need an excuse to have a good time in my own home?
They say a man's home is his castle, and what fun would a castle be without a dungeon?
If it gets any more saccharine in there, I'm going to put a finger down my throat.
I'd sure like to know how you got here, but I'm programmed to shoot first and ask questions later.
I demand a favor.
Death is always pointless. That is the point.
I demand reparation! My son was cruelly and unfairly taken from me!
Death is the ultimate fairness. Rich and poor, young and old - all are equal in death.
Our planet cannot support so many lives at once.
I apologize for any trouble I caused in my efforts to reclaim it.
It seems I'm out of practice dealing directly with mortals.
It seems I am unaccustomed to dealing with a god
We have all gained rare enlightenment this night
Mmmm, what a peculiar sight.
Now, that's odd.
Do you often go wandering about at night, young lady?
My dear, are you saying you don't remember your own name?
I can't seem to remember anything. I feel lucky I know how to talk.
How did I end up in the middle of the Pacific?
I guess I could use a ride
I thought you looked familiar. We've met before.
Do you know what a scroll is?
Get your claws off me!
You might want to reconsider your request.
We're gonna die!
I will not let anything harm you.
You win. I'll behave.
I cannot believe you pulled the trigger on me.
Just shut up and land.
I just don't remember! I'm not even sure I want to remember!
I understand your words, I simply do not believe them.
You have been long expected.
This trough is filled with acid. In about ten minutes its going to do a very nasty job on that soil carving, not to mention your rugged good looks.
It's my first real stab at clichéd villainy. How am I doing?
How are you doing this? No machine can hold me!
I should sue you for trademark infringement.
I've always considered myself a trickster at heart.
History cannot be changed.
You will not win!
What are you going to do? Bite my kneecaps off?
I know from experience the transforming power of a child's love.
The future is not written yet.
I have a sunny disposition and I'm always kind to animals
I've always respected you as a fellow inmate
He's a fool, but he may be useful.
I can work with that!
Now, now! That's your friends' genetic make-up you're insulting.
You are master now?
I should've known. But why this subterfuge?
Hey, I live for subterfuge!
I do not want escape, I want vengeance!
There's no such thing as "a little" vengeance.
No catches. No tricks. No strings.
So, things have come full circle.
You know how I feel about you, right?
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cha-nell · 3 years
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𝕀 𝕊𝔼𝔼 ℝ𝔼𝔻 // 𝔻𝔸ℕ𝕀𝔼𝕃 𝕊𝔼𝔸𝕍𝔼𝕐
𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚜𝚙𝚊𝚗𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚌𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚞𝚗𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚜𝚎𝚡, 𝚙𝚎𝚝 𝚗𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚜 ( 𝚂𝚕𝚞𝚝, 𝚠𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚎.), 𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚕 ( 𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚏𝚎𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚎𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐), 𝚜𝚎𝚡 𝚝𝚘𝚢𝚜, 𝙱𝙳𝚂𝙼, 𝚌𝚞𝚖 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢, 𝚙𝚎𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚕, 𝚖𝚒𝚛𝚛𝚘𝚛 𝚏𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚜𝚑, 𝚂𝚒𝚛 𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚔.
As the day dragged second by second it became searingly hard to not miss Daniel, But It was hard. The whole day had been dahl and lonely without his presence and his soft light forehead kisses, My eyes glued to the TV screen trying to keep my attention to the show I was watching.   Everything was just quiet. so quiet you could drop a pin and I would hear it chime to the hard eliminated  floor,  It was torture to my ears not hearing his soft mellow raspy voice create a slight joke or comment.
Kobe led beside me giving me some sort of company. His soft black fur pressed nicely to my bare leg, from me wearing only bed shorts and one of Daniel's shirts. The fading sweet smell of his cologne rising to my nostrils every time I moved.   Daniel had gotten up early since he was at the studio all day, He loved his job with so much passion and I loved seeing him showing me his work and ranting to me about his day.
The same usual things gave me plain butterflies just thinking of how he would never bore me.
It would give me a sense that he trusted me with so many things, and I just embraced as much of it as I could.   Today was Friday and Friday's meant Date night. These nights where always so special since we didn't always have time to chill during the week, these nights where normally peaceful as we never went out much to a fancy restaurant or anything we just liked to be in our own environment.  Snuggling to each other's bodies.
Daniel and I were meant to have a movie night, the new Fifty Shades Of Grey was released on TV and I was excited to watch it. Popcorn, Candy, Apple juice and more treats as Daniel snuggled me in his masculine arms. I couldn't wait.  I had the movie downloading on the TV as I watched the show Strictly Come Dancing.
A bright blue banner at the top of the big screen flashed with the announcement ' fifty Shades Freed is downloaded watch now' .   I stared long and hard at the 'watch now' button, one swift click and I could watch a smidge of the first part. Daniel wouldn't mind, would he?  
My scrawny fingers ached to press the soft button that my thumb was brushing over. Browsing my eyes over the controller trying to fight the daggering urge.   In a matter of minutes I found myself with a pot of Pringles watching the start of the new movie.
My teeth gnashing at the hard potato chip, the strong taste of sour cream and chive anthill my taste buds.   The first scene was of a blissful wedding, they were now both newlywedded.
Mr Grey took Ana to a huge boat that he owned. This was there honey moon, things immediately took a turn and  Mr Grey had his wife's wrists cuffed to her ankles.
The soft whispered moans, and sounds of there wet kisses made me tingle inside, thinking of the stuff Daniel could do to me. The way Mr Grey grabbed her throat was the same way Daniel gripped mine.   Daniel was another Mr Grey.
My insides perturbed watching the steamy scene, making me tremble at the sight. My throat swallowing a lump of nerves back down my body. The breathes got heavier and their moans got louder, my breathing quickening at the blissful noises.
It hit different watching it without Daniel, my mind just kept thinking of him doing this sort of stuff to me, using me like a piece of equipment. Breeding me like some bitch.   I knew I couldn't hold on for long, so I paused the movie.
The wetness between my legs driving me into insanity as it spread down the slight corners of my thighs. Making my way upstairs step by step was one way closer from relieving the damp trapped feeling inside.   I get to mine and Daniels shared master bedroom, not thinking of shutting the door since I was alone. I went to my side of the king sized bed, draping a hand down to the bottom draw and opening it.
The rattle of the heavy object against the soft hollow set free as I opened the draw, my eyes staring down at the toy eyeing every curve of it. I put my bottom lip between my teeth softly looking at the fake veins imprinted on the sides of the vibrator.
My breathing becoming more unsteady as I did so.   My body was aching, craving the feeling of anything pleasuring me right now, I knew Daniel hated me pleasuring myself, he always said it was his job to make me feel good but I was desperate.   I set the vibrator down on the soft mattress before laying down next to it and pulling off my shorts along with my black laced underwear.
The thin fabric trailing down my legs making goosebumps appear all over.   The cold air mixing with the heat of my dripping core made the wetness intense, my chest heaving up and down quicker as I let my bare hand roam my stomach. The touch of my hand lowering down my body to meet with the pure wetness of my pussy.
My middle finger sliding down the center, slipping over my quivering slit the wet sound bitterly making its way to my ears.
I took a moment to feel my humidity, massaging the pearl like sensitive area that had formed along with the moisture.   My breath moan escaping my lips as I feel the sudden slight pleasure of the pad of my finger slide up and around my clit. Rubbing the small delicate ball between my fingers quickening the pace ever so slowly.
It was getting too much to handle now, my mind was fixed on sorting myself out before Daniel got home. Finally I took the Vibrator next to me, my fingers dancing over the softly rough bumps of the tip and down the main part to the base.   Driving the object between my legs, turning it on to the lowest setting and rubbing the curve of the tip over my slit caressing the moment of loneliness I had without Daniel.
Swiftly, I pushed the tip of the vibrator in my core the strong sense of it stretching my walls making my body tense as I pushed the rest inside me.   It was amazing.   I left the setting the same for a  long while so I could build myself to my orgasm, steadily thrusting it in and out.
I moaned softly at the pleasure.   I thrusted it slightly faster over time, turning up the setting little by little making sure to take in everything I was doing to myself. I raised my left hand to squeeze my right breast, using my right hand to thrust the heavy thing between my legs.
My moans where in good sync with the shoves of the vibrator, I gripped the sheets "F-uck" I breathed out, my hand flying to my clit as I started quickening my pace as If dying to get fucked like a slut.
My mind zoning out with the sentiment of the hard fake shaft driving senselessly into me " Y-es fuck" I mumble to myself as If someone was with me. I moaned in my hand gripping the flesh as tight as I could before turning the setting up higher.
I was nearly at the maximum speed and It was a magical feeling, my moans echoed the house, light whimpers where struggled from my throat as I bucked my hips to meet the thrusts of my small hands.
"Y-Yes daddy" I moan louder putting my head back gently as I arched my back, my legs spread apart as wide as they could go, while my whole body shook from being close to my orgasm.    " Ye-s yes yes" I squealed, dragging out long thrusts with my hand feeling me inch closer and closer to my climax.
My legs shook and my mouth was hung open ready to let out a loud gasp.   My moans got more high pitched before I finally felt the knot undo, the relieving feeling scraping every last breath and moan I had out of me.
The warm liquid oozing down the line of my ass as I pulled the bulging vibrator out of me, my chest rising up and down as I rode out the last of my peak.
I hear a creek near the door frame and sit up on my elbows seeing a very exasperated Daniel Seavey standing there.  His eyebrows corrugated with his fists compressed in balls of fury, the muscles in his arms tensing.
His jaw tightening as his teeth gritted together, his throat swallowed a lump of anger down and his electric blue eyes a raging and dark blue.   "what have you just done" Daniel snapped, his teeth tightly restrained together as his eyes never left my body.
If looks could kill I would be dead.   I had never seen him so outraged, then again I had never gone against his back. I was frightened but also feeling a little brazen.
"I don't know what you mean Daniel" I say with an innocent look, pulling my bottom clothes back on.   Daniels jaw clenched more "You know what I mean you brat" he snapped. The name was new, but I was having fun, too much fun to stop.
"I don't Daniel" I say with the same innocents, batting my eyes up at him. The strong scent of his lynx lingered over to me as I got slightly closer.
"You didn't follow my rules! you went against them!" Daniel scowled, his face getting closer to mine as he stood by the doorway still. I felt his breath exhale on my cheeks, as he breathed heavy like an angry bull.
"So what?" I snap back bitterly, his hand instantly slapping to my arm and he gripped it tightly "You better what your attitude missy!" He says, pushing me against the door frame with a big force.   My back hitting the hard surface of the door frame, as his body pressed against mine to keep me in place.
Daniels lips hovered against my ear "You stepping in dangerous grounds baby" he spat.   The tightening on my arm releasing, him expecting me to give in but I wasn't ready yet. "Am I? Am I really? you won't do anything" I smirked in pride.
"I'm gonna fucking ruin you" Daniel says, The strong sense of his hand reaching to my throat and squeezed around it making me gasp for air slightly.
"I'm gonna make you know who the boss is, the one who you SHOULD listen to" He taunts, looking me dead in the eyes watching how my face turned into carelessness.   "No you won't" I say through a gasp, I felt a index finger run down the front of me "I bet your dripping again already" He whispered in a chuckling manner.
"You look so good with my hands around your neck" He smirked, I roll my eyes at his cockiness, my eyes completely fixed on his outraged ones.   His body left mine as he gripped my hair with force and dragged me to the bed, roughly pushing me forwards towards it
" You dirty whore, think that is gonna pleasure you the way I do?" He says pointing to the vibrator.
I think for a second before looking at him after turning my body and I nod "Yes" I say "Even better".
Daniel got closer towards me spinning me back around so I was bent over the side of the bed "You think it's better?" He mocks before letting a hand come down and slap my ass, the sting seething through the thin fabric of my shorts and underwear.
"I won't apologise for marking you up, you need to learn who you belong to" Daniel hissed in my ear. "I don't even care if it takes all night, you WILL submit!"   I chuckle just to agitate him just that little more, and the same hot spank to my ass was once again used, This time I let out a slight whimper, my mind completely into whatever was about to happen next.
His big hand went to the waist band of my shorts, his long fingers pulling the soft material down to my ankles, leaving me in my black underwear and his shirt. But his shirt wasn't there for long as it was ripped from my body.
Now revealing my matching bra.   I hear the clinking of a belt buckle being fiddled with, the curiosity getting the better of me "What are you gonna do?" I say without hesitation.
The same evil chuckle escaped his lips " you'll find out".
I went to say something else but a strong wave of pain struck on my flesh of my right ass cheek, letting out a loud whelp.
"Fuck!!"  I yelled slightly, making him bring the same ache again and again.   "Stay still, don't move your fucking hips" Daniel raised his voice, pulling my hair backwards and so my neck arched.
The spank of the bare leather once more hitting me, trying with all my power not to jolt my hips.   Daniel harshly pulls me up by my locks of hair and turns me so I'm facing him, pushing me quickly to my knees, eye level to the black jeans that covered his length.
"Ouch!" I mutter under my breath, his hand tightening in my hair.
"Shall we put that mouth of yours to better use?" Daniel says before sliding his hand to his flies and unzipping the zipper, the long black skinny jeans pooling at his ankles as he took them off along with his boxers.
I clamped my mouth shut, making my jaw ache, " Open your fucking mouth" Daniel says harshly gripping the sides of my cheeks and squeezing them so my lips parted.
He took the one opportunity to slide his dick into my mouth, my throat not ready for the next actions, but It was like a dream, He had never been so angry and rough before.
"Take that dick" Daniel praised and bucked his hips up in my face watching himself disappear in my mouth, the groggy gagging sounds as his thrusts got faster and harsher.
His hand was still tightly embedded messily in my hair, the tightness made my head cramp.   Daniel pulled my mouth up and down on him as his head went back and moaned softly, "Y-es baby" was all he said between grunts.
The retching of my throat as he pushed his whole length in it making me gag uncontrollably.    "Look at how you take it" Daniel smirked, the instant cockiness of his voice was telling me he was smirking.
His hand pushed my head up and down faster, the wet sounds from my throat where the other noises along with the gags of myself and his grunts.
I could feel saliva starting to trickle down past my lips and down my chin, making the wetness increase more.
Intense sloppy thrusts matching the pattern of my heaves,
"F-uck yes darling" Daniel spoke a broken moan tensing as he twitched in my mouth.   But he was having a good time, my neck and throat cramped and ached from the force of his huge shaft choking me as he fulfilled his need.
I looked up at him through my lashes, his blue eyes centered down into mine, watching the mess I was below him.   The corners of his lips rising up as he did so, "Taste good?" Daniel teased watching my eyes start to brim with tears. My mascara running down my rosy red cheeks as the wetness around my tight lips smeared them slightly.   Sweat dripped from my body, the room was hot and stuffy making Daniel also sweat. The look of it made me groan against him the vibrations causing him to twitch again. His light caramel skin glistening with the beads of dripping sweat from the line of his hair.   It didn't take long for the bitter, salty goo to pour in my mouth with a loud gasp and grunt from Daniels veiny throat "F-uck!!" he articulated.  
I tried my hardest to avoid swallowing the horrid texture, it tasted good but the feel of it was utter torture.
"Swallow. every last drip!" Daniel demanded tapping my face with his hand vaguely, earning my eyes to shut at the feel.
Following his orders only a smidge, letting some of the white liquid drip out of my mouth and down the curve of my chin. Running down to the base of my neck.   Daniel watched my chin spill his cum down my neck.
"You look so pretty with my cum around your chops" Daniel whispered appraisingly as he slapped my face again.   His fingers traced the outline of my wet lips, spreading the juices of himself around them.
His hot breath was close to me, making the hairs on my body stand on edge.   My arm was grabbed tightly as he yanked me to my feet, spinning me back to face the bed and kneed me in the back of the legs to dip my body over the bed.
My front thumping against the mattress, making me wheeze in shock.  
"Hands behind your back" I hear Daniel whisper yell in my ear before opening a wooden hollow draw and rattling something behind me.
I stayed the way I was with my hands either side of me, "Did you hear me?!" he ordered again. I stayed silent.
"you little obnoxious whore" Daniel growled yanking my hands to my back and cuffing them there to hold them in place.   I bit my lip holding back a smirk in the mattress, before hearing another clinking of metal.
I tried turning my head to glance at what he was doing but I couldn't.   I felt a strong sense of coldness on my neck and a sound of a lead being put on a clip, then my questions where answered as Daniel yanked the thing around my neck to look at him.
"Now your like a proper bitch" Daniel inched to my face, bringing his nose to brush against mine then kissing my lips ever so slightly.
Barely any pressure was added to the kiss, and then the harsh sting of leather came down on my lower back and I gasp out in shock"Fuck!" I whimper, letting Daniel see my face.   "You can take it" Daniel told me, dragging the cold bumps of the belt down the line of my spine and down to my ass spanking it again and again.
I closed my eyes tight at the torturous feeling but my mind was numb of how he was taking me, utter bliss filled my veins as I was restrained and used just like I wanted earlier.
I felt Daniel move around the room, finding something and then everything went black. "Move an Inch and you won't be coming tonight".
My underwear was ripped into two halves and throw to either side of the room with a growl from Daniels thin lips.   Softly a pad of a finger was pushed lightly over my sensitive heat, making my mouth fall open. He was feeling the wetness that had formed and he drove me to the edge already.
It was to hot to handle, all the stuff he was doing but I knew he had more. He wouldn't stop until I gave him my full self.
"You're so wet" Daniel taunts, watching my perspiration leak in long strings out of my pussy and onto the bedsheets, the cold air was making it throb aswell as his finger.
"Don't make a mess babygirl" He remarks before pushing just the tip of his finger inside me. Hearing it slide in me as the clamminess damped it, holding in a breathy moan I clenched my hands in a deformed fist behind my back.
I mumbled curses under my breath as his long thick finger pushed all the way in me, the juices squelching around it and my eyes tightened.
Light soft kisses where left down my lower back and ass cheeks after harsh bites of Daniels teeth dug into them.   That was gonna leave a mark.  
"Look at you, such a little brat huh? think you could out smart me?" Daniel says while pushing in another finger.
"If I didn't pleasure you good then you can't make a sound got it bitch?"  I shake my head in disagreement moaning softly at the feel of his second finger fill me with his other finger. Daniel yanked the dog collar again pulling my neck back further.
His fingers started to thrust in and out of me at a messy and slow pace "You have to be quiet if you wanna cum" His voice was low and deep, as I held a breath to hold in one moan.   Daniel was enjoying every blissful moment of using me, treating me like a slut which he never did often. I wanted this Daniel all the time.
It was like he had me under a spell.   The tip of his fingers curling up to meet the right spot which he knew where to locate instantly, my mind going black and I moan out in desperation for more faster thrusts.
Daniel obeyed but he did it out of his own spite, my mouth falling open quickly as he hit the same spot over and over again. The yank of the dog lead again choked me slightly as he pulled my head back further if it was possible.  
"Such a mess for me" He says thrusting his fingers harsher the skin of his hands clapping the skin of my pussy forcing me to whelp out in pleasure, I was angry he had this much control over me and I wanted nothing more then to take over.
I moan out feeling my body get closer and clench around his fingers "Awh poor baby doll wanna cum? haha to bad" Daniel mocks before pulling his fingers out, causing me to let out another whimper.
Daniel grabbed the vibrator from earlier and Stared at it in his hands, watching the old glisten of my juices shimmer over the jelly like object.
"I was thinking about our date tonight at the studio" Daniel says casually, I hum in response to his statement.
"How I was gonna let you fall asleep in my arms and kiss your forehead like a sweet little boyfriend I am, but now. I want to fucking breed you like an animal. work you up and make you pay for the mistake you have made" He says, coming back over to me chuckling with the same evilness as last time.
I put my head forwards to stop my neck from cramping but it was soon enough pulled back again, the top of the vibrator was pushed to the opening of my lips from behind.   To my surprise Daniel turned the rotation button on to the lowest setting before gripping my jaw and pushing it inside my mouth roughly.   I gagged harshly at the feeling of it go instantly all the way down my throat, "Yeah suck it bitch" Daniel taunted before spanking you with his bare hand making your hips jolt in shock.
The tip we grinding against the back of my throat, moaning around it as I felt Daniel push himself against my  unclothed core, the long feeling of him doing so driving a whisper moan from me and around the Vibrator stuck in my throat.
The slow rotation of the toy moving around in my throat ever so slightly, looking up at him with innocent pleading eyes for him to do as many things as he could to me.   Daniel opened another draw with a thud, taking out another vibrator.
A tube of lube was also gripped in his hand, his finger flicking the lid of it up and poured the slimy stuff down the vibrator.   I watched it dripped down the sides, watching how it trickled down his hand slightly and his blue eyes fixed on spreading it to every inch of the filthy toy.
I felt so dirty I couldn't ever step into a church.
"Your gonna take whatever I do to you, oh wait you already have" Daniel sniggers pushing the other vibrator into me quickly.
The wetness of the lube and my humidity mixed together and bonded to make a whole new feeling.
"O-H" I moan out around the vibrator in my throat, clenching around the one inside my pussy immediately as he thrusted it in and out of me, as well as the one in my mouth.
My chest heaved up and down with pleasure as I tried moving my hips for more friction, Daniel sternly slammed my hips flat on the bed.
My body pressed firmly to the mattress with his body as he fucked both my holes with the vibrators.   Gags and moans where all that could escape my filled chops as I rolled my eyes back in deep pleasure, "You like that huh?" Daniel questions biting the parts of my shoulder blades and I nod rapidly.
"What's my name?" He spat, leaning his chin on my shoulder so he could whisper filthy things in my ear.
"D-Daddy" I say brokenly, Daniel shoved the vibrator in my core harsher and I screeched "Wrong name princess"  he murmured.  
I gave him a confused look watching his lips smirk again that night, "It's Sir now" He commanded.
I nod my head in response while his hand thrusted the vibrator from my pussy harder and harder finding the good spot "OH!" I squealed as he went faster.   "Don't EVER forget who you fucking belong to!!" He yelled in my ear, his anger was unreal.
It was as if he had been waiting to take his anger out on something, and he was, but I was enjoying every second of it.   "Y-yes sir" I groan through the busy mouth, before Daniel harshly pulled the one from my mouth out a long strip of saliva falling from it as he moved it away from my wet lips.
"Kiss me properly" He demanded, I pout my lips up slightly to kiss him. His head bending over from behind me brushing his lips harshly against mine.
The taste of the salty sweat leaked into my mouth as we shared wet open mouth messy kisses.   His free hand gripping my jaw as the other thrusted the remaining vibrator, gulping at the feeling of me getting ready to climax.
I start breathing heavy and Daniel thrusts his hand faster, hitting a new angle as he spreads my legs wider.
"Your mine"   My neck nodded my head slowly, falling down onto the mattress moaning into my hand.
Daniels fingers grabbing my hair and pulling it back up.
"I wanna hear you scream my name doll" He whispers in my ear, a soft and yet seductive whisper.
"F-fuck S-ir" I grip my fingers in my hands behind my back.
" Be good for me and I'll uncuff you" He says, dragging a wet kiss to the pulse of your neck. Felling it beat against his lips as he fucked you harder with his hand.
"Ri-ght there baby" I moan out gasping for a breath before burrowing my head in the mattress. Daniel didn't follow my order and moved the vibrator to a different angle which didn't feel as good.
"N-No! please! please S-sir I'll be a good little slut" I whine, bucking my ass back so I could grind against the object. " I want more, please, give me more!".
"Beg for it you slut" Daniel smirked, moving me so my ass was in the air and his used his body to push the vibrator in and out of me whilst one hand rubbed my clit and the other stayed on the dog leash.
"Dirty cockslut! your so filthy" Daniel edged me, I gripped the fabric of his shirt in a fist whilst my hands where cuffed and rolled my eyes back in pleasure.
"O-Oh god! oh god!" I squeal, my legs turning numb as he turned the voltage of the vibrator up to medium.
The breath hitching in my throat making me short of breath.
"Do you think you deserve to cum?"   I nod rapidly, feeling the tension build up inside me ever so quickly. I was a mess, he had won.
"F-Fuck yes S-sir!" I growled my nerves standing on edge as my breathing got heavier.   "All you have to do is ask babygirl" Daniel whispers lowly in my ear.
His soft warm breath trailing down my neck and my cheeks making my nipples perk.
"P-Please ma-ke me come" I moan gripping his shirt tighter with as much force as I could with the cuffs, the vibrator came to a holt and was slowly pulled out of me.
I was angry "NO!".
Daniel's body left mine, hearing two slight thuds of knees hitting the floor and I bit my lip hoping he would let me tip over the edge soon.   "Your glistening in all your juices" Daniel smirked and I sensed him pull off his shirt as It flew above my head and landed on the floor infront of me.
Dying to see his crave-able body, I turned my head slightly expecting him to have let go of the chain of the dog leash, but I was fooled as My head was hauled back.
Daniels hair started to lightly tickle the bare flesh of my inner thighs as he left sloppy kisses up and down them. I breath out in a hum, flinching slightly as his thumbs pressed on the spot on my ass where the belt had been connected with.
Thin, faint lips where lightly pressed to the lips of my core, dragging them to make out with the wetness that humidified them.
The creamy fluids covering the outline of Daniels lips.   I moan at the feeling, holding in a whimper for more.
Then slightly bucking my hips into his face, I wanted more and I was determined to get it.
The long thic feeling of a squelchy tongue crammed inside me with one quick thrust. Biting down on the bed sheet holding in a broken breath.   Daniel didn't take long before he was eating me out vigorously, his tongue lapping my folds and thrusting teasingly in and out of my entrance.
His hands gripping each side of my hips pushing his head deeper.
"Fu-uck right there please s-sir" I beg in anticipation, my body quivering as he hit the point of his tongue on the right spot. Sending a shock wave over my body, my hips grinding faster in his face.
"You wanna cum baby?" Daniel growled in me biting down harshly on a sensitive piece of skin which I whelp out in a cry.   "Y-yes!"  "As you wish" He says, rotating his tongue faster and burrowing his head deeper, if that was even possible.
My head flew back not even needing the pull of the leash around my neck, groaning in pleasure.
I let out high pitch moans as he ate me like a hungry vulture on a rotten animal, his eyes where burning holes in the back of my head as he watched me drown in my moans.
I felt my legs become numb again and my back arched. A hand on my ass causing a sting to form again, the same spot every time.
"Y-yes , ye-es" I moan out over and over again feeling the tip of my high grinding my hips faster on his face. Daniels face shook against my pussy, making the juices drip from it and down onto the sheets.
"O-Oh"   Daniels cold rings pressed harshly against my hips, making sure there would be indents of the patterns in them.   I felt the stiff feeling in my abdomen burst open, my mouth once again flying ajar as the strong pleasure erupted over my body, finally releasing for what it felt like a weeks worth of cum.
"Look at that mess" Daniel huffs sarcastically, moving his head away from between my legs. I locked the picture of his reflection in the body mirror beside the bed watching the shimmering liquid drip from his chin.
The sight made me smirk, he was seriously the hottest person alive. His hand coming to the edge of my folds feeling the cum seep out of me, pushing the flow around the whole of my pussy.
The sticky wet sounds, filling his ears with bliss. I let out a quiet moan still trying to ride out the finish of my high.   "Is it good when I touch you there? Or maybe here?" Daniel says moving his finger from my entrance to my clit. Moving his pad against the ball.
"Y-yes Sir" I breath, nodding my head as much as I could to give him a response.     I hear the cling of the cuffs being fiddled with and my wrists become free but not for long. As Daniel grabbed my shoulders and flipped me over ( ;)) so I was on my back, meeting the harsh lustful gaze of his blue eyes.
Then just like in the movie, Daniel cuffed my wrists to my ankles after grabbing another pair of cuffs.   "So good for me, so useless when your tide up"   I go to open my mouth to respond but Daniels large hand gripped the center of my neck.
"I'm going to fuck you until the only think you can do is scream my name".  I nod feeling the oxygen being cut from me, Daniels tip rubbed against mine, roaming it around the pool that he had made, mixed with his salvia, my cum and my pre-cum.
I breath heavily waiting for the sharp thrust but it never came, "Open your mouth bitch" Daniel says slapping the sides of my cheeks. I obey instantly hoping it would make him fuck me if I listened.
I opened my mouth, letting it hang and felt the dribble start to build down my mouth and neck.   Daniel looked at me in the eyes tensely before pushing in two fingers down my throat feeling it tighten around them as I gagged rapidly, breathing out of my nose as he filled my mouth.
"Choke on my fucking fingers, your not used to these things are you sweet innocent girl? well I ain't playing the fucking good guy no more!" Daniel yelled slightly.   I nod fast "Yes!" I choke around his finger before he harshly pushed them out. His hand going to my neck and I close my mouth.
"Did I say close?!!"  I shake my head and open my mouth again, watching a long line of his spit drip from a gap between his lips and down into the opening of my mouth.   Watching him every expression on his face as I drank the slimy texture.
"Good girl" Daniel praised, pushing only and just only the tip of himself in me.
Thrusting that little bit slowly in and out of me, I pull at my bottom lip as my body rocked with his slight rolls of his hips.   "You know fucking is a treatment?" Daniel teases, driving the tip to an angle where it hit good.
I jolt my hips hissing at the pleasure as he ever so gently brushing the curve of the tip against it.   I nod "I-I know" I agree, trying to buck my hips but he held them down with a hand.   "You want me to fuck you senseless huh?" he mutters in my ear, I nod impatiently.
My pussy ached to be his bitch, wanting him to take advantage of every spot inside it.   Shuddering, by the touch of the tip no longer being held. He harshly rammed into me leaving me to gasp harshly in a sharp scream.
Daniel gave in, he gave in to my needs watching as my legs and wrists tugged for more. "I want you to scream my name and I want to watch you feel the pleasure I!! bring you"  
His breath was unsteady as he began pounding into me,  My eyes cross as my vision blurred. My mouth falls wide open heavy breath escaping my dry throat.
"Yeah? Like that?" Daniel pants above me, sweat dripping down his face.
"Oh right there Daniel!" I whine, face scrunching up in pleasure.
Daniel keeps his quick movements, his cock pounding into me at a relentless pace.   "OHH!" I squeal, his dick having hit a particularly good spot inside me.
"There's my target" Daniel smirked. Daggering the spot with his tip harshly, watching you shudder under him at the intense feeling.
"Huh! Oh God!!" I immediately cry out, the head of his length perfectly ramming into the delicious spot he found. My eyes roll into the back of my head as he continues to hit it with all the precision.
With accuracy of his thrusts, it doesn't take very long until I feel myself about to reach my 3rd high that night, Literally screaming as the waves of ecstasy crash over me. My orgasm pushes through me, making my body tense.  
"Come for me! Come for who make you feel good" Daniel growls as he breathed heavy above me, watching my face contour at the feeling.   It was like he knew where that good spot was, he could locate it blindfolded.
Gripping the sheets slightly, my back arched off the bed letting out restrained broken moans as It became the end of my climax.
"OH FUCK!" I yell out driving my head to burrow in the crook of his neck, Daniels hair falling over his eyes as he continue to thrust at the same pace.   My breathing as heavy as it could be, I longed for this.
"Yeh? I'm not going easy on you anymore" Daniel grunted, Wishing he could be like this every time we had sex.
His hand went to the bottom of my ankles and undid the restrains, allowing me to finally wrap my legs around his torso and my arms around his neck.   The bed was rocking and banging the wall like no tomorrow, my throat hurt from the vicious attacks he had done on it.
The pictures shaking vigorously on the wall along with his guitar.   I scream, dragging it on for as long as I could. My fingers embedding in his hair gripping it tightly as he breathed heavy in the small of my neck.
Daniels grunts sending me to utter heaven, the slapping of our skin filling every inch of the air along with the wet sounds of our juices mixing together.   "I wanna hear you beg" Daniel moaned in my ear, gripping the soft feel between his teeth.
"F-fuck me! I wanna feel you come daddy!" I moan but it wasn't good enough as his hips slowed " Please!! I want it You make me feel good" I whine.
"Your never ever ever! gonna touch or pleasure yourself are you? Or so help me god I will beat the fuck out of this pussy" Daniel hissed,   I nod "I PROMISE, I SWEAR! PLE-EASE JUST F-UCK ME HAR-D!"  I entreat, clawing at his back making sure to leave marks just like he had done to me.
"Good girl!" He grunts lowly, pressing my hips harshly into the mattress and rapidly moving his hips faster and harder.   My groggy broken throat trying to squeeze out screams as the room was filled with pleasurable sounds.
"Fuck you feel so good" Daniel moaned out, I could tell he was getting weaker. The twitching of him in me triggering me to feel that knot again. But I felt worse, like someone was making me hold in everything I had.
It was a new feeling and I didn't know how to deal with it, My mind went blank and I just let him take advantage.
I feel myself clench around him, my heavy deep cries, earning him to moan in sync with me.   "F-fuck I'm gonna cum!" Daniel groans, holding my hips down as he thrusted harder and faster he had the whole night.
I dig my nails deeply into his back, before screaming into the air as he hit the same spot he had been on for ages.   That strong, new feeling taking over my body like a monster as Daniel drove it out of me, My vision blurred and I felt a huge wet patch form between me and Daniel. Along with the cum oozing from him.
The wetness carrying on for a long while, before I eventually closed my eyes. My sight blackened and my body shivered and shook with the amount of things that had just happened.
"Damn Baby" Daniel says softly, kissing my neck lightly as he pants along with me. Our hot sweaty bodies, stuck together, before Daniel slowly pulls out, letting a light whimper escape and he flops beside me.
"W-was I to much?" Daniel asks a hint of worry in his voice and I shake my head, still not opening my eyes.   "I'm sorry" He says once. My eyes snapping open "D-Don't be" I say with a sore voice.
A small smirk formed to his lips as he watched the sight of my body.   "I'll run the shower for you baby" He says kissing my head lightly then going to the bathroom and turning the shower on.  
Coming back he picked me up, carrying me back to where he was.   The mirror steamed from the hotness of the shower, Daniel linked his arm around me lifting me into the shower and helping me stand.
His icy blue eyes scanning the marks, bruises and hickeys he had made. "God you look so hot" he whispers touching each and every one with a soft finger.   I blush slightly
"You where like...I don't know" I say speechless, still trying to process what just happened.   Daniel chuckled slightly, wrapping a towel around me after washing my body and helping me back to the bedroom.
Sitting me on the bed, handing me one of his shirts which he helps me put on along with some underwear.
Then he got dressed into a pair of his shorts, leaving his body topless.   Pulling me to my feet and slowly walking me to the desk chair so he could change the sheets.   Putting on one of my favorite bed spreads and helping me back to the bed after he was done.
I lay down propping a pillow behind my back slightly so I could lean against the headboard, Daniel going downstairs to wash the bed sheets and coming back with popcorn, watermelon sweets, apple juice and a mug of hot tea and his blanket.
Handing me the blanket and the mug, sitting next to me switching on Netflix, and pulling me closer to his soft chest.    "All I can say is, I seen red" Daniel says before kissing my forehead and snuggling me into his chest.
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pink-peony-princess · 3 years
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Deliverance| S.M Werewolf AU
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Part One🐺
The woods had always been a place of comfort for me. A place to escape the madness of my life- of serenity. of course I'd heard the stories of vicious wolves who roamed the darkness waiting to prey on the innocent,but I always put it down to stories, gossip, folklore designed to stop kids from venturing too far. That was until the day I was taken.
A rogue pack had taken me as their personal toy, all the anger and frustration they felt was taken out on me. It was a good day if I got a bit of stale bread, and only one beating. On bad days there would be no food and constant, torturous abuse.
I had endured it for 13 year, my small body the reflection of years of malnutrition and hurt, but I'd finally escaped.
I had bid my time, waiting till they made an inevitable error, and it had finally happend. One of the younger wolves had forgotten to check the padlock when they'd had their fun with me and I'd seized the opportunity and run as fast as I could. but I wasn't fast enough. The alarm had been sounded and there were now several wolves hot on my heels and I could run no further I had to accept my fate. He was less than a metre away from me when our of nowhere another wolf - russet in colour intercepted him in mid air, knocking him over with the force of an elephant. I could hear the snarling and snapping of jaws as I finally collapsed and
surrendered, the last thing I remember was a tall young man walking towards me .
When I woke it was to a mass of activity.
I drifted in and out of sleep, hearing people talking.feeling hands on me, there was even something about the alpha wanting to see 'her', and a 'mate' and something else about ' killing the pack that did this'. What that meant I couldn't know in my delirium.
When I managed to finally open my eyes and get past the blindly bright light above me, I was met with the image of a man-pacing back land forth, muttering to himself. And the more immediate threat of someone fiddling with the sheet that lay over me.
Surely with a man this good looking, this close to me it had to be a dream, I tried to convince myself, but someone shattered the dream almost as soon as is materialised.
"Well hello sweetheart, I'm glad to see you're finally awake," the voice came from that of and older woman with long greying hair braided out of her face "My name's Judy, I'm your nurse," she smiled down at me. "Are you in any pain?" She asked.
I took a moment to take everything in, but I was still unable to make sense of it all.
"Where am I?" I asked, trying to sit up, but everything protested as soon as I moved, even muscles I didn't know I had.
"Just stay still for now dear, you don't want to hurt yourself further," the nurse-Judy spoke kindly, helping me to resettle myself.
Something, maybe me speaking seemed to wake the man from his trance like state and he turned to meet my confused gaze.
He was tall, he had to be at least 6 foot, with sliflghtly tanned skin, the most rich brown eyes I'd ever seen, and hair that was neatly cut, except for a few unruly curls at the front of his head which didn't want to co-operate with the hair gel he'd obviously used to style it.
"Oh,oh thank God." the man rushed over to the side of the bed stopping mere inches from my face.
I could feel my heart rate picking up as panic set in, not used to people (let alone males) being this close without hurting me.
I turned to Judy asking desperately with my eyes for help
She must have got the memo because she cleared her throat and spoke.
She seemed somewhat hesitant though "Alpha, I don't mean to overstep my boundaries, I know you must be worried sick as we all are, however would it not be prudent to give the girl some space?"
The man searched my face for a moment, before straightening and stepping backwards.
"I didn't mean to scare you," he muttered guiltily.
"You didn't," I lied before I could think about it.
"My name's Shawn what's yours?" he asked holding his hand out for me to take.
I kept my mouth shut, years of torture telling me to keep quiet. He dropped his extended up so it was back at his side.
"Alrighty then, when you're ready. I won't push you." He spoke, it seemed as though he was trying deliberately to keep his tone, soft, conversational and I appreciated it.
At that moment the doctor walked in. "It's good to see you awake Miss," he spoke echoing Judy's words.
"I'm sorry to say you're quite banged up." Shawn started pacing again at his words.
"
I would have sworn I heard a growl.
"Shawn you have to stay calm," Judy spoke, it sounded almost as if she was trying to comfort him, confusing me further.
Once the doctor left Shawn calmed down, having dragging a chair from outside my room to sit beside my bed.
"I heard something about killing another pack?" I asked weighing my words cafefully. "So are you all wolves too?"
"Yes, honey, but I promise you're safe here," he replied softly, looking over at me. I looked down again, not able to take the human interaction.
"Everytime I look at you, you look down. Why is that?"he asked, sounding sad.
" I didn't mean to upset you," I panicked.Starting to pick at the I.V in my arm, it was something I always did when I was nervous, picking things, my skin, nails whatever seemed to help.
"No, no, I didn't mean it like that, I'm not mad," he cut me off. "I just mean I've noticed it is all," he lay a hand carefully on my arm and surprisingly the contact helped.
"I don't know," I pondered, distracted by his touch. There was a weird, warm feeling flowing from the point of contact straight up to my chest, not dissimilar to when your hands or feet go numb and then start to respond again. It wasn't unpleasant, just strange. "I guess, I'm not used to positive human contact," I admitted, looking up to see him shaking his head.
"Are you the Alpha?" I asked suddenly. He looked at me, surprise washing over his face at the boldness of my question.
"Yes, I am," he spoke proudly. "Of the Shadowmoon Pack, greatest pack in all of Canada if you ask me," he smiled.
I liked the way he was so confident. It made me feel safe and secure. A few more hours past with us sitting in a comfortable silence, I couldn't help but feel safe around him, and as foreign as the feeling was, I also craved it.
"Are you ready to go home now Poppet?" Judy ssekd, making her way into my room again sometime later and starting to mess around with the I.V tubing.
I looked at her panicked.
"Home?" I squeeked. Surely they weren't really going to send me home. It wasn't a home where I'd come from it was a hell, my own personal hell and I'd be damned if I was going back.
Shawn seemed to noticed my emotions and stepped forward, slowly holding his arms out, and instead of backing away as I had done earlier,I surprised us both and stepped into his hold.
He was warm and comfortable, our bodies seemed to fit perfectly,denim of his jacket just scratchy enough and the now semi familiar tingling from our contact pleasant enough to ground me somewhat. I stayed like that for a minute or so before I became a little more aware of what I was doing. I was hugging a near stranger,worse he was a male, worse again Ii was actually lettung myself like it.
Sorry, I blushed, stepoing away quicky and looking down.
"You don't need to apologise," he smiled.
"What was the tingling I felt" I asked wanting to change the subject.
"That is what you get when two mates make contact" He smiled wider than I had ever seen a person smile, his fangs being exposed in the process.
I stood, silently, shocked.
"Are you okay" He asked moving to step towards me, I held a hand up and he halted midstride.
"I promise you. We'll take things slowly, right now I just want to get you home- to our home," he amended when he saw the look of panic in my face. "So you can rest."
I nodded. Still not entirely comfortable, but what other choice did I have? Go back to the pack that had tortured me all these years, or even end up homeless on the street? And from everything I'd seen Shawn seemed like a genuinely nice person, who everyone respected. Plus,if he was telling the truth, which from heat I could tell, he was, he was my mate and from all the stories I'd heard as a child, your mate was meant to be the one person in the world who would do anything for you, be anywhere for you. They would literally protect you with their lives.
"Shawn I don't have anything to wear," I whispered embarrassed again, looking down at the gown which barely covered anything as Judy finally finished what she was doing in the corner of he room having taken out my I.V. and left.
"I brought you some clothes, don't worry," he smiled.Pullnig out the most comfortable pale pink sweater I'd ever seen, he handed it to me and I was hit with his scent.
"This is yours?"
",Is that okay?" he worried. " I could go home and get something from one of the girls if you're uncomfortable," he offered.
I just smiled,letting out a little giggle at the extreme level of concern he was showing, which caused him to immediately relax l, shoulders dropping, a slight smile gracing his lips as he shook his head softly.
"Can you turn around please?" I requested. He did as asked giving the privacy I so desperately craved.
When I was finished he took my hand, holding his other under my elbow to support my weight.
He was so patient, never rushing me as he lead me through the hospital and out the doors into the world. I couldn't help but savour the fresh air,the cold winter air burning my lungs but in a good way.
"I bet it feels nice to be outside again,"
I nodded, "How did you find me" I asked, as we continued to walk. It was as if now that I was free my mind could finally ask questions and process all the stuff I had never done previously.
"That's a story for when you've had some more rest," he answered, coming to a stop in front of a Jeep, opening the door and lifting me in. The tingling was still a shock,l everytime he touched my skin.
"Feel free to sleep we've got a bit of a drive ahead of us" he smiled reassuringly, before turning the ignition,the car coming to life.
I woke to someone shaking me,it was dark now and I immediately jumped back in my seat, unsure, before my groggy eyes made contact with Shawn's and I realised where I was and relaxed.
"I won't hurt you, you're safe now Pup," he murmured, moving to brush some hair out of my face with a feather-light touch. I blushed at the nickname."I was just waking you because we're here, this is home" I took in the house illuminated by lights in complete awe.
"So you're an Alpha and you don't hurt humans?" I asked as he helped me cafefully from he car.
"You're not human, you're an omega, but no I have nothing against humans," he added, holding me steady as I swayed on my feet slightly, not used to standing anymore.
I stood stunned again," I know it's a lot to take in, but we'll get to all of that, for now though, you need rest.
We made our way through the house in silence, I could hear other voices, yet we never came across anyone.
"This is my room," he spoke, shifting his grip on me slightly to open the door.
The room was large with huge french doors leading out to a balcony overlooking a big yard and a lake, soft- what looked like silk curtains framing the windows, a guitar sat in one corner a futon in the other. There was a record player in the corner, playing a soft melody which filled the space, creating a warm inviting feeling. In the centre of the room was the biggest bed I had ever seen.
It had several large cushions on it and a duvet cover that looked like it would feel like laying on clouds. Just this bed was bigger than he cell I'd been forced to spend so many years in,I thought with a shudder.
"This is your room?I stumbled over my words.
"Well I'm hoping it will be our room actually." Shawn spoke, scratching at his neck.
I turned panicked. "But only when you're comfortable I'm not about to force you into anything I promise."
He held his pinkie finger out, and I just looked at it unsure of what he wanted.
"Here," he smiled, taking my hand and locking my own little finger with his. "This is called a pinkie promise. It's like a pact that you don't break," he explained with a smile.
"Oh,I guess, I must have forgotten." I felt extremely stupid and shit up quickly, the only sound that of the record player still in the corner. I found it so comforting, my own father had had one when I was little and I could remember watching the record and needle spin for hours.
"There's a room adjacent to mine which I've had the maids freshen up, there's a comfortable bed and an ensuite with fresh towels and a toothbrush." he continued as if there wasn't just a massive awkward silence emitting solely from my lack of understanding.
He turned leading me back out and across the hallway to another door. When he opened it, I saw a room, smaller than his, but still warm and cosy, with a big bed, a window, lots of pretty lights and yet more records, this time hung in the wall.
"You didn't need to do this for me," I told him, as I took it all in.
"I wanted you to be comfortable," he shrugged.
He lead me back to his room where he sat down on the bed, kicking his shoes off and patting the spot next to him.
"How long was I out" I asked after a minute. He got what I meant immediately.
"Three days," he answered somberly.
"How are you feeling? he asked.
"Still very sore," I admitted.
"Here let me see your injuries." he reached over picking up a box of what I soon realised was full of first aid stuff.
He was extremely gentle as he tended to he cuts and scrapes that covered my shoulders, arms,and legs. He even managed to convince me to let him check my ribs. This I found uncomfortsbly and awkward once again, but he was careful not to make it any worse than it had to be and he had rewrapped them quicky and easily.
"How do you know how to do all this?" I asked quietly as he gently dabbed at a cut on my hand. "We'll I'm actually a trained doctor. When I'm not working as the Alpha, I work at the pack hospital. There all done," he announced,packing up the box and disposing of he rubbish in a small medical waste tin.
Half an hour later and I'd gotten changed, again into one of Shawn's oversized hoodies and made myself comfortable in his bed after he insisted I stay in his room incase I needed him.
"Sleep well, Pup, I'll be here if you need me."
He went to lounge on the futon, and I was left to drift to sleep, exhausted by the day's events. My sleep was fitful to satly the least, dreams bad nightmares melding to form weird and wonderful scenarios which would never make sense.
When I woke, it was to a soft knock on the door. Opening my eyes, I could see that it was still slightly light out, though dinner than it had been, probably somewhere around dusk. A girl with dark hair, dark eyes and a kind smile stepped tenntively into the room.
"My name's Karla. Im in the pack. It's nice to meet you," she added warmly. "Shawn's had to go deal with some pack matters so he asked me to come keep you company. I brought you some food. He said you might be hungry." She held out what looked like a croisant, the smell of butter instantly filling the room."I also brought a hair brush," she added. "I thought you might like to brush your hair, I know that always makes me feel better. Or I could do it?" she added again, shyly.
"Thank you."I whispered, my voice still hoarse.
The girl, Karla, came to sit on the bed. She had to be the same age as me. Maybe a year or two older.
"I hope the pack meeting doesn't go too long," she said as I started picking at my croisant. "Shawn won't want to be away from you, it's hard to be away from our mates." She looked dreamy as she spoke, leaving no question that she too had a mate.
"I'm nervous to meet everyone," I admitted with a frown, suddenly not hungry anymore.
"Aww, don't worry everyone will love you," she smiled. "We've all been waiting for ages for him to meet his mate and you're finally here." she clapped in excitement, breaking E and forcing me to smile just as Shawn came through the door with another soft knock.
"Ahhh, I see you've meet Karla," he smiled, raising his eyebrow a little bit. " I hope she's been telling you good things."
"Yep, what were you doing" I asked watching as he took his deniem jacket off- the same one from earlier and chucked it onto the futon, coming to sit next to me on the bed, careful not to invade my personal space.
"Are you comfortable?" he asked watching as I pulled the crosiant to pieces no longer interested by the food, now that I had him here.
"I'm alright," I shrugged.
He nodded, and we lapsed into yet another comfortable quiet.
It was only then that I realised Karla had left the room, she must have excused herself, seeing that she was no longer needed and didn't feel the need to encroach.The hairbrush however was still laying on the bed.
"I just want you to know," he spoke, breaking the silence after a while, "that no matter what happeneds you'll be safe here. I'll protect you with my life, it's my job both as your Alpha and as your mate," he spoke earnestly.
He was looking at me with such an intensity as he spoke that something broke inside of me, and I cracked. "Lucy," I whispered looking down and away from his gaze.
"What?" I could here the confusion in his voice.
"Lucy, my name, my name is Lucy." I spoke more clearly this time, though I still couldn't bring myself to look at him.
"Lucy, that's a pretty name," he murmured. I could see from the corner of my eye that he was reaching for me, and as much as I wanted to move, my body was frozen whether in fear or anticipation I couldn't know, but the next thing I knew both his hands were cupping my face. He was so gentle, almost as if he thought I would break. I looked up at him, once again taken aback by the intensity of his stare.
I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks.
"You're so pretty when you blush," he smiled, caressing my cheek.
"Please don't compliment me, I don't deserve it, I'm ugly," I repeated the words my captors had drilled into me for so many years.
"You, Lucy," he put emphasis on my name. "are anything but ugly. You are the most beautiful person I have ever known, inside and out."
"How can you say that?" I replied.
"Because, I can feel it Lucy, right here," he took my hand in his and placed it over his chest where I could feel his heart beat strong and sure. "I've been waiting for you my entire life. And now that I have you, it's my job, my honour to protect you with my life," he explained fiercly.
"Thank you," I chocked out, tears welling in my eyes.Leaning into his frame just slightly despite myself and my fears.
"No pup, thank you."
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Deliverance| A Werewolf Shawn AU
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Part One
The woods had always been a place of comfort for me... A place to escape the madness of my life of serenity. of course I'd heard the stories of vicious wolves who roamed the darkness waiting to prey on the innocent,but I always put it down to stories, gossip, folklore designed to stop kids from venturing too far. That was until the day I was taken.
A rogue pack had taken me as their personal toy, all the anger and frustration they felt was taken out on me. It was a good day if I got a bit of stale bread, and only one beating. On bad days there would be no food and constant, torturous abuse.
I had endured it for 13 year, my small body the reflection of years of malnutrition and hurt,.but I'd finally escaped.
I had bid my time, waiting till they made an inevitable error, and it had finally happend. One of the younger wolves had forgotten to check the padlock when they'd had their fun with me and I'd seized the opportunity and run as fast as I could. but I wasn't fast enough. The alarm had been sounded and there were now several wolves hot on my heels and I could run no further I had to accept my fate. He was less than a metre away from me when our of nowhere another wolf - russet in colour intercepted him in mid air, knocking him over with the force of an elephant. I could hear the snarling and snapping of jaws as I finally collapsed and
surrendered, the last thing I remember was a tall young man walking towards me .
When I woke it was to a mass of activity.
I drifted in and out of sleep, hearing people talking.feeling hands on me, there was even something about the alpha wanting to see 'her', and a.'mate' and something else about ' killing the pack that did this'.. What that meant I couldn't know in my delirium.
When I managed to finally open my eyes and get past the blindly bright light above me, I was met with the image of a man-pacing back land forth, muttering to himself. And the more immediate threat of someone fiddling with the sheet that lay over me.
Surely with a man this good looking, this close to me it had to be a dream, I tried to convince .myself, but someone shattered the dream almost as soon as is materialised.
"Well hello sweetheart, I'm glad to see you're finally awake," the voice came from that of and older woman with long greying hair braided out of her face "My name's Judy, I'm your nurse," she smiled down at me. "Are you in any pain?" She asked.
I took a moment to take everything in, but I was still unable to make sense of it all.
"Where am I?" I asked, trying to sit up, but everything protested as soon as I moved, even muscles I didn't know I had.
"Just stay still for now dear, you don't want to hurt yourself further," the nurse-Judy spoke kindly, helping me to resettle myself.
Something, maybe me speaking seemed to wake the man from his trance like state and he turned to meet my confused gaze.
He was tall, he had to be at least 6 foot, with sliflghtly tanned skin, the most rich brown eyes I'd ever seen, and hair that was neatly cut, except for a few unruly curls at the front of his head which didn't want to co-operate with the hair gel he'd obviously used to style it.
"Oh,oh thank God." the man rushed over to the side of the bed stopping mere inches from my face.
I could feel my heart rate picking up as panic set in, not used to people (let alone males) being this close without hurting me.
I turned to Judy asking desperately with my eyes for help
She must have got the memo because she cleared her throat and spoke.
She seemed somewhat hesitant though "Alpha, I don't mean to overstep my boundaries, I know you must be worried sick as we all are, however would it not be prudent to give the girl some space?"
The man searched my face for a moment, before straightening and stepping backwards.
"I didn't mean to scare you," he muttered guiltily.
"You didn't," I lied before I could think about it.
"My name's Shawn what's yours?" he asked holding his hand out for me to take.
I kept my mouth shut, years of torture telling me to keep quiet. He dropped his extended up so it was back at his side.
"Alrighty then, when you're ready. I won't push you." He spoke, it seemed as though he was trying deliberately to keep his tone, soft, conversational and I appreciated it.
At that moment the doctor walked in. "It's good to see you awake Miss," he spoke echoing Judy's words.
"I'm sorry to say you're quite banged up." Shawn started pacing again at his words.
"
I would have sworn I heard a growl.
"Shawn you have to stay calm," Judy spoke, it sounded almost as if she was trying to comfort him, confusing me further.
Once the doctor left Shawn calmed down, having dragging a chair from outside my room to sit beside my bed.
"I heard something about killing another pack?" I asked weighing my words cafefully. "So are you all wolves too?"
"Yes, honey, but I promise you're safe here," he replied softly, looking over at me. I looked down again, not able to take the human interaction.
"Everytime I look at you, you look down. Why is that?"he asked, sounding sad.
" I didn't mean to upset you," I panicked.Starting to pick at the I.V in my arm, it was something I always did when I was nervous, picking things, my skin, nails whatever seemed to help.
"No, no, I didn't mean it like that, I'm not mad," he cut me off. "I just mean I've noticed it is all," he lay a hand carefully on my arm and surprisingly the contact helped.
"I don't know," I pondered, distracted by his touch. There was a weird, warm feeling flowing from the point of contact straight up to my chest, not dissimilar to when your hands or feet go numb and then start to respond again. It wasn't unpleasant, just strange. "I guess, I'm not used to positive human contact," I admitted, looking up to see him shaking his head.
"Are you the Alpha?" I asked suddenly. He looked at me, surprise washing over his face at the boldness of my question.
"Yes, I am," he spoke proudly. "Of the Shadowmoon Pack, greatest pack in all of Canada if you ask me," he smiled.
I liked the way he was so confident. It made me feel safe and secure. A few more hours past with us sitting in a comfortable silence, I couldn't help but feel safe around him, and as foreign as the feeling was, I also craved it.
"Are you ready to go home now Poppet?" Judy ssekd, making her way into my room again sometime later and starting to mess around with the I.V tubing.
I looked at her panicked.
"Home?" I squeeked. Surely they weren't really going to send me home. It wasn't a home where I'd come from it was a hell, my own personal hell and I'd be damned if I was going back.
Shawn seemed to noticed my emotions and stepped forward, slowly holding his arms out, and instead of backing away as I had done earlier,I surprised us both and stepped into his hold.
He was warm and comfortable, our bodies seemed to fit perfectly,denim of his jacket just scratchy enough and the now semi familiar tingling from our contact pleasant enough to ground me somewhat. I stayed like that for a minute or so before I became a little more aware of what I was doing. I was hugging a near stranger,worse he was a male, worse again Ii was actually lettung myself like it.
Sorry, I blushed, stepoing away quicky and looking down.
"You don't need to apologise," he smiled.
"What was the tingling I felt" I asked wanting to change the subject.
"That is what you get when two mates make contact" He smiled wider than I had ever seen a person smile, his fangs being exposed in the process.
I stood, silently, shocked.
"Are you okay" He asked moving to step towards me, I held a hand up and he halted midstride.
"I promise you. We'll take things slowly, right now I just want to get you home- to our home," he amended when he saw the look of panic in my face. "So you can rest."
I nodded. Still not entirely comfortable, but what other choice did I have? Go back to the pack that had tortured me all these years, or even end up homeless on the street? And from everything I'd seen Shawn seemed like a genuinely nice person, who everyone respected. Plus,if he was telling the truth, which from heat I could tell, he was, he was my mate and from all the stories I'd heard as a child, your mate was meant to be the one person in the world who would do anything for you, be anywhere for you. They would literally protect you with their lives.
"Shawn I don't have anything to wear," I whispered embarrassed again, looking down at the gown which barely covered anything as Judy finally finished what she was doing in the corner of he room having taken out my I.V. and left.
"I brought you some clothes, don't worry," he smiled.Pullnig out the most comfortable pale pink sweater I'd ever seen, he handed it to me and I was hit with his scent.
"This is yours?"
",Is that okay?" he worried. " I could go home and get something from one of the girls if you're uncomfortable," he offered.
I just smiled,letting out a little giggle at the extreme level of concern he was showing, which caused him to immediately relax l, shoulders dropping, a slight smile gracing his lips as he shook his head softly.
"Can you turn around please?" I requested. He did as asked giving the privacy I so desperately craved.
When I was finished he took my hand, holding his other under my elbow to support my weight.
He was so patient, never rushing me as he lead me through the hospital and out the doors into the world. I couldn't help but savour the fresh air,the cold winter air burning my lungs but in a good way.
"I bet it feels nice to be outside again,"
I nodded, "How did you find me" I asked, as we continued to walk. It was as if now that I was free my mind could finally ask questions and process all the stuff I had never done previously.
"That's a story for when you've had some more rest," he answered, coming to a stop in front of a Jeep, opening the door and lifting me in. The tingling was still a shock,l everytime he touched my skin.
"Feel free to sleep we've got a bit of a drive ahead of us" he smiled reassuringly, before turning the ignition,the car coming to life.
I woke to someone shaking me,it was dark now and I immediately jumped back in my seat, unsure, before my groggy eyes made contact with Shawn's and I realised where I was and relaxed.
"I won't hurt you, you're safe now Pup," he murmured, moving to brush some hair out of my face with a feather-light touch. I blushed at the nickname."I was just waking you because we're here, this is home" I took in the house illuminated by lights in complete awe.
"So you're an Alpha and you don't hurt humans?" I asked as he helped me cafefully from he car.
"You're not human, you're an omega, but no I have nothing against humans," he added, holding me steady as I swayed on my feet slightly, not used to standing anymore.
I stood stunned again," I know it's a lot to take in, but we'll get to all of that, for now though, you need rest.
We made our way through the house in silence, I could hear other voices, yet we never came across anyone.
"This is my room," he spoke, shifting his grip on me slightly to open the door.
The room was large with huge french doors leading out to a balcony overlooking a big yard and a lake, soft- what looked like silk curtains framing the windows, a guitar sat in one corner a futon in the other. There was a record player in the corner, playing a soft melody which filled the space, creating a warm inviting feeling. In the centre of the room was the biggest bed I had ever seen.
It had several large cushions on it and a duvet cover that looked like it would feel like laying on clouds. Just this bed was bigger than he cell I'd been forced to spend so many years in,I thought with a shudder.
"This is your room?I stumbled over my words.
"Well I'm hoping it will be our room actually." Shawn spoke, scratching at his neck.
I turned panicked. "But only when you're comfortable I'm not about to force you into anything I promise."
He held his pinkie finger out, and I just looked at it unsure of what he wanted.
"Here," he smiled, taking my hand and locking my own little finger with his. "This is called a pinkie promise. It's like a pact that you don't break," he explained with a smile.
"Oh,I guess, I must have forgotten." I felt extremely stupid and shit up quickly, the only sound that of the record player still in the corner. I found it so comforting, my own father had had one when I was little and I could remember watching the record and needle spin for hours.
"There's a room adjacent to mine which I've had the maids freshen up, there's a comfortable bed and an ensuite with fresh towels and a toothbrush." he continued as if there wasn't just a massive awkward silence emitting solely from my lack of understanding.
He turned leading me back out and across the hallway to another door. When he opened it, I saw a room, smaller than his, but still warm and cosy, with a big bed, a window, lots of pretty lights and yet more records, this time hung in the wall.
"You didn't need to do this for me," I told him, as I took it all in.
"I wanted you to be comfortable," he shrugged.
He lead me back to his room where he sat down on the bed, kicking his shoes off and patting the spot next to him.
"How long was I out" I asked after a minute. He got what I meant immediately.
"Three days," he answered somberly.
"How are you feeling? he asked.
"Still very sore," I admitted.
"Here let me see your injuries." he reached over picking up a box of what I soon realised was full of first aid stuff.
He was extremely gentle as he tended to he cuts and scrapes that covered my shoulders, arms,and legs. He even managed to convince me to let him check my ribs. This I found uncomfortsbly and awkward once again, but he was careful not to make it any worse than it had to be and he had rewrapped them quicky and easily.
"How do you know how to do all this?" I asked quietly as he gently dabbed at a cut on my hand. "We'll I'm actually a trained doctor. When I'm not working as the Alpha, I work at the pack hospital. There all done," he announced,packing up the box and disposing of he rubbish in a small medical waste tin.
Half an hour later and I'd gotten changed, again into one of Shawn's oversized hoodies and made myself comfortable in his bed after he insisted I stay in his room incase I needed him.
"Sleep well, Pup, I'll be here if you need me."
He went to lounge on the futon, and I was left to drift to sleep, exhausted by the day's events. My sleep was fitful to satly the least, dreams bad nightmares melding to form weird and wonderful scenarios which would never make sense.
When I woke, it was to a soft knock on the door. Opening my eyes, I could see that it was still slightly light out, though dinner than it had been, probably somewhere around dusk. A girl with dark hair, dark eyes and a kind smile stepped tenntively into the room.
"My name's Karla. Im in the pack. It's nice to meet you," she added warmly. "Shawn's had to go deal with some pack matters so he asked me to come keep you company. I brought you some food. He said you might be hungry." She held out what looked like a croisant, the smell of butter instantly filling the room."I also brought a hair brush," she added. "I thought you might like to brush your hair, I know that always makes me feel better. Or I could do it?" she added again, shyly.
"Thank you."I whispered, my voice still hoarse.
The girl, Karla, came to sit on the bed. She had to be the same age as me. Maybe a year or two older.
"I hope the pack meeting doesn't go too long," she said as I started picking at my croisant. "Shawn won't want to be away from you, it's hard to be away from our mates." She looked dreamy as she spoke, leaving no question that she too had a mate.
"I'm nervous to meet everyone," I admitted with a frown, suddenly not hungry anymore.
"Aww, don't worry everyone will love you," she smiled. "We've all been waiting for ages for him to meet his mate and you're finally here." she clapped in excitement, breaking E and forcing me to smile just as Shawn came through the door with another soft knock.
"Ahhh, I see you've meet Karla," he smiled, raising his eyebrow a little bit. " I hope she's been telling you good things."
"Yep, what were you doing" I asked watching as he took his deniem jacket off- the same one from earlier and chucked it onto the futon, coming to sit next to me on the bed, careful not to invade my personal space.
"Are you comfortable?" he asked watching as I pulled the crosiant to pieces no longer interested by the food, now that I had him here.
"I'm alright," I shrugged.
He nodded, and we lapsed into yet another comfortable quiet.
It was only then that I realised Karla had left the room, she must have excused herself, seeing that she was no longer needed and didn't feel the need to encroach.The hairbrush however was still laying on the bed.
"I just want you to know," he spoke, breaking the silence after a while, "that no matter what happeneds you'll be safe here. I'll protect you with my life, it's my job both as your Alpha and as your mate," he spoke earnestly.
He was looking at me with such an intensity as he spoke that something broke inside of me, and I cracked. "Lucy," I whispered looking down and away from his gaze.
"What?" I could here the confusion in his voice.
"Lucy, my name, my name is Lucy." I spoke more clearly this time, though I still couldn't bring myself to look at him.
"Lucy, that's a pretty name," he murmured. I could see from the corner of my eye that he was reaching for me, and as much as I wanted to move, my body was frozen whether in fear or anticipation I couldn't know, but the next thing I knew both his hands were cupping my face. He was so gentle, almost as if he thought I would break. I looked up at him, once again taken aback by the intensity of his stare.
I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks.
"You're so pretty when you blush," he smiled, caressing my cheek.
"Please don't compliment me, I don't deserve it, I'm ugly," I repeated the words my captors had drilled into me for so many years.
"You, Lucy," he put emphasis on my name. "are anything but ugly. You are the most beautiful person I have ever known, inside and out."
"How can you say that?" I replied.
"Because, I can feel it Lucy, right here," he took my hand in his and placed it over his chest where I could feel his heart beat strong and sure. "I've been waiting for you my entire life. And now that I have you, it's my job, my honour to protect you with my life," he explained fiercly.
"Thank you," I chocked out, tears welling in my eyes.Leaning into his frame just slightly despite myself and my fears.
"No pup, thank you."
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howlingsaturn · 4 years
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all the things i love about you
Every morning Callum wakes up before Ben, just when the first rays of sunshine sneak their way through the blinds and into their bedroom, bathing everything in a soft, warm glow. Callum loves mornings like this; mornings where he can stare at Ben until his eyes burn and his heart feels just ready to jump out of his chest. He never thought he'd be here, sharing a bed with another man, a man he loves and who loves him in return. Years of repression and not knowing who he is, Callum feels at ease here, finally. Reaching out a hand to move gentle fingertips along the bare skin of Ben's shoulder, Callum knows exactly where he belongs. 
He shuffles closer, pressing a kiss to the nape of Ben's neck, and exhales. He shuts his eyes close, burying his nose deeper into Ben's skin, and thinks of a way to describe this feeling. He comes up short, his mind going blank when Ben twists in his arms and lazily blinks up at him. 
God, Callum thinks, he's so beautiful. 
He could paint galaxies of his eyes and speak poetry of his heart if only these things came easy for him. They don't, not at all, but Callum still finds himself trying to picture what it'd look like, how the words would feel on his tongue. He's fallen like that, wholeheartedly and all consuming. 
Seeing the look in Ben's eyes, Callum's throat begins to itch with the need to say it out loud, to confess all the things he loves about Ben, all the things that drive him absolutely crazy. 
Ben swallows and licks his lips, still blinking away the sleepiness, and there goes number one; Ben's lips. They can drive him wild and it's not just about the way they feel on his body, leaving goosebumps wherever they go, it's more about the way they move when he makes a joke, how they twitch in the corners when he smiles, the way they open in surprise when Callum makes him laugh so hard he can barely keep himself together. It's the way Ben speaks, rushed and often without thought. It's the way Ben's voice rises when he's desperate or quietens when he's distracted. It's in the way his lips curl into a pout when he wants something from Callum and Callum has to kiss the smirk that always follows right off of him. 
Ben's eyes, as they finally clear, are dark, so dark that Callum thinks he's gonna fall into them and never find his way back out. They are tricksters sometimes, Ben has gotten too good at hiding what he feels, and sometimes they paint pictures Callum cannot decipher, no matter how hard he tries. They're too tense, too chaotic for Callum to make sense of. It's only when tears build in Ben's eyes, a crashing of waves that sweep away the colours he's mixed, that Callum can fully read him. He loves that moment of vulnerability, as painful as it is each time, but Ben's never as honest with him as he is in those moments. He lies himself bare, trusting Callum to pick up the pieces of whatever's been broken, and Callum can't help but soak in that feeling of being wanted, of being needed. 
There's a sharp twinge in his cheek and Callum blinks rapidly a few times, eyes scanning over Ben's face in confusion. Ben stares at him with raised brows, a knowing smile on his face. 
"Stop staring at me like that," he says, voice raspy and deep, and it makes Callum's stomach twist, "You're gonna give me an ego." 
"Didn't think it could get any bigger." 
Ben starts frowning and stares at Callum's lips intensely before he sighs, closing his eyes and turning his face into the pillow with a groan. 
"Hey," Callum murmurs, extending a hand and stroking along his cheek, his palm coming to rest against his neck and Ben squeezes his eyes shut even harder. Callum calls out his name but when he gets no reaction, he leans over and presses a kiss to Ben's forehead, lingering. When he pulls back to look at him Ben starts moving. He blindly reaches for Callum's shirt amid the blanket and pulls himself close with force, tugging his face into Callum's neck with a pained noise.
Callum's a little shocked if he's honest. It's not that Ben isn't affectionate, he is, but he's never seeked out Callum's presence the way he does right now, breathing heavily into Callum's chest and clawing at his shirt like a lifeline. 
Callum leaves him be for a moment, soothingly running his fingers along his back as he waits for Ben to speak. He doesn't. He tilts his head after a few minutes and seeks out Callum's lips instead, grabbing at his cheeks as if he can't get him closer quick enough. As Callum kisses him back breathlessly, he mentally writes another thing onto the list of things he loves about Ben. His boldness. Ben does whatever he wants whenever he feels like it, mostly without thinking of the consequences. He's confident and unapologetic about it and it used to drive Callum mad at first, the way he'd pushed and pulled as if it was all a game. Now, Callum has learned to see it for the way it is: an act of surrender. Ben risks a lot when he's being reckless that way, he opens his heart and lets himself be vulnerable. It's something Callum hasn't understood for a very long time but that he's learned to appreciate nonetheless. So he lets Ben kiss him senseless and opens his heart up in return. 
Callum does eventually break the kiss, smiling as Ben chases his lips.
"Easy," he says with a laugh and Ben stares at him blankly, his eyes suddenly welling up with tears. 
"Hey, what's wrong?" Callum asks and it seems to make Ben frustrated. He shakes his head with a frown and raises his hand with pleading eyes when Callum opens his mouth again. 
"Please," he says, "Don't talk." 
Callum bites his tongue, he's proper worried now, but there's something in Ben's eyes that makes him halt, something in the way he clenches his jaw as if he's in pain, that seems to tell Callum not to pry further. So he nods, stroking over Ben's bicep in a soothing matter, and Ben relaxes visibly. He closes his eyes again, making it impossible for Callum to read him but Callum sees his bottom lip tremble for a short second before Ben hides his face back into Callum's chest. 
Number four, Callum thinks, makes him both love and hate Ben. He doesn't show it, doesn't ever want people to know about it, but Ben feels more than anyone Callum's ever met. Ben feels deeply and selflessly and Callum has experienced a fair share of moments where he's read it wrong, where he thought Ben had been self-centred and thoughtless when he's been the exact opposite. Callum counts himself lucky, being someone worthy of a love like that, but he also knows that it's the same kind of love he's feeling in his own chest, the same amount of love he's got floating in his veins. 
Still, Ben's selflessness makes him angry sometimes, how he feels like he has to keep everything to himself so he can protect Callum from the inevitable fallout. It makes him angry right now, the way Ben hides from him and shuts him down, but it also makes that itch in his throat even worse. The itch that wants Callum to burst it all out, every tiny little detail he's obsessed over, every word and action that made him fall in love with Ben over and over again. He's not allowed to talk though and something in him is grateful for it, he's not sure either of them are ready to hear of the depth of his feelings. As Ben kisses the hollow of Callum's throat, Callum thinks about the trust Ben has for him; the kind of trust that lets him do what he does now. He knows Callum won't push, he knows Callum will patiently wait for him until he's ready and he knows Callum will stand by him no matter what. 
And so here it is, number five; Ben's love for him. Ben lies about a lot of things, probably more than Callum will ever know, but not once has he questioned Ben's feelings for him. They had argued about it before but Ben had made clear then that Callum can be suspicious of everything Ben does but he should never, even for a second, think that Ben doesn't love him. Ben's both complicated and easy in that regard. He does these sketchy things to protect the people he cares about or to make his father proud and Callum understands that, to some extent. But Ben has the tendency to twist words in his mind, seek approval where it shouldn't matter and push away the people closest to him. He's a storm and Callum has found himself stuck in his gale more often than not but he also knows that there's more to it. He knows of the soft breeze after thunder, of Ben's tenderness and apologetic touches. He knows of the sunshine, warm and comforting in the depth of Ben's eyes. It's in the way he kisses the raindrops away, soothing and gentle, and Callum finds himself falling in love all over, every time. As frustrating and challenging as it can be sometimes, there's not a single thing that Callum doesn't love about Ben and nothing will ever change that.
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lantilay-blog · 5 years
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Title:Is it over yet?
(*Warning*dealing with drugs and mental health)
Look I didn’t want to be here, I don’t wanna wind up on the news. “Caucasion boy found half dead on an alleyway.”I swear if you're reading this and your thinking about it, I swear dude I will beat your ass myself. Be an idiot and die or don’t be an idiot like yours truly, and go to school gosh darnit
Being someone like me sucks, and why would you want to be me?
My name is Dravite Russo and I live in Memphis Tennessee (TE) Probably on the ranking for most dangerous cities. The part of Memphis I live in, Beale street isn’t particularly the worst of the entire city but you know...I moved here a couple years ago when I was about 9-years old and I left a lot of family and friends behind that I cared for deeply. I knew I couldn't be sad about leaving some and forgetting some so... I had to change my attitude quickly and forget about it like it was nothing.
New town means new school! I went to Peabody Elementary School and the first week of school was actually pretty laid back. Teachers acted chill too and it meant a non-stressful year for me. I was a top A student and people at my old school wouldn't talk to me because of it. They thought I was too smart for them, basically snobby I guess.Your probably thinking I was lonely, but actually no. I was so occupied with school and the work that comes with it, that I almosted didn't have time for mutual talking or hanging and even taking a minute out my day to breathe. Feelings and expression and even talking to classmates didn't happen.
I was basically a walking school and ate all the teachers. Looking back now I think I wanted to know everything in order to be enough, but see the problem is that nobody knows everything. What was even the point? There’s a lot of parents who see that their child got an 80 and still aren't happy. My parents never missed a chance to say “good job” or even rewarding me with something. Apparently it wasn't enough, I guess I don't want attention, I just wanted to get the work done and graded and move to the next one.
I couldn’t even tell you what made me so insecure about how people viewed me. It's really confusing because I didn't care what people said or how they looked me up and down in the hallways. Future me sees a big insecure kid wanting attention and recognition but also not wanting it at all.Or to even cause the slightest bit of trouble. I felt like a nobody without my knowledge and school in general.
When I went home I’d study till I passed out and for homework I knew the answers were right but I made sure I looked it up in textbooks and looked it up online just in case. Then I’d do an additional practice and then get on with my night at this point… I could have been a prodigy but the sound of skipping grades to be put in higher classes just because I was smart wasn't really gonna work out for me.
I wanted to be able to work hard for those grades and also feel like I did work my ass off. Even if I understood something I wanted to understand it more and more.
When middle school came along, everything changed. I started staying up later because I had a lot more homework and tests to study for. I started to even join some after school activities like newspaper and yearbook club. I started worrying about my grades even though they were good, I still felt nervous somehow. I was starting to get overwhelmed, or impatient that my grades haven’t been updated.
I was in my 8th grade year and still haven't made a single friend. Getting up each day felt worse than the next and not getting enough sleep was because of it. I almost felt like I was falling behind even though my grades again were good. I really felt forced to be productive even though I was the main source causing me to and feel.
I've started to feel stressed and very scared for the future. I kept thinking what would have been the point if none of my time and effort got me a good job or got me in a good college first of all. I thought I wasn't even gonna be good enough after all this. I might have just been in the 8th grade but time was already moving without me so I had to catch up. I’m already lost and pretending not to be.
Then comes highschool. Highschool is… a very interesting place, for many and just overall something. Highschool is one of the most important times for you. It's time to really pay attention and actually do your homework and study till you pass out once again. It might not be college but it's almost like a preparation for you to get ready.
High School was really hard for me believe it or not. Your over productive kid that never chills out says
“ he has a hard time.’’ I know how it sounds but hear me out please…
August 7th 2015, 4 years ago, I was a 16 year old junior going to Central High school. I was in my AP Physics C class and I’m called down to the office. When I get down to the office, one of the principles directs me towards the back to her room. She told me to sit down and before she speaks, she takes a deep breath and w hen she closed her mouth to finish and opens it again to say “I’m sorry,” I think I zoned out for a minute and almost vomit.
I remember not being able to speak, but all I heard her say was, “dead, family.” mom, sister and my dad, had been in a car accident and ended up dying in the hospital nearby. I never thought this… or something like this would happen to me. I remember thinking I worked so hard just to be disappointed. I was thinking now there gonna send me to an orphanage and forget this ever happened.
One of the teachers had to take me to see seem them. I appreciate the one teacher, Misses. Roxxnne for taking time out of her job to take me to see my family. She was actually one of those teachers that didn't treat you just like a student. When we got to the hospital I remember feeling some anxiety and having to force myself through the slide doors. They told us which room each of them were in and we visited them one by one.
Each bruise, cut and wound was hard to look at. Maybe it would of been a lot different if they were actually alive but there not. There... dead and didn't take me with them or why couldn't it just be me with my selfish longing for attention. I tried to hold myself together for Misses.Roxann but once I seen my little sister I just broke down. I never felt this hurt, betrayed, and lost before, makes me wonder how am I supposed to even feel sometimes...Now that I have no family I’m an orphan now. Will wait for years just to be disappointed again. I don’t want a new family, I want my family. I've already seen reality and I know I won't ever get them back and surely if I want a new family it won't be anytime soon.
Nobodys gonna even want a 16 year old. They'll want the younger kids. They have more years with the younger ones so it makes sense. Where Would I go anyway. .It’s not like I can go anywhere so I guess home sweet home...
Let me reintroduce myself. I’m Dravite Russo, I’m 20 years old and have a drug addiction.
Later in school when my addiction started I never paid attention, “class what does not paying attention result to” failing your tests or just in generel not having a fucking clue what’s happening! Come on it’s not that difficult, it especially shouldn't be difficult when teachers offered candy for whoever had that right answer…
I ended up dropping out my junior year when this all happened. I didn't have a lot of family around where I lived so I was forced to live at a good for nothing orphanage. A lot of people think that will have a better life there, but you don’t. You either got a chance to miss your family or missing the fact you never had one. when we do find the one it's certainly not going to be any time soon, like I said.
Throughout highschool and growing up and going through it and all that shit you know. I was really lost and felt lonely and when I found drugs… It really did change my life in a negative and positive way, believe it or not
LDS, Lysergic acid dieth ...something like that but for short acid. What it effects are thoughts, feelings and awareness of surroundings. You hear and see crap that’s not there apparently. See having a high person such as myself try and explain what they're high on isn’t the wisest choice. I mean I know what I’m taking but also don’t really care.
You're probably wondering why I didn't want to wound up on the news dead... Earlier today I decided to walk to the gas station near my aparment and before going I took 4 sheets of LSD. If you want to get to the gas station there's an alley you walk through or drive through. I was about to be right by the store and I immediately fall to the ground. Tears and the acid coming out of my mouth and nose, coughing and choking on my own doing. I couldnt breath, my heart was jumping out of my chest. I really thought I was gonna freaking die and I wasn't damn near ready to die yet.
I’m in the hospital now and a couple of investigators and police people dudes informed me that I won't be charged but will have to go to rehab obviously… When I got to my room I really pondered for a moment about everything. I didn't wanna come out of rehab and do the same shit again so i'll make it my goal. I have to pledge to become free of drugs. To be free from toxic things.
Police report: 8/10/19, Caucasion boy was investigated and was found addicted to LDS and was found in an alleyway found half dead. He was later sent to a hospital and treated and was free from any charges. He was sent to rehab after a week from being in the hospital.8/16/19, 0800 (8:00 am) Dravite Russo was found dead faced down in his bathtub and was assumed to have taken sleeping pills on the side of the tub and a few on the floor. He was prosomed to die at 0300 (3:00 am) hours. in the morning.
Please give me some opinions and critical comments I’d really appreciate it!
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spicycreativity · 3 years
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A Place Where I Can Breathe - Ch 2
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Chapter: 2/7 Additional Notes: See Ch 1 for more information. Read on AO3 under "WizardGlick." Formatting/italics errors are holdovers from AO3 that I was too lazy to fix. Chapter Content Warnings: Brief depiction of light dissociation Excerpt: Roman had already transformed the living room: metallic streamers of purple and black stretched across the corners of the ceiling, and shiny balloons spelling out A-N-X-E-I-T-Y hovered above the TV. "Uh, Princey?" Virgil said, tilting his head at them, but Roman wasn't listening. "Don't tell him," Logan advised, shoving down his own annoyance at the error.
Virgil peeled another poster off the wall and laid it down on his bare mattress. Without the sticky tack pinning it flat, it rolled itself back up into a tube shape. Quietly singing along to the music blasting from his speakers, Virgil adjusted it and rolled a purple rubber band down to its center. Then he put it with the rest of his posters, in an open-topped cardboard box exactly identical to the ones he’d been imagining up as necessary. The weight of his newly blank walls bore down on him hard and he chewed absentmindedly at his thumbnail before catching himself. He clenched his hands into fists instead and worried at his lower lip as he surveyed what was left of his room.
It would have been faster and easier to ask Roman for an assist. He could have had Virgil’s entire room moved (and renovated) in less time than it took him to wave his hands. And he would wave his hands, and give a self-aggrandizing little speech, and hold it over Virgil’s head until he found something else to congratulate himself for.
So, no, despite their fledgling alliance, despite the direct invitation, Virgil wouldn’t be asking Roman for favors anytime soon. And besides (not that he would ever admit it out loud), there was something undeniably grounding, something real, about doing the work with his hands. He just hoped his empty room would take the hint and follow him upstairs.
As he worked, he became aware of eyes on him. It was a slow dawning, an uncomfortable tingle in his spine that morphed into a full-body itch. Spite kept him from turning to look, focused on packing away the meager contents of his closet. He knew that Janus would come, and he was determined to not care. Let him face the consequences of his actions for once in his life.
From the doorway, Janus watched. He watched Virgil reverently fold imaginary band tees he would never have the courage to wear. He watched Virgil ignore him. He watched Virgil prepare to forsake the only family he had ever known.
The uneasy stalemate grew more tense by the second until they were both buckling under the weight of words unsaid.
It was Janus who broke first. Where the embers of Virgil's anger could smolder endlessly in his chest, Janus' temper reared up at the slightest provocation and struck with its fangs, and would not be satisfied until the threat was gone. "Tell me you didn't actually buy that little 'family' act."
Virgil's knuckles went white around the Paramore shirt he'd been folding. If Janus had come to patch things up, he was making a mess of it. "There's nothing to buy. They're not liars upstairs." He didn’t need to add ‘unlike here ;’ it went both unsaid and mutually understood.
Janus narrowed his eyes and doubled down in his attempt to make Virgil catch his meaning. "It's awfully sweet that you want to think that, but let's not forget that your precious Patton is the whole reason you're down here with the rejects in the first place."
"Yeah? Well, he’s also the main reason I’m heading up now.” Virgil resumed folding up his shirt. There was no sense in letting Janus upset him, not when it was Virgil who had the upper hand. He had made his decision.
"Yes, and I’m sure he and Roman weren't just being nice to spare their own feelings.”
Virgil was quiet for a long moment, methodically re-folding the shirt and placing it into the box with the others. "Would it kill you to just be happy for me?" he demanded, turning back to his closet without sparing so much as a glance at Janus. He stared at the few remaining shirts without really seeing them, heart hammering against his ribcage. He had been hoping to slip out quietly and let Janus cool down. Despite last night’s tension, he really hadn't intended to burn any bridges. But since Janus was being so generous with the kerosene…
In the doorway, Janus straightened. He dropped his hands to his sides, staring at Virgil like he'd never seen him before. Something uncomfortably like defeat crawled up his spine. "So you really think this is going to end well for you?" It went against his nature to speak plainly; even now the truth metamorphosed painfully on his tongue, becoming a venom-drenched mockery of itself.
Virgil had never liked the process of drawing the truth out of Janus. It always involved effort on one of their parts, and too often Virgil was the one left untangling the knots when Janus was the one who had tied them. He was just about sick of it. So he left the truth raveled up inside Janus' words and grabbed a shirt at random from his closet. "Yeah. I do."
Janus faltered and went still. Virgil could see it out of the corner of his eye, and the sick sense of satisfaction made him smirk. He really was tired of the eternal chess match that came with talking to Janus and it felt good to score a point for himself.
When Janus felt cornered, he struck. But this ? Virgil hadn't cornered him, he'd boxed him in . There was nothing to strike at. Just blank white walls and the chemical odor of lighter fluid.
For a moment, there was no sound but Virgil's music. Virgil imagined another T-shirt to fold. MCR. Long sleeves. Soft jersey under his hands.
Janus knew perfectly well what Virgil wanted from him. But courage wasn't in his function; neither was vulnerability. He stood still in the doorway. No motion but the rise and fall of his chest, the twitch of his irises as he watched Virgil tape up his box of T-shirts. It should have been an easy choice: his pride for Virgil's friendship. But the scales pitched and swung and refused to balance, and Janus was silent.
"Tell me why you came here," Virgil dared him, searching for yet another reason to not look Janus in the eye. He settled for imagining a Sharpie so he could label his boxes.
Janus was silent.
"I know you wanted something."
Silent.
"Say it."
Silent.
"Then go."
Silent.
Janus turned on his heel and walked away. Resentment bloomed in his chest. Virgil had gone for a weak spot on purpose, had set Janus up to lose one of two things he held dear. Let him leave, then. If it turned out to be a mistake, they would find out soon enough. And if it didn't, well…
At least Janus had his pride.
Virgil scoffed at the sight of Janus slinking away like a cat, head high and shoulders back.
Virgil had never expected to lose Janus, but he supposed it did make sense that things would end this way: not with the cheap words he threw around like a high-roller's banknotes, but with a chill and deadly silence.
"Whatever," Virgil said to no one. He picked up one of his boxes and headed for the stairs.
Janus was nowhere to be found; Virgil figured he was probably sulking in his room with the lights off, plucking at threads that would never hold knots.
That, or planning some sort of revenge. Virgil tried not to shudder. After all, there wasn't really anything Janus could do to him, not when Virgil had this much conviction in his decision. Janus preyed on insecurities, driving wedges of doubts into the cracks that already existed in the foundations of long-held beliefs. And Virgil had allowed himself no doubts. Not today. Not about this.
He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't notice Remus on the stairs.
Remus had been making no effort to hide, but, realizing that Virgil was going to pass by without noticing him, sprang forward to block his path. "Boo!"
"Fuck!" Virgil flinched and pulled the box in tighter to his chest. He glared at Remus and took in a few deep breaths, leaning against the bannister while he waited for his head to stop spinning. "What was that for?"
"Take a wild guess, Little Boy Boohoo." Remus slapped the top of the box just hard enough to make the contents shift and rattle, rage boiling in his chest. "Y'know, when you said you got Raptured, I didn't think you'd actually go through with it."
"Remus, come on." Sadness ached in the back of Virgil's throat. He hadn't wanted this. For all that Janus and Remus had teased him about spending time upstairs, he hadn't expected this kind of anger from either of them, was still reeling from their unabashed hostility. They were friends . Well. They used to be.
"Cum on what?" Remus asked, leaning in. "Your face? Your tits?" Fire blazed in his eyes and he made no effort to quell it; he wanted Virgil scared . It served him right for picking Roman.
Virgil seemed to read his mind. "You know I'm not choosing them over you guys, I just-- I can be friends with all of you. I can help. ”
"No," Remus said, meaning every word of it. "You can't."
Virgil squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, forcing down his doubts. "But you guys are the ones making me choose. I-- Look, I'm sure if I told them how much you mean to me--"
"They'd start inviting us up for tea and orgies?" Remus bared his teeth. "Face it, Virgil. They want to change us just like they changed you," he bit the air in front of Virgil's face, "into a toothless little lap dog. And the second you stop playing by their rules, it's back in the dungeon with the rest of us wolves. And you know what wolves get: Dark screens and pens out of ink and knots that won't stay tied."
"Maybe I don't like being a wolf," Virgil said, sticking with the metaphor out of habit. It usually made Remus happy to have his ideas acknowledged. "Maybe I'm changing for my own sake."
Remus sneered at him, aiming to wound. "Patton must give really good head."
"Get out of my way," Virgil said, fury burning cold in his lungs. "I'll be back down soon for the rest of my stuff."
Remus stepped aside, but planted his boot on the railing opposite the wall before Virgil could take so much as a single step. Nothing about Remus could be repressed or contained, not his anger, not his glee, not even his sadness. It escaped now, despite his best efforts to get a leash on it. "I just never thought it would be you."
"What do you mean?" Virgil asked, studying Remus' wistful face. His heart gave a dangerous lurch. "Actually? I don't care. Move."
Remus let his boot drop with a heavy thud, forcing Virgil to step over it. "You're making a mistaaaake," he called after Virgil, pitching his voice up in a shrill sing-song lilt. A parting gift to the traitor.
Virgil winced, but kept walking. If he was making a mistake, at least it was his mistake to make.
At the top of the stairs, he batted at the doorknob until it turned enough to allow him to fall through the door. He kicked it shut behind him and paused to catch his breath.
Then Roman popped up from the couch, sweeping a hand through his hair. "Hey there, 5 Seconds of Bummer."
"Jesus!" Virgil jumped and fell back against the wall, chest aching.
"Careful, don't let Elder Patton hear you say that. What's with the box?" Roman looked Virgil up and down, examining the coal black eyeshadow and the way he cowered against the wall. Whatever he was doing, he seemed unharmed, if a little freaked out. Not that that was unusual.
"I'm moving," Virgil said, only just managing to hold back a sarcastic ' genius .'
"Really?" Roman's smile was so bright it was almost dazzling. "Say no more!" He straightened, puffing out his chest. "Let's see, where should we put you?" He paused, drawing mental pictures. "By Logan, I think. Right across from yours truly.”
Virgil squinted at him, but he realized Roman’s intent a moment too late. "Oh, I don't--"
"Shh." Roman focused on his desired effect, pictured Virgil's room and all its contents moving upstairs. He would have a bright purple door with a black iron door knob. Oh, and a little 'keep out' sign with a skull on it. And a new bedspread with purple patches, to match his hoodie. And of course, he couldn't forget Virgil's actual possessions (whatever they were) right where they were supposed to be. "There!"
Virgil ducked his head and raised his eyebrows, dropping his hands to his sides now that he had no box to hold up. He almost mourned the loss of it, the comforting weight on his chest. "'There'?" he repeated.
Roman beamed at him. "I moved your room for you!" Virgil opened his mouth, Roman assumed to complain about his precious privacy or whatever, so Roman raised a hand to stop him. "Now, now, no need to thank me." He paused, thinking it over, and regretted his choice of words. "No, wait, do."
"Uh, how about I hold off on that until I actually see my room?" Virgil stared expectantly at Roman, who bounced on his toes. "Lead on, Macduff."
"That's not the line and you know it," Roman complained, but he turned to lead Virgil to his room. "It's ' lay on, Macduff,' and--"
"Yeah, yeah," Virgil interrupted, already regretting his teasing. "And then they fight."
"Don't tempt me, " Roman said. Then he winced. "Ah, like, friendly fighting! Between bros! Good, old-fashioned, manly sword fighting between two dudes…" He paused to take a breath, faltering, hoping for a rescue that did not come, "who are friends. Friendly sword dudes." He cleared his throat and repeated, "Friendly sword dudes."
Behind him, Virgil smiled. For all his boasting, Roman really was trying to be more pleasant. Maybe Virgil should try to extend a hand as well. Unfortunately, "Sure," was all he could manage.
He followed Roman across the living room and up another set of stairs until they came upon a long corridor lined on either side with doors. "It's like a hotel," Virgil observed.
"Go in already." Roman nudged Virgil with his hip.
Virgil resisted the urge to smack him, reminding himself that Roman wouldn't know he was just playing. Instead, he shoved his hands in his hoodie pockets and walked down the hallway to his door. "It's purple."
"Oh, good, you're not colorblind."
"Was that a big concern for you?" Virgil didn't wait for a response before pulling the door open and examining his room. Everything seemed fine, from his band posters to his pet spider in its terrarium. Everything aside from the bedspread.
Roman kept glancing between it and Virgil, wiggling in excitement. "Well?"
"Um, yeah." Virgil forced a smile. "It looks nice. Thanks, Princey. I, uh. I like the purple."
"I knew you would!" Roman gave himself a round of applause and pushed past Virgil, throwing himself down on the bed. "Come feel. The purple patches are fleece."
"Okay…" Virgil crossed the room, trying not to look as tense as he felt. He sat down on the edge of the bed, and put his hand down on the fleece, mind frustratingly blank. "Yeah, that's soft."
Roman nodded in satisfaction. "So," he said, "how does it feel?"
"...Soft?" Virgil repeated, flicking his eyes to Roman's face for just a moment.
"Not the comforter." Roman sighed. "Your great escape! You're finally free from Bialysnake and Doom."
Virgil tilted his head. "Not your best work," he said, mostly to avoid answering the question.
"Oh, everyone's a critic." Roman examined his nails. "But come on, doesn't it feel better to know you won't have to deal with those freaks anymore? I can't even imagine how you made it this long, and that's saying a lot for me. Thank goodness you let us rescue you."
Virgil forced back the instinctive wave of anger that Roman would talk about his friends that way. They weren ' t friends anymore. And maybe it would feel good to vent a little. "I'm glad to be gone," Virgil said with conviction, imagining Janus and Remus listening at the door. "It's gonna be really nice not having to deal with all the mind games and, and random tangents and… weird communication problems."
"Go, Virgil!" Roman said, a little surprised at Virgil's candor. "That really must have been Hell for you."
Virgil, as a rule, avoided lying. Even white lies made him feel sick and panicky. But for just one incandescent moment, he lost control of his temper and let the bonfire blaze in his chest and the smoke pour out of his mouth. "Yeah." If he said it out loud, maybe he could make himself believe it. Maybe he could crush the remaining ache of betrayal, the longing for his friends. "It was Hell. I'm not going to miss them at all."
Roman gave a low whistle "I'm glad we got you out of there."
"Lucky me." Virgil rubbed his fingertips along a patch of fleece as guilt, cloying and viscous, lapped at the back of his throat.
It was funny, he thought, reflecting on the look of earnest conviction in Roman's eyes. When Janus said that 3 plus 3 equaled 7, he was getting at something. When Roman said that 3 plus 3 equaled 7, he believed it. That could be a dangerous combination someday. Maybe it was better like this. Now Virgil was in a better position to keep Roman and the others safe from whatever vengeance Janus and Remus might choose to inflict upon them.
"Hey," said Virgil, shaking himself out of his thoughts. "Maybe we should get out of here. Y'know, before you go all--"
"Fright Night?" Roman frowned, bored with the idea. "That's so last episode. Can't you just turn it off?" Almost to himself, he muttered, "A nifty little Roman trick."
"Turn off my anxiety?" Virgil repeated, incredulous.
"No, no, of course not." Roman waved a hand to dismiss the idea. "Just make your room a little less kooky, spooky, and ooky." He snapped his fingers twice.
"No?" said Virgil.
"Let's see." Roman indicated the switch on the wall he had just dreamed up. "Go ahead. Pull the lever, Anxiety!"
Virgil rolled his eyes. "It's not a lever."
"I could make it a lever," Roman said, a touch petulant. "A long one, too, so you can walk into it and jab yourself right in the ribs every time you try to turn the lights on."
"Alright, I get it," Virgil put up his hands placatingly. "I'm sorry I talked bad about your anxiety lightswitch." He got to his feet and flipped the switch, all the while staring expectantly at Roman. "Feel anything?"
"Profoundly unchanged." Roman stood up as well and rocked forward onto his toes. "Ah, well. I guess I wasn't in here long enough to tell the difference. Suppose that's why we leave the nerdy science stuff to the Great Logician."
“Where are the others, anyway?” Virgil asked, longing for an escape from one-on-one conversation. His nerves were already starting to fray.
“I don’t know.” Roman leaned against the wall and fidgeted with one of Virgil’s decorative spiderwebs. “Logan’s probably holed up in his room making a spreadsheet of Thomas’ vitamin deficiencies or something equally as boring.”
“And Patton?”
“I don’t know, man, it’s not like I keep them under surveillance.” Roman rolled his eyes, annoyed with the questioning. "I suppose I should summon them up to say hello." He gave Virgil a sidelong glance.
Virgil shrugged. "I don't really care either way, to be honest. But maybe don't bother them if they're busy "
Roman wasn't listening. "Let's see, probably shouldn't do it in your room… To the hallway!" He bounded out the door leaving Virgil to follow him at a shuffle.
It was fine, Virgil had to keep reminding himself. Roman meant well, and maybe his antics would keep Patton from rolling out the welcome wagon. The thought of special treatment made Virgil's toes curl. Just because he didn't want to be insulted all the time didn't mean he needed to be babie d.
Roman's voice cut through the noise in Virgil's head and he planted his hands on his hips. "You're not listening to me at all, are you?"
Virgil gave a fake smile. "I got caught up in the sound of your voice."
"Hm, well." Roman sniffed, playing the part. "My talents are wasted on buzzkill philistines." He paused. "Buzzkill-istines."
Virgil only made a face, so Roman sighed and brought up his arms to summon Patton and Logan, proclaiming as he did so, "Look who I rescued from the dungeon!"
"Hey," said Virgil, bristling, but the chaos was already underway.
"Yay!" Patton threw his arms out wide. "It's Anxiety!"
"You never say 'yay,' when I come around,” Roman complained.
"Hi, Patton," Virgil said, not wanting to be rude.
Logan chimed in, "Roman, it would be incredibly disruptive if Patton said 'yay' every time you entered a shared space--"
"I didn't ask for a read , you pirated nerd processor. I'm just saying a little appreciation would be nice."
"Anxiety is our guest !"
Patton still had his arms out. Virgil caught his eye. "Was that-- Is that for a hug or…?"
"Only if you want one!" Patton said.
Roman threw his hands up in frustration. "It's like I'm not even here! You never offer me hugs."
"If you are referring to Patton, he hugged you three times yesterday by my count." Logan paused and pushed up his glasses. "Possibly more times than that, if I wasn't present to witness them."
"Aw, Roman, did you want a hug, too? Group hug?"
"I would prefer not to--"
"No, no, that's quite alright."
"Does anybody want a hug? 'Cause my arms are getting tired."
" I don't," Roman said, obviously pouting.
Virgil pressed his fingertips to his forehead, exasperated. Then he stepped away from Roman and let Patton hug him like he obviously wanted to.
It was hard for Virgil to not shudder at the sudden heat and weight on him. With his senses already open and taking in more information than his brain seemed to want to process, touch was an added stressor, more unwanted sensory input.
But it was important to Patton, and his voice was genuine when he said, "Thank you."
"Ugh, enough already!" Roman said, dropping his arms so he could cross them again. "Isn't anyone going to congratulate me for rescuing our dark-and-stormy damsel?"
Virgil seized upon the opportunity to slip out of Patton's arms and step a healthy distance away. "I'm sorry, which part was the rescue? Was it the part where you ambushed me in the living room and took my stuff?"
"Roman, it's not nice to take what doesn't belong to you," Patton said.
"No, Padre. Ugh." Roman groaned and ran a hand through his hair. "I helped him move all his stuff."
"That does explain the new violet variance," Logan said, nodding at Virgil's door.
Roman muttered, "That doesn't make sense; you just wanted an excuse to use alliteration," but it was barely audible under the sound of Patton screeching in delight.
"Uh," said Virgil, wide-eyed. "How long do you think he's gonna go?"
"Three," said Logan, unphased.
"What?"
"Two."
"And one," Roman said.
Patton drew in a deep breath. "Kiddo! You're gonna live with us now?"
"Yep," Virgil said, ducking his head.
"This is so exciting! We have to celebrate!"
"We really don't," Virgil muttered, backing into the wall. The last thing he wanted was--
"A party!" Roman said, driving his fist into his open palm. If he couldn't be the object of adoration, then he could at least be in charge of something.
Virgil sighed, swallowing back a swear. He suddenly longed for the safe familiarity of Janus' gentle taunts and Remus' wild-eyed enthusiasm. He had grown so used to people knowing his limits, to having his needs anticipated and boundaries accounted for.
It crossed his mind to flee, to run back down the stairs into the basement with apologies on his lips. At least his old demons were familiar ones. He knew how to handle it when Remus got too wild or when Janus got sulky and jealous. And the ache, the ache of being so cruel, well, he knew how to ride that out too.
What Virgil did not know how to handle was the rambunctious enthusiasm of three (well, two) optimists who were far too excited about being his friends.
Oh.
Realization and guilt slammed into Virgil's chest, a flying tackle of empathy. All Patton and Roman wanted to do was be his friends, and Virgil had the nerve to be put off by it.
He shook himself and tuned back into the conversation just in time for Roman to address him directly, "And you just have to sit there and look pretty." A beat. "Pretty scary." Patton turned his disapproving gaze on Roman, who was already in the process of trying to extricate his foot from his mouth. "Ah, um, pretty… scarily… pretty . Because it scares us… how pretty you look."
Virgil decided to let that one go as a show of goodwill.  "...Thanks."
"Yep," Roman said, utterly failing to stick the landing. "Anyway, enough talk! We have festivities to attend to!"
He sank out, and Patton after him, until it was just Virgil and Logan in the hall.
"I do not understand him," Logan admitted.
Virgil just shook his head, privately wondering if the same placating behavior that worked on Remus would work on Roman too. "Just go with it, I guess."
Logan nodded. "Before we join the others, I did want to tell you: Please do not hesitate to ask if there's something I can help you with."
"Hesitating is the name of my game," Virgil said, misunderstanding.
Logan adjusted his glasses, hiding his confusion behind his hand. "Perhaps that was a poor choice of words. I only meant that--"
It clicked for Virgil. "I get it, Logan. Thank you."
"You are welcome, Anxiety. I believe your presence here will be of benefit to us all." Logan sank out, studiously avoiding eye contact.
Virgil sank out after him, suddenly terrified at the idea of being alone with his thoughts.
Roman had already transformed the living room: metallic streamers of purple and black stretched across the corners of the ceiling, and shiny balloons spelling out A-N-X-E-I-T-Y hovered above the TV.
"Uh, Princey?" Virgil said, tilting his head at them, but Roman wasn't listening.
"Don't tell him," Logan advised, shoving down his own annoyance at the error.
"Just go with it," Virgil repeated, a reminder for the both of them.
"Took you two long enough!" Roman shouted from the kitchen. "Professor Necktie, get in here and help Patton with the measuring cups."
"I got it!" Patton exclaimed. "A third of a cup and a fourth of a cup are pretty much the same thing, right?"
"Oh," said Logan, already in motion. "No."
"What about me?" Virgil asked.
Roman popped his head through the kitchen doorway, nearly knocking into Logan. "I already told you, Sweet Coraline--"
"Da, da, da," Patton chimed in.
"--just sit there and look--"
"Scary."
"Is it Interrupt Roman Day?" Roman threw his head back and rolled his eyes.
"No," said Logan, before realizing the question was rhetorical.
"Wait," said Virgil, "So I'm just supposed to sit by myself in the living room while you guys…" He tried to remember what Roman had said before, but he really hadn't been listening.
"While I bake and Patton tries to drink vanilla extract," Logan said.
There was a sound suspiciously like a small plastic bottle hitting a formica countertop. "Uh, Roman, why don't you keep Virgil company?" Patton suggested. "You know what they say about too many cooks. Or… bakers, I guess."
"What do they say?"
"I don't remember! You'll have to chef back with me later."
Virgil winced. Roman shot him a commiserating look. "Fine, I guess we can both sit and look pretty. Comes naturally to me anyway."
"Great," Virgil said.
"Well, Simple Plan, do you want anything to drink while I'm up?"
"'Simple Plan'?" Virgil repeated, confused. "That one wasn't even a real nickname, you just named an emo band."
"Look, I can't be on all the time." Roman made a face. "Do you want a drink or not?"
"Could I have a coffee?"
"Coffee?" Roman stared at him. "It's 2:00 pm!"
"Oh, so there's a wrong answer?"
"Alright, alright. How do you take it?"
"With milk."
Roman nodded. "How much?"
"What?"
"How much milk?"
"I don't know, I don't measure it out," Virgil tried to keep the incredulous look off his face but couldn't quite manage it. "Just, y'know, with milk."
" How much milk, Virgil?"
"I don't know!" Virgil put up his hands. "Until it's a nice beige color."
"How beige?"
"What do you mean 'how beige'? Beige is beige!"
"Alright, fine," Roman huffed. "But you're not allowed to complain if it's wrong."
"Deal," Virgil said, nodding.
Roman turned to go back in the kitchen and Virgil threw himself down on the couch with a huff. Roman got wound up about the weirdest things.
Unlike Virgil, who only got wound up about normal things, like if the person at the door was really the pizza delivery person, or if they were secretly an assassin sent to kill Thomas.
Reasonable fears.
Virgil ran his hands down his face and sighed. Despite his earlier desire to be alone, and despite the reassuring sounds of controlled chaos from the kitchen, doubt crept into the corners of his mind.
He bounced his leg and tried not to look at the door to the basement. The living room and kitchen were technically common areas, even if the so-called 'Dark' sides usually kept clear of them.
Janus or Remus could burst in at any second and ruin everything. Roman, at least, seemed to be under the impression that Virgil had hated every waking moment as a Dark Side. If he ever found out that they had been friends...
Virgil forced himself to take several deep breaths. Everything would be fine. Roman, Logan, and Patton were his friends , and they wouldn't judge him for how he had acted before.
...Unless they did .
"Coffee!" Roman said, barreling into the living room with far too much confidence for someone holding a full coffee mug.
"Jeeze!" Virgil jumped and clutched at his chest, his pulse hammering against his hands. "Stop doing that!"
"Stop entering rooms?" Roman said sarcastically. He sat down next to Virgil on the couch and set a coffee mug on a mismatched saucer down on the coffee table. "There."
"Thanks," Virgil said. He thought about teasing Roman for having made it the wrong shade of beige, but decided against it. They were still getting used to each other and Virgil didn't know how far he could push without hurting Roman's feelings. "What about you?"
Roman held out his hand and he was suddenly holding a champagne flute full of sparkling water. "Don't you worry about me."
There was a crash from the kitchen, followed by a blithe "oops!" from Patton and a long sigh from Logan.
"How about them?" Virgil asked. "Can I worry about them ?"
Roman waved a hand and sat back. "I guess worrying is your job."
"Yep," said Virgil, glancing again at the basement door.
They fell silent for a moment, but Roman was never one to leave an awkward silence untouched. "So, what do you usually do for fun? Or was it more of a Cinderella situation?"
"You really think I'd take that kind of treatment lying down?" Virgil asked.
"Okay, so, what? Do you practice your eyeshadow for hours on end? Write angsty poetry?"
Virgil sighed, thinking about all the things he couldn't give away. "I mean, I guess I listen to music?"
"That's a great idea!" Roman said, a little too quickly and loudly. He waved his hand at the TV. "Go… Plug your phone into that, make it do the thing."
Virgil got up and began fumbling with the assorted wires at the back of the TV. "Are you sure? It's not exactly party music."
"Well, it's your party." Roman smiled. "You call the shots. And…" He hesitated, embarrassed. "Well, you know. We appreciate you, scary screamo-emo music and all."
After a fair amount of fiddling with the remote and plugging random cords into random sockets, Virgil finally got his phone hooked up to the TV.
"There!" Roman said happily, flashing his teeth again. " Now it's a party!"
Virgil sat back down on the couch and tried to make a pleasant face back. He had hoped that the music would make him feel more at ease, but all it did was bring back painful memories of bass filtering down into the basement, of complaining with Remus and Janus about their upstairs compatriots' taste in music.
Even now, the bass crawled into him and buzzed painfully against his bones, vibrating in his skull. With his heart already racing from the caffeine, the throb in his chest became almost painful. Virgil stared, wide-eyed, at the floor trying to keep his breathing in check. If he could just focus on what Roman was saying…
What was Roman saying? Virgil watched his lips move, but all he could hear was the thrum of the bass. Was this even real?
It took Roman a long moment to realize that Virgil wasn't listening, his attention turned inwards rather than outwards. Realization came with an unpleasant twist of concern in his stomach. Virgil was staring at the floor, his eyeshadow a sickly gray.
All thoughts of irritation and playful pouting fled Roman's mind in an instant. "Uh, hey. You okay?"
Virgil took too long to respond. "...Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine." He blinked hard, drummed his fingers against his temple. Awareness came back to him, marginally less unpleasant than it had been before. "Do you… do you mind if I turn the music down?" Surely that was no great transgression.
"Sure, be my guest" Roman said, truly ambivalent. He smiled a little and hummed to himself as Virgil fumbled with the remote.
"Hey, kiddos!" Patton stumbled out of the kitchen, Logan's hand firm between his shoulder blades. "Logan says I'm not allowed in the kitchen anymore." He smiled, unbothered, and sandwiched himself between Virgil and Roman on the couch. "Is this okay?" he asked Virgil.
"Yeah," said Virgil, unsure if he meant it. He leaned a little into Patton's side and decided it was okay. More than okay. Where it had overwhelmed him before, the gentle warmth of Patton's proximity now grounded him and calmed him down.
Like…
Like Remus did.
Roman, oblivious to Virgil's inner crisis, tossed his head. "Did you try to eat the dough again?"
"No," Logan called from the kitchen. "He tried to make glitter slime with the egg whites."
Virgil and Roman made twin faces of disgust; Patton only laughed and said, "I was egg-slime-ted to try something new!"
"Oh, no," Roman murmured, drawing one hand down his face.
Virgil raised an eyebrow and said, "Was it at least food grade glitter?"
"No," Logan answered, still out of sight. "It was craft glitter."
" What were you making?" Virgil asked, then realized his mistake. "Uh, before the egg slime."
"Cupcakes," Patton said.
"I already told you that," Roman said.
"Sorry, man." Virgil gave Roman a fake smile. "Sometimes when you start talking, all I can hear is refrigerator noise."
"Funky beets," Patton said, nodding.
Virgil stared at him. "You keep beets in the refrigerator?"
Patton wasn't listening. "Ooh! Brocc-n-roll!"
The conversation dissolved into increasingly dubious vegetable puns, which Virgil avoided contributing to. He was more than content to sit back and watch Roman's and Patton's energies bounce off each other as the conversation grew increasingly absurd.
It was moments like these that made Virgil think, maybe things would be okay after all. Change was scary but Virgil had his friends.
Logan emerged from the kitchen a few minutes later, uncharacteristically ruffled. Flour left chalky marks on his shirt and tie, and glitter clung to his fingers despite all his efforts at the kitchen sink.
"Hi," Virgil said with a lazy wave. "Please stop them."
"What are they doing?" Logan asked. "I stopped listening when they started making puns." He sat down in the chair that sat perpendicular to the couch and looked expectantly at Virgil.
"Still puns," Virgil said. "Endless puns."
"It's fine," Roman said. "We can be done with puns."
"Only if you ask nicely!" Patton said. They all peered at him expectantly. "You said no more puns," he said, confused. "Should I have made one?"
"No need, Patton," Logan said hurriedly.
"Digging the new look, by the way," Virgil said by way of pointing out that Logan was covered in flour.
Logan squinted at him, puzzled, then looked down at himself. "Ah. One of the many hazards of working in a kitchen." He imagined his clothes clean and nodded in satisfaction at the result.
Unable to help himself, Virgil added, "Other hazards include: Setting your stove on fire, setting your self on fire." He paused, thinking. "Ants."
Patton took his cue to counteract Virgil's anxiety. "But if you don't take the risk, then you don't get the reward!"
"Cupcakes!" Roman said with equal enthusiasm.
The oven timer beeped.
Logan frowned. "It hasn't even been two minutes."
"I got impatient," Roman said, and kept going to try to talk his way out of a lecture on hard work. "And besides, don't we all have better things to do than sit around and wait for cupcakes to bake? Such as eating cupcakes?"
"Roman's right," Patton said.
Logan considered this, pushing up his glasses. "I suppose I could use the extra time to get some work done."
"Wow, Teach, you're leaving us just like that?" Virgil said instead of asking Logan to stay.
"Not before cupcakes he's not," Patton said firmly. "Roman?"
"Say no more." Roman made an extravagant hand gesture, and a tray of cooled, perfectly frosted cupcakes appeared on the coffee table.
"I was going to frost them," Logan said. "And I do have to wonder what the point was of having Patton and I bake in the first place."
"Oh, it seemed like a good idea at the time." Roman waved Logan off. "Anyway, Purple Menace, it's your party. You get the first cupcake."
"Thanks." Virgil grabbed one at random before he could start worrying about if there was a right or wrong answer. "So," he said, forcing himself out of his comfort zone, "since it is my party and all… Do you guys think you might want to spend the rest of the day with me? Only if you want to. It's cool if not."
"Of course we will!" Patton said, only just resisting the urge to wrap his arms around Virgil.
"Yeah," Roman said readily, "sure."
They all looked at Logan, who nodded. "If that's what you want."
Virgil looked down to hide his smile.
--
Virgil kept unusual hours at the best of times, plagued by insomnia and racing thoughts.
Tonight was no different. In fact, tonight was worse. After the day ended and the warmth and comfort of his friends faded away, Virgil found himself alone with his thoughts.
Thoughts that kept straying to Remus and Janus. The reality of their anger at him twisted in his stomach and stoked the fires of rage in his own chest until he was burning with it. Some friends th ey were, turning on him the second he tried to improve his own situation. They knew better than anyone just how much he'd disliked tormenting Thomas and antagonizing the others.
Virgil let out an angry huff and punched the volume button on his headphones. He knew better than to try to go to bed when he was this worked up, so he turned to his tried and true method of drowning out his thoughts: turning up his music until he felt it in his jaw.
It didn't work.
Virgil ripped his headphones off and tossed them away from him, careful even in his anger to not do anything that would cause them to break. He stood and crossed his arms over his chest. It was late enough that everyone else was probably asleep. He could go down to the kitchen and eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag without any questioning eyes on him.
He sank out of his room and popped up in the kitchen so focused on his goal that he didn't even notice Patton standing by the sink.
Patton in turn didn't notice Virgil until they both jumped in fright at the sensation of something in their peripherals.
"Oh!" Patton covered his mouth with his hand and took in a deep breath. "You scared me, kiddo!"
Virgil fell against the fridge, taking in a few deep breaths of his own. "Likewise."
Patton looked Virgil over, raising an eyebrow at Virgil's attire. "Late night?"
"Pretty much always. What about you?"
"I couldn't sleep," Patton said, glancing at Virgil to check in with him before continuing, "I was kinda worried about you."
Virgil shuffled over so he could nudge Patton with his hip. "C'mon, worrying is my job."
"I know," Patton said fondly. "I just… I want you to know that we care about you, and… Well, I just keep thinking about what you probably had to put up with living with Deceit and the Duke, and I'm a little concerned they might, y'know, try something."
"Oh," said Virgil, as a shot of panic rang his body like a bell.
"But don't worry!" Patton said. "We'll keep you safe!"
"Oh, dear." Janus flashed into view between them and looked at them both in turn. "Safe from what? "
"Um," said Patton, blushing up to his ears. "Heya, Deceit."
Janus dipped his chin and fixed Patton with an amused smirk that he had never practiced in his bathroom mirror. "Morality." He leaned back against the counter and waved a hand. "Oh, don't let me interrupt you. Please do tell Anxiety what it is you're going to keep him safe from."
"Ah," said Patton, fidgeting. "Um. It was sort of a private conversation."
"You can trust me." Janus touched his fingertips to his chest, expression open. "Have I ever given you a reason not to?"
"I guess not, no."
"So go ahead." Janus stared Patton down, delighting in his discomfort.
Virgil recovered his wits and only just managed to keep himself from snarling like a dog. "Leave him alone."
"Me?" Janus grinned at Virgil, revealing mismatched canines. "I'm harmless."
A sudden memory flashed through Virgil's mind: He and Janus eavesdropping on their upstairs neighbors. "Wait, were you just waiting by the door for me to show up?"
"No," Janus lied, spitting out the word too quickly. He saw no need whatsoever to let Virgil know that Janus had wanted to check on him and make sure the Lights weren't unduly punishing him for the perceived transgression of having once been 'Dark'. In fact, he'd gone into this with no intention of interacting with Patton at all, but he never could resist the opportunity to make a dramatic entrance.
"Dude." Virgil scoffed, smiling incredulously. "That's so lame."
Janus examined the back of one hand, propping up a facade of cool indifference. "More or less lame than listening to the same My Chemical Romance song 58 times in a row?" Janus teased, sweeping his gaze down Virgil's face. "By your estimate?"
Virgil was about to answer when he noticed Patton staring at him in confusion. He caught hold of his anger again and injected it into his words. "Did you actually want something or did you just come around to try to scare me?"
"This was a common area last time I checked," Janus said, pretending to look around.
Virgil would have liked to have pressed him. For all his scheming and planning, Janus had never mastered the art of the contingency plan. If Virgil taunted him, told him to carry on with his business in the kitchen, Janus would stutter out an excuse, turn tail, and flee.
But there was Patton, watching their rapport with interest and concern, and Virgil couldn't risk handing him any more pieces of the puzzle. Even Patton, who saw the best in everyone, seemed to believe that Janus and Remus had held Virgil hostage all those years. What would he say if he knew the truth?
Virgil took Patton by the hand. "Don't let us stop you, then. Come on, Pat." He sank out, hoping Patton would follow him to his room.
Patton took the hint and rose up by Virgil's door. He looked around uneasily at the spider curtains and the white webbing strung across the walls, but no wave of wild-eyed panic struck his mind. "That's funny."
"Haha," Virgil said, instantly regretting his weak attempt at humor. "Sorry. What's funny?"
"I'm not quite as scared as I was last time," Patton said.
Virgil stared at the purple-plated switch Roman had made earlier. "No way. No way that worked. Ugh, he's going to be insufferable if he finds out." Patton smiled vacantly and nodded. Virgil said , "Don't say anything to Roman, but you should be good to spend time in here with me. I-if you want to."
"Do you want to talk about what just happened?" Patton asked, not moving from the doorway. Even in the absence of blind panic, he could still feel phantom legs crawling across his bare skin if he stared at any one piece of spider decor for too long.
"I don't know," Virgil said, sighing heavily. "Are you okay?"
Patton couldn't help but shudder as he tried to tear his eyes away from Virgil's spider tank. He swallowed down his fear. Virgil needed him. He could be brave if it meant helping Virgil feel better. "Oh, don't worry about me." He forced himself not to think and crossed the room so he could sit next to Virgil on the bed. "How do you feel?"
"I don't know," Virgil said, unable to look Patton in the eye. This was his drama to worry about, not anyone else's. He shouldn't-- couldn't burden Patton with this. Lies danced on the tip of his tongue, so bitter he could almost taste them. He wondered if Janus could sense it, if Janus was laughing at him on the basement stairs. "It's over between us," Virgil said.
"Was it…" Patton hesitated. "I mean, were they… It's just that you're so sweet, and Deceit and the Duke are so scary . And… I mean, Deceit never comes into the kitchen. D'you think he was going to--" Patton broke off with a shudder. " Try something?"
Virgil couldn't even bring himself to protest at the idea that Patton didn't find him scary anymore, awash in nostalgia; half-formed memories of coffee on hazy mornings, reluctant cuddle piles on the couch, bickering for the sake of it, all warming and chilling him at the same time. "Maybe," Virgil said. It wasn't technically a lie, he told himself, just a misdirection. And if it kept Patton safe from Janus' mind games then Virgil would tell a thousand lies, never mind what that said about him. "He can be pretty scary when he wants to be.
"And you're okay?" Patton asked, still concerned. "You still seem pretty shaken up." Virgil was pale and his eyeshadow had gone dangerously dark. Patton wanted to wrap him up in a blanket and never let anything bad happen to him again, his chest ached with it.
"I didn't like how Deceit talked to you," Virgil said, and a burst of anger formed out of the fear for one incandescent moment. Janus had been playing a game with Patton, but it wasn't fair when Patton didn't know the rules. Janus would weave threats and insults into his words but never once speak impolitely or out of turn, and push and goad and tease until he found a breaking point. He had pinned Patton's back against the wall in less than a minute and would have kept toying with him just for the game of it had Virgil not stepped in. Virgil had been the victim of this trick before, in much more lighthearted circumstances. Janus would put words in your mouth and then condemn you for them with the holier-than-thou countenance of a tithe-stealing priest. "He's dangerous to talk to. Promise me you'll come get me if he ever catches you alone, okay?"
"Sure, kiddo." Patton didn't fully understand, but if it was important to Virgil, then it was important to him, too. He held up his pinkie. "Pinkie swear."
"Oh," said Virgil, softening. "We don't have to--"
"It's legally binding," Patton said seriously.
Virgil smiled despite himself and hooked pinkies with Patton. "Okay. Pinkie swear."
Patton drew his hand back and smothered a yawn behind it. "Sorry, kiddo, it's just a little be-yawn-d my bedtime. But I'm happy to stay up with you as long as you need!"
Guilt flooded Virgil's mind, choking out rationality and guiding him toward panic. "Oh, jeeze, I'm sorry. I won't keep you up."
“Aw, it’s okay,” Patton said, not missing the way Virgil’s body tensed up and his breathing quickened. “I’ll stay up with you all night if you want me to. We could even make a blanket fort. Just maybe…” He wiggled in place, thinking of spiders again. “Maybe in the living room or the hall.”
"It's okay, Pat." Virgil stifled a yawn of his own, burying his face in the collar of his hoodie. "Think I'm gonna crash soon, anyway." A small, cruel part of him protested at the idea that he would need special treatment and desperately wanted to throw it back in Patton's face. He wasn't a sweetheart, he wasn't a baby. He didn't need to crawl into a blanket fort with Dad just because he was a little stressed.
Okay, so he was a lot stressed, but he still didn't need coddling. He wasn't Roman .
"Should I go, then?" Patton asked, glancing at the door. He had seen Virgil's face go sour and adjusted his approach accordingly. It went against his nature, against his function, to leave someone upset without doing everything he could to fix it, but he was perceptive enough to grasp that Virgil wanted space.
Virgil nodded and yawned again, the ugliness draining from his face as though it had never been there at all. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Good night, Virgil." Patton stood, but hovered in the doorway. "Want me to get your light?"
Virgil kicked off his shoes and nodded. "Sure." Virgil hoped that Roman hadn't shuffled his clothing around too much. He wasn't in the mood to hunt for his pajamas in the dark. "See you in the morning?"
Patton nodded, turned off the light, and left.
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