#coral looks gay like that's a lesbian right there

[mostofthingsmostofthetime]

My thoughts on The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes movie

I don’t know if I liked it as much as the original films (maybe Mockingjay 1 & 2 as they are pretty emotionally draining), but I still enjoyed it.

I think where it fell a little flat for me is 1. The beginning was a bit slow (tbh I only really started getting interested when Lucy Gray stuck that snake down that girl’s dress & even then I enjoyed the story more when the setting changed from the Capitol to the district) 2. I knew Snow would survive 3. I’d already been spoiled online for a lot of stuff that happens & 4. while I know the director did his best to make Snow as “likeable” as he could for as long as possible, even before he started getting “a little too comfortable” with killing & snitching I didn’t find him as sympathetic as Katniss or Peeta (but that is probably again down to the fact that I know what he goes onto do & there’s no real way around that), this made engaging with him difficult for me.

The world is fascinating. Getting to see all the new locations we never had access to before as well as old locations now in a totally different light (for example district 12 which, while still clearly suffering, seemed like such a bustling industrial town compared to how it is in Katniss’s time). It might have a much more retro aesthetic but there's also just a more vibrant, natural, wild & lawless atmosphere to this movie compared to the others in the franchise. The whole scope of the film just felt more cinematic then I remember the others being yet also weirdly intimate. Maybe because it was one contained story & we knew the main character’s fate from the start. I also loved the title cards signifying the start of each section of the story like from the books & wished they'd done something similar for the other films. It just added a certain flair to the whole thing. Almost gave it the vibe of a tragic play.

The costuming was great. The bright red of the academy uniforms.  Flickerman’s snazzy suits. Snow’s dapper black & white outfit. Both peace keeper uniforms (despite one of them giving very ‘1930’s Germany’ vibes) looked great. Grandma might have been a bigot, but at least she was well dressed. Everything Dr Gaul wore (except the top that looked like a used tampon, lol) was exquisite. The main ladies of fashion, Tigris & Lucy Gray slayed. Our Future Capitol stylist looked like some regal yet exotic bird & Miss Survivor was giving Bohemian, country girl realness the entire time she was on screen. Even the extras were serving (like that random couple Snow walked past on his way to the reaping ceremony).

The music was amazing. Every song that played was fantastic (shout out to Olivia for her end credit contribution). The lyrics & instrumentation were beautiful & my god does Rachel Zegler have pipes! Anyone who says the singing scenes are cringy is just stupid like I’m sorry you can’t appreciate art. Also, the words ‘ballad’ & ‘songbirds’ are literally in the title. Plus, Lucy Gray is from the poorest district, so what exactly do those people want her to do in her free time? She can’t exactly hop on an X-box for a few hours. Not too mention that (as the offspring of someone who’s musically inclined) I can tell you, it’s completely realistic for a musician to use their craft to help them deal with trauma & Lucy Gray clearly had more than her fair share of that.

The Grandma'am helped to paint a sadly very realistic background for Snow. As who among us hasn’t met at least one delusional old person who thinks that their/their group’s suffering (regardless of the severity of it or the reason behind their former/newer status in society) means that no one else are deserving of even the tiniest shred of humanity & there are some people who are unlucky enough to not only be related to these people but be raised by them.

Hunter schafer as Tigris is clearly the superior Snow when it comes to things like empathy & overall mental stability but I do kind of wish they’d been more for her to do. Credit where credit is due though her & Tom did actually look like they could be related & I did buy their familial bond (which makes her appearance in Mockingjay so much sadder in hindsight).

Peter Dinklage as Casca Highbottom was a bit of a mix for me just due to his purpose as a character & the limit of film as a form of media. Like sure the audience know that Snow’s going to become an irredeemable monster in the end but without a window into his mind it really does just seem like the Dean is just out to get him & even when we find out why it seems kind of unfair. Like sure his dad sucked but haven’t the Games shown that blaming children for violence caused by others is unjust (& like ok he hates Coriolanus & probably the grandma but Tigris hadn’t done anything to deserve living in poverty, as she can’t control who she’s related to)? Plus, it felt like he could have at least tried taking Snow under his wing at some point to try to hinder Dr Gual’s influence. Saying all of that, though, Peter Dinklage is great at playing an addict with depression & the idea that some drunken rambling could lead to such long-lasting suffering is terrifying. Also its pretty realistic that living with that kind of guilt & in such a cruel environment for that long would make most people jaded & bitter, even if they did have good intentions.

Omg we finally get a Mayor family on screen & they’re assholes! Madge would be so disappointed 😭. It was interesting to see how harsh & overall “boot licky” the mayor & his family seemed compared to decades later, which makes sense as the war wasn’t that long ago for them so the dad probably felt more incentive to align himself with the Capitol as well as not feeling very connected to the district people as 12’s decline probably didn’t fully set in until they really started running low on coal & Snow became president (oh I just know he wanted to blow that district off the map 😆). I also wouldn’t put it past Billy to come up with some sob story of how he really does love Mayfair but wicked Lucy Gray is somehow preventing them from being together. Still no excuse to try to send her to her death twice in one week, though. Definitely not a girl’s girl.

Ok, so a liar. Cheat. Drunk & someone who hits women. Is there anything good about Billy Taupe? Also, trying to get your ex back, while your current girlfriend is literally standing right next to you? Dude, have some god damn back bone! You made a choice, now stick to it. Also, fumbling Lucy Gray, for a girl like that? What’s it like having no brains or taste? Well, too bad, coz you’re stuck with her forever now, lol.

Viola Davies, the actress that you are. What else is there to say? Dr Gaul is almost comic book levels of insane. Like she is how the Right see women in STEM, on crack! I don’t know what she did to get into character, but whatever it was, it worked.

Jason Schwartzman as Lucretius Flickerman is a very interesting addition to the story despite playing such a small & seemingly insignificant role. He is strange in how unthreatening he is while also extremely blasé about the abhorrent violence he witnesses that it’s as funny as it is disturbing. Making him come across as  more human yet harsher than his son, who at least pretends to care about the tributes (in a very Capitol way, obviously but still). There’s also a polish & confidence to Tucci’s performance that I think Schwartzman did a great job of avoiding copying (despite knowing what audiences were probably expecting) because not only are their characters in entirely different stages of their careers but the whole ethos of the Hunger Games is different in Snow’s youth than it is in Katniss’s. Caesar is a well established presenter & during his time, the games have always been a success (minus the year with the tundra) that the entire Capitol is invested in & seemingly in support of. On the other hand Lucretius had the unique task of not only coming into a job like this with zero experience (I mean imagine going from announcing the weather to presenting the fucking hunger games) but also there were no vibes to try to emulate let alone guidelines to follow because he truly was the first person to do this. On top of that, the "event" his presenting has been panned for years as both boring & unethical. Schwartzman brought a slightly awkward, experimental, yet try hard vibe (like a comedian who's desperate to get a laugh) that I think worked wonderfully for the character.

Tom Blyth's performance was great & he was visually perfect for a young Snow (the power of a good wig! Who knew lol). Even having the cool, analytical stare of Donald Sutherland, down pat. While his appearance was very Eminem during his peacekeeping days, his realisation in the cabin and subsequent breakdown in the woods were crazy. There was so much tension between him & Rachel in that scene that for a second, it literally felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room. I could almost hear the record scratch for both of them, & all that building paranoia finally coming to a sudden crescendo in the way that it did? Pure cinema!

Josh Rivera, as Sejanus, was honestly a mix for me. Obviously, I agree with his morals, but his way of going about it did seem a little dumb. However I do think it’s pretty realistic that a teenager, especially a rich one, would be rather naive. Also I’ve heard that he’s smarter in the book & I think at times my frustration with him is more just down to the fact that I’m seeing him from Snow’s point of view. Meaning scenes that would be portrayed as noble in any other film instead come across as almost painfully inconvenient because the focus is always on how they affect Snow rather than the actual victims of the situation. Lastly, sorry, Snowjanus shippers, I just don’t see it (especially on Snow’s end), but whatever floats your boat.

Rachel Zegler played Lucy Gray with the perfect mix of natural charm & emotional vulnerability with clear pride in her culture & a refusal to let the world around her change who she is. Yet there was also an air of mystery & a subtle resilience to her that makes her potentially surviving out in the woods for years without being detected actually believable (though I don’t buy the theory that she went on to become president Coin). Definitely the highlight of the movie for me.

PS. I'd love to know what you think of my review in the comments/tags & am open to criticism (as long as it's respectful) just remember that I'm only talking about the movie so please don't reference anything spersific to the book.

#some other things i wanted to mention but didn’t seem significant to put in the review (+ it was getting rather long) are: #Clemensia you were so pretty & did not desserve to die #like who hasn't cheated on their homework a little #may my hair look as good as your's if i ever get bit by a snake #dill & wovey rest in peace my darlings #Lysistrata it wasn't your fault #Arachane you got what you deserved tbh #reaper you have my respect forever king #lumina really said kill um with kindness #no but sersiously i love you girl & your 1950's farm girl aesthetic #marcus you did not desserve that & sejanus is sorry & in my heart you guys meet up & become boyfriends in the afterlife #treech you didn't leave much of an impression but at least your hat was cool #bobbin my little germin looking boy #at least you gave Snow a good scare before your demise #coral looks gay like that's a lesbian right there #thg #the hunger games #the hunger games the ballad of songbirds and snakes #the ballad of songbirds and snakes review #thg tbosas #thg tbosbas #tbosas #tbosbas #tbosas review #tbosbas review #thg tbosas review #thg tbosbas review #the hunger games the ballad of songbirds and snakes review #southern gothic is my new fravriote genre #review

[gayregis]

Question. Part 1. Hi. I like your blog and your analytical analysis of books, which is always very accurate and insightful, so I couldn't find anyone better to ask a question to. I am haunted by the scene where Regis announced to the male part of Hansa that Milva is pregnant. Then there is a dialogue, at the end of which Regis asks Geralt to do something... I felt connected to Jaskier as a character for the first time because I also don't understand what it is about. ->

P2. I asked my friends who had read the books, and their opinions were divided. Some believe that Regis asks Geralt to dissuade Milva from having an abortion, while others, on the contrary, believe that Geralt should persuade her to do it. Or maybe that's not the point at all? Further, my reflections, which may not be relevant to the question... Maybe I'm the only one who noticed a lot of "c*nservative" ideas in books.

P3. We cannot ignore the fact that they were written quite a long time ago and many ideological and cultural aspects of Poland (see the law banning abortion in 2020) that could influence them. It was the 'poll' at the beginning of this scene that made me think of this. Why do men decide whether to give Milva medicament or not? Secondly, Geralt insistently refuses to call it "medicament" but prefers the word "agent."

P4. Secondly, Geralt insistently refuses to call it "medicament" but prefers the word "agent." He also demands that Jaskier shut up when he supports Cahir that "only a woman decides." Pro-life vibes, or is it just me? We also can't ignore the fact that Geralt is very concerned about his infertility.

P5. In general, continuing the theme: very many sorceresses also lament the lack of ability to have children, and all of them, even if they had relationships with women, were always looking for the ONE AND ONLY man. Moreover, the same-sex relationships in the book are only female/female shown, but never male/male (a quick and disdainful mention in "Season of Storms"). But even f / f relationships are presented as some not-serious-play; remember how Ciri called it all "fun," talking with Mistle.

P6. Here again, I see a toxic-masculine culture that sexualizes lesbians and completely denies gays. (This also reminds me of Poland's situation, where the majority of the population is very religious and homophobic.) I was too disappointed by the stereotypical representation of women: hatred because of the same outfits/jewelry, thin waists and small portions (remember how Yen and Fringilla eat), eternal gossip, and so on. I mean, women aren't like that, man.

P7. The toxicity of the presented heterosexual relationships has been said a thousand times before me. In general, I am always a little upset when I see that someone calls Sapkowski such a tolerant writer. According to my observations, toxic masculinity, "conservative" ideas, and strengthening stereotypes about LGBT people, women, etc., often slip into his books. I may be wrong, so I apologize in advance. I would like to hear your opinion. Thanks.

Finally. The scene I was talking about, maybe you need it. ‘What’s this all about then? Unanimity? Total agreement? Is that what you’re expecting?’‘You know very well what it’s about. But since you ask, I shall tell you. Yes, Geralt, that’s precisely what it’s about. And no, it’s no me that's expecting it.’ ‘Could you be clearer?’ ‘No, Dandelion,’ the vampire snapped. ‘I can’t be any clearer. Particularly since there is no need. Right, Geralt?’ ‘Right,’ the Witcher said...

p. s. From the same Anon with a 7-part question. English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes. I tried to ask questions as respectfully as possible, but I often confuse English pronouns/times/etc. Please note that it was completely unintentional if I made an offensive mistake, and I deeply apologize. I will correct myself if you point this out to me in your answer. Thanks again.

omg i love this and i’m gonna divide it into different segments to be easier to read. also don’t worry your english is great thank you!!

1) “I asked my friends who had read the books, and their opinions were divided. Some believe that Regis asks Geralt to dissuade Milva from having an abortion, while others, on the contrary, believe that Geralt should persuade her to do it.”

yes, this is a confusing scene. when i first read it i was TOTALLY relating to dandelion, completely confused on what the message was and what the in-universe conversation was about. i had just felt proud of myself for understanding everything regis said in the previous scenes, and now here he was saying something and i didn’t know how the fuck to decipher it. 

but after re-reading and also reading others’ analysis on r/wiedzmin, i found what i think to be the answer. in my opinion, the scene is not about actually either dissuading or persuading milva to have an abortion. rather, it’s about supporting her emotionally so that she can make the right choice for herself. 

regis, as a doctor, wants his patient to make choices with a level head and for her own self, not under pressure to make the strategic choice that would benefit the company the most. this is my interpretation but since regis mentions milva has been a little feisty in consultation (she wouldn’t give him the date of her last period... lol), i feel like he could sense that she was really stressed out about this and although she initially made the choice to have an abortion, she may not have been thinking for her own self, rather letting the priorities of the company come first before her own wants.

in this moment, geralt realizes exactly why she has come on the journey, he mentions how she was willing to sacrifice her own child for his, etc. so, geralt needs to talk to her in that moment to tell her that he doesn’t expect her to do anything just so she can be more of an “asset” to the company, to tell her that she is his friend first and comrade-in-arms second, because milva is very loyal and also headstrong and would have done anything for geralt and the company. milva in general also wants to be “useful” because she has internalized misogyny from how she was raised, she doesn’t want to be “useless” like she was taught women are ‘supposed’ to be, as is shown in their conversation.

so geralt talks to her and she makes the choice not to have an abortion after all, because after talking to geralt, she doesn’t feel like she has to prioritize geralt’s needs and the company’s needs over what she wants. 

2) “Maybe I'm the only one who noticed a lot of "c*nservative" ideas in books. We cannot ignore the fact that they were written quite a long time ago and many ideological and cultural aspects of Poland (see the law banning abortion in 2020) that could influence them. 

It was the 'poll' at the beginning of this scene that made me think of this. Why do men decide whether to give Milva medicament or not? 

Secondly, Geralt insistently refuses to call it "medicament" but prefers the word "agent."”

He also demands that Jaskier shut up when he supports Cahir that "only a woman decides." Pro-life vibes, or is it just me? 

We also can't ignore the fact that Geralt is very concerned about his infertility.

in my opinion i think the author-intention was to set up a conversation in which a rhetorical question is asked, which will 100% be answered with a resounding positive, a “yes” all around. regis asks the company, because he’s a character so he can be poised as the author wants to propose a question like, “what are your thoughts on abortion,” which allows the rest of the characters to respond “it’s a woman’s right to choose for herself!” in this way, i think that it is very pro-choice... i will agree later on about what you say in other parts of your message, about the conservatism and also centrism in the books, but when it comes to abortion sapkowski imo in the witcher series espoused some pretty pro-choice views. this scene, compounded with the fact that yennefer, the leading female character, performs abortions as part of her job, and also the scene in season of storms with coral and the king of kerack in which he makes a fool of himself in front of her because she assists women with abortions... it’s a topic that’s come up a few times, and all of the times it has been a pro-choice perspective. (again, this is not to say everything in the witcher series is progressive, haha)

in-universe, i suppose you could think of it as that regis was just being coy and asking a rhetorical question also in-universe... such that he was going to give milva the decoction no matter what the men of the company chose, but he just wanted to “ask their opinions” (i.e., tell them what is happening with milva, because it’s a serious subject that needs to be addressed by the company) before, so he could introduce the subject to them (sparing milva of the difficulty of telling them all) and gain their assistance in supporting milva during this time. (random sidenote, but i like how regis acts as a middleground between milva and the rest of the company in this. there are three genders: woman, man, and medical professional. lol). 

so yes, i don’t think that the men of the company actually “get to decide” if milva would have an abortion or not - their opinion’s don’t matter. out-of-universem sapkowski probably just wanted to set up a conversation between his characters where they could espouse explicitly pro-choice opinions (dandelion and cahir practically start arguing over if the northern kingdoms or nilfgaardian empire are more pro-choice). in-universe, this was probably more of a way to bring the subject up rather than actually asking for opinions. 

i think it may look like there are some pro-life opinions shown by geralt in this conversation at first glance, but there might be something deeper. when he tells dandelion to be quiet when he begins to hound him that “only a woman decides,” i think it’s not because he disagrees with that - rather, that he agrees, but that that isn’t the issue here that he needs to deal with. it IS milva’s decision, everyone is in agreement about that - and that’s precisely the problem, because milva is in a vulnerable emotional state and also a precarious physical environment, and these factors could influence her to go through with the abortion, while in “regular circumstance,” if everything were fine and everyone was safe and they weren’t on a quest to save ciri, she might go through with the pregnancy. so, geralt gets annoyed that dandelion tells him this, because he agrees, he already knows! it’s useless to tell him that, because he already agrees with him, what he really needs to do now is move forward with having an emotional talk with milva, which is difficult for him.

i think the “medicament” / “agent” thing is still a little confusing to me, because i don’t know which one has a negative connotation. to me, it’s a medicament, or a medicine, whic is something that cures an ailment, that has a negative connotation, because it kind of refers to the state of being pregnant as a sickness or illness that needs to be cured? an agent is more like a substance that causes a reaction, i think of that of enzymes that speed up chemical reactions in cells, it causes a certain result to happen - which seems more appropriate in my opinion. but yeah i’m not sure which is the “worse word” to use, or if either are “bad words” to use when it comes to this

3) In general, continuing the theme:

Very many sorceresses also lament the lack of ability to have children, and all of them, even if they had relationships with women, were always looking for the ONE AND ONLY man. 

I was too disappointed by the stereotypical representation of women: hatred because of the same outfits/jewelry, thin waists and small portions (remember how Yen and Fringilla eat), eternal gossip, and so on. I mean, women aren't like that, man. 

The toxicity of the presented heterosexual relationships has been said a thousand times before me. 

Moreover, the same-sex relationships in the book are only female/female shown, but never male/male (a quick and disdainful mention in "Season of Storms"). But even f / f relationships are presented as some not-serious-play; remember how Ciri called it all "fun," talking with Mistle. I see a toxic-masculine culture that sexualizes lesbians and completely denies gays. (This also reminds me of Poland's situation, where the majority of the population is very religious and homophobic.)

In general, I am always a little upset when I see that someone calls Sapkowski such a tolerant writer. According to my observations, toxic masculinity, "conservative" ideas, and strengthening stereotypes about LGBT people, women, etc., often slip into his books. I may be wrong, so I apologize in advance. I would like to hear your opinion. Thanks. 

very much agree with all of this. in some circumstances, i think the author-intention was to break stereotypes and tropes - such as fringilla and yennefer speaking about oysters in relation to their ‘diets’ ... but then, they are actually talking about oysters in the context of having to teleport from the castle, they are actually speaking about high-intrigue political alliances, not something as silly as diets... but the effect, to me, is lost, because they led into it acting vapid and speaking about diets anyways, and if they used sarcasm in their voices, it wasn’t strong enough coming through the text in my opinion.

similarly, i think he tried to do some of this trope-breaking with the sorceresses overall, how they are all vapid and obsessed with appearance, but actually are the political masterminds behind everything. although he achieved the latter, he did not manage to have the latter negate the former... the intelligent political talks did nothing to “cancel out” the previously-demonstrated vapidness and obsession with femininity, and the way he describes women overall is something to roll the eyes (and the stomach) at. (“triss’ waist measured ‘22′,” oh give me a break lmfao...)

i also agree that although there are technically gay and lesbian characters in the books, none of them are “good representation” - the only ones i can think of are philippa, mistle, and degerlund (season of storms, which you are right in describing as “disdainful”) - all of these characters are violent, none of them ever are shown having a healthy relationship, and their “love” either ‘corrupts others’ (i use that term semi-lightly) or is part of some political manuever. ciri’s time with mistle is that of a ‘youthful violence,’ it is part of her time with the rats, her time reaching into her worst most hateful depths as a person, and it’s presented as something to “heal from.” and we haven’t even mentioned how mistle assaults her in the beginning of it all. this is largely a post for another time, but it’s not a good situation by any means.

i also get super annoyed for this reason when i see people applauding sapkowski for being a “progressive writer.” in my mind, he is not progressive at all, although he has his character espouse some pro-choice views here and there, that is not nearly enough to make up for the fantasy racism/antisemitism, use of antisemitic caricatures to do trope-reversal on, misogyny to do trope-reversal on, and blatantly just Not Good gay and lesbian characters. 

in my mind, it’s inappropriate to label him as “progressive,” because he was not writing with diversity and representation in mind. i think a lot of people get confused, because they assume, “oh he included women, so he must have been wanting more representation for women!” ... when he was pretty much just writing for writing’s sake... of his own worldview and biases, nothing special when it comes to representation. and i agree that a lot of conservative ideas slip their way into the books, from my perspective he tries to make some centrist milquetoast statements at times (”don’t be neutral in the face of evil” for example) but wraps it up in literally a fantasy pogrom - which is not something imo for a goyische author to put into their stories. his inspirations at times are clear, and he uses them in manners which can come off as blunt and disrespectful.

#anon #ask #long post / #also apologies its 6:30 am and i didnt sleep so if theres any spelling errors or weird syntax or trains of thought...

[harringrovetrashrat]

Pretty Boy

“This is so boring.” Heather popped her gum, smacking slightly, and blew a curl out of her eye. She and Billy were in her dorm, studying together. Her roommate Robin was lounging in her loft, ignoring them, but it was a comfortable thing. Billy sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Switch it up then. Stop with Stats and work on Bio or something,” he suggested. He turned the page in his Art History book, trying to focus.

“No, I mean,” she scoffed, “I mean, like, studying is boring. We should take a break.”

“I’m not taking shots Heather--”

“I’m just saying--”

“I actually need to finish this--”

“Well, I need to do something else--”

“Oh my god,” Robin groaned, leaning over the side of the bed. “Whatever you guys do, would you be quiet about it?” Billy stuck his tongue out and she rolled her eyes before turning back towards the ceiling. Heather eyed her, tongue swiping over her bottom lip unconsciously, and Billy smiled slightly. She was so obvious.

“Hey,” he suggested slyly, “Didn’t you say you had a new lipstick you wanted to show me? Said it screamed Fuck Me?” He ignored the slightly choked sound that came from Robin’s loft and instead focused on Heather’s rapidly flushing face. She gave him a look that said I know what you’re doing, but stood and went to her dresser anyway.

“It’s this gorgeous red, and I also have a gloss I thought would look good with it, but I wanted your opinion.” She pulled out a tube and Billy tossed his textbook to the side, leaning back slightly. He caught movement from the corner of his eye and saw that Robin had turned so she was facing the room and not the wall. He smirked to himself. Lesbians were so oblivious to each other, it was almost infuriating. Almost. “Alright,” Heather said, popping her lips. She turned and gave him a bright smile. “What do you think?”

“Oh yeah, girl,” he said with a grin, “That’s a fuck me red, if I’ve ever seen one.” It was a bright red, like Christmas holly or a cartoon candy apple. The gloss looked like it was close to dripping down her chin, shimmery and sheen. Billy licked his lips and Heather’s grin turned sly.

“Oh I have the best idea.” She grabbed her makeup bag and plopped back beside him on the futon, turning to face him. Billy raised a brow.

“What?”

“We’re giving you a makeover,” she said with delight. Billy rolled his eyes.

“Heather--”

“Oh come on! Please? It’s 2019,” she begged, pouting. “Guys wear makeup now and you have the best eyes for makeup I swear. I am so jealous of your lashes you don’t even know, Billy.” He laughed at that, and then shook his head.

“Alright, fine. You’re right, I do have amazing eyes.” He heard shuffling and a thump, then Robin was behind Heather, a wide grin on her face.

“This is gonna be good.”

“Pull your hair back,” Heather said, tossing him a baby blue velvet scrunchie. He pulled his hair into a pony on the crown of his head, watching her pick through her various makeup bags. “Alright, close your eyes, Billy,” Heather cooed, picking out an eyeliner. He did, reluctantly, but his heart thudded in excitement. He’d never really tried out makeup before. Sure, he’d done eyeliner and some mascara, because he did have the best eyes for makeup, but anything more? His father had made sure he knew there’d be hell to pay if he ever tried. And once he got to college, well, he’d been too busy with schoolwork and keeping his scholarship that he didn’t really think about what it meant to be out from under his father’s roof. To be in control of himself. It wasn’t like he really wanted to do drag or anything either, but he’d always loved how he looked. Spent too much time staring at himself in the mirror, probably. And he knew, he fucking knew, that he’d look good in makeup.

“If you make me look like shit, Heather, I’m taking all of your scrunchies,” he warned, a smirk pulling at his lips. He heard her gasp, offended.

“You’ve seen my makeup--”

“Yeah, exactly,” he teased.

“I’m gonna give you orange eyeshadow if you don’t shut the fuck up,” she hissed.

“I’d still look good.”

“I dunno, Hargrove,” Robin drawled. “You’re not looking at this orange.”

“Dunno when I asked for your opinion, Buckley.” She snorted at that, and he imagined she probably rolled her eyes too. Billy liked Robin. She was quick witted, funny, and had a really special knack for making ‘dingus’ sound like a compliment. Also, she was friends with one Steve Harrington.

Steve was something else. He and Robin had been friends in high school, making the move out to Berkeley together. He’d helped Robin move in, like Billy had helped Heather, and the minute he had seen him, Billy had been obsessed. Steve was cute, fucking adorable, and then he’d run his hand through his hair and Billy had nearly short circuted imagining doing that himself. Then Steve had opened his mouth and proved himself to be so far out of Billy’s league. He was kind, goofy, but also stubborn and loyal, like a puppy. He was smart, if not a little naive, and he was funny. Pretty much the perfect fucking package.

But Billy knew that he’d ruin him. That he’d taint the goodness that was inherently in Steve, so he kept his crush to himself. And it proved fucking helpful just last week, in late October.

“Halloween is fine enough, I just had a bad breakup with my ex at a party in high school last year and it’s just a little tainted still.” Steve frowned as he sucked on the joint. Billy watched his lips intently, snapping his eyes up as Steve handed it to him.

“Oh?” Billy busied himself with taking a hit so he wouldn’t ask. He wasn’t sure Steve wanted to talk about it.

“Yeah,” he sighed, still looking up at the ceiling. “She got really drunk and kinda, let me have it? Then slept with someone else?” Billy exhaled sharply, eyes widening slightly. He ignored the clenching his chest at the revelation of it being a girlfriend.

“Fuck.”

“Yeah,” Steve croaked. “We made up, but like, it’s not a great memory anyway.”

“Well,” Billy offered, licking his lips, “We could hang out if you want. On halloween. Nothing big. Just get stoned and watch some horror movies or some shit.” His stomach was full of butterflies and he tried to squish them, trying to keep his hopes fucking down. Steve was most likely straight, and Billy really should have seen this coming. Still, it was kinda like a date and he’d never really been on a date before. Not with a guy, at least. Steve smiled a little.

“Yeah, I’d like that.” Billy’s heart fluttered in his chest before sinking when Steve said, “Could I bring Robin?”

“Yeah, of course.” And that had been that. Billy had taken that as a rejection and tried his darndest to not think about Steve and his long fingers, longer legs, and his mesmerizing brown eyes. He didn’t do a very good job of it.

“No, no, no.” He zoned back in to Robin and Heather bickering.

“But the blue would look so good with his eyes!” Robin said.

“Well, duh,” Heather replied. “But gold fits Billy so much better! See, if I do golds and this coral here, his eyes will just pop!”

“Okay, okay,” Robin relented. “But if his eyes are gonna be all done up, you should really add some highlighter.”

“Oh yeah,” Heather nodded, “You’re so right.”

“Do I get an opinion?” Billy said, eyes still closed.

“No,” the girls replied in unison, and he smiled.

--

Steve was having the worst fucking day.

He’d spilled his coffee all over his notes that morning, had been late to his shift at the school store after a shitty phone call with his father, and was now being sexiled from his own dorm. He thunked his head against the hallway wall, wondering if the world could just swallow him up.

Plus, he’d been anxious about not hearing as much from Billy the past couple of weeks.

When he had invited Robin to the Halloween hang out, she had laughed at him for a full minute. He was confused until she brought up that Billy had been asking him on a date. Which didn’t make sense because Billy was obviously straight. Not that Steve was one to go on stereotypes, but Billy was a natural flirt and he’d just figured he was comfortable enough in himself to flirt with guys too. That he didn’t mean it. Because, well, look at him.

Billy was the kind of hot that slapped you in the face. When Steve had first seen him, muscles bulging as he carried a box on his own, his mouth had gone dry. He hadn’t looked away from his ass until Robin coughed pointedly. Then they had talked, and Billy had been smart and charming, and Steve was a sucker for both of those things. Hell, he’d gotten fucking hard listening to Billy theorize about his English homework a month ago.

And then Robin had rolled her eyes and said that Billy was gay as fuck, that he and Heather were best friends, not dating like Steve had assumed. So Steve held his head in his hands and groaned. Robin had laughed at him again, but told him that she would come if he really wanted her to.

“I mean, I want it to be him being interested so bad,” Steve groaned. “But what if you’re wrong?”

“Trust me,” she had dead panned, “I’m not.”

But Steve had made mistakes before. He’d been so positive about Christian, and that had ended so poorly. He really didn’t want to take any other chances. So she came and brought Heather, who Billy had invited. And it had been a fun evening and Steve had thought that maybe, just maybe, Billy was into him.

But then they hadn’t talked for a while, what with midterms coming up, only meeting when the whole group got together for study sessions with alcohol. It wasn’t super unusual, but Billy and Steve had been texting regularly, pretty much everyday, and suddenly it took him hours to respond, sometimes even a day or two. It wasn’t like it was pressing stuff, but Steve’s earlier hope and excitement at Billy’s possible interest was quickly dissolving.

And what sucked is he couldn’t even complain to Robin about it. Because she would fucking laugh at him and remind him it was his own damn fault. It also didn’t help that after he’d gotten a C and B on his last tests (which were some of his best and most steady grades in years, thank you very much), his father had used the phone call to resume his quest to get Steve to major in business instead of social care. Had talked over Steve’s excitement with disappointment in his voice that Steve still hadn’t chosen ’the right career’.

Steve sighed, thunking his head against the wall again, feeling sorry for himself. He needed a pick me up. He needed a drink. Robin was good for both. He took a deep breath and made his way to her dorm, wondering if Heather was there too. She was always good for a drink and maybe seeing Robin fail to talk to her crush could make him feel minimally better.

Also if she had just so happened to message him earlier that Billy was there to study, that was no one’s business. Steve would have gone there anyway.

He knocked when he arrived, waiting to come in since he hadn’t texted ahead of time. Robin opened the door, a weird and intense smile spreading on her face when she saw him.

“Oh no way,” she breathed. “This is perfect.”

“What?” Steve furrowed his brow. She pulled him into the room, smile still wide.

“Steve’s here!” She announced, way too perky. Steve started to get nervous.

“Oh great! He can tell me what he thinks!” Heather cheered. There was a strangled sound from next to her and once Steve had his bearings, he focused on Heather and-- promptly choked on his own spit. Billy was staring at him, hair up, face fucking glowing. Heather had her makeup spread out on the bed between them, her red lips pulled into a cheery smile. But Steve couldn’t focus because Billy’s lips were also so red and shiny and his eyes were breathtaking--

“So?” Heather asked, a knowing grin on her face. Steve opened and closed his mouth, trying to get back the ability to talk.

“I think he likes it,” Robin chuckled. Steve gave a nod, swallowing thickly. Billy was blushing, Steve could tell by the tips of his ears, and he let out a shaky breath.

“Uh, y-yeah, it’s great. It’s, uh, really great!” His voice shook a little because Billy’s fucking lips were just like, there.

“Thanks!” Heather said, ignoring the way Billy and Steve were staring at each other. “I could do your makeup sometime!”

“Sure,” Steve replied absently, not listening to a word she was saying. Heather rolled her eyes with a smile and crossed her arms.

“Oh my god, I actually can’t take this anymore, just fucking get it over with!” She said, exasperated but having fun. Both boys snapped out of their trance, looking at her with furrowed brows. Heather and Robin locked eyes before rolling them. “You think he looks fucking hot, right?” She directed this to Steve, who spluttered and turned bright red.

“O-Oh, I, uh, yeah? Uh, I mean, uh--”

“This is so embarrassing for you,” Robin said, almost in awe.

“Shut up,” Steve hissed.

“Uhm.” Billy’s voice cut through the tension, and everyone’s attention turned to him. He looked to Steve, still blushing. “You think I look hot?” Steve opened his mouth and Billy, obviously flustered, cut him off with, “I mean, of course you do, I’m a fucking snack.” He sniffed, trying to act unaffected. Heather looked to Robin, wondering if she should put them out of their misery.

“He also wants to suck your dick,” Robin added, making Steve gasp and turn on her, shocked.

“Robin! What the fuck!”

“You do?” Billy’s eyes were wide, but excited. Steve looked at him, shocked.

“What-- I-- Well, yeah.” He rubbed the back of his head and smiled a little awkwardly. Billy smiled.

“Holloway, I need to talk to Steve in your room for a--”

“Oh no, you are not making out in here--”

“Oh come on,” Robin said, grabbing her arm. “Just use the fucking futon, you animals.” And she closed the door behind her. When Heather and Robin returned, having grabbed some pizza and beers for the evening, Steve and Billy were on the futon; Steve’s hair was wild and he had lipstick and gloss smudged around his lips, while Billy’s, lipstick ruined, were stretched into a smug smile.

“I think it’s time you two talked.”

#billy hargrove #steve harrington #harringrove #robin buckley #heather halloway #bucklway #boys in makeup #fluff #short and sweet

[thisiswhatwereupagainst]

LITTLE KNOWN X-MEN VILLAINS--- THE RAVENS! A hidden race of psychic vampires that walks among humankind!

The Ravens are a group of vampire-like beings who appear in a story in X-Factor #54 and X-Factor #56-58. Their story stars Archangel, whom they try to make into one of their numbers. Like a lot of Marvel vampires, Ravens don’t drink blood (I think there was a Comics Code law against it for awhile or something, which is why so many Marvel vampires or vampire-like beings are energy-suckers instead?) but they do call themselves “vampires” as well as Ravens, as do others, and they have all the same other tropes---they live forever unless killed and the only means of death seems to be beheading or if they fail to keep their number at 24 through converting someone else if one is killed. They can’t be photographed, nor captured on film, and are weaker in sunlight. They can fly or levitate, and they can teleport by transforming into energy or mist (their true form) before reforming in their human shape elsewhere. They have super-strength that comes from the lives of all those that they have consumed, as the process adds the victims strength to their own. As for for they feed on instead of blood, they’re a very specific sort of energy vampire. They feed on the painful memories of human beings, seeking out people who are suffering great mental/emotional anguish from the bad things that happened in their lives, and sucking it out of them. Which would sound great if not for the fact that it KILLS the person and leaves nothing but a skeleton! They can do it partway, though---Azure, for instance, takes the memories from a businessman to get info on the stock market to fund his decadent lifestyle, which doesn’t kill the man but merely gives him a heart attack. The feeding process is traumatic; a mere touch from one was described by Beast as drawing up some of his worst memories as well as “like my soul was burning, like it was draining away into her hands” In order to find the best prey, Ravens can sense pain in others, sensing both a person’s suffering and their strength in their aura. It’s for this reason that Crimson, one of their number, is attracted to Archangel---she wanted a meal of horrible suffering, as well as seeking a warrior’s soul, for she had tired of feeding on the homeless and destitute. Archangel, who was going mad due to hallucinogens he had been exposed to, was reliving the memories of his torment at Apocalypse’s hand as well as other traumas, and this is what made her want to feed on him. But Crimson’s plans go beyond merely devouring Archangel; she manipulates another Raven, Azure, into going after him as a competition. Archangel kills Azure, just as Crimson hoped, which means. . . .the circle is broken. Another way that Ravens differ from traditional vampires is that, as previously mentioned, only 24 of them exist at any time. No more, no less. They spread out over the globe, but concentrate in major cities. There are six in New York alone, and they’re the named ones who star in this story. If one Raven is killed, as mentioned, they’ve got 24 hours to make a new one. And Crimson argues successfully to the others that Archangel should be the new one, that he proved his power and worth by killing Azure. In reality, her plan is that once Archangel is a Raven too, she’s going to use him to kill the others, and then drain him for herself, believing that his pain energy would give her the power to survive despite all the other Ravens dying. Naturally, this did NOT go as planned. Archangel beheaded her with his wings just as he had Azure, and when Cobalt’s head was crushed in the fight with X-Factor, the rest of the Ravens went up in literal smoke due to the circle being shattered beyond repair from too many members dying: “Ravens,-- creatures seemingly of flesh and blood-- implode, dissolve into their true form of shrieking, noxious mist” that shoots up out of the theatre roof en masse and dissipates on the wind. As a note, the ones in this tale are all named after colors (Crimson, Cerise, Cobalt,  Azure) or gems (Ruby, Beryl, Coral). The names are apparently unisex; Cerise and Beryl are used as names for women by humans, but the Ravens who bear those names are male. They also all hate each other, and are extremely petty, jealous, and competitive with one another. And yet, their hatred binds them together, and they will hang out in little packs to hunt with each other, as well as engage in little challenges with each other, such as pursuing the same prey, to pass the ennui of eternity. And killing each other isn’t an option, for previously mentioned reasons. As is common in vampire media, there’s an air of pseudo-bisexuality/homoeroticism/etc in the way that they talk about their prey, because the male Ravens will say things like “he’s not my type at all” or talk about how they wish they could “have” Archangel right now and things like that, and like. . . obviously they are talking about feeding on his energy, but the phrasing out of context sounds sexual if you don’t know that. The “Lesbian Vampire” trope actually does get averted for the female Ravens, but that’s probably just because this story happens to focus on a male target. And Crimson herself, despite her appearance of being the “seducer” type vampire lady, doesn’t really do that with Archangel---she never flirts with him or rubs on him or anything, nor ever seems like she’s actually attracted to anything but Archangel’s power and energy, and I like that. That said, her dialogue is fantastically campy AND vampy, saying/thinking things like  “I will use his fascination for things dark and deadly to bind him to me” But what I like most of all about them is, like so many vampires, they are DRAMATIC AS FUCK. They kidnap Archangel to make him one of them in a dark ritual and they do it in an abandoned, decaying theatre and STRAP HIM TO AN UPSIDE-DOWN ANKH while they chant in ancient long-dead languages and they drag Charlotte Jones towards him to be a human sacrifice as his first victim AN UPSIDE DOWN ANKH IN A DECAYING THEATRE Like. How Goth can you get? I love it. I love them. Ridiculous. I think the Ravens are really cool, and I like to think that the ones NOT involved in this story are still out there, despite the implication that the deaths of this bunch caused the circle to “shatter beyond repair” and that the others around the globe went up in literal smoke too. I like to think they didn’t though, that they made new Ravens, and twenty-four of them are out there still. I’ve also got a wild headcanon that they might be an offshoot of mutantkind descended from Selene. They’re not just energy vampires like her, they specifically take the memories of their prey, and part of Selene’s energy vampirism was that she too had the remember the entire life of those she absorbed. It doesn’t seem too wild to me to think that the first Ravens might have been her children or descendants, ancient as they are implied to be, and evolved into these completely new creatures over the long centuries who could convert others into their kind. We’ve actually seen that before---Bishop once stated that in his future there were a group called the Emplates, who resembled Emplate (another vampire-like mutant) and preyed on mutants. Since later it was discovered that Emplate can "infect" another individual with his powers, it makes sense that Emplate would be the progenitor of the group from Bishop's timeline. So, maybe it’s the same deal with Selene and the Ravens. To be clear, no connection in canon is ever made between the two, and the Ravens are NOT portrayed as being mutants or related to mutants in any way, but a race unto themselves, I just couldn’t help being reminded of Selene by them, both in how they feed and a lot of the things they say, the cruel and petty personalities they all have, the way they look at mankind, their ancient nature, etc. And like...I think it would make sense! Also:

Bobby: hey girlfriend, what is my type again? of woman? that I like? Opal: It’s me, that’s why we are together, see how that makes sense? Bobby: yes it does that is why I am with you, a woman, who I like I am starting to see why Bendis picked him to be The Gay One

#xmen #x men #the ravens #x men villains #xfactor #x factor #archangel

[artificialqueens]

Sweet On My Lips (Crygi) - Mumu

A/N: This is my first fic! I usually write poetry, so this is quite a change. Hope you enjoy :) You can also read it on AO3!

Summary: Gigi’s a barista and Crystal stumbles into her cafe. Softness ensues.

It’s nearly four in the afternoon when Crystal Methyd stumbles into the cafe with a book bag under her arm. She needs a sugar high. Immediately.

She wanted to go to a Starbucks, but a few wrong turns on the way back from the new tattoo studio she was an apprentice at, and she was suddenly twenty minutes away from the nearest one. She ended up having to settle for a local cafe to satisfy her sweet tooth. How is that even possible? Starbucks is supposed to have a store on every street. That’s, like, the law.

Add that to the fact that LA summers felt like Satan himself was preemptively boiling everybody alive to lessen his workload once they made it down to hell, and you got one very pissed off Crystal.

“Hi! Can I get, uh, a-” Crystal starts, approaching the counter. She squints at the menu, trying to decide from the creative names which drink has the most cream and sugar. Her mouth tastes filmy and gross from dehydration, not at all helping her concentrate on scanning the drink names.

Tiramisu mocha? White chocolate raspberry frappe? Maybe the frappes are sweeter, given that they’re usually topped with whipped cream and all. She traps her bottom lip between her teeth, thinking. It’s too hot out to order a hot chocolate. Maybe she could ask to get it iced, though? Is that a thing?

She honestly should have just walked the twenty minutes to Starbucks; at least she knows for sure that they’re okay with modifications.

She realizes she’s been quiet for a few seconds too long when the barista speaks.

“Take your time! There’s not much business this time of day anyways.”

“Thanks,” Crystal drags her gaze away from the menu and up to glance at said barista. Her breath catches as soon as she does. The first thing she notices is curly red hair, pulled into a shiny ponytail. It looks soft, and she wants to touch it.

Crystal’s pretty sure this barista is the first redhead she’s met (apart from that one time she decided to dye her hair red in eighth grade, of course, but she doubts that counts.)

She’d only done it to piss off her English teacher after he’d gone on a rant and said that unnatural hair colors were an abomination of god or whatever. It didn’t come out to be a pretty shade like this girl’s. More… Clifford the big red dog. But ultimately, three months of picking out clothes to match her hair and drenching her damaged split ends in coconut oil were worth it, if only to see Mr. Rhodes splutter every time she came into his classroom.

A thump from the cafe dishwasher brings her back to the moment, and she startles slightly.

“D’you want some help choosing?” The barista asks helpfully.

She doesn’t trust herself to speak without stammering out something embarrassing, so Crystal just nods instead.

“Great!” The redhead says, smiling. Her nose scrunches as she does so, and Crystal notices the coral-colored blush placed there for the first time. It gives the girl a sunburnt look. It’s cute. She’s cute.

“I love guessing people’s coffee orders. It’s like, coffee shop tarot reading or whatever,” The girl says.

“Aren’t tarot readings for the future though?” Crystal gets out, finding her voice again. Her eyes drop to the barista’s name tag- Gigi. It’s nice to put a name to the pretty face. “So this would be more like a BuzzFeed personality quiz or something.”

“Whatever, I don’t know.” Gigi waves the question away, shrugging. Her smile is warm, and it makes Crystal feel kind of melty inside. “You’re probably right.”

“Do you do it often?” Crystal ventures.

Gigi gets a bit flustered, twirling a piece of hair around her finger. Crystal wishes she could be the one playing with Gigi’s hair. Is that creepy? Definitely creepy.

Gigi considers how to word her answer. Okay, don’t tell her you analyze everyone that comes in here like some sort of serial killer.

“Mostly just in my head? It keeps me entertained.” Or do. Great.

“Cool! Do you want me to answer questions or something? I can do that.” Crystal offers.

“No, that’s cheating. Just, like, stand there for a sec, yeah?”

Crystal obeys, feeling a bit silly. Gigi narrows her eyes, studying her.

“You’re wearing bright colors and mixing prints… that tells me you’re fun and like, a child at heart and stuff.” And you’re really pretty, Gigi wants to add. Really, really pretty, because nobody else I’ve ever met could get away with mixing prints. Not even Nicky, and that girl is a runway model.

“Uh, thanks, I think!” Crystal shuffles a bit. She hopes that being “a child at heart” a good thing in Gigi’s book. She wants Gigi to like her. The realization almost makes her snort in irony. Of course. I’m head over heels for a pretty girl I just met five minutes ago who’s probably not even gay. How very cliche lesbian of me.

Crystal makes a mental note to never, ever tell her group chat about this. (Meaning, the group chat is the first place she’ll go to talk about this after she leaves in around five minutes.) Jaida will probably never let her live it down. On the bright side, it would probably give her a break from constantly having to relive the Mailbox Incident of Summer 2017. She nearly shudders just thinking about it.

“Oh! And cute earrings! Where’d you get those?” Gigi asked, bringing Crystal out of her thoughts.

“Thank you, I made them!” Crystal says, and only allows herself to grin like an idiot for five seconds.

“No way, that’s incredible,” Gigi marvels. “Do you sell them or anything?”

“Yeah, mostly just to friends, though. Once a month I go to an art fair and that’s when I sell the most stuff.” Crystal says. She hesitates for a moment, before throwing in a, “but then again, lesbians will buy anything if you stick a needle on and call them earrings, so.”

“That’s cool,” Gigi says. “And amen to that. I just bought a pair of bottle cap earrings? I have no idea when I’m ever going to wear them.”

“Thanks! Those sound cute, I bet you’d look pretty in them.” Crystal feels like a broken record at this point, just repeating the same few phrases. The praise has her feeling a bit shy, and she can’t help but get a little self-conscious. She fiddles with the hem of her denim jacket to keep herself busy.

Gigi doesn’t seem to notice, still very much focused on analyzing her appearance. “Freckles, cute! Are they natural?”

“Oh, uh, yeah!” Crystal brings a hand up to tap her nose. “I used to hate them.”

“What, no, they’re adorable! I’ve always wanted them. I would, like, dot them on with mascara in third grade.”

Crystal giggles. “That’s so cute.”

She flounders for a second, trying to come up with something to say as Gigi goes back to staring at her. “Uh, I like your hair! I dyed my hair red in eighth grade, but it didn’t look natural or anything.”

“Aw, thank you. Yeah, red hair is really hard to get right apparently.” Gigi nibbles on her bottom lip, thinking. “Okay, I think I’ve got it!”

“What’s the verdict?” Crystal asks excitedly, all previous discomfort forgotten.

The redhead pauses, steepling her hands and drumming her fingertips together. She lets the silence sit for a few seconds to build anticipation, though this time it’s decidedly less awkward, both girls having warmed up to each other.

There’s a pause before she announces her decision. “I think… you seem like a diabetes in a cup kinda girl.”

Wow. Okay, how the hell did Gigi do that? Is Crystal that easy to read or something?

Actually, yeah, it makes sense that she’d get it right. Crystal thinks, answering her own question. I dress like something out of a five-year-old’s wildest dreams. Still, pretty impressive.

An indignant part of her wants to insist that she can handle bitterness, thank you so much, but Crystal’s never been a great liar, and something tells her this girl wouldn’t buy it either.

“Is that… a good thing?” Crystal says, a dumb grin spreading on her face. Get it together, Crystal.

“What? Girl, in what world is diabetes a good thing?” Gigi cackles. “It’s horrible. I get an iced black coffee, for reference.”

“Ew,” Crystal blurts without thinking. Shit, I said that out loud. She immediately flushes and tries to take it back. “Or, no, I mean, not ew, but-”

“No no, it’s okay! I know some people just aren’t mature enough for Big Girl coffee,” Gigi mocks. Crystal would usually be offended, but judging from the way Gigi’s blue eyes are sparkling with mirth, she knows the girl’s just joking.

She still makes a sort of offended squeak, pouting. “I just like the way sweet stuff tastes!”

“Okay, okay!” Gigi holds her hands up in surrender, barely concealing a grin. “Don’t pout, you’re too cute to pout.”

The squeak that escapes Crystal is real this time. Gigi called her cute? Is she flirting or just being nice? I’m probably delusional. Right?

There’s a moment where neither girl speaks. It hangs in the air with the smell of vanilla and cinnamon, mixing until Crystal’s half sure the entire cafe’s suddenly been turned into some sort of fairy-tale confection. She’s afraid to move, like the space around her will crackle and shatter if she does. It’s quiet, safe for the background of the coffee grinder going steadily and some gentle R&B flowing out of the sound system.

It’s a comfortable sort of silence. Crystal likes it, feels safe in the cocoon-like ambience. She wonders why she’s never come to this cafe before. Maybe it’s time to break her Starbucks addiction, explore a bit more.

Gigi clears her throat.

“So, how does a double chocolate cookie dough frappe with Nutella drizzle sound?” Gigi asks, finger already poised above the cash register screen.

Perfect.

Okay no, she can’t say that. Crystal clears her throat, trying to come up with a response that’s not as corny. She eyes the wall opposite the counter, where the menu is, then Gigi, confused.

“Wait, I don’t see it on the menu?” She scans the menu again, trying to find Gigi’s recommendation. Did she miss it? Her coffee budget is $3, what with rent due at the end of this week. Hopefully, Gigi’s recommendation isn’t over that limit.

“Oh! Yeah, um, I kinda just made it up right now.” Gigi flushes, sounding a bit flustered. She rushes to explain. “My boss is, like, super cool though! She lets me experiment and stuff. And I can just ring you up for a hot chocolate and it’ll be our little secret.”

In truth, this is Gigi’s first time making anything off-menu, so she isn’t sure what her boss Widow’s policy on the practice is. But she has this inexplicable urge to want to impress this girl. Gigi wants her to love the drink she orders.

I mean, it can’t go that bad, right? She reasons. Worst case scenario Widow takes it out of my tips or something. But Widow’s nice. She probably won’t do that.

“Well, in that case,” Crystal starts, and then changes her mind. “Actually, what did you say you usually ordered? Black coffee? I’ll take that.”

A shocked noise escapes Gigi. “I get an iced black coffee. You sure you want that?”

“Yeah yeah yeah! I can handle it, you’ll see,” Crystal hears herself say. This is an astronomically bad idea, she knows, but then again, she’s never been one to turn down a challenge. She wants to impress Gigi, and what with her teasing earlier, she honestly feels like she has something to prove.

“Okay, your funeral,” Gigi relents, raising an eyebrow. “That’ll be $2.49, then.”

Crystal hands her card over, watching Gigi go through the motions of scanning it, handing it back to her, and tearing off the receipt.

“You want the receipt?” Gigi asks.

“Nah, I trust you,” Crystal winks at the other girl, surprising even herself with her boldness.

Crystal thinks she sees Gigi redden, though that could just be a combination of her makeup and a trick of the light. Something tells her that the redhead is fond of blush, what with the way the coral powder has been taken across the bridge of Gigi’s nose and on her cheekbones.

“Okay!” Gigi flashes her a smile and grabs a cup and sharpie. Two can play this game. “Can I get a name for the order, babes?”

“Um, it’s- it’s Crystal.” Crystal blinks, trying to figure out whether she heard that right. Whatever boldness possessed her to wink at the pretty girl in front of her fled the moment that pet name passed Gigi’s lips.

“Well, nice to meet you then, It’s It’s Crystal,” Gigi says with a smirk. “One iced black coffee coming right up! Why don’t you take a seat and I’ll bring it to you when it’s done.”

Crystal plops down at the nearest table, watching Gigi work. Now that she has an excuse to just quietly observe, Crystal takes in Gigi’s full appearance. Her red hair is glossy and shiny under the sunlight that streams through the cafe’s windows, and she moves with expert ease through the space behind the counter. Her apron is checkered red and white. It’s tied in a bow at the back—a bow that’s lopsided, sagging slightly to the left, Crystal notes with a smile.

The girl is gorgeous, there’s no doubt about it. If Crystal met her on the street she definitely would have mistaken her for a model. And she was nice, too.

Nobody ever noticed her freckles or complimented her on her earrings the first time they met her. Most people thought her style of dress was weird, and Crystal figures that’s fair enough. Just the other day she wore a magenta jumpsuit with matching bunny ears. Anyone in their right mind would be a little taken aback at her fashion (as Jaida put it, her aesthetic is best described as “thrift store on acid.” Not exactly everyone’s cup of tea.) But Gigi got her right away, and a little part of Crystal wants to take that as a sign. Okay, maybe a large part.

Just as Crystal’s about to get lost in her daydreams again, Gigi bustles over with two cups, one in each hand.

“I made you a cookie dough frappe just in case,” She says, setting both cups on the table. “It’s on the house.”

Crystal exhales a light laugh. “You didn’t have to.”

“Oh,” Gigi says. She shifts her weight onto the other foot, suddenly shy, and gestures lamely towards the two drinks. “I wanted to. Just in case, like, the black coffee was too bitter. Sorry. You don’t have to drink it, uh, if you don’t want to.”

She offers an awkward smile. “I won’t force you.”

“Oh! Uh, no!” Crystal says, a little louder than necessary in her haste to reassure the other girl. Gigi jumps, and Crystal grabs her hand out of impulse. The movement jerks Gigi closer to her. “I mean, thanks. You don’t have to apologize. It’s really sweet of you to think of that.”

Gigi blushes, and Crystal’s suddenly acutely aware of the fact that she’s holding the girl’s hand.

And the fact that they’re the only people in this cafe. And the fact that when Crystal grabbed Gigi’s hand, it sent her stumbling a step closer, so now she’s pressed right against Crystal’s leg.

Gigi is very, very close to her all of a sudden, and her hair is really pretty, especially with the sunlight backlighting the frizz into a golden halo. She looks like an angel, and her eyes are hypnotizing.

Crystal wants to kiss her.

“Okay,” Gigi whispers, and licks her lips. It dawns on Crystal that she said that last part out loud. Fuck.

But Crystal can’t think, can’t panic, because Gigi’s so close and she smells like chocolate cake when it’s freshly out of the oven and still gooey in the center, just the way her abuelita makes it, and she’s warm and everything Crystal has ever imagined or wanted. Everything molecule in Crystal is telling her to crash into Gigi, and she decides to just go along with her instincts, because when a pretty girl is that close to her there’s no way Crystal can think logically.

“O-kay,” Crystal whispers back, stretching out the word, and then Gigi’s lips are on hers and they’re soft.

God, they’re soft. Gotta ask for her lip balm brand, Crystal thinks, because that’s a perfectly normal thing to ask someone you’re kissing, and then Gigi’s shifting positions and sliding into her lap to kiss her more comfortably and she’s lost the ability to think again.

All she can do is feel, feel the way Gigi’s hand snakes around her waist, the way Gigi’s eyelashes are fluttering against her nose bridge, the way Gigi’s hair is smooth as she tangles a hand in it, the way her heart feels like it’s soaring and exploding all at once and each one of her veins seems to be pumped full of fizzy champagne all of a sudden. All she can feel is Gigi, and she thinks she likes that.

As they part, Crystal accidentally bumps her nose against Gigi’s. She pulls away, wincing, and meets Gigi’s eyes for one very still moment. They peer at each other in wonder, as if discovering each other for the first time, and then Gigi’s lips quirk and she’s giggling. Before long, Crystal’s joining in too, and both lose it, still riding high off the adrenaline of the kiss.

After they’ve both calmed down, Crystal motions to the drinks on the table. “Wanna share?”

Gigi smiles softly at her. “Yeah, sure.”

Crystal grabs the black coffee and takes a small, tentative sip. She immediately chokes, breaking into a coughing fit. Gigi pounds her back, hard, then races behind the counter and pours her a small cup of water. After Crystal’s done hacking her guts out, she accepts it gratefully, trying to catch her breath.

“That,” She pants, “Is fucking disgusting.”

Gigi lets out a full-bellied laugh. It’s the prettiest thing Crystal’s ever heard, she thinks, which is saying a lot because she’s been to at least one show for all four of the One Direction tours. ‘“What a feeling” harmonies can’t even come close to the magic of Gigi’s laugh. Crystal wants to hear it over and over.

“I tried to warn you,” Gigi says with a snort, then covers her mouth, eyes wide and mortified, clearly shocked at the sound she produced. The comical expression sends Crystal straight into another bout of laughter, and before long they’re both losing it again.

Sometime later in the afternoon, somehow, Gigi ends up in Crystal’s lap again. Crystal’s lost track of time, but she doesn’t mind. She wants to kiss Gigi again, and again, and again. She doesn’t think she’ll ever get tired of looking at her, kissing the sweet almond balm off her lips, touching her. Crystal wants to be in her presence forever. Gigi’s tongue pokes out of the left side of her mouth as she gazes down at Crystal, lazily tracing the smattering of freckles across her nose, forehead, and cheekbones with her peach nails.

“I wanna kiss every one of them,” Gigi whispers.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Then: “They’re cute.”

Crystal’s pretty sure if she wasn’t already giving heart eyes to Gigi, they are most certainly happening now. “You’re cute.”

“Can I? Kiss them.”

“There’s a lot of them,” Crystal says. It’s breathy, a challenge and a plea at the same time.

Gigi smiles, tucking a fallen strand of hair behind Crystal’s ear. “We have time.”

And they do, so Crystal lets Gigi kiss her until the drinks beside them are both completely melted and the whipped cream in Crystal’s has gone all weepy and deflated. Gigi insists on making her a new one, and on entering her number into Crystal’s phone before she leaves.

Crystal goes home and dreams of her.

#rpdr fanfiction #crystal methyd #gigi goode #crygi #fluff #lesbian au #coffee shop au #sweet on my lips #mumu #concrit welcome

[arlingtonpark]

SNK 130 Review

For the first time, thanks to this chapter, SNK is more popular than Domestic Na Kanojo, a manga about a love triangle between a dude and his step-sisters, one of whom is his teacher.

We did it fam. Mission accomplished.

I feel like the scenario where the outside world and Paradis are kept apart with Paradis threatening to rumble the world if there’s any interference is something of an equilibrium point.

They say that nature has a balance to it. A natural rhythm that it follows on its own.

Predators hunt prey, so naturally there are less predators than prey, lest the prey population be wiped out. When predators are too many and prey is too few, the lack of food causes predators to leave the area or die off, which prompts the prey population to rebound.

So there’s a certain point at which things balance out. This is an equilibrium.

Social situations are like that too.  

People have desires and preferences, and in a social situation, a dynamic will form that satisfies as much of those desires as possible.

Because the equilibrium point is the state of affairs at which as many people as possible are satisfied, in the long term any disruption to that equilibrium will be corrected.

Not because of magic or anything, but just because it’s the scenario that most people prefer, so the state of affairs will trend towards it over time.

This is a really long way of saying that I think that some variation on the King Fritz scenario is the best outcome everyone can hope for.

Everyone gets to live and go about their lives.

The downside is that there’ll always be an undercurrent of resentment. And, oh yeah, becoming titans and eating children is necessary to make the wall titans work as a threat. That’s bad, but a natural balance isn’t a utopia.

It’s a testament to how much the SNK world sucks that *this* is the outcome that allows the most people to be happy.

Rape, parents eating children, all of it indefinitely.

That’s one of the most frustrating things about this chapter.

Just…what even is the message of this story anymore?

Attack on Titan is a series about freedom and striving for freedom. Eren has embodied that struggle the whole time.

But now?

Eren is a lunatic who’s about to crush the whole world.

The Cringevengers are fighting for freedom, but not their own. Stopping Eren will only open a pathway for the world to retaliate against Paradis for the failed rumbling. Their mission is one of self-destruction.

That’s noble, but it’s looking more and more like the cringevengers are going to lose. They’re physically and mentally exhausted, and they don’t really have much personal stake in this anymore.

So I guess we’re heading for an ending where Eren destroys the world.

If that’s the case, then…what’s the message?

Is this a tragedy?

Tragedies are about characters failing to rise above their flaws, but they’re also supposed to be constructive.

Tragedies work when they show the audience that a happy ending could have happened but for the character’s flaws.

Romeo and Juliet could have lived if it weren’t for their feuding families, for example. The story ended sadly, but there was a clear path to a happy ending.

What is the path forward in Attack on Titan?

The Marleyans are shit. They’re racist colonialists out to dominate the world. They coral Eldians into camps, use them as weapons, and want to build a global empire. Their long term motivation is to preserve their global dominance.

Eren is a lunatic. ‘Nuff said.

The Cringevengers have the moral high ground, but…if they win, the Eldians still die. So…go Cringevengers?

Who is the hero of this story right now?

Which path is the right one?

What is even the message anymore?

The answer is that there is none.

The situation is clearly designed to make this outcome inevitable.

The world is going down this bad path because almost everyone has the same flaw: they are willing to kill people for the sake of their own prejudices.

If only a couple of characters had that flaw, this would be fine, but making this flaw so widespread makes it seem that humans in general are like this, and that’s wrong.

Most people are not like this.

I think the fact that humanity has not self-immolated yet speaks for itself.

I don’t know what’s going on in Isayama’s mind, but I wonder if maybe he’s a bit paranoid about tensions between Japan, and China, and the Koreas.

The possible social commentary in SNK is always interesting to think about, but I’m just going to skip over that here.

…

Ugh, I guess I have to talk about the pregnancy now.

So first off, my starting point when thinking about the pregnancy is that whatever happened, it didn’t involve rape.

That’s maybe something we shouldn’t assume, but I don’t think Isayama will cross that line. Having Historia go through that trauma for basically no reason is viscerally disgusting and I trust that Isayama knows that.

Attack on Titan is ostensibly about freedom; being forced to carry a child to term is not that.

Clearly.

So I take it as a given that there was no rape.

Once you do that, thinking about the pregnancy becomes much simpler.

There are really only two possible explanations:

1. That Historia fell in love with a man, decided to have a family…and that Isayama is playing up the possibility of rape for shock value.

Or.

2. The pregnancy is somehow fake.

So which is more believable?

Honestly, I lean towards (1), though I’d prefer it be fake.

Before this chapter came out, I never felt it was likely the pregnancy was fake. There was an aura of suspicion around it, but that doesn’t prove much.

We know the pregnancy was inexplicably advantageous to Zeke, and we know that Eren and Historia were up to something right before Eren disappeared.

Isayama is clearly hiding something, but a fake pregnancy specifically?

I see no reason why it would be that and not, say, a secret romance.

That’s what really scares me though.

Most people can explain why callous depictions of rape are bad. The number of people who can explain why callous depictions of queer people are bad is much smaller.

I ship yumikuri. In fact, it’s one of the few pairs I ship.

So call me biased if you want, but the bottom line is that Ymir explicitly loved Historia, and most people would at least say Historia might have reciprocated. I personally would say she definitely did.

Ymir loved Historia.

She loved her enough to reach out to her and try to save her from her own fate.

Enough to jump from the tower and fight off the titans.

Enough to make Bertolt and Reiner turn back to get her.

Ymir did all this because she loved Historia.

But Isayama, it seems, wrote it into his story that Ymir loved Historia just to move the plot forward.

And once Ymir’s purpose as a character was fulfilled, she was removed from the story and killed off screen.

That’s a really shitty thing to do.

Establishing a queer romance just so the characters have motivation to go from Point A to B and nothing more is fucking low.

It’s cheap as hell.

It’s offensive.

But, I have to point out, not as offensive as a rape victim carrying their child to term.

I think that’s important to keep in mind.

People have written about women’s rights for centuries. Those principles are well established, if not always followed.

Gay rights just aren’t.

Most people can tell you why reducing rape to cheap drama is bad; most people cannot tell you why reducing lesbian romance to a plot device is bad.

(The answer is that they both trivialize their subjects, albeit in slightly different ways.)

I bring this up because I think people underestimate the chances that in-universe Historia is pregnant because she wants to be pregnant.

We can infer from what we know that Historia is pregnant because it’s part of a plan to help Zeke or Paradis, but we can also infer that this is not exactly the case.

It’s not directly established that Historia is pregnant because of Paradis’ or Zeke’s machinations. All we know is that these people were plotting to use her to make babies. We haven’t seen the point where she was roped into those schemes.

So I don’t think it can be discounted that Isayama plans to pair Historia up with a guy, most likely either Eren or Farm boy. Unfortunately.

Gay people don’t have many allies in this world. Unfortunately, that means Isayama is likely to *not* be one of those allies.

SNK’s record of depicting gay relationships speaks for itself.

That was all what I thought before this chapter came out.

I still think that.

So.

Now I guess I have to talk about Historia in this chapter now.

So Historia’s scene opens with her having resigned herself to a future of rape and Eren telling her she’s a human being who has rights.

…

……

I almost can’t bring myself to talk about this.

You know, back when Attack on Titan first become popular, it got a lot of praise for how feminist it was.

It was a post-apocalyptic survival horror show, and it really stood out how many prominent women there were.

Hange, Annie, Mikasa, Sasha, Historia, Rico. These people saw real action and had real characters, and a lot of people appreciated that.

Yep.

Good times. Good times.

How did we get here?

What happened?

Historia’s character is all about agency.

She wanted to end her life because she thought she was a burden. In the cavern she was prepared to take on the same burden she’s taking on right now, but she chose to live for herself.

She saved herself from that fate.

She rejected her family’s burden and chose to forge her own path.

Now it’s like that never happened.

She’s back to killing herself for everyone else’s sake, except now she’s also a damsel who needs Eren to save her.

So Eren reveals his plan to her, and she’s totally distraught over it. She tries to reason with him, and Eren just glares at her like she’s Reiner or something.

Finally we get to the most eyebrow raising moment in this exchange: when Historia invokes Ymir to justify opposing Eren.

I think Ymir is supposed to be seen as a tragic figure in Attack on Titan.

She didn’t have to take the fall for those Eldian cultists. They plucked her out of nowhere and randomly decided to worship her. She didn’t ask for any of this trouble.

But regardless, she took the fall for them.

When she got a new lease on life, she chose to live for herself. She’d put herself before everyone else for a change. She’d let no one else’s fate decide her’s.

But it never turned out that way.

I think Ymir’s tragic flaw is that she cares too much for her own good.

She was always going out of her way for others and doing more than she needed to. Helping Connie, helping Historia, helping Reiner and Bertolt.

Her enemies.

Ymir is a good person at heart, and that’s not bad, but according to Attack on Titan’s morality, being “good” to the point of self-sacrifice is bad.

I think one of the morals of Attack on Titan is that if you sacrifice yourself for other people’s sake……you end up sacrificing yourself.

Ymir could have left Reiner and Bertolt to their fates and returned to the walls. She could have lived a happy life with her friends and the girl she loved.

But she didn’t.

She knew that returning to Marley would mean death for her, and guessed what happened?

She did the thing that would likely kill her and she was killed.

Ymir couldn’t help but be a “good girl” and for that she was punished.

Thus endeth the tragedy of Ymir.

Now we come to Historia.

“If I don’t do everything in my power to stop you, I can’t live with my head held high!”

Historia is using Ymir’s words, but she’s actually betraying Ymir right now.

Ymir meant those words in the sense of living for yourself and not others. In the sense of not being self-sacrificial.

As far as Historia is concerned, in her current situation, she only has two options.

Let them rape her for the sake of her people, or let Eren destroy the world.

That’s it.

As far as Historia is concerned, to oppose Eren is to tacitly support the rape option.

So Historia is using Ymir’s words, but really it’s an insult because she’s using them to defend what Ymir would have hated.

Her self-sacrifice.

One thing that’s interesting about Attack on Titan is what it says about standing up for yourself.

In the story, not being self-sacrificial ironically requires you to make sacrifices.

If Ymir had not helped Reiner and Bertolt, they would have been in a lot more trouble with Marley. In a way, if she had not gone with them, she would have been sacrificing them, in the sense that she would have been throwing them under the bus.

When Historia chooses to live for herself in the cavern, she screams about how she’ll happily throw humanity under the bus if it means saving herself.

That’s why she calls herself “the worst girl in history.”

As opposed to Krista, who is a “good girl.”

I think that’s what Isayama is going for here.

Krista is the “good girl” who’ll gladly take a bullet for you.

Historia is the “bad girl” who’ll gladly throw you overboard if it meant she didn’t have to debase herself.

Yeah, Historia later claimed she was in the moment when she said that, but that doesn’t mean much.

When you’re in the heat of the moment, and you’re acting on pure instinct, you’re likelier to reveal parts of yourself you wouldn’t otherwise.

Being in the moment doesn’t mean Historia doesn’t identify with what she said, it means she was speaking her mind with no filter.

In 130, Historia and Eren are superficially at odds with each other, but deep down Historia thinks Eren is right.

She doesn’t want to sacrifice herself, and I’m sure she feels she shouldn’t have to, just on principle.

The only reason she accepts this fate is because she feels she has to.

So when Eren asks Historia to not oppose him, and she refuses, he tells her she has it in her to do it because she’s “the worst girl in history.”

I think Historia is the kind of person who’d throw you under the bus if she knew it’d save what she values most: her friends, yes, but also herself.

But Historia is acting more like Krista, someone who’d throw their life away to save yours.

Eren is saying she needs to start acting like herself again.

He’s trying to remind Historia of who she is and what she used to think was most important to her.

(This scene is *so* misogynistic. I’m going to puke.)

The flashbacks in this chapter were presented as vignettes, so it’s hard to say how Eren’s scene with Historia ended.

One thing that stood out to me though was the clear through line that connected all the various scenes.

The first one is Eren talking to Yelena about Zeke’s plan.

Next scene is Eren and Floch talking about the real plan.

Then it’s Eren and Historia talking about the plan.

Then back to Eren and Floch for Eren’s reveal of what he’s really doing.

Back to Historia as Eren tries to win her over.

Then we cut to Zeke and Eren talking about Mikasa.

Finally, we go back to Historia.

This flow is important because we don’t know much about Eren’s talk with Historia, but I think we can tease out some clues based on what scenes we see when.

Historia is put on the spot. Eren has revealed his plan, and she opposes it. They argue back and forth, and we reach a point where Historia is at a loss for words, and doesn’t seem to know what to do.

Then we inexplicably cut to a conversation between Zeke and Eren.

A conversation about loyalty, affection, and standing by your friends.

The implications for what this hints at are huge.

Eren asks Zeke if Mikasa cares about him so much because of some Ackermann genetics.

Zeke replies there’s no proof of that, and Mikasa probably just loves him.

Finally, Historia speaks, and she asks Eren about getting pregnant.

She doesn’t go to such great lengths for Eren because she’s a slave!

She doesn’t subject herself to this because she’s being coerced!!

It’s because she  L O V E S  him ! ! !

Fuck this! Fuck me! Fuck everything!

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #snk 130 #snk spoilers #snk chapter 130 #eren jeager #Historia Reiss

[slytherinlesbian3]

All of the colors. Knock yourself out

Alright, Anon. I see you. I’ll leave out the ones I’ve already done though <3

red: describe your favorite shirt Blue. Literally just blue. Tight, but not too tight. Makes my biceps and boobs pop so it’s pretty nice.

blue: preferred type of weather? Rain or snow.

purple: a poem you think describes your closest friend Not a poem, but “I’ll be right beside you to the very end.”

turquoise: favorite sea animal? Dolphins.

cyan: are you religious? spiritual? Uh, I believe in more than one god and lean more toward Roman/Norse mythology than religion. I believe in every god, really. But I’m not submitting myself to blind faith for a cult I know nothing about.

violet: are you a part of the lgbt+ community? Lesbian through and through.

aqua: do you thrift? Do I...what? Thrift as in steal or thrift as in buy on sale? Because yes.

black: would you ever try going vegetarian or vegan? No.

coral: an animal you wish hadn't gone extinct Bro...Dodo birds. They were dope.

grey: how many languages do you speak? do you want to learn any more? Technically I only fluently speak English, but when I was younger I only spoke in Italian except to my family sejfnskejnfdjskn. I’m learning Latin right now and I can still speak Italian but not nearly as much. I know bits of French, German, Japanese, and Czech though. Beside Latin, I don’t really wanna learn any others.

maroon: do you care for clothing brands? Adidas and 511. Adidas because I’m a slut for soccer and 511 because their pants are so COMFY BRO. But they’re expensive so I only own a 511 belt </3

rose: favourite scent on a person? Something...floral. Roses or cherry blossom. Coconut is nice too. Vanilla is cliche but you can never go wrong with it.

charcoal: have you ever been camping? No and I do not wish for it ever.

claret: do you play an instrument? do you want to learn to play any? Trumpet and guitar. 6 years, 11 months.

copper: gold or silver jewelry? Neither, but silver probably. Just looks nicer with my skin tone.

cream: any piercings or tattoos? do you want any? None. I don’t even have my ears pierced. However, I do want a snake tattoo on my thigh lmaoo.

salmon: how many pairs of sunglasses do you own? Like 5 but I only wear one because they’re aviators :D

indigo: have you ever lived on a farm? Nope but I have stayed on one for about a month.

lavender: relationship status? Single but I do have a tumblr wife: @maritasdump​

erin: what was/is your best school subject? ENGLISH BECAUSE I CAN WRITE ESSAYS IN LITERALLY 15 MINUTES

fulvous: another name you think would suit you Ew, uh...well, Vi. It’s my nickname since it’s the shortened version of the nickname of my real name, but it fits me better.

coconut: a subject you enjoy learning about Rome and Latin :D

frost: a -core you enjoy A what.

porcelain: an tv show you used to love Powerpuff Girls, Teen Titans (original), eh

fawn: any interesting family stories? Well, one time my brother got a stick stuck in his shin. Kinda funny. Another time my brother broke my leg while on a trampoline Another time my brother almost broke my ankle by daring me to jump off a 20 foot ledge. Another time I made my brother bleed with my nails for taking my skittles. I could go on...it’s just a lot of sibling violence.

gold: do you wear your socks mismatched? I used to but I just wear black socks now. (Except for soccer)

honey: your thoughts on magic- does it exist? Yeah. Just in different forms:)

rust: form of art you enjoy doing? Writing lmao. But I guess just sketching is fun.

mahogany: your sun, moon, and rising signs I have 0 desire to calculate that because I don’t know it off the top of my head but I’m a capricorn and I feel like that’s enough information

blood: twin beds, queen, or king? ...And there was only one bed...

hot pink: did you/do you had/have strong feelings against the color pink? Hot pink is nasty but regular pink is cool asf. My soccer socks for October games are pink and I wear them every practice/game.

plum: a food you've never tried A lot, but I’ve tried a hella ton of European foods. So, uh...I’m not really sure. Something non-American (all Americas), non-EU, and non-Asian, I know that. 

lilac: dogs, cats, or fish? CATS.

amethyst: do you collect anything? Knives.

mulberry: earbuds or headphones? Eh...Depends what I’m doing. Voice chat? Headphones. Music at the bus stop? Earbuds.

azure: jean jackets? My God - on other people? Hot. On me? I’ll stick to leather.

teal: have a job? Not yet.

sapphire: do you think you can sing well? For the most part, yeah. Trying to incorporate my guitar playing with it and it’s going pretty smoothly.

mint: favourite flavour of gum? Juicy Fruit simply because my grandmother got me hooked on it from a really young age. That or plain ol’ wintermint.

pecan: shuffle your playlist, what's the first song that comes up? Follow by Breaking Benjamin

penny: icecream or cake Ew. Sweets are a hit or miss for me, but um? Probably ice cream.

ash: can you do your own makeup? Hell no. I’ve only worn makeup twice and it was applied by someone else.

jade: ever written fanfiction? EKFMNSKENFJKDSN SO MUCH.

grape: how many blogs do you follow? 346!

umber: do you brush your teeth before you eat? No, ew. Why would you do that?

chestnut: type of phone you have iPhone 10 XS. Got it last May...First new phone I’d ever owned. Went from an iPod that could only call, to a phone that could only call, then an iPhone 5 until I was 15. They were all hand-me-downs and I never complained. They worked fine.

prussian blue: what's your first choice at the vending machine Soda, probably. If it’s food, either the chips or the rice krispy <3

aquamarine: beach or pool Pool. I’ve come too close to death at the beach to enjoy it anymore.

brass: least favorite food condiment Mayo/horse radish.

mustard: how much sugar in your tea/coffee? All of it.

silver: ever broken a bone? My entire leg and foot <3

rose quartz: rings or necklaces Necklaces with rings. I’m serious. But if I had to choose, rings. It’s the gay in me.

onyx: do you still play Minecraft? Sometimes?

burgundy: ever ridden a motorcycle? NO BUT I WANT ONE MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE FRIGGIN UNIVERSE

apricot: opinion on 3 in 1 body wash/hair wash wait those exist? 

platinum: do you follow politics? Dude I didn’t know Trump was president til this year

magnolia: your Instagram handle? ha, nice try, luzer.

Bro I am LATE to somewhere because of this but I enjoyed it. Thanks again, anon! <3

Color Asks (I am closing this shite because I AM TIRED)

#asks #anon

[inmusicalseveryoneisscreaming]

Newsbians Mermaid AU- Chapter 0

For: @klaineharmony

“Miss Pulitzer!” Hannah swam her way through the castle, her voice hoarse from calling the name of the young princess. “Princess Katherine!” She called again, sighing as she flicked her baby blue tail in irritation. That girl never answered anything anymore, she was far gone. And, Hannah noted, Katherine swam with The Peace Merfolk. Mermen and mermaids who believed in peace and care throughout all five of the Mer Realms. And… Peace for those who loved ones of the same gender. Katherine called them lesbians and gay people, also throwing around terms like trans, pan, demi, and bi around. What scared everyone else is that a lot of merfolk were like that, including The Coral Realm’s princess.

Because, Katherine was attracted to other mermaids.

King Joseph Pulitzer, Kath’s father, ruled The Coral Realm. The largest of the five, and he made sure they only get more and more land from the others. The main victim? The Seashell Realm, ruled by Queen Esther and King Mayer Jacobs. They had three children, two boys and one girl, who all believed in peace and swam with The Seashell Realm’s Peace Merfolk. It was talk all over the Realms. How do children of the rulers of opposing Realms believe in peace?

Her thoughts were cut off when she found Katherine in a lone alcove of the castle, humming to herself as she went over The Coral Realm’s Peace Merfolk’s meeting notes. They'd found Etching Stones, of course. Katherine was a master at writing in those things. “Princess Katherine!” She called again. Katherine jumped, her light pink tail going upwards in surprise. She turned to face Hannah suddenly, uneasily laughing.

“Don't do that, Secretary Hannah! You scared me!” Katherine tried for a smile as she put the stone down by the hundreds of others, floating over to the older mermaid with shoulder length blonde hair. “What do you need me for?”

“Your father would like to talk to you, Katherine. About swimming with The Peace Merfolk.” Hannah informed, glancing at the Etching Stones. “He’s starting to worry when the time comes for you to take over The Coral Realm, you'll only try to make peace with the enemies. And that you'll marry a mermaid.”

“I can marry who I please! That's how it's supposed to be! In fact, I need to be over at The Seashell Realm right around now! Attempt to make peace!” And before Hannah had any time to process what was going on, Katherine had grabbed an Etching Stone and swam out of the castle through one of the windows. ------ Katherine swam, and swam, and swam. More and more and more and more, going deeper into the depths of the wide open blue they called home. The Seashell Realm was easily noticeable once Katherine saw it. A large castle was in the distance, in her gaze, she could tell it was scattered with seashells. She carefully swam across the invisible border, trying to swim farther and then…

“Halt!” A voice called, and suddenly her arm was gripped. She looked up seeing an older man wearing a large, bejeweled crown. His tail was an indigo blue, but it had stripes of gold. King Mayer, of course, his resemblance was noticeable by even a Seaweed. He could probably tell she was a Coral from her tail’s light color. Coral’s had much lighter tails compared to the darkness that were the tails the Seashell’s had. “You're a Coral!” He growled out. “Esther! Take her to the castle! We’ll have Sarah and David help decide what we’re gonna do with King Pulitza’s little spy.” He dragged Katherine to Esther, Queen Esther probably, judging by her tiara and just as dark purple tail, and the older mermaid had an even tighter grip on the young princesses arm as she was dragged to the castle she was just admiring.

She was dragged into a room, where thousands of Seashell Merfolk looked down at her with a glare in their eyes. They'd probably all vote in favor of her death, and that scared her immensely. She couldn't die, not now. Not when she had so much left to change in the world. Esther led her to the middle of the dome like area, chaining Kath’s wrists to the shackles on the ground. She put a more round one around her tail, making sure Katherine was pinned there. Katherine thrashed, the iron shackles hurt badly, but she'd have to deal.

Esther joined her husband quickly at a desk, clearing her throat. “People of The Seashell Realm! King Mayer and myself were on our daily patrol when we found this Coral snooping around on our side of the border! And, inspect her closely now… She has oh, so beautiful, expensive looking jewels, a very light and pink tail…”

“She's the daughter of King Pulitzer!” One voice called, slamming a fist on the small concrete strip in front of them.

“We should kill ‘er! Or hold her for ransom! Or I'll just take ‘er pretty lil’ tail back to my place and-!” Another voice, more young and male, said.

“We should torture her! Lock ‘er in a dungeon, chained up like now, and torture her! Beat her! And we’ll broadcast it all!”

“All very good suggestions, my subjects. But, I think we should let this decision go to a higher power. My eldest daughter, Sarah, has been awaiting her moment to have something to do with Seashell Realm Law. Her decision is what will go. Now, she decides, what do we do with the little doll faced Coral?” Esther retorted finally, grinning wickedly as she called for the ‘Sarah’ of before.

Trumpets blared and voices chanted her name, and out from behind the curtain beside the desk… Came the most beautiful and wonderful looking mermaid Kath had ever seen.

She had long, flowing caramel hair, seen perfectly against the blue tinted background of their world. The crown of her head was adorned with a smaller jeweled tiara, so it was Princess Sarah Jacobs, notorious Peace Merfolk member. Her eyes seemed mysterious, hiding some sort of secret. Her slight smile was even more hypnotizing, especially when framed by light pink lips that the Seashell Merfolk would usually blotch with Lip Marker. Her tail was oddly light for a Seashell Merfolk, resembling her mother’s tail but in more of a light purple, almost… soft like violets.

Katherine caught herself staring at the royal mermaid who contained her fate, her gaze quickly turning to pleading. She'd forced herself to that look instead of peer admiration, hoping it'd strike Sarah somewhere, hopefully her heart. Sarah looked at Kath with intensity though, eyes tracing over her with darkness. Her darkness lifted though, and a smile crossed her face and… Please smile again, Katherine found herself thinking, I'd love to see your smile and dimples again.

“I understand a lot of you most likely… Wish harm on Princess Katherine of The Coral Realm, I do. You want her tied to a stake on Human Land and burned. You want to take her to your homes to beat and torture her with physical pain and other methods.” Esther looked at her daughter with a grin as she talked, obviously proud. But then, she was caught by surprise, because Sarah continued. “But, instead, I'd like to meet with Princess Katherine everyday at Night Hours alone in Heron Hall. That way we could establish peace. Starting tonight, right now.” Katherine felt her cheeks reddening slightly, as Sarah swam down and dealt with the shackles around her wrists. She quickly moved to the one around Kath’s tail, doing that with such care that Katherine couldn't help but watch, entranced.

Sarah smiled at her as Katherine swam up, moving her wrists and tail around a bit as she swam carefully in a circle. “I'm fine!” She grinned, looking over at Sarah, a grin still glued on her features. Sarah smiled, taking her arm gently.

“C’mon,” she spoke with gentleness as she started to drag Katherine, “I'll show you Heron Hall.”

“You heard the princess! They shall have meetings every night along at Heron Hall!” Esther exclaimed, bitterness laced through as she watched her daughter swim off with Katherine. Their meetings were sure to happen.

And indeed they did. Feelings sprouted early on in.

They got together within two months, in secret.

And, now, a year and a half later... Sarah and Katherine find themselves in trouble again. But now... It's because of their love.

#Newsbians #Sarah Jacobs #92sies #Newsies #Katherine Plumber Pulitzer #Mayer Jacobs #Esther Jacobs #Hannah (Newsies) #Joeseph Pulitzer (Newsies) #Mermaid AU!!!

[argotmagazine-blog]

The Art Of Being A Unicorn

“Look, all I’m saying is that I don’t believe for a minute she really wants to fuck women.”

Our first round of drinks arrived five minutes ago and already the conversation is on Candace and her recent induction into the Sapphic Sisterhood. I take a deep gulp of my Riesling. And another. Empty glass in forty-five seconds. Self-preservation in the form of wasted wine.

“It’s just some kind of phase. Maybe she skipped the ‘experimentation’ stage in college and wants a round two. Either way, no way she’s suddenly a dyke.” Kate takes a deep swig from her bottle of Magic Hat, confident she’s made her point. The alcoholic equivalent of dropping the mic.

“It’s just so weird.” Lisa tries to fish the cherry out of her Cosmo with the swizzle stick. She slowly pulls it up the side of the glass, and then loses it, the candy red sphere tumbling back to the little well in the bottom of the martini glass. She purses her lips as she stabs it and then pops it into her mouth. “She’s only dated guys, before. Though, I mean, it’s not like Dana is much of a chick. She’s so...” She trails off, twirling her hand in the air in front of her as she tries to find the word.

“She’s ‘so’ what?” I press, knowing the answer, my tone sounding more frustrated than I planned. The others at the table don’t seem to notice, but out of the corner of my eye I can see Kevin lean his head on his hand, so his face is ‘casually’ pointed my direction.  He raises his eyebrows, his eyes reminding me of my promise to be nice to his friends. I give him my best ‘I know, honey, but I kind of want to stab them in the face right now’ smile in response, my lips almost painfully pressed into a thin, curved line, my eyebrows raised to mock his.

“Oh! Butch! That’s the word I was looking for!” Lisa looks satisfied. She turns toward her husband. “Right?”

Mark shrugs, dipping the complimentary pumpernickel directly into the included ramekin of butter. He scoops the off-white cream onto a corner of the bread, takes a bite, and double dips.

“Maybe she’s bi? Or pan?” I bring out the smile I usually reserve for annoying customers, hoping it will keep my voice even and friendly.

Kate scoffs. “People only say that as an excuse to be sluts.”

“I dunno, Kate. She was cheating on David with Dana before they broke up.” Mark points at Kate with his second piece of bread, his mouth full.

“Bisexual doesn’t mean slutty. And even if it did--“ My voice comes out an octave higher than I’d have liked. The customer service smile is not so much put back in its neat little compartment in my mind, as violently ripped away. Kevin takes in a sharp breath which evolves into a heavy sigh as he leans back in his seat, finding something interesting about the ceiling.

Kate speaks over me. “Yeah but David hadn’t had sex with her in, like, a year. So, that’s kind of his own fault.”

Mark helps himself to another scoop of butter. “You think Dana tricked her, somehow? I mean, like, Candace is lonely, vulnerable, and then this person swoops in and makes her feel desired. Yeah, the parts are different but if you close your eyes, it all feels the same.” He looks up at the rest of us, noticing the sudden silence. “What? It’s only gay if you give.” He pops the last bit of bread into his mouth. “Well, I guess except for butt stuff.”

I eye Kevin’s Captain and ginger ale. The server could come back any time, now. I really should have ordered something stronger than wine.

“Lesbians don’t do ‘butt stuff’, Mark.” Lisa rolls her eyes at her husband. “They use, I dunno, dildos and shit.”

“Cos all ladies really want the D.” Mark’s voice is smooth as he purses his lips in a cocky mockery of seduction, motioning with both hands to his crotch in the universal, ‘suck it’ sign. “Right, Kev?”

Kevin looks away from the lights on the ceiling. “Hmm? I, uh--“

“Oh yeah,” Mark interrupts, giving a slow, knowing nod, “Kevin knows.”

“Look, why--“ I clear my throat and lower my voice as Kevin gives me a light kick under the table. “Why do you care so much about Amanda’s love life? She’s dating a woman, now. So what? I mean I’m--“

“Wow, the salmon looks awesome!” Kevin interjects. He points at an expertly crafted photo of perfectly air brushed pink fish in the menu.

“Dude, you can’t order fish at Outback, that’s just weird.”

“I’m having the chicken.”

“Oh come on, why would you go to a steak place and not get steak?”

“I like chicken.”

“Blasphemers, all of you.”

I leave them to their bickering, reaching across Kevin to snag his drink. I stare at the side of his face as I down it in two chugs. Fuck it.

Later, walking to the car after goodbyes and promising to get together again soons are exchanged, I let out the hot, writhing put of snakes that have been in my stomach most of the evening.

“Dude, what the fuck was that?”

Kevin doesn’t even look at me as he pulls out his keys, pressing the button to unlock the car. His green Camry beeps, the interior lights automatically illuminating the cabin. “What the fuck was what?”

“Cutting me off like that when they were talking about Candace! I know they’re your friends, but they were being fucking assholes.”

He opens the passenger side door, stepping back and waiting patiently for me to sit down and reach for my seatbelt. “Because I knew you were going to play the bi card.”  He pushes my door closed and walks to the driver’s side. His door dings when it opened.

“Excuse me? ‘Bi card’? Are you actually serous right now.”

The overhead light dims into darkness. He shrugs, inserting his key into the ignition. “I just don’t see why my friends need to know that about you.” He turns the key, reaching for the radio volume knob as the CD player come to life. Death Cab for Cutie pours from the speakers. “It’s not like it even counts, right now. You’re with me.” He turns up the volume and puts the car into reverse.

#

“Care to explain this?” Meredith throws the pink and blue notebook onto the black marble coffee table. It slides across the smooth, polished surface, before coming to rest in front of me. Half of it hangs into void between the table and the couch. The 3D yellow flower on the front bounces slightly on its small spring. Meredith glares down at me, the angry lines around her mouth betraying the age her perfect make up tries to hide.

“My journal? You bought it for me for Xmas.”

“Don’t be a smartass.” My dad’s voice holds barely controlled anger. I know that he will end up yelling by the end of this confrontation--he always does. And I will end up matching his volume as my words devolve into rage filled sobs. It’s a very specific script. But for now, he’s holding onto at least a shred of civility.

“I really don’t understand what’s going on right now.”

“What’s going on,” Meredith’s voice drips with patronizing contempt, “Is that you got ‘hot and heavy’ with Hope. What are you, some kind of dyke now?”

Pressure starts to rise in my sinuses. “You read my journal? What right do you have--“

“What right does she have?!” Dad jerks forward in his chair, his face red. “What right do you have?! You don’t own that journal, little girl. It’s under our roof, it is our property.”

“Why is this such a big deal to you?” My throat is tight and my words come out in a strange croak. I am determined not to cry this time. I won’t give her the satisfaction. 

“The big deal,” Meredith’s lips purse in disgust, her coral lipstick fluorescent against her overly tanned skin, “is that it is wrong. And we will not have it under this roof.”

“Technically, I wasn’t under this roof. We were in Derek’s car.” I want to delete the words from existence as soon as they’re out of their mouth.

My dad sighs. I’m impressed with his composure thus far. I expected my inability to keep my mouth under control to spark the shouting portion of tonight’s entertainment.  “You’re not even old enough to have sex with men, how could you possibly know if you want to have sex with women?” It’s the same line he’s given any time I mention my various gay friends.

“I’m sixteen.”

“Exactly.”

“The fact I exist proves that teenagers have sex, Dad.”

“I called her mother.” Meredith interrupts the debate on teenage sexuality to bring us this important breaking news. She crosses her arms over her off-white sweater, smirking.

Panic rises in my throat, followed by the acidic taste of bile. This panic is not for myself. “Are you serious? How could you do that?! Her parents held a freaking laying on of hands at her birthday party! They wouldn’t allow her to attend sex ed! What do you think they’re going to do with her when they find out she likes girls?”

“That is not my problem, but she assured me that this will never be an issue again. And you two are forbidden to see each other.”

There is a low buzzing in my head as my mind fills with a white, blank space. I don’t realize I’ve left the couch until I find myself sitting at my desk in my room. I’m surprised they let me leave without further judgment. I don’t even know if I’m grounded.

 Later that night, long after my dad and stepmom go to bed, I sneak the cordless phone out of the living room, and dial Hope’s cell. It goes directly to voicemail.

The next day an overly polite computer voice informs me that the number has been disconnected.

Hope isn’t in school that Monday. Or Tuesday. Or Wednesday. Then, through the Humphrey High rumor mill, I hear the news.

 “Her parents Baker Acted her!” I shout as I walk through the door leading into the kitchen from the garage. Meredith is at the island putting the finishing touches on a sandwich. She doesn’t bother to look up.

“Who are you talking about?”

“Hope! They lied and said that she’s a danger to herself! She’s in an institution because you told her mother about us! This is your fault!”

Her eyes meet mine, steel wrapped in brown silk. “I will not be spoken to that way by a dyke.”  She takes a bite of her sandwich and places it onto a dark green plate. She carries it out of the kitchen, through the living room, out the sliding glass door, and onto the patio. She sits on the painted white concrete and dips her legs into the clear water of our pool.

#

“So you’re a lesbian?” My mother’s voice is calm and conversational.  I hear her typing through the other end of the phone, multi -tasking between talking to me and participating in an ‘alternate-lifestyle’ chat room. She recently acquired a computer, launching herself into the late 20th century a year past Y2K. Her internet provider is AOL.

“No, mom, I still like guys, too. I guess I’m bi. I actually kind of like this dude in my Chemistry class. He looks like Ethan Embry.”

“I have no idea who that is.”

I sigh, exasperated in that way only teenagers feel when confronted by their parents’ ignorance of the really important things in life. “He’s an actor, mom. He was in Empire Records? Can’t Hardly Wait?”

“You know I’ve never seen these movies.”

“That Thing You Do?”

“Oh! I liked that one! Who was he?”

“The bass player.”

“Oh, okay. Yeah, he’s cute.” She pauses. “But you like girls, though.” Back on topic.

I slouch further into the fuzzy blue overstuffed chair in the corner of the den. It’s the ugliest chair that ever uglied but I love every comfy inch of it. It was the only piece of furniture left over from when my parents were married. I have no idea why my dad lugged around for over a decade. I am equally confused as to why Meredith allowed it in the house, as it clashes with everything, even if it is banished to the den, the room company is least likely to see. All I know is that I call dibs when I move out after graduation in a few months. 

“How did your dad and Meredith take it?”

I sigh, my breath causing static into the phone. “Not good.”

“Hmm.” She makes a noncommittal noise and I can tell she is trying to decide to play nice or let me know for the eight thousandth time how she feels about my father and his bride. “You know, I’ve experimented with women.”

My mouth could catch flies. “Wha--really?”

“Mmmhmm.” The keyboard continues to clack in the background. “That one convention I went to, I played with a couple female subs. It was okay. Boobs I could play with all day but anything below that, eh. Not really into vaginas. Dicks are much more fun. Oh, and Allen and I did have a threesome with that Mille girl who used to live next door to us. Remember her? She used to keep an eye on you when you were in middle school?”

I shut my eyes tightly, a sharp pain in my temple. My brain tries to process this outflow of information. The play dates with ladysubs weren’t really a big deal--I’d known about my mom’s kinky lifestyle for a while--but Millie? Beautifully damaged, dramatic, soft haired Millie?

“Y-You had sex with Millie?” I stammer when my mouth decides it can once again form words.

“Yeah. Kind of. Allen was there, too--“

“I had a crush on Millie, mom.” Actually, crush was a loose term. I was infatuated my Millie. I dreamed of Millie. She was the first real life girl I was ever interested in. My confused desires previously focused on beautiful actresses like Lucy Liu and Portia De Rossi, what with Ally McBeal being my queer gateway drug.   

But Millie. There was something special about her. Something wild in the way her life was full of emotional turmoil and passion. She was a walking soap opera and it fascinated me.  She was also the first person I ever smoked weed with, so there was something to be said about my mother’s choice of baby sitters.

My mother laughs. The typing sounds stop. “Really? You liked Millie?” Another laugh cuts off whatever I wasn’t going to say. “Looks like we have the same taste in women.”

“Oh god.”

The typing begins anew.

#

“I’ve seen her play five times.” The woman in front of me has dark hair and is beautiful. The dim lighting of the bar shadows her skin a darker brown and she wears her hair naturally, kinky curls springing from her head in every direction.

“And I thought I was bad!” I give a little self-deprecating snort. “I’ve seen her three times, I think? I try to make sure to get tickets whenever she’s in town. She really must love this venue.”

Arms reach around and above me as women crowd the bar to grab a drink before the end of intermission. Melissa Ferrick is already back on stage on the other side of the club, tuning her guitar and laughing at something her drummer said. The stage lights make her short brown hair look blue.

The woman takes a sip of her martini, her maroon lipstick staining the glass. I didn’t know anyone actually drank martinis. Everyone I know makes due with the cheapest beer they can dig up, and wine either in a magnum or a box. One day my friends will realize that being twenty-one means we are allowed to be choosy. I’m tired of pretending I like the taste of PBR.

“What are you thinking about?” Her lips are a smirk. I didn’t even realize I zoned out, staring at the dark green olive at the bottom of her glass.

“I want to eat your olive.” My answer is honest, but I wish I could take back the words. She raises her eyebrows for a silent second before bursting into laughter. It comes from deep inside of her.

“Is that what you kids are calling it nowadays?”

I’m glad for the bar’s terrible lighting as I feel my face get hot. I take a long swig of my Newcastle.  Oh god, new subject. “I saw Doria Roberts open for her a few years ago. She was just fucking amazing. I just oh man so good.”

She gives me that smirk again and my insides feel squiggly. “I was at that show. Too bad I didn’t see you there, we could have met sooner.”

I can no longer meet her eyes. It’s just too much. “I was with my ex then, anyhow. He was reviewing the show for UCF’s newspaper. Trying to get a music column up and running. “

When I look back up, her eyebrows are furrowed. She pulls her head slightly away from me, looking at me out of almost the corner of her eye. “He?”

I shrug, not sure why she’s asking. “Yeah. Didn’t work out. Still friends, though.”

She shakes her head, sighing as she stands. “Sorry, chica, I learned a loooong time ago not to get involved with straight girls. To0 much drama.”

I spin fully towards her on my bar stool. “But I’m not—dude, I’m bi.”

She scans the crowd closer to the stage, making eye contact with someone and raising her hand in the ‘one minute’ sign. “Oh honey,” she says as she picks up her drink. She continues smiling at the woman in the crowd, not bothering to look back at me. “If you’re still calling yourself bi at your age, you’re straight. Sorry to let you know.”

She walks away, weaving through the crowd of bodies towards the front of the stage. Melissa Ferrick readjusts her mic, her black guitar reflecting the shadows of her fans. There’s a squeal of feedback. Everyone laughs.

#

“I’ve liked you since high school, I just needed to see what it was like.” Jane’s fair cheeks are red as she confesses, looking from me, to her hands, to the TV showing the DVD menu for Moulin Rouge. My lips are still tingling from the kiss she surprised me with a few seconds before.

“I--“ Ugh, I’ve never had to do this, before. “Look, Jane, I’m flattered and you know I love you, but not really like that. I just don’t—“

“It’s ‘cause you’re still in love with Ray, isn’t it?” She rolls her eyes, flinging herself against the back cushions of the couch with more force than I thought her tiny frame could muster. She blows an errant lock of blond hair out of her eyes.

“No, that’s not—“

“I liked you better when you were a lesbian.” She reaches for the remote.

#

“What is with you, today?” Kevin hurries to catch up with me as I hurry to keep myself a few steps ahead of him. I should have known better than to come to Pride. This was a stupid idea.

“What are you talking about? I’m fine.” I maneuver around a pretty girl with a pink crew-cut. Her t-shirt informs me that linguists do it with tongues.

I feel a tug on my arm and stop as Kevin uses it to hold me in place while he closes the last few feet between us. “No. I know what okay looks like and this is not okay. This is acting weird. What is going on?”

I gently pull my arm from his grasp and run my hand through my pixie cut. “I just--“ I pause to find the words. “I feel weird. Here.” I look down at the sidewalk. A fried and shriveled earth worm is stuck to the concrete.  “With you.”

“What?” He sounds more hurt than angry. Damn it.

“It’s not really about you, I just feel like--” I shrug, looking up to scan the tops of the surrounding buildings.  I never noticed that there was molding up there. Lion heads. Clichéd.  “I feel like I’m an imposter. That I don’t belong here because I’m with a guy. Okay?”

He scrunches his nose and scoffs. “That’s stupid.”

“What?”

“No one cares that you’re here with a guy. No one is judging you for not being gay enough, okay? Everyone’s been enjoying the parade and the free candy. No one has even noticed. You’re being paranoid.”

I take a deep breath to keep myself from screaming. He doesn’t understand. He didn’t see the raised eyebrow the dreadlocked woman next to us gave when he caught one of the handfuls of condoms that were thrown into the crowd by muscled men in silver shorts. When he gave me a nudge with his elbow, saying “This’ll come in handy tonight!” with a wink. He didn’t see the man in front of us turn to look, pursing his purple stained lips, as Kevin stated with surprise that he didn’t realize the Polar Bear Club supported gay rights. The man rolled his eyes as I explained in a hurried whisper what the term ‘Bear’ referred to, and no, it didn’t mean they liked to jump into freezing cold rivers. He stood out in his black t-shirt amid the sea of rainbows. And it made me stand out beside him.

I slowly let out the breath I’ve been holding and take his hand. There’s no use in arguing. “You may be right. I’m just being insecure.”

We walk a few blocks, taking in the colorful crowd that surrounds us.

“Kev?” A voice from across the street stops our stroll. Candace waves, making her way through the crowd, Dana holding onto her hand protectively.

Kevin waves back and we meet in the middle of the sea of people. Hugs and "oh man how’s it been, haven’t seen you in forever"'s are exchanged.

“Wow, you’re the last people I thought I’d run into here.” Candace states, laughing.

Kevin returns the laughter, surprised. “What do you mean?”

“You don’t usually see a lot of straight couples at Pride.”

Jenna Swisher's work has appeared in Chatham University's literary magazine, Minor Bird, as well as Daikaijuzine, The Battered Suitcase, and Beyond Imagination. She lives in Pittsburgh with her boyfriend and their five cats.

#bisexuality #biphobia #relationships #emotional labor #pride #lgbtq #culture

[romaniassexdungeon]

OzEst fluff

Trying to ease myself back into writing. It’s been a busy few months, not gonna lie, and I’m out of practice. This doesn’t really have a proper title, or plot. It’s just dorks being happy.

Logan - Australia

Lachlan - Gay and Lesbian Kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands

Warnings: none

Sure, he could’ve worn his own dressing gown after his bath, but Logan’s was right there: bigger, fluffier and perfect for snuggling in. It slipped over his shoulders like a regal robe of some description, but he wrapped it up tight, stuffing his feet into slippers as water dripped from the tips of his hair.

Bathrooms weren’t his friend, but a bath was infinitely better than a shower, and he could almost relax in Logan’s bath, buried in bubbles and occasionally scribbling down an equation with Lachlan’s bath crayons.

He was still damp as he made his way across the hall of the caravan, into Logan’s tiny room. There was just enough space for a bed and a dresser, and what little floor was left was covered in dirty clothes, clean clothes, and the occasional bottle.

Logan was curled up under the duvet, the duvet that now had a cover thanks to Ed. Pillow cases and a sheet too! It wasn’t often Ed got to look at someone and wonder just what the fuck they were doing in life.

But then again, he mostly looked at Logan and wondered how he got to be so lucky. Logan told him he felt the exact same way.

He was watching a video on the laptop Ed had built for him, polar bear cubs following their mother about, and looked like he was on the verge of tears. When he saw Eduard enter, he put the laptop away and pulled him into a hug.

“Did you run out of my shirts to steal?” he joked as he wrapped Ed up in the duvet, then wrapped him up in his big, strong arms and kissed his temple. Eduard had never felt cosier, which wasn’t saying much. He’d been practically isolated his whole life, though Logan and his warmth was slowly making up for it. He hugged Ed more times in a week than Ed’s own parents had… ever. Then again, Ed’s parents had never hugged him.

“You know your shirts are too disgusting to steal,” he said, like stealing Logan’s shirt wasn’t a thing regardless of what was written on them. He decided to let Logan keep ‘orgasm donor’ though, simply because he’d disintegrate if he wore that outside.

Eduard could almost fall asleep right away, he was so snug. Even through the duvet, Logan’s warmth enveloped him, hair tickling at each other’s faces and Logan’s breath on his nose.

Logan just chuckled and kissed his cheek. “Good bath?”

He snuggled closer. “Great bath.”

Eduard couldn’t remember being this… content. Maybe he was just too tired to worry, or worry about what he should be worrying about at the lack of obvious things to worry about, but Eduard was happy to just exist in his little pocket of warmth. His wet hair was splayed across the pillow, and the ache in his legs began to seep out at the heat. Logan’s hand moved down to massage his thigh, and he snuggled closer.

“I love you,” Logan sighed. Ed nodded awkwardly before replying.

“I love you too.”

It was getting easier to say. He meant it! Oh God he meant it from the very core of his soul, certain he had never, and could never, love someone this much, but he was also awkward as shit and the words came out about as well as a fat berg squeezed through a capillary. He wanted to say more than just ‘I love you too’ but didn’t quite know how to phrase the unphraseable. Not without stuttering and swearing and scrabbling for words in his third language. And anyway, there were no words to describe just what Logan meant to him, what he’d done for him. If he was given a million years to write, he would still never be able to put into words just how much more than love he loved Logan.

Not to mention, the guy’s ego really didn’t need feeding. Often.

“Hey, babe?” Logan breath tickled at his lips, “can I ask you something?”

Stuff like that tended to make him more curious than nervous now – that was progress, right? “Yeah, go ahead.”

“How mad would you be if I gave you a Dutch oven?”

“You always have to spoil the mood, don’t you?”

#ozest #aph australia #APH Estonia #Hetalia Fanfiction #aph rarepair

[superemeralds]

my sonic characters: a masterpost

I’ll add more whenever i get new info on characters and so on sakjsak

I used to have more but i gave some of them away so i dont feel like i should mention them here (even if those designs are not in use anymore)

[edit 4/20/2019 (haha) added nexus and links to character tags]

1) Saph the hedgehog

This is Saph. He’s a 18/19 year old disaster gay trans boy.

I change his shoe design literally every single time i draw him. :)

I’ll go in depth about his past later.

Saph is pretty much all over the place and forgets to be considerate of other peoples feelings sometimes. He might come off as very egoistic of self centered, but he does actually care in his own kind of way (even when its. kinda bad bc he gives off wrong signals sometimes and ends up hurting people hes close to)

He’s looked up to Sonic ever since he was small and he collects all of the Sonic comics and video games. His dream is to meet Sonic and win against him in a fight.

Shadow is his big idol in many things so he tries to be edgy sometimes or act tough but he fails miserably most of the time and makes a fool of himself; which he doesn’t really mind because he can take a lot of things with humour (sometimes too much). He also uses white eye liner to imitate shadows marks, and he dyes some parts of his fur white to make the marks he already has extend to look more like shadows.

Shadow was the person that taught him how to control his chaos powers, because he’d always just weakened himself in the past, because he is super unstable. (If it wasnt for Shadow he probably would have died by now.) Shadow also was the one that told Saph to go to Tails for help with the buckles on his wrists and the rings on his ankles. They are made of a material similar to shadows rings (tails tried his best to replicate them) so they would help keep the energy in Saph balanced. Due to his strong affiliation to Chaos Energy, he could technically even turn super; but his body would be unable to hold the immense amount of energy and begin to literally burn down to ash within a few minutes.

He is very gay and in a relationship with Ezra.

He’s on T and has not yet had top op. (his bobbies smol its all muscle >:3€ )

Old pic of him and his bf as humans uwu

2) Red the hedgehog

Red is 25/26 years old and works at GUN as special agent. Sometimes he and Rouge get drunk in her club at night and joke about tearing that organization down (or maybe they are not joking)

he’s pansexual and horny 24/7. He has a girlfriend and is in an open relationship. hes polyam if you didnt guess it askdsajh

he’s blind in the right eye and has a tattoo of a star on his chest

(here’s his gijinka because i just. hes hot. he used to be the one character that had like 30 fangirls on deviantart and each of them would comment “nosebleed” every time i uploaded)

ANYWAYS

Saph and Red. They are brothers.

*WARNING: abusive parents, transphobia, homophobia, violence

When red was a young lad and Saph was still a baby their father snapped and beat Red up with an iron bar, making him blind on his right eye. Red took Saph and ran away from home.(Their mother died at saphs birth)

They lived and still live in a city a litte farther off Empire City.

Red decided to go to an orphanage because he could not possibly take care of an infant. (granted his dad couldnt either but it seemed the best possible solution)

They lived in the orphanage for a few years, but saph very soon showed sighns of being trans and got bullied by the other kids. they would call him gay and tr*nny and kick him until he fell silent to endure his “punishment”.

Red couldn’t take it and decided to run away with Saph again. They lived on the street for a while, but Red was caught by GUN for stealing. Once they found out he had a form of chaos powers (even if weak) they decided to let him slide and hire him as Special Agent.

Red accepted this and uses the money he ears to make sure Saph has a good life. This kinda spoiled Saph a little, but he also deserved it lets be real here.

Red made sure to enable saph to get education (which he totally refuses to acknowledge and take seriously) and physical transition.

*WARNING END*

3) Ellectra “Ellie” the tenrec

[ pardon me being inconsequent with the design omg ]

Ellie is a 20 year old functional asexual demiromantic lesbian who is not interested in dumb boys and would rather talk about science with a pretty girl.

She can manipulate electricity and is called “Daughter of Zeus” by the townsfolk in her home island called Coral Island, which is located near the windsmil isles in Apotos.

She studies archeology and gaia mythology/ancient history, which makes it very convenient that she lives nearby an actual gaia temple. (She wants to be like lara croft one day)

At the 2005 black arms invasion her mother got heavily wounded when she tried to protect the town from the aliens and died from the aftermath.

Ever since then Ellie hates Shadow with a burning passion and holds him responsible, because she believed the government propaganda (provided by GUN ofc) that Shadow is One Of The Aliens. If she was ever to meet him she would be FURIOUS and ready to murder (she knows he cant die though).

She tried not to focus too much on that and just. do her cool ancient stuff.

Here are her parents Chion and... the mother i had still not found a good name for.

5) Chion the tenrec

This gentleman is 40+ years old and proud father of Ellie.

Hes also a het ace.

Chion is greek for snow (as far as google translate goes) and he was named that bc of his white nose lmao. its like a snowflake on his black body.

He doesn’t have any elemental powers, but he is naturally very strong and will punch anyone who comes close to his family. He can also use swords and is a skilled swordsman.

He inherited an olive farm from his family and he does keep it going. He makes his money selling olive products he does make himself.

6) Athena the hedgehog

Athena was the daughter of the “major” of the island that the family lived on (coral island), so she was expected to become the new major once he had to retire.

Due to the location of the island and the geographical landmarks on it, many raiders (and also eggman) have great interest in the ruins and mythological places. Athena is not one to give in easily and defended her people and the island from many intruders.

She possessed a less particular (than Ellie), but still fierce power of lightning manipulation. Having used her powers excessively, she sustained severe damage to her arms which showed as lighting shaped scars. She showed them with pride, because they meant she had fought hard to get where she was now.

She was bisexual and married to a tenrec called Chion. She was a year older than him.

The rings Ellie wears on her wrists were her mom’s.

7) Frost the snow leopard

Frost is a 15 year old demiboy who really just wants to have a good time. He hasnt really given his sexuality much thought.

He lives in a small village in Holoska; hes actually even met the werehog. Well he saw him. but he was too afraid to talk to him because holy shit its Sonic The Hedgehog!!!!!!!

He has ice powers!!!!

His insides are like -18°C and he cant eat anything that is hot. He has to eat cooked meals when they are room temperature, or even cooled down to fridge temperatures ( about 6°C).

He basically lives off ice cream and dry meat (if they get fancy food from the city he gets frozen pizza) He thinks of going to the UF for college, but he doesnt really know what he wants to do with his life yet so hes just having fun snowboarding.

8) Mitzu the Cheetah

Mitzu is 22 years old and owns a flower shop/chao garden combo where she takes care of chao, while taking care of flowers and breeding them. Her hydrokinesis powers are very helpful in that!

She loves nature and the outdoors and feeling the grass under her feet, so she doesn’t wear shoes/socks. Ever.

She generally is very free spirited and optimistic!

Shes a big sapphic but shes also okay w being single atm.

Her chao are like children to her and she loves the chao that get left in the garden as much as her own. (ppl leave their chao there when they cant watch over them anymore or if they go for a vacation and cant take them with them or smth)

9) Dan the red panda*

Dan is 17 years old and a big homo.

He has no special powers, except being able to eat and sleep more than the average person.

He’s from a very rich family, but his parents insisted in him finding a wife to like. pass down the heritage but he aint having none of that so his punk ass ran away from home to be his gay self and study art. 

He lives in a tree house a little off a small village in a more rural area in east UF, near station square. let the depression boy be happy...

10) Yoshi the siamese cat

Yoshi is a 20 year old enby kitty who wants to make the world a gayer place!

They are studying fashion design in hope to one day open their own fashion store for queer people! The clothes are made with body differences in mind and they also want to offer a free customization service to fit clothes to every single body type.

They don’t have any special powers as of now but i kinda want to give them a power that could be helpful with their goal Im still thinking about it ...

11) Joel “Spirit” the Husky

Spirit is fresh ripe 14 years old and Sonic the hedgehog is his big big idol. He wants to be JUST like him when he grows up.

It has come to my attention that he is basically the sonic universe Deku and I may or may not be planning to write a fanfiction for that...........

He doesn’t have any special offensive powers, but he has orange blood and he has the ability to read the Chaos Signature of anything he encounters. (called: Chaos Vision)

This means he will immediately know if a person he meets has super powers and he will also know what that power is. He can also guess the emotions of people because they are tied to the kind of chaos energy that surrounds a person.

12) Aurora the Husky

Spirit’s Sister!

Her name is Aurora and she also has Chaos Vision!

She was born blind, but she’s been able to see with her power, so that’s just what the world looks like to her: Darkness with many many colorful lights.

Over time through hard training she was able to perfect her vision and be able to distinguish between a lot of things and even see things that only have very little chaos energy in them!

13) Axel the Axolotl*

I don’t really have much info on them I made them pretty random one day bc i thought. hey. .... what if... axolotl sonic character.

14) Azul the cat

Azul is my sonicsona kinda. He was pmuch my persona b4 i was kin w shadow. 

He’s an edgelord and i guess he’s still technically me; or rather what i want to be. 

He’s already on T and has has top op and he does not crumble away under social anxiety like i do askjdsakjd.

15) ( UNKNWOWN) the Pangolin*

Similar to Axel I didn’t think much about him yet......  

he’s aroace and kinda goofy but he cares for his friends. He can roll up and do spin dashes and homing attacks like sonic, but he obviously doesnt have his super sonic speed.

16) Coal the hedgehog

Coal is one of the newest of my characters; but he’s also one of my oldest. 

You see, Coal is a revamp of a very old crappy fanchild i had back in like 2012.

for reference thats him

New Coal is 27 years old and a gay mess. He can turn into a cloud of smoke and control it at will. He is completely immune to physical attacks. try to stab/shoot him and u ded. hes coming for u.

he steals, but only from rich ppl. hes chaotic neutral tho bc he keeps that shit for himself safhsaljfha he generally just wants to chill and have his peace. 

he loves being an edge lord though he just wants that image for himself, even though he is kinda a softie... hes good at keeping up an act in dangerous situations though and that sometimes scares attackers off (also his powers)

Some gijinka doodles that make his age more justice than sonic style aksjfhaskj

17, 18, 19) The Crew On ARK

old bad art but i never really drew them, i did write about them in my fic about shadows past! (im excluding the black guy from the list because i didnt write him yet and i guess hes not really established yet since i got literally nothing on him)

from left to right

Nia, (that dude), Hikari, (gerald), Theodor

Nia is the daughter of a shamaran professor and a woman who owns a boulongerie in spagonia. She joined the ARK program in hope to make the world a more accepting place.

Hikari is is from an island near chun-nan (japan) and she also joined the program in hope to be able to help make a change for the better. she also enjoys biology and genetics a lot.

Theodor joined purely because of his joy in working on genetics and robotics that immitate life. He’s innitially from the GUN team but was assigned to work with Gerald.

20) Commander Jonathan Williams

old art again sorry sakjfhsakj. He is the father of the current GUN commander! He’s 52 and a total douchebag. He’s kinda mad with power and genuinely believes that putting shadow under pressure to become the ultimate and strongest weapon (stronger than an atomic bomb) was necessary to end the war that was going on at that time.

I cannot spoil too much on what happened to each of these people as it’s spoilers for my fanfic. 

If you want to know more, read here -> http://archiveofourown.org/works/10992156/chapters/24482199

21) Sidus “Nova” the black panther (and 22 Badass the Chao)

You see. The thing with nova is that i recycled him as human/demon character for a story sjkhfkafhsakj but he has shadow powers where he can use all shadows as portals into a shadow dimension that is entirely his own. he can travel through that but it makes him very tired. he likes to store capri suns in there and just take em out whenever he wants. He has a Chao called Badass (pictured below)

his new human/demon design is below

23) Blossom the horned Frog

She is new and I don’t have much info other than that she’s from a jungle area; perhaps in adabat.

She secrets a poisonous slime from her body; yet her spit has healing accelerating properties.

A gene defect lets her never lose her tail.

24) Nexus the demonic sheep hound

nexus is a demonic sheep hound mix?? idk i just didnt want to draw hooves aksfsakhfa

they can manipulate metal and bend it in any shape they want

however they cant make it float n shit like youd think of metal powers like magneto jsfhsakjf they can literally just. shape it like play-doh but with their mind

they wear those gold rings so when theyre in a pinch they can just make a bunch of cool knifes of a sword n be like SURPRISE BITCH IM NOT JUST PRETTY. IM PRETTY DEADLY!

#my characters #shadows logbook

[yuri-cocaine]

If you’re not comfortable doing this then dw. Copy and paste, and be sure to add in your own answers and tag some friends!)

general info:

♡ preferred name: yun

♡ age: 21

♡ pronouns: she/her

♡ sexuality: bi 

♡ height: 5′3

♡ hair colour: black

♡ relationship status: i married lon’qu

favourite things:

♡ favourite colour: blue!

♡ favourite song: oh this one is hard ummmmm i guess if i had to choose it’d be how big how blue how beautiful by florence + the machine

♡ favourite band / artist: florence and the machine, cecile corbel, lisa hannigan

♡ favourite youtubers: right now i really like watching kyle mccarley (voice of 9S) do his playthrough of nier automata with kira buckland (voice of 2B). also good mythical morning

♡ favourite food: xiaolongbao, burritos from chipotle but they have to put in extra pico de gallo bits

♡ favourite family member: my brother

♡ favourite bird: OH NO HOW CAN I CHOOSE uhhh im love house finches, zebra finches, black phoebes, stellar’s jays, barn swallows, snowy plovers, arctic terns

♡ favourite animal: sea bunnies, cats, cuttlefish

♡ favourite celebrity: i have a huge crush on janelle monae

♡ favourite time of day? dawn (if i could get up to appreciate it)

♡ favourite holiday(s): halloween 🎃

♡ favourite season: summer!

♡ favourite fruit: mango

♡ favourite flower: poppies!

♡ favourite emoji(s): 🐟

♡ favourite app: neko atsume

♡ favourite hobby: playing ffxiv and dissociating in ex roulette

♡ favourite country: The Gay and Lesbian Kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands

♡ favourite weather: bright sunny days!

♡ favourite element: water

♡ favourite language: uhhhhh idk cantonese??? that’s the language i speak at home but i also like emi evans’ chaos language 

name of:

♡ name of your crush: yugiri and hien

♡ name of your pet(s): mimi the cat

♡ name(s) of your best friend(s): you guys know who you are 💖

this or that?

♡ introvert or extrovert: introvert

♡ nerdy or sassy: nerdy (sassy depends on the weather and mood)

♡ tall or short: short 

♡ looks or personality: personality

♡ homesick or traveler: homesick

♡ musician or artist: both??? (isn’t a musician an artist.......)

♡ woods or city: city

♡ tv or youtube: tv esp. hgtv 

♡ phone or computer: computer

♡ family or money: money 

♡ books or movies: books

♡ food or sleep: food

tagging @foewreckem, @wishingformemoria, @zenathered, @snurbleberry, @setosuu, @newty, @the-rosehouse, @barbariccia!

tagged by @thelegendofivalice! ty gilly!

#all about me

[lovemesomesurveys]

A Do you live in America?: I do. Favorite Animal?: Giraffes and dogs. Do you like Apples?: Meh. They’re okay. I couldn’t tell you the last time I had one, though.  Would you ever be an Astronaut?: Nooo. Just the idea of outer space terrifies me. Do you shop at American Eagle?: No.

B Who is your Best Friend?: My mom. Do you have a Boyfriend?: No. Are you Bisexual?: No. Did/Do you play with Barbies?: Yeah, I was obsessed with Barbies. Do you have a Baby?: No.

C What is your favorite type of Chocolate?: White chocolate. What's your favorite Candle scent?: I like autumnal scents. Do you celebrate Christmas?: Yesss, I love Christmas. What's your favorite Color?: Pastels, rose gold, sea foam green, coral, and yellow. Do you like Cats?: Sure.

D What holidays do you Decorate for?: Halloween and Christmas. Are you scared of the Dentist?: Yes. I always have the worst anxiety beforehand and during. Do you like doing DIYs?: I’m not the crafty type. When was the last time you went to the Doctor?:  This past Tuesday. What's your favorite alcoholic drink?:  None. I don’t drink.

E What do you do for Easter?: My family and I have a nice dinner. What is one thing you do Every day?: Drink coffee. Have you ever seen the Eiffel Tower?: Not in person, but I’d love to. Would you say you're Emotional?:  Yes. What's your favorite thing to Eat?:  Wingstop garlic parm and lemon pepper boneless wings and ramen.

F How many Friends do you have?: Zero. Have you ever been Frisked by the police?: When passing through airport security. Do you enjoy French Fries?: I do. How often do you Forget things?: I have a pretty good memory, generally. Have you ever gotten into a Fight?: No.

G Are you a Girl?:  I am. Do you believe in God?:  Yes. Do you have a Girlfriend?:  No. Are you Gay?:  No. Are you Glad to be taking this survey?: I wouldn’t say I’m glad.

H Do you dress up for Halloween?:  No, not anymore. I haven’t the past few years. Hello, How are you today?: It’s only 6 in the morning, but I’m alright.  Do you like Horses?: Sure. Have you ever been High?:  Yes. Do you like Hot weather?: Noooo. I dread summer. I don’t do well with the heat.

I Do you think this survey is Incredible?: I wouldn’t go that far, sorry. What's your favorite flavor of Ice cream?:  Strawberry. What is one of your Interests?: Surveys. Did you do the Ice Bucket Challenge?: I did, actually.  Have you ever been Ice skating?: No.

J Tell me a Joke.: Nah. What is your favorite Junk Food?: Sourdough bread and dip. Is there any Jewelry you wear every day?: Nope. What's your favorite type of Juice?: None. I don’t like juice. Do you believe in Jesus?: Yes.

K Who was the last person you Kissed?:  Joseph. Describe your first Kiss.: It was awkward, but I was all giddy about having had my first kiss lol. Have you every Kicked someone in the balls?: No. Will you break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar?:  Sure. What's your favorite Kids' show?: I still like watching Rugrats, Hey Arnold, and Doug.

L Are you a Lesbian?:  No. Are you in Love?:  Nope. Do you like Lemons?: I like lemon flavored things, but I don’t eat actual lemons.  What do you eat for Lunch?: If I have lunch, it’s probably breakfast food, pizza, or leftover spaghetti and meatballs from the night before. Do you Lose things often?: No.

M Do you watch Markiplier?:  I don’t even know what or who that is. Do you know someone named Michael?: No. Do you play Minecraft?:  Nope. I’ve never played. Do you Miss someone?:  I’ll always miss my loved ones who passed away. Do you like Mozzarella sticks?: I do. Damn, those sound really good right now I haven’t had them in awhile.

N Would you consider yourself a Nice person?: I think so. What's your Nickname?:  Steph or Sis. Do you get your Nails done?: Nope. I’ve only had them done once and that was for my 8th grade promotion. Do you listen to Nickelback?:  Yeah. I don’t know when it became a thing to hate on them. Have you bought anything New?: I recently bought some journaling stuff and a Bible study book.

O Do you sleep with your door Open?: No. Do you know anyone who has really bad Odor?: No. Would you ever be in an Open relationship?:  No.  Do you like being at the Ocean?:  I love going to the beach and being near the ocean. Watching and listening to the waves crash in and out and feeling that cool air is very relaxing to me. How Old are you?:  31.

P Do you watch Pewdiepie?:  No. Have you ever Puked mid blowjob?: Wow, you just threw something like this in the midst all casual. Uh, I’ve never given one. Do you like People?:  I much prefer dogs.  What are your favorite Pizza toppings?: Feta and ricotta cheese, spinach, crumbled meatballs, garlic, and pesto. Do you have any Piercings?:  Just my earlobes.

Q Are you a Quiet person?: Yes. Have you ever Quit a job?: I’ve never had a job. How Quick are you getting ready to leave the house?: I just change my clothes, brush my teeth, throw my hair up or put on a hat or beanie, put my shoes on, put a jacket or hoodie if needed, and grab my stuff and go. It doesn’t take me long. What is your favorite Quote?: I have numerous favorites. Have you ever met a Queen?: No.

R Have you ever had Rabies?:  No. Are you close to your Relatives?: I am with my immediate family. What ended your last Relationship?: He did. Do people call you a Redneck?: Uh, no. Rate this survey.:  I don’t know. It’s fine.

S Do you like sports?:  No. What is your favorite Sex position?: -- Do you like to go to Six Flags?:  I did when I was younger.  Is Summer your favorite Season?:  Ew, nooo. I hate summer. Do you like to Shout?:  No. I’m not a loud person.

T Do you Toast your Poptarts?:  I always liked just eating them out of the package. Do you like to be Terrified?: I enjoy scary movies and psychological thrillers and getting a little scared or creeped out is what makes them good, but being terrified is on a whole other level and that’s definitely not something I want to be. Are you on Tinder?: No. I’ve never used any dating apps or websites. Do you like Tacos?:  Sure. Have you ever played Tennis?:  Nope.

U Are you wearing Underwear?:  Yes. At a restaurant, What's your Usual?: Chicken tenders and fries. Quick! Look Under your bed. What's there?: I don’t have to look I know there’s nothing there. Have you seen the movie Up?:  Yes. Would you say you're an unorganized person?: I kind of am now, but I didn’t used to be. I just don’t have the energy or motivation anymore. I’m a mess of a person.

V Do you like Velcro?:  Uh, sure. What would be your perfect Valentine's day?: It’s really just been another day for me. I’ve never had a boyfriend or date for Valentine’s Day. Have you ever seen a Velociraptor?:  Well, not a real, living one obviously.  Have you ever Visited a Volcano?: No. What Vehicle do you drive?: I don’t drive.

W Do you like the Water?:  Not especially, I just drink it cause we have to. It’s not something I really enjoy like I do my coffee. Do you like Wendy's?: Nah, they’re my least favorite fast food. Do you like Walruses?:  Sure. Do you hate Waiting?: I’m very impatient. Waiting makes me anxious. Do you like Waffles?: Yes.

X Have you ever played with a Xylophone?:  Yeah, in elementary music class. Have you ever had an Xray?: Numerous times throughout my life. Did you ever wish you had Xray vision?:  No. Do you still love your EX?:  No. Do you hate the letter X?: No. 

Y Is your favorite color Yellow?: It’s one of them. What has been your favorite Year?: Childhood years. Do you hate being Yelled at?:  There’s nothing enjoyable about that. What did you do Yesterday?: Same stuff as always. What was your favorite thing to do when you were Younger?: Play Barbies, playing with my cousins, watch cartoons.

Z Have you ever went to the Zoo?: Yeah. Do you hate getting Zits?: Yes. Thankfully, I rarely get them now. Do you like Zebras?:  Sure. Do you like eating Zebra cakes?: Yeah, those are good.  Do you use Zedge?: I don’t know what that is.

#personal #text #survey #surveys #abc survey

[thechasefiles]

The Chase Files Daily Newscap 14/2/2020

Good Morning #realdreamchasers ! Here is your daily news cap for Friday February 14th, 2020. There is a lot to read and digest so take your time. Remember you can read full articles via Barbados Government Information Service (BGIS), Barbados Today (BT), or by purchasing a Weekend Nation Newspaper (WN).

EDUCATION MINISTRY WARNED ABOUT IGNORING UNION – The “stench of physical rot and infrastructural decay” at Vauxhall Primary is bad. But it’s not the worst case of environmental issues affecting learning institutions across the island, the Barbados Union of Teachers (BUT) has warned. In the wake of a rat infestation problem, substandard bathroom facilities and other environmental issues which have captured public attention, the union has condemned the Ministry of Education’s attitude and approach as “untenable and unacceptable”. And, unless “proactive changes” are made in “short order”, the union is threatening to bring a slew of other unhealthy and unsafe existing situations to the public’s attention. “We are most keenly aware that the conditions at Vauxhall recently made known to Barbadians, do not represent the worst conditions we can identify,” the union said Thursday in a statement. But despite the Education Minister, Santia Bradshaw’s visit yesterday at Vauxhall during a planned “silent protest” by teachers, the union accuses the ministry of ignoring several pieces of correspondence outlining numerous cases of unhealthy environment in schools. The BUT warned: “We will be forced to make the unhealthy, unsafe and unsecured school plants known in the absence of the ministry’s repeated failure to engage the union as requested. “These developments are not consistent with “a talking government”, what is deemed “fit for purpose” or the best managerial practices. There must be dialogue and feedback forms a critical part in dialogue. Without dialogue, conditions will not be satisfactorily addressed in a meaningful manner,” the statement charged. Looking back on issues which resulted in the 2006 closure of Louis Lynch Secondary as well as Society Primary and Chalky Mount Primary being condemned, the BUT complained that signs of decay at a number of schools built in the 1990’s like All Saints Primary, Lester Vaughn and Queen’s College continue to be affected by “systemic neglect”. “This continues today, unchecked, given there is little evidence of guidelines in terms of the maintenance or inspection of the physical infrastructure of public schools; whether older or newer; structures be wooden, coral stone or wall; nursery, primary, secondary or tertiary; in town or the country; or housing a large or small roll,” said the union. “Certain schools have endured the brunt of extreme neglect while others have been better maintained where parents possess the wherewithal. Some businesses have also supported these efforts from time to time and they must be commended,” the statement said. But given Government’s mandate to oversee the health and safety of stakeholders at all public schools, the union has been disappointed with recommendations made to the Prime Minister and the Social Partnership, which appear to have fallen on deaf ears. Zeroing in on issues of safety, the union indicated it is still awaiting a promised increase in “psychosocial support staff” in the form of guidance counsellors, which the union agreed to introduce after extended meetings with education stakeholders last May. The statement acknowledged that agitation by the BUT led to a summer maintenance programme by the Ministry of Education which resulted in physical issues at 40 primary schools and 10 secondary schools being addressed. However, that number, and more particularly the quantum and quality of the repairs undertaken, represent a mere drop of water in the ocean of unsecured, unsafe and unhealthy schools,” the statement complained. On Wednesday, the Education Minister revealed that 300 children would be away from school for the remainder of the week while issues at Vauxhall Primary are addressed. (BT)

FORDE INCEST A BIG WORRY – There seems to be an increase in incest. So said Minister of People Empowerment and Elder Affairs, Cynthia Forde who, while not having any empirical data, has drawn her conclusion from increased reports about the matter. Speaking to the media after a seminar entitled Communities Make A Difference at the Savannah Hotel Wednesday and hosted in collaboration with the National Assistance Board, Forde said too few young people were educated about protecting themselves. “You can’t have young children, 13 or 14 years old, whose bodies are developing and they know little or nothing about AIDS,” she cautioned. “I believe the statistics in this country on incest, of persons taking advantage of young girls and boys, is climbing. I do not have the statistics, but from the stories you hear, from the little snippets you see in the newspaper where men get charged with having relationships with young girls or underaged girls and women getting charged with having relationships with younger boys, it says to me no sensitisation or little sensitisation is there.” (WN)

GENDER IDENITY WRONGFUL DISMISSAL - For the first time on record, the Employment Rights Tribunal (ERT) is being asked to address an allegation of unfair termination on the basis of gender identity. The development follows failed attempts by the Labour Department to resolve a dispute between Alexa Hoffmann and her former employer, Court Caribbean Law Practice over Hoffmann’s decision to change her name as a reflection of her gender identity. The legal firm has refused to place its legal position on the matter in the public domain. If successful, Hoffmann hopes the decision will set a precedent for the local Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) community. The outspoken activist declined to disclose her given name at birth, which was used in August 2015 when she was hired as a legal assistant. Hoffman explained the issues came to a head when she was attacked in February 2018 and her supervisor, lawyer, Nigel Bennett asked her why she was being referred to as Alexa in the public domain. In response, the trans woman said she explained that although her name had not yet been changed, persons referred to her as Alexa as a courtesy. But it was only in October of the same year when her name was officially changed at the national registry that Hoffman claims she was asked to stay home from work. Weeks later, the trans woman said she emailed her employer to inquire about her status and was informed that she had been placed on leave while the company engaged in consultations on the matter. This eventually resulted in a meeting at the labour department on February 7, 2019 where the two parties were unable to resolve the matter “amicably”. When contacted, Attorney Nigel Bennett refused to comment extensively while the tribunal addresses the matter but admitted the law firm was challenging the basis of Hoffmann’s claims. “We have no issues at all, but as a matter of propriety, the matter is before the ERT and we are simply going to put forward our position to the ERT and let them make a determination. Once they have made a decision in that regard we could make a comment, but it would be highly inappropriate of us to do that before,” Bennett told Barbados TODAY. Asked what legal remedies she would be seeking, Hoffmann doubted the practicality of reinstatement but said she is pursuing damages. Even more important she explained, is the need to set a definitive precedent for “marginalised and downtrodden” persons in the LGBT community. “Outside of the compensation, I am looking to send a message that regardless of an employer’s consternation about the diversity of his staff, as long as that diversity does not have a direct impact on the work they are employed to do…it should not be cause to suspend them,” Hoffman said. “If you have an employee whether they are gay, straight, bisexual, trans, disabled, HIV positive or whatever the situation is…let them do their work in peace, and if I have to go through the Employment Rights Tribunal process to let employers know that I have the right to be left alone to do the work that I have been hired to do, then so be it,” the trans woman added. It is still unclear when the tribunal will hear the matter, and while Hoffman is willing to be patient, she has not ruled out the possibility of approaching the civil courts to adjudicate on the case. The trans activist meanwhile added that she was hoping to empower transgender Barbadians to pursue careers outside the traditional areas of beauty and cosmetology, if that is their desire.    “I keep realising there are a lot of people who go through what I go through as well but many of them feel so beaten and downtrodden that they can’t seem to muster up the fight to get up and stand up for themselves…but I keep thinking that if I don’t make this move, I don’t know who else will make it,” Hoffmann said. “It���s not just about me anymore, because I am thinking about other people who may want to become professionals in whatever field they want. (BT)

EX-NURSE 39 YEAR OLD CASE DRAGS ON - Former Government-paid nurse Coral Wilkinson says she has had enough of her attorney-at-law Sir Richard Cheltenham,QC, claiming he has been tardy in completing her injury settlement case with the State, almost 40 years after her fall on the job. Wilkinson, who fell and injured her back while on duty at the Queen Elizabeth Hospital (QEH) in April 1981, said today she is fed up with how long it has been taking to bring closure to the matter. “I can’t take this any longer,” said Wilkinson. She recalled an occasion in which she said she was being blamed for not getting in touch with Sir Richard. “I said, ‘but you see why I planned that I wasn’t calling back you because every time I call, all I am hearing is that, it doesn’t mean because I am not hearing from you all that nothing isn’t happening. So I said nobody hasn’t called me so I figure nothing is happening,’” Wilkinson stated. Thirty six years old at the time of her spinal injury, the ex-Government health care provider told Barbados TODAY she desperately needs the final payment so she can finish her medical procedures overseas and bring some ease to her deteriorating physical condition where she can no longer bathe herself or touch water with her bare hands. Wilkinson said that last year, her attorney told her he was ready to submit her final claim.  “Every time he keeps telling me the same thing over and over,” she declared. While admitting that Sir Richard was able to obtain an initial pay out in 2017 of some $300,000 to allow her to travel to the United Kingdom for one phase of corrective surgery, Wilkinson contended that that money was not even sufficient to cover all her medical bills and stay in the UK.   She said she had to pull her pocket to avoid embarrassment when she needed transportation to attend therapy or get around generally. She also revealed that in October last year, another offer of just over half million dollars was made to her as a final settlement, which she rejected. “You know how much he offered me that day as a final settlement? Make a guess…$550,000…after 1981 until now and I can’t even help myself. I said ‘no, no, no.’ No way am I going to accept it. That can’t even cover the hospital fees in England,” Wilkinson said with a chuckle. She said that after numerous telephone calls to Sir Richard’s office and hearing “excuse after excuse” she has decided to stop calling. She told Barbados TODAY that Sir Richard has no valid reason for not submitting her final claim to the Government because she had furnished him with all of the documents he requested since 2017. “I went up to [the UK] and when I was ready to come back down, I told the doctors I was going home on August 3. When I went to see the doctors for physiotherapy and so on, all of the doctors’ reports were there waiting for me to be collected. I came back down here on August 3 [2017], and in a week’s time, I had everything photocopied and sent to him [Sir Richard],” Wilkinson stated. She explained that in the same year, her attorney requested an additional medical report, this time from her local specialist which Wilkinson said was provided outlining the condition of her back and her mental state as well. “That wasn’t enough.  In March last year I talked to him. He still had not done anything yet. Nothing he had not done yet,” the former nurse complained, adding that the spinal injury has resulted in such serious neurological problems, she cannot tolerate water on her bare hands “When I go in the bath on mornings and the water comes down and hit my fingers, I would get electric-like current going through my body and I am now bathing in gloves. Can you imagine?” Wilkinson asked with a tremble in her voice. When Barbados TODAY reached out to Sir Richard, he contended that his client’s case was being advanced and more progress was expected in the coming week when his secretary returned from a week-long break.  “Her case is being advanced. She got an interim [payout] up to a few years ago. Went off to London and all the rest,” he said “The last thing that Coral told me, bearing in mind that it is a few years and more since she went to London, that she had seen the surgeon specialist here. So I wrote him and asked him, since we can’t get anything from the surgeon specialist in England, to send me a summary of when he last saw her, because you can’t submit a claim with a report two or more years old,” Sir Richard recalled, adding that he required an updated one. He said it was only after his client called him just before Christmas last year and he told her he was waiting on the report from the specialist here, that there must have been a misunderstanding on his part. “Because although I told you [Wilkinson] I had been to him [the doctor], I did not mean for you to get an update from him. But that only happened a few days before Christmas; so the matter is on my desk and I am working. The secretary is off for a week, so that when she comes back we could start doing some business,” Sir Richard told Barbados TODAY.Responding to his client’s complaint that she had been trying to get an audience with him but gets the run-around when she called, the prominent Queen’s Counsel said Wilkinson was always in his office, and had not asked for any audience with him since before Christmas last year. “So as soon as my secretary comes back, which is next week, I will reach out to Coral and give her a new appointment, so that I could review with her what I have written; so that once she says okay that it is accurate, we can go,” Sir Richard promised. “I could understand that she is also troubled and her situation is deteriorating and she has carried her burden for many, many years…except that some three years ago I did get an appreciable interim for her and she went off to London. This is now time to bring closure to it. But there was a misunderstanding about the doctor here, the surgeon specialist…and she did go to see him. I thought since the report from England is dated, that I should write him.  But she said she didn’t understand or expected me to do that,” he said.Meanwhile, the former QEH nurse said she presently has six discs out of place in her back and screws implanted in her back from a surgery in 1998 intended to stabilize a shaky spine due to constantly falling at home. Wilkinson, who said she has been seeing a psychiatrist for the past 19 years, will also require a battery to be surgically placed in her back to stimulate the nerve to produce feeling, physiotherapy until the day of her death and a care giver considering she is now unable to bath and dress herself. She revealed that once she got her final payout to assist with further surgery in the UK, she would have to return to England for critical follow up treatment every six months.Wilkinson said her physical disability which has forced her to use a walker continues to cause unbearable pain. (BT)

LABANE CASE THROWN OUT – The year-old La Cabane on Batts Rock beach will get its liquor licence renewed. But the renewal came after three residents from nearby neighbourhoods expressed strong objection to the operation of the restaurant in the Bridgetown Traffic Court yesterday.Queen’s Counsel Clyde Turney, who lives at Batts Rock, along with two residents from Prospect, St James, had filed an objection to the renewal of La Cabane’s liquor licence which expired yesterday. The three residents, whose case was put by Queen’s Counsel Leslie Haynes, argued that the noise coming from the bar and restaurant, on Tuesdays to Sundays, was so annoyingly loud that it prevented them from sleeping and from hearing their televisions. They especially complained about drumming which emanated from the restaurant on Sundays and continued until 9 p.m. The restaurant is closed on Mondays. (WN)

GROOM REMANDED – A young Barbadian who does contract work in Canada and goes between that northern country and home, may have to put his planned wedding on hold. Despite his pleas for a second chance and an opportunity to proceed with his wedding arrangements, 24-year-old Winslow Ricardo Bonnett of no fixed place of abode, heard Magistrate Kristie Cuffy-Sargeant say: ”remanded for sentencing”. Bonnett appeared before Cuffy-Sargeant today charged with entering the apartment of Canadian visitor Ethel Marley and her husband on January 13 with the intention to steal. He is also accused of loitering on the premises of Yellow Bird Hotel on February 3 when it was suspected he was about to commit theft. According to the facts read by the police prosecutor, Marley, who owns the apartment, complained that she and her husband were awakened by a noise coming from the kitchen. The court was told the complainant observed the sliding glass door being opened and saw a man whom she could not identify at the time. However, police investigators were later led to the accused based on finger prints and palm prints taken from the door. This afternoon when the magistrate asked Bonnett if he had anything to say, he replied “I apologize to you, the owner of the apartment. I would like a chance…I would like to proceed with being married.” Bonnett, who pleaded guilty to both charges, will now have to wait until March 12 to know his fate. (BT)

CHOO DOE SERVICE FOR $12 IN POT – One hundred and twenty hours of community service was the sentence today handed down by the District “A” Criminal Court No 2 magistrate on a first-time drug offender. Magistrate Kristie Cuffy-Sargeant informed Benjamin Richard Choo, a self-employed man of  #26 Walkers Terrace, St George that he had to complete the service for having $12 worth of cannabis in his possession yesterday. Twenty-seven-year-old Choo pleaded guilty to the offence and was granted $1,500 bail with instructions that he had to reappear in court on June 26. (BT)

FORDE TO REAPPEAR IN COURT – Twenty-one-year-old Rico Radarah Reneal Forde of Salters, St George, was remanded to HMP Dodds after appearing at District ‘A’ Criminal Court Number 2 this morning. He was not required to plead to any of the offences and Magistrate Christie Cuffy-Sergeant remanded him to reappear at District B on February 19 and District ‘A’ Criminal Court Number 1 on March 12. Forde is charged with having one .9mm Smith and Wesson pistol and nine rounds of ammunition on February 7 without the relevant permits from the Commissioner of Police. On January 26, he “recklessly or without lawful authority or excuse, discharged a firearm in a public place”, namely the Sol Service Station at Charles Rowe Bridge, St George, placing Jianne Douglas in danger of death or serious bodily harm. On the same day, he is alleged to have caused serious bodily harm to Shaquille Callender with intent to main, disfigure or disable him, or to do some serious bodily harm to him and used a firearm without a valid licence during the same incident at the gas station. The final incident occurred on January 4 where he is alleged to have discharged a firearm at Government Hill, St Michael, placing Rashad Massiah in danger of death and serious bodily harm. (BT)

DRUG ACCUSED ON BAIL – A 40-year-old unemployed man this afternoon denied four drug-related charges brought against him by the police for the alleged offences which occurred yesterday. When Sherman Danny Green of 3rd Avenue, Harts Gap, Christ Church went before District “A” Magistrate Kristie Cuff-Sargeant, he pleaded not guilty to unlawful possession of cannabis, unlawful possession of cocaine; unlawful possession of cocaine with intent to supply and trafficking of the same drug. After the prosecution did not object to bail, the Magistrate released Green on $1,500 bail when she took into consideration that the value of the cocaine was estimated at $1,050 and the cannabis $60. Cuffy-Sargeant also placed conditions on the bail which require the accused to report to the Hastings Police Station every Wednesday before noon with a form of identification. The case was adjourned until May 6, but has been transferred to the District “A” Criminal Court No 2. (BT)

PRIEST VIOLENCE NOT THE WAY – Barbados cannot continue to turn a blind eye to gun violence, especially when it happens in front of children, warned an Anglican cleric yesterday. Reverend Trevor O’Neale issued the caution in his sermon during the funeral service for 37-year-old Marlon Jermaine Holder at St Philip’s Parish Church. Holder, the second man to be gunned down for the year, was shot and killed outside St Alban’s Primary School in St James, where he had just pulled up to drop off his six-year-old son on January 17. He was shot through the car window. The priest said such acts of violence could have lasting effects on children. “The sad thing about it is, it is being done in the presence of our children. Do you know that a child experiencing violence is going to be scarred? That it is going to lead to behavioural problems? It is going to lead to mental challenges sometimes,” he said.   (WN)

FREE CITY WIFI SOMETIME AFTER MARCH – The Smart Bridgetown project, which includes free public WiFi, has been delayed another three months, the Government’s information technology chief has told Barbados TODAY.  The free WiFi, which is the first phase of the project, was originally scheduled to begin by the end of last year. But a delay in obtaining a vendor to offer the service has forced officials to set a new implementation date of the second quarter of this year, said Rodney Taylor, the director of the Data Processing Department in the Ministry of Innovation, Science and Technology.  He said the tendering process was now closed and officials were in the process of choosing a suitable provider. About a dozen domestic and overseas IT firms submitted bids to provide the service for the community WiFi phase of the project. Taylor told Barbados TODAY: “There were some delays with respect to the public tender.  “The tender has closed and we are in the stages of evaluating the tenders we received. “And we hope that by the end of the financial year, which is March, we are able to sign off on a vendor and start with the implementation of that.” Under phase one, free broadband internet access being extended from the Bridgetown Port to Independence Square. And with officials now considering adding new areas including the planned Fairchild Street market, the free Wi-Fi could stretch from the Jewish Synagogue in Magazine Lane to Golden Square in Jordans Lane.The next phase of Smart Bridgetown is “smart parking”  which will use a smartphone app to locate available spaces in Bridgetown and pay for parking electronically, said Taylor. Smart Bridgetown was allocated about $1 million to get it started. (BT)

There are 323 days left in the year Shalom!  Follow us on Twitter, Facebook & Instagram for your daily news. #thechasefiles #dailynewscaps #bajannewscaps #newsinanutshell

[sophygurl]

10,000 Worlds; 10,000 Feminisms: What Even IS Feminist Science Fiction Anyway? - Wiscon 41 panel write-up

These tend to be long and only of interest to specific segments of folk so click the clicky to read.

Disclaimers:

I hand write these notes and am prone to missing things, skipping things, writing things down wrong, misreading my own handwriting, and making other mistakes. So this is by no means a full transcript. 

Corrections, additions, and clarifications are most welcome. I’ve done my best to get people’s pronouns and other identifiers correct, but please do let me know if I’ve messed any up. Corrections and such can be made publicly or privately on any of the sites I’m sharing these write-ups on(tumblr and dreamwidth for full writings, facebook and twitter for links), and I will correct ASAP.

My policy is to identify panelists by the names written in the programming book since that’s what they’ve chosen to be publicly known as. If you’re one of the panelists and would prefer something else - let me know and I’ll change it right away.

For audience comments, I will only say general “audience member” kind of identifier unless the individual requests to be named.

Any personal notes or comments I make will be added in like this [I disagree because blah] - showing this was not part of the panel vs. something like “and then I spoke up and said blah” to show I actually added to the panel at the time.

10,000 Worlds; 10,000 Feminisms: What Even IS Feminist Science Fiction Anyway?

Moderator: Julie C. Day. Panelists: Jackie Gross (ladyjax), Lauren Lacey, (Kini Ibura Salaam was listed, but unable to make the panel due to travel issues)

#10000Worlds - lots of livetweets if you want to see more, also lists of recs including stuff I’m sure I missed

Julie introduced herself, saying this was her first WisCon, she is a writer, and “I am weird.”

Lauren introduced herself and talked about teaching at Edgewood college - teaches contemporary speculative fiction and directs the women and gender studies program. She recently taught a class on contemp. global feminisms. 

Jackie introduced herself as a writer of fanfic (ladyjax on AO3), and also teaches at UC Berkley. Used to work for a women’s bookstore. Motherlands was the first feminist book she read at age 13. She said she started out as a feminist, and then a black feminist, and then a lesbian black feminist. 

Julie started off the questions about SF as feminism being a broad category, so make it personal, and asked the panelists to list off a couple of best/worst works of feminist SF.

Lauren said a not-fave of hers is Sheri Tepper’s work, specifically Beauty. Revised fairy tales are ways that SFF writers were re-appropriating fairy tales. As feminists, we should be asking ourselves what do we keep - not just in our fiction but in general (example: the institution of marriage - what’s good about it, what it isn’t, etc.).

Lauren listed Angela Carter’s work as an example of her favorite feminist SF. 

In regards to Tepper’s work, Lauren said that instead of re-working fairy tales, Tepper was just doing the same things. She also talked about dystopian narratives as being about how everything sucks, and thinks the point of feminist SF should be about giving hope. 

Jackie brought up Daughters of a Coral Dawn by Katherine Forrest, which she hates with the fire of a thousand suns. It was hyped up, but she thought it was bad, although she likes Forrest’s other works. 

Julie talked about feminist fiction as a reflection of how things are vs. pathways forward to something better - not necessarily perfect but better as opposed to the dystopian/utopian paradigm. 

Jackie discussed the idea of entry points where you find yourself in a narrative. She references Suzy McKee Charnas’ Holdfast Chronicles, which brings you from the past to the present to the future, and Shelly Singer’s The Demeter Flower - “we seem to go to the woods a lot!” It’s like something goes wrong, women pack it up and head for the woods. There are lots of similar stories, you read them to see how this story does this kind of narrative differently. Charnas has others in this genre, also Motherlands. 

Jackie laments that dystopias now are for the sake of the dystopia vs. being commentary on where we’re going wrong and how to change that. [I disagree but get where she’s coming from]

Jackie tells us that the director of Moonlight, Barry Jenkins, shot a film series with the idea of slow dystopia called Futurestates.

Julie asked the panelists about the function of YA dystopias. The teen state is about identity and rebellion, coming of age and opposition to authority.

Jackie posited that there is a difference between a dystopia and a distaster. 

Lauren said a story doesn’t have to be just a dystopia or utopia, it can combine elements of both. She mentioned Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood and Octavia Butler’s Parable series as dystopias that represent the hope of resistance/rebellion. 

She also brought up the New Wave 70′s stories where there was this narrative of women just entering SF (when actually we’ve always been here). At this time, there were a lot of feminist utopias - all female societies where men show up. Herland by Charlotte Perkins Gillman is an earlier example of this type of feminist utopia. 

Lauren talked some more about the timelines of these kinds of stories - the 90′s had an explosion of the more dystopian type, but they always existed as well. The dominate culture latched on to this kind of prepatory dystopia around that time. 

Jackie said that she feels differently about Handmaid’s Tale now than in the 80′s when it came out. “All of this has happened to My people already.” Can/should the show give us stories of the people who were wiped out instead of just saying “they’ve killed all of these people” as part of the narrative. For example, in a conversation with a friend, they were wondering - how would the hood react when this started - because the hood is armed up.

She also talked about Womanseed by Sunlight, which has this idea of different people and groups of people who left society at different points eventually finding one another and joining up. Another example is Steve Barnes’ series that begins with the book Streetlethal about 2 different extremes of people working together. 

Julie brought up Jane Eyre and Wide Sargasso Sea as examples where the narrative makes us relate to the main character so much that we’re pulled in to their reality. The real victim is the mad woman in the attic, but we don’t see that at first because of the point of view character. 

Lauren said that a good writer will flag those silences so that we see who isn’t being represented by the main narrative. James Tiptree does this well. Literary theory asks the question - who can speak, and how can they speak. 

Julie talked about feminist SF as being intersectional. An example is Ursula Le Guin’s Left Hand of Darkness and how reading this, she was exposed to ideas of gender identity much sooner than she would have otherwise. SFF leaves room for more expansion of ideas - gives permission for more and lets you experience things and transforms you in different ways.

Jackie emphasized getting away from the mainstream - especially look for gay and lesbian publishers. She mentions Return to Isis by Jean Stewart - things go bad, a new society develops, but there is war with others. Also Swords of the Rainbow, and Gilda Stories. Basically, seek out things that won’t get published by mainstream publishers.

Another example she gave was Space Traders by Derrick Bell, which asks the question - what happens when aliens show up and say they’ll solve all your problems if you give us all of your black people. It’s told as a fable that’s already happened.

She talked about how early copies of Octavia Butler’s Dawn featured a white woman, so it took awhile when reading the book to realize the main character was black. There was an another example like this that I missed the title and author of, but when the publisher was asked why they did this with the cover, the response was that 1) black people don’t read scifi [UGH] and 2) white people won’t read a book if there’s a black person on the cover [DOUBLE UGH].

Lauren brought up the fact that Indigenous fiction is sold as “Native American” fiction even if it should be put in other genres. She agrees about looking outside the mainstream. The mainstream is what publishes think sells, so we have to seek this other stuff out to find it, and also to send the message of what we want to see more of.

Julie talked more about gay and lesbian publishers still being very necessary.

Jackie added that Barnes and Noble might sell a book by one of these publishers, but it’s the only copy they have, and if it’s a book in a series they won’t have the other books, plus it will be shoved into the LGBT section in the corner.  On the other hand, when Jackie was hand-selling books in a feminist bookstore, it meant being able to say “this is book #5 - do you want me to get 1-4 for you?”

Amazon’s name was taken from a woman’s bookstore - it’s important to remember our history. Mama Bear’s was the last woman’s bookstore in California. 

Lauren brought up that on Amazon, it can be harder to find certain things because people can bid to be at the top of search lists. Amazon and Google are rigged - making smaller publishers and self-published books harder to find. 

An audience member shouted out - “Library catalogs are not rigged!”

Julie stated that there are many narratives to tell and asked the panelists if things have changed?

Lauren said it’s dangerous to historicize the present, but there are ways in which the dominant popular culture has embraced SFF and it’s interesting to look at the ways that has contained the genre. 

She added that we should check out WisCon’s Guests of Honor and Tiptree noms for examples of all of the great stuff out there right now. She said that 10 years ago when she was studying SF, people were surprised that it was a thing you could do - but now people are getting it more.

Jackie said she was fortunate to have studied the golden age of SF. She added that she was a Tiptree judge a few years ago - it’s not all necessarily feminist, but there’s a lot that is. She recommended All That Outer Space Allows by Ian Sales. In this story, women write SF but it’s seen as sort of housewife stuff. This ends up meaning that only women can see spaceships when they come. 

Jackie also said that reading everything for the Tiptree judging showed her that while not everything she had to read was great - yes, there are indeed 10,000 narratives out there. 

Jackie and Lauren discussed how people are looking for more Hunger Games-like stories, but that doesn’t work for everyone. Authors can’t keep telling the same thing over and over. 

Julie discussed how publishers, editors, etc. may not connect to certain narratives, but that has more to say about them and their own biases than about the stories not getting published. 

An audience member asked if there was a word for created societies that are neither dystopian nor utopian. Julie offered heterotopia. An example is Le Guin’s Dispossessed. 

Another audience member said they are looking for publishers of contemporary feminist SF - not feminist fantasy and especially not romantic fantasy.

Jackie suggested Aqueduct Press, but also said not to discount the romantics. For example, Romantic Times reviews a lot of SF. Romance can be a gateway genre to SF. 

An audience member brought up Woman on the Edge of Time by Marge Piercy as having a balance of dystopia and utopia, where the utopian society is based on reproductive technologies. (Either this audience member or Lauren on the panel - my notes aren’t clear which) stated that their students love that, as well as Octavia Butler’s work. 

Another audience rec is Rachel Pollack’s Unquenchable Fire. Jackie seconds this rec and added that it’s a real mind bender. 

Jackie said that utopias can get so boring, whereas many dystopias are like - well that’s kinda how life is. 

An audience member said that as a male, he enjoyed the wave of feminist utopias because he found they were the only ones he actually wanted to live in - not like the male-written ones he’d previously read.

Jackie mentions The Wanderground by Sally Miller Gearheart as another in this genre.

An audience member asked Lauren about finding feminist SF on a global level. Lauren said it’s out there but in the US, we don’t tend to like reading stuff that comes from elsewhere, so it’s harder to find.

Jackie said that everything nominated for Tiptree is easily findable on their website. Also manga is get-able. 

Lauren talked about how a lot of work from writers in India gets described as fantasy but there are genre issues there due to people writing about Hindu traditions and getting labeled “fantasy.” 

Jackie mentioned the discussions that happened recently on twitter in regards to Justine Larbalestier and Magical Realism genre issues - post-modern female authors just tend to get labeled that way and it can be problematic.

An audience member brought up Starhawk’s The Fifth Sacred Thing. Jackie talked about it as coming from the SFF and woman’s spirituality movements, and added that San Fransisco SFF slipstream fic is a whole thing. 

At this point of the panel a ton of recommendations got tossed out, but I’d stopped taking notes because I had to hurry off to the green room for my own panel in the next time slot. Do check out the twitter hashtag as the livetweeters were pretty diligent about getting those listed. 

#10000worlds #wiscon #wiscon 41 #wiscon41 #wc41 #10000 worlds #10000 feminisms #wiscon panel write-ups #feminist science fiction

[canvas-the-florist]

Proselytize - Prologue

I got an idea from a dream so here’s the beginning of that story.

~

"They're after us."

"They're our family! The only people we know! If we run, we'll lose everything!"

"We can't stay here! Look what's happening to them! They can't control their actions and I think they might maul our eyes out next time we look away..."

~

The day three families inherited their great-grandparents' mansion was the day the children had to leave. Sure, the house was beautiful and well maintained, along with guaranteeing a mean game of hide and seek... Something was off.

Like the water hesitating just a bit before running whenever you turned a faucet, but only when you're looking at it. Or the way you ALWAYS trip on the third to last stair, but only on the way up. But it got worse when the children noticed their parents acting weirder.

Like the fact that they'd hesitate to say their names as if they've never known the name existed, and always seeming to speak without making noise whenever a kid was in earshot. Or the fact that the eyes of the adults would turn grayer and darker the longer you talked to them.

Something was going on and the kids were not going to stick around and find out.

~

Adults are odd. They'll talk in shushed whispers whenever something happens, even if it's positive or a slight inconvenience. Joey sighed and leaned back in his chair. His mother and father were doing that weird thing; They were pretending not to talk about him but peer over at him every single minute. Suspicious, but because he's a child, no one would take notice of what he sees. As a fifteen-year-old, Joey would at least hope they would stop pretending the topic isn't about him.

His younger sister, Callie, was more oblivious to it though. She was more carefree and would rather worry about her friends rather than what was going on in their life. Joey knew that being selfless is good, or whatever, but the extreme his sister brought it to made him worry slightly. He walked into her room to check on her.

Callie slammed her laptop shut when the door creaked open and looked up. She let out a visible sigh of relief. "Oh, just you. Sorry, you scared me." Joey raised an eyebrow and leaned against the doorframe. His sister looked taken back. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"What don't you want mum and dad to see?" The older sibling retorted. Callie's face held an awkward smile and sucked in a breath awkwardly. Joey immediately stopped joking around. "You know they don't trust me anyway. What is it?" He closed the door and joined his sister on the ground. 

"Nothing important..." She paused as if realizing that might be taken rudely. "I mean- ugh- Thank you for being here for me, Joey... But I don't want to tell you right now..."

Joey bit his lip but nodded. Before he responded he heard their parents call their names. 

-

Mothers are extreme. Not always, but they can place so much pressure on you that'll make you feel like you're drowning. Or at least, that's what Coral thought as she begrudgingly did her homework at the dining table. As an only child, her moms dotted on her constantly and made SURE she followed through her responsibilities. Well, she appreciated it until her sophomore year. It got to be so extreme that every time she got less than an A she'd be grounded. She just wished she had breathing room sometimes. Her anxiety would act up every single time she had to do homework or freak out at the chance of forgetting something, even if she knew she didn't. All because of the mindset she was taught to have. 

Coral looked up and saw them discussing something in the living room. She let out a frown. They were usually very open with their grievances, this must be something she wouldn't like. Of course... She decided to finish off her homework quickly to see if she could figure out what was happening. Homework, at this point, had gotten much easier but even more annoying. Because now, she had something to reach for afterward and couldn't focus at all. She debated googling the answers but knew that wouldn't benefit her. Especially how her moms were just about twenty steps away from her. 

"Hey, Mom? Mama?" Her parents looked up, mama in the middle of a sentence. Coral suddenly felt her throat close up in fear. Like it got harder to talk to them than ever before. "I finished my homework."

"Okay, but I'm assuming you have more to say to us." Coral looked down at her hands, she didn't even realize she was shaking. Curse mom for being so smart. "What is it, sweetheart?"

"What are you guys talking about? It seems really important..."

The two adults shared a nervous look. Coral gulped, oh no. "Well..."

-

Uncles are irritating. They'll pester you about whatever they assume until you're forced to prove them wrong. Haley and Hiro were trying to avoid the topic of dating, knowing the fact that Haley is a lesbian and Hiro is an asexual aromantic. But of course, the uncle they can't escape wonders if Haley has a secret boyfriend. AND WON'T STOP MENTIONING IT. It's okay, however, because their father told him to back off and let the children sleep. Hiro heard Haley scoff at the word 'children' and Hiro felt himself laugh. Haley punched his shoulder as they made their way to their room. 

"What do you think they're gonna talk about?" Hiro wondered as the door closed. "How gay and successful we are? We both know that Uncle Cole disowned our aunts as family members after they got married... Do you think dad might out us?"

Haley shook her head. "They seem to have something else on their mind right now... Remember how we had to go through our stuff last week? Something is definitely up." The twins gave grim looks. "I'm not really ready for change if that's the case."

They occupied themselves with drawing and reading separately before their uncle's voice called them. Hiro gritted his teeth. He didn't feel like dealing with his homophobic family at the moment. He looked at his twin and they shared a smile. "Are you ready for whatever happens?"

Haley offered her hand. "Perhaps, you?" Hiro nodded and took his sister's hand. 

They both walked out of the room, ready for whatever was going to happen.

-

"Callie? Joey?" Your great-grandparents died, so..."

-

"Good news and bad news, Coral..."

"Good: You won't have to worry about your room being too cold."

-

"Guess who's getting a new house, you guys?"

"Well, at the expense of death..."

-

"We're moving in with your cousins."

~