#college seems fun but i do not have the money to study in canada or get a plane to go abroad tbh

[sansxfuckyou]

i should become a published author without a degree

#college seems fun but i do not have the money to study in canada or get a plane to go abroad tbh

[artificialqueens]

hotel california. (gigi/jackie) — chapter one. - Roza

summary: jackie is a new immigrant to california in the late 70s after the explosion of the iranian revolution and meets gigi goode, a motorcyclist whose father owns the complex the persian is staying at for the next few months. what could possibly go wrong. [songfic based on hotel california]

author's note: thank you to all of jankie candle for being the best support and alex for being the best beta. ty guys for always loving this idea from the beginning, I hope you all enjoy and tumblr is @leljaaa as always xx

my tumblr: leljaaa / ao3 link / ( ꈍᴗꈍ)

— *.✧

August 25th 1978.

Jackie's hands ceased to move as she stood completely stone-faced, looking towards the windows of the Yeşilköy Airport in Istanbul.

Her eyes glanced around the larger-than-life interior of the building as she was left to stare at the small view of the water from the terminal gate her ticket has assigned her to be present in.

Water.

That's all that managed to separate Jackie from her motherland.

All of her childhood and current life was to be completely thrown away and restarted.

The storm clouds concerning the collapse of the entire country had gathered for almost an entire year. It didn't help that everyone was simply butting heads over how to properly come together to try and overthrow the reigning government in power.

The Pro-Western, secret-police-filled lavish monarchy was now, apparently, wanting to be replaced with a Anti-Western theocracy. It had been largely nonviolent, thankfully, and simply was massed with civil protests as well as marches and chants from various citizens.

But the revolution finally erupted when only six days ago, 500 citizens were burned to their demise in an intentional fire that started at a local movie theatre.

Outcry, screams, rallying on the streets.

Constant.

Jackie left her family, called her mother one last time and promised to try to communicate as much as she could when she finally reached the West.

Storming out of University she groaned, running for Istanbul with her one suitcase after she hugged her roommate goodbye. She wiped the tears from her eyes as she passed by the warm and friendly neighborhood cats in Tehran one last time.

She adjusted her long blue and white floral dress as she pulled on the tassels near her neckline, making an attempt to tighten the top of the outfit as she gasped, hearing the announcement in Turkish and English about her flight finally boarding the next class in line.

Los Angeles was the only destination she was able to find a decent price for, her main sights were set on Canada where they had vacationed before to see cousins and distant family. However, most Iranians were fleeing to the states, so much so that the number in colleges jumped up almost 40,000 people.

Arrangements for her housing were made over in a telephone booth nearly an hour ago as Jackie detailed her situation to the man who apparently owned one of the cheaper complexes in California.

It wasn't her first choice but it was certainly her only choice at the moment, especially when she was about to board a plane to the destination.

Is this the American dream? Telling a stranger my life story as I sob over a payphone?

They exchanged information and she was booked through the system as she had just barely enough money to cover her basic expenses and the down payment he spoke of.

All that money saved from new year celebrations, her birthday, college and her job as a waitress would barely even cover a good two weeks of rent.

Basic math showed that seventy Iranian rial only equated to a single US Dollar.

Luckily, being an English and Linguistics major she knew the language like the back of her hand even if she still slipped heavily into her accent while conversing.

She could at least try to find work with the skills she had under her belt.

I know French fluently in any worst case. I'm sure there's some posh, Parisian strolling around the malls of America I've heard described in my magazines.

"Thank you," she whispered in English as she gripped her pastel blue suitcase close to her chest, stepping past the flight attendant as she entered the covered bridge.

My whole life is now on hold.

— *.✧

"Morning Miss Goode," a gentle voice spoke as the blonde flipped her long hair and shut the door in front of her. She smiled seeing one of their long time visitors, Clarissa, sitting near the lounge of the apartment complex with Earth, Wind & Fire blaring across the radio.

"Good morning," she grinned as she gave her a hug, gently crouching as she tried to keep a smile while hugging the older woman, who was reading her daily newspaper.

Her denim jumpsuit was covered in oil stains as she wiped her face dabbed in sweat.

"Riding again?"

The twenty year old laughed, confirming the woman's suggestion and shrugging with a small smile painted across her lips as she tied her hair back, explaining that she was trying to see if her motorcycle had an oil leak, that was all.

"Just trying to work on the bike while I can."

Owning the complex was always some kind of burden and weight on her shoulders, though it wasn't the Ritz or a five star resort, she grew up knowing it was a deep part of her family history and she was next to own it and take over the business.

Go to University and study business, paid for by her parents, come home and expand the housing and see a surge in profit.

If this plan was the stairwell to Heaven, Gigi had completely turned around and jumped off backwards after hitting that first step.

Gigi could care less about education in a society where no one cared unless you were rich or singing the number one hit song charting on the radios.

She had barely gotten her high school diploma before she decided to drop out of community college, despite getting to live with her best friend since middle school, Crystal.

The redhead had been extremely anxious about the sudden separation, until she realized that the starving poor artist wasn't a good look for her or her family, who barely had enough means as it was.

Now they both worked at the complex for decent money, Crystal great with design and helping out with various projects concerning architecture or the new paint jobs for the inside of some of the rooms.

Gigi was often stuck at the front desk, or trying to mingle with confused or returning guests who took every chance to complain to the daughter of the owner whenever they possibly could.

She entered the door to her childhood home as she was immediately met with an uncertain stare directed her way.  

"Dad—" her lips pursed together as she was immediately stopped by her father who sighed, not even needing an explanation of where she was or what she partook in instead of her job at the front desk of the small hotel.

"Gigi! We talked about this, you have to focus on your job here and make your money's worth and not just ride your bike!"

"I know…" she pouted as she took a deep breath, saddling in for another long rant from her father. But her mom seemed to hear her inner prayers, walking by and rubbing her shoulders, insisting that Gigi was allowed to have some fun during these hot dull summer months.

"Thank you," she whispered as she was bestowed with a loving kiss upon her forehead, her mom holding her hand as she stepped over to the kitchen, asking if Gigi would like anything to drink.

"I'm good."

Her father seemed to ignore the last two minutes as he sat on the couch, blissfully watching whatever channel was being broadcast as the mention of a new, month long rental had called in this morning.

"She's coming all the way from Iran. Only a bit older than Gigi."

Gigi's ears perked up as she changed in the bathroom out of the tight outfit into her short-cut t-shirt gifted from Crystal as a token of their friendship.

Her mind ran rampant with questions as she bit her lower lip and shook her head; she knew well enough from consistent pestering and close observation that right now wasn't a good time to be speaking about something still considered so taboo.

The only lesbian in all of Los Angeles who wasn't ancient or leading an uprise was Crystal and her other close friend from high school, Jan, who was as about as open as you could get with someone still fiercely in the closet.

"What about a new girl?" She asked curiously as she stepped out from the shadows.

Her father smiled, happy that Gigi was interested in anything pertaining to work, though the blonde knew exactly where her head laid with that question.

"She's a refugee, the revolution is apparently starting to build and she needs a place to stay," her mother recapped as Gigi slid by the fridge, listening impatiently to her father's blind knowledge of politics and foreign affairs as she stole a soda.

"Their royalty recently spoke to our own Jimmy Carter you know."

"Really?" Gigi replied with genuine shock, opening her bottle of Dr. Pepper, completely forgetting who her own country's president was for a solid two minutes.

I could give less of a shit.

It wasn't her fault she had failed Government and Economics in high school.

She had always been in favour of taking those 45 minutes to instead go on a ride or just hide behind the bleachers with one of the cigarettes she had managed to steal from Crystal.

"Name?"

"Jacqueline, she's scheduled to arrive around late afternoon so we should go down in a few to work on some unfinished papers and also to make sure she's comfortable."

Gigi groaned, sipping her drink as she kept moaning at the thought of having to do math at a table alone. The incredibly interesting job of paperwork, however, would end with her meeting a new and mysterious woman almost her age.

She could either be Gigi's next crush or turn into a decently close friend, and either way she considered it a win-win situation for the better.

— *.✧

"More to the left," the blonde spoke as Crystal lifted the piece of artwork towards the end of where she had placed her chair.

"Good!"

Nailing it in, the redhead jumped down from the chair as she and Gigi exchanged a round of high fives and hugs.

The time had rolled around to ten minutes to four in the afternoon as the two were attempting to keep on singing with the ABBA record that was playing as they finished up the final touches of the autumn decor near the lobby.

It wasn't the most interesting time, but the pair always managed to make it as lively and fun as can be.

"Good job," she admitted as both headed for the pool before Gigi gasped, stopping immediately in her tracks when noticing what must've been the new Persian girl her father was talking about.

"Crystal, that's her!" She whisper-shouted as her best friend nodded, looking up and down at her beautifully styled outfit.

Flowing curly black hair, her dress long with a slit almost up to her thigh as she wore her locks down with little makeup on.

She was more than beautiful.

She was completely ethereal.

A goddess, the kind of figure that would make anyone stop on the street just so they could take her in and bask in the pure, unfiltered grace and poise you would feel looking at such a textbook definition of stunning.

Crystal disappeared in broad daylight as Gigi was left staring, engulfed completely in fantasy and admiration for someone her age to travel all this way just to feel some stable security and safety.

"Your full name?"

The Persian tilted her head, confused before Gigi's father explained that it was just for check in purposes so they could find her room number and call number.

"Jacqueline but most will just call me Jackie, Cox."

"Very American last name," her dad spoke, curious, Gigi wanting to bash her head against the wall the moment the words left his lips.

"My dad was born in Canada," she explained sheepishly as she covered her cheeks with her fingertips, trying to disguise the blush that soon infiltrated her entire face.

They exchanged a couple of chuckles here and there before the Persian finally received the key to her hotel room, Gigi jumping out from behind her father to explain that she would show her the place she would be staying in.

Locking eyes, Jackie's expression brightened significantly as Gigi rapidly fluttered her lashes. Her tough girl exterior completely crumbled at the sight of someone so perfect and refined.

"Gigi Goode."

"Jackie Cox."

They shook hands firmly, the both of them walking towards the elevator as Jackie held her suitcase, completely indifferent to the idea of staying at this complex despite the cute girl next to her who made sure she would get to her room in an orderly fashion.

Jackie missed her apartment in Tehran, she missed the mountains and high-rises in the window of her student home, with the silver tabbies sometimes hopping on the window when they smelled something good being cooked.

"I don't wanna ask you if it's triggering but what drove you to Los Angeles specifically? Is there a lot of students here from your country?"

The Persian smiled, licking her lips as she tried to come up with a put together answer to the question without having to go through a textbook of back story concerning the revolution.

"There is a lot of fighting over my government and I just fled knowing it's going to get worse. Los Angeles does have some Persians here for sure but I only am here because it was the cheapest ticket option."

"Awesome," Gigi gasped, "I mean not awesome! I'm sorry you're here but I'm very glad you're here and are staying with us!"

Way to make a first impression Gigi.

Jackie laughed at how quickly the blonde seemed to trip over her own words as the elevator opened to the second floor, Gigi skipping out before holding out her hand for the taller woman.

"Ladies first."

"Thank you!"

Making her way to the door she slid her key into the room as she finally managed to unlock it before nodding at the space within the room.

"It's very nice!"

"You don't have to lie just because my father owns this building," Gigi admitted with a snicker as Jackie shook her head furiously.

"I mean it!"

Gigi couldn't help but stare at the brightly coloured walls, though she supposed anything was better than Jackie's current situation back in her home country.

She explained that her and her best friend were probably going to be redoing the rooms soon with new paint job finishes.

"It's very cute, I like the colours."

Jackie sets her suitcase down on the couch as she jumps on to it, wiggling around as she leaned back and sighed, remembering suddenly that she needed to find a way to speak with her mother.

"Do you possibly have some kind of phone around? I just need to contact my mother if that's okay."

Gigi frowned, the idea of being away from her mom during a damn revolution abroad completely would destroy her, though Jackie seemed fine, or was at least able to mask her true emotions extremely well.

"Yeah, there should be one in the kitchen. It has a guide in English and French if you know it," She jokes though the Persian claps, admitting she's fluent and better at it than English.

Oh so she's also a cunning linguist.

What a home run.

"It's a bit confusing but if you get stuck you can always ask me, I work at the front desk most of the time."

Jackie stands, their faces in proximity as she thanks Gigi for all the good service and help. The Persian admitted she definitely wanted to see her again considering she was the first connection she had made arriving in America.

"If you ever wanna see me you can catch me on my Kawasaki motorcycle, I'm almost always out somewhere riding."

"You drive a motorcycle?" She asks, genuinely intrigued at Gigi's few hobbies.

"I do and I would be happy to take you anywhere you need, we live near one of the best downtown areas so whenever you need food or just want to stroll, let me know."

Jackie tucked the loose strands of her black hair behind her ear as she blushed, admitting it might have to be soon since she had to go off and buy some food for herself.

"If it's any trouble, I absolutely do not mind walking…"

"You're not going to walk to a grocery store, what time do you want to go? I'll knock on your door."

The Persian stared at the clock before humming, admitting that somewhere around six or seven would be perfect.

"It's a date," Gigi flirted before making a move and kissing Jackie's hand, saying goodbye to her new-found friend as the refugee stared at her with a smirk.

"Bye Gigi," she whispered as the blonde turned and closed the door, Jackie locking it before trying not to let the thought of this girl completely hypnotize her.

She was beautiful and very sweet. She was trying to make Jackie feel as comforted as possible, even if her responses were sometimes just a bit floundered.

Content with what she had, she turned on the small television perked in her room as she quickly explored the remaining calibers of the place she would call home for the next few weeks or so.

Her body stopped at the sight of the phone as she gripped the wires, her fingers wrapping around them as she anxiously attempted to call her mother, though she knew it was a long shot, and if it wasn't it would still be expensive.

No answer.

She groaned, head in her heads as she attempted to not cry. She put aside some of her extra money she budgeted out for non-necessity items.

I will ask Gigi to find me a payphone so I can give a call.

However, I still have to work out these timezone conversions.

Her suitcase was filled to the brim with whatever she could bring: her best outfits, three pairs of shoes, all her basic first aid, the money, some tokens of her home country to keep her at ease, a small Iranian flag and some miscellaneous items to keep her entertained like a few vinyl records and lots of art and writing materials.

"This is the American dream they always speak about," she muttered under her breath as she pulled out a long white kaftan to wear for the rest of the day.

Welcome to the United States Jackie, everything is only uphill from here...

#rpdr fanfiction #jackie cox #gigi goode #crystal methyd #jan sport #gigi x jackie #lesbian au #seventies au #decades au #song fic #hotel california #roza #concrit welcome #s12

[your-hurricane]

neon moon || chapter 1 - broadcast me a joyful noise unto the times

A/N:  Disclaimer, I haven’t written fanfic since I was fourteen so please be gentle with me, friends

AO3 link

Fair warning that the only editing this has gone through has been proofreading!

Also, the first two chapters are largely exposition and setting up the various connections between Frankie and the MC (Natalia), but they will finally get to meet in chapter three!

Neon Moon summary: [starts three years after the events of the movie]

Single dad Francisco "Frankie" Morales and former Ph.D candidate Natalia Yevstigneyev-Diaz are trying their best. 

Alternatively: Frankie and the woman about to change his life keep missing each other, until they don't.

“Whoo-wee! Nice one, Diaz!” Benny said from where he’d just been knocked onto his back atop the sparring mats. 

 At her instructor’s praise, Natalia Diaz preened, making a show of taking her long dark wavy-curls out of her workout ponytail and flipping her hair over her shoulder. “Thank you, thank you, always happy to hear my badassery is increasing.”

 “I’d say perfecting. That was solid.”

 “Yeah, haven’t seen him go down that unexpectedly probably ever,” piped up a man with big, kind brown eyes whose name Natalia swore was Frankie. She’d only ever heard him called by his real name once or twice --- Benny usually greeted him as Fish.

 If Frankie was here, that meant the rest of Benny Miller’s military buddies would be trickling into the gym. Pity they seemed to be on time today— flipping Benny was fun, maybe he’d’ve given her a window to do it again. Sometimes if his buddies ran late he’d keep sparring with her past the self-defense session she’d paid for. 

 “It’s thanks to him and his lessons! Wouldn’t know where to begin without him.” Natalia hi-fived Benny from where he was on the floor, now sitting. “Thanks as always, Benny. See you Friday afternoon?”

 “Hell yeah!”

 “Awesome. Well, I’ll get out of your hair before the rest of the guys show up. Later Benny!” She nodded politely to Frankie just as she spotted the man she knew to be Benny’s older brother and...Pope? Santiago? again, she’d only run into these men in passing.

  ~.*~.*~.*~.*

Natalia Diaz’s early life read like an adventure, and in many ways, it had been. Her mother, Anna Diaz, was a first generation Mexican-American of Spanish, Mixtec, and Chinese background who met her father, then in medical school, while studying abroad in Russia. Her father, Gavril Yevstigneyev, was from Yakutsk of mixed Russian, Yakut, and Chuvash background. He was a doctor who gave up the possibility of an ultra-lucrative career to spend most of his life working as a medical officer in human rights organizations, and she was a research assistant in those same organizations.

 Born while her father was practicing in St. Petersburg, Natalia Gavrilovna Yevstigneyeva Diaz didn’t spend too long in one place. She may have been a dual citizen of the United States and Russia but she didn’t set foot in the United States until she was twelve years old, and her earliest concept of ‘home’ was Pakse, Laos. She was educated at international schools across Southeast Asia, and spoke Lao, Khmer, and Vietnamese in daily life depending on where the Yevstigneyev family was living, Russian at home, learned English and French at school, and her mother taught her enough Spanish to understand her abuela’s English-Spanish mix on birthday and Christmas phone calls.

 When it came time to graduate from secondary school - she graduated in Laos, ultimately  - she even applied to universities across Laos, Canada, Cambodia, France, The United States, Switzerland, China, Singapore, Australia, and Russia. At her parents’ insistence she cast her net far and wide. Except, with twenty-two acceptance letters and zero rejections, she almost wished she hadn’t.

 She studied at McGill University and through a combination of scholarships, her parents’ help, and her “waitressing” job (stripping job actually, and Natalia was damn proud of it and the crazy money it made, but knew her parents would flip out on her so she lied), she earned her B.A.s in linguistics with a minor in translation and interpretation, and anthropology.

 She had her pick of the litter as far as where she could settle post-grad: her dual citizenship made the US and Russia wide open to her, Canadian employers were offering to keep her in Canada, her parents still lived in Laos - six years in one place? That was a record for her folks! - and the NGO they were working for straight up offered her a job without her even sending an application. 

 There wasn’t a grad school on planet Earth that would’ve rejected her application.

 Natalia’s life should have been set forever. For a while, it was.

 After a gap year traveling Bhutan, Thailand, Indonesia, Mongolia, and completing the Trans-Siberian railway with her younger sister Mariya, who took a gap year between secondary school and university herself, Natalia prepared to conquer grad school….at motherfucking Yale!

 That same year, her parents and younger siblings (save Mariya who was studying at Yakutsk State University in their father’s home Russian Republic of Yakutia) moved to her mother’s home state of Texas. A part of Natalia felt bad for her eleven year old sister and the three year old twins out of some sense that her upbringing had been, objectively, the best possible. Natalia did not feel Russian, or Mexican, or American, or Laotian, or Cambodian, or Vietnamese, nor did she feel the need to. Borders were an arbitrary thing. People were people just with different languages, looks, and customs, and she believed she came to know that truth early in life because of her childhood as a third culture kid. 

 She understood why her parents made that decision though.

 In her first year of grad school, the Yevstigneyev Diaz siblings were twenty-two year old Natalia, nineteen-year-old Mariya, eleven-year-old Valentina, and two-year-old Alisa and her twin brother, the only boy in the family, Pavel. Alisa had been born partially deaf and their parents, as if they could react any other way, saw it not as a terrible thing to mourn over but as an opportunity to learn. A challenge did not equal a burden in their eyes. When she was two, however, they realized they needed to either move back to Russia or move to the United States.

 The Yevstigneyevs primarily worked and lived in Vietnam and Laos, and there was no singular Laotian or Vietnamese sign language, rather, localized sign languages. As Alisa grew from an infant to a toddler they decided they did not want to deprive her of Deaf culture, and thus, the decision to move to Texas was made.

 Just two years after relocating to Texas, tragedy struck the family.

 A car speeding through a red light killed Anna and Gavril on the way home from volunteering their time to teach Russian classes at the local Russian cultural center. Natalia, then twenty-four years old with a newly minted Masters from Yale and acceptances to three Ph.D programs, had to force out emails declining the offers, pack up her apartment, and move to Texas to raise her siblings.

 Abuela Rita instinctively offered to handle her grandchildren, but Natalia couldn’t possibly make her abuela (who she barely knew at that) raise three children again. Besides, her mother’s youngest sister still lived at home, and this was the same year Hurricane Harvey destroyed one of her uncle’s homes and he, his wife, and their children were also living in Abuela’s home...yeah, no. No, this had to be Natalia.

 It was Natalia or the state of Texas and like hell she was going to throw her three little siblings, two of them just four, and one of them deaf,  into the system. Alisa being able to communicate in ASL was so important to her parents...how could Natalia possibly let Alisa go into a system that wouldn’t care?

 And anyway, it wasn’t so bad. She used her fluency in Russian, Lao, Khmer, and French to work as a book translator. She’d even gone back to dancing four days a week for two reasons. A. You’d think speaking five languages fluently would mean she was making an assload of money, right? Wrong. and B. The inheritance and life insurance policies from her parents wouldn’t last forever and she had four college educations to finance. 

That was three years ago, and two and a half years before she started taking self-defense classes from Benny Miller. She’d only been working at an Austin strip club for about four months when one handsy patron reminded her that she needed a refresher on how to throw a punch.

 As for why she was Natalia Diaz now and not Natalia Yevstigneyeva? Well. She was still Natalia Yevstigneyeva-Diaz, but unless she was filling out legal papers, or at the Russian cultural center, it was just Diaz. Her mother’s last name was just easier for Austinites to pronounce right. You had to be at least a level six friend to unlock her tragic backstory and her full last name.

 Natalia had had everything going for her until one drunk driver took her parents, her Ph.D goals, her planned return to traveling the world, and even her name in one instant. 

 She wished she had it in her to be bitter but that would require her to have time to think about herself anymore. If it wasn’t taking ASL classes with Alisa, it was listening to Mariya complain about her job. If it wasn’t Valentina’s archery competitions, it was Pavel’s gymnastics meets. 

 (Yes, yes, she knew. How stereotypically Russian of them to have a kid in competitive gymnastics. It wasn’t her idea! Pavel loved it and when he begged his big sister to be allowed more than one class a week...she dared anybody to say no to that face.)

Any Natalia time she did have was too precious to spend being bitter, she decided.

   ~.*~.*~.*~.*

“Natasha! Nataaaaaaaasha….NATASHA!” 

 “Wha!” Thud! “Fuck. Oww.”

 Natalia groaned from where she’d fallen into a startled pile on the living room floor, staring up at the ceiling and turned her head to shoot a glare at Mariya.

 “Marusya, one day, you’re going to scare me awake to actual death.”

 “That’s impossible.” Valentina said from where she sat at the dining table typing up a paper for school. “If you’re scared to literal death you can’t be scared awake because you’ll be dead. Dead people can’t be awake.”

 “Unless she’s a zombie, Valya!” Shouted Pavel from his room down the hall.

 “Pasha’s got a point.” Mariya said, to which Natalia grabbed her foot and yanked hard, making her shriek as she fell against the couch. “Oof. Anyway, you’re going to be late for work if you don’t hurry up.”

 Natalia checked her watch and let out a swear under her breath. “I really need to not spar with Benny on work nights. Hey, Valya-” she sat up on the floor and whirled around to face her middle sister. “Do I need to drop you off for babysitting anywhere tonight?”

 Valentina shook her head. “Abuela’s picking me up to take me to Mr. Morales’. I’m watching Daniela.” Mr. Morales - whoever that was - lived near Abuela and her taking Valentina to his house gave her some ‘Valone time’ she liked to say.

 Natalia peeled herself off the floor and made her way to her bedroom, stopping by Alisa’s on the way. She grabbed the purple narwhal plushie that lived in a little basket attached to her door - the Get Alisa’s Attention Narwhal - and gently tossed it at Alisa, and when it landed in her lap Alisa tossed it back to Natalia, kept her hands free, and said “I didn’t forget.”

 “Good. If you’re good at the dentist tomorrow morning, I’ll buy you ice cream after.”

 “Isn’t that the opposite of what you should do after the dentist?”

 “So you don’t want ice cream?” “That’s not what I said!”

 Natalia laughed and stepped far enough into Alisa’s room to ruffle her hair and then said, “Be good. Masha’s in charge while I’m at work.”

  ~.*~.*~.*~.*

 “Thought you were day shift on Wednesdays, Natasha!” A black woman with her hair in box braids — Jess, stage name Phoenix — said, throwing her arm around Natalia when she first got to work. 

 “Nah, I talked to Paris, got my hours changed around, remember? Gosh, it’s like you don’t remember everything I ever say to you.” 

 Jess stuck her tongue out and muttered, “Bitch,” before smooching Natalia’s cheek.

 Natalia shoved Jess off of her with a giggle. “Go finish getting ready, ya crazy.” She sat down in front of one of the available mirrors to touch up her makeup before she was officially working, then addressed Jess again. “My 11-8 days are now Sunday and Monday. Wednesday, Saturday, I’m here with you 8 til 4, baybeeeee.”

 “Mm, good call. Wine Wednesday.”

 Half price wine meant more cash for dancers. 

 “Needs more body glitter,” Natalia said in her best Christopher Walken impression, before unscrewing the cap of her body glitter to shiny herself up. 

 “Now in your Zoya voice!”

 “Needs more body glitter,” Natalia repeated, this time, in her stage persona’s stronger Russian accent.

 The accent helped to further distinguish between Zoya the performer and who Natalia was offstage. It also wasn’t exactly offensive, either, because it was just Natalia exaggerating the accent she naturally had and just making it consistently Russian. It was a mess otherwise. Natalia and Mariya...talked funny. Their accents were kind of impossible to place because of how they learned English and which languages they first learned to actually speak in.

 At first listen, their international school education would hint at American- ish . But listen closely and certain vowels come out like an Aussie or a Canadian, courtesy of international school teachers from those countries. Listen for another moment and you’ll hear that Natalia’s tongue, specifically, never learned to consistently make certain sounds that English has that Russian, Lao, Vietnamese and Khmer just don’t. Natalia’s H’s came out harsh courtesy of her Russian father. And both Natalia and Mariya had a habit of dropping articles when telling their younger siblings to ‘close window’ or ‘feed dog and cat.’

For the most part, as Natalia tried to explain to anybody who asked about her accent, English was a language for the classroom. They spoke exclusively Russian in the home and out in ‘the wild’ spoke the local language. Yakutsk was a closer flight from Laos, Cambodia, or Vietnam than Austin was so if they visited any grandparents for Christmas it was their babushka and dedushka in Russia.

 Returning to the US permanently never was the plan, remember. It was only a decision they made for Alisa to live somewhere with a standard sign language -- and the only reason, Anna confessed to Natalia once, that they didn’t go back to Russia, was because Natalia had recently come out as bisexual.

  “We worried for Valya and the twins. What if they also grow up and realize they aren’t straight? The way it is in Russia for people like you...your father and I love Russia more than the United States. But we love our kids more than Russia.”

 She hated how vivid that conversation was in her head. There were some truly beautiful moments with her mother that had already faded from memory. How unfair of her brain to let things like holidays, birthdays, and her mother’s hugs slip. 

“Drive home safe, Jess.” Natalia bid her friend farewell a little after four the next morning, kissing her on the cheek before she unlocked her own car. If she got up to 70 and stayed there, she’d be home in time to count her tips, shower, and fix breakfast for the kiddos before school and in Alisa’s case, the dentist.

~.*~.*~.*~.*

 “Stand still Pasha,” Natalia said as she gently bopped the seat of her baby brother’s pants to knock the glitter off them. “Your butt looks like a glitter cannon exploded right next to it.”

 Pavel giggled and pointed out, “It’s your fault there’s always glitter in your bed.”

 “You shouldn’t lay down in my bed for naps after I’ve woken you up for school anyway. Especially not after you’ve already got your clothes on, you dingus.”

 “ Heeeey, that’s mean!” Pavel pouted.

 “Not if I’m saying it with love. Which I am.” Natalia stood up and pressed a kiss to the top of her brother’s head. “Okay, your butt’s as unsparkly as it's gonna get.”

 “I don’t see what wrong with having a sparkly butt anyway.” Pavel grumbled.

 “Now run along to the bus stop with the other kids. Be good at school, learn lots, I love you kid.”

 “Love you too , Natashe-!” the -nka! came muffled as Pavel had darted out the door to run down to the bus stop. 

 Natalia sipped on her coffee and watched out the window as her brother darted across the field to the complex’s mailbox pavilion to make sure he joined the other children safely. Satisfied he had, she turned away from the window to trudge back to the kitchen and refill her coffee and begin her vanilla work for the day before she had to wake Alisa for the dentist. On today’s docket? Trying to get through editing at least the first third of her Russian translation of the next book in the hottest new YA series.

 There was nothing Natalia wanted more than a nap but she was already cutting her deadline close. Right on schedule was the same as being behind in the literary translation world. If she wasn’t so ahead of schedule she was getting bored then she was nearing panic mode. 

 Logically she knew that only she felt that way. Her boss didn’t, or at least never felt the need to express to her that he did, but just herself was enough to put the pressure on from beginning to end of a project.

 It had benefited her in school. Not so much in her career.

 A life in academia as a linguistics scholar and researcher would have suited her better. The universe didn’t consider that when it let a drunk driver kill her parents and leave her three siblings to raise and Mariya’s academic dreams to finance.

#pedro pascal fandom #triple frontier fanfiction #frankie morales fanfiction #francisco morales x ofc #my fic #neon moon fic #ofc of color #multiracial ofc #Francisco catfish Morales

[toxoiddiamond]

T H E B A S I C S Given Name: Seong Ki-mun Nicknames: He briefly went by the name Kyle in middle school because he was tired of people teasing him about his “weird” name. But by the time he got to high school he didn’t care anymore and was back to going by his real name. (He also started purposely mispronouncing the names of anyone who made fun of his name– think A-a-ron.) Age: 30 Birthday: November 23rd Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius Birthplace: Anaheim, California Current Location: NYC, New York Speaks: English, Korean (fluently, but his family teases him about his “American accent” all the time) Dominant Hand: Right Education: He got his Associates Degree from LaGuardia Community College, then transferred to NYU and got his Bachelors in Arts & Sciences. He cheerfully refers to college as the most money he’s ever wasted in his life. Occupation: Teaching Assistant in the English department at CUNY Hunter College. He mostly assists with the Writing and Poetry classes, but also helps out with various Literature classes and acts as a substitute teacher within the department if a professor is out sick or anything. He sometimes ends up being treated more like a personal assistant– sent out for coffee or lunch, asked to type up notes or sort paperwork, but he doesn’t mind. Vehicle: Ki-mun’s aunt and uncle bought him a white 1998 Honda Prelude when he graduated from high school, and he still has it to this day. He doesn’t drive much since it’s so impractical in the city, but he likes having it around as an option for longer trips, road trips, etc. Worldly Possessions: Tons of random art supplies– pencils, charcoal, sketchbooks, clay, paints, brushes, etc. Notebooks completely filled with poetry (with many of the poems scribbled out). A fancy smart TV. A bunch of bean bag chairs. A super nice tablet (Ki-Mun may have a bit of an obsession with having the latest technology~). Tons of socks– like, way too many socks. He has an entire dresser drawer just for his socks. Pet(s): A super adorable calico munchkin kitty named Bugsy.

A P P E A R A N C E Height: He says 5’8”, but he’s closer to 5’7”. Hair: Dark black. Very full, soft and shiny. Always seems to fall perfectly into place even with the bare minimum of effort. He usually just puts a bit of pomade in it and tousles it. Facial Hair: His facial hair is very patchy, so he doesn’t bother growing it out. Eye Colour: Brown Skin Tone: A makeup artist friend of his, Andi, occasionally asks to put makeup on Ki-mun as practice (and also for fun) and has informed Ki-mun that his skin tone is “warm beige.” She also informed Ki-mun that he is an Autumn– Ki-mun doesn’t know what that means, but he likes to share it as a fun fact anytime he has to introduce himself to a group of students. Clothing: Ki-mun dresses like a pretty typical hipster, honestly. Skinny jeans, oversized sweaters, band tees, peacoats, cardigans, leather jackets, etc. He usually wears contacts, but occasionally wears big ol’ glasses. Distinguishing Marks: Does being adorable count as a distinguishing feature? Face Claim: Justin H Min

H E A L T H Physical Health: Not bad. Ki-mun was born HIV positive, but has been taking antiretroviral medications since he was a kid. At this point, his viral load is basically non-existent and he is considered to be in remission, with a very good prognosis. Because of the medication he takes, his immune system is not the best, and he is much more susceptible to getting sick as a result. During cold and flu season, Ki-mun will often wear a mask when he’s out in public– his aunt and uncle ingrained that habit in him from a young age (and also wore masks themselves so he wouldn’t feel like the odd one out). Physical Abilities/Limitations: He’s decent at almost anything to do with art, but is especially good at drawing with charcoal. He also likes doing speed-sketches, figure sketches, etc. He is also weirdly good at baseball, and plays on the New York City Metro Baseball Team as part of the NY Blacksox during the season (June through August). Also, he is great at tossing food directly into people’s mouths– popcorn, M&Ms, etc. He hardly ever misses. Addictions: Definitely caffeine, but no serious addictions. Allergies: He gets a mild rash when he eats or touches strawberries. Mental Health: It’s not horrible? It’s not great, but not horrible. As much as he denies it, Ki-mun is pretty lonely, partly because he has such a hard time letting anyone in. He’s not the most trusting person, and tends to keep people at arms’ length until he’s sure they can be trusted. At the moment, he only has one person in his life that he would actually consider a friend. Everyone else is just an acquaintance to him. Ki-mun has sort of “accepted” the idea that he may end up being alone forever, even though that’s not really what he wants.

H I S T O R Y Summary: Ki-mun was born in Anaheim, California, and got off to a pretty rough start. His mother had AIDS, and unfortunately, it was passed on to Ki-mun. He was fine and had no symptoms for a few months, but eventually began to get sick, though thanks to swift treatment, he recovered quickly and the HIV never progressed. As Ki-mun got older, his mother’s health began to deteriorate, until finally they moved in with Ki-mun’s aunt and uncle so they could help take care of her. She eventually was bedridden and had to stay in the hospital full time. One of Ki-mun’s earliest memories is of visiting his mother in the hospital for the last time, which is absolutely one of his worst memories. After his mother passed away, Ki-mun’s aunt and uncle took him in and raised him as one of their own children. They love him like crazy and were amazing parents to him, and Ki-mun has always been grateful to them– not only for raising him, but for loving him as much as they love their actual children and never making him feel like he mattered less. He had a relatively happy childhood in spite of everything. After high school, Ki-mun decided to move to New York– he wanted a change of pace, and wanted a chance to start over and reinvent himself. He found a job and began taking classes at the community college, managed to get his associate’s degree after a year and a half, and transferred to NYU to get his Bachelors. Ki-mun was a very dedicated student and didn’t spend a lot of time getting to know any of his fellow classmates, going to parties, making friends, etc. Still, he ended up being roped into a friend/study group, which is where he ended up meeting Spencer. Spencer was the first person that Ki-mun had serious feelings for. They were friends for the better part of two years, each attracted to the other but both too nervous to say anything. Finally, a week before graduation, Ki-mun got up the courage to confess how he felt, and they became an official couple for all of one day. Unfortunately, once Ki-mun explained to Spencer about his diagnosis, Spencer flew off the handle and accused Ki-mun of being deceptive, being a liar, being manipulative, etc. He told Ki-mun he was disgusting and to never contact him again, and that was that. Shortly after Ki-mun’s heart was smashed to pieces, he packed up everything he owned and moved to a new area of the city, wanting to put at least a little bit of distance between himself and his old friend group. It was here that he met Andi and became close friends with her, and also found a job at CUNY Hunter College. Although Ki-mun feels that his life is generally good and happy– he enjoys his job, has a really good friend and coworkers he likes, he has gotten really into his poetry lately and has been reading it at open mic nights– he can’t help but feel that something is missing from his life. Job History: He worked in his aunt and uncle’s restaurant from ages fifteen to eighteen. When he moved to New York, he did a little bit of job hopping before finally settling on a job at a grocery store– he stayed at that job until he graduated from college and took his job at CUNY Hunter. Fondest Memories: Despite the fact that his childhood was pretty rough at times, Ki-mun has a lot of great memories as well. Family trips to Korea, various birthdays, his graduation day. He also has fond memories of his job at the grocery store– as much as he didn’t enjoy the work, he really liked his coworkers. Plus, all the various spur-of-the-moment adventures Andi has dragged him into. Worst Experiences: His mother dying when he was four years old. Finally getting to be with the person he’d been hung up on for two years, only to be broken up with after less than a day.

C O M M U N I C A T I O N Speech Pace/Style: Sarcastic. Often sounds like he might be annoyed. He speaks in monotone with most people, even when he’s not in a bad mood, so people often think he’s angry or doesn’t like them (and to be fair, they are sometimes correct). If he’s talking to a friend, he’ll definitely be more animated and not so grumpy. And if, by chance, he’s talking to someone he’s attracted to (*coughDODGERcough*) then he’ll get a little tongue-tied, like he wants to flirt but he doesn’t really know how. Accent: American. When he speaks Korean, his American accent does come through a bit, something his family likes to tease him about. Favorite Phrases or Words: When he’s done listening to someone and wants them to stop talking to him/stop telling him a boring story, he will just say “cool” in the most monotone voice he can manage. It usually works. Usual Curse Words: He says “Jesus Christ” and “oh fuck” a lot.

P E R S O N A L I T Y, M I N D S E T, A N D B E L I E F S Personality Type: ISFP-T Sense of Humor: Definitely sarcastic and dry. He can be mean at times, but usually only if the person deserves it. As a result, Ki-mun has been described as “sassy” more than once. When he’s with people he actually likes, Ki-mun is a lot more lighthearted and not so sarcastic. Habits: Twists his lips a little when he’s thinking hard. Rolls his eyes when someone says something he thinks is dumb. Also rolls his eyes and sighs if he’s stuck in a conversation he really doesn’t want to have. When he’s reading his poetry out loud, he never looks up at the audience/whoever is listening because he’ll get too nervous if he sees everyone looking at him. Fears/Phobias: As much as he tries to act like he doesn’t care what anyone thinks of him, Ki-mun is very secretive about certain aspects of himself, and is very afraid of someone finding out more about him than he wants them to know. He can’t stand having his privacy invaded, and it honestly makes him feel sick to think of the wrong person knowing too much about him (he still hates that he ever let himself be so vulnerable with Spencer, and blames himself for not seeing more clearly what kind of person he was). Strengths: Ki-mun is very creative and has a knack for all kinds of art. Although it’s hard to get to know him, once he becomes friends with someone, he is fiercely loyal and would do anything for them. As a teacher/teaching assistant, he is exceptionally patient– much more so than in other aspects of his life. He is always happy to answer questions and help anyone student who needs it. Underneath his harsh exterior, Ki-mun is a kind person who just has trouble opening himself up to others. Flaws: He has built up a lot of walls around himself in an effort to try and keep himself from getting hurt. Every time he’s let those walls down, he’s ended up regretting it and building them back up even higher. Anyone who wants to get to know him has to be very determined. Ki-mun is also not the type of person to be nice just because social conventions say he should– if he doesn’t like someone, he won’t talk to them. If he thinks someone is boring, he will tell them so. He can’t stand small talk and will never willingly engage in it. This makes him a very difficult person to interact with. Hopes/Desires: He is not entirely sure what he wants to do with his life, but right now, he’s happy just working and exploring his options. All he knows is that he wants to keep writing poetry, possibly get some published, and keep working in a field that lets him play to his strengths. Wildest Fantasy: A cure for HIV/AIDS being found. Self-Esteem: It’s a little complicated. On some level, Ki-mun is confident in himself and proud of all he’s accomplished in his life. But at the same time, he has it in his head that he doesn’t deserve some of the things he wants, such as a romantic relationship, marriage, a family, etc. He kind of views himself as damaged goods, unfortunately. Religion: He was raised Protestant, and his family used to be fairly devout. He went to church every Sunday, they read scriptures and said a family prayer every night, etc. But the older the kids got, the less active in the church the entire family became. His parents and siblings are still casually religious, and Ki-mun has held on to certain aspects of it, but he doesn’t care about going to church or reading the bible or anything.

R A N D O M Sleeping Position: Usually on his stomach, occasionally on his back. Boxers or Briefs?: Briefs Day or Night?: He’s okay with both. He works during the day, which he likes, and in the late afternoon/evening he goes to the cafe and hangs out or reads his poetry. Top or Bottom?: Bottom, but he’s willing to switch if his partner wants to. Partying or Relaxing?: He likes parties, but he really prefers relaxing when it comes right down to it.

R E L A T I O N S H I P S Closest Friend: Andi is currently the only person Ki-mun would call a friend. He has a lot of acquaintances, but no one else that he’s really close to. Relationship History: He dated a couple of people in high school, but it was just puppy love and nothing serious. He had a couple of flings in college as well, just short-lived, purely physical relationships, and the only sexual encounters Ki-mun has ever had. And then there was Spencer. Ki-mun has not even been on a date since that whole debacle. Sexual Partners: Just the two guys Ki-mun had brief flings with. Thoughts About Sex: He enjoys it. He’s also pretty sure he’s never going to have it again, and has come to accept that.

P A R E N T S Name(s): His mother’s name was Seong Bo-ram. His aunt and uncle are named Park Min-ji and Park Kang-dae. Age(s): His mother passed away at the age of 28. His aunt is 57 and his uncle is 60. Social Standing: His mother was very well-liked, but was shunned by a lot of her friends after she not only became pregnant out of wedlock, but ended up contracting HIV. His aunt and uncle are well-respected in their community, and also well-off financially, firmly in the upper middle class. Occupation(s): His mom was a flight attendant. His aunt and uncle run a small Korean restaurant which is extremely popular– on weekends there’s often a line of people outside waiting to get in. Religion: Protestant-ish. Quality of Relationship With Their Children: Ki-mun’s mom loved him a ton– the reason she left him to her sister and brother-in-law is because she knew they would love Ki-mun as much as she did, and she was right. Ki-mun is still very close to his aunt and uncle. Living/Deceased: His mother is dead, but his aunt and uncle are alive.

S I B L I N G (S) Name(s): Park Kang-min,  Jang-mi (aka Jamie) Sanders, and Park Bo-ram (named after Ki-mun’s mother). Age(s): 33, 31, and 27. Social Standing: They’re all doing quite well in life and are upstanding members of society. Occupation(s): Kang-min is a commercial airline pilot, Jamie is currently a stay-at-home mom but plans to go back to work as an RN once her kids are a little older, and Bo-ram is a violinist with the California Symphony. Religion: They’re all sorta Protestant, but Jamie is the only one of them who still goes to church now and then. Quality of Relationship with Character: Even though they are technically Ki-mun’s cousins, they always refer to him as their brother. They’re all pretty close; they don’t talk all the time or anything, but when they do, they get along very well and have always enjoyed each other’s company. Living/Deceased: All living~

D A I L Y L I F E Living Arrangements: Ki-mun lives in a modest studio apartment fairly close to both his work and Central Park. The apartment is well-decorated, with a lived-in, cozy sort of look. He’s very comfortable where he is, not at all bothered by living in a small space, especially considering how much more expensive it would be to upgrade to a one-bedroom.

#character: seong ki-mun #character sheet #ship: moondog

[perspicacious-dragon-of-welkin]

How did you know which major to choose in college?

TL;DR

Basically my advice is this:

Follow your gut. Find what feels right.

Keep your options as open as possible, but don't be afraid to dive deep into something.

Changing your mind is 100% OKAY. So many people take time off from school to figure themselves out. And maybe technical school is a better fit for you if working with your hands is your thing?? Or do a year of something and switch programs! Your courses might just count as electives in another degree.

You will be scared. Life is like that. But never make a decision out of fear. Never choose not to do something because of how you fear it may turn out. Decide based on what good could happen from each of your options.

Work hard, play hard. Join clubs, join groups, meet people. Your classes are only half of school. What you learn out of fun will stick with you way longer and be so much more helpful.

Finally, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. You can't pour from an empty cup. After you graduate no one will care about your grades. A degree is a degree. And you can't work if you are drained. Your mind and body is a machine. It needs fuel, it need maintenance, and it needs appropriate rest. Keep yourself running well, and your life will become so much easier.

Haaaaaa...

Honestly? I didn't. Still don't really. But that’s okay.

See, the way it went was in Grade 11 (Where I live, high-school ends after Grade 12), so in grade 11 I started going to info fairs and stuff and hearing people's sales pitches for their programs, and universities and colleges. My grades were always best in Maths and Science courses, and I enjoyed those the most so I knew I was gonna go for something in STEM (Science Technology Engineering Mathematics). I'd had a few people say I'd be good at Engineering, and I'd taken like 30 online quizzes to find out what career would be best for me. I got things like "Custom Boat Builder" (What?? I mean, cool! But what?? Dude, I live in the prairies. Not many boats around here.), and "School Counsellor" (I felt my INFJ coming out in that one), and "Tour Guide", but Engineering of some type was usually somewhere on most of those lists, and it seemed most reasonable and attainable for me. My social skills aren't the best, and while I don't suck at talking to people it drains me a lot, so I really wasn't sure I wanted to make a career out of anything like that. Engineering held esteem, and good prospects for yearly salary, the stereotype around here is that Engineers can't communicate (mostly true) so expectations wouldn't be high for that... It was a good, safe choice, and presented a challenge for me. Everyone told me it would be hard. The hardest thing I'd ever done. I wanted to prove I could do it. So I did. Grade 12 I went to four or five engineering info sessions for local colleges and universities, and I researched any place I could possibly afford to go to in Canada. The list wasn't big.

Many universities were much more competitive than the one I chose, but mine was known for a very.. intimate? Student population? Small, but not too small, and students were known to join up and work together to get through things while some Universities had stories of students sabotaging other's work to gain a higher standing in their classes. The University was one of the cheapest ones (I really didn't have much money saved up. Student loans are definitely a thing), but it wasn't the cheapest on the list. It was one I felt would be of good quality. It wasn't too far from home, that I couldn't travel back in a day, but it was far enough it felt like I was starting something new on my own. I applied within the first four months of grade 12, about 8 months before the time I'd start classes there. I got accepted, found a place to live and completed my first year of General Engineering. After the first year in Uni we were able to request our discipline (what type of Engineering, e.g. Civil, Chemical, Mechanical, etc.) And we had had some opportunities through the year to hear what each discipline was about. I thought I would be going into Chem Eng when I started first year, but decided that was definitely not for me after I took my first university chemistry class, and heard what most chemical engineers did. I decided instead on Engineering Physics despite not really enjoying physics as much as the other sciences in High-school. There was just so many cool things to learn!! And they also told me Eng Phys was "the hardest discipline". It included an extra calculus course above the other disciplines and many other physics courses generally considered very difficult. Again, I wanted to prove I could do it. I went HARD. Studied hard. Took two classes per term above what the university recommended because that was the program. Honestly I think I burnt out. I worked too hard for too many years without taking proper care of myself. Averaging 4-6hrs of sleep a night and eating about 1 meal a day for two years.

***Seriously, take my advice: school is great and important, but TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Go out and make friends. Don't neglect your work to party, but don't neglect your social life to study. AND PLEASE eat and sleep at least close to the recommended amounts***

Anyway, I did some planning and altered my course load, changed some habits, started going to the gym regularly, and I'm doing better now. But you want to hear about major's right?

Basically I didn't choose. In my second year, I took my first ever coding course. I spent the least amount of time on that course and received my highest grade ever in university (still nowhere as high as my high-school grades, but it's uni.) Many of my classmates registered in a program that offered a computer science bachelor's degree alongside your engineering degree for 12 additional courses, which for engineering is about 1 year - 2 terms. I signed up immediately. Those classes have been a great confidence boost, average boost, brain break, and bonding experience with classmates also in the program.

So to tally this up, I'm then registered in

- BEng in Eng Phys, and

- BSc in Comp Sci.

Then, third year. We took the mandatory communications class (remember everyone says engineers can't communicate). I loved it. Decent grades. Not as great as my Comp Sci, but better than my Physics. The classes are in rhetorical theory and persuasion because when you do the math and actually know how something works, it's important you be able to tell people what you know and have them believe you. My professor was the incoming dean for a 'school of professional development' that had recently opened in the college. They were offering a certificate (6 courses, a.k.a. 1 term, half a year) in rhetorical theory and professional communication. Guess who also signed up for that?

So if you've been keeping track, that's a 4yr BEng, 3yr BSc (done in one yr due to double counting courses) and a 0.5yr certificate. That's 5.5yrs of undergrad I've suddenly racked up. And remember how I burnt out just a while back because my BEng program wants be to take 7 courses a term instead of 5? Well I made it 6yrs and smushed some courses over to fill that last year so I don't have toooo many more mental breakdowns or go completely insane.

And I mean hey, what's an education if you can't use it right? So I've been looking for summer student jobs to I can learn about the industry. Last summer I got one of those jobs. Hated it. Worst job of my life. I'm still hoping that experience wasn't representative of the entire industry, but we'll see. So I'm 4yrs done my 6yrs of undergrad, I've racked up an almost unimaginable amount of student debt, and I'm sitting in my bed wrapped in a blanket thinking I should have gone into psychology. I wanna help people. Everything I do is so cold. So calculated. I wanna exist where feelings are more than something to be smothered and exterminated. But hey. I can't stop now. So I'm gonna finish it all off. The great thing about EP is that the variation of jobs for this degree could be anything from Pixar animation studios to a technician at Nasa or JPL or SpaceX to Uranium mining. So my options are still open, I just gotta carve myself out a path. Nowhere to go but forward, right? And I have a full 180 degrees of forward to choose from! :)

So that's my story. Sorry for the length, but hey, you asked. Basically my advice is this:

Follow your gut. Find what feels right.

Keep your options as open as possible, but don't be afraid to dive deep into something.

Changing your mind is 100% OKAY. So many people take time off from school to figure themselves out. And maybe technical school is a better fit for you if working with your hands is your thing??

You will be scared. Life is like that. But never make a decision out of fear. Never choose not to do something because of how you fear it may turn out. Decide based on what good could happen from each of your options.

Work hard, play hard. Join clubs, join groups, meet people. Your classes are only half of school. What you learn out of fun will stick with you way longer and be so much more helpful.

Finally, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. You can't pour from an empty cup. After you graduate no one will care about your grades. A degree is a degree. And you can't work if you are drained. Your mind and body is a machine. It needs fuel, it need maintenance, and it needs appropriate rest. Keep yourself running well, and your life will become so much easier.

#uni #college #engineering #physics #computer science #rhetoric #communication #asks #the dragon speaks #advice

[ofthreechords]

cadel + theron: swtor & the secret world crossover/au concept

Deleted my last post about this because I didn’t like it. Going to try again.

This is a thought that’s been in my mind for the last few weeks for no reason other than that I find it fun to imagine. What if my SWTOR character Cadel Browydr and his love interest Theron Shan were in the universe of The Secret World? (See here for more info on Cadel and Theron)

For those unfamiliar with The Secret World, it’s an urban fantasy MMO. Its setting is our modern-day Earth under attack from occult forces. There is magic, mythical creatures, and secret societies pulling the strings and controlling the world. Among these secret societies are the Templars, the Dragon, and the Illuminati.

All of these thoughts are my own and I’m not dictating what someone else’s SWTOR + The Secret World crossover should look like. I’m just writing my thoughts down so that I can keep track of them. This whole thing is hideously self-indulgent, so be warned.

tl;dr: This is how I’d do it -- Theron comes from Los Angeles, California, and was force-recruited into the Illuminati after graduating from university. Cadel was born in Ottawa, Ontario, into a Templar-affiliated family that taught him traditional Templar values growing up. Details under the cut.

-- ILLUMINATI AGENT: THERON SHAN --

Theron was born in Los Angeles, California. His parents, Jace and Satele, divorced when he was very young. They had joint custody of him, but Theron lived mainly with his mother, only being sent to his father’s when his mother had to travel for work. His mother worked in disaster relief and his father was a businessman. Theron didn’t really bond with either of his parents growing up. His mother was firm and disciplinary, and his father was very busy with work, so neither of them really gave Theron the love and support he needed. He grew up rather lonely, though he discovered a talent for music -- this became his “escape”, teaching himself piano and guitar and writing short songs on occasion. He shared his music only rarely with his peers, and never with his parents. It wasn’t until his teenage years when Theron and his father started to grow closer, and they gained some semblance of an ordinary father-son relationship. His mother started to travel for work more often, and so he saw her less. Jace learned of his son’s musical talent, and while he was supportive of it at first, he convinced Theron that he wouldn’t make a good living as a musician. Theron went to study business in university, with his father paying for all of his courses. He proved himself to be a bright student, and even his mother became proud of him -- however, she could not attend Theron’s graduation ceremony due to her work. After the ceremony, Gaia sent a bee for Theron to swallow, and part of the auditorium was destroyed in the following explosion. Soon afterwards, a group of Illuminati revealed themselves to Theron, and Jace revealed himself as a member. They covered up the incident, paid the university a large sum of money to silence them, and sent Theron to the Illuminati Labyrinth in New York. Suddenly plunged into the secret world, Theron had to rapidly learn about the existence of magic and mythical creatures and the secret organizations controlling the world. He learned how to control his newfound powers, preferring anima-infused firearms over magic. During his time training, Jace informed Theron that Satele had been missing since his graduation ceremony. This came as a shock to them both, as Jace had never known about Satele’s involvement in the secret world. He does not know where she is, but he suspects she is with the Dragon. Theron makes a living as a field agent for the Illuminati, but he disapproves of their lack of ethics, cheating others and their own people to make money and get ahead. Jace agrees with him only partially, but he argues that the Illuminati have power and they get results. Theron wishes to return to his old life in Los Angeles, but he has a feeling that his mother is here somewhere in the secret world, and he wants to find her.

-- TEMPLAR MAGUS: CADEL BROWYDR --

The Templar-affiliated Browydr family is a large and privileged family that has its roots in Cardiff, Wales, though a portion of them live in Ottawa, Ontario, and that is where Cadel was born. Growing up, many of Cadel’s summers were spent in Wales, learning about magic like everyone else in his family. In Canada, he helped his family oversee secret world activity in the area while maintaining an ordinary appearance to the mundane world -- going to school, being part of the community, et cetera. Though potion-brewing was not one of Cadel’s strong suits, cooking and baking definitely were, and they were his main hobbies throughout his childhood. Cadel expressed dreams of becoming a chef, but his parents told him that he was a Templar, first and foremost. They taught him traditional Templar values -- to fight evil and to protect the world -- and Cadel learned to embrace them. Like the rest of his family, he became fiercely loyal to the Templars, aspiring to become a Templar Knight one day, stamping out evil wherever it may lurk. He was a “golden boy” all around, even to the mundane world -- earning good grades in school, participating in sports, and being a role model to his peers. As he grew into adulthood, he started started to reflect on his childhood passion towards food, and how his parents had discouraged him from that. He still cooked on a regular basis, but he didn’t feel the same passion as he did before. He also began to question the Templar values he’d been taught -- thinking they may be too extreme or too black-and-white -- which led to disagreements with his family. Cadel ended up feeling lost, not knowing what to do with his life. He went to college and took courses in various fields like English, philosophy, and history, and while he enjoyed learning in those fields, he didn’t feel as if they were what he wanted to do with his life. Before he was able to complete a degree, Gaia sent a bee for Cadel to swallow. His family sent him to Temple Hall in London, where he learned to use his new powers, and he became proficient in many different types of magic. He favours Blood Magic and Chaos Magic in particular, and has discovered abilities in thaumaturgy. His magical prowess has earned him the respect of many other Templars, and Temple Hall has awarded him the title of Magus. Since he started working in the field, Cadel has found that what makes him happiest is work where he helps out people in need. This is consistent with one of the values his parents had taught him -- to protect those who cannot protect themselves -- but Cadel remains somewhat critical of other values the Templars uphold. To this day, he remains relatively silent about these criticisms.

-- CADEL & THERON --

(If you’re still reading this and you’ve made it this far, I respect you. I also warn you that this following section is the most self-indulgent thing ever.)

Cadel and Theron’s respective factions had them assigned to Solomon Island to rescue survivors and cull the Filth infestation, and that is where the two met. They became friends fairly quickly, and there was physical attraction between the two, but the Templars and Illuminati are old enemies, and this discouraged them from starting a romantic relationship. They kept in contact, but they didn’t meet again until months later -- when they were both assigned to Egypt to root out the Cult of Aten. During their downtime, they went to a cafe and shared stories, bonding and growing closer. They eventually confessed to each other and agreed to start a relationship, but they kept it secret from their respective handlers. From then on, working together became a rarity, but they kept their relationship stable, going on dates all over the world and strengthening their bond. Eventually they stopped being so secret about it, and thankfully, their handlers didn’t seem to care -- so long as it didn’t get in the way of their work. This led to Theron and Cadel discussing their criticisms of their respective factions with each other, and Cadel suggested joining the Council of Venice. It’s in a neutral position between the Templars, Illuminati, and Dragon, and it may enable the two to do more work helping the world and giving aid to people who need it. Months passed, and they worked and advanced through the ranks of their respective factions, and they got the attention of the Council of Venice. Some time later, they both joined. This was seen as an act of abandonment by Theron’s father and Cadel’s family. This surprised neither Theron nor Cadel, but they remained firm in their decision. They both wanted to work in an organization that aligned with their morals. Eventually Cadel’s family warmed up to the change, though Jace cut off all contact with Theron. This made Theron depressed for a bit, but Cadel was endlessly supportive of him. Working for the Council was not all the two had hoped it would be -- it was and still is slow and inefficient, but Cadel and Theron were still doing work that they enjoyed. Cadel’s family began to accept his and Theron’s relationship, and Theron took this as confirmation -- he and Cadel were made for each other. Theron proposed, and they eventually got married, with all of their friends and Cadel’s family at the wedding. They had invited Jace, too, but unfortunately he did not come. To this day, the two still work for the Council and are still in love. Theron goes crazy for Cadel’s cooking, and Cadel helps Theron re-kindle his passion for music. Theron knows that his mother is still out there, and he intends to find her. Cadel intends to help him.

#my swtor #theron shan #cadel browydr #crossover #au #alternate universe #swtor #star wars: the old republic #the secret world

[trueslove]

✧･ﾟ: * (  park jiwon  ,  cis  female ,  she / her  )  have  you  seen  violet  hwang  around  ?   i  hear  the  twenty-one  year  old  is  working  as  an  art  director  .  did  you  know  they  have  97  love  alarm  points  ?  if  they  ever  want  to  be  truly  loved  someday  they  should  ease  up  on  being  temperamental  &  enigmatic  .  at  least  you  can  say  they’re  disarming  &  convivial,  too.  /  love alarm blocked

                     hello  !  im  xan  and  ur  watching  d*sney  channel ...  just  kidding  we  do  NOT  support  big  corporations  who  just  wanna  take  ur  money  😔  im  22  ,  from  the  est  timezone  (  even  though  my  sleeping  schedule  ...  does  not  reflect  that  sjbdwjkbdjdw  )  &  i  go  by  she  /  her  pronouns  !  im  gonna  be  honest  this  intro  is  gonna  be  completely  winged  so  buckle  up  ....  and  meet  violet  😋 

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     quick stats + aesthetics  !

full name: violet hwang. 

nickname(s): vee, vivi.

zodiac: tba....

sexuality: bisexual.

birthplace: manhattan, new york.

current residence: toronto, canada.

aesthetics: maraschino cherries at the bottom of a glass, driving with the windows down at night, unanswered text messages, black nail polish, the sound of rain hitting the windowpane, kissing and not telling, smiles that don’t quite reach the eyes.

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     backstory ! 

was born and raised in nyc baby ! she’s a true city girl, grew up in lower manhattan ( the financial district if u wanna get specific ) to a family with lots of $$$$ thanks to her father’s position as a ceo of an investment bank located on wall street 

life was pretty smooth until she was 17 and her father got arrested for embezzlement and fraud </3 it was actually a huge scandal for the investment bank he worked for because it was a whole group of higher ups who had been in on these crimes. basically a bunch of already rich men trying to get richer ... disgusting ik /: 

her life changed pretty drastically after that ! the hwang name was all over the news, their family was pretty much disgraced by high society in nyc, not a very fun time for anyone but especially not for violet’s mom 

after her dad got arrested violet was uhh high key furious with him for ruining their lives with his greed and she wanted nothing to do with him, but her mom couldnt let go. she was still defending him, spending the money they had left on lawyers which included the money the family had set aside for violet’s trust fund that she would have had access to once she was 18 </3

 so her plans for college changed pretty drastically JSDBJWBDJW ( goodbye ivy league education ) she actually ended up getting into the university of toronto for visual studies on an academic scholarship 

so she made the big move all on her own....moved into a tiny dorm...and vowed to reinvent herself. she didnt wanna be labeled as the daughter of a white collar criminal anymore so she just made it a point not to talk to much abt her past to anyone 

her struggles as someone who grew up with $$$$ turning into a broke college student made for some embarrassing but funny moments <3 luckily though everyone else had their own struggles so no one found it suspicious JSBDJWBDJ

when love alarm launched three years ago, violet had just started college so it was really the Big thing anyone and everyone was talking about. since she’d never been a fan of other dating apps, she wasn’t gonna download it but her roommate at the time convinced her ! at first it was fun, just something she didnt take too seriously 

fast forward to graduation and she’s snagged a job as an art director for a little local museum, doing freelance art directing on the side to help pay the bills. low and behold one day a photographer hires her to be the art director to a shoot they’re doing for a badge club member who was in a very high profile and public relationship at the time

violet ended up working with that photographer and badge club member a handful of times, enough for her to catch fee-🤢 catch feelin-🤢 i cant even say it .. she’d never rung anyone’s love alarm before, so of course her first time had to be with someone who was already taken </3 safe to say she ... freaked out 

she was embarrassed above all else, but also heartbroken bc in her head like ... why would someone who literally is part of an exclusive club based on ppl ringing their love alarm care that she rung theirs ? she didnt think it’d be a big deal to them the way it was to her ( but also didn’t stick around long enough to find out jsxbsjbdjw ) 

when she was offered the block she didn’t hesitate to use it figuring it’s better if no one knows her romantic feelings ever again like that /: she’d delete the app but a part of her still likes knowing there are ppl out there who DO like her like that so ... Rip truly 

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     personality + tidbits !

she comes across as ... kind of a bitch SDJBJWBJWBDW it’s truly not on purpose she just has a pretty serious resting expression most of the time ( so she looks mad or annoyed even when she isn’t ) and she’s pretty difficult to get to know ? not to mention the fact that no one has ever witnessed her ring someone’s love alarm .. so all that combined just makes it easy to assume she’s some sort of ice queen when that’s far from the truth /: 

violet really isn’t one to open up too deep to people, but that’s got a lot to do with the past she’s kind of running away from ! so if you’re her friend most of the stuff you know about her is probably surface stuff, but when she’s close to someone she can make that fact hard to realize ? she just has a way with making the people in her life feel important so it’s easy not to be focused on how much you know about her 

never bothers to correct the people that misjudge her. if you don’t like her, if you want to make up assumptions and rumors about her, go ahead like violet really won’t stop you which can sometimes make meeting new people difficult </3 if you’ve seen the dating class webdrama chuu was in she’s kinda like oh seyoung’s chara joowon 🤧

if she wants to, though, she’s pretty good at getting people to like her / trust her ! she does this a lot in professional situations, which is why she’s been doing so well as an art director so far despite being so young 

she’s also very loyal to her friends ! if you can’t ask for extra sauces at mcdonald’s....if you can’t make a phone call to your credit card company explaining that a $3,000 charge to starbucks wasn’t you.....she’s your girl <3 since she’s relatively not bothered by the way people see her ( unless it has to do with her past ) she’s usually the one speaking up if someone she cares about can’t 

after the ... incident ... JSDBWJDBWJ she’s really not a fan of the badge club and everything it stands for ): BUT she continues to do art directing work for a lot of the members when they do photoshoots, or instagram campaigns, or if they have a pop up shop, etc. it’s good money and she needs every penny considering she’s living without support from her family 

cannot cook to save her life so she’s always eating out .. this really is why she’s taking those more high profile jobs she can’t budget .. but it’s better, safety wise at least, that she continues wasting her money on takeout aha <3 

pretends she’s not a romantic and is all about the ~casual flings~ but really she’s just afraid of serious feelings and the idea of a serious relationship ... it’s the trauma 😔 constantly jokes shes gonna bring the tinder whore era back JWDBWJBDJW she is sick of this true love nonsense ! ( the irony of this url ahaha... ) 

she’s the most social after a few drinks, since drunk her isn’t burdened by a mind that overthinks literally everything the way she is sober. if you don’t supervise her though she can get pretty carried away and probably get into some kind of trouble so she’s definitely not the person you want to be in charge on a night out !

really wants a dog but doesn’t think she’s cut out to be a pet parent it feels just as scary as the idea of having an actual kid so ... BDWBDJW if you have a pet ? she’s gonna be living vicariously through you <3 

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     wanted connections !

the photographer that hired her / introduced her to the badge club member she ended up having feelings for 

the badge club remember she had / has feelings for because we love suffering 😈

old roommates from college !! maybe even the one that got her to download love alarm in the first place hehehe

also a current roommate / roommates because your girl can’t afford to live on her own <3

someone she’s confided in about her past ( maybe they judged her for it and had a falling out, or maybe they remain confidants ) 

an ex bf or gf she dated while she was in school ! she never rang their love alarm ( even though this was pre block ) so maybe that’s why things ended between them. or maybe they never rang each others and it was just a mutual thing where they both didn’t really have feelings for each other and tried to date anyway and it didn’t work. or perhaps they dated and when violet realized she was starting to have those feelings she dipped before she ever got a chance to ring their love alarm bc she didn’t want to be exposed like that and commitment is scary ): 

spare best friend ? i’d use a knife emoji to show you how serious i am but i dont wanna scare anyone away aha .. i would just love a best friend plot 🥺

current flings / hookups or past flings / hookups ! i imagine most of them to not be serious but it would be kinda cool if there was someone she’s seeing now that she’s got the love alarm block that she’s actually falling for considering she’s never gonna be able to ring their love alarm hehehehe

people she art directs for !! i imagine she’s got a pretty long list of employers ( from badge club members to regular folk  🤧 ) so it would be cool to have people who hire her for stuff, or who collaborate with her for artistic endeavors since i’ve noticed we have a lot of artsy muses <3 

ummm maybe an enemy. but where it’s like .. the hate isn’t even that deep it’s just like oh you dislike me ? well i dislike you FIRST 😠 and they insult each other and try and sabotage each other like five year olds fighting on the playground like it seems super serious to them but to everyone watching it’s like ... can you guys just get over it you dumb babies KSDBSDBWD like they could probably be good friends if they just .. stopped 

and you’ve reached the end of this NOVEL of an intro post JDBJWBDJWBDW im literally so sorry i tried not to ramble but ..... its just who i am </3 please come shoot me a message to plot !!! you can use tumblr ims but im way more available / quicker to respond on discord so if u wanna add me there and plot u can find me at junhee mr. soft hands ʕ´• ᴥ•̥`ʔ#8172  i also did not check this post for typos so if u find one ... mind ur business 😭😭😭 

#╰ ♡ . 𝒑𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒅𝒖𝒎𝒃 𝒐𝒇 𝒂𝒔𝒔 ── ooc ! ┘ #lovealarm.intro #HELPSDBWJD finally i finished.....im so sorry in advance this is . so long #also im going out in like 2 hours to eat so if im slow to respond to messages tonight u know whats going on <33333

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi, Loving the blog my darling ❤️ Currently starting uni at the grand age of 21 with absolutely no clue what I’m doing in life. My mental health has really been tough and I feel as though everything is going wrong 😩 I just can’t fathom how people find out who they are or what they enjoy - life just seems to be one big grumpy ball determined to knock you over 😓 any grand life advice you Wish you’d been given or things you think everyone should be aware of? ❤️❤️❤️

Hi Nonny! *HUGS* 

First off, I’m so sorry I put this off so long... I’ve had a headache for a few days and it’s hard for me to give good responses when I do.

That said, I’m not a professional, so please use your own judgement after some of your own research

First of all, don’t feel bad about starting college “late”... there’s NO SUCH THING as too old to learn. I also started at 21, and there were people in my classes on their “second career” (in Ontario, the gov’t used to offer grants for people who were laid off and wanted to pursue higher learning in a second career; not sure if they still do that). I was also in the same boat you were: I had no idea where my life was going to lead, I just knew that if I wanted to work in a professional field, I needed college, and I literally chose my career path by browsing the course offerings at the college I wanted to go to.

In hindsight, MAKING THE EFFORT TO GO TO SCHOOL was a huge first step in a new direction I was terrified to make, and so I totally understand WHY you’re scared, and coupled with mental health issues I can’t begin to imagine the levels of stress you’re feeling. So, I think when you first start (or just before you begin) look into your college’s counselling services; it’s part of your tuition and they’re there to help you get through your schooling. Every college and uni have their own websites, and if you’re willing to dig deep enough (actually, just go to their “site map”, it’s supposed to link every single page their website has), you can find faculty emails and information about counselling services offered and / or any restrictions they have. I highly recommend you start there, try to get an appointment early since many people will be doing it as well. Write out some concerns you have, and bring them with you when you go to see your counsellor. Also, make sure you find out if it’s a life counsellor vs a career counsellor... actually, I just had a thought, all unis and colleges (in Canada at least) have an on-site health centre which actually may be the best place to start for your mental health resource quest. THEY may be able to direct you in the right direction for that aspect. BUT since you’re not sure what you want to do with your career, I do still suggest seeing a counsellor who can help you understand what you can do with your chosen degree / diploma. Doing that may help ease your stress about that. 

Next, let’s tackle the “find out what they enjoy” aspect of your ask: I TOTALLY feel you on the grumpiness, I really do. Even today, nearly 2 decades after my own college life, I’m constantly grumpy and stressed. And I’m not going to tell you to “just think positive!” because that’s ridiculous, and it’s more complicated than just that, and poo-poo to anyone who tries to tell you otherwise. For me, I think it was just trying to do things I never would have, and being brave and talking to people in my classes. My best friends inevitably are the ones I made in college, because we have a lot in common and we did a lot of new things together. I suggest maybe reaching out and doing the same! Colleges and unis ALWAYS have some sort of groups going on, like LGBT, Anime, movies, hiking, etc. TRY THEM ALL. Have fun! Be daring! Most of those types of groups plan outings and activities either for free or at low-cost, and who knows, you may find out you enjoy something you never thought you would! If you spend all your free time just studying or doing school work, you’re gonna burn out before the first semester is over, trust me on this one. 

First year is PURPOSELY the hardest year, just as a word of warning, because they need to weed out those who aren’t serious about doing the program – they don’t want to waste your time and money just as much as you don’t, believe it or not. I’m not going to sugar coat that for you at all... I almost failed first year, but finding a good balance between school and personal activities as well as discussing concerns I had with my professors, I was able to pick my grades up and make it through to second year... and it actually got a LOT easier in second and third year, because the professors were marking us on quality as opposed to technique. Sure, I pulled my share of all nighters, but mostly because I am the WORLD’S WORST PROCRASTINATOR. 

So my tip: if you’re a procrastinator, get that shit out of your system, because spending all night painting colour-matching squares on illustration board is legit the un-funnest way to spend a Sunday night when I had all week to do it. Some people work better under pressure (I actually do, strangely enough) but if you don’t have the mental ability to handle the stress, I really, REALLY recommend you DON’T PROCRASTINATE. Keep a day planner to help you sort your work vs personal time, and you should be just fine. 

Hmm, what else? 

Don’t forgo food, for the love of god. Groceries are cheaper than eating out, so learn to cook simple things: Pasta is literally boiled water and noodles, and canned sauce. That’s literally under 10$ for a few days’ worth of food. It’s delicious and keeps you full and alert to get on with your days. 

As I said above, schools have a health centre with FULL medical services, at least in Canada. Take full advantage of their services since you’re paying for it. Get check ups, talk to nurses about your mental health, and get recommendations to local therapists if you feel you need more than what the on-campus ones can offer; recommendations with doctor’s notes gets you reduced rates for therapy, if I recall correctly (please correct me if I’m wrong, lovelies).

Most schools also have gym memberships paid-for in your tuition; ours was a branch of the YMCA good at ANY YMCA in Canada, and we could use the on-campus gym any time of the day or night. TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS. Physical activity helps promote the natural endorphins in your body which help you feel better mentally. It doesn’t have to be anything strenuous: when I first started, I just did one hour on the recliner bike every day. It made me feel better and encouraged me to try other things in the gym, like the treadmill and weights. I found out I actually like working out a few times a week. I do it for ME, not for anyone else. Don’t do it “to be thin” or whatever (that’s a WHOLE other heap of garbage I’m not getting into here). Do it because it makes your mind happy. The gym is an EXCELLENT place to sort out your thoughts and plan your week ahead. The benefit to the recliner bike is that you can have a book or something and jot notes down while getting the exercise in.

DON’T PROCRASTINATE, like I said above. 

Get a part-time job if you find yourself needing something to do with some time you have. Some schools have a student-job centre where you can work on-campus for the print centre or student union, or you can just get a 8 to 16 hours-a-week job like at a grocery store (which is what I did) which wasn’t stressful at all because it was cleaning and food prep; it will look good on your resume that you can multitask like that, having a job and school at the same time, and job skills are transferrable to school as well :) Most part-time jobs will accommodate your school schedule.

HAVE FUN. Seriously, college were the best years of my life, not because I was out drinking every weekend (I actually WASN’T), but because I gained a lot of valuable life experiences from my time away, and I made amazing friends and a lot of my favourite memories were the activities we did together. We did a lot of hiking trips together, and I loved those.

Not much else I can say, Nonny, really, other than it’s perfectly normal to be scared and worried about your future. That’s why taking some time out to sit down and make yourself a schedule will help you handle it. I believe in you and I really REALLY think you will have a great time in college. So exciting, moving onto the next chapter of your life!

Good luck, Nonny, and I love you!

#steph replies #life advice #my advice #college and uni #keep us updated lovely! #Anonymous

[purplesurveys]

422

Do you enjoy watching birth vlogs? I’ve never watched this particular kind of vlog. I’ve seen photo stories of births on Facebook though and while I find women fucking metal for going through childbirth, I’m rather squeamish and I feel like crying when I see the process :((( Would you rather paint on canvas or wood? I’d...rather not paint at all. I’m really not artistic. What regret keeps coming back to haunt you daily? I have this one class that I regret taking this semester just because there were two available sections, and I still ended up in the section with the shittier professor. It’s a pain in my ass every Wednesday and I can’t wait to give a review for this teacher. Do you miss someone? Always, but I’m on depression break at the moment and I just want to be alone for 7 days. If you could cure yourself of one allergy, what would it be? I don’t have any.

Do you know anyone else with your name? I know two people. When I was still applying for AIESEC, I was surprised that there was a sudden abundance of Robyns haha. There’s never any Robyns anywhere. Have you felt like the main character in a book was you? I’m not a big reader, so no. Which country's flag is your favorite? Nepal just because it went ‘fuck it’ on how flags traditionally should look like. What would you be most afraid of happening if you were to visit Africa? Getting arrested??? I’m down for anything but I can’t get in trouble, because I’m a big fucking baby when it comes to crime lmaooooo. Where are you tempted to move to sometimes? Canada. Have you ever hiked a mountain? Nope, but would love to someday. Who seems like they have the perfect life? People who graduate summa cum laude while juggling multiple orgs and have both a tight-knit family and a love life??? How???????? Do you ever take pictures of negative moments? I have. I still have them on my phone.  I don’t see the point of taking nor keeping them if they just make me upset every time I see them but since I have a photo hoarding problem, I can’t bring myself to get rid of them. Do you think it would be a good idea to post photos of negative moments as well as positive? It’s different for everyone. Some might want to capture their negative times to remind them that they went through it and they’re a stronger person now. Some might prefer to block negative stuff from their mind as soon as they overcome it. I’m the latter. What time zone are you in? Idk how the format is...but I use the Hong Kong one. Would you ever post a picture of yourself crying on social media? No. ^Why or why not? It’s just something that would make me feel uncomfortable. I don’t even like crying in front of people other than Gab, so even more would I not want something permanent like a photo to capture me crying. Do you like dark blue jeggings or light blue jeggings better? Light blue seems to be the trend recently. What color is the rim of your whiteboard? I don’t own one. Do you have trouble staying organized? I’m generally organized, but there are certain things that I can never seem to maintain, yes; like I can never keep my closet organized. And my school bag. What was the last thing you cried about? I had a short breakdown in the car last Friday because I had to usher for an event and run errands all day while the weather was RIDICULOUSLY humid and I could feel the sweat seeping in my pants for 8 whole hours, and then when Gabie came to visit she didn’t do the one thing I asked her to do. I exploded by the end of the day and gave myself ample time to cry. Funny how the universe works though - in the middle of my episode, the known dogs that roam in my college skipped over to my car. I had some leftover lunch so I fed them and I instantly felt better. Have you ever held a newborn baby? I have, but he started squirming and crying and I almost dropped him onto the ground. I was 9 and I was assigned to watch over the baby. I’ve never held an infant since. Do you know anyone who has twins? Yes. I was surprised to see my classmate from comm research posting photos of her and her twin on Facebook. Would you rather look older or younger than your age? Younger, and that’s how it works so I’m satisfied.  Related story: I went to get my driver’s license renewed a couple of weeks ago. The guy in charge made me fill up a bunch of forms and made me do unnecessary shit in the process (i.e. made me go ACROSS THE MALL to have my ID xeroxed) because he thought I was a student driver and that I was getting my license for the first time. I would have gotten my license SO MUCH QUICKER, but he gave me the process meant for student permits. I was annoyed, but in the end 1) he apologized profusely, and 2) I just took it to mean I look much younger than 21 which I can be happy about. Where do you buy calendars from? I don’t buy calendars because I already have one on my laptop and phone. Do you shop at the dollar store often? We don’t have dollar stores. We don’t even use dollars. What does your name rhyme with? Bitchin’. Are you following in the career path of any family members? As far as I know, no. I think I’m the first to take up journalism. My maternal grandfather’s side are all very...lawyerish and diplomat-ish though, and I guess that’s kind of related to journ and the fact that I’m taking up history, psychology, and political science courses. Have you ever met anyone who talks like a robot? THAT PROF I TALKED ABOUT A FEW QUESTIONS AGO URGH. He’s probably like 25 but I wish he would resign. He’s awful. What is your favorite country in Europe? I don’t have one. Probably one with a lot of history in it. Name something unique about your town. It has a lower and upper part, haha. I’ve never heard anyone else talk about their province and if they live in the lower/upper part of it. Who does all the chores in your home? My mom. She prefers it that way. Do you feel you missed out on a lot as a kid? I believe so. I was exposed to a lot of nasty shit, so while I was pretty privileged and went to a good school, had all the cool toys, and kept up to date with the cool TV shows, I had to grow up earlier than the kids around me. What is your best kept secret (or one big secret you have right now)? Kinda the point of having a secret. Do you have anyone you can tell your secrets to? I know I can trust my friends, but I’m generally most comfortable telling my girlfriend. ^If so, who? ^ Who was that best friend you ever had? If this question was meant to be in past tense, then it would be Sofie. I really, really hope she’s doing well and that she’s happy where she is. Do people appreciate you and accept you for who you are? I hope they do? What color is your laptop? Silver. What class would you like to repeat over again just for fun? Any art studies and history class I’ve taken. I also had this one class where all we did was have oral presentations/monologues, and it was so much fun, even for an introvert. Passed that class like a breeze. It helped that I had an amazing professor who believed in each of us and knew that we all had stories to tell and share. What are five careers you think you'd be good at? Researcher, analyst...anything that entals organization and data, really. Are you thriving in your life right now? We’re all thriving. We all just have our own paces. :) Who do you have moral support from? College friends, Angela, and Gabie. Who encourages you to go after your dreams? There’s this shirt that says “I work hard so my dog can have a better life,” and that pretty much hits the nail on the head. Do you have people in your family who want you dead? Wow. List all the antiques you have in your room. None. What Bratz doll resembles you the most? I’m not sure about resembles because I guarantee you no human being looks like a Bratz doll, but Jade had always resonated with me. She always seemed like the spunkiest one out of the four. Do you have a walk-in closet? No, I’m not really interested in one. What was the last thing you ate? Krispy Kreme doughnut with Nutella filling. What would you do to save money for your wedding? Work my ass off. I absolutely need to have my dream wedding. Have you ever been manipulated, lied to, abused, or controlled? Sure. Are you against plagiarism? ...Aren’t we all?

#survey #surveys

[dhyanposts]

How To Speak Korean Language - Korean Language For Beginners

How To Speak Korean Language

Hello Guys, Today we know how to speak Korean Language for beginners. Korean is the official language of South Korea, North Korea, and China's Yanbian Korean Autonomous Prefecture (For Speaking and Written), and it is the dominant community language of the Korean diaspora, spanning Uzbekistan to Japan to Canada. it's a desirable and sophisticated language of debated origins yet rich in history, culture, and wonder. Whether you're planning a vacation to the Korean World, trying to reconnect together with your heritage, or simply enjoy learning new languages, follow these simple steps to Know (How to speak Korean Language) speaking Korean and you will soon get on your thanks to fluency! Learn Hangeul (Korean), the Korean alphabet. The alphabet may be a good place to start out when you're learning to talk Korean, especially if you hope to reach reading and writing afterward. Korean features a fairly simple alphabet, although it's going to seem strange to most English speakers initially because it's completely different than the Roman alphabet.

How to learn Korean language

Hangeul (Korean) was created during the Joseon Dynasty in 1443. Hangeul (Korean) has 24 letters, consisting of 14 consonants and 10 vowels. However, if you include 16 diphthongs and double consonants, there are 40 letters in total. Korean also uses around 3,000 Chinese characters, or Hanja, to represent words of Chinese origin. Unlike Japanese Kanji, Korean Hanja are utilized in more limited contexts like academic writing, religious (Buddhist) texts, dictionaries, newspaper headlines, classical and pre-WWII Korean literature, and family names. In North Korea, the utilization of Hanja is nearly non-existent. Learn to count. Knowing the way to count is an important skill in any language. Counting in Korean is often tricky, as Koreans use two different sets of cardinal numbers, counting on the situation: Korean and Sino-Korean, which originated from Chinese and has a number of its characters. Use the Korean form for numbers of things (between 1 and 99) and age, e.g. 2 children, 5 bottles of beer, 27 years old. Ending consonants aren't aspirated, meaning there's no ending breath at the top of the syllable.  How To Learn Telugu – Understanding Telugu Vocabulary and Grammar What is Python? | What is Python used for | How to learn Python How To Study Faster: 50 Tricks to study Faster and More Effectively How to Play Guitar – Learn to Play Guitar How To Block Or Unblock Someone On Facebook: Android & Desktop

How To Speak Korean Alphabet

Here's the way to count to 10 within the Korean form : One = 하나 pronounced "hana" Two = 둘 pronounced "dul" Three = 셋 pronounced "set Four = 넷 pronounced "ne(t)" Five = 다섯 pronounced "da-seo(t)" Six = 여섯 pronounced "yeo-seo(t)" Seven = 일곱 pronounced "il-gob" Eight = 여덟 pronounced "yeo-deolb" Nine = 아홉 pronounced "ahob" Ten = 열 pronounced "yeol" Use the Sino-Korean form for dates, money, addresses, phone numbers, and numbers above 100.  Here's the way to count to 10 in Sino-Korean : One = 일 pronounced "il" Two = 이 pronounced "ee" Three = 삼 pronounced "sam" Four = 사 pronounced "sa" Five = 오 pronounced "oh" Six = 육 pronounced "yug" Seven = 칠 pronounced "chil" Eight = 팔 pronounced "pal" Nine = 구 pronounced "gu" Ten = 십 pronounced "sib"

Learn Basic Korean language

Memorize simple vocabulary. the broader the vocabulary you've got at your disposal, the better it's to talk a language fluently. Familiarize yourself with as many simple, everyday Korean words as possible - you will be surprised at how quickly they build up! When you hear a word in English, believe how you'd say it in Korean. If you do not know what it's, jot it down and appearance it up later. It's handy to stay a touch notebook on you in the least times for this purpose. Attach little Korean labels to items around your house, like the mirror, the cocktail table, and therefore the dish. you will see the words so often that you're going to learn them without realizing it! It is important to find out a word or phrase from ‘Korean to English’ also as ‘English to Korean.’ That way you'll remember the way to say it, not just recognize it once you hear it.

Learn To Speak Korean in 15 minutes

Learn some basic conversational phrases. By learning the fundamentals of polite conversation, you'll very quickly be ready to interact with Korean-speakers on an easy level. Try learning the words/phrases for: Hello = 안녕 pronounced "anyeong" (in an off-the-cuff way) and "anyeong-haseyo" during a formal way. Yes = 네 pronounced "ne" in any situation where you'd be speaking formally, or 응 "eung" if you're speaking with someone informally. No = 아니요 pronounced "aniyo" Thank you = 감사합니다 pronounced "gam-sa-hab-nee-da" My name is... = 저는 ___ 입니다 pronounced "joneun ___ imnida" but the sentence "내 이름은 ___ 예요" pronounced "nae ileumeun ____yeyo" also can be used. How are you? = 어떠십니까? pronounced "otto-sib-nikka" Pleased to satisfy you = 만나서 반가워요 pronounced "mannaso bangawo-yo" Goodbye when other party is staying = 안녕히 계세요 pronounced "an-nyounghi kye-sayo" Goodbye when other party or both of you're leaving = 안녕히 가세요 pronounced "an-nyounghi ga-seyo" Understand the sorts of polite speech. it's important to find out the difference between the degrees of ritual in Korean speech. Korean differs from English therein verb endings change counting on the age and rank of the person being addressed, also because the social setting. it's important to know how speech formality functions, so as to properly navigate polite speech. There are three major types within the degrees of formality: Informal - wont to address people of an equivalent age or younger, especially among close friends. Polite - wont to address people older than the speaker, a stranger, or a co-worker. it's utilized in formal social situations. Honorific - utilized in very formal settings like on the news or within the army. Rarely utilized in normal speech.

How to say I speak Korean Language

Study basic grammar. so as to talk any language correctly, it's necessary to review the grammar particular thereto language. There are several distinct differences between English grammar and Korean grammar, for example: Korean uses the topic - object - verb order, and therefore the verb always comes at the top of the sentence. In Korean, it's pretty common to omit the topic of a sentence when the topic being mentioned is understood by both the readers and therefore the speakers. the topic of the sentence could also be inferred from the context or may are mentioned in an earlier sentence. In Korean, adjectives function like verbs therein they will be altered and should combat different forms to point the tense of a sentence. Work on your pronunciation. Korean pronunciation is vastly different from English, and it takes tons of practice to be ready to pronounce words correctly.

How to learn Korean language fast

One of the main mistakes English speakers make is to assume that the pronunciation of Romanized Korean letters is just like an equivalent letter's pronunciation when speaking English. Unfortunately for language learners, this is often not the case. it's best to not learn with romanization because it slows your learning.

In English, whenever a word ends during a consonant, the speaker always makes a touch sound after saying that last letter. it's very faint and difficult to listen to for an individual with a ‘non-Korean ear’ to listen to . for instance , when an English speaker says “ship” there's a small sound of breath following the ‘p’ when their mouth opens. In Korean, they are doing not have that final ‘breath’ sound, as they only keep their mouths closed. - How To Learn Telugu – Understanding Telugu Vocabulary and Grammar - What is Python? | What is Python used for | How to learn Python - How To Study Faster: 50 Tricks to study Faster and More Effectively - How to Play Guitar – Learn to Play Guitar - How To Block Or Unblock Someone On Facebook: Android & Desktop Don't be discouraged! If you're serious about learning to talk Korean, keep at it - the satisfaction you will get from mastering a second language will far outweigh the difficulties you encounter along the way. Learning a replacement language takes time and practice, it won't happen overnight. Find a speaker: one of the simplest ways to enhance your new language skills is to practice speaking with a speaker . they're going to easily be ready to correct any grammar or pronunciation mistakes you create and may introduce you to more informal or colloquial sorts of speech that you simply won't find during a textbook. If you've got a Korean-speaker who is willing to assist , that's great! Otherwise, you'll place a billboard within the local paper or online or investigate whether there are any pre-existing Korean conversation groups within the area. If you cannot locate any Korean-speakers nearby, try finding one on Skype. they could be willing to exchange quarter-hour of Korean conversation for quarter-hour of English. Popular Korean messaging apps are an honest thanks to practice, as well, because it'll assist you to find out more slang and to read Hangul quickly.

Consider signing up for a language course. If you'd like some extra motivation or feel you would learn better during a more formal setting, try signing up for a Korean language course. Look out for language courses advertised at local colleges, schools or community centers. If you're nervous about signing up for a category by yourself, drag a lover along. you will have more fun and also someone to practice with between classes! Watch Korean films and cartoons. Get your hands on some Korean DVDs (with subtitles) or watch Korean cartoons online. this is often a simple , entertaining thanks to get a pity the sound and structure of the Korean language. If you are feeling particularly proactive, try pausing the video after an easy sentence and repeat what has just been said. this may lend your Korean accent an air of authenticity! If you cannot find any Korean films to shop for , try renting them from a movie rental store, which frequently have foreign language sections. Alternatively, see if your local library has any Korean films or ask if they might be ready to source some for you. Find apps designed for Korean children. Translate "learn the alphabet" or "games for babies and/or children" into Korean then cut and paste the Hangeul (Korean) Korean results into the app store search bar. The apps are simple enough for a toddler to use; so, you do not got to read or speak Korean to work the app. it's also less costly than buying DVDs. The apps teach the proper thanks to write Korean letters; and, most have song and dance routines; also, there are puzzles and games to find out common everyday Korean vocabulary. take care to not buy an app that's for Korean children to solely learn English. Listen to Korean music and radio. taking note of Korean music and/or radio is another great way to surround yourself within the language. albeit you cannot understand everything, attempt to detect keywords to assist you get the gist of what is being said. Korean pop is sang primarily in Korean, but some English words are sprinkled in too. Fans will often write out English translations, so you'll understand the message of the song. Get a Korean radio app on your phone, so you'll listen on the go. Try downloading Korean podcasts to concentrate to while exercising or doing housework. Consider taking a visit to South Korea . Once you are feeling comfortable with the fundamentals of Korean speech, consider taking a visit to Korea. What better thanks to immerse yourself within the Korean language than a journey to its native land!

How to Speak the Korean Language for Beginners

For complete beginners, learning the way to read and speak Korean fluently can't only be a challenge, it also can be quite intimidating. With a totally different alphabet, orthography, grammar, and pronunciation from English, Korean requires you to really learn the language from the bottom up.  However, as long as you're ready to develop a solid foundation for future training so as to repeatedly repose on what you've learned, you will be surprised to seek out that you simply too, can learn Korean much faster and more effectively than you thought.  With our new video, Glossika Intro Series - Learn the fundamentals of Korean, on the Glossika YouTube channel, you'll build a robust foundation that will assist you learn to read and speak Korean with far more ease as we walk you thru the steps for breaking through your learning plateau.  Despite having received an enormous amount of foreign influence from China since past , and more recently the us , Korea has impressively preserved much of its unique culture and identity to the present day. On your next trip to Korea, you'll definitely want to form sure you visit a number of the temples, museums, towers, islands, palaces, amusements parks, villages, markets, department shops , shopping malls, and more so as to experience the brilliance of Korean scenery, tourist attractions, and culture fully. The appeal of Korea's unique culture has gained momentum in many various countries everywhere on the planet. This phenomenon has been coined Hallyu (한류) or the Korean Wave. Read the full article

#EssentialKoreanPhrases #HowtolearnKoreanlanguage #HowtolearnKoreanlanguagefast #HowtosayIspeakKoreanLanguage #HowToSpeakKoreanAlphabet #HowToSpeakKoreanLanguage #HowtoSpeaktheKoreanLanguage forBeginners #IntroducingtheKoreanLanguage #KoreanWords #LearnBasicKoreanlanguage #LearnToSpeakKoreanin15minutes #OverviewoftheKoreanAlphabet

[ekmekandwater-blog]

Thirty Eight Years and Still Going

38 years ago today I made a decision that would forever impact my life.  Here’s the story:

I thought I'd take this time to re-post my own story of how I decided to follow Jesus. In other words, How did a guy like me end up writing a blog like this?

I was raised in a non-religious Jewish home.  I emphasize the term “non-religious” because I don’t want you to get the wrong impression.  No side curls, no Hebrew classes, just an occasional Yiddish phrase and matzo ball soup.  I had no idea about any of the reasons for some of the holidays we celebrated.  I thought Passover was a food holiday – “Pass over the matzos please.   Pass over the bitter herbs!”  Seriously, I had no idea.  I just knew we didn’t believe in Jesus because I asked my mom several times after watching Davy and Goliath or something like that.

The God issue wasn’t something that we discussed much, but I had thought about it some.  I remember early on thinking it was kinda silly to believe in God.  I understood later, that people believed in God, as I saw it, to help them cope with life and mortality or hardships or whatever.  I didn’t really have a problem with people doing this if it helped them cope.  When I got older though, I met people who didn’t just casually believe in a divine coping mechanism (the invisible friend for grownups) but who were making life choices as a result of this belief.  These people were choosing to not do some of the things that I was doing – they were choosing not to have the kind of fun that (it seemed to me) high school kids ought to have because of this concept of God.  That seemed ludicrous to me.  It seemed to me that Christians were being stupid about this and so I saw it as my duty to let them know.

I was that guy in high school – the outspoken skeptic.  I wouldn’t have called myself an atheist because I thought to speak authoritatively that there is no God seemed equally foolish.  My argument was that it was impossible to know.

During my senior year in high school, my buddy Chet and I applied to work at The Happiest Place on Earth, Disneyland.  We got accepted and shortly after my 18th birthday, we began to work in “Outdoor Vending.”  My job title was a “culinary host” which meant that I sold ice-cream, popcorn and balloons.

On day 2 of my employment, I was assigned a trainer for the day to learn the art and science of ice-cream sales.  It’s a complicated science that requires 8 hours together with a trainer.  You take the order, take the money, open the lid, pull out the desired frozen treat and smile.  It’s very complex. So the trainer assigned to me for the day was a young woman named Cynthia.  Cynthia had a personality as big as life.  She laughed loud, smiled big and just seemed to get a lot out of life.  It turns out, and I found out quickly, that she was also one of those enthusiastic, life changed, born again Christians – but like I said, she had a pretty engaging personality and we became friends in spite of her deep convictions.

So during that summer if she was working at a nearby popcorn or ice cream wagon, and I was on a break, I would stop by to visit.  And every single time, I kid you not, she would start to tell me something about the God she believed in.  She would have Bible verses on 3X5 cards that she was using to actually memorize portions of the Bible!  And she would show me what was on her card and say something like, “Mike, look at this.  Look at how much God loves you.  Isn’t that amazing?”  And I would respond with something like, “That’s great for you, but it’s not my thing.”  Undaunted, we would have a similar conversation the next time we met.

I think it was her consistency of her life and message (and for those of you wondering, no, I wasn’t really interested in dating her or anything) and she seemed so earnestly convinced of this God stuff that I started to re-visit the whole God question in my head.  Is there a God? If there is a God, is he somebody I need to worry about?  Does it ultimately make a difference?  Who could I ask about this?  Who’s been talking to me non-stop about God since the day I met her?

So I was working on Main St. at popcorn wagon #2 and I decided to send a note to Cynthia to come and chat with me when she got a chance.  As a sidelight and a bit of Disney trivia, when popcorn venders want to communicate with each other in those days, we of course couldn’t leave our wagons.  We were stuck in one place and so we would use the sweepers.  They were mobile and they were the pony express of the Disney world.  So Cynthia got my note and came out at the end of her shift and I told her what I had been thinking about.

Literally, just at that moment, a sweeper came by.  “Hey Joe,” Cynthia called, and Joe came sweeping over, “You still have that Gospel of John on you?”  Joe said, “Sure,” pulled a gospel of John out of his breast pocket and handed it to me.  Cynthia said, “Mike, if you want to know about God, the best person to ask is God.  Say, ‘Lord I want to know you and I want to know more about you.’  And then sit down and read this Gospel of John.”

I said, “okay” and I took that book home and I probably prayed that prayer 100 times (by the way, had I known I was praying, I probably wouldn’t have done it).  And the more I prayed, the more I thought, “Yeah, God, if you are real, I want to know you.”  So finally, I sat down on our couch in the living room and read the book from cover to cover.

Now I’d heard about Jesus before this time, mainly as something you yell when you’re really frustrated, but I’d never really known any of the story.  This was my first encounter with him and I have to tell you, he impressed me.  There was something to this guy - something, dare I say…spiritual?  Something was happening to me as I read it – for the first time in my life, I began to believe in God.  I still wasn’t sure what to do with Jesus and how he fit into it all.  There was a verse in John 14:6 where Jesus claimed to be the only way to God and I remember thinking that was a pretty narrow statement and it excluded my people – even though I wasn’t an observant Jew, that seemed like a big hurdle.

But I went off to Whittier College as a freshman and I started to enter into the God discussion as a participant rather than an antagonist.  This was a new experience.  I remember being surprised at how many people believed in God as I met Catholics, Protestants, Muslims, Mormons and every Joe blow with their own homespun theology.  And as I compared notes, I realized all of their theologies had complexity to them.  All of their gods had personality and ideas and history and values and the God I believed in was empty and void – he needed help and so I enhanced him.  I began to construct God out of the conversations I’d been having.  A little of this, a dab of that and voila I had my god.  By the end of the school year, he had become more complex and I was proud of him.

On June 15 of that year, I stepped into The Raven bookshop in La Canada and ran into one of my Christian friends from high school who I used to pick on.  I said, “Hey Denise, how’re you doing?”  “Praise the Lord,” she replied, “I’m just serving Jesus…” and blahbity blahbity blah about Jesus and I replied, “I have my beliefs.”  “Really,” she exclaimed, “I’d love to hear them.”  And so in the next 30 seconds, I unpacked all of my complex theology (I remember thinking, “Is that all?” I guess I hadn’t developed my theology as much as I had thought) and Denise shook her head and cleared her throat and said, “we need to talk.”

So there we were right in the middle of the bookstore, talking about God,  “In our culture, Mike,” she continued, “Wouldn’t you agree that if we’re talking about God, then more often than not, we’re probably talking about the God of the Bible.”  I thought about it – if there wasn’t a Bible we probably wouldn’t know much about God and so I replied, “sure.”  She said then, “It seems to me that if we’re claiming to believe in the God of the Bible, we should believe what the Bible says about the God of the Bible.”  I agreed.

There is a verse in the New Testament book of Romans – Romans 10:9,10 which says, “If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that He is risen from the dead, you will be saved.”  Denise explained to me a lot about the God of the Bible.  She answered a lot of my objections and I knew that I needed to quit avoiding the inevitable and I needed to start following the God that Denise followed whatever that meant.  And I really had no idea what that meant.  But I also knew that I didn’t want to be a freak and so I was going to keep that decision to myself.  I wasn’t going to confess that with my mouth before anyone.

As it turns out, God knew what I was thinking.  And so just a few hours later, that same evening, I was working at Disneyland.  I wasn’t actually working in the park itself but rather was blowing up balloons for the evening in the balloon room.  I was only able to interact with guests in the park for 15 minutes when I was giving a balloon vender a break.  So there I was, standing with a bunch of Mickey Mouse balloons under the people mover when this guy walked up to me.  I had never seen him before and I have never seen him since.  But he walked up to me and said, “Excuse me.  I’d like to know if you’ve accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior.”

I thought for a moment and replied, “Yes, as a matter of fact I have.”  He said, “okay,” and took off into the crowd (and who knows? Back to heaven?).  That was that.  I went back to the balloon room where a # of my Christian friends were working and I told them what happened, that this weird guy came up to me and…They got very excited and word got out among the believers in outdoor vending and we started a Bible study with the sweepers and the vendors.  And I got a good strong start to my Christian life.

That God was in such obvious pursuit of me is something that still moves me.  And the events of June 15 following my freshman year in college 30+ years ago still wow me.  But that was just the beginning.  More stories to come soon.  I’d love to hear yours!

[hopemckinney-blog]

photo by Alex Schonauer

Picture a circle of houses, smack dab in the middle of suburban Connecticut. It’s July and the air is heavy. The pavement is so warm there’s no other choice but to race to the grass, bare feet padding across the neighborhood field. You rub Gatorade remnants off your mouth with the back of your hand like a beer-bellied man who just rewarded himself after work with a fresh Corona. Stop. Look around. The whiz of bikes alerts your attention to a tanned kid frantically waving and summoning you to his yard for a neighborhood meeting. The most important news of the day is freeze tag once the sun sets. These are your days. The idea of a device you can hold in one hand with an unlimited amount of information is entirely foreign. A device that slowly gnaws on your self-esteem, absorbs your attention for hours, but can teach you a seemingly infinite amount of information seems impossible. This was my childhood since my birth in April 1995. It changed around 2007 when computers and cell phones seemed to add extra limbs on the bodies within the American population. A peak millennial experience.

           The Pew Research Center establishes millennials as the generation from 1981 to 1996, ages 23 to 38. Baby boomers are from 1946 to 1964, ages 55 to 73. There’s a swirl of generalizations given to both generations. The recent viral trend of the phrase “OK, boomer” kicked off with 25-year-old New Zealand lawmaker Chlöe Swarbrick, who was speaking in support of a climate crisis bill in November of this year. In the viral video, an older member of Parliament can be heard heckling her. Swarbrick looks up, quickly responds, “OK, boomer,” and continues with her speech as if nothing happened. A New York Times article called this quick-witted phrase “a rallying cry for millions of fed up kids.” It seems to have finally put a label on the increasingly clear divide between older and younger generations.  

           A myriad of TED Talks have analyzed this generational disconnect, and they tend to begin by looking at the stereotypes. Boomers are the generation characterized by hard work. They’re the architects, according to Dr. Mary Donohue, a published writer who advocates revolutionizing today’s workforce through enhanced communication. They’re obsessed with working, competing and focusing on fact and logic more than anything else. Millennials are the adapt, adopt and improve generation. According to Leah Georges, a published researcher examining the multigenerational workforce, we’re the “everybody gets a ribbon” generation who thinks they’re going to change the world. We tend to be fueled by feelings and desire immediate action.

           If you head to Google and type in “Millennials are,” some of the top searches are poor, lonely, soft, snowflakes, “the therapy generation” and helpless. “Baby boomers are” entitled, “the problem,” terrible, and rude. These generations have been riddled with stereotypes, smacked with labels and assumptions before a conversation can even be had. The individual has almost entirely been erased and silenced. So, let’s go back to 1945.

           Joe Alaimo, 74, was born alongside two sisters in Enfield, Connecticut, to first-generation Italian parents. He walked up to me with his hand outstretched and a set of kind eyes that could put anyone at ease. I found out his childhood was strikingly similar to mine – jumping on bikes with a crowd of friends and spending hours outside without a worry in the world. “My dad worked a lot and he had his own meat market so he put a lot of hours outside of the home,” he said. “So, my mom did most of the raising of us.”

           He went to Central Connecticut State University for a teaching degree after he graduated in 1964. For one year, the cost was a measly $1,000, a foreign concept for millennials today. He was able to work on a tobacco farm and earn enough money to pay for college himself. Two months after he started teaching in 1968, he was drafted to the Vietnam War – a foreign concept for millennials as well. “I didn’t wanna go,” he said. “I was ready to go to Canada. I didn’t believe in it. It’s not because of a fear of anything, I just didn’t believe in the purpose of that conflict.” Until 1974, he worked with a combat engineer company and was a training, non-commission officer, setting up classrooms for lieutenants. He ended up receiving a staff sergeant rank, and they wanted him to stay and make a career of his role. “I said thank you, but no,” he gently laughed. “It was fun, though. At least it kept me out of Vietnam.”

           Joe married his first wife in 1968 at 24 years old. This is the marriage his daughter, Jennifer, was born from. They weren’t married long and he ended up becoming, in his words, Mr. Mom. “The only thing I couldn’t do was comb her hair,” he said with a smile and a slight shake of his head. “I couldn’t do a straight part. She had long hair and that was the style. I just couldn’t, in the morning, get that thing going.”

A year after he split up with his first wife, she decided she wanted custody of Jennifer. This seemed to be the main source of distress in his life. “It was a whole year of constant concern that something was going to happen.” The judge ended up ruling that Jennifer should stay with him.

           Joe did his graduate study in Spanish literature and noted that, had he been alone, he would’ve gone to Spain or some other place. “But I didn’t, because I chose to be with Jennifer,” he said. “I didn’t want to give up my daughter.” In 1981, he closed on a house for him and Jennifer. “I had an attorney and the real estate agent, but every signature was my signature,” he said, and then paused. “I’m pretty easygoing, but I’ll tell you, Hope, at the end, I was shot. I was mentally shot. I couldn’t remember my name, again, because all the decisions were on me. It was very stressful.”        

           I asked him whether or not he struggled with his mental health. “For the most part, I didn’t,” he said slowly. “Although, I did when Jennifer’s mom and I broke up. I saw a psychologist, a counselor-type, just to keep a perspective. And he helped. You always wonder, what could I have done and, uh… so, I don’t know. That’s part of mental health. If you break your arm, you go to the doctor, right? I’m a firm believer in getting help.”

I was surprised but I tried not to show it. I would be lying if I said I didn’t place judgments on the older generation in terms of therapy. I asked whether or not therapy was looked down upon when he was younger. “Oh, yeah,” he said with a furrowed brow. “You’d get your brain drained and all of that. Electric shock. It wasn’t the thing to do. Like with my dad, he wasn’t one to talk about feelings. You just keep them in, get an ulcer and smoke and drink a little bit. I didn’t follow in that suit.”

           I asked how comfort came about for him. “Well, I did a lot of reading,” he said. “Going through the garbage of a divorce, fear that my daughter was going to be taken away. I think part of my character is I’m a sensitive guy. I can’t give a speech sometimes without bringing a tear to my eye.”

           As a teacher for 51 years, Joe has worked, and continues to work, with both older and younger generations. He brought up a time when he used to teach and a large group of students would meet in an auditorium to listen to a speaker who was older and has been in the field for years. He said there would be a clear lack of respect due to technological devices. “When these devices,” gently tapping my phone, “and these devices,” gently tapping my computer, “came in, people felt they needed to spend more time on them rather than listening to you. I don’t know if that was my old age, but it was more my feeling that we have a responsibility here. I’m being responsible and I don’t see you as being responsible. Make a choice.”

           He met his wife, Lynn, and got married in 1986. They had their son, Daniel, who is now 30. “My son’s a millennial, and he works his butt off,” he said, “He also knows how to relax. The millennials I’ve met in my student program… some drag their feet and others ask questions because they want to be on top of their game.”

           While Chlöe Swarbrick has become a representation of millennials, it feels like President Donald Trump has become representative of the baby boomers. I asked him if he had any thoughts on Trump, and I carefully watched his face. He sat back and momentarily paused. “I can’t believe he still has people that follow him,” he said, distressed. “Talk about rude, arrogant and racist. He’s just awful for this country. It’s scary how the rest of the world is viewing us because of him.”

           Joe breaks a lot of common stereotypes about boomers, and this showed me the importance of recognizing the individual. I decided to turn to none other than Instagram and ask millennials for their thoughts on certain topics. About 100 people responded to each question. Fifty-four percent would rather live in a society with advanced technology than no technology at all. Eighty-one percent want to get married at some point. Seventy-one percent want children at some point. Sixty-nine percent consider baby boomers ignorant. Eighty-four percent said social media affects their mental health negatively. Seventy-six percent said finding a job or career affects their mental health negatively. Eighty-seven percent said money is on their mind a lot. Seventy-three percent have deleted their social media at some point to better their mental health.

I turned to statistics to get a logical point of view. According to the Pew Research Center, millennial women are more likely to participate in the nation’s workforce than prior generations.  The median net worth of households headed by millennials was about $12,500 in 2016, compared with $20,700 for households headed by boomers the same age in 1983. Millennials also have the most outstanding student debt compared with earlier generations. Student debt doubled from 1998 to 2016. So, it’s a statistical fact that, financially, millennials are in a horrible situation. Even Joe admitted that the stress of money is always there and always has been there. I turned to a millennial in my life to understand their mindset outside of my own personal experience.

I grew up next door to Hayley Richards, who would remain my best friend to this day. She’s 24 and I’ve never met anyone quite like her. When we were young, she had hair filled with dark curls and static all the way down her back. She had a freckled face and was always on a mission to create something. Both of us were, and remain, artists at heart. We would spend hours playing, no matter the season. As we got older, we had more in common than I think we knew. High school had separated us and, though we remained friends, she went through some heavy things that I didn’t recognize until I sat down with her.

Her long hair has been chopped since senior year of high school. Less makeup, more freckles. She has an androgynous look, which is drastically different from before. But it fits her with ease. She just spent the last hour showing me all of the art she’s been making when she isn’t working at her job in New York City. Pads of paper lay across the table in her childhood home, and we sit across from each other like we time traveled back to being 8 years old.

I asked her what she thinks about our generation being labelled as sensitive. “I would say we’re more emotionally intelligent than older generations,” she said. “Or more in tune with our emotions, which may come across to older generations as being sensitive. They were always taught to keep their problems to themselves, don’t show any weaknesses, and I think that causes a lot of problems in itself and may most definitely have trickled down to the reason why people think we’re sensitive.”

Her father’s father was both physically and verbally abusive; an alcoholic who didn’t show any emotion. She thinks that trickled down to how her father treated her and her three siblings. He worked a lot and didn’t say I love you often. She recognizes it was likely because of the way his father had treated him. Her parents raised her in a religious household following the United Church of Christ, alongside incredibly traditional, heteronormative views.

When we were sophomores in high school, she came out as gay to her mom who had asked her what her sexuality was. “I think for me it was so overwhelmingly something I couldn’t deny that I had to accept it otherwise I was gonna go crazy,” she said, looking down. “I felt a lot of shame.I struggled a lot with –  especially the way I was raised religiously – with my spirituality and feeling like who I was was wrong and seeking ways to change that which obviously is not possible.”

“I remember she told my dad and he came into my bathroom that night and he peeked in and looked at me in the mirror,” she said, lowering her voice, “My baby girl.’ And I was like I’m still your baby girl, I’m still your daughter. I didn’t understand the sadness in his facial expression.”

Although her parents accepted her being gay, she has struggled with her gender identity since leaving for college years ago. Attempting to have that discussion with her parents is almost impossible.

“I feel like I’m constantly teaching them things, which isn’t a bad thing. If someone’s gotta do it, I will. At the same time, they don’t put in any effort to research on their own or look things up and make sure that they’re doing things the right way, so it feels a lot like I can’t be myself because I have to teach them who I am.”

Amidst all of this, Hayley also realized she has borderline personality disorder. Before she made this realization, she would smoke and drink constantly in college, attempting to numb the pain. It wasn’t until this past year that she made significant strides with her mental health. “Seeing a therapist helped hugely,” she emphasized. “Just being able to talk about it is one of the biggest things that’s helped because when you keep it all inside, there’s nowhere for it go and there’s no way for you to understand it.”

She’s been working since she was 15 years old. She’s been a student bank teller, a waitress, a bartender, a shuttle driver, a camp counselor, a music tutor, an executive assistant, and now she works with animals. She graduated Wagner College with a major in music composition and a minor in psychology, but only one of her jobs has been related to her major. “That ties into my lack of sense of purpose,” she said. “If I feel good in a job and I think about moving up, then I’m plagued with anxiety and not being able to fulfill the needs of that job. Then, before I know it, I’m at another job, like oh, let’s try this. Ever since graduating college, I’ve been thinking about what I’m going to do with my life in case music doesn’t work out.”

She has plans to go back to school in two years and dreads the thought of finding a way to pay for it. She’s currently working paycheck to paycheck and has no idea how she’s supposed to save money while trying to survive on her own financially. “I live in one of the most expensive cities and I work on minimum wage, so money… I would be lying if I said I didn’t think about money every day,” she said.

I sat down with my mom to get her take on being a baby boomer. She’s 55. In 1979, her parents divorced, which was not a common experience during the boomer generation as it is for millennials. She graduated from nursing school and got pregnant with my older sister in 1986, by a man who was not my father. He told her to get an abortion. “I cried all the way to the appointment,” she said. “Just sobbing. I was raised Catholic, which was part of it, but I also just wanted to be a mom. Plus, there was that stigma of getting pregnant and not being married.”

She married my father in 1988, who ended up paying off her student loans; a “whopping” $9,000. I asked her what she thinks she would have done if she hadn’t got pregnant and married so early. “My friend Terry and I were going to go become travel nurses or nurses on a cruise ship,” she said. “Travel nursing seemed appealing to me because I wanted to go to different parts of the country. I think my life would’ve taken a totally different trajectory. I would’ve liked to go to California, I think.”

“I think I would want to experience some self-discovery before I have a kid,” I said. She paused. “Yeah, that’s something no one said in my time – self-discovery,” she stated, gently. “I think a lot of boomers needto do that, though. Like, later in life you realize you’re not happy and you have to go to therapy and figure out what the problem is. Like, why am I struggling? Because you’re looking for your identity.”

While talking with her, I reflected on how many conversations I have had with friends and how many thoughts I have on my own about finding purpose and existentialism as a whole. This seems to be consistently absent from the experience of baby boomers, at least when they were our age. “Me and my friends in nursing, you get confronted with a lot of life and death issues,” my mom said. “Maybe we were existential and we didn’t think about what that was. I think when you help someone to die, it makes you feel existential without putting a label on it.”

Maybe millennials feel so existential because they grew up in a time with so much rapid change. We remember a time when technology was only a small part of life. While we were going through our formative years, smartphones were placed in our hands and social media began to take over and shift the world in a way that no one thought was possible. Instant gratification has been ingrained in our brains so we have become impatient for more, but I don’t necessarily believe that’s a bad thing.

As for boomers, they taught younger generations the importance of hard work. I don’t feel that quality has been lost on us. What has been lost is taking the time to listen and learn from each other. A dialogue needs to be opened intergenerationally. Rather than following the sentiments of our current president, we should follow the trails that have been blazed by the generations before us that worked hard to be treated equally, allowing millennials to have a wider range of choices for what we want to do with our lives. Every generation has people who are power hungry, lazy and disrespectful. Every generation also has people who are empathetic and attempting to change the world for the better. It has to be each individual’s decision to listen to each other and learn these lessons.

[makingnewmistakes]

State of Mind Update 3/28/2017

So it’s been a while since I’ve done an original post, and even longer since I’ve tried to work out my emotions (directly) on the page, but I have had a rough time emotion-wise the past few days, so I think it would be helpful to at least try. Feel free to skip this post; totally understandable if you don’t want to get tangled up in the emotional goings-on inside my head. I’m doing it mostly for myself.

TEAL DEER CROSSING

So for the past few months, really, I’ve been getting closer to running out of money in the bank. I quit my job last January, and since I don’t spend a whole lot of money on anything besides bills, I’ve been able to live off what I saved up over the course of 3 and a half years at my last job for the past year or so. I took the year to invest time in my music career--namely, making Stepping Stones--and I set myself a monetary lower limit of “hey, if your bank account gets this low and it doesn’t look like the music stuff is pulling in enough cash, you should probably start looking for a day job.”

Well, I hit that limit back in January, and that was when I seriously started considering my options when it comes to jobs. And that’s about all I’ve done on the job front: consider. I haven’t made any inquiries, I haven’t updated my résumé, and I haven’t taken any concrete steps toward finding a day job.

Despite the lack of income, I feel like I’m in a really good place with my music career. I just started playing keys for a band that’s touring throughout the northeast (including Canada) over the course of April, we finally settled on a band name for the band I put together to play my original material, that band just had its first “official” performance at my favorite local songwriting series, and I started teaching music lessons. Granted, I still only have one student, even after making the more public announcement on social media that I’m offering lessons, but it’s still better than nothing.

(I’m hoping I’ll make SOMETHING from the tour dates coming up, but even if I don’t, I genuinely believe the touring experience is invaluable, considering it’s what I want to do with my own band in the future.)

I have enough money saved to last me through at least April & May, but not having a consistent form of income is really beginning to weigh on me. More than that, though, my self-worth has been circling the drain on a variety of fronts. On an intellectual level, I understand that it all goes back to the fact that I’m worried about running out of money, and I understand that it’s okay and LOGICAL to be worried about that. Here’s how my brain is taking that stress and running with it, though:

I frequently perceive my lack of effort toward finding a “regular” job as a sign of some sort of disgusting, deeply-ingrained artistic elitism--“Oh, I shouldn’t settle for some ‘lesser’ job, I’m an artiste.”

Which doesn’t ring true to me or my beliefs, but I sometimes wonder if that’s how others perceive me, when I say I’ve just been doing the music stuff. Which is also bullshit to be worried about, because none of these people know what my circumstances are, and those that do have not shown any signs of thinking I think I’m elitist.

I see the other musicians in the music scene here and frequently feel incredibly inferior to them on a basic level of ability. So many of them are college-trained concert musicians, or started studying music & practicing & performing long before I did, and I feel like there’s no chance I’ll catch up. And my stressed-out brain extrapolates upon this, telling me, “Well, maybe if you were better at your instrument, you’d be more successful, people would be more interested in playing in your band or giving you shows, and you’d actually be in a more REALISTIC place of being able to live off your music career right now.”

Which is bullshit, because I felt musically inferior when I was making a living wage and in a moderately successful band, and nobody (that I know of) judged me on my ability (or lack thereof) to play scales & arpeggios like a concert pianist. Eventually, I got to a point where I realized, “Hey, if the other people in this band are happy with my level of ability, then maybe I don’t need to stress so much about not being virtuoso-level.”

Not only that, but ALL of those musicians I’m envious of--yes, ALL of them--have jobs outside their music career to help support it. (Although that sends me down the “elitist” spiral again--“What, you think you’re above getting a ‘regular’ job? All of the ‘successful’ local musicians you know are doing something in addition to it. Who do you think you are?”)

I’m worried that I started too late in this music scene. So many of the people that are having success have been a part of it for so long already, and while I’ve made connections and developed relationships with people, they’re all already involved with so many other projects. The people who might be available to join my own project, I’m probably not as familiar with, and so it’ll take longer to see if they’re the right fit, and there again, the time lock of my money running out makes me start to feel desperate/panicky about finding the right people ASAP. And then I get stressed out about feeling desperate/panicky, since that won’t create the right environment for developing relationships and making people feel comfortable, and it becomes another stress spiral that feeds itself.

The longer I go without trying to find a day job, the more I seem to develop a mental block against it, and the more reasons my brain comes up with not to even check places I might enjoy working to see if they’re hiring. Some of them are rational, and some of them are not:

There’s a part of me that worries if I get comfortable in a day job, I’ll lose the motivation to push myself when it comes to my music career, and I’ll end up just leveling out or petering out entirely.

There’s another part that worries about if I get involved with a job that taxes me as much as my last job did toward the end, so I end up in the same unhealthy state of being financially secure but emotionally desperate because I’m putting more time and effort into the thing that’s just supposed to support the thing I really care about. Part of the stress there, too, was that my work was really starting to suffer, and so I was stressed out about losing the job because of lack of ability there. And then I stress out again over leaving the job, because hell, who can really turn their back on a steady income except elitist artists with pipe dreams of having a super-successful music career they can live off of?

Part of me wonders how much of this mental block comes from just a lack of experience in the workforce. I’ve had 3 paying “day jobs” in my life. One was working maintenance, which left me feeling miserable due to the long hours and the monotony of the work. One was working the coffeehouse on my college campus, which was fun and honestly a gratifying experience, but I also perceive as being in a basically safe environment, so I can’t imagine any coffeehouse/food service job I get outside of that being quite as fun or fulfilling. And the last was my last job, which I knew from day one wasn’t ideal, but it didn’t turn into a problem until those last few months when they started piling on the work, expecting me to “rise to the challenge,” I suppose, and denying my requests for more help when I clearly wasn’t rising to the challenge.

(I wasn’t looking for advancement or the potential for growth! I just wanted a paycheck I could live off, which I had! Then they had to come in with “trying to build our customer base” and “grow the company,” and I knew, I was like, “That’s great for you guys, but this is going to be terrible for me, isn’t it?” And it was.)

And then there’s the whole ADD thing. The consistent factor in the jobs I had the most trouble with was the time commitment--I had such a hard time focusing for even just a few hours on a single tasks, let alone an entire work day, and that’s part of what led to my exhaustion. At the same time, even after reading up more on ADD and learning about the way the ADD brain works, I still struggle figuring out how to manage it, and I’m constantly struggling to figure out “Okay, is this my ADD, or do I just want to blame this on my ADD because it’s easier to do that than take responsibility for my actions?” So I’m trying to think of what jobs offer shorter hours to accommodate the ADD and flexible scheduling to accommodate the music, and I’m not convinced that finding a job like that isn’t a pipe dream as well.

But I wouldn’t know, because I WON’T DO THE FUCKING RESEARCH, for some irrational reason.

(Ease off, Ian.)

And I’ve never taken medication for my ADD, so part of me thinks I should at least TRY something to see if it’s helpful, but at this point, the money factor comes into play again.

So this is a snapshot of a lot of what’s been going through my brain the past few days/weeks. If nothing else, this has at least been helpful in terms of attempting to bring organization to the chaos in my head.

#personal #emotions #stress #anxiety #what even is life #job search #work #teal deer #tl;dr #tl;dr warning

[wztd]

Hey again, everyone!I am back again with a (even more) full-blown compilation of everything I have found to make money online. I am sure there are some people that just sighed and asked "Why are you posting this AGAIN?!" Well, I am sure there are some people that haven't seen it. Apologies if you have. You can also check out my post on using apps to save money and earn cash back. Plus, I am still including the free e-book link if you want to see more (like passive earning, saving money with apps, teaching Chinese kids English, and a lot more). This is an all-inclusive write-up compiling all of my past posts on how I am making upwards of $1,000 a month through pretty simple online work. I figured with the holidays coming up, we could all use the extra cash.Because this is (in most cases) not intended to be a primary source of income, I won't pretend you can survive with only this. This is a way to supplement what you already have. There is no way to know what you will make any given month, so do not count on it. My worst month I only made around $500 and my best I made over $2,000.As I have stated in my other posts, this is not a definitive list of everything a person can do online by any means. Do your own research on the subs I list, use Google, ask other people, and find what works for you. What I talk about works well for me, my family, and my schedule. Below I will include time requirements to make this money, provide a quick recap of the revenue streams that I have found to work, and provide payment proof for what I can.I personally invest anywhere from 20 to 30 hours a week doing these sites, on top of my day job. Some days I will make $20 all day, and others I will make over $200. I prefer this, as opposed to a second job, because I can pay partial attention to a laptop and 'clock-out' when I want to focus on family or Netflix. This works better for my temperament and preferences.The book:As stated, I put all of this info into an e-book, plus a TON of other stuff that was either written by me, or compiled from others (with their permission). I am attaching a paid and free link. If you're interested in paying for it (much appreciated if you do!), it can be found here for under $1. Free version is here.Tech required:A working laptop, a cellphone (in some cases), an internet connection, and a fairly good amount of patience to learn. If you are in a position where these tools are not available, you can also do many of these from a library.These are combined numbers over the last year. Anyway, on to the revenue streams. There are some refs, clearly labeled, as well as non-ref links:Active earningRespondent.io ref ($4,800): Studies - Most countries - This site allows users to screen for online or in-person surveys and focus groups. The pay is amazing, easily averaging $125 per test. I only average getting approved for the groups about 10% of the time (I have filled out about 400 screeners and have been selected for 40 studies). Thankfully, each screener only takes me a few minutes to fill out. I have made up to $200 with one hour of work doing an in person focus group. Most focus groups are done through webcam, so you don't even have to leave your house. They payout via PayPal 7 days after the activity is complete. Non-refSwagBucks ref ($225) Surveys – Majority of countries– This is more of a catch-all for stuff to do when you want to make and save money. You can do surveys, play games, and watch videos to earn points. You can also get cash back from using SB to visit and buy from different stores. You get paid in points which can be used to purchase gift cards or sent directly to PayPal. Each point is the equivalent of $0.01. Usually, SB will have deals where you can get certain gift cards for less. For example, a $20 Amazon gift card for 1800 SB points. The payout can be slow, but if you don’t mind running ads in the background, using a plug-in to save money while you shop, or killing time playing a game, SwagBucks can be a great way to earn $20 a month. Non-refProlific.ac ref ($1,575): Surveys - Most coutries - Based in the UK, this is one of my favorites because they pay in Great British Pound (GBP) which is the equivalent to 1.25x USD. Prolific is similar to mturk in that all you do is fill out surveys. Pay is better than mturk, but the availability of surveys is not as great. The initial questionnaire you have to fill out is a bit long taking me about 20 minutes, but ensures you qualify for every survey they show you and will never get disqualified for not meeting the demographic. You have to hit £5 before you can cash out, but you get this after a few days of watching for surveys. Leave it open in a tab and check it throughout the day. I wish I could do this one all day. They pay out in PayPal anytime you request it and have a balance of over £5. Non-refMturk ($3,142): Small tasks and surveys - US mainly. Confirmed also in Canada, Europe, & Aus. - This is by far the one I spent the most time on and has been the best earner. This site lets humans perform small tasks that robots still cannot do well. It is owned by Amazon. Downside is there are slim pickings on weekends and when colleges are out on vacation. I typically stick to surveys, but once in a while do batch jobs which there are more of. You have to wait a week for your first payout, which will go to an Amazon payment account. You can the get payouts one time per day after that. Approval for mturk can sometimes be a pain in the ass, almost impossible if you are not from the US, but is definitely worth it in my opinion if you can get approved.Secret shopper app ref ($485): In-person store evaluation - US only - This link will take you directly to a sign-up page with my ref code. Feel free to delete it before signing up, if you want. You will be taken to the app store where you can download the actual app on your phone. Essentially, you go to stores near you that are identified in the app and take pictures or videos of specific items. I like this one because I have the ability to make a few extra bucks if I am already out shopping. The pay for this one averages about $15/hr. Non-refUsertesting ($800): Website evaluation - US & maybe select others - This site allows you to review new websites and apps. The pay is usually $10 per recorded test lasting 10-15 minutes. Sometimes the pay is more, but never less. I average a few tests a week. Some weeks I will get a dozen tests, other weeks nothing. This one is great to practice your feedback skills, which open up a lot of other doors. Pay is through PayPal, one week (to the minute) after the test is complete.Redbubble ($305): T-shirt creation - Worldwide - After getting rejected by merch by Amazon, I came here. You design and publish t-shirts, phone cases, and about 20 other mixed products, with each sell netting you a few bucks. They are based in Australia, and do pay-outs once a month on the 15th via PayPal. You do all of the uploading and just wait for people to find it with keywords or searches. Great if you are artistic or know how to use any creative software. 25% off ref code for first order over $40. You save $10 or more, and I get a $10 credit if you use this code.Ebay ($190): Selling goods - Worldwide - Not much explanation needed here. You buy stuff in-person low, and sell online high. Here is a $1 beginner's guide dedicated to flipping (also mine).PlaytestCloud ($190): Video game testing - Many countries - This is just simple game testing. It is super fun, very quick, and you get to test new games before anyone else. They send you tests for different listed devices, you download the game file, and they record your screen and voice. The only issue I have with this one is that you are only able to test 3-4 games per month, at $9-$11 each. Paid almost immediately after each test via PayPal. This one has been pretty dead recently.UsabilityHub ($15): App testing - Many countries - This one lets the user take quick one or two minute surveys on your opinion of an app screen. They pay for this averages to about $.10 a minute, so it is nothing spectacular. Just leave it open in another tab and take a quick survey when you hear a new one come available.UserInterviews ($50): Studies - US & maybe select others - Similar to Respondent, but with less approval when filling out the demographics for each study.Making money with RedditReddit subs($2,300): It is super simple to use Reddit as more than a social media tool or news website. Knowing the right subs to subscribe to, and what to look for, can help you make a few extra hundred bucks a month. There are a ton that you can find small or medium jobs on, but I am only going to outline the top four that have worked for me./r/slavelabour: This sub is normally dedicated to doing cheap jobs for people, at cheap rates. I have both had things done for me here, as well as completed a lot of tasks. It may seem daunting at first, with people offering $2 to write an essay (seriously though.. no homework here), but there are gems to be found. Two of my best jobs have been creating meal plans for $60, and finding the name of a book for $80./r/WorkOnline: A gold mine of information on different websites to check out, gift card survey opportunities, and other generally helpful tips. I have never made money directly from there, but have gotten tools that have helped make at least a thousand over the last year./r/signupsforpay: Since slave labour does not allow paying people to sign up for websites, this is where to go to make a few bucks with signups. From connecting your gas and electric information, to signing up with Acorns, I have probably made a grand total of $100 here. Nothing overly special, but $100 is $100./r/giftcardexchange: This is one of my favorites, because you can buy and sell all of those gift cards you have/want. Have a $20 gift card from a family member that you will never use? Sell it here for 80-90%. Want to buy Amazon gift cards for less than face value? Get 'em here. I do a lot of buying on Amazon, so this sub has easily saved me hundreds over the course of using it. Caution: Trade carefully.More passive earning techniques from a comment on one of my old write-upsSwagbucks: Pick up one of the $30 Amazon fire tablet and throw a custom rom and rooted it. Any android device (not your daily phone) will work. Only 4 of the 6 apps are on iOS. Swagbucks Watch, EntertaiNow, Lifestylz.tv, MovieCli.Ps, Indymusic.tv, Sportly.tv (run in that order).You use to be able to farm these apps but now only run a certain amount of time with the possibility of bonuses. Just let them run while at home and switch to each app when they are done collecting points. If your device is rooted, you also want to install Beer Money Assist which can import the shortest running video clips for efficiency. There's also the Swag IQ app that is a direct copy of Trivia IQ. You can play for a few extra points.I never do any of the surveys or craves on the main website. If I'm close but haven't meet my daily goal through the apps (which can be collected at months end), I may answer the daily poll, play swagasarous or search if I'm close. Also if the apps are being fickle, I don't even bother and just wait until the next day (not worth the stress).Microsoft Rewards: It usually takes me about 5 minutes a day to play through Microsoft Rewards. The trick is using a desktop with ten keys keypad. For the daily search rewards, I open up Bing and search 'Boston Celtics schedule 2018'. Double click, it highlights 2018, change to 2017 then Enter. Repeat for 2016, 2015, 2014, etc. to 1970. For mobile search, search any large city and continue to select what it auto selects.Checkpoints: Technically, you could use it to farm for points but I don't. It's installed on my main phone so whenever I go grocery shopping, it will usually pop up with bonus points. I'll also scan barcodes for extra points. I use to get weirded out but now I don't give a shit. I can get browse my store and scan very quickly and be done. It may be against their TOS but my local supermarket is close to a Walmart (which generally has more products to scan). While at my supermarket, I 'check' into Walmart and find their products.Pinecone Research (May be a waiting list): This is the exception to the no survey rule. This company partners with legitimate vendors for surveys. You'll get an email when you fit a survey's demographic (99.5% you will qualify for the sent survey). I always take time out of my day to do the surveys. Generally, the take between 5 and 15 minutes but a couple of completed surveys can net enough points for a $5 Amazon gift card. Plus, since I 'always like to try new products', I've actually got free quality products to try (last one was Gatorade).Receipt Pal (May be a waiting list): This is one of my favorite apps. You scan any receipt in the app then send. After a certain number of receipts (I think 16), you can receive a $1 Amazon gift card. TBF I may scan those extra receipts folks leave at the self-checkout. What I also like is you have a digital copy in case you need to return an item or enter into your budgeting software. Some folks recommend Receipt Hog but it only gives you points for certain receipts.Cross Media Panel (May be a waiting list): This is a Google company. Basically it's a chrome extension for your mobile device (no longer includes desktop browser) that anonymously tracks you browsing habits. Some folks may not be comfortable with that, but for me, they probably already doing it so might as well get paid. This is a completely passive app so I generally can get $5 per month not doing anything. Speaking of Google...Google Opinion Rewards: This app will show quick surveys (1 to 6 questions on average) based on where you gone shopping (hint: surveys usually don't show up unless you venture to stores). The surveys can vary from .10 cents to a few dollars. The points are only good for the Play store (not amazon) but you can get your favorite song, rent a movie, support pro editions of your favorite apps. Pro Tip: Never lie on the surveys. Generally, the first question is a trick one so answer honestly or you won't ever get surveys in the future. Even if it doesn't apply, you always get .10 cents for your time.Lucktastic: This is a scratch card app. I only open it once daily for the return bonus points. Side note, it takes frickin' forever to get enough points to cash out. Once I get enough for the $50 gift card, it will be deleted off my phone never to return. Pro tip on any app or program. Always cash out at the very minimum (wither its a $1 or $5). There usually no financial advantage to saving for larger amounts and a big disadvantage if the company decides you randomly violated the rules and suspends your account (happens several times at /r/beermoney).Fin'I know this is a lot of info and most of it is repetitive from my last post, but I wanted to provide as much info as possible for the compiled post. Well, I hope it helps! Feel free to reach out if you have any questions about pretty much anything. I am always happy to help.Also, thank you to everyone that signed up to the 10th annual Secret Santa this year. There were a lot of cool gifts, and a lot of giving. I hope one of you reading this got my gift :) via /r/WorkOnline

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