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deadcactuswalking · 2 months

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 06/04/2024 (Beyoncé's COWBOY CARTER)

Welp, as one would expect, she gets the double, the #1 album with COWBOY CARTER and “TEXAS HOLD ‘EM” is back up top. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

As always, we shall start with our notable dropouts - songs exiting the UK Top 75, which is what I cover, after five weeks in the chart or a peak in the top 40 - and this week, we bid adieu to some big deals: “FRI(END)S” by V (more BTS on the way), “BURN” by Hitler and Goebbels, “Coal” by Dylan Gossett, “Grey” by Yung Filly, “Selfish” by Justin Timberlake, “redrum” by 21 Savage, “Nothing Matters” by The Last Dinner Party, “Strangers” by Kenya Grace and finally, “Escapism.” by RAYE featuring 070 Shake.

As for our returns, we see “Flowers” by Miley Cyrus and “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi back to bottom-dwell at #75 and #74, alongside “vampire” by Olivia Rodrigo at #71, “Everywhere” by Fleetwood Mac, they’re basically all in the same boat. Notable gains on the other hand… we see boosts for “Anti-Hero” by Taylor Swift at #67, “if u think i’m pretty” by Artemas at #52, “FE!N” by Travis Scott featuring Playboi Carti at #50, “Never be Lonely” by Jax Jones and Zoe Wees at #41, sigh, “Been Like This” by Meghan Trainor and T-Pain at #40, SIGH, “Evergreen” by Richy Mitch & the Coal Miners at #38, “Slow it Down” by Benson Boone at #27 (likely even further next week thanks to the album), “Happier” by The Blessed Madonna and Clementine Douglas at #26, “Back on 74” by Jungle at #25 (what a great new run this is having), “Belong Together” by Mark Ambor at #22, and finally, Artemas gets his first top 10 with “i like the way you kiss me”. I mean, at least it’s interesting.

Now our top five should look pretty familiar: “we can’t be friends (wait for your love)” by Ariana Grande at #5, “Too Sweet” by Hozier at #4, “Lose Control” by Teddy Swims at #2 and of course Bey knocks Benjamin Boonerang off the #1 to #2 with “Beautiful Things”. Now to talk about - let’s be real - Beyoncé and some minor cameos.

New Entries

#64 - “NEURON” - j-hope, Gaeko and YOON MIRAE

Produced by Pdogg

So, j-hope of BTS released an album - or it seems more like a mixtape - that landed at #38 on the albums chart thanks to the classic BTS sales. Whilst there doesn’t appear to be a clear single on the project, especially considering j-hope was always more of a rapper in the group, but this got the video treatment and is very much what I expect from j-hope, at least from the very little I’ve heard of his solo work. It’s got a set of blissful pads against a vocoder sample and surprisingly heavy-hitting boom bap drums, as well as sing-songy rap flows in a nasal, almost J. Cole-like delivery that could be about love but keep it vaguer in the verse, it might be more conscious and spiritual, especially considering the focus on neuron activation. Gaeko is a lot more explicitly introspective, looking back on his life and how he’s not as aggressive as he used to be in his youth, finding more solace in playing ball with his son that “embracing the bomb” - some of the Genius translation could miss out some detail or context here. Now YOON MIRAE, a female rapper, really brings the heat here, as the intensity of the pianos ramp up, the beat gets a tad more minimal and she raps bilingually in a deeper yell than either of the guys here can cough up. She speaks somewhat generically of the rap game and motivation to grind, but her riffing on the final chorus is what convinces me, as well as her acknowledging that she’s granted the beat drop in the song, it shows an awareness of the structure of the song and not just being a guest rap verse, it’s clever and interesting, really puts the verse into perspective. So I ended up really liking this - it’s a bit fluffy, as K-pop often is, but it’s got grit and meaning to it this time around, and with the variety in flows, focused content, I can dig this.

#62 - “Jump” - Tyla, Gunna and Skillibeng

Produced by Sammy Sosa

I quite liked Tyla’s self-titled debut, currently at #33 on the albums chart. The South African singer brings a reassuring, youthful joy to detailed production and it’s all a light, feathery bliss that’s just a delight to sit through, even if the record is clearly not for sitting. I have a full first-impressions review on my RateYourMusic listening log (the account is exclusivelytopostown) if you want more thoughts on that, but my favourite moments on the album are when guest features with a little more smolder are brought in to balance the sweetness, like with Tems on “No. 1” and with Gunna and Jamaican deejay Skillibeng on this track, “Jump”, which has a subtle sprinkling of Afrobeats guitars and keys over the very unsubtle rhythm section, a great deep bass and busy drums that can counter the choir vocals in the verses as well as Tyla belting a tad on the chorus. There’s little substance to it - it’s just about being hot and having fun, with a hilariously repetitive post-chorus, but both Tyla and Gunna shout out her native Johannesburg and if you were expecting anything of further depth, you’re just listening to the wrong album. This is a lot of fun and I hope it catches on.

#61 - “I LUV IT” - Camila Cabello featuring Playboi Carti

Produced by El Guincho and Jasper Harris

Sometimes I wish this show was a video series. For this entry, I would probably just point and laugh at the calculated attempt to be interesting, for a demographic I’m a part of, and failing so catacylismically that no-one is buying it or bothering to listen more than once. I don’t mean to be harsh, and I’m not blaming the artists, more so the label and marketing teams: when releasing a pop single, you first have to consider - who is this for? Who can you appeal to and how? Here, Camila has her own fanbase already, so she’s going to try and appeal to them, naturally. Also, it has a very edgy, cinematic video for fans of say, The Weeknd or people who watch Euphoria. Sure, okay, that could work. Oh, and the song sounds like Charli XCX - though she recruited ROSALÍA’s producer - so she’s trying to appeal to her hyperpop crowd, that’s fine, you’re stretching yourself a bit thin there though, it could be a bit too camp for the edgy crowd if you do that, and a bit too dark for the hyperpop crowd if you get Playboi Carti on board, because I guess she needs a rap crossover audience… or at least an experimental rap crossover audience in this case. At least she’s not using a nostalgia-bait sample of a Gucci Mane song from… oh, she’s using a nostalgia-bait sample of a Gucci Mane song from 2009. Okay, so I guess the target demographic is everyone now, but hyperpop fans like authenticity, and this clearly doesn’t have it. Carti fans hate women, Camila’s own fans, if her old comments are anything to go by, hate… “rappers”, let’s say that. And really, what person who would be nostalgic for Gucci’s “Lemonade” - never charted here, by the way - would even be keeping an eye out for Camila Cabello? This is just a travesty of a lead single… and the song’s brilliant, all of that context just makes what the eventual end product is completely hilarious.

I’ve always been an advocate for mess in pop music - not necessarily the discourse, but the music itself and the rollout surrounding it - because it is exciting and part of the reason I do this show. There are more fascinating stories to be told with music when it reaches a mass audience, it’s just natural, and that’s especially interesting when the song is a Goddamn trainwreck that’s catchy as sin and does everything wrong. There are rage synths that don’t last the entire measure for no reason - and they don’t try and hide it - whilst the synths on the chorus play the role of a theremin. Cabello not being able to sing all that well means that her playing staccato, hyperpop robo-girl over a pretty rote Jersey club groove actually goes really well for her, even if she inexplicably decorates the song in breathy ad-libs as if she herself was Playboi Carti. Speaking of ad-libs, they leave in Gucci’s original “brr”s in the chorus, seemingly out of either laziness or refusal to re-record the choir hook, and given both hooks are just mantras, there are basically two choruses instead of an active chorus/post-chorus dynamic, especially since there is no considerable change sonically or tonally between the two. This lack of structure culminates in a “bridge” that is JUST multi-tracked ad-libs, and features Cabello saying “slow down, baby”… the tempo remains the same entirely and the drums don’t go into half-time like they probably should for a Playboi Carti feature. He goes for his deep, richer voice and the song just kind of… ends with his verse? Barely catching up to the beat, Carti rambles as usual, even less coherent in his mumbling than usual, and eventually, Cabello tries to insert herself into his orbit, it’s so painful. It’s telling that when I search for this song on Spotify, the artists recommended to me are Carti, Charli and then Ken Carson and Lancey Foux. Camila herself is nowhere to be seen in that list of artists and whether that’s because there’s none of her personality in this song or she didn’t have any to begin with is a question for another day. For now, this is garbage. I love it.

#60 - “Outside of Love” - Becky Hill

Produced by PARISI

Now Becky Hill kind of has something to prove to me now, she’s been on increasingly better production that fits the places she wants to go with her voice a lot more as of recent and it’s been pretty promising. Also promising are PARISI, a duo who I mostly connect with Fred again.. but have also worked extensively with Ed Sheeran, and particularly on some of his most interestingly layered songs vocally like “Afterglow” and “Visiting Hours” which may be a coincidence but had me really excited for what the boys could do with Ms. Hill. Turns out it probably was a coincidence, the vocal mixing is kind of mediocre actually, they don’t really contain her belting very well, not that it really needs containing given this is fully in festival mode. Everytrinkling synth pad, house kick, it feels like it’s a constant light fluttering under Hill’s desperate attempt to jigsaw this relationship back together. I know it’s an EDM-pop track so the lyrics are little to write home about but it should still be said that the description of herself as on the “outside of love” is interesting imagery, it makes me wonder what could be done with that concept by a more poetic writer who has a bit more time and, let’s be real, a fitting sonic palette for that kind of lyricism. Whilst this hasn’t immediately clicked with me as much as the past two, I feel I’ll appreciate this one for just being a maximalist bop with terribly-mixed gospel-like vocals on the final drop, it goes for an onslaught of everything in a very admirable way. It’s cute, it reminds me of when 2000s Eurodance hits would go way harder than they needed to simply to raise the dramatic stakes. So yeah, another Becky Hill song I like. World’s crumbling.

#9 - “II MOST WANTED” - Beyoncé and Miley Cyrus

Produced by Beyoncé, Shawn Everett, Michael Pollack, Miley Cyrus and Jonathan Rado

So, there’s a Beyoncé album, I think? It’s got a country and western tinge to it. Heard it’s long, heard it’s pretty good. Haven’t heard it. I probably will not listen to it and I’m not saying that to be “cool” or contrarian because if I were, I’d have listened to it and pretended to hate it. Realistically, I don’t have a dog in the Beyoncé does country argument. I’m not a country fan, or a country hater, I’m not a big Beyoncé fan, or Azealia Banks, so I have nothing valuable to contribute to the discourse as well as no reason to hear a damn near feature-length record. When Beyoncé did house, firstly, she did it well, and secondly, I’m a fan of house music! I know more about it than other genres, I’m quite educated in certain subgenres and I recognised a few of the samples and cultural references she was lifting from on RENAISSANCE. I feel like most of them may be lost on me or not fully resonate when discussing her pivot to country music, and I wish that wasn’t the case. Part of me just wants to say that I listen to Weezer and future bass so leave me alone. Thankfully, the British public has given me the easiest plate of two tracks from this album: a Dolly Parton cover and a mid Miley duet. It’s about being a ride-or-die, it’s got soaring guitars and both ladies have an audible rasp and grit to their voices, even if Miley ends up like a backing vocalist at times to Bey. They’re trading lyrics or in harmony nearly all the time, and Miley plays it a lot calmer than Bey, naturally, who probably wants and needs to prove herself in country pop more than the seasoned player. Hell, I actually think their chemistry here is awkward and not accentuated by the vague western-soundfont lyrics that don’t play into any notable angle, and in the bridge, just kind of give up on themselves. It’s a bit disappointing, to say the least.

#8 - “JOLENE” - Beyoncé

Produced by Beyoncé, Khirye Tyler, Jack Ro and NOVA WAV

Dolly Parton’s iconic 1973 jam “Jolene”, begging desperately for this beautiful woman not to cheat on her husband, is pretty undeniable, right? Well, I’ve never really liked it, sorry to say. My taste in country is pretty horrific, I’ll be the first to admit, but I’ve always found the instrumentation underwhelming and going for sinister when Dolly is selling it with a long of strength and desperacy, like she’s at her last tether. The sapphic elements are compelling of course, but they collapse in the third verse, then it fades out having sonically done nothing much at all. There’s always been something breezy about it to me that I never really understood, and that’s no disrespect to Dolly, she’s easily my favourite part. Regardless, this is one of those times where I have to give a chart history, so flashback to 1976, when “Jolene” first lands on the UK charts and peaks at #7, when “Combine Harvester” by the Wurzels was #1. I know that one because of my dad, if you haven’t heard that song… you know what, don’t.

“Jolene” was Dolly’s first top 10 over here and ended up re-entering a few times in the 2010s. Before that came many re-imaginings. First, in 1985, we had Glasgow’s Strawberry Switchblade cover the song, in a weird mix of new wave, freestyle and western elements that really show what performative country aesthetics can be, because this has more to do with darkwave than anything from the Deep South. It peaked at #53 and it is terrible. The 2000s is where the covers really ramped up, firstly in 2000 with the #100-peaking cover by London alt-rock outfit Queenadreena. Seemingly not on streaming, it came with their original, “Pretty Polly”, and fully goes into the dark cabaret aesthetic, especially in that... choice of a music video. I think I might prefer it to the original, it makes Jolene sound like an evil woman who I would like to step on me. We also saw a #99 peak for a song in 2007 by folk singer Ray LaMontagne also coincidentally called “Jolene” - it’s not a cover, but it’s a pretty great, tragic narrative ballad if you’re interested. Good accidental discovery to make. My favourite cover of “Jolene”, however, and the only version to get close to Dolly’s original peak until Queen Bey was the version recorded by the garage rock duo, The White Stripes, specifically a 2004 live version that peaked at #16. Now, am I biased because I love Jack White? Yes. Yes, I am, and so does Beyoncé, so shush. Everyone and their mother has covered Dolly, but out of all “Jolene” renditions I’ve heard, Jack just sounds the most devastated, and the eventual crash into distorted, hapless guitars and Meg White’s ugly-ass snares after that rushed, chaotic percussion panned exclusively to the left throughout, is incredibly cathartic. And that’s just the studio version - the live version that charted is even more dire and Jack is downright pathetic on it, worsened by the audience wooing, cheering and clapping on occasion, it eggs on Jolene in a way and publicises his angst “Jolene - Live Under Blackpool Lights” might honestly be one of the greatest cover songs of all time.

So how does Beyoncé fare? Well, she changes a lot of the lyrics to act more as a warning to people attempting to take JAY-Z instead of desperately begging Jolene not to get with JAY-Z, mostly because I don’t think Beyoncé could easily sell being helpless, especially in the context of her husband - we all heard Lemonade. I’m not sure how effectively you can sell the warning shot either considering, well, there was a Becky with some good hair who did all of this a few years ago. Sonically, I’m not head over heels for what sounds like a pretty rote rendition, even if Beyoncé’s vocals and some of the lyrics add a lot of character that simply isn’t in the instrumental. The backing vocal repeating “Jolene” at sporadic intervals, I can’t figure out exactly who it is, probably The-Dream, but he reminds me of Wyclef Jean on “Hips Don’t Lie”. That’s my intellectual observation. I just used a review of a song from the biggest black female country album ever to talk about a guy whose last name is literally White. When she releases a pop punk album, I’ll be more in tune, but for now, leave it to Azealia Banks and Spectrum Pulse, I’m sure if you combined the two, you’d create Frankenstein’s cultural critic.

Conclusion

Fascinatingly enough, this was a great week outside of Beyoncé, who takes away Worst of the Week for “II MOST WANTED” with Miley Cyrus and the Dishonourable Mention for her cover of “JOLENE”. Neither song are terrible, but I think I established in both reviews that my general disinterest for the album doesn’t entirely cover a lot of the flaws I believe are present in these tracks, I’m sorry. Again, I like Beyoncé, just not these particular records. As for the best… oh, God, it’s Camila Cabello’s “I LUV IT” featuring Playboi Carti, isn’t it? Honourable Mention goes to Tyla, Gunna and Skillibeng for “Jump” but I think I’ll have to spend a few days in rehab recovering from picking the other song as my Best of the Week. As for what’s on the horizon, more insufferable discourse as J. Cole drops a surprise diss record. Other than that, Charli XCX links with Gesaffelstein, Benson links with Boone and there’s new tracks from Bryson Tiller, Ava Max and the Imagine Dragons. All of it could chart, none of it could chart, we’ll see. For now, however, thank you for reading, long live Cola Boyy, and I’ll see you next week!

#uk singles chart #pop music #song review #beyonce #cowboy carter #miley cyrus #dolly parton #white stripes #becky hill #camila cabello #playboi carti #tyla #gunna #skillibeng #j-hope #gaeko #yoon mirae

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foxx-queen · 2 years

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it honestly sucks that the things that would make an avvar inquisitor so good are probably also the things that stopped them from considering an avvar origin

the avvar are basically completely outside chantry influence. theres no negative reactions to being a mage, a dwarf, an elf or a qunari. we know they have a close relationship with the dwarves, that they treat magic with respect and without fear, and that their founder had an elven lover. thane svarah sun-hair mentions that their people have had few dealings with qunari, but that it's nice to not have to look down when they talk. so if an avvar became inquisitor, the whole 'choose between templars or mages' just... wouldn't be a thing? imo, an avvar would look at the breach and be like oh yeah we clearly need mages. people would warn them about magic being dangerous because mages can't be trusted and they'd be like um?? we trust our mages and it's fine?? we literally practice spirit possession for our mages so they can be taught etc and it's?? fine?? we talk to spirits on the regular? what do you mean mages can't be trusted? the advisors would be like oh we need influence to talk to the mages and meanwhile the avvar inquisitor has gone straight to redcliffe to talk to fiona about the breach and how um yeah ur right that mages shouldn't be locked up ur chantry is whack. if they weren't let in they climbed the walls.

they go to val royeaux to talk to the chantry begrudgingly because they don't like the chantry and that revered mother is all the maker would send no barbarian in our hour of need!! and the avvar inquisitor is all?? I mean I don't believe in ur maker but wasn't ur prophet u know. a barbarian? queue outraged french gasps. cassandra slightly disapproves. seras cackling on a balcony.

the avvar inquisitor doesn't want to be called the herald, and gets their beliefs disrespected a lot, but is also probably happy with their role because they're healing the tears in the sky, and thus helping the lady of the skies. there'd be an actual connection for them outside andraste, who despite not accepting as their prophet, they probably have some respect for. the avvar are pretty outspoken about their gods and beliefs from the few interactions we've had with them (probably because they're not oppressed under the chantry) so maybe they're more insistent on being called something to do with the lady of the skies. like the lady's herald or something.

interactions with companions would also be very different. solas tries to do his whole I saw it in the fade thing and the avvar inquisitor, especially if they're a mage, starts to get really suspicious because of their understanding of spirits etc. they love talking to iron bull because he's one of the few non chantry companions and their neck doesn't get sore talking to him. sera reacts to a female avvar the same way she does with a female qunari. they can help sera understand that spirits and magic aren't all demons and things to be scared of, and as a consequence her crisis of faith after the temple of mythal goes very differently. dorian and vivienne are at first both kind of wary of the way an avvar inquisitor talks about magic, but if they become friends they both begin to understand that there are ways of being taught how to resist demons. this is especially impactful for vivienne, who grew up in the circle being told she was a ticking time bomb, and if an avvar inquisitor is friends with her there's the chance to teach her their ways. they're much less weirded out by cole, and since they're so familiar with spirits, maybe they work out he's not simply a spirit earlier on. they probably get close with varric quickly because of the avvars close relationship with dwarves, and they're the one to tell varric stories. blackwall is really interested in hearing about their culture and they sit together around the fire and whittle little animals together. they probably struggle the most with cassandra honestly just because of how pro chantry she is, and after learning about how seekers become seekers they probably call her out on how hypocritical it is of her to be critical of the way their mages are taught by spirits when she herself was possessed by one. they probably start looking into a tranquil cure much earlier, because of their understanding of spirits and possession.

also a lot of avvar seem to have animal companions. I'm just saying an avvar inquisitor could have a pet.

#avvar #dragon age inquisition #dai meta #dragon age #the inquisitor #jaws of hakkon #this kind off track nsskks but like my point is that an avvar inquisitor wouldve reacted to things in a very different #which alas is probs why we didnt get to play as one #aside from u know #bioware being cowards

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ninjas-go-round · 2 years

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Hi! This is just a little bit late, but here is my contribution to the @ninjago-valentine-exchange! I was Polyninja A!

I apologize for any weird formatting errors/spelling/grammar. I wanted to get this out since it’s already a little late lol. I will go back an fix those things, as well as post to AO3 tomorrow :)

AO3 link here

Title: Reunions

Word Count: 4012

Warnings: none.

Summery: Ever since Wu had gone missing, the ninja had been nothing but go-go-go. For months, they had been separated, sent across missions to all the far flung corners of ninjago. After such a long time, Cole is looking forward for a chance to take a break and have some much deserved time with his partners.

“Cole. Cole. Cooooole! Hurry UP!” Jay hops impatiently from one foot to the other. “We’re gonna be late!!”

“I’m coming, I’m coming. Chill out man it’s not like they’re gonna leave if we don’t get there right on time.”

“Okay yeah maybe but I don’t want to be late. It's been so long. We need to get moving.”

“Okay okay, I get it but we’re not gonna be late okay? Promise. We’re already running ahead of schedule,”

“Cole,” Jay gives him a pointed look. There is a frustration in his tone that Cole is all too familiar with. They often clashed about timeliness, and it seems his nonchalant attitude about the situation was once again starting to stress his partner out.

Since the last thing Cole wants is for Jay to start stressing, he relents and picks up the pace a little. Jay was right about one thing at least. It would suck to lose out on even a single moment of time. There already wasn’t enough of it to go around. Besides, he himself had been looking forward to this for a very long time. It was worth getting there a few extra minutes early for once.

In the end they reach their destination a good hour before their planned meeting time. Which would have been fine, if it weren't for the fact they could not check into their hotel because Zane had forgotten to add either of their names to the reservation. Even Jay pulling the ‘we’re famous’ card was not enough. The desk clerk was polite but firm in telling them that just because they were famous, didn’t mean they could break policy. If they wanted, they could either rent a separate room. Otherwise they would have to wait for Zane to arrive.

“What are we supposed to do now?” Cole groans, sinking into one of the hotel lobby’s many couches. Jay joins him, phone already in hand.

“Give me a minute, I’m gonna see where they’re at,” He mutters, typing furiously. A moment later Cole’s phone pings. He pulls it out to see Jay has sent a message to the group chat.

Zaptrap: we are here, hotel staff hates us :( cant check in till u get here

Frosty: Why do the staff hate you? Did something happen?

MountainMan: jay is overexaggerating they dont hate us

u didn’t put either of us on the res

so we cant get in unless ur here or we get another room

Zaptrap: eta? we dont have any money for another room

MasterofFIYA: Bro what the hell did you spend all your money on

Zaptrap: irrelevant

just tell us when ur gonna get here

Frosty: We are a couple hours out still. Kai had a late morning. I apologize for the delay. I will call the hotel and see if I can get it fixed. If not I will send you enough to cover a second room. Please be more responsible with your money, though.

MountainMan: k thanks

you're the best <3

cant promise about the money as long as Jay is here tho

Zaptrap: :( not fair it’s not my fault you read the train schedule wrong and we had to spend all our money on last minute tickets (thanks zane, love you! you're a savior)

Frosty: You’re welcome.

MountainMan: we would have had enough

if u hadn’t bought those action figures

Zaptrap: they were limited edition!

and for the record I blame this room situation on Kai. If u had gotten up on time then this wouldn't be a problem cause you'd be here already

MasterofFIYA: HEY I am innocent! I’m on leave I deserve the chance to sleep in

MountainMan: Jay is just sad cause he misses you

MasterofFIYA: awww babe I miss you too

If you missed me that much why didn’t you just say so?

Zaptrap: COLE HOW DARE YOU OUT ME LIKE THAT

It's true tho I miss you both so hurry up

I don’t want to wait any longer

Frosty: We will do our best to get there quickly.

MountainMan: sounds good

love you all, see you soon

MasterofFIYA: <3

Zaptrap: <3

Frosty: <3

It’s only a few minutes before the chat pings again, this time Zane informs them that they should just go ahead and get their own room, and that he would transfer them the money. Cole lets out a little sigh of relief. Praise Zane and his patience for putting up with them.

————————————————————————————

“Room, check!” Jay drops his bag on the floor, flopping heavily across the bed of their newly acquired room. “So what now? Watch bad hotel tv until they get here?”

“Well if that’s what you want to do, be my guest. I think I’m gonna check out the town.” Cole muses, setting his own bag aside. “I'm too ansty right now to just sit around and wait for them.”

“Hmm okay. Give me a chance to shower and I’ll come with you.”

“Sure thing babe. I was thinking I needed to change and get cleaned up a little before heading back out anyways,”

“Thanks,” Jay smiles. He pulls Cole down to give him a peck on the lips before he stands back up. “I shouldn’t be long,”

The two of them separate to begin sorting themselves out. Jay collects his bag and disappears into the bathroom. Cole starts working to remove his shoes. Once free of those, he swaps his gi for a more casual hoodie and jeans. Next comes his hair. He pulls it out of the bun he’d pulled it into earlier. Most of the time it stays pulled back, away from where it could pose a problem for his visibility or where an enemy might be able to use it to their advantage. Today he didn’t see that being much of a concern so he elects to leave it down.

Satisfied, Cole returns to his previous spot on the bed to wait for Jay. The blue ninja was true to his word and it's only a few minutes before he steps out of the bathroom, dressed and ready to go.

“Ready?” He asks. Cole nods in return. Together, they make their way down to the main lobby and out onto the street. It’s there that Jay decides to link their hands together, leading them away towards the town center.

For a supposedly small town in the middle of nowhere, Cole noted that things seemed surprisingly lively. Merchant booths strung with brightly colored flags line the streets, selling what looks to be just about everything under the sun. There are all sorts of delicious smells wafting through the air, enticing him to stop and look for the source. Music can be heard coming from what he assumes is the town square, which evidently seems to be where most of the people here are headed.

It’s a completely unexpected, but not entirely unwelcome change of pace.

The two of them spend a good chunk of time just wandering, checking out the various shops and booths. He finds that there isn’t anything in particular that catches his interest, so Cole is content to let Jay lead the way.

“Oooh Cole, do you think Kai and Zane will want to play festival games with us?” Jay asks sometime later. He gestures to a row of booths containing carnival games. “That could be fun. Oh! Maybe we should go over there now and win some prizes for them! As a little ‘We missed you’ gift.”

“The sentiment is nice, but you do know those things are totally rigged, right?”

“They aren't when I’m playing them,”

“What is that even supposed to mean you bolthead?”

“I dunno, it sounded cool and mysterious,”

“That’s the dumbest thing I have ever heard,”

“Rude!” Jay gasps. “Bet you won’t be saying that when I win all the cool prizes and don’t give any to you,”

“Somehow I don’t think I’ll be missing out on much. Like I said, they’re totally rigged,”

“Are not! I’ll prove it. You pick whichever game you want and I’ll win. If I win, then you do all my chores for a week. If I lose, then…I don’t know yet but I’ll think of something.”

“Wow, such a motivating offer,” Cole snorts. Too bad they didn’t have time for that. “As much as I love proving you wrong, I think I’m gonna pass this round.”

“Aw you’re no fun. It’s only going to take a minute! Come on,” Jay gives him a hopeful puppy dog look. If this were any ordinary outing, he would not have been able to resist it. But today wasn’t any ordinary outing.

“Later, Bluebird. Did you forget-Gagh!” He is interrupted by a sudden and unexpected weight on his back. Instinctually, he reaches back to grab at what (or who) was attacking him. His hand lands on an arm and with one swift move he flips the would-be assailant over his shoulder. They land on the ground with a heavy thud. Once Cole can see who it is, it takes less than a second to realize his mistake.

“Kai, oh my god! I’m so sorry, you startled me! Are you okay?” Cole scrambles to help Kai to his feet while Jay laughs hysterically in the background.

“Urrrgh, not cool man.” Kai groans, rubbing his back. “That hurt. But I’ll live. Some way to greet the boyfriend you haven't seen in three months,”

“Dude! You just tried to sneak up on a Ninja!” Jay wheezed. “What did you think was gonna happen?”

“Can’t I have a cute surprise reunion with my partners?” Kai crosses his arms defensively.

“No,” Cole and Jay say simultaneously.

“I told you that was a bad plan,” A cool voice sounds from somewhere behind them. “You should be well aware of Cole’s combat reflexes at this point. His reaction should not come as a surprise.”

All three of them turn their attention to the source, and Cole is delighted to see a tall, dark figure making his way towards them.

“ZANE!” Jay starts towards him and then pauses, waiting for the subtle nod of permission. Once it is given, he launches himself excitedly towards the nindroid.

“Jay! It is good to see you!” Zane catches him with outstretched arms, spinning the two of them in a circle. The instant his feet are back on the ground, Jay pulls Zane down into a sweet kiss.

“That is disgustingly adorable,” Kai huffs. “Also totally unfair. Where’s my kiss?”

“Oh, is someone feeling left out?” Cole teases. “Why don’t you c’mere and I’ll fix that for you?”

“I can’t possibly refuse an offer like that, now can I? Even if you did just toss me onto the ground.”

“Hey! That was an accident, and arguably, entirely your fault.”

“It still hurt! Maybe if you kiss it better..."

“If you insist,”

Cole takes Kai’s hand, bringing it up so that he can press a soft kiss to the inside of his wrist. He moves in to press another to his jaw, then his cheek. Kai’s eyes are wide when Cole pulls back a little. It’s far from the first time they’ve done this, but that doesn’t stop the blush forming across Kai’s face or the racing of his own heart. There is a moment's pause, and then Kai is bridging the gap between them.

His lips are softer than usual, but just as warm and just as addicting as Cole remembered them. For once, Kai does not try to take control. (Which is fine by him. There would be plenty of time for that later.) Instead he melts into the bigger ninja’s embrace, humming contentedly.

A string of silent ‘I love you’s’ and ‘I miss you’s’ pass between them. The two of them have long since moved past the need to say such things out loud. He can feel it in the way Kai’s arms wind around his neck, warm and gentle but desperate all the same. He knows Kai can feel it in the way his entire body relaxes, relishing in the warmth the other provides.

“Better?” Cole murmurs, pressing their foreheads together.

“Much,” Kai grins.

“Good to hear,” He smiles back, before breaking away. Out of the corner of his eye, he catches Jay making impatient gestures at them. “Now, as much as I’m loving this, I think there is someone else here who very much wants to say hello,”

Kai turns, eyes landing on Jay. Cole takes another step back and Jay wastes no time taking his place. He takes Kai’s hands in his own, practically vibrating in excitement.

“Guess what Zane just told me?” He singsongs.

“Oh No.” Kai’s face pales.

“Oh yes. You and I have a date with the ice rink tonight baby.” Jay grins wildly. He does not give Kai much of a chance to protest before grabbing his hand and hauling him in what Cole assumes is the general direction of the ice rink.

“Jay! Wait! What about the others…” Kai protests weakly. It’s nothing more than the barest of attempts though. If Kai really didn’t want to go, he would not be letting Jay drag him away so willingly.

“They’ll catch up,” Jay assurse, sparing a quick glance in their direction. Zane nods, winking conspiratorially.

“You go have fun. We will be along shortly,”

“You had a hand in this. I blame you if I break any bones,” Kai huffs, but he is smiling. He gives Zane one last look of fake disapproval before he and Jay disappear into the crowd.

“Somehow, I don’t think he’s really that upset by this development,” Cole observes, stepping forward so he is side by side with Zane.

“I would not disagree with that statement.” Zane replies.

“Do you think we should follow them?”

“Eventually. Give them their time. Kai has been missing Jay fiercely, far more than you or I. Let them have their time, and we can join up with them later.”

“Makes sense considering Jay is the only one who didn’t have a chance to go see him after he was pulled from the roster.” Cole turns to Zane with a smile. “Can’t really complain anyways, because it means I get to spend time with you!”

“Time with you is always well spent, I agree. Is there anything specific you’d like to do?”

“There was a music stand back there that looked like it had some good stuff. Wanna go check it out with me?”

“I would love to,” Zane smiled, gesturing for Cole to lead the way.

The two of them head towards the music booth, where Cole picks out a couple of records which Zane then purchases for him as a gift. They stop to play a few of the games that Jay had pointed out earlier. To nobody’s surprise, they didn't win any prizes. A small dance troupe is performing in a park, so they stop to watch. It’s the most relaxed Cole has felt in ages.

Eventually, they find themselves standing at the edge of the town center. They had planned to find some kind of table or bench to sit for a bit, but it was even busier here than it was near the main festival street. Even with the copious amounts of cafe seating and random benches, they had not been able to find anywhere. Instead they had found themselves standing at the edge of the plaza. It was a little quieter here, and allowed them to take a little breather and chat while still being within viewing distance of the rink.

“So did you know that there was a festival happening here or was that just a coincidence?” Cole finds himself asking.

“I will confess I may have picked this rendezvous point on purpose. There were other places that would have been acceptable, but I remembered that this town had the most delightful winter festival and thought we could all use a break. It has been a rough few months for everyone.” His partner admits.

Cole follows Zane’s gaze over to the ice rink, where Jay was unsuccessfully attempting to convince Kai to let go of the wall. The freshly healed scar cutting across Kai’s face was still jarring to look at, and it was a painful reminder of just how dangerous their lives were. It was exhausting, to be constantly worried about his team. It was constantly weighing on him, now more than ever.

All the more reason to cherish this rare time off together.

“I can’t argue with you there. Things have been difficult. I know I needed the break. Not to mention the fact that I missed you. I love Jay to the moon and back but you know how he gets on my nerves. Some days all I want to do is rip my hair out in frustration.”

“Yet you love him all the same. As much as he means to me, I’m not sure I would be so patient,” Zane chuckles, smiling softly at him. “I have missed you as well. I have been looking forward to these few days immensely,”

“I still can’t believe you managed to swing this.”

“I traded Lloyd. Told him I would cover prison break duty and he’s taking my city patrol,”

“That kid is just non-stop. Probably a good thing he’s back in Ninjago City, things have been slow there. He needs the break as much as the rest of us,”

“What you might call a ‘win-win’ situation. Lloyd is finally taking a break, I get to work with Kai for the foreseeable future, and I get to have quality time with all my partners for the first time in almost half a year,”

“Speaking of which, now that I have you all to myself...” Cole turns, sliding his hands up Zane’s arms until they rest on his shoulders. “Can I…?”

“Kiss me? Of course my dear.”

Cole wastes no time, surging up to press his lips to Zane’s. The kiss is brief, but that doesn’t stop him from relishing in the metallic taste of Zane’s lips.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that,” Cole sighs as he pulls away.

“Hmmm I imagine it would be since the day I last saw you, which coincidentally, is how long I have been wanting it as well,” Zane wraps his arms around his waist, pulling him close.

“Okay so maybe you do know,” Cole concedes. They stay that way for a few moments before Zane speaks.

“May I kiss you again?”

“I’d like that, yeah,”

The second time, it lasts a little longer and Zane holds him a little tighter. Cole shivers. The master of ice was always cold, and the chill in the air only made it colder. It's not exactly comfortable but he doesn’t mind. He’s missed this too much to care about a little chill.

“I love you so much,” Zane pulls away, brushing a loose strand of hair out of his face.

“Right back at you. Don’t tell the others, but I think I missed you the most,”

“I’m honored to hear that,” Zane’s gaze drifts back towards the ice rink. “Now that I think about it, do you think we should go join them?”

“Mmmm no, I’ll leave the wobbling across ice to Kai. I wanna spend a little more time with you,” Cole scans the area, eyes landing on a cider booth. “Let’s go get drinks. By the time we get through the line, Jay will probably have given up on trying to teach Kai. If not, I’m sure he’ll be glad for rescue,”

“That sounds like an excellent plan,” He offers his arm, and Cole takes it eagerly. It’s not often that Zane is so affectionate. He’s going to take advantage of it while he can.

They chat about nonconsequential things while they wait. Cole talks about some of the cool places he and Jay have visited. Zane tells him of a new cookbook he picked up and the recipes he is hoping to try from it. The entire time they do not let go of each other. In fact, they only seem to press closer, trading linked arms for twined fingers and brushed shoulders. It reminds him of their first date. He doesn’t want this moment to end.

The moment does, unfortunately, come to an end when they pick up their drinks and Cole realizes he needs both his hands. He lets out a disappointed little sigh.

“Don’t look too upset,” Zane gives him a little peck on the forehead. “There will be plenty more time for hand holding and such later,”

“You’re right, you’re right,” Cole agrees. He takes two of the four cups, following Zane back towards the rink.

“Hey!” he calls out. Kai and Jay both turn their attention to him. He holds up the drinks. “We come bearing gifts!”

Kai is more than glad for the rescue, scrambling as fast as his poor skating skills would let him get off the ice. Jay follows closely behind, laughing the whole way. Cole and Zane meet them near the exit.

“You guys are my heroes!” Kai exclaims. He eagerly takes the drink Zane offers him. “I thought that was never going to end.”

“Aw come on,” Jay pouts. “ Don’t lie. You had a great time.”

A soft look crosses Kai’s face, and he nods. “Yeah. Yeah I did.”

The two of them share a look so full of emotion that Cole could not possibly hope to understand it. Then, the moment passes and they return their attention to their other two companions.

“So what’s the plan?” Jay takes his drink from Zane.

“There isn’t one.” Cole shrugs.

“Perhaps a break?” Zane suggests. “It was a long travel day for us, as I am sure it was for you.”

“I second that plan!” Kai agrees. “My feet feel like they are going to fall off. I haven’t walked this much in ages.”

Cole finds himself nodding along. He is suddenly reminded of how rough he and Jay had been traveling, and how far they had needed to come to get here. He is tired.

Not long after, they find themselves squeezed onto a bench that is realistically far too small for four people. Cole sits on one end, Kai next to him. Jay is pressed up against Kai, to the point he is practically on Kai’s lap. Zane sits on Jay’s other side, struggling not to fall off.

It’s not exactly comfortable, but Cole didn’t mind. For him, what matters most is the warms of Kai up against his side, Jay’s fingers locked with his, the sound of Zane’s laughter. He had missed this dearly. A little bit of discomfort was a small price to pay.

“I’m really glad we were able to come here.” Jay sighs, downing the rest of his drink. “I was starting to think we’d never all be in the same place at the same time ever again.”

“I know how you feel,” Kai murmurs. “It’s been such a long time.”

“Being separated is something we all knew would happen. It’s part of making sure we can do our duty as ninja.” Zane chides gently. They all turn to look at him. Cole is about to protest the statement when Zane continues. “But that does not make it any easier to be separated. I love you, and I cherish each moment we can spend together.”

There is a chorus of awwws followed by Kai and Jay repeating the sentiment. Cole stays silent, too overwhelmed by the emotion swelling in his chest.

Jay. Kai. Zane. They were all so different. His varied relationships with each of them was proof of just how different they all were. But he loved them all, each just as much as the next. If the last few months had taught him anything, it was that he was not willing to give up a single one of them. Not for anything.

Cole loved his partners with everything he had, and now that they were finally together again, he was going to make the most of each and every moment.

#ninjago #kai smith #cole brookestone #zane julien #jay walker #polyninja #mk’s writing #ninjago-valentine-exchange #polyninja A

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kelieah · 3 years

Text

can’t help it (arvin russell x reader)

request (summary): @dhtomholland : hi !! i have an arvin request... what if arvin easily gets jealous when boys hit on y/n at school or jus try to talk to her and it was cute at first but y/n get annoyed at some point which leads to a small fight but arvin makes it up to her w flowers and telling her he jus wants to protect her 🥺🥺🥺

word count: 1.7k

warnings: language ofc, angst, fluff

edited: i also kinda forgot halfway through writing this that u requested he wanted to protect, i changed that up a bit sorry !!! also why the fuck am is my gifs not loading grrr

a/n: awwee this requesttt,, sorry for the late response. i’m not as quick as i used to be w requests

main masterlist | arvin russell masterlist

You like Arvin a lot, that’s something you couldn’t deny. But lord, ever since you started dating this boy you don’t think you could ever get used to his temper and overprotective attitude. You appreciated it, of course, it’s just that there were many times when he’d let it get the best of him.

There was this one time he was picking you up from school, but you weren’t at the front like you usually were. So he decides to park and walk to your locker to see if you were there. You’re there, but with the company of someone else. His heart rate spikes at the sight of someone, or to be more specific, some candy-ass boy talking to you. He slowly walks over, not wanting to startle the both of you, and listens in on the conversation.

“I- I could help ya with the homework for math class. If y- you want of course,” the sweet, frail boy whose name is Cole, offers you.

You smile softly and nod while closing your lockers, “I would appreciate that a lot! I think I’m free—”

Before you could even finish your sentence you notice Cole huddle in fear before you. “Hi,” you hear a familiar voice from behind you. He wraps his arms around your waist and places his chin upon your shoulder.

“Oh, hey Arvin,” you murmur softly and glance over at him. You know what he’s up to so you push him off slightly to return to your conversation with the other boy.

“Uhm, h- hello there. A- Arvin,” Cole mutters and cowers underneath Arvin’s piercing glare.

You huff and shove your boyfriend aside. “Don’t mind him, like I was saying. I think I can after Sunday Mass, by the trees and tables if that’s alright?”

He gulps as he averts his eyes back and forth between the both of you. “Y- Yeah, is that okay?”

“I just said it’s alright—?” you stifle a laugh until you get cut off.

“Yeah, just studying though. If she tells me otherwise, I’ll cut your—'' Arvin threatens, causing every ounce of color from Cole’s face to drain.

“I’ll see you Sunday, Cole! Bye!” you immediately pull Arvin away and squeeze his hand harshly. “What is the matter with you!?”

“What?” he asks cluelessly and looks back at Cole who had already run off in complete fear and embarrassment.

“That poor boy. He’s just asking to study with me, that’s all,” you smack his arm.

He scoffs and shrugs you off. “Doll, I know you’re dull sometimes but c’mon. Every boy in the school probably wants you. Even boys like him, they just got some type of strategy or some shit,” he runs a hand through his hair and avoids your piercing glare. “Dull? First off, fuck you. Second, every boy? Arvin, grow up baby. I’m yours, and only yours. M’ pretty damn sure everyone knows that. Now fucking apologize or else I’m walking home,” you stop in your tracks and cross your arms.

He stops as well and turns towards you, giving you a blank expression. You remain firm and raise an eyebrow at him, almost testing him to try you. “Sweetcakes, m’ sorry,” he groans and takes a step towards you.

You take a step back and raise both your eyebrows, continuing to stay stubborn. “Sorry, what?”

He takes one more look at you and wavers in defeat. He trudges over to you and falls into your arms, stuffing his face in your neck. You stifle a laugh and hold him up, hugging him close. “I’m sorry for threatening that stupid boy with dumb glasses. I just really like you and don’t want nobody touchin’ my girl. Nobody. Not even God. I’m sorry! I’m sorry. I won’t get jealous or overprotective again,” he drags out his words and whines against your skin.

You throw your head back and giggle. “Arvin! Okay, okay. You big softie. Apology accepted stupid. But, you better apologize to him too, okay?” you push him off you and glance into his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah. Kiss?” he pouts and leans towards your face. You roll your eyes and oblige, pecking his lips. You walk off towards his car and he let out another whine, complaining about how the kiss was too short.

You love how you’re able to bring out this vulnerable and softer side to Arvin. You’re lucky enough that he even started dating you. It shock you that the boy had emotions. You’re only partly joking about that. It’s a true miracle the way you make him fall to his knees for you. You both couldn’t get enough of each other. Though, there were days where Arvin really got on your nerves.

He just promised the other day to not get too jealous or overprotective, didn’t he? Yet, here is now cursing out the same boy who helped you with your studies behind the school’s building. “What the fuck do you want with her? Huh? I saw the way you look at her, don’t you lie to me boy damnit!” he raises his voice at Cole.

Cole stumbles back and hits the wall as Arvin holds his collar, “I- I swear it’s nothing like that Arvin! I promise, I’m just helping her out that’s all! W- We’re just classmates, I’d never try to meddle. Please man!” he begins to weep covering his face as Arvin raises his fist.

“Arvin Eugene Russell!” the two boys hear a louder voice from behind them. There you stand with an infuriated expression. Your jaw clenched your face red and your hands on your hips.

Arvin mutters a handful of curses underneath his breath and lets go of Cole reluctantly. Cole plops down on the floor and hugs his knees to his chest as he watches the argument unravel between you and Arvin.

“Doll, this isn’t what it looks like. I was just lecturing him I swear—” Arvin holds his hands up in defense.

You completely ignore his attempts to redeem himself and brush past him, helping Cole up. “I am so sorry, are you okay?” you ask softly.

He wipes away his tears and nods in response. “Y- Yeah I’m okay, thank you. I should probably go now. I’ve caused enough problems,” he pulls away from your grasp and plays with his hands.

“No, you haven’t caused anything. I think he should go now,” you turn your head towards Arvin and send him a warning glare. He stares at you back in disbelief and clenches his jaw. You both stare at each other for a little longer, as if you were both challenging eachother to see who would back down. Arvin’s the first to crack. He scoffs and turns sharply on his heel, making his way back to his car.

“I- I’m so sorry, Y/n,” Cole bubbles sadly and wipes the sweat beads off his forehead. “I really am.” “Don’t be stupid, you’re fine. It’s my damn boyfriend’s problem, not ours. Come on, let’s go grab some ice cream,” you sigh and walk ahead, leaving him scrambling to catch up with you.

After the nice hangout with your newly made friend, he walked you home and apologized once more which almost made you slap the boy. Though it was calming to spend time with a friend other than your boyfriend, you still couldn’t believe Arvin’s recent behavior.

You know he can get overprotective, but jealousy is something you never expected. You take your mind off of him once again by doing some homework until your peace is interrupted by the sound of loud knocks on your front door. “I’m coming! Jesus,” you yell frustatingly as the pounding on your poor wood gets louder. You open the door to see Arvin with a guilty expression, a heap of flowers in one hand and a dozen of pop in the other. You raise an eyebrow at him and lean against your doorway.

Your silence pushes him to speak up. “Look, I’m. I- I’m,” he grumbles out and avoids your gaze, staring at the ground.

“I’m?” you decide to poke at him and cross your arms, enjoying the entertainment in front of you.

“I didn’t mean to,” he huffs and holds out the things he brought, looking back at you.

Your face now remains unamused. “Come again?”

“Christ, woman,” he rolls his eyes and lets out a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry. I’m fucking sorry I almost beat the kid. I just hated the way his beady little shit eyes were staring at you. I coulda sworn the fucker was going to take you from me. I don’t want anyone to take you from me. I mean I know you’re not mine— No you’re mine, but not in a possessive way or something. I don’t know. I’m trying here, hell. I just, I’m just scared one day you’re gonna find someone better than some ditz like me,” he lets the bottled up feelings spill out his mouth like word vomit.

You look at him surprised and purse your lips, examining his face. He finally makes eye-contact with you and smiles weakly. You stifle a laugh and pull him into a bone-crushing hug that causes him to let out a soft gasp. He places down the flowers and pop, wrapping his arms around you instinctively. “Now you listen here fool, like I’ve said a million times. I’m yours, okay? I know I ain’t your object, and I’m glad you know that too. But nobody is gonna take me from you. Nobody, not even Paul Anka,” you tease quietly, earning a chuckle from him that makes you smile in content. “Wanna know why?”

He presses a warm kiss against your shoulder and sighs, “Why?”

“Cus I love your dumbass,” you murmur into his ear and rub his back comfortingly.

He tenses a bit and smiles happily, stuffing his face in your neck. “I love you too,” he mumbles incoherently into your skin.

You giggle and run a hand through his hair, massaging his scalp. “Can you promise me not to do anythin’ like that again?”

“No,” he admits and begins to sway your body as he holds you.

You whine breathlessly and pull away to look at him. “Arvin! Why the hell not?”

He grins cheekily and shrugs nonchalantly, “Because I can’t help it.”

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#kelly's long reads #arvin russell #arvin russell x reader #arvin russell x you #arvin russell x y/n #arvin russell one shot #arvin russell fanfiction #arvin russell fluff #arvin russell angst #arvin russell smut #arvin russell imagines #tdatt #tdatt fanfiction

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lloydskywalkers · 3 years

Note

Heyo! Hope your doing exceptionally well, wonderful and ur staying safe! I was reading ur little oneshots for the movie! Verse and instantly fell in love! Think u have anymore for Kai and Lloyd? (But u don’t need to listen to this, obviously hehe) Have a splendid day!

ahhH thank you, I hope you’re doing well too!! :D oh man it’s been so long since i’ve written something for movie-verse, but I’ve had this little snippet in my head for a while so I guess it’s as good a time as any (and it is, of course, about kai and lloyd bc when is it noT)

it’s a little different than what i usually write, for movie-verse? but i hope it fits the bill! (takes place pre-movie, btw)

Of all his friends, Lloyd thinks Kai is most like the sun. Not just for his codename, and the enthusiasm with which he brings fire to the team, metaphorically and far too often literally, but for how bright he is. Kai reminds Lloyd of the sun at full force, strong and blazing and staunchly refusing to let anyone hide from his warmth. An endlessly combusting ball of stubbornness and passion.

Kai also reminds Lloyd of the sun in the way that he possesses about the same amount of brain cells the sun does, which is zero, because the sun has no brain — much like Kai.

“Hey, ru—de, ow, stop—”

Kai’s petulant response strangles off in cracked pain as Lloyd hushes him, simultaneously pulling the alcohol-soaked cloth from his arm with a sympathetic wince.

“Sorry, sorry,” Lloyd murmurs, wringing the edge of the cloth. “But I’ve gotta — it’ll get infected, if you don’t—”

“Nah, s’okay,” Kai says, breath hissing out through clenched teeth. He gives Lloyd a wavering smile that could almost be encouraging, were he not bleeding over Lloyd’s faded bedspread. “Just caught me off guard, I’m good now. ‘Sides, the — the stitches are gonna be worse, so—”

“It won’t be that bad,” Lloyd promises him, cleaning the rest of the deep slashes that run across Kai’s arm as quickly as he can. The lower ones aren’t so bad — he could get away without stitches, maybe. It’s the uppermost one that scares Lloyd, cutting deep enough into Kai’s skin to pose a threat. And Lloyd has no intention of leaving Kai anywhere near in danger, especially with the reason he’s hurt in the first place.

Lloyd swallows against the thick lump that suddenly forms in his throat, trying to banish the flood of emotions that have been rising since the battle against his father’s forces earlier. Surprise, shock, gratitude—? A swirling maelstrom of a deep-seated kind of aching warmth Lloyd is utterly unfamiliar with. It leaves him off-kilter, and words don’t come easily as they usually do.

Not that words ever come easily to Lloyd, but normally he isn’t quite this stuttering. Maybe. He hopes not. Maybe he’s just hyperaware right now, after everything, and he always sounds this embarrassing.

“I promise,” Lloyd continues, yanking himself from his thoughts as he busies with the needle. “I’ve got a lot of experience, and I’ll be gentle.”

Kai watches Lloyd threading the needle with a thinly-veiled fear, but he nods, the bravado Lloyd’s more familiar with making its way across his face. “Nice,” he says. “I trust you, Dr. Lloyd.”

Lloyd’s hands falter with the needle for a moment, before he resumes sterilizing it, ducking his head. Kai sounds like he means it — Kai sounds like he means everything he says, but the way he says trust hits differently, for Lloyd.

They’ve only been a team for few months, now. Not very long at all, to form any kind of trust in the son of your greatest enemy. Lloyd’s been going to school with some of the same people since kindergarten, and they’ve never looked at him with anything kinder than hatred, much less trust. And yet Kai is here, offering him his bleeding arm in Lloyd’s tiny room, trusting him to repair the damage he only took because he was protecting Lloyd.

Lloyd doesn’t understand. He doesn’t — people don’t — but his team—

They listened to him. Actually listened to him, to Lloyd. They actually listen to him in general, have since they were all thrown together in this odd little grouping, but it hasn’t quite hit home in the way it did tonight, when he’d snapped orders at them in barely-restrained panic, Kai’s blood staining his fingers as he’d staunched the knife wounds meant for him.

They hadn’t flinched back at his raised voice. Lloyd never raises his voice — he’s learned to keep it quiet, soft, unassuming. Even the slightest slip of frustration is enough to send anyone around him murmuring in suspicion, eyes narrowing and hissed whispers of just like his father filling the air.

Lloyd’s voice had been sharp and strained, barking across the rooftop, and they’d listened. No one flinched back, no eyes widened in fear — they’d just listened. They’re still listening, carrying out Lloyd’s orders without question, and it’s — it’s dizzying, if Lloyd had to put a word to it.

Cole and Zane are taking care of clean-up — something Lloyd will have to thank them for later, profusely. Neither were particularly happy about letting Kai out of their sights, but Cole and Zane are better at keeping each other steady than anyone else. It was the right call, Lloyd knows it was. Hopes it was.

But Lloyd hasn’t been having much faith in his calls, tonight. Not after Kai went down.

He swallows, focusing on the sounds reverberating from behind his closed door. Nya and Jay are talking with his mother, Nya’s louder tones easier to hear as she laughs. Lloyd knows her well enough to catch the strain in it, but he knows it’ll fool his mother. They’re distraction — Lloyd’s house was closest, and he’s got the best supplies stashed there. No one questions why he’s the one with the fully stocked medical kit, but Lloyd suspects they’ve all drawn their own conclusions.

He wishes they’d believe him, when he says it’s because he’s worried for them. He grew up with Wu as his uncle, who picks fights on a daily basis — with Morro as his cousin, who picks fights on an hourly basis. Lloyd knows the importance of having the good kind of medical supplies.

He finishes prepping the needle, squeezing Kai’s wrist briefly in warning. Lloyd’s not usually a tactile person — not that anyone would let him be — but he knows Kai soaks up touch like a starved sponge, and Lloyd’s desperate to give any kind of comfort he can before he starts with the needle.

Kai swallows, fixing his eyes firmly on the faded glow-in-the-dark stars plastered across Lloyd’s ceiling.

“Okay,” he says, his voice tight. “Bring it on.”

Lloyd swallows, steels himself, and sets the needle against his skin. Kai flinches at the first prick, eyes squeezing shut briefly, but otherwise he doesn’t move, jaw set stubbornly as Lloyd moves quickly. For his part, Lloyd keeps his eyes locked on the stitches, his hands steady. For all that Lloyd’s made up of bouncing nerves half the time, his hands rarely shake. Never when patching wounds up. He’s always been proud of how steady he can hold a needle, and tonight is no exception.

It’s the least he can do.

Kai suddenly tenses up, a broken-off noise strangling in his throat. Lloyd’s heart twists, but he stays steady, rallying himself. Conversation — Kai likes talking, right? Distraction, he can do that.

“So, um,” Lloyd stutters. On second thought, he’s awful at small talk. But — for Kai. “The way you took down that last guy was, it was really cool. Where’d you learn that?”

Kai bites his lip, exhaling shakily before he answers. “I train too, you know.”

Lloyd’s mouth quirks, despite himself. “Not like that.”

“What, a ninja can’t — can’t get creative,” Kai replies, through half-gritted teeth. Lloyd doesn’t say anything, but Kai rolls his eyes, continuing. “Fine. When I was younger, I ah…might’ve taken a few dance classes. For Nya! ‘Cause I couldn’t let her go alone, y’know, but they were — they were kinda fun, I guess, and maybe they slip into fighting, sometimes.” His cheeks darken, and Lloyd bites back a quiet laugh.

“Nothing like Cole, obviously, ‘cause he’s an actual dancer, but — that’s where I got it from.” He pins Lloyd with a glare, that’s somewhat dimmed by the scrunched expression of pain on his face. “Tell anyone and you’re dead though, okay?”

Lloyd hums his agreement, too focused on the stitches to reply immediately. After a moment, though, he speaks up again. “I did some ballet, when I was little.”

“No way,” Kai says, sounding delighted.

“Yeah, way,” Lloyd says. “I’ve heard from a very reliable source that dancing backgrounds are useful, with ninja stuff.”

“Very reliable meaning your uncle,” Kai grins.

Lloyd shrugs. “Maybe,” he half-smiles. Kai suddenly sucks in another pained breath, but to Lloyd’s relief, it’s likely the last one. He finishes off the stitches with a well-practiced hand, snapping the end of the thread and exhaling in relief.

“There. All done.”

Kai’s eyes widen. “Seriously, already?” He glances down at his arm, his other hand moving up to touch the stitches. Lloyd smacks it away, glaring at him.

“Don’t touch. You still have to watch out for infection. I’ll text you instructions for taking care of it, and everything. Just don’t do anything, ah…”

“No ninja-ing?” Kai finishes for him, crestfallen.

“Probably a good idea,” Lloyd says, apologetic. “But it’s not too bad. Shouldn’t take long, and you can be out, uh, ninja-ing again."

Kai is quiet for a moment, regarding his stitches. Then he turns to Lloyd, who is immediately staggered at the bright smile that stretches across his face.

“Cool. Thanks, Lloyd. You’re good at this.”

Lloyd can’t answer, his throat burning. He forces the welling moisture back, looking away. Kai’s only hurt for him, and that is layered with so much more meaning than Lloyd can comprehend right now.

“No problem,” Lloyd mutters, focusing instead on the voices outside his door in an attempt to find footing again. He can hear his mom laughing at something Nya’s said, open and relaxed in a way his mom rarely is. Lloyd’s heart twists into knots.

He doesn’t deserve them, any of them. Not really.

If Kai reminds Lloyd of the sun, then the rest of the team reminds him of stars. All bright and shining, bursting with warmth in their own way. Maybe not quite at the blazing heat that Kai does, but Nya is a north star if Lloyd’s ever needed one. Jay’s a blinking constellation, scattered stars that form a complex whole much larger than you’d thought. Cole’s the kind of star you see first pop up over the horizon, blending with the oranges and purples of the sunset, like a painting you’d see in soft watercolors. Zane’s the early-morning kind of star, the ones that stay stubbornly after the night’s left, dotting the pale morning with a calm steadiness.

Lloyd would be a planet, he supposes, caught in faithful orbit around the five people who have somehow, for some reason, given him a chance. It’d be generous, though. No, Lloyd is content just to be a moon — with no light of his own, reflecting only the brilliance others give him the best he can.

Kai’s finger taps the edge of his forehead, snapping Lloyd from his thoughts, and he blinks in confusion.

“Lost you there, again,” Kai asks, words mangled through a yawn. “Where’d you go?”

Lloyd shakes his head, turning his attention back to the bloodied thread leftover in his hands. His stomach turns, and he quickly sets it aside. “Just thinking.” He pauses, momentarily lost for words. He settles for jerking his head toward the window, where the smoke trailing from their hard-won battle is still visible against the dark sky, and gives Kai a wry smile. “How much do you wanna bet the cheerleading team comes up with a new song tomorrow?”

It’s been an inside joke for them, the ridiculous songs Chen and his gang keep coming up with to throw at Lloyd, and normally it gets a laugh from Kai. This time, though, Kai is silent, his eyes searching as he stares at Lloyd. Lloyd shifts under the attention, caught off-guard again. He doesn’t know what kind of look this is, that Kai’s giving him.

“They shouldn’t talk about you like that,” Kai finally says. His voice is quiet, but Lloyd can spot the brewing anger in it. Kai’s always got anger to spare.

“Sticks and stones, remember?” Lloyd shakes his head. He’s learned, after a while, that anger changes nothing. “Words will never hurt me.”

“Words hurt when people are throwing sticks and stones at you while they yell about your dad,” Kai grumbles.

“No one’s thrown rocks since second grade, actually.”

“Hm.” Kai’s tone is a mix of thinly withheld anger and mild amusement. Lloyd tilts his head, confused, and Kai gives a huff, anger tugging loose.

“Y’know, people say that if kids throw rocks at you in second grade, it means they’ve got a crush on you.”

Lloyd knows well enough it’s a joke, but he flushes red anyways, heat spreading across his cheeks. “Yeah, sure,” he stammers. Kai laughs at his reaction, though, the odd kind of anger departing, and Lloyd feels he’s found his footing again.

They’re quiet as Lloyd finishes cleaning up the medical supplies, Kai nodding sleepily on his bed while Lloyd carefully washes the needle in the bathroom sink. Maybe he can convince his mom to let Kai spend the night, he thinks. Jay and Nya , too — their apartment isn’t very big, but it’s awfully late to make them walk home, and Lloyd is fine with taking the floor, if he needs to.

Lloyd nods to himself, resolving to ask her once he’s finished hiding the evidence. His mom’s been so thrilled about him having people over at all, he can’t see her saying no. A smile pulls at his lips as he listens to the conversation outside his door again. Jay’s rambling on now, bright and excited without any of his usual reservation. He feels a pang, wondering if Jay’s the same as him — wondering if they’re all the same, playing at muted caricatures of themselves, too fearful to let whatever lies beneath shine through.

He wonders what it means, that they’re the ones with the city in their hands, that weight on their shoulders. Wonders what it means, that Lloyd feels safer with bullets strafing the air around him and his mask on, than he ever has with it off. That Green Ninja will always, always sound better than Lloyd in his ears.

“Hey, uh.”

Lloyd starts at Kai’s voice, twisting the sink off as he turns to face him. Kai looks half asleep, but the smile he gives him is bright as ever.

“Thanks, seriously. Not just for this, but for looking out for us. You’re a good friend.”

Lloyd’s heart skips a beat, his brain latching onto the word friend and holding on tightly, tucking it somewhere safe inside his chest.

“So thanks, Lloyd,” Kai yawns, barely awake at all now, but still stubbornly clinging to the threads of awareness.

Lloyd’s got his own thank you to give back, twisted and strangled behind whatever lump’s formed in his throat, but Kai’s snoring before he gets the chance to say it. So Lloyd tugs the edge of his comforter over his friend — his friend — instead, and runs the words over in his mind again and again, like a treasured line from a book.

On second thought. Maybe Lloyd isn’t so bad. He’s only ever liked his name the way his mom says it, without any of the snapping, harsh emphasis others give it. In others’ mouths, Lloyd’s name is a curse. In his mom’s, Lloyd’s name belongs to a person.

But he thinks, maybe, he likes the way it sounds when his teammates use it, too.

#answered #ninjago #tlnm #lloyd garmadon #kai smith #slight blood tw #i just. have a lot of feelings about friends #and a lot of thoughts about how the movie!ninja put each other on pedestals #not in an inherently bad way but #i think they all think so much of each other #they forget they're human #and that leads to fallout #anyways! movie bros T-T #my fic #masterofswag213

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phoebehalliwell · 3 years

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on the subject of crackships.

in a prue lives, phoebeleo piperkyle pruecole paigeandy au (in which paige meets them in s1) how do u see it playing out and ALSO. do u see them all having kids still. this is so random i am so sorry (also i don't mean they have to be set from the get go and never get w anyone else but these would hypothetically be endgame)

i mean with phoebeleo like hard yes like in s2 when they're watching the baby at the end everyone's like phoebe ik you're gonna be a great mom you're gonna have like a million and one kids like mark my words and phoebe's real smitten about it like wow u really think you : ) i'd like to. guess i should probably find a guy first tho huh. but if that guy's already there bc it's leo and he's been here since season one i think they are easily first to have kids and first to get a full power of three the other three is definitely like another can of worms bc like.

okay so for paigeandy obvi we're starting andy's an old childhood friend of the halliwell's for the sake of cleanliness did not date any of them (if we're going messy tho dated prue hooked up once or twice with phoebe (not while dating prue, but neither of them ever mentioned it around prue bc well. yikes.) And piper had a major crush on andy for like. a decade. from ages 13 to 23) and he's a cop and does. stuff idk helps people and this lands him frequently in bed with social services which is. consistently. a pain in the ass. and he doesn't try to hold it against them bc they're clearly understaffed underpaid there's a lot to do but um jesus. and everyone in the precinct Hates having to go over there to do stuff bc you're just standing in the lobby drinking bad coffee for fifty minutes before you can even get a word in with the work and unlucky andy he drew the short straw ends up at social services and who should he meet there if not this gorgeous but really scatterbrained berkeley grad with a mouth like a sailor and a heart of gold and now um there's no need to draw straws at the station because andy straight up volunteers to go to social services just to see paige which she notices of course because like. were you jinxed or something? cursed? i've never known someone to draw the short straw so many times. and andy's like no i just um. like being hands on with my work i don't like leaving up to some dumb rookie with bad luck and paige is like oh don't worry i promise it is still being left to some dumb rookie with bad luck i mean i am right here blah blah blah banter conversation hint at a tragic backstory give it half a season and then it's official bf/gf shit and as far as charmed goes it's a prophecy about four sisters and the halliwells are like phew. dodged a bullet there lmao. until they do something only charmed ones could do and they're like Wait. Fuck. Is There A Fourth Sister Out There? so they find paige within the first hmm ten episodes or so.

so since we have both s1 phoebeleo and paigeandy i'd say they'd be on the fastest track but i feel like paige does have a lot more issues when it comes to getting married and having kids than phoebe does regardless i think by s4 they're married on track to have kids with pruecole we're doing the s3 introduction and the enemies to lovers arc we seal that with either a wedding at the very end of s4 or at the very beginning of s5 however kids is like. like they both want kids but prue has daddy issues and cole has mommy issues not to mention the charmed one/demon hybrid so they need to do some soul searching on that one. prue's probably pregnant by the end of s5 and has her baby halfway thru s6. paige may or may not have had kids at this point if they did they were kind of a whoopsies baby but she and andy r embracing it with open arms.

piperkyle imo is peak in a divorce/widower era it's been pitched like piperkyle au where he's not fucking insane piperkyle au where she's not brokenhearted piperkyle au where they're both normal happy people who then meet but like. nah. the appeal of them to me really is being the broken fucked up human being and feeling like you're kinda just gonna stay broken and fucked up bc you had your shot and you blew it so now you're here get used to it and then to have someone to meet someone who sees you so genuinely as you are that at first it's disgusting leave me alone i hate you but out of that just honest sight grows familiarity and comfort and before you even realized it happened love and jfc i'm in love with them???? but you realize that you're always happier when they're around you want to stay by their side and you don't even have to wonder if they feel the same because you just know they do because you Know each other and you don't have to wait for them to turn and run once they see who you really are because they know who you are they've known from the start saw the ugly the broken and vile and looked past that and saw the beauty and genuine love underneath like 🗣‼🗣‼🗣‼🗣‼. piperkyle consistently makes me insane. So. in order to hit this. we're bringing in dan. that's right, from season two to six (maybe just five but i'd like to have the pruecole arc wrapped up in a nice bow by the time we open up the next enemies to lovers) piper and dan give a relationship the old college try going from the honeymoon phase to the cringe failmarriage stage until it's eventually just time to call it quits like you literally can't move forward. so because of the delayed start piperkyle would def be the last to have kids but because this is a long slowburn full of character development and just like. vulnerable bonding moments i think that once they go official as a couple wedding and kids are not far off on the horizon i think if we close out a season (a hypothetical 9 or 10) with them getting together for the first time then we gotta burn some miles on the freak out denial stage because i always think that's funny that'll last half a season? maybe a third. and then by the end of the season we're looking at a wedding. by the end of the following season they def have a kid

superlatives!

most fashionable couple: pruecole

most likely to name their kids after dead relatives: piperkyle

most likely to break p tradition: paigeandy

most chill about dating a charmed one: phoebeleo (andy kyle & cole would all be way too willing to throw themselves into danger, leo trusts phoebe's foresight and knows when he needs to sit on the sidelines. it is a lesson all the other men still struggle with)

bonus round!

best bromance: 1st place: leoandy 2nd place: leocole 3rd place: colekyle

#charmed #prue x cole #piper x kyle #phoebe x leo #paige x andy #also never apologize for sending me dumb crackship things i fuckin love them!!#💌

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rjhpandapaws · 3 years

Text

Will be the Best Years of My Life

Ch 3: I'll Stay Behind to Stay with You

Middle school came with his teachers trying to get him to go the way of Connor. They figured bumping him up a grade would help with his ADHD; that having a challenge to pit his boundless energy against would calm him down. They didn’t listen when he told them it wouldn’t work. That if they just put him in Daniel’s class he would be fine. The school didn’t believe him on that either and decided to go over his head and call his dad. So the next Monday found him in his guidance counsellor’s office with his dad. Understandably, when he’d first gotten the call his dad assumed Silas had gotten himself into trouble again. Silas watched with some amusement as his dad got gradually more annoyed as his guidance counsellor talked at him. “That isn’t going to work.” His dad said bluntly and cut the counsellor off, “Just because their twins doesn’t mean Silas has the same needs as Connor. If you shove him into a new class he’s only going to disrupt more because he’s going to be on his own in a new environment.” The counsellor tried to pipe up again, but withered under his dad’s glare, “Did you even bother asking Silas what he needed or did you ignore him because he’s a child?”

“Ah, well,” He scrambled, “We just thought this would be a better fit for him.” “Than what exactly?” His dad pressed. “He asked to be switched into the same schedule block as Daniel Pealeson.” He explained, “We didn’t think placing him in a class with someone he had history with was a good idea.” “So let me get this straight.” His dad leaned to his full sitting height before he continued, “And correct me if I’m wrong; but instead of putting him in class with the one person known to keep him focused, you want to pull him away from his peers and into a classroom full of strangers?” “Well when you put it that way-” “Do you have any idea how ADHD actually works?” His dad continued, “Routine and familiarity work best to keep these kinds of things to minimum. If you put him in Daniel’s schedule block things will go better. If you don’t believe me you can ask his elementary school teachers. They found this out on accident.” “Alright.” His counsellor said after a long silence, “We’ll make the change as soon as we can.” His counsellor clearly didn’t expect his dad to be as well informed as he was; he was out of his depth and he knew it.

They were dismissed after that and Silas smiled as his dad ruffled his hair on the way out. It was nice to know that even when no one else would, his dad would always be there to make sure the right thing got done. It was tiring to always be ignored and talked over just because he’s a kid. “Sorry you had to get called in just to tell them the same things I have been for weeks.” He said when they got into the hall. His dad just shrugged, “It’s not a problem Sixer, that’s what Dad’s do.” He pulled Silas against his side in a tight half hug, “Sorry it had to come to me being called in just so you could be heard.” “Its just so frustrating.” His voiced wobbled with tears. He always hated that his first response when he felt anything in excess was to cry. He was angry, “I’m the one dealing with this. They should believed me when I say I know how to make it better child or not!” “Shh Six, I know” He pulled Silas into a full hug and ran his hand through his hair to soothe him, “Let’s go home for today, and you can try again tomorrow.” “Okay.” He sniffled, “I don’t think I can concentrate like this.”

Silas was in a relatively low mood after that. He just wanted to be heard and listened to by the adults around him. Why was that so hard? They listened to his twin, so why not him? Was it because Connor’s Autism showed more than his ADHD? If he had a meltdown would they listen to him then? “Hey, come back to me Silas.” His dad’s gentle voice pulled him out of his head and he realized he was crying again. “Sorry,” He mumbled as he wiped his eyes. “Want to talk about it?” His dad prodded gently. Silas heaved out a wet sigh as they pulled into the driveway, “I just don’t get it. They will listen to Connor when he needs special requirements, but whenever I need help they ignore me. Why?” His dad was quiet for a long moment and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel as he looked for his words. “You and Connor present differently. His Autism comes through more than his ADHD so the school tends so see him as a small child, like he can’t function properly without his accommodations. Your ADHD comes through more, and that’s been reduced to you simply having too much energy instead of what you actually deal with. They think that if they can make you tired you’ll behave in the way they want.” He paused, “It’s not so much that they see Connor and don’t see you; but more that they see you in two very different lights.”

Silas sighed again, “Why can’t they just listen to us? It can’t be that hard.” “Because they’ve gotten it in their heads that they know what’s best, even when they very clearly don’t.” His dad replied with a level of exasperation that Silas felt down to his bones, “Take today to try and decompress okay? And if you want you can invite Daniel over after school. Alright?” He gave slow nod, “Okay.” They got out after that and went inside. Silas changed back into his pajamas and climbed back into bed. He pulled out his phone to message Daniel, but his exhaustion pulled him under before he could get that far. When he woke up a few hours later his dad had left to go back to work. So Silas more or less had run of the house. Any other day he would have seen this as an opportunity to cause trouble. Instead he dug in the fridge for his leftovers and put on cartoons. He didn’t really want to be a person today. The morning had been draining and he was still feeling sour about it. He checked his phone and found a couple of messages from Daniel.

Danny: R U ok? Danny: Silas? Sixty: Had some issued so I’m @ home. Sixty: You can come over later if you want Danny: Of course <3 see you after school Sixty: See you then <3

He smiled slightly as he picked through his food. Talking to Daniel always made him feel better. Daniel didn’t always understand what he was going through, but he always tried his best to be supportive. Silas always appreciated it. When it became clear that he actually wasn’t hungry despite not eating anything all day, he put his food back in the fridge and went back to watching cartoons. Eventually he went to grab his Switch so he had something to keep his hands busy. That was how Daniel found him when he came in through the front door with Connor and Cole. They shared a look and Silas grabbed his things so they could head back to his room. He didn’t have the energy to deal with everyone today. “Pajama day huh?” Daniel asked lightly as they settled on his bed. “Something like that.” He replied as he leaned his head on Daniel’s shoulder, “How was school?” “Pretty boring, like usual.” He said and shrugged his free shoulder, “How was your day?” Silas huffed, “Tiring. Dad had to come in and rescue me from being bumped up a grade.”

“They’re still on about that?” Daniel groaned, “They know it won’t work right?” “They do now.” Silas laughed, “I’ve never seen someone look so scared of my dad. The good news is I should be getting moved to your class soon.” “That’s great.” He grinned at Silas. “You know I did think about it right?” He said eventually, “Moving up a grade.” “Why didn’t you?” He asked. “I looked at Connor and how he’s always reaching back for Markus, and I realized that wasn’t what I wanted.” Silas explained, “I’m happy to stay behind because that means I get to stay here with you.” He was met with a bright smile, “I’m glad you chose to stay then. It would have been lonely with out you.” He took one of Daniel’s hands in his and intertwined their fingers, “Attached at the hip remember?” He squeezed Silas’s hand in return, “Attached at the hip.” He echoed. Silas smiled, he was happy to stay behind if it meant he could stay like this.

#Growing Old with You au #GOwY #Will be the Best Years of My Life #WBYML #daniel60 #daniel x sixty #dbh daniel #dbh sixty #dbh fic #dbh

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rililith · 3 years

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everytime u rb something related to dragonage or like that time u said u played da2 before. it hits me like fuck rill knows about these guys theyre judging my tastes in little fantasy guys. uh anyways maybe draw your favorite da character?

ok, so like, i drew this while trying to brainstorm what my fave dragon age character is- i'll think of more "serious" dragon age drawings soon tho.

I DO like Cole and Josephine especially, they're just chill. I'm most familiar with DAI and DA2, so my pool of characters to draw on is basically that (plus the tiny bit of Asunder i remember.) Honestly tho I think I'll end up drawing a demon or something since they look cool.

I don't have a lot to add re: lore or story opinions, since honestly I mainly play for the combat (I like running into things with a big sword and shield and stuff)

#not the most exciting response but now i am very much in the dragon age zone mentally so theres that dsfgd

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s27hey-its-renee · 2 years

Text

Reader X Cassidy short story based on prompt

I was looking through my tik tok saves for a writing prompt and found the best and angsty-est one yet: “I fucked up” “How did you fuck up?” “Because I fell for someone I can never have” “So did I”

(also this is shifting/reality shifting related so if u don't know what that is/means look it up) TW: swearing)

I walked hastily down the sidewalk, not making eye contact with the few people in the area. The buildings blocking the sun behind them made the air grow cold. I wish I was wearing a jacket right now.

The sound of boots pounding with intent not too far behind me was being drowned out by my mind whirring. I rounded a corner hastily. I took a few more steps before I started pacing back and forth in front of the building next to my work. Holding myself in distraught and from the cool air, I was completely lost within myself. No thoughts, just the constant feeling of emotions flooding my senses

"Hey."

I stopped and looked back to see Cole standing a few strides away with a concerned look on his face.

How I wish he wasn't here right now, not with me like this. Not with me knowing what I did.

"I fucked up," I said as I tossed my arms down to my sides as I looked at him. "How did you fuck up?" he asked as he stepped closer to me, just about a foot away.

"Because..." Tears started to form in my eyes as I took in every detail of his face and expression. As much as I didn't want him to be here right now, a small part of me was glad he was.

"--Because it's taking so long for me to get here and... I fell for someone I can never have, at least not now."

His expression softened as he took another step towards me. Our shoes were just inches away from each other as he reached out and grabbed one of my hands and placed the other on the side of my shoulder oh so gently.

The look in those amber eyes of his was so intense, and yet it wasn't. So much could be said if the look in one's eyes could speak for themselves.

"So did I, darlin'," he said almost in a whisper.

~~~

For the first time ever in my life, I jolted awake and sat up in my bed.

The same bed I slept in every night and woke up in in the morning. The same, light blue walls that surrounded me as I went on with my day. The same, plain chandelier that hung on the same white ceiling I saw every time I looked up. The same blinds I'd close before bed so the morning light didn't wake me up earlier than I wanted.

My breathing was getting heavy and shallow. As I replayed the scene in my head, a familiar pang in my throat started to arise, accompanied by tears welling.

"Take me back," I whispered to myself. I held myself and stared down at nothing in particular.

"No, take me back. Take me back take me back please take me back!"

The tears rolled down my face as I squeezed my arms and sobbed quietly, not wanting to wake anyone.

"Take me back please! Cole! I need you! Fuck, I need you! Please! Let me go back!"

My body shook with each sob, stopping every now and then to breathe.

Thin rows of light shone on the wall opposite of the blinds from the faint light that seeped between them. The annoyingly familiar coldness of my bedroom had given me goosebumps. The heat that was now coloring my cheeks from crying kept my face warm though.

"No no no no! Take me back!"

And then, as my mind started to process everything, I came to a realization; I was conscious in that moment.

I was fully aware of my environment, of myself, and those around me. I didn't pay full attention, but I know I had all ten fingers. I was aware that I was taller than I normally am and that my body looked and felt different to how it normally does here.

"He... he meant it.... I was there... I was there!" I whispered loudly, feeling the resistance in my throat from speaking loudly.

"I was there Cole! You meant it! I shifted on accident and... you really said that.... God damn it," I whimpered as I squeezed myself tighter.

"For fuck's sake, take me back...."

#cole cassidy #reality shifting #shifting #desired reality #comfort character #Overwatch #ow #jesse mccree #colecassidy #overwatchcolecassidy #cassidyxreader #xreader #imagine

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bopbopstyles · 4 years

Text

3. More Than a Song

SERIES RATING: M (sex)

CHAPTER WORD COUNT: 9.7k

MASTERLIST | INSPO TAG | ASK

Y/N promised herself she would never date a musician. It was her one rule–her only rule, actually–when it came to dating. But then, Harry Styles rolled into her life and asked her to break it, just this once. And this is what happened.

a/n: prepare for ANGST! and dunkirk premiere harry aka one of his best looks ever :) also thank u to @havethetimeofyourstyles for making my line breaks bc i’m inept at making things xoxo

pls reblog to spread the word about only exception! 🥰

“Baby,” Harry said, turning to her from where he stood in his closet. “Can you help me with my collar? I can’t get it.”

Y/N set down her phone—she was ready first, which wasn’t surprising considering it took Harry ages to get ready, partially because he kept getting distracted with her. He’d touch her, run his hands all over her, ask if he could get her out of her lingerie, and she’d have to remind him that she’d barely even had it on and they had an important event. “Sure.”

Harry looked dashing—he always did. After much debate, they had decided on a simple white silk short-sleeved button down and a pair of flared black pants, cool enough for May in LA, but still perfectly Harry. Y/N had painted his nails last night a pastel purple while they had watched a documentary about sheep—which Harry had selected—and the color popped against the neutrals of the rest of the outfit. Shoes were still up in the air, but Y/N was trying to get him to wear the yellow loafers he’d gotten recently, the ones she was so obsessed with she was considering stealing for herself.

Somehow Harry always managed to mess up his collars before big nights, the nerves probably getting to him. Y/N smoothed the material on his shoulders to relax him before popping up his collar and folding it back down crisply. “There you go.” In the mirror in front of Harry, her eyes trailed down his body, from his sweet curls she had labored over styling in the bathroom, to the recently tailored pants he wore. She wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed, a smile dancing onto Harry’s face at the action. “Nervous, bubs?”

He turned his head and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. “Bit. More for you to hear it than anyone else.”

The honesty of his statement brought butterflies to her tummy. Harry had been in and out of meetings for the past few months getting together the release of his debut album and putting the final touches on it, but at no point had he let her hear it. She suspected it was because he was scared she’d hate it, but when she asked her dad about it, he told her to think about it as his journal. His journal of a past that Y/N hadn’t been a part of. That had made Y/N understand a bit better, the prospect of being nervous of what she’d think of him more the worry than a worry of what she’d think of the music. So she nuzzled her nose into his shoulder, careful not to get lipstick on the fabric, and told him, “I’m going to love it. It’ll be perfect, just like you.”

Harry’s arms wrapped backwards so he could hold her to him and they stood there, holding one another, basking in each other’s presence before everyone else arrived. It had been a busy couple months for them to start a relationship—Y/N was swamped at work, her boss having left so she had to take on extra work, and Harry was releasing his album, Dunkirk was coming out in the summer, and his tour started in the fall. It was a lot to say the least, and Y/N tried not to think about it too often because she’d get all in her head and ignore Harry’s texts for hours until he called her and asked her if she wanted gummy worms or Hershey’s for movie night. Then, she’d remind herself that they were doing good—really good, even. Better than other relationships that she had been in for this long. Usually this was when she got bored, but with Harry she kept falling for him more and more every day they spent with each other.

He was like a drug, and she was addicted.

“We should head down,” Y/N said, brushing back from him. “Wear the yellow ones, yeah?”

He mumbled something under his breath about her being bossy and coming for Lambert’s job and she snorted, leaving him in the walk-in closet to straighten himself out. Her phone in her hand, she slipped on her heels, a summer sandal with a platform so her feet didn’t hurt, the perfect compliment to her flowing sundress she’d selected for the release party. When Harry had seen it he’d promptly asked if she could take it off so he could ravish her, so she decided it was a good choice. It emphasized her curves in a way that made her feel confident and she’d pinned her hair over one shoulder, the earrings Harry had gotten her for their three-month anniversary on display.

Re-emerging, Harry rolled his eyes over her body and she gave him a soft smile at the way his eyes screamed with desire. “See something you like?”

“Fuck yes,” he cursed. “Can’t wait to have you all to myself later.” Hands in hers, he pressed a searing kiss to her lips, the kind that made her toes curl, before pulling back. “C’mon, Azoff is yelling at me over text about being late to my own party.”

“It’s literally downstairs,” she pointed out. “He’s just mad he can’t embarrass you in front of your friends.”

Harry laughed, arm tucked around her waist as they descended the stairs of his house. He’d bought it at the end of February, a birthday gift to himself, and Y/N had thought to herself at the time that it wasn’t about her, it was about him. But it was kind of hard whenever he had her help him pick out all the furniture, making sure she approved of the colors he painted the walls and the patio furniture.

Downstairs, the party was in full force. Harry hadn’t invited too many people, mostly the same crowd as his birthday. Since it was at his house, he was hesitant to give the address out to too many people, but ultimately he wanted to be able to do whatever the fuck he wanted to celebrate, no paps around. Also, it was hot and he had a pool, so he had told everyone to bring a swimsuit just in case they wanted to take a dip. Y/N had persuaded him to keep it simple and they’d ordered pizza from his favorite place and she made some a ton of margaritas for everyone to help themselves to. Jeff was left in charge of the door when Harry was late finishing getting dressed, and she could tell that he had done a fine job. The tunes were going, people were drinking, and everyone seemed happy. He had even put the album countdown that Y/N had spent two hours making that morning on the TV.

“Stay close to me, please?” Harry asked her, bending his head to whisper in her ear when they reached the group.

Y/N nodded, and Harry began happily talking to Jeff. Y/N started up a conversation with another one of the Full Stop employees who had come who she’d met at a brunch a few weeks ago, plucking some details from her brain about her boyfriend to check-in about. Then, a familiar face flashed in the crowd. “Hanna!”

Harry had suggested the idea of inviting her best friends to the party and Y/N had leapt at the idea. The prospect of having her two favorite people be there with her to celebrate her boyfriend was her idea of a perfect night. Hanna’s red hair popped up, her smile giddy from seeing Y/N. Cutting through the crowd, she quickly made it to Y/N, who wrapped her best friend up in a tight hug.

“I’m so happy you’re here,” she said. “Find it okay?”

Hanna nodded. “Security at the gate did not want to let me in though. Jamie is on his way—Cole called while he was walking out the door.” Jamie and Cole had been together for years and Y/N decided the first time she met Cole that there wasn’t anyone better for Jamie, and Jamie seemed to agree. “How are you?”

“Amazing,” Y/N replied and she truly was. She felt like she was on cloud nine right now, the energy bouncing off of Harry absorbing into every one of her pores. “Excited to finally hear it.”

“You should be.” Hanna leaned over and tapped Harry on the shoulder.

His attention shifted from some work-related conversation with Jeff quickly over to his girlfriend’s best friend. “Oh, hello Hanna,” he said, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. “Thank you so much for coming.”

“No place I’d rather be,” Hanna replied. “Now can I steal Y/N?”

Harry’s eyes lingered on Y/N, but he gave her a warm smile. “‘Course.”

Y/N followed her best friend out onto the patio, giving hugs and saying hello to the friends of Harry’s she’d met during the past few months of them being together. Harry watched her with awe at how well she had fit into his life, she’d succeeded faster than any other girl he’d ever dated. The tidbits of information she remembered and the way she made an effort to be present in the conversations, her deep knowledge of music and the industry coming in handy. He loved having a girl at her side who knew what all of his team did without him having to explain it to her. It was small, but it made a difference to him.

“H,” Mitch said, pulling his gaze from his girlfriend back to the conversation he’d been having with Mitch, Adam, and Sarah. “You good?”

“Yeah,” he replied, taking a sip of the margaritas Y/N had made for the party. She’d slaved over them all day while he was on calls and doing interviews and he appreciated it so much. He reminded himself to tell her later when he had her alone and could tell her properly.

Sarah smiled at him knowingly. “He’s just looking at Y/N, as usual.”

Mitch and Adam chuckled, but Harry frowned. “Am I not allowed to look at my girl?”

“You are,” Adam said, “just be careful, mate. You told us about the rule, remember?”

The Rule. The goddamn rule that controlled this relationship more than he felt like he did, sometimes. He didn’t know how much Y/N thought about it at this point in their relationship, but then again it was still technically pretty early in the grand scheme of things. But for him, it was a constant reminder than their time together was fleeting, that at any point she might want to leave him, his lifestyle too hard. And it’s not that he blamed her. He just hated that it was a possibility. “I know.”

“How’s it going?” Adam pressed. Harry had been distant these past few weeks, holing himself up in the house with Y/N every chance he got when they weren’t rehearsing and he wasn’t on a call. It was hectic and he knew that his friends worried about him.

Harry took another sip of his margarita, eyes finding Y/N out on the patio laughing with Hanna, hair blowing in the wind. “Been good. She seems really happy,” he continued at the sight of her smile. “Bit nervous about tonight, if I’m being honest though.” He’d told Y/N the same thing, but the pit in his stomach still lingered. She had said she was excited, but he didn’t know how she would react to him releasing an album full of songs about his exes and flings.

They all got it though. “About which song?”

“All of ‘em,” he said nervously, and it was true. Y/N came into his life after the album was done, the idea of adding a song about her impossible. Even though he could’ve written dozens—he already had, the voice memos on his phone to prove it. Sometimes he’d sneak away to the bathroom while she slept to sing something that popped into his head, and the few that he’d shown the band they liked. It was all material for the next album, they told him. Some of them had even become full-fledged songs after a few hours locked in his office, but he hadn’t shared them yet. They still felt too raw.

Sarah reached out a hand and squeezed Harry’s shoulder. “She’ll get it, H. Her dad’s a musician, you know? If there was anyone who would understand, it would be her.”

And she was probably right. But there was a feeling in his gut that Harry couldn’t shake—that tonight wouldn’t end well for them. He’d felt it when he had woken up this morning and no matter how many time he kissed Y/N to make it go away, it lingered and it was making his brain go wild.

He hoped it was just the nerves.

The night passed quickly. There were speeches, a cake, Jeff pulled out a bottle of champagne, and Y/N had rejoined Harry at his side for the most part. And at this party, there was no question as to who she was—to everyone she was “Y/N, my girlfriend,” and Harry loved it. Particularly the look on her face that she would get every once in a while when her eyes caught his. He didn’t know what to call it, but he just knew that he felt the same way.

Before he knew it, it was 11:59 and everyone had gathered in the living room. The TV had the countdown on that Y/N had designed, the album cover with the numerical countdown over it, another bottle of champagne in Harry’s hand, ready to pop. Y/N stood a few people away from him, watching him with that look in her eyes that she’d been giving him all night that made him weak in the knees and made him curious what she would do to him when they were upstairs. He knew why Y/N was keeping her distance right now—she had mentioned it once before when they were curled up in bed after Harry asked her to be put down as a co-host for the party, that this success was his and his alone. That she was here at the end and she wanted it to be all his. She was here to support him and give him kisses after, but it was all his.

“10, 9, 8.” This was it. It was Harry’s debut album, his first solo record. It was weird for the rest of the guys to not be here when an album dropped. Usually, they were all standing together with bottles of champagne, ready to celebrate with one another.

“7, 6, 5, 4.” And Harry didn’t know which one was worse and which was better. Maybe they were both equally as wonderful, because he had other friends here to stand by his side. Jeff, Sarah, Mitch, Adam. James, floating around somewhere. His mum and sister tried to be here but Gemma got sick and Anna wanted to stay behind to take care of her.

“3, 2,” He had Y/N. He had Y/N’s excited expression, her wide eyes and flushed cheeks, the look of pride on her face that he treasured.

“1!” But this was his, his success, his win. With the first notes of the album playing in the room, he popped the bottle of champagne and with the bubbles running down the side of the bottle, he took a long swig.

Cheers went up around him, his best friends celebrating his biggest success of his career thus far, one he’d fought long and hard for. One he was immensely proud of and he hoped he would always look back on fondly. And the sound of his album blaring in his house’s sound system—the sound of Meet Me in the Hallway, it brought him to tears.

“Aww, man,” Adam brought him into a hug, patting Harry softly on his back. “Y/N! Come here!”

Y/N was there in an instant, wrapping Harry up in her arms, his head falling onto her shoulder, sobs wracking his body as they stood there. He didn’t even care that his friends were all there witnessing him crying into his girlfriend’s shoulder, he was just so overwhelmed.

“You okay, bubs?” Y/N asked, petting the back of his head softly.

“It’s a lot,” he replied softly, trying to find the words. “Happy. But also just…”

Her hands ran up and down his back, rubbing circles. “I know, baby. You don’t need to explain, okay?”

Harry didn’t reply, just tried to find his breath and stop the tears that were welling in his eyes. And when he did, he lifted his head and his lips met Y/N’s, the sound of whoops and cat-calls breaking out around them. The middle finger that Harry raised to them all did nothing to stifle them either. “Thank you,” he said into her hair when they broke.

The feeling of her lips on his neck, a soft kiss, brought him to his knees. “Always.”

And Harry hoped it was true.

While the rest of the party swirled around her—dancing had broke out, James had started making themed drinks, his favorite being the Sign of the Times one—Y/N sat right in front of the speaker, listening to every word of the album. It was her first time hearing it and she knew Harry would probably play it for her later, but she wanted to hear it now. She wanted to hear his pride and joy, the thing that had him beaming and laughing with his friends, belting out the lyrics with Mitch and Adam in a conga line that was worming its way through the room.

And what she heard broke her heart in so many ways.

Y/N knew that music, and much of art, stemmed from pain and hurt. A good amount of it was also about love, but the songs that were some of the rawest, the ones that hit home for most people, were the ones about our darkest moments. Harry’s album was full of them. Heartbreak, heartache, regrets, addiction to people and things. It was chock full of every one of his deepest darkest secrets, especially the women who he had loved before he met her. There was a part of her that knew that he would tell her in his own time about the stories of some of these women—he had mentioned a few when she’d asked about them—and that she didn’t need to push, but there was this disgusting, self-sabotaging part of her that wanted to know every sordid detail, even though she knew it would hurt her.

This was one of the many reasons she had always told herself she would never date a musician, but more importantly that she would never fall for one. Because their relationship, their joys and pitfalls, heartache and brightest moments, it was all fodder for a song, an album, a career. It wasn’t the artist’s fault, that’s how it worked, but that didn’t make it any easier to be the person they were writing about.

Was that all she was? Another girl for Harry to write a song about?

She wanted to be happy for him, to be glowing and beaming for him, but the part of her that she hated, the part that conjured the worst possible parts of people, it was crawling out of her head. It was twisting Harry and she knew it, but that didn’t mean she didn’t believe it.

The album only lasted 40 minutes, but in those 40 minutes the party died down. People had jumped in the pool while Y/N sat by the speaker, they had finished their drinks, they had said their goodbyes, the object of the event passed. Hanna and Jamie came over and gave her hugs, concerned looks on their faces, and told her to call them if she needed anything. When she looked up, the last notes of From the Dining Table fading, it was just her left.

A light from the patio twinkled and she could see the water rippling under the moonlight. Harry.

She left the stereo silent, not cuing up another playlist, and tugged off her shoes, then her dress. Following the pull of the man who had written such a beautiful, heartbreaking, hopeful record, she walked to the patio.

“There you are.” He was floating on his back in just his boxers, which didn’t surprise Y/N in the slightest. The fairy lights they had strung up together were dim in the nighttime darkness, but just bright enough so she could see Harry and all his beauty. “Look bloody gorgeous, love.”

Y/N tucked her hair into a loose bun at the nape of her neck, knotting the hair so it stayed. “Finished the album,” she said, walking to the water’s edge.

“Yeah?” Harry swam over to her, leaning his head on her thighs that rested on the concrete that lined the pool. “What’d you think?”

She couldn’t help the heartbroken smile that graced her features, because she was too tired to lie to him. Exhausted from trying to pretend that she didn’t think about the fact that he could leave her at any moment, that the insecurities of who she was and who he was didn’t catch up to her sometimes. His fingertips brushed at her cheeks and Y/N realized she was crying.

“Y/N? What’s wrong?” He hoisted himself out of the water and hooked one of his legs around her waist, pulling her into his wet skin. It was cold against the night air, but somehow Harry was still warm to her.

“I don’t know how to say this,” she said slowly, struggling to find her words.

Fingers drifted up and down her back. “Just do your best.”

She tried not to think about the fact that she was crying on his album release day, that they were having this conversation now. One that sat in the back of her mind when she was alone and Harry couldn’t banish it. “The album is beautiful, Harry,” she started, “but it’s about a past that I wasn’t a part of.” Harry was quiet, but his arms didn’t move from their place around her, so she forged on. “I know that artists write from their experience, and that this album was done before I met you, but there’s this part of me, this horrible part that I utterly despise, that is jealous of them. The women who you wrote about. And the fact that it’s them that you’re going to sing about on stage every night. Does that make sense?”

The brush of his chin against her spine showed her that yes, he understood.

“And,” she continued, voice breaking, “I can’t stop thinking about the fact that maybe I’m going to be a song.”

“Of course you’re going to be a song,” Harry said, his voice soft and sweet.

He didn’t get it. To him, being a song was an honor, but to her, it was a threat almost. “No—it’s that I’m going to be only a song.”

The man next to her didn’t say a word. The chirp of the crickets stretched between their bodies, which were still close on the concrete floor, not a muscle moved.

“I don’t want to only be a song.” Y/N’s voice was hoarse, sobs wracking her body she didn’t expect, didn’t want. She couldn’t have this conversation if she was crying, but she couldn’t hold them in either. It was her biggest fear, the one that festered below all of the others, threatening to consume the relationship she had with a man she was falling for. And falling was the only way to describe it—without any support, a free fall that was utterly terrifying but also blissful peaceful.

Suddenly, his fingers swept across her neck, brushing against her sensitive skin. “Y/N,” he whispered, “you could never be just a song. You’re—you’re like the stars and the moon to me. In that room I could always feel you, wherever you were, and I didn’t want to be anywhere where you weren’t. And maybe this is too fast and too soon, but what I feel for you, fuck Y/N how can you not see how much you are to me?”

He pulled her head so she faced him, his eyes teary to match her own. “Do you hear me? You’re so much more than a song. You’re an album. You’re my life’s work, my masterpiece, a symphony. A song can’t contain how I feel for you, it’s just a piece of a billion I could write.”

Soft as a feather, his lips pressed to her cheeks and then up and across her forehead, over her eyelids, barely leaving a mark but a searing fire in his wake that shook Y/N’s core. “And Y/N, you’re better than a song. You’re my life. You’re here, you’re real, you’re with me. Y/N, you will never be just a song to me. You never could be. Not to me.”

Y/N rested her forehead against his, inhaling his cologne and exhaling her feelings for him. He managed to rip down all her defenses, the ones she had spent years building up, and it was frightening. But then she looked at him, the way he smiled at her, the way he kissed her, the way he said her name, and it wasn’t quite as scary. She hoped he could feel how much she cared for him in the way she kissed him, their tears blending into one as they scrambled for each other. Lips breaking and meeting, desperate for more and more and more. Her fingers gripped the back of his head, holding him to her, wanting to have his whole body imprinted on hers.

“Y/N,” he breathed, “you heard me? You understand?”

“Yes,” she replied softly, “I hear you.” She brushed her fingers through his hair gently, curling the wet strands back. “You may need to remind me sometimes.”

“Always,” he whispered, catching her kiss with his own, tugging her into him, arms around her body in a vice grip.

She lost herself in Harry, him an ocean and her a boat lost at sea. Maybe it was their conversation or the night or the alcohol flowing through their veins, but it felt different. The way he kissed her felt heavier, her moans a prayer, his fingers on his back a weight she never wanted lifted. Her legs wrapped around his waist so she was firmly in his lap, arms thrown over his shoulders, their bare bodies except for their underwear pressed against each other without a molecule of air between them.

His lips drew a line across the top of her shoulder, a fire building in her belly as his fingers fumbled with the clasp of her bra. It was a light pink she’d worn just for him and when he nudged at the strap with his nose, letting it slip from her shoulders, she didn’t care that he could barely see it. She’d show him tomorrow morning. He pulled the fabric away and bent his head, licking at one of her nipples and then the other, gasps falling from her mouth like poetry. Without meaning to, her hips rolled over his cock, the thin fabric of their underwear doing nothing to keep the heat of her center from touching his sensitive skin.

He moaned her name, the sound muffled against her neck as he sucked a love bite into the spot that made her keen every time he nipped into it. She rocked again on him, his fingers digging into her skin so hard it would leave marks tomorrow but she didn’t care. In fact, she wanted to have his marks on her tomorrow, she wanted to show the world that she wasn’t just a song, she was his, she was his girlfriend and she made him feel this way.

Hands on skin, he pressed her down onto the concrete so she was lying down, her ankles tucked around his hips, anchoring her to him. When his hips bucked into hers, she let out a sharp cry, the angle brushing her clit perfectly. “Right there?” He mumbled, nipping and tugging on her nipple, laving a circle that left her squirming against the concrete.

“Off,” she whispered, tugging at his boxers with her hands. “Wanna feel you.” With his help, they shimmied off his boxers without too much difficulty and Y/N let out a sigh of relief when she could feel his cock brush against her covered folds. Reaching a hand down, she brushed the pad of her thumb across his tip, a pained hiss flying from Harry’s throat. He was sensitive and Y/N loved it.

They didn’t have a condom, but she didn’t care. She’d been on birth control for years and she knew Harry hadn’t slept with anyone else since she found her way into his life. Plus, she needed him—she wanted to feel him, raw and bare inside of her.

They were going to have sex on the concrete next to his pool, but she didn’t care. They had had sex before and they would have sex again. She just needed him in a desperate, crawling way. When he nudged at her underwear she pressed into him, letting him pull them down her legs without a second thought.

“Condom,” Harry mumbled as she chased after his lips, open mouthed and heavy.

“It’s okay,” she said, fingers digging into his shoulder blades. “Want you like this.”

Harry’s head dropped to the space between her neck and shoulder, the groan that filled the air unlike anything she had heard before. “Gonna ruin me,” he whispered, brushing his cock against her folds. Y/N whimpered at the sensation, her fingers begging him for more, for anything she would give him. When his fingers brushed her clit, his name tumbled from her lips without abandon.

“Harry, please,” she panted, fingers deep in his hair.

That was all it took. She was so wet from the foreplay and just him that he didn’t even need to stretch her out. Her mouth fell open as he pushed inside, a mewl landing on his lips as he kissed her. Slowly, he pulled out and then back in, both of them groaning from the sensation of him being bare inside her. He felt impossibly close, every ridge and edge of him pressing against her in the most perfect way. She didn’t know if she could use condoms again, because holding Harry to her chest, arms around his shoulders as he fucked slowly, deeply, into her, her able to feel every inch of her, it was bliss on a new level. A sensation she didn’t know she was missing with him.

Her ankles hitched higher on his hips and when he pushed back in he hit a new angle, a groan ripping from his throat that set her on fire. “Can I go faster?” He said with a grunt. “I—I don’t know how much—“

“Yes,” she whimpered at his words.

He didn’t wait. He drew back and into her, pistoning his hips at a pace she couldn’t even describe, hitting that spot deep inside of her that made her eyes roll back over and over. How he managed to do that she didn’t know, but he deserved an award. Fingers grabbing at his skin in desperation for something to hold her together, Y/N gasped and exhaled his name, a plea and a beg and a prayer all in one. Her back hurt from the concrete but she didn’t care, she just wanted to finish, to feel him release deep inside of her.

Then he thumbed over her clit and she arched up, back leaving the concrete as the fire deep within her threatened to bubble over. When he start brushing circles there, Y/N gripped his shoulders like they would keep her anchored to Earth, her body possibly transcending. Harry bent his head and sucked a love bite on her breast, the puncture of skin forcing her head back, unable to keep it together.

“You close?” He asked, littering her chest with kisses, “Please tell me you are, I can’t, I can’t hold on…”

She mumbled a yes as he drove deep inside of her, swiveling his hips in a brutal way that left her hands squeezing his butt cheeks to get him to do it again. When he did, she swore she saw stars. “Gonna come,” she said, eyes searching for his lips in the low lighting. “Kiss?”

Without hesitation, he kissed her, open mouthed and dirty and sloppy and perfect. She wanted every rough-edged and sweet part of him, every kiss and press of his body against hers. “Y/N, Y/N, Y/N,” he chanted as he pressed into her again and again, her body drawing tighter and tighter. Then, he pinched her clit and she came, the ball in her tummy unravelling, hips bucking up against him as she rode out her high. Her eyes stayed trained on him as she did, not wanting to miss his face when he came inside of her.

His hips stuttered, release unloading inside of her in ropes that left him cursing like a sailor. Hair wet and sweaty, sticking to his forehead, and irises blown out, he looked beautiful. She held him close until his body settled, shaking as he came down from his high, forehead resting on the swell of her breasts.

Slowly, he rolled off of her, tugging her body into his so she wasn’t on the cold concrete anymore. He was fiery hot and it kept her warm in the cold air. “Can we never use a rubber again?” He asked softly, and she giggled, hiding her face in his neck.

“Don’t see any reason to,” she replied and he hummed with joy. Tucking her hands under her chin, she looked at him with a smile. “Congrats on your album, baby.”

He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear tenderly. “I’m so happy I shared today with you.” She kissed him softly and let him hold her close, not wanting to move even to go to bed because it meant leaving his grasp. And as much as her head told her that it wasn’t forever, she couldn’t help but hope it would be.

It had been four days since Harry had texted her. Five since he called her. Six since they FaceTimed.

He was in London for the press junket for Dunkirk and Y/N was supposed to fly out for the July 13th premiere—it was decided a month ago, the tickets booked and her time off from work already approved. But as the days stretched on and the silence grew longer, she couldn’t help but wonder if something was wrong. If she had done something wrong.

It wasn’t the first time he had been away from LA. They had a conversation about how they were going to handle distance when he travelled back in April, before the album came out and he had to fly around and do press for two weeks. That time, though, he handled it well—he called every night before she went to bed if he could, if not, he sent a long voice memo that she listened to when she woke up. They texted all day, him sending photos from dressing rooms and backstage at talk shows, even FaceTiming her so she could meet the stars he shared the nights with.

But this time was different. Since he left he had texted her just a handful of times and it was when he was at his mom’s house visiting home before press started. And then once press kicked into gear, he was gone, her texts ignored, calls not returned. She was trying not to seem desperate, but with the more time that passed the more anxious she got. It wasn’t how this was supposed to go, this wasn’t what they’d agreed on. He knew her fears, the dark thoughts that crowded in when she spent too much time worrying about their relationship, and yet he wasn’t taking the actions that helped her calm down. Even though she knew it wasn’t his responsibility to take care of her brain, it helped to know he thought about her, at the very least.

The morning before her flight was supposed to leave, she called Hanna in a panic. Her suitcases laid open on her bed, clothes scattered around her, tears streaming down her face. She had tried to call Harry again to confirm her arrival plans, only to be met with his voicemail, again.

Hi, you’ve reached Harry. I’ll give you a call back when I can!

Somehow, the sound of his voice made it worse.

“Han,” she choked out when her friend picked up, “I don’t know what to do.”

“Did he not answer?” Hanna had been counseling her through the whole thing, helping her stay calm and sane, as much as possible at least. From Y/N’s lack of response, just more sobs, Hanna knew immediately. “That prick.”

Y/N wiped a tear from her eye and looked at the ticket in her hand. Harry had forced her to accept his offer of first-class, booking her flight through his agent and everything. “Does he even want me there? Should I not go?”

Hanna was quiet, thoughts rolling through her head. “No,” she finally said. “You should go. Even if it’s just to talk to him in person. You deserve to hear it face-to-face, not by him ghosting you.”

“Even if that means I end up in London and he breaks up with me?”

“Yes,” Hanna replied softly. “But I really, really hope that is not what’s happening.”

At first it had been that he was busy, that he would text when he had time, but it had been six days. Now, both Y/N and Hanna were increasingly worried that it meant the end of their relationship and Y/N was simply not ready for that possibility. She had let Harry in—he had begged her to let him in—and he was going to end things like this? When things got hard with the distance he just…cut her out? “Can you take me to the airport?” Y/N asked, sniffling. “If you don’t I don’t think I’ll be able to force myself to go.”

“Was already planning on it,” Hanna replied. “I’ll bring snacks for the flight.”

“Love you,” Y/N told her. Hanna was her one constant, who knew Y/N better than she knew herself.

“Love you more. Now go finish packing and call me if you need me, okay?”

Y/N told her okay and hung up, her gaze shifting to her suitcase. If he was going to break up with her, then she was going to look so magnificent he would regret every second of it.

Eleven hours in the air meant plenty of time to run over her entire relationship with Harry. She had sat curled up in her seat scrolling through her camera roll and listening to Bon Iver, which was the sappiest thing possible and she didn’t care. Y/N didn’t want to break up with him and the photos and the texts and the memories proved it. Her time with Harry had been so beautifully bright, his presence in her life making so much better, from her confidence to her knowledge to her music taste. And she cared about him in a way she hadn’t let herself do—ever.

She had texted Jeff before she took off, telling him she couldn’t get a hold of Harry and asking where she should go when she landed. He replied with Harry’s Hampstead address and the door code, saying there was a key waiting for her, hidden in the garden, an apology on Harry’s behalf for how busy he had been. The words meant nothing, though, to Y/N. If Harry wanted to apologize he would have to do it in person, not through Jeff.

It was eleven by the time her Uber pulled up to Harry’s house and she thanked the driver as he tugged her luggage from the boot. She waited until he pulled away before she typed in the gate code, not wanting to reveal Harry’s security to anyone—she have been mad at him, but she still didn’t want anything happening to him. The door unlocked for her and she slid inside, shutting it quickly behind her. Pulling her suitcase behind her, she walked up the path, searching for the garden statue Jeff had told her the key was hiding under. When she found it, her fingers ran across the ridges as she made her way to the front door.

His house in LA was warm, it was the Harry she knew. But this house felt colder, the design modern, his personal affects not as visible. Although to his credit, he hadn’t been here for more than a few days in months. A few photos of Anne and Gemma were scattered through the front hall, some framed photos of his time in One Direction nestled between them.

“Harry?” She knew he wasn’t there, but the idea of walking into his house without checking felt too uncomfortable for her. She locked the door tightly behind her, typing in the security code Jeff had sent before re-arming it.

Y/N took her time exploring his house. She perused the main spaces, testing out the couches and peeking at his bookcases, studying the art lining the walls. Then she made her way upstairs to the bedrooms, running her fingers along the edges of his One Direction album plaques that lined the walls of his office, the ones from his debut still resting on the floor waiting to be hung. She found the guest bedrooms with ease and she spent a good five minutes standing on the landing deciding if she should go into his bedroom or set herself up in a guest one.

She settled on a guest bedroom. If he was going to break things off, she didn’t want to know what his bed felt like or smell his clothes or take a shower in his bathroom.

Instead, she showered in the guest bath, washing off the plane smell that lingered on her body. She dressed in shorts and a tank top, letting her hair air dry since she would have to just re-style it for the premiere later. Jeff hadn’t told her what time Harry would be back and she was ravenous, so she wandered downstairs to fix herself some lunch. To fill the silence in the house she turned on The 1975, playing the music from her laptop she had open on the counter as she cooked some pasta she had found in the cabinet. As she ate at his dining table, she tried not to think about the fact that this could be the last time she was in a space of Harry’s. The last time she sat on things he had picked out, the last time she rooted through his fridge, past his obnoxious green juices and leftovers since he hated eating out if he didn’t have to. Her fingers brushed at her eyes, trying to stop the tears that threatened to fall down her cheeks.

Reaching down for her fork to take another bite, she suddenly heard the lock click in the front door and the security system begin to beep.

He was home.

She slid her bowl away from her and turned to look at the doorway, waiting to see his face for the first time in over a week. And when he appeared, she couldn’t the return the stretched across his face at the sight of her in his house. He looked the same and somehow that was worse. In a nice shirt from interviews this morning, his hair slightly tossed from running his fingers through it, the sheen on his upper lip from the heat outside. He looked like her Harry, but she didn’t know if he was hers anymore.

“Y/N!” His voice rebounded off the walls, filling her heart with a kind of hope that was crushing.

“Hi,” was all she could muster before looking back down at her pasta. An anger rose in her, replacing the hurt that had lingered for so many days. How could he pretend like everything was okay? How could he smile at her like he hadn’t been ignoring her for days, too busy to even check and see how her flight was?

His footsteps were heavy on the hardwood floors as he made his way over to her. “Baby? What is it?”

“Do you want to break up?” She asked, her question hard compared to his kind, gentle, tentative tone.

“What?” Harry dropped into the seat caddy-corner to the chair she sat in. “What are you talking about?”

She pushed away her bowl and looked him dead in the eye. “I haven’t heard from you in days, Harry. Days. I flew halfway across the world for you and you couldn’t even manage to check-in to see if I was alive?”

He flinched at her words, eyes dropping to the table they sat at. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, words barely audible above her heart beating a mile a minute, pulsing with anger.

“That’s not going to cut it,” she told him, standing up and taking her bowl to the sink. “You fucking ghosted me like I was a girl you’d just met. We’re about to celebrate six months together. And you know what this shit does to me.”

And he did. She could see in his eyes that he knew he was in the wrong, and yet he was quiet. “I was busy.”

“So was I! But I still found two seconds to text you asking how it was going, I found fifteen minutes before bed to call you, and I kept trying even though you couldn’t even manage to reply to me. You’re not that busy, Harry.”

He stood too, walking over to where she stood in his kitchen so that he was a few paces away from her. “I was in and out of interviews from morning to night and when I wasn’t, I was with the cast who I haven’t seen in almost a year. And when I wasn’t doing that Jeff was harassing me about tour details or I was sleeping. I’m sorry if my schedule didn’t allow me to talk to you at every second of the day, Y/N, but this is a huge moment for me and I had to focus on that.” His words were measured, but she could feel the tension rising between them, words unsaid bubbling over.

“And your career is more important than our relationship.” She nodded sarcastically, wiping her wet palms on the dish towel and turning to face him. “Got it, heard loud and clear.”

“Fuck—you know it’s not!” His hand ran through his locks and down his face, struggling to get a handle on his breathing.

“Harry,” she said, trying not to yell, “I’m not going to force you to stay in a relationship that you don’t want to put the time in for. But you know exactly what I need from you—I have been very clear. You know my fears and my insecurities, and you know what triggers them. We had a plan for how to deal with this, and you completely disregarded it!” Her voice rose at the end, the fact that he couldn’t even meet her eyes pushing all of her buttons. “Fucking look at me when I talk to you!”

His eyes met hers and she didn’t see the Harry she knew, the Harry who cared for her, the soft, gentle man. Instead, she saw someone who was pissed off and hurt and grasping at straws. “I can’t dance around your fears every moment of the day,” he said, voice spitting anger. “And I’m sorry if that breaks one of your rules,” the word hitting her in the face, “but you’re going to have to get over it because I can’t spend every second of the day wondering if something I did or said has made you think I don’t care about you! You should know that I don’t want to hurt you, that of course I want to be with you!”

“Well, how am I supposed to know if you don’t tell me!” His words stabbed her right where it hurt, hitting her fears right in the heart.

Harry turned, his body facing the counter, fingers gripping the edge of the marble. He sucked in breath after breath trying to calm himself down and Y/N tried to find it within herself to have sympathy for him, but she just…couldn’t. She was so pissed off at him she couldn’t think straight.

“I’m not some girl waiting around for Harry Styles to come home, begging him to never leave me,” Y/N said. She was done. She was done with this fight, with him expecting her to be someone she wasn’t. “I’m me and I’m waiting for Harry, the person I care for so deeply it hurts—you are held to the same standards as every other guy, no matter how busy your schedule is. I should not be expected to fit into your schedule all the time. It goes both ways and you operated this week as if it was entirely my job to stay in touch with you. And I am not going to stay in a relationship like that.”

Harry’s head whipped to hers, eyes boring straight into her. “Are you saying you want to break up?”

Y/N tried to keep her head high, tried to hold back the tears. “If you’re going to do this when you’re on tour, I’m done. You know what I want—it’s the same thing I wanted from this relationship the moment I met you. You’re the only one who seems to think things have changed.” And with that, she stormed out of the room, which was probably petty but she didn’t care. She was so mad at him for his actions and his words that she couldn’t stand to be in the same room as him.

Harry didn’t follow her.

At 1 o’clock, a knock came on her door.

“If you still want to come, we have to leave for the premiere in an hour. It’s up to you.” And with that, he walked away, not even waiting for her to open the door.

She sat on the bed, considering her options. Did she go and support him anyway, pretend everything was fine? Or did she stay here—or maybe find a hotel—and leave him alone for the premiere?

He had told her how nervous he was about this. This was his first time on a movie red carpet as an actor and he was freaking out about it before he left, a ball of anxiety that she had to carefully untangle. The thought of him being up there alone pained her, despite how his hurtful words lingered in her head. That she had to get over it as if it was that simple.

The red dress she had bought for the premiere hung in the bathroom where she had left it while she showered so the wrinkles would leave the fabric. It was beautiful—a tiered taffeta skirt that cinched in at the waist, a caged bodice showing off her shoulders. When she had tried it on she had felt beautiful, powerful, as if she could take on anything and everything. She had spent a ton of money on the dress and she didn’t want to waste it.

So she got up, turning on BANKS and set about her hair and makeup in the bathroom, praising Hanna for teaching her how to do her makeup in college. She painted her lips red, in the shade that she adored wearing, and twisted up her hair into a chignon that emphasized her neck. Running her fingers along the skin she remembered when Harry had kissed it, but the love bite he had left behind was long healed. Was she asking too much of him? She wondered as she looked at herself in the mirror. Was he right, were her fears stifling him?

Then she remembered what Hanna had told her. That he wasn’t anyone different from other guys she had dated, and what she was asking from him wasn’t out of left field. Any guy she would date she would except to check in with her when he was traveling and Harry was no different, no matter what his job was.

Harry was waiting downstairs for her, probably having heard her rummaging around in the closet. When he heard her heels on the stairs, he looked up and his eyesight on her skin burned because he looked gorgeous. Maybe this was a horrible idea, she thought as she made her way towards him. She would have to touch him all night, look at him in his tailored suit, gaze into his green eyes as they were photographed on the red carpet.

“You look beautiful,” he said, words gravelly in his throat.

She stopped a few paces away from him. “Thanks.”

He fiddled with his keys, the silence stretching between them. “Thank you for coming with me. I know you have no reason to, but having you there…It means a lot.”

Instead of replying, because she didn’t have words for him, she just nodded. Because she did have a reason—even though she was mad at him, she still cared for him. Despite not wanting to, she still craved him giving her a kiss on the cheek as they walked out the door.

The drive to the red carpet was quiet, the radio playing softly in the background the only sound. They sat on either side of the backseat, Y/N staring out the window while Harry fiddled with his phone. She hadn’t been to London since she was 18 for her graduation present from her mom, and the city held warm memories for her. She wondered if that would change after today.

When they pulled up, an anxiety Y/N didn’t know she was holding started building, the sight of the photographers and the screams from the fans barricaded in. With all that had been happening, she had somehow forgotten what going to the premiere meant for her. Her eyes fell to Harry who was staring at her, trying to gauge her reaction. She had never done this before and he knew that.

“I’ll be with you the whole time,” he said, trying to calm her fears. “Promise.” It helped. At least she wouldn’t be completely alone. “Ready?” He stretched out a hand to her and she took it, letting him help her from the car.

The second her feet hit the pavement, the screams got louder. Fans with signs and their phones outstretched on either side of the wide red carpet, the word DUNKIRK in large white letters closest to the entrance to the theater. Harry’s hand gripped her as she stood, thankful for his body to help her keep balanced.

“Just smile as best you can,” he whispered in her ear as the car pulled away behind them. “And if your eyes start hurting from the flashes, just look at me, okay?”

Y/N nodded, and with his hand in hers, fingers entertained, they made their way down the carpet. He stopped a few times to take photos with fans and sign cards, but all that time he never strayed too far from Y/N’s side. With his arm securely wrapped around her waist, they stood for photos, Y/N trying to stand up as straight as she could and smile sweetly. Harry was a pro at this, a smile practiced for years, but she didn’t have the same experience. She was just a regular person who didn’t know which side was her bad side and had her eyes closed in half her photos.

The cameramen screamed questions at them, about their relationship, if they were married. They’d never quite publicly announced their relationship, Harry preferring to keep his private life private, so this was the first time they’d ever even publicly been out as a couple. And for it to be like this…Y/N hated it. She wanted to stand there and be utterly infatuated with Harry like she usually was, but this time her spine was rimrod straight, trying to keep her emotions in check. It was awkward, the way he tentatively touched her body, not wanting to overstep but also wanting to present the aura of normalcy.

Then they took a few steps and rotated to another set of cameras and Y/N understood what Harry had meant about her eyes hurting from the flashes. She turned her head to him and he found her eyes, giving her a wide smile meant just for her. Without thinking about it, her hand pressed to his suit right over his heart, the soft material of his suit jacket butter under her fingers. Then, he leaned in and pressed a kiss to her cheek, softly and sweetly and to most it wouldn’t have meant much. But to Y/N, it was the first time he had kissed her since she’d seen him. And the feeling of his lips on her skin lingered, a tingle moving through her body. Her hand gripped his back a little tighter and he just kept smiling at her, utterly entranced by her eyes.

Their bodies had betrayed them. To anyone who looked, they would have seen perfectly fine, not that they had been fighting only two hours ago. But they knew the reality, and this moment, their bodies close together and emotions running through them without being able to stop it, it made it clear that neither of them wanted to break up. They would just have to find a way to move through it.

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NEXT CHAPTER COMING JULY 11TH @ NOON CST

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