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#chunky slime
prophet-stims · 18 days
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butterfly slime🦋
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kawipan99 · 1 month
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Jake English Stimboard!! (Very self indulgent)
[💚💚💚] [🌿❌🌿] [💚💚💚]
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jellytums · 2 years
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Meet the gang
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dlartistanon · 1 year
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My brand + critters
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randoediot · 6 months
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something for @/wamnugget on Twitter, that was made a little while ago :3 Mam Slimes, the Cake Connoisseur :3
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hellokittystims · 2 months
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Pokédance!
x / x / x / x / x / x / x
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squishsquishy · 3 months
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>> dreamglowslime
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pm-00 · 4 months
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I thank the universe everyday for giving us Tubbo & Slime co-parenting. I am so confused half the time and I love it
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Note
Fred Durst probably has had a slime collection at one point in his life
.
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prophet-stims · 28 days
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cupcake slime 🧡🩷
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Look at this on eBay
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Platonic Yandere Mutants
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“Can I help you with anything sir?”
Giving your typical customer server voice, you finished shelving the sauces and turned to the anthropod-mutant. The world has seen a resurgence of mutated humans that are just the same as any other human other than their more animalistic traits. A big part of the service-related industry was being able to handle the large, intimidating, and sometimes violent clientele.
“I’m so distraught…” The anthropodian looked just as he said with inky-black goo pouring from his black eyes. His quivering pupils were an amber-yellow, looking deep into your soul with lashes painted by his tears like mascara. 
He was arguably quite handsome if you could get past the staggering height of 244 centimeters, the three spider-like legs, and a lean torso connected to a larger abdomen. From a glance, it seemed that he was a spider-mutant but the folded wings on his large backside and the lack of mandibles or multiple eyes said otherwise. You didn’t know if it’d be polite to ask;  in the meantime, he continues. 
“Ever since the Spring the love of my life and I have been trying to fertilize our eggs Even our roommates attempted to help us make our children but to no avail. We went to the doctors and you know how few of them actually know how to treat mutants but that’s beside the point. They told us that we technically should be able to but for whatever reason we just can’t. We suspect that it might be because of the vaccine they recently brought mainstream. It’s just been so hard going through life without our own little bundle of joy.”
“Sir….this is a Matiscoes.”
He started crying again, putting his hands over his face, and you shot a nervous glance around, trying to spot another employee or nosy customer willing to intervene. No other customers were there and your coworkers that were weren’t interested in helping you whatsoever–only willing to offer a minor shrug.
“Is there anything you want here…to quell your grief.”
His crying seemed to cease or at least let up enough to fold his hands in front of him. He was smiling now and tilting his head. You copied the motion as you awaited his answer. 
“That’s why I came here today,” he started. “We’ve been watching you for a while now and we’ve decided you're going to be our new addition to the family!”
You blanched. 
“Uhm what–”
Faster than you could react strong grey hands grasped your shoulders, hugging you tight into his chest before holding you up high. In a way that only an anthropodian could do his backside’s wings opened up. Another layer, which looks like an exoskeleton, pulls back to reveal a gooey compartment. Barely able to let out a yelp as he unceremoniously dropped you into the compartment. 
The feeling of the compartment’s innards was soft and fleshy complimented by what had to be gallons of viscous slime that coated its sides and bottom. You saw your coworkers first–all of them either preparing to scream or reaching out as if to pull you out. Opening your mouth to call for them you found yourself choking on the chunky liquid, as you reached out. It was then you felt a hand on your head pushing down as the exoskeletal layer closed over you. 
It was a mostly transparent screen with tinges of gray that matched the skin tone of the mutant who had grabbed you. Next were the wings which folded over sealing you within the blackness of the compartment and forcing you to curl into yourself. You tried to hold your breath but when your lungs couldn’t take it, you resigned yourself to suffocate within the goop and complete darkness. Come to find you somehow could…breath just fine? You wanted to dwell on it, to question what this was but you found yourself unable to register much in the darkness of the cavern. Or even registering yourself as you felt your eyes close and your body relax.
All you knew was that the muffled yells were nothing but white noise to fall asleep to.
__________________________________________________________
“You look happy today? Was it lunch?” 
Granger, the harpy, was preening his navy blue and magenta feathers when the anthropodian mutant happily strolled in. Picking up on the faint scent of metal, he deduced that his roommates had treated themselves again. 
He didn’t mind it really. 
After all, he had his own specific tastes.
But as much as they were his roommates, they were the closest thing he had to friends. And seeing a smile on your recently mopey friend's face was a good enough sign. The reason he felt like asking was the blacker tint of a blush on his gray cheeks as he lightly scurried by. 
“I did have a good lunch today but I got something better!”
“What is it?”
The anthropodian let out a coy giggle, winking as he made his way out of the mansion to the den he’d recently been crying in. While Granger didn’t pride himself on being emotionally intelligent he wasn’t as stupid as others expected. 
Something definitely happened.
And maybe the landlord might want to know about it. 
Sending the text swiftly, he tucked his phone away at the silent entrance of his other roommate. She held a mass of webs in her human-like arms along with a larger web sack strung over her shoulder and strapped against her back. The drider didn’t even bother to let one of her eight eyes even glance at him as she skillfully strode along the ceiling.
The harpy tilted his head up almost leaning completely on the chair to watch her make her way to the kitchen. 
“So I hear you two went out to lunch.”
“We did.”
“Are those the only leftovers? And I took you for the saving type.”
“...” 
She didn’t say anything for a while instead opening the fridge to store what she had wrapped. For a moment, Granger thought she was ignoring him but then she spoke up. 
“I sent the real leftovers up to the den in the minecart. This food I retrieved is for…Harley.”
Granger made a face.
“Does Harley have a sudden interest in normie food?”
“You could say that…point being don’t eat any of this.”
“Ugh you know I won’t.”
“I mean it, Granger, if you eat this you will know the wrath of Harley.”
“Yeah yeah whatever.”
She blinked all eight of her eyes indignantly before scurrying away. 
Everyone was acting so weird. Granger felt excluded from whatever was going it’d stop when Quintin got home.
__________________________________________________________
“Sire here are the final reports of this week’s averages.”
“Thank you. Make sure the office party ends well I’ll be taking my leave.”
“Of course sire. Have a nice evening.”
Walking out of the meeting room turned party venue, he drew the eyes of everyone there. Curious staring and admirable gazes alike followed him all the way to his office, giving him a temporary reprieve from the constant attention. The albino looked like any other of his employees, other than his strikingly white hair, pale face, red eyes, and the matching snake tail sprouting from his lower back. 
He too despite his upper appearance, was a mutant. Though more accepted for his resemblance to basic humans, Quintin still received a mix of reactions for his noticeable difference. Balancing the disgusted reactions for who the mutant he was along with the odd fascination for his mutant extremity made his success a winding road. Filled with pain, abuse, and constant questions of his own existence. 
But he was here and now he was a mogul among mutants and humans alike. 
He kept an open mind as he learned of new things, different curve balls, and spotty trends. His openness allowed for flexibility that let him navigate his industry. But that didn’t mean he didn’t like plans. As much as he practiced being open, routine was vital to his level-headedness. 
Specifically with things regarding home. So a text from the unruly tenant and friend made him remarkably tense. 
<Hey so Harley and Mar-Mar are acting weird…>
<I guess something went down at lunch>
Lunch?
Harley and Margot must have gone on one of their little excursions again.
Quintin had a sneaking suspicion as to what it may be but he had to be sure. Considering Harley was dealing with their infertility without too many distractions he could see why he’d go do something extreme. Tapping the password he retyped so often, the familiar security camera configuration popped up.
His eyebrow twitched, his claws scraped the underside of his desk, and his tail angrily whipped around. Finding nothing but the small movements of a cat on one of the cameras the subject for those cameras was nowhere to be found.
Through gritted teeth and a hiss on the tip of his tongue, Quintin cursed, “Harley!”
He hurried home without his typical unaffected air about him but no one bothered him let alone said goodbye. They knew better than to do so. Signalling his chauffeur to quickly head home he tried to calm the anger rising from within. 
The drive felt longer than usual because his mind was in near disarray. He kept it together, calmly undoing his tie and hanging his suit jacket up as he walked up the steep path to the mansion. He planned to quickly change out of his work clothes, with his partner being so privy to the faint scents of his coworkers. 
“Quintin! There you are! What’s up?”
Dodging a feathered hug, he shot him a scornful look shutting down the playful greeting of Granger. Passing him with burning vigor, he made his way through the mansion finding his practically untouched suite. He changed into the relaxing and more comfortable poet shirt and leather pants before sprinting up the mount.
He sent a passing glance at the displaced mine carts. They had been moved recently, which matches up with Granger’s inclusion of Margot. She happened to be the one who suggested moving furniture and delivering food to Harley’s den when he first began to nest. Only confirming his suspicions he ran at speeds invisible to the human eye. Despite looking so similar to them he was wired completely different 
With no need to catch his breath, he strode past the various webbing around the mouth of the cave. For someone who claimed to be celibate Margot was heavily invested and involved throughout their fertility journey. Going so far as to insulate and effectively monitor the cave with Harley in it. Of course, it remained to be seen if this was helpful or not. 
He walked farther, attempting not to trigger the connection of webs that alerted neither Harley nor Margot. Eventually, the webbing stopped and the cave split into tunnels. He already knew where the latest nest was based on scent alone. After navigating the various paths to the entry of an even smaller cave was where he found Harley. 
It was a smaller cavern with a slow but moving body of water with a generator powering the off-hand appliances, and heating panels pointed downwards. A little ways from them in a widely dug hole was the nest, a collection of blankets and pillows that he excitedly went shopping for not too long ago. And so was Harley happily tidying up and poking at the pillows infusing them with his blood and plasma.
“Harley!”
His smiling gray face turned to look at him with a black blush he could tell had been there for a while. 
“Quintin! I’m so glad you’re here we’re almost ready.”
“Harley.”
“W-what, aren’t you happy?”
“I told you to wait. To wait until we were both ready.”
The anthropod made a face. 
“But I was ready. My body said it was time so I just–”
He continued to quietly justify himself as Quintin let his mind drift. This was a common conversation throughout their journey. While his snake heritage was always known to him and the behaviors connected with it the same could never be said about Harley. All they knew was that he was connected to the anthropod type in some way. Other than that it was a guessing game. More often than not they just had to rely on whatever feeling Harley was focused on hoping it’d be akin to a birthing instinct. 
It was exhausting. 
But Quintin loves Harley.
So he’d put up with that, during their latest attempt–surrogacy–he met someone who kindled the paternal instincts in him like none before. It was during an interview for an assistant intern that he happened to be watching that he’d found them. 
A human. 
An awkward one.
That was just trying to make their way in the world.
Never before had he wanted to stow anyone away except for Harley. So young. So weak+ So unachieved. Maybe it was the way you spoke, what answers were firm and not, the way your eyes checked yourself in the mirror provided. Whatever it was it solidified it for him, if this next attempt didn’t work out then he wouldn’t mind adoption. Granted you weren’t a child or a teen but barely an adult he wanted nothing more than to coddle and spoil. 
So after stringing them along a few other interviews, he rejected their application. Keeping the template-based resume and taking the vital information to do an extensive background check. It was a great distraction setting up the cameras in your home and guiding your job search to a crooked grocery store. So of course the sorrow of another avenue closing was painful but it just gave him an excuse to have a routine—-to be calm. To sync his routine with yours; watching your daily life allowing him to scold you through the screen. 
It wouldn’t be long before Harley caught wind of his turned attention, eventually scoping out his secret pastime. Quintin was worried originally, while he had the financial power Harley was just an unstoppable unit if pushed hard enough. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d made meals out of coworkers he deemed too close. But much to Quintin’s surprise, it became the newest vice for Harley’s sadness.
“When can we? I want them home soon!” 
“We need to wait…give it time then we’ll slowly reel them in.”
It was the wise way to bring their baby in. Slowly gain their trust, earn their friendship, and eventually become the parents that could be without explicitly saying it. It was a long game but it’d be worth it as they got the payout all without immense force or bringing stress.
“-it’s just that they’re getting older and we’re going to miss out! I wasn’t trying to-”
“I understand.”
“Huh?”
“I get why. It’s fine. We’ll make this work.”
“Oh well, I’m glad you see it my way!”
How shameless.
Harley bent down to give him a light peck before happily turning away. Continuing to arrange and rearrange the nesting area. Surely there wasn’t much else that could be done, other than maybe customizing it with a few things from their baby’s shoddy shack they called home. But not too much. He could only hope your favorite things weren’t infected with whatever vermin surely lived in the rundown place he had (his staff) those cameras planted in. On that topic, he made a mental note to pick up the little creature he saw running nervously around there. Surely bringing it back home would help their baby acclimate. Speaking of them…
“Where are they by the way?”
With a small smile and a flutter of Harley’s wings, he already knew. Quintin couldn’t help but pinch the bridge of his nose.
“How did I know…anyway Harls are you going to release them soon?”
“But they’re so cozy and quiet in here!”
“Harls.”
“I was going to but what better way to get close to each other?!”
“Harls. Most humans already are frightened by our appearance, let alone the inner workings of us mutants…they aren’t going to respond to your…” He sent a worried look to the anthropodian’s behind. “Affection all that well.”
“I know that! All babies are fussy, especially when they haven’t been with us for too long.”
Quintin decided to dismiss the jump in logic. Harley sighed before picking a place among the pillows to settle down in. With a pout on his lips, his wings flapped up and the final layer of his protective pouch pulled back. 
There you were, sleeping in the fetal position and submerged in the yellow fluids of Harley’s design. Soothed by the sounds of your light breathing Quintin took a minute to admire you before scooping you up in his arms. Not bothered by the residue soaking through his shirt, he settled you down on one of the many propped-up pillows. Making sure to support your head as he held you tight. He lightly rocked you noting you were still wearing your work uniform. He held back a sigh and sent a look to his partner who had finished closing his pouch and had turned to sit against his side. 
“What? We figured we’d get lunch along the way.”
“Did they see?”
“Nope! And if you want we have leftovers!”
“ I smelt so and…maybe if the manager is among them.”
“Hmm you’ll have to ask Margot, she’s already wrapped them up.”
“U-u-uhm what is going on?!”
______________________________________________________________
When you woke up, you first remember how hard it was to open your eyes. Not only because the desire to sleep wasn’t constantly plaguing your brain but because something had glued your lashes together. It took over five attempts to blink your eyes open. 
One. 
Two.
Your lips had the same problem, you’d have to try to open them too. 
Three.
Four.
What was this taste in your mouth?! 
Five. 
It was remarkably blurry. Like round spots of color barely moving blurry. But your eyes would adjust like all your other senses, including your ears which seemed to have been clogged but were slowly becoming clear.
“--see?”
“---eftovers!”
Both those voices sounded so familiar one more so than the other. Coupled with the oddly chilly hand weight of a hand supporting your back, which seemed to lightly bob you up and down. The voices of the ones above you became clearer, talking about something you couldn’t grasp.
“Uhm, what’s going on?!”
It came out before you could register your mouth moved at all. It only made you regret it when they both turned to you with such wide eyes; almost like a feline’s glare when it came to hunting. 
The gray man gave a fanged smile, “Hi baby, good morning! Did you have a nice rest?”
You felt the urge to scream only able to hone in on the glowing yellow pupils and the sharpened teeth coming closer to you. The paler face, a much more human-like face tutted the threatening being. Pulling you to sit on their lap, letting you eye the incredibly dark cavern that you were in before covering your eyes with a pale hand. 
Eyes covered, you could only guess it was a muscular arm wrapping around your waist. Hushing in your ear and a hand attempting to soothe you by rubbing the side of your upper arm. It helped…a little.
“(Y/n), relax for me. Breathe in and out. Breathe in and out.”
You followed the man’s instructions to fight the urge to let out a shuddered breath. You could feel your tears dampen the hand over your eyes. He repeated the same instructions to you, waiting for your breath to even out before trying to speak to you.
“(Y/n) some things are going to be different now.”
“What do you mean by that? How do you know my name? Where am—”
Shushing you again the voice calmly continued,” I am Quintin and the anthropod you met before is Harley. We’ll be your guardians from now on.”
“What?! Guardians?! But I’m an adult I don’t need any–guardians!”
The voice seemed to pause, almost offended by your denial. The arm around you—that felt like it didn’t have joints–tightened around you in a vice grip.
“We are your guardians from now on (Y/n)...now would you like to see or would you like a blindfold?”
Now it was your turn to be silent. Debating with yourself on what would bring the most comfort in the stress full time.
On one hand, if they were going to torture you or force you to undergo some horrific experiments or something the blindfold would be better.
On the other hand, having your sight lets you see where you can escape and see what you’re up against. 
Well, the answer is obvious, right?
“I want the blindfold off.”
“Okay, but if you misbehave it’s going right back.”
You ignored the warning as your dim surroundings were revealed. Blinking away the blurred specks in your eyes it revealed the familiar face from the store. Your expression must’ve shown your realization because the mutant spoke.
“Hi, sweet pea! We did officially meet in the store but I’ll have you know I’ve been wanting you home with us for a long time!”
You grimace, “You were stalking me?” 
His expression became downcast before he shook his head. 
“Stalking is for hunting, sweetie. We’ll have to go over everything you know about hunting if that’s what you’ve been taught. Stupid humans if that’s what they're teaching we’ll have to reteach you everything!”
“I’m human!”
He swoons before pinching your cheeks and cuddling his face against yours. “I know but you’re our human! And that makes you better than all of them.”
You felt disgusted. While there were tensions with the mutants it was mostly through those rioting and promoting discrimination. Those same rioters tended to look down on the other race, saying things just like that. It disturbed you. 
“Humans aren’t stupid!”
“(Y/n).” Quintin warned. You didn’t listen.
“Have you ever considered that our strengths aren’t in our physical strengths alone? “
“(Y/n), please.”
“Now, angel watch your tone! You won’t speak to your father and I like that.”
“I’m going to say something if you’re looking down on people.”
“I look down on them because that’s nature, darling. Just because it’s the way the world works doesn’t mean you need to misbehave.”
“Harley.”
“I’m not misbehaving! I’m stating my opinion!”
“(Y/n).”
“Maybe you’re opinion isn’t wanted.”
“Then maybe you should’ve gotten some underdeveloped child!”
“Grrr. That’s it, I’m putting you in time out.”
Repeating the same actions as he did at the store, you tried your best to struggle this time. Scratching and squirming did nothing to stop your route to the opened exoskeleton compartment. Harley only stopped at Quintin’s hand on his chest.
“But honey they—”
“Are adjusting we have to give them time to learn their surroundings. To get to know us.”
“But Quin!”
“Harley.”
With a sigh, he set you down again. Angrily crossing his arms Harley watched you scramble away, sending a look towards Quintin who closed the distance between you. Finally seeing his face as he came to kneel in front of you. His skin was pale, a smooth off-white that could barely be distinguished from his hair. His eyes were like crimson pearls with slitted pupils gazing deeply into your own. 
“(Y/n), I know a lot of things are changing for you,” he kept stepping closer to you; minding how your back had reached the wall of the crater. He continued to step close to you, holding his hands up when you flinched. “And there’s a lot to learn so I’ll make it easier for you.
You felt something slither between your back and the wall pulling you closer to Quintin as he reached into his pocket. Now it hit you that the albino had a tail sprouting from his behind, that easily held you tight as a blindfold was tied over your face. Naturally, you reached your hands up to analyze it only for those oddly warm and chilled hands to wrap something soft around your wrists.
“Wait did you–”
“I did.” 
You opened your mouth to protest, stopping when you felt the slicing of the air near your ear. Barely sensing the breath, you gathered that Quentin was hugging you and prepared to whisper.
“Don’t upset him. Otherwise, he’ll keep you in that pouch forever.”
“But what if–”
“He’s emotional, you won’t be able to reason with him.” He paused, internally enjoying the defeated look on your face. Taking advantage of your hesitance he set your head to rest on his shoulder. “I’ll always come back for you. When I do I can reason with him so hang tight for me, okay?”
He felt your lips wobble and the small drips against his shoulder. He tightened his hug, relishing the clinging of your cuffed hands against his shirt. 
He tried again,” Can you do that, (Y/n)? Let him baby you, just for a little bit?”
“O-okay.”
“I’m already so proud.”
He pulls away, delightfully having to unlatch your fingers from him. He fights the smile that threatens to spread as he begins walking back to Harley. The anthropodian mutant glared at him with an angry dark blush on his face. His wings occasionally and angrily fluttered as Quintin came closer. Holding his gray cheeks in place, the snake prodded his tongue against Harley’s lips. Pushing past the barrier Quintin enjoyed the warmth of Harley’s mouth diving deeper until he was met with a reciprocated stroke. Before they got carried away, they pulled away each licking off the translucent purple saliva that hung on their lips. 
“Be forgiving Harley, they’re really scared.”
Harley clung to his love’s shirt, peering over his shoulder at the helpless human who curiously turned their head.
“But what if I’m scared too, Quintin? What if they get away from us, like the last ones?” 
“They won’t. I’ll make sure of it.”
Amber eyes looked nervously into Quintin’s eyes before letting a smile stretch across his face. Harley took his time placing another kiss on the albino’s lips, stepping around him as he made his way to the human. 
“Then hurry back, I think we’ll both be looking forward to our first meal–as a family!”
Quintin smiled casually jumping out of the crater; smiling widely as watched Harley scoop you up with care. This time lightly running his nose along your head as he spoke, probably apologizing. 
The snake mutant made his way back to the mansion, not only planning to begin moving your things but also grabbing the food Margot brought especially for his baby. He had to calm himself when he found his tail unconsciously striking the trees around him. Chastizing himself, he didn’t want to knock all the trees down, he’s sure you’d love climbing them. 
“Oh right. We’ll have to talk with others, I bet they're dying to meet you.”
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trashmouth-richie · 1 year
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Eddie x Fem!reader
master list
summary: feelings burst. Fluffy. Fluffy fluffy. Eddie helps reader when she finds herself in a bind.
warnings: no minors gtfo- eventual smut in the series.
W.C: 11.8k 🫣
A/N: per usual thank you the my beta readers @sweetsweetjellybean
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//
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Clunk
Clunk clunk humm
You were already late for work this morning and now this? Must be a fucking Monday. This must be that bitch karma’s payback for you talking shit about Eddie’s van the other night when he backed it up to the garage to unload some shit he salvaged from the junkyard.
“You would think that since you’re a mechanic, you could tune up that piece of shit so it isn’t so fucking loud.”
Eddie scoffs and rolls his eyes, unloading another arm load of car parts from the back of the van to the middle of the garage, “don’t dog on the shaggin’ wagon, you know how much ass I get in this thing?”
The unspoken agreement you had with Eddie the other night after spilling your guts about your past, gave you more patience towards him than ever before. Instead of finding him repulsive, you two were almost friends.
“No I don’t and also I don’t care.” you say taking a bite of a ham sandwich.
“More than a public toilet seat,” Eddie boasts, “Ladies love it, feel like I’m Shaggy or something.”
More like his other four-legged snack-loving friend.
“I really hope you use a rubber, don’t wanna extend the Munson blood line anymore than you have to,” you bite back.
“Oh sweetheart, I always wrap it with the groupies, especially watching Jas bounce from Gareth, to Big D to Walt all in one night.”
“Well look at you, Mr. Perfect bill of health.”
Eddie smiles widely a stupid grin plastered on his face, “I’m so good at the doctors they even give me a sticker. ”
-
Now here you are, stranded at the gas station east of town, past Merrill’s pumpkin patch. Losing all faith in your sanity, you slam your hand into the steering wheel one more time. Your chunky boots clunk across the pavement as you pull the door towards you, a dingy brass bell dings overhead, alerting the gas station attendant that someone has entered the store.
“Back again?” the balding creep with the greasy combover presses. His coke bottle thick glasses full of breakfast pizza slime from his fingers from pushing them up on in place after sliding down the oils on his nose. A brown paper bag with orange spray paint sitting next to it sat on the counter, and a tinge of orange around his mouth.
With no time for small talk or shooting the shit with the local bachelors of Hawkins, you simply need to borrow the phone and call… fuck. You didn’t want to have to call Boom’s, but the other shops didn’t open yet, and you didn’t know any of them. The decision was made.
“I need to use the phone,” you say laying your hands on the counter.
“No can do, this is a business line,” he spits, bits of his barely chewed breakfast falling from his over stuffed mouth.
Irritated beyond belief you say through gritted teeth, “What? My car broke down, I need to have it towed.”
Showing no sympathy, the combover greaseball says, “That sucks, don’t it,” a throaty chuckle erupts from him. Clearly the man got off from making next to little effort in helping someone.
“Listen,” you say peering over the counter to read the slobs name tag, “Ralph— you’re going to give me the goddamn phone so I can get my car towed, or I’m going to tell your boss about your little huffing habit. Got it?”
His cheeks crimson at your threat, “…what’s the number?”
After dialing it wrong three times, Ralph’s oversized fingers and his altered mind getting hung up on where the 4 was on the dusty rotary phone, you hastily reach across the counter and grab it and the Hawkins phone book. Flipping through the worn yellow pages, finding the number yourself and slotting your fingers in the appropriate places to get the number correct, it finally starts ringing.
Angrily tapping your foot, the serenade of dial tone ringing loud in your ear.
“Boom’s” a bored voice says, after ehat seems like hours of waiting.
“Hey, — is Eddie there?”
A scoff is heard from the other end of the phone, followed by an annoyed voice, “Why who wants to know?”
You don’t have time for childish games with whoever this fucking prick is. “Jesus Christ what is it with assholes today? Is he there or no?”
“I don’t know, you stupid bitch— why don’t you tell me if Eddie is here or—”
A scuffle is heard as the phone falls to the ground.
“What the fuck did I tell you? Huh? I’ll drop your ass just name the time and place mother fuck— hello?”
“Eddie?” You ask exhaustedly.
“Tooty? Oh shit, you miss me so much you’re making calls to my work?”
“E—” you begin, frustration rising.
“Or did you call to gossip? Ooooh, tell me all about the salon drama, is it that blonde again, damn just slap her already I know you want to.”
“Ed—!”
“Shit if you’re worried about going to jail I’ll come bail y—”
“Edward Joseph Munson!”
There was a pause on the other end of the line, “Did you just use my full name? I only hear that when I’m in trouble with Wayne.”
“Will you listen to me?! I need help. I’m at the gas station east of town and my car won’t start.”
“What? What happened?” Eddie asks, his joking tone immediately fading to concern.
“I have no idea, but I’m already late for work—can you come pick me up?”
“Usually this is where a please would be.”
“Eddie!”
“Ooh even begging?”
“Goddamnit,” you say under your breath, “Eddie will you please, come get me?”
“That a girl, see that wasn’t so hard. So where are you?”
-
Eddie rolls up in an old orange and white tow truck, head banging with a cigarette hanging limply from his bottom lip. “So what happened?”
“Well I drove here, got gas, and then it just wouldn’t start.”
“Damn, I wonder if your starter is out.”
“Great, so what the hell does that mean?”
“Well, I’m not sure if it is that or not, but if it’s not that— it means that your car is probably going to need more work than it’s worth, but I won’t know until I get it in the shop.”
“Son of a bitch.” you curse, covering your face with your hands and tipping your head back up to the sky. Could this fucking day get any worse?
After buying the house last year, your savings were completely wiped out, the last few months you had been pinching pennies trying to build it back up
“I’ll tow it, but I don’t think Boom has any loaners right now,” Eddie explains, “but since I’m such a kind, handsome, good roommate….”
You roll your eyes.
“I’ll bring you to work.”
Shock evident on your face, “You sure?”
“I mean its either that or the city bus, and last I checked—Hawkins doesn’t have one.”
Eddie agrees to give you a ride until your car is fixed on one condition, the band gets to use the garage for practices again. Too tired to fight with him, you give in.
He backs the truck up, moving the steering wheel with one hand the other hanging out of the window, his tongue poked out through his lips. He jumps down from the truck and maneuvers the wheel lift into place by your front tires.
The muscles in his forearms jut out, tattoos dancing with each movement and covered in a thin sheet of sweat as he grabs the chains from the flatbed and hooks them along your front tires, securing them into place. Your car is lifted slightly giving enough clearance to be able to tow.
“Ready?”
-
Bouncing along side Eddie in the tow truck you sigh heavily, “fuck, I hate Mondays.”
“Okay, Garfield,” Eddie chuckles, turning down the radio and glancing towards you, a cigarette balanced between his teeth, “could always be worse,” he digs into his front pocket for his pack of cigarettes and hands them to you.
You smile weakly and take the pack from him, plucking a tanned filter from the pack and shoving it between your lips. Before you can even say that your lighter is in the car, he’s leaning over. A scratched zippo with a fading design on it, in his hand already flicked open, the flame threatening to go out with the help of the lazy breeze through the open driver’s side window. It’s the same lighter he’s had since you first bummed a cigarette from him when you were thirteen.
Leaning towards him you put the cigarette into the flame, inhaling deep— the cowboy killers burning the pinky tissue of your lungs. He flicks the lighter closed with a metallic snap and smiles out of the corner of his mouth at you. Suddenly your lungs aren’t the only thing burning.
“Thanks,” you say, trying to avoid the skips in your stomach, “I usually prefer menthols, but I guess, these’ll do,”
“Always gotta bust my balls dontchya?” Eddie laughs, a stream of smoke billowing out from his nose. “Hey, uh— I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but that gas station is rated 5 stars on the creepiest place in town.”
You glare your eyes at him, absolutely not having it, “they have cheap gas.”
“There’s a reason for that, and every drug dealer in town sells out of there,” Eddie scolds.
“You would know,” you say in a hateful tone.
“You’re right,” Eddie protests, looking at you earnestly, “I would know— it’s not a good place to be— no matter what time of day, so stay away from it.”
You knew he was trying to look out for you, and from what Steve said, — he blamed himself for the things Chad did to you. But it was never his fault, he didn’t know just like most of Hawkins didn’t. You lived with the Wheeler’s and not even they noticed until you walked home that night. You decide to let it be. For once in your life agreeing to what he had to say.
“Alright,”
-
Boom’s was on the opposite side of town, the rest of the drive you listened to Eddie hum along to the radio and snuck a peek at him playing air guitar. Despite him being so foul, and a royal pain in the ass, he was actually a decent human being.
No other men in their twenties could help you through your panic attack, aside from Steve. But Eddie? He was different from Steve in ways that you couldn’t grasp. You didn’t find yourself staring at Steve. Even if you had been swimming with him on more occasions than you can count. Sure he was good looking, but you never once understood why the girls at the pool practically flocked to him. Eddie hardly ever wore a shirt around you and your stomach ached each time you saw his broad shoulders and tattoos. Steve was like a brother to you, he scolded you and gave you advice, all with his hands permanently attached to his hips. A mother hen among his friends. Eddie teased and taunted you, his irritating behavior and the way he chewed his food, the way his hair was everywhere in the bathroom, the way his hair looked when he was fresh out of the shower, a towel slung on his hips. The way his hips made a ‘V’, small trail of hair from his belly button to his waistband. Fuck.
Is it hot in here?
What the hell were you doing?
There’s no way.
No fucking way.
Nope, not today.
Not ever.
..
But what if?
-
Eddie couldn’t understand what was going on with you in the passenger seat. Instead of bitching at him like normal, you were staring out the window. Looking as if you were fighting a storm in your cute little head. Maybe you were reliving the past. Silently suffering through something that he should have been there to stop. But judging from your reflection against the dirty window, you didn’t seem to be crying.
After that night, Eddie was putting in more effort to make sure you felt safe. He gave you distance. Avoided the bathroom in the morning, and stopped making dick jokes altogether. He still joked around, still acted like an idiot— but his perverted meter was dipped into the green zone, the safety net.
He meant what he said, you didn’t have to be afraid with him around. And he would do whatever he could to prove that to you. So when you called Boom’s earlier and asked for help— he dropped everything to make the trek across town to pick you up. Especially when you told him the gas station you were at. Known for being the skeeziest one in town, he worried about you being there alone.
Seeing the tow truck pull into the parking lot, Sean and Aaron had their noses pressed against the glass, the cheap flimsy blinds hung crooked over their heads.
“Damn,” Aaron exclaims, “you were right, that is her.”
“Told you, Munson hasn’t shut up about her since he moved in. Wonder if Chad knows where she’s been hiding.”
-
Eddie parks the tow truck and you both climb out. He gives you the keys to his van and tells you he’d be right back. Walking into the shop with a whistle on his tongue, he goes into Boom’s office. He’s sitting at a worn down wooden desk. Papers, and receipts clutter space where a framed family picture might be. A steaming styrofoam cup of coffee in Boom’s left hand suggested he stopped at the donut mart, and a dozen of glazed holes from heaven would be sitting in the break room, their sweetness tantalizing the crew all day.
Eddie raps his knuckles against the yellowed paint by the door frame.
‘Yep,” Boom chirps without looking up, reading the daily arrest records in the Hawkins Post.
“Hey, I brought Tooty’s Escort back, I’m going to bring her to work quick and when I get back I’ll move it.”
“What’s wrong with it?” Boom gripes, not looking up from the paper, sipping the coffee slowly.
“Dunno, I’ll take a look at it— “ Eddie shifts his weight from one foot to another, “I was wondering if I could maybe work on it after hours, or on the weekends.”
Boom considers what Eddie is saying, “off the clock?”
“Yeah, or maybe I could take some of my tools home? Work on it there?”
Boom thinks for a while, taking a sip of his coffee. His pudgy finger hovering near the name “William Hargrove” mulling over if he knew him. He finally looks up, “Whatever you wanna do, Eddie, you’ve got keys—I trust you.” Boom offers, “just don’t let those other two jackasses know what you’re doing and who for— that’s all they’ve been yappin’ about since you left this morning.
Eddie rolls his eyes, “I’m just helping out a friend, don’t know why they give a fuck.”
“Personally, I don’t give a shit— but you’re my best mechanic, and those other two are on their last strike with me. One more time I read their name in this paper and they’re both out of here, and when that time comes— I’m sure they’ll be lookin’ for someone to blame.”
-
The familiar scent of stale weed and a spilled rotting beer in the back of the van flood your nose. Even though his van was a dirty pile of shit and it stunk like hell, you’re thankful for Eddie taking time out of his day to help you.
He could have easily told you to fuck off, hung up on you the minute you called. But he didn’t. He kept good on his word even when he didn’t have to. He doesn’t owe you anything and yet here he was, proving to you again, that he could be someone to rely on. You peer at him through your lashes, falling deep into a spell of fondness. He was always clean shaven, showing off his babyish features. If you didn’t know his age you wouldn’t guess he was over twenty two, his youthful pale skin a glow like the moon across a lake at midnight. The deep browns of his eyes squint in the bright sun, his dark eyelashes almost kissing his cheeks. His thick ringed fingers tapping on the steering wheel as ‘Holy Diver’ plays gently in the background. The bob of his Adam's apple jutting out as he swallows and takes a drag from a cigarette.
You barely recognize your own voice when you say barely above a whisper, “thank you, by the way— not just for today but for the other night,” your fingers go back to the same nervous habit, twiddling the end of your cream lettuce hem shirt.
“Of course,” he says, a look of shock on his face, “I know I like to give you shit, but I wouldn’t leave you stranded somewhere.” He looks over at you lazily and smiles. The kind of smile associated with cool guys on tv, the kind of smile that’s crooked and truly only on one side of the face. And for the first time, you smile too, letting the warmth radiate through your body, venturing into places that you have to readjust your crossed legs to avoid entirely.
Pulling into the backlot of the salon, where you and Nancy smoke cigarettes and read trash magazines, you jump out thanking him again, the creak of the door slamming back into the frame as you wave goodbye.
“What time?” Eddie yelled after you, silently admiring the way the sun catches your face, highlighting your features, the slight breeze catching your hair, he can’t help the smile that dances on his lips. “What time are you off work?”
Walking back to him, he’s leaning his head back on the head rest, an arm hanging out of the window, a stupid grin on his face.
“My last client is at five and it’s just a cut, so probably six o’clock, why?” A creep of jittery shock threatens your nerves, fluttering your stomach and sending waves of fluster through your body.
“Thought I’d pick you up, unless you wanna walk home?” He smirks, tracing the small paint chip near where his fingers set on the door.
Biting your lip and moving back on your heels you make your way back to the door, “Okay.”
“Alright, I’ll be back at six.”
“Six” you repeat, turning on your heel and walking into the salon.
-
Eddie has thought about you all day, the cards of life and the hand you were dealt were shitty. But he was happy he was around to help in any little way he could. He thought maybe he was crazy, seeing shit when you smiled at him, a sort of shyness in the way you flirted by dipping your head into your shoulder almost giddy at him picking you up.
But that couldn’t be.
-
The rest of your day was monotonous. Shampoo sets, perms, cuts, rinse and repeat. The long haired metalhead hardly left your mind. When it’s just you and Josie left in the salon after your last appointment, it’s 5:30. She sits down, exhaling loudly. Her long dark braids trailing to her waist, cascade down the length of the chair as she leans back.
“Broke down again? Girl, you need a car that actually works.” Her hot pink fingernails dip into a bag of skittles, popping them into her mouth.
“I know,” you sigh, throwing yourself into your salon chair, “hopefully in the next few months I’ll have enough saved to get myself a new one.”
“So how did you get here? If we had someone else in the salon today I would have came and picked you up,” her mouth puckered into a sucking expression as she pops another skittle into her mouth.
“My roommate… he works at Boom’s so he towed it there and then brought me to work,” you express nonchalantly.
“Ooh the rich one who you used to work with?”
“Steve?” You say with a laugh, “No, Eddie Munson.”
“Eddie Munson? Why does that name sound so familiar? Ohh the infamous Hawkins bad boy, my cousins used to run around with him, some club or somethin’ ”
“Yeah, that's him, he’s turned himself around quite a bit since high school though.” The annoying need to defend him is obvious in your tone.
Josie’s eyes go wide, “Wait—“ she says, pointing a pink nail at you, “he had a girlfriend. He’s living with you? Shit, you’re a brave one.”
Heat creeps to your cheeks, the thought of Eddie having a secret girlfriend that you didn’t know about was almost torture on your soul, “no, no girlfriend… that I’m aware of at least.”
Speak of the devil and he will be present.
Opening the door with the sun waning behind him, peeking an orangy-yellow glow through his unruly curls, stood Eddie. His coveralls are full of motor oil and brake fluid. Black grease is smeared across his face, and his hands. Bandana still snug around his head.
“Oh shit,” Eddie blurts, eyes scanning around the room, bouncing from your face to Josie’s. Clearly uncomfortable in such a clean establishment. “Sorry, I’m uhh, a little early.”
Josie’s eyebrows are turned up in shock, her mouth slightly agape. “Damn, you’re the roommate!?”
Before she can embarrass you any further you blurt, “Josie, this is Eddie,” holding out a hand and pointing, introducing him to her, “Eddie this is my boss and the owner of the salon, Josie.”
Eddie waves with his fingers, “so you’re the one lookin’ after our girl here, the mechanic?” Josie asks.
“Uhh, yeah that’s me.” he puts a hand on the back of his neck and rubs it slow
Josie stands and walks towards you, a clicking of her heels and munching on her candy as she grabs your hand and drags you upwards, dragging you to the back of the salon.
Eddie looks around the room. The salon is decorated in light washes of pink and green and flowers decorate almost every surface, White painted baskets hang from the ceiling holding fake flowers. The salon chairs are black as are the mats under them. Green sinks in the back and cabinets overhead. Two mirrors on each wall and station with a name and family pictures decorate them. Eddie can’t help but notice that where you were sitting, there are only three pictures. A photo of you and Nancy looking like it was taken last summer, you’re holding up the keys to the blue ranch style house he now calls home. Another picture is of you Robin and Steve, in green Family Video Vests in front of the counter. You and Robin are both pulling one of Steve’s ears and he’s making a monkey face. The last picture is of you and Eyeball as kids, a portrait more than likely taken at a JC Penney’s.
“Don’t forget to lock up, okay? Enjoy your day off tomorrow. Eddie, be good to her!” Josie calls from the back, the heavy metal door slamming as she leaves for the night, a smile painted on her lips, shaking her head.
You walk back towards Eddie, he’s sitting in your chair, poking around at all of the different brushes and curling irons that were on your station. Your tired eyes scan him and find him in the mirror. “What is all this shit?”
“My tools to style, cut and color people’s hair.”
You’re standing behind him. You hesitantly grab one of his curls in between your fingers, noting how silky and smooth his hair is despite the split ends. “You could probably use a trim, Eddie. When was the last time you had your hair cut?”
“You think these curls have been in a salon? Please! I cut it myself thank you,”
“I can tell,” you mutter under your breath, going full hog and untying his sweaty bandana and tossing it onto the counter. “Come on, let’s go wash your hair, and then I’m gonna give you a trim.”
“You’re not cutting my hair.” Eddie protests, arms crossed and resisting.
“Your ends are dead, if you don’t take care of it now, it’ll keep going further up and then you’ll have to shave your head.”
Eddie practically trips standing up quickly. “Those are fighting words.”
“Do you really think I’d do that?” You ask in a bored tone.
“Actually no, but— okay fine! Only because you went to some fancy school.”
Eddie stomps over to the sink and sits down with a plop in the smooth cushioned black chair. You follow behind him and place your apron back around your neck, tightening it around your back. You lean his chair back telling him to lift his head from the headrest as you gather his curls into the basin.
Turning on the water and testing the temperature on your wrist, like a mother testing a bottle making sure it isn’t too hot for a baby, you gently put the spray into the ends of Eddie’s hair, gently working the spray up the length of his head to his scalp.
“Is the water okay?”
“Ow, holy shit!” Eddie yelps, his body flopping around like a fish out of water. You immediately turn the faucet the other way, apologizing profusely until you realize Eddie is shaking with laughter.
“Oh fuck, … you…” more laughing as he chokes out his words, “should have seen your face.” He mimics your face and bursts into a fit of giggles, you aren’t sure how long he would have kept it up if you didn’t put the hose directly into his face and throw a towel at him.
“Wipe that grin off your face or I’ll wax your eyebrows.” You spit at him, letting out a small laugh.
Mumbling from under the towel is faint but you swear you hear the word bikini.
Eddie finished cleaning his face and lays his head back into the sink again, you don’t ask this time but immediately start wetting his hair. “So,” he says, closing his eyes, so water won’t get in them, “I think I figured out what is wrong with your car.”
“Oh really? Is it going to be an easy fix?”
Not wanting to admit to you that he was working on your car for free or that he would borrow as many tools as he had to to get your car fixed, he settles for a half truth.
“Shouldn’t be too bad, gotta get some parts ordered for it.”
You let out a groan, “oh God— how much are they?”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“What do you mean?”
“Exactly what I just said, don’t worry about it, now treat me like one of your clients and tell me all the hot gossip in your life.”
Taking three giant pumps from the white shampoo bottle in the cabinet, you gently massage it into his scalp. Letting the cool smooth pearlescent liquid suds up. His hair feels like brown ropes of silk in your hands. All the years of having your hands in someone else’s hair were nothing compared to the odd feeling of lightly working the suds into Eddie’s mane. Baby soft. Luxurious in ways that contradicted the metalhead image he wore so well like a coat of armor.
You weren’t the only one admiring the way his hair felt in your hands.
Eddie is fighting hard not to melt into a puddle right there in Josie’s salon. Your hands were like magic against his scalp, your nails lightly scratching small circles against his skull. He was sure he’d fall asleep if he kept his eyes closed for any longer. It was the closest thing he could compare to what heaven would be like. Hints of tropical coconut mixed with crushed pineapple filled the air. He didn’t even realize you were talking until he opened his eyes and caught a glimpse of your mouth moving over him. Your face was concentrating on the story that you were telling, but it fell on deaf ears. He was in a trance. The scrape of your nails against his head was almost pornographic to him. The way your eyes were trained on the job at hand. The way your lips parted and moved as you told the story. The animated look in your eyes, sparkling with each slow blink, your eyelashes teasing him.
He had never noticed the features of your face before. Usually if he was this close you were staring up at him and pointing one of those glorious fingernails into his chest, yelling at him— eyebrows pulled in, your face set in a scowl. But now here you were, scratching an itch he didn’t know he had. Filling a void he wasn’t aware was missing. He could die right now and he wouldn’t even know it. It was almost orgasmic the way you were making him feel, all with just simply washing his hair.
He caught himself before you could notice it. He crossed his legs and willed himself to think of anything else. Shutting his eyes and imagining the least sexy thing he could think of. Not wanting to ruin the moment between you both and make you never want to trust him again because he had got an accidental semi while staring at you while you were wrist deep in shampoo, scrubbing his scalp like a woman in the 1800s washing clothes on a board in the creek bed.
Nobody had ever washed his hair before, that he could remember at least. He never wanted it to end.
“…but that’s crazy right? Like she’s a psycho!” The hazy fog of lust finally left Eddie’s mind, his other four senses returning. Looking at your face and seeing that you were hurt by the story you had explained, and ashamed that he wasn’t even listening, he agreed, not even knowing if he should.
“What a bitch.”
You giggled, smiling down at him. Finally realizing you had been scrubbing his hair for almost five minutes, lost in the story. A stupid distraction to force yourself away from the feeling of the silk length of his hair, the way it felt in your fingers. Not wanting to let it slip away. You gather it all in one hand and grab the hose with the other, starting at the crown of his forehead, you rinse the suds from his hair.
Bubbles circle the basin. Disappearing down the drain along with the same shared feelings of lust and yearning. Shoved down deep away from the surface, hidden beneath hardened surfaces, shielded away from the inner depths of the softening heart.
-
You ended up cutting half an inch from Eddie’s curls, careful to not lose yourself in his hair again, almost cutting yourself in the process. Hee watched with wide sad brown eyes with each snip. “It’s like I’m watching you cut parts of my soul away.”
You roll your eyes, “It’ll grow back, and when it does it’ll be healthier and longer.”
His bangs were the next to be trimmed, not even half an inch taken off. You place a leave-in conditioner spray to keep his curls soft and to help with the tangles. Knowing full well that Eddie didn’t even own a hair brush.
When you finish and are sweeping up his curls, Eddie stands shaking his head like a dog and running his fingers through it. “Alright, I’ll admit, it does feel better.”
-
Since the agreement was made for the band to practice every other day of the week in the garage, Eddie had been bringing you to work, and picking you up. On days the band wouldn’t be practicing, when he dropped you at home, he would leave immediately after, sometimes not showing up again until midnight. Coming home tired as all hell, and just like you had done weeks before, a Tupperware of food with instructions on how to warm it up taped to the lid, would be waiting for him in the fridge, each and every time.
There was no more yelling from you when the three members of Corroded Coffin showed up. There were also no more beer cans or greasy food wrappers on the ground either. Instead a trash can sat in the corner, and Eddie paid for pizza after you ordered it.
Actually the band was pretty good. You would never tell him that, that would simply go to his head. And with the ego he already had, he didn’t need another boost of confidence, leave that for the groupies. So every Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday night the band got together, playing covers from their beloved 80’s metal Gods and sometimes original songs they would write. All of them thankful that you let them practice in the garage, Big D picking you up into a bear hug and swinging you around like a rag doll.
“Jesus Christ, D, this is why the ladies run from you, you’re too aggressive, put her down!” Eddie barks. A pang of burning in his chest at the sight of you in someone else’s arms.
Big D sets you down and apologizes, “sorry Toots, and hey speaking of ladies, whatever happened with you and those hotter than hell twins?”
“Oh shit, Gareth hollered, “Fuck dude they were all over him, surprised he’s even able to walk with the way they were strung around him like cats in heat. You usually can’t wait to tell us about it, bragging until the next gig about it at least.”
“That’s cause he probably didn’t do shit, too chicken shit to handle them.”
Your stomach flips, so it wasn’t something you remembered wrong, there were two girls that Eddie had brought home that night. A strange feeling of angst washes over you, coating your mind with uncertainty mixed with inadequacy. Your cheeks warm, embarrassed by the way you are feeling. Excusing yourself to go order the pizza, you don’t see the way Eddie dismisses the guys, blowing them off with a “why don’t we keep our sexcapades to ourselves.” Or the way he throws a full beer at Big D.
-
After ordering the Corroded Coffin special, two large pepperonis, two large sweet and swine, and an extra large order of cheesy breadsticks— you go into the cupboard and bring out several bags of chips and five paper plates. Your favorite, sour cream and onion, and Eddie’s favorite, cool ranch Doritos. You let your mind wander. Thinking about him with those two girls. Realizing this is probably where he went at night after he dropped you off.
No need to feel like that when he was just your roommate, you shake the jealousy from your head. Just Eddie. Barely a friend. Yet he was still going out of his way to take you to work every day, till doing the chores you both shared. You let the silly feelings drop, carrying the chips and plates to the garage, shutting the door behind you. Pulling up your usual lawn chair, listen to the band play and finish painting your toenails.
When the boys end the song, they start again on the conversation they had started before playing, “dude I’m not dressing up as KISS again this year,” Jeff whines to Gareth “took me forever to get that white paint off my face. And don’t even get me started on the eyeliner.”
A spray of beer soaks the ground as Eddie spits it out, laughing hysterically about the memory of watching Jeff struggle lining his eyes like Paul Stanley. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, “yeah I agree, I’m not painting your ugly mugs again this year, what else are you thinkin’?”
“We could all be different villains from scary movies. Freddy, Jason, Michael Myers’s, and Pinhead.” Big D suggests, taking a drag from his cigarette.
“Nah, no chicks wanna fuck something scary. I don’t know about you— but I tried all of last Halloween to get some tail and no girl would even look my way with all that clown paint on.” Gareth huffs twirling his drum sticks in his fingers.
“What about you Tooty?” Eddie asks earnestly, “Do you and Robin go bar hoppin’ on Halloween or do you usually stay home like an old lady knitting sweaters and handing out black licorice and molding fruit?”
Making a face at him, you paint the last coat of polish on your toe nail. “Actually, Nancy and I usually throw a party. Costume contests, kegs, beer pong… we kinda go all out.”
Eddie picks his jaw up from the floor, scoffing, “no way— Nancy Wheeler and you, throwing a rager on Halloween? I don’t buy it.”
“Call Steve and ask him, he’s the reigning Cherry Lane Halloween costume contest winner for two years running.” You say with a smirk on your lips, stretching your legs and crossing them at your ankles, the pretty maroon polish catching the dim light in the garage. “You guys are more than welcome to come, obviously it’s on Halloween night, and the only stipulation is to bring a good costume, and $5 for the keg.”
Eddie moves his tongue over his teeth, twisting his body to look at his band mates, all three of them shrugging and nodding. “Yeah, we’ll be here,
“Yeah, if you think you’re up for it. Sure.” You say nonchalantly.
-
The smell of mildew and damp carpet currently being air dried with a fan stung your nose. The soggy basement and the crumbling foundation of Sally’s Secondhand in downtown Hawkins was a hidden gem and only open in the afternoons on Mondays and Wednesdays, but they had decent prices and good quality items when you were in a pinch if you could learn to breathe through your mouth for the time you were there.
“So how’s the roomie situation going?” Nancy asks, holding up a hand mixer with two mixing parts and a wooden handle labeled for .10¢. You had scored gold when you found a gently used, practically brand new waffle iron. It was wedged between two cook books for only $2. The same one Karen Wheeler had used on Sunday mornings. You were hunting for discounted Halloween decorations still not sure on what you were going to dress as and Halloween was this Saturday, Nancy was searching for spare camera parts for Jonathan and a toy cowboy hat for her costume that she wouldn’t tell you about.
Putting a masking taped bundle of forks into the blue plastic grocery basket, your forks magically kept disappearing everytime Eddie brought leftovers to work, you let out a sigh, “It’s going okay, better than it was in the beginning. He’s fixing my car up and I cut his hair a few weeks ago. I um.. also told him about Chad.”
Nancy stops dead in her tracks, blue eyes wide, her small mouth agape, “wh-what?!” Nancy was shocked at the news, you nonchalantly delivered like saying ‘fine’ when some asked how you were. She knew how frightening that situation was for you, it was scary for her too. Seeing someone she loved and cared about hurt in ways she couldn’t even fathom.
“We ran into him while getting groceries—like a month ago. I had a full blown panic attack, and Eddie, he helped me through it.” You go into detail explaining everything that had happened. Leaving out the part of you being comforted by Eddie and the gentle way his thick hands caressed you while you sobbed into him like a child who lost their cat.
Nancy's face goes from shock and softens into content, “wow, honestly didn’t think he had a caring bone in his body, he always seemed like such an asshole.”
“I mean he still is, don’t get me wrong— I don’t think he’s giving donations to the local churches or anything, but he seems a little more reserved, if you will,” you say, adding a floral embroidered set of towels for every day of the week to your basket.
“Hmm,” Nancy says with raised eyebrows, and nodding her head, a silent confirmation of approval. Always looking up to Nancy, almost as if she was your real life sister, you admired her. She was always put together, whether you were shopping during the week or at home, she was stylish in a way that said, I will run the world, and have dinner on the table at 6. Her white huarache sandals matched her high waisted pink pastel shorts and white button sleeveless blouse. Effortlessly stunning.
Moving along the aisles you and Nancy both finger through the clothing racks. Pulling out neon prints and a pair Madonna—esque white lace gloves, they probably belonged to that muppet singing idiot, Tammy Thompson. Chuckling at how fashion trends in high school were borderline ridiculous. a denim vest in your size with safety pins on each hem gave you an idea for your costume. Finding everything you needed you were ecstatic to put it all together.
The carpet squashed beneath your feet the further you got into the store. The back room held vhs’s, records, tapes, and books. The records were in a milk carton next to a shelf of adult themed books. The fading sharpie written sign reading “Adult fiction for Women 25 cents” posted bold along the top of the shelf. Nancy discreetly placed, “Thursday and the Lady” by Patricia Matthews into her basket, covering it with matching salt and pepper shakers, a crimson tinge to her rouged cheeks.
Diving into the records you flip them towards you as you lazily scan through them. Fleetwood Mac’s Rumours, Thriller by Michael Jackson, Abbey Road by the Beatles, Kind of Blue by Miles Davis, stuck to the back of it was a small single, Ode to Billie Joe by Bobbie Gentry. It had been years since you heard it, tucking it into your basket, Nancy clears her throat nervously, the blush evident in her cheeks, “I’m ready if you are.”
-
The Saturday of Halloween the salon was closed, giving you Robin and Steve plenty of time to decorate for the party tonight. Eddie was working but was scheduled to get off around 5, just in time to come home and get his secret costume on.
Orange pumpkin printed garbage bags filled with autumn foliage lined the streets of Cherry Lane. Toilet paper streamers were in Mr. Derry’s tree, a prank the seniors of Hawkins High did to him every year, including egging his front door. Vinyl witches hung from doorknobs. Plastic ghosts holding jack-o-lanterns littered lawns. Fake strings of cotton resembling cobwebs with bendy plastic spider thrown around like glitter, lay atop shrubs. Orange lights were wrapped around the trees in your front yard, flimsy ghosts made of white sheets were hung from the branches. It was a child’s Halloween paradise.
“Higher, no lower, well now you’re just doing it wrong.” Steve was in charge of Robin who was in charge of decorations. The beer pong tournament would be in the basement, every strand of Christmas lights you could find were lighting the ceiling, table set up and cups in place. The tournament bracket started with Mike and El playing against Jeff and his girlfriend Ash. The kegs would be delivered later. Buckets ready for ice sitting on the deck. Robin and Steve were still arguing over who had the better costume last year. Twisting black and orange streamers together and hanging them in the doorway to the bathroom.
In the kitchen, you’re finishing up the Jell-O shots, small clear dishes full of cherry red jello made with everclear. A bitter threat to anyone brave enough to eat them. The spinach and artichoke dip is prepped in the fridge, along with 10 packages of crescent rolls, 5 packages of hotdogs, the fruit cut and ready to be put into Steve’s horrendous Jungle Juice that you would actively be avoiding. Nancy and Jonathan were bringing pinwheels and rotel dip. Dustin and Susie are in charge of bringing candy. It’s going to be a blast.
-
“Be right back,” Robin and Steve call out as they leave to go get their costumes. Putting the finishing touches on your costume your hand shakes with nervousness while swiping mascara on your lashes, the pre party jitters wracking your nerves. The ring of the doorbell startles you. The obnoxious ringing should be a dead giveaway but you don’t recognize it until the door is wide open and you’re face to face with Jesus Christ himself and three nuns. Or as you knew them, Eddie, Gareth, Jeff, and Big D.
You aren’t sure whose mouth is hanging open more. Yours or Eddie’s. Eddie is wearing a long sleeved cream colored gown, complete with a crimson sash. His usual black leather boots on his feet and a crucifix in his hand.
Eddie is the first to laugh, hands held out like he’s blessing the house before he enters it. “Aww sweetheart, you really are my #1 fan aren’t you?”
You are dressed as the most annoying on the planet, pain in the ass, voted most perverted of all of Hawkins: Eddie. When shopping with Nancy you found the vest, adding a few hand sewn patches and the best replica of Eddie’s DIO patch on the back, even shoving a pack of reds into the pocket, it looked pretty good. A twin of the aforementioned jackass. Borrowing Nancy’s cheap leather jacket when she went as Sandy from Grease last year, and putting holes into a pair of jeans and washing them as many times as you could to fray the edges, it was perfect. Complete with a horrible curly wig that you thought was a life dog upon seeing it.
“I was going for scary and scary annoying,” you shrug, “think I nailed it.”
“As hilarious and surprisingly accurate your costume is, the real winner for the party is going to be us” He gestured to him and the nuns. “figured I’d go as something that everyone says I need more of and you recognize the boys right? They’re dressed as your friends from work.”
-
The kegs finally show up and Eddie blesses the delivery man before he leaves. Fully throwing himself into character. Dustin and Susie are the first to arrive, dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire and Sally Ride, the first woman astronaut to go into space.
Dustin laughs so hard he cries at your costume. “Oh my God please you have to say, ‘forced conformity, it’s what’s killing the kids!’ Please Tooty Holy shit!”
Mimicking Eddie perfectly you saunter away and scream about society and how good Metallica is.
“Oh haha, so funny Tooty,” Eddie pouts, holding a beer funnel in his hands, “come on Henderson let’s see you put your money where your mouth is.”
-
The backyard is sprayed with foamy beer as Dustin very much can not put his money where his mouth is. Gareth’s up next, chugging like a champion and doing a lap around the backyard like he won a trophy. Eddie and Jeff shotgun beer, Eddie winning by a mile. Laughing and putting his hands in a praying gesture to bless Jeff for his shortcomings.
The rest of the party goers show up, Nancy is dressed like Annie Oakley wielding a fake shotgun and a straw cowboy hat and a long brown dress with fringe hanging from the shoulders. Jonathan and his long haired friend Argyle arrive behind Nancy dressed as Sonny & Cher. Argyle had given up the fast moving life in California once a Surfer Boys pizza arrived in Hawkins. He delivered to the house so much during the nights that Corroded Coffin was practicing that he had your order prepped and ready to go by the time you had called it in. He’d show up so blitzed out of his mind that he’d forget he was at work, sharing his different strains of weed with all the Corroded Coffin boys.
Robin and Steve are in the kitchen, ladling jungle juice into empty cups. The duo dressed as Thelma and Louise, Robin wearing a black muscle shirt and sunglasses, and Steve wore a white tank top with a neckerchief. Both talking in horrible southern accents.
Eddie is standing next to Argyle in the living room both holding almost empty cups of the forbidden jungle juice, deep in conversation about something called Purple Palm Tree Delight, but knowing them, it had nothing to do with a lavender paradise. You reach around Eddie to grab a pinwheel, taking a bite when Argyle, clearly stoned, goes wide eyed leaning into Eddie his eyes still transfixed on you he whisper yells.
“Yo, I swear to God, I just saw two of you.”
“Argyle it’s me, Tooty.” You explain standing next in front of them trying not to laugh. “This is the real Eddie, I’m just dressed like him for Halloween.”
Argyle leans forward and whispers into your ear, “Yeah okay man that’s what the aliens would say before they clone us and take over.”
He leans back and takes two big steps backwards, eyes wide in a horrified daze, before disappearing down into the basement.
“Don’t think I’ve ever said this before, but that guy smokes way too much.” Eddie chuckles, downing the rest of his jungle juice and eating the fruit at the bottom of the cup.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” you warn him watching with your own gut twisting as the sweet juices of strawberry slither down his chin and down the slope of his neck.
“Sweetheart,” Eddie says, smacking his lips, “I’m twenty six years old, I can handle my liquor.”
“Okay,” you reply, “just so you know, the fruit soaks up all the alcohol and Steve presoaks it all in everclear the night before. Last time he ate all the fruit he spent an hour in the bathroom crying about his love life or lack thereof. And besides, we have to play in the pong tournament in a half hour.”
“We?” Eddie asks, lips turned up and a slight blush to his cheeks, “I didn’t sign up for beer pong.” His dark eyes pour into yours.
Heat creeps up your neck as you reach for a Jell-O shot cracking the lid off and circling the dish with your finger before sucking it into your mouth.
“I signed you up,” you say, reaching for another Jell-O shot, “everyone had a partner but Argyle and Will, so I paired you with Argyle, and I’m with Will,” you slide your finger around the Jell-O dish and suck the cherry gelatin into your mouth, savoring the bitter bite to your tongue before you crush it between your teeth.
“You better bring your A game Munson,” you say, taking a step into him and poking him in the chest, “because I don’t lose.”
Eddie isn’t sure if it’s the alcohol that’s making him feel this way or you but suddenly he can’t stop blushing, laying the charm on thicker than peanut butter, “oh really?” he asks intrigued, “Well babe, I don’t think you know this but I’m the Forest Hills Trailer Park Pong Champion for eight summers in a row, so technically,” he’s leaning forward now, whispering low to get his point across. Your breath hitches in your throat, you can feel the tickle of his lips against your ear, his hair is brushing against your face, the faint smell of motor oil stuck in his curls, “I never lose either.”
He pulls back and your eyes lock. The heat flooding your cheeks burn, the ache in your stomach travels south and pulses with want. You can’t deny it to yourself, even dressed as Jesus Christ, Eddie is the best looking guy you’ve laid eyes on, and you were melting at the way his dark eyes gazed into yours, a smirk placed on his lips as he brushes his tongue over his bottom lip to catch the remnants of the horrific fruit juice. His eyes never leave yours as he takes the Jell-O shot dish you’re holding and sets it behind him on the table. The tension could be cut with a knife, thick and heavily hanging in the space between you both. Eddie opens his mouth to speak but is interrupted by El screaming for Mike to get to the backyard instead of puking in the kitchen sink. Her Alice in Wonderland wig askew on her head and holding Mike’s mad hatter hat between her hands.
Running to open the sliding door you get it open just in time for Mike to projectile vomit off the deck.
“Christ, what did he eat?” Eddie asks from behind you, “damn Mike you’re such a pussy!”
“His dumbass didn’t eat all day and when he got here he decided that Jell-O and fruit would be a good option.” El says, rubbing his back as he pukes again and again, “I don’t feel bad for you Mike!”
Wiping his mouth on his forest green jacket sleeve, he murmurs, “Babe, I’m fine, seriously, a few pieces of bread and I’ll be in tip top sh—“ puke splatters wetly against the grass again.
You grab El’s hand and squeeze, “let me know if you need anything, okay?” She nods and smiles sweetly.
“C’mon,” Eddie says behind you, “let’s go so I can kick your ass in beer pong.”
You turn your head, half facing him, “game on, Munson.”
-
The sharpie bracket on poster board continued moving forward thanks to Steve’s basketball knowledge. Jeff and Ash beat Mike and El, Nancy and Jonathan beat out Gareth and Big D in a very close came both opponents having one cup left. Steve and Robin were beat out in the first round by Dustin and Susie, something King Steve would never be living down. Nex on the bracket to play would be you and Will playing Argyle and Eddie. Honestly it should be a piece of cake, a walk in the park. Will wasn’t the most athletic but last year him and Jonathan got second place against you and Nancy so the odds were pretty high. One thing you were absolutely certain of was that you would not be losing to Jesus and Cher tonight.
The basement is packed with everyone besides the ill Mike and faithful El. Argyle and a pink lensed Will are in the corner smoking a fat blunt the sequin jacket he’s wearing sparkles through the haze of smoke and the catches the lights. You haven’t seen him since Nancy and Jonathan’s wedding. But he’s letting his hair grow out, finally letting the bowl cut Joyce insisted on him having all throughout middle school and high school go. Steve has Dustin in a headlock for teasing him about winning against Mr. Hawkins High basketball star of 1985.
“Ya know for once, I was actually good, like really good, Steve overthrew the last cup and it was game over once Susie got the ball. She’s strangely amazing at beer pong. Probably found the mathematical equation from the distance of the table and her elbow to the solo cups.” Robin rambles on, only stopping to get her breath. “How are you? I haven’t seen you all night. Killer costume by the way, if you can’t beat ‘em be ‘em right?”
Robin and her absolute no filter mouth, always make you laugh, linking your arm with hers, “I really like your and Steve’s take on best friends driving off a cliff together to evade police.”
“JESUS CHRIST!” someone yells from upstairs.
Not missing a beat, Eddie can be heard returning the exclamation. “You rang?”
Rolling your eyes and looking his way, you laugh when you see him, holding up his arms in praise.
Robin’s voice bringing you back to the conversation, “Epic right? Steve thought we could be conjoined twins but then decided against it when he figured there was a small chance he could possibly get lucky tonight when that black haired girl at his job kept hinting that she wanted a date with him.”
“What!” you shout, “He never told me this!”
Robin rolls her eyes and takes another drink from her too foamy beer, “he’s nervous, I think he really likes her but doesn’t wanna fuck it up like he does everything else.”
Steve deserved to be happy and to have someone love him. He was always making sure everyone else was okay, you smile at the thought of him with a girlfriend.
“So,” Robin presses, wiggling her eyebrows, “Eddie looks good tonight,” a wicked smile dances wildly on her lips.
“I’m not at all buzzed enough to have this conversation,” you say, taking a peak at Eddie through your eyelashes, he was laughing loudly at something Steve had said, head thrown back, exposing his neck.
Will joins your side, reeking of weed and heavy musk cologne. “Tooty!” He squeals, wrapping you into a tight hug, “the house looks so fucking good I can’t believe it, also I heard that you’re living with Eddie? I’m going to need all the details!”
“It’s so good to see you, look at your hair!” You say holding his arms. Will threads a hand through his hair and laughs a little.
“Thanks, it’s new but it’s kinda growing on me, now, spill it. Tell me everything.”
“Next game!” Nancy announces, advancing her and Jonathan to the next bracket. “Argyle/ Eddie vs Tooty/ Will.”
Will grabs your hand and drags you to the beer pong table, “after?” He asks and you nod your head.
Eddie and Argyle are standing on one end, you and Will on the other. The cups are arranged into a triangle and filled with the warming pitcher of keg beer.
“You ready to go down groveling, sweetheart?” Eddie sings from across the table, eyes squinting when he leans on the edge of the table smiling at you.
Your stomach flutters, taking a long swig of Will’s jungle juice, staring Eddie down as you gulp the vile liquor and fruit punch combo down, “You ready to get your ass kicked, Munson?”
-
“Woo! That’s balls back ba-by,” you sneer, hooting and hollering as Eddie begrudgingly tosses the balls back your way. It was almost as if Argyle and Will weren’t even there, this game was between you and Eddie. You were definitely buzzed, between the warm beer and the Jell-O shots you had eaten you were feeling good.
When you miss the first cup, Eddie makes devil horns at you and howls at the moon like an idiot. You sink the next cup, earning a high-five from Will, and a sly grin from Eddie as he removes the cup and chugs the warm beer. He’s secretly excited that you’re so happy, letting loose, in your element, surrounded by your loving friends. You glowing with a sense of freedom. In that moment when your eyes caught his, he knew he was in trouble, you were wrapped around his finger and he didn’t think of hardly anything else, but you, your beautiful smile, the way your hair caught each light you were under. He was in deep, and for right now, he was perfectly and utterly okay with that.
It’s Argyle’s turn and he surprisingly sinks both cups, being awarded with balls back, as you and Will each take a cup and drink the suds down. Trying to distract him, you whip off your Eddie- esque wig and toss it towards Eddie, shaking your hair out like a wild woman.
Unphased by your antics he does it again and you groan. Four in a row? This guy was half asleep the entire game and all of a sudden he’s an athlete? They only have 1 cup left. Tension rises and the room goes to silence at Steve’s request. Argyle sinks it. Eddie erupts into cheers grabbing Argyle by the shoulders and jumping up and down.
“Redemption attempt!” Steve shouts, giving Will the ball. Will takes it with nervous fingers, blowing the ball to dry it slightly as you chug the last cup. He only has two cups to make. Will tosses the ball and the room goes silent, it feels like it’s in slow motion, or maybe that’s the alcohol. The ball soars through the air, bouncing against the rim of the cup lapping up the foamy beer, before it falls off and teeters off onto the table.
Argyle raises both hands in the air, “VICTORY!” the room erupts with cheers. Will apologizes profusely but you hug him tight, telling him you were happy he was your partner.
“Next game is Jonathan/Nancy vs Jeff/ Ash starting in 20 mins!” Steve hollers. The basement clears out as people go upstairs to use the bathroom and refill their drinks.
You expect Eddie to be gloating, cocky beyond belief. But he’s the opposite, coming up to you slowly, head bowed, upper teeth practically biting his lower lip in half.
“Good game sweetheart,” he says barely above a whisper, “not gonna lie, I really thought you guys were gonna win.”
Holding your chin high, face only inches from his, the brown pools of colored whiskey stare into your eyes. Placing a hand on his chest, the alcohol gives you enough of a push to cross the line. The thin gauzy material of the gown he’s wearing is sticky with sweat and warm from the heat radiating from his body. “Told myself I wouldn’t lose to Cher and Jesus tonight.”
Eddie let’s out a throaty laugh, “can’t believe he pulled that off, he didn’t make a cup all game.”
“Guess you get to continue wearing that tarnished crown, speaking of wardrobe… where the hell did you get this outfit?”
“You know that church across from the police station?”
“The one with the Jesus statue inside?”
Eddie raises his eyebrows and gives you a knowing glance, waiting for you to catch on.
“No way! Eddie! You broke into a church and stole an outfit off of a statue?”
“Amen,” Eddie says roaring with laughter, “ahh c’mon you can’t tell me it wasn’t a genius idea.”
Rolling your eyes, “I wouldn’t exactly call it genius, but funny? Yes.”
He laughs again, “not everyday I get a compliment from myself,” he says eyeing your costume, “you do make a pretty cute Eddie Munson if I say so myself.” he wasn’t even thinking anything of it, just blurted it right out.
Flirting came easy to him almost as a second nature, he was never nervous around women, usually finding the game of sex not just something he was good at but conquered with ease. But this, here, with you? Was a slippery slope. A different game for him entirely. He was a pawn amongst you and you were the queen, striking down whoever came near, holding all the power.
Your cheeks heat from his compliment, blood rushing through your body and warming your skin, he holds your hand to your chest, stroking your fingers with his thumbs.
A thousand bolts of lightening ignite you, he smells like smoke, ashy and burning, the cheap keg beer on his breath as he smiles softly at you.
“Tooty!” Steve calls from the top step, clinging onto it for dear life, “are you down there?!”
You’re the first one to break away, pulling your hand from his grasp, threading them together at the last minute, finger tips clinging to each other like velcro. The flames between you both extinguished fast, no oxygen left in the room to keep it going.
Getting to the bottom step and turning, you give him one last glance and a small smile, before trotting up the stairs to Steve.
-
Eddie opens the patio door to find Gareth and Big D blowing smoke into the sky and talking about the best DIO song.
“Shit man, where have you been? Didn’t your game end like 15 minutes ago?”
Eddie thinks of a lie quick, “Taking a piss why you wanna watch?”
“That’s weird,” Big D questions, “cause Gareth just came out of the bathroom unless there’s a magic bathroom you haven’t told us about.”
“What are you guardian of the toilet?” Eddie says slotting a cigarette between his teeth and flicking his zippo open.
“I mean he’s got a point,” Gareth interjects, “where have you been tonight, turning water into wine? Or are you healing the blind?”
“Cool it, Whoopi,” Eddie bites, “the fuck does it matter where I was or wasn’t?”
“You’ve changed dude. Used to be a ladies man, different chick every night. Smoking and drinking all night watching the sunrise. Fuck man you were hell on wheels. Then all of a sudden you move in here and you’re acting like the Pope, fixing up her car off the clock, bringing her to and from work, you’re like her fucking babysitter.” Gareth exclaims.
“Fuck off man, she’s Eyeball’s sister, and I’m just looking out for her.” Eddie grits through his teeth.
“Or,” Big D suggests, “you like her, I mean you still haven’t even told us about the twins— and you stare at her like she’s about to combust at any moment.”
“Yeah and what do you two know about anything?” Eddie spits.
“Clearly not shit, but you’re all fucking riled up about a girl you don’t like.” Gareth flicks his cigarette and goes inside, Big D following.
The door opens again, “listen man, I’m not in the mood for your stupid fucking advice.” Eddie groans, turning to see Steve standing at the door, an empty pitcher in his hand. “Shit, sorry, thought you were Gareth.”
“Nope kept my habit at home,” Steve says with a chuckle, setting the pitcher on the edge of the deck, “nice party, huh?”
“Yeah,” Eddie agrees, “ya know when Tooty first told me that her and Nancy threw a party every year I didn’t believe it, turns out I was wrong about her, seems to be a theme of mine lately.”
“She doesn’t let a lot of people in, but once you’re here, it means she trusts you, respects you.” Steve explains.
Eddie smiles softly, ashing his cigarette.
“She cares about you, ya know? She might not want to admit it— may even be scared to admit it to herself, but she likes you.”
Eddie gives him a look. Sure you were nicer to him, not threatening to kick him out anymore. You had let the band practice in the garage, even staying out there to hear them play. But that didn’t mean anything did it?
“How many times do you think she’s cut my hair?” Steve inquires, leaning next to the railing on the deck beside Eddie.
“I don’t know,” Eddie says honestly, “a dozen?”
Steve chuckles, “Never, not once, never even offered. You think she made elaborate meals for Nancy when they lived together? Wrong— she barely touched the stove. You move in and she’s changed, for the better. It’s like she’s coming back to life, and the only common thing in that equation, is you.”
Eddie mulls this over, could Steve be right? “I don’t know man.”
“I may not be Mr. Relationship but I do know Tooty, and you’ve softened her edges. Tamed that frightful girl we all love and adore. She’s got walls up, keeping people out, but not around you, not anymore.”
Eddie hangs his head, his heart bursting with sad euphoric bliss. He couldn’t go about this like any other conquest. And with you it would never be how it was with the other women. Faceless broads in mini skirts, praising him, doing whatever he wanted them to. He never saw you in that way. Holding you on a pedestal about the rest. He hadn’t been in a relationship in years. One too many times of being cheated on was enough for him. But you were hurt too, more so than he was. He was still licking his wounds with anything willing and able. You? You were a shell of yourself. He couldn’t act on this like he would with anyone else. He cared about you too damn much to make you feel like you couldn’t trust him again.
“And I know you care about her. Everytime I look at you you’re staring at her like a sad little puppy.”
Eddie looks up then, looking at Steve like he held all the answers to life’s questions. He turns and leans against the deck, elbows on the railing just how Steve was facing the house.
“Yeah, you’re right, I do care about her, more than anything. So what do I do?” He asks Steve.
Steve shrugs, letting out a loud sigh, “keep doing what you’re doing, she knows you care about her, just don’t disappear on her.”
Eddie turns his head from Steve and catches sight of you through the patio doors. He can see you taking a Jell-O shot with El, Robin and Nancy. A sleeping lump of clothes on the kitchen table with black hair must be Mike. You light up the room as you laugh when Robin makes a repulsive expression after taking her Jell-O shot. He can’t hear your full laugh, it’s faint through the glass. But, he doesn’t need to hear it to know the sound—having heard it more and more the last few weeks, the way you throw your head back when something is really funny, sometimes covering your mouth. He’s certain he’s never seen anyone more angelic in his life. Like you have sucked all the air from the room, even dressed in a sheer mockery of him, you’re radiating a glow that makes his heart swell. He has never cared about anyone the way that he does for you.
Seeing him through the doors standing next to Steve, he has a smirk on his face. A sudden rush of shyness creeps up your neck and you turn away from him, but you reciprocate his actions, smiling at him. A small gesture that melts him on the spot.
Eyes trained on you but still talking to Steve, Eddie beams, “I’m not going anywhere.”
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A/n: see you in volume vii
Hope you all enjoyed this. There were some little hidden Easter eggs in this chapter, go to my askbox if you found them 💕
readmore eat my ass or this line you decide, whore.
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Today on CHUNK! FUNK! GUNK! We rate
the Giant Isopod (Bathynomus Giganteus):
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1/10 Chunk
4/10 Funk
0-1/10 Gunk
Giant isopod!! These guys are almost all exoskeleton, so normally I would give them 0 chunk. However, they are round and kind of chunky and I am biased (*´-`) Giant isopods aren’t the most unique in their appearance. They look just like regular isopods. BUT, they are gigundamundus and for that, they earn moderate funk. And last but not least, I couldn’t find anything about them secreting slime or mucous so I’m left to assume that if they have any, it is very little to none. Low gunk.
Overall Rating: 9.5/10
I like bugs. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Really though, I love isopods!! When I learned that there was one that was around 16in (~41cm) I was so excited!! These guys are also important to me because my older sister ADORES them. She’s sketched out an entire pattern for a giant isopod plushie at least 7 times within the past 3 years.
I also really like when creatures at the bottom of the ocean get really big. Ocean Gigantification, I think it’s called? I think it’s funny. Lil bug become BEEG BUG!
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Quick apology to the user that submitted this in April 2023, I’m sorry for making you wait so long–
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hellokittystims · 1 month
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Artwork by Cicely Mary Barker 🧚‍♀️
x / x / x / x / x / x / x / x
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deirdreskye · 1 year
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Commercial I would produce as an advertising executive:
We see a husband approach his wife in the kitchen and he smacks her on the rear as she's unplugging a crockpot full of buffalo chicken dip. Their friends have turned the dining room table into beer pong tournament and the kids are laughing in the play room. It's Super Bowl Sunday.
This scene of domestic bliss plays out before us. Warm laughter, excited shouting as their team scores a touchdown, the wife steals a kiss from her husband between sips of wine. This must be what heaven looks like.
The doorbell rings and the husband grudgingly puts his beer down to go answer the door. Who could it be?
He opens the door and we see the latecomer: a giant slug the size of a man, wet and pink and undulating.
"You son of a bitch!" The husband exclaims. "We didn't think you'd make it! How the hell are ya?"
The slug gives no reply but the husband brings the creature into a warm embrace, its viscous discharge soaking his shirt. "Aw, hell, man," he laughs. "Say it, don't spray it!"
The slug makes its grand arrival in the living room, leaving a trail of slime on the hardwood floors. It receives a warm welcome. "Here comes trouble!" "They'll let anyone in this place!" "You missed the first quarter!"
We are subjected to a montage of scenes from the Superbowl party.
-
The kids excitedly dash in to crowd around the creature. "Mr. Wormy! We missed you!" they exclaim, hugging the thing and getting covered in its ooze. Several orifices around the creature's body begin to secrete a dark, chunky substance and the children begin to greedily eat it, their hands and mouths covered in its oily residue
"Whoa whoa whoa, I didn't raise you kids in a barn!" The mother says. "Go get some cups from the kitchen!"
-
"Yo, Mr. Wormy, you gotta try the buffalo chicken dip. It's to die for!" The husband says. He grabs a dripping handful of the warm orange cream cheese from the crockpot and pushes it into the folds of the creature's flesh.
"Quit bogarting the buff dip, hombre!" "Save some for the rest of us why don't ya?"
-
"Yo, Mr. W, I gotta use the can but I am NOT missing the game. Help me out?"
A sphincter at the top of the slug's "head" gapes itself open, and the guest drops his slacks and boxers to his ankles and climbs on top in front of everyone.
"Hoochie mama, that dip's even spicier coming out!"
"Just don't leave the seat up. Trust me, you'll thank me for that one when you and Stacy get married!"
"IF they get married, you mean!"
A loud belch is heard from the creature and the room explodes with laughter.
-
"Alright fellas, the game is over and the kids are in bed. I think we all know what this means!"
"Oh brother," the wife says, rolling her eyes at the other women. "Boys will be boys!"
The men are seen chanting "Wormy! Wormy! Wormy!" at each other as they take turns fucking the folds and sphincters and orifices that line the creature's body.
"Ah geez, Mr. W! Warn me before I fuck a hole with a gizzard stone!"
"Now THAT'S tight! I think my wife could learn a thing or two from you, Mr. Wormy!"
"And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why we used to call Chet the Two Pump Chump!"
-
As the party is winding down, the men are putting their clothes back on, saying their farewells and getting ready to part ways when the creature starts to heave and convulse.
"You okay, Mr. Wormy?"
Everyone looks on as the creature heaves one last time and a copious amount of murky amniotic fluid begins to pour from one of the creature's holes. The sphincter begins to crown and a human baby is deposited onto the carpet. It has an adult-sized head and the face looks exactly like the husband, goatee and all. It's not moving.
The husband nervously tugs his collar. One of his friends calls out, "Check please!"
The wife comes back from the kitchen holding a roll of Brawny paper towels, a playfully annoyed expression on her face.
It's not a good party if things don't get a little messy. Brawny's got you covered.
959 notes · View notes