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rynhaswritersblock · 4 years

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quaranteens (hc) | p.p.

summary: how you and petey boi spend your quarantine <3

i'm not even writing a warning for this one at this point y'all now how i write HAHA

+ + +

- covid-19

- coronavirus

- lil shitbag asshole virus

- Y'ALL KNOW THE DEAL

- it's QUARANTIME WITH Y/N AND PETER

- let's get it !

being quarantined with peter parker at avengers headquarters

- lots of animal crossing

- like lots

- you and peter visit each other's islands and it's SO FUNNY

- you keep BONKING each other on the head with your nets

- you shake a tree and a wasps nest falls out

- naturally you yell "SHIT" and steve yells "LANGUAGE"

- so you start fucking SPRINTING (in the game lmao) TO RUN AWAY FROM THE WASPS

- AND POOR PETER GETS STUCK IN THE MIDDLE OF IT

- AND THE WASPS START FOLLOWING HIM

- AND HE GETS BIT

- you start fucking WHEEZING

- you cannot breathe

- peter just sets the switch down and throws his head back, letting out an annoyed groan/yell

- "bitch ass motherfucker" he whispers as he picks the switch back up

- let's not forget to mention the fact that

- the entire time you and peter are playing

- the two of you are like intertwined

- most of the time your head is in his lap or vice versa

- like y'all get into the WEIRDEST POSITIONS on the couch

- sometimes steve or tony or nat or any of them really will walk by and be like "wtf... kinda cute doe"

- but it's so comfy!!!!!!

- and when y'all play at night it's of course in your rooms

- usually it'll start with the two of you separated

- and then one of you is usually like "why the fuck are we apart right now" and goes into the other's room

- then y'all will get all close to each other and play and there'll just be occasional giggling and tiny conversations and cussing here and there

- peter just starts to HARASS one of ur villagers

- you get a little upset but it's AL so you're like... lol not my problem

- one day peter shows you this tiktok where some couple was playing together and it was like "how me and my bf are spending quarantine apart"

- AND THEIR CHARACTERS ARE LIKE... FUCKING

- BUT ANIMAL CROSSING STYLE

- ANIMAL CROSSING: NEW HORIZONS. RATED E FOR EVERYONE!!!!!!!!

- but you and peter find it SO FUNNY

- SO NATURALLY

- you know what's coming

- YOU AND PETER COPY THEM

- irl the two of you are DYING in his bed

- like rolling all over the place because you're laughing so hard

- peter uses a popper as... you know... and you YELL CAUSE YOU LAUGHED SO HARD

- also it's 4 in the fucking morning

- MEANWHILE

- on the OTHER SIDE OF THE HALL

- sam is FED UP

- !!

- he's like what in the everloving HELL are they DOING!!!

- so

- the man enters the premises like

ಠಿ_ಠ

"what the hell are you two-"

"look!"

- you can barely get that word out because of your laughter

- but you hold up the switch

- sam watches and realizes RIGHT AS PETER USES ANOTHER POPPER

- HE SEES THAT YOU'RE LIKE LAYING DOWN ON THE BED AND HE'S STANDING IN FRONT OF YOU AT YOUR FEET

- the LOOK on his face

- he fucking smiles and buries his face in his hands, shaking his head

- when he finally composes himself his eyes are fucking

watering

"i might just have to get that game.."

- okay that's it for the animal crossing section of this imagine lol i'm obsessed with this game AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE IT

- I HAVE WATCHED FAR TOO MANY VIDEOS

- OKAY MOVING ON!!!!!!!!!!

- the AMOUNT of TV the two of you watch

- the two of you alternate shows you pick (so like peter chooses then you then peter etc etc)

- peter chooses b99 (bae)

- y'all finish that shit in a WEEK

- then you recommend euphoria

- he's like uh okay

- cause he knows how inappropriate that show is lol

- so every time there's a dick on the screen he covers your eyes

- and every time there's b00bies on the screen you cover his

- and some point he's like

"y/n you do realize that i've seen boobs before"

- you're like

- i mean yeah but i refuse to think about that because you're supposed to be innocent and pure and a puppy dsfjkdfnkj

- so you retort

"and you do realize that i've seen a dick before?"

- peter is the more jealous baby

- he pauses the show and shifts his body towards you

"wait, where?"

- you cringe

"some kid i'd just met sent me a dick pic.."

- peter's like okay convo over

- the two of you keep watching but now it's more uncomfortable

- at the end of the episode you were watching (imma say episode two lol)

- you bust out laughing

"you know the kid's dick was like... small, right? like i didn't enjoy receiving that picture? it was unsolicited, peter"

- he laughs lightly

"yeah, okay"

- you poke his cheek

"someone's jealous"

- he gasps

"i am NOT jealous!"

"you just don't like the fact that i've seen a dick"

"i guess, yeah"

"peter, i'm going to eventually"

- the poor kid is like we need to stop talking about penises right the fuck now

- SO YOU TWO KEEP WATCHING

- im so sorry for writing that part in haha it just came to mind and it's CONTENT you know and i really feel like it's a realistic convo to have in that situation

- the last episode makes you cry and you don't even realize you're crying until peter holds you closer and wipes the tear off your cheek

- bae

- let's just say the two of you finished euphoria in a day

- okay also

- DANCE PARTIES!!

- the amount of dance parties the two of you had... insurmountable

- like y'all would be training together and a bop would come on and you'd stop punching just to jump around and make complete fools of yourselves

- the two of you had to have a dance party after finishing euphoria because that shit put you in a FUNK

- but yeah

- dance!!!!!!!!!!!

- okay BAKING!!!!!

- y'all made so much food

- cookies

- cake

- pretzels

- brownies

- like

- never going hungry

- half the time the kitchen is a whole MESS but it's okay cause when you do clean it up you and peter throw bubbles at each other and it's great

- steve swears everyone is going to get so out of shape

- so he comes up with a system

- everyone gets snack time together and then thirty minutes later everyone goes and trains to make up for the extra calories

- and lemme just say

- the training sessions go HARD

- everyone is fucking sugar high it's the most chaotic thing ever

- music blaring

- sam and bucky are wrestling

- tony and steve are arguing in the corner (award for most calories burnt)

- nat and wanda are fighting bruce and pietro and nearly kill each other

- meanwhile you and petey boi are seeing who can do the most complicated gymnastics set

- as soon as the boy does a layout you're like okay BYE

- so yeah

- baking!!!!!!

- time for even more fluff

- cuddling

- oh

- my

- god

- you and peter LITERALLY NEVER LEAVE EACH OTHER

- the two of your are in physical contact 99% OF THE TIME

- and that's mainly peter's fault because he lowkey clingy but YOU LOVE IT

- the two of you build a fort in the commons and have movie marathons along with your tv marathons

- occasionally one or more of the team will come chill with y'all

- there's an overall "no judgment zone" that has been declared at headquarters

- aka mind ya own fucking business

- unless someone is literally in a deep state of depression then something needs to be done

- but like

- literally everyone notices how often the two of you are just intertwined with each other

- it's 🅱razy

- also y'all order tons of pizza

- like tons

- thankfully u and peter are like ayo fast metabolism check! (smh i wish lol once i quit soccer it really hit me OOPS)

- OH AND SCHOOL

- y'all are switched to online school

- you and peter-man get really competitive with it to see who can finish all their work the fastest

- thing is the two of you literally have pretty much identical schedules so you end up going at the same pace to work together

- maybe you help each other on quizzes and tests

- no one will ever know

- and overall you two are lowkey thriving in that department because you end up finishing your work for the week in like two or three days and have the rest of the time to just VIBE

- a/n y'all i seriously recommend actually doing that like i get a SUPER big workload at the beginning of the week and as soon as i can i just ZOOOOOM and try to get it all knocked out and it's honestly really helpful

- obviously this can be really difficult for people who aren't self motivated and maybe depressed but i would just try!! if you can!! okay note over BACK TO THE SHITS N GIGGLES

- so yeah

- i don't really have anything else to say but

- overall being quarantined with peter and the team is really nice and the vibes are THERE

- fuck i got another idea

- okay

- it's the middle of the night and you and peter are watching some movie that netflix autoplayed

- the two of you get a notification and look at your phones at the same time

UPDATE: Midtown School of Science and Technology has now been shut down for the rest of the 2019-2020 school year. Online school will continue.

- the two of you visibly shrink

- deadass

- like you just slump over and toss your phone

- you curl up into the boy and a tear rolls down your cheek cause it finally hits you

- this shit is real..

- you sniffle and peter immediately turns to you and wipes your cheek

"hey, it's okay. i'm here."

"i don't know, i just... miss everyone, i guess."

- he nods

- and then he kisses you

- oh so softly

- i'm here

- ...

- okay MOMENT OVER I CAN'T TAKE HOW SERIOUS THAT WAS

- BASICALLY AFTER THAT YOU TWO DON'T REALLY DECLARE ANYTHING BUT YOU DO SPEND A LOT OF QUARANTINE MAKING OUT.... OOPS

+ + +

thank u for reading loves

MWAH

#peter parker #tom holland #peter parker imagines #marvel #mcu #spiderman #peter parker x reader #spiderman x reader #fanfic #fluff #writing #peter #parker #thomas holland

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johnnybby · 7 years

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dating dallas - hcs

requested by 3 anons!

ok well he isn’t the most outwardly affectionate guy

and i mean affectionate in the lovey-dovey, what-a-cute-couple sorta way

it’s really difficult for him to express his love for you in a way that’s clearly understood

but that ring of his that he’s constantly twisting around and tapping on shit with?? yeah, it’s yours now and it’s on a chain he gave you

but he’s 9/10 times looking out for you

of course that’s when he’s not stickin his hand up your skirt/dress, or sliding a hand into your back pocket or pinching ur ass

w him it’s almost always ‘baby’ or ‘babe’

in all honesty if y'all disagree on something, the likelihood that there’ll b a petty argument or constant butting heads on it is pretty up there

dates are actually v spontaneous/casual and not always thought through

he has this thing that if ur leaving to go somewhere and he doesn’t want u to leave yet

he’ll rarely grab u by the arm if ur wearing jeans bc he most often just gently tugs u back by one of the belt loops on ur jeans

he just loveS?? holding onto ur hips??

he’s also the jackass who’ll stick his hands up ur shirt when his hands are cold bc apparently “ur chest is so warm”

if he knows you’re easily annoyed, he’s def the type to bother u!!!

but the thing is that sometimes he doesn’t know when to stop

like even when you’ve had enough, there deadass has to be an argument about him stopping smh

a lot of repetitive and empty one-sided conversations about how dal needs to start acting a certain way

him “yes”-ing you away and then continuing to do the opposite

him being an actual fuckn dick when he’s hungover

ur one of the only ppl that he’ll have a full-blown argument with and still chill w afterwards

and one of the only ppl who can full out yell at dal without getting their lights punched out

amazing (rough) sex???

it doesnt even have to b makeup sex or angry sex to b great, in all honesty

but if he knows u like it gentle, it might take him some learning to be gentle, but it’s passionate af nevertheless

wow jail visits!!!!!!!

being the person who helps scrape up the money to post his bail

bc darry got tired of that shit over time

once, when he got arrested - since many officers just know him by name- they just asked him if he wanted to make any stop and he told them ur address

he was at ur door and he used the tip of his foot to kick the door to knock

u opened the door to see him and then immediately closed it when u saw the officers

the next time he knocked, ur literally just shouting through the door lmao

“OPEN THE DOOR”

“NO”

“IM NOT GONNA KNOCK AGAIN Y/N”

“SO DONT”

“WHY ARE YOU SO DIFFICULT”

“DALLAS THIS IS THE THIRD TIME THIS MONTH THAT THE SAME FUCKING OFFICERS HAVE U IN HANDCUFFS”

“I JUST NEED MY FUCKING JACKET y/N IT’S COLD”

*opens door to hurl the leather jacket at him*

he aint got no hands cause he’s handcuffed so it just lands over him covering his face and shit lmaoo

he has a secret stash of cigs in the case he ever runs out??

it’s located in an old sock in his sock drawer

it’s probably not even his sock it’s probably darry’s or buck’s

after every time y'all get into an argument about whether dally’s goin to a rumble

dally always goes to fight in the rumble

“you’re going to the rumble? yeah well i hope u get punched in the eye bitch”

really nOT a fan of you being passive aggressive to him

but when he gets all riled up and can’t fuck someone up

he becomes THe mOST passive aggressive person evER

but passive aggression is most often how he holds a grudge w u

literally always askin the gangs (yup the shepard gang and curtis + randle, mathews, cade gang) to look out for u while he’s stuck in jail for however long

so if dal can’t b there to make sure ur safe, almost everyone else is tbh

#dallas winston #dallas winston headcanons #dally winston #dally winston headcanons #the outsiders #the outsiders headcanons #dally

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smittenwithlouis · 7 years

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Best of the 🦇 Fic

Aka Waiting On You by @lads-laddylads

This is easily one of my favorite fics so I’ve compiled some of my favorite quotes, lines, and moments from this masterpiece. Enjoy!

⚰️ [Spoiler Warning!] 💉

“You’re feisty for someone so small” [Definition of Louis Tomlinson right here ijs :/]

Harry bites the way he talks, and walks, and kisses, with an intensity that’s somehow on the right side of too much, overwhelming without being overbearing. [ Gentle 🦇 lover Harry tho...need I say more?]

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡WALL SEX!!!!!!!!!!

“What if he saw you up against the wall and taking my cock like this, this desperate for it after you tried so hard to pretend you weren’t interested?” [Lmao gentle lover but then he a nasty™ exhibitionist kinky bastard...excuse me but like...sign me tf up :/ also Niall would be out there pulling a Regina George’s Mom move with a video camera. Lets be real...aslo me as Niall]

"Please, c’mon, bite me again,”....“Baby, I don’t need more—” Harry begins .....”No, I need it, please, Harry, just—” Louis says, and when he sees Harry’s fangs descend, he feels like he could cry with relief [Honestly this scene killed me bc like LMAO he’s gagging to be bitten like...let that sink in for a sec and then you have 🦇 Harry like no no baby I’m good like u don’t gotta but Louis is like BINCH this for my pleasure not u tf...Iconic]

Louis turns around, he sees his clothing from the club last night in a neatly folded pile on the floor [Harry deadass fucking folded Louis’ clothes before he left. Like why is this such a Harry thing to do?When will your one night stand EVER, Lmao I HATE]

They may start humping each other with the next few minutes, and Louis wants to tell them to leave room for Jesus [Louis is such a little binch...why didn’t he leave room for J when he was dry humping Harry at the club?...smh]

“You’re all so fucking full of yourselves and it disgusts me.”....“You were so fucking full of me last week and you didn’t seem disgusted by that” [I SCREAMED SO LOUD LMAOOOOO. Honestly. I’m here for Harry calling out Louis in all his bs. This was iconic]

“Because people get off on being bitten? It’s like...a sexual thing...“Mmmm, no, that’s pretty much just you” [Imagine being that deep in denial or having no once of self awareness. Like kinda felt bad that he didn’t realize his own damn kink but LMAO now all his friends know he gets off on being bitten. Oh Louis hahahaha. Also, Harry being all smug about it. BYE]

Louis gently burrows his feet under Harry’s thigh. It keeps his toes warm [This was just so cute and super relatable cause I literally do the same thing rip]

A young vampire who looks like he’d rather be actually dead than undead and working at Panera [This line LMAO. Idk if many people appreciate this type of humor but I do. I giggled so much]

“I’m a cop and I could report this restaurant for at least three health code violations” [Hahaha he’s so endearing and so aggravating at the same time. But its so cute how he does shit like this and you know on the surface it pisses Louis off but in reality he’s so endeared by it. I’m here for Harry cheating to get what he wants tbh]

“Up we go” Harry says [STOP this was so cute! Literally all I pictured was that gif of that bodyguard picking Louis up like he weighed nothing :’) my smol son...bless him]

“Vampires don’t even fucking sweat” Louis mutters to himself angrily [Okay but how iconic was this scene? Harry is such a damn tease. Louis had been fantasizing about H covered in oil and as if H KNEW he was like I don’t got oil but this water will do...like LMAO. So Louis being sexually frustrated and grumpy like a kitten with a “🦇s don’t sweat” was just so funny lol]

“Are we — are we gonna have sex now?” Louis asks when Harry lays him down.Harry laughs, and that seems rude. Louis and Harry have had sex before, so why not have it again? Louis is in his bed, after all, so he doesn’t understand why Harry is trying to play hard to get. Why else would Louis be in his bed?Louis feels his eyes slipping closed, but he’s going to ask these questions because he wants answers.“Just go to sleep, baby,” Harry says softly, and no. No, Louis isn’t going to do that [The damn nerve Louis has to say Harry is the one playing hard to get BOI lol. But like this scene is so endearing. Like, Harry just saved his ass and Louis is so damn drunk and HARRY CALLED HIM BABY. Ugh its disgustingly sweet. I love it :’)]

“Smaller than I remember,” Louis says, swallowing hard. Harry’s smirk only widens [I’m that gif of that dude looking into the camera like I’m in the office. Like, Louis trying to pretend like Harry doesn’t have a monster**** and didn’t get fucked for an inch of his life is so fucking petty and hilariously embarrassing lol]

“So, I was thinking that we should have sex,” Louis says suddenly, and Harry chokes on his drink [This was so abrupt and just lololol he was so done with being sexually frustrated this was also when I screamed FINALLY BINCH]

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡HANDCUFF SEX!!!!!!!!!!

“I want to watch the Vampire Diaries,” Louis decides finally [need I say more lmaooo]

He reaches for Harry. Harry opens his arms to Louis immediately, burying his face into Louis’ neck, and Louis shivers slightly, rubbing at Harry’s back [this was such a small and tender moment. It was just so cute since up to this point they had rarely been really affectionate like this it just made me feel all asdfghjkl...also tho I felt bad for Niel]

Louis can’t help but scoot closer to him, wrapping his arms around Harry’s torso and clinging to him like a koala bear [this was just cute okay???]

Finally, Harry huffs out a sigh and leans in, giving Louis a kiss on his cheekbone [I live for small little moments like this FUCK ME UP with emotions and feelings rip]

"I have Steve talking about pterodactyl porn, I have Niall speculating about whether it’s legal to marry ducks in the District of Colombia" [shit like this makes me side eye writers tbh like...now I know u’ve seen or talked about some weird shit. Like, Emma how did u even come up with this??? How much pterodactyl porn have u watched? like...I’m not judging u or nuffin but lowkey I’m like how much of a freak is she? Ya feel me? Get back to me on this lmao I need explanations....]

Harry’s shirt is riding up slightly, exposing the trail of hair that leads into Harry’s boxers, and there’s a small bit of a drool pooling on Harry’s skin. Oops [Excuse me but like this is so cute? Louis droolin on Harry...as gross asit may be like...how endearing tho? Again little shit like this is what makes me adore fics so much. Bless]

“Why aren’t you into me?” The words burst out of Louis suddenly, and that definitely wasn’t what he meant to say [This made me feel so asdfghjkl for Louis cause like I felt bad but also it was his fault in the first place but again with him bursting out with his feelings is so cute]

“I was waiting on you,” Harry says simply, and Louis’ heart skips a beat [I SCREAMED SO LOUD LIKE YALL HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I LOVE WHEN AUTHORS PUT THE TITLE IN THEIR STORY OR LIKE THE TITLE COMES FROMA LINE IN THE STORY. BLESS UP]

“I can’t believe you thought I didn’t want you,” Harry says, pulling away just enough to speak. “Do you think I handcuff all of my friends and let them ride me on the sofa?” His eyes are sparkling [Honestly Louis...like wyd boi]

Louis can tell that even in the throes of pleasure, Harry’s first concern is making sure Louis doesn’t get hurt [Gentle 🦇 lover Harry at it again]

Harry bites into Louis’ left ass cheek with his fangs, and Louis cries out loudly enough that he’d be concerned for Harry’s neighbors if he cared about anything other than this right now [How much nastier™ can this get tho? BYE]

Harry reaches his finger down Louis’ crack, teasing gently, but he can’t quite reach where he wants to touch. He makes a frustrated noise and hitches Louis’ leg up, forcing Louis to wrap his arms around Harry’s neck until he’s up against the wall yet again [Y’ALL MOTHERFUCKERS OUT IN PUBLIC LIKE WYD??? LEAVE ROOM FOR JESUS!! So, Harry loves to have Louis pinned to walls and lives for the exhibitionism...me as H tbh]

“I didn’t even hear the goddamn door open,” Louis mutters. “But what’s your excuse? You have super hearing!” [He was to busy fingering u in the bathroom hallway NOT EVEN IN THE BATHROOM but the damn hallway!! :/ Also, did he even wash his hands afterwards? Harry over there talking about health code violations to the wanting to be dead, undead Panera boy but he over here fingering Louis’ ass and not even washin his hands afterwards...ya nasty]

Harry goes full on drama with it and dips Louis right there in the middle of the restaurant [Louis as if ur life doesn’t revolve around drama...sit yo big ass down istg...also this was extra af but cute af so like I’m here for this]

He wraps his larger pinky around Louis’ smaller one as he speaks, and Louis gives him a small smile and nods [THIS IS LOWKEY SUBLIMINAL ADVERTISING FOR PNL. YOU AIN’T SLICK BINCH. I SEE U. Anyways, y’all can read Pinkies Never Lie HERE. Good shit. Good shit...lots of hot sex especially H wearing his rings fingering Louis scene...ijs. This scene was cute too btw]

It was raining that day, and in Louis’ mind’s eye, every rain droplet that hit the car window was there to cleanse him of everything that he had been with Luke [Literally look can CHOKE but I liked this sentence quite a lot]

“And in the last ten minutes, I’ve revised my opinion on your intelligence quite a bit, so for it to go even lower is saying something" [Listen, Nick being involved was quite a shock I will admit...but also he was literally so dumb af in this scene and I love that Harry told him so lololol]

“Louis,” Harry says, and Louis forces his eyes open again. “I love you. I love you so much.” “I love you too,” Louis says, voice quiet and raspy from the damage done to his neck. “Yeah?” Harry says, smiling as he wipes some blood from the corner of Louis’ mouth. “Don’t get cocky about it,” Louis says. His vision is spotty and Harry’s voice sounds very far away. Harry laughs, eyes still wet with tears. “You hadn’t said. Before.” “I was waiting on you,” Louis says, a small smile on his face, echoing what Harry had once said to him [This fucking scene ripped my heart out like wtf SO ASDFGHJKL!!!!!!!!!!!! Like this would be the time they said I love you. I HATE but like I love all at once??? and Like this time Louis was waiting on Harry and IM A MESS FUCC U EMMA U SUCC!!!]

Louis can feel Harry’s fingers tracing a three on his good wrist, and he realizes suddenly that he’s not drawing a three, that he was never drawing a three. He’s drawing a heart [THIS. JFC. Honestly Emma you’re such a sapp...this was so fucking cute and fluffy and asdfghjkl FUCC U]

“But don’t pull a stunt like that ever again,” James says, smiling ear to ear. “I don’t need my lead detective to be the first vampire to die of a heart attack in the history of vampirism” [Lmao me as James...honestly the way Louis attracts trouble...Harry would get a damn heart attack lol]

“Why does everyone always think that arguing is our version of a mating ritual" [Is this binch forreal??? Cause it literally was...they’re bickering and arguing was all foreplay tbh. LOLOLOL]

“Oh Luke,” he says, voice amused. “You still don’t get it. I figured out for myself that I was worth something long before I even met Harry. He was just the first vampire I’d met in a while who believed it too” [YASSSSSSSSS BINCH. THIS RIGHT HERE!!!! IS SO IMPORTANT.SO SO SOOOO IMPORTANT!!! HE DON’T NEED NO ONE TO REALIZE AND KNOW HE’S WORTH IT]

While Harry gets their satanic ritual or whatever it is he’s aiming for going [Hahahaha again with this type of humor. I LOVEEEE]

“A lifetime with you is never going to feel like enough,” Harry says honestly” ... “I guess it’s good that you’re going to have me for longer than that, then,” Louis says [LOUIS GONNA BE A VAMP!!!! FOREVER TOGETHER IM SO HAPPY!!! Also, can we get a sequel? drabble? SUMFFIN?? I vote for hot and hard 🦇 sex ayeee!]

“We were worth the wait” Louis clarifies finally [BINCH FUCK U IMA MESSSSSSSS]

Anyways, this is long af and totally unnecessary but I enjoyed reading this SO DAMN MUCH. I’m in love with this fic. There was a little bit of everything I enjoy reading. I’m still a bit annoyed that I didn’t guess Nick was the second person involved...I was always side eyeing Jeff just cause he didn’t do shit in this fic (funny how art imitates real life lol) and thought it would of been a big WTF lol. Emma, I know this fic was a nightmare at times to write but thank you so much for writing this. Especially bc it was somewhat out of your comfort zone and stuff so I really appreciate it. Okay, Imma stop being sappy and shit but you know how much my weird ass adores fics like this. So, THANK YOU!

Everyone please go read the 🦇 fic if ya haven’t already and if you have...READ IT AGAIN.

Xx.

#this is so long #Is anyone gonna read this?#probs not rip #but here it is anyways #lads-laddylads #waiting on you #fic recs

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abundantmami · 7 years

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Here It Goes

I don’t even know where to begin but I’m going to start at where I fucked up and then back up to everything.

I’m really into this guy and last night I just fucking fucked up. I literally just don’t even know what’s happening with my mind. I feel like I’m losing it. I’ve been in this episode for a hot minute even before I came to New Orleans and he’s gotten the full brunt of it and I feel like a horrible person.

Last night I went on a RANT about MYSELF.

I literally was like “omg these guys are buying me drinks so maybe I’m pretty?” LIKE THREE TIMES! OH wait it gets worse.

“I’m trash, i don’t think you should date me.”

OH WAIT THERE’S MORE

I dragged some shit out about a girl that literally DOESN’T MATTER.

YOU THINK IT’S DONE?

He told me someone pulled a gun out and I just KEPT ON TALKING ABOUT MYSELF.

To be fair, I did take my mood stabilizer and doubled my anti-anxiety meds 30 minutes before drinking. Not supposed to drink on Gabba because it blocks the fucking transmitters with the alcohol, it basically makes it easier to black out.

WHICH I FUCKING DID.

What’s worse is that I literally keep on getting drunk and just spewing absolute shit. I mean just literally unfurling every crevice of my mind onto this guy and it’s so unfair. I’m sure he subbed me and called me a narcissist on fb and I have been moving like one so I can’t even be mad.

Now that’s out the way.

I almost got abducted my first night here. Like literally almost taken into a fucking car, had to fight for my life I’m still dealing with the consequences. I’ve been having these vivid nightmares about it, I also still have a black eye.

This part fucks me up... I told my cousin and she literally just like doesn’t care. I know she doesn’t care because after I told her, she was like “omg that sucks”. Hasn’t called to check up on me either.

Another thing about my cousin... I called her on Mother’s Day because I fully just had a fucking breakdown, and all she said was “my mom tried to raise you, I don’t know what to tell you.” Okay, thanks. That was the phone call. I haven’t spoken to her since. I’m lying, she has reached out to me when I was here, to ask about a file that I needed to export for her. :)

Back to my nightmares.

I also had a nightmare where my step-dad was just absolutely beating the shit out of me and I was trying to fight back and my mom was just there like “yeah, abe hit her!” and he was laughing and everything I did just didn’t hurt him... I don’t remember how it ended but I woke up in sweat. But it’s a dream right? WRONG. It’s totally has fucking happened. Countless times actually.

Onto my wonderful mom.

She messaged me on Facebook on Mother’s Day like at 3 am, I’m sure so I can tell her Happy Mother’s Day. Fake caring about how I am and all this stuff and it was really just dumb. I told her what was going on and that I’m actually having a bit of a tough time. She didn’t offer any help or advice for my situation different from what she always says and hasn’t also bothered since. But according to my grandmother she asks about me all the time and worries so much. Right.

I know my mom fake cares about me because this woman has repeatedly just fucked me over. Oh let’s get to all the good parts.

So moving to New Orleans was a very easy decision, since I was kicked out of my house and then staying at my aunt’s on the couch. Wonderful. Absolutely just a brilliant great time.

Not only was I kicked out of the house but my step-dad called the cops on me AFTER everyone got their hits in. What’s better is that the whole family decided to jump in so I literally was fighting my step-dad, my little brother and my mother. My grandmother was pulling my hair to stop me? I have no real idea but I remember looking at her like “what the fuck are you doing?” I’m getting attacked and your pulling MY FUCKING HAIR. At a certain point you just stop giving a fuck and just wild the fuck out. Which, I did. I wild out AFTER the fact.

Also my step-dad pushed me and my grandmother so hard we both fell, badly. I remember looking at my mom like “this is the man you choose to be with? You come at me about not having self-respect and this motherfucker just pushed your mother and you still riding that dick?” LOL ok. I dated a dirty piece of shit but wow, new lows.

Anyway, after the cops came and took me to the hospital. I went back to pack my stuff and I broke the television. I just literally nudged it over and the whole thing fell and broke. It was beautiful. My step-dad wanted to fight again and I just walked to my room because at that point I was over it. I hope he dies a slow painful long out disease ridden death.

Moving on, my MOM decided to called the cops on me for I don’t know what reason as I was packing my stuff to leave. Because it definitely was not about the television. There was a good 10 minutes in-between that. So in the middle of me packing, I get a knock on my door. I tell whoever is at my door to fuck off. They say it’s the cops. I open the door and I’m like you’re not arresting me. Straight up you’re not fucking arresting me cause I haven’t done shit. In the middle of my anxiety attack I have this cop just came into my room just talking wild shit like he knew what was happening. Backing me up into a corner and I’m like you need to back the fuck off, how am I supposed to pack when you’re literally in my face. I don’t know what the fuck it is about Dominican men. He reminded me of my dad. (I’ll talk about my dad after this story.) He was clearly pissing me off and he was like I’m going to go to talk to your parents and I was like well they’re the ones who called you, so maybe you should have chat with them and let me know what I did this time.

What’s crazy was I remember getting home, wanting to smoke some weed and get ready for a party.

Also, what started this thing was like me telling my mom how I think she needs to go to therapy and back on meds because my grandmother and I are scared to talk to her because she doesn’t know how to act and well... there you go. Here is how bad it is... my grandmother is really sick and waited for my aunt to visit her so she can take her to the hospital because she didn’t want to go with my mom. She waited for days in pain because that’s how intolerable my mom is.

Actually let’s talk about the events leading to that.

My mom called me a fucking bitch because I used her husband’s “cup” as a container. I used it properly because it’s a container, it’s not a fucking cup. Actually she called me more things but that’s really the gist of it and I only heard this from the kitchen.

I had to reset my meds because my mother didn’t feel like going to the pharmacy for me. I would’ve gone but I had school and work and I literally just couldn’t make it in time. I’m on a mood stabilizer and it’s gradual build up and the effects are like after so I basically had to reset like a month of it.

My favorite was when she would tell me that she doesn’t want to talk to me. You came all the way to my mom to tell me you don’t want to talk to me? Okay?

Oh this started because every time I spoke to her she would lecture me until I was like I really don’t wanna hear it. So I literally just stopped talking to her and it was very easy for me. I would tell her too like “hey every time you talk to me, it’s giant lecture or you telling me what to do and I’m over it so please just don’t lecture me.” Also it’s not like my mom is nice to me and tells me things in a loving way, she literally calls me a bitch all the time. She’s been calling a bitch since I was 11. To my face at least. All the time. When she’s not calling me a bitch, it’s a total flip and she's like “why i would never! I luv u. I think ur the best! my beautiful daughter” :D

I don’t want to talk about my emotionally abusive mom anymore. Let’s talk about my non-exsistent dad.

I barely know my real dad but the two times we hung out he acted like he knew my life and my choices and who I was and told me shit like I cared. My dad loves me so much, but he doesn’t call me for my birthday. My dad was in my life for like a good two weeks and during that time he was telling me about another girl who is stupid enough to fuck with him whose pregnant in DR and about to have a baby girl and that he’s moving back to DR to take of his daughter. Let me phrase it better.

My dad who has not been in my life came back into my life and told me he is moving to the Dominican Republic to take care of his daughter.

I didn’t know even know he was living in America.

I literally just looked at this nigga like... u deadass? I’m happy I spoke to him because it gave me answers like why I drink so much.

Of course it was my mom, who told my dad I wanted to see him so this nigga pulls up at my JOB. AT MY FUCKING JOB. I was a barista. This guy walks in and I'm like oh shit thats my dad, okay. Can you leave my place of work? Thanks.

I literally was a fucking mistake. I feel like sometimes I should've been aborted. Not like I haven’t had good times and all that but yeah, mmm yeah.

So circling back to New Orleans.

That night the incident happen was my first day here and I was working at this jazz restaurant. I texted my boss and showed her a picture and she told me I have to get my shift covered. I went in the next time i heard she told everyone that I “apparently got attacked”. APPARENTLY.

Circling back to last night, I need to get a grip. Most importantly I clearly need to work on my confidence because I’m insecure. I need to work on my mental health because I’m traumatized.

I’m trying to move on but it’s really hard. I feel like everyone has had a chance of a fair life except me. I’m not saying that people don’t suffer or have normal childhoods but I’m just saying that I’ve been through so much and I just really think it’s unfair. I don’t think someone should have to handle this much pain. I don’t think that I deserve this.

I can’t get over years of being mistreated in one day.

I can’t get over getting my ass beat all the time and dreading my step-dad taking me to school on Wednesdays because he literally would just tell me the meanest things. I was so young, he literally just broke me. I can’t get over my mom just shutting a blind eye. I can’t get over having a busted lip, or bruises for no reason. Getting my head slammed against a television and blacking out. I can’t get over it. Clearly I’m just psychologically disturbed. I just want to be alone.

Even when it comes to school like I just never had any support. This man literally didn’t do his taxes on time TWICE so i couldn’t fucking get aid and had to take semesters or a year off. What’s the point?

My mom constantly MOCKS my borderline personality disorder. She uses it to make me feel like shit. I called 911 on myself because I was going to do something stupid and immediately after that she just was so rude about it. And like would bring it up as a way to put me down.

All this is making me realize how much hate I have towards her. Not like she’s my favorite person. I just texted her that I hated her so much. I’ve been thinking about it for days, and sending it hasn’t made me feel better. I think she called. I really don’t care, I just want her to know that I hate her. And she denies but she choose a man over me, not just any man but one who CLEARLY disliked me. When I was younger I remember I called the cops on him because I thought it was a stranger. The irony. I wanted a dad so bad and I got stuck with 2 assholes. I’m just over it. I’m closing that door once and for all.

Also you know what bothers me. She never did anything for my anxiety when I was younger. She knew I had abandonment issues and never sought to fix that, another thing she mocks me about. She knew I was depressed and didn’t try to help me at all. Like i just don’t understand whats the fucking point in having a child if you’re not going to be a parent. I remember when I started cutting myself my step-dad said it was cause of TV! Yeah I’m desperately breaking down razors and dragging it across my skin because of TV. I was so fucking depressed. I was in 6 fucking grade.

I guess I’m just a victim of abuse.

I guess this is my life.

I feel like I’ve been robbed of a chance to have a normal life? Like I don’t understand how families work? All I wanted was to go to college and dorm and be far away and I’m 22 now and that didn’t happen. And the way that it didn’t happen was so fucked up. And now everyone is graduating and i’m here.

I’m always here, just fucking here, breathing air, taking up space, trying to be normal and blend in.

I just need a fucking break. A real break.

If summed up my whole life in one word it’d be uncomfortable.

Uncomfortable.

Which makes me anxious.

Which is why I’m just an anxious person because I’m always uncomfortable.

So what would make me comfortable?

Maybe to be loved? I would like to be loved, even when I’m being bad. That’d probably make me uncomfortable because I’m used to be being reprimanded. But maybe that’s what I need.

I think that’s very fair.

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jiilys · 7 years

Text

a love letter: my goaty turns seventeen

@deadgwen BABE. HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT. YOU'RE. SEVENTEEN. MY SESTRA MY BEAUTIFUL MY #1 GOAT AND LIFE PARTNER HAS F I N A LL Y CAUGHT UP TO ME AND I JUST !!!!!!!!!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEAUTIUFUL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MY GOAT. SEVENTEEN. AN ALMOST LEGALLY ALLOWED TO DRINK GOAT. AN ALMOST LEGAL GOAT. CAN'T BELIEVE IT. HOW WE WILL BE BADASS GOATS IF WE CAN NO LONGER DRINK UNDERAGE. THE FUCK ARE WE GUNNA DO. WHO WILL WE BE. HOW WILL BE COOL IF WE CAN'T ILLEGALLY DRINK WE’RE GUNNA HAVE TO GO BACK TO BEING N E R DS OH N O

BUT REAL TALK the birthday post u made me was 985324958320958 words and ofc I could never top u (10,000 WORD EMAIL!!!!!!!!!!!! THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!! I LITERALLY DON’T BELIEVE U!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO CAN DO THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! UR A LYING GOAT OK ILL HAVE TO SEE TO BELIEVE) and I'm not as good with words as u are even tho I'm meant to be the writer here u have like GIFT WITH BEIN A DRAMATIC ASSHOLE and I TRY MY BEST but I can't NEVER TOP U and I DON’T EVEN CARE BC I LOVE U SO DAMN MUCH

DEADASS. U WERE THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENED TO ME IN 2014 BC IT WAS THE WORST ASSS YEAR AND THEN!!!!!!!!! I MET YOU!!!!!!!! AND!!!! THE WORLD WAS SUCH A NICE PLACE WHEN WE TALKED AND PUT U IN MY FOLLOW FOREVER AND U DEAD ASS MESSAGED ME SAYING THANK YOU !!!!!!!!

(AND I've BEEN THINKING GOATY AND ITS STRAIGT UP AND ACT OF GOD THAT WE’RE FRIENDS LIKE THE UNIVERSE WANTED US TOGETHER BECAUSE THINK. OF. OUR. TRACK. RECORD. OF RESPONDING TO SHIT. I AM FAMOUSLY THE WORST RESPONDER OF ALL TIME LEAST WE FORGET LAST MONTH WHEN I ANSWERED 15/1000 ASKS AND THEN CALLED IT A DAY AND U HAVE 583583 ASKS ASKING U HOW U MAKE UR BOMBASS GRAPHICS AND SHIT AND I JUST!!! U MESSAGED ME!!!! THANK FUCKING GOD!!! AND THEN I RESPONDED !!!!! AND WE WERE IN LOVE!!! RIGHT THEN RIGHT THERE WE FELL IN DEADASS LOVE)

AND I REMEMBER TO THIS DAY BECAUSE WE WERE TYPING IN ALL CAPS AND I WAS LIKE !!!!!!!!!! THIS GIRL IS SO BADASS I LOVE HER SHE'S FUCKIN HILARIOUS AND WITTY AND THE BEST AND YOU SENT ME THIS MESSAGE LIKE ‘*GAME OF THRONES VOICE* WINTER IS COMING*’ AND I KNEW. I KNEW THAT U WERE MY PERSON. I KNEW. I FELT IT. MY GIRL. MY PERSON FORVER.

TO THIS FUCKIN DAY I DISTRUST ANYONE WHO DOESN’T LIKE CAPS. U HAVE ACTUALLY AFFECTED MY LITERAL PERSONALITY I USED TO START TALKING TO PEOPLE IN CAPS AND THEY WOULD RESPOND IN LOWER CASE AND I WOULD ?????????? BE LIKE ????????????? THE FUC ???????? WAT ????????????

I LOVE TYPING IN CAPS WITH YOU I LOVE HOW YOU HATE LOWER CASE AND WHEN I TURNED 16 YOU MADE ME A POWER POINT FOR MY BIRTHDAY AND IT WAS BEAUTIUFL AND I CRIED AND YOU HAVE ALWAYS JUST BEEN THE BEST GOAT AND SPEAKING OF GOAT

SHAMEFUL CONFESSION TIME: I LITERALLY HAVE NO IDEA WHY WE CALL EACH OTHER GOAT. I HAVE COMPELTLY FORGOTTEN THE ORGIN STORY LIKE. WHY. DO. WE DO THIS. ALL I REMEMBER IS #WRITECLUBBAYBAES AND CALLING EACH OTHER A FAKE HOE CONSTANTLY CAUSE WE HAD THAT FIGHT ABT WHO WAS MORE OF A FAKE HOE (OBVSLY I WON U R THE FAKEST HOE) BUT STILL. NO IDEA WHY WE ARE GOATS. I LOVE IT THOUGH. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU. HAVE I SAID THAT YET? I LOVE YOU.

YOU ARE ALSO THE #1 REASON IM ALWAYS SENDING LIKE A ZILLION MESSAGES AT ONCE IT WAS U U DID THIS TO ME OK EVERYONE ELSE JUST SENDS LIKE TWO OR THREE BUT NOT US WE’RE SENDING 25 MESSAGES ALL IN CAPS WITH 100 EXCLAIMATION POINTS AND UN E S ESARY SP A CES LIKE HOW EXTRA CAN WE GET WE’RE THE BEST

AND THEN WE TALK MORE ABT MUSIC AND MY BBY HAS !!!!!!! THE BEST MUSIC TASTE !!!!!!!!! OF ALL TIME !!!!!! ‘ EASE’ CLEARED MY SKIN AND FEED MY CHILDREN AND THE RUN AWAY WITH ME REMIX MADE IT RAIN DURING A DROUGHT AND WINTERBREAK IS STILL THE BEST SHIT OF MY LIFE AND THE FACT THAT WE BOTH HAVE AN OBESSION WITH LOVER WHERE DO YOU LIVE IS THE BEST THING THAT’S EVER HAPPENED TO ME

SERIES OF RANDOM FACTS I KNOW ABT ANDY THAT I CAN'T FORGET AND HAVE NO OTHER USE FOR EXCEPT HERE IN LOVE LETTERS LIKE THIS:

- SHE ONCE HAD A DREAM WHERE SHE KILLED A BUNCH OF PEOPLE IN A WAREHOUSE AND THEN DESCRIBED IT TO ME IN GRAPHIC DETAIL FOR A GOOD 45 MINUTES BC SHE WAS SO HORRIFIED

- THOUGHT MALCOM TURNBULL WAS HOT AND CALLED HIM DADDY DON’T LIE ANDROMEDA I HAVE THE RECIEPTS

- SHE'S THE BEST DAMN ICE SKATER!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!! THE MOST RUSSIAN SPORT OF ALL TIME EVER AND MY BBY GIRL KILLS IT!!!!!!!!!! MY SESTRA!!!!!!!!!!!

- TAUGHT ME THE WORD SESTRA WHICH IS FITTING BC SHE IS MINE

- THREATENED TO TAKE MY MOTHER TO COURT BC SHE MADE MY SISTER RETURN A BRACELET SHE STOLE FROM THE DOCTORS WHEN SHE WAS FOUR TALK ABT EXTRA

- WON'T LET BLING BLING JIMMY STAY AT HER HOUSE

- HAS A HABIT OF MAKING TYPOS WITH J IN THEM

- SAID ZCRYING ONCE AND LIKE. IT WASN’T EVEN THE WORST TYPO EITHER ONE OF US HAS MADE BUT. STILL. NOW IT’S A MEME. OUR VERY OWN MEME. ALWAYS. I'M ZCRYING ABT IT.

- THE HEADPHONE BIT IN THE FLOWERS IN JAMES’ RIBS IS ABT HER AND HER BF AND SHE STILL ISNT OVER IT LIKE SHE BRINGS IT UP TO THIS DAY AND I JUST !!!!!!!!!! LOVE HER !!!!!!!!!! SO FUCKING MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!

- CAN'T STAND HEARING LYKKE LY WHICH IS A SHAME BECAUSE I’LL I’LL FOLLOW YOU. I’LL FOLLOW YOU D E E P S E A B A B Y

- I WOULD FOLLOW HER DEEP SEA BABY

- I TOLD HER IF SHE WAS A ROOM SHE’D BE A DINGY FLAT BATHROOM BUT I LIED. SHE WOULD BE THE FUCKING CHANDELLER HALLWAY FROM THOSE OLD MOVIES THAT HAVE THE HUGE STAIR CASE LIKE SOME GONE WITH THE WIND SHIT HONESTLY THE MOST DECADENT AND BEAUTIFUL AND BEST ROOM THE ROOM THAT EVERYONE WANTS TO BE IN ALL THEIR LIFE

- WE USED TO SEND FANMAILS ALL THE TIME AND WE WERE BOTH SO SALTY THAT TUMBLR STOPPED FANMAIL AND SHE DOWNLOADED THIS SPEICAIL EXTENTION SO WE COULD FANMAIL IT WAS A MESS CAN U BELIEVE 15 YEAR OLD US

- DIDN’T KNOW WHAT SHOT MEANT UNTIL I TOLD HER

- IS ALWAYS SAYING SHE'S GOING TO CATCH UP ON TEEN WOLF AND THEN NEVER DOES

- HATES THE WORD SMOL BECAUSE SHE IS S M O L

- WAS FORCED TO DRIVE BACK TO AUCKLAND FOR NEW YEARS IN HER BIKINI BC HER FRIEND GOT THE SQUAD IN THE CAR AND #GAPPED IT AND TO THIS DAY I AM LAUGHING

- MADE FUN OF MY OBESSESSION WITH FLOWERS BUT I DON’T CARE ILL STILL BUY THEM FOR HER BC THAT’S HOW DEEP MY LOVE IS

- GOT HER BF A FUCKIN DOG FOR HIS BIRTHDAY LIKE THE FUCK GOATY HE DOESN’T DESERVE U HAZZA ISNT GOOD ENOUGH FOR U YOU ARE ART

- IS ALWAYS SAYING ‘DO NOT DIE’ LIKE I COULD SAY ‘I'M GETTING FOOD’ AND YOU WOULD SAY ‘OKAY GOAT DO NOT DIE’

- RECOMMENED ME THE BEST SONG OF ALL TIME ANTHEMS FOR A SEVETEEN YEAR OLD BECAUSE

PARK THAT CAR

DROP THAT PHONE

SLEEP ON THE FLOOR

D R E A M A B O U T M E

(I WAS JUST GOING THOUGH OUR OLD FANMAILS AND I JUST FOUND THIS ONE U SENT THAT JUST SAYS ‘*ANGIRLY EATS TRAIN*’ AND LIKE. SAME)

AND NOW WE EMAIL AND ITS JUST THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I LOVE OUR EMAILS I LOVE HOW THEY'RE SO EXTRA AND LONG AND HOW WE’RE ALWAYS RECING MUSIC AND SCREAMING ABOUT SHERLOCK OR TEEN WOLF OR SKAM (OUR SKAM CHAT IS THE FUCKIN BEST IN THE WORLD EVER U R SO SMART U ARE THE SMARTEST PERSON IN THE WORLD TO THIS DAY I THINK ABT WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT WILLIAM AND I DIE. UR SO SMART. THE SMARTEST AND THE BEST) AND I HAVE WAITED 34857239857 YEARS FOR UR MOST RECENT EMAIL BUT I DON’T CARE I WILL WALK THROUGH HELL FOR UR EMAILS AND I HAVE ALL MINE SAVED ON MY COMPUTER IN A FOLDER BC THEY TAKE D A YS TO TYPE AND THEY'RE LIKE DIARY ENTRIES AND I HAVE URS IN MY INBOX ALWAYS BECAUSE WE’RE SUCH ASSHOLES™(COPYRIGHT JONAH FUCKIN GRIGGS) AND I CAN NEVER GET ENOUGH OF US

THE WORST PART ABT BEIN FRIEND WITH U HANDS DOWN IS THAT U NEVER. SHOW. UR. DAMN FACE LIKE EVER I GET NO SELFIES I GET NO SNAPCHATS THAT DON’T HAVE FILTERS ON THEM AND ITS SO DAMN ANNOYING BECAUSE YOU'RE!!!!!!!! THE MOST BEAUTIUFUL !!!!!!!!!! PERSN !!!!!!!!!!!! I'VE EVER SEEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOOK HOW BAD MY SPELLING IS AND U KNOW WHY????????? ITS BC I'M THINK ABT UR FACE AND ITS DISTRACTING ME

HERE IS THE THING: UR HAIR IS A LIKE A DAMN WATERFALL. STRIAIGHT AS A RULER AND JUST LIKE. FLOWING. A GOLDEN/BRUENETTE RIVER. LIKE SPUN GOLD. BEAUTIUFUL. INTOXICATING. THE MOST. SUBLIME THING. IN. THE. WORLD. WHEN I SEE UR HAIR I LITERALLY FALL DOWN STAIRS AND HAVE TO LIE DOWN FOR HOURS AFTER LIKE. DEADASS. EVEN IF THERE ARE NO STAIRS AROUND I FALL INTO THE PIT OF HELL KNOWING THAT UR HAIR WILL CATCH ME. I TRUST UR DAMN HAIR. THAT RIVER OF GOODNESS WOULD NEVER LET ANYTHING HAPPEN TO ME.

UR. FCUKIN. CHEEKBONES. LIKE. HOW THE FUCK ARE THEY FITTIN UNDER UR SKIN HOW IS UR SKIN NOT RIPPED THE FUCK UP FROM KEEPING THOSE BAD BOYS UNDER THERE LIKE !!!!!!! THEY'RE SO SHARP!!!!!!!!! I LOOK AT THEM AND MY EYEBALLS ARE LIKE ?????????? THE FUC HOW DO THEY WORK HOW ARE THEY LIKE THAT THEY'RE LIKE KNIVES I FEEL U N S A F E LOOKIN AT UR CHEEKBONES BC THEY COULD DEADASS KILL ME AND THE ONLY THING THAT WOULD PROTECT ME WOULD BE UR BEAUTIFUL HOT AMAZING LIFE SAVING HAIR.

AND THEN. THE ACCENT CHALLENGE. WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN. ALL OF IT WAS ART. UR FEAR OF THE PIPES. RAMBLING ABT THE ORDER OF PHOENIX FOR 8 MINUTES. THE WAY U SAY PHOENIX LITERALLY HAD ME ON MY KNEES PRAYIN TO JESUS FOR STRENGTH. CARAMEL. REMOTE. CAROLIN. IM STRAIGHT UP.

*ROLLS OFF BED AND ONTO FLOOR*

*STARTS SCREAMING* *ALL THE WINDOWS SHATTER* *I AM COVERED IN GLASS* *I AM BLASTING DESTINY’S CHILD’S ICONIC CLASSIC ‘SAY MY NAME’ BECAUSE ALL I EVER WANT TO HEAR IS U SAYING MY NAME LIKE I CAN LITERALLY DIE HAPPY IF I CAN HEAR U SAYING MY NAME I WANT IT PLAYED AT MY FUNERAL AND WHEN I SLEEP AND WHEN I'm WALKING TO THE BUS AND WHEN I DO ANYTHING IN THE WORLD EVER I LOVE IT I LOVE CAROLIN IF I DON’T GET AT LEAST 8 SNAPCHAT VIDEOS PER DAY OF U SAYING CAROLIN I WILL STAB MYSELF WITH ONE OF BLING BLING JIMMYS BLINGS*

I can't express how much I love ur voice like. its so sharp. Like a knife or a broken bone or a needle. Clear. Like glass or a pool of water or the sky with no clouds. A masterpiece. Most of the time when people say someone voice is cutting they mean it in a harsh way but I don’t because. Your voice. I could hear your voice under water it’s that sharp. I could hear your voice through concrete. I could hear your voice if you were at a taylor swift concert and I was in an abandoned supermarket. it can cut through that much space. my andy with the worlds best voice. Of course. Of course.

For real though: happy fucking birthday my angel. You're one of my favourite people in the world. I can never get sick of you because you always make me laugh. I love you. I love you. I love you. I've said that a million times but I don’t care because I really, really do.

#I SWEAR IM WRITING U A THINK OK ITS HAPPENING GIVE ME A WEEK OR TWO AND U WILL HAVE IT OK TRUST ME #DEADGWEN #I LOVE MY GOATY SO MUCH HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANGEL ID DIE FOR U #ANDY #PISS OFF CAROLINE #YES THIS A DAMN LOVE LETTER BECAUSE I L O VE Y O U

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