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chosows · 2 days

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FIRE ON ICE 🏒

Ice hockey Sukuna x Fem Reader

Summary: Hockey—a sport that had taken over his life, and yours. Every day of the past month has been dedicated to his performance for the upcoming game; this game determines their position in the tournament as the rightful victors.

Sukuna takes great pride in his preparations, often neglecting you in the process to ensure his focus is entirely on the game. Whatever the fate may be, he is aware of his absence in the relationship. He swears that given this victory tonight, he will share you a fix of his undivided attention.

Word count: 5.5k

Contains: Smut, established relationship, teasing, public displays of affection (brief), top!Sukuna, bottom!reader, cunnilingus, penetration, brief aftercare

Note: i keep getting hockey edits plastered over my social media feeds and it’s taking over my life, so now it can take over yours too. this is also my first post on tumblr + first oneshot (not my first time writing—i typically prefer my long fics); this may be a little rough

Saturday, September 14th, 11:00 AM

With a few hours remaining before the match begins, you attempt to settle down in the hotel room they had provided as his accommodation. It was ridiculously fancy, decked out beyond belief; the closet has its own room, something even your apartment lacks. The view was exceptional; you could see the arena from the floor-to-ceiling length windows. The building that would decide the fate of his career could change both of your lives if his team succeeds. Though Sukuna would never admit to his emotions, you could sense the tension and dread growing inside him each passing day. His anger becomes out of control when he is overwhelmed; he struggles to process his thoughts and allows them to overflow, spurting whatever hurtful words they harbour at you. You know he doesn’t mean it, he could never harm you; you’re his good luck charm—his motivation. When tensions are heightened, you figure it’s best to stay out of his way; he regulates alone, any other input will add kinder to his raging flames. Fans have been highly active in the media, small video and picture edits of the team are blowing up—especially the ones of your boyfriend. Herds of women flock to these hockey matches despite admitting they only attend to see the player they deem most attractive. Many of the older men had found your social media accounts through Sukuna and would send you direct messages, expecting you to have the latest scoop on the team. In reality, you pay little to no attention to the logic behind the sport; all you do is support Sukuna with no other thought in your mind. He has attempted to explain the process but it doesn’t register in your brain; a brick wall would take better understanding than you do. Buzzing sounds and your phone vibrates on top of the wooden bedside table, casting your attention to the lit-up phone screen. A Facetime call is coming through, so you quickly do your best to shape up your appearance before answering.

“Hey,” The camera shows Sukuna alone in the locker room, his jersey resting beside him on the bench as he rests his head against the cool metal, “Only three hours left, you excited to see me out there?”

“You know I am; you should see what it’s like on social media. They’re all talking about the game, there’s been a few thousand posts under the team name in an hour.”

“Good, we’re going to give them something to talk about.”

“I can’t wait for this to be over, I feel like I haven’t spent time with you properly in months.”

“I know. It’s been tough, you’ve gotten through it quite well though.”

“Do you think I’ll be able to steal you straight after the game?”

“Don’t know, they might have us do some interviews. I’ll try my best to make it quick.”

“How come you’re not dressed?”

“Started sweating so I took everything off, it’s been a mess over here.” He pats his hand against his abs, then tilts his head slightly to the side to reposition himself more comfortably.

“You’re stressing yourself out again, Sukuna.”

“You think?”

“Give yourself a breather, don’t let it weigh too heavily on your mind. You don’t want to let your emotions mess with you mid-game.”

“That’s easy for you to say, it’s far harder than it looks.”

“I believe in you,” You smile at him through the screen, and his eyes drift to your mouth, “I’ll be there yelling your name, cheering you on louder than everyone else.”

“That’s all I need. I’ll see you soon, baby.”

“I love you, go win us that game.” He takes a final moment to glance at you, the grin on his face visible before he ends the call.

With little time left to spare, you take action and begin dressing accordingly. Since it can get cold being so close to the ice, you’re advised to layer up. You select one of your sweatshirts and a pair of pants that will ideally match the outfit you crafted inside of your mind, praying that it will look better when it’s on your body than it does laid out in front of you. Pairing the sweatshirt with one of Sukuna’s jerseys adds to a cosy yet stylish outfit; you have to look your best since there are chances that the cameras, at some stage, will be on you. It doesn’t have to be formal, but it must be presentable—that’s what Sukuna always tells you. If you wouldn’t wear it for a job interview then you shouldn’t wear it in front of the camera, so you take those words into careful consideration while dolling yourself up. You do your usual makeup routine and style your hair in your preferred way, aiming to keep the casual look to not overdo yourself. To finalise your appearance, you slip on a bobble hat and scarf which matches the colour of the team; your pace increases as you catch the time, sliding into your shoes by the door.

Travel has already been arranged for you; there’s a car waiting outside to take you to the stadium to avoid the hassle of fans. Since you are the girlfriend of a team member, they allow you to enter earlier. Driving through the city spotting civilians wearing the rugby jerseys and merchandise sends sparks of exhilaration through your soul; it’s a thrilling experience and you are more than grateful to be in the position you’re in. Many women would kill to be you; Sukuna is just as dreamy as they make him out to be, but they will never gain the true experience of being his lover. His appearance is what gets them hooked; he’s brooding, standing at around 6’7” tall. Fierce eyes, proportional features, and cocky mannerisms make him the man he is. You can’t blame them for drooling over him, he’s everything any woman could ever want. His career isn’t what you chased him for; you initially had no idea who he was when you first met him at that party. The car comes to a halt and you step out, cluelessly approaching the stadium until you wait for someone to guide you. Sukuna’s personal jersey makes you stand out, fans would never be able to attain one like this; he had signed your name under his, a true limited edition. Two of the event managers spot you and escort you through the back, now passing through the hallways where all the players are situated before the game starts. You attempt to peek around corners in hopes of catching a glimpse of Sukuna before the game, but your luck runs dry.

Front row, in a seat beside the wife of the coach; you are more than familiar with Kenjaku, considering yourselves as friends due to the interactions you share outside of the sports world. Her seat was empty but his jacket was draped over the chair, signalling his return shortly. A few other women were here, though you aren’t acquainted with them; a majority of the men on the team switch their girlfriends far quicker than you can keep up with. Sukuna is teased for his long-term relationship, especially for the fact that he still hasn’t proposed to you. Their words are a nuisance to him, nothing but fodder; when the time is right, he will make his move. Peer pressure could not affect someone who has always stood out amongst the crowd. You settle down and shove your hands into your pockets, eagerly waiting for the fans to begin piling in. The sound elevates when the main doors open, and then the hordes of people flock to their designated areas. Life is what makes the atmosphere of these games so mesmerising, you wonder if Sukuna still feels that awe while on the ice. Kenjaku slips past and takes his wife’s seat momentarily, handing you a pair of gloves Sukuna advised him to give to you.

“Good afternoon, hockey fans!” The commentator blasts out on the speakers, diminishing the build-up of chatter into silence. Kenjaku pleads with you to keep a keen eye on his wife’s personal belongings while he dips back to the player bench, awaiting the arrival of his team.

“Welcome to the final game of the tournament; a great day to show up and support your favourite team!”

On the giant screen, the camera pans to the players exiting backstage. There he was, taking steps onto the ice and gliding as though he were still on land. Sukuna was breathtaking, your eyes are trained on him as though he were a deer you are hunting in the wild. The commentator continued to ramble on with the general procedure of announcing the lineups of both respective teams and introducing the coaches to the fans. You stand up from your seat like the others around you and clap, joining in with the chant before the game officially begins. Sukuna spots you in the crowd, shaking his head at how clueless you appear; he tries his best to suppress the chuckle attempting to burst out—he can’t shame you for trying. He settles down, now shifting his mindset to the main goal—securing this game as a victory. This team may cause a problem, but he’s confident enough that this win is in their hands.

“Good luck to both teams, may the game commence!” The voice fades out and then both teams launch towards the puck, battling for ownership.

It’s hard to make out what’s happening as all you can see is the mass amounts of various players whizzing past your eyes. Sukuna is determined to take the lead, so he does. He manoeuvres his way, breaking the opposing team’s line of defence and sending the puck directly to another one of his teammates, only to have it stolen back almost instantly. This battle has been ongoing for the past ten minutes, and Sukuna’s fury is beginning to bubble up. His team are unable to maintain security and control of the puck, rendering his efforts useless. You glance over at Kenjaku near the team bench and notice him holding his head in his hands; his team is falling apart in front of his eyes, and there is little hope for them to obtain a goal anytime soon.

Crashing, cursing, and tumbling are all that have happened so far. Sukuna’s performance is becoming more aggressive, nudging players out of the way as though they were ragdolls and sending them crashing into the barrier. Kenjaku’s screams register over the rowdy crowd, urging him to stop before the referee targets him for fault. Frenzied turmoil had possessed him as he turned a deaf ear, now taking the game into his own hands. He secured the puck and denied making the same mistake he did before; he kept the puck close and eased his way through the obstacles, acting as crowd control amongst all the other players. They were struggling to catch up to him as he approached the opposing goal, their goalkeeper springing to action as he saw Sukuna heading his way—rapidly. That sight alone is enough to make anyone begin to falter, and before he knew it, Sukuna had made his shot, sending the puck straight into the goal through the space left unprotected. The crowd roars as the commentator announces Sukuna’s name and number as the unassisted goal scorer. He sticks his tongue out as the camera captures his face, skating backwards to return to his original position.

Shortly after, the opposing team had matched the scores just before the first intermission commenced. While other members of his team were escorted off, he swiftly made his way over to you, banging his hands against the barrier to grab your attention. You run over to him from your seat, catching a glimpse of Kenjaku scolding him in the background. Sukuna points at you and you cock your head aside, confused as to what he could be wanting to say. You point at yourself and he nods, then he changes the positioning of his finger to himself. You copy his motions and he bobs his head with approval, a knowing smirk painting its way onto his face. He bites his lip and spins in place, rolling his eyes back to make a dirty innuendo. The people behind you were puzzled at the interaction taking place in front of them and you motioned for him to cut it out, hearing his laughter descend as he made his way to catch back up with the members of the team. Before he disappears to the locker room, he points at the area where his heart resides and then back at you, leaving you with a stupidly big smile presented as your current expression. Sukuna deserves this win more than anybody else on their team does.

Behind the scenes, Kenjaku devised a new approach. Since Sukuna is the fastest and most offensive on the ice, he’s their best shot at scoring, meaning the opposing team will have their members on high defence around him. With the idea shared of deceiving them with who their main shooter could be, the other team will not know exactly who to target or when. Sukuna is going to remain off the radar until he’s required to strike, a simple approach that fools typically fall for. While the discussion dies down, they are shortly announced to arrive back on the ice to continue the game with an equal score of 1:1 for both teams.

A new energy radiates and overtakes the rink, Sukuna’s body language is shifting and his eyes darkening. As soon as they began, someone had already shoved into him. In turn, Sukuna manages to subtly take him to the floor, avoiding a penalty since he cannot be pinned for the fault. Several of the opposing team are hounding him, hardly allowing him any free movement even when he isn’t in possession of the puck. It’s incredibly hard to play a game when you are boxed in, especially in a sport where movement plays a key factor in success. In a sudden outburst, Sukuna shifts his position and sends two people into the barrier. The referee intervenes and pulls them to the side, a possible penalty on Sukuna’s behalf. The chants increase in volume as the game picks up pace, yet you can hear the sound of Sukuna’s voice overpowering the chaos unfolding around him. He was furious, battling the violent thoughts plaguing his mind. If he wasn’t so strong-willed, he would’ve lost control of his hands and swung the hockey stick against the skulls of the pests who have been harassing him. Upon final decision, he was sent to the penalty box and was unable to participate in the last two minutes of the period.

No goals were scored as the game shifted to the second intermission; there were zero rational thoughts left inside Sukuna’s mind, he was a walking hazard. While he was exiting the rink, he swung his stick against the metal pole and snapped it in two, tossing the remains aside as he stormed past the rest of the team. Kenjaku informed the group that he would temporarily bench Sukuna since it would give him time to recollect and focus his attention back on the game—and he had no other option but to agree with this decision. Sweat was rolling down his face and the veins on his hands were threatening to burst; riling himself up like this is never a position he wishes to put himself in, especially in important scenarios such as this. When intermission finished, Sukuna had switched out with a member of the bench and sat there bouncing his leg, a new hockey stick by his side. You scoot to the end of the row and shout over to him, catching his attention by pure miracle. Though in a terrible state of mind, the sight of you had twisted his lips up into a subtle smile. He raises his hand to wave until he’s suddenly switched out, now making his way back to the ice. There was an opening and he didn’t hesitate to take it, he checked the puck away from the imbecile navigating it and was making his way swiftly to the goal. Rather than taking the shot, he passed the puck to Kashimo; their secret weapon. While they rushed to Sukuna, Kashimo had taken the opportunity to score the goal, adding a point to the team on the leaderboard. Sukuna grins widely as the other team realises they had been outsmarted, relishing in their failure.

Kenjaku stands up from his seat and claps his hands while the camera zooms in on him and splits screens between Kashimo and Sukuna. The final intermission had arrived with a score of 2:1; the last round would determine the winner, and at this rate, this would leave their team victorious. While they’re in the locker room, you send Sukuna a text. He won’t be able to read it until the game is finished, but you feel it’s only fair to let him know how proud of him you are. Watching him out there while understanding how hard he works is rewarding, especially when it goes in his favour—he puts his soul into this sport; no one could work harder than him. Sukuna is a legend in the making, a fire that will only burn brighter. You’ll be there throwing gasoline into the flames, making sure he doesn’t die out.

5:20 PM

2:1, the final score was announced and the stadium celebrated the victory of Sukuna’s team. It warmed your heart to see the wide variety of individuals supporting him; from children to elders, Sukuna was able to please all of his fans on this special day. Most importantly, he had pleased you. You watched as they placed a medal around his neck and cheered his name, holding your hands together in the shape of a heart. When the award ceremony had concluded, many fans were flocking out of the stadium, preparing to camp outside and say their farewells to the players. When the arena had cleared out, most players went straight through to the back. Sukuna strides over to you, dropping his helmet while you wrap your arms around him. He had lifted you off of your feet and squeezed you, almost crushing you with the sheer dumb strength he harbours. You gaze up at him and pout, an unspoken demand for a kiss. Who would he be to deny you? He pressed your back against the glass barrier and held you there until the sound of a voice behind caused him to break away, placing a final peck on your cheek before he turned to the source.

“You’re in public, you know?” Kenjaku points at his tongue, mimicking a gag as he picks his jacket up. “You need to behave, you had me on the ropes that entire game. Are you serious, Sukuna? I can’t keep—”

“We won, didn’t we?” Sukuna takes your hand into his, though there was no skin-to-skin contact you could still feel the heat he radiates.

“Don’t be arrogant, and don’t make a total fool out of yourself in the interview. I’ll be in the room, I’ll make sure I’m sitting right beside you to keep you in place.”

“I can’t believe you’re the same man who gets shitface drunk every weekend; I’ve babysat your kids and you still hound me.”

“I’m a man of many wonders—endless possibilities. Come on, this interview is about to start,” Kenjaku turns away to head through the back, then addresses you in his final words, “You can come too, they have seats behind the cameras.”

Sukuna waits until Kenjaku is out of sight before he pulls out the puck used for the match. He closes your hands over it and links your arm with his, dragging you towards the room where the interview will take place. Walking through the hallways filled with pictures of local legends is bone-chilling; perhaps Sukuna will be on one of these walls someday. When you reach the interview room, you take your seat and beam at him, proud to see him amongst his members with medals hanging from their necks.

8:30 PM

Left on the back wheel of the team, you had become burned out from their excessive amount of celebratory activities. Interviews, photographs, autograph signing, and the list goes on. You were forgotten about, struggling to remain patient for much longer; all you want to do is go back to the hotel room and sleep. Sukuna steps out of the locker in his casual attire, pushing you out the exit doors with him to the cab he booked. It was silent on the way home—in your case. You had dozed off while he muttered about the game, unintentionally exhausted from so much hockey. You don’t intend to be disrespectful, but when it’s the only thing you hear constantly for a month, your brain begins shutting down at the trigger word—hockey. You’re surprised you are able to escape it in your dreams; it’s a mosquito you cannot kill, nipping at you and draining your energy.

Thump. Your eyes flutter open as the mattress sways. Sukuna had carried you to the room and had fully prepared himself for the evening. His hair is still damp and his skin is clammy, your hand had intertwined with his the second you recognised his presence. It had been a long day for both of you—more so him, you were just the spectator. You scoot closer to him and place your chin on his shoulder, coming into contact with his eyes that possess a devilish glint.

“You tired? It must be so much work cheering me on.” His nail scratches under your chin, causing you to scrunch up from the sensation.

“It is, it’s a lot of work. Unpaid too.”

“How should I pay you?” It was a rhetorical question—he already had his answer, he just wanted to hear it from you.

“Some attention would be nice, we haven’t cuddled properly since last month. You always come home late and—” Before you can finish your complaint, he lifts you and places you on top of his chest. His hands rest on the small of your back, sliding under your sweatshirt.

“Poor you,” He coos, his fingers tracing lines down your skin the lower his hands venture, “You must feel so neglected.”

“I forgot what your touch feels like.” You mumble into his bare skin, the vibration of his raspy laugh causing you to stiffen up.

“Has it been that long? Or are you just that desperate?” His thumb toys with your lips, your breath fanning his hands while he waits for you to reply, “What one of the two is it?”

“Both. It’s been three weeks since we had sex, I started to believe you fell out of love with me. You wouldn’t even kiss me properly.”

“I couldn’t afford any distractions, you know that.”

“But it’s not fair, Sukuna. You can’t just kick me off to the side, I won’t distract you—I promise. It’s been horrible for me, I hate it when you have to play these big games.”

“Didn’t know it was that bad for you, I never meant to make you feel like shit. Let me make it up to you, yeah?” Sukuna pushes you off of him and looms over you, unbuttoning your pants, “I’ll make it all better, you shouldn’t have negative thoughts in that pretty little head.”

“Should be me, I’d take it all from you if I could. You’ve been there for me through it all, my most loyal supporter. My number one girl.” He tugs your pants down, revealing your panties and the wet patch that had formed in them.

“You’re—”

“Turning you on? I can see that.” He pokes his finger on the patch and your legs clamp shut, tramping him in between them.

“—Making me flustered! Slow down—” You’re cut off when his lips graze your inner thigh, planting pecks down the strips of exposed flesh.

His teeth attach to the thin fabric and slide your panties down slowly, the heat from his breath interacting with your cold skin causing goosebumps to rise. When he drags them past your knees, he slings them off to the side and spreads your legs, keeping your most vulnerable region in view for his prying eyes. You’re there in his jersey, eyes unable to meet him and hands gripping the sheets—he had almost forgotten how pleasant this view could be. He lowers his head and his hair brushes against you, smearing some of the moisture it withheld from his shower. Rather than diving straight in, his index finger slips between your folds and coaxes your clit with slick. You were far too easy—getting this soaked when he had hardly even touched you. You must’ve been fantasising about this moment all day. While he could give you what you want, he decides to drag it out further, testing your limits. Your patience has already broken and the weak pressure he is applying to your clit isn’t enough to stimulate you, it’s just enough to make you aware of his presence.

“Are you grinding against my fingers? You’re so needy,” He cackles at your desperate attempts to receive satisfaction and pulls his fingers away, slipping them into his mouth and indulging in your taste, “You’ll wait until I’m ready.”

“Please don’t do this to me, it’s been so long—don’t you think I deserve it?”

“I do think you deserve it, which is exactly why I’ll give it to you in a way you won’t forget. You’ll get what you want if you are patient, can you do that for me?” His hands knead your thighs, and you nod in response, “Good.”

Dominance came naturally to Sukuna, in both his hobbies and his sex life. It’s what he knows best, and is certainly what he excels at. He makes you weak just by the touch of a few fingers, melting slowly as his buttery words raise you to the pedestal he sits you on. Held so highly in his life only to be belittled by his condescending words—humiliating you and taunting you for becoming so aroused. You find your gaze fixed on his heaving chest, eyes daring to lower and come in contact with his highly defined abs. Sukuna’s physique resembles a hand-carved statue, chiselled with all the fine details a true creative could only dream of. He lowers his face and stares up at you, his eyes fluttering gently making him appear innocent–you both know that’s not the case. Kisses are littered on your abdomen, and your body wriggles, silently begging for more. Your body was heating up and your stomach was in knots, anticipating the moment he finally made contact with your clit. Sensing the urgency, he drags his tongue between your folds, sending a shudder through your core. Since he started, he can’t turn back–he’s hooked on your taste, and he’s starved; a luxury he had forced himself to miss out on. He got lost quickly, but you had been far gone for much longer than he had. Your hands are tangled in his ashy, strawberry-coloured hair, fingers wrapping around strands doing their best to bring him closer. Sukuna’s tongue was toying with your clit, repeating the same circular motions. Wriggling due to the pleasure didn’t affect him, he had you locked in a position where you couldn’t move. Breathy moans fill the atmosphere as you near your climax, though your release is yet to be granted as he pulls away. Your slick is smeared across his lips, his cheeks possessing a hardly noticeable twinge of pink from his lack of oxygen intake.

“I’ve missed you, you know?” He wipes his face clean with his forearm and drags you into a longing kiss, his eyes flickering with adoration as he distances himself, “Do you think I stop thinking about you when we aren’t together?”

“I missed you more.” He pins your arms behind your head, a sultry smirk twisting his lips up. All you can do is gawk at how heavenly he looks; he’s an angel with the personality of a devil, a wolf in sheep's clothing.

“That’s impossible,” Using one hand to restrain you, his other ventures down to his boxers, stroking his dick through the fabric, “You have no idea how much you mean to me—I don’t think you fully understand the lengths I’d go for you.”

That’s the truth—you don’t know how far he’d go for you, and you’re unsure if you want to find out. His struggles with regulating his fury place him in treacherous territory; there is no doubt in your mind that he could take a life just by using his bare hands, there are times when even he is unaware of the extent his strength can reach. With his boxers now discarded, he lines his tip up with your entrance, teasing your hole while he prepares to thrust in. Though he is completely bare, your top half remains covered with his jersey. In a sudden snap of his hips, he forces his way in, your plush walls massaging the length of his dick. Allowing you time to adjust, he slowly inched his way deeper, being careful not to overstimulate you. All of his six and a half inches being consumed by you, taking him in nicely. Getting you wet is no struggle, and it certainly helps with the penetration; your body has adjusted to his girth and size, similar to a lock and key mechanism.

Thrust after thrust; sweat was pouring from Sukuna. The bed would creak at any given movement and the two of you were far from quiet, giving this floor of the hotel an insight into what you were doing. His groans would cause knots to tie in your stomach, your walls clenching around him only adding to the pleasure he receives. You are beautiful when you are sprawled out like this for him, muttering and whispering his name under your breath, assuming he wouldn’t hear it—but he heard everything. He heard how good you said it felt, he heard you chanting his name as though you were handing yourself over to him, he also heard those pleas for a release. It was nearing your breaking point, your climax had been toyed with, but now it is threatening to reach its peak.

“Tell me everything that’s been on your mind, let it all out.” Sukuna continues to wind his hips in those rugged motions, hitting sweet spots you weren’t aware existed. It took you a while to process his words, too fucked out to think straight.

“I hate how— How you distance yourself from me—” Your mouth hangs open while whines roll from your tongue, head lolling back and your eyes closing over, “And I hate how you never listen— You always— It’s always what you think is best.”

“And?”

“I wish that you’d just— That you’d—” You can’t fight your release and you cum, allowing yourself to come loose. Your breath hitches as he continues, chasing his own release.

“That I’d what?”

“I just want you to myself, ‘Kuna.” A tear slips from your eye as your overstimulation turns into a second orgasm; the presence of his lips on yours catches you off guard, resulting in you moaning in his mouth.

What once started strong becomes sloppy; his forehead is pushed against your shoulder while his groans become silent, the huffs of his breath now creating more sound. His core tightened as he pumped his cum deep inside you, your hands rubbing up and down his back while he lay down. All of the pent-up tension from his mind and body dissipated, replaced by the lust shared with you. His teeth nip at the skin on your neck, nuzzling his head further into the crook to latch on better. Your nails had etched their mark into his flesh, and his teeth had imprinted their shape into yours—a fair exchange.

“I am all yours. Every day during this break will be dedicated to you.”

“It’s the worst feeling knowing other women wish they were yours.” That’s the biggest con of having a boyfriend known in the media; it drives you insane seeing what others say about him online—especially when they find a way to criticise you for being the one he chose to settle for.

“None of them could ever compare to you; they’re spiteful. Who wouldn’t be? You’re a gorgeous young woman who is successful. They have to take their anger out on the people who are better than them. You have everything they will never obtain.” He squeezes your hand, intertwining your fingers; a symbol of remaining linked for eternity.

“I have you. I think I’ll keep you forever.” You plant a kiss on his forehead, watching the smile spread across his face; the shift in his tone was noticeable, his voice huskier than it was before.

“Who said that was a choice? You’re never leaving my side.”

#jjk sukuna #sukuna x reader #sukuna smut #oneshot #jjk #ryomen sukuna #sukuna x you #sukuna x y/n #jjk smut #alternate universe #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen sukuna

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mynameismckenziemae · 2 days

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All of Me

Part 9

(previous part here, next part here)

Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x You

Summary: You finally get some time alone with Jake. It turns into more the morning after.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI! Smut, teasing, femdom, orgasm delay/edging, unprotected p in v, cumplay, a little overstimulation.

•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>

“Hi,” you breathe as you open the front door.

God, he looks good.

He must’ve showered at base, his hair still damp and finger combed, wearing a black tee and gray sweatpants that are already tenting in anticipation of seeing you.

“Hey,” Jake murmurs, “came as soon as I could, but I needed a shower.”

“It’s okay,” you reply, ushering him inside. “Come on in.”

He’s hot on your heels as you head up the stairs to your room. As soon as the lock clicks, you meet in a clash of tongue and teeth, taking turns to pull each other’s clothes off before falling onto your bed in a heap of limbs.

He’s already a mess; his neck and face flushed, chest heaving, and pearly drops of precum hit your stomach. Yet, he starts to kiss his way down your body to make sure you’re ready. But your fingers weave into his hair and you stop him with a tug. Your lip quirks at the way he trembles when you pull him back up to you. “I’m more than ready,” you pant before kissing him again. “Need you now.”

He nods, lifting up to dig around in the bedside drawer, brow furrowing when his search comes up empty.

“Are they gone?” You ask, looking for yourself. Sure enough, the box is empty. “Damn it.”

“I should’ve asked before I got here,” he sighs before kissing your forehead. “My bad. I’ll go get some.”

“It’s okay. I didn’t think to look either,” you say, wrapping your legs around his waist to stop him from getting up. “I’m on birth control and I’m clean. I haven’t been with anyone but you in almost 2 years. I-uh, I haven’t gone without a condom with anyone besides Andy either.”

Jake’s eyes widen slightly as he realizes what you’re saying and what you’re too afraid to.

I trust you. You’re more than just a friend.

“I’m clean too, but you know that already,” he teases, knowing you got his test results before he did. “I’ve also never had sex without a condom before.”

“Ever?” You ask, remembering he’s mentioned a previous long-term girlfriend.

“Ever,” he shakes his head, reading your mind. “Jess wasn’t on anything and we didn’t want to risk getting pregnant; we were only 20.”

“I’m okay with it if you are,” you murmur, pulling him in for another kiss, breaking off with a moan as the head of his cock bumps into your clit.

“I am,” he replies, unable to keep the smile off his face. But it falls a second later. “Fuck. I’m never gonna last.”

You laugh as you line him up to your entrance, shivering as you coat him with your arousal. “It’s okay. I’m sure you’ll find a way to make it up to me.”

He gasps as he pushes inside you for the first time with no barrier. His body shudders as he fights the urge to cum as your wet heat surrounds him. “You feel so fuckin’ good,” he rasps as he starts moving his hips with slow, deep thrusts.

You mewl in agreement; it’s even better than you remembered.

He groans as he captures your lips in a deep, biting kiss as his hips snap into you faster, unable to control himself any longer from being denied and teased the past few days; you’re honestly surprised he’s lasted this long.

He buries his head into your shoulder with a desperate whine. The delicious sound has you clenching around him and his hips begin to lose their rhythm as he fights to hold on before you realize he’s waiting for your permission.

“Good boy, Jake,” you breathe praise into his ear as your nails dig into his ass. “You can cum. Want you to fill me up.”

His release is instantaneous and he cums with a muffled cry against your neck.

•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>

“So good for me,” you whisper as your nails trail lightly over his back while he recovers. Your lip quirks at the way he shivers from your words.

You wait for him to pull out but he instead rolls onto his back, taking you with him. A moan works escapes from your lips at the new angle; he’s still hard inside you.

“Can’t get enough of you,” he explains, eyes going straight between your legs as some of his cum slips out at the change in position. He groans softly as he runs his fingers through it, gathering some before circling your clit.

You gasp and pull one from him too as you rock your hips. “You okay?”

“More than,” he hums, eyes drifting shut as you do it again, planting your hands on his skid chest as you begin to ride him in a slow and steady rhythm. “Just ah! S-sensitive, but I like it.”

“Do you think…” you trail off as you feel the pulls of an orgasm already. “Do you think you can cum again for me?”

“Anything,” he murmurs, forcing his eyes to open as his fingers speed up as he makes tighter circles. “Anything for you.”

You bite your lip to keep quiet as the weight of his words pushes you over the edge.

His eyes never leave yours as you tremble through your release; his fingers slowing to let you recover.

Your lips pull into a lazy, satisfied smile as you lean down to kiss him before trailing down his jaw to nip at his neck. “Cum with me this time,” you murmur against his racing pulse as your fingers find his nipples. His hips jerk and he gasps so prettily when you pinch them both. “But not before I do.”

“Y-yes ma’am,” he stutters when you do it again. His fingers start working on your clit again to make sure he doesn’t cum before you as you start riding him again.

Ever a tease, you don’t make it easy on him; your hands continue to pinch and pull on his nipples as your lips brush his neck while your soft moans reach his ear with each thrust of your hips.

It doesn’t take long before you begin to clench around him. Your teeth bite the thick muscle where his neck meets his shoulder with a whimper, pulling him over the edge too. A low, punched-out groan leaves him as his cock twitches, filling you with more of his hot cum while you tremble through your own.

•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>

“That was…amazing,” Jake sighs as he flips down beside you again after finally cleaning you up. He had gotten distracted by the sight of his cum leaking out of you and pushing it back in that he had pulled another orgasm from you by the time he had finished cleaning you up.

The sex is amazing. How you treat Drew and I is amazing. You’re amazing.

“Agreed,” you say, pasting on a smile as you turn on your side to face him, still unable to tell him how you really feel. “Do you want to stay awhile?”

“Sure,” he replies, just as his stomach growls.

“Have you eaten?” You ask.

“Earlier,” he smiles sheepishly, “at lunch.”

“You must be starving,” you say, looking at the clock. “Come on, I’ll make you something.”

•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>

Jake follows you downstairs and finally sits down after you agree that he can cook for you next time.

He tells you how training went and has you laughing at the stupid bets they make to make things more entertaining.

“God, you’re beautiful,” he murmurs, smiling at your laughter while he watches you cook him a grilled cheese…in your pajamas.

“Thank you,” you reply softly, ignoring the lump forming in your throat as you hand him his plate and make your own.

It somehow feels more intimate than when he’s said it during sex.

“You’re welcome,” he says, brushing your hair out of your eyes while your heart skips a beat, “and thank you.”

“No problem,” you smile. “Come on, we can eat in the living room if you don’t tell Drew.”

•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>

“Mom?” Drew calls sleepily from the top of the stairs.

“In the living room,” you reply with a yawn before snuggling back into a warm, solid chest.

Shitshitshitshitshit!

Your eyes fly open as you bolt upright. Jake wheezes as you accidentally elbow his sternum.

“Shit, sorry!” You whisper as you scramble to the other side of the couch. “I can’t believe we fell asleep.”

Jake’s eyes widen in panic as he hears Drew’s footsteps approaching.

“Jake!” Drew says excitedly. “What are you doing here?”

“Hey bud,” Jake says as he nervously runs his fingers through his hair. “I-uh…had a really bad headache when I got back from training last night and called your mom…so she could help me.”

What the fuck?

You have to bite your lip to keep from laughing as Drew processes Jake’s lousy excuse.

“Okay,” he replies with a shrug and looks at the dishes you two left on the coffee table before falling asleep. “Hey, why do you guys get to eat in the living room but I can’t?”

“Because,” you say as you get up and pick up the said dishes, relieved that he let it go that easy. “We’re adults.”

“So? I’m a kid,” he huffs behind you, making you laugh.

“Well Jake wasn’t feeling good, so I let him eat in the living room,” you reply, putting the dishes in the dishwasher. “Just like you get to eat in the living room when you’re sick.”

“I guess,” he replies with a sigh, turning to Jake entering the kitchen. “Are you feeling better?

“I am,” Jake replies, ruffling his hair. “Your mom made me feel a lot better.”

Jake’s lip quirks as he pointedly ignores the look you give him.

“Mom, can Jake come with to bring me to camp?” Drew asks.

“Sure; if he wants to, but he might have something going on today,” you reply.

“I don’t,” Jake answers. “I’d love to come with.”

“Cool!” Drew smiles. “Did Roo tell what there is to do there? There’s baseball, swimming, rope courses…”

Jake nods as he listens, nudging you gently out of the way as he starts to make breakfast while telling Drew about his summer camp adventures.

“I’m gonna go get dressed quick,” you tell them before heading upstairs, the sound of their laughter following you with each step.

But in truth, you just need a moment alone. The crack in the wall surrounding your racing heart deepens further; nearly big enough now for Jake to fit through.

•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>

You insist on driving when Jake fails to hide his yawns during breakfast, explaining he never sleeps well on the carrier.

You’re feeling a bit left out as Drew talks Jake's ear off the first half of the trip, but you don’t mind; especially since Jake seems genuinely interested in what he has to say.

Drew falls asleep first and Jake follows soon after. Usually quiet is a welcomed change, but the soft music does little to distract you from your thoughts.

Endless ‘what ifs’ run through your mind as you drive on auto-pilot.

What if Jake decides you and Drew are just too much work one day? What if he decides he wants someone closer to his age? What if he wants more kids? Do you want more kids? What if he wants you to stop wearing Andy’s ring? What if he gets sick or has an accident and dies too?

“Mom?” Drew whispers as you turn off the highway.

“Hmm?” Your eyes meet his in the rearview mirror.

“Do you like Jake?” He asks.

You nod.

“Like…do you like-like him? Like a boyfriend?”

“Why?” You ask as your stomach turns. A quick glance at Jake shows his eyes are still closed and his breathing hasn’t changed.

“I dunno,” he shrugs, looking out the window now. “I like him. He’s really nice…and he listens to me like Roo does; he doesn’t just smile and nod like most grownups do. You’re different when he’s around too.”

“Oh yeah? How so?” You ask, trying to keep your voice steady as your eyes prickle with tears.

“You laugh more,” he replies, “and you smile more. Real smiles too, not your sad smiles.”

“I have sad smiles?” You ask, refusing to let the tears quickly filling your eyes fall.

“Yeah, like when you talk about Dad,” he replies. “Uncle Roo said you don’t have a boyfriend because you really loved Dad and you’re scared of getting hurt or me getting hurt.”

Fucking Bradley.

“I don’t think Jake would hurt us though. He’d be a good stepdad,” he continues. “That’s what it’s called right? My friend Blake’s got a stepdad ‘cause his mom and real dad broke up.”

“Uncle Roo is right,” you sigh, making a mental note to have a talk with Bradley, “but there’s a lot more to it; it’s hard to explain. Yes, if I would marry someone, he would be your step-dad. And yes, I do like Jake…like that.”

“Is he your boyfriend?” He asks excitedly, getting louder.

“Shhhh,” you laugh as you shush him. “No. He’s not my boyfriend. Maybe he will be though. I’ll have to talk to him about it first.”

“Cool,” he grins. “I think he likes you too. I bet he’ll say yes.”

•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>

“Call me anytime you need me, okay?” You murmur into Drew’s hair as you hug him. “I love you so much.”

“I will. Love you too,” he replies, squeezing tighter before letting you go. “Bye Jake,” he surprises you both as he wraps his arms around Jake’s waist next. “Don’t let my mom get lonely without me.”

“I won’t,” Jake murmurs, brushing Drew’s hair back like he did yours last night. “You have my number now, so you can call me too, okay?”

“Okay, thanks,” Drew smiles up at him before running off. “See ya guys!”

“Bye,” you reply softly, wiping the tear discreetly before waving goodbye. Jake links his pinky with yours as you walk back to your car.

•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>

A/N: A few big steps this chapter…sex without a condom, Jake discovers his creampie kink, an unintended sleepover, getting the okay from Drew…

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lunajay33 · 2 days

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Secrets🕊️

Summary: You’re Sam and Deans sister and have been seeing Castiel behind their back, but what happens when you need to come clean when you find out yours and Castiels time together creates a little surprise

Pairing: Castiel x f!reader Winchester

•Masterlist•

Holding the pregnancy test in my hand felt surreal, if someone told me a few years ago that I’d be back to hunting monsters with my family and pregnant with an angels child I’d think they were crazy, but here I am in another motel bathroom, my brothers in the other room working on a case as I’m having a whirl wind of thoughts over take me

After some time I take a deep breath and put the test in my back pocket coming to terms that this secret Cas and I have kept under wraps needs to come to light, sneaking around always made things between us more fun but we also wanted to be able to just be together without the stress of Dean trying to kill Cas or their disapproval, plus with how many enemies were after Castiel it just felt safer to keep it a secret, a year long secret

I walk out of the bathroom fiddling with my hands sitting on one of the two beds

“Hey you okay kiddo?” Dean always called me that, he always sees me as that little sister who looked up to him when dad was away, which makes me feel even more guilty

“Can I talk to you guys for a moment” they instantly got up from the small motel table in the corner and sat on the bed across from me giving me their full attention

I never thought I’d be scared to tell my brothers something, Sammy was always the sweetest little brother and Dean always tried to protect me like it was his only mission in life

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Sam asked, worry written all over his face

“I’ve been keeping a secret from you guys just please promise me you won’t be disappointed in me” my chest was heavy and my stomach is bubbles of anxiety

“What did you do” Dean groaned but I know he’s just worried

I pulled out the pregnancy test and handed it over they immediately went wide eyed

“Is this real?”

“How the hell did this happen I don’t even ever see you flirt with anyone at bars, you don’t even look to the side of anyone” Dean sighed

“I don’t just go around hooking up”

“Then what? Is this the new Jesus?”

“Yeah about that…….”

“You can’t be serious” Sam said shocked

“What no it’s not immaculate conception, we wanted to wait and ease you both into this, we wanted it to just be the two of us for a bit but now with the pregnancy I can’t not tell you both any longer”

“We? You’ve been seeing someone?” Dean asked confused

“It’s C….” Before I could confess Castiel himself popped into the room making a bee line right to me, not even acknowledging Sam and deans questions as to why he was there, and kneeled infront of me holding my hands that were in my lap

“Y/n you haven’t answer my calls for almost 2 days do you know how worried I’ve been” he stated with those puppy eyes I feel in love with

“I’m sorry I’ve had a lot on my mind, there’s something I need to tell you too” whenever I was with cas it felt like we were in our own little bubble of love, completely forgetting why I was sitting on this bed in the first place

“You can’t be serious, you and Castiel? How long has this been a thing?” Dean said standing up now

“It’s been a year Dean, she is the love of my life, it was meant to be” Cas said matter o factly as he stood

“A year? You’ve been sneaking around for a year? How the hell did we not notice this Sam?” Sam just shrugged his shoulders

“And now you’re pregnant with an angel how is this going to end?”

Of course Dean had to be the one to blurt it out, Castiel turned to me wide eyed looking at my still flat belly no sign of a bump

“You’re with child? With my child?” He asked bewildered as he held my hips

“Are you mad?”

“Of course not, I love you and I’ll love this baby, you’re all my family now” I laid my head against his chest letting his warmth calm me down as he held me

“It’s going to be crazy to get use to but congrats guys” Sam said patting my back

“You better watch over them Cas or I swear to god” Dean groaned as he took a sip of his beer

After 8 and a half months it was time to pop, laying in a hospital bed with Sam and Dean sitting on the couch by my bed anxiously, of all the monsters we’ve fought this seemed to trump them all

“DEAN WHERES CAS?” I scream as another painful contraction courses through me

“I don’t know honey, I’ve been calling and praying” he says panicked as he gets up and dabs a cool cloth against my face

“I’m scared, what if the baby is an angel and it rips me apart, what if Cas can’t save me and I don’t get to say goodbye”

“Hey don’t talk like that you’re going to get through this, you’re a Winchester” Sam said trying to be supportive

A wosh of wings sounds through the room and Castiel is there by my side

“I’m sorry some demons had me I got here as fast as I could”

“It hurts so much, make it stop” I whimper as he presses two of his fingers to my forehead immediately easing my pain

“The child is already stronger than I had hoped”

“What does that mean? Will she be okay?” Dean asked his eye brows pinching together

“I will have to dull its powers until she has given birth” he worked his magic and the pressure lessened before I felt the urge to push

Everything happened so fast, the doctor came rushing in helping guide me as cas kept dulling my senses to get rid of the pain when a cry brought me back to reality

“Congratulations on a beautiful baby girl” the doctor said laying her in my chest before giving us space

Sam Dean and Castiel surrounded my bed all looking at this little bundle of bright life, she opened her eyes and all that emitted was bright white and blue light, like when cas would go supernova

“She’s beautiful, she looks just like you”

“Except for the glowing orbs” Dean stated

“Yes well that will fade over time as she grows but she will still have powers”

“What’s should we name her cas?”

“She looks like a Pam” I couldn’t help but laugh at such a name for a baby

“How about Samantha, and maybe the next one could be after Dean” I smile up at my two brothers who had tears in their eyes

“I think it’s perfect, you’re perfect”

“You did good sis, we’re proud of you”

#castiel x reader #castiel x y/n #castiel x you #castiel imagine #castiel fluff #castiel fanfiction #castiel fic #castiel #sam winchester x y/n #sam winchester x sister!reader #sam winchester x you #sam winchester fluff #sam winchester x reader #dean winchester x sister!reader #dean winchester fluff #supernatural imagine #supernatural one shot #supernatural

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equill · 27 days

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Another Otsutsuki?!

we’re messing up the timeline for this one. (I lost this crack idea but then it came back… the abyss stare back and I jumped in.)

anyways, now some kids meeting the new kid

Panel 1: There’s something wrong here.

Comic 1: Attention.

they’re both in the same boat

Comic 2: Day Off (with confusion.)

he just a little insecure,, (kakashi still told him to get it together)

back to the future now

Comic 3: What. (huh?)

Panel 2: very tiny.

#naruto #naruto fanart #kakashi hatake #obito uchiha #rin nohara #toneri otsutsuki #fanart #art #my art #sketch #drawing #digital art #creating silly posts pumps my brain #kid obito had immediately had distrust of the new kid #and couldn’t even explain why so he stood there glaring #obito looks at kakashi 20 years later after Toneri admits defeat with “I TOLD you he’s was weird“#kakashi after getting back to earth promptly puts obito in jail #ALSO when I saw Toneri for the first time his design is so neat!#I haven’t watched the movie so I read the description of the guy to have an idea of him #what I got is that Toneri is unhinged too ANYWAYS moving on #Toneri ends up noticing Kakashi white chakra and follows him with curiosity #Kakashi’s ends up choosing not to be jerk lets him stick around as long as he isn’t in the way #toneri takes a bit of insult because even if he’s missing eyes he’s definitely not weak #so showing some skills without destroying his disguise he ends up impressing kakashi #while kakashi talks with him and offering advice and asking him if he wants yo try anything else #he doesn’t know but Toneri immediately in his mind claims kakashi has his #this post could’ve absolutely gone from silly to psychological horror #like real quick haha #imagine the joke was just kakashi going through more issues 😭 the punchline is that there isn’t one

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hideitaway · 8 months

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staying in the dream you’re in

#haven’t made a moodboard in a really long while but I made one yesterday so yay me!!#first time making a cake moodboard and I find it adorable bcs look at them both dressed in blue and the yellow behind them #I just had to #also the pic on bottom right is from my backyard lol #luke #calum #5sos #moodboard #5sos moodboard #luke hemmings #my moodboards #calum hood #cake #cth #lrh

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akkivee · 11 months

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nobody asked but these are probably my favourite live looks hayama-san gave us lol

#vee queued to fill the void #FOLLOWED VERY VERY V E R Y CLOSELY BY HIS 7TH LIVE DAY ONE LOOK (MAX CUTE AND I WISH HIS SUKAJAN SHIRT WAS ON SALE TO THIS DAY)#AND HIS 8TH LIVE DAY 2 LOOK (BIASED BUT ALSO HE LOOKS GOOD IN GOLD AND HE WAS IN A SKIRT THAT HAD THIS RLY CUTE BELT BUCKLE ON HIS HIP)#are they in order?????? idk lol but maybe #my hayama brainrot has been on 💯 lately as we get closer to the next hangout stream and his return to it lol #it’s!!!!!!!!!!!!! been too long since i’ve seen his face in content i haven’t been looping for ages lmao #(what????? i got three new videos with him in it in the past two weeks and a very entertaining radio ft sakakihara-san???? idkwym lol 😌😌😌)#abema removed their bonus 6th live content effectively making it lost media i think and i’ve really depressed about it #it was so charming to listen to hayama-san’s voice just perpetually stuck on his kuukou baritone #since that was the first time he’d performed as kuukou for as long as he did and as intensely too (bat’s first kaigen 🥹🥹🥹)#like even takeuchi-san’s voice was going out towards the end of their interviews that’s how hard they went on that live #and sakakihara-san’s post live excitement for kaigen the way he happy clapped getting to talk about kaigen ABEMA I RLY DO HATE THIS #so i’m trying to make myself feel better by tag rambling about them lol #anyway that haircut for the 6th live was so inspired i miss his long hair era everyday and 💜💜💜 to the first time he wowed the entire world #(if you feel there’s some type of energy going into the 5th live shot i posted instead a more uniform shot with the others eh heh⭐️)

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lightblueminecraftorchid · 8 months

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Me: you know tbh I haven’t rly experienced a lot of speech loss or sensory issues, sometimes I can handle my sensory triggers fine, maybe it’s weird that I have an AAC, maybe I don’t need it and I’m just faking all my symptoms and if I pushed through it-

*fire alarm sounds*

*literally crumples into a ball on the floor with my ears covered, cannot move for several minutes despite desperately trying to, cannot talk for over an hour*

Me: …okay so maybe that was the internalized ableism talking

#I am so sorry to my friend who I was visiting #who also cannot stand fire alarms #who had to open the doors and air out the house because I physically could not move #I was sitting there the whole time thinking ‘why can’t I just move’#‘I’m being so selfish I know my friend really struggles with the noise’#‘I need to get up and help air out the house’#nothing worked. I couldn’t move until the sound was gone and had been gone for a while #if I was really making it up I would have gotten up and helped my friend but I physically could not #I haven’t reacted to a fire alarm that way in a long time #but this is also the first time in a long time I haven’t had my ear guards handy #weird how that works /sarcasm. almost like the accommodations actually affect my ability to function or something.#it was so weird I literally just. crumpled. it was standing up to in a ball on the floor in a second. scared myself.#but it was okay I calmed down eventually and drank some water and watched some DND and was able to calm down enough to move and talk #and feel pretty okay when I went home #blue chatter

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stergeon · 2 months

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for the writer ask

💭🚦💛 💌

💭 What inspires you and your writing?

this is a real marketing major-ass answer (from your local marketing major), but i love sharing knowledge and telling stories. writing’s one of those things that’s a bit of a compulsion for me—i’m always writing something. i took a five-year break from fiction writing before i stumbled ass-first into fanfic last year, but even in those years when i was focusing on my career, i was writing guides and trainings and a ton of other stuff—just not anything fun, lol.

writing is also so cathartic. sometimes i set out to tell a specific story, but at other times, a particular emotion gets me in a vice grip and i have to put it to words before it’ll go away. my stories tend to wind up as emotional dumping grounds as a result.

i don’t write things pulled directly from my own life, but there are bits and pieces of myself and things that have happened to me scattered throughout stuff i’ve written, and usually when i’m about 75% of the way through a piece, i’ll realize it’s absolutely related to something i’m currently going through. funny how art works that way, even when you don’t intend for it to.

and occasionally i just have a fire lit under my ass about an issue and i get so hot about it that i gotta compile my thoughts. looking at you, silver snow

🚦 What sort of endings do you prefer to write: ambiguous, bad, happily ever after, etc.?

look, i would love nothing more for them girls (pick whichever girls you please) to have a happy ending where they kiss and are stupid in love for the rest of forever. i love reading those kinds of stories. but in my heart of hearts, i love an ambiguous ending. i like when there are still questions after the story ends. i like thinking about where things could go or how the characters will go on after the events of the story. like, shared space could be read as having a happy ending, but i don’t really think it is. and with the victors; the vestiges, well. you’ll see :0)

come to think of it, i’m not sure i’ve ever written a happily-ever-after, but i don’t think i’ve ever written a 100% bad ending, either. i read too many bury-your-gays stories and watched too many sad european queer coming-of-age films in my youth to ever be happy putting that kinda thing out into the world. i want to write about love with all its ugliness, but not despair or hopelessness. i think what most appeals to me about an ambiguous ending is that lingering feeling of hope. it’s not the same as the kind you get from a happily-ever-after, and something about it speaks to me.

💛 What is the most impactful lesson you’ve learned about writing?

honestly? how to take criticism. i took a creative writing class in high school where we had to read our work out loud and then receive feedback on it from the other writers in the class, and that did a lot for me. going into that class, i’d already been writing for forever and had won some little local writing contests and such, so i was a wee bit of a pretentious douche. but i’d never gotten real critique before beyond, essentially, spelling and grammar checks. it humbled me lol. it made me grow so much as a writer, and i could see where i needed to improve or where my head was wedged way too far up my own ass for others to follow. it also helped me recognize strengths i didn’t know i had, and that was huge. it’s easy to get into a self-doubt spiral when making creative work, and good, constructive criticism can do so much to help avoid that.

to this day i love critique. i like knowing what worked or didn’t work so that i can continue to improve as a writer and do better next time. did my themes land? did something really work, but another part fall flat? i’d love to know!! i try to treat everything i write as practice for the next thing, and frankly that’s helped take some of the pressure off so i don’t go into total Perfectionist Mode.

i know critique is kind of a sensitive topic in fan spaces, but i think that’s because a lot of people have gotten unsolicited criticism that is purely critical and isn’t constructive. but getting good, constructive criticism will do so much to help a person grow as a writer. it’s scary, and sometimes it hurts! writing is very personal for most people, and it stings when things aren’t received the way you think they will be. but i know i’ve grown more from having my failures pointed out (and, very importantly, having the good things about those efforts acknowledged) than anything else.

💌 Is there a favorite trope you like to write?

actually Just answered this in another ask!

#sterge.eml #foxyjeongin #thank you for playing my little game and letting me talk about stories (and about me lmao)#sorry this is kind of a long post #i talk too much #i think i sound pretentious in this ask whoops. sorry #unfortunately i kind of am. i’m working on it.#… i guess the short answer to that first question is ‘emotions and mental illness’ lol #if you follow me on twitter (not recommended as it’s just me complaining about the weather and not being able to ride my motorcycle)#you know that every time i bring up my writing in therapy my therapist rocks my shit by revealing the story is #in fact.#NOT about what i thought it was about #or more accurately it’s ALSO secretly about whatever’s going on with me in real life lmao #y’know what’s really fun? looking back at something you wrote in a manic or depressive episode and going ah. hm. interesting.#the signs were. in fact. there.#(this is in fact not fun and i don’t like it. but it always happens.)#everything i write is accidentally Also about being bipolar. no getting around that #i tend to have issues organizing my thoughts and feelings to even figure out how tf i’m feeling #(forget making any attempt at doing so verbally. i have chronic foot-in-mouth disorder and accidentally say shit i don’t mean all the time)#but writing stuff down has always helped me sort through whatever mess is going on in my noggin and i love it for that #learning how to take critique is my no. 1 piece of writing advice but no. 2 is to read #read the classics. find out why they’re classics. read weird shit. read shit you don’t like. find things you like about em anyway.#and importantly: figure out WHY you do or don’t like it #it’s funny to re-read a book i haven’t read in a long time and discover OH. that’s where i get that technique from.#or that’s where i got that idea. or that’s why i had X thing happen in this story.#or why i like this type of character or scenario #nothing’s truly new and original #we’re all an amalgamation of influences and that ruuuuules #celebrate it!!!

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