#but they either. dont understand or are refusing to?????

[x-liv25-jamieswife]

my ranking of the tig villains/most hated characters

i'm bored so i'm doing this. 1 is the character i hate most meaning 8 is the one i hate the least. i apologize if this sucks. its quite late for me as i'm writing this.

drake. ik most people would put eve or smth at the top of this list, but this dude is an abuser and a pedophile (he used to call avery jailbait which means "a person who is younger than the legal age of consent for sexual activity and usually appears older, with the implication that a person above the age of consent might find them sexually attractive" according to wikipedia). not only was he horrible to libby, but he also tried to kill avery. characters like him just give me the ick and the creeps and i just can't stand them.

eve. i think this is self-explanatory. eve is one of the most annoying and petty characters i've ever read about. she tried to kill avery, kidnapped tobias (and ruined his chances of forming a better relationship with avery, and, as the biggest toby and avery father daugther stan, i cannot stand this), manipulated grayson, and hurt many people. if you don't hate her, i don't trust you. also, i hope she doesn't get a redemption arc bc she doesn't deserve it.

sheffield. i have one thing to thank this dude for and that's the love confession from jameson after he put avery in a coma. other than that, he bombed avery, kidnapped avery, cheated on his wife, was a horrible 'father' to grayson (and his daugthers bc of colin). he's honestly tied with eve (he's not first cause i can't stand guys like drake). i dont really think i have to explain myself

emily. i really don't think i have to explain. she's manipulative, petty, self-absorbed. the only thing she has going for her is that she didn't try to kill anyone. she treated the boys like crap, emotionally abused her sister, and (although she wasn't present to do it i still blame her for it) affected avery's self-esteem.

ricky. i know he's high on this list but he's just so creepy to me. anyone who hurts avery in any way si automatically a no for me. he was never there for avery and libby, refused to take custody of her after her mom died, didn't show up to hannah's funeral, tried to step up to get money after avery inherited, got together with skye (ew???). ik this doesn't seem horrible in comparison to what the others did, but seeing avery's feelings towards him in the books (especially thl) made me despise him so that's why he's so high up.

tobias. he emotionally abused his grandsons, put avery in a position that he knew might get her killed, treated his own kids horribly, hurt a lot of people in order to become who he became. the only reason he isn't higher up is bc he did sometimes do nice things (although not often).

vincent. him and tobias are sort of interchangeable??? but he partnered with eve to get toby kidnapped (sort of putting a stop to toby and avery's relationship which like said earlier pisses me off). from what i remember, he didn't really do anything else and i sort of understand where he was coming from (getting revenge on tobias) but what he did is still horrible and taking his anger towards tobias out on a teenage girl is just weird to me.

skye. i find her character sort of interesting but she is a horrible mother towards her sons. she's also a huge pick me bc who sleeps with their sister's boyfriend. she also tried to get avery killed which is just a no no. this is sort of off topic and i've made a post about this before but she didn't get punished enough for what she did to avery and that is grayson's fault. i talk about it in slightly more detail in this post.

although i knew that avery was hurt by a lot of people in this series, this really showed me exactly how bad it was. there are even more people. literally every person on this list hurt her (directly or indirectly (in emily and vincent's case)). these people either tried to get her killed, messed with her head or both. avery is a girl boss. she deserves better.

#the inheritance games #jameson hawthorne #avery grambs #grayson hawthorne #nash hawthorne #xander hawthorne #libby grambs #skye hawthorne #tobias hawthorne #eve laughlin #emily laughlin #drake sanders hate club #sheffield grayson #ricky grambs

[mx-paint]

.

#cant tell if the prev account dedicated to family guy of all things is genuine or not but like. #its truly astounding seeing te/rfs and radf/ems will say something completely unironically that is literally against them #but they either. dont understand or are refusing to????? #like. the one in the notes latest post was a rb from someone complaining how 'ex members' are saying how like. #they understand why people were shittinf on them for coming after Literally all men (not just the loose complaining about men #but literally. all men.) #and the reason Why they changed in the first place was bc they realized (paraphrasing) that men were just like them #like the differences that they forced between them to make themselves more victimized wasnt right nor true #and the op is just like. but men suck and these sisters have lost their way pray they will learn their faults quickly. #girl #idk how you can see someone say they an see why people were rightfully upset about them forcing themselves into a victim role #(in their own words) #and go like. baby. sweet baby so confused. shes just a little victim. #AND THEN GET MAD WHEN SHE GETS MAD THAT YOURE DOING EXACTLY WHAT SHE SAID SHE 'LEFT' FOR

[strrwbrrryjam]

"we need more complex female characters," you guys can't handle molly o'shea, mary gillis, abigail roberts, sadie adler, tilly jackson, marybeth gaskill, karen jones or susan grimshaw.

#karen tilly and marybeth dont get it as much people are usually quite kind or just completely forget about them #but they are included too. with susan molly mary sadie or abigail they get the worst treatment #being called either a bitch whiny mean asking too much emotional etc #i can understand why people can't handle susan. sometimes i can't handle susan #when i see her sometimes interact with the girls or remember the fact that she killed molly i'm genuinely disgusted but she's more than tha #there are layers to her. she's like dutch yet people still like him and try their damnedest to defend him #people might be surprised by sadie being included too but god the hate that she gets from mostly men for being 'overconfident' is insane #you have complex female characters yet you refuse to either give them a thought or completely disregard them as one negative quality #and refuse to recognize that they are just as complex as the men in this game #treat them as such #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 molly o'shea #molly o'shea #rdr2 susan grimshaw #susan grimshaw #rdr2 sadie adler #sadie adler #rdr2 abigail roberts #abigail roberts #rdr2 mary gillis #mary gillis #rdr2 tilly jackson #tilly jackson #rdr2 karen jones #karen jones #rdr2 mary beth gaskill #mary beth gaskill #rdr2 van der linde gang #van der linde gang

[jenna-louise-jamie]

i am delighted that alex rider got the happy ending he deserves in the tv adaptation. but also im sad we didn't get to see ben daniels.

#okay yeah i understand its better that they ended it sooner rather than later and risk it devolving into nonsense or whatever #but ben... my beloved... #alex rider #ben daniels #i think the actor who played him season 1 was irish or something?? i dont know accents please dont be mad if im completely wrong #not how i imagined he'd look but i wasn't mad either #and to be honest im not sure even anthony knows what ben looks like after he got merged then unmerged with wolf that one time #anyway i dont know if anyone will relate to this at all ahjdjfjjfj #but ben daniels is my favourite and i refuse to shut up about him

[sleepii-moth]

i am well aware that there is more than one person running for the democratic party in the presidential election but unless someone usurps biden in popularity (which i honestly kind of doubt will happen), people really need to understand that ultimately the election is going to result in one of three things:

1, democrats refuse to vote, therefore donald trump or another most likely equally as bad person will win

2, democrats split the vote between other canidates in the democratic party which results in none of the dem candidates getting enough votes to beat a Republican and the same outcome as 1 happens

or 3, democrats work together to vote for the most popular canidate (who i think will most likely be biden) and a democrat is elected

and im gonna be honest, if 1 happens im gonna start biting people. yall NEED to vote, voting is LITERALLY the most basic most liberal ass thing you can do as a leftist right now, and if you are refusing to vote right now im like actually mad at you, its really not that hard yet some people STILL dont wanna do as if NOT VOTING WASNT PART OF WHY TRUMP WAS ORIGINALLY ELECTED. JUST VOTE.

#i understand that there are better avenues for leftist activism than voting that do more blah blah blah votes barely count #but its ridiculous to me that people have literally the easiest way to make sure that the US is slightly less of a complete #dumpster fire and are STILL not wanting to do it #do you people really want another trump presidency???? is that what you fucking want??? why is everyone incapable of picking the guy who #is significantly less worse than trump. do you people think that voting is the same thing as saying you love someone so much and they can d #no wrong??? you can still protest a guy you voted for?? no one even has to know who you voted for either??? #i cannot understate how pissed i am at people like this as someone who cannot vote i am like enraged #you have this ability and yet you refuse to utilize it while those unable to have to sit and watch while your actions cause #horrible people to make the rules #trans youth in america have been the most targeted by the right recently #and how do you think they feel helplessly watching you throw it away because you dont know how to suck it up and choose? #theres no such thing as a good president you need to learn that

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

reading a medical document about indications for hospitalisation for anorexia and realising i hit multiple of the suggested criteria aaaaaaa

#certainly the blood pressure and heart rate stuff last week falls into that category but bc it dropped just enough my doctor was okay w it #but ig if its like that this week Well #Hm #anyway. #tw ed #my parents i think are somewhat scared because this is the worst theyve seen me #like im refusing SO much bc i cant handle it and i feel so awful #personal #prayer request #ig??? if you would #prayers that the medical team choose the best things for to happen for me ig #like i would describe it as uncontrollable at this point it no longer feels like a choice #like sooner and sooner lately i run into a wall that is just a big NOPE #not even 'i will eat this and feel horribly guilty' but 'i Cannot Eat This' #ive been getting more actively distressed about eating as well #i dont even understand why im hitting the medical indications either like ive been havingpretty close to recomended intake i think #idk whats happening and i am losing control #( <- chronic not acute sense) #(do not worry for me in the immediate short-term)

[hauntedwoman]

as badly as i want to avoid my mom she is making it extremely difficult

#i feel really bad that im so angry at her and she doesnt even know it #but my entire living situation is making me miserable right now and its her fault #she charges me $50 in rent every week and shes increasing it to $125 a week at the end of the month #the only reason this is happening is because she FORCED ME to drop out and the only other alternative was that i had to work full time + pa #rent.............. but like at my job even if im working 40 hrs a week ill only be making abt $900 a month #so i will barely have anything leftover for myself after rent #and i cannot get a second job bc i frankly can not handle it at all + what hours would i even work #and my mom refuses to understand that the reason i had to drop out is bc i am so depressed and so suicidal and i just dont want to live #she doesnt acknowledge that im disabled and severely mentally ill #every time i try to talk about my mental health she treats me like im such a burden to her even though i literally never tell her anything #personal anymore bc she just doesnt listen or care #ALSO she FORCED ME to move across the country and transfer schools when i really did not want (hence why i flunked all of my classes bc i d #not care) but like. everything thats wrong in my life rn is bc i do not want ot live where im living and theres no way for me to go back to #texas and also i dont rly wanna live w my dad either #but anyways. this whole situation would be better if my mom was using me paying rent as an actual lesson in adult respinsibility #but it's really just a punishment because i cant function the way she wants me to #and im over it #so fucking over it why am i such a pussy why cant i just die

[softavasilva]

seeing everyone love ava and absolutely go insanely emotional about her makes my heart warm actually❤️‍🩹

#i rmber in s1 that most ppl were like complaining about her character #and it made me so pissed and annoyed bc what the fuck were u guys watching? ava has always been the best main character #the people who refuse to see that in s1 and who refuse to understand why she did the things she did and why she acted the way she did - #dont deserve a seat in the ava silva aisle #i will defend this beloved character till my death and even then #anyway i did one (1) sad ava edit and that was insanely ouchy so im currently doing a happy one now :) #but im also insanely in pain bc i just wanna see her happy again #so either way im in pain editing her #txt*

[this-should-do]

venting dont mind me xp ✌

#if i dont get out of my parents house im going to die #either by my hand or my mothers #i refuse to be forced into the role of woman becuz my mother cant get over herself or accept other peoples suffering #so i either leave or i die #i am never more depressed than when im in this house and it gets worse everytime i return #every second of oeace is a facade careful held up by smiles and jokes while ignoring who i am to please others #and ignorjng the genuinely genocidal beliefs of my parents against myltple peoples #at least one of which includes me #why cant life be easy #when is it .y turn to tbrive #in this hluse i am no older than a middle schooler no more mature or happy #everyday i dream of relapsing sh-ing just for some control of the pain i experiemce something anything #maybe someone will finally listen to me and se ehow ioset i am see how smothered i am and the sting will pull me back down to earth again #but no who would see would understand #my brothers or my parents none of them would kniw why even if i said it to thwir face #i dint event even want to think of what my mother woukd say #shed use it as an excuse to further deny my transness surely #say how horribke and spirtful and manipulative i am against her #that i ddi it to hurt her #i am trapped as a doll in a house only allowed to be agreeable no politics no emotions other tan #contentness and love and adoration for my family #or else i am unloveavle and horrible and sick #i cannot tell my mom she has uoset me becuz it would be unfair i am silent instead #i am to take her anger and rage as a perfect recepticle and no matter how well i handle it #i am thanked with resentment amd scorn amd terfisms #i can neither disagree woth her beliefs nor avoid discussing them to keeo the oeace all she wants is comoliance #i refuse to do that tho ill take hee scorn on that one thing i refuse to xomprimise my beliefs verbally to save my own skin #ill just be quiet #im sure id be a better recepticle for her dead so she can dress me up as a girl one last time #the dead cant argue or disagree with you its everything she wants from me

[hellofears]

having issues with men, the associations the instant distrust, which i dont like i dont want it i want things to be different, just all of it so much just the dynamic i have the relationship all of it the way the world is atleast online and having a younger brother. I wouldn't trade him for the world, I try and talk to him where I can and will continue to do so i adore him but i fear. i believe in him i want joy for him. I fear that his peers will feed him fckn brainrot and it scares me. not even just that he'll fall into that thinking that his fuckn upstanding that his unwillingness to follow ppl will hurt him. crazy shit at schools, like why tf r ppl dying kids young teens killing eaachother with knives? ??I don't want to loose him i don't want to see him loose who he is and the heart that he has i don't and i hope he rises above it all and will continue to. i feel like im stating what he has to be or smth but all i could ask for is his wellbeing, respect, humanity, that he treats himself well know what he deserves and has some sense of self, some gravity. I feel like shit sometimes for this aspect that i'm concerned that i just idk, i dont like the whole 'dont disappoint me' thing he owes nothing to me other than basic human decency and respect, hes a reason why i live but to i just that intrusive thought of there is no different the hell u think of is real about men to someone i hold so fckn dear to in a way show me their fckn fuckery its idk, like another? it'd hurt me, it'd hurt me bad.

i've never understood men or boys, amab, who go on about their connection or like protectiveness of their sisters of their mother but treat other women like shit like their familiars aren't women? you don't want to fuck them so its different? what is it like just whats the difference why does it have to pertain to you for you to care? do you care or do you see them as an extension? is it a personality trait for you? a 'lover boy' thing? a signal to women, women u imagine u want and is going to be 'ur woman' but u cant even like visualize them in a way that doesnt pertain to your sexual interests? a signal so people can say oh he loves his mother so hes good to go and prime? a 'mummys boy' ? are they not real women just because u dont feel that sort of way? talking about women that way with your friends? do i have to bring up the fact those same people could date your sister etc for you to care? those people could make the kids that surround your kids, your daughter. idk.

its like okay u want sex so u respect them less? did no one hear dont bite the hand that feeds you? what the fuck is going on. you cant fuck them so its all good? the demeaning-ness? lack of gravity, venom is just rapid, vapid

#*txt🗣️ #real world issues #i instantly think of counter points before i say anything especially online and i hate it because its like im accustomed to ppl being accus #atory. at being contrary. shitting on vulnerability. shitting on emotions. shitting on hhumanity. shitting on the ability to care. #women can be pieces of shit men can queer folk can i can be you can be to me theres an ability just as people and the world of choice that #-e have. im not saying everyones on the brink of doing the worst and makes a choice not to either if ur going through that u need to seek #help or some sort of sincere dialogue well and truly. but the world around me has made me who i am just as much as my reaction. not all etc #is a no brainer. ppl dont have a neon sign on their forehead. its understandable why the caution has been fckn drilled into so many afab so #many women in the hearts of many and thats hurt fear and absolute rage simmering anger for bs. i understand proventitive cautions to ppl #especially those who tend to be the direct target demographic but to drill in fear to woman to afab not even just on a personal level imsur #everyones experience is different on that front and their thoughts but on a society level and then take no action to then be like atleast t #my knowledge or its just not fckn working bitch its crickets. men should be able to feel safe enough to share their fears and worries to be #vulnerable but that isn't coddling bs and pointing the fingers at women at afab. theres weight in the way both sexes have been socialized #its cause and effect i refuse that it can't be helped. i refuse it. i reject it. thats not me discrediting or trying to come at gender(s) #at ppls gender identity etc. i mean everything makes us who we are. its all part of a journey. ones sex doesn't invalidate such a thing. #humans are so complex to say someones just pulling shit out their ass for the giggles is wild. no matter what it rings true for people #its not for us to choose for eachother we don't choose what others want to share we can't decide how someone else feels we can't read them- #back a book they feel like they've never heard or is bs and give them the finger. u can't tell someone they're the authour and they didn't #write the book or they didn't hire you or agree and want u to write it for them? ur not a ghostwriter bitch ur writing perception #i mean the way we're brought up the way society has become accustomed it effects results its a world in of itself made #to no fruitful benefit atleast to me for any party. when desire grips you at the throat when you allow your will you allow your every whim #the desire isnt even desire anymore. now you're creating a loop you're creating a possibility for a life with no balance #if men are so upstanding they aren't like one another they aren't the bad ones why is the refusal to move forward and write past men up #write them wrong feel so heavy or resound so heavily atleast to me. write for better because you're better. know you're better. #excitement as it once was turns into not enough then again and again. and the core issue even thbere i care for other parties responsibilit #relationships are a back and forth dont choose for others what they want dont decide for others. ask them. #u shouldn't have to constantly prove ur different but heres the thing if in ur life those who know you atleast if u have walked the road #u speak of the valiant road you've trecked supposedly there'd be nothing to prove. you've walked it. if a new person comes along you dont #need effort to show you have basic respect for another. and if u dont have that respect dont get mad at those who dont want u in their live #u took yourself out their market. life is a in moment custom experience. buckle up. not me talking about love like a business worker or smt

[pagesofkenna]

The ending to BG3 is sloppy, rushed, and underwhelming. if burnout on this game hadn't already lead me to decide not to replay it again anytime soon, that nonsense ending would have been the nail in the coffin. instead, it just convinced me I have no interest in replaying this again ever

BG3 is a fun game to play, but not a fun game to finish. I like finishing games

thoughts on the nonsense ending (major spoilers):

I chose to free Orpheus because I was romancing Lae'zel, and even without that I really like the Githyanki and was pleased to participate in any action leading to Vlaakith finally dying (she's overdo). On the other hand, I didn't outright disobey The Emperor until that moment (I even did his sex scene, which is hindsight was such an obvious manipulation)

Consequently, The Emperor seemed like a suspicious and untrustworthy ally for the entire game right up until he decided to ditch me and... fight for the Netherbrain?? You know, the thing we were working together to fight this whole time??

there's no attempt to rationalize his actions. the game needed to punish me/pay off for me discovering this 'ally' is actually not one, but his actions in that moment don't make any sense. the most logical thing would have been to say 'since you're freeing Orpheus, who will want me killed, my only options now are to die, run away, or be subjugated by the hive mind again' but he doesn't say that!! he seems to be saying that he's joining the Netherbrain cause of his own volition, and during the fight (which also includes a subjugated red dragon... for some reason?) The Emperor does not indicate that he's subjugated or that he's joined the hive mind. he's just here to be petty!! i guess!!

Once free Orpheus says the netherstones can only be wielded by a mindflayer...........? for some reason? for plot railroading reasons. Not like Netheril or Karsus were mindflayers, or even abberations at all. not like the Dread Three weren't wielding the netherstones separately just fine (for a time)

so sure, I'll allow that it has more to do with the brain itself having 'evolved' (thats not what that means) and trying to wield all three stones against it at once. but why a mindflayer?? why specifically the one type of being most vulnerable to an Elder Brain's influence??? why can't Orpheus, the one being in the world that we know is naturally immune to mindflayer and Elder Brain manipulation, wield the stones as-is??

plot reasons. because.

because I need to be made to make a Difficult Choice here in the eleventh hour; either Orpheus dies or I do. because, sorry, being turned into a mindflayer is not a 'transformation' its a death. I love mindflayers I think they're a cool enemy, but The Emperor was not Baldur. he was a mindflayer whose first victim, whose first memories he obtained, was Baldur. maybe this is a fault in me being a GM and knowing too much about the mechanics of this world

except that Withers himself literally appears out of nowhere to make sure you know that mindflayers don't have souls! way back at the end of Act 2! there was no point to that other than to make sure the players knows how this bit of the world works: a mindflayer is like a robot made from a dead person's brains. it might act and think like the dead person, but the person is dead.

I actually saved, and had Orpheus transform, and saved that as one branch, then reloaded and took the transformation myself, and played through the rest of the ending on that branch. I transformed, we saved the city (mostly), my girlfriend told me she thought I was ugly but she loved me anyways and would overlook it, then I told her to go save her people and after she left I killed myself

I'm glad I at least got the chance to kill myself because otherwise there were almost no narrative consequences for letting my brain get eaten and my corpse transformed into a monster. allies were like 'its weird, but youre awesome! huzzah!' even Orpheus says 'you'll be remembered fondly as the mindflayer who withstood the hivemind' until I specifically told him not to remember me that way (I'm only a mindflayer because you told me I had to be one!)

there were like 7 options for that final choice on what to do about yourself. options 1-5 were variations of 'sure I'm a mindflayer now but that's not a big deal! not all mindflayers are evil!' option 6 was 'they probably shouldn't trust me, i should be in prison.' option 7 was 'the narrator is literally telling me I can already feel my sense of self slipping away. I know what Baldur turned into. I know what mindflayers do. I need to be dead, for everyones safety'

I wish someone else could have killed me. it would have been so heartwrenching to have Lae'zel kill me but I would have loved her for it!

then Karlach burned to death and I got no other scene for literally any other companion and roll credits

nothing. for anybody. poor Karlach is dead right now, we gotta rush and get this product out for shipment, we're spending more money on the overloaded graphical effects and textures than we are paying the line-writers and voice actors

like, you didn't play this game for the ending, dear customer, did you??

I truly think Larian did an amazing job for what they were asked to do, and I'm very curious about their other work. but it feels sometimes like game devs spend so much time making satisfying middle-game experience that they really drop the ball on end-game experience. I dont know if they fell into this trap because they were working with a major IP with not enough creative control, or time, or resources, or if even with better circumstances they still wouldn't have put much effort into trying to stick the landing

#bg3 #bg3 spoilers #bg3 negativity #im not readmore-ing bc tumblr truncates long posts nowadays anyways #and i dont wanna be super negative about something people are having fun with #but like. for this game to be SO fun to play and to have SO many routes through the first act #for the ending to just be. so cut and dry railroaded and flavorless? #like it wouldn't have stood out so badly if the first act hadnt been so VIBRANT. what happened #oh also. i refuse to understand how NOT freeing orpheus is a 'good' ending #you can't bring lae'zel with you to the end if you do that right? #maybe for all the players who hate her and bought into the lie that all gith are evil and not all mindflayers are monsters #the ending where you have to kill orpheus?? for some reason?? makes a sort of sense #but. idk. buying into the lie that vlaakith is good and shar is good and astarion deserves to ascend #doesn't make those endings 'good' either!!

[be-good-to-bugs]

you would think considering how much it loves sleeping that my body would, yknow, sleep when i ask it to. or even just when it has barely slept in days and im trying so hard to sleep

#the bin #uugghhhh i woke up at 1pm today bc my stupid idiot body refused to go to sleep at a reasonable time even tho i was alreday so sleep #deprived. i have to work at 6:30 tomorrow morning :/ so i guess i wont be sleeping till then bc i still have to clean stuff and shower #maybe maybe maybe ill get a nap in but idk. bleh. i hope after i get home my stupid body will sleep. its gonna have to bc i work 7 hours the #next day so i cant do that too sleep deprived. i really really hope i dont have to :( hhhh #i wanted so bad to get high last night mosty bc my body has been refusing to sleep this past week but my sister n her boyfriend didnt come #over so i wasnt able to get more edibles :( or boxes for packing. hhh. i need to move so soon! i have no idea what day its even gonna be yet #i badeky have an idea of how much its gonna cost either. they finally gave me a gas cost estimate afeyr ive been asking for 3 weeks #hhh. well. whatever. i only have 4 more shifts. im kinda sad tbh. i really like working here. my coworkers are so nice #tomorrow is probs the last time ill ever see my fav coworker. shes so nice. shes so nice she used he/him for me and calls me orb #i just mentioned the name in passing once after i changed my pronouns on my nametag and she noticed and she remember! #and before she used it for me she stopped and asked if i was comfortable with it or if i wanted to keep it private. i have never EVER met #another cis person who would even think to ask that. most cis people dont understand why you would care. shes like. the nicest person ive #ever ever met. why did i have to find such a great place to work in minnesota? well. even if i am super tired tomorrow morning itll probably #be ok. butbi really would prefer not to be. #i dont know why i havent been able to sleep properly. bleh. i do liek what edibles do to me its a fun time but its kinda annoying that i #cant use them very casually for sleep or pain. they incapacitate me for 14 hours minimum. #well. at least no matter how stressed i am abt everything. i will definitely be elsewhere in 18 days max. should be less than that. #i will miss this job and these coworkers but i am relived that i wont have to go to work for awhile. esp with this tooth pain. #and im so excited to be able to draw again! im glad im moving a month before artfight bc itll give me time to get shit prepped #i wanted so bad to participate last year but i wasnt able to come evn close to finishing any attacks bc i was too tired from working

[dreamcast-official]

huh.

#eli.txt #idk i think ive been slowly forgiving my sister for how deeply hurt i felt when she moved out bc now I Get It. like I Get It #when she moved out i was. 9. and in my head i thought she had left because of me. because i wasnt the easiest kid in the world and i know- #-she had a hard time dealing with me when we were alone. we're so far apart in age we couldnt connect for most of my life. and in my head #that was the reason she left home. bc of me. bc she was tired of *me.* #i know now thats not true. and i understand now why she had to leave because if she felt the way im feeling then goddamn im glad she got ou #this feeling SUCKS. nd like #yeah this probably has to do with my father's daughter and the fact that she refused to even meet me until our dad died. #it took my dad dying for my sister to even be in the same room as me. that really messed with me as a kid. like it REALLY did. #so when my sister left home i just kinda went. oh okay neither of my sisters want anything to do with me! i will be alone forever! got it! #AND I KNOW NOW THATS NOT TRUE ON EITHER OF THEIR ENDS. I DONT HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP W MY DADS DAUGHTER AND I PROBABLY NEVER WILL #BUT I DONT HOLD ANYTHING AGAINST HER ANYMORE BC GOD HER MOTHER WAS AWFUL AND I GET WHY SHE DIDNT WANT TO MEET ME BC OF EVERYTHING #BUT LIKE. THAT MESSED ME UP AND I JUST STRAIGHT UP ASSUMED BOTH MY SISTERS HATED ME FOR SO LONG. #AND NOW THAT I ALSO FEEL LIKE I NEED TO LEAVE I CAN SEE SO CLEARLY. MY SISTER NEVER HATED ME I WAS NEVER THE REASON SHE LEFT. #I CAN LET GO OF HOW HURT I FELT BECAUSE I ALSO NEED TO LEAVE #god i dont wanna hurt my mom though. #dont think i could leave her completely alone in this apartment. i dont think i can do that. #anyway. hi tumblr did you like todays oversharing episode

[mariemariemaria]

the people who think that christianity is the worst most problematic religion ever and the people who think that islam is the worst most problematic religion ever are two sides of the same coin to me

#mind blank no original thoughts no nuance #not actually caring about women and other people who are negatively effected by the religion. #if you don't care about all women who are oppressed by religion then you don't care about any women #like the ppl on here who criticise xianity all the time for being sexist or homophobic #but then refuse to do that for any other religion?? ok so u dont actually care about women and gay people beyond ur culturally xian bubble👍 #meanwhile they refuse to recognise that xians are oppressed in many parts of the world alongside other religious groups like muslims #just completely western centric #this isn't to deny that christianity is oppressive like ofc there's valid criticisms of it #personally i think the catholic church should be dismantled lol #but it is not uniquely oppressive and to pretend it is is to position victims of religious oppression in a hierarchy #with xians at the top while ignoring other victims and refusing to build up solidarity with them #and u could say that this is an online problem but it's not. its so pervasive in the actual world bc ppl are either focused on their own #experiences (which is understandable to an extent but still pls look at the world around u lol) or they are so focused on defeating bigotry #that they ignore any and all criticisms of another religion. which also is not helpful and actually damages their cause #not to mention the people who are actively harmed by forms of that religion everyday #this doesn't just apply to these two religions obviously but unfortunately this dominates western social cultural debate #like i think you could definitely make parallels here with irish history and politics and how the liberalisation of both the north and the #south is a key part of the peace process. northern protestants became more at ease & trusting of the roi when it started to liberalise and #develop out of essentially being a catholic theocracy. northern catholics were more accepting of the existence of ni when protestant #domination and the protestant churches/o.o. could no longer decide government actions #a united ireland is more likely now because the republic has (largely) thrown off the shackles of the catholic church #like in the late 20th century northern protestants were generally fearful of the republic and considering divorce wasnt legal there until #the 90s it was with good reason. it wasnt all in their heads lol #idk i just think there's similarities there #posting this against my better judgement. please engage in good faith if you engage at all lol

[vantasstrider]

ive seen a good amount of ignoramuses in the past and it really does feel like people just dont care abt artists and their boundaries. my wms have sadly become more & more inconvenient and "in your face" bc of this

#talk #i mean every time i post art (especially alter art) it feels like im publishing it to fucking shutterstock #insanely huge watermarks #you really would have to go a long way to see that ive written “dont use without credit” on the part youll use as your icon & still refuse+ #to accept that sometimes artists want credit... help me #although im very shy with correcting people i also dont enjoy taking shit from anyone #aka if i see you using my stuff with no credit it is on sight #i treasure my work a lot #either they dont care or they dont bother to understand that they are being ignorant. ive seen more than once people on twitter+ #reposting art while knowing who the artist is

[caffeinatedopossum]

It's kind of jarring to be reminded that everyone around me has always had more than me (aside from a select few). Like I just forget until it comes down to something mundane like buying shoes and I don't know my shoe size because for most of my life I've had one pair of shoes that I wear until they break. And it was usually something someone either got me as a gift (horrified that my shoes were wearing out. As if thats not what shoes do when you wear them) or they were passed down and I grew into them.

Like that's just normal for me. It doesn't bother me either, this isn't a pity party. It's just surreal that it bothers other people sometimes

#i don't really feel like ive been that poor either #most of the things i needed and didnt get were things me/my family could have afforded but refused to #i figured 'if I'd rather save up my money to get some new coloring books than to buy some new shoes i probably dont need them that bad' #maybe those are decisions they havent had to make #i cant be jealous because i cant imagine what thats like #i simply cant imagine it #oof now im remembering the only time i actually had to ask for new shoes and i didnt #i was growing out of my shoes and getting blisters from it but i kept putting off getting new shoes #because idk i guess it just didnt bother me that much until it started to hurt really bad #and i didnt want to ask my mom for anything either because yeah #she was the type of parent you dont ask for things from #eventually someone else noticed and said something along the lines of 'if you dont get him new shoes then i will' to my mom #and then she got mad that i didnt tell her? #it was all so confusing to me then but i understand why now. she just wanted to hide the neglect. she didnt really care about anything else #its why everything was fine and she never thought i needed anything until someone else said something about it #even with my eating disorder... she knew what i was doing but she didnt interfere until someone else told her i looked sick #but that wasnt until years after the problem started. funny how that works isnt it