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scientia-rex · 2 days

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I made that post about how smoking is bad—actually, no, I’ve made two relatively popular posts about how smoking is bad for you. Raises your chances of dying from multiple factors including heart disease and stroke in addition to lung (and mouth, throat, and bladder) cancer.

I am always so baffled by the responses going “well I could die from something else!” Yes. You could. Statistically speaking, you will most likely die of heart disease, stroke, or cancer, if you live in the US. Your average life expectancy is somewhere around 78 for women, 76 for men. Many people die younger than that, for a lot of reasons. Many of my patients have illnesses that will shorten their lives. I hate to split it into “fault,” as if there’s some kind of perfect way to live a blameless life. (There isn’t.) The numbers, however, are both clear and pitiless. People who smoke are more likely to die younger than they otherwise might have.

Medicine is a numbers game. My job is not to psychically predict exactly what will punch your ticket and when. It is to improve your odds. I want you to both live as long a life as possible but also as high-quality a life as possible. I want for you to live a life you enjoy.

It’s that simple; it’s not sinister. I’m not out here going “I’ll tell them not to smoke so they can have LESS FUN before getting hit by a bus at 30!”

Because smoking isn’t actually fun. What it is, is a very quick (and faster = more addictive) reduction in physical feedback systems that heighten anxiety. Withdrawal of an unpleasant stimulus is rewarding. (Technically, it’s a negative reward; the negative doesn’t refer to a moral judgment, but the addition or subtraction of a stimulus.) Something that is very rewarding very fast will be very addictive. It’s why crack cocaine is also so addictive—it is also a very fast and very potent reward. It’s also why benzodiazepines like Xanax are so addictive to so many people; it’s a slower peak blood level but the removal of severe anxiety is profoundly rewarding.

So smoking can make you feel better when you do it. But your body will try to fix any broken signals. It doesn’t just want to be able to signal to you when you need to feel stressed: it has to be able to signal you, or your long-ago ancestors would have been eaten by predators. So it ramps up the signaling. Now you’re not smoking because you feel better than baseline; you’re smoking to get back to baseline.

That’s why quitting sucks. When you quit smoking, all of the sudden your body’s signals of stress that got dialed up to 11 to overcome the nicotine are just out there at full blast, making you feel scared and jittery and irritable. It’s why when you quit benzos (or daily alcohol) cold turkey you can get life-threatening seizures. It’s why when you stop alcohol you’re likely to have sleep disruptions that can persist for weeks to months.

That’s why things that help reduce the suckage can help. Nicotine patches, lozenges, or gum. Chantix. Wellbutrin. Slowly stepping down the nicotine level on your vape. Eating more, eating things you like. (I would 1000% rather have a patient be fat than be smoking. I know other people will be shittier to you if you gain weight. Living is worth it.) Being kind to yourself helps you quit smoking. You need to recognize that “quitting smoking you” is not your baseline you. It is you with an invisible illness that will take weeks to months to get over.

And sometimes you can’t face that hump right now. But if you want to maximize your odds of the longest and healthiest possible life, knowing that any number of terrible things can happen to you at any time, making the effort—over and over again, if you need to—is the best shot you have.

There are a couple of conditions where smoking does markedly reduce symptoms. The well-known ones are schizophrenia and Crohn’s disease. If you feel not just better, but better like this is a medication for you, like you poop blood or hear things without it, talk to your primary care provider, because there are other medicines that might be safer and/or more effective for you. The landscape around pharmaceutical research has shifted dramatically over the last 30 years. We have more options than we’ve ever had before. Maybe this doesn’t have to be the expensive, dangerous medication that half-works for you. And if what you’re self-medicating is your anxiety, nicotine is a pretty crappy medication for that, because it doesn’t fix you; it changes your baseline to an even shittier place.

You have bodily autonomy. You can make your own choices. I will never go to a patient’s house and slap the cigarette out of their hand. But if what you want is the longest and healthiest possible life, smoking makes your odds worse.

The number of people who think that I, as a doctor, would be unaware of how profoundly unfair bodily health can be amazes me. It’s like the first Father Brown story, where Father Brown is explaining to the villain that someone whose main job is to hear about all of the terrible sins people have to confess cannot remain naive. My job is watching people age, or filling out their death certificates. One or the other. I prefer watching them age, but everyone will die. Someday my doctor will be filling out my death certificate. I’ve removed one potential contributing factor from that line—maybe I’ll get diabetes, maybe I’ll get cancer, maybe I’ll have a workplace accident, but “smoking” isn’t going to be on that line anymore. That’s the best I can do. I can’t psychically predict my own death, either; just play the numbers, try to do my best, and hope.

#the attending dr. kristophine

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sabertoothwalrus · 2 days

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OK PREFACING WITH IM SORRY IF I ALREADY SENT THIS EXACT ASK BUT MY WIFI KILLED ITSSLF AS I SENT IT SO IDK IF IT ACTUALLY WENT THROUGH. but in case it didn’t . i know youve gotten this countless times in the past because i blog stalked just in case youve mentioned something similar before but i need to know if you have any specific inspirations when you draw exaggerated expressions specifically like these two images of marcille. ive actually cried laughing over this comic and being able to communicate this type of visceral emotion is such an insane skill and ive followed your art for probably close to a decade through various fandoms so watching you develop this style has been fucking awesome and epic. like i cannot articulate how funny these are to me i just need you to understand i look at this comic to inspire me to draw now. the closest comparison i can draw to the feelings they evoke are like those mspaint reaction images and also mspaint tails i included for reference even though you probably know exactly what im talking about anyways but its actually so much harder to do that intentionally when you study art. also i lied you literally don’t even need to answer this i just had to let you know how obsessed i am over your silly comics and now ive written out a whole ass discussion post about it. im sorry if this is weird at all i think my daily prescribed amphetamines r wearing off and i know this is such a dumb specific thing to fixate on and im so sorry if its not something you want to hear about your art. ive just always seen that as an artist this type of expressive stupid silly style is something that comes after a significant amount of time and practice and study and style development despite being “simple” in theory. its just so cool to have worked with your own style so much that youre able to go “off model” from it and still maintain consistency with the rest of the piece. i said it already and im sorry this is actually rendundant now but the ability to communicate such raw emotion somehow decreases from at its height when someone is a beginner artist learning how to proportion and keep a steady line and what looks “normal” but somehow it all comes full circle because taking all that experience and using it to almost return to where you started but in a fully informed and intentional way so you can make choices to draw characters like this when the situation calls for it is just dhcidogakgoshfhw. i think i need to cut myself off or im going to talk in circles im sorry tumblr user sabertoothwalrus i just am fascinated by your style and progress and the years you’ve dedicated to art can be seen in so many places but this is just one that stands out to me specifically.

MMMMM what a fun question!!!

I'm not gonna lie, I think it's just Letting A Drawing Be Bad. I definitely think the people that struggle with this the most are people who have genuinely very pretty art styles, to the point of being kind of perfectionist about it. and to Draw Funny often means Drawing Fast and Weird. Pretty is kind of the antithesis of funny (unless being pretty is the punchline). do drawings that make yourself laugh. tracing/lining funny sketches almost always makes them less funny.

one of my favorite types of humor is when it skews more deadpan, actually. This is one of the reasons I love Adventure Time. minimal expressions and flat line delivery + absurd context is a really good combo. the key to comedy has more to do with contrast! if your drawings are allllll crazy ren & stimpy all the time, they're not funny anymore cause it's just "normal". if it's all subdued UNTIL it's extreme, and vice versa, then it's funny. The reason this comic is so funny is because of the complete lack of any expression. I feel like the one you sent of Marcille shouting "WHAT" is funnier when you know how much she tries to be dainty and feminine and delicate, how much she values her appearance, and how averse she is to "gross" or "weird" things.

something I find really annoying (and this is with comics/animation in general, not the expressions themselves) is when the joke goes on for too long. Like you'll have the joke, then the punchline, and THEN the characters reacting to the punchline??? Like the author didn't trust that their audience would find the joke funny, so they basically drew in a laugh track. But, this is distinct from a character's reaction being the punchline (like how the examples you gave from my Marcille comic are). MY POINT IS sometimes expressions aren't as funny on their own as you think, and context can affect how you feel about it!

as far as inspirations go!

my own face! even if I don't have a mirror, I like making the expressions myself so I can "feel" where the points of tension on my face are, and it gives me a sense of what to exaggerate.

my brother's art, believe it or not! we've been trying to make each other laugh with our drawings since we were kids, and he's really good at it.

ATLA has some great expressions

OK KO has been a reallyyyy good source for me lately. That show is so tailored to my sense of humor and the expressions and line deliveries feel exactly like the kinds of things I'd come up with. The tone, timing, and art style are all really close to the tv show pitch I'm working on, so when I feel like I've "strayed" too much from it (like after drawing a bunch of dungeon meshi, and my art feels tighter and... idk "manga-ier"?) I like to go and watch a couple episodes of OK KO to loosen back up

A lot of things like OG Spongebob, Calvin & Hobbes, the Simpsons, Chowder, etc etc

memes in general. if it makes you laugh, keep it in mind

and lastly, I wouldn't say I ever try to mimic funny expressions I see. Like if I watch a show for inspo, I'm not pausing it to copy specific drawings, I'm just trying to notice patterns and pay attention to what about it I find funny.

talking about being funny is really bizarre and I dunno if it makes it lose some of the magic. Ultimately it's something you can't think about too much, and just gotta go with your gut.

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astrobydalia · 12 hours

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Aquamarine. Gold. Lavender.Colors of summer... Astro Observations

work by astrobydalia

Your 9th house rules your gandchildren! 9th house is 5th from 5th so your kids' kids.

Also, if you are any of your parent's first kid look at their 11th house to get a glimpse at how they will perceive your fs. (11th house is 7th from 5th, so your first kid's spouse)

^^these are derivative astrology methods so you gotta use whole sign system

The scorpion actually represents the underdeveloped/young version of Scorpio while the developed version of Scorpio is represented by the eagle which to me is analogous to the phoenix. That's why you see an eagle representing Scorpio in the The World card (cause this card signifies fulfillment or completion in tarot)

I think the song 'Part of Me' by Katy Perry really illustrates developed Scorpio energy. Is not resentful or vengeful but rather transformative and empowering, you can't end their spirit just like you can't end a phoenix. Underdeveloped Scorpio energy allows pain, trauma and resentment to ultimately k!ll their soul which turns into self-destruction, think how scorpion's stinger actually points at them (and fun fact: scorpions can actually k!ll themselves when they feel cornered)

Being "different" or an "outcast" is not an Aquarius trait, it's a Leo trait. Leo is all about being yourself, being unique, the one and only and main character energy. Aquarius rules inclusivity, equality, social cohesion, FRIENDSHIP (aka people who get you) and public validation, that's why it is a strong fame indicator. Aquarius energy is relatable to others, its new and fresh, Leo it not relatable because it is unique, it shines among the crowd and burns just like the Sun. Aquarius can be unique too but the main difference is Leos feel ultimately they only have themselves while Aquarius will always have people.

Leos are meant to experience feeling "different" or outcasted because they need to learn to accept and express themselves no matter what, that's why it rules bravery and courage. They often either feel alone in their "greatness" or feel like nobody accepts their real self. Either way its more common for them than for Aquarius to experience loneliness and rejection just like the sun can't never have anything come too close to it

Aquarius does not rule uniqueness per se it rules innovation, authenticity and detachment from the ego. Aquarians that try hard to be different and separated from "most" people are underdeveloped because they're still attached to their ego and this is the n1 thing that kills their innovative potential. Aquarius doesn't do things to validate the self like Leo, it generates ideas on how humanity can better express itself and develop, that's why it rules over technology, science and activism and that's why they're known to be trend setters. Air signs are all about finding common ground, aquarians are not meant to be different from communities or groups but rather find new and authentic new ways to represent them (hence the inclusivity).

All the Gemini Venus I've met were very loyal in their relationships idk what you guys are talking about. They are the golden retriever person that is head over heals obsessed with their partner. It's not easy to get them to commit cus they need someone who has that perfect blend between goofy and mysterious, too much of either bores them quickly. They love in a playful and child-like way so I see how they can be flighty and non-commital sometimes but if they're genuinely intrigued by you oh boy they'll be ALL over you in every way pretty consistently

Harsh aspects (esp square) between Mercury-Mercury in synastry are a no-go when it comes to compatibility. The two people can get along well and like each other if the rest of the synastry supports it but they likely have NOTHING in common. Efforts to try and find shared interests or ideas might be misunderstood or feel forced because there's none 😭. Even if you do have shared ideas or interests, you will have vastly different ways of looking at them because the way in which you both think/communicate always clash so you never really see eye to eye. You can get away with having unharmonious connections between venus or mars in synastry but mercury? Nah.

When it comes to predictions specially, you need to have AT LEAST three indicators for an energy to stick. For example, having just one planet at 29º doesn't mean you're gonna be famous, you need to have at least three fame indicators to even consider fame in chart. Also, I can't stress this enough, you REALLY shouldn't need to dig too hard to find the indicators, they're usually evident and fit into the context of the chart, meaning there are no other things contradicting or neutralizing said energy.

Even though we often look at 7th house for marriage, you are most likely to consider marrying and settling down with people who have their placements in your 4th house and/or 10th house, or you just see them as marriage potential in general. 4th house creates a sense of home, security and familiarity while 10th house synastry points to shared goals, seeing a future together, etc. That's how you'll feel tho, to see if that would happen you gotta check composite chart

If you have fire in your big 3 I just know you love being unhinged and a little wild once you get comfortable

Natives with Venus-Chiron aspects tend to have... questionable taste in lovers or get in relationships that are not so promising (forbidden love, etc). Their love life is always a struggle, they feel like they can't find someone that truly loves them and when they do it's always "complicated". With hard aspects they tend to date people who blatantly suck (abusers, psychos, players, etc). With easy aspects this can happen too but I've noticed they are more prone to attracting people who are alright however deep down are very troubled and/or unavailable individuals so the native tends to be the one to heal or sooth their lover.

Scorpio Mars can have sadistic tendencies... It obviously does NOT have to go that far for everyone, in fact most of them are pretty tame but this placement really gets off on the reactions of others I've noticed. Their n1 superpower is catching you off guard and poking at you psychologically. They know exactly what strings to pull and are very aware of how anything they do or say can trigger and affect others. This can manifest as smart and punchy humor, teasing... or really toxic behaviors. Oh and you do NOT wanna see them genuinely angry 😶 If you have this placement im gonna kindly ask you to please use your powers for good 😭💀

Females with Libra placements could have experienced being 'the other woman' I've seen this a lotttt. Either that or they constantly attract situatioships. They have a tendency to not be taken seriously by the opposite sex, only being seen as a trophy or a pretty face kinda vibe. Unless they also have Cancer energy

Which is interesting to see cause even though Libra rules marriage, the kind of women who are mostly perceived as marriage material by men are Cancer placements not Libra. If you think about it, it makes sense tho cause cancer rules family and motherhood

Water venus people have a very approachable and understanding aura. Very diplomatic and tactful, they'll effortlessly make you feel comfortable around them. Equally accepting of others both in public and in privet, but you'll automatically lose them if you make them feel invaded

Fire venus motto is "it's impossible to impress me.... but let's see you try😏". They purposefully market themselves as hard to get cause they want to see what you got. Will constantly crave interactions with some fun and friction

Earth venus are a lot more harsh, they haven't even talked to you yet but somehow have already decided you didn't make the cut 🥱 Silent observers, they'll have a mental spread sheet of what they like and don't like about you

With air venus you don't want to come off too strong otherwise you'll activate their fight or flight response 🏃‍♀️ You'll never know where you stand with them but if you wanna get closer you need to keep it playful and give them space

Virgo Sun/Mars/ASC like to help others but they do it in such way that is also indirectly self-serving to themselves. Virgos are sidereal Leos, they secretly want recognition for their modesty and want their actions and efforts to ultimately shine back on them

Underdeveloped Pisces Moons are selfish and out of touch. I’ve noticed this placement is painted in a way too innocent light but they can have a nasty shadow too. They will not accept anything that does not conform to their delusional expectations about life and when things don't go their way they’ll isolate in melancholy and victimize themselves using the ‘misunderstood’ card. They can have a really twisted perception of reality, confusing the lines between right and wrong to accommodate their own narrative. Think Thanos from MCU, that character is a perfect example of underdeveloped Pisces Moon fr!! They tend to be very aloof and weaponize their empathy to appear innocent . Can use the “I can understand the world but the world doesn’t understand me” mentality to justify everything they do without ever feeling bad about it.

Another Return that brings a lot of karmic lessons aside from Saturn Return is your North Node return which happens every 18 years (Ages 18, 36, 54, etc)

Gemini risings have a fabricated or fragmented personality. They're often attracted to things like astrology, personality stuff, psychology, etc because it helps them make sense of themselves through abstract concepts. They also tent to define themselves through imitation or comparison like "I do that too", etc. It's very easy for them to convince themselves they're something they're not (gemini rules lies and deception), that's why they're often good actors (Pisces 10th house). They come across as very air-headed cause who they present themselves to be is based on who they THINK and SAY they are vs. how that translates in reality

Based on my life experience and also the responses in astro/observation posts, I've observed Scorpio placements respond relatively well to criticism. Not saying they don't care, but they can handle being villainized quite well because when developed they can have a really healthy acceptance of their shadow side and toxic traits. They also don't mind being misunderstood cause that means people can't pry on their business

CANCER, Libra, Leo and Virgo placements on the other hand are the most sensitive to criticism.... They can't handle not being seen as "the good one" all the time

Most Pisces suns I've met gave off huge xNTJ vibes for some reason like very deep thinkers, silent, sarcastic with a low-key threatening and unapproachable aura. Also VERY elusive and protective their personal stuff, they embodied the "mysterious" Scorpio stereotype fr.

However Pisces sun+pisces venus combo gives much softer vibe, more quiet and doormat-like, you'd think they're high 24/7.

The other bunch of Pisces suns Ive met had a very bubbly and dramatic personality. Can be emotional in a really performative way

Libra Mars people are SMOOOOOTH. Not only with their words but also their mannerisms, how they move and do things in general. You'll never see them triggered or stressed, they make everything look so effortless

The Pluto in Scorpio generation (millennials mostly) were the ones who started this mental health awareness wave. All this concern with anxiety, depression, mental and personality disorders was started by them. They’re the ones who started putting focus on the deeper effects of the dark psychology (Scorpio).

All the people that have scared me and traumatized me deeply for life had planets in my 12th house with no 8th house synastry in sight whatsoever…

>>> In my experience 8th house synastry is only intense in the moment but eventually you get over it fast once you stop entertaining the person/situation. It might be hard to let it go tho cause the connection is intense and this person will leave a lasting impression, but once it’s done that person is forever dead to you. 12th house synastry on the other hand is giving "I fight with you in my sleep", 12th house feels harmless at first but it deals with themes of sorrow and shame. It lingers and haunts you fr. Let’s remember that Saturn, the planet of permanece and lessons, finds its joy in the 12th house…

8th house venus/juno is NOT a sugar baby indicator imo. As per my observation, it is actually the 8th house native that ends up making a lot of money and their spouse/partner benefits from the native's income and success. I swear every person I've seen with these placements had "we could hang out in my yacht if you want😉" as their main flirting technique LMAO. Their own power (8th house) is their main source of seduction and attraction (Venus/Juno)

I believe 2nd house Venus/Juno is more indicative of sugar baby energy. They want that spoiled good life with little effort even if that means being financially dependent on someone else or using family's money

In contrast I've noticed 8th house placements are not really like that, they have a HEAVY entrepreneurial spirit. Super ambitious individuals

With that being said, be careful if your have natal 8th house placements (specially Venus, Moon, Juno, 7th house ruler), cause the people you bond with WILL benefit from YOUR income and success. That's why these natives are prone to experiencing betrayal, cause if you surround yourself with the wrong people they'll take what they want from you or cause chaos in your life and then leave, so use your intuition!!

With 2nd house energy you are good at keeping your resources and income safe, but this means they can lose value if you don't use or invest them eventually just like food goes bad if it just sits in the fridge. With 8th house energy you are prone to loss, debt, loans and other financial risks where you either lose it all or gain lots and lots of money, the all or nothing nature of plutonic energy.

I bet any virgo placement can relate to being a little bit of mess but something I’ve seen in particular with Virgo risings is they are surprisingly sloppy?? You really wouldn't in a million years think so given how they always end up presenting good results but once you know them deeply you notice they often miss out on important details in the process or get so caught up with short-term things that they miss the big picture. Either way, they often look like they got it all together but they constantly improvise a lot more that what it looks like in the surface

Aquarius Mars is a placement I've seen A LOT in celebrities, specially well-liked ones. They attract people to them just by existing, they don't even have to try too hard

I’ve noticed a lot of critically acclaimed actors have air moons

Sagittarius Part of Fortune have a vibrant and fun spirit, you can’t never kill their vibes but they can tend to be immature. It’s like they’re completely oblivious to anything serious

Libras are people pleasers due to a hidden inferiority complex (sidereal virgo)

work by astrobydalia

#astrology #astro #astro observations #astro notes #zodiac #birth chart #astrobydalia #astrology observations #astro community

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enhypens-hoe · 1 day

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YOU’RE PATHETIC ⛪️

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡𐙚 summary: Jay and you go to the same church school. He and his friends make fun of you for actually following the rules. You think he hates you, but little do you know about his obsession.

pairing ᯓ★ park jongseong x fem!reader

★ starring: newjeans' DANIELLE

cw ᯓ★ nsfw, cursing, corruption kink, hard dom jay, sub reader, unprotected sex, talk about religion, masturbation (jay), mention of porn magazine's, jay and reader go to a church school, jay’s 20 and readers 19 turning 20, breath play???, face fucking, p in v sex, jay degrades reader in one scene, reader is clueless, jay & reader are inexperienced, reader mentions pee (doesn't know she's abt to cum), lmk if there's more

p.s. ᯓ★ in no way am I trying to mock anyone's religion. I mean no harm this is all fiction and in creative fun. If you are not comfortable with this topic, please do not read and look for something else. also, this story is supposed to take place in the 80's keep in mind that's why there is no texting.

taglist ᯓ★ @anonant @luvnicho @nannetsz @star4rin @lovelysparklyfart @aileeeeeeeeeeeee @jakehooni @26796i @woozixo @kim2005bomi @minseongsworld @sunkislove

series ᯓ★ 80’s love

There he was for the third time this week, fist pumping his cock with the swollen red tip sticking out. Moaning your name like it was some sort of ritual because he couldn’t stop thinking about you and your pigtails. Oh, how much he wants to tug on them and push you to your limit while fucking you hard. He really shouldn’t be doing this and if his parents found out he’d be in so much trouble but that doesn’t stop Jay. It didn’t stop him when he was 14 so why would he stop now at the age of 20.

“Yea- oh f-fuckk” he grunts as white ropes spill out of him onto his hand. His breathing is unstable as he closes his eyes imagining how you’d clean him up so well. You’re so vulnerable and pure, that’s what Jay loves most about you. Constantly following your parent’s rules like a good Christian girl, but Jay always wondered if he would be able to change that. Minutes pass by and you’re the only thing flooding his mind.

He flinches as the front door opens letting him know his mom is back from the store. Jay groans wiping his hand with a napkin and yanking on the nearest pair of sweats before rushing to wash his hands. Wiping his wet hands on his sweats as he runs downstairs taking the bags from his mom’s hands. He begins to set the heavy bags on the kitchen counter taking out the groceries.

“Thank you. Oh, guess what that girl.. the one with the pigtails. We saw her and her family at church on Monday. I saw her at the store today and she helped me carry my bags to my car. She’s cute and seems like a good girl… hmm?” Jays head rises suddenly not interested in what his mom bought.

“Oh, ___?” his mom snaps pointing at him meaning he guessed right. “She’s annoying and such a crybaby. I’m not even worried about girls right now mom.” He hates how nervous he gets talking about you. The more he tries to conceal his feelings the more they pour out. His mom just laughs putting some groceries in the fridge. “Hey! Be nice.”

Her laughter dies down as she remembers something. She looks up at him her look suddenly showing some disappointment. “I thought I told you not to skip church school yesterday. -” I know I’ll go tomorrow, Mom. “Park Jongseong I’m serious. You’re a Christian man you need to continue on the right path. You’re a good kid you always have been.” Jay just looks away and nods not wanting to argue with his mom. His mom is trying to study his expression wondering whether to drop the conversation or not.

She sighs before speaking again. “Well, go upstairs and shower then come help me cook and set the table.” his mom softly tells him rubbing his shoulder. Jay listens dragging his feet across the floor and up the stairs.

Your white sneakers hit the floor as you walk in the halls, skirt slightly swaying. Books pressed up against your chest like someone will steal them. Danielle throws her arm around your shoulder, and you flinch looking up before smiling. You guys walk to your locker telling her updates on your new pet bunny.

Jay watches you from across the hallway while his friends complain that he’s not paying attention. “Don’t worry guys he’s just trying to get his dick hard before he gets home.” Jake laughs bending over and holding his stomach.

Glaring at Sunghoon for laughing too, Jay hits the back of Jake’s head shutting him up. “Jake don’t be mad you can’t get any bitches because you and your 2-inch dick are literal pussy repellents.” Sunghoon's mouth drops, looking back and forth at the two guys. Jake rolls his eyes poking the inside of his cheek with his tongue thinking of a comeback.

“Yeah, there’s no coming back from that… sorry man.” Sunghoon pats Jake’s back pressing his lips into a thin line. Jake shakes his head mumbling something about getting Jay back one day. The bell rings reminding everyone to start making their way to the chapel.

All the students along with Jay and his friends are entering the chapel taking their seats. Jay looks around, his eyes meeting the back of your head as you sit on the other side of the chapel next to your friends. You sit with good posture and your hands on your lap as you look forward, attention already on the teachers upfront.

The prayer begins catching everyone's attention except Jay's. He doesn't take his eyes off of you because you're all he sees. During the prayer he would continuously steal glances at you. An hour passes and he's still hypnotized by your presence. Feeling someone tap his shoulder he looks to his left and is met with Sunghoon letting him know to get up. Jay didn't even realize the prayer ended.

You're in front of him and his friends as students walk out of the chapel. Jay softly tugs on your ponytail and asks "Oh is sweet little ___ dropping the good girl act? With a skirt that short seems like you're begging to be looked at as a slut." Sunghoon and Jake just chuckle at Jay's comment.

You turn around looking at him angrily "Y-You… You shouldn’t say words like that. It’s not… something a g-good Christian would do. Actually, unlike you Park Jongseong I have a future I'm looking forward too. While you're too busy ogling at women I am focusing on my studies." you huff telling him in a matter-of-a-fact tone, but you still sound so small. Like a puppy who’s been kicked. Tears fill your eyes as you rush to the bathroom. Your friends give Jay a dirty look and run to the bathroom to comfort you.

Damn that’s the first time she’s said anything back.. he thinks to himself. He follows you when his friends are distracted and knows your friends left the bathroom. As he gets closer to the bathroom, he can hear your sobs. Jay walks in clearly not caring that it's a restroom for women only and bangs on the stall that your locked in.

You flinch staying in the same position. "Why do you hate me so much?" You ask Jay with your trembling voice, and he feels his heart break a little. "What nonsense are you talking about. Can you-... Can you just come out of the stall." Jay responds keeping his cold act up.

There's silence for a couple minutes until he hears you shuffle to your feet and unlock the door. Your eyes are slightly red as you look up at him and hands tugging down your skirt. Jay sits in silence wanting to clam up because he knows you're watching him. "'I don't hate you ___" he admits staring at the ground.

Your eyes stay on him with your eyebrows scrunched together and he continues. "I hate that I can't stop thinking about you. I hate that no matter how much I distract myself you're always in my mind. I hate how I try to get your attention and you never care. You only try to please your teachers and parents because you want to be a good girl so bad."

Your eyes widen at his confession mouth opening but you shut it right away not knowing what to say. He grabs your ponytail, and you whimper. "Now what? Hmm? … What do you have to say to that?" He stares at you, and you feel like he's looking into your soul. You look everywhere but his face because you feel too intimidated.

"I- well... thank you? um I appreciate-" you stop talking when you hear Jay scoff, and you look back up to see him biting his lip. 'seriously' Jay whispers under his breath. Sucking in a deep breath he let's go of your hair.

"Can I show you something?" Jay finally speaks up and you nod eagerly. He grabs your hand putting it on his crotch and you gasp softly. You squeeze your legs together, unsure of why you did that. "Is... is that your... you know. Thing?" you ask him, he laughs and nods.

You know you should take your hand away, but you can't. Your thighs are still pressed together as Jay yanks your hand off of him. He starts undoing his belt as he tells you "I can just walk out of here if you want. We can act like nothing happened but the way you're squeezing your legs tells me you probably don't want that huh?"

You just reach out to his pants slightly tugging at them trying to signal for him to pull them down. "What happened to you huh? What about your parents? You didn't learn this in church" Jay questions you with a fake pout on his face as he pull his pants and boxers down.

My Parents? How would they feel if they saw me like this...? you think to yourself but that doesn't stop you from slowly going on your knees like Jay tells you to.

You stare at his cock wide eyed and guilt filling your body because your mouth waters. "I- um I really shouldn't be doing this. My parents will be so upset." you admit twiddling your thumbs. So, when Jay stares at you with the same unimpressed look and shoves your head closer to him...

You open your mouth, tongue slowly poking out like you're scared of his cock. What are you even supposed to do? You lick his tip, and he groans lightly making your eyes light up. You feel so dirty, but you don't want to stop anymore. Your lips wrap around the tip sucking it like a lollipop and looking up at him.

"Come on baby. Stop playing around and take it." Jay harshly comments pushing your head further down. Your eyes squeeze shut as you gag around his length. He controls your pace holding your ponytail continuously dragging your head up and down his cock. Never in a lifetime would you have thought that you'd be doing this but something about him just makes you want to do whatever he wants.

As his moans grow louder you sit there letting him use you how he pleases. Tears fall down your face snot coming out of your nose as you gag even more while Jay groans. You can't breathe and start tapping his thighs, but Jay just seems to get more aroused.

Something fills up the back of your throat. Your eyebrows scrunch together, and you try to pull back, but he keeps your head steady, nose on his pelvis. You look up at him with teary innocent eyes and he's moaning. His hips buck once more before he lets you pull your head away and once you do; he’s looking down at you.

You're panting loudly and the white liquid spilling out the corners of your mouth. “Swallow it and stick your tongue out.” Jay tells you. His eyes are piercing through you, so you swallow sticking your tongue out showing him. He groans rubbing your cheeks.

Jay picks you up from the ground, hands on your face before kissing you. You're unsure of what to do I mean you don't know how to kiss but it doesn't bother Jay. "Are you okay? Was I too rough? Did I hurt you?" Jay asks concern in his eyes it's like a totally different person from before. This is foreign to you, Jay's usually rude.

A smile grows on your face as you nod at him feeling the blush creep up on your face. "I- I really liked that." You look at the floor and he smiles at you grabbing your hand. Your smile drops when you hear the bell signaling that you're supposed to be in class.

You rush picking your books up and before you can leave Jay grabs your arm and pecks your lips. You push him off getting embarrassed and he smacks your ass as you walk out.

The speed of your heartbeat starts to increase as you wipe your eyes and mouth. Did you really just do that? You tug your ponytail to make it tighter as you run to your class. what were you thinking?! you can't do that again; you'll confess to Father Eri- wait no... no you can't confess...

It's been a month. You've been ignoring jay since the incident that happened in the bathroom. When he makes smart comments, you just walk away pretending you don't hear him. You made a deal with yourself to never tell anyone about what happened and that it will never happen again.

Currently you're sitting in your bunny's play pen cooing at her and playing with her. Small beads of sweat slide down your back after rearranging your room so Lola can have space for her little playpen. As you tie your hair up into a messy bun your mom calls you from the kitchen, so you pick up Lola and head downstairs.

"There you are hun! I need you to go in the garden and pick some fruit please. The Park's are coming over in about 30 minutes." Your mom says as she sets 6 plates of breakfast. She lightly hums a song from church playing on the radio.

Your eyes widen at her words and suddenly you're more conscious of the fact that Jay will be in your house. "The Park's? Mom but I have no time to get dressed and why are they coming over? Since when were we friends with th-" Your mom's soft sigh cuts you off as she wipes her hands on her apron before taking a couple steps closer to you.

"Don't be rude ___. They are very sweet people I bumped into Mrs. Park at the grocery store, and we arranged something. I have your clothes picked out they are in the bathroom. Quickly pick the fruits and get ready." your mom tells you kindly but sternly, so you grab a basket from the closet. You turn looking at the clock before walking outside with Lola.

While you put the last pieces of fruit in the basket Lola hops around you trying to eat some strawberries. You look down at her smiling picking her up and quickly rinsing a strawberry giving her one.

You walk inside setting the basket on the kitchen counter. 20 minutes... you rush upstairs kissing Lola's head and putting in her cage making sure the door is secure. You open your closet grabbing your towel and make your way to the bathroom.

The warm water hits your body, and you think back to that day in the bathroom. You feel like it's hot down there. You squeeze your legs together wanting to cry because you don't understand the feeling that's been going on for the past month. "___!! Hurry they are going to be here in 10 minutes!!" your mom yells from outside the bathroom.

You rush out the shower quickly changing into a white sundress your mom set out for you. You settled on putting your hair in pigtails using your favorite bow hair ties and quickly putting on some makeup. As you make your way downstairs there's a knock on the door. You open the door and you're met with Mrs. Park smiling sweetly next to Mr. Park and Jay.

Your mom comes greeting them as you hug Mrs. Park and bow. Your mom asks you to set the table as she goes outside to show Mrs. Park the new flowers she planted. Your dad talks to Mr. Park and Jay in the living room as you get some juice out to put on the table. "Honey come here for a second." your dad calls.

Trying not to physically sigh as you turn around walking towards him. Your hands are shaking you can feel Jay staring at you. "Jay got a pet bunny just like you hun!" he informs you and you look up at him suddenly interested. "R-really? What color is it?" you ask him.

"He's black and has a white spot on his eye." Jay answers smiling slightly when he sees you gasp. You didn't know Jay would be the type to own a bunny. "___ I didn't know you had a bunny. How old is the bunny?" Mr. Park talks to you as you nod your head.

"Yeah! She's 8 months and her name is Lola. I got her a month ago!" Mr. Park smiles at you asking for tips on how to care for a bunny since Jay isn't much of an expert. "Why don't you go upstairs with Jay so he can see Lola?" your dad proposes the idea and suddenly your mouth is dry. Jay tells him he'd love to see Lola.

"Dad" you mumble, and he looks at you laughing. Your dad tells Jay and his father. "Sorry ___ can be shy. Come on it'll be quick." You sigh walking upstairs as Jay follows you. Your dad never lets you bring anyone in your room so why would he let Jay. The walk up the stairs is silent as your dad's continue to talk.

Once you get in your room you close the door walking towards Lola's cage, but Jay just stares at you. "Were you ignoring me?" Jay questions you and you can't seem to make eye contact with him. He grabs your hand gently and you look up at him. You can't tell how Jay is feeling, you thought he'd be fuming but he looks almost sad. "W-what we did... it was wrong I know. It should have never happened... but I can't stop thinking about it."

You stare at his lips biting your nails, you quickly peck his lips. Jay looks shocked as his hands immediately find your waist. He pulls you in for another kiss moaning into your mouth. Starting to feel bold you place your hands on Jay's thigh and begin to whine. Pulling away from the kiss he mutters "You've been feeling needy for me? I have been needing you... so much."

Jay is not satisfied with the nod of your head. "Say it. Tell me that you need me." Foreheads pressed together as you look up at him studying his features. You whisper, "I need you... please."

He kisses you one more time before pulling down his pants and boxers. Jay gently reaches under your dress pulling down your underwear. The tiny bear patterns make him smile as he walks closer to your bed tossing your underwear on the floor. What he hasn't noticed is you staring at his cock you forgot how big he is.

"You're gonna put that down here?" You pull your hand down to your bare core shock all over your face and Jay just chuckles pecking your lips. "Jay I- I... that's not gonna go down there. 'S too big."

He turns you around and softly pushes you down to your knees. Guiding your upper body on your bed and kicking your legs open. He gets behind you spreading you apart. You put your arms behind you, hands trying to cover your lower body.

Jay grabs them and puts them on your lower back holding your wrists with one hand. The other trails down to your slit feeling how wet you are as you gasp. "Fuck... are you gonna be good for me and take it... hmm?" Jay asks and you whimper subconsciously rubbing your core on his hand.

Jay rubs his tip on your slit and slowly pushes it in. Tears prick your eyes, and you gasp loudly, one of your restricted hands try to grab Jay's wrist. He groans pushing more in as you tighten around him, pushing some of him out. "I'm sorry baby, you need to relax, okay? If you relax, I promise, I'll make you feel good." Jay coos at you.

He reaches down rubbing your clit and you softly begin to moan. He's able to push his entire length in. His head drops and he's trying to hold in his orgasm. Your warm walls make him never want to leave. He continues to rub your clit and starts to move giving you no time to adjust. He notices your face all scrunched up and tears streaming down. You feel so full it makes you feel like you can't breathe.

The burning sensation begins to feel like pleasure. You feel an overwhelming amount of pleasure. "Jay you- I... ahhh so good!" Jay removes his hand from your clit shoving two fingers in your mouth. "Fuck this cunt is so tight ugh" His thrusts are sloppy and inconsistent. To be honest Jay has no clue what he's doing, sure he and his friends talk about porn magazines they secretly found and kept, but he's never had sex.

His pace speeds up and his thrust are harder. The room feels hot and you're both sweating while the sound of skin slapping fills your room. Jay removes his hand from your wrists grabbing one of your pigtails and tugging on it. "Wait jay I think 'mm going to pee! Stop I have to pee!!" you yell at him hands grabbing your bedsheets for dear life, but he doesn't stop instead he goes faster.

You clench around him cumming all over him. Jay starts to see a ring of white appear at the base of his cock. You're in a daze everything is muffled as tears continue to fall down your face.

"Who knew you could be so dirty huh?" Jay whispers in your ear tugging even harder on your hair. Your sobs are muffled by his two fingers. His hips stutter as he cums and he falls on your back.

You two stay still trying to catch your breath. Jay gives you small kisses all over the side of your face. He plays with the hair ties that holds your pigtails. he notices that both hair ties have little bows on them cute.

"Can you... wear pigtails again? I... I like how they look on you." Jay nervously asks and you turn your head back to look at him. A dusty pink creeping up on your cheeks as you nod.

The door slams open "What are you gu-" shit.

@enhypens-hoe 2024 - do not steal, copy, or translate.

divider creds ᯓ★ @/xxbimbobunnyxx

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daistea · 17 hours

Note

marriage hcs with mithrun and kabru? im a huge sucker for domestic stuff lol

Ya!!

2,500 words

Dungeon Meshi Spoilers ‼️❗️

no tw I don’t think

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

♡︎ Mithrun ♡︎

Mithrun’s proposal isn’t big. He just slips the ring on your finger and tells you it’s happening.

He wouldn’t care what the wedding is like, just tell him where to be and when. Though if you insist on his opinion he’ll tell you that something simple would be most comfortable.

I wonder if there’s like a formal outfit for the Canaries… Or elven wedding garbs. Idk!

If you have a reception and you force him to dance, then you get to see Mithrun’s nobility training in effect! He can waltz!

He ends up throwing the bouquet because reasons but he just straight up launches it into Pattadol’s face.

Anyway, onto home life. Mithrun actually cleans a lot, just out of habit. So you don’t have a messy husband, yay!

But he doesn’t care much about decorating his surroundings. You’re the one who fixes up the house how you like it.

He teleports around the house but he’s very careful to always know where you are. He often sneaks up on you, not on purpose at first. After a while he starts sneaking up on you because your reactions are funny.

Every good couple finds ways to torment each other. It keeps the romance alive.

Mithrun puts his cold fingers and feet on you in bed. He does it with a straight face but you see the evil intent in his eye…

You reorganize on a regular basis, and sometimes move all the furniture two inches to the left. You do this when he’s gone and honestly he doesn’t notice until he starts running into things without explanation.

Mithrun is a very touchy person with you. And only with you. Nobody else.

He wraps his arms around you from behind a lot. He kisses your neck. He buries his face in your hair. And he’ll do it anywhere, this man does not care who sees.

People new to Melini hear about the fearsome, dangerous, cold Captain of the Canaries. And when they hear he has a spouse they’re like ??oh??

Then they see him cuddling you. His face is blank but he’s holding you tight, closing his eyes as he rests his head on yours. And they wonder if this is the fearsome guy they heard about.

Marriage looks good on Mithrun. He never thought he’d get married, ever. But he craves your company, he wants you around all the time, he wants every inch of your attention. Your affectionate smiles should be only for him. And he has no problem telling you that you’re his and your attention should be on him.

I mean, you’re one of the few desires he has. He’s going to soak up every bit of you, inject you in his bloodstream, graft you into the fabric of his soul. He’s not going to say that, but it’s true.

My guilty pleasure is making Mithrun into an obsessive partner, but that’s honestly just my headcanon/preference and not something I would insist is canon to his character.

Obsessive as in following you around like a lost puppy, always finding some way to touch you, overwhelming attraction, getting a bit irritable when you’re away, being very possessive, etc. But then again, that’s just my preference talking.

At night, he holds you like he thinks you’re about to disappear.

You cast sleep spells to help him rest at night or else he’ll be awake for hours and hours until his body gives out.

Mithrun likes being the little spoon, even if you’re smaller than him. But he also likes being the big spoon sometimes. #switch

You think cooking together will be sweet and fun, right? Wrong. It’s horrible. The first time you try to cook together you just keep bumping into each other, getting in the way, picking up things and setting them down somewhere and forgetting where that was. It gets a bit tense.

You don’t cook together again.

Mithrun actually likes cooking and will probably want to take turns making the food. Except his food is crap at first. Total shit. He’ll learn.

When Mithrun is irritated or mad at you gives you the silent treatment. He’s grumpy. He’ll mutter under his breath a little. Just love on him until he softens up. Wrap your arms around him from behind and harass him a bit.

Speaking of harassment, Mithrun does that all the time. You’ve got some paperwork or whatever that you’re working on? Well he wants your attention. Right now. And he’s going to get it.

You just see him walk into the room with that look in his eye, his pupils focused, his mouth set in a line. And you groan because you know he’s about to do everything in his power to distract you.

That means flopping down like a rag doll in your lap. Or kissing your neck, biting a bit. His hands are going places. He won’t outright say he wants attention, but it’s clear he wants it.

Then the moment you actually give him attention, he gets up and wanders away.

He steals the blankets at night, but fortunately does not spread out much.

I feel like Mithrun would have a bunch of weird hobbies. He’s just throwing stuff at the wall and seeing what sticks. There’s pottery, of course. But that’s kind of messy. He makes really dumb bowls too. Idk, they’re just dumb looking bowls.

He takes up gardening. But one time he didn’t realize he was getting too hot and he kinda collapsed face first into the squash patch. He tasted dirt that day. It was fine.

He tried knitting! He makes a horrible little stuffed pig and sends it to Milsiril. She doesn’t respond with a thank you letter or anything. She hides it in a box in her attic so she doesn’t have to look at it.

Mithrun isn’t concerned with being good at these things, he’s just doing them to do them. King behavior

I think you’d both eventually adopt a pet. And by adopt I mean Mithrun found this dog digging through the trash and brought it home.

You share each other’s clothes a lot. It doesn’t matter how small or big you are, Mithrun is pulling on your sweater and drowning in the scent of you. He also likes seeing you in his clothes! I imagine he wears tall-man clothes half the time tbh, idk I just like Mithrun in baggy flowy tunics that are rolled up at the arms… But elf clothes physically fit him better because he’s so smol.

Generally, your life is peaceful. You might go with him on monster surveys, or help at the noodle shop. You’re a team, you move in sync with each other, able to tell what the other is thinking just from a look.

Often around other people, you and Mithrun silently communicate through passing glances.

He never takes his ring off. Never. He gets grumpy if you take yours off.

Mithrun’s brother likes to visit. I headcanon that his brother has a family by now (UNCLE MITHRUN!!!) and they all love you. (One night he’s putting his niece or nephew to bed and they’re like ‘uncle Mithrun, the hat man doesn’t like you’ and he’s like ..okay. Thank you for letting me know.)

You two have a routine! Mithrun lives by routine anyway, so you quickly follow and do your daily things. It’s not boring though because you’re happy to be doing them together.

Life is calm and he’s content. It’s so much more than he ever thought he’d get. He’s going to savor every second.

♡︎ Kabru ♡︎

Kabru’s proposal is simple and intimate, but he makes sure to do things right. He tells you to meet him at a certain spot and that you’re ’going shopping’ for something. But lol no he’s proposing

Except of course something goes terribly wrong and Kabru is left a stressed out mess and wants to redo the whole thing. But tough luck buddy, you’ve already accepted. He sighs and furrows his brows and smiles, giving you that look that tells the world just how he feels. It’s soft and adoring and so in love.

Kabru is involved in the wedding planning for every step of the way. He’s almost a bit controlling with it.

He knows so many people that the guest list quickly reaches the hundreds.

Eventually Kabru gives up and you two plan to have something small and private instead. Which is a relief, because with something private he won’t feel the need to mask himself the entire time, to play the part.

He’s so! Excited! To see you in your wedding clothes!

He’s actually a bit gushy about it. Like he’s trying to hide his excitement. He puts his hand over his mouth to hide his smile, but his eyes are wide and he’s all riled up.

At the reception you honestly just sit in the corner together and whisper all night. For once he doesn’t intend on using this opportunity to gain information or insight.

Onto home life! Maybe for a tiny bit, you two live in his little room? Just until you get a house.

His landlord teases constantly.

Once you do get a place to stay, he actually doesn’t care about decorating all that much. He’s got stuff though, books and notebooks and random things he’s gathered over the years.

Kabru is a mess. He isn’t gross, but he’s unorganized and kinda just tosses his clothes on the floor. He leaves drawers open, and cabinets open.

He sleeps spread out, limbs everywhere. He drools sometimes. He makes you promise to not tell anyone that ever.

Kabru doesn’t cook. He’ll attempt it for you, though. He’ll try a lot of new things for you. He tries to eat more, to sleep more, and actually take care of himself. He knows you’d like that.

Kabru is pretty social. He keeps you up to date on every little endeavor he has going on. You have a routine of going to this restaurant or tavern frequently and he’ll lean in close to you and whisper about the people.

That guy over there? He’s got some information on this. Kabru’s going to buy him a drink.

This isn’t as effective as it was before Melini became a nation, though, when he was just an adventurer on the island. Because now Kabru is the King’s advisor and people are a little intimidated by him.

This frustrates him. When you get home and sit on the couch, he’ll lay his head in your lap or wrap his arms around your waist and complain. He likes being the advisor, but he doesn’t like how people think he’s intimidating and royal or important.

You visit Kabru at the castle often! Hell, maybe you even live in the castle with him! Idk how that works.

He has a lot of stuffy meetings with diplomats and important people, and you’ll often be on his arm. Galas, parties, dinners. It’s kind of exhausting. But Kabru loves every minute of it. He’s got you next to him, and he’s got the Kahka Brud diplomat tipsy enough to openly discuss the Queen’s affair with a servant. It’s so great.

You also share a lot of knowing looks with Kabru. When Laois does something Laois-y, you just look at each other.

Kabru isn’t much for PDA, he cares about who’s watching and what they think. He’s actually a little paranoid that people might find a way to use you against him. So he’s constantly planting these little ideas in people’s heads, about what might happen if anyone messed with you… It’s more subtle than I’m able to exemplify but you get the point.

Your husband has a room dedicated to his thoughts. His sherlock holmes mind palace.

It’s actually just a dark room where he puts pictures of people on the walls and connects them all with red yarn. You walk in with a lamp and he just flinches and squints at the light. Little freak.

He will talk your ear off, explaining each and every thought he has in his little web. Actually, doing that helps him sort things out and come to realizations!

He likes sitting on the floor with you in his lap, his arms around your waist. Idk he’s just the kind of guy to sit on the floor and stare at the wall in deep thought.

Kabru doesn’t really get mad at you. He gets very concerned if you do something reckless and might look a bit frustrated on the outside, but he generally keeps his cool and speaks respectfully.

He can be a bit snarky though.

Different from most couples, you don’t terrorize each other that much. You might terrorize him, but he doesn’t do that. Kabru doesn’t do pranks or cute little revenge things. Kabru’s idea of terrorizing someone is slowly gaslighting them into insanity over the years. He won’t do that to you, obviously.

He never takes his ring off! He’s hurt if you take yours off.

He dances a lot with you when you’re alone. He’ll come up behind you and wrap his arms around your waist and sway a little. He’ll grab your hand and your hip and spin you around the kitchen. There’s no music, he doesn’t need it. He just wants to see you laugh.

If you make horrible crappy food he’ll still eat it. He hesitates to tell you it’s bad. It’s only when you insist on his opinion that he’ll admit it’s shit. (But he does so nicely)

Wear his clothes. Please. Please wear his clothes, it drives him crazy. You’ll be the death of him.

Y’all are weird, you match each others freaks. He adores your quirks and hobbies and is genuinely interested in learning about everything.

Seriously. He wants to know everything. Every thought that passes through your pretty head, every inch of you, every beat of your heart. He explores your body a lot. He worships you.

Kabru never thought he’d get married, actually. Not that he was opposed to the idea, he just wasn’t considering it until he met you. He’s extremely loyal, though, and you’re stuck with him forever. He reminds you of that often.

He keeps a mental list of people who have flirted with you or checked you out. He has his eye on them.

Kabru likes being the little spoon!

He likes bathing with you, washing your hair. It’s just intimate for him.

Your evenings are spent talking about everything and nothing. And he’s not digging for info, he’s just enjoying himself.

He likes to watch you sleep sometimes. Don’t ask why, just let him do his thing.

Milsiril visits often. She’s a relatively chill mother in law, if not a bit clingy. But she won’t just cling to Kabru, she’ll cling to you too (after you prove your worth)

Milsiril unfortunately shows up without warning sometimes, and her timing is horrible. It’s usually when you and Kabru are kissing and your hands are everywhere and you’re being gently laid on the bed and—

Oh there’s elf mom.

He gets embarrassed with her. She tells a lot of stories she thinks are cute. Kabru does not think they’re cute.

Once she leaves there’s a huge sigh of relief.

Kabru speaks other languages to you sometimes, but he refuses to tell you what he’s said.

Life with Kabru is interesting! You’re always busy. You’ve always got something going on. But it’s those moments when you’re in bed together, when your limbs are tangled in the dark, that he treasures the most.

#yay!#asks #dungeon meshi #mithrun #delicious in dungeon #mithrun of the house of kerensil #dunmeshi #mithrun x reader #dungeon meshi headcanons #kabru x reader #kabru #kabru of utaya #dungeon meshi imagines #dungeon meshi x reader #reader insert #x reader #my writing

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rowanwithaz · 3 days

Text

The dumb anti BKDK/DKBK arguments:

I've seen a lot of people kinda making fun of bkdk/dkbk antis' takes on their dynamic/relationship. But,I think there's also an underlining issue with the mischaracterization of the story,characters,and Hori as a writer himself.

Katsuki/bullying

One of the biggest arguments used against bkdk/dkbk is this one panel.

Which,this scene isn't as deep as people want to believe it is. Well,it IS,but just not on Katsuki's end (I'll elaborate on this in the Izuku section). This scene isn't about Katsuki being an awful person,it's about what Izuku endures as a quirkless person. Don't get me wrong: Katsuki was an absolute asshole in this. But,he's also a fourteen year old egotistical brat. His age obviously doesn't cover for what he's done,but it doesn't make him an evil monster who wishes to abuse and victimize Izuku whenever he possibly can. That's just not true.

(Important side note: it says several times that this is the furthest Katsuki has ever gone with his bullying with Izuku. His friends even comment on Katsuki going too far. So I really don't get why the antis try to claim this is consist behaviour for Katsuki,when it clearly isn't. This doesn't make what he did OKAY though,that's not what I'm saying at all. This scene just gets blown out of proportion most of the time)

Also,let's not forget about the hypocrisy this scene brings. Many antis will say that bkdk/dkbk can't be romantic and it's toxic because Katsuki told Izuku to "kys",but here's the thing; they're the same people who argue they're strictly platonic. It makes no sense. If this relationship was actually as toxic and abusive as they say it is,then they couldn't be friends. Antis use this scene for disproving the romantic interpretation of the two,but then completely ignore it when it's not relevant to their narrative.

Now,Katsuki's ignored development! I've seem a couple antis claim that Katsuki's apology scene was a self pity speech and it was all about him. Which is...SO FUCKING WRONG? I can understand if you've read the first lines of the apology and thought, "Oh,he's just thinking about himself," if you were just really dense and had no context of the earlier events leading up to this apology and stopped reading after a page that is. It's probably one of the most stupid takes I've seen on Katsuki and Hori's writing.

In these panels Katsuki is talking about his feelings,yes. And this is important! Izuku deserves an explanation to Katsuki's bullying,Izuku deserves to hear how Katsuki actually feels. But,right after,he turns it around to talk about Izuku. This sequence of events is extremely important to what Katsuki (Hori) is trying to convey. The truth. I know a people wanted this to be about Izuku being a helpless victim,but that just isn't true to either of their characters,especially Izuku's. And these words are backed up by actions. Over. And over again. Katsuki said he was going to be there for Izuku?

(Note: I'm aware a couple of this manga panels aren't the official translations! And that's because the official translations are very DIFFERENT from what Katsuki is actually saying in those scenes)

He's there. And that's kinda something I feel people forget when thinking of Katsuki's apology. He's already been reconnecting and making it up to Izuku.

Katsuki has gone through so much development over the course of mha,and it's astonishing that people still use the first page of this manga to view Katsuki and the whole story. Of course Katsuki is going to feel incompleted and lazily written when all you focus on is the very first chapter of the manga. Foreshadowing and growth exist,let's not forget that.

Izuku the victim

This is something that definitely annoys me when I see people hating on bkdk/dkbk. Most of the time the antis hate Katsuki so much that they victimize Izuku as much as they possibly fucking can.

Was Izuku bullied? Yes! Was he mistreated? Yes!

But that doesn't make him a helpless victim who doesn't see himself as anything. Izuku does have a sense of self worth. That's just the truth. It always pisses me off when people bring up the "take a swine dive off the roof of the building," line and say if Izuku didn't get OFA he would had committed suicide. Honestly,I think when Izuku starts devaluating himself is when he receives OFA.

For example,when Katsuki backs Izuku into a wall telling him he can't get into U.A,

Izuku says "there's no harm in trying",Izuku thinks he can get into U.A,even without a quirk. He believes,deep down,he can be a quirkless hero. Until he's told otherwise from All Might,then doesn't believe in himself even more when he has OFA.

(In the anime,or just the dub,Izuku says something along the lines of, "they changed that rule!" To Katsuki when we says he can't get into U.A without a quirk,which further proves this point)

And about the, "take a swine dive off the roof" page, this doesn't effect Izuku as much as people say it did. Even in the moment. Izuku wasn't distraught,Izuku didn't go into a deep depression over it,he was pissed.

That is a look of anger. Now,why was Izuku angry? Because he didn't believe this. He knew what Katsuki was saying was just BS. In this scene he calls Katsuki an idiot,then he thinks about his mom. This scene was deep,because it was about Izuku's trauma with his mother and discovering when he was quirkless. This scene was,as I've said,to show what Izuku endures as a qurikless kid and to segway into his backstory.

As for Izuku's self worth,we also see through these pages of him being upset with his mother,he still has hope he can be a hero. He still wishes to become a hero,still acknowledging that he's quirkless,he still believes he can be.

because he doesn't let people hold him back. Because he's stubborn as fuck (a character trait people often forget Izuku has). So I really don't get why people try to paint Izuku as this kid who leaves his self Image in the hands of others,he knows he's not useless.

And when I say Izuku devaluates himself,I don't mean Izuku sees himself as useless. Izuku sees himself as a vessel for OFA from that point on and takes the responsiblity/burden of it. He dehumanized himself because of OFA,not because of the bullying he faced.

(I'm not saying this didn't hurt Izuku in anyway! It did. But I feel Izuku wasn't as effected by it as people think he is,it wasn't something Izuku saw as worth it. He knew what he wanted to be at the end of the day,and stuck the finger to everyone else.)

I hate it when people say Izuku is a basic character,then don't actually know the first thing about him.

Can't be cannon because it's shonen

This argument I can get! But,there are a couple of reasons this is still a dumb argument.

First of all,we're usually talking about shipping. So this doesn't necessarily apply to fan work,which they do for some odd reason.

Second of all,MHA is pretty lgbtq+ positive. With Toga being bi/pan,and they're being several trans characters,and let's not forget about characters like Mineta who is pretty heavily hinted to be bisexual.

And I feel Horikoshi is using the romantic shonen formula,just not in the way they thought he would...

Katsuki is very love interest coded.

With Katsuki being the one the villains (not just villains,people in general) go after to or to get a rise out of Izuku.

And,another important thing to mention when talking about shonen is Horikoshi as a writer himself.

Horikoshi is doing this for himself. He wants to enjoy what he's writing. So,if bkdk/dkbk becomes cannon? It wasn't fan pressure. He wanted to do it. If it doesn't? Same thing. And,from what I've observed,Hori REALLY likes Katsuki and Izuku.

I mean,he's done so much with these two,so many unnecessary moments,for...what? We have to remember bkdk/dkbk was seen as toxic from the fast majority of the fanbase when people starting shipping them. But,what did Hori do? He kept putting in these moments. Kept foreshadowing something...more. And in the process put down many popular ships at the time. Like,Kribaku (NOT HATING) it was seen as the healthy,fun relationship Katsuki could be in romantically. Horikoshi used this to deepen the bond between bkdk/dkbk. (And to probably to add some gay yearning angst)

and let's not forget all the unnecessary sketches he made between the two,and some of his comments on them,

(From the ultra analysis character book)

From the looks of it,Hori just enjoys these two together. Especially considering some of the new drawings/sketches he's made.

At the end of the day it doesn't matter if it's shonen or not. Horikoshi is going to do what he enjoys. And I hope he continues to do so! If mha's end doesn't result with cannon bkdk/dkbk? I couldn't care less if Horikoshi is pleased with the ending,as much as I see the cannon potential.

#greenade #dkbk #bkdk #Mha #Bnha #These are just a couple arguments I see recycled the most #deku x kacchan #dekucchan #Midoriya Izuku #Bakugou Katsuki

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argumentl · 19 hours

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Bar Boo summary - 2024/05/27 Boo's 50th bday

Its Boo's 50th birthday with TTT!

They first talked about going to see COMPLEX at Tokyo Dome together recently. Koji complained Boo took up so much space with his size, that Koji himself was forced to stand sideways to avoid intruding on the next seat.

Kaoru said that it was difficult to see from his seat, due to the people infront, so he ended up pushing the other guys sideways in order to see better, and Duttch ended up stood out in the aisle. Kaoru said 'gomen ne' to Duttch 😌

They talked about Kikkawa's high cymbal kick during the COMPLEX show, and wondered if Koji can recreate it if they get a cymbal ready. They ask Kaoru if Shinya can bring his high cymbal in, and Kaoru said Shinya might actually be watching. Boo adds that Shinya sent him a bday message earlier, and wished him good luck for the broadcast.

Talk of the COMPLEX show takes up the first 30mins.

Boo brings out a board with a list of interesting topics to discuss. The first one is 'Birthday memories'. Boo starts this by explaning how he had a bday countdown party the previous night. He was so drunk he doesn't remember much of the party, but he does remember he was desperate fo the toilet when he got home around 2am. Because he was so drunk, he couldn't find the key to his front door, and ended up fully pissing his pants. Strangely after he got in, he managed to completely clean everything up, despite being so drunk. This also happened to him once in his 20s, and he ended up getting the police to help him get his door open then (with pissed pants).

Koji then tells a story about when he was in LA with Boo, doing modelling work with the company Crimie. They had to share a hotel room, and Koji woke up in the morning to see Boo asleep flat on his back, with his massive belly and impressive morning glory. Koni then tells a similar story about having to share a hotel room with Boo once, and nearly dying from Boo's farting.

Boo asks the others if none of them have ever pissed their pants as adults. Only Tsuyoshi says he has. Duttch says he nearly shit himself when he was in America once, but had to do an 'outside shit' in the bushes in front of someones house instead. Kaoru laughs at this 😆

The next topic on the board is 'Meeting people you admire'. Kaoru says that Dir en grey were once invited bsckstage of a Kyosuke Himuro (vocal of BOØWY) show by an aquaintence while they were in LA. 4 members other than Kyo went, but there were a ton of people hanging around the dressing room door when they got there, so the 4 of them just hung out off to the side. To their surprise, they were called in, and Kaoru was super nervous. Himuro asked Kaoru, 'Are you the vocalist??', and Kaoru had to apologize that the vocalist wasn't with them.

Duttch says that at the recent COMPLEX live, Aiji was kinda playing air guitar to the music, and this reminds Kaoru of what Toshiya had said the day before at the Pierrot talk. Toshiya had said that back in the day, whenever anyone called Aiji on the phone, Aiji would always be playing guitar while on the phone.

Teru from Glay turns up to join Boo on his bday, and the others pretty much go quiet after this. Boo explains to Teru how he met all the TTT members. He first met Kaoru while he was working for MTV. MTV sent him to cover/report on a Dir live, and Boo says that Kaoru and Toshiya recognized him from MTV and made fun of his MTV persona. Kaoru says 'no, thats not how it went', but refused to give his own version of the events when asked by Koji.

Boo ends up crying from emotion a couple of times having all his friends praise him, despite being royally fat shamed for most of it too.

#kaoru #薫 #dir en grey #TTT #barboo #Boo 50th

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fireflychaosdemon · 2 days

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making a poll

this poll will be a list of random shit I’ve done that you will vote for the thing that sounds the most like something you would do

and I will be tagging every single one of my mutuals so I get more variety with this poll

CONTEXT FOR SOME OPTIONS

For the first one (told book to fuck themselves) it was too relatable because the protagonist was falling for a guy that i know became the villain and she was doing it in the same way I probably would (this actually happened half an hour ago and i was rereading the book which is why I knew)

for compliment paper I mean paper of Google slide where my seventh grade class was forced to compliment me (it was an assignment and we had to do it for everyone)

and context for “this is how you know we’re ace” I was in music class with a friend and I showed them a Pinterest thing with reversed tropes and one was “too many beds” so we were like “that would actually be so fun though, just jump from one bed to another screaming parkour” and “even with just the one bed, couldn’t you just cuddle or just sleep and not have sex” so I was like “this is how you know we’re ace” (edit: this is not meant to be a reflection of real life and I have been told it may come across like that, I was mainly talking about the trope itself)

ok now time to annoy all my mutuals (sorry)

@knight-of-hallownest @kingofballs69000 @a-being-of-chaossss @cyissupersilly @phoenixthefraud

@monpetitchattriste @moondust-on-the-hijabi @loife1m @jessicatssssalads @cartoon-fanaticism

@crowgenius @someonewhogotanaccount @waffled-iron @microwavingtoniii @lydia256

@mdj287 @bananapudding752 @bananasinyourface @incorrectatlas @lunathetransqueen

@tybalt-you-saucy-boi @bubufluture @vinxthemage @androgynousdreamercrown @reyna-obsessed

@zoesim5 @mymomichis-blog @that-multi-fandom-hijabi @thalias-pine-tree @yes-i-exist-shutup

@arany-studio @damhalfblood @qracer25y @calypso-daughter-of-atlas @ashlakh

@mushroomcarrotstick @sulkystella @ethanthespookymonth @dorcasmckinnonn @imthatweirdratinthecorner

@thepenguinpilot @accidentalally @rabbityfrogs @finleyforevermore @slurpslurpmmmoatmilk

@sungarrr @ultra2910 @anonymouscuzwhynot001 @violetpencils @thatwierdquietkidthatdraws

@brenninthetaylorverse @kat4884 @eater-of-the-sand @eater-of-the-alt @justreadertings

@minqshadow @fortunatelycoolbluebird860 @rt-hecate

so I’m sorry everyone but I want votes on this

#rb #firefly speaks #firefly asks #poll #tumblr polls #random things I’ve done #random shit

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rynbeerose · 3 days

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Someone probably had made something similar to this before but here we go:

John Price and Simon Riley’s ‘odd’ friendship

John Price knows with the job he has and how it takes most of his time, that he can’t handle a committed relationship with a civilian. He saw how it was for his parents (his dad was also in the military) and how his mum struggled from being a single parent most of the time because his dad wasn’t around much in his childhood so he doesn’t want to be with someone just to put them in his mum’s position.

The thought of having someone is great, most of the men his age in his unit are married or at least in a long term relationship with civilians, some of them even have children.

Some who aren’t in a relationship usually would hang out together after their shift, going to the pub to drink or watch football games. But most of them are in their twenties, and the ones who are his age are divorced. John doesn’t feel like he fits with the younglings, so he usually hangs with people his age listening to their ramblings about their kids or ex wives, or some women they’ve been seeing after their divorce. Not always fun.

That’s why he’s stuck to Simon, the only man around his age who doesn’t seem to ever have any relationship either. The two are close and would go to the pub together after their shift. He enjoys drinking with Simon because he doesn’t talk much, even though they would get stares from the other patrons at the pub for Simon’s habit of wearing his balaclava mask everywhere, it doesn’t bother John.

Simon actually prefers staying in his quarters after his shift, he’s an introvert after all. He doesn’t really like going out to the pub with the other lads because they can get very loud, asking questions, trying to make him talk more, trying to make him break his character, trying to make him open up, it’s annoying. But not with John.

John isn’t an introvert, he’s a very social person. He has always been friendly with everyone around the base, kind of the opposite from Simon. He’s only a few years older than Simon, he was there when Simon first got into the regiment, and he was there when the incident that made him the way he is now happened. The two never had any conversations about emotions or feelings, or those mental issues stuff, but for some reason, they kind of just understand each other. Maybe because no matter how tough and stoic John might look, he’s actually pretty empathetic. And they just bonded, they have high trust for one another.

So, that’s why, even though Simon prefers staying in after his shift, he almost never says no when John invites him for a drink or just to hang out at the pub. John knows that they don’t have to converse, never forcing Simon to talk. He’d start small conversations though, asking how his day went, how stuff has been, but he never forced the conversation to keep going if it stops. John doesn’t find the silence to be awkward, and Simon appreciates that he let it be just like that.

Other people might find them odd, though. They’d sit together and drink, not talking to each other most of the time. Maybe because they’re both big men, one wears a scary mask and the other looks like he’s been through a nonexistent divorce. Even their friends at base find the pair odd. But, that’s just their friendship.

#john price #simon riley #captain price #simon ghost riley #call of duty #modern warfare #call of duty modern warfare #ghost cod

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chevelleneech · 1 day

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Blocking every former and supposedly on the fence Buddie shipper who feels the need to tag Buddie on their posts where they claim to want Buddie to happen so badly or are in a dilemma about it going canon, because they’ve, “Seen the toxicity in the fandom and can’t take it anymore.”

Bullshit. They’re making up excuses to jump ship, when it’s really not necessary.

If you don’t want to ship Buddie, don’t ship them. It’s not against the law. It won’t get you excommunicated from the 911 fandom either, but it will make you look like a fool for acting like: 1) you didn’t know there were toxic fans in the fandom to begin with — as there are in all fandoms, or 2) there aren’t any toxic fans among the BuckTommy fandom.

You can’t claim to be tired of toxic Buddies for saying BT is bland or lack chemistry or LFJ is ugly or whatever else, when there are BT shippers saying the same exact things about Buddie and RG. Both sides have toxic fans, the only difference is that BT shippers currently have canon on their side, so those of you jumping ship are able to feel more validated in leaving.

Fans wanted Buck to be queer for nearly as long as the show has been out, and not once has anyone really shipped him with other people. Josh here and there, Connor occasionally, and that one prophet who wrote about him and Tommy. But majorly, it’s been Eddie. As such, toxic fans have been toxic when it came to any and every relationship either of them were in, so what makes Tommy any different? Did y’all really expect all the toxic fans to be happy with yet another love interest they weren’t looking forward to?

Not only that, but again, there are also toxic BT shippers, and fun fact! They didn’t pop up out of nowhere nor were they born out of defense of Buck and Tommy’s extremely new coupling.

I promise you, those same people were die hard Buddie shippers waiting with bated breath for Buck or Eddie to kiss each other or a man in general. They got it with Buck, so now they feel the need to belittle everything that came before in hopes that Tommy won’t be written out. They don’t care about character development or chemistry or Buck as an actual character either, proven by the many many posts across Tumblr, Twitter, and Tik Tok framing them as in love and smitten.

Claiming Eddie doesn’t mean anything to Buck. Claiming Tommy was a knight in shining armor. Claiming (and this is truly the fault of lazy writing and Tim and co trying to give themselves an out for under developing BT) Buck not talking about Tommy is a sign of happiness.

BT is sexual attraction first and foremost, and that’s all we know. Which is fine, I’ve said before, s8 will hopefully expand on them and their relationship if that’s the plan, but until then, there’s nothing there. Meaning there is nothing about the ship to defend the way some of their fans are doing, but somehow that’s more acceptable than Buddie fans defending Buddie? Sure.

Point is, if you’re jumping ship, go ahead. You don’t need to explain or more aptly worded, lie about why. Toxic fans exist on both sides. Most of you would just rather deal with the ones on the canon side of things, because it helps you feel better. Less embarrassed or anxious, maybe? I don’t know, because regardless of if Buddie ever goes canon, they’re not real, and there is no reason to feel anything if it turns out their shippers were wrong.

But I have to ask, what’s going to happen if BT does end? What will be the excuses for all the trash talking and belittlement of years worth of theories? What will y’all say to rectify putting one toxic group on a pedestal over the other? Because that’s what’s happening. BT shippers are being given full clearance to act like shit to people simply because their ship is canon, so what happens if that changes? What happens if Buddie does go canon? Where will all the high and mighty attitudes go?

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fvckwluv · 5 hours

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I'll Pick You Up at 8

Spencer Agnew x gender neutral reader

accidental first date fluff one shot

word count: 4.6k

A/N: I haven't written fiction in such a long time, so bare with me.

potential content warning: make-out session depicted, joking/talking about the implication of s3x (s3x NOT depicted)

Just like after every SwordAF recording session, you're still so amped up from the game, you insist the group goes out to your favorite restaurant for dinner. A small authentic Italian pizza joint, Ardovino's. And just like every time, your exhausted friends decline.

Well, everyone except Spencer.

"C'mon guys..." Your whine draws on as you pout with your whole body, like a disappointed child. "It'll be fun I promise. And the food is to die for."

Your friends' rejection wasn't new, far from it. It had actually begun to become a running joke. You always get the post-performance adrenaline rush after SwordAF. While the rest of the crew would rather wind down, you insist on a big group dinner.

"Y/N." Chanse spoke. "Leave It." The group, including you, chuckled. "The very last shoot of one of our busiest shoot weeks isn't the time for a pizza party."

"He's right, babe." Amanda chimed in. "It's time to sleep."

You throw your arms down to your sides in defeat and give Shayne a pleading look.

"Sorry." Shayne shrugs. "Me and Court are bathing the cats tonight."

"You guys are lame!" You exclaim. "You have your whole lives to sleep and bathe cats! You have only one night to rally at Ardovino's!"

"Ardovino's isn't going anywhere." Shayne retorts. "Look, we all promise, we'll do it another time."

"But I'm not gonna be here for the next week and a half!" You playfully whine. "It could go bankrupt and shut down by then!"

Spencer closely watches you from behind the cameras with a subtle smirk. The scene of you insisting they all go out never gets old to him. You get so passionate. Your eyes grow wider than they already are. You pitch dinner like it's life or death. A trait of yours Spencer has always adored.

Spencer makes his way over from behind the cameras to start putting up the mic equipment. "Y/N," He shakes his head and chuckles to himself as he wraps up various cords. "I don't think that place is in danger of shutting down as long as your around."

You scoff. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I don't think there's been a single week that's gone by since I've known you, that you haven't eaten from there." Spencer says, eyebrows raised. And a smile he couldn't get rid of, even if he tried.

"What else am I supposed to do? I make up like half their business." You joked. "Since none of my 'so called friends' have ever even set foot in the joint."

Shayne, Chanse, and Amanda are all getting up from the table, getting ready to go home for the weekend. While you keep sitting there, looking up at Spencer, with that smile he thinks about when he's all alone.

Spencer had eyes for you since you first met. Something only a close observer, and of course, Kiana, would know. You weren't just obviously and immediately stunning- you were the funniest person Spencer has ever met. And in his eyes, that was the most attractive quality a person could have. You were also incredibly caring and warm, of course. You gave steadfast support and generosity to the people in your life. The things that came out of your mouth consistently took him by surprise- whether it was your unwavering wit, completely unique observations about the world, or the most thoughtfully crafted and kindest compliments. Spencer knows you as one of the strangest and greatest people in his life.

The one thing Spencer didn't notice about you- was your clear feelings for him.

It took you guys a while to become good friends. His crush on you made him shy. But you eventually wiggled your way into his shell. And he was more than happy to accommodate you. It had almost been a year since you really formed a genuine and intimate friendship with him outside of work. Playful teasing. Inside jokes. Carpooling. Cat sitting. Late night phone calls. Stories you've never told anyone else. Testing games for the channel at Spencer's place. Ordering in. Falling asleep together on his couch.

All while you adored everything about him. His laugh. His unfiltered jokes. His attentiveness. His green eyes. His tattoos. His arms.

The same arm he was currently nudging you on the shoulder with. "Okay, fine." He groaned. "You win. Let's go to Ardovino's."

Amanda and Chanse stop in their tracks and give each other a knowing look of excitement. They, of course, being the only ones to know about your feelings for Spencer.

"Really?!" You swelled. "Wait, are you being serious?!"

Spencer laughed.

"Wait, Spencer, really?! No way! Really?!"

His eyes could fall out of his head with the way he's looking at you.

"Spencer!" You tugged on his hand and started shaking it. "Are we really gonna go to Ardovino's?!? Finally?!?"

Spencer stays quiet as he grins and basks in your excitement. That smile. Those eyes. Your excited shrill. Your hands touching his.

"Spencer!!" You give him another shake.

It pulls him out of your eyes and back into the moment. "Yes, yes. Just let me get some actual clothes on. I'll pick you up at eight o'clock."

"Oh wait," With raised eyebrows, your tone and posture softens. "Now I feel bad. I don't want you to have to change."

"Well it's a nice place, right?" He shrugs. "Can't go in like this." He motions to his old champion hoodie.

"Wait, no, nevermind." You say. "It's okay, Spence. I don't wanna put you out like that. I know you're tired."

"Yeah, y/n, you're really putting me out." He mocks. "Going to dinner with a beautiful thing like you. How burdensome."

Beautiful?

You give him a quizzical look, but can't help the huge smile creeping on your face and the color rushing to your cheeks. Your suddenly extremely aware of your grip on his hand. It starts to feel very hot, almost burning.

"Relax." Spencer says, very softly, almost a whisper. "I wanna go with you. I'll be at your place at eight, okay?"

As he looks down at you with a smirk, there's something in his eyes that excites you. But also starts making the eye contact between the two of you intense.

You can barely utter out "Okay."

"Okay." He says with a smile, again in that soft tone. He gives your hand a squeeze before turning to leave.

Your eyes linger on the door as he exits the game stage. He left you with a smile you can't seem to shake.

Amanda and Chanse are gripping each others shoulders with their jaws on the floor as you slowly turn your body to face them.

Shayne is oblivious.

---

"Okay." You let out a breath as you give your outfit a onceover in the mirror.

"Now that's a first date fit." Chanse says eating popcorn from your couch.

"Chanse. I don't know how many times I have to say this- but this isn't a date. I basically begged him to take me to dinner."

"That's not what I saw. He couldn't wait to pick you up at eight." Chanse mimics Spencer in a provocative tone.

"Well it's just dinner, Chanse. Me and Spencer eat together all the time."

"Yeah, at the office or your guys' apartments. Not at a fancy, romantic pizzeria."

"It's not fancy or romantic."

"He called you beautiful."

You scoff. "I call you beautiful all the time. What? Is this a date? Are we dating now?"

"Yeah but he obviously likes you."

"You know you keep saying that, and then nothing happens. He's never made a move- or done literally anything to indicate he's into me."

"What are you talking about?! It's happened like a million times! You always just brush it off!"

"I don't brush him off!"

"Yes you do. You brush him off because you're too scared of rejection."

You roll your eyes. "Well, Chanse, normal people are plenty scared of rejection."

Chanse puts his hand to his chest, pretending to be offended. "Oh am I not normal?"

"No." You emphasize. "You're some superhuman freak. You can just walk up to anybody and start flirting."

"And you wanna know what the worst thing that happened was?"

You tilt your head at him and put your hands on your hips.

"They didn't reciprocate. And I just keep on living."

"Yeah, but if Spencer rejects me..." You trail off defeatedly. You search for the words, and suddenly the weight of all that you'd feel if Spencer were to reject you comes crashing down. "I couldn't just brush that off, Chanse. I like him. So much. It'd crush me."

"Well, I think living in this limbo of unknown feelings and 'what ifs?' for the rest of your life- would crush you even more."

Your phone buzzes with a text from Spencer.

On my way :)

"Shit, that's him." Your heart sinks. Suddenly this all becomes very real and the fact that you and Spencer are going to be having a candlelight dinner sends nerves throughout your entire body.

"You need to get out of here before he comes." You pull Chanse off the couch and take away the bowl of popcorn.

As you push him towards the door Chanse laughs. "If it's not a date, why can't I stay?"

You stop and he turns to face you.

"I mean it's just two friends getting together, right? Why don't I just tag along, too?" Chanse smirks.

You're ready to call his bluff.

"The more the merrier." You smile.

"Great."

Silence surrounds the staring contest between the two of you.

"It's not a date, Chanse."

"Then why'd you choose that underwear?"

You roll your eyes and start pushing him out the door again. "Goodbye."

Chanse manages a very rushed "Use protection!" before you slam the door on him.

---

In the car, on the way to your apartment, Spencer gets a call. It's Kiana.

He answers the phone from the bluetooth system on the steering wheel. "Hello?"

"Why did I just get a text from Chanse that you and y/n are going on a date?" Kiana questions.

"Date? I mean, we're going to dinner?"

"And you didn't tell me?! This is your chance Spence!"

Spencer rolls his eyes. Then an idea strikes him. "Wait, date? Is that the word Chanse used?"

"Well, no. He said you two are going to Ardovino's right now. Alone."

"Well yeah, Kiana, that's not a date."

"You can make it one."

Spencer furrows his eyebrows. "What does that even mean?"

"I mean, you want it to be a date, right? And I can bet you, she wants it to be a date, too."

"I don't think so."

"Spencer, y/n obviously likes you."

"Then why haven't they told me?"

"Why haven't you told them?!"

"You know why, Kiana. I can't risk that. If I put everything out there, and they don't feel the same way..." Spencer follows the trail of thought where he confesses his feelings. You rejecting him. You distancing yourself from him. No longer being friends. No longer being able to make you laugh. No more late night phone calls. No more you. You weren't something he was willing to lose. "It'd ruin everything."

"But if you go on like this, you'll lose y/n either way. They'll eventually meet someone who'll actually make a move."

For a while, there's a silence where only the cars on the road can be heard.

"There's always gonna be that what if in your head if you don't just go for it. And it'll be too late." Kiana says. "A nice dinner is the perfect place to tell her how you feel."

---

As Spencer shuffles up the steps to your apartment, Kiana's words couldn't get out of his head. What if you did meet someone else? The thought of anyone else being with you- hugging you, kissing you, making you laugh- stung.

He knocks on your door.

What if you did want this to be a date? What if this was his chance? What if he told you his feelings and you told him yours back? What if he kissed you and you kissed him back? What if-

All at once, Spencer's thoughts go quiet and his breath hitches. You open the door. You're the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. His eyes are more than happy to take you all in. He's too preoccupied staring at you to even greet you.

"Hi." You sheepishly say after a few seconds of silence.

Spencer looked so handsome. And the smell of his cologne was intoxicating.

"H- hey." He let out with a lot of air and a huge smile. You can see him looking over all of you. "You look..." He meets your eyes. "You're gorgeous."

You smile and feel the warmth rush to your cheeks, as well as to the pit of your stomach. "Thanks, Spence." You step closer to him and playfully tug on the collar of his white polo shirt. "You look very handsome." You giggle.

A playful moment, quickly turns into tension you could cut with a knife. Your faces now, just inches apart. Your hand still on his collar. Eye contact unbroken.

You look down at his lips for a split second when you suddenly hear a car horn down the street. It makes you guys jump back and laugh.

"Well..." You break the silence. "I thought we could walk there. It's only like ten minutes down the street. If that was okay with you?"

"Sounds perfect." Spencer smiles. He offers out his arm, doing his gentleman voice. "M'lady?"

You laugh. "M'lord." You link arms with his.

The walk there is filled with a very comfortable silence. It's not lost on you how nice being this close to him feels. You have a tight grip on his bicep.

Spencer is more than happy. Such a beautiful person like you, wrapped around his arm. He keeps almost running into things with how many times he's looking at you.

As you walk in to the restaurant, the older southern hostess, Lynn, you've seen many, many times greets you by name. "Hey, y/n! Welcome!"

Spencer laughs. "Come here that often, huh?"

You smile and roll your eyes at him.

"So who's the handsome fella?" Asks Lynn.

"Oh, this is Spencer." You say, gesturing your hand toward him.

"Well, Spencer, it's nice to meet you." Lynn smiles. "I hope you know you are one lucky man to be out on a date with this one!"

As you open your mouth to correct her, Spencer agrees. "Well, more like the luckiest man alive."

Lynn laughs. "Aw, well, ain't that cute? Right this way you two."

You give Spencer a bewildered look. But, of course, a huge smile on your face. Was Chanse actually right? Was this a date?

He doesn't look back at you. Instead he links your arm with his and leads you as he's walking.

His heart beating out of his chest. His nerves feel like fire. He was so nervous, but also, relishing this moment.

Lynn lets you know your waitress is on the way and walks away. Spencer pulls out your chair and helps you in. He sits down and starts looking at the menu.

You see a cool, calm, collected, nonchalant Spencer turning through the pages. Yet, what you don't know is, he's too scared to make eye contact with you.

You pick up your menu trying to follow his lead. But can't think straight. You haven't stopped smiling. A few moments go by and you keep putting down your menu to say something, but then go back to reading it.

Finally, with a huge smile, and raised eyebrows you say, "A date?"

Spencer freezes and looks up at you. "Hmm?"

"You're the luckiest man alive to be on a date with me?"

"Uh.." Spencer shifts in his seat. "You know.. uh- well... yeah."

Your heart flips.

"I mean, look at you." He gestures at you like it's obvious. "If this was a date, I'd be the luckiest man alive."

If?

Before you can say anything the waitress comes.

---

Dinner was great. It was just like any other time between the two of you. Great conversation. Lots of laughter. Untold stories. Except you were admiring his lips throughout your meal. And when you'd look away, so was he.

After an awkward fight for the bill, he wins.

He opens the door for you on the way out. You guys stand outside and just look at each other. No words are spoken, but you can feel a tension. Then you both instinctively laugh at the same time.

"Well..."

"Well.."

You didn't want this night to end. You look at the place across the street you go to often, and an idea strikes.

"Up for dessert?" You ask. "That place has the best churros in LA."

"Hell yeah." He extends his arm out to you again, and you take it. You guys find a break in between cars to jog across the street.

"¡Hola, hermosa!" Rita, the woman who owns the small churro stand, and at this point, a close personal friend, greets you. "Nice to see you!"

"Hi, Rita." You smile.

"Been here a lot, too, huh?" Spencer laughs.

"Shut up."

"This you boyfriend?" Rita asks.

You and Spencer both look at each other. Both of you secretly wishing you could answer 'yes' to that question.

"That's what everyone seems to think." You chuckle.

"Let me get a picture!" She says motioning to the cork board full of polaroids of couple who have eaten here.

"Oh, Rita, it's okay. We're ju-" Before you can finish your sentence she is out there with her camera.

"Okay, c'mon, c'mon, get close." She motion at the two of you.

You look at Spencer. "I'm so sorry, is this okay?"

"It's totally fine." He laughs.

He put his arm around your waist.

A chill rushes through you.

"One. Two. Three."

The camera clicks.

"Okay now kiss!"

You laugh awkwardly. "Oh, it's okay-"

"C'mon! Kiss!" Rita insists. "C'mon, such a good photo!"

Spencer and you look at each other with awkward smiles, not knowing what to do. You did want to kiss him, of course, but not like this. Not for the first time.

"I'll give you a peck on the cheek." Spencer whispers. "If that's okay with you."

You look up at him, flustered. "Oh, yeah, yeah. That's good."

He plants a kiss on your cheek. A sweet and intimate moment that makes both of your stomachs flutter. Rita snaps the photo.

"Beautiful!" Rita exclaims. "I'll bring out your usual now, okay?"

You and Spencer sit and wait on the curb in front of the stand. Rita brings one large churro and a huge cup of horchata to you guys and hands it to Spencer.

As you go through your stuff to pull out your cash, Spencer moves for his wallet. "Oh no, I got it, y/n."

"No, no, no!" Rita smiles. "On the house for the happy couple." She points at Spencer. "Just treat y/n right."

"Yes ma'am." Spencer chuckles.

"Oh! And here you go. One for you." Rita hands you the polaroid of Spencer kissing you on the cheek. "See? Such a good photo."

Rita walks away, and you and Spencer sit in a moment of silence looking at the picture.

"Wow." He breaks it. "You usually eat all this by yourself?" He laughs.

You hit his arm and giggle. "No! I come here with Chance... sometimes."

Spencer lets air escape his nose. He looks over to you with an endearing smile. Something in his tone shifted "And she never thinks Chanse is your boyfriend?"

"Well..." You blush and bring the photo closer to show him. "I guess you and I just have that undeniable chemistry." You joke.

"Yeah I mean, I get it." He says, placing the food down at his side, and grabbing the photo from you. "That's one handsome couple."

You both chuckle. As the sound fades and it's just the two of you in silence, you stare deep into each others eyes. Spencer notices a spark in yours that seems to be new.

It seems like every sign was telling you this was a date. Other people were literally telling you this was a date. Looking into his eyes, your heart swelled up to your throat. You cleared it, breaking the silence.

You leaned your body against Spencer to reach across him to get the churro that was on his other side. "Well..." You gesture for him to take a bite as you hold it. "Tell me what you think."

---

You threw your trash away and said bye to Rita.

"Onward?" Spencer, once again, offers his arm.

"Onward." You smile taking it.

Now, on the opposite side of the street, you pass your favorite café. It's pretty empty and there is a small jazz band out front you've seen play there plenty of times.

"Hey!" Mr. Reeves, the old pianist, stops playing when he sees you. The band follows with greetings as well.

"Hello, Mr. Reeves. Hello, everyone. How are you?"

"Well, I'm much better now after seeing you!" Mr. Reeves offers a friendly smile.

"Jesus, you really get out a lot, huh?" Spencer whispers in your ear and nudges your side. You look up at him and roll your eyes.

"Does your boyfriend here wanna dance?" Mr. Reeves asks.

"Jesus, you really get mistaken for my boyfriend a lot, huh?" You both laugh.

"Well, son? Are you gonna ask this pretty young thing to dance or not?" Mr. Reeves asks. The rest of the band joins in, egging Spencer on.

After a moment, of looking at each other. Spencer gives you a playful shrug. "Why not?" Spencer unlinks his arm from yours and offers his hand. "Will you do me the honors?"

You look at him in amazement. Your heart beating out of your chest. This was really happening. With a smile so wide, you take his hand.

The band starts playing your favorite old-timey love song you've told them so much about.

Spencer has a hand around each side of your waist, with a firm grasp. You have your hand wrapped around the back of his neck. You hadn't been this close to him for this long, ever. Without saying anything and only the occasional break in eye contact, you sway side to side on the pavement.

Once you both were able to push past the nerves, it was pure bliss. Spencer had the person of his dreams in his hands. He still hadn't gotten over how beautiful you looked tonight- tripping over his words during conversations you had throughout the night. He knew he couldn't push down his feelings any longer. Everyone thinking you were a couple, kissing you on the cheek, dancing with you- if all of this was a possibility for the two of you going forward, it was worth the risk of anything. He had to let you know how he felt. He was in love.

And you knew in that moment, you felt the same way.

As the song ended, the band started clapping for you both.

"Thanks for that." Spencer places some cash in a hat the band had in front of them. "Seriously thank you." He whispers to Mr. Reeves. Spencer would put his entire bank account in that hat to thank them for giving him that moment with you.

"So..." You giggle.

"So." Spencer repeats with a warm smile. This time, he offers his hand for you to hold. You happily take it. "Just no more detours, okay?" You both laugh.

As he guides you up the steps to your front porch you don't let go of his hand. And he doesn't let go of yours. You lean your back against the door, and give him a big smile.

You can't keep it in anymore.

"Well, Spencer. I think you just might be the luckiest man alive."

"Oh really? Why's that?" He grabs your other hand now too.

"Dinner, dancing, kissing... I think that was a date."

"Well, since that was a date..." A smile grew on his face. "That was the best date I've ever been on."

Your heart is pounding out of your chest. His too.

"Me too." You whisper.

You stare into each others eyes. And a brand new kind of silence embraces you both. You let go of his hand and pull on his collar again, bringing him a few inches from your lips. His hands go to your waist.

You stare at each other again. This time, obvious glances to each others lips. Your faces slowly gravitate towards each other.

Your foreheads touch.

Then your noses.

Then your lips.

A peck at first, but then quickly becoming deeper. Your hands are tightly tugging his collar to pull him even closer into you. His hands are even tighter around your waist to pull you closer to him.

You pull away with your eyes closed and with a big smile. You take in some fresh air and open your eyes. Your heart stops when you open them, and he's already looking at you, like he's hungry. He places his forehead on yours again.

"Holy shit, I can't believe this is happening." You giggle. He does too.

"Me neither." You both close your eyes again. "I've wanted to do that for such a long time."

"Me too." You whisper.

"Can I kiss you again?" He asks.

You answer by kissing him. Deeper and harder than before. Nothing but smiles each time his and your lips part. His hand travels up your body, to the side of your chin and neck. With the other still firmly against your waist. Both you and Spencer's breathing gets heavier. A mmm escapes your lips. Which sends an excited chill through Spencer's body.

You both pull away not being able to say anything for a bit. Your chests rising and falling rapidly as you try to catch your breathes.

"Spencer." You say between breaths.

"Y/n."

"I'm gonna ask you something, okay? But just let me finish before you answer. Okay?"

"Okay."

"I'm gonna ask if you want to come inside." You say with a shaky voice. "But... I think I should tell you... I have feelings for you. I have... deep, strong, feelings." Spencer doesn't break the intense stare he is giving you. You ramble on. "And if something were to happen in there, it would mean a lot more to me than just one night. I'd want something more than just that. I'd want you. Like, in a relationship, or whatever." You swallow the lump in your throat. Your pace quickens. "And if you don't feel the same way, that's totally okay. I'll be happy looking back on this night as a fun, spontaneous thing, you know? I'll be okay. And I'd wanna still be friends." Tears start to build in your eyes and you can feel your throat get heavier. "But I can't go any further if you don't feel the same way. Because if that happens... It's more than just a fun, spontaneous thing for me. It's... everything. So when I ask you to come inside, you can only say yes if you feel the same. Okay?"

You let out a big sigh. "Do you wanna come in?"

"Y/n, I...." Spencer closely studies your face. He gently wipes a tear that had fallen down your cheek. He takes your hand and places it over his chest. You can feel his heart beating rapidly.

"I love you." He says. "I wanna be with you... even if nothing else happens. I just want you. I always have. There's nothing I want more than just you. I love you."

"I love you too."

You smile and let out a breath of relief. Your lips and bodies embrace each other once again. You open the door, and he follows you inside.

#smoshblr #spencer agnew x reader #spencer agnew fanfiction #spencer agnew fanfic #spencer agnew imagine #smosh rpf #smosh fanfiction

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tealeiff · 20 hours

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Mesmerizer fanart + theory

This here is an artwork that took me 7 hours to complete. I drew it on ibis paint because I am a loser with no money.

As soon as I saw this music video, I knew I had to draw them, Teto just because I really liked her outfit and Miku because I wanted to see how creepy looking I could make her.

Here; you may find the screenshot I used as reference,

Also, here's a fun little comparison for your viewing pleasure:

Now, onto my theory and sort of "analysis" of the video, which seems to vary quite a bit from usual ones I see. Most people are talking about the message of the song or video instead of what's actually happening; a dystopian plot involving hypnotism as a psychological weapon against the populace.

Let me explain... Miku and Teto are performers in a children's show, unwilling performers. Or, at the very least, Teto is and Miku is either blissfully unaware of what's going on or complacent, moreso the latter as it makes more sense. I believe Miku and Teto were forced to be actors in this children's show, which seems innocent enough with bright colors and basic lessons, such as spelling, as seen in the music video. Perhaps they were kept there against their will, forced to perform, threatened with their lives if they do not comply.

"But why?" you may ask ever so innocently. Well, I have the answers for you. You see, the government wants control over the people, and they realized that hypnotism was the way to do it. They could turn the people into mindless drones that can't fight back or have a voice and have complete, total control. So, they decided they would broadcast this hypnosis on TV through some disguised as a children's program to lure in the most people. Children would be watching it, and likely so would their parents too. Miku and Teto were the actors they made perform for them, and were also one of the first few people to have the hypnosis used on them. Teto would resist being hypnotized for a long time, about ten days as shown in the music video. Miku however allowed herself to be hypnotized as she had no hope.

During filming, Teto would continually resist being hypnotized, but also make several calls for help. In the video she blinks in Morse code "SOS," and she signs for help twice. Note that the words in the quiz section of the video also spell "help" using the first letter of each one. Teto resists the hypnosis for as long as she could because she was hopeful. She couldn't speak out or escape on her own, so she signed for help, hoping that someone, anyone would notice the signs. She wanted someone to save her and Miku, put an end to this, and keep everyone safe from literal government mind control. However, she was unsuccessful and even she became hypnotized by the end and would be a mindless husk too, a shell of her former self.

Or, the video could totally be a metaphor for depression and what not, like people are saying, and I'm just saying words. Who knows?

#hatsune miku #kasane teto #mesmerizer #art #digital art #vocaloid #fanart #analysis #music video #utau

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passerkirbius · 7 hours

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Compulsory Voting Looks Like...?

In my Voting With Spite post, I mentioned that Australia has compulsory voting, and I noted that quite a few people had either positive or negative reactions to that idea. I thought it might be a good idea to talk briefly about what Compulsory Voting actually does to your voting scene.

Now, to be clear, I'm going to be talking about the Australian Experience - that's what I know. I'm aware that Brazil and Belgium both have Compulsory Voting as well, and their experiences are likely to be a bit different. So, let's go through the big ones:

Do you need ID to vote?

Here, the answer is no - an ID can help, because when you get your name marked off the roll at a voting station, they use your name and address, and our driver's licenses have that, but it's not essential. Indeed, if you've changed address and that hasn't been recorded on the roll, you can still vote - this is called a "declaration vote", because the vote is put into an envelope where you "declare" that the information provided is correct, and the vote is counted once the electoral commission has verified the information.

One might think that this open up our system to a lot of fraud, but one of the fun parts about compulsory voting is that voter fraud is very easy to study - in such a system, if someone steals someone else's identity to vote, it will appear that that person has voted twice, and it gets investigated. The only other big fraud option is fraudulent enrolment - and again, because everyone is on the electoral role, if there's concern regarding a fraudulent enrolment, the electoral commission can check with people at the address of the enrolment. The AEC do these sorts of checks after every election, and it turns out, while there are often double votes, most of those are administrative errors (crossing off the wrong person somewhere), or entirely innocent (people with memory issues voting multiple times because they forgot that they'd already voted). During the 2018 election, only 118 cases were deemed worth forwarding to the Federal Police, out of over 20 million votes.

Do Politicians still play to the base?

In Voluntary voting systems, there is a well-known phenomenon where there's an incentive for politicians to, instead of trying to aim for policies that will satisfy the most people, to instead aim directly at their "base", their natural political home voters. The idea is that you don't actually need to persuade the other side to vote for you, you actually need to persuade your side to vote for you. The only prevailing counter to this is that you don't want to be so egregious that you motivate the other side to vote against you.

Historically, this has not been the case in Australia. In Australia, you can depend on your base to vote for you - they aren't going to stay at home, because it's compulsory to vote.

So they play to the centre?

Honestly, it's complicated. The question is often not about whether you're politically "in the middle", but where you live - Just like in other electorates, there are safe seats (where voter movement isn't likely to kick out the incumbent party) and marginal seats (where the margin of votes for a given party is quite small, generally less than 5%). Marginal seats are where political parties can potentially score a seat with only a little bit of a push, so it's standard strategy to build your campaign promises to directly target those marginal voters.

What those marginal voters actually want varies quite a bit, depending on where in the country they are - a marginal seat in Rural NSW need different targeting than a tiny marginal seat in Melbourne. In general these voters are looking for actual improvements in facilities and economic policy, rather than ideology, so while politicians from those seats may be absolute culture warriors, that often isn't what people in the seat are asking about or listening to - they want to know what the nutcase is actually going to do for them.

With that said, rural voters are more likely to want a personal connection to their MP and are much more likely to vote on who they, personally, like the most. This is less the case in Urban electorates, who care much less about who the MP is and what they're like, and much more about their party's platform.

But also also, there is a strong emphasis in politics about playing to "Ordinary Australians", which one can consider a code for "centre views". Of course, Australia as a society is pretty conservative in many ways, so what you consider "centre" may be a little left of what we consider "centre"...

So yeah, not nearly as simple as "playing to the centre" - there's a lot more involved there.

Are there such thing as "Independent" voters?

In Australia, at least, the idea of an "Independent" voter doesn't really exist - Australia's leaders aren't voted for in Primaries, so you don't need to have your political affiliation marked. Some Australians are members of political parties, but that number is tiny - in 2022, the two major parties had 100,000 members between them, in a population of 26 million people - about 0.4% of the population, maybe 0.5% if we count all the minor parties as well.

Are compulsory voters more engaged voters?

In a word? No. Australian society in general doesn't encourage people being overly involved or engaged in politics, especially in working-class subcultures (and of course, every Australian claims to be working class, regardless of their actual class). Like in many places, there's a pressure in face-to-face conversation to suppress political discussion to avoid conflict, and I can assure you that researching your candidates/parties before an election isn't a common activity (and I understand why - there's so many of them).

As a consequence, Australians don't tend to change their vote that often - in fact, studies in Australia have shown that there's a strong correlation between how you vote, and how your parents vote. A Labor voter is likely to stay a Labor voter, and a Liberal voter is likely to stay a Liberal voter, even if they're not a member of the party. This is why most election promises are much more about giving stuff to voters, rather than about legislation around society itself - It's considered safer to deal with infrastructure than it is to deal in culture wars issues.

Wait, if voters don't change often, how do opposition win?

Well, rarely is the honest answer to that question here. Since 1950, the party in federal government has changed only seven times:

Once in 1972, from the Coalition to Labor

Once in 1975, from Labor to the Coalition (although that one was a particularly odd one)

Once in 1983, from the Coalition to Labor

Once in 1996, from Labor to the Coalition

Once in 2007, from the Coalition to Labor

Once in 2013, from Labor to the Coalition

Once in 2022, from the Coalition to Labor

And during that time, there's been 27 elections, so in 20 out of 27 elections, the incumbent won. But with that said, every time the opposition wins, it's in a landslide, winning a huge number of seats.

The reasons for this are obviously complex, but the way I like to think about is that in Australia there's a certain inertia in the voting populace. Once your vote is set, there's not a lot that's going to change that vote - you're generally going to vote for the party that aligns most with you, and that isn't likely to change much. But as a party keeps fucking up (because they always fuck up), the more that votes wobbles - it might, initially, move your party down the preferences, which you might not notice (because it still funnels to you), but eventually, you've pissed off so many people that everyone votes for anyone but you arseholes, which results in the other party getting in with a landslide.

The previous government is usually horrifically savaged, to the point that it takes a few election cycles for them to slowly rebuild numbers, regain talent, and get themselves into a position where, now that the other side has fucked up sufficiently, voters are willing to let them have another shot at the big time.

This, awkwardly, also tends to stifle politically-lead social change, as well. Firstly, it can take decade or more for a party that is willing to engage with your chosen direction of society to become the Government, and even once they are there, it tends to be the case that Governments won't consider leading such changes until they are certain that everyone wants it - The Gay Marriage Postal Survey is an example. Any opinion poll could show you that the majority of Australians were for gay marriage, but the Coalition government of the time was against it. As a delaying tactic, they insisted on a postal survey (it couldn't be a plebiscite, because they couldn't get that through their own MPs) so every Australian had to vote on the issue. The result? 61.6% were for Gay Marriage (and up to 90% in some electorates!).

What if you can't vote?

Australia is something of a world leader in working to ensure that everyone can vote, because it's been generally established that you can't punish someone for not doing something the government has made it impossible for you to do. So, all Australians have access to:

Early Voting (usually for at least 3 weeks before election day)

Postal Voting (and you just have to post it on Election day, it can be received afterwards).

The voting infrastructure is set up that you can vote at any polling station in your state (we now print lower house ballots on demand, so every station has access to every ballot), and there are specific polling stations for interstate voters (where upper house ballots for every state are available).

There are mobile polling stations for voters, so even if you live in a remote town and can't drive to the nearest polling station, polling stations can drive out to you!

These mobile polling stations also attend prisons and hospitals to provide voting access for people who cannot leave to vote.

We even now have telephone voting for Blind folk, with a specialised system set up to allow for a secret ballot, so the phone person assisting the blind voter won't know who the blind voter is.

Australian embassies in other countries are also available for voters, although you are not actually required to vote if you're not in the country during the election campaign.

So, our voting infrastructure is built, as much as is practicable, to ensure that every voter gets every opportunity to vote. If you can't get to a booth on the day, you can early vote or postal vote.

To be clear, this is not a requirement of compulsory voting - it's quite possible to go to this level of effort in a voluntary voting system, and I can absolutely imagine a compulsory voting system that also made it difficult for people to vote (likely disproportionately affecting your political enemies).

Does Compulsory Voting help Minor Parties?

Not really - Preferential voting definitely helps minor parties, but not Compulsory voting. There is one way it might help though - As noted above, if you're pissed off with your current party, you may bump another party higher up on your preferences, even put them as your "1" vote. In a Voluntary voting system, such people might, instead choose not to vote and stay at home, so in that sense, I guess minor parties can be the beneficiaries of voter anger, but of course, that couldn't be the case without preferential voting.

Got more questions? My asks are always open! Ask away!

#australia #mandatory voting #compulsory voting #voting #elections #explainer

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