#but then ill continue to 'rest' (i dont feel like im resting but i suppose its a break from being creative

[gaystardykeco]

parents love to say "idk how u turned out so anxious and insecure" and then tell u everything u wear and every decision u make is Wrong and Bad

#literally cant even put on a new tshirt in this family without getting told i fucked it up #and then everyones shocked that i hate myself and feel ugly all the time #i just actually felt like i kind of looked okay and had a cute outfit on #which is huge for me bc tshirts are usually so hard for me to feel comfortable in at all #and then i get told i look stupid in front of all my relatives #this is fully why i cant trust myself to even dress myself like i apparently just dont understand what looks good #how the fuck am i ever supposed to feel okay if i cant trust myself to even put together shorts and a tshirt into a presentable outfit #i know im being too sensitive and i sound like an angsty teenager its just been such a shitty day already and this is just another thing #and being around my family 24/7 is continuing to take a major toll on my mental health which already sucked to begin with lmao #just three more days of this. and then ill be home and i can rest (for one day then i go back to work which is also hell!!)

[takasgf]

🧁Ishigeru facts time🧁 (copied from insta)

♡; Ishi doesnt celebrate easter, but Frog still invites him and his dad to the Usheri family celebration (her mom and cousins are christian). He is very helpful and contributes to all the food they have to prepare. He does it both because he likes being helpful and is incredibly good at following instructions when it comes to cooking new dishes buuut he also wants to show Froggy's mom that he is a hard worker, he appreciates the culture of the Usheris and he is worthy enough to be Frogeru's partner and future husband!! Literally everyone in her family approves of them being together except for her mom because she's petty and only sees him as the grandson of a terrible, terrible leader. He desperately wants to prove to her that he is more than that and that he is actively working to restore his family name's honor. And he really, really loves Frogeru and doesnt want to break up with her just because her mom sees him as less than worthy. This got sad fast :( but besides Anca's rude behaviour towards him and Froggy even, the easter celebration goes rather well and they have lots of fun :3

♡; Frogeru loves his attention more than anything and she pretends to be scared of thunderstorms. They do bother her because of the noise, but in reality she's okay-ish with them. Around Ishi, especially when its just the two of them chilling at home, she puts on a scared face just to get a bit of extra affection from him. Otherwise she is genuine with her emotions around him, it's just a little trick to get a bit of comfort from him when she doesnt really need it, since he can usually be quite shy about initiating affectionate gestures. What a troll!!!!!!

#i cant draw at all. im in a bit of a sad unmotivated spot right now #ill do another simple collage later #but then ill continue to 'rest' (i dont feel like im resting but i suppose its a break from being creative #i dont know whats going on. i love ishi and i want to show it but my creativity levels have reached 0 #ishigeru

[louscartridge]

the secret four months. matt sturniolo x gn reader.

requested by- @fandomxs1

summary- y/n and matt are in a secret relationship. not even matts brothers know and one question unlocks everything. 

cw- mention of a dog dying, shy/flusterd matt, secret relationship, gn reader, nick hitting matt, i think thats it. 

“not really a question but my dog just died and it sucks. its quiet, almost weird without him” nick reads yet another confession thing.

you were in another car video with the boys where people would submit questions, things they need advice on, ect. i know, original. 

you were the first one to answer. “what my dad did for me is i have this necklace.” you say leaning forward and showing the camera the necklace. whenever you were in a car video you and matt sat in the front and nick and chris were in the back. chris and nick never knew why matt insisted on you sitting in the front, they just assumed it was a ‘ladies first’ respect type of thing. “and its like.. a mini urn. it has half of my dogs ashes in it and my dad has the rest. so if you think having something like that would help, you can do that maybe.”

“and like- you know, dont be like rushing trying to get another dog or pet or something. just take your time. you might not ever want to get another dog you know? and thats fine too.” chris added.

after a few more questions this specific one didnt get an audible answer right away.

“so im dating this guy but he wants to keep our relationship a secret and at first it was cool and thrilling and it still is but im scared itll get boring i guess and well loose interest.” nick reads.

you and matt look at each other for a couple seconds, him slightly smirking. you two quickly look away from each other when you notice chris was looking at the two of you, trying not to laugh. 

“....what was THAT?!” nick askes abruptly loud leaning it to the console of the front seats. 

“what was what?” you laugh.

“you and matt! looked at each other. like REALLY weirdly.”

matt nervously laughs blushing a bit.

“and matts blushing!” chris squeals pointing at matt.

you snort out of how long theyve been completely oblivious. 

“do you want to tell them or should it?” you ask to which matt just responds by sinking down into his seat. “ok i will then. me and matt are daitingg!” you enthusiastically say with jazz hands. 

nick turns his head, still in the center console to look as matt. “mAatuh!” nick yells hitting matt. 

“stop hitting me i didnt do anything-”

chris pops his head in-between the space of the car doors and the passenger seat to look at you. “and you didnt tell us??” chris talks over nick, his face being extremley close to yours. 

“well the conversation never came up! what were we supposed to do? just randomly come up to you and be like ‘were dating! ok wanna get some food?”

“shut up!” nick yells leaning back, back into the middle seat. “were all talking at the same time and i cant understand anyone! matt, how. long.” nick asks making you laugh slightly at his wording.

“ok really y/n?”

“four months.” matt mumbles smiling. 

“FOUR MONTHS??” nick repeats loudly making all of you laugh.

“YEAH!!” matt says matching the loudness of nick voice.

you feel chris fall into your seat and hear his breathless laughter.

“TWO MORE MONTHS AND ITLL BE HALF OF A YEAR MATT!” nick continues. 

“i know that, i know how many months are in a year.” 

“congratulations you love birds!” chris sarcastically rolls his eyes. “i hope you know ill still be flirting with matt. i dont care” 

“chris!” 

“we need to answer the question!”

#chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #nick sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #the sturniolo triplets #the sturniolos #the sturniolo triplets x reader #the sturniolos x reader #x reader #reader #x yn #yn #y/n #x y/n #ff #fanfiction #fanfic #sturniolo triplets #sturniolos

[b1mbodoll]

i am so taerae fat cock enthusiast and i cant stop thinking about taerae stretching you around his cock when youre sleeping beside him 😵‍💫 you already said he wouldn't fit bcs hes so big so you didnt let him fuck you but youre so cute n innocent he cant help pulling your panties to the side and making it fit </3 he would quite literally split you in half fucking you so so good (๑>◡<๑) he would be so deep inside you too! all u can do is lay there and cry! but dont worry he'll press sweet sweet kisses on your face when he's finished emptying his cum in you <3 hopefully you dont get pregnant! youre not on the pill ♡♡♡♡♡

from 🎀 anonie!

also how have you been? i hope todays been treating you well! i caught covid so TT i dont know how active ill be but take care of yourself and be hydrated baby! 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

pairings: kim taerae x f! reader

warnings: virgin killer taerae + noncon + blood + anal + gaping + creampies + spit

💌: hi sweetpea im so sorry for the late reply again T_T but thank u for this, im crying !! also i know ur feelin’ better n not sick anymore so stay safe and healthy my love !!! i miss u </3

“fuck this pussy’s so tight,” taerae whispers, trying to bully his thick length into your cunt.

it’s always a struggle working his dick into virgin holes but it’s so worth it when he succeeds, pushing through your hymen and watching the blood leak down his girthy dick. the feeling of your tight walls without a condom in the way making taerae fuck into you harshly, forcing the rest of his length inside of you.

“taerae s-stop!” your voice is strained, pain coursing through you at the intrusion. “’s too big! pull it out please!” your cries do nothing but spur him on, grinding his hips experimentally.

“don’t worry, princess. i’ll make it fit” he grunts, tangling his fingers in your hair and forcing your cheek into the bed as he fucks away your virginity, slick sounds caused by a mixture of your arousal and blood filling the room.

“hurts! it hurts,” you cry, “please stop.” despite your complaints you clench around him so tight and it’s almost like your sweet cunt doesn’t wanna part with his cock, making him grin wickedly.

“you keep sayin’ it hurts but you’re so wet, baby” he teases, pulling out until just the tip is inside of you before thrusting forward quickly, making your breath hitch. “you like the pain, don’t you?” taerae’s so fucking mean it makes you sob pitifully, almost making him ease up.

once you get used to the feeling of his cock punching your cervix you can’t help but moan at the feeling and your sounds don’t go unnoticed by him, his eyes locked on your cunt sucking him in nicely.

“‘m gonna cum!” you exclaim, squeezing your eyes shut because the pleasure is so overwhelming and you can’t stop yourself from meeting his thrusts, high pitched mewls escaping you every now and then.

one of taerae’s hands finds your waist, fingers digging into your soft skin as he chases his release, slamming his hips into yours.

“please, please, please.” you beg, pussy spasming around him when your orgasm hits, tight cunt milking him for all he’s worth, warm cum coating your walls as he empties his balls deep inside your little cunt.

“you’re sick for cumming on my cock after all that cryin’” he sneers, pulling out and using his hands to spread your hole, watching his cum drip out of you. he’s obsessed with how you shamelessy present for him, back arching as he toys with your hole, drawing a sigh of relief from you when he uses two digits to fuck his cum back inside of you.

“aw sweetheart.” coos taerae, “you didn’t think we were done, did you?” his voice is laced with faux sympathy as you try to collect yourself. your brows furrow in confusion at his words, “huh?”

he curls his fingers inside your cunt, cum leaking down his wrist. “finally get the chance t’fuck you ‘n you think ‘m stoppin’ after one round?” his laugh makes you feel dumb, as if you were supposed to know he was going to continue violating your holes.

taerae fists his length with his cum covered hand, the tip prodding at the tight rim of your ass making you jolt. “please don’t!” you shudder, “anything but that, please.” he pushes the head in, groaning deeply because you’re so tight and spits on your hole, watching the saliva trickle between your asscheeks.

“shut the fuck up and take it.” his teeth are clenched, trying not to cum instantly when he pushes in to the hilt. “such a good cumdump f’r me, can’t believe you’ve never been fucked before.” the stretch burns and all you can do is take what he gives you, nearly screaming as you cum just from having your virgin ass fucked by his fat cock.

#♡.signed. sealed. delivered. #♡.the honeypot #♡.sweetheart: 🎀 #zb1 #zerobaseone #kim taerae #zb1 x reader #zb1 smut #zerobaseone x reader #zerobaseone smut #kim taerae x reader #kim taerae smut #💌.noncon #💌.anal #💌.creampies #💌.spit #💌.gaping #💌.blood

[beesmygod]

yesterday was webcomics day. i am bea and i make "A Ghost Story" - part 4: the art

this part i feel like gets done semi-easy once the rest of the shit is dealt with. yesterday, my knuckles continued to swell and feel like rotten wood so i had to cut it short. this shit happens more frequently than i would prefer. today i need to run to the store and also pick myself up a lil treat (an eighth). for right now tho i have some cbd rich stuff that should help. maybe. while the index finger still hurts, only the middle knuckle is swollen anymore. let's see.

i started with panels 2 and 3 bc they seemed the least immediately labor intensive. ill be copy/pasting the line/flats for panel 3 to edit from there. t...there's going to be a lot of copy/paste this page. its not usually like that. but i usually only copy/paste the lines and flats. i will re-shade things so that they look different

unlike the sketch, the lineart has more "weight" to it. wait thats not how the pillow would deform. hold on.

ok that's better. did people even notice that before i changed it. probably not. but it matters to me!!!!! these little things add up and add weight to your world!!!! ive been trying new things with line as as of [looks at watch] last week. so it looks bad right now. like someones vague idea of what good lineart is supposed to look like. practice makes perfect tho....or breeds familiarity or something.

some parts of this look weird. dont worry. we will cover up that shit with speech bubbles. thank you comics for your ways of obfuscating bad art.

flats are easy. select everything that isnt your line art, invert the selection, and dump a base layer. then color that base layer with a mask

this page will, blessedly, not have any complex backgrounds. i already established the scene previously and can skate on doing my textured backgrounds. the background gradients in the direction the light in the room is being cast, usually.

first, a multiply layer at 50%. since she's facing away from the light source, she'll be mostly in shadow. then a white overlay layer at 50%; this is to make the first shadow layer pop and keep from getting too muddy. then a second multiply layer at 50% for the next layer of shadows.

added some sweat beads to make her look more haggard and some shine to her hair, since she's so close to the light. i've started bothering doing this bc it unfortunately looks good. finally i add one more multiply layer at 40% over her eyes to make her look more over this entire thing. and then added the red glow in another overlay layer (100%) where it would land if being cast from above.

completely servicable and theres room for like. a speech bubble later. usually i do text first, but in this case its so secondary to the actions being performed, i want to prioritize one over the other.

looking at it, im not going to be able to copy/paste this after all. she's going to settle in more and her body will rotate too much in the process. i can use this as a base to trace over, though, which will get me started.

but pain is occurring so im going to eat breakfast. what a bitch!

#a ghost story #webcomics #web comics #webcomic #webcomic day

[eddieshellfxre]

Change your ways

Part 2

Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Word Count: 3.8k

Summary: You and Eddie have been best friends for a long time, so long you eventually caught feelings for him after having a one night stand with him. Everything changes when Eddie gets a girlfriend but you still try your luck

Content: 18+ minor dni, oral sex f and m, swearing, smoking, slut calling, cheating

a/n: this has a lot of dialogue because i have time to think a lot at work and i just create dialogues in my head all day to write later. also just because i wrote this it doesnt mean i agree with cheating, just thought it was a fun idea to write about

reblog and like if you enjoy it ♡

masterlist

gif is not mine, credits to owner

•••

“no because it truly was the worst sex of my life” pretty pissed off about how your date went, you stormed off to Eddie’s trailer to tell him all about it

“was it really that bad?” he jokes placing the blunt between his lips and inhaling the substance

“guy came in like 2 seconds” you roll your eyes and take the blunt in yours

“did he make you come after?” he asks in all seriousness

“yeah sure he did! after rubbing my left side for 10 minutes… what do you think? god he has big hands like you, i thought he be good at fingering at least”

Eddie looks at you with a smile on his face, letting out a laugh hearing you talk like this before quickly looking down “i do have great fingers” he says admiring his hands…. you look at Eddie’s hands and smile

“yeahhhh…. about that…” you say crawiling your way to him on the bed

“no”

“but you didnt even let me finish”

“its a no” you sit back on your legs and stare at him with big puppy eyes

“oh cmon youre really gonna say we werent the best sex we ever had in our lives?” Eddie remains quiet and smiles inhaling the blunt laying down on his bed with his arm resting behind his head, making his shirt slightly rise, you look at the tiny bit of skin showing and bite your lip “ill take your silence as an answer…. but seriously dont you wanna—“ you continue before he cuts you off

“listen, what we did was a one time thing and besides i have a girlfriend ”

“so?” you ask, you didnt wanna show how jealous it made you feel so you showed some kind of coldness when he touched the subject

“so? i have a girlfriend, im not supposed to cheat”

“SUPPOSED!! oh cmon munson, dont play hard to get” you rest your hand on his chest but he quickly moves it away

“im dating Chrissy now. i wont cheat on her” he looks at you with a serious tone on his voice. it kills you you’re not the one with him, he’s been your best friend for years, your safe space but you couldnt help but think of him in that way, and he knew about it, you’ve never hidden that part of your relation but for some reason he seemed scared of crossing that more serious line even though you did have a one time off, which he keeps on blaming the booze and drugs for.

“you forget i know you like the back of my hand! ive fucked you once ill fuck you again Edward” you scold before standing up grabbing your things. he lays still on his bed eyeing you as you walk closer to the door “c’mon, lets go help your uncle with dinner”

****

Under the bleachers at the championship game

“fuck y/n youre killing me” he groans as you take all of him in your mouth

“shhhh you gotta be quiet” you lick a stripe along the side of his dick, brushing your thumb over the slit, knowing it will drive him insane “look at dear ol’chrissy over there, head chearleader while her boyfriend is getting head from his best friend” you laugh taking the tip in your mouth, sucking on it slighty as you continue to pump his cock with your hand

“stop talking for fuck sake! shit— im gonna come”

“c’mon Eddie, dont tell me you dont think about my mouth around your cock everyday” you take him in your mouth and suddenly feel a warm fluid coat the inside of your mouth “hmmmm” you moan agaisnt him “so good baby”

“shit” he breaths out as he lets go of the grip he has on your hair, you smile up at him winking as you have one final lick at his tip making him buck at the sensitivity “just—just shut up” he says when he sees you standing up laughing

The game ends and you take the opportunity to leave underneath the bleachers when everyone is getting up. You spot Chrissy in the distance with her cheer friends jumping around with their stupid little pom poms. You dont get it, you dont get what does she have that you dont. Maybe it was the fact that she was a goody two shoes, miss perfect grades or maybe it was the fact that she wasnt as crazy as him…. As you were, maybe that what he wants, normal… You wake up from your trance as you hear a soft pitched voice talking

“babyyyyy did you see me? was i good?” she greets throwing her arms around Eddie’s neck leaning in to kiss him. You cant help but roll your eyes at them and stare at Eddie with a smirk slapped across your face

“you were so good” he says looking at her and at you over Chrissy’s shoulder right after, never breaking your eye contact you clean of the corners of your mouth with your finger and send him a wink

“i couldnt figure out where you were in the crowd” she says with big dull puppy eyes

“i was somewhere around the middle, dont worry i saw you” You cant help but find all of this amusing and decide to wage in the conversation

“he saw you just fine chrissy dear, you should have seen how happy he was, i could swear is bursted out into joy” you throw your arms around in the air in a extremly dramatic way. Chrissy didnt trust you, at all but you didnt seem to really care because deep down you knew you couldnt be trusted anyway

“ohh good” she says with a fake tone towards you, quickly turning back to Eddie’s hugging him tight “im really happy you came”

“of course i would come its important to you” he says cupping her face with his hands

“and for you too Eddie, right?” you pop in again “so important for you to come?” you smile wide remembering what happened just moments ago. Eddie regains his posture and grabs Chrissy’s arm

“lets go chrissy” he says pulling her by the arm. He knew exactly what you were talking about, and he knew if you stayed there any longer you would open up your big ass mouth and let out everything one way or another.

“Munson” you call after him “ill see you later at dinner yeah?”

“dinner?” chrissy asked confused as to why are you having dinner with him later

“yeah, y/n eats dinner everynight at mines. Her parents arent in the country and shes been having dinner there” he explains showing a soft smile as he looks at you, you smile back sort of thanking him for taking such good care of you, “you can come too if you want” he continues, your smile breaks and turns into a total resting bitch face, you can see a little sparkle appear on her eyes as she hears him

“oh my god yes, id love to”

Arriving at Eddie’s trailer later you park your car next to Eddie’s van, walking up the trailer stairs you open the door greeting Wayne

“honey im home” you say cheerful walking inside and seeing him

“hello dear how are you?” he takes you in a tight hug “where’s eddie?”

“he should be just— there he is” you sounded quite annoyed but try not to show much of it

“sup, hey wayne this is chrissy…. my girlfriend” Eddie says wrapping his arm around her “shes gonna have dinner with us alright?”

Wayne looks at you with a confused look before turning his attention back to his nephew “girlfriend you say? Im Wayne, ermmm well welcome, make your self comfortable” he gestures to the couch. As Chrissy sits down you sit down next to her before you could even get a word in Eddie sits between of both of you.

You stand up annoyed and walk over to the kitchen to find Wayne over the stove

“need any help with anything?”

“no no you sit down dear”

“no way, let me put the table at least. Eddie boy come help me” you say grabbing the plates from the sink and placing them on the counter, you try to reach out for the cups in the cupboard but cant reach it, Eddie hovers over you to grab them, you feel his crotch against your ass, your head drops as you feel him and let out a small moan

“if you gonna tease me might as well do something about it baby” you whisper as you ever so slighty push your ass back onto his front

“shut up, i didnt do it on purpose” he pushes himself away from you as makes his way to the table setting the cups down.

You all sit at the table in dead silence, so you decide to heat things up a little, Eddie is in front of you and your foot makes its way over to him, going up his leg until it reaches his cock. He shifts in his seat and starts coughing, you smile down at your plate as his cheeks turn red

“you alright son?” wayne asks placing his hand of his shoulder

“yeah yeah just, just got choked up on some spaghetti” he stares at you while you laugh quietly.

Everyone finishes up what their eating and you notice the time, notice its almost time for wayne to leave for work

“right” you stand up “ill do the dishes too, last night it was eddie and you the night before so ill take care of them, and no buts! you need to go to work soon”

Wayne winks at you with a soft smile, laying down for a while on the couch. You grab the plates and start to do the dishes, you open the tap and water hits the plates making it go everywhere, you almost fall back from getting startled

“shit that scared the crap of me” you look down at your now soaking wet white top. Eddie cant help but stare at you, clearly fixating on how tight that top is now to your tits untilchrissy wakes him up from his trance

“eddie will you drive me home?”

“sure babe. y/n do you need a ride too?” he asks trying to look away

“no i got my own car eddie…. ohhhh shit shit shit” you panic “i forgot my house keys at school and now its closed”

“oh thats a shame. you can stay over if you want” wayne says with a croaky voice

“thanks wayne, youre more than a dad to me”

Eddie grabs his keys calling at you “hey, you can take my bed, ill sleep on the floor, prepare everthing while i take her home”

“thanks eddie” you smile, continuing to wash the dishes

“shes sleeping here with you?” chrissy whispers in hopes you wouldnt hear her but you did

Eddie leans in on her whispering back “shes done it multiple times dont worry about ok?”

Once Eddie came back and Wayne left for work you both walk up to his room getting ready for bed

“Eddie im taking a shirt” you say selecting from his collection of band tees

“borrowing” he talks back pointing a finger at you

“ugh fine!” you say as you take your shirt off without warning

“oh my god y/n please” eddie covers eyes

“what the f-? its nothing you havent seen before already jeez” you roll your eyes and pass the shirt over your head throwing your previous worn top at him. Eddie stares at you for a while before walking out of the room. You hear the bathroom door close and immediately understand whats going on

“babe if its a boner you got by looking at me i can take care of it” you tease him a little more

“no its fine, ill do it” you hear him say back,

you laugh and sit on the bed waiting for bim to come back to the room. Once he comes back to smirk up at him “please shut up”

You talk for a while and smoke a nightly blunt for a better night sleep, during that you try to convice him not to sleep on the floor because its uncomfortable

“i promise i wont do anything alright? just dont sleep on the fucking floor”

“fine” he says getting up from the floor “but no funny business, i know you”

“i promise i wont do anything to you! on our friendship” you hold up three fingers and crossing your heart. He lays down on the bed and scooches his way to the wall, you remove your jeans and lay down next to eddie

“what the fuck are you doing?” he asks surprised turning his body your way

“going to sleep? what the fuck Munson?”

“like that? no pants no nothing?” he motions to your legs

“its hot out!!” you whine “why? cant you handle being next to me without jeans on?” you tease. He remains quiet shuffling in his spot turning your back to you

“goodnight eddie” you sing at him in a playfull tone.

minutes go by and eddie cant keep still

“hmmm stay still Eddie, i wanna sleep” you whine as you try to sleep

“fuck this” he says turning you over and is suddenly on top of you “you drive me absolutely insane” he tries to kiss you but you stop him

“dude what is going on right now? i didnt do shit! i promised” you throw your hand up, genuinely suprised

“you promised but i didnt” he leans in and kisses you passionately, even though his action caught you by surprise it didnt take long for you go give in to him and kiss him back. He slowly moves down to your neck covering it with kisses, being careful enough not to leave any marks

“Eddieeee” you moan. You feel his breathing break up when he hears you say his name, he shakes his head and makes a trail of kisses going down your body to where you want him the most, its ridiculous how wet he can get you in seconds

“just thanking you for earlier” he says against your skin as he keeps going down your body. His hands meet the waistband of your underwear and pulls them off, throwing it to the other side of the room, he gently sucks on the inner part of your thigh, knowing well he could leave as many marks there because it wouldnt be visible “youre so fucking wet” Eddie whines as his fingers slip up and down your wet slit, drawing your juices over your clit and rubbing circles on it. “youre such a slut for me arent you” you moan in pleasure as he gently rubs your bud “words” he says with a much more serious tone, eyes darkened with desire and a primal need to feel hear you under his touch.

“fu—yes Eddie! im—im such a slut for you baby” you mewl seductively,

making him growl in response. You can feel the warmth of his mouth close to you as you feel him licking you from your entrance to your clit, playing with it in circles once he meets it

“god i love it here” he says against your cunt, the vibrations of him talking making you moan, you feel his fingers tease you for a moment before he lines one up and pushes it into your tight heat, making you arch your back in pleasure.

“fuuuu— Eddie fuckfuck fuck” you whine as he pumps his fingers in and out of you keeping his tongue focused on your clit “youre gonna make me cum so hard” he picks up his pace with his fingers, curling them inside you, just hitting that right spot in you, your hand grabs onto his curls pulling at them while at the same time fixing him in place

“c’mon baby, i wanna feel your pretty pussy cum all over my fingers” he says against your cunt

“Eddie i—“ you’re unable to finish your sentence as you clench around his fingers and feel your orgasm slowly leak out of you, he takes his tongue to your entrance cleaning you up, making you jump everytime he hits your thobbing bud

“you taste so fucking good” he says still between your thighs leaving a trail wet kisses as he makes his way back to your face, kissing your lips. You brush the hair sticking to his forehead cupping his face in your hands, he smiles down at you, stupid smile that makes you melt like butter “we can go to sleep now” he says kissing your forehead. You laugh, covering your face with your hands

“you’re unbelievable Munson” you say shaking your head.

~~~~

Arriving at achool with eddie was something else, the morning after was…. quiet. Eddie didnt want to admit he couldnt resist you and felt terribly guilty for cheating on Chrissy…. again.

“Eddieeee” chrissy runs into arms and kisses him, watching how Eddie is kissing her back you cant help but let out a laugh

“whats wrong?” he asks breaking up for the kiss

“oh nothing i just thought of something i saw last night….on tv” you reply looking over at Eddie. She smiles at you and walks in front of you and him

“you kiss her with my taste in your mouth?” you whisper

“please shut up! im not proud of myself” he whispers back

“oh but you should be” you say coming close to him “it was amazing” you continue.

Eddie shakes his head and walks past you walking in front with Chrissy

~~~

At the end of the day, arriving at eddie’s trailer each in your own car, you park yours next to his van your, when you step out and eddie turns off his van the van does a weird sound and you look at each other confused. Eddie tries to turn the van back on but it wont start

“you have got to be kidding me” he says hitting the steering wheel “c’mon baby dont do this to me!” eddie keeps turning the key but the van is completely dead “im gonna need to take her to the mechanic, but i can only do it Friday”

“thats alright Eds, drive me back to my house later and bring my car back to yours. pick me up tomorrow morning for school” Eddie stares at you in shock, trying hard not to freak out

“you serious? i can keep your car?” hes practically jumping

“sure, it no big deal, its just a car”

“just a ca—?! ITS A DODGE CHALLENGER hOLY shit!!!!” he screams. hes truly adorable when hes fanboying “sweet, thanks ba-“ he stops himself “y/n, thanks youre the best” he continues slowly walking away in direction of his trailer

“if you were gonna call me some type of petname, go for it dont go shy” you say playfully

“im not shy, i just dont think its correct” he says turning on his heel, his tone shifted and its not so happy

“what?! calling me baby or babe?”

“no… yes… everything. this isnt cool on Chrissy and i hate myself for it.” hes cheeks look flushed and he looks more stressed than ever but you’re really starting to get tired of some of his atitudes

“then break up with her” you say loud throwing your hands up letting them hit your thighs on the way down

“i cant i really like her”

“sweetie if you really liked her we wouldnt do all the things we’ve been doing” you walk up to him “just remember you were always the one who didnt want to make anything official” he shakes his head in denial, he feels like its impossible to even start an argument with you, you always have to have the last word

“you gotta change your crazy ways, you hear me?” he says trying to break the tension by mentioning your favorite Aerosmith song, he tried to say it with a straight face but he knew its was a hard line to cross

“dont you dareeeeee quote Aerosmith to me Munson!” you point a finger at him, poking his chest “lets just go alright? before wayne comes out here and asks what the hell is going on” you follow him inside and greet wayne like you do everyday

“everything alright with you kids?” he asks looking at both of you

“fine” you both say at the same time

~~~

Next day eddie picks you up, its hot and youre wearing fishnets and black skirt, layerd with one of his band tees that you’ve cropped, you open the door and sit down

“morning Munson” you greet

“thats mine, whats the fuck did you do to it?” he asks grabbing onto the hem of the shirt. You smack his hand away from you furrowing your brows at him

“was!! and i made it fit me better. Even tho i do like using your baggy tees i think this fits my body better dont you?” you say looking over the door mirror to apply your lipstick while Eddie just stares at you in dead silence. You throw your feet on the dashboard and put your sunglasses on as you look back in the mirror and blow yourself a kiss

“youre so self centered” he lets out

“no, i just know i look hot today, dont you”

eddie looks at your legs and back at the road smiling

“fuck—- yeah you look ermmm yeah” he mumbles as he tightens his grip on the steering wheel

“what was that? you think i look hot?” you touch his thigh

“please dont do that! “

“got you nervous there munson?”

“why do you tease me like this? im gonna go mental one of these days” he looks at you. you look over your sunglasses licking your lower lip

“you really wanna do this before we pick your girlfriend up?!” you ask, you love to see what you do to him

Eddie continues to drive to chrissy’s house, moments later pulling up to her drive way. As she comes out she walks over to your side and stands at the door waiting for you to open it.

“dont tell me your girl wants me to go in the back” you say ironically rolling down the window “yes?” you ask sarcastically

“im going in the back?” he asks pointing at the back of the car

“babe its my car, you dont really think i would be riding in the back did you?”

she rolls her eyes at you walks in the back and leaning forward to give eddie a kiss. You side eye everything and cant help but feel jealous at these little exchanges.

“how did you sleep sweetheart?” you cringe at the word, you have never heard eddie say it before, exept when hes talking to his guitar.

“i slept just fine…. how come we’re taking y/n car?” she asks

“eddie’s van broke down. so i offered he could use my car until needed which he was very very happy to take me up on that offer” you joke lightly tapping his shoulder

“bet your sweet ass i was! this car is a fucking monster are you kidding me? hottest ride in hawkins”

“sometimes i think he likes my car more than he likes me” you smile

“that could never happen” he eyes you, taking his bottom lip between his teeth. catching what he was doing he quickly continues “youre a pain but youre my besy friend”

“nice save” you whisper as you pull up to school.

Eddie gets out of the car and admires it breathing in a whistle “damn baby, youre hot” you knew he was talking to your car bur you just had to say something

“thanks babe, but you should really leave that kind of conversation for when we’re alone” you laugh walking away leaving him quiet.

During your break, you stood alone at your locker when suddenly you feel someone approaching you, thinking it would be Eddie ditching the company of his new love affair you slam your locker door only to find Billt Hargrove standing next to you leaning over the lockers with his arm

“Hey y/n” he says eyeing you, you knew this kind of look and you didnt really have anything to lose so you just went with it

“Hey Billy” you reply. He leans in closer to your ear, his warm breath on near your neck teasing the shit out of you “what do you want” you notice Eddie at the end of the corridor watching you and Billy talk

“i was wondering if maybe you’d be up dinner sometime or a movie or anything else that you have in mind” he smiles gently caressing your cheek, you clearly know how its gonna go but you’re both single, and god knows you need a Eddie and Chrissy getaway

“sure, anytime” you reply with a smile. Soon enough Eddie approaches both of you and stands behind Billy, he notices him and scoofs

“ill see you around darlin’”

“yeah, see you around Billy” you wink smiling while bitting your lip, Billy replies with a grin before looking over at Eddie and clearly seeing his bothered

“Munson” he greets

“Hargrove” Eddie greets back, the tension could be cut with a knife. As Billy walks away Eddie turns his attention to you “Hargrove? really y/n” Eddie whispers in disgust. you furrow your brow at him

“Cunnigham? really Eddie?” you ask in the same tone

“What did he want? Why were you all giggly and smiley for?”

“excuse me, but since when do i owe you any explanation?” you say in a hush tone ”but if you must know, he asked me out…. and i said yes! youre not the only one who can date around” you feel a not tying up in your throat, he remains silent as he sees tears forming in your eyes

“y/n im—

“im gonna go alright? just—“

“y/n…. Y/N” Eddie calls but you dont look back.

You make your way to the woods behind Hawkinds High, a place where you and Eddie normally hangout to smoke or chill because no one ever goes there. You find a table at sit on top of it, feet resting on the bench. You cover your face with your hands, trying your best not to cry.

“y/n?” you get stardled as you hear a familiar voice coming from the trees “hey its just me… Robin” you sigh of relief knowing it wasnt Eddie who followed you

“hey Robin” a faint smile on your lips that quickly disappears “what are you doing here?”

“i dont really know” she jokes shrugging her shoulders “what about you? you dont look so good” she takes a seat next to you wrapping her arm around you “you can talk to me if you want” you look at her and see some type of comfort, and you take it, because sooner or later you feel like you were gonna burst.

Moments go by and you tell Robin all thats been going on, and what happened between you and Eddie before Chrissy

“y/n you need to stop before you, Eddie and Chrissy get hurt”

“Robin please i—”

“dont please me, what you guys are doing is wrong! He has a girlfriend”

“He doesnt love her”

“He doesnt love you either” her words feel like knifes stabbing you everywhere possible

“how do you know? youre not there when we’re alone” you try to fool yourself into thinking that youre right and shes wrong

“y/n listen to me, he has to choose one of you and it really doesnt look like youre gonna be the choice” she comforts you with a hug before standing up “i gotta go, Steve is waiting for me already but… think about what youre doing! youre only gonna get hurt. Call me if you need anything” she gives you a reasuring hug that you return with a smile.

You decide that you need some time alone, maybe watch a movie but first you need to find Eddie to tell him you need your car for the night.

You make your way into school again, searching the halls for him but no luck.

“Dustin” you call out to the curly headed kid “have you seen Eddie?” you ask before he could ever say hi

“erm…. i think hes in the parking lot not su—byee” poor kid didnt even get to finish and you were already messing his hair up thanking him. You walk over to the parking lot and Eddie is standing next to your car.

Youre nervous, you havent talked about anything yet since that fiasco in the hall, but you gain the courage to walk up to him and treat him like nothing has happened

“Hey Eds, erm… you got hellfire tonight right?” you ask looking at his hellfire shirt, it should be incriminating how good a baseball tee looks on him

“yeah i do why? are you gonna come?” the tiniest bit of excitement in his voice makes an appearance, you smile and shake your head

“im gonna need my car for tonight, need some alone time, so ill drop you off at hellfire and then ill come pick you up” you explain grabbing the car keys from his hand. he looks down at you laughing “whats so funny?”

“normally i pick up the babes not the other way around” he steps closer and you feel like your heart skipped a thousand beats, you remain calm on the outside and try to stay your normal self

“oh why thank you eds” you smile

“for?”

“thinking im a babe” Eddie comes closer to you still holding onto your car keys and your hand still grabbing onto them

“shut up, you know what i mean” he says in a low tone

“baby i always know what you mean” and right there and then you forget everything Robin has told you. They way he grabs onto your waist with his free hand pulling you closer to him, his eyes moving from yours to your lips

“why do you drive me crazy?” he laughs trying to break the tension but there too much of it, there was no way he didnt feel what you felt too. His hold onto your waist keeps getting tighter, his rings biting onto your skin

“i—i dont know Eds, just dont get me all hot and bothered and then dont do anything about it” you laugh.

You could practically feel each other’s breaths as he pulled you closer and closer until you break away when you ear noise from the background. You both look at each other, You've never seen this look in Eddies eyes before, pure hunger and lust, it was fucking hot! You grab your keys from him and open the door to sit down on the driver’s seat, you roll down the window so you could speak to him “ill pick you up later ok?” you say smiling

Eddie leans in, holding your chin with his index and thumb, pulling your face into a soft kiss, something so soft yet so hot. Eddie smiles against your lips when he feels how your breathing shifted

“ill be waiting” he says leaving you absolutely speechless

~~~

Back at home, you decided it was best just to stay in until it was time to pick Eddie up. You made yourself some popcorn and got cozy in bed with a oversized tee that Eddie gave you and your underwear, watching a horror movie that was playing on tv. You werent paying much attention because all you could think about is Eddie’s kiss, it felt different, so genuine. You shake your head at the thought of it everytime

“this is supposed to be a Eddie free night y/n! get a grip!!” you turn your attention to the tv again and suddently the phone rings, startling you “jesus fucking chr— yes?”

“hey its Eddie, look dont come pick me up alright?”

“why is everything ok?” you start to get worried, he never calls you from the school phone

“yeah yeah its all good, i-i just need to walk Chrissy home from cheer practice”

you remove the headseat away from your face and start flipping it off “y/n? you there?”

“yes i am here!!! cant she walk herself?” he notices the tone in your voice changing and laughs

“no she cant but ill see you late ok baby? bye”

“Eddie? Eddie? motherfuck— baby?” you reply now at the sound of end of the call. “i didnt—im hearing things” you place the phone back and get back to watching your movie.

Hours go by and youre getting sleepy, its time for bed, youre tired and you kinda want this day to be over. Just as soon as youre falling asleep you hear noise outside, you dont know if its the horror movie getting in your head or not but you quietly grab onto the baseball bat that you have under your bed, a knock at your window makes you jump off the bed, ready to swing your bat you turn around to see a tall figure waving at you from the outside

“Munson?” you ask squinting “what the fuck are you doing here?” you ask dropping the bat on the floor, you open the window and Eddie climbs in your room “you do realise im home alone. you could have just rang the door bell”

Eddie smiles looking at you in your sleep wear

“yeah but if i did i probably wouldnt find you like this” winking he grabs onto your waist pulling you close to him. You push your arm away from you placing it on his chest

“woahhhh what we doing? youre kinda giving me mixed signals here Eddie” you try to get away from him but he keeps holding onto you tight “didnt you just drop your girlfriend home? didnt you just have a nice walk with her?” you mock. He finds it absolutely adorable how jealous you can get and also very attractive, bitting his lip in a half smile he moves your arm from his chest so its holding onto his neck

“no, i walked chrissy home its different”

you side eye him confused out of your mind, he must have been smoking something really strong this time “and before you ask, no its not the same thing. shes not my girlfriend anymore, i broke up with her” the confused look on your face turns into shock, with a little bit of happiness that you try to hide but he catches onto you “you can smile i know you want to”

You give in and smile up at swing your free arm around his neck too, holding him closer you stretch a bit to meet your lips with his, this kiss felt like the one before “I couldnt stand the thought of you going out with that dickhead Hargrove, made me crazy! It was like something clicked in me telling me it was you all along” he says against your lips “youre a crazy bitch but you’re only mine”

#eddie munson #joseph quinn #eddie munson fanfic #eddiemunson #eddiestrangerthings #stranger things #stranger things eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #st4 #reader x eddie munson #eddie munson smut #eddie munson best friend #eddie munson best friend fanfic #eddie stranger things #eddie munson x y/n

[ruifictiveapproved]

vent. please look away 👍

i know ive said this and i keep saying it but i do think people are getting tired of me ans theyre starting to hate me and realize that being friends with me is wrong and it is it one hundred percent is but i just let myself get attached because i have greed and im so very selfish wsnting peoplr to stay but i know that wont happen and people are already leaving me and ive been alone most of the day rotting away in bed snd i dont know if its more upset than it is comforting because ifeel fucking nothing right now other than pain but when asked to describe i cannot give a clear answer. i need to run away and just leave everyone now before they do it to me, so that way im.not hurt and theyll realize im right then i change my name make new accs and start the process over witj new friends rinse wash and repeat continue doing this until i actually do suceed in killing myself since last night wasnt successful and when i do ill be a distant memory in everyones heads only something they think about on occasion and they look me up find my obituary and say "oh my, rest in peace" and move on with their day. i want that so bad. there is nothint to continue looking forward to. all my dreams will never come true, all my friends will leave, and dying is just simply apart of life. maybe its fate that im supposed to die right now but i think fate is a stupid and silly thing. whatever it is i know im supposed to be dead though because im a bad person and an abuser andni neglect people all the time and i just ruin peoples lives in the end yrt NO ONE LISTENS WHEN I SAY I DO thrn they get upset not even five fucking minutes later crying because of me and its my fault and everyones like "no no its not" but it IS if i talk about my feelings then someone starts crying thst literally makes it my fucking fault sont try to gaslight me into thinking its not my fault. all i do is hurt and all im capable of feeling is hurt andni really shpuld judt kill myself already

#ruifictiveapproved

[lemonmaidenswamps]

Tags: death and angst

Where phil lost 4 year old tommy in the woods and like

He comes back every anniversary after not finding him. Now he's hitting his thousands. Its been decades upon decades not seeing his very MORTAL son

Once a town settles hes alerted

That they found a missing boy. He has no hope. They havent found tommy let alone a body. But once he goes and checks there he is

The small 4 year old scrapes on his knees. Skinny and dirty but just the same as he had lost him eons ago.

There was his missing son. By some miracle kept young and ALIVE.

He goes and talks to Tommy, but Tommy cant see him. He can touch him feel him hug him but Tommy's eyes are far and distant. Faded and Phil cant see himself in those eyes.

And then everything goes cold. The town goes quiet and wildlife stops.

The Spirit of the Forest and the Wilderness appear before him. Two twin teens. Thats when Tommy begins to move again "Wilbur! Techno!"

And then he turns to phil. "Dad?"

Phil cries, hes never wept so hard before as he hugs Tommy so hard.

"Oh Toms. Im so so sorry, i left you behind"

Tommy only hugs him. But looks past him to the twins and cries.

"Dad. I have to go"

"Go? No no no you cant go. Where are you going?"

"Away. I dont want to go. But i have to dad"

Phil turns to look at the twins. They havent said anything but extended their hands to Tommy. Completely ignoring Phil.

One covered in animal hide. Blood painted over his chest in some symbols he doesn't know the meaning of, a boar skull over his head.

The other same build same hair however in green robes. A orange veil the same color of Autumn. His feet covered in mud. Both with striking white eyes. Both ignoring Phil.

Phil doesnt understand. In his core he understands that they have taken care of Tommy. That they kept him alive. But he begs "please don't take tommy from me, please"

But they say nothing. They continue to look past him arms stretch for tommy

"Dad i must go. Our forest can't last without us"

"But tommy your my son" Phil begs "im suppose to watch you grow. To go to school to cry, to move out to get married. You dont belong to the forest your Tommy and im your father"

Tommy cries he doesnt want to leave. He doesnt remember much at all about before. But he remembers Phil

The warms hugs he would get. The reassurance that nothing would hurt him. Pancakes in the morning and a kiss goodnight. The warmth of a father.

But he knew now that as much as he wanted to. He couldnt have that. He was happy still. Sad maybe somber. But this was no longer his home. "Im sorry"

Phil doesn't understand he wants to be furious. He doesnt know to what. Turning to the twins he walks over.

Making contact as he sees a vision.

A woman young but frightened her hair dark, she looks like night itself as shes crying and calling out to the forest.

And as she fades he sees them. Holding hands as they rest on a stump. The earth recalling them to the soil.

They are gone

And it all makes sense. As he crumbles onto the floor sobbing as that woman did too. THEY cant come back. They are dead. Tommy CAN'T come back.

For Tommy's been gone for a long time.

What ever happened what ever they did they been taking care of him. Keeping him alive by some force that he cannot explain. And he hugs them thanks them because he understands.

"Dad?"

"See my face wet with tears" Phil holds Tommy's small hands as he looks at the shaken boy"

"They're running down my cheeks" Phil feels his son wipe them away. He's so real. He can feel him but hes cold. Frozen in time.

"Dont cry!"

"Promise me that you'll be safe. I am immortal and ill be here for when ever i can find you again, dearest son"

Tommy sobs. Taking in handfuls of Phil's coat into his tiny hands, sobbing into his chest.

"Promise me a sign your okay and that your alive "

Tommy nods. Still crying as he looks at his father

"When the first fawn of spring comes to you i will be saying hi. When the forest speaks it is i who is the happiest, And i will sing like april showers, till my final hour"

Phil smiles kissing his face as this will probably be the last time he sees Tommy.

Watches him go as he holds the twins hands. Finally bringing back the life of the earth.

Youth and rebirth are parts of the wilderness and now they cannot live without the other.

Tommy looks one last time. A small flash of where tommy lays is seen by phil as he watches.

Tommy is happy. Tommy is safe.

The upcoming anniversary phil finally finds the remains. A boar skull. A mushroom are surrounded by tiny little golden flowers as in the middle there lays a spring flower in the dead of winter.

He lays flowers on them all the time.

This time however accompanied by lady of the night. Death itself. As both parents grieve. For they can no longer hold their children. But smile as they hear the distant laughter and giggles of kids. Of the forest spirits. Phil tips his hat a bit to cover his tears

"Little shit"

#sbi au #technoblade #bedrock bros #twins duo #crimeboys #neapolitan trio #wilbur soot #tommyinnit #philza #kristen mumza #sbi angst #death #mcd #?

[maplelapine]

Two teasing beauties

Ill be adding more as I add to it. First few chapters will be here and on my FF.

Ch.1

Its getting close to noon. The girl you met on Feabie should be here any second.

   You shift on your seat, attempting ro get comfortable. She asked you to wear a size 2xl red shirt so she would recognize you. Seeing as the shirt was about three sizes too small, it was causing your belly to stick out quite bit. The bottom of your shirt barely covered the top and middle of your flabby apron belly, which hung down to your knees. The shirt would pull up everytime you shifted your weight around, and became little more than a crop top when you waddled from place to place.

It was hard to be any sort of comfortable when youre getting stares and hearing people whisper about you behind your back.

   Especially the women sitting behind you. Youd noticed them when you first came in. A skinny redhead with huge breasts, and a thick, curvy blonde with juicy lips. Both looked like they were in their mid twenties. Youre able to make out a conversation between the two.

"Oh my God! Look at him!" A woman loudly whispered to her friend. You assume its the blonde. She seemed chatty when you walked by at first.

"You mean the lardass in front of us? I know! He looks like an overly stuffed sausage!" The redhead quietly giggled back.

You can feel your self starting to blush from their comments. But youre also feeling a bit...turned on by it. You continue to listen to them speak.

"What made him think he could go out looking like that!?" The blonde was giggling now too. "I mean, does fatass even own a mirror?"

"Shhhh! Not so loud!" The redhead hissed in a whisper. "If he hears you, he might try to eat us!"

Both women burst out laughing. You feel yourself wriggling in your seat even more and start pulling on your shirt in a sad attempt to cover your bulbus belly. But in the wnd you just ended up tearing it and causing the rest or your belly to swell forward a bit. The woman heard the tearing and didnt hesitate to stare and laugh as you try to salvage your dignity.

As youre about to get up and leave, the two women sit at you table, each taking on of your sides and grabbing your arms gently. Its almost as if theyre...caressing them.

Ch.2

   The two women start to gently massage your flabby arms and love handles as they speak.

"Aww, dont go cutie." The redhead said sweetly.

"Yeah, stay with us for a little. Lets have some fun!" The blonde chimed in.

   Before you could protest, the waiter comes over. He seems a but baffeled at first that too bombshells would be with a lardass like yourself, but after a moment he regains his composure. He pulls out a pad and paper and gets ready to take your order.

   You open your mouth to order, only for the blonde to stick a bread roll in your mouth to keep you quiet. She holds it there while the redhead orders for you.

"Yeah, he'll be having one of everything on the menue. And well get some coffee."

   The waiter is about to protest when the blonde shot him a look. He ended up shrinking away with the order, a look of fear and sympathy in his eyes for you.

   The girls giggle as they finally let you speak.

"Please, let me go, Im supposed to meet-" I didnt get to finish. If you had known that was the last time youd have the chance to say anything to save yourself, you might have fought harder.

"Us silly!" The blonde chirped. "We're the ones from Feabie!"

   Youre shocked by the revelation. Despite the look of fear and confusion on your face, you cant help but feel very turned on by this bait and switch. Instead of one girl you got two! And ones that seem to want to fatten you up at that!

   You spend the next few minutes being poked, proded, and occasionally kissed on just about every inch of your belly. You try to maintain some level of degnity but end up simply melting to their gentle strokes of your skin. Itd been so long since youve been touched like this. As you feel yourself starting to fully relax, you hear plates on table top, and clapping from the women.

"Yeah! Now its time for the best part!" The redhead almost squealed.

   You move to pick up your fork, only for your hand to be harshly slapped by the blonde.

"Bad hog! You eat when we feed you!" She hissed. She took a second and went back to her sacrine deminer. "A good, sexy piggy like you deserves to lay back and be fed."

#weight gain #wg fiction #feedee belly #fatty #fatfetish #fat belly

[obscenity]

⛧ ; hiihi

thank you for your response, again! do you have any favorite things about being schizoid or ones that you consider positive?

also, do have any views on szpd in the sense of it being a disorder and all that? i find it interesting because it's technically considered among the Serious Mental IllnessesTM and personality disorders (the latter of which makes sense but i wouldn't be surprised if people with other pds find it much harder to deal with theirs) but i don't really perceive my experiences as.... suffering? ill? or the like? perhaps it's because some other pds tend to come with intense emotions and i'm just. dissociated all the time pfff. the way i am feels normal to me, even if neurotypicals would consider schizoids very confusing or hard to understand or abnormal in general. though then again i have this sorta mindset that suffering and pain = negative emotions that are felt, like sadness or anger. not Nothing. emptiness isn't negative if you compare it to feeling upset. sure, there's supposed to be fullness, perhaps, but i don't view it that way aha. but regardless it's funny when you're neurodivergent with little awareness about others no matter what your neurodivergence is, because i can't comprehend neurotypicals are unlike me and that i'm supposed to be the weird one. i've always called them aliens instead aha. i'm perfectly normal To Me, so what're the weirdo neurotypicals on about? (/joke but also i do think that way.) i figure it's just interesting to think about.

hiiiiii again sorry it took me so long to answer this time ive been busy being insane (playing tower of fantasy)

anyways . for me it really depends on the day. sometimes i have a lot of fun just reveling in my space and existing with entirely 0 responsibilities and obligations from other people. its very nice. i like to imagine a future in which i continue to exist as i am now (doing absolutely nothing. at least for another 2 weeks before i have 2 start college) and i dont find myself upset by it. i dont find myself being sad or feeling lonely if i continue living in my own little world where no one is ever allowed in. im not overly upset at the possibility i might just be single for the rest of my life. im content to coast through life feeling very little. though like i said, it depends on the day. sometimes i get really mad at myself (im angry more often than sad) and wonder why i cant just be "normal". and why its so hard for me to just talk to people. its an uphill battle just to remain in peoples lives. its very difficult for me because i rarely, if ever, am the one to reach out first or message people first. i just dont, im often not thinking about other people for long enough to want to text first. which obviously means most other people take this as a sign of me not being interested. which isnt always the case with me. i just dont like being the person to do it. im terrible at putting effort into relationships because it just feels so ... hard. and not worth the fight to keep someone in my life. i often think things like "if they really wanted to stay, they would have" when i drift apart from people. of course i know relationships have to go both ways, realistically i know one person cant just always put in the effort. but the little schizoid devil that sits on my shoulder tells me otherwise. (if you were wondering the angel would also be the schizoid. ie the euphoria of cancelling plans and avoiding social situations)

i do consider it a disorder (because my nothing is in equal parts enjoyable as it is suffering) but youre right in that it just does feel very normal to me. ill probably never go to therapy for it, as its not something thats so debilitating to me that i need "fixed". theres nothing to really fix, i think this is just how i am. im not really interested in putting allthe effort in to make myself "normal" when i have no problem with myself in the first place. and i dont really consider myself abnormal, i dont really care honestly. i dont care if people think im a creep... or that im a weirdo.... or a freakazoid or whatever. im too busy having a superiority complex anyways

#i think i got a little off track on this one mybad . #asks #⛧ anon #long post

[fwb-anon]

rant

i forgot that i forgot to eat today

i mean i didnt forget but i didnt have a fork on me to buy a pasta box and the store didnt have rice salads anymore

so i didnt have lunch but i ate snacks, not a lot tho

and last time i actually ate smth i think was yesterday but it wasnt that good, overcooked steak but anyway

i think thats why im super tired rn bc it's not regular tired its like i kinda faint

but also i had a boring day then an annoying night bc of kpoppies on vinted

anyway

i was supposed to continue my drawing of fem yuuta but now im gonna sleep and feel dead for a few hours

and i wont be able to rest this weekend like every other weekend since two years

anyway

idk ill just daydream until it stops again

i dont wanna have another crisis :(

[sh4llow-heart]

Wakeful Sleep \\ updated

Its a never ending cycle

but its one ive grown to know

So darling when you left

made sure not do to it slow

like a bandaid, ripped me apart hastily

To ensure i felt the burn before the skin began to grow

And to reminisce ill pick at the healing scab, to remind myself of the glow my eyes once had.

The fire in me temporarily enflamed becoming nothing but ash and cinder

reality that the brightness in my eyes have just as hastily washed away.

All the good I've known has left me, always withering away

All the good I've known has left me

here i always am to stay

It has been all i've come to know, The sadness has acquainted itself with me well so darling dont look to worry when you go, Stress lines have never suited your face

All the good I've known has left me

Im still a terribly messed up case

Let the healing process begin as the scab begins to fade, and though its existence on my body has managed to disappear, the recurrence of you in my mind is one that reality shall never let stray

The scars that haunt closed eyelids as i stare behind them intently, are the ones that hurt the most

the intangible pain left in your wake

multiplying in the crevices of my mind, with all the other good things that whispered they'd stay.

And as the scar upon my body becomes faint with each passing day, The should be washed out embers of you will continue to emanate.

they haunt me

in the most lovely and aching of ways.

Though you truly believed you'd stay, for quite a while longer anyway.

I know you believed just as much as i did, that you'd be gone with what felt like a matter of days.

Our thoughts were always going in two entirely different ways

in your absence you were supposed to stay, to still remain

Now you’re cold

the warmth I offer serves no purpose

And I dare visit your remains?

Tear stained as if I hold no fault in where you now lay.

It'll be okay.

All the good ive known has left me and deep down i knew you'd do the same

i kept one eye on you, and one on the clicking stopwatch bearing your name

With hands tugging at the bandaid, wishing it was the good, the you, that would instead remain.

And at night my whole being begins to run with the consistency of fluid

painted images of you, with them my eyelids are full and overflowing

The thought of you

keeps me awake in the deepest of unconscious, the feeling so real of dreaming lucid

if i could turn back, regress and not progress

time would be a concept that I'd never again let go to rest

But anyway

i knew deep down you couldnt stay

Wishful thinking that you'd wait

for me to put myself together before you tore me apart again

I'll see you in my sleep

the only place we are both awake.

[eclipsesdiary]

wednesday, april 5, 2023

today was a good day. i might be a shitty person but it wasn't too bad.

i didnt fall asleep well last night. i stayed up til 2am and kept seeing people staring at me through the window, and i saw people standing in the doorway behind the curtain. i ignored them, curling up and sleeping on the couch with a red light on. that was nice

i woke up at 7:00ish as my dad started making his coffee and i woke up and went to my bed, continuing to rest. i was supposed to meet nik at 10am to play ace attorney but. i never made it. i woke up at noon.

i feel shitty for lying to him about my alarm not going off but i really needed some more sleep. i got close to 10 hours. i need more rest soon too, because nik and i rescheduled for tomorrow morning at 9am. we need to finish case 3 of game 2. its 10pm now. i should take my meds so im tired and go to bed early tonight.

i lied to her about my alarm not going off but thats okay. it's fine. we go tomorrow anyways.

after i lied, my sister had work at 2:45p so i couldnt take her car to meet nik later. but i had coral come over around 3:30pm and we went into the basement. we put on a ghibli movie, porco russo! i watched it the other day and she hasn't seen it yet. i didnt love it but coral is a massive history nerd so the planes and ww2 stuff made her happy and entertained. we did an insect puzzle while we watched it! below is it

once we finished that puzzle i made us a snack. i cut up 2 apples and put some cheezits into a compartment container, and we each got a rice krispie! she drank coke zero and i had cranberry grape juice. i keep getting uti's so ive been drinking a lot of cranberry juice.

once we finished our snack we went to make a different puzzle but it wasn't really fun so we just started watching the wind rises. i REALLY like the wind rises, but it made me cry the last time. i get really attached to other chronically ill characters, so nahoko,,, hit hard. thats okay!

we didnt finish it, we had 44min and 4sec left but we had to head out to go to trivia at this pizza place with her parents. we played trivia, i got 1 question right, and helped with some others, but mostly just kept track of the score. we scored 5th out of the 12 teams. we wouldve gotten 3rd if they had gone with one of my answers hehe~

we might do that again, it was fun! anyways, we got home and took the dogs for a walk. its insanely warm out, 82F and it was 9:30pm when we took them. too warm, especially with high humidity.

also, my arms kinda felt like it was broken all day. i dont rly like that. im gonna ice it and hope its not.

anyways. long day, so tired.

xx

misery

#daily journal

[nctsworld]

two nights, one you

✩‌ jaemin ‌x‌ ‌reader‌ ‌|‌ fuckboy!jaemin | strangers (who f*ck) to (brief) enemies to lovers | ‌10.9k 

SUMMARY‌ ‌⇾‌ a last-minute one night stand gone awry is extended into two nights when you’re snowed in at the cute (but rude) stranger’s apartment on christmas eve. [loosely based on the movie, two night stand] // part of the x-mas in ncity collection  GENRES ⇾ crack | smut | fluff  WARNINGS‌ ‌⇾‌ ‌lots of bickering and dialogue, smut, oral s*x (f and m receiving), fingering, mentions of alcohol/drinking, swearing, bit of angst before the end, jaemin’s an asshole... or is he? RATING‌ ‌⇾‌ explicit TAGLIST ⇾‌ @infnteen​ 

AUTHOR’S NOTE ⇾ it’s late (and long fsldkm), srysry but here it is! i hope the humour comes out in this and look away if falls flat zzz fingers crossed that i can finish the last two installments for this collection asap! 

⇾ gif created by me, please don’t repost or share without credit!

Maybe it’s because it’s the evening of Christmas Eve Eve and you’re feeling more lonely than usual.

Maybe it’s due to the two glasses of wine you guzzled down in the span of fifteen minutes that get you buzzed.

Maybe it’s your prominent six-month dry spell and you’re in desperate need for some much needed rain in your drought.    

Or maybe it’s just pure impulsiveness.

Regardless of the reasons, you’re aiming to get laid tonight.  

It’s 9:45pm as you make the rounds on Tinder. You’ve used it in the past, searching for a relationship in vain, but haven’t used it much since you broke up with your last partner. Bringing the app alive again, you’re already bombarded by distasteful messages, off-putting one-liners and jokes, and swiping left more than you’d like.

You haven’t had a one-night stand before, but isn’t there anyone on here that is just a little bit attractive, nearby where you are, around your age, and is somewhat chivalrous about the topic besides saying DTF? Maybe you need to lower your standards if you want to get dicked down tonight.

But then, you land on him.

One Na Jaemin, 20 years old, and only four miles away from you.

Scrolling through his profile pictures and Instagram feed, you assume that he’s into photography, is on the athletic side from the various hobbies he partakes in, and he must be at least half-aware of his beauty because there’s the occasional pic that shows off his lean, toned arms, which, if you can be frank, is more flattering than the shirtless ones you constantly see. Oh, and he attends the same university as you.

The cherry on top? His bio is simple and upfront:

“Not up for anything serious, but always down for a good time ;)”

You swipe right without hesitation.

“It’s a Match!” flashes instantly at you. Your mouth swings open in disbelief.  

Usually, you’d wait for your matches to message you and play hard-to-get, but not tonight. Tonight, you’re initiating and leading all the conversations, completely driven by your thirst.  

Messaging Jaemin is a breeze. He types with more than half a brain, and he flirts, but it isn’t overwhelming or repulsive. Segueing the current topic, you drag your bottom lip upward as you send the following message:  

so, hypothetically... if one were to have good time with you would tonight work?

Not even twenty seconds later and he replies with:

-wow, dont you go straight to the point -im impressed -but yeah -tonight works ;)

He’s quick to send his address.

-let me know when ur here and ill come get you out front!

Smacking your lips together, you squeal to yourself in the comfort of your home, excited to meet with him, but then a thought hangs over you—this feels a little too good to be true. Horrible scenarios run through your head, so your fingers dash across your phone’s keyboard:

tbh i haven’t really done this b4 so im kinda new to this is it ok if we video call or smth? gotta make sure you’re real and not a serial killer i’m sure you understand 😛

-for sure for sure -totally get it -ive had my fair share of fake girls and serial killers so i feel u 😛

Grateful for his consideration, you rush to rearrange your hair after you send him a Zoom link, hoping you look decent enough to not have him back off from his initial offer. He appears in the video call on his phone with the front-facing camera on a few seconds after you connect.

“Hi,” you chirp.

A corner of his mouth lifts. “Hey.”  

Okay, he’s definitely cuter in real-time than in his pictures.  

“You know, I’m not gonna lie, but I lowkey expected to see a dick or something,” you joke in an attempt to dispel your nervousness.  

“Same,” he chuckles, running a hand through his black hair.

Oh God, he’s not just cute—he’s devastatingly gorgeous.

“So, this is my place...”

Jaemin moves around with his apartment in the background, revealing his living room first. Envy prods you as you note the brick walls, high ceiling windows, and well-appointed furnishings.

Recalling his address, you ask, “How’d you get a place in the heart of the city?”

“Lucked out,” he shrugs. His phone shakes a bit as he’s still moving. “My friend slash roommate—who is at his girlfriend’s place tonight, so we have the place all to ourselves—his parents own the condo and they gave me a friend discount on the rent.”

He finally stands in one place and turns the light on to reveal a room. “And this is my bedroom.”

Nothing out of the ordinary. A desk table with a gaming set-up, in tow with a gamer chair, and a decently-sized bed beside a nightstand.

“Oh, and here’s my closet.” Jaemin’s on the move again as he opens his closet doors. “Just to make sure you don’t think I hide the skins of my past one-nighters in here.”

A bubbly laugh rises from you. “Okay, I didn’t think of that before, but now you’ve planted the seed in my head. Maybe you hide them in the other rooms.”

“Nah, my roommate would kill me if I did.”

Both of you laugh in unison, and you bob your head with puffed cheeks.  

“Okay, it all seems very promising. I’m going to get ready and I’ll guess I’ll see you in a bit, Jaemin.”

“Sounds good,” Jaemin nods, then winks. Although you’re sitting down, he’s still able to get you weak in the knees. “See you soon.”

You end the call and rush to bundle up for the snow starting to come down outside. A twenty-minute train ride later, you’re at the front door of a rustic, industrial apartment complex. After informing Jaemin you’re outside, you glance up at the snowflakes falling from the dark pink-grey sky, anticipating for what comes next.

Sex with a hot guy, what can go wrong?  

So, you must’ve jinxed it because the sex is...  

Unsatisfying. Finished faster than you’d like it to be. Sadly, overall disappointing. If you had to rate it, three out of five stars, at best.

But hey, he came, and you sort of did, and it wasn’t the worst sex you’ve ever had. It half-quenched your dry spell.

And enough happened that it tired you out, leaving you passed out in the handsome stranger’s bed until morning.

In the morning, your eyes slowly flicker, unused to the foreign, sweet scent engulfing you in your bed. Correction: Jaemin’s bed.

Your eyes flicker faster as you glance through the almost wall-sized window. The snow hasn’t let up from last night. On the contrary, it seems like it’s snowing non-stop. You groan at the thought of going home in this weather.

The bed is without Jaemin’s presence as you reach for your phone on the nightstand. 10:36AM and a few notifications greet you. You rub your eyes and start combing through them, rising upward to sit up on the bed.

“Morning. You’re finally up.”

Peering up from your device, Jaemin’s standing by the door with folded arms. His plain sweater and sweatpants match the colour of his hair. The dazzling smile he gives is so contagious, you’re not even conscious of catching one too.  

“Out you go.”

You blink.

Once, twice, and then you tilt your head as you stare blankly at him, uncertain if you heard him correctly.

After a few moments, because you’re not moving an inch, his smile dissipates and he cocks an eyebrow in expectancy. A serious expression rolls over his face.  

Suddenly, Jaemin strolls to the side of the bed and hitches his thumb towards the door.

You definitely heard him right.

And he’s dead-serious.

You replay the video call from last night, dissecting how you thought he was nice and funny and—

Realization dawns on you.

Why would you expect anything more from a two-faced fuck boy?

Still awestruck by the situation, you’re still solid as a statue, so Jaemin takes matters into his own hands and grasps you by your elbow, casually dragging you from his bed like he’s taking out the trash.  

“What the fuck?!” you screech.

“C’mon, let’s go. Out out.”

“My clothes, though!” you protest in the middle of the hallway. He sighs in frustration, scurries to the bedroom, and returns with a small pile in his arms, then continues to drag you to the front door.  

“Are you always this pleasant with your guests the morning after?” you rage, putting on the rest of your clothes by the door. “You don’t even have the decency to offer me tea or coffee?”

“This was a one-night stand, not a bed and breakfast, sunshine,” he says as he watches you put your shoes on. He’s folding his arms again and leaning against the wall, his attitude dripping with smug. If he wasn’t a stranger, you’d punch it off his face. “You weren’t kidding when you said you were new to this, huh?”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!”

“It means you’re a borderline virgin who needs to toodle-loo, get going and gone because you’re overstaying your welcome as we speak.”

Finishing putting on your coat, you’re fuming as your jaw hangs at the personal jab over your skills in bed. Jaemin swings the door open and shoves you through it.

“But I’ll admit, it was still nice having sex with you!” he chimes with a sickening grin and a hand on the door.  

“Aw, thanks asshole, wish I could say the same,” you sarcastically reply, resting a palm upon your chest.  

He scoffs. “From what I heard last night, I think I can confidently say that you had a great time.”

Flashbacks replay in your mind of your screaming fest from underneath him. Little did Jaemin actually know—

“You know, for someone who I assume has many one-night stands,” you spit with squinted eyes. “I’m surprised you can’t tell when girls fake it.”

You must’ve hit a sore spot because he grinds his teeth and you could almost see the steam coming out of his ears.

Oh yeah, you’re definitely the winner in this fight.

“Okay, you know what, Merry Christmas and fuck you. Have a great life!”

“Fuck you, dickface. Wishing you a miserable Christmas!”

With a bitter smile, you flip him off as he slams the door in your face.

Carrying a basket filled with dirty clothes, Jaemin’s on the way down to the laundry room in the basement of his apartment with his shoulder scrunched up, squeezing his phone to his ear.

“Bro, she had the audacity to say that I didn’t make her come when she was screaming my God damn ear off—”

As he steps down the short flight of stairs and passes by the foyer area by the main entrance to the building, he notices you’re still here.

“Shit, uh, Jeno,” he mumbles. “I’m gonna have to call you back.”

He stuffs his phone into the pocket of his sweats and calls out to you as he strides closer. “Are you resorting to stalking me by my front door now?”

With crossed arms, you peer over your shoulder, eyes full of bitterness.

“Like I wanna be anywhere near you right now,” you grumble. You jerk your head towards the thick, wooden door. “It’s jammed from the snow.”

The laundry carrier shakes his head and places the basket onto the floor. “A little snow never hurt anyone. You’re probably just too weak.”

Stepping aside and holding out an arm, you signal for him to give it a try.

Jaemin twists the handle and, lo and behold, it doesn’t open. His forehead crinkles as he tries again and again, using more force each time.

Glancing through one of the partially frosted windows adjacent to the sides of the door, he notices the snow has piled enormously high, almost to the height of his chest.

“Well, shit.”  

Reluctantly, Jaemin brings you back to his apartment. You’re technically his guest and if he left you in the foyer to freeze, trouble would surely come his way, whether it be in the form of his landlords (also known as his roommate’s parents) or the police.

Without a word, he settles a spoon in a bowl, a carton of milk, and a box of cereal onto the small kitchen table.

At first, you stare at it venomously in rejection, thinking you can easily last a day without any hand-outs from this son of a bitch, but your stomach roars ferociously three seconds later.

As you chew across from him, you enjoy the company of your phone over him, while he does the same but with a cup of coffee in hand.

After finishing your food, you adamantly place your phone down and lean back into the chair, boring holes into his head.

“Why are you such an asshole?” you seethe observantly.

“Why are you such a bitch?” he retorts, not pulling his gaze away from his phone.

“Because you started it,” you say slowly, stating the obvious.

“No, you.”

You sigh defeatedly at his childish behaviour. The weather apps predict the snow will (hopefully) die down by tomorrow morning, thus you’re officially stuck with him for the next twenty-four hours or so. Your hands rake through your hair.

“Whether we like it or not, the snow isn’t going away until tomorrow. Merry Christmas Eve to us, I guess.”

He’s still glued to his phone. You exhale another sigh.

“Since we’re not getting out of this until then, can we just...” You soften your voice. “Start over?”

His eyes are still on the screen, but from the way his shoulders tense and how he stops scrolling, you know he’s considering your proposition.

“At least call a stalemate over this.” You drift your hand in the air, gesturing between you and him.

Blowing out air and shaking his head, he rests his phone onto the table.

“Fine.”

He crosses his arms, imitating you, and the two of you sit there, staring at each other in a long silence.  

One minute, to be exact.

You’re the one to break the silence game by running your hands over your face, letting out a hybrid of a groan and laugh.

“God, the fact that we had sex makes this kinda awkward, huh?”

Jaemin’s exterior melts slightly, letting out a snicker. He shrugs, “Then let’s just pretend that we didn’t have sex.”

“We can’t just pretend that we didn’t have sex,” you say, holding two upturned palms near your face.

“We did it, it’s done. I’ve seen your penis, you kicked me out, and you labelled me a prude—” You dart a finger towards him. “—which I am far from, by the way. All of those are pretty huge things.”

One of the corners of his mouth raises high. “Are you saying my penis is huge?”

“No, the implication of said penis is huge. Wipe that smirk off your face.”

He stretches an arm, holding an imaginary microphone to your face. “Do you deny that my penis is huge?”

Rolling your eyes, you swat his fist away. “What am I, on trial here?”

“Do you plead the fifth then?”

Annoyed, you roll your eyes again. Why do you get the feeling that you’re probably going to be doing this a lot more today? Another feeling tells you that if you don’t answer his question, he’ll probably pester you until you do.

You tilt your head side to side. “It’s... decently sized.”

“Bigger or smaller than average?”

“Perfect...” His eyes light up. “...ly average.” And a frown rolls over.

He squints his eyes accusingly at your sneer. “Are you lying like you did before about faking it?”

You scoff. “I wasn’t lying about faking it, and I’m not lying now about your average sized dick.”

Jaemin releases a disgruntled grumble and lifts his cup to his face. You notice he likes to take his coffee black and bitter, presumably like his heart.

“So, Miss I’m-Not-A-Prude-and-I’ve-Definitely-Had-Sex-Before.” His eyebrows perk up on the word definitely. “What’s your story? Why the last minute one-night stand?”

Shrugging your shoulders to your ears, you reply, “Haven’t had sex in a while.”

“When’s the last time you had sex?” he asks mid-sip.

“Half a year ago,” you respond nonchalantly, perching your chin into your palms.

Jaemin immediately chokes, almost spraying the coffee through his nose.

“Half a year?!” he gasps. It takes him a few hits to his chest to dispel the coughing. “Six months?!”

“Wow, you can count!” you exclaim in a condescending tone. You change the position of your hands so that your chin is now atop of the back of your curled fingers and tilt your head. “Can you also spell?”

“As a premed student, I can assure you that I am capable of doing both,” he says with a slight strain due to the coughing fit. The humble brag brings on another eye roll. Of course he’s a premed student with the attitude he wears.

“It’s just—” He clears his throat and swallows the last bit of coffee stuck in his windpipe. “—The last time I had a dry spell was for like, a month, tops.”

So the fuckboy gets laid way more on the daily than you expect. You’re torn between being envious over how much action he gets in comparison to you, or remorseful, since you’re now just one of the many notches on his bedpost.

No matter, sarcasm is always the best defence mechanism.

“Good for you, Jaemin. I’m sure you’re very proud of that.”

There’s an awkward beat. His head hangs for a moment while his thumbs stroke the sides of his cup. A strange pinch of guilt occurs. Did you overstep an unspoken line? But then he drags himself back to reality in a heartbeat.

Jaemin brings the cup to his mouth again, mumbling, “At least the sex on your part makes more sense now; you’re rusty as fuck.”

Completely aware of what he said, you trash your guilt entirely and narrow your eyes. “What did you just say?”

Following a long sip, he hums, “Mmm, nothing.” Soon after, he stands up with his cup.

“I’m gonna go game now. Feel free to watch Netflix on the TV and stay in the living room.”

As if you had anywhere else to go...  

He begins to walk towards his room as you mutter under your breath, “I’m not a dog.”

“Says the bitch,” he pipes up, taking you by surprise.  

“Thought we had a stalemate?!” you shout, leaning your head forward as you watch him entering his room.  

“Doesn’t mean we’re on peaceful terms!” he sing-shouts.

The flinging of the closed door echoes throughout the apartment.

Regret surges through you. You just had to choose a fuckboy fluent in assholery and end up incidentally being isolated with him during a snow storm on Christmas Eve.

You wonder if you can handle being around him for the next twenty-four hours without killing him first.

During the afternoon, you’re on the living room couch, playing a show as mostly background noise while you’re on your phone. At one point, your phone unsurprisingly begins to die and you tread over to Jaemin’s door to ask for a charger and if you can also take a shower. He’s still annoyed by your existence, but at least he hands you a charger and lets you know where the extra towels are.

Stepping into the living room with the towel in your hand as you dry your hair off, you peer out the large living room window and see nothing but white engulfing the streets and buildings as far as the eye can see.

You pray the snow will eventually stop as soon as possible so you can head back home.

By the middle of the afternoon, Jaemin emerges from his bedroom and shocks you by plopping down on the opposite end of the living room couch from where you’re sitting.

“Bored?” you ask, eyes fixated on the TV screen.

“Nope,” he replies, popping the p as he says it. His slings his arm around the top of the couch.

“Gotta keep an eye on you in case you do something.” Turning away from the screen, he faces you and motions circles with his hand. “You’ve got a little crazy in you, I can feel it.”

You quickly glance over at him, but try to refocus on the TV. “Need I remind you that you’re the crazy one, dragging me out of the apartment right as I woke up.”

That compels him to turn his whole body towards you. “Well, you’re the one who wanted a last-minute one-night stand.”

You match his stance. “As if I’m the first girl in your bed to stay in the morning?”

“Actually, yeah.” He aggressively tilts his head to one side. “Most girls leave before I even get up. The other percentage don’t fight me when I ask for them to go, so it looks like you’re the odd one out.”  

You press your lips together, refusing to admit that maybe he has a point, under the assumption that he’s telling the truth.

Jaemin twists his body back to the screen and adds, “I make it very clear on my profile that I don’t do morning afters, sweetheart.”

And you agree that his profile is clear about his intentions, but that doesn’t mean you can condone his shitty behaviour.

“Well, sorry that I expected just an ounce of respect instead of getting kicked to the curb after you stuck your dick in me,” you grumble, shifting back to the show and crossing your arms.

“Morning afters lead to attachments, and attachments lead to feelings, and feelings lead to relationships,” he says the string of words clinically, as if it’s a mantra that he lives by.

Your eyebrows knit together as you whip your head towards him once more, studying him.

“And what’s so wrong with that?”

Deliberately averting your gaze, Jaemin grates his tongue between his teeth, a slight tsk audibly heard, and his chin juts out. There’s definitely a story behind his ways. He huffs and changes the subject.  

“Seriously?” He holds a hand out. “You’re watching this trashy show?”

Squinting your eyes at him, you could probably interrogate him further, but you decide otherwise.  

“It may be trashy,” you concur, looking at the TV. “But it’s my trashy comfort show.”

Following an over-the-top acted out scene between the show’s main love interests, Jaemin shoots up from the couch.

“Yeah, no, I can’t handle this. Can we either put on something else or game or something?”

“Why don’t you go back to your room to game, Mr. I’m-Not-Bored?”

“Like I said, I gotta keep an eye on you,” he says while bending over in front of the TV, already setting up the Playstation. He tosses you a controller as he strides to his side of the couch again.

He mumbles to himself, “Need to make sure you don’t go crazy from the lack of human interaction.”

Either Jaemin is selfish and only looking out for himself, or he wants to make sure you’re not feeling lonely in a stranger’s home.

Likely the first reason, you deduce—because why would a guy like Jaemin care about a mere one-night stand?

Admittedly, you’re not the best at games, especially at fighting ones. You can comprehend the move lists, but you like to live by button smashing the controller and repeating moves over and over.  

So it’s hilarious when you beat Jaemin every round with your surprisingly fruitful technique.

“Okay, this is bullshit,” Jaemin complains, sticking his tongue out in irritation. His ass is currently being handed to him on a plate again since you’re almost done killing his character off. “You must be lying to me; you have to be a pro player or some shit.”

Jaemin’s health bar is dangerously low as your character jabs his with a sword. He winces out loud and you snicker.

“Why do you think I always lie about everything?! Dude, you have serious trust issues,” you joke before you steal the opportunity to slice his character. One more hit and he’s done for.

“I do not! I just—nooo!”

You rise to your feet and pump your arms in the air, turning in circles in joy over yet another win.

Sulking, Jaemin eyes your little dance from his end on the couch, but as he watches you more, a feeling balloons in his chest. Something he hasn’t felt in a long time.

Finally coming down from your post-win high, you spot an emerging grin from the corner of your eye, making you pause.    

“What?” you eye him suspiciously.

Your suspicion pops the sensation in his chest and, like a fish out of water, his eyes widen and his grin melts away.

“Nothing, uhm.” He ruffles his eyebrows and palms the back of his neck, quickly facing the TV. “Let’s go one more round and then we can switch to another game—”

Suddenly, the TV and surrounding lights switch off. Both of you waver your eyes, anticipating for them to come back on, but they unfortunately don’t.  

Jaemin rushes over to the window. When he swivels his head towards you, his face darkens.

“Looks like it’s at least the whole block. The streetlights are out too.”

Without another word, he dashes to the linen closet and brings back several blankets. He calmly explains that there won’t be heat since it’s connected to the electricity, so it’d be best to keep warm with the extra layers.

Not wanting to scare you, he doesn’t add the fact that due to the huge windows in the apartment, more unnecessary cold air will come in, but you’re already cognizant of it from your own logic and since the remaining heat dissolves rapidly.

You groan and retreat into the massive blanket over your shoulders, turtling your head.

You can’t believe you’re going to fucking die in this asshole’s apartment on Christmas Eve.

On the ends of the couch in your makeshift blanket jackets, both of you attend to your phones for a while.

From what people and the news outlets are saying, it’s not just the block, but the whole city grid is out. You frantically text your friends, giving updates on how you are and half-jokingly telling them that you’re going to die with your dreadful one-night stand. Some time passes and Jaemin tosses his phone  off to one side.  

“Well, since there’s nothing else to do and we should probably conserve our phone batteries—” You glance up at him from your phone and pout. Slowly nodding in agreement, you toss it aside too. “—why don’t we play a game of ‘I’ll-Give-You-Pointers-on-How-to-be-Better-in-Bed’?”

A smile burgeons on his irritatingly handsome face and your eyes roll. At this point, you wonder if the reaction is conditioned into you. “It’ll be my early Christmas gift to you.”

“Wow, so thoughtful, how could I ever thank you?” You drag the blanket closer to your chest in false gratitude.

You think for a serious moment if you really want to go through with this. Hearing Jaemin run his mouth on you unwarranted is already painful, but to give him the go-ahead to do so? Especially criticizing your skills in bed?  

You blow out a sigh, noting the slightly visible cloud. You’re grateful Jaemin has thick, downy blankets.  

Well, if you’re going to die, may as well know what went wrong, right?

“Fine, but if we’re playing this game, we have to say everything honestly and take the criticism we get.” You point a stern finger. “No rebuttals, just acceptance.”

“Wait.” Jaemin crinkles his face in genuine confusion as his hand peeks out from his blanket.

“You have things to criticize about me in bed?”

Your lips tremble before you burst into laughter. Displeasure is on Jaemin’s tight-lipped face as you laugh for a while, almost keeling over in your blanket ball onto the hardwood floor. “How conceited are you, oh, my fucking God?”

He slices his hand through the air. “I’ve never had any complaints—”

“Because you’re too busy focusing on your own orgasm, you selfish dickwad,” you say as your laughter dies down.  

He sits in his snit for a few more moments until he gets over it.

“Fine, fine,” he huffs. Jaemin knows he’s not going to enjoy this, but he’s the one who suggested it. He can’t back out now. “Let’s just get this over with, you go first.”

With your blanket held by your chest, you hop off your end of the couch and shuffle over in front of him where he’s seated. Beaming, you begin.

“Let’s start with foreplay.” Jaemin’s eyes light up with confidence, thinking he’s at least decent with that. You crush his expression as your lips purse and you shake your head.

“Non-existent.”

“What do you mean?! I kissed you as you took off your clothes.”

You stick your free hand out from your blanket, extending your index finger.

“One: you only kissed my lips. You know, there are other parts of me to kiss, like, I don’t know, my neck, my arms, my shoulders.”

You extend another finger. “And, two: it’s weird to not help someone take off their clothes. Like you’re in a super rush to get somewhere or something—”

“We’re fucking!” he cuts in sharply. “This is a one-night stand, not a relationship.”

Closing your eyes and dropping your head, you pinch the bridge of your nose. You sigh in exaggeration.

“Thought we agreed no rebuttals...” you softly sing-say.  

Jaemin’s head sinks a little into his blanket. “Sorry.”

Removing your hand, you shrug. “Maybe there’s some rule that I don’t know about one-night stands, so this could be on me.”

You start to aimlessly tread back and forth in front of him, dragging the blanket along too. “But fuck, foreplay is foreplay for a reason. You work your way up to the heat of the moment and it makes sex much better, regardless if you’re in a relationship with the person or not.”

“Next point.” You stop walking and direct your focus on him. Pointing your finger and looking him dead in the eye, you ask, “Do you know what a vagina is?”

He snorts with a simper. “Uhhh, is this a rhetorical question?”

“No, I’m legit asking,” you say with a raised eyebrow and snarky smile. “Because when you went down on me, all you flicked your tongue at was the outside of it, also called the labia if you didn’t know.”

“I’m premed, of course I—”

“Which is great! But you didn’t go any deeper nor did you go near my clit.”

You thrust your finger again. “Do you also know what that is?”

“Yes...” he groans with the flickering eyelids.

You swipe your arm through the air. “Maybe make use of it, and not only when you go down on girls. Even during sex, touching it is great.”

“And lastly,” you continue. “I’ll be honest here, you have a decent dick.”

Jaemin waggles his finger. “So you were lying before—”

“I wasn’t lying,” you retort firmly. “But anyways, you’ve got the stuff, but why don’t you put it to better use?”

With the following words, you attempt to gesture with your body and execute moves as graphic visuals. Jaemin giggles at the sight.

“Vary the speeds and the angle, don’t just slam it in me and go crazy fast from the get-go. Build up to the climax. Jesus, I couldn’t even get close to coming because you’re like a jackhammer from start to finish.”

When you finally finish, Jaemin’s giggles morph into hollow laughs. Frustration is blatant on your face, pondering if he even absorbed a single word you said.  

After he calms down, he asks, “Are you done?”

You mumble, “Yeah, I think so.”

The two of you switch places. He shuffles onto his feet with his blanket while you sit back on the couch.

Jaemin pulls the blanket across the floor as he ambles. “Okay, your head game is decent—”

“Excuse you, my head game is strong.”

“Uh-uh, rebuttal,” he points out.  

You sigh. Pinching your fingers together, you drag the invisible zipper across your mouth, then wave your hand, allowing him to resume.

“Your head game is decent. You definitely can deepthroat, but—” He mirrors you from before and extends his index finger.

“One: this happened only a few times, but your teeth scraped against my dick, which is why I assumed you were a borderline virgin.”

You fume silently at the accusation, attempting to not speak up with a heap of rebuttals. But he wasn’t wrong—if you teethed on his dick, that’s a classic virgin move.

“But that’s okay, because we already established that you’re just rusty.” Jaemin flashes you a fake comforting smile as he continues to pace. You flash him one back.

“And two—” He holds another finger out. “Don’t be scared to use your hands and stroke me. Give my dick some love. If it’s too wet, just wipe your hands on the bed or something.”

“Okay, duly noted,” you hum. “Next.”

“Don’t be scared to touch me.”

“I touched you so much during—”

He shoots you a glare. You roll your mouth inward, your lips disappearing instantly.

“Your hands were mostly on the sheets, which is hot, but guys like to be felt up too.”

The attractive individual peers up for a second, thinking to himself. “Even hotter when a girl feels herself up during the fucking, but that’s beside the point. Baby steps, just remember to touch the other person.”

Jaemin does a full-stop and faces you.

“And just... don’t fake it.” Distress is evident in his pout. You hate to admit it, but it’s a little cute. He raises an arm and jerks it in the air. “Why do girls fake it?”

“Because guys with egos like you can’t handle criticism,” you reply bluntly.  

“What are we doing, having this conversation, hm?”

“We wouldn’t be having this conversation if it didn’t snow in and keep us here together.” You peel a hand away and gesture to the window. “If I walked out of here this morning, you would’ve just fucked the next girl the same.”

He defends himself, “Faking it just feeds our egos.”

“Yeah, well, if I told you afterwards that I didn’t come, what would you do?”

“Try to make you come in other ways?”

Shaking your head, you scoff. “Guys like you aren’t that considerate.”

“You’re right.” He assents, holding his pointer finger against his chest. “Because guys like me aim to please.”

A brilliant thought leaps in his mind and Jaemin gasps. You can only assume bad things from the wicked smile he sends your way.  

“Why don’t we try it again?”

Perplexed, you squint at him.

“Try what again...?”

“Sex,” he says enthusiastically.

You blankly stare at him.

“You’ve gotta be joking,” you deadpan.

“I mean, there’s nothing else to do and it’ll keep us warm.” 

You continue to stare at him until you groan.

“Oh, my God...” Your blanket droops a bit off your shoulders as you drag your palms across your face. “I cannot believe I’m stuck in this snowstorm with you out of all people...”

Sitting next to you, Jaemin persistently reasons with you. “Think of it also as another learning experience for the future partners we’ll have.”

“Yeah, if we don’t die first!” you shriek.

“We’re not going to die,” Jaemin replies in a mocking tone and a dart of his tongue.  

Outside the window, the snow seems to have slowed down, but not by much.  

God, Jaemin better be fucking right because you want to live to see another day.  

“Fine,” you mutter and match his gaze. “But we have to be vocal throughout the whole thing. Say whatever’s on our mind.”

“Fine,” he agrees to your terms. He produces the same wicked smile again. “But can we film it then? So we can study it after?”

You fire him a death glare that melts his face off, even in the frigid atmosphere.

“I’m joking, I’m joking,” he says, waving his hand.

They say that jokes are half-meant true, but you think Jaemin fully meant it. Still in your blanket jackets, Jaemin snags your free hand and leads you to his room.

“You gotta give me credit for trying, though.”

“No.” You shake your head with an unwilling smile creeping on the edge of your lips. On second thought, maybe the joke was a little funny, but you still stand by your opinion that he’s the most annoying person in the world. “I don’t think I will.”

“Thank God Chenle has so many scented candles...”

On the edge of Jaemin’s bed, huddled by the blanket, you watch him light up several large jars, placing them on his nightstand and desk in hopes to brighten the room. It’s already late afternoon, but one could mistaken it for nighttime with the muddy sky due to the snow.

“Is Chenle your roommate?”

“Yeah,” Jaemin answers with a slight shiver, igniting the last candle near the bedside. He removed his blanket when he went to nab the matches and candles. “His girlfriend gets free ones from work, so she always gives him a shit ton, even though he never uses them.”

With a glowing hue against his face, he blows out the match. He makes his way to you, a cocky grin plastered on him, as he says, “Guess we’re making use of them now, though.”

Before you can even respond, Jaemin gets right down to business—sitting beside you on the mattress, he palms your face and drags you in for a kiss. You softly yelp, but immediately reciprocate.

The cover falls off your body as you reach to touch him, fingers drifting over his solid arms.

You don’t want to stroke his large ego, and maybe it’s because you haven’t had anyone else on you in a while, but Jaemin’s kisses are something else.

The cushiony pair of lips always executes enough pressure against your mouth, increasing and decreasing on command in perfect tandem and timing. His hands hover over your waist and the nape of your neck, fingers sinking into your hot skin.  

His mouth trails downward the side of your neck. You crane your head back, indulging in his caresses as soft moans trickle out.

He gently signals for you to recline back and lay onto the mattress, moving the sea of blankets aside. Inclined on his elbow, almost atop of you, his cool fingers glide under your top layers, his thumb stroking against your stomach.

Pulling away from your body, he tugs on the ends of your clothes. You rise from the bed to better the angle for him to discard of them.

The hairs on your skin are standing on end from the frigid air, but you’re too focused on Jaemin’s mouth migrating over your upper arm and your bra-covered chest to care. Without notice, he stuffs a cup of the bra to one side and takes your bosom into his mouth.

Air’s seized from your lungs and your core contracts from the pleasure. Your fingers tug on Jaemin’s luscious locks and his free hand squeezes your unoccupied breast.    

After a few twirls of his tongue and a gentle drawing of his teeth on the pointed tip, he mumbles hotly into your chest while he thumbs your other nipple, “Foreplay still non-existent?”

“It’s better, I guess,” you sigh with fluttering eyes. His chuckling reverberates against your cleavage, a sign of amusement from your obstinacy. A gasp pierces the room as Jaemin repeats his actions onto the other breast.

He aids you in taking off the rest of your clothes and, obviously aware of your goosebumps and shuddering, tells you to get underneath the blankets while he strips himself.

Under the toasty ocean of layers, despite how both of you are bare-boned and how easy it is to jump into the main act, Jaemin purposefully continues to prolong the foreplay. Side by side, your lips meld endlessly; your legs and hands are intertwined in an amorous pretzel.

Jaemin ensures he doesn’t leave any part of you untouched—the pads of fingers virtually graze over every inch of your body. Each grip and drag of his digits sends you in a frenzy. Your chest is pressed into him and your eyes are blinded with desire.

In the back of your mind, you think about how you were right about foreplay working up to the heat of the moment—literally, because you’re dripping, he’s hard, and you two have embraced so much that you don’t need the blankets anymore.  

On the other hand, you wonder if Jaemin was right about skipping foreplay, because with every whisper of each other’s name, the intimacy rises immensely. You don’t know him, and neither him with you, but you’re both freely drowning in one another in a plane beyond the lust.

Although the room’s beginning to smell of a mix of all the scented candles, Jaemin hones in and drinks in your sweet aroma and your entirety behind his hazy eyes and already tousled hair. All of a sudden, one drag of his fingers over a particular sensitive spot on your body makes you giggle.

“I’m ticklish over there.”

“You mean right—” He drums his fingers over the area again. “—here?”

With a toothy grin, he generates more suffering from you and you begin to lively howl. Soon enough, you beg him to stop.

“You’re such an asshat, c’mon, let me live!”

When he ceases, his head hangs over yours and your gazes connect.

The same feeling blooms in his chest from before in the living room.

He gulps as his eyes waver over your face, unknowingly tracing your beautiful features and etching them into his memory.

Your starry eyes. Your glowing aura. Your everything.

You barely register the change in his expression because he quickly tramples on his moment of weakness by kissing you passionately.

Jaemin whips the blankets aside as he lowers himself between your legs. Your eyes are fixated on him, matching his stare, until he starts to devour you by swiping against your lustrous folds. Your back bows, and, following a few more licks, Jaemin makes a point of his knowledge of the vagina by spreading your lips and ravishing your pussy, tongue penetrating deeply.

Rippled moans release in harmony with your undulating chest. You swear you’re getting more wet, too wet, likely making it overwhelming for Jaemin, but he’s eagerly lapping every drop up.  

“How’s that?” he inquires with a grin, hovering over your trembling nether lips. His mouth is evidently glossy, even under the dim lighting.

“Good,” you pant in the most nonchalant tone you can muster up. “Very good-ahhh—”

Jaemin kindly interrupts you by tonguing your clit as he fingers your sex deeply, shattering your fake indifference.

“Move your tongue up more,” you direct, creasing your eyebrows in despair. He follows your direction, and droning moans ensue.

Jaemin’s immersed in your pleasure, but also adding to his own. The more he laps up your wetness, the more he grinds his length against the bed, aching to be inside of you.

Your desire pulses faster, contracting tighter against his fingers, body winding tensely by the second.

“Fuck, Jaemin,” you whine, leaning your head to one side with a parted mouth. “I’m close.”

He draws back and temporarily replaces his tongue with his thumb.

“Good,” he pants, cocking his head to one side. His eyes are filled with determination. “Because I’m not stopping until you come at least two more times tonight.”

You exhale a light laugh. “That’s ambiti-ohgodohgod—”

His tongue works wonders on your clit once more, so much that he has to brace your bucking hips.

Okay, maybe Jaemin did learn a thing or two and actually listened to what you said during your critique.

But now it’s time to demonstrate to him what you’ve learned.

You don’t need much of a break to catch your breath, nor do you want to immediately freeze due to inactivity, so you pull Jaemin in for an intense kiss, tongue dipping into the remnants of your own nectar, then beckon for him to take your former place on the bed.

Perched on the bottom of your feet, you’re on one side of Jaemin, lackadaisically fisting his prominence. After a few strokes, you gradually swallow his inches, keeping in mind to relax your jaw and to not rush in order to avoid any potential teething. You do this to prove yourself worthy of giving head, but also in spite, because you absolutely do not need Jaemin to brand you a virgin again.  

You read his quiet groans and his long fingers running lazily through your hair as a positive sign and advance further.

Carefully, you rest your tongue beneath the underside of his cock and bob your head, licking him until he’s sopping with your saliva. His grip in your hair grows in strength as his length reaches the end of your throat, his groans becoming more and more drawn-out.

A needy whimper leaves him as you suddenly withdraw. Dribbles of your spit follow, and you wipe it off with the back of your hand.  

“How am I doing?” you glow in a pant, lazily stroking the doused shaft.

He simply nods with half-lidded eyes, barely able to look at you. “Yeah.”

You snicker at him in his breathless position, a prickle of pride running through your spine over the fact that you blew his mind as much as you blew his dick.

“Use your words, Jaemin.”

Teasingly, your fingers curl around his blunt head, soothing the sensitive tip and sending jolts throughout him.

“Fuck—” he pulls his bottom lip upward. “Awesome. You’re doing awesome.”

“Anything to critique?”

“Mm-mm,” he shakes his head restlessly. You revel a bit more in having the upper hand on him a little while longer. You grip him tighter and hasten your speed, leaving him gasping for air.

“Am I still rusty?”

“Nope, nope,” he croaks, voice rising to a whine. “Definitely not rusty.”

“You sure?” His cockiness has transferred over to you.

“Yes, yes—fuck, slow down, please,” Jaemin begs.    

Granting his wish, you abate your rhythm and free his inches from your touch.

You wipe your hands on the sides of the bed while Jaemin rummages through the drawer of his nightstand and hastily rolls over the rubber over himself before he prepares to enter the body beneath his.  

Recalling your advice, Jaemin mindfully starts off slow. You sigh blissfully in sync to his thrusts. He adjust himself, attempting another angle, and you draw in air between your teeth.

“There, there—“

Jaemin’s quick-witted and keeps at it, plunging a bit more vigorously. Out of habit, your hands grasp onto the bedsheets, but you wittingly attach them to his frame. Hands grazing his neck, his firm pecs, and his taut muscles.  

“Touch-touch my stomach,” he orders in a hush.

You hands follow through and feel up the flexed valley of his abs. Feeling up evolves into desperate gripping and even the slight dragging of your nails.

“Your abs are so fucking hot,” you state thoughtlessly, eyes eating up the view alongside his cock disappearing in and out of you. “Jesus, fuck.”

“Yeah?” he rasps with that devilish smirk of his. God, you want to smack it off him, but not right now—not when you’re reaching euphoria. “You’re not just saying that?”

Oh, you’ve definitely stroked his ego now, but there’s no turning back. Truth spills from you on a whim.

“You’re a fucking masterpiece,” you gasp acutely.

You’re starting to wither away, yet, as if they have a life of their own, your hands drift away from him and find a new home atop your breasts.

“You make me feel so good, Jaemin...”

Jaemin’s eyes go wide. His mouth hangs at the lewdness of you touching yourself.

“Fuck, holy shit.”

His gaze doesn’t leave your ecstatic face or humming body for a second as you knead your breasts and tweak your nipples between your fingers. Your back arches further when Jaemin deepens his sweet, fulfilling thrusts. He’s holding himself back, not wanting to end this beautiful deed just yet.

The stimulation bursts over your body, both from your own doing and Jaemin’s.  

You plead, “Faster, please, faster.”

And he complies, but he also rubs your bundle of nerves, causing a tight knot in you to build up and your shallow moans transform into heavy screams. You clasp onto his back and claw at the protruding shoulder blades.  

“I’m-I’m—”

You clench, both with your core and your nails digging into him, but Jaemin’s unrelenting, capturing your second peak for the evening.

Instead of coming after you, he shockingly veers lower and closer to you and curbs his pace.

“Was that real?”

You respond with an exhausted nod. Oddly, the smile he shows this time isn’t arrogant, but warm and teetering the line of tenderness. His lips fuse with yours before they stray towards your neck. The passion stews as he sucks your tits, all the while lunging laxly into you.  

With an obscene pop!, Jaemin removes himself from your nubs.

“Ready for the last round?”

His fast thrusts, hitting you precisely in the best spot, cloud your already weakened logic, deterring you from making any response.    

Perspiration is blatant on both individuals. For him, his forehead glistens gorgeously with his damp hair. For you, the back of your bent knees are gluing together. Your bodies are about to pass out, but you both persevere until the end.

As you convulse and perish together in beautiful agony, coincidentally enough, the bulbs in the room and in the streets leap to radiance.

Together, you collapse onto the bed side by side, panting heavily and laughing.

“Told you we weren’t going to die.”

You turn your head to see Jaemin looking at you with a cheeky grin. In retaliation, you stick your tongue out.

By nighttime, it’s finally stopped snowing outside. However, the streets won’t be cleared until morning, at the very least.

But... you’re surprisingly okay with that.

In a turn of events, the sex inexplicably makes the two of you warm up to each other. There still is targeted banter and tension between you, lingering from before, but it’s less hostile and more playful.

During a fancy Christmas Eve dinner of microwavable pizzas, you poke fun at each other’s majors and discuss your respective hobbies in depth, especially his love for photography. Jaemin even asks if he can take a picture of you, claiming that the kitchen lighting actually looks nice on someone for once.  

“Is that how you collect the memory of your one-night stands? Instead of hanging their skins in your closet, you sweet-talk your way and keep all the photos of them?” you joke, referring to the video call from yesterday night. It feels like an eternity ago, but snowstorms tend to do that.

He chuckles behind the camera as he snaps a photo of you scrunching your face cutely.

“Yeah, but you’re the first one who has clothes on,” he says, glancing down at the photo on the camera roll.  

“Ugh, gross,” you cringe and take a sip of tea.

Jaemin doesn’t add anything further. He leaves out the fact that he never keeps any traces of his one-night stands, that you’re the first girl he’s taken a picture of in a while.  

After a few hours of more talking and even some gaming with one another, sleep is much needed. Jaemin offers an extra toothbrush and a sweater and pair of sweats to sleep in. You’re facing each other on his bed, noses almost touching.  

“It’s been a while since I haven’t had sex with a girl before I slept next to them,” he whispers, adjusting himself comfortably. The side of his face rests on his piled hands. “It’s kinda nice.”

You cover your mouth as you yawn, then lay your hand back under your head, reflecting the same position as Jaemin.

“You know, it might be my sleepiness talking, but maybe you’re not the worst person in the world to be stuck with during a snowstorm.”

A lovely chuckle echoes in your ear. “I’m glad you’ve had a change of heart.”

After a few moments, your eyes are fluttering to a close until he softly calls out your name.

“Hm?” you stir awake, but not by much.

“Do you...?”

Jaemin doesn’t know what’s gotten to him, doesn’t quite understand why the defences he built for so long are crumbling down in only a day of knowing you.  

And yet, something urges him to give it a chance.

Blowing out a shaky sigh, he anxiously intertwines his fingers with yours. You hum softly at the action and a small smile blooms on your face.

“Do you want to go on a date with me sometime?”

“Hm?” His question doesn’t take you aback as much as you would be if you were fully awake. But even in your drowsy state, you have quips in hand. “Jaemin, the notorious fuckboy and serial one-night stander, wants to go on a date?”

“Yeah,” he replies gently, brushing your loose hair out of your face.

Another yawn. “I thought you said you don’t want feelings and relationships and all that shit.”

His fingers trace your pretty jawline and shrugs. “One date doesn’t mean we’re going to be in a relationship, I’m sure you know that.”

You pause for a good two seconds, but the two seconds feel like forever for Jaemin.

“Mmm, fine. One date, just one.” You barely hold up your pointer finger. “And only because it’s Christmas tomorrow. ‘Tis the season to be giving...”

Relief washes over Jaemin in the form of a smile. Embracing the blatant feeling in his chest this time, he plants a light kiss on your nose and wishes you sweet dreams, even though you’ve already fallen soundly asleep.  

Sunlight pours over your eyes on Christmas morning.

Déjà vu peculiarly creeps up on you, but the only thing that’s the same as yesterday is waking up in Jaemin’s bed.

He’s next to you this time, deep in his peaceful slumber, instead of waiting for you to leave by his doorframe. The snow has finally stopped, and you think you hear the faint noises of snow plows outside. You inhale deeply and also notice the faded aroma from all the scented candles from last night.

The scenes of yesterday flicker across your mind. The incredible sex. The talking. The dinner. The interlocking of his fingers with yours.

The date he asked you out on.

You stare at him, watching him sleep with a sense of content.

Turning your body, you routinely check your phone, which is charging beside his. You have a slew of Merry Christmas texts from several chats and a few private messages from your friends.

Your attention falls on Jaemin’s phone when it lights up with a notification, likely texts from his friends and family too.

But that’s not what you’re focusing on.

Your heart sinks at the sight of his lockscreen.

It’s a picture of him and a girl kissing.

A twinge emerges in your chest and twists harder and harder.

Jaemin being a fuckboy, you can respect. People can do whatever they want with their lives.

But to cheat?

That’s unforgivable, and a true sin if there ever was one.

You scramble to dash out of there, careful not to make any noises in fear of waking Jaemin up. However, Jaemin’s sensitive to the sounds of the front door, so he rouses awake. His eyes flit open, noticing how you’re gone. He then sees his phone blowing up and adds two and two together.

With his phone in hand, Jaemin rushes to get on a coat and stuffs his feet into his boots, not giving a shit that he’s wearing his thin pajamas in the coldness. He’s bounding down the flight of stairs and onto the bright, white wonderland of the streets.

He swivels his head and catches sight of you almost past down the block, slowly trekking through the thick snow. Jaemin sprints, as much as he can, and hops towards you.  

He yells your name, making others on the street turn, but you don’t. You continue forward without looking back.

“Wait! I can explain!”

You’re trying to gain speed, but cardio isn’t your friend. Thankfully for Jaemin, it’s a close friend for him.

“I don’t wanna fucking hear it, Jaemin,” you grunt, hearing the rapid crunching of his shoes coming closer. “Get lost.”

“No, listen to me for a second.”

The boyish man grasps you by the arm and turns you around. You throw his arm away from you and he holds his hands in the air, letting you know that he respects your space. He drops his hands and sees that you’re seething, even worse than you were when he kicked you out yesterday.

“How are you going to explain your lockscreen with you kissing your fucking girlfriend?! Hm?”

“Ex,” he pants in clarification. “Ex-girlfriend.”

Your eyebrows mesh together in utter confusion.

“Okay? That doesn’t make me feel any better, knowing that you’re still hung up on your ex.”

Jaemin shakes his head and rakes a hand through his hair. You note the large clouds he exhales and how he’s barely wearing any clothes. A tinge of sympathy passes through you, wanting to give him some of your clothes for extra layers, but you smother that quickly in your state of rage.  

“I’m not hung up on her. Remember you asked me yesterday why I don’t want girls to stay the next morning?”

You cock your head impatiently, as if saying, “Yeah.”

“Well, I don’t want to attach myself to girls. I can’t. I...”

He lowers his head to one side. Shutting his eyes, a long puff emits from his mouth.

“She cheated on me.”

The snow plows in the distance can’t compare to the pumping of your heart in your ears. All the feelings you felt in the last day, but especially in the last fifteen minutes, jumble together in your head, making you feel uneasy and unsure of what to exactly feel or comprehend of the situation.  

But you do know one thing, despite the fact that you two barely know each other, the pained look on his face is real—that this is the untold story behind his ways.  

Jaemin lifts his head and holds out his phone for emphasis. “The lockscreen serves as a constant reminder that dating and feelings will and can fuck me up.”

Carefully, he steps a little closer to you and slowly cups your face in his shaking hands. You don’t pull away nor is there the same anger from moments before, so he daintily runs his thumbs over your cheeks.

“Until you showed me yesterday that maybe I’m willing to give it all another shot. Risk it all for fuck knows what, but you make it look like it’s worth it.”

He continues his ramble after adjusting some of your hair from the ongoing breeze.

“Sure, it’s Christmas today, but I don’t want you to say yes to going on a date with me just because it is. I want you to say yes because maybe you like spending time with me just as much as I like to spend it with you.”

You’re completely disoriented—your eyes are shifting everywhere but his eyes and your lips are quivering with no words coming out. He sighs understandingly. 

“Look, I know you’re probably having second thoughts and you don’t have to give me an answer right now. Think on it for as much time as you need, but I want you to know that I genuinely like you and I want to go on an actual date with you.”

He peels his hand away from your face and raises it into the air as if taking an oath.

“I, Na Jaemin, the notorious fuckboy and serial one-night stander, will devote to monogamy once again if it means I can date you.”

His hands grab yours, kisses the back of them, and then he presses one kiss onto your icy cheek prior to walking away.

“Merry Christmas,” he says with a sad smile. “You know where to find me if you change your mind.”

Later that evening at your large family’s Christmas party, you take another dreadful gulp of your wine.

It’s the happy holiday season, but why does everyone feel the need to stick their nose in your dating life? Well, really, a lack there of.

“Why are you still single?” Layers of their voices resound the same question in your head. You take another swig.

Potential unsaid answers that you kept to yourself fly around as you swish the drink in your glass.  

Because you choose to be.

Okay, not really, but it’s the easiest answer.  

Because you haven’t found the right guy to get you back in the game.

What does that even mean? What makes the right guy even right?

The right guy? It’s someone who makes you laugh, someone who gives as good as they can take it, someone who wants you just as much as you do.

The cogs move in your head as you take one more sip before you finally come to the conclusion—  

Because you didn’t find the right guy until last night.

Despite the mess of today and yesterday morning, you realize that Jaemin is... actually sort of sweet. Annoying, yes, but he keeps you on your toes. It’s a plus that he’s easy on the eyes, but it’s a bigger plus that he’s even easier to talk to.

And if he can find it in his scorched heart to trust you, you can find it in your heart to trust him too.  

You quickly say your good-byes to your family and let them know you have other plans with friends tonight.

As the Uber rolls up to his apartment building, you realize you probably should’ve messaged him on Tinder, but it’s worth a shot to see if he’s home. Anyways, impulsiveness is a controlling entity, as evident from your Christmas Eve Eve’s adventure.

And in retrospect, perhaps Jaemin was the perfect pick of the crop after all.  

Someone’s entering the building and lets you in behind them. You take the stairs two at a time and hear booming music coming from his floor. At first, you assume it’s from other apartments, but it’s all coming from one—his.

Without a thought, your knuckle taps the door.  

A handsome figure that’s definitely not Jaemin opens the door. Behind him, you see a group of young men scattered around the living room, and some have a few girls tucked under their arms.

The man eyes you up and down with a spark in his eye. He’s not Jaemin, but he surely reminds you of him.

“And who might you be?” he asks.

“Who’s at the door, Jeno?” An unknown male voice hollers in a high pitch from the couch. He’s one of the guys with a girl attached to him.

You blink. “Uhm, I’m—”

“She’s with me!” Jaemin shoves the flirty stranger aside and tugs you by your wrist, making headway to his bedroom. He flips the light switch on and the door clicks shut.

“What are you doing h—”

You cut him off with a kiss.

An innocent one, at first, with hints of alcohol on each other’s lips. Your arms wrap around the other and the passion increases with the mingling of your tongues, each party tasting and confirming the specific drinks you both consumed tonight.  

Jaemin forces himself to pull away and presses his forehead against yours. “Did you just come all the way here to kiss me, or...?”

“Maybe I came over to ask... if I can stay with you for another night?” you playfully ask, fingers intertwining behind the nape of his neck.  

He chuckles heartily. His fingers sink into the sides of your waist. “Is my dick that great? The sex with me that amazing?”

“Mmm, that’s definitely a benefit,” you agree, fluttering your nose against his. “But I want more than that—“ You poke a finger to his chest. “—I want the man behind the dick.”

Your gazes converge, bringing you together as one.

“I want to go on that date with you. I want you, Jaemin.”

He flashes a megawatt smile that could compete with a million Christmas lights, but it fades suddenly and you’re unsure why he seems like he’s about to bawl his eyes out.

“That’s so beautiful, I might cry.” He brings a finger to his eye, pretending to shed a tear.

Oh, yeah—you’re definitely going to need to hire someone to constantly shove your eyeballs back into your sockets if you’re going to date Jaemin.

“Oh, shut up,” you whisper, yanking him in for another kiss.

Three dates later, including a memorable New Year’s Eve, you finally decide to rid of the Tinder app for good.

With his arm around you on his living room couch, Jaemin glances over your shoulder.

“Really? You’re finally deleting your Tinder?”

You snort in disbelief. “That’s gold, coming from the King of Tinder himself. When did you delete?”

He turns to face the television and shrugs coolly.

“Maybe I didn’t.”

“Wouldn’t put it past you,” you nod, eyes still on your phone.

“Nah, I’m kidding, I did.”    

You sharply turn your head.

“No way. When?” you press with narrow eyes.  

A shy smile emerges on Jaemin’s face as he picks his pants over his thighs.

“On the night of Christmas Eve, after you agreed to go on a date with me.”

#jaemin #na jaemin #jaemin x reader #jaemin smut #jaemin fluff #jaemin angst #nct #nct smut #nct fluff #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct fanfic #jaemin imagines #jaemin scenarios #jaemin fanfic #nct dream imagines #nct dream scenarios #nct dream fanfic #nct dream smut #nctcreations

[chifuyusfingers]

~Tokyo Revengers members reaction to their girlfriend overhears them calling her clingy~

----------------------------------------------------------

M i k e y

Mikey stared at your figure on the couch, your hands tightly curled around the remote and your eyes glued to the movie on the television. Something was wrong but he could definitely feel it. He knew that there was something different about you but he didn’t know what. “Y/n?” he called out, awaiting your response. You didn’t even spare him a glance as you mumbled a ‘yes'. “Aren’t you gonna come and gimme a hug like always?” he asked, voice wavering. Mikey hated how he sounded but he finally realized what was causing him a bother, you hadn’t been greeting him when he arrived home anymore. “What’s wrong?” he asked right after realizing what was the problem. Normally you were the type of person to not just burst out your emotions like that but before you could collect yourself,. “I,,I-” you stopped for a second to collect your breath “-I overheard what you told draken and im sorry for being so clingy.” the tears were already dripping down your cheeks mikey's eyes wavered at your words “Baby I didn't mean it like that,,Im sorry that I made you feel that way I was stressed. I love how clingy you are, and I just love the way you love me,” Mikey softly spoke, pulling you in for a gentle hug.

D r a k e n

Draken loved how clingy you could be, some days he wanted nothing more than to be in your arms. Afterall, it wasn’t easy being the vice captain of toman. Your arms were a safe haven, the one place we he truly felt like he could relax and not have to worry about anything. However, when draken was truly feeling stressed about the whole pa-chin thing he would take the anger and worries out on things that didn’t make him angry. Which is how he ended up in the situation he was in. Tears burning your cheeks and eyes red and puffy. Your arms were tightly crossed around your chest as you struggled to get the words out. Draken hated seeing you this way and it pained him even more to know that it was his fault. “Y/n what you overheard was a private conversation with Mikey that I said under an enormous amount of stress and it wasn’t true,” he calmly explained. Your tears momentarily halted as you asked “Are you sure?” in reassurance. Draken didn’t say anything but opened his arms for you. Immediately you ran to his arms as he tightly held you “I’m so sorry, Y/n.”

B a j i

Baji sighed as he rubbed his temples. There was so much going on his life and he just wanted to lay in bed and cuddle with you. But you were angry with him and he couldn’t figure out why. Between you and all his works he felt like he was being torn apart. Sighing heavily he looked up at you “Y/n I need you to tell me what’s wrong otherwise I can’t do anything about it,” Baji stated trying to help the situation. “Im just being less clingy, that’s what you wanted, right?’ you asked in a slightly sarcastic tone of voice. Baji's brows furrowed as he racked his brain for answers, why would you think--- chifuyu . “What did chifuyu tell you?” his anger was bubbling a little more. “chifuyu didn’t tell me anything. I went to the hideout to drop off some food when I heard you telling him I was annoyingly clingy so I left,” you explained. “Y/n, I guess I didn’t realize how much I love your clinginess until you stopped in. Im sorry I love your clinginess,” he sighed while the weight finally lifted from your shoulders. You smiled and opened your arms, missing giving your giant teddy bear of a boyfriend hugs.

M i t s u y a

He stared out the window with a blank look on his face. The image of your sadden expression burning into his mind. It was his fault, really. You guys got into a pretty bad fight and he was just upset over that. While ranting to Draken about you and the whole ordeal he said that you were “overly clingy to the point it was creepy.” What he did not expect was for you to go to draken's place to apologize for the fight, overhearing the comments he made. Your face shown pure agony, his heart breaking more every millisecond. Regret. He felt regret that he didn’t run after you to explain himself. “I'm creepy,,huh?” your voice sounded shattered as you spoke with no emotion. “Y/n,I didn’t mean it like that I was just upset. You’re not creepy and I don’t know why I even said that fuck it ,” Mitsuya said, now the one crying.”I mean at the time I meant it but now that i’ve calmed down I don’t,can you please forgive me? I just didn't know what came over me I'm so sorry” Mitsuya added hopelessly. Your whole body felt tired and like you’d spent the past hours running miles. You knew Mitsuya, that sometimes he said things he didn’t mean. You wrapped your arms around his sitting figure, his head resting in your chest. “Im glad you dont care that I m clingy”

C h i f u y u

Chifuyu stared at the menu as he continued to talk about his relationship. He confided in Takemichi with private and personal problems, and trusted his advice. Sat at a table a few rows back your grip on the coffee mug began to tighten the more he spoke. Sitting across from you, your dear friend watch with a saddened expression. “I thought things between you both were going good?,” she questioned, voice laced with obvious confusion. You didn’t say anything but placed some money on the table and sat up to leave. You couldn’t bare to stay there any longer, hearing the things Chifuyu was saying about you was really hurting you. Once you arrived at your house you laid in bed and quietly wept. After a few hours your phone lit up showing that Chifuyu was calling. Rolling to your side you ignored it, not wanting to talk to him. A few more hours had passed when Chifuyu barges into your house, confused and worried as to why you never answered his calls. “Y/n?,” he called our softly, carefully pushing the bedroom door open. Even in the dark room he could make out your silhouette in the bed. “Hey what’s wrong?,” he asked already knowing something was up. Despite wanting to yell at him you turned over and looked him dead in the eyes “Why are you being so clingy?” Was what you had asked with ill intentions. Immediately he understood your reasons behind not answering the phone. “You weren’t supposed to hear that,” he simply said. You felt the bed dip as he took a seat upon the comfy thing. “Yeah and what else haven’t I heard that I wasn’t supposed to? What else have you been saying?” Chifuyu could tell you were rightfully upset. “Y/n,I did mean it when I say you’re clingy, but If I had a problem with it wouldn’t I have told you? Im a straight up person,” Chifuyu confessed, hands reaching over towards your figure. "But I decided to fuck it up, I'm sorry baby I'm so sorry" It was silent for a moment as you processed his words. Sighing heavily you rolled to face him “Do you promise that it doesn’t bother you severely?’ you questioned earning a nod from Chifuyu. He leaned down a placed a gentle kiss on your cheek “I mean it.”

~

~

That would be all~ I'm so sorry I know I write like shit, besides it's my first time writing something~ #

#Tokyo revengers angst #tokyo revengers x reader #mikey sano #baji x reader #chifuyu imagines #chifuyu x reader #draken x reader #mitsuya x reader #tokyo revengers imagines #tokyo revengers fluff #anime imagines #mikey x reader #manjiro sano x reader

[rinstars]

hey is everything alright??? you kinds disappeared on us. hope everything’s okay

hiiii everyone! everything's fine. now. at the very least, everything is starting to be okay. i'm sorry i disappeared for a while without saying anything or giving u guys updates about why and if i was ever coming back. there's probably a lot of questions you guys have so ill just break it down in a single post, making it easier for u guys to find what you wanna know.

1. what happened and where were u?

thing is, the last time i was here i mentioned something about being sick and that was originally the only time i needed off. i was just waiting to get better and it wasn't supposed to stretch into a month. however, a very unfortunate incident happened where i had to be hospitalized and monitored as i sustained an injury to my already very weak knee. growing up, my right knee has always been very prone to dislocation but it wasnt too serious to the point that i could still join cheerleading and excel in it. it wasnt until i was doing a dance required for one of my classes and my knees knocked and snapped that i fell so hard crying when i realized this time it was.. bad. i had a surgery that wasn't anything too crazy and got put in a cast until i was fully recovered bc simply popping it back to place like they always did stopped working. that, too, was fine. but finding out i'd have to take it easy on dancing and possibly cut off anything that has to do with the hardcore dancing i was used to for the rest of my life to make sure it wouldn't get any worse than it already was literally depressed me and put me in a slump and i just didn't want to answer anyone and tell people all about it yet. especially not on tumblr where i know people were waiting for something ive promised to finish. i was just very out of it and wasn't sure if i was even in the right mindset to ever continue being here at the time. so there's that but now that im able to tell u all about it, it means it's gotten a lot better and u dont have to worry about my knee bc it's healing fine :") im very thankful for all the messages and i read and appreciated all of them. im sorry it took me so long to respond.

2. what's gonna happen to cfm?

the very short answer to this is im not abandoning it and will continue writing the remaining 3 parts! dont worry! you can rest easy. however, ill take this in my own pace. ill work hard to post it in 2 weeks time but it's not a promise and i'm still wrapping my head around my whole knee thing and the start of my semester. but i love the series and it means a lot to me. i want to see it finished probably more than any of u do that's why you can count on the ending that will surely come. i know ive gone so long without updating and idek if any of u will still be reading it when i post it in a few weeks! but it's a risk im willing to take because we're so close to the end! and i am so excited for all of u to see how suna and yn end up living after where i left act x on hehehe

3. im not leaving and im sorry

i feel really horrible leaving u all in the dark for like more than a month now i think. that was a dick move. if an author i follow suddenly disappeared after what happened in act x i wouldve been mad and worried too so im really sorry. i didn't want to ignore any of u. i was just in a place where i didn't feel like moving. thank u to everyone who has been very understanding with me despite not knowing what was happening. to my friends on discord that i wasn't replying to, to all my followers and readers, to everyone who reached out to my friends hoping to know if im doing well, thank u sooo much and i love and appreciate u all so much.

im sorry this got so long but i hope i answered everything! if i missed anything, please just send me more asks, ill be happy to answer them hehe. love u!

#hi #sorry #love u #read it please #mwah