#but then I analyzed. and I understood.

[numbuh424]

Let's talk composition in the jdrama. L is always on the brighter side of the frame while Light is on the darker side.

#I caught it once and never stopped being able to see it like L is just always beneath lights or in front of windows #I was esp astounded by the 1st image the lights are off outside the window behind Light!!! and all the lights are open on L's side!! #*rubs my hands together in glee whenever there's intentionality in the media I consume* #death note #death note jdrama #light yagami #l lawliet #death note drama #you wanna know how I realized this? light starts wearing all black after he meets L #and I got kinda annoyed noticing he's always darker side of the frame cause it's hard to see him in all black #but then I analyzed. and I understood. #the jdrama just loved the black-and-white aesthetic of these two they couldn't get enough of it #in hindsight they definitely focused on this over the red/blue cause in my post about light's outfits I was surprised he wore so little red #much easier for them and also L never changes outfits and couldn't have his wardrobe match his character arc like Light anyway

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:

There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’

like wow babe. good fucking point

#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point #not a shitpost #cptsd #and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer #the truth is i know why i wasn't loved #i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings #i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing #i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance #the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it #i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer #and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!! #because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that! #it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs! #so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't. #when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to #you can look for answers and reasons and explanations #but that's not actually going to FIX your situation. #and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job) #because you don't need answers--you need a new situation #*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme* #and yes. walking out isn't always possible. #but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap. #stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air #new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust #like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be #when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole

[uncanny-tranny]

Another bonus to learning a fiber art is being able to speak to others in a Lovecraftian language that nobody else understands...

...and also being able to read things like THIS:

#art #crochet #fiber art #described images #image description in alt #used a crochet pattern for this because it's just INSANE #see i can recognize some of these stitch markings but i haven't done them all yet #i actually kind of prefer the diagram pattern because it actually shows you the shape and the way stitches compliment the piece #with a 'normal' pattern (e.g. 1 dc in fifth ch from hook ch 2 4 dc) i understand it sure but. it isn't the same. #i was reading somebodys recommendations for tapestry yarn and understood all the abbreviations and what they mean #plus i feel like diagrams can be a great way to teach you not only how stitches look but how they contribute to the larger piece #one of my crochet proficiency goals is to be able to look at a piece and know instantly what made it #*cue me at the store analyzing a crochet piece so i can replicate it for 5× the cost* #if you're selling a crocheted piece for like $20 then it's my imperative to replicate it and not buy it 🫡 #i think that has the same moral implication as like... 'proplifting' #did crochet as the example because thats what i do as a fiber art. if theres a similar thing for knit/weave/ect then DROP IT BELOW I BEG YO #i want to learn all the lovecraftian languages of the fiber artists <3 #i feel like describing the image in exactly what stitch marking indicates what would have been too much so hopefully the explanation as to.. #...what the diagram DOES and how it visually indicates a pattern was helpful <3

[darjeelinh]

Jesper “guard against pain” vs Wylan “guard against joy”

Jesper’s jokester and confident façade was to protect himself from feeling pain, but inside he’s insecure and vulnerable. He hid his grisha nature because the only person who ever treasured it was taken away from him, and grew up being told that it was a curse. So instead he acts like he doesn’t need it. He acts like he takes all the losses and all the hurtful things in good stride but deep inside he’s feeling lost and guilty all the time. That boy is always bouncing on his feet with guilt all the time in the duology. Guilt for disappointing everyone: his father, Kaz, Inej, his mother, and himself. When he thought about Wylan at the end of SOC he thought Wylan wouldn’t want to hang out with criminals like him anymore once he got the money and that had stung more than he thought: it’s the boy inside him feeling abandoned again, the boy that does no good to anyone other than in a fight. And he cope with all that pain, that guilt, with his addiction and his gunslinging - which no one really paid any mind until Wylan saw through his façade.

Wylan, whose joy and hope was taken away from him by his father, was always made to feel less than, shared the same constant feeling of guilt for just being who he is. His father made sure of it, that he knows he’s not allowed to feel anything but anxious and guilt, and his joy was to be choked out of him (metaphorically and literally). Wylan in the show couldn’t even believe when Jesper told him he was smart, thinking it was just a trick to coddle him into some false sense of joy before it would be taken away again. Wylan in the books still holding on to the last shred of decency for his father until that moment at Saint Hilde, instead blaming himself for it, maybe because it would give him a false sense of control over his own pain. Until Jesper saw his own guilt mirrored in Wylan, and helped him to his feet.

Both Jesper and Wylan were able to keep some part of goodness in the face of everything that happened in their lives: Jesper with his good spirits, Wylan with his morals - standing up against Kaz again and again despite being threatened every time. In Jesper, Wylan learned to accept joy again, and that this won’t be taken away from him. And in Wylan, Jesper knew that he has a safe space where he can accept his pain and heal from it in a healthy way.

“You can love something despite seeing all of its flaws.”

Anyway, Wesper is each other’s safe haven.

#i love this part in the show they really understood wylan and jesper by showing each line with their face #does this make any sense im just rambling #anw welcome to my reread of soc and ck every time i pick one of the crows to hyper analyze #this time it’s jesper and wylan #wesper #wylan van eck #jesper fahey #wylan hendriks #six of crows #shadow and bone #shadow and bone season 2 #netflix shadow and bone #sab spoilers #crooked kingdom #sab #soc meta #kit young #jack wolfe #jesper x wylan #the lighting on this part is ATROCIOUS #soc spoilers #ck spoilers

[beedreamscape]

On episode 92, I wish I could listen to the criticism quietly but the sheer amount unables me to sit in silence.

While the turns were a bit long, it definitely didn't drag like people on reddit (and some on tumblr how sad) were raving about. I feel they needed a non-recorded mock game to step back into the technicalities as to decrease the need to describe mechanics and lessen hesitation.

But even then let's cut them some slack, they haven't visited these characters in what two years? And from a TWO-shot! Some of them haven't been in a proper game in a while. Not only a recap was needed, and A chose to do it while in combat, they also needed time to get into the groove of their characters on an emotional level.

And unlike the live one-shots CR does where they can jump into old characters after years with certain ease, CK PCs played a small number of hours as these characters, they need wiggle room to adapt into the mindset.

And I won't even talk about the things they kept saying about how Aabria treated Aimee because it was born from seeded bitterness and hatred they refuse to reflect on. Paired with infantilizing these adult women who are very capable of talking to each other.

Also if one hasn't seen ExU Prime, they wouldn't understand their dynamic. I, on the other hand, understand it on a spiritual level and it changed me forever.

The timing in the campaign is beyond my judgement for a myriad of reasons, but the main ones are my player/people and plot preferences.

I won't say everyone should love ExU Prime or the CK, or that they're a bad person for it. Fair game, I don't love everything they've put out. But it's incredibly unnecessary to make it personal and attack them and spew (or rather reveal) bigoted hate left and right because of a DnD actual play.

#i could psycho/social analyze every shitty and baseless commentary i saw #'why you keep reading them?' i like to gauge reactions and theories. i was away from the moon plot so i needed 'recaps' as well #and I wish I could post this exactly on reddit and be understood. but I know they won't #they're resolute in their hatred and unmovable in their preconceptions #cr fandom rant #cr spoilers #critical role #c3e92

[ratpoizonz]

this isn't even an f anymore for scott this is a see me after class

#fnaf #five nights at freddy's #fnaf 3 #fnaf ffps #ffps #freddy fazbears pizzeria simulator #springtrap #springtrap fnaf #scraptrap #scraptrap fnaf #WHY. WHY WHY WHY #BANGING MY HEAD ON THE DESK #HOW DO YOU GENUINELY FUCK UP THIS BADLY #the more i analyzed this the more i understood the theory that this is a different suit #don't get me started on burntrap i will throw a fit #i couldn't rlly find out if the scraptrap corpse render is official in any way or not btw? do lmk if it isn't 🙏 #aubrey rambles

[mueritos]

an assortment of musings and scribbles...been listening to a lot of blood girl (the first drawing is based off blood girl lyrics), mormor, and moses sumney. been thinking and thinking and thinking....will be back to posting normie and sane shit soon 

(last pic is a baby picture of my twin @fatsmyname and i)

patreon

#muertodraws #digital art #trans art #queer art #introspective art #unless u guys like my introspective art #i feel its a tad different from what i usually do #the last one is me and my twin as babies #ive been going thru a lot to say the least #things have settled now but my brain has a chokehold on me unfortunately #and it will never stop analyzing the hierarchies and dynamics that have been launched at me #the burdens and the baggage of others to carry.... #thanks a lot im already a trans faggot raised by mexican immigrants now i have to shoulder how white people have hurt me #and i have to shoulder how their hurt will forever be examined by myself and never by the people who committed that harm #because they would absolutely destroy themselves before taking accountability #sigh #anyway #all of my friends are brown now and thank fuck #if ur interested in my art i have been posting more regularly on my patreon #been talking to more indigenous and brown people and i feel way more safer and understood by them #spending time with my boyfriend as well #im still in therapy....yea...

[theinfinitedivides]

hmmm. many Thoughts and Feelings about this

#film: jawan #jawan #shah rukh khan #srk #vijay sethupathi #nayanthara #sanya malhotra #priyamani #deepika padukone #bollywood #local gay watches Bollywood.txt #local gay watches Jawan (and spends the entire time filing the various SRK avatars into new DILF categories).txt #the disguise of the bandages matching almost exactly the way we see them wrapped around his father at the beginning of the film #(which he could not know unless he decided to do this as part of a sixth sense. something in the pit of him that understood #even when he did not) #the lion ring since he is Simba and his father is Mufasa/his mother singing to him in prison to remind him of who he is #('you are... a lion') #mother and father still with him in one shot we're ten minutes in and they're laying this on us. i told you i would analyze tf out #of the train arc didn't i

[strawberrybyers]

crazy how when my mom was 22 she was married with two kids. i’m 22 and i’m at home acting like a mental ward escapee over a sci fi horror monster show because i believe at its core it’s a coming-of-age love story between two of the characters

#byler #stranger things #i’ve been analyzing literally all day today #talking to myself and gasping when i discover something #when my mom got home she asked me what i was doing and i had to look her in the eyes and say i’m writing about stranger things… #she thought something was wrong with me bc i wasn’t talking much and i was like i’m focused i can’t converse right now #she knows i’m mentally ill and when i’m focused i can’t have a conversation so she understood and said ok have fun writing goodnight lmaoo #literally when i get hyper fixated on something you can not have a conversation with me #my brain literally won’t allow processing of any information that doesn’t have to do with whatever it is i’m thinking about

[zapsoda]

listening to willie muse talk about this weird evangelical pro life movie and man is it not making its point very well. listen i cant speak for anyone else but "she lives inside of you allison" is a viscerally disgusting phrase to me. i already dont like the idea of colonies of bacteria livingon and inside me no matter how true it is, so the idea that im allison and god (in the form of a janitor only i can see) is telling me theres a Thing much biggger than a bacterium Living Inside of Me i think id fucking vomit

#get outta here #tw pregnancy mention #pregnancy #fascinating being able to analyze certain evangelical beliefs based on this movie #i have a passive interest in theology when it isnt giving me panic attacks so i do very much enjoy that aspect #despite being raised protestant i forget about the whole idea that god is your buddy who you can talk to all the time #cause i never rlly understood that part at all #so seeeing god portrayed as someone the narrator can have full conversations with is fascinating

[seoafin]

i sincerely hope chatgpt is not going to be the death of critical thinking

#tell me why i saw a twt thread on how chaptgpt could make your life easier and all the prompts were along the lines of #'explain this to me like im a eleven year old' #some things you just can't explain in layman's terms!!! some things you just have to put in the effort to understand bc there's no way #to breakdown something complex bc it's made to be understood in its complex entirety #the thing is that the implementation of chatgpt has the potential to be so helpful but it def shouldn't be your end all be all #and you def shouldn't be using it to write your uni papers like learning how to articulate and refine your argument and provide #evidence is like. one of the most important things you can learn in uni. you should be LEARNING! #like we're already struggling out here 😭 learn how to analyze question everything and don't just look to reaffirm your own views #i believe in us!!!! we can do it!!!!!! #mt

[zevranunderstander]

my job in the commune will be being in lesbian-dominated fan spaces and defending the one man everyone hates while trying to explain that this is not at odds with liking all the women in the story. its a thankless job and and its so much work and nobody has to do it, but god, ill do it

#myposts #i made this bc im a diehard shuro defender now i guess #but mainly this is probably about my insistence that john gaius is a way more nuanced character than people make him out to be #in general i haaaate if there is a really complex male character that is characterized as an abusive villain in ONE way #and it becomes the only facette of the character people analyze? because they make the character so 2D in their analysis bc of that #like. father monsignor pruitt you will always be famous. most ppl just saw 2% of your characterization. but i promise u. i understood you

[foxyloueh]

I’m a simple gal. Hearing a 1D member speak about the healing and peace they’ve made following the band years later makes me so full of joy, I can’t help it.

#i think there has been so much blame and assumption tossed around in the fandom #when at the end of the day one direction were kids #they were literally children #decisions made #things said #how stuff played out #all that unable to be understood without the context of these being overworked twenty year old boys #I am glad that all the members have seemingly grown and able to look at and analyze their experience through an an adult lens #anyway #zayn malik

[mars-ipan]

hajime hinata….

#marzi speaks #hi just watched a really good video essay that analyzed him SO well #‘THE Hajime Hinata Character Analysis’ by mooshka on youtube btw. major spoilers of course but yanno #anyways they understood him so WELL #even mentioned the fucking ‘i was born stupid sticker’ and gave thoughts on it that I HAD MYSELF LIKE A COUPLE DAYS AGO #god…. godddd hinata…. fucking. character of all time #HE’S SO….. waaaaauauughh

[thealterscrolls]

copied all of the mythic dawn commentaries into a doc and started annotating it if that says anything about the level of brainrot i’m going through

#got all the uesp pages open to cross reference and everything #i am going to analyze and deconstruct this bitch until all of it is understood #if i finish it maybe i’ll publish my commentaries on the commentaries lol #tes iv: oblivion #mankar camoran #mythic dawn #tas caspian

[darksouls2yuri]

once again pour one out for all my homeschooled brothers in arms we did not get educated properly 🫡

#txt #i entered high school with a maybe 5th grade understanding of math and an extremely skewed and biased view of history #and the only science i understood was biology because i was in charge of what i learned for science and thats all ive ever been interested #and i had never had to analyze literature before everything with my mom 'teaching' was basic grammar shit i had no clue what a metaphor was #or what critical analysis was