#but the word trans doesn't rly feel right??? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

slamminslamminmcgill · 11 months

Note

Do you think you’d be interested in doing a nsfw A-Z for BCS characters but mainly Jimmy😳🥴

ive had this in my drafts for the longest time but this was such a good idea!!! i rly wanna do more prompt type things so i may try to find some more :3

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

jimmy is the sweetest most cuddly loveydovey man you'd ever have the pleasure of banging 🥺🥺�� lots of hugs and kisses and telling you what a great job you did and oh my god you're so gorgeous he could do this every night

saul is not as affectionate but he'll give you some praise. maybe a high five and a "woo! nice job, kid!" if he's feeling silly. unless it's during business hours. then it's "get back to work, mr. squidward."

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

partner - chest. man is a boob fiend. partly why trans men are a guilty pleasure for him bc whether they've had top surgery or not he's fixated on their chests

himself - i actually don't know? maybe his hair. he seems to put a lot of effort into it (even when he starts going better call bald 😔) so i think maybe that. also he loves having it tugged on bc he's a slut

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

facials. dirty boy loves making a mess of you >:3

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

i expanded on this here but basically he's repressing his bisexuality. he would like to have sex with men more often but he can't bring himself to go out and get some dick. again, trans men are a guilty pleasure bc to him they're a compromise. he rationalizes that it's not really gay if he has a pussy (let him have this he's trying)

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

he is VERY sexually experienced with cis women. not at all with anyone else. but he's a quick learner. regardless of what setup anyone has, he'll figure out what makes them tick

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

cowgirl!! ride this baby boy he loves it. he likes it bc he loves having someone push him down and take what they want from him (and also he doesn't have to do as much work which is great for his old man joints 😌)

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

he'll be silly goofy in foreplay, but he gets more serious as things heat up

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

fuzzy wuzzy baby boy 🤗🤗 he may trim a LITTLE if it's getting too wild but never totally shave

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

depends! not at all during his saul era. as jimmy he's more likely to be sweet with you in that way

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

the first time he touched his prostate he screamed and came harder than he ever had before and he's scared to do it again

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

dirty talk!!! he's got a lot to say. he just loves seeing the effect his words have on you and how they can really make the difference between good sex and mindblowing sex

also when he's having sex with other men chances are he's topping, so if they're okay with it he'd be into calling them slurs bc it makes him feel powerful

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

car sex! getting ridden in the driver's seat, his body pressed on top of yours as he fucks you in the backseat, bending you over the hood, he loves it all

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

he's a shameless flirt. he'll go in with STRATEGIC rizz to try to get someone in bed with him, but he CANNOT deal with reciprocation. the second someone shows a crumb of interest in him he fumbles. and if you fire back with sass he'll basically beg you to take him right then and there

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

he cannot take extreme pain. he's curious about masochism and likes getting slapped/spanked and having his hair pulled but he's not into anything that would bruise. he's sensitive :( also he likes choking his partner but he doesn't like getting choked himself

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

absolutely loves receiving it!! he loves having his balls licked ehehe they're sensitive

loves giving it too BUT if it's not a cis woman's pussy he's in the trenches. the first time he saw a t-dick he was stunned. but, being the man of reason that he is, he figured "well! that looks like a little dick. can i suck it?" and immediately tested his theory and fell in love with t-dicks

when it comes to amab dicks? he's trash. he cannot suck dick to save his life. no lips and too bad of a gag reflex ☹️

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

tends to be on the faster/rougher side. slow and sensual is only if he's in a long term relationship with someone (or if he's subbing and needs his partner to be gentle)

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

man CANONICALLY gets blown in his office during the work day. he loves em

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

see above.

also! generally yeah. i think he's in the camp of "don't knock it til you try it" so he'd be down to try almost anything once

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

old man. he can maybe nut once or twice before he taps out. but he'll always make sure his partner's taken care of

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

YES i think he'd have a pretty decent arsenal. he's got a couple vibrators for partners and some cock rings/sleeves for himself. for either he's probably got a ballgag and a blindfold and he's definitely the type to own a pair of those cheap fuzzy handcuffs.

also i can't get this idea out of my head of him trying to talk himself out of it but finally cracking, buying a buttplug, and then never trying it out because he's scared 😭

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

if i have to answer this question im logging off y'allready KNOW

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

jimmy's a whiny bitch and he's LOUD!!!!! saul does a better job of keeping it down (he actually tries to stifle himself a bit bc he doesn't wanna show feelings teehee send this man to therapy)

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

he has a piss kink. cope.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

abt 5.5 inches, fat, uncut, big juicy buals

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

i think pretty high! mentally he's always down but he got old man dick (canonically takes viagra 💀) so he can't go as much as he'd like

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

after a particularly intense round he'll conk out almost instantly. but most of the time he's down for cuddling and pillow talk

64 notes · View notes

wander-over-the-words · 5 months

Note

for that ask game: 🏳️‍🌈 for nick valentine and benny :3

send me a 🏳️‍🌈 and a character name and ill share my gender/sexuality headcanon for them Nick:

Nick is asexual!! He has zero interest in that area. Does not want any. Incorrect buzzer noise. It was one of his (MANY) concerns when it came to getting with Nate, but fortunately for him Nate is ace too so he just "Nick you have no idea how okay that is like seriously"

He himself does not know what he Likes romantically. He's always liked ladies, but y'know. Nate's a man. He's the first man Nick's looked twice at. So Nick doesn't know if Nate has Awakened Something in him or if Nate is just an Exception for some reason. Doesn't rly matter to him either way, and he doesn't rly care to think on it cause he's with Nate for the long run so. who cares y'know c:

Nick identified as a man at first cause the Old Nick did. I imagine one of the first things he did when trying to separate his identity from the Old Nick's was taking a moment to think on it, but he was content to still identify as a man, so. nothing new there. He was built without gender in mind like any other pre-Gen 3 synth so. he's genderless but identifies as a man. He's a man. A metal man.

Benny:

SOMEBODY CALL UP THE FOUR SEASONS CAUSE THIS IS A BI BI BABY. Tragedy: game where you can canonically be bi can't see when it has a Massive Bisexual as one of its main characters smh. He has a preference for ladies, but he is a BI MAN. I've said it before, I'll say it again: the reason the male courier can't fuck him is that he didn't feel like having gay sex that day. Had gay sex yesterday. Ask him tomorrow, see how he feels.

Benny is the most Cisgendered Man I have ever seen. I 10000000% respect anybody who sees him as trans or nb, but personally. He Is the Most Cisgendered Man I Have Ever Seen. To the point that I've always headcanoned him as. hilariously ignorant to stuff like gender.

Not prejudiced in the slightest and like. he knows who/what trans people are. he's met and slept with trans people. He just doesn't know the Ins and Outs of it. Like he's asked Ethan how come he has a moustache and where his charlies went. Has a "you can do that???" response. stuff just blows his mind in a good way. his baby's a badass cause he got his charlies cut off by a Mr. Handy INTENTIONALLY. he PAID for it. he stabs himself with a NEEDLE on a REGULAR BASIS just so he can have a MOUSTACHE AND DEEPER VOICE AND STUFF. you WISH your baby was that badass.

He's accidentally said insensitive things, like asking Ethan what his "girl name" was or wording it "used to be a broad" (I know some trans people are cool with that but Ethan is not). but to his credit he genuinely doesn't mean any harm. he's an asshole but not that much of an asshole. just uneducated (and a little stupid). He's learning. he doesn't understand what dysphoria is but he'd physically fight someone for causing Ethan to have a dysphoric episode. someone says Ethan "throws like a girl" and Benny's sitting there like >:O!!! even tho Ethan doesn't find that offensive in the slightest (hell, he'll agree with it). Ethan shows him a childhood pic and Benny just "baby that's not you?? that's a girl." and Ethan just Stares until Benny has his "oh. right." moment. any involvement Benny has with the topic of trans makes Ethan look at the camera like "he's a little confused but he's got the spirit."

He'll shoot ya in the head but Goddamn will he respect your pronouns and gender identity.

(for added hilarity: Benny's the only Chairman who's Like That.

Swank vc: get woke Benny.)

#reply #answering #thanks for sending this in!!#Headcanon Hell #Benny Gecko #Nick Valentine #Benny/Ethan #Nate/Nick #to be clear Ethan wouldn't be offended by Benny's confusion at his childhood pic. he'd find it hilarious.#just ''did..did you forget I'm trans???'' it's okay Benny he knew you were stupid when he got into this relationship. he thinks it's cute.#Benny x Courier #Nick Valentine x Sole Survivor

23 notes · View notes

trans-axolotl · 2 years

Note

i am so sorry if this is the most ignorant shit you’ve ever heard—that long post about how the trans community isn’t inherently safe for intersex ppl—can you outline the harmful, like, ideas? phrases? intersexist talking points that you’re referencing? again i’m rly sorry, for some reason your intersex questions tag won’t show up for me but if you’re willing i’d love to maybe know what phrases or words i should look for to call ppl out on. obviously feel free to tell me to eat shit. i appreciate ur time thank you v much

you're totally fine anon, I'm usually open to most questions when I can tell that people have good intentions :)

So I'm gonna list out a lot of shit but I do want to clarify that it's not only trans people who do this stuff; cis people are horribly intersexist as well. I'm just going to be talking about some specific intersexist things I see more often in trans spaces and also because my audience online is a lot of trans people.

A huge thing is I see a lot of trans people saying that they "want to be intersex" or "wish they had an intersex body." This is an issue for a lot of reasons, because it feels fetishistic, is ignorant of what intersex actually is, ignores the fact that being intersex means you're going to face a lot of oppression, and generally contributes to stereotypes that intersex is like some mythical third sex where you perfectly have a mix of all your characteristics in a gender-affirming way.

Faking being intersex. I haven't seen this shit as much online in a while but this honestly was a kind of big issue in some of my online circles like 5 years back and I still see it popping up every now and then. I don't think I need to explain why this is bad.

Literally just using slurs. I see wayyy more dyadic trans people than I should saying "hermaphrodite" when that is not a slur that dyadic trans people can ever reclaim.

Saying stuff about "AFAB bodies" or "AMAB bodies" or generally talking about sex assigned at birth and assuming that means people have certain body parts or experiences. Not all people who were AFAB have a uterus, not all people who were AMAB have a penis. Generally, I see a lot of trans people making generalizations about the "transmasc or transfem experience" in a way that doesn't leave room for intersex trans people who have different experiences with transition or different ways of understanding their trans identity. Acting like AGAB tells you anything more than what is assigned at birth is a problem, because it excludes intersex people who have different bodies, sex characteristics, lived experiences, all that.

Saying really harmful shit about our bodies, whether that's about body hair or genitalia or our voices, or anything. I've had a lot of dyadic trans people say weird shit to me that I think they think is complimenting me but is just really fucked up. People make weird offensive comments about my body hair and will just say a lot of invasive stuff about my body that is not their business. Asking invasive questions about my genitalia, demanding to know what's in my pants, that sort of stuff.

Specifically harassing a lot of intersex people of color and saying racist shit to them when they speak about intersex topics. This is something I've seen a lot irl and also on tumblr, and people specifically have targeted intersex poc on here and said really racist shit to them if they call people out for saying intersexist stuff.

Getting involved in intracommunity discussions about whether or not intersex is LGBTQ and ignoring intersex people when we speak on it. Our relationship to the LGBTQ community is intersex people's business and we all have a lot of different thoughts on it, and too many trans people speak over us on that.

On the flip side, always leaving us out of conversations where we are relevant (like reproductive rights, lgbtq bills, some types of discrimination, medical abuse, stuff like that)

Only bringing up intersex people when they're arguing with transphobes. Way too often i only see people bringing up intersex issues when its like "Take that transphobes! People with XXY chromosomes exist so you're wrong!" And it's like yeah, that's true, but it's shitty when y'all only bring us up when we're a convenient talking point and then don't know shit about what our activism is, what issues are important to us. It feels exploitative to only use our issues when convenient for you and then not pay attention to us the rest of the time.

Currently a lot of people are ignoring the way transphobic bills are also intersexist. People don't realize that all the things they're saying about "It's so easy for cis kids to get hormones, why is it so easy for cis kids but it's hard for trans kids!!!" is ignoring the fact that most of the cis kids who are "easily" getting hormones are intersex kids who are put on hormones in a way that is often coercive and is trying to "cure" being intersex. All these transphobic bills have specific exceptions to enable intersex medical abuse and it isn't cis people being lucky, it's intersex people being abused.

In general, trans community will ignore intersex exploitation when it's convenient. This one I'm less mad about because I don't think that even a lot of intersex people know this, but the history of how gender-affirming surgery and transgender clinics have been created in the US is really not great. Like obviously gender-affirming surgery is great and I want gender clinics to exist and trans healthcare to be easily accessible, but a lot of transgender healthcare was borne out of intersex medical exploitation. Look up John Money and the John Hopkins Gender Identity Clinic for a particularly bad example. This isn't trans people's fault at all, of course, but what is an issue is when I see trans people unquestionably celebrating doctors who invented trans surgeries, or celebrating the birth of gender clinics without critically understanding the horrible history some of these places have.

Acting like being intersex makes it easier to be trans, or would make it easier to get hormones or be respected by cis people. Most of the trans and intersex people I know have gone through so much shit. I went through hormonal conversion therapy because i was trans and intersex, which was literally so fucked. Because I was both trans and intersex, they did a lot of fucked up medical abuse to try to turn me cis and dyadic, and it did not make medical transition at all easier, it made it harder. That's why it can hurt so much when trans people say that being intersex makes being trans easier, because it fucking doesn't.

Also, I've seen a lot of dyadic trans people lately acting really hostile towards intersex organizations that are advocating for an end to intersex surgery because they think it's going to limit access to trans surgery. Dyadic trans people do not get to fucking say that we should stop advocating for ending intersex genital mutilation because it's "not the right time politically." It's always fucking necessary to be advocating to end IGM, and if there was a specific issue with a specific policy that intersex orgs were advocating for that would make it difficult for trans people to get surgery, that would be important to bring up, but most people I've seen saying that stuff are just saying that we shouldn't talk about it at all.

Not educating themselves on intersex issues. Most trans people I know have no clue what intersex is, what our major activist issues are, what the major intersex org for their country is, what the legal landscape of intersex rights is in their country, stuff like that. I'm not saying that trans people all have to be experts on specific intersex intracommunity debates, intersex history, intersex politics, but I do think that dyadic trans people do need to do the bare minimum of education.

Honestly? This is a little more personal but I know so many intersex people who have had bad experiences in their relationships. A lot of dyadic trans people can get weirdly jealous of their intersex partners, which is fucked up when you consider the fact that the things they are jealous of are things that cause us systematic exploitation and abuse. I know a lot of dyadic trans people who also just...trying to think of how to put this. Who are really not considerate partners during sex for some unique needs that intersex people have during sex. Again not a issue unique to trans people but something that I know happens in like most intersex people's relationships so it's good for trans people to be aware.

In general, the way a lot of trans people talk about and think about biological sex is counterproductive to intersex justice. Biological sex is a social construct. Sex isn't real, in terms of there's no reason sex is tied to gender, and also no reason that we've decided some body parts are now all linked together in a specific way that for some reason is going to be sorted into two categories. Chromosomes and genitalia are not some special body part that is entirely different than like, your kidney or your stomach. Biological sex is not real and the sex binary is not real and I see a lot of people talking about stuff like "male" or "female" is a real category that means anything. There is so much diversity and variation of sex even within dyadic people, and I see a lot of trans people clinging to biological sex in a way that is really apparent and also pretty harmful.

This got kind of long but these are some things that really bother me. I also left out most of the overt stuff like actual hate crimes and assault because I think that most people can recognize that as intersexist when that's happening. Again, I don't want to make it seem like it's only trans people doing this shit, but this is the stuff that I am seeing a lot specifically in trans community and some stuff that has some unique dynamics from trans people. And I think that trans people a lot of times will say things about "how close our two communities are" and "how much our issues overlap" when in reality they don't, and most dyadic trans people aren't putting in the work to build solidarity with trans intersex people. Cis intersex people also aren't putting in the work to build solidarity with trans people either, to be fair, and I'm really mad at them too, but I'm talking about this from the perspective of a trans intersex person who's already existing here in these spaces. other trans and intersex people feel free to add on.

okay to reblog.

#asks #actuallyintersex #intersex #trans #okay to reblog #again i dont want you all to feel like im shitting only on trans people #but this is the shit im experiecning in trans community in very particular ways #i could also make a long post with all the htings i hate about cis people and their intersexist stuff #but they don't follow me on tumblr lmao so what's the point.#also cis intersex people i kind of dont want u to jump onto this post #bc half of you all are transphobic in a way that im like i dont trust u

317 notes · View notes

possibilistfanfiction · 1 year

Note

"the neoliberal rhetoric of the pronoun (ESPECIALLY in english) as the ultimate form of advocacy" -- it's such a relief to hear your take on ava's thoughts on pronouns bc i've always been frustrated by how limiting they are? how much stress they cause? i know pronouns are important for some folks but also we're so much more than that...

whew like ok i work in dei, mostly for youth (sport, schools, etc) but also doing lgbtq 101 workshops for upper level execs who run big sports orgs, school districts, blah blah, & it's like... people really think that getting someone's pronouns right (or even trying to get someone's pronouns right) is like........ you have done it! u are not transphobic! u understand the nuances of everyone's gender if you use the right pronoun!

& like... i get paid a fair amount of money to lowkey sell out & explain what a pronoun is (lol) but at the same time it is the fucking bane of my existence. i personally hate pronouns. i think they are legitimately so stupid lol. like... to distill the vast nuanced experience of both having a gender identity AND being perceived at all times as a gendered being (which sometimes match & sometimes don't) into a PRONOUN is just baffling to me.

i think cis people (especially those who don't really want to do the work needed to understand what abolition means -- how queerness & especially gender expansive trans identities are a crucial part of the intersection of where that ethic is rooted) just see pronouns as a sort of easy way out. like you're cool with trans people if you can remember someone's they/them pronouns. it's so gross & so deeply tried up in representational politics (diverse oppressors are still oppressors, white supremacy can be present in ethic & politic even without a white person in the room, etc).

& of course like you said pronouns are definitely important to some people (it is always nice to feel seen & respected at the most basic level 🤪) & definitely not at all saying that anyone should like get people's pronouns wrong, obviously, but i just really hate the concept of how my entire experience as a dyke & a person in general has to be reflected to the world at all times in a silly word which is so vastly incomplete. & i genuinely (not anyone's fault!) hate how that can get tied up in my writing, especially my writing about queerness. when ppl rly care abt terms & IDs etc i can understand bc the common messaging is all rooted in neoliberalism & "representation" instead of anti-state resistance, etc, so it's like. okay lol. but i am intentional in the way i write queerness bc of my own ethic & politic, so you know

ANYWAY yes. queerness & transness is so deeply expansive, to make it only about (or mostly about) pronouns is, to me, ethically against what queerness & transness really is, especially if those pronouns are mostly talked about in the context of english. & i would be remiss in saying that using non-normative &/or neopronouns is a privilege rooted in safety. often i don't disclose they/them pronouns bc i just don't want to explain myself, & i deeply do not care, but i'm always protected in a lot of ways by my whiteness (& that i'm educated, able-bodied, cis-passing, employed, etc etc etc). for a lot of people, for a lot of reasons, pronouns aren't safe. being out as trans isn't safe. but that doesn't mean their gender identities are any different or less important or less vital.

so yah ur right sorry this is a rant lmfao & once & for all.... ava is the most anti-state anti-institution character lmao. she genuinely would not give a flying fuck about her own pronouns. god doesn't fit into a pronoun anyway :)

#this is so much sorry but there's been so many weird asks really wanting to like #define ava's gender so deeply ??#& i try to write queerness thoughtfully & precisely & with purpose so #it's like a part of what i believe as a person outside of / beyond fic blah blah #anon u are RIGHT i AGREE lol

47 notes · View notes

gayday · 6 months

Note

hey, that’s a really rude thing to say about medical transitioning. you have a say in what happens to your body, but you don’t get to call it gross when someone makes a different decision. how would you feel if someone called you gross for NOT having certain surgeries? asking for people to stop making art of it is beyond insulting, art depicts people as they exist. real people exist with top surgery scars. not only is it mean, it also recycles rhetoric that prevents ALL trans people from existing. nobody is glorifying medical transition, it’s only getting harder. if you want more representation of non-medically transitioning trans people, you can say that without dragging down your peers

thats not rly what i mean and it was more off a personal vent than anything so sorry it came off as some kind of attack, thats my fault i was gonna delete it cuz i know i worded it bad but i forgor but whatever ill share my thoughts

i don't like that medical transition is held on this pedestal to be "the only way" and those who don't want it are just an afterthought. It makes me feel alienated by not feeling comfortable with it, i don't like people who treat it like some intrinsic part of being trans, treating it like it's not something thats hard to get!!!!!

just because it's far from glorified in the wider world, doesn't mean it can't be glorified within smaller communities IE online transgender spaces

im not calling people gross for wanting it, idk rly what i was thinking but i think i meant more like, its gross and weird to me when people act like surgeries and medication are the only way to go. + i can think something is gross but that doesn't mean other people can't want it

im not rly asking people to stop drawing it, i know my opinion on it means dogshit nothing, more just an annoyance in that i dislike when people put surgery scars on a character with 0 consideration for what that means and how it affects them, like treating it like its just an accessory to mark a character as "trans"

im not telling people what to do, im telling people to stop telling/pressuring others what to do, even if its subconscious it holds weight, every meme and drawing that implies all trans men get top surgery or use testosterone has an effect

i can have my own opinion and feelings and it's not "preventing trans people from existing", it's about it making people think they should feel bad if it's difficult for them to get and makes them feel bad for not fitting the rest of their group instead of being free to do what they want.

I think it just causes unnecessary grief when you don't encourage people to think twice about what they really want for their transition.

+ i have irl legit trauma with this topic and it makes me feel kinda sick and disgusted so sorry bout not disclosing my trauma when i went to make a personal vent post at 3am

sry i wrote an essay i had a lot to say and didn't want to leave too much room for misinterpretation but there probably still will be cuz im shit at words, just try to look on the surface and not be too pedantic cuz im stupid and don't have the time or brain power to think of a counter argument based on every word in this right now.

#if ur the person i think i remember u r didn't u go on T at like 13

13 notes · View notes

menalez · 5 months

Note

hope this isn't a bad time, on anon bc crypto but i am SUFFERING and idk who to turn to atm. right now one of my best friends is a nonbinary tif (she's an angel, her gender identity isn't too obstructive) and is like....considering transition in the future. but she's so close to peaking she literally confessed to me 2 weeks ago that she'd be completely happy with her body if men didn't sexualize her (and society wasn't so cruel to "afabs", her words), and she actively wishes she could just be a woman without feeling terrified of what her body would "cause" men to do......and THEN after all that said she was sure she was just born trans and this is the way it is, and still considers herself a man. i felt like i was going to pass out from stress likeeee what IS this.......i'm just so scared for her because i rly rly don't want her to transition, she said herself she's unsure because she doesn't really want to stop being a woman (shes "genderfluid") and binding makes her uncomfortable bc she doesn't want to lose her breasts...but like if i say pls don't transition or if i question her identity itll blow my cover immediately. she's already so traumatized i'm just so scared of her making things even worse for herself

but u know this friend well enough, do u rly think simply pointing out what was said in the past about it and asking about that would suddenly create wariness around u? bc that sounds quite extreme to me. ive been frank with the people i care about about this and made it clear that if its what they want then thats their choice yknow and it doesnt change how i feel about them, but bring up that theyve stated they feel xyz in the past and that theres so many people who transition and then realise thats not what they wanted and it can be pretty tough to cope w never got any bad reactions, for me. idk maybe i dont know people extremist enough about it but when ive said that, where i was coming from has always been clear so .. i reckon thats the case for friends in general right?

2 notes · View notes

lucky-clover-gazette · 2 years

Text

this is about the handmaid's tale

if you don't want to hear about the handmaid's tale, or think it's useless literature or not worth mentioning because of its failings, just move on from this post and find something else that speaks to you

that said

the handmaid's tale does have value. it does. genuine question - have you read it, and/or the recently published sequel the testaments? what do you know about them? there are issues with both, as with any media with any substance, but tht is a relevant satire and its sequel is atwood's attempt to write something NON defeatist in the same world.

intersectionality is important and the handmaid's tale does have a main character who is a white, straight, privleged afab person pre-gilead. june is that, yes. however, there is a LARGE cast of afab people designated handmaids and others who are actually allies to gilead, and their stories, races, sexualities, and socioeconomic backgrounds are all very different. personally when i read the book i saw myself in june's friend moira, who is a lesbian but is forced into sex work with powerful men because she wasn't compliant as a handmaid, and fellow handmaid ofglen, who is punished for falling in love with another women working at the house where she is a handmaid. to suggest that the book is just for and about straight women, at least, is fucking absurd.

i'm not going to go over an Intersectionality Laundry List of the boxes each character checks, because honestly i think it's performative bullshit that prevents important stories from doing their jobs, and i doubt i'm changing someone's mind by doing so. if you don't want to care about anything i'm saying, you're completely entitled to that, especially if you feel the story doesn't resonate with you. but the story is NOT just for straight white privileged women to get off on their own suffering, and to portray it as such at a time where women are processing these events in the best ways they can, is... i mean, come on. especially in their comment sections, where countless pro-life idiots are probably already attacking them if they've gotten any kind of attention.

hell, and atwood is even trying to make a point about women who side with gilead through characters like serena joy and aunt lydia, who are both privileged white women who are never framed in a way that asks for the reader's empathy--in fact, the opposite. serena is almost a greater betrayal to women's rights than the men in charge of gilead, and she is far more brutal to offred our main character. that's saying something about people like amy coney barrett, and if we just write off this book as a pity piece for the white women who see themselves in offred it's honestly a disservice to other characters' roles in the story. it has so much to say and goes even deeper in the show, sometimes in ways i personally didn't even like, so don't think i'm a total apologist for the whole thing. in fact, i'm kind of cold towards atwood now, because while she seems not to be actively wishing harm to trans folks the way jkr is, she also seems not to really care about advocating for trans people. but handmaid's tale doesn't equal atwood, and it's such a cultural cornerstone at this point that it's unreasonable to expect any person who cites it to have a thorough timeline of everything problematic about the story and author.

anyway, in the books and show -- each handmaid that's given any kind of backstory is different, but they are united by one thing: being oppressed by a christofascist society. kiiinda like real life, right now. it's very relevant to EVERY afab person's potential future and does a good job of showing what a christofascist state looks like. when i saw that term for the FIRST TIME EVER yesterday i immediately was like, "oh, that's gilead." probably a lot of people had the same thought process, just by being somewhat exposed to literature and popular media.

i just think it would be rly nice if people stopped shutting down others who are trying to put into words what they fear for their own futures the best way they can, relating to popular media. it's not helpful and it feels, at least to me, like yet another straw of "shut up women" to add onto the camel's back. you don't have to like or reference tht or find value in it as a feminist piece of literature, but i would love to see fewer tweets belittling the analogies people are making in their shock or people directly replying to tweets like "well actually," especially if the person being critical isn't afab.

i'm not advocating for the handmaid's tale to be the pinnacle of feminist literature at all, but you have to acknowledge that to a lot of afab people of ALL races and sexualities and socioeconomic statuses, especially those older than gen z, it has been for the majority of their lives. let them hurt and explore that hurt. be kind. we're all so fucking pissed and hurt and tired right now.

or don't, but i've said my piece and it felt good to get out

(also it's not lost on me that tht is written by a woman and i don't see nearly as much "well actually"ing about male authors' literature that is commonly mentioned in progressive social justice-adjacent spaces)

(and yeah it's corny for people to cosplay handmaid's i'm pretty sure margaret atwood is cringing too)

#the handmaid's tale #tht #margaret atwood

6 notes · View notes

amporella · 2 years

Note

ugh i rly liked rwt until she started posting the r slur, n slur, f slur and talking about how she wants trans/gay rights revoked so we're all as miserable as her. as a mentally ill trans man it made me uncomfortable and i had to block. i know she's not mentally stable but it doesn't excuse what she did, and it's horrific. rly hope she gets the help she needs

Ugh, yeah - the things she said were absolutely revolting and quite obviously coming from someone who was extremely mentally ill. I had unfollowed her before she REALLY started going downhill just due to her general nihilistic comments, which really bothered me; I have an extreme distaste for nihilism as a philosophy and all of its accompanying tenets, and I didn't want to keep following someone whose posts made me a little sad every time they came up. I had a bad feeling about her starting around that time, but I didn't expect her to go THAT far down the rabbit hole of bigotry. You're totally right in that her obvious mental illness doesn't excuse what she did, and frankly, if she WAS deleted by tumblr, it was the right decision. The obvious internal turmoil she was going through wasn't under any circumstances an excuse for her behavior. I find it legitimately difficult to muster up any sympathy for her (or anyone else who posts the n word under any circumstances as a white person, lol), but I do hope that she changes her ways, if only for the people who she obviously affected and hurt with her posts.

Thanks for the ask, and I hope you're feeling better <3 I'm sorry you had to see all of that.

#asks #legitimately though. fuck nihilism #it leads to nothing good!#rwt

3 notes · View notes

ketunperse · 5 years

Text

Hi, is it normal for girls to hate being called a girl/woman and cringe at the mention of their legal name and daydream about having a flat chest and narrow hips and going on hormones and growing a beard every single day of the year? Asking for myself.

Cuz this applies to me but I still feel like I’m faking it. Like this is just a normal thing that girls do and it doesn’t make me not cis.

#bluh bluh #i don't like calling myself trans cuz it feels like i'm wrongfully claiming a word/an identity that doesn't belong to me #even tho i've felt that i'm agender for like... 5 years now #and every time i see a trans man who is on hrt i'm like 'i'm happy for you and also god i wish that were me'#'god i wish i could do that some day'#i experience gender dysphoria to a certain degree #or i mean yea i definitely do #but even more than that i feel gender euphoria when i manage to look like a not-girl #but i feel that i can't call myself trans cuz i'm not rly binary and i don't feel like:#'Yes I am definitely a Man and I've felt that way since I was a fetus and I will die if I don't medically transition right this second'#and also cuz i'm pre-transition in all other ways except for hair and wardrobe changes #so it feels like... no matter how i think i feel about my gender i'm rly just a girl who is faking it #this is not a rhetorical question i'm looking for replies

8 notes · View notes

dog-teeth · 4 years

Note

ok so it's so I've been through trying to identify as transmasc it really resonated with me but not anymore. nonbinary doesn't feel quite right either and-maybe that sounds silly-but I don't like how agender flag looks qq. it's kinda ugly, although I do ID as agender for now. but nobody will see me as such. the biggest problem is that my native language doesn't have genderless first person so I constantly have to use he/she unless I wanna sound dumb and use a neutral form which doesn't rly exist

firstly lmao i feel u with the flag thing i know its not actually important but i think both the nonbinary flag and the genderqueer flag are BUTT UGLY so i was rly happy when i started IDing as genderfluid that the genderfluid flag looks nice, though i still usually prefer to use the trans flag, and you can too if you want! imo the trans flag is the most perfect flag design like it just rules. anyways im getting off topic.

i would say don’t feel pressured to label yourself! if its causing you discomfort, just remember you don’t have to put words to how you feel, labels are just a tool and if they aren’t helpful to you right now, you don’t have to use them. you can also try out as many labels as you want and experiment as much as you need to. you can use multiple labels at a time, or no labels if you want to. language is just a tool for pointing to feelings, but it never truly encapsulates a feeling or a being.

i also understand the difficulty with language, that really sucks! i’m sorry. when i speak spanish and italian i have to use gendered pronouns and i dislike that. however, some languages are adapting to include gender neutral languages, like some people use ‘elle’ in spanish as opposed to ello/ella, using ‘e’ at the end of words relating to the gender neutral person instead of o/a. and in english, singular they has existed for a long time but in recent times its become much more common! maybe something like that is happening or could happen in your language? but even if not, i know it sucks to be misgendered, but just remember that using gendered language does not have to invalidate your identity, lots of nonbinary people use he/she pronouns in english too. if it makes you dysphoric then thats definitely a problem and i’m very sorry, but maybe it would help to remind yourself that pronouns do not equal gender, and you can be a gender neutral person even without gender neutral language, even if it makes communicating socially more difficult.

#ez answers #gender stuff #advice #Anonymous

45 notes · View notes

astratic · 5 years

Text

Nonbinary Jon Archivist post

Been meaning to write up some headcanons........ Here they are

Jon is incredibly stubborn and avoids acknowledging or addressing his dysphoria in any way whatsoever for as long as possible but WHEN HE DOES he throws himself absolutely headlong into doing obsessive and meticulous research on gender theory, reading academic papers and blogs and memoirs and basically anything he can get his grubby little hands on related to trans stuff

He doesn't have strong feelings about pronouns. Neutral pronouns could be validating, but just insofar as people using them are actively acknowledging his identity. He doesn't care about the word itself and mostly thinks that trying to switch would stress him out and be pointless

He does not know Martin is trans and when he comes out to him Martin says something about solidarity and he's like ????????? and Martin is just flabbergasted cuz it's not like he makes an effort to hide it?????? He was just complaining about being misgendered the other day???????????? Jon is not good at putting these kinds of clues together.

Jon has always had Issues with men bc of his dysphoria. He always felt kind of alien and wrong among them and was more comfortable around women. He had a hard time coming to terms with being bi for this reason and felt a lot of hostility toward men in general bc of his feelings of alienation. He gets along better with men after he realizes he's sort of not one.

Idk what kind of fucking around with gender presentation he would do. He probably wore eyeliner a little during his halfway-goth phase and he liked it but didn't rly know why. Other than that he definitely has no desire whatsoever to wear makeup…he'd feel clownish and also it's a bad texture (he's worn stage makeup before. In theatre). Martin always wears sparkly nail polish and Jon has Some Kind Of Emotion about it, but he doesn't know what. It's probably just annoyance, right? He's just annoyed with Martin and his penchant for frivolous and unprofessional things like glittery nail polish. He is NOT jealous.

He might like the idea of wearing skirts but I don't know that he would ever actually bring himself to go out in public in one. Jon is…………. Extremely repressed. Maybe Georgie gets him to try on some of her clothes when he comes out to her tho (being the same size as your gf is convenient) and that's fun. He likes long swishy skirts…. They're stimmy.

A lot of his grief about his gender stems from the fact that he's like, panicking about being inhuman and is this another thing that he's losing a grip on? If he admits he's not a man is he losing some essential part of himself that makes him Jon? Then he thinks probably that's stupid cuz he's never felt any kind of way about his gender in the first place really so why is he getting all in his head about it now? (It's cuz Jon is all in his head about literally everything all the time)

He's afraid that maybe his dysphoria is an avatar thing until he reads a memoir where the author talks about looking back on their childhood and seeing the beginnings of transness in their young self and Jon kinda thinks back to his own childhood of feeling helplessly Angry every time someone forced him to do something uncomfortable and arbitrary because He's A Boy, and being Angry at his grandmother for never having his back, and being just. Angry. (He wonders when he lost that anger and it subsided into quiet conformity. He can't really remember).

It makes him feel better though and he realizes that maybe this is the most Jon he's been in a long time, and then once he decides that he kinda leaps into it….. he's still not loud about being nonbinary and he doesn't have much desire to be obviously gnc insofar as dipping into femininity goes BUT he takes a lot of solace in it I think and changing the way he categorizes himself really alters his attitude toward men…. He's not so resentful anymore and feels better about his attraction to them. He spends a lot of time thinking about gender politics and stuff and it's??? Comforting????

Somehow he knows that this is purely human. Entities don't have time for gender identity or politics. Jon realizes that embracing his nb identity is a pretty crucial step in reclaiming his humanity, since his dysphoria makes him feel so alienated from himself

#journal entry #tma #jonathan sims #the magnus archives #jon #dysphoria

421 notes · View notes

jindoelf · 4 years

Text

200404 Eunhyuk Online Birthday Party (full trans)

https://youtu.be/wKfjaJyzplQ

🎁은혁이와 함께 온라인 생일파티🎁 (HAPPY BIRTHDAY EUNHYUK)

hyukjae says he is at shindong's studio haha the one shindong usually does shindongdaengdong

ded omg they are making hyukjae make the dalgona coffee

hyukjae barely started to whisk and he says he is almost done LOL SURE BB

Hyukjae says he will call the members and if they manages to say certain words, he will pass on to the manager to whisk

the words the members have to say is "saranghae" and hyukjae was like...'which members will say 'saranghae' to me?'

hyukjae just needs to call donghae lol simple

OMG LOL HE CALLED HEECHUL AND HEECHUL SAID HE WANTED TO CALL HIM TO CONGRATULATE HIM AND HEECHUL SAID I LOVE YOU 😂 so its a succes

hyukjae is gonna continue to call the members

He is gonna call yesung and yesung has to curse at him in order for it to be a succes

hyukjae is making shindong decide the words donghae has to say and shindong said 'lee donghaek' but hyukjae suggested 'onyongnyongnyongnyong'

donghae singing happy birthday my e oppa

Donghae did the onyongnyongnyong but he was late so he failed. Then hyukjae said why are you always late then donghae said he is not! then hyukjae was like why cant you catch up with me??? then donghae said dont you know we have to keep a distance now due to corona???

Apparently donghae went to buy presents for hyukjae at the same place hyukjae went to buy presents for his mom and they were there at the same place but they didnt know

DONGHAE GAVE HYUKJAE THE SAME SWEATSHIRT HE IS WEARING AND THEN HYUKJAE DIED AND DONGHAE SAID 'WE ARE A COUPLE WE HAVE TO WEAR COUPLE STUFF'

DONGHAE GAVE HIM THE SAME PAIR OF SHOES HE IS WEARING HELP AHHAHA DONGHAE IS LEGIT PLAYINGF IT UP

(teukables)

Donghae and his random youtube videos.... not considered as youtuber to Hyuk?

Omg he knows how to do the put hand behind item to let the camera focus on it thingy!!

Donghae's birthday

Hyuk: It's my birthday, why do I have to do this (making dalgona coffee)?

elfs asked him to speak nearer to the mic so he’s like “then you have to give up either one. it’s either my face or my voice”

he's asking how long he has to stir?! Can't believe he hasn't watched any videos on how to make dalgona coffee

Why are there random cute stickers appearing w people's names ah? How do they send them?

he is asking why (he has to do it), it's his birthday again

*""

Hyukjae says he will call the members and if they manages to say certain words, he will pass on to the manager to whisk

the words the members have to say is "saranghae" and hyukjae was like...'which members will say 'saranghae' to me?' LOL

Heechul was like "Saranghae bobo (I love you xx)"

Heechul confirmed be like ???

The 30 April 2012 Airport Fashion Concept question was one of the Q&As in the 2020 Seasons Greeting scratchcard!

(haekjoyce)

hj: i have to call donghae next. what shld i get him to say?

sd: shld i help u pick? smth hard for him to say... this kid... lets get him to say his nickname "lee donghaek"

hj: shld i just get him to say nyonyoynyoo

right donghae. what to do if he curses? they curse a lot with me. right so "nyo nyo nyo ynoo"

dh: happy birthday to you

hj: nyonynoynoy

dh: happy birthday to you

hj: nyonynoynoy

dh: my e oppa

hj: nyonynoynoy

dh: did u do ur birthday party

hj: nyonynoynoy

dh: oh u did thats nice

hj: nyonynoynoy

dh: did u eat seaweed did u talk with ur mom

hj: nyonynoynoy

dh: nyonynoynoy

hj: oh????? ur late!!!!

dh: im never late!!!

hj: ur always a step behind me

dh: ur a step behind me!!!!

hj: ur like 2m behind me

dh: nyonynoynoy

hj: u shld have did this earlier!!!

dh: nyonynoynoynyonynoynoynyonynoynoy

hj: oh u speak well. right by

dh: where are you?

dh: (in the live) happy birthday to you

hj: ??????

dh: i told u i was never late comepared to u !!!!! didnt i !!!!!! ah!!!!!!!! nyonyonyonyooo!!!!

hj: u shld have said so earlier!!!!!!!!

hj: ahhh hthats why the cake only comes out now!! i was wondering why we didnt start with the cake right away. u shld have come earlier

dh: (sings happy birthday) u have to blow the candles with ur nose

hj: shld i try one? oh it works?

eunhae: (laughs)

hj: bring me tissue!! ahhh its the first time i wear this

dh: birthday presents

hj: did you buy them

dh: what are you talking about

hj: i'll check. bring ur receipts.

dh: why do u need to do this

hj: u checked last time when i came didnt u

hj: oh u went there????

hj: bring me another tissue

dh: u don't need it. here!

hj: ???? thats not a gift thats just u promoting!!!!!

dh: no just put it on!!! put it on!!

hj: thats just u promoting!!!

dh: no!!!

hj: then u talk

dh: i really really want to meet you guys. really really really want to meet you guys. oh i will clean it up for u (the stain)

dh: u bought me couple gifts last time didnt u !!!!!!!!!!!!

hj: i did (laughs) ah this is so annoying!!!! we look crazy !!!!!

hj: oh this is shoes? ah this fucking?

hj: ??????????

(couple shoes)

hj: are you fucking crazy. youre crazy

(* pun with shoes and fuck)

hj: i cldnt even think about this (this event)

dh: u needed this right (beauty products)

hj: oh yea. is it the new one? the limited edition

dh: its just how it is

hj: the bag's too big just for these two products

dh: (pulls out couple lipbalms (?????))

hj: woooow youre the worst. this is the worst video ever (laughs) whats this

dh: mother gift

hj: oh i gave a gift for ur mom too. oh i think i bought the same gift for mom

dh: she can use it for a long time

hj: this is the worst

dh: (forces a kiss on hyukjae)

hj: wtf ?????? get off!!!!

hj: this is the worst video ever

hj: wah i want to cry

dh: of course

hj: not bc of you

hj: i cld never have imagined it.... is there water?

hj: oh right, the dalgona? oh you did a lot! then you do it (donghae)

hj: show them, is that enough?

dh: it smells like dalgona coffee

hj: wah my mind is blank

hj: oh its a cheap cake right? about 1,000W right? looks cheap

hj: oh right there was a game

dh: werent u supposed to end it in an hour

hj: idk i do whatever i want. lets do the mission together. everyone what shld i get him to say? oh english? just enligh? oh?? "no challenge no change"

hj: ma-onnnng

sw: hyok

dh: me-honnng

sw: we only call once in a year; on ur birthday

dh: i'll call u in three days

sw: wtf...?

dh: (makes weird noise)

sw: what are you doing

eunhae: (humming the tune of no challenge no change)

sw: nyonyonyo

hj: ma-ong where are you ma-ong

hj: if theres change then there is....

dh: everybody say???

sw: i think its time for your medicine

eunhae: (laughs)

hj: no challenge

sw: i can't say that here theres a lot of people

hj: (usb impersonation) yah yah happy birthday my friend

sw: yes my friend

hj: im on live broadcast

sw:???? its ruined

hj: u failed my mission. u didnt say no challenge

sw: i did

hj: its within 40s

sw: its hard

hj: its bc my birthday is 0404

sw: i kno

hj: ur 0407

next is ryeonggu. what shld i do with ryeonggu. lets hurry up. "im confident"? ok. no other corner, we'll only do this (laughs)

hj: he's not picking up. ryeonggu. ryeonguuuuu. im confident!!!! that kid... hes not busy though. he doesn't have schedules though. does he pick up ur calls? try calling him

dh: then hold this for me

dh: i shld cut off my hair

hj: right hes just not picking up right? its not just my calls right

hj: right then last is kyu. ryeonggu is a fail. hes not picking up. next is kyu. what shld we do with him. "its the worst"? i will try.i shld just sing then. he keeps saying my singing is the worst

kh: hyunnng

hj: (sings)

kh: hyunnnng

hj: (sings)

kh: what are u doing

hj: (sings)

kh: ...hello?

hj: kyu?

kh: hyung ur rly bad at singing

hj: i was just pretending

kh: ur really bad

hj: if u had to say one word what wld it be. i have to hear a word from u

kh: ah "the worst"

hj: ahh!!!! why didnt u say it earlier. its too late now! kyuu

kh: hyung

hj: im doing the birthday party

kh: i heard its at 6pm. im not doing mine bc of u.

hj: ah bc they might not watch? u pushed it back

kh: hyung dont sing

hj: i will dance

kh: ah then thats ok

hj: anyway someones here

kh: who

hj: an athlete

kh: really? lee donghae?

hj: ur good

kh: im good ofc

dh: kyukyukyukyu

kh: donghaiiii. its the two of u

hj: yes its just the two of us. d&e has to do it

hj: am i done? lets eat it

dh: do we have to drink it with a straw? i never tried it

hj: oh this is weird (lipbalm)

dh: its cool right? feels cool. drink it in oneshot

hj: do i have to mix it? no? do i just drink it like this? u hvae a coffee shop, how do i do it?

dh: just dirnk

hj: (drinks)

hj: yah!!!!! theres no milk !!!! its bitter !!!!!!

hj: ohhh youtube is fun!! shld i do it? shld we do it? dont u do it?

dh: i don't do it like that

hj: do it and i will come over to play

dh: no no no no

hj: u shld call ur youtube nononono

dh: teuk hyung does it for 4 hours

hj: oh thats a problem. hes got a disease.

dh: i iwll leave now

hj: try it first. it s weird though? is tat how its supposed to taste?

dh: thats weird

hj: is that right? is that how its supposed to taste

hj: anyway u can leave. i will see you nononono

dh: nonononono

i did the the cake, the dalgona coffee and the game. whats next. ah the most important part, the questions! i was wondering what id do in an hour but its alrdy an hour. thats why teuk hyung does it for 4hrs. and since i don't hear u its quite alright (laughs)

the coffee isnt that good, the milk is good though. yeah its good everyone

i will start eunhyuk's quiz! drum. did u hear the drum sound? theres this thing from shindongdaeng's studio. shld we try listening to applause? is it coming out? ah no? (laughs) well

9 notes · View notes

gettin-bi-bi-bi · 6 years

Note

(1/?) I'm afab and really confused abt my gender. Calling myself a woman doesn't feel right for me but calling myself a girl is totally ok. I have a feminine body (curvy but not fat) and long hair and I'm mostly fine with that but I'm super dysphoric abt having ovaries. I've always felt like this and I've known all my life that I would never want to be pregnant. I used to have really bad confidence but it got better after I lost a lot of weight. I started questioning my gender at age 13 but

(2/?) I dropped it when I started feeling better about myself and bc I didn't think it would be possible to pass as anything but female no matter what I did due to my body shape. I'm 15 now and I've discovered that I have trouble dating bc I'd prefer "the mans role" in the relationship no matter the gender of my partner which has made me doubt that any of my relationships (especially with guys) will work out and it's doesn't help that my reproductive organs feel wrong. I talked to one of my

(3/4)cis-female friends and I said that if it wasn't implausible and seen as abnormal I'd honestly be fine with my current body just with male reproductive organs and she said she'd hate that. A lot of the ways my cis-female friends describe their sexuality just doesn't apply to me at all and it really scares me bc I know that I couldn't transition even if I rly wanted to and I'm worried I'll do something I'll regret. It still makes me really sad to think abt how

(4/4) I still have to live the rest of my life with a body that's just 75% correct. I want to get sterilized when I'm older cuz I feel like it'd help w dysphoria but I'm still worried I'll have to repress my identity. Can you identify as non-binary even if you look like a cis-girl? How do I know if I'd feel better presenting as male? Is it abnormal to feel like this abt yourself? (sorry for the rly long ask btw)

There’s a lot on here so I’m trying to get through it bit by bit.

“I've discovered that I have trouble dating bc I'd prefer "the mans role" in the relationship no matter the gender of my partner which has made me doubt that any of my relationships (especially with guys) will work out”We’ve got a couple of asks in the past of people not knowing with “role” they should take in same-gender relationships and I think some of my advice from there also applies to you which is: try to unlearn the idea that there’s such a thing as “roles” in relationships. I know it’s hard and society’s been telling you this for the past 15 years but in a healthy relationship you should treat each other as equals and not resort to gender roles. Ideally you and your future partner(s) will be on the same page about this but to be sure these are the kinds of things you’d talk about before the relationship even properly starts.

“I talked to one of my cis-female friends [...] A lot of the ways my cis-female friends describe their sexuality just doesn't apply to me at all”I think it’s really good that you talk to your friends about this and it can definitly help you to separate your experiences from those of people who are certain about being cis. No matter what gender you’ll end up being it can help to talk to people of all sorts of genders, trans people, cis people, non-binary people... read and hear a bunch of different experiences and see if there’s something you can relate to.

“Can you identify as non-binary even if you look like a cis-girl?”Yes, definitly. Non-binary is not the same thing as androgyny. Some nb people dress and present in an androgynous or gender neutral way but not all of them do. Appearance and gender are not the same thing; gender is so much more than just looks. Think of it this way: I’m a cis woman with short hair. I could put on a suit and dress entirely in masculine-coded clothes but underneath all that I’d still be a woman because that’s how I feel. Putting on “men’s clothes” wouldn’t suddenly make me a man because I don’t feel like a man. So for you to look like a person that most people read as a woman/girl doesn’t mean that woman/girl is what you have to be. You can be everything you want.

“How do I know if I'd feel better presenting as male?”You just gotta try it. Honestly. You can theorise about it all you want but you’ll probably get a lot more certainty from trying it out. If it’s possible to you now (or at least when you’re older) you could cut your hair short - worst that can happen is that you don’t like it and it’ll take some time to grow it out again. Maybe you can try on some clothes from the men’s section at a clothes shop. It might feel weird and you might take some time to get used to the view in the mirror. Maybe it feels totally wrong - then at least you can cross that off your list. It could also feel super awesome. If you have a friend that you trust they could help you with all of this.

“Is it abnormal to feel like this abt yourself?”No it’s not. Though there are hateful people who will use the word “abnormal” to describe non-binary genders but those aren’t the ones you should give a fuck about. “Abnormal” has a very negative connotation to it; I prefer something like “uncommon”. But non-binary people very much exist so they are normal. They just might be uncommon though honestly we don’t really know just how many people would truly be non-binary if it were more socially accepted. That’s why we need to work on creating an environment in which people can choose freely which gender (if any) feels right for them. There’s non-western societies that have or had (until white people killed it) a completely different understanding of gender. So try not to fall for an arbitrary categorisation of what’s “normal” because more often than not this is used as an oppressive tool against people who dare to deviate from “the norm”.

Maddie

#Anonymous

11 notes · View notes

unicyclehippo · 7 years

Note

sorry but... how is "queer is hurtful" not thinking for yourself? a lot of people who say that ARE, because it hurts them and being put in the category of "queer person" hurts. the expectation to reclaim queer and accept it as a radical term doesn't work for everyone and most of us who don't reclaim it respect that y'all want to call yourselves it, but the whole "queer is inclusive" argument falls flat when many people literally refuse to identify with it at all and thus aren't included by it.

(same anon) like, i don't reclaim it. i can't. it feels more powerful to reject that term completely. how queer inclusive when i, and many other lgbt people, are completely repulsed by it? i respect wanting to call yourself it and the radical feeling that can come with it, but i don't have that. i know there's history, i know many older lgbt people reclaim it, but i ALSO personally know older lgbt people who would gladly punch someone, lgbt or not, if they called them it.

hey u have some rly good points here. i’d like to say that my “queer is hurtful” comment wasn’t directed toward any individual person but was just supposed to be indicative of the incredibly common trend rn that rejects queer solely bc they’re repeating the ‘queer is hurtful’ mindset & either being v new or young or new & young, which is a double whammy, they’re not ready or able to compare this with other opinion & fact in their community, whatever that might be. it’s really common & i don’t think thats?? smth shocking or novel to anyone. it’s also a pretty common tool for terfs so rejecting that comment isn’t nasty, it’s just a rejection of smth without a base to grow from without more facts. so i might have phrased it wrong but i rly was just poking at those ppl who repeat smth that is so,, important & heavy & dangerous without rly thinking abt it.

look, we aren’t gonna agree abt this i can tell u that right now. i support ur desire not to be called queer, that’s ur right & ur existence. full stop. that’s ur choice. i understand how empowering it can be to claim lesbian or nonbinary or whatever it is that ur identity is made up of. there is no part of me that thinks those identities should be erased.

“queer is inclusive” does Not fall flat when ppl refuse to identify with it. just because ppl have had it used against them doesn’t mean that it isn’t a term that is wildly inclusive. this may not be a popular opinion but imo i don’t think that lesbian stopped applying to me when i had ppl spit it at me, or when i felt shame at the mere mention of the word. i think dyke is still an identity that is sitting there waiting for me when i reach out for it. i also think that queer has the vast potential to be for all of us. this sounds so fucking preachy & idealistic i totally realise that im just so passionate abt ppl looking outside themselves (this is not an attack on u, this is ppl in general) & i think that queer can rly be an inclusive - yes inclusive - term. there is no weighting in it like there is for LGBT. i cant tell u the number of times some cis het idiot has said shit like “LGBTRHUYTNDHJAKSGUN is that enough letter now lmao”. & trans women - & trans woc esp - have been the backbone of the queer community forever & many trans ppl & trans women esp have said that whether or not gay men & lesbians realise it, trans rights & trans voices are diminished in LGBT spaces. i’m not saying that it’ll be fixed by calling them queer spaces instead of gay spaces or whatever but im saying it’s a start.

anyway, that’s why i love it, that’s why i think it’s so incredibly vital. im sorry u had such awful experiences with it, pal. sending u so much love x

#boom answered #queer #Anonymous

25 notes · View notes