#my feelings on this are rly complicated

[the-sun-is-evil]

im neither cis or trans, but a secret third thing

#gender is a social construct #thank you very much #but srsly #im not cis #but the word trans doesn't rly feel right??? #mostly because im nb #and dont rly get gender dysphoria #it just doesn't feel right #because i dont struggle like trans ppl do #but at the same time #struggling shouldn't have to be part of the trans experience #my feelings on this are rly complicated #this should be a post #not just tags #but im too tired to write anything cohesive rn #trans #nonbinary

[marchsage]

one more fight... can you do it, ninth?

yes

a piece for @aimportantdragoncollector and @mcfanely ‘s One for All October

#bnha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #midoriya izuku #shigaraki yoichi #<- is that his actual name idr but since on my prev art i tagged that ig ill do it again #this was for... #One for All October #this is an imagined like... last stand #the firsts smile is like.. pride. regret. wistfulness. a lot of feelings #i wonder how complicated the first's feelings are in the moment vs when this is over like aaaaaaaa ofa is rly a tragic quirk isnt it #i wish i could've done more but <:3 i saw this event before it started and got busy til the end #actually i dont think the @ worked for the first person sry abt that #JUST KIDDING THE SECOND @ DIDNT WORK :/ #my art #100n #200n #300n #waaa ty everyone for 300 notes #400n

[cinna-bunnie]

not me and my manager trauma bonding over mommy issues 💀💕 i love her aksksk oof i had to go smoke and Think after this one

i love when our one on ones are basically like lol i don't have much 2 talk about this wk and we get like 40m to hang n talk after getting work stuff out the way. she is such a sweetie and so fun (❁´◡`❁)

#i talked about my intro 2 adulthood and what it was like around before/when i left home and how my sis was just 10 when i left #so we never rly got to be close n i just started talking 2 her this year. but the last thing i told my mom was she lost her son forever #and that she better not fuck up with my sister - and she took it to heart fr which was Great for my sister. #she grew up v loved and supported and idk as the eldest u have complicated feelings being the experiment child. #and as an older sibling u are genuinely happy ur younger sibling has it so much better but there's this disconnect where u both have #Very very different feelings about ur mom and family in general ig. but it's from having lived different lives and idk. #she relates though 😔💕 oldest sibs rly b dealing w moms that tear them down then watch w bittersweet feelings that ur sibs get a better #life. my life itself is fine lol im kinda stoned (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠) but like. a good loving childhood. support. community n never feeling like #there's Nothing for u here. she's turning 21 in December it's crazy how time flies. I'm glad she's doing good but I'm just thinking about #how we had Very different lives and stuff going on in our late teens 😮‍💨 #bless my manager fr i'm glad we got to get into it !! 😹 i can see why i miss her when we don't get to meet for the week

[bogkeep]

the way the most recent pokemon games don't let you turn off the exp share or the affection mechanic bonuses is nothing short of maddening. i think they make great accessibility features If Only They Were Optional and the flavour text is cute, but i want to have a fun casual playthrough that's at least mildly challenging without having to make it a nuzlocke or something. i don't want to feed my starter bitter medicines to make her hate me :(

#JUST LET ME TURN IT OFF... PLEASE.... #i can't do nuzlockes i do Not have the willpower to stick to the rules and they stress me out haha #anyway i am a fool who's left all of my DS games in norway and i got a hankering for replaying sinnoh games #so i decided to get shining pearl right. figured it might be fun even if ill miss the 4th gren spritework something fierce #what ensued was a needlessly complicated process just to get a copy that was slightly cheaper than full price nintendo blood money #there's a store that listed shining pearl at a lower price. not brilliant diamond - just pearl #i feel like maybe it's by mistake since that's the price of a nintendo DS cartridge. so maybe wires got crossed #the norwegian version of the store does NOT have the price disparity. #anyway i can't order online without a swedish phone number. and the local store is out of stock #so i have several long walks to the store to get them to order it in for me and then to order it delivered to me etc #and then of course another long walk to pick up the mail BUT I HAVE IT NOW. I HAVE VIDEO GAME #and it's very nice and nostalgic with a couple quality of life upgrades #my first pokemon game was pokemon diamond. when i got it i was still learning english and had no idea what was happening at any time #good times good times #obviously no pokemon run is ever gonna be as challenging as my first ever run #it does not need to be! u can immediately tell that a lot of difficulty in earlier games is that leveling up your team was a hassle #and almost always required grinding. i do not miss that at all ! but the remakes seem to be Extremely Faithful #so they're not rly structured around how fast you can level your whole team #or that your pokemon are gonna start doing extra crits or hold on to last HP before u even get to the third gym #OH WELL #you know what's very exciting for me though. i have a misdreavous!!! they're pearl exclusive and not in platinum #ive always wanted to do a sinnoh run with a misdreavous on my team for some reason

[arowrath]

i think the best thing that could happen this election season is if joe biden dies in the next 4-6 months . genuinely

#text #i dont think trump would have as much of a chance if there was a different democratic canidate #bc i know a LOT of people arent comfoetable voting for biden no matter what . which like . i really cant blame anyone too mcuh for that #but also votes for other non-dem canidates rly just go to the republican canidate #BUT. if biden dies and someoen takes his place- im not sure who would tbh so maybe my opinion would change if i knew for the record- #then i feel a lot of people who arent voting for genocide joe would be willing to vote democrat again #on the other handif trump dies #we just have the same problem again #im not religious but i might start praying again just for joe's death #Also for the record i know most problems like ever arent cuased by joe himself #but yknow. hes . he's genocide joe #i get why people arent ok with voting for genocide joe #god . its all so complicated and so so evil . i hate this country

[tumblasha]

and pls tell me abt any factors that lead to ur answer(s)! v curious

#curious abt the factors that would lead to ur answer #bc for example #telling someone in my progressive-ish office that i like women is cool #but telling ppl i’m nonbinary when that would only complicate how ppl feel abt me #(since i use any pronouns and look like my agab) #but others that medically / socially transition would be more likely and more open to disclose their gender #and i rly wanna know if there are other nuances to consider when to ‘come out’ at work #national coming out day #happy national coming out day #lgbt #lesbian #gay #bisexual #trans #transgender #queer #poll #polls #my answer: #yes partially (gender and sexuality) #since my haircut makes it obvious i like women #and i put my pronouns they/any on my work profile #but it’s not like i ever put anywhere ‘nonbinary lesbian’ or ‘nonbinary queer’ #dash asks

[blueish-bird]

(CSM Chapter 113 Spoilers)

Denji’s stuck in a situation that keeps on mirroring past experiences/trauma. And he doesn’t even get to see the fucking peguins.

#we don’t know if he got to the penguin exhibit before Famine did her Hell Hotel thing. I’m taking comedic liberties #when asa said you don’t have to think. ow. no. #I don’t know if it’d be more sad to see him have a breakdown or if he numbs himself/represses any feelings he might have #And since this part isn’t in Denji’s pov we can’t rly know what he’s thinking rn. #I’m proud of him though! he knows he can and should be treated better than this! #he’s learning and growing and all that shit! #csm #csm 113 #csm spoilers #csm manga #csm manga spoilers #csm denji #also kind of vibe with the infodumping about sea animals. that would be my ideal aquarium hangout if all parties were interested #kid me was. enraptured with ocean animals. #still am but now I’m afraid of the ocean so… that complicates things. love aquariums though #my chainsaw man thoughts #my csm thoughts #my csm meta

[pasta5284]

watching the world rly descend into fascism over the years is just so upsetting i dont even know how to process it

#uwu #like ik its not like the world was perfect before and in a lot of ways we've really progressed! #but in the last ~7 years it feels like things have gotten rly bad exponentially #which ik is probably a lot of reaction To all the progress thats been made #and ik we can fight it and come back i wont lose hope but idk if itll happen in my lifetime and its so disheartening to see #and thru it all i have to like. write essays work retail deal w personal issues etc #feels so pointless & stupid when it feels like the end is near & there are literally nazis and genocide and shit happenign #ik i sound like a dumb child and its much more complicated but why cant we all just be fucking nicies to eachother #.-. #globalization........sigh

[arolesbianism]

While I may not be allowing myself to post spiraling upwards spoilers, I see no issue with posting art of a bunch of folks who are dead before the story starts and one Conetalon who isn't

#keese draws #warrior cats #warrior cats oc #spiraling upwards #these are all the og leaders and deputies of each of the 4 main clans! #and cone is the only of the og deputies who didn’t die before their leader lol #also two of these are mother daughter duos with bonestar being conetalons mom and bristlestar being gullspots mom #gullspots died during a horrible flood in their old camp #and this was pretty early on in the clan’s life too so no one else was rly qualified to be deputy #she ended up choosing honeyfeather as her new deputy which honey did. not take well. #she had be among the injured in the flood and had just lost her tail along with her best friend #so she was not in a place to be deputy at All #and things would only get worse for her when bristle died only a few months later of old age #because of this she has. complicated feelings on bristle to put it lightly. #frostflow died from an infected wound after a nasty fall which left pretty much the entire clan devastated #foggystar didn’t want to force anyone who was grieving to become deputy so he decided on a cat who had only been a part of the clan for #about a year after his old owners died in a house fire #his name was daisy and he’s one of my favorites and currently he’s the youngest of the four leaders #pigeon died via snake bite which is ironic for reasons I won’t go into now but everyone was devastated blah blah blah but really this did #fuck up most of the older members of the clan a lot as pigeon played such a vital role in them all being alive here today #ratstar ended up choosing her other crush (more complicated edition) as her new deputy since she was the right hand man to the cat who #started the revolution that brought them all together but abt a year later it became clear to both of them that nightfur wasn’t able to #handle the pressure of this anymore so she retired #after that ratstar just tried to pick the most responsible looking cat and she kind of succeeded #I say kind of because she Was but then 3 of her children got murdered and her best friend died right before ratstar dropped dead #so now she’s barely holding things together and has some newfound anger issues #and then my girl conestar just got to hang out and become leader when her mom died lucky her #well no she was absolutely devisated when her mom died as bonestar was like the number one cat she cared abt #she had been terrified of losing her mom for good for years so even though she could tell her mom was getting old and was able to talk to #her directly about these fears she still had a hard time moving forwards

[beatcroc]

always so funny to re-realize that my fixations evidently don't work like most people's. i'll see posts like 'that point in ur life ur between hyperfixations and u feel like ur just floating aimlessly' or ppl talking about like 'aw man i think my hyperfixation on x is fading' and i'll be like you can do that? that can happen? bc for me these things don't have an expiration date they always just keep going until they're replaced by something else. the only time i ever 'lost interest' in a fixation in a neutral way it literally took more than two years and it wasn't a gradual fade so much as a specific and sudden 'ok i want to do something else now'.

#that was annieblog btw. and then like a week after i quit i started fixating on my own oc's #which lasted about 3 years and then that only FINALLY just got replaced by pizza. #you have no IDEA how bad sth has to get me to throw me out of the oc groove. there were various smaller interests through that time but #pt is the one. one of those ones im gonna be on for years again. #i like to think when it's finally passed it'll be one of those ones where im like 'damn that guy was cool i should draw him again' #like how i do for bad batter and bec noir every couple years. prematurely putting fp in those leagues now. #bweeeaaahh #honestly feels so good to get back to doing fanart again #like dont get me wrong i love my ocverse to death and i will gladly spend 3 hours explaning all my complicated lore and mechanics #but fandom stuff is just. a different vibe yknow #i rly enjoy working with the restrictions of something having a canon that i don't dictate and seeing how far i can go within that #also i dont gotta be the center of my own shit here. way easier to find community and bounce ideas around w other people

[girlwithfish]

also he asked a kinda personal question and i was talking abt it but felt very embarrassed and it also took me a long time to articulate when I cld have said it more succinctly w less pauses and such...felt kind of embarrassed after bc im like why am I not normal abt anything. but idk a little vulnerability is good I suppose. 😕

#he asked if i feel any connection to my chinese heritage #and then i gave some complicated nonsensical answer abt feeling disconnected and alienated etc #Which was weird to talk abt out loud bc i realize i never really have talked abt it out loud much to anyone #or maybe ever #so its weird to say out loud #like theres always gonna be some gap or emptiness etc #And i didnt rly articulate it that well but i was thinjing abt it now but i also dont like feeling #like a spectacle ? i guess #Even if ppl dont intend to make u feel that way but i really dislike ppl/strangers or ppl who i dont know well butting in to my personal #life #or like being asked why i dont look like my parents as a kid or ppl inquiring abt my adoption #even tho ik its 'innocent' curiosity it def makes me feel like a spectacle of some sort #and tied w feeling alienated and even mkre like a spectacle esp when i worked in retail and wld encounter a lot of ppl and would get #asked alll the time where am i from its very annoying and i #think i dont like the unwanted attention and also again ppl idk getting into my business LOL #And then theres also the shame that comes w being around or encountering other chinese ppl or older chinese ppl and #having ro explain i dont speak the language or i dont have chinese parents #its like i would rather not have to talk abt a personal aspect of my life to strangers at all tbh. idk if thats odd #and esp when my personal experiences as an adopter kinda get talked over by my parents or other ppl idk #idkkk #i dont think he rly knew what to say hah and he said it seemed like a sensitive subjwct bc i spent like ten minutes(jk) tryig to articulate #But like ofc i like being chinese but ik im not chinese in the same way as others may be #Even tho i am. but yk what i mean #but he was rubbing my leg affectionately while i talked and listened even tho i was taking like 8 minutes to answer a simple question #Idk

[zukkacore]

hii i dont know you but when dallas liu posted that zukka shirts picture to instagram i was obviously gonna check if the artist was in the comments and before i ever found your instagram i found your??? aunt and cousin??? promoting your redbubble which was so funny to me 😭 congrats on having the most supportive family who will do your zukka merch promo for you<3

Yeah! A bunch of my family knows abt it lol. They were honestly doing more for me than I was just bc I’ve always been a little too self conscious to shill. I do feel kinda bad and wish a little bit they would chill but it’s very sweet & well meaning. I got texts from several of my cousins being like we wanna buy the shirt to support you & I was like? The gay zukka shirt? Be my guest if u wear it as a sleep shirt or something. My dad was literally like “I’m gonna show my students this they’re gonna think it’s so cool” & bc I also work in education (kinda) I was like but what if you get a complaint from a parent or something. He basically said “oh idc I’m looking for an excuse to fight my principal anyway”

so yeah papa zukkacore is fully prepared to die on the zukka hill which is an extremely strange thing to know. He’s literally that kind of person that thinks cartoons are inherently dumb and childish & all anime is yugioh. I’m not even sure he knows who Zuko and Sokka are <3

#jan.ask #Jan.anon #he’s like. something something that airbender show #I’ve never rly come out to them but. like. they know something is up. #my status as a queer woman feels pretty obvious but I’m still terrified to say anything abt tbr transgenderism #my extended family is more complicated. but the cousins my age & like my old millennial cousins are cool #but even my older family is. like. it’s a weird thing. it’s very Could Be Worse. which I’ll take I guess

[technicalthinker]

woke up this morning having dreamed about a lot last night (including some very vivid stuff with a guy i dated so long ago which gave me a bit of a crisis) and felt a bit iffy, but it seemed like it was lessening over the day, surely no problem-

nope. sure is. it's time to sleep now and my body and brain is so unsettled. want to hide in my bed and never get out. googling 'spring depression' as we speak.

#personal stuff #heard someone mention ppl getting depressed when spring comes and im starting to THINK #last week has been bad and now sun is coming out and i should feel lighter abt it but im NOT #i feel like my brain is going at twice the speed but its physical capabilities cant keep up #throw in emotional dysregulation in there. #wanting to feel excited abt my projects and ideas and creative endeavours but also feeling rly stupid. #to clarify: no trauma with this dude. it's just complicated and like #dreaming abt reconnecting with him and feeling things abt it and then waking up and it didnt even happen? weird #I sometimes think i need to date just to reset my brain a bit i dont like having a rly old ex as my only baseline for dating #i dont have time for dating rn tho AND the girl i like and talk a lot to like #neither of us have time to meet and it's kinda turned a POTENTIAL thing into a stand-still. which sucks but is what it is #and i dont have the emotional space and time to try to date someone that lives closer/has easier time meeting. #with dog and job and hobby it aint mathing out

[skywarpshydroflask]

cyclonus would work so well in earthspark bc he's like one of the few villain characters u wouldn't need to tone down the evilness for them to fit into the "not everything is black and white" narrative. like he's always been basically just some guy. it's just he happened to have been created to follow a super evil dude

#me text #cyclonus #im thinking abt his characterization in mtmte n i think itd fit rly well #n i think hed fit well w what the terrans have got going on #also watching g1 im not sure of galc beating him up was supposed to have #the same comedic value as w starscream & megs #*galv #but if so it rly Does Not Work when he is basically the opposite of starscream lol #the thing w megs n screams is that theyre basically on very similar levels of insane awful guy #they work bc theyre awful and they hate each other and try to kill each other but also refuse to let the other escape bc theyre too prideful #meanwhile galvatron is megs cranked up to 100 but cyclonus is just a guy doing his job bc he was literally made to so its like #hm. this isnt fun.. just sad.. #also tangent but i dont rly like what es is doing w screams so far.. id like to see him as a more complicated char but just making him #Abused Guy doesnt feel like it does him justice . pouts #sry abt the rant i have a lot on my mind wrt these guys ok.

[twinknote]

ranting as my dog given right this fine disability pride month (altho i’m feeling more disability shame rn)

my mom asked if i wanted to get smth for dinner and i was like “i don’t rly have the energy to go out but i would order smth for pickup/delivery” bc ik i pushed myself a bit too hard the past few days (today Esp)

and altho i appreciate it bc i haven’t been able to afford to get food anywhere in a Hot minute, i’m like Wow i rly don’t have the energy to call somewhere or even go into a restaurant to pick up food and i’m also just feeling v arfid-y esp around meat and things that might mess up my stomach and anyway i just wish that shit wasn’t so fuckin complicated and i wish my mom could understand how complicated even something as simple as getting food is for me and just like idk offer to pick it up. i hate having elderly parents who don’t know how to function in the world on their own

#also it’s shabbat and i’ve been rly wanting to actually observe it for like a month now and i never get to bc Something comes up that #i feel obligated to do and then i have to wait another week etc. #and i’ve had like zero actual rest days this week bc i’ve been trying to get myself out of the house #which has helped my mental state but i’m just So exhausted #it’s almost as if having chronic Fatigue syndrome on top of another disability makes u idk Tired? from doing things? #crazy stuff ik #also like bitch i don’t even have clean clothes to wear that i won’t sweat in bc for some reason it’s still 80 degrees at 7pm #and i was planning on doing laundry tomorrow. also on shabbat. kms this shit is too complicated i give up

[willowfey]

tell me why i had a dream the other night that i had an affair with matty healy when i have not thought about that man for more than two minutes in my life

#i saw him live like pretty close to the stage (small venue) as a teenager and i still know shit all about him #and i have never fantasised about him even once #and yet in my dream i like. borrowed his skirt (??) and he saved me from danger and i hid out at his house #and we had a Thing and then some girls told me he was bad news but i was like. he seems different than u think #and i started to accidentally fall in love with him and we weren’t communicating about anything #just having rly intense nights with his friends and family and alone while i hid out at his house #and i rode on the back of his motorcycle #and like suddenly was In His Celebrity Life without meaning to be. and i was on my way to his concert to wait backstage and he’d like #kind of been ignoring me for a day or two? being weird and distant even tho i was in his house. and i was rly confused #and this girl told me he had commitment issues and i was like ok #and all of them were rly sad that he stopped calling them and i was like ‘i’m not rly a part of this group i wasn’t even a fan rly’ #’this happened accidentally why do i feel so confused rn’ #why did i have such a complicated dream about this man I Don’t Even Know Him