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elvisabutler · 2 years

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"kiss it, doll. kiss it like you kissed my gun last week." I AM WILDING OUT i think i speak for us all when i say we need the gun fic please

y'all are wild and i love it. this is why i have the best anons. i got those of you who love the priscilla actress universe stuff, i got the fluff, i have the elvis story anon and the 68 comeback discussion and then i got y'all with the gun and knife kink. i have the best anons. but yeah welcome to my attempt at gun kink. but also please pay attention to the trigger warnings.

tw: dubious consent, it's very tricky but to be on the safe side i'll include it, gun kink, fellatio involving a gun, unhealthy bdsm practices, the normal elvis is messed up warnings re: drugs and such. i think i implied the potential for murder? i this is worse than the knife kink, seriously. it's a lot and i need jesus.

austin!elvis, gun kink - russian roulette

the thing about elvis and it's the thing you learned quickest when he had jerry- or maybe it was joe, it had been long enough and there had been enough sleepless nights that you couldn't remember all that well who had done it- but when he had one of the mafia grab you from out of the crowd of one of his shows you learned that you had to go along with what elvis wanted. you could say no, but somehow you'd maybe always be saying yes, it was just easier. besides, most of his requests were- strange but they were tolerable.

you could handle those requests but sometimes elvis had those off the wall requests and they always seemed to happen after his shows when his adrenaline is through the roof and he's riding the high of hearing all those fans screaming for him. he's riding that high of having all those women force their way to the aisles and the front of the stage just for a taste of him. he thinks he's the goddamn king of the world- even if he hates the nickname the king and will until he dies- and that he can ask everyone to jump and the only question anyone would ask is "how high, ep?"

you like to pretend you're not in that company but you know all it takes is him looking at you in just the right way before you cave. it's a problem and you know he takes advantage of it every single time but- you can't stop it, you won't put a stop to it.

you think tonight be an okay night, elvis seems naturally tired and you think it'll be fine, maybe you'll have a glass of wine before bed, maybe he'll have to take a pain pill but you two will be able to sleep and maybe you can wake him up with your mouth around his cock and his hand in your hair. the moment elvis opens his mouth after his shower you know that dream has just slid down the drain.

"you trust me, darlin'?" he asks, his hand moving through your hair as you try to remove all the pins and everything required to keep it just how he likes it.

you hum, trying not to answer yes or no because you know your answer tends to edge toward maybe most days. you trust him until you don't. it's unhealthy and both you and your degree know this but- human brains are silly sometimes and make idiotic decisions. he hates it when you're noncommittal like this.

"darlin'," he starts, his hand tightening just a bit. "i asked a question, i know you have answer."

you finally pull the last pin out of your hair and motion for elvis to mess up your hair, shake it out so to speak while you focus on breathing and answering. "yes, sir, i trust you." the use of sir is purposeful and from the way elvis digs both of his hands in your hair and ruffles it just so you know it was the right call.

"you ever played with a gun before?" he murmurs into your hair, taking an inhale against it.

"no." you answer very simply. it's a no that serves the purpose of trying to tell him that no you haven't ever played with a gun and no you don't plan on changing that.

his hand moves to your chin and he grips it, forcing you to look up as you purse your lips. "i want to- there was a guy in the audience, he had a gun on his holster, it was goddamn gorgeous. asked him where he got it and we got to talkin' told me his wife and him play with them in bed."

there it was, the off the wall request that you don't want to agree to but you know you're going to within the next ten minutes. you inhale sharply at the idea and elvis takes that to mean you like the idea if the way his grip softens gives any indication. "i don't know if i feel- you shot at the tv once, elvis. remember that?"

he shakes his head. “i ain’t feeling like that tonight, doll. i wouldn’t shoot you. promise, mama." a pause. “just wanna see you gagging on my favorite thing other than you and my dick.”

the image isn't unwanted as it comes barreling to the forefront of your mind, swirling around and making you think of how you'd look for him on your knees, lips around the gun as he stroked himself. your body shivers as you look up at him praying your pupils don't give away how that image has turned you on.

“you want me to deep throat your pistol?” you ask shakily, thighs clenching together as you focus on your breathing and studying how he's reacting.

“mmhmm.” he hums. "wanna see you treat it like you treat my cock. cover it in so much of your spit that when i pull it away i see that little bit still hanging between your lips and it." he gets down on his knees, his hands on your thighs, pushing them apart to reach between them. his hand drifts up and finds your underwear slowly becoming soaked and he can't help but chuckle. "someone likes the idea."

"maybe." the word comes out in a huff, your body feeling more overheated the more he speaks and the more you feel him play with you over your underwear.

"little more than maybe, darlin'. pretty sure i can make you come without me even touching you if we do this." he challenges as he pulls away his hand.

your teeth immediately dig into your lower lip to prevent the keen you know it about to leave your lips before you glare at elvis. "get the gun, sir. the turquoise one."

he ties your hands behind your back before he does anything with the gun knowing if he doesn't you'll be touching yourself and "that defeats the goddamn purpose of coming without me touching you, darlin'.". you're aggravated about it but you try and not let it show on your face. elvis is on the bed now, sitting on the edge with you on your knees in front of him. your eyes are focused only on the gun as you watch him move it toward your skin. your body is on fire, at least you could swear you're on fire with how the metal feels when it touches you. it should be warm, it was in his hands but it was as if it had been dipped in an ice bath before he used it to touch you. the gasp sounds more like a groan and your body heats up even more from the embarrassment.

"darlin'." he whispers with a teasing edge. "haven't even gotten to a fun part and you're already like this. gonna make those noises around it too?" his hand moves to your mouth, his thumb forcing it open by pressing on your lower lip. "gonna take my gun like a good girl?"

you nod, not trusting your voice before realizing your mistake. "yes, sir."

his answering smirk is all the warning you get before he slowly moves the barrel of the gun into your mouth. your first instinct is to force it out but you focus on making sure your tongue doesn't try and force it out. instead you focus on letting it roll around the barrel as much as you can, acting as you do when you have elvis in your mouth. you allow yourself to moan, the coolness of the metal and the taste feeling different but not unwelcome. your had been closed but you open them just a little and look up to see elvis' hand slowly playing with his cock, not wrapped around it, not just yet. you frown around the gun at that.

"what's wrong, doll?" he asks moving the gun out just slightly before pushing it back in, trying to emulate the way he'd see his cock slip in and out between your lips. he follows where your lidded eyes are looking and he laughs. "oh. you want me to be- oh baby i'm saving this for you. wanna have you make a mess of yourself suckin' off my gun and then i can make a mess of that pretty goddamn face of yours with my cock. cover that face in my cum with my gun against you."

the image shouldn't send the jolt it does to your clit but you can't help the way you choke on the barrel of the gun as you groan, your hips trying grind against the air because you can't reach the carpet. you tear up and pat at elvis' leg three times, a sign that you need him to take the gun out before he shakes his head.

"you sure, darlin'?" he asks and all you do as an answer back is tap three more times. he purses his lips, clearly more than a little annoyed as he pulls the gun out slowly watching as there's a small trail of saliva between your lips and the gun barrel. "you've done better before with my cock. expected more from ya."

you look up at elvis and try and grind your hips again. "give me it back then." you're being mouthy and you know it's a dangerous game to play but you're wanting something wanting to feel friction that you can't get.

he moves the gun back to the front of your face without question. "no, i'm not sticking it back in your mouth, not tonight. but how but you give it a kiss. seen you give my spent cock those enough. wanna see my best girl's lips kissing this. kissing something i could fuckin' kill her with."

your eyes widen at that, genuinely scared for a moment before he shrugs. "i won't but you know i could." is his only response back to you before you exhale slowly and place your lips at first against the tip of the barrel before moving to place feather soft kisses down the rest of the gun until you reach his hand and the trigger. you're still wet and you know at this point you're pretty sure you've dripped onto the carpet before you let yourself kiss the trigger despite elvis' hand.

his answering groan is low and you hear the sound of his free hand wrapping around his cock. your eyes narrow as he pulls the gun away and uses it to trace a line down to your chest. he stands up, hand still pumping away. "think i should let you suck it still? think you fuckin deserve it after failing with the gun?"

"i do. i deserve it because you want to come on my face. i'll have it dripping from my lips, elvis." you answer, as you move again, trying to chase the feeling of the gun against your skin. "i look so pretty like that, remember?"

he growls a bit at that, knowing that yes, yes you do. he pauses, allowing himself a moment to not stroke his cock. he move to undo your restraints before he speaks, putting the gun in your hand. "show me what you can do with this while i've got those pretty lips on my cock. make yourself come before you make me come. you got that? or else we'll try this again tonight over and over until you get it right."

you almost argue with elvis that you think he doesn't have the stamina today to pull that off before you stop yourself. now was not the time or the place to be saying something that could get you in trouble. instead you nod, licking the entire gun before dragging in down your chest. "what are you waiting for? i might be able to make myself come twice before you."

if the way elvis shoves his cock down your throat after that is a little less than gentle, that's between him, you and god. and if when he does come you drag the gun through his come painting your face and your chest before cleaning it off with small kitten licks before deep throating the gun?

well that's just between you and elvis. god might want to stay out of that one.

#austin elvis smut #austin elvis x reader #THIS IS A LOT.#austin elvis #i.#i'm worse about this one than i was about the knife one.#i might expand on this one later.#maybe.#ally's 500 follower gala #ally writes #i'm going to go write a meet cute now to cleanse my soul.

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isolctions · 3 years

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...........so let’s finally talk abt what the actual fucking fuck is wrong with ai’rina rue castillo, huh gang? :-)

(everyone go thank @armsdealing & @durcgs beating the anxiety out of me in order to post this info-dump.)

...before we get into things, now’s the part where i establish a warning for triggers to be discussed in this lengthy headcanon post. there’s gonna be some talks of mental illness, slight alcohol abuse, & breaking down topics of familial abuse, mental abuse, religious abuse, emotional manipulation, and elements of non-con. be warned.

a’ight, so look. i’ve hinted in between threads & development that rue had a not-so-fantastic upbringing that impacted how she perceives herself, how she interacts with others, (in terms of her career, at least) and how she views personal relationships, but i didn’t realize how........severely her upbringing messed with her mental health until i started working through how i wanted to plot out rue’s behavior for her next album release. at first, i had the idea that she decided to take more time for herself & sort of distance herself from the public / media circus plaguing her life so that she can create much more authentic music. then i actually listened to the EP that i’m basing her album off of and thought “...oh.” THEN, i looked over old meme responses & old threads / mentions of her family and how she grew up and thought, not for the last time since piecing everything together: “....oh. oh fucking boy.”

so, that horrible realization dawning on me, let’s talk about rue’s childhood.

i wrote a thing like, two years ago almost (that upon looking for last night, i realized i didn’t actually share it w/ anyone but alex in our discord server & only mentioned a portion of it in rue’s moodboard that i made) that talked vaguely about how rue felt growing up. and it’s worth noting that...she’s the middle of ten fucking siblings. and that’s just the brothers & sisters she knew of that stayed with their mother. and on top of that, not all of those siblings are the product of rue’s father, or even rue’s mother for that matter. and it’s also worth noting that rue not only grew up in poverty, but she grew up never having any actual space that had solely been her own, or even an article of clothing that had belonged entirely to her. so naturally, as a young child, rue sort of became torn between starved for attention & wanting someone to pay attention to her (whether that be her older siblings including her in something, whatever teacher they had for the next six months to call on her for something, for her mother to miraculously show up with her unknown father in tow one day, & for literally anyone to be her friend, pls god Notice her!!!) and for people to simply leave her the hell alone. obviously, this carried into adulthood.

and branching off from the whole “lack of space” point i made, rue wound up growing up to become increasingly more private as time went on because she literally cannot remember a single moment where she wasn’t squished between a bunch of people. driving around in their minivan? rue’s packed in the middle of the second row. nowhere to sleep while on the road? rue’s smacked between gigantic older brothers & clingy little siblings. need to use to bathroom? lmao, she better off going outside!!! gotta change clothes? yeah, good luck with that. it was to the point where, when rue got her first period, she was humiliated by it — not because ‘omg, am i a woman now?? wtf is this???’, but because she ruined the one good sheet that she slept on with her sisters & they were super pissed at her and her mother withheld pay from her for weeks. >:/

already, rue grew up never having shit to herself until the record deal. but she also dealt with literally...so much abuse from her mother. rue thought this was the norm growing up, because all of her siblings faced their mother’s wrath at some point & all of them eventually learned to just deal with the shit and do what she says if they wanted to avoid it. they all compartmentalized and repressed to varying degrees. there’s a lot in which rue has repressed so deeply, she doesn’t even remember if it seriously happened or if she was just making it up bc it was so fucking bizarre for a parent to act that way towards their child, lol?? (and this behavior of “i’m just going to do what you say bc i don’t want to deal with whatever bullshit you’re up to if i say no” also carried into business / personal relationships, which is...very Yikes it’s amazing she didn’t get scammed or worse!)

so sure, people have complimented her for her exceptional manners & her cleanliness & how quiet / polite she is & how amazing her posture is, bc seriously, this girl will never experience back problems in her life bc her posture is so on par. but where rue typically smiles / responds bashfully, she can’t exactly just up and say: “oh, yeah, my mom used to slap the shit out of me ‘til i bruised if i spoke out of turn or talked back, and if i reached for anything in the store or put my elbows on the table she’d slap a ruler against my palms ‘til i got welts, and she’d make me read verses all night without sleep if i did anything wrong and make me straighten up and kneel on rice if i slouched or took a nap in church and humiliated me in public if i so much as looked at someone of the opposite sex on the street n oh, did i mention i also cleaned houses for rich millionaire snobs from ages twelve to sixteen and if they said or did literally anything to me i wasn’t allowed to defend myself?? ya i’m real proper :)”

(and normal ppl will go: “...................what the FUCK is WRONG with you????”)

but oh man, babe, we’re not done yet!!! rue, being the product of both a highly religious and a highly exploitative household...had difficulty when she started reaching puberty & noticing her classmates. plural, because it wasn’t just boys that she began to secretly have crushes on / fantasize abt, sexually or domestically. she also realized, oh shit, that she started looking at girls differently too. and that literally put the fear of god into her heart, bc if her mother ever found out that she was having non-platonic feelings for the girls in her classrooms, she wasn’t going to be pissed. her mom might have actually tried to kill her. or have her exorcised or something. she knew the shit would be severe, and she wanted no fucking parts of her mother or her siblings inserting the church into her personal life, thank u very much! so rue started suppressing her romantic feelings for people to the point where if adult rue receives intimacy, she’s like “...is this allowed? is this not illegal??????” while simultaneously being like “i will be a slut. just this once. as a Treat to teenage me. :>” regardless, rue learned to molotov cocktail literally any emotion or thought she had, bc she was paranoid that it would give her mother a vision.

now, onto the perils of exploitation...she should’ve been used to it really, what with her mother forcing herself & siblings to lure customers into their shop with promises of visions and palm readings and the wonders of the cards and overexerting their abilities. same with housekeeping, like being of service to people was normal! but when seventeen year old rue decided to sign a record deal and break from home, she wasn’t thinking critically about what the fuck all of this would entail. and as described in this headcanon post abt her discography, her early music was the product of allowing people much older & powerful than you to influence your work & manipulate your values. so rue was very much parading around as someone she wasn’t, someone much more confident and badass and self-assured than she really was, and she was so impressionable back then that it literally makes her sick to think back on it now. she calls it her puppy phase and phrases the eagerness to please execs as ‘tongue wagging’. homegirl hardly even knew her name anymore, bc all she was and all she would ever be was rue, the star, the vocal temptress. not ai’rina, the help or ai’rina, the seer, ai’rina, the weak little nobody. but later on, the subtle manipulation was less about decision making & how they wanted her to sound, and more about how they wanted to present the latest trophy star — because after all, she was pretty. people liked her. she sung really well. suitors weren’t too far off into the distant future. so why not kill two birds with one stone by having a high ranking label artist keep tabloids talking by being seen in public with a few heart throbs? surely, there’s no harm in manipulating an eighteen/nineteen year old’s love life! under the guise of improving her social skills & relations with fellow artists and the media and the like, rue gave into the pressures and let herself be taken out on dates & seen at awards shows with a few guys. no big deal. it was only for a night or so, she could handle the attention. then, one night appearances turned into week long appearances. pretending to date for only a month! completely innocent, positive exposure. :)

(adult rue, looking back @ younger rue: you stupid fucking BITCH-)

yeah, so once her label/management realized that she was turning into a hot commodity, they lost no sleep at allowing their nineteen year old artist to be seen ‘dating’ 20-24+ year old men occasionally. and whatever happened after their public appearances were none of their business. plus, she was good at pretending and being arm candy — so rue experienced her first kiss, her first dates, and her first times with people who she’s almost certain hardly remember their time with her, and really only got involved with her for a mutual career boost. very few of them does she actually remember in a positive light, and the ones that were positive, still depress her bc lmao all of it was fake, even if they were really nice & made it less like a chore and more like they actually wanted to be with her!! even fewer of them were actual relationships. meaning, said person asked her out of their own volition, not bc their managers thought it’d be a decent match on camera. it was evil, really, what her old label made of her. (like, she makes funny jokes that her first time having sex was awkward bc she had a vision halfway through that bummed her out but in reality it was just...really more of a transaction that made her feel icky n progressively worse abt herself until it happened more often and now she just doesn’t care anymore. sex is just sex, u know?? everything’s fake. why you gotta make it personal.) this whole fiasco took over the larger part of rue’s career from like, age nineteen to age twenty-two or so, and she suffered dramatically from this because what is even a genuine, authentic relationship at this point? what do u mean you want to get to know me? did ur manager tell you to ask so many damn questions & try to get to know me? obviously you want something from me bc that’s why everyone gets into a relationship or has sex with me, stop confessing feelings for me u fucking loser. >:/

like...rue doesn’t even have friends. outside of her relationship with marcelo / @armsdealing (which, AGAIN, i think was initially arranged to promote her song be honest, how fucking IRONIC), rue does not have any personal relationships with anyone. i mean, she likes her latest management team since switching labels...her hair stylist is rly cool & her make up artist is fun to vacation with...she met a few other celebrities at events that she occasionally texts & has dinner with...yeah, she’s basically a pretty hermit. her family is more or less out of the question — the few brothers & sisters she does still have a positive relationship with (like, four of them lol), they don’t see each other in person often / mainly communicate via groupchat and facetime calls when all of them have time. she tried visiting with her mother over the years, but the verbal & emotional abuse/curses placed on her/accusations of being an imp of satan for singing to the public/memories of being forced to perform psychic shows & clean for chump change keeps her from trying to mend that relationship. like, being gaslit by ur mother isn’t really the vibe, u know? and bottom line, rue simply is a very shy and socially stunted individual who does not know how to communicate like a normal human being anymore. hell, her life revolves around pretending for strangers at this point!

now, onto how...all of That ties into her behavior / state of mind during this next album. so, after riding the wave of success from her third album & the circus that came with that. rue sort of had a fucking existential crisis. came out of absolutely nowhere. (not nowhere — one of her brothers called her out of the blue and called her ai’rina and she literally went “who the fuck is that?”) told her label that she was taking some time in between albums bc she was creatively zapped or whatever bullshit excuse she came up with that somehow worked bc this new label was a little more understanding than the last. vacationed for a little, did some hot girl shit, bought a house, tried to see her mother again for whatever reason then got the shit slapped out of her and finally screamed at her to never touch her again unless she wanted to Throw Hands. cried and got drunk abt it. that took six months. bullshat to her label again, dropped like two songs to smooth things over, decided to focus on magic for a little to ground her, started partying with label mates then going home shitfaced & hungover every other morning. that took eight months. dropped one last song, promptly deleted her twitter, tried to write songs again, got a call from her mother and panicked and got drunk. that took a year. vacationed some more, got even drunker, was bed ridden for like three months because holy shit i’m having so many visions and if i see One More Thing my brain is going to explode, couldn’t separate the present from the future for weeks after that, told absolutely no one about that, cried every day & had an identity crisis, dyed her hair to appease the identity crisis goblins. that took a year and a half.

now, she just chilling. dyed her hair again. scaring her siblings halfway to death bc she keeps going on benders & sending cryptic texts abt the visions she’s getting but they’re so incomprehensible that they’re seriously considering moving in to get her fucking shit together. had a vision that she was married with kids and had a two week identity crisis appeased only by moving houses. (she was in a neighborhood with families...too much Drama and visions. turned into a really cool song tho.) started calling herself by her birth name of ai’rina in private. reactivated twitter to send cryptic tweets that her album is coming. working on said album. trying to drink less but kinda failing bc how is one simply supposed to make a highly personal dual album without alcohol??? prbly somewhere crying in marcelo’s lap or smthn. just vibes.

like...i feel like, in my head, the Theme of her project is wrapped up in identity. her relationship with fame and whatnot. trying to coax her childhood self out of its’ shell so that she can function like a normal goddamn person for once and re-establish her values. like, if someone went to any of rue’s residences right now, it’s just songbooks everywhere and wine glasses and her crystals and shit, bc she still has people’s futures to read for money. (yes, she never really got out of that portion of her childhood, but hey it pays.) it was all very confusing to experience at once while in bed at four in the morning & even though i tried organizing and debated on this, it’s still a Lot. which is why i am once again asking for plots that would allow her to dissect all these Things

so yeah. album four otw, with a side of confronting our childhood & facing our traumas!

#rue — facts #imagine me making a cohesive hc post #it wont happen but like imagine how sexy that would be #anyway this is long and me thinks stream of conscious hc posting is both therapeutic and Exhausting #but i had a lot of thots abt her that needed to be shared to...yeah #abuse tw #alcoholism tw #long post tw #i feel like that its always sunny meme??? yall know which one #but anyways this is somehow overwhelming n embarrassing that i typed so much so i am going to hiding!#UNLESS!...........u want to plot with this Disaster of a woman :eyes:

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drunklander · 4 years

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Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 512

Looking for a way to spend Mother’s Day? Well, we here at Outlander have the perfect idea! Celebrate with the women you love by watching us gang rape grannie!

This episode is like the perfect storm of everything that is wrong with Outlander. The cast and crew saying it’s their strongest episode yet when it’s basically artsy gang rape. The CYA trigger warnings when the story would have worked perfectly well without including yet another rape. The kool aid-drinking fans yelling at and acting holier than thou at the fans who rightfully call out the massive problem this show has with rape and assault. The fans yelling at other fans because It’S iN tHe BoOk so it has to be included. The fans yelling at other fans for wanting to follow the books but not wanting rape every 0.5 seconds. The fans yelling at other fans to fuck off if they don’t like the show. The women in the cast throwing out trigger warnings while the men are radio silent or wanting the gladiators to face the plague and fight for their own amusement. It literally has everything.

And I am tired.

I’ve been in this fandom for six years and have had quite a journey. From first discovering the show and immediately devouring the books. The honeymoon period where I could headcanon out all the problematic bits. The getting deep into the fandom nonsense. The getting out of the fandom nonsense. The judging the fandom nonsense because it’s funny and they’re all idiots. The getting sick of the fandom nonsense because it’s not even fun to judge the dummies anymore. The becoming more and more aware that it’s impossible to whistle past the problems in the books and the show. The sticking around, holding out hope things might turn around and the initial magic could be recaptured. And finally, the giving up.

The books are trash. The show is trash. There are a handful of good scenes in each which can be enjoyed on their own, but as a whole, holy shit this stuff is not good. (Seriously, I tried to do a Fiery Cross reread before the season started. I started like a year ago and am still only at Jocasta’s wedding because I just don’t care enough to actually get through it.)

Which brings us here. I am tired. I have already ranted and raged and yelled and swore and wrote far too many words about the gratuitous overuse of rape in the Outlanderverse. It fucking has its own tag for fuck’s sake.

So here’s a recap. And then I think I’m done looking at this show in detail. Not because the idiot fans insist on coming to my notes to tell me to fuck off if I don’t like the show. Not because the crew are condescending douchecanoes. Not because the author is a misogynist garbage heap. But because spending an hour of my time for a few weeks out of the year to write these things isn’t worth it. I did it for as long as I did because it took so little time. So why not? But yeah, it’s not even worth that tiny commitment anymore.

And to the people who I know will @ me about how no one was forcing me to stick around and I could have quit any time, yeah, no shit captain obvious, I know that. Fuck off already. I stuck around because I really liked the little corner of the fandom that I’d found. I made some awesome friends. Most of those friends have since quit the fandom. I’m really glad to have them in my life outside of this little corner of the internet. And it was a fun writing exercise. I don’t really like the show anymore, but I enjoyed building an argument about why I don’t like it and think it’s bad that has valid points behind it. Especially considering how blindly overly adoring a bunch of the fandom is about it. But now I think I’d rather consume Outlander content as pretty people in pretty period costumes in gifsets. Or like, on in the background but not really paying close attention. Why not quit altogether? Because to quote the great Ron Swanson (I’m halfway through a Parks rewatch and I just love that show a lot ok.), I can do what I want. And besides, there’s like a fucking library’s worth of fics that I haven’t read and have been meaning to. And I like the characters enough to want to keep reading about them in stories that are better than the canon. (Bless you fic writers, blesssss.)

So. Was this whole ramble self-indulgent and overly serious for a fucking TV show? Absofuckinglutely. But please see the aforementioned Swansonism.

Alright, fuckos. Let’s do this.

This is a Roberts brainchild, isn’t it. *checks credits* Yup. Knew it. This feels very much like a Roberts special. In that he is probs quite pleased with himself but like, it’s crap.

Yes, we ARE doing ANOTHER rape story! But look! It’s a disassociation montage! It’s the ‘60s, get it?! There are callbacks! An orange from the king in season 2! A vase from season 1! A rabbit from season 3! An amber-looking dragonfly! Jamie with the young hair spouting off book lines! ApPrEcIaTe MuH aRt! We are so good at finding new and creative ways to rape our characters! Fuck off, twatwaffle. You are the worst.

Like, does Roger feel left out at this point? He’s only been hanged. Literally everyone else has either been raped, been sexually assaulted, or been threatened with rape and/or sexual assault.

“But it’s not gratuitous! Look! They’re all so different! Jamie’s was overly graphic and he got a half a season to brood about! We manged to not show much of Fergus’ (but still showed a thrust) because he’s a child and it was just a plot device for Jamie and not actually about him! Mary’s was about Fred! Claire’s with the king was about Jamie! Jamie’s with Geneva was shot like p0rn! Marsali being threatened by the sailors was to motivate Fergus! Bree’s was about the other people in the room and Roger! Claire’s really has no purpose because she’s already been kidnapped and beaten, and that is super traumatic, and we’re gonna wrap it up with a bow by the end of the episode!”

This fucking show, guys. This fucking show.

Bonus points* for the Black character spouting off the superstitious stuff.

*By bonus points I mean this show, and the books are absolute shit on matters of race. The books especially.

The cast and crew have 100% heard everyone’s thoughts on the overuse of rape in the Outlanderverse. And their response has been to include more and more of it. We had a whole season of one character’s arc being about her rape and literally as soon as that was resolved, they gang rape another character. It really does tell you as much as you need to know about them. Lazy. Fucking. Cowards.

Kidnapping not enough trauma? Let’s add some gang rape! Gang rape not enough trauma? Let’s add visualizing that your daughter and grandchild are dead! Just like Fred died! This show really brings trauma p0rn to a whole new level.

Called the Bree and Roger shit.

This scene with the men rallying to go save Claire is like another layer of fuck you. Bree, you stay home, men, give your hero lines and let’s have a getting ready montage. Because your hero moment is what this is really all about. And your manpain about killing someone. *screams into a pillow*

The petty side of me is happy that it was Fergus and Young Ian who are with Claire when they find her and not Roger. Her two sons...

Why yes, I am judging all of the fans who like get their panties all wet over Jamie being like “It is I who kills for her.” Like “yeah go ahead and rape and beat Claire within an inch of her life if it means the big strong man gets to come in and save her and say something intense.” Fuck off and go take a hard look at yourself and what that says about you.

“Was there an Indian there?” “Nope, he wouldn’t help you because LiOnEl but somehow was able to peace out when it was in his interest. Because he is as bad as the ones who actually raped you.”

The Bree and Claire hug makes me both sad and angry. I want to hug them both and take them out of this fucking place and tell them that they’ve been done dirty and deserved fucking better from the writers.

Glad Marsali gets in on the hug. Claire’s two remaining daughters.

Claire’s “I have fucking survived” speech is like the one time she she actually talks about herself not in relation to a man. It’s about her. Claire. HOWEVER! It is epically fucked up that a woman needs to check off all the trauma she’s endured to show she’s a strong character.

So. Fucked. Up.

The fact that we’re spending time on Roger’s manpain about killing someone also really tells us a lot about the show’s feelings toward women. Yeah, killing someone is a big deal. It’s normal and expected to have feelings about it. But the juxtaposition of Claire’s speech about all of her traumas with Roger being like yeah, I killed a guy who had kidnapped, beaten and raped your mom is like, read the room, bro/writers.

The fact that the men put Claire’s rapist in her surgery, her space, her place of healing, where she is able to be most herself, makes me want to punch each and every one of them in the throat. Like seriously. Fuck each and every one of them.

Also Lionel is like cartoonishly terrible. Not that nuance has ever been this show’s strong suit. But like come the fuck on.

Marsali killing Lionel is the one thing about this episode that I didn’t hate. The men are all like “We kill for Claire! Let’s all rally in this montage and go do the manly thing of defending the woman!” Marsali is just like, yeah, that’s my Ma you fucked with. She shows some agency. She doesn’t do it in a performative way for the other men or for Claire like the guys do. She just knows this fuck needs to die, knows it’s gonna be hard for her and might damn her soul (don’t worry Marsali, all that religion crap is bullshit), and does it anyway.

Marsali’s arc has been my favorite of this whole fucking series. The one bright spot I was hanging on to all of this season especially.

Her quick scene with Jamie doesn’t bother me like Roger’s does. Because Roger is like oh no, I killed a guy! Can you forgive me? For killing a rapist? Like fuck off, bro. And Marsali is like yeah, I killed a guy. I hope I’m not damned for it, but the guy needed to die so I did it.

Also like, Richard had potential to not be cartoonishly bad. But like nope. “He reaped what he sowed, but cLeArLy I’m gonna need to escalate this further. Because manly men can’t let shit go.”

Fuck all men, tbh.

*googles how to emigrate to Themyscira*

Jamie’s speech that’s like supposed to parallel Claire’s can fuck all the way off. Giving him the last voice over just underscores how this was all about men. Not Claire. But the men. Fuuuuck everything.

Look! Everything’s fine again! Back to normal! Peaceful for a bit! With a cheesy af on the nose storm coming! So you know something bad’s coming! In case you forgot!

And Jamie got a book line. So it’s all good now.

And don’t worry about Claire, y’all. She feels safe now. Her and Jamie fucked it out.

It’s amazing, in retrospect, that I ever let this story suck me in so much.

Happy Mother’s Day! See you on the other side of the hiatus.

#*#outlander starz #outlander 5x12 #drunj!der yells about outlander #rape in outlander

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gothambatsnews · 6 years

Text

[Podcast Ep 3: Haunted Hot Spots]

TW: Mentions of suicide. Please read at your own risk.

[“Spoiler Alert!” theme song plays, there’s some side conversation that fades in.]

[Stephanie:] “...So then what was I supposed to do, stand there? Come on, you and I both know that’s bullsh-”

[Dick:] [Clears his throat.] “Steph? We’re on.”

[Stephanie:] “Huh? Oh, right right, sorry. Hello Gotham High School! I'm your host, Stephanie Brown and you're listening to Spoiler Alert! I’m here today - well actually tonight, with my co-host Dick Grayson. Hey Dick!”

[Dick:] “Hi Steph!” [It sounds obvious he’s smiling.] “What do we have in store for our lovely listeners, babe?”

[Stephanie:] [Snorts.] “Are you flirting with me?”

[Dick:] “Wouldn’t you like that, huh?”

[Stephanie:] [Gagging noises] “Gross. Babs, do you hear him? Anyways, tonight, we actually have a special episode because we’ll be talking about the three most haunted spots here in our very own Gotham City as a little celebration for Halloween month.”

[Dick:] “Ah yes! Sit tight, grab your little teddy bears, drink your agua and we’ll get right on it. Steph, would you like to start us off?”

[Paper shuffling, screaming in the background.]

[Stephanie:] “Don’t mind that, that’s just Damian and Tim having fun. But I would gladly start us off. So the first one on our list is Sionis Steel Mill. By the way, in no way are we telling you guys to go to these places, they are dangerous.”

[Dick:] “And very off-limits. Please don’t break the law.”

[Stephanie:] “Also a trigger warning for you guys. There are gonna be mentions of suicide in this episode, so if you don’t wanna hear any of them, I’d advise you to stop. So the steel mill was a factory located in the South Bank of Gotham. Had loading docks, it was surrounded by water and you could get there by a bridge. It ran in 1879 and employed lots of people.”

[Dick:] “So you could say it was lively, it had plenty of employees to keep it running. Was it successful?”

[Stephanie:] “Yes, it was.”

[Dick:] “So then why was it shut down? I mean, yeah of course we all know why, it was a spooky story told from elementary school, but for those who don’t know the story? Could you say what happened?”

[Stephanie:] “Of course. So from 1879, it was up and running and it was doing well up until in 1986 when the infamous Sionis Incident occurred. On a fine Gotham sunny day- which honestly isn’t saying much- there was a school who had their field trip there. And while they were given the tour of the place, five students decided they wanted to sneak away from the group. They thought the place would be fun to explore, but it wasn’t until they snuck into the boiling room. One of the boys fell into the big tub with the melted metal, pretty sure there’s a name for that, and died. There were horrible screams, leading the others to panic as they couldn’t save him.”

[Dick:] “Jeez. So then what? Did they call for help or something?”

[Steph:] “Sources say they were trying to find their way back to the group, but then they got lost. At some point, they were found dead in the cooling systems of the mill. This tragic accident forced Sionis to shut down his steel mill, being sued by the parents. He lost all his money with that, and some say he committed suicide in his office.”

[Dick:] “Apparently he’s haunting the place too, like as a kind of protector? Trying to prevent more deaths, though, not really successful. There’s 37 or 38 disappearances reported since the mill had been closed, depending on the sources. But he’s not the dangerous one, obviously. It has been said that the group of teenagers appear to separate people.”

[Stephanie:] “Oooh right right. It’s said that they look really friendly, but all they do is to try to lure people to their inevitable deaths.”

[Dick:] “There shouldn’t be any worry, actually, as Sionis, before dying, nailed the boiling and cooling parts shut, but… well, up to 38 disappearances, like Dick said. It’s not something you can take lightly”

[Stephanie:] “But according to our sources, several people who made it out alive say that you can tell when it’s them. They’re way too friendly, and they usually appear at the same time as the engines start … Well, the sound of the engines starting.”

[Dick:] “And when the teenagers appear, they always appear as the boys who want to show you what they found or the girls needing help to move something. But it’s always the same, to death.”

[Stephanie:] “So this is a warning to you guys, we don’t know whether or not it’s true, but we advise against visiting the place. We don’t need anymore people disappearing. What’s next on the list, Dick?”

[Dick:] “The second most haunted spot in Gotham is…” [Drums his fingers near the mic] “... THE SUTHERLAND MANSION!”

[Stephanie:] [Whispers screams and lightly applauds] “Ahh, ooohhh, spooky. Tell me, what makes it so haunted?”

[Dick:] “Well, you know, it’s that colonial style house in Old Gotham. It’s quite far from the center, so you can’t take the trolley to go there, you either have to walk or take a taxi. But it’s 200 years old, and it has a history quite tragic.”

[Stephanie:] “Then again, all the haunted spots have a tragic history. I don’t think there’s anything you can think up of that has a happy ending, now is there?”

[Dick:] “...No. You’re right.. Wait, what about- Ah, no, nevermind. There was the kid and-”

[Stephanie:] [Snorts] “You thought about the house with the ghost dog, didn’t you?”

[Dick:] “I did, listen I have yet to encounter the ghost dog. I really wanna see a ghost good boy.”

[Stephanie:] [laughs] “Don’t we all. Anyways, Matthew, married his wife Emily and they were very well off. Matthew’s father owned a mining company that was passed down to him when his father died. The house was finished in 1803 and they moved in around the same time Emily gave birth to their first kid, Loraine. Must be nice.”

[Dick:] “What, having a kid?”

[Stephanie:] “No, being better off. I, too, would like something to be handed down and I would become instantly rich. That or I get a nice farm in a far off island.”

[Dick:] [Chuckles] “A surprise grandfather gifting it to you when he dies?”

[Stephanie:] “Exactly!”

[Dick:] “Heh. Anyway, two years later, she gave birth to John, their baby boy, but he dies two months later because of an illness and Emily, out of grief, later kills herself by hanging.”

[Stephanie:] “So much for a happy life” [There’s an obnoxious noise of a candy wrapper being opened]

[Dick:] “Steph, we’re on air!”

[Stephanie:] “And I’m hungry! The students can understand that, can’t they?”

[Dick:] “Okay but we’re in the middle of a sad, tragic story and is that really the appropriate time to eat M&Ms?”

[Stephanie:] “...No. Sorry.” [Candy wrapper noises.] “Okay, there, put away, please, continue. So then what happened to uhhh, what’s his name? Matthew? And Loraine?

[Dick:] “Well, Matthew turned to alcohol to cope. He hired two nannies to take care of Loraine. Apparently though, they abused her because, well, if your employer’s too busy to pay attention to whatever you do and you’re still getting paid, stuff’s gonna go down, right?” [Stephanie:] “Right. Sheesh, and they just abuse her? He didn’t know?”

[Dick:] “I would assume not. Because Loraine actually ends up killing them at age 13. And a few years later, she disappears entirely. And her father wouldn’t find her body until three months later in a well. Finding himself alone, with everyone he cared for and loved dead, Matthew shoots himself on the head with a gun.”

[Stephanie:] “Jeez… I got a question. How do we know about the nannies abusing Loraine?”

[Dick:] “We actually have several journals left both by Loraine, and by a friend of the family, talking about the nannies and the tragedies the family encountered. That and how the mining company failed when Matthew turned to alcohol.”

[Stephanie:] [Candy wrapping noises] “Hmm, ok. So I got the list of the most important phenomenons here… Let me check...” [paper shuffling noises] “Here. And don’t say anything, we’re not in the middle of death and stuff anymore, can I just have my M&Ms?”

[Dick:] “Yeah, yeah. Sharing is caring, Steph.” [More wrapper crinkly noises] “Thaaank you. What do we have today, chief?” [Sound of candy being bitten]

[Stephanie:] [Snorts] “What’s this, an ASMR now? But.. Yeah, right. Let’s start with Matthew. Last to leave, first to be discussed. Apparently harmless, he’s said to wander in the kitchen and the study, and he got the gunshot visible in the back of his head, thought the face apparently would be intact.”

[Dick:] “Harmless? Just wandering?”

[Stephanie:] “Like he’s lost. That or he’s welcoming. A bit sad. Next, sometimes you can see Emily’s corpse hanging where the chandelier would have been, in the main staircase. On the seventh step of the stairs, some people say they can feel something on their neck, maybe like the knot in the rope Emily used before jumping to her death.”

[Dick:] “While talking about harmless, it has been reported that the keys of the piano on the second floor can be seen playing without anyone being nearby to actually play. Emily liked to play, it has been confirmed by the letters. And John’s cries can be heard in the nursery.”

[Stephanie:] “Wasn’t he stillborn though?”

[Dick:] “No no, died of an illness. Not stillborn.”

[Stephanie:] “Can stillborn baby ghosts cry?”

[Dick:] “I don’t know. I’m not an expert, it’s more Tim’s thing.”

[Stephanie:] “Tim, who we would like to thank, he did most of the research for us with his Paranormal Investigation club. Thanks guys!”

[Dick:] “Yeah, thanks a lot!”

[Tim:] [Faint in the background] “You’re welcome!”

[Dick snorts.]

[Stephanie:] “But there aren’t only harmless manifestations. The nannies roam the halls in the second floor in search for Loraine, or pretty much anyone around 13 to kill. That being said, there’s an older Loraine that follows tall brown haired women that look like her nannies. There’s the usual voices and evil laughter every once in a while, but those the nannies are the most creepy ones, especially since they would sometimes run right through unfortunate trespassers.”

[Dick:] “Thaaaaaaat’s… Yeah. I don’t want to go there actually.”

[Stephanie:] “What? You don’t wanna hear Emily play some badass piano? So the last spot we’re gonna be talking about today is arguably the most haunted place in Gotham: Arkham Asylum.”

[Cliche organ music playing.]

[Dick:] “Is that why you had your phone nearby? You were getting ready to play that?”

[Stephanie:] “For effect! And yes, I was. It adds to the creepiness, okay?”

[Dick:] “Oh yes. I’m terrified.”

[Stephanie:] “Shut up. But yeah, Arkham Asylum. Can you feel my excitement, Dick?”

[Dick:] “Yeah, you’re shaking my hand, stop that. Folks, we’ve got a treat for you all because we’re actually broadcasting from inside the asylum! Don’t ask how we got in.”

[Stephanie:] “For that, we’d like to thank Jason. Without him, we wouldn’t be here.”

[Jason:] [In the background] “You make me sound like I’m your dad.”

[Stephanie:] “That’s cause you are, Da-”

[Jason:] [In the background] “Not another step closer, Steph.”

[Stephanie laughs.]

[Dick:] “Gross. But let’s get right on it, shall we? We don’t have much time left anyway.

[Stephanie:] “Right, yes. Let’s dive in.”

[Dick:] “The asylum was thought to be haunted since the big fire that happened in 1957.”

[Stephanie:] “A lot of inmates died, right?”

[Dick:] “Yeah, and-” [Loud shouting in the background.] “DAMIAN, STOP CHASING TIM” [Dick’s voice sounds like he’s turned away from the mic. Damian being vaguely heard in the background.] “I said no! You go back home right away if you keep doing that, let him chase ghosts.”

[A faint groan from Damian. Then, some silence]

[Stephanie:] “Yeaaaaaaaaah ok so, for the ones who don’t know about Arkham, it has four aisles, three floors and a basement. Right?”

[Dick:] “Hm? Ah, yeah, yes. Erm… The Northeast one, don’t go there. Not that it’s the most haunted or anything, but the floors are ready to collapse and we wouldn’t want anyone to get hurt. But despite our best advice to NOT go, some of you will… like how we’re here… We’re not the best role models. But just don’t go in the Northeast aisle, seriously.”

[Stephanie:] “The fire occurred in the Southeast aisle, where smoke can still be smelled. You can also often hear the screams of the trapped inmates.”

[Dick:] “There are several places in the asylum where an architect can be seen, angry and carrying an axe, he’s kinda hostile. And when it isn’t him, it’s the worker, beheaded by him, who tries to warn the visitors. The worker also doesn’t have his hands anymore, so that’s another characteristic. Those two are from the time the asylum was built, around 1900.”

[Stephanie:] “Amadeus Arkham built it for his mother, Elizabeth? That’s what Tim said. She’s thought to haunt the library, in the recreational area. According to some sources, Amadeus ends up killing her, while others say she died from an illness.”

[Dick:] “Arkham is said to be most haunted because unlike the last two we mentioned, this place actually spikes up in activity in the month of October. We’ve already got some audio recordings of screams you can hear here as well as footsteps.”

[Stephanie:] “Which we will post on our Twitter. Give us a follow, @spoileralert.”

[Dick:] “Continuing on. The recreational area is in the Northwest aisle with the kitchen and dining room. Not much to see there but it’s the fastest way to the Solarium” [There’s neon and glitter in his voice when he says ‘solarium’]

[Stephanie:] “YESS! That’s where we’ll go as soon as we’ll be done with this podcast because, let me tell you, lovely listeners, it’s been said that there’s a super secret room under the solarium.”

[Tim] [In the background:] “I could go with Jay and Damian while you finish and-”

[Dick:] “NO! We’re all in this together, Steph and I wanna be there for when it’ll be discovered!”

[Tim:] “Ok ok fine, sheeeeesh.”

[Dick:] “We have no real idea what’s in there, but several documents Tim found indicate a mysterious sect in the asylum, so maybe their headquarters?”

[Stephanie:] “Or a ritual chamber! Maybe they worshipped Outer Gods!”

[Dick:] “Steph, it isn’t Lovecraft, despite what Tim says, Cthulhu doesn’t exist.”

[Tim:] “Actually, Cthulhu isn’t an Outer God but a Great Old One. Just sayin’.”

[Dick:] “Not the point, Tim. But Steph, I highly doubt it’ll be that exciting.”

[Stephanie:] “Oh don’t be a party killer like your father.”

[Dick:] “I’M NOT LIKE-” [Deep breath to calm down.] “Erm. Sorry. Anyway. I think that’s all we had to say about Arkham Asylum for now?”

[Stephanie:] “Yep. We’re also gonna be doing a seance in the secret room if it ever turns out that I was right about the ritual chamber.”

[Dick:] “Oooor if it ever exists.”

[Stephanie:] “If it doesn’t, we’ll just do a seance somewhere else.”

[Damian behind:] “On Drake’s dead body.”

[Tim:] [On the side.] “I’m finally gonna die??”

[Dick:] “NO STOP THAT. No one’s gonna die!”

[Damian:] “Tt.”

[Stephanie:] “I guess that’s all we have for you today. Tonight. Whatever. Any last words?”

[There’s a bit of shuffling with the mic on Dick’s side.] [Jason:] “Yeah, go follow my instagram, my handle is @jaybirdtodd. Like my recent picture, fam.”

[Stephanie:] “Oh my god.”

[Dick:] “Is that the one of you shirtless?”

[Jason:] [At the back.] “Abso-fuckin-lutely.” [Sound of fingers snapping. Most likely finger guns.]

[Stephanie:] “Okay we’ll cut here. This has been Stephanie Brown.

[Dick:] “And Dick Grayson. Featuring Tim Drake, Damian Wayne, and Jason Todd. As always-”

[Stephanie:] “Love and sparkles.”

[End of Episode 3.]

#spoiler alert podcast #sap #stephanie brown #dick grayson #richard grayson #jason todd #damian wayne #tim drake #dc #batfam #batfamily #batkids #season 1

49 notes · View notes

tomioneer · 6 years

Text

yyh rewatch number 11 WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY KIDS NOW

been a few days bc I am BUSY AF irl, and I made it through the dr ichigaki fight--just barely without tears--by watching with a friend. now we’re at episode 35 and watch straight through to 42, and I can’t help but blog about it because HELLOOOO, NINJA BABES

guess who’s here

it’s jin and TOUYA BITCHES

kurama recognizes them, I wonder if he's actually fought them before

I remember that hiei and kuwabara both get taken out of the fight, but can’t recall if genkai does as well

what I figured out when my friend asked why koenma knows genkai’s younger face is that since she was on a mostly human team in the past, she was probably one of the special guests at the tournament? and thus a member of a team koenma technically owned

it’s upsetting that toguro didn’t seem to recognize his EX GIRLFRIEND.

jin speaks so quickly I can hardly understand him

it’s like merida in the new wreck it ralph trailer, just.. irish

ps JERRY FUCKING JEWELL again, for those keeping track

I’m gonna go ahead and mark yusuke and jin down as a ship now before I lose control

also, jin and touya

ship count: 8/400

I should really make a list of whose’ who in that count lol

oh yeah, here’s the medical exam, I remember it

her hair is gorgeous I would marry him if she asked

WOW she doesn’t even take kuwabara just genkai and hiei

a barrier master

and she’s just

oh man she took her coat off and I melted

STOP ELECTROCUTING MY KID BABE

epilepsy warning for this whole arc

koenma you’re a jerk

jin decides to fuck off because he doesn’t like fixed fights, bless him, he’s a terrible shinobi

demon makeup cool. not cool? the FUCKING RACIST image in the back during the explanation. I SAW that feathered headdress, togashi!!

kurama isn’t BOTHERING to attack because he’s observing

and hiei tells us why kurama is going to be fucked

jin is so done with this subterfuge bullshit

the audience is eating this up and touya speaks at last, my love, my darling, my short spiky blue beautiful man

I would kill to be able to put on makeup that perfectly, that easily

I know how kurama finishes this fight, but my friend can’t remember. I love it, this is so good.

“with his hair??” she asks, shocked

“only an amateur depends on arms and legs for victory”--kurama, with a whip coming out of his hair

“How is he controlling that?”

“With his spirit energy?”

isn’t there more behind why this guy is trying os hard? they’re not being blackmailed are they

oh.

there’s more, the patterns--

fuuuuck

and of COURSE his reiki is sealed, and as long as he’s standing--goddamn

wait

touya fights an immobilized kurama?

I don’t remember that!!!! son of a BITCH

“how will yusuke’s shattered team survive” asks the narrator. “This is bad” says yusuke

this is not good

I hate that kurama seemed to observe that gama’s paint was made of blood but didn’t like. pay attention to it?

friend just punned: “Touya is a cool dude”

I’m screaming she hates puns

one of the black black club just asked sakya why he is sharing “Ass space” with demons. fucking. what.

why does the committee want yusuke so dead, when they invted him? I guess that’s the whole REASON they invited him, ugh.

genkai tries to be optimistic for the first time in this series, and kiei shuts her down immediately

ohhhh the shinobi just need attention so they keep getting jobs

koto freezes to death, it’s very sad

touya somehow thinks a theif can’t keep running.. and seems to be right

“running like a baby is perfectly brave if the odds are uneven enough”--Koenma’s words of wisdom

such an inspiring leader the spirit world has

doesn’t he smudge the seal withhis own blood HEY he does

I am remembering these things seconds before it comes into play

touya’s attacks are honestly amazing

koto is a bit twisted

kurama plants something in himself, and then that’s what holds him immobile for the next guy right?? the big one yusuke kills

why doesn’t touya know who he is??? I thought, if they called him a traitor, we could ASSUME they knoew who kurama was??

why was touya blishin’?

the ICE SWORD man oh man one of my old old old old mary sues had that attack

oh yeah there it is, the arm wound, he plants it in that

“son of a frickin bitch”--yusuke urameshi

Koenma: Why do I get the feeling our most intelligent fighter is about to do something incredibly stupid?

Kurama: Let me do what I must... *does something stupid*

touya decides they’re friends now, so he wants to kill kurama painlessly

is touya fucking DEAD

oh good he’s alive

but also it’s not good

oh but okay kurama won

three more then

I know kurama vs. bakken is terrible

kurama also thinks they’re friends

faint heartbeat

amazing

ah, bakken

I hate him

“a fighter standing in the ring cannot be removed agains this will. as will cannot be determined...”

hatred

hiei is ready to go to war for his man

how is that motherfucker even a shinobi

yikes that last shot of the ep is absolutely awful

yusuke promises the audience that of he goes, it will be with a bang. I remember more of a whimper when sensui kills him.

who is that last guy on team masho? I remember bakken, and it’s clearly jin, but the third one, I can’t remember

BAKKEN JUST BITCH SLAPPED KOTO

yusuke is my BOY

I love him

this “kill the traitor” count is just. horrible

kuwabara is STILL out for the count

kick his ass baby boy

yusuke is my hero

why is uh. bakken sweating so much

mist made from his own uh. sweat. that’s pretty nasty

yusuke: I hate saunas.

I don’t remember this fight taking even this long???

yusuke has such great eyelashes

boy is already so like. pumped to fight jin.

yusuke just used eighth grade science”you can get on your hands an knees and start begging.and maybe, just maybe, I’ll listen.”--yusuke urameshi

KILL HIM YUSUKE

he’s ready to commmit murder and it’s amazing

jin didn’t even flinch

“That’s a pretty good fight”

kurama’s gorgeous and also awake

he’s making plant jokes and I hate it

I STILL DONT REMEMBER THIS RISHO BITCH

look how great these kids are.

I DID remember about ruka’s barrier thing healing hiei

no way jin can’t fight first if he does how does yusuke fight him SECOND????

“If I win my whole team’s screwed and if I lose I have to fight again.”

jin is amazing. seriously. also, can these boys get married please?

you know I’m a multi shipper right

well that was a fun match, sad it’s over

jin is just

such a happy guy I love it

they call them brothers but really the chu thing is much closer to that

“ass space” bbc guy now claims to pull the tournament committee by his the “ass hairs”

so quick!!

kuwabara seems insistent on the fact that he is “spiritually aware” in situations where he lacks that talent to actually observe

yusuke lands exactly one punch and jin floats up to let the impact wear off

“Hey, I needed that!” says yusuke when his spirit gun is deflected by jins wind

jin thinks he’s very funny

he’s right

why is boan lashing out at kuwabara, when she’s supposed to be TREATING HIM

somehow Jin with his irish accent--or rather, Jerry fucking jewell with his irish accent--isn’t triggering at all lmao. maybe because this is how I prefer him

yusuke’s hero eyes, at it again

how many reigun shots does yusuke have left?

jin’s so good at fights I love him so much

“something always comes ot me at the end” say yusuke about his battle stretegy

hiei

genkai, sarcastic: you truly havbe a way with women, hiei

JIN IS HUMMING LOVE HIM

yusuke plans to try the spirit wave, somehow forgetting his shotgun move???

shizuru once again knows exactly what’s up

bless the kuwabara family sixth sense

it’s so weird how genkai is speaking in third person

have I mentioned how much I love Jin’s eyes?

yusuke call shimself a freak because he enjoys fighting

okay we’re back to who the fuck risho is???

if jin’s the official captain---

oh my god I just screamed when risho revealed himself and dropped my laptop holy shit

like a gut punching, throat-tearing godawful scream.

“IT’S YOU!!!”

oh my god I don’t reember anyting about him other than earth and rocks and how much I HATE HIM

does he fight kuwabara? yukina just showed up trying to get in to see the tournament, does she heal kuwabara for this fight?

touya comes up. does risho attack him? that would explain why I hate him

yusuke defends koto, who he doesn’t like

hiei

i love

these two children are so angry

lkjlkjdasdflkjsadfkhjsdfasdf;lkjsadf

shizuru finds yukina and recognizes her from watchign that video, bless her

girls helpin’ girls

kuwabara was never technically ruled ineligible to fight, and I hate life

ginger son, don’t do it

he is so goddamn fucking helplessly sacrificial

yukina, go inside and heal your goddamn boyfriend

yukina is looking for her brother, oh SHOCK

shizuru intimadates an entire crowd of demons

her legs oh my god

just wait kuwbara, your girl with healing powers will be there soon

kuwabara is doing his best

keiko gets hit on by a bouncer and murders him

shizuru once again takes out a demon

can kuwabara shizuru marry kino makoto please???

risho is a dick

koto is clearly a sado-masochist

hiei GET OUT OF THERE

ruka is just like. a fetish indulgence of the artists. I know she’s hot but how long are they going to draw this out?

koto: I’m goign to take the ocunt now, so everybody make sure to tell me how I’m doing it wrong, okay?

savage

START the DOUNT KOTO, he’s OUT of the ring

shizuru WRECK THEM

oh yukina has ptsd flashbacks when she runs into toguro

sakyo lets shizuru escape bless her

kuwabara prepares to sacrifice his ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE and becomes telpathic?? bless

kuwabara can’t imagine what to say to yusuke, who means so much to him, goddamnit

yukina is in the stadium, babies

YOU’VE GOT TO BELIIIIIIIIIIIIEVE IN THE POWER OF LOOOOVE

IT GIVE MEANING TO EACH MOMENT

IT’S WHAT OUR HEARTS ARE ALL MADE OF (just look inside)

oh my god

amazing

“That’s my girlfriend!”--Kuwabara Kazuma, aged fourteen

yusuke is astounded by his boy

koto isn’t counting either of them

SPIRIT SWORD

GET IN THE RING

damn kuwabara

I can’t beleive he did it that’ s an highly unlikely triumph

hiei

“She’s... really here.”

Kuwabara bonds with yukina while keikpo and keiko FINALLY talk

KILL HIM BABY GIRL

pls get married

t;dr I would marry shizuru in a heartbeat if I didn’t know she was meant for sailor jupiter

shoutout to @batmares!!! thank you ever so much for joining me today for the Urameshi vs. Ninja arc of the dark tournament saga!

#yyh #yyh rewatch #jin #touya #genkai #hiei #kurama #kuwabara kazuma #team masho #team mashotsukai #gama #angst #dark tournament arc #dark tournament saga

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