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the12thnightproject · 5 months

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Chapter 32: Renegotiation. Yeah, that previous contract is going up in flames.

Mitsuhide x OC; Hideyoshi x MC (Mai)

All Chapters Archived on Ao3

Logline - With Mai, Hideyoshi, and Aki missing, Mitsuhide and Katsuko reluctantly team up. Disguised as a merchant and his concubine, can they outsmart the man known as the God of Deceit?

M rated chapter, Minors DNI

It was as if the hallway was neutral territory, a fragile tentative peace, and any words or action would shatter it.

I took Mitsuhide’s hand, and he silently led me back to his room, where the windows were still open to the night. If I expected him to fall upon me in sudden passion, I would have been disappointed. Instead, he walked me to the center of the room, then took his time creating an atmosphere.

He lit that incense, shuttered lanterns, blew out candles until I was standing in a pool of moonlight.

When he moved to shade the window, I finally spoke. "Don't." I wanted to see him. More than that, I wanted him to see me. To know it was me, not Mai. It mattered. It was too late for me to turn back, and I wouldn't, not now, even if he was fantasizing me as someone else, but I wanted him to be reminded whenever he looked at me, just who it was with him.

He hesitated at the open window then gazed back to me while the moonlight softened the sharp angle of his cheekbones. For the first time, I could see that I was not the only one who had been caught up in indecision. Finally, he turned away from the moon, leaving the window uncovered as I had asked.

He strolled over to me slowly. I don’t believe that he was giving me one last chance to change my mind again, no, this was him being theatrical. When he met me in the center of the room, he reached out, and freed my hair from the complicated knot that Mai had helped me achieve this morning. It curled around my face, wavy, because it had been damp from a bath I had taken on board Nobunaga’s ship when we'd put it up.

He took his time pushing my hair this way and that, to the point that I couldn’t stop myself from saying, "If you wanted a doll to play with, you should find a child’s toy."

He left off his stylistic interpretations, then destroyed whatever he’d been trying to do with it by tangling his hands in it. "Impatient?"

I shrugged, not really having the courage to talk through my I-don’t-know-if-it’s-me-you-want-or-what-you-are-doing-with-me-to-begin-with crisis. I mean… he hadn’t even tried to kiss me yet. I didn’t know if the theatrics were to benefit him or me. Maybe this was just his style?

"Ah." As if my shrug had answered his question, he slithered behind me, standing so close that I felt the rhythm of his heartbeat through our clothes. He wrapped one arm around my waist, holding me close as he pushed my hair to the side and bared the back of my neck. As always his fingers felt cool against my skin.

After a couple of feather-like touches across my neck, almost as if he were drawing an invisible X, I felt his lips press against that spot, just as lightly and gently as his finger had traced it. Without moving, he undid my sash, easily, dexterously, and it slid to the floor. The cool night air tickled my skin, and I shivered when he tugged my sleeve down.

I was nearly dressed still, just one shoulder exposed to the room, to him.

After another whisper of a kiss on my skin, he stepped away. "Don't move.”

Of course I moved.

I turned to watch him rummage through bottles he had on the shelf, lifting one, then another, as if he were a mad scientist. When he turned back to me, he was holding two small jars – some kind of perfume, maybe? The only acknowledgment that I had disobeyed and moved, was a tiny lifting at the corner of his mouth. He had known I would watch him.

"What are those?" The room already was smoky from the incense. I didn’t see the point in adding another aroma. Were these the scents that Mai wore? What if, being unable to darken the room enough to fool his eyes, he was determined to confuse his olfactory sense instead?

He wouldn’t go that far would he? I pushed that thought away. No. He wouldn’t be that obvious. He wouldn’t be that callous.

"This,” he held up one jar, "was what I used on your headache. This," he held up the other, "is what I sometimes use on myself when I'm sore after a long day." He pulled a little of each into his hands, then rubbed them together.

Oh. I was about to get a massage. Or whatever passed for one in this era.

Carry on.

"Did you think I was about to slather an aphrodisiac all over you?" He chuckled to himself. "I hadn't thought of that, but if that is something you have an interest in... I could probably find an applicable oil." He made a move toward the shelf.

"I'm good." No need to tell him what I had really been worried about. "Er, should I lie down?" It had been a very long time since I'd had an actual massage, but generally they were conducted lying down. Or seated.

"Should you?"

Great. I'm in the middle of a seduction by Socratic dialogue.

He took me by the hand again, led me over to the futon, and wordlessly indicated where I should sit. Once I was kneeling on top of the mattress, he positioned himself behind me and placed his hands on my shoulders.

My unfastened kimono slipped lower over each arm, and I held it up to my chest to stay covered. Mitsuhide tsked, but didn’t otherwise comment. As he began to work on muscles that had been sore so long that I’d stopped noticing the pain, and press away the tension I'd kept there for… Well for far longer than the seven years I'd been living here. Soon, the oils began to sink in, alternately warm and cool at the same time.

"Dear me, you do appear to be rather tight," he said, carefully working the oil deeper into the muscles, his palms pushing a circular pattern around and over my shoulders, the hot and cold of mint and eucalyptus radiating in concert. He even pressed his fingertips to the base of my skull, and I dipped my head lower to give him more access.

Hmm, forget about having sex, I could just fall asleep right he-

“Dear me, we can’t have that.” He reached around to cup my breasts, rubbing his thumb over my nipples, and those oils that had been so lovely on my sore muscles evoked a completely different response.

I caught my breath, once, then again when, without warning, he bit my earlobe. Was the back and forth between a cool, an almost impartial touch and, this, this heated kiss along to the side of my neck, his way to stay in control, to keep me off balance? I ought to resent it, but at the moment my body was telling my brain, “don’t worry, I got this, you just go take a break now.”

As he continued to lavish attention on my neck, he turned my face toward his, until he finally kissed me on the mouth. Lightly at first, with the slightest pressure. When I shifted to face him, to give myself better access to him, he turned with my action, pressing me back, with, should I describe it as balletic grace?

So odd to think of it that way, but it was like a dance indeed as we melted backward, allowing gravity to take us to the futon. The kiss deepened and I lost myself in it, digging my fingers into his back.

Maybe that was the signal he had been waiting for. He bit my lip, then again, and even a third time, his teeth scraping against my flesh. Finally, he slid his tongue into my mouth, tasting me, tickling, teasing and I sighed into him. Had I been worried that there would be no kissing, that worry was chased away by his kiss.

For, oh I have no idea how much time passed, we kissed, and only kissed. Though our bodies naturally rubbed up against each other (maybe that was just me, pulling on him, gripping him closer), we were both still mostly dressed. True, my kimono had fallen open long ago, but even with that, only our mouths were involved in these kisses. Clearly Mitsuhide believed in taking his own time for things.

In one of the few moments that my brain restarted, I noticed that he was holding himself almost in a plank position over me, braced upon his elbows, and I had the hysterical image of planking sex becoming the newest internet trend. I choked off a snort of laughter, but not before Mitsuhide noticed. "What is it?"

"Private joke, one which will lose too much in the telling to explain." This was not the time to go into the time travel revelation, let alone the bermuda triangle of yoga, dangerous stunts, and the internet.

"If you have the space for private jokes, I am not doing this correctly." Before I could assure him it had been a momentary mental blip and not a complaint, Mitsuhide upped the intensity of his attention.

By which I mean he started sucking at the hollow of my throat, while he ground his hips against mine. I arched off the futon in response and I could feel him smirking into my neck. "I thought you would enjoy that. Though, this area is likely in need of attention as well." While he continued kissing my neck, he reached over to caress my breast, thumbing the nipple about two degrees short of pain and likely one degree short of the pressure that would have had me exploding on the spot. There was nothing for me to do but hold on, I... might um, have tugged on his hair slightly before I changed my grip, clutching his hips, trying to pull us closer. "Not so fast. We have all night."

He let up a moment to breathe into me, and I unwound slightly.

All night? There it is, apparently his actual torture specialization is six hours of foreplay.

"That's an adorable pout you're wearing." He kissed my forehead, unaware of my inner horror at being considered pouting. "No?' You wouldn’t characterize it so?"

OK. Totally aware. "Pouting... it's immature. It’s not undignified." I tried to right the balance by pulling out my best glare. I had overheard him, on board Nobunaga’s ship, teasing Mai about her pouting, I was now reminded that I was not his first choice.

"It was a compliment, but that is of no consequence. It seems I find your glare and that now rebellious expression equally as charming." He rubbed his thumb along my lip before adding, "If I may be permitted to say."

"Like I could stop you." I’m sure that if I had tried to cover his mouth, he would only bite my hand. Which might actually be kind of ho- Nope. Not going there.

He only laughed. "Charming indeed, but I'm now compelled to put a different look on your face." That was all the warning I had before he kissed his way down my body, lavishing attention on each breast, while one hand rested casually between my legs. As the kisses increased, he would pause only to take a breath, the air puffing cool across my skin.

And with each breath, he would slide his hand upward, teasing little strokes, enough to increase my need, without giving me satisfaction. I couldn’t prevent moaning even though I'm sure that's exactly what he was waiting for, what he would have considered a victory, a domination, but one of pleasure, not of pain.

As if on cue, he stopped. "This would be the moment when the begging should commence."

"If that’s really what you are waiting for, then this is also the moment when the leaving will commence." If he was waiting for me to beg, he was going to grow old and wrinkled before that occurred.

"I assumed as much. I was simply offering you a point of education." He moved his hand upward, his thumb sharply pressing on me and I gasped at the resulting bolt of desire that zipped through my body. "Should I also assume by the way you're breathing that you would like to have your release?"

"That would be appreciated, yes." I knew he'd been prolonging things on purpose, and as enjoyable as it was, I wished that he had a bit less self control.

There was no denying that the physical gratification was off the charts. But a part of me that I didn’t want to examine, felt lonely, I pushed that back. Not lonely. Just unbalanced. Why am I the only one nearly losing control here?

If I wanted him to be equally affected, then … Why lie back and wait, when I could... Two can play at this game, sir. Until this moment I'd simply been hanging on, holding him as close as possible, allowing him to set the pace.

Bracing myself, I changed my center of gravity, and pushed against his shoulder. Possibly he hadn't been expecting that, because it was easy to flip us over. Taking advantage of the higher ground I quickly straddled him, using all of my weight to press down on his shoulders, taking a chance to carress his lean muscles. I wanted to touch him too. "Your turn.” I wiggled my butt across his erection, to make my point.

But as I reached to untie the sash of his hakima, he grabbed my hand. "No." I must have looked as confused as I felt, for he added, "I do not wish for you to have to deal with a child."

Oh. Well. “A while ago, I met a kuinoichi. And as we both were staying at the same Inn, we had time to talk about our lives. She told me about a Chinese tea that is supposed to prevent conception. She assured me it worked, all of them dr-." At the last moment I realized it probably wouldn’t be prudent to mention who “they” worked for. Not that I had met her employer personally, but I knew he was an enemy of the Oda. “Um, all of the women in her, um, team drink it."

"Given who I suspect she works for, that's probably for the best." Of course Mitsuhide had figured that out without hearing the proper name.

“And while at the time, I didn’t think that I would willingly put myself in the position where I would need it, I knew that even my male disguise wouldn’t be enough to prevent me from unwillingly being in that state.” The dark look that crossed his face – yeah, he realized what I was talking about. “I’m good in a fight. And I’m fast at running away when I need to. But I acquired that tea, and I drink it, regularly.”

Almost regularly. I had not had any tea during the concussion week and I had not been able to drink it during the time we had been on Motonari’s ship, though I didn’t think the timing would… Hmmm. I thought again. He was correct. I did not want a child either, and as disappointed as I felt about not experiencing a more intimate connection with him, I was grateful for his consideration.

"Still, Brat, I would do my best to protect you, and as such," he easily flipped me back onto my back and returned his his hand to the valley between my thighs. "We will proceed in this fashion."

With a bit more assertiveness this time, he soon had returned me to the edge. He inserted two fingers inside me, his hand mimicking the thrust that he would not allow his body to take. I wanted to protest that it wasn’t fair to him, but then I caught a glimpse of his face in a rare unguarded expression. That distance he normally kept between himself and the world was gone, and though he was not smiling, the relaxed set of his lips suggested that he was indeed enjoying himself.

“Allow me to do this for you.” His whisper was so soft, I could almost have imagined it. “Close your eyes, Katsuko.” He gently kissed my eyelids closed then covered my mouth with his.

Soon my body had taken on that rhythm of his hand, and I moaned. “More.” As if that was the signal he had been waiting for, he pressed his hand harder and faster until I exploded around him. Then while I was still figuring out if I could remember how to breathe, he used that same hand, still wet from my body, on himself, and finally took his own release with a harsh exhalation.

I dozed off soon after, curling into him, while he lightly massaged my hip. If he slept, I don’t know...? Every time I woke up (as I often do, even when I don't have the distraction of another in the bed with me) he appeared to be awake as well, and he would pat my back or brush my hair out of my face while I drifted back off. Generally, we didn’t speak during these moments which hovered awkwardly on the border of intimacy and anomie. Which was why, in the darkest night, after the moon set, I was surprised to hear him ask, "What is a Tonisstark?"

Tonisstark? Toni Sstark? Tony Stark? Err... "Why are you asking?"

His tone hovered between concern and humor. "You talk in your sleep... rather constantly and-"

"I do? Are you sure?" I would have thought he was teasing me, but, no he couldn't have pulled Ironman’s name out of thin air.

"Very certain... don’t worry that you're spilling Aki's secrets, none of it makes any sense... but this tonisstark seemed to be upsetting to you." He took my hand and turned his fingers in mine, a gesture that seemed to me to be the most romantic move he had ever made toward me. It hurt, knowing that he'd likely made it out of friendship.

"Oh. Tony Stark was my cat. He died a long time ago. But, well. He was a great cat." If I ever decided to stay in one place, I might get another, but the life of a courier is not really suitable for most cats. On the heels of that thought was the realization that a dog might be more willing to follow me across the country.

I should look into that.

"Unusual name for a cat. Sounds western." The interrogator was back in his voice, but it held a benign curiosity.

Maybe I should have explained the time travel… but it was late, and with Mai still keeping this information from him, it was simpler for me to lie. "It is. Francisco brought the cat to his lover, but she didn’t want him." Well, it could have happened that way. Francisco was often bringing gifts to Fume, and had he ever brought her a cat, I imagine the poor feline would have met with rejection. True, Aki's house usually had a cat or two wandering in and out, but they were semi-feral, and only around to catch mice and stay warm in winter.

Apparently satisfied with my answer Mitsuhide pulled me close again. "There is at least one resident cat at Azuchi. Kitty is Mitsunari's, but she does have a regular visiting circuit around the castle. I'm certain you'll encounter her."

Uh yeah. About that..."I'm not going to Azuchi."

His hand tensed. "I realize it’s not what you wished for, but I cannot stay here any longer."

I turned to look at him, but the moon had set, and his face was hidden in the shadows. There had been regret and determination in his voice. I cannot stay was not the same as I do not want to stay.

Something happened.

Something he was keeping from me.

Even now, I was not a partner. I was, as I had always been… an employee. "I'm not asking you to stay in Sakai. I'm releasing you from the rest of our contract."

"You are, are you?" His voice was soft in the pre-dawn darkness.

"I get that you need to be back in Azuchi. But there may still be some leads here that I can follow." Well... depending on what Aki’s letter said, there might be. I put as much nonchalance and ‘I don’t need your help’ into my voice as possible, and repeated. "I'm not going to Azuchi. There’s no place for me."

"You undervalue yourself. If we don’t find Akihira, you have plenty of skills to make yourself valuable at Azuchi. Your language facility alone would be enough for Nobunaga to employ you as a translator." Again though, his tone was cool, as if he were simply discussing options with a friend.

“I know. Actually he offered me a job the first time I met him. But that wasn't what I meant." I put my hand on his heart. "There's no room for me here."

That was as far as I was prepared to go in an admission of love. Mitsuhide was smart enough to understand what I meant anyway. There was a long moment of silence, in which a tiny, ok not so tiny, part of me hoped he would contradict me. And as much as I did not want this night to end, I wished for the sunrise to allow me to see his face.

When I couldn’t stand the silence any longer, I said, "If Francisco has no other suggestions, I plan to return to Aki’s house at The Mountain and go though his desk. Honestly, I should have gone back to the Mountain as soon as I realized he was missing.”

There was no acknowledgement of my confession. Instead, he changed the topic. “From what I gleaned from Aki and Kyubei, I gather this place in the mountains is out of the way. Safe from invasion. Safe even from raiders.”

That was more than true. “Once it snows, if it’s a harsh winter, no one will be coming or going anywhere.” Except… Aki. Even in the worst blizzards he always managed to reappear when scheduled. Almost as if… he had a way to time travel… from the Mountain? I put that on the list of things to investigate when I got back there. That, and maybe it was time for a long talk with Fume. How much did she know? “His chatelaine and I don’t get along very well, and I know she'll put me back to work scrubbing floors. All winter. Cleaning up mud and melted snow."

He idly picked up my hand again and ran his fingers along the calluses that Sho never had been able to eradicate. "Maid? I can't see it."

"It is rather a long story." One that now we were parting, there was no time for. It was still pitch dark outside, a sign that winter was closer than ever. I made a move to get up. Having stated my intention to leave, there was no sense in dawdling.

He pulled me back to him, "Until sunrise. I did intend to give you a night you'll never forget." He already had, but I wasn’t strong enough to turn him down. This time, he caressed me with even more gentleness. Not that he'd been rough before, but instead of demanding a response, he coaxed, instead of stretching things out, he savored... had I been with this man at the beginning of the night, I might not have made the decision to leave.

But in the wake of my confession, his consideration felt akin to pity, and so when the sun illuminated the room, it was without second guessing that I packed my things, turned myself into Katsu and left Kaya behind… except for the turquoise yukata (I couldn't bear to abandon that) and the lock picks (useful on every locked door except the one inside Mitsuhide's heart).

@lorei-writes @selenacosmic @bestbryn @lyds323 @tele86 @akitsuneswife

#10things #10 things I hate about Mitsuhide #ikemen sengoku #fanfic #mitsuhide monday #mitsuhide akechi #ikesen mitsuhide #ikesen fanfic #katsuverse #oc katsuko

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httplovecraft1890 · 1 year

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Spy x Family AU Fic Idea

I finally managed to catch up with cour two of Spy x Family's season one. While watching episode 14, I specifically wondered how things might've ended up had Anya and Bond been unable to save Loid from Keith Kepler's bomb. Story idea? Maybe... It would probably be hard to understate how devastated Anya would be from the loss of Loid in her life. After all, she really thought she could turn things around for Papa, but came up short when trying to do so. Any goodwill she felt from getting her first Stella Star probably evaporates overnight. The mission, after all, is now meaningless - or at least appears to be. I do wonder if she'd actively avoid watching Spy Wars from that point on (since it's a potential traumatic trigger) or if she'd sink deeper into her obsession given that it provides her a safe, child-friendly version of spycraft to live vicariously through. I don't think she'd blame Bond; she knows what it feels like to be abandoned so she'd probably still ask Yor if they can adopt him.

For Yor… she blamed herself for Loid going off to the bathroom, even in canon, due to her cooking and she might very well swear it off entirely if she perceived it as having resulted in his accidental death. I suspect she'd still come to the realization that she loved (loves?) him in hindsight but who knows when that would be. At this point, I don't think there's a doubt she would go all in on being Anya's mom since she'd probably feel obligated to do so, besides the fact she also clearly wants to be hers anyway. Does Anya tell Yor about her telepathy and about Operation Strix? I think she very well might. I can't imagine a scenario where she lets Yor wallow in self-hatred, even if she's terrified that her mom might blame her for not saying something earlier and return her back to the orphanage. The war that was speculated to erupt does, I think, and that makes them both needing to be safe paramount. WISE is almost certainly operating in a reduced capacity after it just lost its best agent, not to mention that the border is no longer as porous as it used to be. What happens between Nightfall, Yor, and Anya could be quite interesting but I"m not really sure how that'd play out (though maybe this could lead to a Fiona/Yor ship since the main obstacle for both is now, uh, not around). No doubt Fiona, if she encountered Yor, would hate her here even more than she does in canon. Maybe she'd even end up taking the Twilight moniker to honor him as well as not let it slip he was KIA? There are certain things that frustratingly unclear. For example: is Ostania able to engage in a war successfully or did Kepler jump starting it mean that it's doing so with more limited resources? The National Unity Party would seize on it and I'm assuming Donovan Desmond ends up as prime minister in the event of some snap election but who knows how it would pan out for them. The SSS might be able to suppress internal dissent but that might not matter depending on how things go militarily. All of that said, I do still think Anya would try to proceed with Operation Strix in some form or fashion. She wanted it to succeed before so Loid would keep her around after it was finished if she proved herself useful but it'd be even more pressing now to do it in his memory. I'd also assume that Yor would probably try to involve herself as well, with perhaps Franky and Fiona doing so too somewhere along the way. I had a bit of fun with a plot bunny on an older post with the idea of Yor posing as a secretary for Desmond to secretly act as a bodyguard and that could very well be applicable here - only the intent being to assassinate him instead rather than imagining the Garden as a secret tool of his to eliminate opposition (or who knows, maybe they still are, but Yor ends up breaking with them over Loid's death and their potential unwillingness to help her). Not gonna be a good time for poor Damian in this scenario. Yuri's a bit of a cipher. He might want to do everything in his power to keep his sister safe, but would that include betraying his position and country to do so here? Once he finds out she's doing it for Loid, of all people, he might not be so keen but she is his primary obsession in life. Regardless, definitely leaves the possibility of fun cat-and-mouse games between the two Briar siblings as they try to tiptoe around their secret identities with one another. Then again, without Loid in Yor's life, it's possible he might soften to Anya's presence a bit; he'd be a weird as hell paternal replacement, but she might cling to him because he's a familiarity in a now very unfamiliar world.

Melinda could also totally factor in, but I dunno how.

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herr-aka-somecutenerd · 2 years

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Witch's Love

Chapter II: We got all ingredients except you loving me.

Yandere! Sophia (Herr) x Idia Shroud

Warnings: light yandere themes, possesive/obsessive love, mentioned women's problems going outside in the dark time, self ship

A/N: No but I enjoy writing these... it's kind of canonical story of how our relationship developed, but shown a little uh... darker? Not too dark tho ofc!

The night went further. It probably was 3 AM already. I started to feel drowsy eventually, my eyes getting heavier and my brain going blank.

No-no-no, not now, not when we're having so much fun together, please, just little longer!

"Sophia-shii...?" - I heard Idia's soft voice. So soft, so gentle every time he speaks with me...

"Yeah?..." - I replied quietly and in a dizzy manner. I really felt like I can't keep it any longer, no matter how hard I struggle.

"You seem to loose the concentration and become slower... Are you sure you're not tired?" - he said, genuinely concerned. He even paused the game, much to my demise.

"Uh..." - I really hated to admit what came next. - "Okay, maybe... I'm just a little bit... sleepy..."

I refused to take energy drinks as I was aware of them being unhealthy. Maybe it's just my mother's forced opinion, but it's not like my mom was rarely right... And even coffee I drank earlier didn't seem to work.

I looked at him, feeling kind of guilty. For some reason I felt like I was ruining the fun... even if Shroud didn't seem too upset about it and more likely worried... about me. How adorable!

Suddenly, Idia's hair started step by step turning pink, starting from edges.

"I-it's already so l-late... A-and girls' block i-is so far... Y-you can g-get in trouble o-on your w-way... S-so..." - speaking seemed to be hard for him. I was already figuring out what he's going to say, or at least was hoping he'll say what I think, and that made my heart beat faster ad faster. Please, say that you want me to...

"...M-maybe you'll stay h-here? I'll be playing the w-whole night, so my bed will be all free.... A-and I promise I w-won't do anything c-creepy!!"

My face turned even brighter shade of pink than his hair did at the end of Idia's sentence. Butterflies started live up one by one in my stomach. I couldn't be more happy than I am right now. It was like a child getting a pet they wanted so much from their parents when they didn't expect that. Like winning in a lottery. Like getting an ultra rare character or item you wanted. Like hearing your crush confessing their feelings to you.

Ah, Idia... You really are so caring and sweet. You even think about how dangerous it can be for a woman to walk outside during the dark time, especially when there are so many men around. A perfect man a girl can only dream of.

"Idia... Y-you're too kind", - I said, blushing and stuttering not less that him. - "I-I don't want to cause discomfort for you..."

What am I doing? It's such a great opportunity to be close to your beloved boy, Sophia. Are you stupid?

Well, I do care about his own well-being after all... Geez.

"N-no, you're not causing discomfort for m-me! W-we're not going to s-sleep t-together after all, s-so I can b-bear it...", - the last line kind of touched me, but I decided not to pay attention to that too much. - "D-don't g-get me wrong! I-I'm just... I-it's not you specifically, i-it's j-just embarassing... Oh God, help me..." - Shroud hid his face in his hands, making my heart melt once again at how adorable he was.

"It's okay, I understand", - I almost patted his shoulder to calm him down, but stopped myself. It can cause reverse effect on him, after all. - "S-so... may I go to sleep then?"

Idia put his hands down, looking at me with running glance. He was still tomato red and anxious... like a scared cat...

"Y-yes! L-lay comfortably, h-hehe..." - I swore my heart jumped a little at his laugh. In a good way.

With a shy smile I got up from my place and headed towards his bed. A little messy, but clean. Just like Idia. He might be messy in some way but he's still pretty and amazing. I landed on the mattress. My body was so heavy, my limbs became numb. The scent hit my nostrills... Idia's scent. So calming and comforting... That was making me even more dizzy.

"Huh... It feels comfortable..." - I said in a kind of mumbling manner caused by sleepiness.

"Y-you think so?" - Idia replied shyly. - "W-well... G-glad to hear that I g-guess", - he smiled at me slightly, making my heart beat faster once again.

"So... Good night", - I said, wrapping myself in a blanket and yawning.

"G-good night... s-sleep well", - Shroud said, probably feeling awkward, judging from his tone.

Inhaling more of his scent when he turned back to the screen, I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep, hoping to get the sweetest dream tonight.

You're so kind to me... You do care about me, right? You wouldn't allow anyone else to sleep on your bed, would you? I do really love you, Idia. One day I'll gain enough courage to tell you about that... I promise.

#herr writes #self ship #f/o #idia shroud #twst #twisted wonderland

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sillylittlestoryblog · 3 years

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Jesper Fahey Imagine

Jesper x female Reader

This is my first imagine ever. So pls don’t be to harsh😅

Also i m not a native English speaker so if I made horrible mistakes pls tell me nicely🙂

+ I m new to the grishaverse so there is a lot I just made up... again If I made horrible mistakes.. enlighten me 🥰

I wanna post this with he/him and they/them pronouns too. Just so nobody feels left out ✨

The winter air was terrible cold against y/n`s ears. Instinctively, she buried her face further into her scarf. She hated this time of year, especially in ketterdam. Because of the docks and the sea, it was even colder here than in her former home. She came to Ketterdam years ago, but she still didn’t seem to have gotten used to the city. The city with its dark alleys and dangerous corners. She had been told to get a decent job. Never be Outside in the dark. And above all she should Stay Out of the criminal gangs and their streetfights. And yet here she was, running again in the direction of the Crow Club to meet dirtyhands in person.

After the heavy oak door closed behind her, she took a deep breath. The warm air felt wonderful on her skin. There wasn't too much going on in the club tonight. Which pleased her very much.

" well who do we have here? I was afraid that you wouldn't come because of the snowstorm out there. ”Jesper's voice sounded happily through the room. In his hand he was holding a drink that he halfway spilled on his way to her.

Y / N didn't want to admit it, but she was happy to see him. Most of all, she was pleased that he was already a Bit drunk, so she hoped he wouldn't notice how she blushed while he hugged her.

Together they went to a table in a quieter corner of the crow club. Kaz Brekker sat there with his crowcane in his hand and sighed as Y/N and Jesper approached. Shortly afterwards she noticed Inej emerging from the shadows. She quietly sat down next to Kaz, keeping a safe distance as always. Y / N wasn't sure if she was doing it to give Kaz more space or to better protect herself. Y/N sat down next to Nina who was sitting on the other side of the table and apparently had a lot of fun giving a already drunken Mattias more and more alcohol.

Jesper sat down next to Y/N with a loud noise and started talking about his win today. He had lost a lot of money in a few card games and then won the Same Money back again after a round of chess. Inej had to explain the rules to him beforehand and was shocked that he really didn't understand how the game worked. His only luck was that his opponent understood it even less and so he had defeated him after a few rounds despite his moderate knowledge of chess.

Y/N was happy to have this group. For her, it almost felt like she had a found family, a home. The others also appreciated her very much. Nina was glad that there was another Grisha in the group. She loved challenging Y/N to play pranks on the other crow members. Even if the others wouldn't admit it, everyone loved the jokes they made up. Only Kaz usually looked offended when the two kept his people from their serious work.

She had also built up a good relationship with Inej in the two years that she had been part of the crows. Both were rather calm and liked to spend time alone. But they loved to talk about novels and books together. Inej and her had already broken into the library of Ketterdam several times at night to be able to read there in peace. Y / N fondly remembers those evenings. Especially Brekker's red-hot face when he found out what they had done. He was incredibly angry and didn't even let them be on the next mission. Meanwhile, Jesper just stood there, amused. Although he was disappointed in both of them too. But more because they didn't ask him to come along. Inej had smirked at the time and said that he was probably jealous. And to this day Y/N kept thinking about it. She could hardly imagine that he wanted to tag along because of the books.

"Hey are you even listening to me"

Jesper moved his hand up and down in front of her face.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?"

Y / N knew this wasn't the first time he'd caught her thinking about him. She reached for the glass that Nina had put in front of her nose a few minutes ago. Hopefully that would take his mind off the nervous expression on her face.

"I thought it would be incredible if I would open a bakery with the money. You know the Money i won earlier"

Y/N looked deeper into her glass. In fact, she hadn't noticed what he'd told her. "Hmm interesting. I uh... would not have thought you were the bakery type. "

"Why not?" Jesper started to grin in amusement. Now he was glad that she was just so embarrassed and looking down. She was indeed looking really cute, while trying to come up with a logical answer that hopefully wouldn't hurt his feelings.

“Well you've shot at least 5 people in the last two days. And uh ... "

Jesper had to laugh out loud. "Hey hey little one, I was just kidding. I was Joking... Something like that happens when you don't listen. ”There was a big grin on his face. It felt like it went from one ear to the other. His dark eyes began to glow. Y/N didn't even notice how long the two had been staring at each other. Jesper looked away with a jerk and began to stammer something to himself, “I actually wanted to ask you something. Are we both going to break into that one library tomorrow night? I heard about this one book. And well we could steal it together. "

Y/N just had to grin. Maybe Inej was right after all and Jesper wanted to spend time with her.

"Sure, why not ... but you know that this is illegal?"

"It's only illegal if we get caught"

The next evening they both met below the roofs of Ketterdam's university district. Jesper's hair was disheveled, probably because he had slept until a few minutes ago. The night before had stolen both of their strength. None of them could really remember much. Once again, Nina had endured the most alcohol, but probably only because she was the one who made the others drink. Inej had gone to bed relatively early and in the early morning twilight still heard the singing voices of Matthias and Jesper. Y / N could roughly remember participating in a drinking game. And somehow she thought she had seen a smiling Kaz, but that would be too improbable.

It wasn't quite as cold as the night before, but because of the tiredness Y / N was all the more cold that day. Jesper didn't seem to have any other way. He had wrapped himself deep in his coat and was wearing a much too long scarf around his neck that he had stepped on twice while running. It was unusual for the shooter to be so calm. Most of the time he would talk out loud about his achievements in playing cards or he would consider a daring mission to get rich. He was very talkative, only today he was speechless.

Getting to the library was very easy there was a secured part in the south wing. Valuable writings from Kerch were stored there. But the two were only looking for a novel that would be insignificant for most People. It didn't take long for the two of them to get into the building over the roof of an adjoining building and through its courtyard.

Y / N knew her way around the library halls; after all, she had often come and gone there at night. Jesper ran right behind her, afraid of losing her between the tall bookshelves. It didn't take long for Jesper to find the right book. It was about tales and horror stories that used to be told to children in front of the campfire. Jesper had overheard Inej talking about this book. She had shared how she loved these stories as a child. That seemed like the right book for the right reason

y / n to dare a night break-in. He had longed to spend time alone with her for a long time. He admired her for her courage and caring. Jesper had been alone for a long time. Far from everything that felt like family. But the Crows gave him a home. Kaz was the protector of the crows and Jesper was happy to have someone like him, but somehow the warmth in the crow club was missing. But the warmth was suddenly there when the young grisha girl ran into his arms two years ago. She has been on his mind ever since. How many times had he caught himself paying special attention to her on missions. Or the many times she was turned on by drunkards and he would have loved to draw his revolver. Even now he could only think of her smile.

She had spread her coat on the floor and was tapping the spot next to her. Jesper sat down next to her, grinning, and began to read.

The warm sun shone on Y / N's face. What a nice way to be awakened. Most of the time she woke up by hearing gunshots in the street or the loud talk of seafarers stumbling towards the port. It smelled of old books, dust and leather. Only now did she realize that she was not in her bed. She opened her eyes carefully, hoping not to wake up in a prison or a cargo ship. But her surroundings were not unknown to her, only she had never seen them in this light. Next to her lay Jesper who had embraced her with both arms. She had never seen him so calm before. His chest moved slowly up and down as he breathed. How beautiful he looked.

"You should hire someone to make a portrait of me, believe me that will last longer."

Jesper's eyes were still closed. Y / N's face turned red again. She had to stop looking at him like that.

"Good morning, how did you sleep between so much Important literature?" She tried to distract from the subject.

Jesper opened his eyes and looked at her. Only now did she realize how close they were. He still had his arms around her. Jesper also noticed now what kind of situation they were in. He opened his mouth to answer when Y / N suddenly perceived voices from outside. She put her finger to his lips and turned her head towards the window. There were three library guards in the courtyard. They had just noticed the open window through which Jesper and Y/N had entered the building the night before.

Without thinking further, both started running. If they hurried they could still get outside via the west entrance before the university square is full of students.

Luckily for them it was easy to run through the great hall into the foyer, Jesper tried hard not to pull out his revolver to get them out of the situation, but Y/n insisted that they could flee without getting noticed. But it was too late, the guards had already spotted them. Jesper took Y/N by the hand and the two ran laughing like two school girls through the corridors until they could escape over the balcony of the west wing.

They laughed and hugged. "Oh Jesper that was close"

"Yes, If i had not been there, you would have never made it out of there"

"If you hadn't been there I would have never fallen asleep in there"

"That's right, but then I would never have been able to do this either."

He leaned over to her and looked at her with an asking expression. For a moment he was afraid of having lost his self-confidence. He wondered if he had misinterpreted anything. All the times she looked at him with a blushing face and glowing eyes. Maybe he was just wrong ...

But He couldn't think clearly anymore because he had already been interrupted by Y / N's lips. At that moment they both forgot everything around them. The dirty city, the cold winter air and the screams of the guards who were still looking for them.

Fuck, I think that's how it feels at home.

Thx for reading this😅 if you liked it pls write a comment. Just so i know if i should continue writing or not✨ if somebody has a request for an imagine just comment it or text me in my direct messages 🥰💗

Mai 🦋

#jesper fahey x reader #jesper fahey #shadow and bone #shadow and bone imagine #inejgayfa #kaz brekker #netflix #booklr #imagine #six of crows #free rein

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bnha-ficlibrary · 5 years

Note

heyy!!! i wanted to see if you could recommend me something, pretty please. i want something angsty, like, those fics where you cry a while river. and, if it's possible something tododeku, kiribaku or mirio x tamaki, I really don't care much about the ship as long as includes some sunshine (tamaki included) SJFKSNDK thank you very very much ♡♡♡♡

you bet i do! hope you enjoy! (i tried to stick mostly to the ships you asked but i DID stray a little for a few of my personal favorite angsty fics)

We Can All Be Heros by Amandyalmonds( T | 116,307 | WIP 24/? )

Summary: Izuku wanted a lot of things.

To not be quirkless, to save lives, for Kacchan to act like his friend again.

But as the years went by, none of these things happened, until he started running into the now-graduated class of 1-A.

Or,

Izuku listens to Kacchan's bullying and doesn't apply to U.A. He still wants to save lives.

So instead of becoming a pro-hero, he becomes a paramedic.

Looking Glass by twistedthicket1( M | 203,284 | WIP 48/? )

Summary: Midoriya Izuku goes missing as a child. No villain is ever held accountable, no one ever brings his mother any answers. For ten years, the only people who remember the quiet, Quirkless boy are Inko and Bakugo Katsuki. They both feel his loss in different, inexplicable ways.

Eraserhead's been on the hunt for an elusive villain only known by the press as 'Ghost'. No fingerprints, blood, or evidence of any kind can ever be found at the scene of the crimes. All of the villain's cases inevitably run cold.

Izuku wishes he'd been born Quirkless after all. Maybe then, he could've believed in heroes. Maybe then, he could've turned into someone good.

2am Knows All Secrets by Unbreakable_Red_Riot( T | 59,033 | COMPLETE )

Summary:… It wasn’t that he was annoyed.

Okay, maybe he was a little annoyed, but that was just the lack of sleep talking. Because a certain explosive punk thought it was a good idea to test the flammability of his sheets at 2 in the morning. Every single morning.

(In which Bakugou's quirk wakes Kirishima up, and Kirishima gets way too invested in his bro's well-being.)

slow it down (go easy on me) by newamsterdam( T | 26,930 | COMPLETED )

Summary:It’s at that moment that Bakugou realizes something is very, very wrong. He glances down at himself and sees scars he’s never had before along his arms, little nicks and scratches he’d never have been oblivious to. When he reaches up, his limbs feel longer, and as he staggers to his feet he stands several centimeters taller than he had, last thing he knew. He glances at the mirror, catches sight of his reflection, and screams.

One of the doors on the opposite side of the room bursts open, steam spilling out into the bedroom. A man crosses the room in quick strides, looking around for some enemy he can’t yet see.

No, not just a man. Kirishima.

When a confrontation with a villain throws Bakugou through time, he's forced to face a future he never imagined, and maybe something he can't leave behind.

(I Don’t) Wanna Love You by kaizuka( T | 44,875 | COMPLETED )

Summary: Soulmate AU where a person’s Quirk is intensified whenever their soulmate is in the immediate vicinity, and even more so upon touch. For someone like Todoroki Shouto, who hates half of what he is, that kind of effect is an absolute nightmare.

Whatever it Takes by XenophonSpeaks ( E | 19,969 | COMPLETED )

Summary:Bakugou Katsuki, in typical fashion, makes a brash decision that changes his life irrevocably. Anger has always had a way of bringing Bakugou what he wants, though. He just hadn't realized dating someone would be so fucking difficult.

(Or, that one where Bakugou agrees to pretend to date Todoroki just to piss off Endeavor, and ends up falling in love instead.)

I Could Never Know A World Without You by Kasplode( M | 45,800 | WIP 9/? )

Summary:“Stay back, Deku.”

Izuku doesn’t listen. That decision leads to his death.

In a twist of fate that entwines him irrevocably with Katsuki, it turns out their time together isn’t over yet.

(OR: the bodysharing wonder duo AU where Izuku is kidnapped along with Katsuki, and the combination of unprecedented quirks leads to unexpected results.)

Broken Hero by GrapeGodPerson( NR | 14,939 | WIP 6/? )

Summary:He hadn't noticed it in the lounge, nor here, until now. Bakugou's strange behavior was enough to take attention away from it. Something so subtle, that honestly, most people wouldn't notice. But Kirishima wasn't just most people to Bakugou. He cursed himself for not noticing it sooner.

Bakugou smelled different. The usual scent of sweetness and burning sugar radiating from the palms of his hands was completely absent. It was as if…

Even Heros Need Saving by Diana_Zephyr( M | 50,747 | WIP 14/16 )

Summary:In a world where All Might never found the sludge villain before it got Midoriya. It took over his body to hide, bringing him back to the League of Villains without thinking.

Midoriya knew too much for the League to let him go. They found his mother and held her life over his head. Either he complied or they killed his mother and then him.

Midoriya was smart and resourceful, after months of harsh unforgiving training, he could take on most people, villains and heros alike.

The League assigned him assassination missions of heros that were getting in his way. He was a hardened villain, but the world wasn’t so sure he was evil.

Midoriya sacrificed everything for the ones he loved, wouldn't you?

------

Or a world where I think what I could I possibly do to hurt Midoriya more, and then I write exactly that. My poor broccoli boy. He didn't deserve any of this.

#ask #bnha #bnha fic rec #gt:angst

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whimsically-ominously-auspice · 4 years

Text

youtube

Y'all getting tortured too..I lost it. I couldn't handle it

I got germ x on a cotton round and started washing my face.

I got more body parts to literally scrub

After my grandpa died of cancer -- well. Denise killed him but they said it was the cancer...

I took a shower and scrubbed my body every day. I got a new toothbrush weekly.

I used a scouring pad from the kitchen and I didn't ever turn the cold water knob but just a tiny stream.

The water was all the way on full blast hot.

I scoured my skin off.

My Uncle Dad took me to the hospital when he finally came home from the ship. It finally docked.

Doctor asked had I burned myself. "No I just took shower and it just didn't feel clean.. It never feels clean"

"How hot is the shower?"

"Oh will the way hot. I turn the cold on slightly about midway to do the final rinse"

"How long do you shower for and how many times do you perform a "rinse"?"

"Well the shower stays on... I'd say 3 - 4 times when it's all the way hot then at least twice, so about 6.. Sometimes 10.. 12... 45 one day"

I heard my uncle dad sob from the corner. I looked st him perplexed. Cause I was doing right. I was keeping the germs off me.

"I just gotta stay clean dad" as he raised his head he sucked in air through his nose. And i saw a man in misery and guilt

"I'm so sorry sorry i thought you could handle the cancer. I thought you'd be okay and i just had ti fo to work but she...."

"I can handle the cancer dad. I just gotta stay clean and keep the germs off of me"

"What kind of products do you use. SOS pads... Denise doesn't buy a lot of Shampoo so i try to keep,that for my hair... So I'll use dish soap or sometimes even laundry. Bleach is good but she doesn't buy that one slot either. I don't like the amoniea. The smell bothers me but I had to use it 3 or 4 times because I didn't have anything else but that was when i found the SOS pads under the sink. Lo and behold they have soap in them already. So, i quiet using extra except when i wash my face with them. Soften the skin up a little bit more than so I don't get wrinkles"

I looked dead into his eyes and told something I didn't tell any other adult about what i did. I told my friends... But not in a way that it was me. "You know someone i heard of was...." Not I did this. But someone did.

My dad according to my DNA4U although there's,a story about that...

He was in the corner crying the whole time I was talking. "No she needs help. I need help for her."

The doctor said they had received a phone call he thought it was from the FBI. But he looked at his notepad and said "Nope the CIA."

"I just have to keep the germs off me tell them that. They need to, too"

"I'm calling them Billy don't you worry"

"Yeah" he said into the phone "i got a situation here. I'm gonna need you to come in and take her. ... Mental ward"

Son of a bitch. I attacked him. I wasn't crazy. I needed to be germ free.

I grabbed the phone "WHAT I NEED IS TO BE CLEAN AND YOU DO TOO GODDAM THE WHOLE WORLD"

And i beat that poor doctor in the head and back wirh that phone until it fell apart and nothing was left.

"And that's how I kill germs" I told his dead body.

Mental institution?!?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!? THE GERM INFESTATIONS I WOULD DIE IMMEDIATELY JUST BREATHING THE AIR!!! NO WAY IN HELL!!! GOD FUCKING NO!!!

My dad just sat there as i beat the doctor to death m his eyes and jaw open as wide as can be.

"You understand right? I'm not here to hurt you but This place it's so dirty but i came here with you. Because i trust you to keep me safe. But he wouldn't. Not. The dirtiest place in the world he would send me to and i just can't have that. I'll push the panic button to get you some help that you need"

It was right by the door. So these big ass mother fucking dudes came me in started grabbing me to hold me down and strap me to the bed. Big mother fuckers HUGE. Body builders and shit. "ARE YOU GERM FREE!! DONT GET A HOLD OF ME!! LET ME GO. GODDAMINIT!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I killed all 3. "Now i gotta wash my hands and arms. They fucking touched my face and every thing. Stuck thier fingers in my mouth and all. I need to,start with bleach. Can you get me some?"

My dad was in shock.

"Maybe later. I'll ask you again when your nervous system calms down" I washed my face and elbows.

It was 1992 Christmas was a few weeks away. My lie age I was 12. My real age I was only 8.

Finally the CIA came in "are you here to help or force me to wash my hands again?"

He put his arms up as he walked by me and sat next to my dad "well i know Gaberiel and Calvin can help. Gaberial goes to school with her and he said she looks alright but seems to be in a trance like state most of the time. But they will know what to do. Do not worry. Sabrina you cannot keep killing doctors like that"

"I'm not going!! The backwoods motel where they put the strange and i tell you none of them know how to,wash their hands!!"

"You look like a witch!!"

"At least im a clean one fuck y'all shit"

This whole team of huge CIA dudes... They all washed their hands no less than 3 minutes up their elbows for an additional two while I watched.

This big one said "she's not alright you know that. I never washed my hands this much in my life"

I warned him i would kill him if he didn't get off the team "oh no it's refreshing I don't have a problem. My face too here i come"

When he lifted his face he saw mine. "There's nothing wrong with me sir. This world is unclean"

"That's that transelike state. Her voice gets hollow and the carries. Did she kill the others like that Bill?"

"No I didn't. He made me upset while i waited for th3 help I supposed to be needing. Like no one knows,l they can poison me any second"

I knew but i didn't know Denise injected medicine into my grandpa's vein.

I COULDN'T handle this guy at the sink. He wanted to teach me like he could do it better. Like i had something wrong with me. And he didnt like it"

"Out. Just get the fuck out of here. I'll give you a chance to live."

I ended up killing the whole line of people but this one little yellow Asian man.

He was surrounded by dead bodies. 5. They took the 3 guard nurses and the doctor out already.

"Do i wash my hands now? Is it my turn?"

"SIR!!" i said pissed off. I looked around me. My poor dad "well what do you think about your surroundings?"

"You look good. Able to kill real easily. Looks like I need some more training. But I'm just here to wash my hands as i was told to"

He told me the times he needed to wash.

"Well no one else is in line so I suppose that yes it's your turn now"

I laid down on the little check up table bed and fell to sleep. I was exhausted. Killed 9 people. Because they were aliens. And i would let someone live. 3 people in total. Out of 12..

It could be a good day after all, as long as i didn't go to Baywood Inn Acres.. I'd been there before. I escaped and let all the mental patients out. Well maybe if i went I could do that again I thought as I drifted off to sleep. I could still do it. I'd killed 9 today in just seconds.. I could let the rest escape.

Snoop put me on time restrictions. I bit him. I kicked him. I punched him in the stomach. He would walk in with a shield from SWAT to tell me to stop washing at the sink.

It was all scuffed up and I had to clean it. Germs get in them scratches and cracks...

Before he knew it it was all soaped up and If he exposed, his face he would get soaped too. Bar of soap.

Oh boy he was pissed off at me. "You need to kill the right people!!" Him and Alex Laughlin both said

"Then let me use the soap for as long as I want to"

I was a horrror show star. Like a doll. Like poltergeist. There's that doll that turns it's head all creepy. My eyes be glassy I walked around like I was dead.

I was. I was so dead inside. I KNEW my grandpa would die for no fucking reason. I knew and there wss nothing I could do to save that Old man!!!!

And i KNEW i was going get cancer, too!!!

Just wash it all off. Wash it down the drain.,that is I what i would say.

This video to some. But I used to do that.

2 years later I did get cancer in my throat just like I knew I would. I wrote about it.

So I handle death a lot better. Losing one. Germs.

If I know a person doesn't wash their hands and their hands are warm. I freak the fuck out.

"Don't fucking touch me" and I get filled with violent rage.

Some people think it's cool to make fun of me. A violent assassin. To this date with my bare hands no magic included in the last 35 years I've killed 22,489,601,427 people.

So y'all need to learn to wash your mother fucking hands. 35 seconds i recommend.

CDC says it's good in 20... Don't underestimate the power of germs. Scrub faster and go for long term use of that soap you just squirted on you. Go up to the elbows!

Eventually I got okay. To be okay I had to kill people. 862 thousand.

All aliens in stolen bodies. Then i was okay again.

But until then i would sleep walk to the sink wash,me up then hit the streets in a trance.

So they got a kid to live with me... Anton. From Queer Eye... Him...

"No what are you gonna do? He's got germs on him and he's our only kid!" Alex would bark at me.

"Then you kill him" i would tell him. He never did.

So i posted a video earlier. Poor child. "Wash your hands" "wash your hands!" In the video I shared that he shared. Poor child, "Now you gotta wash both hands although only one is dirty. The other might get jealous. Up to your elbows if you want to but definitely up to your wrists"

He played in the dirt a lot. If he didn't Snoop would pour it on him. "Now what are you gonna do?!?"

I smelled him make sure the cat didn't piss on it

Man Snoop did a hard fight. "Its fucking dirt snoop shut the fuck up!!:

I let that boy teach me about dirt. Is it clean? Does it feel fresh? Or smell bad?"

I let him choose whether to wash or not.

Somethings he HAD to wash after touching "raw meat" we had a list of things that could harm us if it was left on our hands.

I had to wash after uncooked hot dogs. Had to. Kid goddam creeped me out because he didn't

I'd just look at him like he was a leeper to give me leprosy from an uncooked hot dog.

"CHILL OUT!!!"

"Uh anuh he touched a raw hot dog and he didn't wash. Uncooked meat!! Its on there check the goddam list in a hurry" he was like a monster under my bed.

"It says raw meats baby."

"Uncooked is raw"

That little boy. Sweet precious angel he is. He said "i didn't agree because i wanted to go out side and play but now I see i take the hot dog containments into the dirt if I don't wash. So i would like to wash please"

I earned a kiss from Alex who was going by Gaberiel. At the time.

It shocked me with surprise. I did something right for the first time in weeks i wasn't yelled at by an adult. I put my head down on the arm of the chair and wept and wailed and cried.

I spent so much time fighting with who was supposed to be my friends. That it made me calm and feel normal. Ever since that day my grandpa died. I had so much built in my chest like a wall. Filled my body so.

Snoop finally understood under all that muscle mass and need to assassinate... I was still there.

"Lets go get some ice cream it's on the list for,being,human and you get sprinkles for crying."

"Lets go ma then I wanna play in the dirt.

I wasn't sure i could leave the house. I felt really wobbly... To go outside and not kill... It was dangerous. I tried to go back in like 14 times. But Alex kept stopping me. Or snoop or the baby Antony.

"Took us 15 minutes to go get us a dam treat,jist from the door to the car. When we go killing shes flying down the steps and first one to the car. Ain't no one gonna know what's wrong with her! Ain't no one!"

"I do! You just need to wash your hands! Wash Your hands!!" I had a sweet little boy next to me... I looked out the window of that white Cadillac and I sure did hope i could figure out how to,keep the world safe. They played and teased and made,him laugh.,all every one,in the car laughing with joy.

I just wanted to open the car door, jump out and die.

Later I finally told. Some movie reminded me of my grandpa... The only one I ever had. The one that allowed me to kill Denise. A prison guard.

"He died from something out side of him. Not inside out side. I can't handle it. It went down his arm.. Pink. It was something pink"

Snoop on his knees. "What was it poision?"

"Watch. Into here down this way to his pinkie then back up and then down around his heart and through his legs and up the other side and to his brain then he could smell the medicine cold cough syrup. And she kept doing it until the full bottle was,in,his body. It didn't work tho. The next day and the next. 3 more,days than,that. Then he was,dead. 2 bottles each day. Of cold medicine to kill tiny germs"

Alex's face,was,in terrified horror. Snoop still as a statue.

"Where do they live at?" Asked snoop.

"Texas. Redway lane"

"That is where you live at".

"That is what i am telling you. And i was in Texas and i didn't go to Arizona"

Snoop began to throw up in his hand and,ran,from the room.

Alex and Anthony looked at me all "why did you have to tell the truth?!"

"I'm trying to watch the movie here!!" Said Anthony "and tomorrow I wanna play in dirt"

"That's ok baby That's what you can do with Uncle Snoop. We'll be quiet now so you can watch the movie."

If you don't get germs on you. You don't get sick. Then you don't get murdered.

Stay Clean.

Corona. I'm telling you. It ain't no different.

Except I was told something worse than eating Vicks Vapo Rub would happen to me from Denise.

I had to kill 981,602,375 people like Denise until I felt satisfied the world was safer.

Until I could breathe again.

I felt my grandpa die. I was with him. I felt his whole body. When his left lung collapsed...

And he was begging "no Denise don't do it. It won't make me better. No Denise I don't want none. Dont put it in my IV. I don't have no cough or cold. I have cancer and I'm going to beat it"

And that Old man died. And I tried so hard. To keep his body alive. Just stay with him.

And his body was so riddled with cancer. He couldn't take being filled with the thick cough syrup.

After a million kills. Grandpa said I could stop the world would get better then. "If I do two more grandpa then it would get allot better"

We killed 6 million predators. By hand. We picked them from prisons.

Death Row and life sentences. They could die early if they wanted. They understood they would die. They signed contracts. And we filled them in gas chambers. And filled the air with a non toxic cough syrup smelling gas that made them relax. Laughing gas. Then we used rat poision gas. Until they died. We had some other gases too. I didnt care.

We did right by our promise and they choked end coughed choked on a white foam frothing from,their mouths. And,died.. And we watched them through a little window with gas masks on our faces.

"You know you could used a little more nitrous" would say Alex

"Only half choke to death. Most of them lay down peacefully to die."

Oddly white men were more often to fight Than the black man.

"Either the black men are innocent or they know,what to do in a poison situation"

One man. Black. Should been,dead. But he was crawling around checking on,the others. In pain he was.

I ran,from the control booth. Dodging people trying to stop me. I swung open the door against policy. Grabbed him up under his shoulders "why did you sign the paper if you didn't have any thing to do with the crime?$?!" I yelled through my gas mask

"All these are all dead i want to,know why I'm not!!: he was crying he was scared. "I didn't sign the paper because i wanted the hell out. I knew if i died I would go to Heaven!: he was sobbing. In a gas chamber. Filled with poison.

Alex held up a gas mask in,the Window I pointed my head towards my direction.

And I held the black man while he was on his knees in a room full of gas. Alex put the gas mask to protect from,gas on his face.

"Lets go you got to get out. You only have half a,mask"

"I can't"

"You got to,get out now"

He chose his fate. No one else. He would tell me when he was ready to live and i would hold him on his knees until he did. I just stared into Alex's eyes. While he said over and over "you got to, get out" like in case i forgot.

"I wanna get out! Can you help me??" I reached down and grabbed him by his waist. Hoisted him up to my hip and carried him out like a toddler. A nice grown man.

This poor man was a mess.

No one mentioned i was covered in cyanide. For 3 hours until when my skin began to itch "you need,to shower"

"When you finally get covered in killer germs you don't care Because you found someone more important, more desperate. Someone more in a bad situation.,then you don't even notice"

"You trained me not to. Could I at least get an SOS pads for my bath?"

Every one wore a gas mask around me. Even the kid. For three days Anthony did.

"Snoop said you can't go in his car covered in,gas,like,that so we got a rental car"

"You gonna drive in that gas mask?"

"Yeah. Sounds fun. We have to roll down the Windows for you to breathe. I know downtown LA but... And also we got you w hotel. You are covered in cyanide!! No on wants you home. But i do"

I think... It was the first time in my life any one ever gave me a bath while wearing a gas mask.

We had to,change,3 hotel rooms. So i wouldn't pollute the place up.

"See? You yelled at me and you're all jist as bad,and,won't even let,me,see my kid"

"Yeah well you trained us to be extra careful. More cautious than sorry"

Gaberiel. Alex Laughlin slept in bed next to me. In a gas,mask.

Sometimes I couldn't sleep. Thinkin about that man and my grandpa.

And I'd look down at the man next,to me. Pased out. Looking like an innocent kid himself.

I adored him. I felt so much love that a person would be in,danger for me. I shook his gas,mask gently

"What you woke me up what do you want? It was on purpose, too"

"Do you think that man knowed i cared? That I might love someone other than myself?"

"We treat you as though you are selfish because you sre using self harm and you don't understand it. No one is supposed to gargle with bleach? What If you swallowed it?"

"It burns my nostrils any way"

"That's not the point but baby doll. You could kill yourself and we wouldn't have you no more. That is,the point.,that is why we called you selfish. Your addiction to cleanliness could,kill you snd no one,wants that to happen. But look what you do. Go,in a gas,chamber FULL of gas with only a half mask on. You're lucky you don't go blind. But look st it this way. We pushed too hard and in the wrong way and you did drink bleach on purpose in desperation to be clean. It was undiluted, too. I know. I watched you. And you Didjt say anything. Just smiled and said "i feel" i wanted to,slap you then for not listening. But when you pushed me back so you could leave,tje room through the door i was blocking. You didnt act like nothing happened. You felt like nothing happened. And I realized we were doing something wrong then two,weeks later you tell us why it was so,important to be kept clean and germs off of you. And i wanted to die for the way snoop and I had been mistreating you. And that is why I started the gas chambers of criminals to honor Yoir grandpa for working at the prison to keep,them in line. End,it for your grandpa and avenge his death with revenge. It would be what healed you both. And next time call the police when someone is being poisoned."

"She did it when i,was asleep. I would fall asleep all kinds of times of days to be with him. I promised when i was a young kid that i wouldn't let him die alone. Not by her. And when i woke up I was too groggy to remember what was going on. I thought it was a dream a bad one i hoped it wasn't real but it was and i can't get over this feeling this fear.. That had me at constant companion"

"What does that mean my love?"

"Evil. My grandpa said"

So y'all in,this world of 2020

Keep,calm.

It is,gonna be okay.

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