#but no irl people ARE doing anything here because this is a story)

[catgirlknighted]

Big Sister Confesses, a Special Siblings Day

God, where do I even start? My big sister Wendy has always been so beautiful ever since we met. Very physically affectionate, but she was like that with a lot of close friends; so, I thought nothing of it. I’m sure some of you remember glomping? I’ve certainly taken a tumble or two from her, but never fully fell. She was more gentle with me. At some point she kissed my cheek on my birthday & I thought nothing of her kiss, her doting on me, & being so close to me all the time throughout that day. She’s such a wonderful & charming person to have around, I appreciated every bit of affection.

As we became physically closer, I would kiss her cheek regularly and I began to see her as more than just my big sis, she is hot. I can’t deny it, my elder sister is a hot woman & we’re exchanging kisses on the reg. My cheeks get red at such a realization as it dawns on me. Her cute & pretty face always lighting up my day with that beautiful smile. Her pretty legs & thighs that I lay my head on while she runs her fingers through my hair & pets me softly at the public park. Hell, even her breasts & her ass are gorgeous & perfect, now I can’t stop ogling her in my mind. Golly gosh, her in that one piece swimsuit too when we first met, her soft skin, those hips & curves. Every inch of my big sis is heavenly & what if I could kiss her soft pink lips even just once or feel my tongue on hers? What would big sis Wendy taste like? My cheeks are so flushed at this point! Surely such indecent thoughts are weird though, I better repress this! She’s my big sister, she’d probably feel weird if I told her I was developing a crush on her!

For some time into young adulthood we remained as physically close as ever, regularly hanging out, even as I went to college. We made time for one another, Wendy & I. Outside of my closed relationship, Wendy was the most physically intimate relationship I had going on. We could talk to each other about anything too, even our relationship problems. At some point during those years I told her I was bigender & I felt like a girl sometimes. “You’re a very pretty girl.” We were walking & talking casually through her neighborhood & I froze up hearing those words from her in response to my coming out. Tears formed in my eyes & my cheeks reddened. Not only was I just affirmed on my femininity, but I was pretty to her. My big sister found me to be pretty? I nearly combusted on the spot despite trying to shove my gay thoughts to the back of my mind throughout these years with her. “Are you okay?” “Y-yeah, I just wasn’t sure how you’d take it.” “You’ll always be my little sibling regardless of gender & I love you.” “I love you too, big sis.” We hugged & I cried into her shoulder a bit, taking in her scent & embrace. Big sis smells so good & despite not glomping me, I think I’ve fallen this time. She’s the best big sister I could ever ask for & I’ve fallen in love with her. The best part is, we remained just as close as before I came out, if not closer. Soon enough I would see just to what extent that closeness would go.

My partner, Cassandra, at the time had at one point questioned our physical intimacy of kissing each other’s cheeks, hugging often, & snuggling when we’d all hang out together. I’d respond by affirming that we are just siblings & that’s all there is to it, besides, she’s in a relationship & I’m obviously taken by them. This would put that conversation to bed, but in the back of my mind my gay thoughts would chime “but she’s still hot though & what if we kissed while caressing one another?” These indecent thoughts of mine would start popping up more despite the fact that Wendy had a boyfriend. I even felt a little jealous of the boyfriend at times too, but would shove that to the back of my mind. I needed to be happy that my big sister is happy!

In an ironic twist, she was in fact very unhappy as I would get called by her crying to me, lamenting about how shitty her boyfriend was to her, sometime later on. I had consoled her & kept her company on the phone for a little while. They had broken up just yesterday & her birthday was coming up very soon, she didn’t want people to see her upset on her birthday. She asked for the first time in all our years knowing each other if she could come hang out at my house. I was surprised & I asked my parents if it was okay with them. We were given the green light by both our legal guardians to go ahead & hang out. It was impromptu but I put on some clean pants & underwear, couldn’t find a clean shirt, but she lived like 10 minutes away so there was no time for that! I had to be there for my big sis! I hurriedly put on a zip-up jacket since I can’t find any clean shirts. A few minutes later, she arrives & I give her a big hug as she enters the doorway. “Can we go somewhere private?” “Yeah of course, let’s go upstairs.”

We go upstairs & I whisper softly “you doing okay?” She says softly that she isn’t sure. We get to a couch & sit down together. I wrap one arm around her and she lays her head on my shoulder. I blush a little & find myself smiling, I kiss the top of her head & rest my cheek on her. “Hey sis, I’m sorry he hurt you.” “Thanks little bro or sis, he ended up being a real asshole.” “Yeah, guys can suck sometimes & ‘sis’ is good for today, thanks Wendy.” “No problem sis, hey, is it okay if I lay down on you? I was crying a lot today & I’m kinda tired.” I was so focused on being here for her that for a moment I lived in a world where my gay feelings didn’t exist, but damn if they sure didn’t flare up from the back of my mind at that very moment. It took all my willpower not to blush, this wasn’t the time for that! “Yeah, of course! Hell, you can even take a nap on me if you want!” “Thank you, I’m pretty drained...” “Of course, just happy to be here for you. Want me to lay down & then you lay on top of me? I’ll be like an anime body pillow or something.” A hint of a smile spreads across her lips & she nods. “You sure I won’t crush you?” “I’d be happy to have you crush me like a weighted blanket.” I giggle and smile at her & a smile in turn finds it’s way across her beautiful lips, she takes off her glasses & places them to the side. I lay down on the couch & she lays down on top of me, face-first into my chest as I rub her back softly & soothingly. “Hey Rose, can I tell you a secret?” “You can tell me anything Wendy, of course, lock & key or whatever the saying is.” “Okay well... I have a crush on someone.” “Already? You just broke up with what’s his name, that’s kinda fast. No hate, just that seems pretty quick.” “No, it’s not like that, I’ve had a crush on this person for a while.” “Oooooh juicyyy, well, whose the lucky guy or girl or whatever?” She then moves her beanie in front of her eyes & burrows her face fully into my chest to where I can’t see her eyes anymore. “Promise me you won’t judge me no matter what?” “Big sis, you know I love you, I won’t judge, I promise!”

“Well, good because... it’s... you.” I let out an audible gasp, looking down at her in shock. “I know you look at me as your big sister & I see you as my little brother or sister too, but I can’t help it I’ve always liked you & you’ve always been there for me.” She gets choked up & starts to sniffle while clutching onto my chest for comfort. “Y-y-you like me...? Y-you-your serious?” I’m still taking in this information, awestruck as to what I’m hearing & trying to process. “Please don’t judge me or be upset, I’m sorry! This is probably stupid!” She says while sobbing into my jacket. I rub her back soothingly. “No hey wait- wait no hey... hey, hold on... hey, look at me, Wendy.” “Don’t wanna.” “Please?” “I don’t want you to judge me or see me crying.” “I don’t mind you crying & I'm not going to judge you, I promise on my life, I just want you to be reassured so please at least let me see your eyes.” I move the top of her beanie up out her face to see her pretty eyes sparkling with tears. “I know I’m in a relationship & that’s why you probably feel weird or bad about confessing to me, but the truth is, I like you too big sis & I have for a long time.” “You don’t have to lie to me.” “I’m not lying, let me repeat this while I maintain unblinking eye contact with you so you know I'm for real about this, I like you, I’m crushing on you too & I have been for years. I’ve just been pushing it to the back of my mind because I was scared you’d think I was weird or gross since we’re siblings & stuff.” “So you’ve felt the same? But you’re in a relationship.” “A polyamorous relationship.” “Okay, but would I have to date Cassandra? I don’t like her like that, she’s pretty I mean no offense, but I only like you.” “I’m not sure? It’s something we’d have to talk about.” “Mmm...” “That being said though I’m glad we got this off our chests, I’ve been holding that in for soooo long & I’m sure you have too!” Wendy nods & smiles a little. She’s stopped crying at this point & is only sniffling on occasion. We cuddle in silence for a few minutes. She takes her beanie off at some point because she got too warm in it.

“Hey sis, you guys got to play truth or dare at that sleepover you had recently right?” “Yeah, did Jessy tell you about that?” “Yeah, I heard some wild stuff happened, but she kept it pretty hush hush.” “That’s good, she better keep that stuff a secret.” “Yeah, she’s a good friend, though it got me thinking sis, could we play it together, just the two of us?” “Yeah sure.” “Okay because I’m sad I couldn’t stay for the sleepover haha, I really wanted to!” “Well, maybe next time you come over we can do that; so, who should start?” “Um what do you think?” “You pick.” In my mind at that moment I suddenly remember our friend Jessy saying that one of the dares they all did together was flash each other’s chests all at the same time after closing their eyes for 30 seconds. “Okay, I’ll start then, sissy, truth or dare?” “Hm well you already got a lot of truths out of me today; so, dare.” “Haha fair enough, if you aren’t comfortable with my dare you don’t have to do it, okay?” “Okay, so what’s the dare?” “Well, given I never got to stay overnight, I dare you to flash your chest at me, I’ll close my eyes & you just tell me when you’re ready.” “I um... I’m not sure.” She’s looking at the floor now & has sat up, her cheeks turned pink. She puts her glasses back on, still not meeting my eyes. “Perfectly okay if you don’t want to Wendy; just let me know & I’ll think of a new one. I’ll also flash you my boobs if you’d like? If that would make you um more comfortable.” I’m now looking at a different spot on the floor & also sitting up, red in the face. I can tell through my blind spot that she glanced over at me to ponder her decision for a moment. “Hmm okay... well, I don’t want to lose in round one so um how about you close your eyes? I’ll tell you when to look.” “Um o-okay big sis!” I blurt out nervously before shutting my eyes & turning around to face the wall. Oh my god, I’m going to see my big sister’s breasts! Holy shit, holy fuck, I’ve only fantasized about what she looks like & occasionally touched myself thinking of her! My hands are shaking as I hear her messing with her shirt & bra behind me. She’s actually going to show me her boobs, this is a dream come true! Big sis Wendy’s boobs, oh my god! The anticipation is making my cheeks hot & making me wet.

I feel her tap my arm, round one is just getting started. “Y-you can um look now if you want to.” “Y-you’re sure it’s okay for me to, big sis?” “Y-yes I... want you to look, pl-please look.” “O-okay, gladly Wendy.” I turn around to see her with her bra on the floor next to her, sitting on the carpet, t-shirt rolled up, & her hands covering both of her boobs. I come over & sit in front of my sister. “So um what d-do you think?” She asks me shyly. “I think I’d like to see the whole thing if that’s okay, but so far I’m absolutely head over heals.” “Oh okay um p-please move my hands for me, I’m nervous.” “You’re sure sis? Just checking to make sure you’re okay with this before I proceed.” “Yes, I’m sure little sis.” “Okay.” I gulp nervously & place my hands on hers gently, rubbing the tops of her hands reassuredly before lightly moving them off of her breasts. “Woah Wendy, they’re beautiful, your breasts are absolutely perfect!” “Y-you think so? I don’t like my visible veins.” “Oh sis, you have absolutely nothing to be insecure about, your breasts are some of the most beautiful I’ve ever seen, okay?” “O-okay thank you, I’m glad you like them so much.” “Like them? I love them much like I love you big sis! Every inch of you is sexy to me!” Her cheeks are so hot by now and she’s looking away shyly. Her breasts were the biggest & most beautiful I’ve ever seen, I was getting so wet & had a visible boner by now poking up through my jeans. I couldn’t stop starring at my big sister’s voluptuous breasts & her soft tummy peaking out from her jean short-shorts was like icing on the cake. I had fantasized about Wendy’s boobs, but the real deal was so much better! “Please keep them out for a bit longer big sis, I love seeing them but only if you’re comfortable. C-can I show you mine please?” I ask her. “I-if you want to little sis.” “I do, um you don’t have to close your eyes for this one I just w-want you to see my breasts, please sissy.” I unzip my jacket slowly, nothing on underneath & she’s watching me take out my breasts for her. My big sister is looking at my soft tummy & boobs, this just gets better & better. At this point my boner grows even bigger & is throbbing visibly as I’m sitting back against the back of the couch with my tits out for sis to ogle at. “W-what do you think of them?” I ask her shyly. “They’re very cute & pretty like you.” I blush so hard at those words & it makes me so happy to hear that!

She puts her shirt back down & comes over to sit right beside me, leaving the bra out which doesn’t help with my increasing gay thirst. “Now it’s my turn” she states, “truth or dare.” I look up at her, completely flustered, with my jacket still unzipped. She puts a hand on my leg & rubs my leg a bit. “Looks like you got a wet spot” she says, while looking down at my lap. “It’s um... because I got really excited looking at you, big sis.” “O-oh yeah you’re really wet then.” “Y-yeah... also dare.” I’m looking away, I can’t meet her eyes all embarrassed about how wet I am. “I... dare you to kiss me.” “K-kiss you?” I ask, absolutely flabbergasted. “Yeah... wherever you want.” “W-wherever I want?” “Mhm.” She lays her head on my shoulder & I ask if she’s sure. She nods. Me being a nervous wreck, I go for a forehead kiss initially, stop myself close to her face, & ask “actually, may I kiss your lips, Wendy?” “Y-yeah you can.” “You ever kiss a girl before?” “N-no, you’ll be my first.” I can't help but to grin playfully, I'm her first gay kiss! I’m nervous, we both are, but we both close our eyes & lean in, our lips collide & our hearts flutter upon impact. Our cheeks as pink as the skin on our lips as we taste one another, not letting go. My big sister‘s lips feel perfect on mine. We part but if only for a moment to open our eyes & stare at one another longingly. “Big sister, can I please kiss you more?” She nods & we kiss more, I suck on her lip a bit with the next set of kisses & my sister moans for me, gripping onto my jacket while we lock lips. “You like that Wendy?” “Yes.” I kiss her more while I wrap my arms around her lovingly. I love my older sister so much, she’s perfect & so fucking hot! We hold each other as our kisses begin to get a bit sloppy, our saliva trailing between our lips as we break from kissing.

This is like my fantasies come to life, my older sister’s pretty pink lips all over mine! “Let’s have a siblings day, just you & I, like this. I promise we can forget all about it when we’re done, if you want.” I told her at some point while we were making out. We both agreed to those conditions & to go all out, then keep it between us as siblings afterwards.

“Indecent” thoughts? I'm so silly! Seems we were both having them for quite some time! We both craved this sisterly love making! I’m running my fingers up her warm soft skin while I look at her longingly, t-shirts are great for feeling up my sister’s arms. We lean in to kiss each other more while I rub my fingers along her arms, up & down softly. This is the best way for me to bond with my big sister by kissing her & swapping spit with the girl who knows me best! I ran my fingers up her shoulder & lightly across her neck as I looked at her with the utmost desire. I giggle and say “I suppose it’s my turn again, sissy. Truth or dare?” Round two begins.

“Dare.” She says with a look in her eyes that tells me she wants so much more. I smirk & say “I dare you to keep your bra off & let me put my hands on your chest.” “O-okay.” “That okay with you Wendy? You can back out at any time, just a reminder.” “Yeah I know.” “Guess you aren’t trying to lose to me are you?” I grin at her & a big smile spreads across her flustered face in turn. This has become a little competition to see who taps out first? Challenge accepted! I slowly work my hands up to her shoulders. “You know, big sis, you could just tell me what you want.” “I-I’m not really sure what I want, this is my first time doing this stuff.” First time? I’m her first time?? Me? Once again, I feel like I’ll combust on the spot, but I maintain composure. “First time huh? Then we’ll just take our time & explore together.” I’ll be the first person to corrupt my big sister, what an honor. I slide my hand down onto her chest & press on her right breast. She withdraws a breath. I begin to caress her through her shirt, cupping her boob & rubbing it around. She lets out a soft gasp for me. “Wow big sis, you're so sensitive here! That feel good?” “Mhmm.” She moans softly as I squeeze her breast lightly and rub it around more. She’s looking up at me desperately like her mind is in a horny haze just from me rubbing one of her breasts through her shirt. This really must be her first time! Well, as her little sister, it’s now my duty to make some of her firsts are great ones! I use my other hand to grab her left breast, caressing it & rubbing it around lightly for her. Meanwhile I try something new on big sis and grab her left breast again, though this time I run my fingers across her until I find her hardened nipple poking through her shirt. Oh, this is going to be so much fun! I grab hold of her bosom & begin to tease my thumb across her erect nipple on the left side, she lets out a loud moan for me in turn. Sissy sounds so perfect too, so beautiful, like music to my ears! “Shhhh we can’t let my parents hear.” “I’ll try, but it's very sensitive and feels so good.” I smirk & tease her nipple with my thumb more, running it across over and over. Sis biting her lip as an attempt to try not to make any sounds. “Let me help you, sissy.” I start kissing sis on her lips as I move my hands into position & simultaneously tease both her nipples at the same time. I feel her body tense up as she moans into our kisses. I can feel her body reacting every time I press & rub across them, she really does have some sensitive nipples! I start to rub her them around faster & she breaks from the kissing to let out a nice moan just for me. “Ffffuck that feels so good.” “I know right & you’re being so brave for me, you’re doing so good for your little sis!” “T-thank you Rose.” “No problem, big sis!” I say as press on both her nipples really hard just to mess with her. “Mmm more gentle plllease” she says while moaning out for me. “Of course, sissy! Thank you for telling me!” “I don’t know how much I can take & I don’t want us to get caught.” “Yeah that’s fair.” I rub them lightly for her & she gasps.

“Now then Wendy, I did say I wanted to put my hands on your chest & I already have through your shirt, so may I reach under & feel them with my bare hands, if that's okay?” She nods & I try something new on her once again by leaning in to kiss her neck while I slide my hand up her leg to the hem of her t-shirt. I slip my fingers gently underneath the hem. Her soft tummy feels so warm & good on my hand, I caress her as I run my fingers up her body. The skin on her neck is just as soft & warm as I plant my lips on it. Gentle smooches landing like rain drops on her tanned skin. She lets out a quiet little moan for me & deposits a breath every time a smooch hits her beautiful neck. I think I’m in Heaven, never did I think I’d be doing such things with my hot older sister! She holds onto me as I work my fingers up to her chest. Oh my god, my hands are on now her boobs! Holy shit, holy fucking shit! They’re so soft & squishy! Those perfect & voluptuous breasts are being squeezed between my fingers! She makes more lovely little sounds for me as I press on, rub around, squish, & squeeze her tits. All the while I lightly suck on her neck & lick it, planting little kisses up & down my sister’s beautiful neck. Now that I think about it, why don’t I just bite her neck at least once while we’re here. She clenches onto me as I bite her softly, letting out a nice audible moan for me once more. Big sis Wendy makes the best noises I’ve ever heard! “Wendy, your breasts feel so good in my hands. They’re the best! Are you okay? I hope I didn’t bite too hard sis.” “I-I’m glad & yes, but maybe be a bit more gentle with the next bite.” “I can do that, thank you for telling me.” She seemed to be in a horny haze mentally; but as long as she gave me the okay I would pleasure my big sister & show her something incredible before her birthday! I must cheer her up! She just kept looking at me with those longing eyes; so I bit her neck again but softer & in a different spot. She gasped & gripped me hard again. I continued to caress & fondle her big beautiful breasts under her shirt, they feel so good to squish & play with! I started teasing her nipples too, just like before, but this time skin-to-skin & I knew kissing her would deafen her beautiful noises. As much as I longed to hear her symphony of sounds, getting caught wasn’t an option! I teased her nipples with my thumbs as I kissed her soft lips. Such perfect nipples, so soft & warm in my hands. Every part of my big sis is perfect!

“I think it’s my turn, little sis.” “Your turn?” “Y-yeah, truth or dare?” I stop fondling my big sis for a moment & grin, “dare.” “I dare you to let me sit on your lap.” My lap?? My face heats up. My hands are all up on this girl’s boobs, but her sitting on my lap? Once again, I’m extremely flustered & my cheeks are hot! She was gonna feel how hard I am underneath her. My ladyboner was gonna be a dead give away for how turned on I was if it wasn’t obvious already. “Oh uh okay sis, yeah let’s do it!” I slide my hands off & sit against the back of the couch. I was about to feel her ass on my lap. I'm Instantly more throbby as she sits down on my lap, back towards me. Her ass in those short-shorts is so perfect, holy shit. My sister has a perfect butt and it’s now sitting right on my cock! I’m freaking out internally, but externally I hug her from behind & kiss the back of her neck between her pigtails. “Oh sis, your neck is so kissable.” I kiss the back of her neck more as I reach a hand up under her shirt to fondle her tits more. Cupping, squishing, rubbing, & squeezing her beautiful breasts with her squirming, aroused on my lap. She gasps & moans for me, I can’t believe we’re actually doing this together! I can’t believe I’m fondling my big sis, hearing her, & seeing her like this! I take a whiff of her scent & whisper “You’re being so good for me, big sis.” She whimpers from my praise. I lift up the back of her shirt & kiss up her pretty back while running my fingers across her bare skin. She’s so perfect! I’m reaching my hands around to caress her stomach too, she’s so soft & warm, I just wanna feel her up everywhere! I go for her legs & rub my hands upwards towards the hem of her short-shorts, caressing her inner thighs with my fingers. She lets out soft breaths & gasps throughout & it’s absolutely delightful! I slide my hands back up & tease her pretty pink nipples between my fingers, rubbing them in circular motions. She gasps again & whimpers for me. I giggle, taking pleasure in her sounds in response to my touches & my lips on her back. “P-please don’t stop, that feels good.” “Good girl for telling me, that’s what I like to hear! Can I try pulling on them for you.” “Yes, just be gentle.” “Of course, sissy!” I pinch her nipples lightly between my fingers & grab them softly. Oooh that elicited quite the verbal reaction, how nice. Let’s try this then! I pull on her nipples lightly & tug on them a little. A loud moan escapes big sister’s mouth as she leans forward. I’m so fucking wet & hard! “Are you two okay up there?” One of my parents ask, creating panic in both of us for a moment, but I use my tone faking skills I’ve developed over the years to keep us safe. “Yeah, it’s just been a while since I stretched & my back felt so good, sorry about that!” I said & they never came upstairs to check on us thankfully, so they must have bought it. I playfully pull my sister’s nipples again, she’s covering her own mouth this time & I twist them lightly for her. She grunts & moans into her hand. Big sis is such a good girl! “You okay, Wendy?” “Mhm.” She uncovers her mouth and looks back at me, breathing heavily & nodding. It was time for round 3 to start!

“Hmm you know, big sis, I think it’s my turn now. Truth or dare.” “Dare.” “I dare you to let me taste your boobs, I want to lick them & suck on them for you.” “O-okay, but how will you do that with me on your lap?” “Turn around for me & sit on my lap facing me instead, I’ll show you.” “Okay.” She nods before standing up, turning around, & sitting on my lap facing me.She’s looking at me with those pretty bedroom eyes that tell me she craves her little sister. I take my glasses off & set them aside, meeting her bedroom eyes with my own. “Good girl, Wendy!” I grab her ass & back from behind to keep her from falling off my lap & bury my face in her bare breasts. She lets out a small breath in response. I rub my face in between them, taking in her scent & feel. Her cleavage smells so good! My big sister is the best! “Wendy, your boobs feel so good on my face, thank you, now for something more enjoyable for you sis!” I plant little kisses on her boobs & in turn hear little whimpers & gasps from her. Gods, I love this so much! I stick my tongue out & rub my face around in her bosoms, licking them all over as she lets out more breaths in response. I then focus my area of tasting & lick her nipples slowly, hearing her gasp as I swirl my tongue around them. I flick them with my tongue & every time, without fail, her body & vocals react to me. Big sister tastes so good! “Mmm sissy, you taste so good! I’m gonna suck on them now, okay?” She nods & wraps her arms around me gently. I support her back in my hands as as I lean down & start sucking on her left tit. She moans & gasps for me as I suck on her breast, grabbing hold of my jacket with both arms wrapped around me. I begin to suck harder on her nipple & swirl my tongue around it too, her grip on me tightens & she whimpers & moans softly, music to my ears with every noise my big sister makes. She’s so beautiful & makes such beautiful sounds, how fitting! I stop & start sucking on her right breast, right on the nipple, while I use one hand to reach up & play with her already sensitive left breast. Can’t leave either of them unattended, my sister deserves only the best! She squeaks out a loud moan despite trying to hold it in, how lovely! I’m getting so fucking wet & hard beneath her, I’m sure she can tell. Surely she can feel me poking her? She must not mind feeling me throb for her. What a lovely big sister! She’s so good to me! I start licking, sucking, & taking turns doing so to both of her voluptuous breasts, I just can’t get enough! Her grunts & gasps, her back arching into my hands as she reacts to my mouth on her. Everything about my older sister is divine! I stop & check in on her again. “How are you feeling, big sis?” “Good.” “That’s good, I’m glad, cutie!” She’s looking at me longingly for more like she wants me for dinner! The lustful look in her eyes as we make eye contact makes me throb even harder beneath her, creating even more of a wet spot on my jeans. As if I wasn’t soaked enough already! “Little sister, I think it’s my turn now.”

“O-oh yes right, of course.” She leans onto me & kisses my lips suddenly, passionately, her arms wrapped around my shoulders. “G-go ahead, sorry, I just really missed this. Truth or dare?” I rub her back and kiss her lips now for a good minute or so, taking in the taste & feel of her soft pink lips once again. “Nothing to be sorry about sis, your kisses are amazing! As for truth or dare though hmmm...” she suddenly kisses me more & sucks on my lip, I moan into our kissing. She then slips her tongue onto mine & I grip her hard as we keep going. Big sis & I are swapping spit just like I dreamt about all those years ago! Her soft wet tongue feels just as perfect as I thought it would! I’m so fucking wet & hard, holy shit this is amazing! I reach up under her shirt & caress her bare back, running my nails along her soft warm skin lightly. We both pull away for a moment with spit trailing between our mouths & chins, breathing hard & longing for each other like animals ready to mate. “Okay, this time for real. Truth or dare?” she asks me. “You know my answer, you hottie.” I say, smirking playfully. “I-I dare you to let me feel your cock. I want it, I want to feel it please!” My soul nearly left my body on the spot, she wants my girldick, holy shit!! My face is as molten hot as a volcano! “Y-you w-want to f-feel my cock?” I ask her, flabbergasted & the most flustered I’ve ever been in my life up to that point. She nods, affirming that she did in fact ask to feel my dick. “W-well big sis u-um h-how do you wan-want to um feel it?” She shrugs. “I just want to.” “You just want my cock really bad?” Her cheeks get absolutely flushed & she nods shyly. I take a deep breath, okay, this is her first time & she’s a little uncertain, what should we do? “O-okay let’s um- h-how about you uh take one of your hands and um put it on my lap?” She nods shyly, pulls her shirt down, & gets off my lap to sit right beside me on the couch, laying her head against mine softly. I move one of her pigtails out the way & kiss her cheek. She was so warm in the face & hasn’t touched me yet. “It’s okay if you aren’t comfortable, you don’t have to if don’t want to, okay?” She nods & then nervously places her hand onto my lap, her cheeks a bright pink. “Down a little more, dear sister.” She nods again & slides her hand down until she gets right onto my bulging hard-on. “Oooh fuck.” I moan out for her, gripping onto the couch tightly with my hands at my side. She curls her fingers in a bit, essentially wrapping them around my cock through my jeans. I whimper a little, I'm so sensitive! Oh my god, my big sister is touching my cock! This is the best day ever! “W-Wendy your hand feels good right there!” She starts to rub on it softly with her fingers, up & down through the fabric, it takes everything in me not to be too loud & get us caught! I, her little sister of many years, was now singing a symphony just for her! I lean into her ear & whisper quietly through my gasps & moans, begging her “mm f-fuck Wendy p-please don’t stop, it feels so good!” She nods & starts rubbing my cock faster & having now applied more pressure. I grip onto her with one hand, moaning & gasping into her ear. “W-Wendy, your pretty good at this for your first time.” “T-thanks.” Her beautiful hands feel & look so good rubbing me through my jeans. “Heheh no problem big sis. May I do another?” “Sure.” Round 4 was starting since we just couldn’t keep our hands off each other!

“Truth or dare.” “Dare.” “I dare you to take that hand of yours & touch my ladyboner through my underwear.” “O-okay.” I slide my jeans down & my throbbing wet member pops out via my boxers, a big wet spot right on the tip. “It’s really wet.” “Yeahhh because of you sis! Again, you don’t have to do anything you aren’t comfortable with.” “I’ll touch it above there then.” “Sounds good to me, whatever you’re comfy with!” She slides her hand across my underwear & I gasp, already feeling her close makes it throb even more. Even just the anticipation is killing me! She gets to below my tip where the surface area is still dry & starts to caress & rub my cock around with her fingers. Oooooh fuck this feels so good! Sister’s hands feel so good on my cock, holy fuck. If this is wrong then I never wanna be right! I stick part of my still unzipped jacket in my mouth to deafen my verbal reactions. She stops rubbing & looks at me concerned. “You okay?” I stop biting the jacket & giggle, blushing & smiling at her. “Yes, I’m okay, it’s just your touch feels so good & I don’t want us to get caught. No worries, please keep going.” “Oh okay.” She’s blushing so much & smiles shyly before she starts rubbing my shaft again, stroking it up & down now through the fabric. She’s got her whole hand around it now, holy shit. I bite down on my jacket, but I’m still moaning through it & she can tell how good I feel as she starts stroking me faster. Ooooh fuck, big sister pleaseeee! Your hand feels too good!! My precum starts getting everywhere & she keeps stroking my dick despite it getting all over her hands. I’m getting so soaked from my sister that the fabric of my boxers is making sopping wet noises as she jacks me off! I’m looking up into her eyes like the needy little girl I am. I love big sis Wendy so much! She’s doing so good jacking her little sister off! I let go of my jacket, whimpering & moaning softly, I need her, I need my sissy! “Oooh fuck Wendyyyy mmmm feels so good ffffuckkkk!” “Heheh I’m glad!” She jacks me off more & more, not stopping. I’m really bringing out the pervert in my big sister, she doesn’t even care that I’m getting her hand all wet as opposed to earlier. She must love that I’m making all this juice just for her! What a naughty older sister, I love that!

“My hand is getting tired.” “Okay well, that’s okay, let’s change my dare for you then. I dare you to show me your panties & then let’s try something special together.” “Okay.” She nods & moves her hand off my cock. My boxers are absolutely soaked all over! “Um what should I do about all this?” My face turns bright pink as she shows me all the precum on her hands, her palm & fingers are coated with it! “Uh umm well, there’s no napkins up here or towels so uhhhh just use my jacket, it’s black & it’ll dry quickly so no one will notice!” “Okay!” She wipes all the precum onto my jacket & I giggle, a bit embarrassed by my mess. “Sorry about that, I didn’t expect you to get so into it & you made me super wet.” “That’s okay little sis.” She’s smiling at me with rosey red cheeks & climbs onto my lap. We kiss once more, arms wrapped around one another, both smiling into the embrace of our lips. We’re so in sync right now, it’s incredible! I love Wendy! “So um you just wanna see them?” “Yeah, I wanna see what my big sister’s got going on, your butt too maybe if that’s okay!” “Okay.”

Not so much as a few hours ago I never would have thought I’d be seeing my older sister unbuttoning her jean shorts in right front of me, on my lap no less! I can’t help but bite my lip as I watch her hands work at the buttons. “So what was the thing you wanted to try with me?” “Well, I wasn’t gonna put it inside or anything as that’s kinda risky & I’m not sure if either of us brought condoms & I don’t know your comfort levels since this is all new to you aaaand I’m over explaining! Anyway um... I wanted to try f-fucking you t-through our clothes like from behind.” “Dry humping?” “Y-yeah!” “Okay, well let me show you my underwear first.” “O-okay!” She slides the tops of her shorts down a bit revealing Batman panties.“W-wow sis those are really pretty on you!” “T-thanks, I just kinda threw these on before I left.” “Y-yeah no problem! You look really good in them!” We’re both awkward blushing messes trying to keep our composure for whatever reason. She was above me looking down at me with her panties out, I felt like I was in Heaven & looking at the most beautiful angel I’ve ever seen!

I wasn’t good at handling silence back then as I always felt I needed to fill up that space so I moved on saying “well, why don’t I try dry humping you?” “Okay, so; um... where do you want me to be?” “I’ll help show you, get off my lap first though. Not that I don’t love you being on top of me heheh!” She blushes, climbs off my lap, & sits beside me. “Okay so keep those shorts unbuttoned, now go ahead & bend over on the couch for me, sis.” “On the back of the couch or on the floor?” “On the floor so we don’t get caught, the couch will hide us.” “Okay.” She gets on her knees & leans her upper body on the couch. I sit on the floor & caress her voluptuous ass with both hands, give it a little squeeze. I hear her let out a little gasp. “Good girl, Wendy!” “Thank you.” I can hear the desire in the thanks she gave. Her craving tone, big sis wants me so bad. I lovingly kiss her ass before I get on my knees & press my body up against hers. I reach my hands down & hold her hips, caressing her in both my hands. I rub my right hand under her shirt & up her back, feeling her soft warm skin. God, she’s so beautiful, even bent over in front of me like this. My older sister’s soft sides are gorgeous too & such grabbable hips, perfect for holding! “You ready, sissy?” “Mhm.” She nods & I grab a good hold of both her hips & I start thrusting into her ass. “Mmm!” She moans out for me & grunts with each thrust. The skin of her beautiful legs vibrating every time I collide with her, her pig tails bouncing around lightly. Big sis makes the best noises! I start thrusting harder & faster into her & she uses one hand to stifle her sounds. I wish she wouldn’t, but I know for both our sakes that she must! “May I slide your shorts down now?” “Okay, just not all the way.” “Is it okay if I slide them down enough to see your butt?” “Um y-yeah.” “Are you sure? I just wanna make sure you’re comfortable.” She turns her face to look me in my eyes & says “I’m sure, it’s fine.” We’ve built up so much trust over the years that I knew she was telling the truth. I slide her shorts down more to where I can see her beautiful butt & I caress her sweet ass with both hands. I tease one thumb slightly under the waistband of her panties, running my finger along her bare butt & onto her butt crack, I rub there affectionately, wanting to tease her a bit, “good girl Wendy.” She moaned in response to feeling my touch against her bare skin, I take my thumb out of her undies & lightly pat her butt. “Your butt is absolutely perfect & so beautiful Wendy.” “Thank you.” “My pleasure dear, now is it okay if my underwear touches yours?” “Yeah.” “Okay, it’s only fair I expose mine to you too, heheh!” “Heh yeahh.” I slide my jeans down to where my underwear is fully exposed & press my wet throbbing member right up against her ass. She lets out a soft little whimper. “You feel how hard I am?” I ask in response to her sounds. “Y-yeah kinda.” “Alright let me make sure you feel it even more then.” I reach down & adjust my cock’s direction to slide in as deep as it can into her panty-covered backside & press myself as close onto her as I can. She moans lightly. “Oh yeah, now you feel it don’t ya, sis? You ready for me?” “Mm yeah I’m ready.” I grab a good hold of my sister’s hips again & start thrusting my cock into her. She whimpers louder & I start pumping it into her panty-covered ass faster. Her ass bouncing as I collide with her, my cock rubbing against her somewhere between her butt & her pussy. She’s loving it, gripping the couch tight as my boner rocks into her. My cock feels so warm pressing into her here, holy shit it feels so good! Even I have to stifle my own noises from how good this feels! My older sisters body is so perfect, I can’t get enough! At some point I’m just rubbing my cock up against her buttocks as it loses it’s initial position, but it feels so good up against her ass!

“Hey can we stop?” I was surprised, but alright. “Yeah, of course!” She pulls up her shorts & buttons them up. I pull up my jeans in turn. “Wait, you don’t have to... um I have an idea I wanna try.” My face instantly heats up again. I’m so gay for her, holy shit! “Oh? What’s your idea?” I’m surprised she’s taking the reins of our little homoerotic dance now. “Lay down on the couch for me.” WHAT did she just say? “L-lay down? W-where at?” “Against the back of the couch as low & far back as you can.” She’s um really taking initiative huh? Well, who am I to say no? She clearly has an idea she’s invested in trying & I’d love to indulge my big sister’s whimsies! Though she’s so much more innocent than me seemingly so I wonder what she’s thinking of trying... hmm. “Yes ma’am! Your wish is my command, big sis!” I smile at her & she’s smiling back at me with flushed cheeks. I lay back against the back of the couch with only my head tilted up a bit against the back of it. She takes off her glasses & places them on a side shelf this time. “I’m good for whatever you want to try so just go for it, alright? Surprise me!” I’m sure that whatever she wants to try, I’ve already done with Cassandra before; so, it’s not like it’ll be anything I wouldn’t be used to already. She suddenly climbs up on top of me & pins my wrists down! Oh, she’s taking full initiative! Cassandra never does anything like this. I’m... speechless! All I can mutter out is an, “oh!” while my cheeks become the hottest they’ve ever been! “You okay?” “Y-y-y-yeahhh... please continue, I’m just surprised!” Her knees are at my sides, her ass is on my cock, & I’m pinned down unable to escape my older sisters clutches, just how I like it!I’ve never had anything like this happen before!It figures that one of the most physically affectionate women in my life would be so assertive in the bedroom. I just had to get her out of her shell. Now the beast has gone wild & I had no idea what was next! “Good.” She starts grinding her crotch softly & slowly on my bulge! I whimper & moan, “mmm ooooh fuck!” quietly as to not get us caught. Upon hearing that, she grins & starts rubbing herself on my dick even faster, she’s grunting & gasping too while looking down at me. I can’t escape & she’s rubbing herself on my cock, I think I might just explode! My older sister is the best! Fuck oh fuck her crotch is getting so warm too, holy shit! Warm & damp on my cock! She must be super wet if I can feel this through her panties & short-shorts! “Oh fuck fuck fuck Wendyyy, that’s it beautiful, oh fuck oh fuck I love you so much big sister!” She manages to utter out an “I love you too little sister” while losing herself in pleasure. Rocking forward & back on me, she’s so good at this! She’s using me like a fucking sex toy & I’m the little perverted sister who loves it! Oooh fuck her crotch feels amazing! I’m in heaven, I must be because she’s a fucking angel! Her crotch perfectly shaped & rubbing on my cock through both of our pants just feels so fucking incredible! Her warm damp crotch only making me harder & bigger for her to get herself off on. Her breasts swaying beneath her shirt, her thick legs rubbing against me too. Her eyes lustful & longing, looking at me as she fucks her clit on my dick. Her soft little moans & whimpers. This is so fucking perfect! She leans down & kisses my lips while rubbing her clit on me. Fuck I’m tasting my big sister while she fucks her clit on my dick! She slips her tongue into my mouth & I’m moaning, whimpering desperately into our kisses. She’s a goddess! She pulls away & her spit falls onto my chin. She’s looking down on me once more while getting her clit off against my bulge. She’s riding me, frotting with me. My own big sister fucking herself on me & here I thought I was the one having "indecent" thoughts all those years ago! This is a dream come true! “Mmm fuck sis can you show me your boobs again please?” “Sure.” She takes them out quickly & continues desperately frotting against my cock, her beautiful breasts swaying as she rides me. Fuckkk she’s so hot!

She folds her legs up & is just sitting on me now, her hands on my breasts for support. She’s riding me up high now & I can see her beautiful boobs so much easier. I reach up & fondle her while she rubs herself against me. She lets out a loud moan, but no one seems to notice so squeeze them & she stifles out another loud moan. She’s so cute & hot, holy shit! Big sis is riding me like I’m her personal dildo & I would gladly be her toy any day of the week if this is what that entails! I flick her nipples while she rocks back & forth on my cock. She gasps loudly. I then pull them a bit & she ceases up for a moment, covering her mouth & letting out a long moan into her hand. “Heheh my bad sis, maybe that one was a bit much.” “No it’s okay!” She leans back down & kisses my lips, our boobs pressed together, as she continues to ride me relentlessly! This is her first time & she’s made me her personal sex toy! This girl is wild & I love it! I reach around & grab her ass with one hand, squeezing & caressing it, & rub her cheek softly with the other as we kiss sloppily. I slide my hand beneath her pants & panties grabbing her bare ass as we start tongue kissing. She moans loudly into our kissing, but doesn’t stop; so, I just keep a hold of her like that & help push her rocking motions on my cock. So many wonderful touches & tastes all at once! If we weren’t worried about getting caught, I’m sure she could have overstimulated me & I would thank her for it! She’s so flexible too, riding me with full force like this, legs up, ass down! My big sister is amazing in all ways! “I-I think I’m starting to feel something!” “Good girl Wendy, chase that feeling!” She nods. She starts rubbing herself against my cock faster & harder, rolling her head back as the pleasure overtakes her whole body! “There you go there you go, that’s it! Keep it up! Good girl!” Oh fuck I’m staring to feel something too actually, I think I’m gonna climax soon just from my sister’s clothed crotch! I gotta wait until she does though, that way she can use my big hard dick as her toy! Her head is rolled back & she’s moaning out just for me! This is so hot! She’s practically pumping my dick with the warm damp crotch area of her pants & her weight combined! I grab onto her ass with both hands now & rocking her back & forth, helping her clit get rocked even harder against my girldick! She’s rocking against me so good! Doing such a good job! “Oh oh fuck oh fuck fuck fuck!” she sputters out, it seems like she’s getting close! I can’t believe I’m gonna make my big sister orgasm from frotting! That’s it, ride your little sister’s cock like a good girl! This is what little sisters are for after all! This is my purpose as your younger sibling, I’m meant to pleasure you! I can feel her riding desperately, I’m rocking her ass back & forth as best as I can! We can do this! Such a desperate needy girl, I never knew this side of her! I feel her tense up on my cock for a moment & then she’s catching her breath on me.

“Hey, you okay, sissy?” “Yeah I just felt so good, it all felt so good.” “Awww, good girl! I’m glad dear.” “Did you cum yet, little sis?” “No, not quite yet, but you certainly got me close!” “Okay.” She puts her hands back on my chest & starts grinding on my cock super hard & fast! She has a second wind?!? “This feel good, little sis?” “mmmmf fffffuckk yes yes yes yes!” I’m moaning out for her desperately! “I love you big sister!” “I love you too!” “You wanna make me cum that bad?” “Hhh fuck of course I do!” She leans down & starts kissing my neck & licking it whilst riding me & flicks my nipples, teasing them with her fingers & even going so far as to lick them & suck them while putting all this pressure & movement on my cock! Her damp wet crotch rubbing up on me, making me so so neeedy ffffuck! She takes her boobs back out for me to see, knowing how much I enjoy seeing them. They’re swaying with her as she rides me so good! Oooooh fuck big sis is so sexy, I’m getting close hhh fuck!!! She’s grinding as fierce as she was before, her crotch pumping my cock through my jeans! “Good girl good girl good girl that’s it, just like that don’t fucking stop!” Oh my god oh my god I’m gonna- fffuckkk I’m gonna- I’m gonna cum ffffuck she’s riding me so hard, her pigtails hit my face at some point & hair got in my mouth, but she feels so good on me that I don’t care, I’m moaning out for her. I need my sis I need her I need herrr! I’m gonna cum for my big sis! I’m gonna fucking cum for my older sister ffffffuuuuuuckkkkk! I can barely keep a hold of her ass she’s making me feel too good! I suddenly cum so much as she rides me some more! I let out a long moan for my big sis Wendy, looking up into her eyes desperately as she milks my cock! Hhhhh fuckkkkk! I’m catching my breath now, “I love you so much Wendy.” “I love you too Rose.” “Let’s lay down big sister, you did a great job making me cum & I hope I got to make you cum too.” “I don’t know if I did or not since this was my first time, but thank you little sis.” “My pleasure.” We kiss each other a few times & sit up for a bit against the couch together. She gets up to put her beanie back on, her glasses, & her bra as well before coming to sit back down with me, bringing my glasses over too. I put them back on before I wrap my arm around her shoulder & she rests her cheek on me. “So Wendy, for your first time, how was it.” “It felt so good.” “God, I’m so glad & I know right! Pretty amazing huh?” “Mhm!” “You’re an amazing older sister, you know that?” “Well, you’re an amazing younger sibling!” “Aw shucks, we’re both pretty great, aren’t we? Though I will say I was pleasantly surprised with the way you took charge during that last bit. You really know how to get a girl going!” “Thank you.” She turns her head away a bit shyly. She’s so cute when she’s shy like that. “You know for someone who was telling me not too long ago that you weren’t sure if you were bisexual or straight, you sure just did have your first real sexual experience with a woman. That’s kinda gay!” “Heheh yeah, I guess I am bi after all!” “That’s the spirit, welcome to the gay club, haha!” She goes to the bathroom to clean up & stuffs some toilet paper into her undies to avoid a yeast infection since she didn’t bring a change of clothes with her. When she came back she told me “you know that thing I felt earlier was probably me cumming because when I looked, I was soaked!” “Aww yay, well, I’m glad I could help do that for you & help cheer you up a little bit today sis!” I was so happy that I could help her reach orgasm & seemingly one of her first orgasms at that! It was such an honor! I’m such a good little sister! I quickly & quietly snatched some underwear from my room & changed into that, but I had no other blue jeans so for the entire rest of the visit I had to keep my jacket covering my crotch by having my hands in my pockets if I went anywhere else in the house. I was stuck with the mess my big sister made me create that had leaked through my boxers. How lewd!

“Wait, which one of us won Truth or Dare?” Wendy asked. “I think we're far beyond Truth or Dare at this point big sis, heheheh, but let's say we both won today! I lost track honestly!” I smile at big sis & hold her hand. “Heheh! Yeah same, it was really fun though!”

“I love you, big sis Wendy.”

“I love you too little sis.”

We cuddle quietly for a bit & she ends up falling asleep on my chest for 30-60 minutes. I kept rubbing her back soothingly until she passed out. She’s so pretty when she’s asleep; so at peace, I love her so much. I never want this moment to end. Her mom arrives to come pick her up gives her 20 minutes to wrap things up. We kiss a bunch, a little lip sucking, a little tongue, and cheek caressing tenderly. We both wished this could happen more often, that this could last outside of today, but it would complicate things for all of us. Cassandra probably wouldn’t like it either & so we hugged & didn’t let go for a whole minute or so. “Back to normal I guess, huh sis?” We both sigh & look at one another. “Yeahh, but that was nice.” “It sure was Wendy, I don’t know if I’ll be able to forget.” “That’s okay, I’m not sure if I will either.” There was a bittersweet energy in the air between us; we both got a bit teary eyed, but neither of us regretted a thing. We kept it our little secret from Cassandra, Jessy, & everyone else.

A week later it was birthday bash time! A hang out at my big sister’s place, I was one of the first people invited apparently! Now’s the time to act normal, we just fucked like a week ago, but it’ll be okay! Just play it cool. As I got there I was welcomed with open arms by Wendy & she squeezed me tight, I squeezed her tightly in return. “You doing okay sis?” “Yeah, you?” “Yeah!” We smiled at each other & exchanged a knowing bittersweet look in that moment, we both remembered everything that went down on that special impromptu siblings day, but we couldn’t say it. Not in front of all these people. Not in front of my parents or hers. Not when Cassandra was also invited along with a few others. She held my hand & brought me into the living room where everyone else was & for a moment I lit up once more. I was hers again, the target of her affection, if only for a fleeting moment. I wonder if she felt the same for those few seconds. The party was amazing, Cassandra showed up & sat in my lap. Wendy playfully sat in Cassandra’s lap for a minute much to Cassandra’s surprise “woah Wendy-.” Was there any meaning to that or was it just Wendy being Wendy? We’ll never know. Then everyone else proceeded to try & join in on the lap sitting sandwich & they all fell over except Cassandra and myself. Back to normalcy I guess. Then the funniest thing happened late into the night near when the party ended & Wendy was in the bathroom. Jessy pulled me aside into Wendy’s room with her other friend Laurel asked me like, “hey you hung out with Wendy most recently & you see her often, do you think she’s straight or bisexual?” The entire gay sex scenario that we just had a week ago flashed back through my mind at light speed & I just stared at the floor for a few seconds. Wow, this is the worst possible question! “Hmm you know, I think she’s bi, but that’s just my speculation!” “What’s the basis for that?” Jessy responded inquisitively. “Eh, nothing really, just the vibes, y'know? There’s just something about her! Not really sure it's our place to speculate though!” I shrug & take a big long sip of my drink, staring at the floor once again. She was absolutely bisexual, her first orgasm & sex was with a woman! You’re asking the girl who gave it to her, who unlocked the bisexuality! These two would never know the truth, nor would anyone irl as far as I know.

💖Author Note: I’m only sharing this because I wanted to write a love letter to my past, to her in how we felt about each other back then, & those beautiful moments we shared together. Also I wanted to try my hand at writing more smut & sometimes you just like to think back on past sexual experiences. Really stepped into my own past memories, feelings, & POV with this one. I wanted to get this wonderful story out there for the world to see/hear without giving away the secret. A few tweaks, a few name changes, some added details, some details left out. This is all based on truth & a love I felt so deep but couldn’t have in this life. I still absolutely love my big sister, love her to death, but it’s not like that now (as far as I’m aware) & I’m perfectly content with that reality! If you see this; no, I’m not gonna make it weird unless you want to, though I doubt you would. We’re both older adults now than we were when this story took place & we’re at different places in our lives than we were back then. Hard to ever forget an experience like that though, you gotta admit! It was pretty gay! 💜

#I’m taking some creative liberties with this for the sake of story telling but this is rooted in truth; at least the majority of it is #little disclaimer of course that this is all just young adults playing pretend; we weren’t actually raised together or anything like that #no genetic relation whatsoever between parents; siblings; etc. I know this disclaimer shouldn’t be necessary but I’m trans so yeah lmao #also this is very reminiscent of early 2000s queer sisterhood relationships & is apparently way more common than I had thought #found family turns gay moments; I’m also changing names & things a bit for privacy reasons obviously; if she somehow finds this though #then we’ll just cross that bridge & have that conversation when we get there if she wants to; I’m not too pressed or stressed about it tbh #I’m making up names for everyone in the story but I honestly could never forget an experience like this #I don’t know if she ever forgot either seeing as she’s now seemingly a part of a polycule? or might be? I think that's neat #yknow polyamory the thing we talked briefly about? yeah so I must have awakened something in her; awakening times 2 #a bi discovery wasn’t the only thing made this day lmaoooo I put a lot of heart and soul into this story; I’m sure that’s probably obvious #it has a happy ending; at least one I’m satisfied with; but that’s because it’s literally based on my life & events & relationships irl #fauxcest #siscon #siscest #sibcest #sibcon #trans nsft #nsft trans #nonbinary nsft #trans ns/fw #tagging it with all the labels since I know how some people on here are about stuff #this took me like a whole 3-4 days to publish so please reblog it! I worked hard on this & I worked on this hard! lmao #be loyal to your partners; don't cheat. I wanna clarify that. do as i say not as i do or whatever; I was young; this was a long time ago

[musical-chick-13]

"This show is SO good, you should watch it!!"

I gotta be honest. If I look at a character list on Wikipedia and get five characters down without seeing a single woman, it's probably not for me.

#I have no patience for 'there is exactly one woman in the main/supporting cast' anymore #unless the writing is INCREDIBLE and the themes are explored with a type of depth and nuance I can't get anywhere else (like shiki) #(daily media plug for shiki) #then I just. probably will not vibe with it. if there are no women. (also shiki DOES have interesting female characters in it) #and this isn't to say that like. things involving men or talking about men or that have a male protagonist are Not Worth #My Time that is NOT what I'm saying at all. I just want like. several women. who show up and affect the story. like LITERALLY that is all I #am asking for. I feel like that's just. the bare minimum. but alas. #mel screams about fictional ladies again #there are plenty of things that are male-character-focused that I enjoy and even genuinely think are good! but I do want people to #ask themselves why they aren't willing to go to bat for media that DOES have more women in the cast than men. #(I mean. the answer is misogyny. but I want people to be. aware of that. and evaluate accordingly) #(evaluate meaning 'acknowledge I have some biases I need to continue deconstructing' not 'drop interest in everything tumblr #user musical-chick-13 personally doesn't like') #I feel like so many times we get trapped in this space between overcorrection via 'don't like ANYTHING that's pRoBLeMaTiC in ANY way' #and people taking the 'it's fiction it's not that deep' to the conclusion of 'because I cannot actually hurt fictional characters because #they're not real that means I am incapable of hurting irl people when they talk about those characters' #like there is. nuance here. there is a middle ground. and most people have NO interest in finding it lmao #and like...if you carry your biases from irl (which EVERYONE HAS. INCLUDING ME. COURTESY OF LIVING IN A PREJUDICED SOCIETY.) into a #direct and one-to-one evaluation of stories or characters that allow you to exercise those biased ideas. then that reinforces those biases #like. no hating...for example every anime lady isn't the same as structural misogyny like the pay gap or anti-women violence #but if you automatically associate the idea of 'female character' with 'lesser-than' it strengthens the already-present societal idea that #women are not as important or dynamic or worthy of support and attention as their male peers. if you are willing to see every (white) #fictional man as having interiority and depth but struggle to see that in any fictional woman then it adds to the things society is already #telling us about women. it creates an association of 'women' with 'inferiority' and uh. that's what misogyny is. #it is not the same as misogynistic crimes against irl women but it IS a reflection of the rhetoric and societal impulses that lead to them #and even if it's a reflection and not the actual thing. it's still important to break down and examine and reevaluate because #if we don't examine our OWN biases. then even if we tear down the greater oppressive structure we'll just end up building it back up again #no your thousands of words of m/m fanfiction or liking late 2000s shonen anime isn't responsible for misogyny nor are these things #inherently misogynistic. I just want like. some acknowledgement that something being 'for fun' doesn't automatically mean that bias/ #prejudice is nowhere to be found

[persephoneflouwers]

-

#hello everyone how are you? #I hope everything is doing alright! from my part I can say life is treating me well lately #and I feel very light and okay #I am here mainly to get things straight #I saw an anon going around some other blogs talking about me #saying I am an hater and I shouldn’t be writing larry fics #I think this is the same anon that I blocked some weeks ago #because they told me I should not use Harry for clout (????) #and I want to say only one thing because I don’t care of defending myself on this website anymore and that is #it’s not clout and it’s not easy #being a (new) writer here is not easy because people don’t care what you do and there is definitely not clout around me #im not using harry to gain anything #if anything I am constantly questioning whether I am somehow good at writing silly stories and putting myself out there for people’s judg #*judgement. and I promise you it’s not always nice #especially when this place doesn’t like people who you don’t always agree with #especially when you are blocked by half of this side of fandom (larries because I had said something in the past that they didn’t like) #louies because im a larrie ergo I hate louis (???) and harries because i dont care about Harry as much as they do #so no I am not ashamed of writing and I am not ashamed of writing giving my characters #(that rarely have anything to do with H/L irl) thei #their names and physical features #and honestly people like you anon should definitely stop to play this stupid game of fandom police #deciding who can read what and who can write what #because this actions only affect new writers in the way that #they will be alienated. they will feel alienated #and this whatever this fandom is shouldn’t be about that #ever. you don’t know what people go through every fucking day #you definetely dont know how this sort of silencing mission you have going on #will affect people on the internet and their mental health #stop defending the imaginary people you think H/L are and start treating people in this fandom as actual human beings #and since you probably would like to know this: I am not currently working on any project because i am fucking scared of reaction like this

[theophagie-remade]

Sometimes I genuinely forget that things like instagram exist. What do you even do there

#yeah yeah hellsite (affectionately) but like. at least i know that anyone who's completely bonkers here is being genuine #and idk i just think that my it's MY business instinct is too strong for me to want to share stuff on there or even use it #which ig is weird because of the whole people you likely know irl thing vs anonymity but that's the Thing actually #i don't really know how to explain it so. take stories for example. they can be kinda compared to anecdotal posts yeah #but the thing is why the hell should idk my ex classmate who i didn't even like or some random person know about my business. yuck #and i mean obviously everyone here is a random person too but it's different! #bc no one here is performing in the ''putting on a show for people to see'' way #the ''i'm a little money and this is my enclosure'' tumblr feel >>> #mytext #prompted by every time we go out somewhere my friends always put quite some effort into making these pretty collages for people to see #and idk nel bene e nel male i guess that it's important for them to share what they do with others #and idk maybe it's just one other socialTM thing that i simply don't understand + it's coupled with my general uncomfortable-ness #with the thought of people who i know but am not close to knowing literally anything about me #but it always leaves me feeling like. but don't you ever think that sono cazzi tuoi where you are and who you're with

[rose-colored-something]

People who I don’t know well enough stop trauma dumping on me challenge

#no one on here I’m talking about people IRL #I must just seem like someone easy to talk to this shit about which I’m happy about but #I’m exhausted I jus thot out of my second job that I’ve been at since 6am and I genuinely #a) am too exhausted and don’t have space right now for it and #b) we are not at that level and unfortunately because we are not on that level I don’t want anything to do with it #that might sound mean but this happens SO much #like for example 2 times today (: #like I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry and I feel like an asshole but I jus don’t have the energy to care #if it was someone I was close with totally different story #sorry just venting bc I’m so tired.

[i-like-eyes]

Trying to figure out how they'd work as puppets

More in depth analysis below the break

For those that don't know, typically the three most common variants of foam puppet are know as rod hand, live hand, and walk around. Examples would be Elmo, Cookie Monster, and Big Bird respectively. Rod hands are smaller in size and held up by, well, rods. Live hands have the puppeteer (or two!) insert their hand in a sleeve connected to the puppet for more interaction. Walk around puppets are full costumes the puppeteer wears, but what makes them puppets and not like, fursuits, is that there is still puppet mechanisms like moving the mouth or blinking.

Here is what comes from the website/Clown's tumblr:

Julie is a rod hand

Eddie is a live hand

Poppy is a walk around

Barnaby has a walk around and live hand

Howdy has a walk around and live hand

Sally is a live hand but "required an additional hand to help move her head, as it was much larger than other puppets"

Frank is said to have a fixed expression but his head could spin, rather he was rod or live or magic third thing I cannot figure out

Wally doesn't have any details regarding his puppet anatomy because he is special like that

Of note:

Julie likely has smth holding up all that hair (please be a fucked up skull please be a fucked up skull)

Poppy is a pretty standard walk-around puppet (she's just Big Bird), but I'm having trouble understanding how a human could fit into Barnaby or Howdy. Then again, 2d artwork of puppets tend to take liberties for the sake of stylization. So if someone were to make them IRL they'd either look really different or utilize tech I don't think was available in the early 70's

Howdy's legs could work on Squidward Spongebob Musical logic. Arms I have no clue, as a live hand he could have multiple people filling up those arms, but as a walk around idk cheap spider costume logic were the lower arms are attached to the upper arms ala a string?

I do not know what to make of Sally needing extra help to hold up other than that's so specific it might become a plot point

Frank.

Okay Frank lacking details or having weird details that stand out is a running theme for him. He has no listed backstory whereas everyone else can say where there were from and who their family is. Every character's first name ends with a long "e" sound whereas Frank is. Frank. (His last name "Frankly" does cover that though). The fact that WHRP lacks any concrete detail on his creation is a story reason, what's the story no clue we are 5% in dudes

Regarding his puppet, he obviously had a fixed frown because puppet but also could spin his head. Now I have absolutely zero clue how you can have the head spin and also have room for the hand for the mouth, unless this is a rod puppet (Rizzo the Rat) where the mouth is moved by some other mechanism. All I can say is I'd suspect Frank to have a very stiff (read: not majority foam) head and body in order to hold up such a feature. If his head can detach, I can imagine a metal ring of sorts that his collar covers up

His arms are a different story. The website not clarifying how his arms work doesn't really mean there is anything particular about them, but I am going to over analyze is anyway dammit

Points for rod hand: arms/hands are slim, inspirations Bert and Mr.Robinson are rod hands, lack of other rod hands/variety reasons

Points for live hand: Sally also has slim hands but is live hand, not all live hands have thick arms (looks at how small Ernie's upper arms are compared to his fore arms), Beaker hasn't been listed as an exact inspiration for Frank but look at him, and most importantly is Poppy. Poppy is noteworthy for being the only walk around puppet without a live hand counter part. As a result of having wings for hands the puppeteer cannot realistically perform any of the baking tasks in her segment. As a result she gets help from Sally, Howdy, Eddie, and Frank. The former 3 are all live hands, and one can assume that because of this Frank could be a live hand as well

And finally I know he's said to not super expressive but my heart says that he would look great with the eyebrow mechanism Bert and other puppets have.

I should point out that puppets from the 90's (Dinosaurs and TMNT come to mind) used more robotics in order to achieve more expression with the characters, but I don't think that kind of tech was common place in the 70's and would apply here.

The big take away is that this post was made for practical reasons; I am just Quite Fond of researching this kind of thing. This will probably not get you any lore, but it could provide context for the characters. I personally suspect that Poppy not being able to fly or perform tasks she swore she could will play a big of her character. In general I think that what other puppets can and cannot accomplish will play into the theme of figuring out who you are. That's the real fun.

#welcome home #julie joyful #eddie dear #barnaby b beagle #howdy pillar #poppy partridge #frank frankly #throwing him in because he takes up a good chunk of speculation

[munsonslove]

Hi! I love you writing and I was wondering if you could write a fic we’re Eddie and the reader kinda have like a frenemies vibe going on and then one day they sleep together but Eddie has no idea the reader is a virgin because of people saying stories about her and then they sleep together and he finds out after they did it??

Can I Kiss You?

(18+ only)

a/n: thanks so much for the request, & thank you everyone for 1k followers!!! i’m so happy people are liking my little stories <3 a few notes: reader is dustin’s older sister in this fic, but i make it a point to say that she was adopted, so you can def read this as not white reader still. i also briefly mention the reader’s birth parents passing away when she was very young, so tw for family death. and there’s a part where it’s said that the reader’s last name isn’t henderson (because she kept her original surname after being adopted) so if anyone’s reading this and your irl last name is henderson… just like pretend it’s not for a sec? oh also i hid a taylor swift lyric in here. first person to find it wins! anyways i hope y’all like it!!

summary: Your little brother's annoying DM is always hanging around and trying to bother you. Embarrassingly, you developed a crush on him, you were just too proud to do anything about it.

wordcount: 7.3k

tags/warnings: fem!virgin!reader (18+ and a high school graduate), also adopted!henderson!reader, slight mention of family death, fluff, smut, friends/frenemies to lovers, praise kink, fingering (f receiving), descriptions of masturbation (both f and m receiving), use of pet names (baby, princess), unprotected p in v penetration (she’s on the pill, use condoms irl of course), no use of y/n

“He’s not here,” you deadpan with a roll of your eyes as you open the front door. You weren’t expecting any visitors, so when you heard knocking you were quick to find a makeshift weapon before seeing who it was. Your paranoia diminished when you saw it was merely your little brother's DM.

“I’d be tempted to say ‘how do you know I’m not here to see you?’, but that lamp in your hands has me second guessing myself,” Eddie replies with a laugh, pushing past you to enter your home without permission. “You gonna attack me, princess? Didn’t know you found me that annoying.”

“I’m a young woman home alone, and a lot of really strange things happen in this town,” you explain, setting the lamp back down on the end table. “Sue me for being defensive.”

He shakes off his backpack and tosses on the floor. “Better safe than sorry I guess,” he agrees, though you can hear his amused smirk in his tone. “Why you home alone? Your mom got a hot date or something?”

“Book club,” you correct him while crossing your arms, “And Dustin’s sleeping over at the Wheeler’s.”

Eddie hums in response, licking his lips as he looks you up and down. “Cute pajamas,” he says, winking at you.

At his comment, you realize with a start that your robe had fallen open, and crossing your arms only accentuated the suggestive low cut of your silk nightie. Quickly scrambling to cover yourself and retie the knot, you frustratedly grumble, “What are you even doing here? Dustin didn’t say anything about you coming over.”

He flops down on the couch, kicking his feet up on the coffee table and settling into the well-worn cushions, making himself at home. “He talked me into letting him DM for a campaign, so I thought I’d stop by with my copy of the Dungeon Master’s Guide. He was bitching about only having the Player’s Handbook and Monster Manual, so…” he trails off with a shrug as he leans forward to snatch the remote to the TV from next to his boot.

“Get your dirty shoes off of my mother’s clean furniture,” you scold before physically grabbing his ankles and forcing his feet to the floor. “Can you at least pretend to have manners?”

“I could try, but then you wouldn’t have a crush on me anymore,” he laughs, then hooks one of his fingers into the belt of your robe, pulling you down to be seated next to him. He rests his arm on the back of the couch behind your shoulders, not reacting when you retort with a curt ‘In your dreams.’

You know that logistically you could make him leave- this was your home, after all- but the possibility of him actually going without protest was very low. It seemed like Eddie’s favorite thing in the world was annoying you, and sometimes you find yourself missing the days back when he barely acknowledged your existence. He was originally two years ahead of you in school, but due to him being held back twice he ended up being a part of your graduating class. You didn’t run in the same crowd, in fact you couldn’t have been further out of each other’s social spheres. You were quite popular, invited to many parties, even won prom queen your senior year. Eddie, on the other hand, only showed up at parties to sell drugs, and didn’t attend prom for any of his senior years. 

When your little brother entered high school, you worried about him being bullied. You were aware that most of the school’s population were under the impression that Dungeon and Dragons was a devil worshiping cult, and the Hellfire club along with it. Having been exposed to the game for so long thanks to Dustin’s nerdy interests, you knew better than what the propaganda surrounding D&D tried to peddle to the public, but you held concerns that your status-obsessed ‘friends’ wouldn’t be so easily convinced otherwise. Popularity was never something you sought out, it just came naturally to you, and while it was nice always having weekend plans there was no way in hell you were going to let anyone give your baby brother and his friends any shit. If sticking up for your family made the ‘cool kids’ at school not want to have you in their clique, then that was fine by you. To your surprise, everyone seemed to get the message loud and clear that Dustin and his band of misfits were off limits bullying-wise, and you were able to stay relatively well liked by your peers.

The first time you stood up for Dustin, it was a few weeks into his freshman year in the hallway before first period. One of the guys from the basketball team was giving him a hard time, and you marched right up to the meathead jock and shoved him away. You made sure to get your point across that if you ever saw him fucking with your brother again that you weren’t afraid to fight back. The opposing boy cowered away, not expecting one of the most popular girls at Hawkins to so adamantly defend who he considered a ‘nerd’. Word traveled fast, and by lunchtime the hottest gossip was how you sucker-punched Damian Smith square in the jaw outside of Mrs. Hackett’s classroom this morning. It wasn’t true by a long shot, but you found it rather amusing how much the story got twisted when there were so many witnesses. That day was also the first time you spoke to Eddie.

He had cornered you in the cafeteria, and was attempting to use his ‘bad boy, outcast’ demeanor to intimidate you into leaving Dustin alone. Some of the cheerleaders got the attention of their boyfriends, and pretty soon a group had gathered to see why someone at the bottom of the food chain was messing with you. You called them off with a wave of your hand, then took Eddie’s arm to drag him out into the hall and figure out what the hell he was talking about. He clearly had the wrong idea, because he was telling you off about ‘pretending to stand up for the nerdy freshmen’ and how he ‘knew this was part of some elaborate prank’.

He had no idea you were Dustin’s sister. It made sense, you didn’t look all that similar and you didn’t even share a last name. Your biological parents were family friends of the Hendersons, and they died when you were fairly young. You were legally adopted by your godmother, and were raised as a member of the family. Most everyone who you’ve told has tried to console you after learning the truth, and while it is sad that you didn’t get to grow up with your birth mother and father, you know you were lucky to be a Henderson (by love, not by name). Family is family, even if there’s no blood relation, and that’s exactly what you told Eddie. You let him know that he could accuse you of being one of those airheads whose main concern is how many pages of the yearbook they make it on, but that wasn’t going to stop you from beating the shit out of anyone who tried to give your brother a hard time.

With Eddie becoming a close friend of Dustin’s, even somewhat of a role model (much to your dismay), you saw him pretty often. He was always finding excuses to come over, and you suspected it had something to do with his new life mission of bothering you at every waking moment. The two of you didn’t hate each other per se, on the contrary you actually always secretly enjoyed spending time with the metalhead, despite your differences. That being said, your rapport consisted mainly of jestful bantering, constantly trying to have the one-up in the exchange. You both finished high school together, he actually gave you a ride to graduation (not without a snide comment on the length of your dress, prompting a middle finger from you). Now you were taking a gap year before college and he was staying in Hawkins to focus on his music, the plan being to move to Indianapolis when the final member of Corroded Coffin graduated. With the freedom awarded by not attending Hawkins anymore- from both the stressful preparation for another four years of school and the pressure to stick to the status quo- you found yourself spending a lot of downtime with Eddie. You’re not quite sure either of you would readily call the other a friend, but maybe relationship labels were overrated. All you knew was that if Dustin was hitching a ride home, you could count on Eddie’s van being parked in the driveway for at least a couple hours while he berated you inside.

Lately though, the playful bickering between you two morphed into what almost felt like flirting. Eddie seemed to be laying it on thicker and thicker each time he came to see you, as if he was testing the waters for how much he could get away with without you getting upset. What he didn’t know, however, was that you’ve been harboring a secret crush on him for a while now. After actually getting to know him through the excuse of you both caring about Dustin, you came to the realization that he’s not all bad like his reputation.

Eddie switches on the TV, turning it to your favorite channel without asking and setting the remote back down on the table. It’s the little gestures like these that have you falling harder for him everyday. You lose your train of thought getting lost in fantasies of doing exactly this with him, only while being able to call him your boyfriend. You’re ripped back to reality when his arm shifts from the back of the couch to actually over your shoulders. His face doesn’t show any sign that he thinks of this as overly intimate, so you try to not let any reaction show.

Some hours pass this way, and you wonder how long Eddie plans to stay for. You silently pray that your neighbors won’t say anything to your mom about his van parked in the driveway, but even if they do, the tingling you felt in your chest was well worth it- and besides, no matter what she said, you were an adult. Just as you're thinking this, Eddie stands to pick his bag up off of the floor, slipping the books he brought out onto the coffee table, before zipping it back up and holding it awkwardly in his hands.

“I guess I should probably get going,” he says with a shrug, “It’s getting late, and your mom will be home soon.”

“She said they were going to drink wine,” you respond. “You know Claudia, she wouldn’t drive after having even a sip. She’s going to sleep on her friend’s couch.”

“Oh,” he says, his eyes lighting up a little before he purses his lips and looks out the window. “Well, it’s pretty dark out now. I don’t wanna keep you up…”

There’s a brief pocket of silence, neither of you wanting to be the one to suggest what you’re thinking for fear of the other not returning the same feeling. You don’t want your disappointment at the idea of him not staying to be too evident, but you’re not sure how convincing you’re being. Your gaze drops down to his pretty lips, distracted by how he’s biting them, and wishing you could bite them instead. Faintly, so faintly you’re almost unsure if you even really heard it, he speaks your name, bringing your attention back to his eyes. You watch as he gathers the courage for his next words. 

“Can I kiss you?”

It’s like time stops. You resist the urge to squeal like a little girl with a crush, but that is exactly how you feel. Slowly, you nod your head before moving your lips to say, ‘Yes,’ though no sound escapes you. He drops the bag, and kicks it out of the way when it lands at his feet before taking long strides toward you. The both of you lean forward, and he tilts his head slightly to make room for your noses. His breath fans your lips as he hesitates to close the distance. Impatient after months of pining, you grab him by the zipper of his jacket and finally do what you’ve been dreaming about for so long. 

His lips are as soft as they look, and you conclude that your theory about his chapstick addiction is correct. With as much as he smokes (medicinal or otherwise), he must moisturize them pretty often. He actually tastes very faintly of tobacco, and you remember how he said he was trying to quit and only smoked cigarettes when he was jittery. You wonder if that meant that you make him as nervous as he makes you. The dirty taste was thankfully mostly covered up by a strong minty flavor, and that only makes you wonder even more, this time about if he also obsesses over little detail when he knows he’s going to see you. Whenever Dustin would inform you Eddie was on his way over, you would find yourself primping in front of the mirror, making sure your hair fell in place just the right way and your skin was clear of any blemishes. You even did this before you fully understood your feelings for the man were romantic. Picturing him having the afterthought to pop a mint before driving over to see you had you smiling against his lips.

“What?” he laughs, pulling away from you slightly and raising an eyebrow with both curiosity and amusement.

“Nothing,’ you reply, giggling softly. “Just thinking.”

“Oh? What about?” he asks, leaning in once again to peck you chastely before simply resting his forehead against your and gazing into your eyes. He walks you backwards, back to the couch and sits, pulling you down next to him.

You shake your head, still smiling. Your mind was racing a mile a minute and it was too much to explain, especially when the only thing you wanted was for him to kiss you silly. “Not now. Just come here,” you whisper as you thread your fingers through his hair and push yourself flush against him, ending up fully sat in his lap with his hands gripping your thighs.

You two last like this for a while, (mostly) innocently kissing, just enjoying the feeling of finally giving into temptation. Pretty soon, Eddie’s touch begins to roam, and your hips begin to rock. It was very quickly crossing the line from PG-13 to R. When you feel his cock harden beneath you, you make up your mind about what you want to happen.

“Eddie,” you moan while his tongue circles a bite mark he left on your neck, soothing the sting. He dismisses the sound, lost in his own world as his hands find purchase on your butt, assisting your movements against him. “Eddie,” you try again, shaking his shoulders slightly.

He immediately slides his hands up to a more modest area on your waist, and he lifts his head away from your neck to look at you. His pupils are blown wide, and his hair is wild. “Yeah, baby?” he says, sounding out of breath.

“Do you want to go to my room?” you ask. You can tell by the way he glances back down at your lips, then to your thighs, and finally back up to your eyes, that he knows exactly what you are implying.

“A- are you sure?” he forces out, barely believing what he’s hearing.

“I’m sure,” you confirm. “I’m ready.”

You’re both hurrying down the hallway, nearly tripping over each other’s feet in your haste. The walk to your bedroom is short, but after putting off the inevitable for so long, you can barely wait and have to resist jumping his bones before reaching your destination. Throwing open the door, he ushers you inside and shuts it behind him.

Eddie’s heavy leather jacket thuds as it hits the floor, his shirt being discarded soon after. Your mouth waters at the sight of his tattoos, but you barely have time to admire his partial nudity. He’s on top of you in a flash, pressing you into the wall and kissing you passionately. His curious hands rake over your body, and their wandering loosen the knot on your robe’s belt, causing the thick fabric to open slightly and expose your collarbone. Like a man starved, Eddie’s lips never lose contact with you as he rips the tie from your body, almost making you fall with the force behind it. He steadies you with his hands back on your waist, this time underneath the robe, and you can feel his touch so much better with only the thin silk of your nightgown between you. Shrugging the robe off, he helps you pull it down your arms before tossing it onto your carpet, and the cold air of your bedroom is fought off by his body warmth invading every inch of you.

“Do you want this as much as I do?” he whispers gravelly after parting his lips from yours.

He doesn’t need to clarify what exactly he wants, because you want it all with him. “I do,” you confirm.

He leads you over to your bed, a queen-sized four-poster, still unmade from this morning. You climb on top and turn to face him while sitting on your knees. He looms over you, standing at the foot of the bed with you kneeling on the mattress in front of him. His pretty eyes darken as he looks down and takes in your form.

“God, I like you like this,” he laughs from above you, “Is this what I gotta do for you to shut your mouth?”

“You like my mouth” you shoot back, sitting up to reach him and tangling your hands in his curls. You make a fist, thus pulling his hair slightly.

He grunts as you tug on his locks, but doesn’t let the innuendo in your last comment go. “You do have a real nice mouth,” he says as he swipes his thumb against your bottom lip. Before he can retract his hand, you open your mouth and suck the digit into it, swirling your tongue around the tip while looking up at him from behind your eyelashes.

“Fuck, baby,” he brokenly breathes out. 

The only thing you see in his eyes is pure unadulterated lust, and you feel your belly grow warmer at the thought of what he was going to do about it. He withdraws his hand only to place it on your neck, his palm on the front of your windpipe. He’s not applying any pressure, so you can’t call it choking, but just the implication of such a touch has arousal pooling in your underwear. His thumb is warm and wet on your throat, and when he trails his hand from your neck to the back of your head, the breeze of air on the leftover saliva makes your skin feel cool. Eddie drops his head and his lips meet yours once again, but only just barely making contact. You try to deepen the kiss, but he’s returned the favor of holding onto a tuft of your hair, making it impossible to press against him more firmly without your hair being pulled. He laughs at your cries of protest, but gives in, sucking on your bottom lip and nipping at it before licking his tongue past the threshold of your mouth.

Kissing like this isn’t the most comfortable, what with the springs of your mattress digging into your knees and your neck craning up to be able to reach Eddie, but you could stay in this position for hours if it meant he was going to keep touching you the way he was. The hand not tangled and tugging at your hair was sliding up your side, dragging the silk of your nightie up. He bunched the fabric up in a fist, which caused it to be lifted enough that your cotton panties were on display. You briefly worry about whether he was going to think the underwear you had on was sexy or not, considering it wasn’t silky or lacy like your nightgown was. It was just a simple and comfortable pair of navy blue panties with a white elastic waistband. 

While you were busy overthinking, Eddie bent at his knees and kissed down your jaw, releasing your hair to raise the fabric on the other side of your nightie up to the same level, then backed away to pull it the rest of the way up over your head and off your body. You felt a little self conscious, bare chested in nothing but a pair of underwear that wasn’t even sexy. Your arms went to fold in front of you, but Eddie dropped the silk and  grabbed your wrists, stopping you.

“Don’t cover yourself,” he whispers, his eyes glued to your body, “You’re so beautiful.”

Blood rushes to your head as you bite back a smile at his compliment. Any anxiety you previously felt about him judging you vanishes, and in its place comes even more need. Eddie tells you to lay down as he softly nudges your shoulder, and you do as he says with no contest. He hooks his fingers underneath the elastic of your panties before waiting for one last head nod from you. When you give the okay and lift your hips, he slowly pulls the fabric off of you, sucking in a breath when your bare pussy finally crosses his line of sight.

He crawls onto the bed and kisses up your torso, starting at your hip bone and making his way all the way up to your clavicle. The hard tent in his jeans rubs against the delicate skin of your inner thigh as he spends extra time marking up your neck, and you get impossibly wetter at the proof of the effect you have on him. When he pulls away, the mattress dips by both sides of your face due to him propping himself up by his arms. His legs bend as he sits up, successfully caging you in, and he takes a moment to just look at you.

“I’m gonna get you ready for me, okay baby?” he says quietly, one of his hands leaving their spot next to your head as he traces his fingertips lightly down the dip in between your breasts, over your belly button, and caresses your dripping slit.

“Yeah, okay,” you mutter out your consent. With your brain as cloudy as it was, you weren’t entirely sure what he was proposing, but you were at a point by now where you would agree to anything.

His middle digit slips easily past the soaked folds around your weeping hole, and he circles the entrance teasingly, collecting your juices before finally breaching, and just his fingertip enters into you. An embarrassing high pitched squeak escapes from your throat, and you raise yourself up onto your elbows to get a better look at what he’s doing to you.

“You wanna watch as I warm you up with my fingers, princess?” he croons at you sweetly. “It’s pretty, ain’t it?”

You take a deep gasp of air as his finger disappears further into you, his hands are bigger and tougher than your own, and the difference is very noticeable. He bends and straightens his wrist over and over, pumping in and out of you with ease, and the foreign feeling is strange yet pleasurable. Another finger slides inside, and he works them into you, opening you up. He’s determined to make the next step after this as satisfying for you as possible.

“You’re so wet and tight, baby. You’re gonna feel so good on my cock,” he practically mewls. There’s a wild look in his eyes, and it only steers you closer to your climax. “You want that, baby? You wanna make me feel good? Make me crave you all the time, even more than I already do?”

His words are slurring together as he rambles on about how perfect he knows your pussy is going to feel around him. For the life of you, you can’t form any response that isn’t loud moaning, but Eddie doesn’t seem to mind one bit. You feel the build up inside of you start, and your entire body tenses involuntarily as you prepare for what you know will be a mind-blowing orgasm.

“Are you gonna cum? My princess is gonna cum?” he asks, and you nod your head to the best of your ability given that the muscles in your neck are locked up. “You’re squeezing my fingers so fucking tight, baby. Show me how pretty you are when you cum. Show me, and I promise I’ll fuck you so good, so right. I’ll fuck you as many times as you let me, and I’ll do it anyway you want. Hard, slow, soft, fast… Just show me how perfect my girl is when she’s cumming around my fingers and I’ll give you what you need”

His promises push you over the edge, and you finish while crying out his name. Literally, you feel moisture leak from your eyes as your head pushes into the pillow beneath you. Eddie leans forward to kiss away the tears, all while still fingering you, helping you to ride out your orgasm for as long as possible.

“That’s it, that’s my girl,” you hear as you start to come back to the world. His hand slows down slightly, more focused on a deep and sensual rhythm, and you feel his hot breath on your temple as he continues to soothe you through your come down. “Did such a good job, sounded so pretty moaning my name, wanna make you make those sounds forever…”

He trails off as he pulls his hand away, and you both stare at his hand and watch how the light reflects off the glistening slick coating his fingers. He plunges them into his mouth, and groans around them at the taste as your jaw drops in disbelief. It was the hottest thing you’ve ever seen. Still recovering from both your shock and intense orgasm, you grunt out in annoyance when Eddie rolls off of you and stands up. You’re about to complain at the loss of contact, until you realize his reason for doing so was to unbutton his jeans. You instantly rise. Your head feels dizzy from sitting up too fast, but you push through the lightheadedness in order to give your full attention to what was about to happen.

Eddie hurriedly moves to yank his tight jeans down his legs, stumbling slightly but regaining his balance enough to not fall, then succeeds pulling down the denim and kicking his legs out of it. His legs are pale- as could be suspected from wearing nothing but full length pants in Indiana- and they look rather soft. You want to reach your hand out and graze his calf to see if they’re as soft as they appear, or if looks are deceiving and his dark wisps of leg hair actually have a coarse texture. There’s no time to dwell on that instinct, as very soon after discarding his pants he follows his boxers with them, and you’re distracted by hair in another area.

Eddie’s cock springs to his stomach when he straightens up from pulling off his underwear. The sight of it both makes you want to spread your legs and squeeze your thighs together, but the choice is made for you when Eddie takes your knee with one of his hands and settles between your legs on the bed. His lips met yours as his shaft grazed your soaked lips, brushing against your clit and causing you to buck up into hip, but your hips are pinned down by his pelvis. The pressure allows some relief, but you crave more.

“Fuck me,” you beg, “Please fuck me, Eddie.” You sound pathetic even to yourself, but you’re far past the point of no return as far as shame goes.

“Do you have protection?” he asks, in between kisses. “I didn’t bring condoms. I didn’t think- I didn’t expect you to actually-”

“I’m on the pill,” you cut him off. “Just fuck me.”

“Oh my god,” he groans, “Are you sure, princess?”

“Please, Eds,” you whine, “I need you.”

“You need me, baby?” he smiles against you while you nod your head. His teeth clash with yours as you try to pull him somehow closer to you than he already is. “I know what you need. I’m gonna give it to you, don’t worry.”

He lifts himself up so that he can grasp the base of his shaft, and slides up and down your slit before he positions the head of his cock to be poking your entrance. There was a stinging sensation as he stretched you out, sinking in slowly inch by inch until you can’t take anymore and have to stop him.

“Too big?” he asks, and the tone of his voice leads you to believe he’s asking this with genuine concern rather than inflating his own ego. He really doesn’t want to hurt you.

“I just need a s- second,” you stutter out while adjusting your pelvis, trying to ease the dull ache.

“Take all the time you need,” he murmurs while pecking you on the tip of your nose. Your hand immediately flies up to guide his lips to your own, and the emotion behind the kiss distracts you from the tenseness you feel, allowing you to loosen up slightly.

“God,” he moans, “you feel even more perfect than I imagined.”

A smug smirk crosses your face and you lift an eyebrow at him. “So you’ve imagined?” you ask, tilting your head and chuckling.

“Don’t act you haven’t fucked yourself with those fingers of yours while calling out my name,” he responds with a challenging look, “I can just picture it now, your sheets all crumpled from you tossing and turning, your hands cramping up but you ignoring it cause you’re so desperate to cum. Tell me, princess, when we would hang out, how long would you wait after I left to run up here and start rubbing this pretty little clit.”

As he tortures you with these (very true) accusations, his right hand snakes its way in between your bodies to start playing with your clit. He touches the nub with the tip of his thumb, applying pressure before rolling it in gentle circles. It’s too much and not enough at the same time.

“I asked you a question, baby,” he says, his lips now moving against your jaw as you focus on relaxing and getting used to the feeling of him inside you. “You gonna be a good girl and answer me?”

His vulgar words combined with his hand’s actions send you a wave of slick arousal, and suddenly you’re ready, and you want him deeper. “Eddie,” you whine, “more.”

“Nuh-uh,” he mutters, not moving an inch and keeping that deviously slow pace with his fingers. “I wanna hear about you touching yourself, princess.”

“Ugh!” you groan, kicking your leg out like a kid throwing a tantrum. “Eddie! It’s embarrassing!”

“No it’s not,” he comforts you, his left hand stroking your cheekbone as he leans down to kiss you sweetly on the lips. “When I’m thinking of you, I like to go nice and slow at first…”

Your breath gets stuck in your throat as you realize what he’s about to do. He’s going to tell you about him getting off to dirty thoughts of you. It should disgust you to know the boy who was teasing you and picking little fights for the past almost two years has been fantasizing about you, but it only gets you going more. You force your eyes open to look at him, and he’s already staring deeply at you, his face showing no signs of mocking.

“I think about those pretty lips, so soft. I think about what they’d feel like on my skin, around my cock.” His unabashed admissions are doing nothing to help with how impatient you’re getting, but his fingers stop circling your clit when you try to slide down deeper onto his dick yourself.

“I know you want it baby, but I’m trying to talk to you,” he whispers, “You don’t wanna be rude, do you? You already wouldn’t answer my question.”

“Sorry,” you whimper weakly, hoping that if you play along he’ll hurry up.

“So sweet for me,” he says as his hand starts up again and he nips at the sensitive skin in the crook of your neck. “I knew you’d be sweet. I knew your tough girl act was a show. All the times you got mouthy and bratty with me, you just wanted to be my sweet, good girl.”

“I take off everything but my panties. And then I lay down in bed, with the fan on cause I get hot. And I start feeling up my stomach-”

He cuts you off with a chuckle. “What are you talking about, princess?”

You bang your head on the pillow and start squirming. “I’m answering your question,” you whimper, “You’re taking too long, Eddie, I need it!”

His fingers circle your clit fast and he finally, finally sinks the rest of the way in you, bottoming out and filling you up so deep and full. “Keep going,” he orders as he starts rocking in and out of you at such a cruelly slow rate. As if reading your mind, he adds on, “I’ll go faster if you keep going.”

“Fuck, Eds,” you moan out in ecstasy, your mind empty and only able to think about his cock and what he’s doing to you. But you want- no, need- him to go faster, so you summon every brain cell you have and force yourself to speak semi-coherently.

“I feel up my stomach til I get goosebumps, and I start massaging my tits and thinking about what it would feel like if it was your h-hands,” you start to stutter as his left hand mimics your descriptions, tickling your abdomen as it makes its way to your chest. “And while I did that, I would spit on my fingers a little bit then stick my hand in my underwear, and I would start rubbing my clit.”

“And you imagined it was me doing it?” he interrupts, now thrusting into you a little harder and a little deeper, his hand massaging your breast before taking a nipple in between his thumb and pointer finger and rolling it gently. 

You nod your head, too lost in the feeling to answer verbally. He really started to pick up the speed now, hitting a spot in you that you were never quite able to reach on your own, and it’s so sinfully delicious that you feel like you’re going to black out from the intensity of the pleasure. He feels so perfect moving against you, the velvety skin of his cock merging so right with your inner walls. You chastise yourself for holding out for so long, if you had known how blissful it would be, you would have confessed the day you realized your feelings. The idea that you could have been doing this for nearly a year has you cursing whatever forces that kept you apart, though a bitter voice in the back of your head reminded you it was your own stubbornness.

“Then what do you do?” he urges you on.

“Um, I would stay like that for a little while,” you continue, finding it difficult to get your thoughts out into full sentences, “and then when I was close I would… um, like stop playing with my tits. So that I could use that hand to finger myself.”

“Fuck, princess. The way you describe it… I bet you look so pretty when you’re touching yourself,” he groans, now pummeling in and out of you in a steady, fast rhythm. His eyes keep switching between watching you and being scrunched closed, like he’s trying to focus on making this last but still wants to look at your face. “I wanna see it someday. Will you show me?”

“Yeah, mhm, sure,” you agree, not even really paying attention to what he was asking you due to being too lost in what you were experiencing. Your orgasm was near, and you wouldn’t be able to hold it off for much longer. “Eddie, I’m close,” you warn, your nails digging into his back as your arms tighten around his neck.

“Me too, baby,” he says back. The rocking of his hips combined with the closeness of his face caused his lips to brush against yours in a repeated pattern, and the intimacy of that only builds your climax up faster. “Where do you want it?”

Eddie Munson, the bane of your existence for the past couple of years is asking you where you want him to cum. “Inside,” you answer without thought. “Inside me, Eds, I wanna feel you leaking out of me.”

“Oh fuck. You can’t say shit like that to me. How am I supposed to keep living my life like normal after this?” he whines, “Are you gonna cum for me, baby? I want you to go first.”

As he finishes telling you this, the wire snaps and you feel electricity shoot throughout your body. Your second orgasm is much stronger than your first, and considering how the first one had you nearly losing consciousness, that was really saying something. The shockwaves make you feel like you’re literally vibrating around him, and being able to feel his dick twitching as he released his load into you only added to that feeling. You were a moaning mess, gasping in and puffing out little breaths of air as you hopelessly cry out, ‘I’m cumming, Eddie, you’re making me cum,’ along with assorted swears over and over and over. His grip on your waist loosened as he wrapped his arms around your middle and held on tight, burying his head into your neck as he rode out his own orgasm. He muttered something into your skin that you couldn’t quite make out with it being muffled, but it sounded suspiciously close to, ‘I love you,’ and your heart leapt at that possibility.

After a few minutes, after you both gathered yourselfs, he rolled over onto his back and you cuddled up to his side. Your head rested on his bare chest and your arms hugged around his stomach, pulling him as close as you could.

“So,” he starts, his arms folded behind his head and a crooked grin adorning his face, “was I the biggest you’ve taken, or does that happen with all the guys you bring home?”

You furrow your brows in confusion as you turn your head to look at him. “What do you mean?” you manage to mumble out.

“I mean, how tight you were. And how you couldn’t take all of me at first,” he says, like it was obvious.

“Well, in sex-ed they said the first time usually hurts. This wasn’t as bad as I was expecting though, just kinda stung a little bit at first,” you explain, laying your head flat against him once more and scraping at the nail on your index finger with your thumb.

Eddie stops moving and is quiet for a good thirty seconds. You start to feel a trickling of doubt, and become anxious that you somehow said the wrong thing. He reaches up to take your hand in his, effectively stopping your nervous finger picking and stealing your attention. When you glance back up at him he’s staring at you with wide eyes and an open mouth.

“Princess,” he says slowly, like somehow you were the one in this situation not making any sense, “You’re not telling me that was your first time.”

Oh. You suppose that was a pretty important tidbit of information you withheld that he probably would’ve liked to have known before you engaged in intercourse. In your defense, there was no reason for him to assume you weren’t a virgin. You only graduated high school the year prior, and during your time at Hawkins you never had a serious boyfriend. Even when you were being crowned prom queen, your date to the dance was James McKenna, and he came out as gay the week after graduation before moving to New York. Sure, you were privy to the rumors thrown around in the boy’s locker room about what you did to this guy under the bleachers and what you did to that guy at Skull Rock, but there was no more gossip surrounding you than the average cheerleader.

“I’m sorry,” you apologize, suddenly feeling guilty for not being completely transparent. “I guess I just thought you knew, or like, would be able to tell?” you say, your intonation changing to a questioning lilt by the end of your sentence.

He starts blinking his wide eyes frantically, his head shaking in disbelief as he tries to think of what to say. That self conscious dread from earlier starts to sneak it’s way back in, and you begin having second thoughts, worrying if he- like your high school friends- thought it was weird that you waited to have sex. He must have noticed the fear in your eye, because he held you tighter against him and comfortingly rubbed up and down your forearm.

“It’s nothing bad, I promise,” he says, speaking quickly. “I guess I just assumed. I mean, you were so popular. Everyone wanted you, anyone would have been lucky to have you-” you smile and blush at his words- “And those guys on the basketball team were always bragging and telling stories-”

“If a plate of spaghetti grew legs and started walking around, those guys would claim that they fucked it. Why would you listen to that noise?” you interjected, your annoyance clear.

He held his hands up in defense. “You’re right, I don’t know why I believed any of that crap. I know you have better taste than that. I mean, you like me, so that proves you have a much more sophisticated taste in men.”

“Sophisticated is one word for it, I guess,” you mumble while rolling your eyes, before sitting up to grab your nightie from the foot of the bed.

“If you weren’t active, why were you on the pill?” he questions you while rubbing your back.

“I’m a grown woman. I figured it was going to happen eventually, and I wanted to make sure I was ready when it did,” you answer distractedly as you work on turning your pajamas the right side out.

Eddie hums in understanding but is otherwise quiet as he watches you redress yourself, except for a cheeky wolf whistle when you need to bend over to pick up your panties. Once you're covered up again, you turn around to see him staring at you in amusement.

“What?” you ask with a smile, climbing back onto the bed and throwing a leg over his thighs, settling onto his lap. The tips of your noses brush against each other as you see that gleam in his eyes you recognize as him trying to stifle laughter when teasing you. “What is it?” you repeat, shoving him gently on his chest before looping your arms around his neck.

He shakes with silent laughter then leans back to quirk a brow at you. “A plate of spaghetti?” he asks. You grab a pillow to hit him in the head with, but drop it when you’re tackled and pinned down, giggling and kicking your feet as he kisses up your collar bone.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson smut #stranger things x reader #stranger things x you #stranger things fanfic #stranger things smut

[spookysteddie]

Tillmans Girl

18+ Minors DNI

cw: stripper reader, drinking, drug mention, murder mention, oral (m receiving), unprotected penetrative sex, pet names, slight choking, hair pulling, exhibitionism, biting. (Let me know if I missed anything)

wc: 3.9k

A/n: this is based off of the song Gibson Girl by Ethel Cain (pre warned about this here) and I need to make it very clear that this is LOOSELY based off of the song. It’s more about how I feel while listening to it and how I fit the reader and Gator into this. I also let Gator have some friends because he needs them for the story purpose. I love the concept I came up with and I hope you do too! 

A/N 2: friendly reminder this is fiction and half the shit in here wouldn't happen IRL. ❤️

… 

He was here again. 

Sitting in his usual spot, surrounded by his friends and drinking shit beer. And he’s watching you, like he always does. Like he has since he first came in here a little over a year ago, dressed in his sheriff's uniform to investigate a murder. 

And now, he’s here every Saturday, just watching. He isn’t the first guy to come to this club for you. He isn’t even the tenth. But he doesn’t speak to you like the others do, not more than he needs to and typically you’re the one to instigate the conversation. 

Gator Tillman has a pull to him, like he’s the sun and you're a planet in his orbit. You don’t know why he makes you feel the way he does, like you need to touch him. Every time you meet his eyes, he’s already looking back at you. It is unnerving but yet you look forward to Saturday nights. Look forward to the attention (and money) he gives you. 

Even an hour outside his home town everyone knows who he is, of course they do, half their parents voted for his father. Plus, you’ve all heard the stories about the Tillmans. You knew what you were dealing with when he came in. The other girls are afraid of him, though. They’re sure to make his and his friends drinks correctly and letting them all break a few rules, like touching the dancers. But not you. Gator Tillman didn’t scare you like he should, mainly intrigued you. It’s been a year of this cat and mouse game. You the cat, him the mouse, toying with him in the hopes he’ll ask for more time with you. 

His friends do get dances, most of them picking a new girl every week and tipping them well. But not Gator. The girls have tried to get him to buy dances from them, but he always brushes them off. All while staring at you. You’d never offered, again letting him come to you. But you also didn’t do private dances. You made most of your money on the stage, not really feeling like killing someone if they got handsy with you. 

Tonight though, was different. 

You could feel it in the air the second you saw him. The charge was there as usual, but when you handed him a drink after your stage time, he spoke to you. 

His voice was like silk as he spoke, pushing his dark sunglasses onto the back of his hat. It was night time so he kind of looked like a douchebag with them on. He didn’t care. He was a Tillman, just as cold blooded as his father, if not more. Obsessed with his power and the way people fell at his feet, gave him whatever he wanted. 

But not you. 

Never you. 

“You look very nice in red, sweetheart.” It takes you by surprise but you do well to not show it, a practiced mask. Never has he spoken to you for more than a drink order. 

You did, however, look nice in red. But it was rare you wore it because you didn’t need to give the men more reasons to want to touch you. You made plenty of money in any other color. Red, also was the color of the invisible blood that stains your fingers. The blood you can’t get off no matter how hard you try.

You put on your prettiest smile, “that’s very sweet of you.” 

A small smile tugs at his lips. He’s fucking beautiful and it’s painful to look at him, actually. 

“You do dances?” The question takes you by surprise because, like you said, he doesn’t get dances from the girls. He just drinks and tips very well. 

You cover it well, “only for you.” 

It’s not a lie. You would do dances just for him, any reason to get him closer. To get him alone. 

He nods, “how much?”

You smirk, “$350.” That was way more than the other girls charge. It’s North Dakota, it’s rare the men here can afford that. 

But he can. 

“Deal.” You watch as he pulls the money from his pocket, counting it out and handing it to you. 

You count it again just to be sure, slipping it in your top, “follow me, pretty boy.” 

He takes his drink and downs it before getting up and following you. He walks with confidence but you know better. He’s nervous, you can see it in the slight tremor of his hand. You decide you’ll let him break the rules, but not because he’s Roy Tillmans son. 

No, it’s because you have wondered for months what his hands feel like on your skin. You’ve also wondered what it would be like to get him in your bed; what he sounds like when he fucks. You know he’s more than experienced considering people like to talk. But you want to see it for yourself. You need to experience it for yourself. 

You take him to one of the private rooms, the red room considering he likes you in red. He sits down tentatively, running his hands down his jeans. He’s so hot when he’s nervous. It makes you smile as you shut and lock the door. 

The music is a little quieter in here, the small knob on the wall allowing you to turn it higher or lower. Some of the girls don’t like these rooms, scared they’ll get hurt by the men they bring in here. It’s understandable, most opting to give them in the room where extra security is.

But Gator would never hurt you. 

“Surprised you asked for this, pretty boy.” 

He takes a deep breath and leans back, “like I said, look nice in red.” 

You slowly walk over, standing between his spread legs, “too kind to me, Tillman.” 

He balls his fists as he tries to respect the law of not touching strippers. But Gator was the law, he could do whatever he wanted. His father would get him out of any shit he gets himself into. Either way, you’d let him touch you in any way he wants. 

You bend at the waist, running your hands up his thighs. His breath hitches a little and it makes your stomach flip with satisfaction. He’s affected by you, you’ve known this for a while. But the verbal confirmation makes your head spin. 

Your hands slide over his stomach and onto his shoulders, pushing off his black leather jacket. “Let’s take this off and get comfortable, yeah?” He lets you take it off and toss it to the side. His black shirt grips his body perfectly, showing off his muscular build. 

You stand back up to your full height, turning the music up just slightly, enough for you to hear him if he decides to speak to you. And then you go back to him, dipping low and letting him run his eyes all over you. For once it makes you feel sexy. Maybe it’s because Gator isn’t an animal. He’s respectful. Or, well, as respectful as one can be in a place like this. 

You look up at him through long lashes as you straddle his hips, being careful not to let your centers touch. You don’t want to force anything on him, scare him away. But you do run your hands up his arms, putting his hands on your hips. 

“Can touch me. You’re the exception to that rule,” you giggle and wink at him. 

You can see his confidence starting to rise. Typical man who just wants to feel special. Gator, though, deserves to feel special. You didn’t grow up with him, between living one town over and your parents opting to send you to private school. But people talk. You know about the shit his dad does, how he uses religion and intimidation to keep his son in line. It was sick. 

He grips your hips, guiding you down to grind against him. He’s hard, of course he’s hard, all of them are. They can try all they want but their cocks have a mind of their own. You can tell he’s worried about it, about how you’ll feel. You don’t care. You never care. In fact, the friction on his hard cock on your clit feels… nice. 

“Why am I the exception?” 

You grin down at him, hands by his head on the couch, “use your big boy brain and think about it.” 

He laughs a little, “cause you’re afraid of me?” 

That makes you throw your head back and laugh hard, “oh, pretty boy, neither you or your daddy scare me. In fact, I’d be more than happy if you put me in cuffs.” 

He’s taken by surprise at your admission, shuddering a little, “should be ‘fraid of me.” 

You stand, turning the lights a little lower, “it’s you who should be afraid of me.” 

You can still see him, even in the dim, red lights. Fuck he was so beautiful. You start back your dance, his eyes still looking over your body. 

“I ain’t afraid of anything, angel.” 

You know that’s a lie. He’s terrified of his daddy, and everyone is afraid of death. But you brush it off, getting so close to him you could kiss him if you wanted. And you do, but you won’t let him know that. Not yet. 

“You, Gator Tillman, are the exception because everyone here thinks you’re so pretty.” 

He raises a brow, “pretty? Not the word that should be used f’me.” 

You shrug, “agree to disagree.” 

“I was told ya don’t do dances,” his voice is gravely and you know he’s doing everything he can to not kiss you. “Decided to ask anyway.” 

You pull back settling in his lap, not dancing anymore, “I don’t, but like I said, you’re the exception.” 

He hums, letting his hand run up your thigh, “I’m honored. Prettiest girl in this building.” 

“Flattery, Tillman, won’t get you much round here.” 

He smirks, the look making you want to kiss him just a little more, “will get me the ability to take ya home?” 

You think the shots he took some time ago are finally hitting him. Or he’s snorted some cocaine and it’s just hitting him. Probably the former. 

“M’not supposed to go home with the customers. Sorry, pretty boy.” 

Not a lie. You aren’t supposed to go home with the men here, both for fear of being murdered and because it can cause issues for the owner. The girls too, of course. God forbid you date a patron and then break up. It’s just awkward for everyone here. 

His hand slides further up your leg, resting right under the crease of your ass. Men have been killed for touching you there without asking. But this time it doesn’t make your blood boil like it should. It makes your stomach flip and your heart race. 

“I’m the law, baby. The rules don’t apply to me,” he’s looking up at you with big brown eyes, though they look black in this light. 

The rules don’t apply to him, you told him as such earlier. You remind him as such and he squeezes your hip. You swallow the squeak that threatens to come out, instead moving to straddle him once again. 

“Come on, baby, we’ve been playing this game for a year. Come home with me.” 

You swallow. You would be a liar if you said you didn’t want to go home with him. To let him get the rest of your clothes off and fuck you. For him to slide his cock down your throat while you’re on your knees. 

You know it would feel good. You know you’d enjoy whatever he threw at you, enjoying men who are rough but respectful. And by the feel of the hardness nestled on your clothed core, he could throw a lot at you. 

You can feel your mouth water at the idea of what he looks like under his pants. But he’s going to have to work harder if he wants you to go home with him. 

“Gonna take more than that to get me in your bed, Gator.” 

He thinks, hands roaming to grab the fat of your ass, “I could give you everything, angel. Anything you want, it’s yours.” 

You giggle a little, “yeah? Anything?” 

He nods, licking his lips, “anything. I’d give you anything. Could treat you real nice.” 

“How do you know I don’t already have someone treating me real nice? Hmm? Bold of you to assume I’m single,” you raise a brow at him. You’re lying through your teeth, making him work for it. 

“Trust me, baby, I know you’re single.” His eyes fall from yours to your lips and back. 

You get a little closer, his scent masculine and woodsy, “doing research on me?” 

That should be creepy, it should result in a knife in his neck (it might’ve happened a time or two..) but not with him. However, you know why he did the research. He had to after the murder last year, to rule you out as a suspect. 

“I did. So, you can’t lie ya way out of it. Lemme treat you right, pretty angel.” 

“I’m no angel,” your voice is just above a whisper, enough for him to hear you. 

He laughs, “agree to disagree.” 

He slides his hands to your hips, squeezing gently. 

“And if I say yes to goin’ home with you? Will you hurt me?” 

“No more than you ask me to.” 

You decide you can’t take it anymore, needing him too much. You’ll curse yourself later for folding too easily. You close the gap, a whole year of the chase coming to a head. The second your lips connect with his you feel like you’re on fire. He kisses you softly, nervously and it isn’t till your tongue begs for entrance into his mouth, that he kisses you harder. 

His hands are all over you, running up your sides and letting his fingers tangle in your hair. You rock your hips absentmindedly, needing more friction. 

Gators lips move down your throat, kissing and nipping at the skin and making you moan. He smirks against you and gently lips his hips to add more pressure. Fucking asshole. You grab his face, pulling him back to your mouth, your tongue licking into his mouth. 

He pulls back first, breathless, “I need you. I need to be inside you.”

Your stomach flips again because you love when a man begs for you. Especially men in powerful positions. You feel his confession right in your core. 

“A Tillman begging? What would your daddy say about this?” You’d never say a word to his daddy about this, of course. Roy Tillman can kiss your ass. 

Gator, of course, also knows this, “I don’t care what he’d say. He doesn’t need to know what I do when I’m off work.” 

You smirk, you’re more than willing to let him inside you. But first, you needed to see what you were working with. You slither to your knees, looking up at him, “this okay?” 

He nods, only giving you a verbal answer once you lift your brows, “yes. Please.” 

Your hands move to his belt, unbuckling it and popping the button of his jeans. You can feel his cock jump in his pants and you swallow down a giggle. It’s cute how excited he is actually. You’d be a liar to say you aren’t excited. It’s been a while since you had sex with someone and it’ll be the first time you’ve fucked someone at your job. You’re glad there are no cameras in this room because you’d absolutely get fired. 

You pull his jeans and boxers down till they puddle at his feet, allowing his cock to spring free. You can’t contain your reaction to the sight of his cock. He’s huge, his cock thick and has a slight curve. It’s beautiful and you feel dumb admitting that to yourself. It’s not the first you’ve seen but it’s definitely the prettiest you’ve seen. 

“Wow…” you whisper it but you know he heard you by the smile that spreads across his face. 

“You like it?” He’s cocky and it’s clear you aren’t the first girl to react this way. 

You just nod, gently gripping it in your hand. The weight of it makes your mouth fill with spit. You lean forward, licking a long stripe up it. He lets out a long moan, his head falling back against the couch. 

You smirk to yourself before taking him into your mouth. You work slow, making sure your throat is relaxed. You bob your head slowly, looking up at him as you work and for the first time he’s not looking back at you. He looks so pretty like this, head thrown back, hands balled into fists. 

“Fuck… this is s-so much better than I imagined,” his voice coming out rough and strained. 

You just moan against him, bobbing your head a little faster and taking him a little deeper. He hits the back of your throat and his head snaps down to you. The second your eyes meet his cock jumps in your throat, making you gag slightly. 

“Ah! That’s it, baby,” his hands fall into your hair, pulling and pushing you into his cock. 

You can’t help the moans that leave you from the pain of his hands in your hair. You know your cunt is soaked, your clit throbbing. So, you take him deep and hold him there, letting spit drool from your mouth and onto what you can’t fit in your mouth before pulling off of him. You lick your lips as you stand and straddle him. 

“How bad do you want to fuck me?” You kiss him lightly, just a taste. 

He takes a shaky breath, “s-so bad. Been thinking about it since the first time we met.” 

You pull your panties to the side, settling down so he’s resting against you. The head of his cock bumps your clit the second to start to rock your hips. The friction feels incredible against your aching clit. 

You need more but you’re trying not to rush it. 

“Been thinking about being inside me for over a year huh? Such restraint you have, pretty boy.” 

He shakes his head, letting out a small grunt, “I-I didn’t. S’why m’ here every Saturday. Gotta get my fill of ya for the week.” 

“Yeah? You sound a little obsessed.” 

He nods, “j-just a little.” 

You sit up on your knees using your hand to steady his cock and look up at him, “you still want this? You can say no and it’ll be fine.” 

He shakes his head so fast, you’re worried he’s gonna get whiplash, “no! Please fuck me. Please. Need it so fuckin’ bad. B-but I didn’t bring a condom with me. I-I’m clean I swear. I-If that ain’t okay I’ll survive. But I really wanna fuck you.”

You kiss him softly, loving the consideration and to stop his rambling, “I’m more than clean and I’m on birth control. Is that okay? Still wanna continue. I do if you do.”

He lets out a breath and relaxes, “that’s fine. I promise.” 

It’s all the conformation you need before slowly sinking down on him. All you have inside you is the tip and already the burn hurts so good. Gators hands grip your hips, mouth falling open as he helps you sink down more. 

“Oh my god, Gator,” you feel like he’s in your throat and you don’t even have him all the way inside you. He’s everywhere all at once and you love every second of it. 

Gator pulls you down more and captures your lips in a deep kiss. And then, he thrusts up inside you, seating himself fully inside your tight pussy. The action pushes all the air from your lungs, making you pull back from the kiss. You decide then that if you died this way, you wouldn’t be pissed. 

Even if God decided to bitch about all the sins you’ve committed.

That is, if you even go to heaven. You doubt you will at this point. 

Whatever. 

Gator stays still, letting you adjust and letting you rest your head on his chest to catch your breath. It’s slow to come back but once it does, you lift yourself and slam yourself back down. 

“Fuck! Fuck!” He’s loud and you're glad the club is loud enough that no one can hear you. Not that you’re opposed to that, but again, people like to talk and you aren’t keen on ending up in an unmarked grave. Gators daddy would kill you if you spread rumors that make Gator look like the sinner he is. 

You do it again, finding a rhythm, “you like that, pretty boy?” 

You slide your hands into his hair, loosening the strands there with a hard tug. He groans, his hips bucking up and hitting against your cervix. You’ll probably be bruised there tomorrow but that’s not your issue at the moment. 

The curve of his cock hits your sweet spot perfectly, making you whine and ride him faster. 

“Uh-huh. S-so tight and warm and perfect,” he’s rambling but it’s cute. “D-didn’t think we’d ever do this.” 

You smile, pulling a little harder at his hair, strands falling loose from their usually gelled place. “Paid me a lot of money, baby. Gotta treat you special.” 

“I-isn’t that prostitution?” He pushes out a breathless laugh. 

You can’t stop the giggle that comes out of you either, “maybe. But only if we say it is. I was j-joking.” You lean forward, changing the angle to hit that spot a little harder, “dedication got you here. And of course you’re so pretty. Prettiest boy.” 

Gators hand slides from your waist and finds your clit with ease, thank god. He uses his thumb to draw small circles, making that coil grow tighter and tighter. 

“Keep calling me that and I’ll cum before you do. C-can’t have that.” He plants his feet and sets the pace. He fucks you hard and fast. It feels so fucking good and you know this isn’t the last time you’ll be doing this. 

Can someone get addicted to another's cock? 

Yes is the only right answer considering how all you can think about is Gators cock and chasing your orgasm. 

“Such a gen-gentleman, Gator.” 

“Only for you, angel. Only for you.” 

The band inside you snaps, your orgasm slamming into you hard.

You cry out, leaning forward to bite Gators shoulder and muffle your screams. That is what pushes Gator over the edge, emptying inside you. Thank god for birth control. You both deflate, him growing soft as your cunt spasms with aftershocks. 

Gator breaks the silence first, “gonna let me take you home and take care of you?” 

It makes you laugh but you do think about it, weigh the pros and cons. “If I agree, you can’t ever come back here again. S’a rule not to date our customers.” You sit up so you can see his face, judge his reaction. 

A slow, sleepy smile spreads across his face, “deal! Won’t need to see you here when you’re coming to sleep in my bed.” 

All you can do is laugh and kiss him, deciding this time, you won’t have to murder a man you dated. 

#gator tillman x y/n #gator tillman x fem!reader #gator tillman fic #gator tillman #gator tillman smut #gator tillman x reader #gator tillman imagine #joe keery fargo #fargo fanfic #fargo spoilers #fargoedit

[sailor-aviator]

Hey.

Go ahead and get settled because this will be...long, in true Liz fashion.

So, by now I'm sure most of you have heard what's happened. If not, you can search this blog for some answers or others for more.

I joined this fandom offiicially at the end of September after being a long time lurker. I had just lost my job and times were uncertain for me. I felt inspired to write, and as someone whose formative years were shaped by the fandom experience, I wanted to feel that sense of belonging again - to feel like a part of a community. I've talked about it on here before, but I started my fandom days in the original Hunger Games fandom when the first movie had just come out, and then I shifted gears towards the SuperWhoLock fandom. If you know anything about SuperWhoLock, then you know you had to have pretty tough fucking skin to be a part of any of it.

Of course, this was back in the day when fandom was an actual community and not authors having to beg for scraps of engagement and people thinking its a numbers game. I was a fairly large blog within the SuperWhoLock community (Waywardly-Carrying-On was the username), but I left fandom for a few years because life got hectic and I felt like I had outgrown the fandom itself as I was no longer watching any of the shows. As the years went on, I started to yearn for the fandom experience again, which is how I found myself dipping toes into several different ones.

I was so excited to publish my first fanfic. I had convinced myself that I wasn't a good writer (much to the chagrin of my irl friends), and I had put a pause on writing my original story. I wanted to write this idea about a cowboy and a girl using characters that I had grown to love like I did way back in my older days. So, I started posting, and I was so excited for the story, that I kept posting almost daily. MamaMay was one of the first people to embrace not only my story, but me as a person into the fandom. She made me feel welcomed and wanted.

Pretty much right off the bat I was already getting anons telling me that I was being too much and that I needed to calm down with all the posting. I was confused because...this is Tumblr. It's literally a blogging website? Why wouldn't I post? I decided to ignore the mean words (not before giving my opinion, of course) and kept on doing my thing. Well, the anons got continually worse and worse. I had a suspiscion as to who the anons could be, but I never had concrete proof. So, I experimented with blocking suspects until finally it worked. I'm not naming names because that's not my style, so don't even bother asking.

The fact of the matter is, some of you have entered fandom spaces for the first time, and you don't know how to act. You don't care to learn fandom etiquette as you've made abundantly clear by calling fandom olds every name under the sun while utilizing the anonymous feature. Newsflash, you're part of the problem. You're the reason why authors don't want to publish anymore. You are the reason that something that's supposed to be fun is starting to feel like a goddamn chore.

How many times can authors on here say that we aren't machines? We have lives outside of this website: family, friends, jobs, school, etc. Some of you really are just hellbent on making everyone around you miserable, and it's sad. You can't just leave well enough alone and let people enjoy something, no you feel like everyone has to enjoy it the same way as you.

Some of you go after authors on here because of some weird sense of jealousy too. I don't know why my shit blew up, babe, I really don't. But I started out with no followers and no support just like everyone else. I'll tell you what helped me though: following fandom etiquette and reaching out to other creators to build an actual community. None of this "I've reblogged three of your things and now I'm messaging you so that you return the favor." No, I reached out to make actual friendships which is what fandom is SUPPOSED to be. If someone was clearly not interested, it was fine!! I backed off and kept doing my own thing.

Some of you think being mean on the internet makes you big and bad. Guess what! It doesn't! It's loser mentality and I feel genuinely sorry for you. I'm sorry that people in your own life made you feel so small as to feel like you had to lash out at strangers on the internet who are just trying to have fun.

Anyway, this is my really long way of saying that I am taking a break for a little bit. I have no idea how long it will be - could be the weekend, could be a couple of weeks, could be forever. I need time to decide if this is something I want to keep persuing. If I come back, I don't know if I will remain a TGM blog or if I'll shift gears and hop into another fandom with a rebrand. Guess we'll just have to see.

To the people on here who have been a constant source of joy, laughter, and support: thank you. From the bottom of my heart. Your presence has meant everything to me, and I hope that my break sees me wanting to come back and giggle about the silly plane movie with you all again.

Nothing but love,

Liz 💛

#psa #public service announcement #this has been a psa #liz speaks #liz rambles #long post

[musical-chick-13]

so what is this fic actually about?

oh god. okay I'm going to put this under a cut because of the topics involved.

Content warning for: discussions of consent (which includes mentioning non-con themes), discussions of intense kink practices, and references to cult-related trauma as per DW canon.

I will continue tagging all posts about this fic, as well as posting the fic itself, with "The Fic That's A Lot," as well as "c2g" which is an abbreviation of its title.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS IN ANY WAY, I MEAN IT

I am going to be frank, this fic is about CNC. If you don't know what that is...well, it's highly probable this is not the story for you. But I will provide an explanation anyway if anyone's curious.

CNC stands for, in this context, "Consensual Non-Consent," which probably seems like an oxymoron. It refers to people roleplaying a fictional scenario where one of the parties involved pretends (key word pretends) to object to, protest, or otherwise not want to participate in a sexual encounter--this is what the "non-consent" part of the name refers to. Meanwhile, the other party pretends (again, key word pretends) to coerce the protesting party into some kind of sexual activity. The parties are, in a sex/kink situation, acting out a pre-agreed scene--which is what the "consensual" part of the name refers to, that pre-agreement--of non-consent.

It is important to note that this is not the same thing as actual assault: Boundaries are intensively discussed beforehand, and everyone involved decides together on a separate safeword and/or physical movement that anyone can use to end the roleplay scene immediately. Someone may be using words like "Stop" or "No" within the scene itself because they are playing the role of someone who does not consent to what is currently happening (akin to acting in a play or a movie, where an actor has to pretend to like or dislike or approve or disapprove or want or not want various things, regardless of whether any of that matches up with who they actually are as a person--in a CNC scenario, the people are playing characters, albeit in a much, much more intense way). But if something happens in this roleplay scene that someone does genuinely object to, there is a separate mechanism (sometimes several mechanisms) serving as a way out, fulfilling the function that something like "stop" or "get away from me" would fulfill in a non-CNC encounter.

ALL OF THIS TO SAY. The premise of this particular story examines how both of these characters (this is an 11/R fic, and I am trying very hard to make sure this post doesn't end up in the show or character tags) would get to the point where they realize this is something they want to do. And then, from there, once they've separately and individually realized that: What do they discover about themselves and their relationship in the process? How do they talk about it once it becomes clear that this is something they both want? How do they feel about wanting it? How does this interact with the woman in question having a background of, essentially, being brainwashed by a cult and having her childhood stolen? And how does this situation relate to how these characters view the concepts of control and romantic love? (Honestly, even more than the CNC itself, which is something that gets frequently maligned as romanticizing/normalizing abuse when people write about it, the most controversial part of this is that I put her in the sub role and not the dom role, lmao. Which I have a whole essay in my brain on why that is based on various lines/scenes/behavior in canon, but I don't think that's important right now and also this answer is already too goddamn long.) And then, in addition to all those aforementioned things, what are some of the other facets of their relationship outside of this?

Like I have mentioned at-length. This is. A lot. There's a reason the average person does not engage with CNC. And there is a lot of communication and set up that has to happen for this to work. (I had to do. SO much research for this.) But I want to confirm that nothing actually non-consensual happens in this story. He doesn't ever come anywhere remotely near hurting her (he doesn't even actually fantasize about anything, he just realizes he Has Some Particular Ideas and then feels really bad about them). And although I'm not going to spoil specifics, they both have a very positive experience with it.

I will say, though this is dual pov, more of it is from his perspective, and he is acting out the role of the aggressor. So that's another thing people need to be mindful of if they have an interest in reading this once it's up.

#The Fic That's A Lot #c2g #I am...not sure how to tag this #tw: cult mention #tw: cnc #tw: assault mention #tw: abuse mention #minors dni #minors do not interact #nsft #I *think* that's it? if there's something else I need to trigger tag for PLEASE let me know #I am going to be turning off anonymous asks after I post this answer #I don't anticipate the people who have been following this saga in detail sending a torch-and-pitchforks mob at me but random other #people might find this post through my blog & I don't trust random other people. like I said: when people write about this #there are LOTS of accusations thrown around about 'romanticizing/normalizing assault or abuse' regardless of how it's written #and I just do NOT have the energy for that lmao #(I mean people throw around those accusations about people who do this irl too #but no irl people ARE doing anything here because this is a story) #(and honestly I really just don't think I have the right to tell people what they can or can't do in their sex lives) #and also. someone's niche fic on ao3 doesn't '''owe''' potential readers the most Nuanced Discussion Of A Topic Ever #at the end of the day these are completely fictional characters and--by virtue of being. not real--nothing anyone does in writing #can ever hurt them. just tag all your stuff correctly and make sure you know internally what your own irl values are #and remember that sometimes people are just...going to have an interest in exploring shit that you're going to find weird. #but it doesn't involve you so you've got to practice going 'huh that's weird don't like that' and move on #(<-including myself in this I also need to practice this)

[maxzinn]

off topic but also on topic its so clear that the genshin/star rail (saying both cause theres a large overlap) have no capability of thinking.

there are so many fics where *reader* somehow becomes a (sex)slave or is forced to do horrible shit and just general dead dove behavior. the fact that the author used INGAME LORE, CANON BACKSTORY FOR THE CHARACTER proves how braindead so many people are.

like people try to free slaves/captors in media isnt a new thing. theres a lot of art of that angelhusk ship where one gambles for the others freedom (never watched it but its an example)

like having slaves/captors in media isnt new and never has been but the only reason people truely care is because its a hoyoverse game and cant handle anything darker or complex then a PG rating

(sorry anon, I got carried away with this one tee-hee)

YOU'RE SO REAL FOR THIS!!! y'know I was sooo confused when people started screaming for blood when the authors are using his IN-GAME LORE in their fics and then claims that the people who enjoyed writing those have "white-knight syndrome" like cmon sjsadhjg you're giving me a fucking stroke.

I'll say it again, wanting to give slave aventurine or someone a better life DOESN'T mean they have "white-knight syndrome" when they have good intentions!!! We were all were crying for him and his tragic past, we all wanted to comfort him, and we at some point also wished for his salvation and the betterment of his life. These people need to stop throwing these "white-knight syndrome" accusations cuz it's definitely not about that. And like you said, it was his IN-GAME LORE. I already expected some authors to write about reader saving him from his slavery and there's nothing wrong with that! Cuz please, don't tell me you won't help the guy out of his abusive owner, let's be fr here.

Like you also said, many have been writing yandere/heavy dark themes about reader being literally SA'd and R'd by said character (do not tell me you guys haven't read all those fics where Aven was our debt collector and in paying our debt, he noncon or manipulated us into sleeping with him 💀) and now they wanna talk about morals?

And please, don't even try bringing up Romania or irl people in here. IT'S A FICTIONAL RACE IN A FICTIONAL STORY. it may be "inspired" like they said, but it's not directly addressing Romania!!

I get their point alright, I truly do. Like I said in my other post, I do not condone the sex slave! aus about aventurine and the master/slave bdsm cuz his story truly hurt me and I'm uncomfortable sexualizing his slavery when I know about his story and what happened to him as a slave. But I won't go as far as to actually send death threats to those authors and act like a hypocrite💀 people can write what they want to write and I don't have to read those writings if I don't wanna.

Just to say, I'm a yandere/dark-content enjoyer as well, it's just that I draw the line when it comes to aventurine cuz I just wanna cuddle and dote on that man and give him all the love and affection in the world. but like I said, am no hypocrite as well. (sorry if I can't explain it very well but I hope you get the gist of it)

It's just funny and baffling how people are like "eww this person wrote a fic about reader buying slave aventurine so they can be a good owner to him".... this is leaving me speechless how they turned an act with good intentions into something malicious... that poor author doesn't even have bad intentions when writing that fic.

When you apply their logic, it's like saying "this person adopted an abused child so that they can be a good parent to that child, disgusting" do they even realize how stupid they sound??? 😭

#aventurine x reader #I just cannot with this #y'all giving me a headache with this one #funny how they turned a person's good intention into something malicious

[hadeantaiga]

Imma write fiction abt you being raped btw BC it’s just fiction and I’m not doing anything wrong by that

Ok. You’re not doing anything wrong. It’s not even weird - writing graphic fantasies where you hurt someone you hate is extremely normal, actually. It would not offend me, because I wouldn’t even know you’ve done it.

Sending me this Ask is weirder and more "harmful" than writing that story would be. Because you're trying to threaten me here. It's just not working. You are attempting to cause harm.

It would be unethical is if you were to write that story then send it to me with the intention of causing me emotional harm, because now this situation has moved from a private fantasy between you and your anger into something you’re trying to use to hurt me.

It would become illegal, if while you were sharing the story with me, you said “I want to do this to you IRL” - because now you’re threatening me with actual real-life rape. If you then posted that story in public and said “I want to actually rape Taiga IRL” it now becomes a public threat, which is also illegal.

You could also potentially enter into the land of illegal defamation if you publicly claimed that I had in fact done the things you wrote about in the story, because I haven’t done those things. If you present fictional events as fact, that is defamation, and that is illegal too.

So in summary:

Writing a rape fantasy about someone you hate: not illegal, not unethical, very normal human behavior.

Sharing that story with the target of your hate: unethical, because now you’re trying to emotionally hurt that person.

Sharing that story with the target you hate and posing it as a threat: illegal, because threats are illegal.

Posting that fiction in public as a threat of action: again illegal, because you’re publicly threatening someone.

Claiming a person actually did the things in the story: defamation, and  illegal.

This is the other Ask you sent.

I don’t know what “oppressive force that has hundreds of years of killing black people under their belt” means. Do you mean America in general? Do you mean racism in general? Do you mean the patriarchy??? All of those have been responsible for the deaths of black people.

But none of that has anything to do with the fact that a fictional character is a concept, not a person. You cannot hurt a fictional character. And if you write a story about me, that version of me is now a fictional character. That’s not the real me. You can’t hurt me by hurting that character. 

You can only hurt me if you show me a story you know will emotionally upset me, or if you threaten to actually rape me, or if you defame me in public. But those are things you are doing to the real me, not to the fictional version of me you wrote about in your story.

#writing #ethics #fiction #fandom #fanfic

[tbhimnoteasyonmyself]

Who is White?

If it is not I, your friendly neighbourhood non-binary deranged literature major, once again to tell you about stuff that the voices™︎ have prompted me.

This time, let's talk about the elephant in the room, the odd one out: Mr. White, a.k.a the fandom's babyboy.

(me as Fluke in this GIF, walking in ready to dissect this bitch)

So, what do we factually know about this man?

From what we're directly told in the show:

He's Tee's boyfriend, at least, since 12th grade, meaning they have been together for about 3 years, maybe 4 (depending on when exactly we are in terms of time in the present and when exactly during 12th grade they started dating).

He's younger than the rest of them, according to Por and Top in episode 1.

He studied at a different school from the main gang AND from Phee (yes, despite the embroidery having a similar colour, the writings where the institution's name should be are nothing alike, thus, not from the same place)

He cares a lot about his appearance (he does skincare when Por is literally dying downstairs and he sees a rash on his body while under the effect of New's absynthe - idk if it's absynthe or not but my friends and I have been calling it that since we saw them drink the green drinks so it's absynthe for me and there's that).

He's generally a very respectful person (he always speaks formally and nicely to everyone, even when people are hostile to him, like Tee or Fluke).

His fear doesn't seem to paralyze him in high-pressure situations (he strikes people with a tripod twice to save himself and others when he thinks they're in danger).

Another source could be the Yearbook, which, now, we have to be a bit more skeptical about because, as seen in New's case, it's not 100% accurate. One can argue that it is accurate because the yearbook would have Tan's info, since that's who he's living as and no one knows any better than that, including the institutions and, sure, yeah, fair. But while we don't know that White is hiding anything from us as well, we can't be sure of it. So, take the following with a grain of salt:

(translated with Google Translate)

His legal name is Watcharin Siriphan

He was born on the 25th of February 2005 (which confirms what Por and Top say)

His blood type is A (which according to the Blood Type Personality Theory means he is shy, stubborn, a perfectionist, polite and hard-working, apparently. tbh this thing is super shifty, no source seems to agree on the meaning of each type and, of course, it's a pseudoscience and all, so... yeah. take it as you will)

He's studying Software Engineering

He likes cakes

He dislikes cockroaches

He plays games and programs in his free time

So... We don't know much. He's the most generic person ever. Like... I too, and half the world's population, like cake, dislike cockroaches and like to play games. It's not exactly very special. Which is exactly why he is so intriguing. After all, we had 5 whole episodes so far, which were just the backstory of the people we see together in the mansion in the present. We've seen their personalities, their qualities and flaws, what they did and what they didn't do. We've been given a reason as to why they're here. Not just in the more direct sense of "they agreed to come here for Jin's goodbye party" but of why exactly they needed to be put all together in these conditions for this story. All except White. White is just... Barely an afterthought. We're shown when he comes into this story for the group (when he becomes Tee's boyfriend), but we're not given a reason so far as to why the narrative wants him there.

Because, sure, IRL people sometimes end up in random places and things can be pretty meaningless but this is a work of fiction. One that, evidently, has been greatly focused on details (Non's framed apple picture and Phee eating an apple alone, for example, or the correlation between the group and the colour blue). So why would it just throw us a character that is, seemingly, irrelevant to the story?

And to this, there are 2 possibilities my friends: either White is a narrative tool to get to the audience or White is not who we think he is. So let's explore it, shall we?

White = Narrative Tool

Let's start by assuming, possibly the most likely outcome, that White is exactly just a guy who ended up there due to his connection to Tee. Why would this narrative need that character?

Glad you asked. Because he's the only person who's 100% innocent. If he's just some guy who, as we've seen, keeps being respectful and nice and trying to always do the right thing, then he's got nothing to do with the others who, in different degrees are all guilty of something. He's the odd one out.

Because, yes, this is not a show of villains (at least, not in which concerns the main characters). They're all morally grey. But they have some drop of black that makes them grey.

Por is arrogant and a liar and selfish.

Tee is aggressive and manipulative and a control freak.

Top is an overall asshole and a coward.

These 3 actively bully Non. Por steals his work. Tee and Top blame him for shit he didn't do which puts in the situation where he owns Por and they spy on him. Tee manipulates him into mafia money laundry and threatens him.

Fluke is selfish and refuses to take action even when he knows it's the right thing to do.

Jin's doesn't have the capability to realize that the peaceful passive way with which he normally carries himself with won't solve the issue. Plus he's overly emotional. And a bit selfish too.

They didn't help Non when it was their moral obligation to do so. And Jin records him being abused by their teacher and possibly posts it online (though that's still up for debate).

Phee is too stubborn and also overly emotional and even overly empathic.

New is obsessive and vengeful.

Phee never really helps Non because all the ways he offers Non help are the wrong ones. He almost tries to control him. And he fails. And then he tells him awful things and breaks up with him in a terribly vulnerable moment for Non. And even when he regrets it and tries to bring justice to him, he fucks Jin because he wanted to and tries to cover it up as if it was part of the plan. Sure, they were broken up, technically, but Phee himself seems to have had "take-backies" over that breaking up. So, in his mind, at least, it's fair to say he cheats on him, which is very hypocritical after how he reacts to Non being abused. And New... He tries to help sincerely because he feels guilty but he only makes things worse. Nothing is solved and their father curses them both before committing public suicide at their mom's funeral.

Non (which may be even more relevant if he's still alive) is overly independent and uncommunicative.

He doesn't tell Jin he has a boyfriend when it's clear Jin's trying to make a move on him, event though Non's not interested. He hides very important things from Phee. He commits fraud (understandably, but yeah). And yeah, he's justified in his rage and attack but... Does he ever think of how his actions affect other such as Jin, for example, who, in his eyes, is innocent? Not really.

"Oh but White won't die!", I hear you say. "The innocent people never die in slashers!! Only the people who did the killer wrong do!" And that's exactly where I have to disagree.

So, amidst a sea of grey characters, White is, funnily enough: white. He's just good. He's done nothing wrong. And the narrative needs him because, when the others die, we'll feel (to different degrees, sure, but still, we will) that there's a reason. Even if we like the characters, those deaths will make sense. But what happens when an innocent man dies? What happens when you kill the man who wasn't even supposed to be there (he joined the trip at the last minute)?

As @syrena-del-mar says in this post: "DFF is more than just a 90s slasher film imitation". It "sits at a novel intersection of genre: horror slasher on the one hand and BL on the other hand" as @brifrischu puts it here and, for that, it bends expectations and rules and subverts what are natural tropes and events of the slasher archetype. White dying is the sort of thing this narrative, and our inventive genius Sammon, would do. Because... Do you really think they're giving us grey characters instead of black ones because we're supposed not to question this revenge? Because we're supposed to be happy about this? No. Of course not. That would be dumb. If we're meant to 100% side with the killer, then why give us likeable characters as the targets? Because, and this is as much speculation as it is reading the room, we're not.

This story, I don't know how it will end, but regardless I'm pretty confident it's supposed to tell us something important about cycles of violence: that they're neverending until someone chooses peace instead. That aggression and bloodshed and revenge... They won't bring time back, they won't undo the mistakes we make, they won't restore that which is lost, they won't make the grief go away... That they won't make us feel better. More even: that they will only hurt more people, create more injustice and prompt more revenge. And, thus, perpetuate the cycle.

So what's White's role? Being the final drop into our collective cup of realization (and perhaps the characters' as well) that this revenge mission is pointless and won't solve anything. White's role is to die.

"Oh, but uncle Dang was also innocent! Is his death not enough??", I hear you ask. And well... Maybe, maybe not. I think, honestly, his death is too impersonal for us to feel too deeply about it. Like, sure, yes, it is the death of an innocent, but it's a distant innocent. It doesn't make our blood boil because we don't know shit about that man. But, for all we don't know of White's past, we've seen him cry, we've seen him scared, we've seen him fight for his life, we've seen him be a good boyfriend and a good friend. He might just be some dude but we like him. He's the fandom's babyboy, as I said. It is more impactful and it tells the story better.

But this is just a hypothesis. And it might not convince you. And that's fair. So, because I'm a persistent obnoxious fucker with a little too much free time, I'm bringing you a second theory. For this one, though... You might need a little tinfoil hat... Be prepared.

White ≠ Who He Says He Is

So, if you think just having a character be hollow and pure good in a show of very fleshed-out and grey characters is weird, even if he might be narratively relevant, then we can only assume there's something important to White's character we don't know about yet. (I'm adding this in retrospective because I forgot but this idea came to me partially from @yellingaboutkp and their great analysis of horns in the show that you can find here)

But what could that be? We've seemingly seen all the flashbacks we needed from everyone, White doesn't seem very relevant to anyone's storyline but Tee's but... We'd assume if there was something directly connected to Tee's actions and White that we needed to see, we would've. Admittedly, the next episode seems to be on its way to tell us what Tee knows about what happened to Non and Keng while they were captured by the mafia and he could be there but I think, honestly, that it goes deeper than that. And here's why: because there's a person who's even more of an odd one out then White: whoever Perth's character is.

Now, he would've been completely unsuspicious if it wasn't for one thing: Perth's presence in the promotion of this series. He's just... Always there, somehow? Like, his character has only really appeared last episode massaging Tee's uncle but he's constantly talking about this series. Plus, his name is very well credited. AND, the absolute cherry on top, his character appears in THIS poster:

Now, yeah, I understand Marketing and Publicity (it's part of my Master's, you don't have to explain it to me). So, I know this could very well just be a strategy to sell the series. After all, Perth did get a lot of attention after The Hidden Character, I know, I know. It's also a way to put his name out there for other future roles, kinda like a soft launch. Plus, this is the show that killed Us's character first when he was one of the most popular actors in the cast. HOWEVER, I'd argue that, considering the previously mentioned attention to detail, they would not have given one of their rising stars a role in this series if it wasn't important. Like... No other background character without lines (so far) was given an important actor to play it. So pardon me, but I don't buy it. Perth's character's gotta matter somehow. And, back to what I was saying, I think the next episode will be exactly where.

See, I made a poll here on the hellsite asking what y'all think happened to Non. It's this one. And it shows that, overwhelmingly, we all think Non is alive BECAUSE he was helped by the man himself:

"Okay, Dante, but, even if that's true, where does White fit in all this?" Glad. You. Asked.

Now, if we're assuming Perth's character's the one that's gonna help Non (and possibly Keng or maybe not, idk and it really doesn't matter for now), we've gotta assume he's a possible suspect for the murderer. And even more so under this optic that Non is alive. Who more than a person whose whole reality seemed to be the mafia and who might've escaped it would be okay with murdering people? Right? Or, on the contrary, that he took a liking to Non and is trying to prevent him from further digging himself a hole in life and is trying to save him from himself.

You see, I didn't watch The Hidden Character (and those who did apparently recommend it stays that way). I didn't know any of these people before except those who were in Kinnporsche. And you know what that led me to? Curiously enough, dear reader: confusing Fuaiz with Perth. So, yeah, you know where this is going... White and Perth's character might be related. Brothers, probably.

"All because you think they look alike?" Well, if you ignore the way I just explained how it would tie some very loose ends... Yeah, kinda. BUT, in my defence, it makes a lot of genetic sense.

See, no other characters in the show really look this much alike. Believe me, I tested it.

For this purpose, I tried many different sites but the one that seemed to give me the most reliable results was FaceShape. Most characters got no more than 10%, some even got 0% (e.g. New and Perth's Character). And you wanna know how much White and Perth's character got? Nearly 50%.

For comparison reasons, New and Non who are CANONICALLY brothers, got about 30%.

BUT, if this is not convincing enough, my sister and I (who share EXACTLY the same 2 parents) got lower than them.

(pls ignore the picture, I was trynna make it as accurate as possible so I took a front pic with a neutral expression. also, my sister is censored for privacy reasons)

Now... Will I claim this is irrefutable proof? No. Not at all, but think about it: if White and Perth are related that might maybe explain how Tee and White met. It might also explain that really weird scene in the pre-release trailer (albeit all scenes in that are rather odd) where White-

Yes, thank you, Obi-Wan. And Anakin Tee is looking up at him, as if White has more power than Tee does. Because then, it could probably mean that White knows something and is probably there to do something. What exactly? Idk, man. He could be there to ensure the group remains clueless/confused or that they remain where they need to be for things to work... Or he could be there to try and prevent stuff from happening much to the likeness of what I stated for Perth's character's case.

"Oh, but if he knows something, wouldn't he know what happened to Non? Why would he be curious to watch the recording??"

Well, not necessarily. We know Non is not communicative and that he doesn't typically share his problems with anyone (the exception being Keng, obviously, but then again, the exception confirms the rule). And sure, Keng might be more talkative but idk if he would say something if Non asked him not to. I have a feeling he probably wouldn't (since he has that weird thing JJ mentioned about how he "loves Non" and, therefore, even if he's an abuser, he doesn't perceive himself that way and wouldn't do something he actively thinks would hurt Non). So, while Perth's character would know what happened to Non while he was being held by Tee's uncle and even some things about why he is there, he probably wouldn't know the rest.

But then why would he date Tee? Well, this is a narrative so... Foils are something that can happen. Having White and his relationship with Tee be a parallel to that of Phee and Jin is not weird and, in fact, has happened in the very first episode when both couples arrive at the room where the singles are, in pairs. Therefore, it wouldn't be weird to think of White as someone who maybe also fell in love with the guy that was supposed to be a means to an end or, alternatively, and perhaps more interestingly, have White NOT be in love with him and actually succeed, unlike Phee. Thus, drawing the comparison that, while Tee and White are in a relationship, White didn't fall in love and, inversely, while Phee and Jin aren't in a relationship, Phee did fall in love.

And this would mean that all we've seen of White's fear might, in fact, be an act to throw suspicion off of him. Or even more justified because he knows exactly what's lurking in the woods... After all, why would he suddenly join Jin's goodbye party if he's not a friend of Jin's? What reason better than to tag along your boyfriend's getaway with his friends if not to protect him from the terrible consequences of his actions?

But I get it. It's an extremely convoluted theory and, in all honesty, maybe makes the show more dull and boring if it's true because... Why would they repeat this "secret brother" twist? Or the dating with second intentions trope? It could be a narrative parallel, yes, but I can also definitely see how people could point that out as uncreative or lazy writing.

Either way: these thoughts were circling around my head and, before the next episode confirms or destroys them, I wanted to get them out into the world for y'all to, maybe, hopefully, join in on the hype for it, as it's less than 24h 'till it airs. Hope in that I was successful, at the very least.

Anyway... As usual feel free to (politely) argue with me, tell me I'm wrong, tell me I missed this and that, add to it, etc... Because if there's one thing I currently love more than DFF itself, it's definitely the fandom and I want us to make the most of it!!

I'll see y'all tomorrow when we're freaking out about episode 10!!!

All the love! 💜💜💜

#dff #dff the series #dead friend forever #dead friend forever the series #dff theory #dff the series theory #dead friend forever theory #dead friend forever the series theory #dff meta #dead friend forever meta #dead friend forever the series meta #dff the series meta #white dff #white dff the series #white dead friend forever #white dead friend forever the series #dff white #dff the series white #dead friend forever white #dead friend forever the series white #dff spoilers #dead friend forever spoilers #dff the series spoilers #dead friend forever the series spoilers

[mcverse]

✧ Paring: Tsu’tey x Na’vi! F! Reader

✧ Requested: Yes/No

✧ Type: Longfic

✧ Word count: 7.7K

✧ Warnings: Angst, Suppressed feelings, Oblivious reader, insecurities, Slight obvious Tsu’tey at the start, Tsu’tey gaslights just a little bit, Jealous vulnerable Tsu’tey, awkward banter, hurt to comfort I guess?, slow burn

✧ Side Bar: Tsu is so fiiiine. Can you believe I slept on him at first? Crazy, what’s was I thinking?? I ENJOYED THIS SO THANK YOU FOR SENDING IT IN BABE; TOOK 4EVER CUZ ITS LONG — srry im shitty at arguments :( i avoid anything feelings irl

✧ Omnitalk: I know that the Tsahik and the Tsakarem are technically the only healers in the clan, but I just feel like y’know there could be more but they just don’t match that level of greatness. My reasoning: there’s more than one doctor in the world, what if a whole group of warriors got hurt, the Tsahik can’t cater to them all, at least I don’t think so. ANYWAY that concludes my Omnitalk thanks for stopping by

please keep in mind that all characters in my stories are always 18+, and although I can't monitor who reads my work, if you are not 18+ I advise that you do not engage in my page or stories.

Your temper had always been something that you struggled with. Patience wasn't exactly your forte, but you knew how to keep your cool in most situations. You weren't a saint by any means, but it took a lot to push you to the brink of losing control.

Thankfully, you had Eywa to turn to when things got tough. She provided a sense of guidance that helped you stay calm in moments when it would have been easy to let your anger get the best of you. Without her, you knew you would have snapped at him long ago.

Tsu’tey.

His reputation preceded him wherever he went. A true embodiment of the warrior spirit, he exuded strength and bravery with every step he took. During the battle against the sky people, his ferocity in both defense and protection of your people and land was unparalleled. He possessed razor-sharp reflexes and a keen mind, which made him merciless in battle—traits that marked him as a natural-born leader, fit for the title of the Olo'eyktan.

And yet, it seemed that you only experienced the negative aspects of his character. The origins of your rocky relationship with the current Olo'eyktan were fuzzy, but it felt as though your paths crossed every day.

As one of the best healers in the village, it's already challenging enough to do your job with how reckless the warriors were, but with him lurking around was considerable worst. While you respect him and assume the feeling is mutual, tension always seems to arise between the two of you.

You couldn't help but wonder why Tsu'tey always had to be around when warriors were injured. You were more than capable of handling the job on your own—after all, you had been trained by your mother and had been practicing as a healer for as long as you could remember. You could tend to the wounded with your eyes closed.

But for some reason, Tsu'tey always seemed to show up when warriors were injured on his watch, which happened more often than it should. It was confusing because these were skilled warriors who should not have been injured so frequently. You’d think he’d match your concern but Tsu’tey appears unfazed. In fact, he seems content to stand there and watch you work.

That didn’t change the fact that you hated to endure it. Every time Tsu’tey appeared, the air around you seemed to shift, and you could feel his penetrating gaze fixed on you as he stood over your shoulder. Even though you knew iit was possible he was here to ensure you didn't make a mistake, you had never slipped up in your tending to the Na’vi.

You longed for him to give you some space and allow you to breathe. A day without his stupidly handsome face, always twisted into a scowl, would be a blessing. It was suffocating to have him lurking around, making you feel uneasy as you work. Instead of letting it affect your tending to the Na'vi, you let harsh words slithers out of your mouth. They were words that no one would dare to direct to the Olo'eyktan, but they weren’t you.

"Do you not have responsibilities to attend to as Olo’eyktan, Tsu'tey?” you break the silence, keeping your hands steady on the Na'vi in front of you, despite your desire to turn and push Tsu’tey out of your healers hut.

He nods, shifting his gaze from your hands to the side of your face, "Yes. One of my duties is to ensure proper care for our people," he replies matter-of-factly.

You click your tongue, silently apologizing to the Na'vi when you realize you have grazed his wound too harshly. Then you turn your attention back to Tsu'tey, "You keep saying that, but do you not think I am capable of caring for them alone?" you ask, peering at him and study him.

His expression doesn’t change from the scowl but you knew your words had affected him. Over time, he had become easier to read, his emotions slowly surfacing through subtle gestures and expressions. You noticed the way he gulped slowly, his ears flicking downward, and his tail switching off to the opposite side.

Looking up seconds later, your eyes met and you pause, catching a knowing gleam in his gaze that no one else seemed to have noticed but you. Perhaps you had been paying too much attention to him, a realization that he had definitely overstayed his welcome.

A small smile played at the corner of your lips as he responded, already anticipating the snarky comment that would leave his mouth. Despite finding him annoying and wanting him to be around less often, you couldn't deny that there was a certain charm to the unpleasant side of him that showed a few pleasantries you didn't mind all too much.

“You might be a healer now but you’re the same reckless girl from your upbringing.” Tsu’tey averts his eyes to the silent Na’vi, “Can’t even be gentle when it’s needed. Maybe you would be better off among the warriors.” He tilts his head towards you, wearing a barely noticeable smug expression.

You sigh deeply to cover up the slip up on your demeanor and dismissed the Na'vi by patting him on the shoulder, "In three days, come back so I can change it," you instructed him as he nods and left the hut.

After staring at he same space the wounded Na’vi was in, you turned completely to Tsu’tey, who was already looking at you with a concentrated look. He straightens his posture, puff out his chest, and crosses his arms when he notice you looking at him.

“Unless you have more wounded warriors hiding somewhere, I’m kinda busy.” You gesture to the many supplies that you had to clean up, “It’ll be reckless of me to leave it around and cause another accident.” You mock his earlier statement, slightly ticked off that he brought it up in the first place.

Tsu'tey let out a disgruntled humph, his eyes momentarily leaving yours and wandering over your body. You couldn't help but feel self-conscious under his gaze, but as he took in every freckle and pattern, every smooth surface his eyes could reach, you also felt a flutter in your stomach. His gaze flickered hastily back up to yours, and he uncrossed his arms, silently giving you an affirmative nod before turning to leave the hut.

〰〰〰〰〰〰

After that odd encounter, it seemed as if a switch had been flipped in Tsu'tey's demeanor. The once stoic and tense warrior still came to your healer's hut, but now the exchanges between the two of you were different. The words that were once laced with venom and hostility now held a playful tone, something that was unexpected from the serious Na'vi.

In no way were you complaining, it beat his normal uprightness but it was a bit perplexing. Why had Tsu’tey suddenly become so much more relaxed and friendly around you? It made you question his motive, though you knew if he really had one, he’d mostly likely be upfront about it.

That doesn’t mean it still made any sense. You observed that he never acted in such a manner with any other warriors, and you weren’t the only one to notice. The warriors in the same hunting group as him, the same ones who get injured come in and feel uncomfortable yet curious at the different Tsu’tey.

The next time you see him, it was mid-morning when he entered the hut, following one of his men like usual. As soon as he caught sight of you, his ears perked up at the brief smile you sent his way. You quickly averted your gaze to focus on the injured Na’vi in front of you. You let out a sigh of annoyance as you saw it was Kenuk, who had been in your care four times this week, with injuries that hadn't even healed yet.

“Kenuk, how many times do I have to tell you to be careful!?” You scold him as he took his usual seat in the center of the room, Tsu’tey staying off to the side. You turned away from them both to grab some supplies before hurrying back to Kenuk to examine his wound. You couldn’t stop the frown from forming on your face when you saw the large scrape on his side. Though it wasn't deep, the size of the wound was concerning.

You reached for a wet cloth and began to softly clean his wound, but apparently, it was not soft enough, as a groan escaped Kenuk’s lips, followed by a chuckle, “More than I'd like,” he answers truthfully, looking down at you as you worked, “You're not exactly gentle.”

Tsu’tey grunts beside you, “What I say.”, clearly referencing the comment he made two weeks ago. Despite not looking at him, you could feel the smug expression he always wore, and it annoyed you to no end. Both he and Kenuk were getting on your nerves with their accusations of you being rough and insensitive. You knew you were capable of being gentle; you were gentle. Maybe Kenuk was just being overly sensitive. Perhaps he needed to toughen up.

“Prrnen, you’re soft just like one. Sensitive too,” you retorted, deliberately applying a bit more pressure to Kenuk’s wound to make your point. You smiled as he winced and shot you a warning glare. Ignoring him, you set aside the damp cloth and reached for the healing ointment, the one you knew would make him whimper like a baby.

Tsu'tey notices this, drawing in his attention as he raises a brow at your choice. He's not a healer, but he's had his fair share of injuries and he knows that the ointment in your hands stings the most. He was accustomed to the stinging sensation it caused, but not everyone had his high tolerance. Did that comment get to you that much?

Just as you both thought, Kenuk pulls away from you in seconds, trying to get away from your touch. "Shit!" he curses, about to get up when a firm hand grabs his shoulder and forces him to sit back down. It belongs to Tsu'tey, no surprise given he's the only other person in the hut. But it's surprising that he's helping.

"She can't do her job if you move too much." There's a moment of tension between the two Na'vi as they lock eyes, almost as if they were having a silent conversation. Eventually, Kenuk concedes, muttering a begrudging "fine" and shifting his body to give you better access to his wound.

You glance over at Tsu’tey, his tall and imposing figure commanding attention even in the dimly lit hut. "Thank you... Ma Tsu’tey," you say, the words feeling foreign on your tongue. You've shown gratitude to others before, but never directed towards him. You and Tsu’tey have never been nice to each other, at least not until a few weeks ago.

You went back to focus on treating Kenuk's wound, you find your eyes wandering over to Tsu’tey's muscular frame. It's not a habit of yours to be distracted by someone's physique, but there was something about him that drew your attention. You force yourself to look away and focus on the task at hand. "How are you the most wounded warrior in the village, hm?" you ask, trying to distract yourself from your thoughts. "Your health is important, skxawng.

As soon as you ask the question, you expect an immediate response, but instead, an uncomfortable silence lingers, causing you to pause and study his face. His expression is devoid of his usual goofiness, which only increases your concern.

“I asked a question," you convey, brows furrowed in confusion.

He clears his throat and looks away, avoiding your gaze. "The Chief," he murmurs finally. The second the name spills from him, you snap your head at the man in question.

Tsu’tey tenses up under your watchful gaze, feeling a flush of heat and clamminess rise within him. He wants to look away, to avoid the intensity of your stare, but he can't bring himself to do it. It’ll make him look weak, he couldn't afford to look weak, not in front of you. And for some inexplicable reason, he actually craves your attention at the same time, whether under good reason for bad.

“You did this?” You can't believe what you're hearing. The thought that Tsu'tey was responsible for Kenuk's injuries never crossed your mind. On the one hand, it seems improbable that he would do something so reckless, but on the other hand, it fits with the abrasive and confrontational persona that you've come to associate with him.

Tsu’tey lets out a huff of frustration and crosses his arms tightly across his chest, his body language tense and defensive. “They need to learn,” he grumbles, his lips pursed as he takes a moment to consider his words, “If they can’t win against me, how can they survive out there?”

As you process his words, you realize with a sinking feeling that the "they" he's referring to are all the injured warriors who have stumbled into your hut over the past few days. Did Tsu’tey injure all of them? The thought is both impressive and upsetting, and you can't quite decide how to feel about it.

“I didn’t expect that of you,” you say, looking away and continuing to treat Kenuk. You drop the ointment in favor of picking up the leaf wrapping, “Do not worry, Kenuk. You are in great hands. I’ll take care of you anytime.” You give his upper arm a strong squeeze when you finish wrapping.

Unbeknownst to you, Tsu'tey's eyes lingered on the spot where your hand had rested on Kenuk's arm. He knows that this is your duty, one he saw you do plenty of times but that touch felt more intimate than he liked. Though he couldn’t figure out why he didn’t like it, he just felt extremely uncomfortable and irritable having to witness it.

As you exchange words of farewell with Kenuk and turn to put away your supplies, Tsu'tey lingers behind, thoughts swirl with confusion. He can't shake the feeling of unease that has settled over him. He has never felt this way, he never had to. He was confident in everything—teaching, hunting, and battle but this.. this felt different and he doesn't know how to process it. He glance at you one last time before silently exiting your hut too.

You turn back around to get more intel on the injured warriors who come to see you often, but Tsu'tey is not there like he usually is. You wonder where he could have gone, but quickly push the thought out of your mind as you greet another Na’vi walking in.

〰〰〰〰〰〰

Initially, becoming a healer wasn't your dream. Your mother, may she rest in peace, was determined to pass on the family tradition to you. The lessons on herbs and their medicinal uses felt tedious and unexciting to you. You longed to roam beyond the boundaries set by for you, to hunt like the mighty warriors you idolized and fly on the backs of Ikran without a watchful eye.

Perhaps this is why you sometimes struggle to find the gentle touch and calmness required of a healer. But Eywa, the guiding spirit of Pandora', had other plans for you. Even before your birth, she had chosen you for this path. To test your abilities, she presented you with a challenge—a friend in need, requiring your knowledge and care.

Through this test, Eywa showed you your true calling. Despite your initial reluctance, you rose to the challenge and used your skills to help your friend. And from that moment, you knew that you were destined to become a great healer, chosen by the spirit herself.

So you wondered why you she was testing you again. You had already proven your worth as a healer in the village. So why were fewer and fewer warriors seeking your assistance? Had you not fulfilled your duty correctly?

These thoughts plagued your mind as you sat in your hut, surrounded by jars of herbs and vials of medicines. You couldn't help but feel a twinge of self-doubt, wondering if perhaps you had lost your touch.

But it wasn’t adding up the more you thought it over.

You knew that every warrior who came to your hut left with the progress of being healed. You took pride in your work and tried to be as friendly as possible, never having a real disagreement with anyone. So what was the reason to your sudden decline in business? You shake your head, trying to dispel the doubts that had been creeping in. Sitting around in this hut waiting wasn’t going to help you find out faster.

Leaving your hut, you greeted the Na'vi as you walked through the village, heading towards the only place where your business thrived: the training ground. When you arrived, the training wasn't yet finished, so you stood off to the side with a few warriors who were taking a break. You were content to wait, watching as Tsu'tey led the training. This is the first time in a few days since you’ve seen him, admittedly you miss him and the aura he was giving off in the field only fueled that.

In that moment, watching Tsu'tey command the training grounds, you couldn't help but feel drawn to him in a way you never had before. The way he moved, the strength in his stance, the confidence in his voice... it was all so attractive.

You were conflicted because you knew that, in the past, you had found his demeanor aggravating and even off-putting. But here he was, exuding qualities that made your heart race and your stomach flutter. It was unnerving to feel this way, especially towards someone who had never shown you any interest or affection.

You were sure that your slow growing feelings for Tsu’tey were just a momentary lapse in judgment. After all, he was the Olo'eyktan and had important responsibilities to fulfill, which you could never be a part of.

You tried to convince yourself that your attraction to him was just a silly crush that would soon fade away, especially since it was entirely one-sided. It was a well-known fact that Tsu’tey still grieves over his previous love, and you didn't want to add to his emotional burden.

Letting out a deep sigh, you turn and spot a familiar face in the group of Na'vi. It was Kenuk, you must have missed him when you first arrived, as he was standing between two other Na'vi. A smile spreads across your face as you walk over to greet him and the others.

After exchanging pleasantries, you turn to Kenuk, "Mind if we talk?"

He looks at the other two Na'vi beside him before nodding and following you a few feet away, out of earshot. Taking a deep breath, you get straight to the point, "Why haven’t any of our people come to see me lately, do you know the reason?”

Kenuk groans and his ears pull back, anticipating the inevitable conflict. It was no secret that he frequently visited your healer's hut with the future leader of the clan, so he knew he would be caught in the middle of your mess at some point. The problem was that he didn't know what to do. Both Na'vi involved were senior to him, and whatever he said would betray one, if not the other. The weight of his dilemma was evident in his downturned expression and hesitant words.

“…I don’t know.”

Your eyes narrow as you look at Kenuk, his guilty face betraying him. He knows more than he's letting on. You don't tolerate liars and Kenuk's demeanor only confirms your suspicions.

"Are you lying to me, Kenuk?" you ask, your tone firm and unwavering.

Kenuk frowns, his ears twitching at your disappointment, “We were told not to. Uh, not exactly not to but," he trails off, struggling to explain the situation. You wait, your impatience growing by the second. Finally, he blurts out, "The Chief has been saying things."

This information catches you off guard. Why does Tsu'tey have anything to do with this? That doesn't make sense. Weren't you both just getting along? To sabotage your living... that's unforgivable. But you don't want to jump to conclusions; there has to be more.

You're hesitant to ask; this might break your calm streak. You can already feel your body heating up at the possibilities, "What kind of things?"

Kenuk shifts uneasily on his feet, looking as though he'd rather be anywhere else but here. You can practically feel the tension radiating off of him as he reluctantly begins to speak, "There have been some male Na'vi asking about you, I don’t know why. But Chief Tsu'tey," he starts, his eyes darting away from you, "He told them that you're too rough. You're the opposite of gentle, too strong."

A snarl rises up in your throat. It's always about that, isn't it? Why should a healer have to be gentle? You're proud of your strength and resilience, but it seems like others see it as a flaw. You're about to speak up when Kenuk continues, his words making your blood boil even hotter.

"And you're too strong-headed like a flathead ram and have a loose tongue. You act impulsively and fearlessly, without regard for the consequences,” he gulps, looking you in the eyes, “He says you're dangerous and should be avoided. That you'll do more harm than good, opposite of a healer.”

Your vision blurs as your anger finally boils over. You know exactly what he's getting at, bringing up that damn conversation again. The conversation that you thought bad changed everything between you two.

But he was still the same arrogant jerk, and now you were starting to regret your newly developed feelings for him. He didn't deserve that, not with the way he was acting. Who did he think he was?

The fury inside you is building with each step you take towards the training ground. Eywa may have been able to calm you in the past, but this time you're beyond her reach. The storm that is forming inside your head is one that even Eywa can't control. That man, that future Olo'eyktan, he's gone too far this time. His words about you being too strong, too strong-headed, and loose tongued have crossed a line.

As you approach the training ground, you notice that the session has ended and Tsu'tey, alone, was putting away the weapons. Your feet pound against the ground, announcing your presence before you even reach him. Tsu'tey looks up at you with a raised eyebrow, his expression curious but wary.

You stop just a foot away from him and your nostrils flare as you stare him down. You might look incredibly intimidating to you, but to him, you look like a pouty toddler.

"What is your problem?" you spit out the words, your anger palpable. The intensity of your gaze could have burned a hole through him.

Tsu'tey's focus shifts entirely to you, abandoning the weapons he was putting away. He narrows his eyes, “Whats going on?” He was confused by the urgency in your approach, as you seemed to be babbling without actually getting to the point.

"You have a lot of nerve, telling these things about me." you exclaim, your voice trembling staring at the source of your rage, “I expect better of the future clan leader!” Your hands were balled into fists at your sides, your heart pounding wildly in your chest, matching the way you were feeling.

Tsu’tey takes a moment to process your words, his eyes studying you intently. His brilliant mind races against an invisible clock, trying to formulate a solution to the problem he has caused. He didn't think you would find out about his lies, or perhaps he was in denial and not thinking rationally when he spread them.

As he stands before you, he considers apologizing for his mistake. He didn't mean to upset you, and it was never his intention to cause you pain. However, as he looks into your eyes, he remembers how the other warriors asked about you, and the brief moment he shared with Kenuk that he tried to forget.

He came to realize apologizing wasn't an option for him, despite the guilt weighing heavily on his mind. He couldn't bring himself to utter the words because he didn't feel genuine remorse for all of his actions. While he regretted that you had suffered the consequences of his lies, he couldn't bring himself to feel sorry for sabotaging the potential suitors who had shown interest in you. In his eyes, they weren't worthy of you and he couldn't bear the thought of you ending up with someone who didn't deserve your love.

He knew he was being selfish, but he couldn't help the overwhelming new feeling of possessiveness he had over you. Every time he saw someone else try to get close to you, it made his blood boil with jealousy. He knew he couldn't have you for himself, but he couldn't bear the thought of anyone else having you either. So, he used his influence to spread rumors and lies to scare off anyone who tried to pursue you.

Deep down, he knew it was wrong and he hated himself for it, but he came to really enjoy your company and he can’t continue that if you were mated. So, even though he knew he owed you an apology for his behavior, he couldn't bring himself to do it, not without admitting to himself that he was wrong in wanting you all to himself.

Despite the storm of emotions brewing inside him, Tsu’tey chooses to hide them behind a mask of indifference, "They were the truth," he says, though he immediately regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth. He knows he should be honest with you, to tell you how he truly feels, but he can't bring himself to do it. "I have a duty," he continues, trying to justify his actions, "I simply directed them to someone better." His feelings for you has grown slowly and unexpectedly, yet he can't bring himself to confess his true feelings to you.

You were taken aback by his words. They hit you like a punch in the gut, leaving you feeling winded and vulnerable. Your mind races, trying to make sense of what he's saying, but his words are like a jumbled mess in your head.

“How could you say that?” Your voice is barely a whisper as you go silent, the realization hitting you hard. This had to be linked to your past somehow. You look back up, your eyes filling with hurt and confusion, “That’s not me anymore. I’m not that reckless girl anymore. I’m capable, just like every healer here.” You try to reason, try to get him to see that you have changed, that you're not the same person he once knew. You thought he saw that you did.

Tsu’tey's face hardens, his eyes flashing with a mix of frustration and resentment, “I did what is best for our people.” Another lie, yet he still couldn't stop.

You feel betrayed as the conversation goes on, your anger rising just as quickly as it came to you in a moment of vulnerability, “What about me?! Did you not even consider what that means for me?” You feel hysterical, like you are imagining all this. You had to be.

Tsu’tey's jaw clenches, straightening his posture as he tilts his head tauntingly at you, “What about you? It’s very selfish of you to not consider your people.” He smacks his tongue on his teeth, “You are everything I said and possibly more. I did what I had to do. If you don’t like it, you’ll have to learn to live with it.”

That was it.

That was your 13th reason last straw.

“I hate you,” You confess coldly, looking him dead in the eyes, “and you're the one causing trouble, Tsu’tey, not me” You turn away slightly, a scowl that could rival his play on your lips and your eyes scanning him in disgust, “You may be the Olo'eyktan, but you don’t deserve it.. nor my respect.” You leave after those words, wanting to get as far away from him as possible, before he breaks your heart even more.

〰〰〰〰〰〰

It has been two long, torturous weeks since the bitter argument that left you feeling raw and vulnerable. The memory of Tsu’tey's harsh words still stings like an open wound, and you find yourself unable to shake off the anger and hurt that consumes you. You refuse to be anywhere near him, knowing that the mere sight of him would trigger a fresh wave of emotions that you are not ready to face.

Despite knowing how ridiculous it is to completely avoid someone in a community as small as yours, you can't bring yourself to do anything else. You spend most of your time cooped up in your healer's hut, only venturing out occasionally to hunt for herbs or attend to few non warrior patients. The thought of bumping into Tsu’tey fills you with dread and you do everything in your power to stay away from him.

You avoid the training ground like a plague, knowing that Tsu’tey is often there, leading the warriors through their daily drills. You know that as a healer, it's your duty to attend to the warriors' injuries and ailments, but you deny yourself that luxury. You can't bear the thought of being in the same space as him, even for a few moments.

But then, Tsu’tey and a small group of warriors leave on a hunting trip, and it feels like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders. You can finally breathe again, without the constant fear of running into him. You know it's not a permanent solution, but for now, it's enough. In his absence, you find peace, and you try to focus on your work, hoping that time will heal the wounds that Tsu’tey has left behind.

Within his absence, you discovered yourself being drawn outside more and more often, collecting an assortment of herbs for your medicinal balm while soaking up the natural beauty that surrounded you.

In moments of pure stillness, your mind would occasionally wander back to the conversation with Tsu’tey, but in the midst of this tranquil setting, it all seemed insignificant. It was as if Eywa was leading you towards a celestial epiphany, prompting you to recall the things you had forgotten and encouraging you to generate and safeguard something entirely novel.

Even now with you were so lost in the beauty of the forest, eyes closed and queue connected, that you were completely oblivious to the sound of footsteps approaching from behind. It wasn't until a hand gently touched your shoulder that you jolted in surprise, quickly un-sheathing your weapon and whirling around to confront the intruder.

You raise your brows in shock before quickly lowering your weapon as you recognize Raa'te, one of the warriors who had stayed behind while the others were on the hunting trip. Despite Tsu'tey's words, he has been one of the few warriors who haven't stopped coming to your hut, and you were grateful for his company.

Over the past few weeks, The two of you have been spending more time together lately, and you've come to appreciate his kind and gentle nature. He was a rare and refreshing presence in your life..

"Raa'te, you scared me," you say with a chuckle, shielding your weapon and felt a sense of relief that it's him and not someone else.

He grins mischievously, his hands still raised in a peaceful gesture, "I mean no harm, I promise. I just wanted to see if you wanted to come with me to see the return of the hunting party. The horn has sounded, and they should be back any minute now." He lowers his hands, peering down at you softly.

You hesitate for a moment, not wanting to be anywhere near Tsu’tey, but the hopeful expression Raa'te was throwing at you is too much to resist. Signing, you nod your head, "Okay, let's go," you mumble, grabbing your bag of herbs and going towards the village together.

On the way back to the village with Raa’te, the two of you engage in light conversation. He seems genuinely interested in getting to know more about you, and you find yourself opening up to him more and more. It's a refreshing change from the other warriors who often just talk about themselves.

Raa’te even takes the initiative to carry your bag for you, a small act of kindness that doesn't go unnoticed. As you approach the village, you can hear the sound of cheers and excitement in the distance. The hunting party must be returned.

At the front of the hunting party, Tsu'tey stood with his chest puffed out, basking in the cheers and adoration of his people. You couldn't help but feel a pang of disgust in your stomach at his display of arrogance.

It’s frustrating how someone can evoke such strong emotions in you, both positive and negative. You shake your head, trying to push those thoughts away, but your attention is drawn back to him, much to your annoyance. After all he's done, there were plenty of others in the tribe with better potential.

Raa’te was full of surprises today. He leans in close to your ear and whispers, "I could have gone on the hunt, you know?" You turn to him with a curious expression, wondering why he didn't. He smiles at you, thinking you look adorable and then blurts out what's been on his mind lately, "because I'm more interested in you right now."

You felt your cheeks heat up at his boldness, looking down to avoid his gaze. Despite the butterflies fluttering in your stomach, you appreciated his honesty.

You couldn't deny that Raa'te's presence had a certain charm to it, and you found yourself drawn to him in ways that surprised you. His kindness and genuine interest in you were a welcome change from the tension and uncertainty that seemed to permeate every interaction you had with Tsu'tey.

"You're courting me?" The question slips from your lips before you can stop yourself, surprised and a little embarrassed that you hadn't noticed until now. How could you have missed the signs? Raa'te had always been there for you, lending a helping hand and offering thoughtful little gifts that always brought a smile to your face.

Raa'te chuckles at your question, his gaze curious as he looks at you, "You haven't noticed?"

You shake your head, feeling a little ashamed that you hadn't seen his intentions before. "I've been busy with other things," you murmur, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. But the truth was, you had been so wrapped up in Tsu'tey that you hadn't even considered the possibility of being with someone else.

"Like the Chief?" Raa'te asks knowingly, and you can feel the heat rising to your cheeks more at the mention of Tsu'tey's name.

You snap your head up, your eyes wide with surprise, "How did you—"

"The whole village knows," Raa'te interrupts, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

You let out a frustrated groan, dropping your head in embarrassment at the news. It was mortifying, but in hindsight, not entirely unexpected. Anything related to the Chief had a way of spreading like wildfire in the village, so it was only a matter of time before rumors started to circulate. You just didn't think it would happen so quickly.

"I'm sorry, Raa'te. I didn't mean to lead you on," you say, looking back up at him with a heavy sense of guilt. He had been putting in effort, and you hadn't reciprocated at all.

He gives a nonchalant shrug, "It's okay. I just thought I might have a better chance if he was out of the picture. Guess that's not happening," he says, gesturing behind you.

You turn around to see what he's looking at, and your eyes meet Tsu'tey's. The Chief is staring at you with an unreadable expression, and for a moment, you feel a rush of panic. You quickly turn back to Raa'te, hoping that Tsu'tey didn't hear your conversation.

Despite not hearing the conversation, Tsu’tey’s sharp mind allowed him to discern the situation to a certain extent. He had learned from his group of warriors that Raa’te had chosen to remain behind to court you properly, which only stirred up feelings of anger within him. He knew he had no right to feel jealous or resentful towards Raa’te, especially after the way he had mistreated you. He understood that he was no more deserving of you than anyone else in the clan.

Even with this knowledge, Tsu’tey couldn’t shake the terrible feeling he had inside. After the first week of avoiding him, he had plenty of time to reflect on his mistakes and realized that he had made a grave error.

The fact that you were avoiding him hurt him deeply, even though he knew it was justified. However, a nagging voice in his head convinced him that if you were doing it on purpose, he should do the same. He knew it didn’t make sense, but he couldn’t help but feel terrible and foolish for giving in to that temptation.

As he watched you walk away with Raa’te, it felt like you were taking his heart with you. He couldn't believe that he had caused this outcome upon his return. It was cruel, and he knew he deserved it, but at the same time, he didn't feel like he should have to endure it. All he had to do was apologize, but he wondered if it was enough for you to forgive him.

He truly hoped so because the thought of seeing you with someone else was going to drive him up a tree. He regretted not telling you how he truly felt and why he acted the way he did. The fact that he couldn't handle his emotions like he would with an Ikran made him even more frustrated.

As night falls, Tsu’tey finds himself determined to confront the confusing and unsettling situation between him and you. With a sense of unease gnawing at his gut, he makes his way to your home, hoping to get some clarity and put an end to whatever this was.

However, his heart sinks when he finds your hut empty, and he can't help but let his mind wander into dark thoughts and "what ifs." In a last-ditch attempt, he decides to check the healer's hut, where he heaves a sigh of relief at the sight of you shuffling around your medicine.

As the drape of your hut flutters, you stop your work and look towards the entrance, hoping it's someone who won't disrupt your peace. Unfortunately, it's Tsu'tey, his ears flat back and a scowl etched on his face. You immediately regret looking up as you feel a rush of tension in the air.

The expression on his face is still hostile, but there's a hint of vulnerability that you've never seen before. You both stand there in silence, neither of you uttering a word. The atmosphere is so thick you can practically cut it with a knife.

His voice, low yet firm, echoes inside your little hut, "I'm sorry."

Did the Olo'eyktan—no, did Tsu’tey just say "I'm sorry" to you? You wonder if you're starting to hallucinate after seeing him return. You can't remember him ever apologizing before, at least not without a fight.

"Great Mother," you mutter in disbelief, your eyes widening. You struggle to process his words, wondering if this is truly the same Tsu'tey you know. "Who are you and what have you done with our Chief?" you ask, half-jokingly. This behavior is unlike him, leaving you uncertain.

His glare brings you back to reality, silently conveying the seriousness of his words. You take a moment to gather yourself, realizing that this apology is genuine and you must respond accordingly.

“I acknowledge the strength it took for you to admit that you were wrong. Thank you,” you say, your brows furrowing as you glance off to the side. It wasn't exactly what you wanted to say, but you had been mulling over the situation for weeks and decided that being the bigger person was the best course of action.

Tsu'tey notices your hesitation immediately and steps further into the hut, basking in the dim glow of the a flickering flame. Your eyes drift back to him unconsciously, taking in his handsome features - his high cheekbones and chiseled jaw - and you find yourself falling for him all over again.

"But?" he prompts, sensing that there is more to your statement than you are letting on.

You pause, chewing on the inside of your cheek as your eyes flicker between his, which seem more honest and vulnerable than you've ever seen them. What were you going to say? How could you say it? Should you say it?

"Just say it," he urges, his scowl growing deeper. He was growing impatient in a situation that deserved patience. He knew this, but he also knew he didn't want to wait any longer. "Speak your mind freely."

"I thought you said I was too loose-tongued," you state a little too harshly, as the wound was only two weeks old.

Tsu'tey purses his lips, answering without hesitation, "You do. You're not afraid to state your opinion to our people or your Olo'eyktan," he glances downwards at the ground. "I respect it."

You tilt your head in confusion at his statement. Wasn't he the same person who spread rumors about you and drove away your business? It's flattering that he thinks you're not afraid to speak your mind, but it doesn't change the fact that his actions caused you harm.

Curious, you test the waters, "What about me being stubborn?" His eyes flicker up to meet yours and his lips twitch in response,

"You are. You've been avoiding me since the fight. I'll say that's stubborn enough," he admits.

You pout and cross your arms defensively, "With reason!" you retort. After a moment of hesitation, you ask, "What about me not being gentle? You have everyone thinking I'm some woman who knows nothing but toughness."

Finally, a playful smirk spreads across his face, his eyes lighting up. What happened to the Tsu’tey who wanted to take this serious? "That's also true. I meant it when I said you're better off as a warrior... but you're great as a healer too."

There was a heavy moment of silence as you processed his words, your body feeling hot under his intense gaze, but you didn’t look away. You were debating on what to do next, whether to take his words to heart, or forgive him. He sounded sincere enough, but was it enough?

“Why…Why hurt me?” You finally mutter, the question that’s been weighing on your mind for weeks. It was the one that you desperately didn’t want to share, the one that would show so much vulnerability that you didn’t know if you wanted to give that to him yet.

But Tsu'tey understood the weight of your question, his smirk fading as he grew serious. serious. A few seconds passed before he sighed heavily through his nostrils, “I wasn’t myself.” He confess, continuing as he caught your look of confusion, “My pride and foolish jealousy blinded me. I failed to see that my actions were hurting you, and that was the last thing I wanted.”

You do a double take as he continues speaking, his vulnerability at its highest peak, “I was a skxqwng for letting myself become clouded with such feelings but I didn’t know how to deal with them.”

“What are you trying to say, Tsu’tey?” You ask, holding your breath as his expression grows softer by the second. It's a side of him you've never seen before, and you don't think anyone else has either. But it has your heart threatening to jump out of your chest and your stomach doing silly flips.

“I’m saying… Oel ngati kameie, [Name].” He walks closer, stopping in front of you. He raises his hand to your cheek, which you lean into as you stare at him in disbelief. All the anger you felt has vaporized like it was never there because all you can see is Tsu’tey looking at you like your the most treasured thing in the world, “If you’ll have me, I will make my wrongs right.”

You take a deep breath and close your eyes for a moment, trying to ground yourself. It feels like a dream, but the warmth of Tsu’tey’s touch on your face is real. You open your eyes again, looking up at him, “Oel ngati kameie, Tsu’tey.” You whisper breathlessly, feeling the weight of the moment.

Tsu’tey’s eyes light up at your words, a wide smile spreading across his face as he brings his other hand up to cup your cheek. He looks at you so happily that the sun would be envious of his light. You realize that you really like this version of Tsu'tey and want to see more of it.

He looks down at your lips, and you can feel your own breath hitching in your throat, “Can I kiss you, Yawne?” He mumble, looking back back in your eyes.

You don’t even need to think about it – the answer is a resounding yes. You want to feel his lips on yours, to hold him closer, to lose yourself in the moment.

Without answering, you grab him by the shoulders and pull him towards you, pressing your lips to his in a fervent, passionate kiss. The space between you feels too great, and you crave the feeling of his body against yours.

It was in this moment that you realized how thankful you were for all the ups and downs that had led you here. The moments where you had lost your cool, the times when you had been too stubborn to see the truth, and the moments of sheer frustration had all been worth it. Without them, you wouldn't be here, in Tsu'tey's arms, feeling like you had finally found your home.

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#✮⋆˙ 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 — 𝐭𝐬𝐮’𝐭𝐞𝐲 #tsu’tey x you #tsu’tey imagine #tsu’tey avatar #tsu’tey x reader #avatar tsu'tey #tsu'tey te rongloa ateyitan #tsu’tey #tsu’tey fluff #tsu’tey angst #avatar angst #tsu'tey x y/n #avatar way of water #avatar #tsutey #tsutey x reader #tsu’tey headcanon #avatar jake #tsu’tey te rangloa ateyitan #tsu'tey avatar #avatar x reader #avatar headcanons

[verana115]

PSA: most trans people on hormones don’t pass after a year. I think the prevalence of “passing at 11 months!!!” type stories has given a lot of people the impression that somewhere around there is when people start to look like what they want. And like yeah, some people do, and fucking great for them, but you don’t see nearly as many people talking about how they don’t pass at that point because a) people share those things online less often and b) those posts get less traction because they’re heavier

Me? I passed for the first time at 7 months. I passed for the second time at 19 months. That fucking sucked. I felt like I had been given exactly what I wanted and watched it get taken away from me, and the idea that I should be passing more regularly in the months following really ate away at me and made me feel like I “failed” in my transition - I legit thought that I would never pass

It certainly didn’t help that, in addition to overwhelmingly seeing narratives online of passing early in one’s transition, every piece of medical information that was presented to me said that most changes would happen over the first two years. Maybe I was deluding myself, but baby trans me thought “oh that means I have two years to transition or else I fail because hormones won’t do anything past that”. And that ate away at me more than the not passing, cause I felt like I was “missing my chance” at having the body I wanted

And boy was I wrong, in the last year (my third year on hormones), I feel like I’ve seen more changes than I saw in my first year. My boobs are filling themselves out, my body hair is getting even lighter, my skin is noticeably softer even though I stopped moisturizing/doing most of my previous skincare routine. Hell, even my hips and ass have gotten wider. And this was *all* during an era that the medical information I was presented with gave me the impression that any changes that did occur would be minor

To show you what I mean, compare one of my first trans-flag photos, taken at 11 months on e, verses a semi-recreation I did earlier today at 33 months on e (same clothes and roughly the same pose/lighting, different mountains)

Notice a difference? I sure do - and to prove to you that this happened in the third year, here's a similar photo of me in between these two at 23 months on e:

I’m usually not one for transition timelines, mainly because my whole project is kind of a transition timeline, and if you wanna look through and see more of what I'm taking about feel free to either scroll a few posts down on my blog, or check out my google drive with all the photos from my projects. The difference doesn't look *too* dramatic to me, but some people I know irl have expressed that it is

Regardless, the point I'm trying to make here is that my experience on hormones was *not* passing at one year - and that's the experience of the vast majority of people I know who've been on hormones. Puberty takes many years, and yeah, that can suck to hear when you're expecting it to take two, but trust me, it's a healthier mindset to think of yourself as continuously moving in the direction you want, rather than waiting to arrive at a particular destination

If you've started hormones in the last year, be sure to give your body the time it needs to make the changes you want - transitioning is a marathon, not a sprint

#vera posts #queer #trans #transgender #transfemme #trans women #trans timeline

[here2bbtstrash]

as promised, here it is: The Big Life Update Post (aka m where the hell have u been and what the hell is going on with this blog)

TLDR: went thru it, came out better for it, i love y'all. and we're getting back into this writing thing as i have the time and capacity 🥳

2023 has been a bit of a whirlwind, to put it very mildly. while the first three months started off relatively smoothly, my saturn return began in the middle of march. only a few short weeks after that... well, i'd basically say everything went off the fucking rails.

content warning: drama talk incoming ft. extremely brief mentions of racism and racist hate mail (no specific details shared).

i haven't spoken on this yet since everything happened, and i want to be explicitly clear that i won't be speaking on it further after this post. but i just want you to understand where i've been at since april.

i will own it entirely and say: i fucked up. i put content in a story that i shouldn't have, that i had no business speaking on, and i think people were well within their right to call me out on it, one hundred percent. however, after i went offline at the end of april, my friends ended up learning that the person who initially stirred up all of the "tea", and submitted the first several anonymous posts about me to a hate blog, was actually someone i knew well and considered a friend.

this was someone whose stories i gladly beta'd, someone i consoled through multiple hard moments in their life, someone i actually even met in person. yep. this was also someone who had read the chapter of my story that featured the problematic content when it was released, and proceeded to send me paragraphs upon paragraphs of how much they enjoyed it, and the story as a whole. this is not to say that people can't change their minds on content after sitting with it, not at all. but to think that i had been through so much with this person, done so much to be there for them, and that they never once gave me any reason to think we were anything other than close friends. yet ultimately, they didn't feel they could come directly to me... or find quite literally any other way of dealing with the issue?

instead, they chose to send multiple messages about me to a hate blog, as well as hateful anons to several of my friends, thinking that we wouldn't know it was them (we did). not only that, but their actions encouraged an actual torrent of racist hate mail to be sent to all of my non-white friends who publicly chose to support me. ultimately, they ended up admitting all of this, and still, they never once apologized or showed even a single iota of remorsefulness or responsibility for the onslaught of vitriol they incited. (even though, you know, this whole thing was supposedly about how racism is bad.)

and this user is still on the platform, operating under a new blog name and pseudonym. so. that's fun. 💀

i don't say this to beat a dead horse, or to drum up sympathy, because i promise i don't want it. it's been long enough, i understand the mistakes i made, and i've done my part to take accountability for my actions. but i needed to start this post here to have you all understand where i was at the end of april - just in time for yoongi's tour 🤪 - in many ways, i felt like i had no friends, at least none that i could really trust. i felt unsure who might have been acting one way to my face, perhaps even praising me, but talking different about me behind my back. and it was beyond fucking nervewracking to think that i would be meeting so many friends IRL for the first time, quite literally days after what essentially felt like a public execution.

i wasn't doing well, to say the least.

and then... the funniest thing happened.

y'all showed the fuck up for me. in droves. in a way that i have quite literally never experienced in my lifetime and doubt i ever will again. even recounting it now is lowkey giving me chills. i received, literally, yes i counted, hundreds of DMs from the most incredibly kind people- on tumblr, on twitter, on discord, in AO3 comments. the vast majority of you wrote paragraphs: about what my stories have meant to you, about how you found my blog to be a safe space in the noise of the world, about how much you'd enjoyed our time together here. so many of you said something along the lines of "even if you never come back here again, please keep writing". honestly, for like a week straight all i could do was read my DMs and cry and cry and cry.

i didn't receive a single hateful DM. not one.

as if that alone isn't more blessings than i deserve in an entire lifetime, i also, you know. saw five shows of agust d on tour. (my credit card is still recovering.) spent two of the best nights of my life in pit getting a water bottle baptism and screaming myself hoarse. and met dozens of incredible moots, who held me when i cried, scream-laughed with me, and of course, drank plenty of booze with me.

at a time where i wondered to myself if i even had a single true friend in this fandom (or, like, in the world), you all showed me that i had so much more. that we had so much more-- we had a community. and i believe we still do. and i am more than ready to block out all the shit that doesn't matter and get back to having some fun around here.

in short: thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you. if you sent me a sweet word, i promise you, i read it (and probably cried lmao). i wouldn't be doing any of this without you. i will never ever deserve all the love that you have shown me. but for as long as you'll have me, i'd love to have a fun stupid horny time in this little corner of the internet. as a part of our community. what a fucking gift it is. 🫶

phew. okay, so- that was april and may. it's november. what the fuck happened?

i knew i wanted to properly take time to get my head on straight before i found my way back to writing. what i wasn't expecting was to 1. fall in love, 2. get a new job, and 3. move myself and my cat approximately 800 miles across the country... but yeah, since the end of may, those 3 things are exactly what i've been doing!

i won't talk too much about my partner here, because our relationship is important enough to me that i want to keep it largely private, but my god. he is the most incredible human. i can't tell you how much of what i wrote out as silly little daydreams in my fanfiction has somehow manifested itself into this very real human being (like, it's kinda crazy lmao 🙈). i'm grateful for him every single day. and what makes it even more special is that we met for the first time in person while i was traveling for yoongi's tour - yep! he saw me going through so much upheaval, and fell for me all the same. just another thing i will never fully believe i deserve. but goddamn do i feel luckyyyyy 🥰

and in addition to my amazing partner (and in part because of him but honestly i had plans to move before i had even met this man it just happened to work out okay 🙄) i have also finally managed to do what i've been planning for the last year and a half, which is move my ass out of the southern suburbs where i'd been for nearly a decade, and to a ✨walkable city that actually has public transit✨ - what a fucking dream. i may have only been here 8 days, and i may not have much more to my name than my cat, my TV, and my mattress, but i swear to god, i've never been this happy in my entire life.

so yeah. exhale. like i said, it's been quite the year.

now i do want to end this with a small caveat, which is to say, i can't make a promise as to how much i can *be* here (particularly not compared to how terminally online i used to be lmao). i spent a lot of time online because i was unhappy and feeling very stuck with where i was in life, and i needed escapism, bad. now, i've finally gotten to a place where i'm excited to go out of my house and do things, but i still want to make intentional time for tumblr as a form of connection and community, and writing as a form of creative expression. these things are really important to me!!! i just ask that you give me some grace if i'm a little slow on the uptake. i promise i'm still here 🥰

and writing is gonna happen!!! i can't say much more than that, because tbh i haven't so much as opened a google doc since april, but i've been itching to get back to it. maybe.... we might start off....... with some........... drabble requests??? 👀 we'll see we'll see we'll see hehe.

in any case, i think that's more than enough for now 🤪 oh how i've missed babbling to you all, the gay people in my phone. i hope you're well, and if ya feel so inclined, i'd love it if you'd send me a comment or a DM on what you've been up to in the many months it's been since we've spoke! what's new in your life? what are we manifesting??

talk so so soon, eeeeee~ i'm so happy to be back~ love you babes!!! 🤍

#mposting #quite literally the longest mpost of all time #if you read the whole thing i LOVE YOU #if you don't i understand lmao i too have adhd