#but maybe it’s a demiromantic situation bc I had to really know him as a friend before I fell for him

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for giving a random guy my friend's phone number?

(🍫📲 to find later)

I (22 NB/F) was working one day at my place of work by going around and putting various items for sale where they belong in the store, as well as taking out the recycling. As I was making my way up to the front of the store so I could go to break, this older gentleman needed help reaching something. I helped him pull it down, but before I continued I was stopped by this other kid. He had a healthy-looking emo haircut and wardrobe, so I didn't think too much about it at the time. I kid you not, his eyes were big and wide like some kind of bishounen anime (idk if I spelled that right). Literally looked straight out of one almost, he reminded me of an excited puppy too.

"Hello! Do you need help with something?"

"Uh- actually, I was wondering if I could have your Snapchat?"

I was completely gobsmacked.

"Uh- I don't have a snap chat." A lie, but only because my snap is exclusively for my BFFEAE (Best Friend For Ever And Ever). I don't pass it out to my coworkers, family, or any other friends. Just her.

"Can I have your number then?"

Usually guys don't like. Spend this long on me. I'm Demiromantic and Asexual, and for those who don't know, that means I have no interest in having sex with anyone and have no interest in dating anyone but close friends. I never thought I'd be in this situation. Ever. The idea of anyone asking me out of the fucking blue for this is so far out of left field for my expectations that I was just staring awkwardly at him for a moment.

"... unless... age is an issue?"

"Ah- no, I am 22, but I'm just not interested in a relationship right now."

And it's the truth, honestly. My mental health has been a rollercoaster of emotions and schedules that I've been struggling to maintain for months. I did have one at the beginning of the year, but dropped it because I realized I couldn't trust my lover (he was extremely conservative, and I had to hide a lot of my life from him, but it was nice while it lasted honestly. Broke up on good terms).

"That's okay. Maybe we can just hang out sometime or something."

I'll be honest, I haven't been in good health to try a brand new friendship with a complete stranger either (I have horrid social anxiety to the point where I am basically a shit in hermit, and with everything going on in my life I don't think I can handle pushing my anxiety well).

Now, years ago, when me and my BFFEAE first moved to different states, we agreed that we could use each other's phone numbers to give out if we couldn't handle it or just wanted the guy to leave us alone. We have each other permission to pretend to be each other for it, that way they're more likely to listen thinking it's you saying "no thanks" instead of her friend saying "get off her back".

So in the span of ten seconds, because this kid was really sweet and I was still pretty shocked this was even happening, I was giving my friend's number to this sparkly-eyed kid (idk how old he was but I assumed he was younger than me, that's just my natural assumption honestly) and continued on with my work day. I told him a semi-common nickname of mine instead of my actual name bc my name is hard to spell and I didn't feel like putting much time into it.

Of course, immediately after I called my friend up and left her a message saying I passed her to this really sweet kid and to be kind with him (she's a protective mama bear kind of person) but that I simply wasn't interested and didn't have the right mindspace for a new anything.

Fast forward to when I get off work and check in with my friend, she and the kid had been chatting back and forth. Apparently he was into drugs (I have sensory issues and can't handle that kind of thing, so I feel like I've actually dodged a bullet) but was getting along really well with her otherwise. We got chatting about it when I confirmed that I'm not open to hanging out with him and that as long as she's kind and doesn't try to set me up with him or anything, I'm fine with her discussing whatever with him.

"I get it girl, we all get like that for a time. I'll keep it away from ya.

By the way, he thought you gave him a random number. He was SOO excited when I responded as you lol"

I felt absolutely sick and was horrified. I figured he would have been like "sick", but apparently he had been like "FUCK YEAH". I feel horrible for deceiving him like this, but I genuinely am in no spot where I can mentally handle picking up a new friendship, much less a romantic relationship. It doesn't help that he genuinely caught me off guard, and passing him her number was my first response to handling it.

Am I the asshole for doing this?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[illithilit]

These aren't going on separate posts bc I'm lazy but. The romance headcanons I mentioned doing!

Orianna

Has technically """dated""" plenty of people, but you'll notice the quotes; is it really dating if you're smitten kitten and she's draining you dry of resources or the will to hang onto the souls of yourself and or those you love....? Probably not. The singular person she's dated that she felt anything for was someone who ironically had the aforementioned situation in reverse -- bc yanno, when you're the token backup son of a devout Lolthite noble house, you'll do anything and everything you can to get ahead. Even if that means charming the woman who you figure out to be a devil demigod into granting you magic and planning on taking her divine spark for yourself. Let it be known, though, that she consumed his soul immediately following killing him, so technically he doesn't exist anymore. She still loves the Drowic culture tho

Succubus adjacent without actually being at all a succubus. ( Partially bc I had originally planned on making a succubus, and then the muse evolved. )

Thoroughly enjoys sex, and is equally comfortable with relationships that are built on nothing more than it.

It's not as if she dislikes polyamory in theory, but in practice, I think if she actually fell in love with someone again, she's going to be a bit obsessive about them and would get too jealous for it to be a good idea to have anyone else in the relationship. Bc I note: she could easily turn into the horrifyingly toxic ex / girlfriend if properly motivated. ( Read: this could be your vibe, specifically: "I will kill your friends and family to remind you of my love." )

That said, unless things go in that godawful direction, she's the sort to want to know every little detail about her person, and will remember them all with keen accuracy. ( Might not come across in writing, bc I am extremely disabled in this area whoops. ) Gift giving and service is definitely one of her love languages, and she will positively spoil her partner. So is physical touch tho; one must be willing to cuddle her.

Demiromantic af, but sexually attracted to anyone with enough intelligence. The whole gender thing has never and will never be a factor here.

Tends to quickly lose interest in people if they only express interest in her sexually. Whether this ends in her blowing them off, using them for her own gain, or throwing them out on their face largely depends on the context of the relationship. To be clear, this by no means implies that they need to be interested in her romantically, it's just that if she feels like sex is all you see in her, she tends to want to burn your world to the ground. ( Rafiki vc: look harder.... Throw in an appreciation of her cruelty, or maybe her intellect. That sort of thing. )

Blurg

The thing you have to understand with him is, he's not fit into hobgoblin society well before he was grown; he was that weird kid that the others of his village were either very cruel to or otherwise wouldn't have a thing to do with. Yeah, he grew up with close relationships to his parents and siblings, but like.... My point in this is, between that, and the traumas of growing up in a community ( including himself from a fairly young age ) that frequently participated in surface raids, you get used to death and the notion that no one's safe or permanent. So even after he escaped and put together his own life, he hasn't exactly been one to let anyone get particularly close to him and you can see it in the way that the others speak well of him, but with no real personal knowledge, and how he will tell you a whole lot about his background, but if you pay attention, it's actually p divorced from having anything to do about him specifically. Which is to say, he absolutely never let anyone get close enough to date them even if he's had a passing interest in them. ( It's also why I struggle to picture him in a relationship with anyone but Ome tbh, but that's got another tangent involved. )

Prefers to be pretty well bonded to a partner before he's willing to sleep with them, both bc in his mind, it's a bonding experience, and bc he needs to be comfortable enough with someone to be okay with be vulnerable with them. ( Both in a 'sex leaves you open' type ways and also, he's middle-aged and not sure what he's doing in this area. )

May possibly be comfortable with a poly relationship, but likely only in the circumstance that it's not just one person dating others, it's everyone dating each other, and he was comfortable with the other person well before this was suggested.

100/10 spouse material; he's thoughtful, willing to communicate and compromise, and loves cooking for his partner.

Can be sexually and or romantically attracted to any gender, but is highkey demi.

Mourndax

Definitely had a teen love before he was married to Xune, but it was a bridge he burned in the most scorched earth fashion he could before the wedding out of grief. He and Xune weren't exactly on good terms, but she at least attempted to treat him as a friend -- though her acting in public as if they were married is what seared the resentment and disdain into Mourndax's mind. Never let it be said that he took the bad situation or his hatred of Xune quietly, bc he definitely tried to kill her and their child before he left. And he'd try again too if he saw either of them again. ( No, I've never bothered actually naming his child; he doesn't even know the kid's gender let alone their name, and I am equally apathetic. )

Since coming to the surface, he's had flings here and there, but he's never actually properly dated anyone since he was a teen.

Probably wouldn't be into polyamory??? But I'm not a hundred percent sure here either

Can be v sweet, thoughtful, and protective as a partner, but also tends to not acknowledge that he is. He's v tough and you will not see otherwise, understand?? He bites >:T

Wholly and completely gay in each and every way

Grazilaxx

You look at a mind flayer, and most people's assumption is look at the virgin. Except Graz is not. Graz has spent a lot of time among humanoids, and as such allowed them to mold curiosity into experience. Mind you, its exes do rather read like a grocery list of things is doesn't like in partners ( it likes the decisive, confident, communicative sorts tyvm, everyone else fuck off ) but that's distinctly bc it's figured out what it does and doesn't like through experience bc its younger self had a hard time conceptualizing such things and thus gave most that asked a chance.

A lot of its previous relationships ended bc it tends to be a p intense person that doesn't have much interest in carving out pieces of itself to make room for anyone else. It's not internalized this as something wrong with it so much as an acceptance that it's not everyone's cup of tea. If it's close enough to someone, however, this will translate into it getting cagey about pieces of itself being visible, bc it half expects the pattern to keep repeating. Doesn't mean, though, that it actively masks who it is; it just may not be super open about itself or else side step particularly personal things.

Surprisingly sappy and sentimental when in love, and likes to spend time by existing in the same room together. May not understand your hobbies, but will support them all the same. You might even find little gifts relating to them among your things you don't remember buying.

Not concerned with anyone's gender; anyone may apply. I'm not..... I'm not sure how exactly to describe its orientations, but if it likes your vibes, it might be attracted to you.

May consider casual sex on a case by case basis bc it does actually enjoy it usually, but do be warned: Graz is a dom, and you're not going to get it into a submissive role without sufficient bonding and skill.

#the moral of the story is I will gut you if I need to; I will carve my way out with only my teeth // Mourndax headcanon. #''you just don't know when to quit do you?'' call me a slow learner but I don't like giving in to tyrants // Blurg headcanon. #I am more powerful than I am damaged and I will rise from any abyss you try to drown me in // Grazilaxx headcanon. #we who wield power adorn ourselves with flowers to hide the sting of our thorns // Orianna headcanon. #there may be some other things I'm forgetting but I just...... #my brain ain't braining anymore and I wish to be done #ANYWAY. here enjoy my babies and do with this information as you please

[aroaceconfessions]

This is kind of a long one, but my friends and I were sharing our experiences of a friend of ours who we had problems with and it opened up some repressed memories about playing a roleplaying game with him as the GM. I remembered that the character that I was playing (who was aroace bc I was also aroace and he knew this) needed to get info and he decided that she would get it by meeting a seductress in a manor filled with sex-crazed people.

It would have been fine for me, but what irked me was how detailed the situation was. The party were forced to breathe in weird fog of powder that inflicted them with sexual arousal and we were told that we were constantly being stared at at by horny NPCs. To make things worse, my character's party mate who she treated like a sibling was not only the heaviest affected by the fog, but was also teased sexually by the head of the manor.

My character panicked and was told that she was "no fun" and what made it worse was when my character was asking for info, she was teased to exchanging sexual favors for it. When she dismissed the suggestion put of fear and disgust, she was again called 'no fun' before being bitten near the neck without her or even my consent. This would have been fine if he didn't detail out the interaction with so much sexual undertones and maybe had warned me or asked me if it was okay to do (I would have said no anyone because that seems a bit much) before the session, but I felt like it was too far and I feel super wrong about it.

I don't know. I feel like I'm petty for even having a problem with this. I don't even know if I should be sending this here. But I felt like he keeps pushing these weird plots to my characters especially since most of them are aspec. It makes me rethink my friendship with him and even if he respects my sexuality at all. He's supportive otherwise, but in hindsight for how he treats some of my characters and even my other friends' (one of them played a demiromantic character that he was pushing for a romantic subplot that my friend didn't agree to), I don't even know if he really is supportive of aspec identities or even takes it seriously and it hurts me since I always thought that he's one of the few that do.

I'm sorry if this was rambly but I really don't know how to vent this to with my friends and I'm not sure if they think it's as serious as I make it out to be in my head. I feel crazy just thinking this.

#maybe get new friend op? #roleplaying #aroace #aromantic #asexual #nonconsentual sex #Anonymous

[nicklander]

[ jacob elordi, cis man, he/him ] have you seen NICHOLAS LANDER lately ? yeah, i heard they’re TWENTY-FOUR years old and a MED STUDENT now in charleston city. i mean, i don’t know if it’s their CAPRICORN vibes or that they’re -JUDGMENTAL and -BLUNT but also +CURIOUS and +INDEPENDENT but they remind me of PLUTO PROJECTOR by REX ORANGE COUNTY. here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble around here.

hi, i’m ella (she/her)!! and i’m so excited to be part of this roleplay. i have to quarantine for the next 14 days, so i’ll be here all day ghdhgdhgd

basic information

FULL NAME: Nicholas Alexander Lander

NICKNAME: Nick

AGE:  Twenty-four

DATE OF BIRTH: January 15, 1997

PLACE OF BIRTH:  Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

GENDER: Cis Man

PRONOUNS: He/him

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Bisexual

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION:  Demiromantic

LANGUAGES: English and Spanish

character inspo

ben wyatt (parks & rec)

schmidt (new girl)

sam wier (freaks & geeks)

amy brookheimer (veep)

chandler bing (friends)

michael bluth (arrested development)

jim halpert (the office)

jeff winger (community)

background

** this is gonna be a mess but i tried

born in pittsburgh, nick is one of five kids. tbh his parents should have stopped having kids after the first one but oh well, who am i to tell them what to do?

he had a lovely mother and a not so lovely father. they were alright but his parents really didn’t have a lot motivation in life. they really stuck to the philosophy of “the rich get richer and the poor get poorer”. their lack of ambition is something that still bothers nick a lot.

his dad had multiple jobs, rarely could keep a job and his mother often had to take even three jobs in order to bring food to the table.

out of all his siblings, nick always had a drive that was often misunderstood by his family. the mere concept of graduating high school seemed impossible for his older siblings.

he started working when he was eight. not officially bc ya know that’s illegal or maybe it isn’t idk US laws but stay with me.

anyway, his uncle worked at a country club as an on-site custodian. nick and his uncle were always very close and in a way, he was more of a father than his own father to him.

tired of his home situation (it was a very unstable household tbh) he often spent time with his uncle and helped him clean the pools, or he picked up lost golf balls in exchange for a “salary”. after the country club closed, his uncle and him used some of the amenities, especially the tennis court.

he’s started playing tennis at eight years old and from the start he showed natural talent and love for the sport. there was something about the sound of the racquet hitting the ball that seemed rather therapeutic (shut up, ella, you tennis nerd)

his uncle pretty much trained him for most of his childhood, with the aid of youtube videos and them watching matches.

by the time he was fourteen, he was noticed by one of the coaches at the club and offered to train him if he decided to compete, of course, in exchange of a percentage if he won.

nick turned out to be a pretty good tennis player and won some junior tournaments. his uncle and coach had high hopes that he would go pro but to nick, tennis was just part of his plan and not something he wanted to do for the long term.

at 14 years old, he was top ten in the junior ITF rankings and it seemed that he was going to turn pro very soon. meanwhile, he continued his education, always getting good grades and being top of his class.

despite the pressure from his uncle and coach to go pro, nick kept postponing it until his senior year. he figured that if he could win a few tournaments, he could have enough money to attend college.

so at eighteen years old he debuted on the pro tour, he won some matches, reached some semifinals but it was clear that he didn’t love the sport that much to really give it all for the win.

after two years on the tour, he opted to attend college after princeton university offered him a sports scholarship. while his uncle and coach were disappointed, they knew that he had done his fair share.

played for the princeton tennis team while majoring in biochemistry. he graduated this year, being top of his class.

tw illness: he was accepted into columbia for med school, but around that time his mother had fallen ill. his mother, a charleston native, returned to the city after her divorce while the rest of the family remained in pittsburgh. 

nick rejected columbia and enrolled at med school in charleston, so he can be closer to his mom and take care of her since his siblings and father pretty much bailed on the responsibility.

he’s utterly miserable because of how his life turned but he still plans to transfer to columbia when his mom gets better.

he also has a part time job at the local country club as a tennis instructor.

personality

very rational and analytical. honestly arguing with him is exhausting because he’s damn stubborn. just thinking about it makes me sick bc i will have to write it gydgdgd

too ambitious. i’d say he has atychiphobia because nothing terrifies him more than the failure. his parents pretty much set the whole family up for failure so the fact that he hasn’t failed so far makes him feel very proud but also makes him scared of it.

judgmental af! he doesn’t even need to say anything, one look is enough to show his disapproval.

often uses sarcasm and it’s not really as a defense mechanism, it’s just something that comes natural to him and most of the times he doesn’t do it in order to make others feel bad.

ofc he’s a perfectionist and that causes him a lot of stress bc ya know nothing is perfect in life

can be a bit too blunt sometimes. he’s not one to sugarcoat things and if you ever need a proper honest opinion then he’s your guy!

headcanons

he was president of the debate club at princeton

he minored in cognitive sciences

has 3 nephews and 2 nieces

started learning mandarin but then switched to spanish

pls don’t call him nicky, he hates it ghdhgdgh

he’s never been high and i’m gonna link this gifset bc it’s truly him

ngl a few older married woman have hit on him bc idk i guess they want to live their tennis coach/suburban mom fantasy but he’s not very into any kind of cliche hgdghdtdtd

not into sports. i mean he watches tennis, but he tends to overanalyze everything and ain’t nobody got the time to do that with sports (unless your name is ella)

wanted connections

best friend: the definition of friendship. nick doesn’t give this title easily but this person really has become the sibling he always wanted and they are one of the few people he trusts. nick usually doesn’t ask for advice but if he were to do it, your muse would be the one he would call.

first love: nick used to come to charleston every summer to visit his grandparents. they could have either dated for some time or they were always about to date but the timing was never right. the point is that nick really developed feelings for this person which doesn’t happen often to him. they always wonder what would have happened if they had give their relationship a go. 

love-hate: they hate each other’s guts and they can’t help to bicker all the time. they are so opposite and nick cant help but roll his eyes when your muse is around but at the same there’s a lot of tension between them.

enemies/competition: personalities clash all the time and it’s especially true with these two. after all, nick can be self-righteous and too competitive at times. It’s not that they’re enemies or rivals; they simply don’t like each other.

tennis students: he works as a tennis coach at the country club.

fwb: lol y'all know the drill. maybe your muse is slowly becoming someone he trusts outside of the bedroom but it all started as a no strings attached relationship. 

crush: they’ve been friends for quite awhile and there’s some obvious chemistry between them but they haven’t acted on it because they don’t want to ruin their friendship.

bad influence: so, nick is usually the kind of guy who follows the rules but he needs someone to be a bad influence and encourage him to go out of his comfort zone. 

exes: we can plot if they ended in good or bad terms.

unlikely friendship: ya know, their personalities says they shouldn’t be friends yet they are.

old friends: people he met while living in pittsburgh, new york or new jersey

used to be friends: they used to be friends but they had a fallout and since then things have been awkward between them. they didn’t fight but they left a lot unsaid.

#charleston:intro #illness tw #a mess

[bi-lesbian]

heres the thing with identities-

some people choose their identities bc theyre into a certain gender(s) and are actively against dating other genders.

but some people arent.

some people know they have an active interest in some genders. but they dont have an active disinterest in others. they dont find the idea of dating X bad- and maybe even find the occaisonal person of that gender cute, but usually not/never really enough to actually persue a relationship with them.

these kinda people have a few options, depending on their own personal feelings-

they just label themselves solely on the people they tend to persue, even if they may not Only Ever date those genders in the future. they dont really care to define themselves on a maybe (or tiny bit of attraction/rare exceptions for a relationship)

they use labels like "homoflexible," "heteroflexible," or such, because they find the possible fluidity of their attraction to be significant for themselves.

maybe even just use bi (or other mspec labels) and including the genders theyre not very/usually attracted to, bc they may just be happy forming relationships with people even outside of their attractions (can often also be related to aspec ppl who dont have a high amount of/any attractions in the first place, but like having relationships)

or use more vague labels like queer, or other things!

this is kinda a big situation for the usage of "bi lesbian" and such labels. not everyone using mspec lesbian labels apply to this sorta stuff, but a lot of them fall into this gray area of sexuality exceptions or general fluidity.

and this also shows that not everyone of certain sexualities are actively very strict- ive met a lot of people who use certain labels that specify only one gender theyre into, but they still have had relationships with ppl outside of that gender while using that label. they just focus on their love for that gender when Looking for a relationship, so they just use the label specifying that. but relationships that kinda just form over time instead of being persued? may include any genders for them. it could maybe be sort of a demiromantic/sexual only for certain genders kind of situation.

and im continuously thinking more into my identity and how i feel about my gender and orientation. its not very important for me to make sure i have Everything Very Clearly Layed Out, i just find it fun to think on and discuss- just a interesting journey through my own feelings. and through this i keep finding more reasons for why the bi lesbian label feels so extremely comfortable for me- since my identity is so complex and sometimes even vague, and it gets down a lot of my different feelings fairly well into a term, where many others dont feel fully descriptive of/specific enough for my feelings.

when i think about my future and the kinda romantic relationship i envision for myself, i picture a woman. of course, im currently dating my wonderful girlfriend right now, and hope that itd last my whole life- but even aside from that, if we dont continue dating at some point in the future, i still picture myself with a girl. im actively very interested in being with women.

but with guys? i dont really hold much attraction to them (its mostly aesthetic attraction i have, i believe), but im defintely not against ever dating them (and no i do not feel pressured into keeping myself "open" to guys. i know my feelings better than yall do, please stop trying to push comphet onto me). the idea of dating a guy im close to sounds really nice!

bc heres the thing: im arospec! im cupioromantic! i hold the idea of dating higher than the actual amount of attraction i have! i dont have much attraction to begin with ! im pretty sure i have some romantic attraction, but most of it is aesthetic ! i love (romantic) love more than i feel it! i can find myself happy dating anyone of any gender im close to- but most of my attraction falls to girls, and probably all (?) of my romantic attraction does. but im a person that doesnt need or care about having attraction to date- neither does my girlfriend, even.

she doesnt care about labeling herself or looking into her relationship with gender and orientation and such that much, but a lot of our feelings are similar. shes said bi lesbian probably fits her as well, so does cupioromantic, and she definitely has (some form of) attraction to girls, but her attraction in general is confusing too, and shes fine dating anyone! were polyam, and she also has a boyfriend- she may not have romantic attraction to him, but she loves him still! shes the type to not care much on if a relationship she has with someone shes close with is labeled as a friendship or a romantic relationship, shes just happy being with them!

this is just a big point about my orientation, its heavily affected by my arospec/cupioromantic identity. bi shows more on who im fine with dating, while lesbian is more representative of my attraction and who im actively interested in! it just helps pin down these complex feelings in a bit simplified way, and its why i love using this label so much ! ♡

#bi lesbian #cupio #cupioro #cupioromantic #aro #aromantic #arospec #explanation

[gautierprotectionsquad]

Saint and the Sinner by Sam Burns review (contains spoilers)

Book 4 of the Wilde Love series.

I don’t know why i call these reviews. they’re more like reactions. I end up spending a large part of this post angry ranting about Brendan Quinn.

I thought this book might take place around the same time as book 2. At least chapter 1 is a scene that happened in book 2 in Owen’s pov. Also, great chapter title. “Owen Gets a Prologue, Sort Of.” I never mention them but the chapter titles for these books are pretty good. Not so much for book 3 bc book 3 was sad.

I headcanonned Owen as demiromantic and Mickey as demisexual before reading this book. I don’t really headcannon them as that anymore.

I’m glad there’s a barista showing concern for him. I love how this series gives it’s extras so much life within the story. They aren’t just bystanders, they’re people.

Oh wow. Mickey kissed him. Within the first chapter. How long has mickey been harboring those feelings? I do not mind a sex scene in chapter 1. Such a good sex scene.

“I have feelings.” He was terrified for a moment that Owen was saying he had feelings for him, and that would be the end of him. “And I show them all the time. Is that a problem?” Dude are you fking stupid? Owen’s had feelings for you since forever. You knows he’s been into you since he was 13.

wAIT. Mickey just assumed Key knew he was bi? OWEN had to be the one to tell him his brother had no clue? I honestly don’t know who’s stupider, mickey or key. When we first met mickey, liam said he was straight too. Are all his friends just assuming he’s straight bc he was dating Amy or is he just living life as he is but never explicitly saying he’s bi and just assuming his friends would figure it out? Like a part of me thinks he just doesn’t tell his friends stuff.

Also, damn owen. He definitely loves knowing he has that kinda power over mickey’s dick now.

I’m a bit worried that mickey is the guy brendan quinn has in mind as his replacement. Damn just confirmed right after i typed that. fuuuuck.

“You will be okay, O. No matter what, I’ll make sure you’re okay.”

So this is the first book where the conflicts do get in the way of the relationship. Both are dealing with an internalized and some external conflict (mostly mickey) at the prospect of actually being together and Mickey wants to back out. I mean, technically Jake also had the internal conflict of his grief and sexuality preventing him from asking Brian out but that’s not the same. Mickey and Owen have already slept together, but emotional feelings haven’t really been talked about and i don’t think either of them are going to talk about it honestly bc owen doesn’t want to scare mick away and mick doesn’t think he deserves nice things. Book 1 and 2, the lovers decide they like each other and that they want to keep them fairly quickly. Nothing gets in their way or convinces them they should “let them go” or whatever despite things trying to get in their way like an ex or the moral dilemma of dating someone while undercover. Mick, on the other hand, is trying to push Owen away. While trying not to be a dick.

So many romance novel protagonists, when trying to push their loved one away, DO try and succeed in being a dick.

“It had been the most amazing kiss, and the worst thing that had ever happened to Owen. After it, he’d been sure of two things. The first was that Mickey had feelings for him too. The second was that Mickey never intended to kiss him again.” Just like what I said. This type of angst wasn’t in the previous books. It’s like book 1 and 2 were almost identical and then Sam Burns decided to spice it up a bit.

“Or the fact that I hate writing research papers, even though I like doing research.” BITCH FUCKING SAME!

THE ANGST. Dammit Brenden Quinn. Why’d you have to say “you’re the boss.” In front of your son! “Mickey was pretty sure his leg wasn’t what was in danger of getting broken in this mess.” AAAHHH. BRENDEN FUCK YOU. he did it on purpose! HE KNEW. Asshole.

Maybe he just noticed Mick staring longingly, not that Owen loved him back or that they’ve kissed/slept together? He’s still a major asshole, crushing the heart of a guy who is family to him.

What’s the point of being supportive of them being gay if you hate every guy they choose for themselves and are the reason behind almost every breakup?

Mick’s chosen to talk to keegan about his problems. Good but also. God he’s so bad at-Couldn’t have softened the blow a little? Jesus. Key already knew he’s supposed to be the new boss and key’s the best person to talk to about that but the Owen situation. Thank you keegan for giving me a satisfying hilarious response. And telling him what he needed to hear. Love that Keegan is basically like “WOW good for Owen!”

So keegan’s vote is 1) you don’t want to be the boss anyway (so i guess he’s telling him to tell Brendan no?) 2) totally cool with you dating my brother. He’s an adult and can make his own choices. Don’t break it off bc you feel like he deserves better or whatever other stupid exuses you have. I love Keegan.

“For a fraction of a second, there was something that resembled real sadness in the old man’s eyes, but it disappeared almost as soon as he saw it.” So you feel bad now?

“Owen frowned. He wasn’t sure why, but he wanted to get a rise out of her. He wanted her to be angry. It didn’t make sense. Did he want her to be angry with him, or Mickey? “I slept with him.” God, Owen and Mick are so alike.

So Litty’s saying that Mick’s not like his father’s other thugs so Owen shouldn’t be treating him like one? That he shouldn’t be mad at him for working for his father. I think he’s allowed to be a little mad though bc Mick hates it. He’s only doing it bc he feels like he has to, that he has no choice. But i guess Owen has to learn to be ok with the idea that he might be the boss and choose to not care, to love him anyway. The way Joe doesn’t care that Keegan used to be a gangster or that he loves his dad despite the crime. The way Alex chose to love Liam even if he was in the mafia even though he didn’t really have to go through that moral dilemma bc Liam was actually a cop.

“Owen had always thought Mickey was working for his father because he didn’t think he had another choice. Surely, if he was going to be the man in charge, he had to know that he had all the choice. He did. Right?”

Is he going to invite Mick to hawaii with him?

They are both so fucking insecure jesus christ. Especially Mick which is what’s causing all this mess.

Hey mickey? Maybe don’t kiss a boy after you tried to break off any kind of relationship you could have had with him? Mickey should be more considerate of Owen’s emotions. He knows Owen has loved him since he was a teenager and he keeps breaking this poor kid’s heart because he keeps convincing himself he’s not good enough for him while still being too tempted to completely pull away.  “You can’t jerk me around like this. Make up your mind, dammit.” YEAH funicking tell him!

“I like people who aren’t afraid of me. Who tell me when I’m being a jackass.”

“You’re being a jackass.”

HAHA! Mickey actually says what he wants!

Ah shit they’re interrupted by the boss. Owen’s going to be so fucking mad when he finds out his dad has been encouraging Mick’s self loathing. Fucker.

Owen’s turn to talk to keegan.

So basically this book’s main conflict is Mick and Brendan’s self hatred. Hey Dudes! GET OVER YOURSELVES!

“And as long as Mickey was around their father every single day, there wasn’t a damn thing Owen could do to shake that hold, he was sure. The old man would call, Mickey would answer, and any progress Owen made would be lost.” So Owen is going to take him to hawaii? Oh. it’s more evil than that. He’s not inviting him. He’s going to trick him into thinking he’s in danger. And Keegan’s going to help.

So despite trying to pull them apart from each other, he can see his son wants mick still. That makes him more of an ass.  LET your children BE HAPPY goddammit. No you don’t know what’s best for them. Stop trying to ruin shit for them.

“Going to take him to Europe and lose his passport so he can’t come back to work?” Owen scowled. That was actually kind of clever. He wondered if it would have worked.” pfft.

No, i’m still mad at his dad though. He knew how his son felt about Mick and about the business and encouraged Mick to go deeper into it and acts like it’s ineffable just bc he thinks Mick and him are alike. You told Mick with your own words that you think Owen deserves better. You shut Mick down before he could even ask to date your son. Don’t you think you’re taking part in making him feel unworthy, in making him feel like he can’t be reformed? You knew your son was never going to want anyone else and you still pushed them apart bc you thought you knew better. It’s understandable for Owen to not hate him but I’m going to hate him.

So even though his dad kind of approved of Owen trying to take Mick away and win him over, they’re still going with their plan to trick Mick instead of simply having his dad not force Mick to his side and actually start telling him nice things and start -i don’t know- Stop trying to keep his son away from what he wants. What’s with the talk of him possibly never going to be able to come back home?

Pfft. so literally all he had to do was leave at an odd time and that was enough to freak Mick out? HAHAHAHAHA. I mean everything else is pretty standard and Keegan actually tried to ease his worry by telling him he was going on vacation (which he is). I thought the plan was keegan was going to call pretending to be worried about Owen on his trip, maybe lie and say some russians were there. Nope. What he did was completely normal, he just left at an odd time and took all his favorite stuff on his trip with him (which is...normal?). The only thing off is that he didn’t tell anyone about it. (except he did tell keegan. keegan just didn’t mention that.) Mickey’s such a mother hen for owen. He should have been hired as Owen’s bodyguard. Lord knew, he needed one in school. He did get bullied.

Now i’m thinking of an au where Mick was hired as owen’s bodyguard instead of hired to do errands.

“...Brendan...was watching him with something like curiosity.” so brendon is finally seeing it? The love and care and worry Mick has for his son?

For the first time in his life, Mickey’s patience with Brendan Quinn ran out. “With all due respect, sir, don’t you think Owen is more important than any of that?”

“I didn’t say he wasn’t,” Brendan countered. “Are you telling me that he is to you? More important than your job? Your future?”

Brendan’s testing him. He wants him to put his son before his work. He’s being difficult on purpose. I can understand the “being difficult and disapproving to force their child’s lover to have to prove themselves worthy of their kid” trope but this is different. Brendon’s known Mick for most of his life and encouraged him to go into a path that he knew would taint him when he could have gotten him legitimate work. I feel like it’s unfair. Yeah, Mick needed to learn to tell the old man to fuck off and choose Owen above Brendan but i feel like Brendan was playing unfair.

The classic run to the airport because you realized you’re in love and you’re scared you’re never going to see them again.

I feel like i’m missing the point/not meeting the book where it’s at. The book is leading me somewhere but I’m not following it. I’ve felt it since that “heart to heart” between Owen and his dad. When his dad finally conceded a bit and encouraged Owen to go after what he wants. I’m still holding it against Brendan bc I feel like this conflict is all his fault. I blame Brendan for breaking his son’s heart by giving the empire to someone he knew his son was in love with, knowing how much his son hated the business. But the story is treating it like the conflict is mostly Mick’s fault, which, some of it is, but Mick might not feel as undeserving if it wasn’t for Brendan. If Brendan weren’t so fucking difficult to deal with, there wouldn’t be so much less conflict.

I wish Owen and Mick got to communicate with each other more. I don’t know how close this book is to ending but I’m going to leave this book disappointed if it ends soon bc these idiots spent most of it away from each other and didn’t talk about what they wanted enough. I mean, they had sex, then Mick pushed him away, then owen found out mick was the new boss, then owen avoided him for a while, then mick kissed him and told him what he wanted but owen couldn’t say anything back bc brendan called, then owen went on his trip and mick is following bc he loves him. I didn’t really get to see them spend time with each other that much.

You don’t give something to a poor kid who has never asked for anything in his life and then ask him for 10x more and expect him to not say yes to everything and only agree to what he wants too. Brendan talks about mick’s criminality like it’s who he is and not something brendan forced him to do. Mick never felt like he had a choice in the matter. Brendan built his empire from the ground up bc he wanted it. MICK DOESN’T WANT THIS. He is NOT Brendan! he feels sick to his stomach doing this work and only says yes to you cause you never let him know he could say no. i wanted brendan to feel guilty. Instead he’s probably going to die and the book is going to treat it like it’s all sad and i’m going to be PISSED. Bc you dont get to mold a kid into a criminal than hold that against him when he finally says he WANTS something.

The book is not looking at the full picture it painted. It’s not judging brendan for the choices he’s made. It’s not examining them. It’s not blaming him. It’s a dick move to ask so much from mick and then shut him down before he could even ask to date your son when he has never asked you for anything. And then hold stuff  YOU MADE HIM DO against his character. WTF. he only ever asked for something once and you told him to his face that he didn’t deserve it.

Brendan better not die before Mick gets to say to his face that he never wanted any of this. That he only ever worked for him bc he felt like he owed him. That the only thing mick and brendan have in common is a love for family and loyalty and a love for Owen and Keegan.

It’s kind of frustrating the way Owen and Mick talk about Mick continuing to work for Brendan. He doesn’t want to keep working the business bc he actually enjoys it; He just doesn’t think he’s qualified to do anything else. He never got a chance to figure out what he wants to do with his life. He doesn’t like his job. Owen has to keep saying that he’s fine with Mick still working for his dad if he wants-owen isn’t going to force him to quit-but it’s just so frustrating bc this is with the assumption that Mick wants that.

Okay. i just needed to let out my anger. Let’s pretend brendan doesn’t exist or matter or has ever had any affect on the decisions made by mick.

“This was the trip Mickey had talked about taking for years, since he was a kid. And Owen was taking him—had tricked him into it” this is actually really sweet.

God he should have pulled the prank on him pretending he forgot the condoms. I could just imagine the reaction; it would have been so funny!

Since they’ve already been in love with each other before the book started the last words aren’t going to be their first i love you’s in the story like the previous books.

“We could be married. If you wanted.”  They both froze.  “Mickey?” Owen whispered. “Did you just half-assed ask me to marry you in a swimsuit shop?”  “May-be?”

I can’t believe he said marry me before he said i love you.

“Fuck, O, I love you so much.” 7 pages after.

They get to spend a lot of time together thanks to this trip. It’s very cute.

He DOESN’T. He’s just a pessimistic ass who doesn’t say out loud how much he hates it and doesn’t think himself capable of doing anything else. The book’s solution is to have Mick working for Brendan’s legitimate construction company but I don’t think that’s a real answer? The REAL answer would be to give Mick a chance to figure out what he’s passionate about; to finally accept that he’s worthy of getting the things he wants and to not think so lowly of himself. He’s not a poor kid desperate for money and food anymore and hasn’t been for a long time. Plus Keegan and Owen would totally be ok with supporting him financially while he gets the qualifications to do what he wants. He needs to learn that he can ask for and accept help without having to pay anyone back. He’s allowed to want things.

It just feels weird that book 1 was about Alex, who quit law school and got disowned so that he could crash on his friend’s couch with nothing but the clothes on his back and his philosophy textbooks bc he reached for what he was actually passionate about and here we are, the last book in the series, and the topic of Mick trying to find something he’s passionate about isn’t even discussed or explored at all. This book’s conflict is more than just Mick wanting to be with Owen but feeling like he owes Brendan and needs to do what Brendan wants. Wanting to be with Owen but working as a criminal. It’s about Mick not being able to accept any act of kindness without feeling like he has to pay them back tenfold. It’s about him feeling like he’s not allowed to want for anything because he’s already been given more than he thinks he deserves.

yeah he’s accepting a ceo position for brendan’s construction company but does he want that? Or does he just want to work a legal job and he would

have accepted it no matter what it was (except working at Wilde’s bc that would be too easy). Is he accepting it without argument bc he feels like he can ask for this or bc Brendan’s just handing it to him and it’s no different than continuing to say yes to whatever Brendan wants-it’s just now he’s saying no to illegal stuff.

“Plus, if he’s halfway out, it’s not crushing his soul the same way, right?” It’s this shit right here! Mick never says he doesn’t want to work for Brendan bc it’s crushing his soul, because he hates killing, because he doesn’t WANT to, out loud. He says it’s because he doesn’t want to hurt Owen. “I don’t want Owen to get a visit saying I’m not coming home. I don’t want him to see my face all over the news if I get busted and put away. I want him to be happy.” That’s what he says when he’s asked why he wants to quit the business. And it’s really frustrating??? At least Brendan finally acknowledged that Mick and he are not the same, that Brendan would kill his best friend to reach a goal but Mick wouldn’t kill his. Except Mick would rather not kill anyone if he can avoid it.

Anyway we’re close to the end. We’ve got a wedding scene.

“She snorted and rolled her eyes in disgust.“Yeah, but they thought you were straight. So now they just think everybody’s bisexual, especially if they want it to be true.” gross.

“Poor thing was so embarrassed when he started leering at your brother that he apologized to me.” dude

“Holy hell,” Keegan whispered. “You’re really in love with my brother.”\Mickey peered up at him. Was he kidding? In fact, Keegan

looked completely sincere. “Um, duh? I better love him. We’re getting married in, like, five minutes.” asdfghjklkjhgfds

We get a domestic shopping scene and christmas. Mick is happy with the office job he has. And Owen’s still trying to figure out what to do with his degree since no fbi agency would accept him bc of his crime family. Based no that domestic shopping scene and “He didn’t even know who’d done the decorating in the Quinn house. Wilkes, probably. Whoever it was, they’d done a magnificent job.” this, Owen might become an interior decorator? With a criminal justice degree.

Mick to key about jon “You’re dating Mister Rogers.”

“Heh. Mickey’s husband.” same energy as “heh. Wife” - vespa ilkay

“Jon was unreasonably pleased with the personalized monogrammed handkerchiefs that Mickey bought him, and he even had a smile for Brendan when the man told him that his gift was that he hadn’t bought the fed “a damned thing.”

“Owen gave Keegan a copy of the Kama Sutra as a joke, and was horrified when Keegan gave him a satisfied smile, handed it back to him, and told him he already had one.” hold on. “The Kama Sutra is an ancient Indian Sanskrit text on sexuality, eroticism and emotional fulfillment in life. Attributed to Vātsyāyana, the Kama Sutra is neither exclusively nor predominantly a sex manual on sex positions, but written as a guide to the art of living well, the nature of love, finding a life partner, maintaining one's love life, and other aspects pertaining to pleasure-oriented faculties of human life” ok.

Mick never killed jimmy. He mentioned at the beginning of the book that he lied to the old man a lot. This is what he meant. Brendan would order someone dead and he’d find a way to not do that while still making it look like he did what the boss wanted.

Brendan died not from sickness but he got shot on the job. Died trying to do the right thing. Penny, the asshole who kidnapped Alex in the first book, is out of jail and is the new boss of the mafia crime business.

The Quinn family house gets turned into “The Brendan Quinn Shelter for Homeless LGBT Teens.” COOL!

Last words are I love you.

THE END

#long post #romanticsap #sam burns #saint and the sinner #mlm books #lgbt books #romance books #reaction #reviews #reading

[lunar-lair]

I keep not finding Asta headcanons and I'm like,,,,,,lowkey Appalled, I can't make 5+1 fanfics in this environment

Thusly!!! It is time to share some of my own! Maybe mixed with some other general Black Bulls headcanons or...maybe I'll make a different post for those. Idk, I just wanna throw Asta into the limelight because I love him

(Also I totally made some of these just trying to make more possibilities for parts of a 5+1 I'm writing. Like half of 'em were on the spot tho)

He'd die for a good cuddle session. He's EXTREMELY tactile, we all know this. But cuddle piles. Oh, cuddle piles. Piled under every single one of his friends, all of them nice and content.

Basically, Asta convinces the other Bulls to join a cuddle pile at LEAST once

(They can't say no bc it was like. Right after a huge scary battle

Also he's almost died like 20 times, there's no loss in getting some more affirmation he's a-ok)

He really calms down under anything soft. Like, just throw a soft blanket over him when he's antsy, or sad, or even angry and he calms right down

Sit down with him and cuddle him, and it's a surefire way to get a smile back on his face

Now this is...less of a headcanon and more of an idea? But like, what if Asta desperately needed glasses

Like he can't see for shit

The main way he gets around is by knowing where people are through Ki and discerning blobs

He can't read for shit though; he's far sighted and...does he have the double thing? Nah. Ok things are just Blurry for him until they get far enough away

Things aren't double for him though (lucky bitch)

Yuno like. Steals Klaus' glasses for shits and giggles and is like 'wow. Your vision Sucks' and Klaus tries to swipe them but Asta does before he can, jumping between them

And he's like '...why is everything so Sharp?' and Yuno's just like 'ah yeah, I forgot you can't see for shit'

'What do you mean?? I can see just fine!!'

Klaus steps forward and takes them back with a half curious, half concerned gaze. '...Asta, are things usually blurry for you?'

'If you mean that things look like blobs then yeah!'

And then Klaus picks him up and carries him to...whatever version of an eye doctor they have in Clover, or I guess the royal medics, possibly

Asta complains for like 5 seconds until Klaus remembers that time Yuno carried Asta like a koala and he situates him like that

Asta gives up like. Immediately

Speaking of. He likes being koala carried

My explanation is just that he likes all the contact it gives and that he can see the person's face

He used to hug Yuno like that in his sleep

Also anyone who knows him would WILLINGLY die for his hugs

They're strong, warm, and perfectly firm

Klaus is a little too awkward to normally give them, but when he trusts you well enough they're really nice

Thorough, just like he always is; just strong enough for you to feel secure but not strong enough to break your fuckin ribs

Noelle has been known to drop bubbles of water on some of the boys' heads when they come back to the base all dirty

Specifically Asta, Magna, and Luck

Sometimes, when she feels like being nice, though, she'll just drop a small bubble on to wherever is the dirtiest, or even use her hands to rub it off, since she can just coat her hands in water afterwards

(She does it outside; Yami would kill her otherwise)

Luck has had to restart the electricity more times than he can count

Yuno and Asta know a little bit about cooking, mostly due to Lily

Yuno's...probably a bit better at it though? Since he's a bit more patient

...would Asta get cold easier or harder since he's basically a wall of muscle?

Like legit he has No Fat right

And he's still pretty Tiny and only like. 15

I'd like to think easier if only for the image of him buried under like 20 blankets on one of the couches of the BB Base (the BBB (the Black Bulls Base (love how perfect that is)))

Also Asta is only 15 and I Greatly Despise this fact due to all the fucking Bullshit him, Yuno, Noelle, and Mimosa go through (considering they're all the same age)

Hm...which sexuality to pick for Asta......hmmm

First thought? Pan. Second thought? Demiromantic, because I like protecting and it explains his "crush" on Lily; he just hasn't known anyone long enough that he ends up falling in love with.

Yuno? Eh...Gay? Gay. Throw Ace in there for fun

Noelle's Bi, Because I Said So

Mimosa? Lesbian, she just admires Asta's awesome-as-a-person-in-general-ness (also because I'm not leaving without dropping some lesbians in my wake)

Vanessa? Lesbian, because I said so and I want more

I'm not doing Everyone, I just want some Lesbians ok

I must spread more of my kind!!

Also uhh,,,,,Magna gets an undercut eventually and everyone dies bc he looks Hella

That's all for now folks

*Looney Tunes theme starts playing* See ya next time!

#lmao #watch this spark some controvery lol #might have to make black bulls headcanons in the future #like for how they usually interact in more quiet moments #got bc headcanons under my belt. now i can chill #black clover #bc headcanons #trash talks #black clover asta #black clover yuno #noelle silva #idk klaus' whole name. rip #entirely forgot i can put character tags and shit tho. lmao

[moonhcnbin-blog]

hey i literally suck at intros but uh here we go. my name’s wren ( ren’s cool too, whatever floats your boat tbh. ) i’m twenty-one, he/him and currently trying and failing to get a film degree. most of the time i’m really into pre-plotting interactions and established relationships, however i’m p flexible when it comes to plotting n all that and i’ll most likely spam you with a whole lotta headcanons in-between memes and vines that remind me of our muses if we get a plot going bc i’m an annoying fucker. below i’ve listed some stats, a little background / list of nonsensical headcanons and some potential connections for hanbin so give this a like or hmu if you wanna plot. ♡

𝙏𝙇;𝘿𝙍 —

is  that  a  bird  or  a  plane  ?  nah  ,  it’s  just  MOON HANBIN  .  word  on  the  street  is  that  the  TWENTY  year  old  ,  CISMALE  ,  looks  an  awful  lot  like  LEE MINHO  ,  but  i  just  don’t  see  it  .  strangers  believe  them  to  be  ABRASIVE  and  PERFIDIOUS  ,  but  their  friends  will  tell  you  they’re  DEBONAIR  and  INSOUCIANT  . they associate themselves with neon lights at dawn, missed calls, feeling lonely at his own party & sleeping through morning lectures in a stranger's bed.

𝘗𝘙𝘖𝘍𝘐𝘓𝘌 — 

name: moon hanbin

birth date: 10 / 8 / 1998

age: twenty

starsign: leo

hometown: seoul, south korea

pronouns: he / him

height: 5′9

romantic orientation: demiromantic

sexual orientation: pansexual

occupation: law student

jung type: enfj

𝙃𝙀𝘼𝘿𝘾𝘼𝙉𝙊𝙉𝙎 —

— hanbin was born in seoul to a relatively wealthy family, though riches & vanity far outweighed warmth in the moon household, with parents that viewed their marriage only in the most basic of its definitions, merely a legally binding contract that would cause only more strife if broken. raised mostly by nannies and his parents’ staff, hanbin spent his formative years feeling a stranger in his own home, raised within a place that permeated endless indifference.

— needless to say, the concept of relationships built off of mutual love & respect was one that has appeared foreign to hanbin from an early age, the results of this loveless & spoiled upbringing resulting in the formation of a persona one wouldn’t be mistaken in describing as cold, sarcastic & arrogant, perfectly practiced to the point of reality in order to hide his true nature.

— homeschooled until high school, hanbin found somewhat of a new lease of life once tasting ( relative ) freedom for the first time, the lack of attention & validation found at home leading the boy to pursue such luxuries in his teenage years by winning his peers over with his practiced charm. though only a semblance of genuine friendship was to be found in the growing social circle hanbin had accumulated, the unconscious desire to be liked & admired driving the boy to hone a certain skill of deception, an exterior that only revealed a fraction of his true feelings, that people were collectables, projects and conveniently expendable.

— upon graduating high school with relative success & moving to daegu to pursue a degree in law handpicked for him by his father, the air of superiority & general distaste for the majority of people surrounding him followed hanbin, though over the years the skill of hiding such traits has become second nature to him & many that only knew him in passing would perhaps consider him a jovial, albeit distant, individual.

— with relative lack of interest in his degree, hanbin has pursued other methods of making his time away from home worthwhile, a regular partier & president of his college’s law society satiating the rebellious streak he never quite outgrew and the continued desire of shallow popularity and admiration.

— despite his dislike of many, hanbin cares for & enjoys the company of those few he considers his friends, being the closest to his true self with them as he is capable of after years of sculpting a version of himself most appealing, yet still maintaining a level of distance between them and his true personality & emotions; with an unconscious fear of romantic relationships & emotional vulnerability, hanbin has never before experienced a real relationship, opting for a more casual route & often being flippant toward other’s emotions in these situations.

— but still, the hollowness of temporary & surficial connections has left hanbin with a ceaseless lack of fulfilment that synthetic pleasures & carnal desires have long since satiated fully, the idea of finding something real, a real kind of happiness becoming more alluring with each passing day.

𝘾𝙊𝙉𝙉𝙀𝘾𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉𝙎 — ( note: these have been left purposefully vague / lacking in detail so there’s enough room for extra plotting and changing around the dynamic of the connection. ) 

— a best friend that knows hanbin better than anyone else, the only person that he truly trusts and cares for. maybe one side feels More Than Platonic™ feelings for the other but it’s unrequited because i love to hurt

— someone that sees through hanbin’s bullshit and they’re rivals of sorts. give me pettiness and constant trying to take the other down

— a bad influence to hanbin’s own bad influence, they either party too much or get involved in some risky business

— a hookup that gives hanbin a dose of his own medicine, leaves him on read and makes him feel like the one having to do all the work for once

— a step-sibling from his father’s second marriage, could be amicable-ish or resentful on one or both sides

— a dealer that hanbin strikes up an unlikely friendship with

— another student hanbin tutors although he finds the job increasingly tiresome and is lowkey tempted to just corrupt this other kid ( doesn’t have to be another law student i headcanon that hanbin would be ok at tutoring in most subjects except for math bc math is the devil )

— a roommate / flatmate, totally different personalities with totally different ways of living so there’s tension n shit

— an ex that hanbin left because he got scared of having feelings for once and totally ditched and yeah suffice to say it really didn’t end well and a lot was left unsaid ( this one really depends on the muse and plotting and yeah chemistry obviously )

#daegu:intro #intro. #i got lazy w this and rushed the latter half lmao #also i haven't proofread this bc i'm Lazy lmao so apologies in advance for any typos / incoherency i'm tired ok #me realising i called myself lazy in two consecutive tags: it rly be like that

[henotichope-a]

SHIPPING INFO || Answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog.

REPOST. Don’t reblog.

What’s your OTP for your Muse?

I actually don’t have one atm! I don’t find any of the canon DBZ girls to be strongly-suited for OTP status.

What are you willing to RP when it comes to shipping?

Everything! Including non-romantic ships. I feel like non-romantic ships tend to get tossed to the side a lot, and that sucks! D:

I don’t mind toxic romantic ships if they make sense to the situation and the chemistry of the characters is headed that way, but I don’t really find Trunks likely to fall into that sort of situation.

One-sided ships are also fun!! :D Whether it’s Trunks having a crush or anyone having a crush on him.

My Trunks is demiromantic/demisexual heterosexual, so I won’t be shipping him with any male characters. It’s not that I’m not comfortable writing MxM ships ( I have had MxM ships on other muses and most of my other muses are pan, bi, or ace ), I just don’t see that being a thing for Trunks, personally.

I’m alright with NSFW! I just prefer to keep it to well-established ships where I’m comfortable with the mun, whether that takes just a couple of weeks or several months to get to that comfort level.

How large does the age gap have to be to make it uncomfortable?

It depends on the race of the character. There’s a difference between a character who lives for hundreds of years but looks 20-30 and has an interest in Trunks, and a character who lives for maybe 100 years and is 40 with an interest in him.

No matter the race, though, anybody older than him who met him as a kid and is attracted to him as an adult makes me extremely uncomfortable. E.g. the ship with Mai is NOT a thing for my Trunks. She was a middle-aged woman who got reverted to a kid and met him when he was a kid. That’s creepy. D: That’s NOT the same as two people growing up together. She was already grown. Just... No. Love Mai as a character and them as friends, but I don’t love them together. lol

Are you selective when shipping?

My rule of thumb is chemistry, and some muses require a lot more than others. I think Trunks falls into that category with him being demisexual, so he’ll naturally be more selective.

How far do steamy moments have to go before they’re considered NSFW?

Kissing’s fine, but anything from getting handsy and further is NSFW imo. If it could knock a movie from being PG-13 into being R, then it’s NSFW enough to need to go under a read more.

Who are other muses you ship your muse with?

None, yet. Not romantic, anyway. :>

Does one have to ask to ship with you?

Yep. :>

How often do you like to ship?

Frequency doesn’t really matter to me. It’s a take it or leave it thing. Again: Chemistry.

Side note: I don’t mind being approached to loosely plot a ship! It’ll still depend on how things progress within the interaction and nothing should be forced, but I don’t mind figuring out the best situation to put our muses in to help them get the ball rolling with shipping in mind and seeing where it goes.

Are you multiship?

Yep!

Are you ship obsessed or ship more-or-less?

Definitely more-or-less, except for when I’m actually in a ship. Then I will scream with you until 4am and have thirty fucking threads with you and alL THE CRACK THREADS, MY FRIEND. ALL THE CRACK THREADS.

What is your favorite ship in your current fandom?

Idk all the ship names ( never really been into fandom communities, I just watch the shows lol ), but I love Gohan and Videl. <3 And Bulma and Vegeta.

Finally, how does one ship with you?

Ask, if you’re interested!

Tagged by: Stole it!

Tagging: If you’re reading this, I’m tagging you. Tag me so I can read bc I’m a nosy bitch so very interested in getting to know you. :D

#{|| tag tbd;; OOC

[wewalkadifferentpath]

BELLAMY BLAKE😍

oh boy lol alright I got this (bear with me it’s been 3000 years since I watched this show) 

1: sexuality headcanon: he just gives me straight vibes tbh? maybe demiromantic or something, hmmm2: otp: him and A Break™? really though him and Clarke, one true pair legit (also, him and a soft blanket? honestly? and someone to play with his hair and hug him and tell him things are ok? please?) 3: brotp: him and the whole squad really, but Bellamy x Raven are chill, and I think Bellamy x Lincoln could’ve been cool 4: notp: him and Abby? I saw someone ship that and that was just.. weird honestly5: first headcanon that pops into my head: Bellamy used to have “pet” objects as a little kid, like a pet rock but with whatever he could get his hands on, bc he was lonely and also just creative af, and later it was an excuse to talk to Octavia without anyone knowing bc people just thought he had a lot of imaginary friends6: favorite line from this character:  oohh I don’t actually remember his lines..  there was one about “If you need forgiveness, I’ll give that to you” that I just thought was so.. poignant, for their situation. And so many good things he’s said to Octavia. 7: one way in which I relate to this character: Will be a leader if pressed, has soft hair, hates manipulating the truth or telling white lies to loved ones even to make them feel better, needs a hug8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: I feel like he did a LOT of stuff that had negative or disastrous consequences. He does his best but it’s not always the right choice, poor dude.9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave? Cinnamon roll w some decision making concerns and a different moral outlook than me usually but a cinnamon roll just the same, I just love him 

#thank you! #carla #ask games #this was a throwback #bellamy blake #the 100

[and-i-uh]

ignore this im using this to come out on insta

Hello everyone, whether i know you well or not, im coming out to all yall. For a long while ive been exploring my romantic/sexual/gender orientation. Idk exactly when it started but i got involved in learning abt the lgbtq+ community (or queer community) ever since middle school. Freshman year i started to explore my own orientations.

I first settled for panromantic, cisgender, and demisexual. I didnt come out to anyone and i was in denial bc i had a boyfriend so *obviously* i was attracted to guys. (Not). But also had crushes(?) on girls, and didnt not like the idea of dating someone with a nonbinary gender. For two, i thought id had sexual attraction. (Not). And for three i had not questioned my gender. (Yet).

In junior year, i finally realized i was asexual. I was home alone and rejoiced bc i would never put myself into uncomfortable situations bc i didnt understand myself. Then i had my last date with my ex. When i came home i realized that it felt /wrong/ the whole time. Problem, obviously. I panicked to my closest friends at the time and they helped me through a panick/anxiety attack two weeks later when i finally decided to break up with him. (And break his and my hearts). Took me a while to get over that. At this point, i realized i was ace/lesbian. I had to come out as a lesbian to friends that i had previously been out to as pan. Simple enough. I left it at that and it worked for a while.

A year later, quarantine happened. I had a lot more time to explore myself and boy i did. Id been questioning my romantic orientation for a few moments and decided to explore orientations. I came across demiromantic, genderqueer, nonbinary (i quickly decided this was not how i felt, though i do fit under the umbrella), demigirl, and a few others that i decided fit me mostly. I vented on tumblr about how confusing romance and crushes are to me. (Is this a crush or do i just want to be their bff?, no its just bff. No wait i definitely have a crush on her. Maybe its queer platonic? Hmmmmm). I also decided i was polyamorous.

After much speculation I decided i was genderfluid. There was this one phase in sophomore year that i had some extreme dysphoria about not having a male body. I wanted a flat chest and a dick and i was *not happy*. I ignored it for a while and it went away. I had also previously felt like no genitals or boobs at all would be best. When I remembered these things i decided, as i said, genderfluid. It works quite well for me.

Then, about two weeks ago i joined a really helpful discord that showed a lot of different orientations to me, and I decided on several that really describe how i feel, and several things that i technically fit under. Ill explain all of these.

#ignore this im using this to come out on insta

[kimabutch]

Revolutionary Girl Utena Headcanon Survey: Results!!!

Thanks so much to everyone who responded to my survey! There were a few troll responses, but those have been deleted. The results are below. May be spoilers — proceed with caution!

Other responses:

Queer

is into women, not sure if bi

Lesbian, but society have influenced her to view men as attractive (princes) as shown by how she forgot Anthy through the change in the "fairy tale".

Series: Kinsey 2—predominantly heterosexual, but she does seem to have feelings for Anthy. Movie: straight-up Kinsey 3 bisexual.

Other responses:

Bi, but prefers girls because men tend to abuse her

ace lesbian

Too hard to say without seeing her after being out of abusive situations for a while.

I dont think it is knowable, to herself least of all.

Bisexual but also, bisexual is Not the same as pansexual. Pansexual is liking all genders. Bisexual is liking same gender + other gender, ie a person can like the same gender + nonbinary, but not male/female, thus making them Not pansexual. They're two completely different orientations so please don't erase bisexuality/pansexuality by combining them 

Utenasexual

Demiromantic/demisexual

Series: demisexual/single-target sexuality on Utena; movie: bisexual/pansexual

Questioning but def into girls

Other responses:

Lesbian. She has never been attracted to that blue haired manipulative sexual harassing senpai of hers.

Demisexual

Other responses:

Not straight but Very Confused

Ace lesbian 

Demisexual

Nanami seems a bit too immature to know her own sexuality yet—see: Nanami's Egg

Other responses:

Queer

She does what she wants

Bisexual, not pansexual. 

Straight, but totally willing to make out with a girl for attention

Other responses:

Some flavor of queer -- I see her as falling heavily into compulsory heterosexuality without realizing it

She's gay but it's gonna take her a few years to figure that out

not sure if straight or bi

Bisexual, not pansexual.

maybe bi-curious?

Other responses:

Heavily closeted lesbian

Dr. Jekyll/ Mr. Bi

bitch

Other response:

Bisexual. It's heavily implied that she was the previous Duelist before Utena. She might have had a relationship with Anthy, which makes Anthy hate her even more after because she chose Akio.

(Neither Tokiko nor Keiko have any other responses.)

Other responses:

Queer, but mostly uses sex for power and not intimacy or gratification

Scum

who the fuck cares

asshole

Yes.

Hedonist

Pansexual but abusive/pedophilic. Is attracted to people not for their gender but for the extent of control he can wield over them.

rather than "no preference" can i put "no orientation" whatsoever because he is a bad manipulative man and attracted to revolutionary power alone

the devil

Toxic masculinity—sexuality is a weapon that he uses against women and men alike. I don't think attraction or orientation has anything to do with it. So maybe aromantic and pansexual?

Evil

Queer

Bad

Power that can be gained from their partner. Either over the partner or because of the partner.

He'd describe himself as Heterflexible

Biromantic asexual. He acts sexual throughout the series due to Akio's manipulation, not of his own desire to attract others sexually.

Other responses:

Queer

Hatefucksexual

Bisexual, but for the same gender attraction, he's very closeted and insecure about it.

Frustrated

Other response:

Mikage = Gay / Nemuro = Straight

Other responses:

Straight trans man

Trans lesbian

Greysexual

hyper-repressed trans lesbian

gay trans girl!!

Other responses:

He's Just A Kid Dude

He's prepubescent, so it's hard to say for certain

Other responses:

I Don't Even Remember This Guy

Likes girls, at least, but is so weird in approaching this that might be trans.

:D

Other responses for the survey in general are under the cut!

I think that the entire purpose of trying to fit these characters into specific sexualities goes against a lot of the point of the show. I see the show as very much a queer (and queered) narrative, and a lot of the characters would fall onto the queer spectrum, and it seems almost incompatible with the project of calling into question pre-received categories of self that the show itself has to even have a survey with questions like this.

I only gave their sexual orientation based on the interactions I saw during the series. All of the men are straight because I didn't see (or remember) them interacting with other men in a romantic/sexual way. I didn't base their sexuality on their appearance or their(especially touga's) flamboyant personality.

A lot of the heterosexual relationships in this show are explicitly shown to be Fucked Up so like, idk. Like, I don't really have a hc for Tsuwabuki bc his romantic involvement with Nanami was just Bad and I don't really see it as indicative of an actual preference and more of like, a vulnerability to manipulation? And I feel like that's true for a lot of the characters, like their really manipulative or abusive relationships can't be taken as like an actual indication of preference. Especially the incestuous ones.

chu chu is gay

I love my gay dueling kids

Some of these people's orientation is 'bitch/asshole' if you ask me.

Chu Chu is clearly gay. Come on.

???lol utena isnt straightttt

fuck akio ohtori

Literally everyone is bi in the Utena universe. Nice and simple. It allows for ease of storytelling, being able to explore gender/sexuality themes without getting all label-y in a narrative that doesn't really use (or need) labels. I like Utena specifically because it focuses on the more interesting storytelling aspects of romance and heterosexism without unnecessary diversions of "am I gay or straight? oh no I can't decide!" (But then again some people think of that as the driving question of the whole series! I think everyone just pulls out themes they relate to.)

this show made me realise i was a lesbian. also dont ever ask me abt chu-chu's sex life again

everybody thats a douche is straight i don't make the rules it actual canon

Chigusa Sanjouin - bi 

Shaddow Play Girls - sexualities indiscribable in our lowly human language

We Are All Wlw

you fool. chu chu is the Ultimate gay representation

chuchu is bi too

It's odd how I just assumed some of the characters e.g. Tatsuya and Keiko are straight just because they don't show attraction to anyone of the same gender in the show but honestly I don't care

Aro/Ace should be a modifier and not it's own category

Although I marked some down as straight, no one's really straight on this show. I can see everyone make exceptions, although they're still primarily what I marked them down as (as far as headcanons go)

I imagine that Utena, Shiori, and Saionji are on the closeted side of things at the beginning of the series.

STOP CHU-CHU ABUSE (also juri and miki are both aroace and platonic soulmates bc not everything has to be about romance i think)

Chu-Chu's orientation is frog.

What about the Shadow Players??? (Kidding)

Bisexual and pansexual are two completely different orientations. Please do not erase the two by combining them.

utena is very much in the closet and by the end of the series she comes to terms with being a butch lesbian thanx

Everything is lesbians

lesbean

Chuchu is chusexual (attracted to frogs).

nanami's orientation feels more complicated than straight but i feel like she'd live her life that way and say it as straight to simplify for people (and herself)

Didn't ChuChu date a frog?

honestly i dont really have an orientation hc for keiko either i was just really aware of the fact that i hadn't put "straight" for any of them and i was like "yea she's probably a straightie" but you dont need to factor that in to your results or anything its just a fun fact, a piece of trivia i chose to share here :-)

fuck i love these gays

chu chu is gay and i love him

#revolutionary girl utena #shoujo kakumei utena #rgu #long post

[mountainashfae]

rowan, aelin, harmon, mialee, max!

well dang this’ll be a long one, lemme toss it under a cut lmfao

So much time went into all this asdgfhuykm

I legit spent several hours doing this

[ OC Meme ]

Full Name: Rowan ThornbrookGender and Sexuality: Male, demiromantic asexualPronouns: he/himEthnicity/Species: half-elf (drow)Birthplace and Birthdate: (equivalent of) October 19, Capitol city of RiverinGuilty Pleasures: late night forest walks, baking fruit desserts (only guilty if the fruits he’s baking with are out of season), sleeping inPhobias: dusty, enclosed spaces (think crypt), being inside a burning building, he’s also got a healthy dose of fear and anxiety over talking in social situations What They Would Be Famous For: Baking Skills, or, ya know, becoming king of RiverinWhat They Would Get Arrested For: being involved with a barfight (bc trying to stop it)OC You Ship Them With: not mine but SOLOMON WITHERSPOONOC Most Likely To Murder Them: uhhh good question none of mineFavorite Movie/Book Genre: does cooking count? No? He’s a fan of realistic fiction.Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: the one where the animal companion dies/gets left behindTalents and/or Powers: he can bake, sew, farm a bit, and is skilled with the sword and shieldWhy Someone Might Love Them: He cares for the wellbeing of pretty much everyone he meets and is just overall a sweet guy also have you tasted his peach tarts??Why Someone Might Hate Them: He can be a spoil-sport and is Lawful and also boiled peanuts apparently.How They Change: Rowan so far in canon started out being a bit stiff and felt like he was weighted by expectations put on him, but through meeting Nazha and then later the rest of the party he’s begun to feel like that weight wasn’t quite so heavy and has been able to truly open up and enjoy life without those expectations and also the judgement of him being half-elfWhy You Love Them: Rowan is that character that I have projected so much on to the point that he’s basically my namesake and just working on character development for him, in character and out of character, brings me such joy. He’s also in a way the reason I have such great friends. Also??? Weather and crop based expletive substitutions and phrases.

Full Name: Aelin ThornbrookGender and Sexuality: Female, pansexualPronouns: she/herEthnicity/Species: half-elf (drow)Birthplace and Birthdate: (equivalent of) August 8, Capitol city of RiverinGuilty Pleasures: the occasional glass of wine, sleeping in (but hours longer than her brother), spending hours playing the flute and ignoring responsibilities, skinny dipping at midnightPhobias: getting lost, losing track of time (both things that happen often), losing the last reminder of his family that she ownsWhat They Would Be Famous For: Her skill in divination, solving the mystery of the group of bandits who assassinated her family!!What They Would Get Arrested For: Probably getting drunk and flirting/getting involved with somebody she shouldn’t and making some sort of skirmish happenOC You Ship Them With: No one currentyOC Most Likely To Murder Them: Any of those faux loversFavorite Movie/Book Genre: MysteryLeast Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: any seemingly forced hetero romance. Make it seem natural at leastTalents and/or Powers: divination and drow magic, fluteplayingWhy Someone Might Love Them: She’s an extrovert and tries to get along with most people, is really honest and will help just about anybody. Also she’s such a beauty.Why Someone Might Hate Them: She’s flirtatious at times but has also never been serious about a relationship n her life. Rather nonchalant about everything and never seems serious everHow They Change: She needs some actual character devWhy You Love Them: She’s the opposite of Rowan, and where the rest of my projecting went that didn’t go to him. I can’t really put the reason into words but it’s a strong feeling.

Full Name: Harmon AveryGender and Sexuality: demigirl, probably graysexualPronouns: they/sheEthnicity/Species: Halfling!!! (lightfoot)Birthplace and Birthdate: idfk about where but it’d be whatever the equivalent of December 5th is.Guilty Pleasures: straight up eating a raw lemonPhobias: heights, being late, missing out on any information, important or notWhat They Would Be Famous For: probably something to do with juice-making or for being a halfling with a large pet snakeWhat They Would Get Arrested For: Sneaking said snake into someplace he’s not allowed, or maybe stealing citrusOC You Ship Them With: nobody currentlyOC Most Likely To Murder Them: -shrug bc no character dev-Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Murder MysteryLeast Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: that “it was the servant all along” cliche. It ruins the mysteryTalents and/or Powers: Ranger magic, skill with a bow, extremely good with snakes, can EAT A LEMON RAWWhy Someone Might Love Them: They’re small and share their juice and citrus with people, they have a snakeWhy Someone Might Hate Them: They have a snake, they’re extremely impatient, and they have no problem giving you the sourest juice possibleHow They Change: gotta get some character dev firstWhy You Love Them: They’re a character that I literally got the idea from in a dream, what else could I say other than they are literally the Halfing of my dreams?

I had to do about 90% of the base character dev right here and there is a LOT more to do. Harmon is still In Development

Full Name: Cauder Mel Toraviel Mialee (Mialee Toraviel)Gender and Sexuality: nonbinary, and idk? Let’s say pan until we know for surePronouns: they/themEthnicity/Species: Sun Elf/Cunning Hob mix!Birthplace and Birthdate: uhhhh no exact town name at the moment but they were in the southwest of Mitria on the equivalent of October 27thGuilty Pleasures: expensive foods, especially chocolates, buying anything expensive for themself tbh (they dont hang on to money long), not having to hide their tail in their clothingPhobias: GETTING CAUGHT IN A LIEWhat They Would Be Famous For: Their illusions and skillWhat They Would Get Arrested For: Their illusions and skill, also all the cons they pull with said illusions and skillsOC You Ship Them With: I platonically sibling ship them with Kit because those two have the best sibling dynamicOC Most Likely To Murder Them: Any of the people they have conned in the past because Mia made off great and bouncedFavorite Movie/Book Genre: Does mythology count? Because they love mythology. Also any nonfiction text on magic, mostly for inspiration purposesLeast Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: are there any cliches in mythology and magic texts? Other than inaccuracies I guessTalents and/or Powers: Favored Soul sorcery, lotsa skill in illusions and disguises, pretty good as improvWhy Someone Might Love Them: They’re a real stinker but in a good way if you’re not on their bad side and they love to show off their skills for others and they adore childrenWhy Someone Might Hate Them: If they see you as an audience they will literally lie to your face to get what they want and feel no remorse. Is that their actual face? Their actual name and class?? Who knows!How They Change: Mialee “Master of Hiding Literally Everything About Myself” Toraviel opened up to a Partner in Crime aka new adoptive brother and a sassmaster sorcerer hob and loves them very much whether they realize it or notWhy You Love Them: They’re such a fun and different character to play compared to Rowan, and everything about them makes me smile. I get to play around with aspects of their hob heritage with Theo and it’s so fun to do and to learn about hobs. I get to do everything that I love about D&D through them.

Full Name: Maxwell FuntGender and Sexuality: Male, aroacePronouns: he/himEthnicity/Species: Human, I wrote Illuskan on his character sheet but idfk what that translates toBirthplace and Birthdate: equivalent of August 30, in a small town called Rodan which got burned to the groundGuilty Pleasures: stealing shoes that are loaned to him, actually getting a lead on that fey artifact he’s supposed to be looking for!!Phobias: dragons, the mere thought of being enslaved again, most heavily social situations, loud yelling (especially aimed at him)What They Would Be Famous For: busting up that one slave caravan?? idk my dude he doesn’t like the spotlightWhat They Would Get Arrested For: breaking into some building to check out a fey artifact because it might be the one he’s looking forOC You Ship Them With: nobody my dude he’s not interestedOC Most Likely To Murder Them: those guys in the slave caravan who he blastedFavorite Movie/Book Genre: He seems like he’d be the horror kinda kid but no, he likes fantasy and refuses to finish a book if he suspects a bad endingLeast Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Any kind where a main/well-liked character diesTalents and/or Powers: Pact of the Chain Warlock with an Archfey patron, newly acquired roller skating skillWhy Someone Might Love Them: He’s got some sass and he’s surprisingly still in excitable kid on the inside. That part of him is pretty cute when it comes out.Why Someone Might Hate Them: He just, Doesn’t Like People and will admit to trusting his fey weasel more than any one person. He also doesn’t like conflict and will scoot if possibleHow They Change: Max “I trust the Fey more than I trust any person or god” Funt has begun to trust others and is acting more like the child he still is. Don’t get me wrong he’s still irreparably scarred but bits of what can is healingWhy You Love Them:Max was conceptualized on the same day as Rowan in the same way (aka random generators), so he’s got a special place in my heart from that. It’s also the characters that have the worst backstories that I end up loving the most, partially because I’ve ruined their lives enough in backstory and it’s my job now to give them nothing but good. Also that Dunks Meta of the experiment sessions just being our Dunks characters playing D&D makes his concept so much more fun. Because that means Rowan is playing this boy.

#dunks n dergs #dungeons drive-ins & dives #D&D #ask meme #wowza that took forever!!!! #thank you so much for making me do this character dev