illithilit

[illithilit]

Plotting call for when I'm out of staring at the wall mode??

#I've never made anyone's life any easier and you know it // inbox call. #''the curse of knowledge is that you can't unlearn something'' yes I can. I can forget anything // tbd. #we love staring at the wall mode it's not rude to me at all lmao #on the other hand the vibes are straight chillin. All the plants are dead but the vibe's immaculate

[illithilit]

It's still so funny to me that Amis began as "the child will be as safe as he is useful" and is now in his "I refuse to watch Breaking Bad because he's too mean to his wife :( " era

It's even better bc he's still both

#sorry for being weird last night. it's just because there's a bunch of shit wrong with my brain // mobile. #Make no mistake the difference is that he's better socialized now #He's like the shelter dog that kept biting people #Except like not as a fear response so much as that's just the thing you do #He had to be taught that NOT biting people was an option #Mind you he WILL still bite if he's getting grumpy #Anyway I just think he's neat okay

[illithilit]

@starlyht continued.

          IN EXPRESSION and in the easy way in which he'd lounged back against the tree behind him, Kophyn oozed a lack of concern about his safety. It wasn't trust, for any single one of them -- Mourndax included, if he felt sufficiently cornered, he's sure -- could just as easily turn a blade on him as they had thus far allowed him in camp. If he were to die here, so be it; there was little to be done for it, and a complete lack of regret for the decisions that had led him here. Best case scenario, Daxie would figure out another way to vanish away from their parents' seeking eyes -- and given the familiar shadows lingering about his person, there was a high likelihood that the second attempt would be far more effective than the first. But then.... That left certain implications that only served to confirm prior suspicion; their parents had to have strayed too far from their Lord's tenants for Him to have so willingly gone out of his way to cloak one of them in His shadows as he did followers of Lolth on their escape from her clutches....

          Upper lip curled away from too-sharp teeth in an easy half-smirk. "Not quite the direction I was going in, but I shall enlighten you all the same; were I less interested in seeing to my brother's well-being, that is not the aspect of my being able-bodied you would need to concern yourself with."

          Whatever impish mood had began before melted away in moments, supplanted with the solemn expression of one sifting through a basin full of words to select the proper ones. "You may be more aware of that than my dear baby brother, I'm afraid -- if potentially misguided as to the source. I will at least say this, as it will be common ground between us both: one acts against the wishes of their god at their own peril. I am but the blade to express the festered wound. My brother, the red-hot poker to seal it shut. That I can offer him another chance at survival is but a bonus."

#starlyht #IC: Kophyn #honestly same ngl??? #although tbqh Kophyn's an ass so he kind of deserves it

[illithilit]

          THERE IT WAS: the inescapable jaws clamping 'round the throat he'd fought to keep guarded. Badly, he wanted to fight, to snap back, to do anything than sit there with the stunned expression his features had quickly frozen into. It was foolish, really; how many other times had he laughed, and hand waved away another's concern, or sneered at the implication that he needed anything more than money to get by on. But this time, the eyes that held concern saw far more than they let on. Any drow could have made the comments Mourndax had thus far; they weren't specific enough to have any semblance of character beneath them. Yet it was by some ungodly foresight that Ashen saw beneath the huffs and snarls and steps away thus far offered, down to the marrow rotting well away from prying eyes.

          "No one's that kindly," came forced hiss. Teeth couldn't part properly; sinew hardly gave way for such a lapse in tension. "No one cares so deeply for no tangible reason."

          'A life no longer worth living.' Was that the reason behind it all? To be the person Ashen himself had needed at the time? Instinct bade that he use this new scar, this new mental limp to bite down himself, but.... The words evaporated on his tongue before he had breath enough to form them. That phrase. That stupid, haunting phrase kept whispering in his ear, kept sending waves of ice down his spine; it was where his own was. Not worth the effort to throw it away, unbearable under the thumb of those who "knew best for him," and yet... Had it ever felt worth living, or was the dread of death too much to lure him in?

          Swallowing hard, his face and gaze fell, settling where the wall met the flooring. "No, I'm not," he muttered, using the whole of both hands to rub at his face. "Because if I go back, I go back to being my parents' pet mistake, and I can't...... What is the point of this, anyhow? What good do you truly think will come from reminding me of my misery? If I knew how to fix my life, I would have by now."

It was not entirely unexpected from a drow, but his very defensive reaction made Ashen think of whenever he had backed infantry into a place with no escape back in Avernus, certainly not of confession, which most worshippers were glad to attend to lighten their mind. This time, the smile on his face appeared, betraying his amusement.

"Not everything in life is a transaction you can pay for in gold. You'll find that gold is rarely enough to fulfill the needs of the soul. And when this finds lacking, I am here to provide advice with the promise of confidentiality. There is nothing I want from you but your wellbeing. This is my calling here, and it will remain so until my Lord calls me back to Him."

The cleric shook his head at Mourndax's attempt to convince him that his lack of faith in Helm made him ill-suited to be here; this would not be the argument to sway him yet.

"The Great Guard is not a jealous god, nor is He everybody's god. He watches over soldiers and sentinels, and whoever asks for His guidance. It matters little whether you do worship Him or not. I am merely here to help those who require it, as I once was helped by a cleric of Helm when it seemed like my life was no longer worth living."

Ashen straightened his back, leaning in to take a better look at his guest.

"Though these reflexes may have helped you survive, you are no longer in the Underdark, my child. Here, in Baldur's Gate, you will remain, at large, an anonymous face. This would be a good opportunity for you to seize this anonymity and learn to lay back and enjoy its benefits. You can learn to enjoy a simple walk again, a night at the tavern, or a night at Sharess' Caress if that is more your style, without a near constant threat on your life."

#vigilantcleric #IC: Mourndax

[illithilit]

          PLENTY OF PEOPLE had gotten his heart rate up in his century and a quarter; a few for far more enjoyable reasons, and some for far worse, far more deadly reasons. But something about the way Ashen has yet to be at all moved from the directive he'd decided on without Mourndax's knowledge inspired far more fear than anyone else to date. It was like facing down a damn hound; no matter what little tricks you pull to throw him from the scent, that nose of his never falters for even a moment, and good gods if it didn't feel as if he'd been backed into a corner. There was no threat here, and he knows it well, but despite himself, his bewildered expression wanders any which way might hold some promise of escape.

          "What is it, exactly, you want from me, priest?" He managed, a touch more defensively than he would have liked. "There isn't...... I don't...... If it's not money or work you want, I really don't see anything to be gained."

          And still, despite the rising panic, the confusion, and the clear ability to leave any time he wanted, he'd not moved a muscle towards or away from the idea. Truly, the question at hand was why; he was no prey animal to be herded about -- he had fang, claw, and spell to force open situations worse than this, and yet. Was it the maddening lack of understanding that kept him hypnotized like an illithid's prey?

          "Perhaps there was some miscommunication, no? I am vehemently not one of your faithful; I serve my Lord Vhaeraun, as I have the entirety of my life. I'm not keen to change that." Oh yes. That was likely to be believably anything but another smokescreen attempt or a verbal dart for the door.

The cleric was amused, to say the least. The drow was not his first reluctant visitor, far from it; though the methods to get him there were... new, Ashen had met many a near unwilling worshipper sent by their family to see if the priest was able to help.

In fact, Mourndax reminded him of himself, once younger. Having just left the Hells, the not-yet cleric was cathartic, unresponsive, wishing he had been left for dead. He was deaf to the singing of birds, blind to the morning sun, lips failing to grin or laugh. Unsuccessful healer after unsuccessful healer pushed his parents to entrust him to Helmite monks.

"You have built yourself an unfeeling shield in the hopes it would protect you from harm. But in doing so, you have deprived yourself from positive feelings as well. People who mean well dare not approach you because you are rejecting them like any other person. Those who do mean harm will not wait years to do so. Your friends are not secretly conspiring against you. Underdark or not."

He tilted his head at the suggestion that this was all a scheme to pull money out of him, barely restraining the comical smile that the notion inspired him.

"My child, were I to favour money, I would have become a mercenary, not a priest. Your name on barracks would satisfy you for a few days, but it would not help with anything else."

#vigilantcleric #IC: Mourndax #I'm honestly curious to see how many times this man can try and derail his therapy session #like yeah he's there but he's certainly not a v good therapy patient

[illithilit]

beth’s childhood

#pretty privilege is real and I'm having a blast! // Orianna aesthetic. #the hands that cradled your face are soaked in unfathomable quantities of blood // Orianna & Asmodeus. #[ ngl tho Asmo is v proud of that hsdjkfh

[illithilit]

#come in peace or leave in pieces // Nethfari aesthetic. #pretty privilege is real and I'm having a blast! // Orianna aesthetic. #ambition is not a dirty word. piss on compromise. go for the throat // Yzare musings.

[illithilit]

@illithilit asked: "You know I love and care about you, right? You're not alone. You'll never be alone, not as long as I'm here. I'm never leaving you; you're stuck with me."

ah, orianna. taking in her beauty as she spoke such words with passion, it was difficult for gale not to be struck with the constant realization which had haunted him of late: he did not deserve her. no matter her hellish origins, she had more than proved what a true friend she was — and, beyond that, a trusted confidant and kind, dedicated lover. the type of being who did not shirk from honesty, but knew how to uphold a man in a delicate state as gale was ... such a person was a rare gem. and, to top it all off, they'd been brought together in the most dubious of circumstances in which she had no reason to give him her trust, only for her to then stand by his side, value to his counsel, and protect him in a way no one ever had before. could he be blamed for feeling it was all so unreal?

yet for all his doubts, the wizard was well aware they all lay in himself and not in the woman who stood before him. and oh, how she had such a way of reassuring him, of making him truly believe he was worthy of her attentions and affections. a soft sigh exhaled, his lips turned upwards to form the softest of smiles, hands clasping around one of hers.

"i know. i know, and i don't think i'd ever have the words to accurately express how grateful i am." her hand was given the gentlest of squeezes, then raised so that a soft kiss could be pressed to her knuckles. "that may just be a new milestone for us, you know: the first time you've rendered me nearly wordless. it's not an easy feat, but then again, i'm not surprised you've managed it this quickly. this is you we're talking about, after all. and you are the most incredible person i've ever had the pleasure of knowing. of loving."

#oh to be a kid in front of a bin of multicolored rocks in an obscure gift shop // saved. #good news: I love you anyways. all the little mess and fuss of you. it's all lovable // Orianna & Gale [ powerfought ]. #// I'm still crying over this ;w; #it's so perfect and cute

[illithilit]

          BY ALL ACCOUNTS, Sol'rys should have been well into cursing him out; he'd seen as much on several other occasions. Fuck, there was no reason not to curse his dumb ass out. The whole thing was stupid. Surely, somewhere fairly recently, he'd had to have misstepped somehow to have drawn their attention. Badly, he begged himself to believe the self criticism -- that it was his own fault, the result of one idiotic mistake he should have foreseen, but it was never that simple with his parents and he knew it. They had no doubt been trying to find him from the exact moment they expected he should have returned home; wasn't as if they'd given him a long leash, after all...

          Looking into similarly red eyes now, he couldn't pull himself away. Couldn't look away again, couldn't force himself to leave the conversation. Almost, he was certain his eyes mirrored the expression of a wounded doe in the hunter's sights; just shoot your damn arrow, end this, please -- yet he hoped beyond hope that he still held some shred of his own dignity intact. Wasn't it bad enough to be proverbially stripped bare and left shivering?

          "Unlike those of your faith, we are encouraged to breach the surface for alliances. I must.... I must have been seen by one of their contacts." Attempts at keeping his breath level and frequent were becoming more difficult as the moments passed, but this, too he fought tooth and claw to keep hidden away beneath his spidersilks. "I think..." Just spit out something, please? "There must be someone new. I thought I knew how to avoid them all."

          Fingernails dug into the palms of his hands, hard enough to inflict increasingly red and angry indents into otherwise pristine skin. It was enough, thank the shadows, to finally tear his gaze away and take a less than certain step back. "None of you need this; I don't think it's wise for me to stay..."

infuriating.  fucking infuriating.  if he'd had any sense,  as he'd always had in this life dedicated to carving out his own survival,  he would rage at the other man and say that they were better off without his problems baying at their heels.  he didn't know shit about dealing with werewolves,  creatures that he'd mercifully avoided through his two centuries,  and had been more than happy to keep it that way.  the barest possibility of incurring the wrath of several   ---  even for a warrior of his experience,  it made him nervous.  he didn't like being surprised by anything,  let alone this shit.

and even worse was the cold understanding that scraped at his throat,  choking him from cursing and telling mourndax to fuck off.  maybe the parasite had weakened him in more ways than the physical weakness he'd spent so much time lamenting.  the snatches of the other infected's thoughts and emotions  ..  perhaps that was wreaking havoc far worse.  he should not concern himself with this. drow could be vengeful;  drow werewolves? far easier to shrug and damn a stranger.  less so someone he would probably be dead without.

his expression did not change.  calmly,  he said,   “i do not understand how they could have tracked you.”   he could fill a damned ocean with what he didn't understand in recent weeks.  he loathed it.  “how have you evaded them so long?”

#starlyht #IC: Mourndax #meanwhile Daxie's over here like #''hmm..... he hasn't yelled at me yet so obviously that means I need to ruin this myself #guess I'll die lol''

[illithilit]

@calimshancharlatan continued.

          SURFACE DWELLERS were so quaint in their recommendations to foreigners; it'd been a simple drink he was after, to relax after the long journey up and away from Gaelthemar, yet it'd been to a house of pleasure he'd been sent. He must admit, the wine was choice, and the attention he'd been getting certainly didn't hurt. Perhaps not choice, given it was derived from his race, but... Then again, attention of a more appreciated flavor was something he'd sorely missed.

          "Something of a hunt, we'll say." Best, he thought, not to share much detail beyond; there were plenty who were willing to kill for the right price, true, but also some who would alert the prey if they knew of it. The tiefling didn't strike Mourndax as the sort, but then, one could never be too careful. Daintily bringing his wine glass to his lips brought him another few sips in careful consideration. "My house is far reaching in its acceptance of clientele. Tonight, however, I have plans for nothing but drink, and the enjoyment of the scenery."

          Much as his instinct was to lean into their playful banter, the words caught in the pit of his stomach and refused to budge from their newfound perch. Good gods, scenery. What was he, eighty again? Flirting was easy, for Hell's sake; it came as natural as fire to wood. "I must admit that I had asked directions to a tavern, but good taste in decor has yet to fail me for good taste in wine. That it meant a good taste in elvish men is a pleasant surprise."

#calimshancharlatan #IC: Mourndax #[ hello!! c: #I thought it might be fun to start Daxie off with his first visit to the surface #bc it could vm lead to some v interesting plot divergencies #what specifically I have no idea but that's half the fun #the other is ofc watching Daxie continue his failguy streak lmfao

[illithilit]

Not that they're a new character, but here's my finalized design for (adult) Razzavell. Please kiss them on the head

#''I just want to go home'' said the astronaut. ''s o c o m e h o m e'' said a voice from the stars // Razzavell. #if you're sitting there thinking 'huh. looks p pirate-y' you can blame Gideos for that #like yes they are technically a spelljammer captain in their adult years but ahjskdhf #the pirate brush was absolutely necessary I'm not even going to make that joke #it's like that old joke 'always be yourself. unless you can be a pirate. then always choose pirate' #except that's just actually how Razz likes to dress #also for the uninitiated: Razz is Ome and Blurg's child and a twin #and their twin Vaspora is why they took longer to hatch #takes a bit longer to grow TWO people in there yanno

[illithilit]

#sorry for being weird last night. it's just because there's a bunch of shit wrong with my brain // mobile. #sorry if you don't think i'm funny my target audience ( me ) has already been met // shitpost. #Only doing my main muses bc I talk about them the most but 👀👀👀

[illithilit]

#sorry for being weird last night. it's just because there's a bunch of shit wrong with my brain // mobile. #sorry if you don't think i'm funny my target audience ( me ) has already been met // shitpost. #This is relevant to nothing but my own curiosity and entertainment #See next post for the other half of this

[illithilit]

@vigilant-cleric continued.

          FOR A LONG WHILE, the only response given was a single, raised brow, and the most dubious expression Mourndax could manage. Why had he let himself be talked into this again? Ah, that was right. He hadn't. He'd been expecting a job, and the damn chaplin was expecting some teary eyed bastard begging for someone to stop the bleeding of his heart. Honestly, the nerve some clients had, setting him up like this. There was money to be made, not.... Not talking about repressed issues.

          "Yes, well.... Perhaps if you'd spent a day in the Underdark, you'd know it to be factual, not relative. The only hands you get are distracting you from a knife to the ribs, pawing at your coin purse, or going to be turned on you sooner or later."

          Further scorn fell silent. Joy.... The word barely held any meaning; was there ever even a time he'd actually felt any? Maybe.... Maybe his time spent training Baljra? No, bit frustrating with her stubborn personality -- although she was still something good in his life. Finally pinpointing the hushed whispers to belong to Vhaeraun...? That was more relief that he wasn't going mad after all, that maybe someone cared, even just a little.... Ugh, why was he considering this in the first place? Burning red eyes had fallen to the wayside and turned distant and hollow. Horrible little disgusting reaction that it was.

          "I'm not usually so daft as to miss a well-formed scheme, but I hardly see what you have to gain from this." Expression snapped back to his previous defiance in a heartbeat, as if to cover up that he'd let anything slip in the first place and erase the sensation that it'd ever happened. "There's far easier ways to cajole money out of people, you know. Like offering me guards or something if I give you a few hundred gold. Or perhaps my name on a new barracks. That might look dashing, don't you think?"

#vigilantcleric #IC: Mourndax #I'm never getting over the mental image of someone tricking him into going to therapy #just 'uhhh hey father I'm gonna need you to talk to this twink bc he's real fucked up #but I'm gonna have to lie to get him here so sorry in advance'

[illithilit]

          OF THE THINGS that Ashen might've responded with, that wasn't the sort of thing he expected. Fellow knights had had the odd pleasantry here or there -- Bel too, on rare occasion -- but none quite matched.... That. Not that it troubled him, really; there were far worse things to be called than calming. Truth be told, having a positive opinion in the eyes of his travel companion mattered to him quite a bit. The reasons why were, admittedly, something to be dwelt upon lest they never surface in the pools of awareness.

          "I did not split you from navel to neck, perhaps?" Stony expression barely moved from where it had settled in lukewarm surprise; if he'd meant it as some sort of joke, he was certainly not the best at the cues that typically accompanied them. "I do not think I have been given calming as an adjective before -- not unless someone was bleeding out.... I appreciate it all the same, though; it is pleasant to be given a word of peace."

          Now, however, he turned to face Ashen in full, head tilted to the side a few degrees in the same fashion of a confused dog, and brows knit together to match. "Was that not what I said...?" Trying to piece together the intricacies of the difference between both sentiments was, thus far, not particularly helped by searching his partner's expression. There was that touch of concern that he got every now and again, often when Amis spoke of the Hells, or the teachings of his people. Dare he even bring up the odd feeling begat by the idea of his living space bringing him comfort?

          Letting the subject drop, his mind turned once more to food, and the last time he'd had any that didn't melt in his mouth in the worst possible way. Likely to indeed be the Rapture, but.... To be quite frank, his own coin purse had little more than hollow memories in it. Sad reality was, being a hellknight afforded higher social standing than common foot soldiers, and better treatment for Bel's loyalists, if you were lucky enough to be beneath his direct command, but getting paid wasn't exactly part of the deal. You were being kept from the agonies of slavery; what more could be asked?

          ".... I see." He finally started. "While I cannot claim to have much knowledge of the economics of this plane, I will be needing to learn if I am to be taking up odd jobs along our way."

"I could tell you were different," Ashen confessed, gaze still fixated upon Amis - but no apprehension was in it, simply an odd warmth in his chest. "There is something calming about you."

Calming, indeed. It was perhaps one of the first hints that made the Hellrider think that his companion might not be a fiend, or, to be fair, a Gith either; he lacked their aggressivity, their will to instill fear in others, even their own allies. Whatever his education had been, he had grown out of it.

"You make it sound like a grim prospect. We will make a home out of this plane for you. Not one you feel forced to be in; a genuine home. A place that brings you comfort."

Either way, if Amis had taken the dangerous bet of escaping Avernus, then the Hells were no longer his home, nor did he want them to be anymore. Change was daunting and intimidating, but Ashen liked to think his companion would soon adapt into new habits.

"The taverns here are quite different. There are prices for all kinds of purses, and in fairness, gold isn't a concern of mine. With so many years serving in the Hellriders, I had little to pay for except our alcoholic expeditions and I was clever enough to leave Elturel with everything I've saved. It will come in handy in the next days."

He was also clever enough not to spend all of his pay on taverns, which many young soldiers, with no real sense of the costs of day-to-day life in a military system where clothing, food and barracks were paid by the Elturian government, were prone to do.

"Why, your horse is very strange, now! He will be the exception in this plane," Ashen retorted with amusement.

#vigilantcleric #IC: Amis #it does no worries!! #also just had to have the trophy wife conversation come up lmfao

[illithilit]

Mouth of the world-

[ID: Illustration of a pitch black horse with no mane, green eyes and magenta pupils with jaws wide open exposing long sharp canines. It’s framed in such a way that it looks like it’s about to swallow up an orange moon. The background shows a range of mountains made orange by the sunset. The colors resemble vintage photographs.]

#when the spooks have a midnight jamboree they break it up with fiendish glee // Larsezu.

[illithilit]

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Secunda (Requested)

#sing for the damage we've done and for the worse things that we'll do // Amis aesthetic.