its like. roman being the only who was hit as a kid puts literally everything about him in perspective. in the way there’s something extra fucked up and extra broken about roman that isnt the romantic tragedy of kendall or the ‘daddys girl fights misogyny’ vindication of shiv. in the way of ‘there’s something wrong with you.’ in the way of his outsider status with his siblings, but Especially in his attachment to logan. if you’re getting singled out to be hit, who’s to say you’re not going to convolute that into thinking its because you’re extra special? that dad loves you in a special way that culminates into a special punishment? dad and i have a different bond because he’s struck me but has never struck you so it must be because what he feels for me is stronger
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i need ghoap frantically making out against a door finally taking the leap on their feelings. need ghost grinding against soap, expecting to find him just as hard as him, only to feel nothing
and in all his wisdom and experience, he concludes soap was tortured and never told him
he’s trying to think of a delicate way to say he understands, that he’s been through it and it doesn’t change anything about how he feels (and who the fuck touched him so he can hunt them down and rend them limb from limb)
meanwhile trans!soap’s just trying to find the best angle to grind his cunt on ghost’s thigh
just it never even entering ghost’s head bc he’s never known a trans person but he has met plenty of people who’ve been tortured - himself included - so of course that’s his logical leap
soap takes off his shirt and he sees his top surgery scars and ghost asks if he wants him to kill the one who did it and soap just hums like, “actually, man did pretty good, they healed real well,” and ghost’s just teary-eyes with awe at how well he’s coping, “looking on the bright side, that’s my johnny.”
imagine he thinks johnny was fully castrated but sees he’s determined to still have a sex life with him so he buys packers and straps to help him bc hell yeah healing and soap’s just like, “holy shit i’ve never had such a thoughtful partner before, such a sweet man, lt.”
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