#but if im not as good as the singers ill feel bad too :) i think i might actually be in a depressive state lads

[smol-tired-binch-blog]

I need to go scream in a field or just scream along to some death metal right this minute

#smol has a vent #seriously like i was doing FINE i was in my normal state of Complete Lack Of Any Feeling #and I try to draw a lil something and BOOM i want to rip my own throat out of my mouth #yknow tomorrow is Monday ppl should be at work including neighbours maybe i can get a little screamin done #but if im not as good as the singers ill feel bad too :) i think i might actually be in a depressive state lads #unfortunately its not good enough to write poetry about FUCK i shoulda just published those poems shoudlnt i #i never could figure how to format the fuckin things but maybe i should!! #just self publish two small (and i mean SMALL) poetry collections on Amazon and make like 2 quid every 3 months #would yall like that? i say yall like more than one of you looks at my blog (hi Sky!!) #all my poems are like themed on flowers and either girls or murder or both :) i had a kild fixation on murder ballads and flower symbolism #half of my shit aint publishable but the ones that are? ooh i went OFF on em #i have like 3 really good ones i still love a lot #HOOO BOY I LOVE BEING MENTALLY STABLE

[satoruhour]

hi t!!! i hope you're well. saw that your requests are open and i'm actually nervous bec this is my first time ever sending a request (⁠๑⁠•⁠﹏⁠•⁠)

may i request gojo being jealous or pouty over reader simping over a celebrity (nct maybe or mark lee especially) (i read that you used to write for nct hehehe) (i'm on nct rabbit hole for the past few days) or or or bassist!suguru teaching reader how to play the guitar maybe?

(am i doing this right? (⁠*⁠・⁠～⁠・⁠*⁠) )

anyway, have a good rest of your day/night!!!

a/n: omg my love im sorry this took so long! i hope you enjoy, i wrote both but ill post it separately :)

five hours. that’s how long your boyfriend’s been sulking and ignoring you and throwing mini tantrums every now and then. all because you liked to tune into youtube a little too much to look at a bunch of boys (“26, mind you! why do they need so many members anyway?” gojo would say) dance and sing at the same time.

“NCT U this, NCT Dream that, what about NCT Tokyo?” gojo paces the room the very first time you explain the whole concept to him — a group of unlimited members while some are sorted into specific sub-groups that represent specific concepts. gojo gets part of it, but doesn’t understand why they needed to be so attractive.

“they do have an NCT Tokyo, actually! newly formed!” you grin, knowing this information would only set him off, and since then, every comeback, every variety show, every photoshoot behind-the-scenes video that you blast on the living room television is enough to get your boyfriend in the most terrible mood.

but one thing that really sets the sorcerer off is your obsession with the canadian singer slash rapper, mark lee. you admired the work he put in — training since he was young and miles away from his family. he debuted at only sixteen and made a name for himself ever since then, always putting in his 200% for everything that he does. mark’s face shows up way more often than the group videos, gojo notices; a lot of the specific fancams that focus on his performance, or those fan-made compilation videos.

it’s not like you’ve been playing videos non-stop, either. you offered gojo to wave his white flag whenever you went to do chores, made lunch, did some reports, but none came.

so you might as well enjoy a few more videos until you break the ice. you reach hour four when you feel a little bad about the glares he’s giving the tv, seated on the far other end of the sofa while you enjoy the fancam videos of fact check.

curiously, out of the corner of your eye, there’s just a bit of change in your boyfriend’s expression, a scowl still deep on his face but his eyebrows are not as furrowed, eyes not as narrowed and squinted as he liked it to be. having dated since high school, you already know what’s going in that head of his — you know he finds mark at least a little attractive, but his pride wouldn’t let him tell you that.

“see anything you like?” you hear the audible gasp of gojo when you call out to him, letting the video go on not because you watched it a couple times already (while not entirely wrong) but you think gojo still outshines any k-pop idol on the big screen.

“no . .” he mumbles, sinking into himself more and more to prevent you from looking at his expression; but the foot-tapping, the secretive eyes, the head bobs all give him away. you know you’ve got him figured out when you scoot over and he doesn’t move, letting you untangle his fortress of shame shown in his body language.

“you can tell me he’s pretty, you know that right?” you giggle, lifting his arm to slot yourself under it. you fit just right upon his bent knees, looking up at the familiar frown on his face. gently, you peel away the blindfold on his face, greeted with the stark blue eyes that you find yourself falling deeper into each day.

“no comment.”

you laugh at his stubbornness, a hand caressing his cheek as you try to contain your smile. even now, he’s not doing a very good job of catching glances at the television and sulking.

“okay, then, i guess i’ll just continue to watch my videos, then, since tomorrow is an off-day.”

“no! i-i mean . . uh,” gojo is torn between admiring your favourite idol and staying jealous, but he can’t formulate words when you stare at him like that; a crinkle in your eyes and just a sliver of your teeth while your eyes sparkle under the apartment lighting.

“ugghhhh . . i don’t know,” gojo buries his face in his hands, “why do you like him so much anyway? do you like him more than me?”

you hum, striking a faux pose of pondering and your boyfriend only whines again at that, accidentally putting down his knees and your support from behind you is made void immediately. if it wasn’t for your arms that hung around his shoulder, you would’ve landed on his lap pretty harshly.

gojo only huffs after also doing his part: an arm replacing his thighs to keep you from falling. there you hang awkwardly, still faced with gojo’s adorable pout, “mark lee definitely couldn’t have done that. i’ll tell you that much.”

you roll your eyes with a big grin, “oh, you big jealous oaf, c’mere.”

without warning you latch yourself onto him, slightly tackling him into a violent embrace with your lips on his and gojo sighs indefinitely like he’s been waiting all day for it. he just lets you have your way with him, letting you kiss him like you’ve never done before. he hums into your mouth, submitting to you as you climb into his lap.

“so i’m assuming you like me more than him?”

your boyfriend teases as you pull away, hands caressing your sides and sending chills right down to your centre.

“do you really have to ask?” you giggle, fully taking off his blindfold, now, brushing your fingers through his hair. through the corner of your eye, you see him play with the left and right buttons possibly to find a spicy playlist you two could get down to (his words, not yours), but before it can even start:

the playlist’s interrupted by an advert for nature republic with mark’s voice that plays through the speakers, panning out to eight other boys on a beach and smiling as if they’re aware of the torment they harboured.

your sorcerer boyfriend merely throws his hands up in frustration (“oh, come on!”), melting into the couch with a permanent scowl while the living room only fills up with your loud laughter.

#euuughhhh idk how to feel abt this but i should be kinder to myself considering i havent written for a whole month #and is currently burning up #it's only up from here ig #gojo x reader #gojo fluff #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru #gojou satoru x reader #gojou x reader #gojo x you #satoru gojo #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jujutsu kaisen gojo #jjk fluff #jjk x reader #jjk drabbles #jjk scenarios

[acesofspadess]

This Is The Voice

a/n: everyone needs some more Niall

summary: you're the mega mentor, and Niall doesn't know that

“This is the last knockouts ill ever get to coach and im really excited because our mega mentor this season is one of the greatest singers and people of all time.”

“Shes a legend in the industry.”

“She is an EGOT”

“So the mega mentor this season is……… Y/N L/N! Or Horan to Niall”

BLAKE

“Well this like a full circle moment for me. You were here as Adams advisor in the first season and now you are mega mentor in my last season.” blake looked down at 29 year old you who was reminiscing. “What does that say about our relationship.”

“That whenever you're here I lose.” you laughed at him as he shook his head. “You let yourself lose to an 18 year old Blake.” his eyes widdend at that, “Oh man, i forgot you were only 18. I feel so old. And now your married too.” he shook his not wanting to think about it any more.

—-----

KELLY

“You still havent seen Niall yet?” Kelly and you had a moment to chat before the artist came in. “no and I feel so bad. I've been super slow on my answers to his text. I just want to hold him.”

I've know Y/N since she was around 18, we got to perform together in Vegas almost 12 years ago.

“Im so glad it's Blake’s last season. Hes just had a very good vibe.” Kelly filled you on some behind the scenes.

“Oh thats good, he really can be a pain sometimes.

And I've also been able to work with her and tour with her and learn from her. Shes so young and has taught a lot of artist with singing and being on stage. I love that all these artist are gonna get that same experience today.

—---------

CHANCE

There was a knock on your dressing room door and you opened it to see Chance. “Y/N!” He cheered as he opened his arms up for a hug. You laughed and thanks the heavens you werent wearing heavy makeup as he was wearing white. 

Y/N�� shes a legend in the industry. Grammy award winning artist.

“And when was the last time i saw you?” you laughed at his question. “Probably Grammy’s 2020…?” he shook his head, “how could i foget miss album of the year.

Her being a top tier artist for so long and having so many experiences is something that we could all grow from. 

After Chance had run down his artist for you, you waited for them to come in and laughed at whispers you heard. “Well hello there, I love your hair.” you told Nariella whose hair was similar to your ginger colour. “I actually got the idea from you.” you both laughed and whispered an ‘i like you already’. 

I just think its so amazing for her to be here and represent black women and girls. Shes definitely someone i look up to.

—---------

NIALL

It was finally time to see your love. Niall was supposed to be meeting Riley… but you didnt let that happen. You were facing the camera, your back facing the direction Niall would walk through. 

“Riley Tate-”

You turned around at the sound of his voice and he immediately stopped talking. “Hi love.” you  were smiling so hard at his reaction to seeing you before he scooped you up in a hug and twirled youn around.

“Why are you here- wait. Your da mega mentor?” his accent was thicker because of the surprise and you loved it. 

I mean to work with Y/N L/N the queen of pop… im getting goose bumps thinking about it now, its just amazing being in her presence 

Thats your wife Niall

Say it again 

“Well now that your here i was going to ask you if you wanted to come to a golf course with me.” Niall had his head on her shoulder and he could feel the laugh that came from her at his words.

Shes an absolute legend, and she teaches me something everyday, i cant wait for her to teach my team.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Alright love, Gina, shes really shy, reminds me of you when you came to write for the band.”

Niall laughed his beautiful laugh as you hid your face in your hands. “Don't remind me.”

“You might have to tell her to speak up.” you nodded at the information and were ready to see her. “And then she sings, and a different person comes out, a lot like you.” you cooed at his comparison seeing how much Gina meant to Niall.

“Now Kates kinda got the jazzy, Amy Winehouse-y vibe.” you ‘oo’ed’ at the information. “Lets see what they got.”

You watched as they walked around the corner and saw them subtly freak out at seeing you. You got up from your seat with the help of Niall(not that you needed it but he always held his hand out for you).

“Look who ive got!” Niall cheered from behind you as the girls gave you hugs.

I saw the ginger hair and Niall leaning on her and was like- please… ITS Y/N”

“How are you?” you asked hugging them both.

I was not expecting Y/N to be in the room with Niall. I was very starstruck.”

“Im gonna sing ‘somebody that i used to know’,” Gina shared her song and you marvelled at the softness of her voice. “Im very close to my dad, and he was a DJ and that was a song he always loved.”

“Thats beautiful Gina truly.”

Listening too her sing brought chills to your skin. 

You cheered as she finished and let Niall say what you know hes been holding in.  “And that sass that youve got this week.” Niall admired with a little laugh. “Really?” you loved how she went from this marvellous singer to this soft spoken girl. “I wasnt expecting that.” Gina thanked Niall before she looked at you and you shook your head.

“You gave me chills seriously, the only thing is ‘for lack of better wording’ understanding your words.” you watched as she took the advice and applauded her silently knowing if you were in her possician you would have certainly started crying.

“Yeah keep those words separate. Its very easy to go-” and you watched as he broke off his words in example. “You know what I mean. So give your self a bit of space.”

“I like that bub. I like that a lot.” 

You listened to him sing the words slowly and closed you eyes in sereness. “That staccato.” you pitched in. “her first audition to right now,” he looked at you threading his fingers with yours, “completley diffrent person.” you laughed softly squeezing his had. “I was just like you when i started, you can ask him.” he kissed your temple lightly in admiration, “she still is. Cant give her a compliment without her hiding away. Huh, beautiful?” you did as he knew you would and tucked your face into his neck. “See.” 

You turned your head to watch Gina and Kate play fight as theu swapped places. “I really wish you guys liked each other.” you joked sitting up properly. “I know so much hatred in here.” Niall joked back with you adjusting in his seat. “Its just awful.” Niall lost it, throwing his head back in laughter, letting you hear his laugh again. That would always be your favourite song. 

~~~

“Ooh we've got a guitar.” you saw the shaped guitar and immediately fell in love. “Its my baby.” Kate spoke. “Gonna have to get me self one just like that,” you all laughed before Niall looked at the gap between your seats and pulled your seat closer to his. You grabbed his hand and kissed it before looking back up at Kate. “what song are gonna sing love.” you asked as Niall sat back in his seat. “Im singing ‘Call Me’ by Blondie.”

“Oh lets hear it.” 

Kate had the stage presence of a lifetime. “Very good!” you clapped proudly. “Thank you.” you smiled as Niall began to speak. “My favourite parts are when its chilled.” You agreed with him softly as he continued to speak. “Dont stay with the-” Niall sang in a high pitch for example and you nodde your head. “Towards the end it gets a bit crashy for me. I wonder if there's a way of toning it down?” he looked to you for advice. “Tone down the crashing for more like ‘TOMS’ or something like that?” you offered and he took it. “Yeah so we can offer some more jazziness.” he agreed while drumming in the air, “you wanna come back up Gina?” You smiled widely hearing the softness and joy in his voice when he talked to her. “Im thrilled to pieces. I asked a really close friend of mine when were younger, who is now very successful, what is the best piece of advice you can give me. He said ‘have fun’. So i hope your having fun and getting to meet people that youll remain friends with forever.”

You watched Gina and Kate turn to each other and you hugged yourself. “Awwe that makes me so happy.” Niall grabbed your hand and held it in the air. “And one day you might marry them.” you all laughed before Niall spoke up again. “You're the best ladies.” you watched as they walked away and Niall rested his head on shoulder again. “I love you. You're amazing.”

“I love you too Ni.”

`````````````````````````````````````````````

Niall taglist:

@youcan-nolonger-run @ravenclawdirectioner

@luxiorchive @maeflowers653

#nialler #cute niall #niall horan x reader #niall horan fluff #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan #niall horan smut #niall fanfic #niall one shot #one direction #solo niall #niall 1d #niall james horan #niall horan fic #niall the show #niall horan x y/n #niall imagine #niall horan x you #the show 2024

[grzybjek]

for some reason i cant answer this ask directly BUT thank u user @honestlytastygayasstrash for the ask now get ready for the longest post ill ever write. I fucking love talking about my characters.

here they are. my scrimblos. :

Antek, token cis white man of the group: -ISFJ, he/him, age is around 18, listens to ABBA, Queen, Modern Talking, Manaam, Obywatel GC, Lady Pank and Depeche Mode.

(i think i wrote it on his ref sheet but he got his scar by simply tripping over a cupboard as a child. He doesnt tell anyone about this though and always comes up with different stories about how he got the scar. So some people think he got it by winning a bear fight or fighting a drunk old man)

-he is a fucking menace. and i mean it. most insane man on earth that always tries to grab others attention in the most dangerous and stupid ways imaginable. Also uses alcohol as his weapon to look and act more cool and always fails miserably. Hes also very noncommittal and always switches out the people that he talks to after a week, simply because he doesnt feel comfortable with anyone. But he still loves getting attention from others so he keeps getting into these relationships just to drop them later. Theres something different about Bianka and Gabriel though and thats why theyre friends. and I think his pinterest board explains his personality better than i ever will

and some fun facts! hes surprisingly good at cooking and is the only one in the group that knows how to drive a car.

if it comes to Bianka shes my favorite goth woman ever. Here is some info about her: -ENTJ, she/them, is around 17, listens to Siouxsie and the Banshees, Bauhaus, Sisters of Mercy, Myslovitz, Republika, Depeche Mode and The Cure.

-Obviously shes recognized mostly for her gothic makeup which I absolutely love drawing. And shes goth herself, and is even in a gothic punk band! The band members include her, as the bassist, Helena as the singer, Janek as the drummer and Antek used to play the keyboard before they kicked him out.

And this is how I imagine them:-) just two alt girls and just some guy. Love them

-Bianka is the most confident out of everyone in the group, even Antek who's all over the place. She knows when to stop talking unlike him though. However her being confident doesnt mean she likes being in the spotlight, in fact, she absolutely hates it. She hates that everyone is always listening to her and whenever she walks in the room all eyes are on her. So most of the times she just wants to hide and spends time in her little circle of friends, but if theres an emergency then shes the first one to intervene. She also has a very weird moral compass just like Helena so theyre best friends, obviously.

Literally her. A fun fact about her is that she has like four Siouxsie and the Banshees posters in her room and owns a golden retriver which I didnt name yet.

oh and i forgot to mention but Bianka has Chinese ancestors and has a lot of chinese facial features that I always fail to draw because I focus on her makeup too much.

The last one is Gabriel, miserable ginger guy whos also the main character of the plot and yet i know so little about him. Im still figuring out his personality honestly. Anyhow:

-ISFP, he/him, age 17, listens to Tame Impala, Gorillaz, The Strokes, MGMT, David Bowie, Dolly Parton and Depeche Mode. All three of them are Depeche Mode fans.

-As I mentioned I know very little about him. But I think hes more of watcher of the world around him than a member of it. He's mostly quiet because he cant figure out when its the best time to speak, unfortunately that also means he keeps his best jokes to himself. Hes also mostly dissociated from the world and tries to be an active member of it so bad that he always ends up doing stupid things or hurting himself in the process. I think its just safe to say hes still figuring out his place in the world, and because the world around him confuses him so much he holds onto safe memories most of the time. Thats why hes a photographer and likes catching all of the important moments of life on camera, its like a comforting feeling for him. Hes also very irrational and a people pleaser but i blame it on his undiagnosed AuDHD honestly.

questionable pinterest board explains his personality well too

-as hes the narrator of the story, its very important to mention hes a queer character. I avoided talking about the queernes of others characters on purpose, since its an important part of their story that i dont want to share yet but without any context ill just say that Gabriel is a trans man and bisexual!

as for fun facts he owns a cat named Felek, really likes green olives and lives with his grandparents. Antek also taught him how to drive a car but he never put that info in use.

AND HERE COMES MY FAVORITE PART!!!! ILL EXPLAIN THE DYNAMIC BETWEEN THEM ALL!!!

starting with Gabriel and Nastka, whom I didnt mention in this post as shes just a side character, its important to know that these two are childhood friends. Theyre not that close anymore, their relationship disappeared as time went on, but they both keep each other in their memories and think about each other a lot. They both nicknamed each other after Dead Poets Society characters too, so Nastka never calls Gabriel by his name, but Todd. Theyre also neighbours and share a balcony. Sometimes they meet there as theyre hanging up clothes to dry and just exchange smiles.

The relationship between Gabriel and Antek is more complicated. They met on a party once and never got to know each other better, but couldnt stop thinking about each other. Gabriel just knows about Antek from Bianka's stories and vice versa, and whenever they meet everyone thinks theyre best friends because of how well they can get along without even knowing a thing about themselves. They always end up dancing together on parties, going on walks at night and talking about their favorite books somewhere in the corner, having deep conversations about their views of life but they never ask each other personal questions and if you ask one of them to say whats their favorite color, they wouldnt know. I like to think the universe never gave them a chance to know each other better because if it did theyd be too powerful together. Maybe if they got to know each other better theyd be more than friends.

Bianka and Anteks relationship is pretty similar to the relationship between Gabriel and Nastka. Theyre also childhood best friends and first met each other in the counselors office in 6th grade as Bianka tried to beat someone up for being mean to Antek, a guy she didnt even know yet. She just needed an excuse to get in a fight with some boys that she didnt like and somehow made a best friend ten minutes later. Since then theyve been on and off, sometimes splitting up for months at a time and going back to each other to spill everything theyve learned while they were away. They always find support in each other even if they cant understand each other that well and are total opposites. Somehow Bianka always finds a way to cheer up Antek, even if shes the one to make him feel bad in the first place.

Antek was the first one to suggest they should make a band, and they tried several times until they ended up with Helena and Janek which I previously mentioned.

And the last one, Bianka and Gabriels dynamic..... its very cute actually. Bianka is the first person to show Gabriel the world around him and introduce him to new possibilities. She showed him goth dance moves and helped him find his taste in music. They met in high school as they sat together in math class and if not Bianka being confident and immediately accepting Gabriel as her friend, hed never speak to her. He probably still thinks shes too cool for him, but is very happy to have her as a friend anyway even if he feels belittled by her sometimes. Feeling belittled is why Gabriel usually doesnt speak to her first and waits until she does it first. They often do sleepovers where they watch all of their favorite movies for the tenth time.

Also they all have friendship bracelets. All three of them.

I dont know what else I could talk about so i think thats all!! Thats still such a long post I hope someone actually reads it. Thank you for asking about them I had so much fun writing this<3

I also purposefully avoided talking about the plot of Migawka because I want to keep it a secret. I really want to write a book or a comic one day with all three of the characters and so I wanna keep the plot to myself until I finish writing.

anyhow, heres migawkas pinterest board.

https://pin.it/7tFnFoH

#promised oc content finally #there is no way grzybjek talks about their ocs

[kingprinceleo]

BET YOU DIDN'T EXPECT ME SO SOON

I did the dessert vampires playlist first since it was the shortest!

Stampede- very good interplay with the characters. Gives the vibe of I respect you but we fundamentally disagree on some big issues. Would be fun to play in the background of like a joint operation scheme? like they've gone undercover at a fancy party and this is them working together during it

Vulture- this is such a Shadow backstory song like- i don't know exactly what happens with GUN and Maria in this au but THIS is the song you play to express his feelings. The first verse at least low-key also sounds like Knuckles during or immediately post transformation to Rouge. He's very angy

Welcome to the Circus- a jaunty little tune. bar/saloon coded, probably plays wherever Amy works i think?

Recommend songs for this playlist: Desperado by Rhianna and maybe the entire Anti album based on vibes alone.

Blood Like Lemonade- strong vibes

Trouble Valerie Broussard- more Rouge centric i think

For other playlists:

Like a Vampire Catrien Maxwell, for vamp au Sonic

A Little Wicked - im thinking of Rouge for it but if it fits a different character i wouldn't be surprised

Little Girl Gone Chinchilla - very vamp au Shadow coded imo

Eve Precious Pepala- Shadow coded

All up in your mind- feels like Shadow thinking about Sonic's effect on him in vamp au

Hope these are good and have a nice timezone 🫶🏽. I go to sleep now

~🩸🎵

welcome back fhbghbjfdfdg !!

This playlist is a little more tough to explain bc i havent shared the major plotpoint that changes the whole title of the au fjgfjghf, but ill get there eventually !! Stampede- idrk know how to explain this one beyond its just Them, their conflicts their compromises, how the two are trying to work together in the situation theyre in, big time agree on the respect with huge disagreements tho, thats one of their major sticking points Vulture- RAHHHHHHH THIS IS IS KNUCKLES @ SHADOW !!!!! the entire time its knuckles rage and defiance !!! and im slamming my head into a wall so fucking hard i prommy it makes so much sense when i share the plot Welcome to the circus- its a rouge @ knuckles song ! like i said the subject itself is kinda weak but it hits on some of their core dynamic pieces --- Desperado- this one i could see being very rouge @ shadow but its a bit too forward and honest ! rouge would defo more take the angle of "im following you bc ur hopeless without me <3" Blood Like Lemonade- strong vibes on its own but doesnt particularly fit with anyone at least right now, i might come back to it after fleshing more people out (also i am sadly biased against songs that are kinda slow sob. i need that constant stimulation music {i almost didnt include vulture in the playlist bc of its speed but it was just too accurate and picks up with some heavy hitting stuff near the end}) Trouble- very correct w the rouge part !! defo eying this one up in consideration

---

Like a Vampire- defo not vampire au sonic , it actually lines up more with desert vampires rouge (i adore the singers voice btw omg) idk if its going in any of the au playlists but it sure is going in mine ! dfhhdfhg A little wicked- shrug tbh ! i see it for rouge but it feels like its missing something, her spunk, her 4kids saxaphone (im assuming if you dont specify an au you just mean for the canon gamers !) Little Girl Gone- THIS IS SO VAMPIRE AU SHADOWCORE LITTLE UNHINGED BASTARD !!! the blood on my teeth line caught my attention....and then the screaming part sold me HDSHDHF hes sooo silly <333

Eve- im so sorry im really biased against love songs so i dont see it personally !! esp not for shadow </3 All up in your mind- eeh there are a few lines there that work, but overall just misses slightly. big fan of the idea that shadows just making up all those lines tho and sonics never said any of it, thats funny fdgjfjdgfg i feel bad for not enjoying all of them wahh, but i am just really picky tbh,,, its gotta bounce the braincell right... but i appreciate the suggestions sm!!!! tyyy!! have a good sleep !!!

#my asks #music tag #long post

[sunnysideoflondon]

can i just say i love the demoni album (by joker out)?? every song literally goes so hard even the one i'd rank last if i had to is really goddamn good. i also like how the album contrasts with umazane misli (the album not the song) as its sort of about falling in love whilst demoni is like falling out of love? i haven't listened to the majority of umazane misli so im sorry if im wrong lmfao anyway. i had a thought that was like "the track order is usually on purpose right?" so that prompted me to make a summary of the contents of each song and i was like wait. this is a storyline. sorry again if these summaries are not fully correct i made them with one braincell and i dont have the energy to look up the lyrics again haha ok so katrina is like just post-breakup. "why do you keep on playing me. do you love me or not? i need you and hate you at the same time". ne bi smel is like "im sorry this was all my fault but i didnt have any other choice. i want you back but i know i betrayed you. it's my fault. im sorry". plastika is sort of like a side thing possibly its about hating how you look and having surgery to look perfect and beautiful. "it doesn't matter about anything else, im perfect now". i think this song has a deeper meaning that would fit more cleanly into the storyline of the other songs but im not big brained enough to figure out how exactly if i figure out ill update this. now, massive whiplash as we jump into demoni which is like "i need you here. when im not here my demons play with me" (idk how to better explain it besides just drawing from the og lyrics hah) important to note that this song is the title track. padam is like "i should've believed them instead of going through with us. someone help me. please. where is everyone?" vse kar vem is like "everything ends eventually, you just didn't need me anymore". ona is like "you never cared. but i care so much. so so much". tokio is like "we're not gonna see each other again. only photos will know we were together". note the more peaceful music as opposed to the deeply upset vibe of the others. kind of ironic how ngvot is like "ah, so we meet again. we've both changed albeit differently. we don't talk about it anymore though!" note the incredibly happy music of the song it's so incredibly jarring hearing them repeat "we dont talk about it anymore" with this happy ass music lmfao lastly novi val is like really abstract and could really mean a lot of things. i take it as a general message but it could really be anything. also note that it makes me want to cry so bad. one day im gonna bawl my eyes out because of that goddamn song agh OKAY UM OKAY. so basically the whole album is about a slow acceptance of the breakup but still feeling bitter about it at the end. i think. however this mystery person (probably called katrina) that the singer broke up with could've been anything tbh. you can interpret this really broadly and i think that's why i like the album so much too. it doesnt have to just be about events and feelings post-breakup but also just things in a general sense. so you can find solace in the album regardless of what your situation is. i think thats pretty neat.

or maybe im just overthinking it haha :D

#mine #oops my hand slipped #but if you couldnt tell im a big demoni (album) fan :) #also wishing i could put this in the joker out tag but i am too scared :( #shit why is this so long LMFAO

[tolerateit]

hi, different anon, could you elaborate how this album puts a different light on renegade? because i kinda get what you mean, but also i'm not able to entirely articulate it lol. i would just like to hear your perspective on that.

i also agree with the thing about so long london seeming so touching and still not so good in certain lyrics. i like this album but it does seem a bit like some lyrics are there for shock value more than anything deeper

prefacing this by saying that being in a relationship where your partner (and/or you too) is struggling with a mental illness is not a piece of cake and quitting the relationship because it was taking a toll on your own well-being is a perfectly valid reason that doesn't necessarily make you a bad person

now, the thing with renegade that I can't ignore now is the singer's insistence that her partner "gets their shit together so she can love them", which in hindsight I interpret as trying to heal from their mental illness, or want to try for recovery, and yes of course this is a sentiment most loved ones express when they're worried about you it also feels very conditional. "and if I would've known how many pieces you had crumbled into, I might have let them lay" -> I can't help but imagine how this would break my heart if I was on the receiving end of this line. And it's directly continued with so long London -> I stopped cpr after all it's no use/how much sad did you think I had in me/and im pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free -> almost as if supporting your partner through a difficult time was just a waste of your time and youth instead of a meaningful experience. (I love aaron's production which the sole reason why I still play it, because the lyrics don't hit hard and sound meh in some places)

Honestly, maybe I'm a little too sensitive about these lines and I'm probably misinterpreting some of the sentiments she's expressed in these songs. But that's how I am feeling about most of ttpd at the moment, and all I hope is that the fandom will find a little more kindness in their hearts towards people with mental illnesses because some of the opinions I've seen on here are disheartening and frankly, disturbing. Sorry if I think it is insensitive for you to say "get your shit together so I can love you" ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#you ask for the tab* #Hooo boy a little scared about posting this lol

[canneddolts]

hello

i need to talk abt my stupid playlist

ignore that its youtube i dont like spotify. its songs that remind me of the half lifers so not really a character playlist but i have Reasons that id like to expadn on (under the cut its so long)

goinog from bottom to top oldest to newest (ill probably edit this later on..muhahaha) (PS every barney here is blue shift exclusive idk a thing abt hl2 guy...)

more than a feeling: i found my first ever boston song on guitar hero arcade and i feel like gordon would be rly into guitar hero. this is repeated many times. also it j reminds me of them

dont you forget abt me: ok im starting to kinda hate this song but it was the original them song too......i forgot why (it was also in one of my gmods i think)

take a chance on me: i posted this stupid barney image to this song & it stuck so much also PLEASE banrey JUST ONE CHANCE GIVE M

ok next 3 (true & the sun always shines on tv & i want to know what love is) theyre all just them songs too.....i posted them to those songs too when i was Just Getting Into Halflifing and idk

OH ALSO ALSO the sun shines on tv reminds me of the truman show & i saw a lot of parallels btwn him and gordons whole Thing so therefore. gordon song. ALSO I LOVE THIS MOVIE SO BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! UUUGHGHHHHH its so pretty and so good and such a good story and AARGH

mud on the tires: dont look at m

italian medley: I HAVE NO IDEA!!!!!????!?

cant fight this feeling: i heard it on the radio during driving lessons while i was at the Point where everything reminded me of barney. so..i could do some deep analysis (same w half this playlist but i feel silly doing so)

bulls on parade: bwaowo ptch waowao THE MICROPHONE EXPLODE (i had a video idea w gordon) (ALSO another guitar hero song for mr freeman)

owner of a lonely heart: they are losers

call me: guh. i like this song

ogrodu serce: again.....i heard it on the radio in my barney stage. i also hc'd him with a super thick southern polish accent for a while (?) i was gonna put oczy zielone bc Ha! Gordon freeman green eyes but i dont like that song

007 WOAH why were the numbers so big??!!!: i really haveno idea....something something security guard

somebodys watching me: THAT ONE FUCKING HALF LIFE FANART ILL REBLOG IT AGAINAGAINAGAINAGAIN AFTER THIS POST I LOVE IT SO BAD!!!!!!! its so good and so ppgpfhddbdhbbhjbhjbhjvbhjdbhjbhj AAAAGH i like thsi song too but its always gonna remind me of mr freeman

unwritten: dude Idk. barney though

arthur intro idk: the video w gman singing it to alyx....so real so true idk much abt her but im getting hl2 from the library soon MUUAAAAHAHAHAHAAAA (this is one of the half life specific songs)

just the way you are: hey you guys remember the video of barney;s va as the gecko singing dont goooo changinnnah. its also a gordon song bc it was in my gordon stasis gmod vid

the picard video: barney has a star wars voiceline ("Have you seen the new IG-88?" (the droid)) and i think hed like sci fi in general....idk anything abt either franchises though spare me

out of touch: i had a vision of them luckystar dancing to this song while eating cereal

lay all your love on me: i like this song & barney is very abba fan to me

even the nights are better: again again...i heard it on the radio

waiting for tonight: this video of the american idol gba game was stuck in my head for days & i feel like barney would be a bad singer. his voice acter is super good at singing cough go to mike shapiro soundcloud NOW cough so i think the opposite would be funny

escape (the pina colada song): barney.. if you like pina coladaaas

baby come back: uuurrggggh gordon freeman 20 year stasis uuurrrr

cheri cheri lady: another gman singing this video also i like this song!!!!!

the sign: real

#my stuff #no main tags...nobody shall see this

[elvencantation]

everything everywhere all at once liveblog

okay i know she’s supposed to be evil and shit but JOY IS SO DAMN COOL AND HOT AND WOW. GODAMN

i love that she’s just straight up discovering weird ass new universes. rly don’t like the hot dogs for fingers tho everything on a bagel?? are you kidding me?

evil joy is too hot and that’s really not fair

the bagel cgi is cool too

poor this universe joy. yeah she’s not gonna be able to stab her is she

OMG YES RAPID JUMPS

WAIT THE GRANDAD IS NOW SENDING PEOPLE AFTER HER

juju chewbacca 😂

glad she’s having this convo with joy but shit

OMG THE BLIND JUMP AND THE SINGER FOR LUNG CAPACITY YES

GOD I LOVE HOW SHES COMBINING THESE RANDOM ASS SKILLS

WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS THIS LADY USING HER DOG AS A FUCKING BOLA?? not the right term but i cant remember it rn

is joy the key to defeating alpha joy?

god that would be so lovely if healing her relationship with joy in this horrible universe helped solve the problem

i love that her world saving skill in this case is thinking of weird ass random shit. i could probably do that. wouldn’t look as cute tho 😂

i hate this butt joke like. cant you take it out pls? for me personally cause it’s apparently a squick? thank you

NO NOT LIKE THAT

wait so they can only access the skills as long as they’re connected to that universe? how’d she combine them all with the shield fight then? or was it cause she fractured

oh no oh no she’s gonna kill alpha waymond fuck fuck FUCK

what is HAPPENING

is she stuck in another evelyn?

oh no the secondhand embarrassment of her messing up other universes

wait did she go back??

BRING ME BACK TO WUXIA UNIVERSE I LIKE THE OUTFITS

omg the creativity of putting them in her drawing??? HER MIND

oh it’s the weird white universe again

“the bagel will show you the true nature of things” GOD HOW DID SHE SAY THAT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE. ACTING

it’s probably a testament to the writing and acting that i actually kinda feel bad for hot dog Deirdre

also i know it’s bad that she’s fucking everything up but it’s such a cool sequence and joy’s face is fascinating to watch

okay now i wanna slow down that clip and see all the other universes!!!

if i was a rock would you still love me?

hmmm i’m a bit sad i didn’t hear their voices but i get the point

this is making me feel shrimp feelings. also i think i’m getting a headache. that’s probably just cause of not really having dinner and being on a plane 😂

YES YES WAYMOND IS GONNA BRING HER BACK I KNEW IT

oh no i forgot she stabbed him in the og universe fuck im gonna cry. and he’s still defending her

FUCK ITS NOT YOUR FAULT. YOURE THE ONE WHOS GONNA FIX IT

THIS WAYMOND BETTER SURVIVE OR ILL FUCKING RIOT

oh no she’s gonna kill waymond isn’t she. please don’t

WAIT WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED

why is the bagel here? and where did it go?

YES HUG DEIRDRE. ALL THE HUGS
god every moment i’m afraid of totally devastating tragedy. see what cdramas done to me??

YES PUT UR HUSBANDS GOOGLY EYE ON UR FOREHEAD DO IT

yess be the chaotic good to her chaotic evil!!

THERE ARE NO RULES. IM GONNA GET YOU. OMG THATS SO CUTE HELP

“i’m learning to fight like you” god now i’m gonna cry again

this is all so ridiculous i can’t. i love it. she’s finding these things from their lives- the things that make them who they are. what is in common in most if not all of the universes. this is really similar to my own concept of self god i love it i cant

oh god she’s racacoonie

don’t let her go

oh god it’s all between the three of them isn’t it. fuck

god the music is all so good and so eerie

holy SHIT THE ‘I AM YOUR MOTHER’ TIMED WITH THE SWITCHES AND MUSIC

wait WHAT. PLEASE TELL ME THE BAGEL LIKE SECRETLY UNDOES THE JUMP STUFF

god joy don’t cry i’ll just be crying with you and that won’t help my headache

god becky is so sweet help i cant. her smile!!!! fuck

oh god for some reason then hugging as two planets collide absolutely fucking ended me

yes yes yes. the other side of nothing matter is why not do the things that make your life and others lives better? why not be the one thing that matters to that person?

BECKY. IS. SO. FUCKING. PRECIOUS. as is waymond obvi

wait the end confused me. but i do like that she didn’t just pretend that she heard. oh like it’s gonna still be there in her metaphorical peripheral vision?

okay so watching prince of egypt wasn’t the best idea if i wanted not to cry again. time for my all time favorite- jupiter ascending

#everything everywhere all at once #michelle yeoh #blue watches #goddamn #what a movie #eeaao spoilers #eeaao #eeaao liveblog #eeaao reaction

[endlesskats]

what is life...

I don't want to live anymore, there is nothing left for me anymore. everything I do is wrong everything I say is embarrassing, I hate the way that I look and the way that I speak, I hate that I suck at speaking I hate that I have to set an example to my sister, that no matter what she does I have to be the better person, if she scratches I got to stay calm and just tell her to stop, and to keep saying stop even if she doesn't stop, and if i tell my mom she doesn't even do much.

I can't help but feel depressed knowing I'll never have a father in my life anymore, that I won't get to have a daddy daughter dance, that he won't walk me down the island, that maybe just maybe if I picked up that call he would be alive, or maybe that I wouldn't have to constantly fear not picking up a call.

I feel like i ruin everyone's life, I don't think anybody needs me here that maybe its just better than I just jump off a cliff. hopefully I get a car for my 16th birthday so I can drive off a cliff since jumping is too scary, I tried to make a bunch of friends hoping they could be a reason that I should live for but none of them are, my only hope is love but nobody loves me, and also the fact that my types are just toxic people...like yanderes (I know their not really real but just the fact that someone would like me that much) or maybe sadistic people cuz their just kind of rjfhfeidwskjh, or just poor guy that's nice with kids <3 or guys in general honestly its whatever but one time I thought to myself while watching a kdrama called happiness battle or battle for happiness, there was this girl that wouldn't divorce her husband even though he cheated her and stole from her, and I thought 'oh m gee she is so strong I should probably be strong like that and that if he doesn't get her pregnant or nothin I don't care about his infidelity yk because is it really worth divorcing this guy that I spent a year or more with??' but i know i would cry if i got cheated on, this whole thing doesn't make sense ngl I might pass out from heat from crying so hard,

and it doesn't help that I sound like im a smoker, i hate the fact that I spent so long talking about how I was such a good singer for some reason just to find out my voice is so cracky, I dreamt of being a voice actor for so long just for those dreams to be crushed.

my mind is all wrong, nothing good will ever come out of it this account was supposed to be where i would share my art but my art sucks and I'm too shy to post bad art to ask for improvements so ig ill just write a bunch of random ahh posts

also btw does anyone know how to not be driven to eat something?

I'm tryna fast but I can't I used to fast for weeks at a time but its so hard now

#tw depressing thoughts #sorry for being depressing #life suuuuucks

[falsebooles123]

Confessions of a Recovering Genre-Phobic 02/04/2024

Hey Whores;

God what is this week? Well work has fucking sucked. People calling in sick, one of the refrigerators going down. Also one of my favorite work friends has left the chat to go on to green pastures and I just need to get out of there and move on with my life right?

In terms of love IDFK right? Ok here me out why bitches got to take so long to text you back and I get that its probably me just being triggered and having filters or some shit but also bitch. Treat me like a king. act like you want to be with me or some shit. I think its a lot were when people don't text me back its cause they have a life and our doing things and I distract myself with dumb shit because I hav eno goddamn friends. Anyway thanks for reading this prime example.

IDFK. Thanks for listening here are my dumb bitch thoughts on music and also Lelslie Hall has 5 albums and its homophobic you never told me...................................emrwopirjaksdlfjasklfjasdlk;fjasdlkf.

Footnotes For the Spring (2015) - Eliza Rickman

Genre: Folk, Baroque Pop? Length: 43:15 (11 Tracks)

Ok gurl I'm bad at describing genres Eliza Rickman is somewhere between Florence Welch and the Unwoman. She's what evermore Taylor wishes to be. Just imagine a feyish women in a white chiffon gown in a field of daisys singing baleful songs that are maybe sexual???

I don't have a lot to say about this album. If you like Eliza Rickman your gonna like this. She has a certain sound and I love it because I love beautiful esoteric women.

3.5/5 (I'm starting to feel like my number ratings don't mean shit.)

Too Young To Be Sad (2021) EP - Tate McRae

Genre: Pop, R&B? Length: 17:32 (6 Tracks)

All The Things I Never Said (2020) EP - Tate McRae

Genre: Pop, R&B? Length: 15:00 (5 Tracks)

Ok I think I was confusion Addison Rae with Olivia Rodriguez. and then confusing her with Tate McRae. I'm really sorry pop girlies.

When I first heard Tate McRae I was up at a ridicoulas hour in december and felt like I should be hip with THEE YOUTHSSSSS.

I vagualy remember her as a bedroom pop girly singing these sad piano ballads and honestly did I jsut mix her up with another singer. Cause like I distinctly remember her doing like sad piano ballads and this ain't it. Which is a great thing because I actually kinda love this.

Like lets be real this is pretty standard what I think R&B is. WHich gurl how did I forget a complete genre of music. and you know what im ok with this being a bit generic because I don't know the genre and I'm vibing.

Ill have to check out her full albums and sorry for the shit I was talking earlier.

4/5 for both EPs.

Hot Buttered Soul (1969) - Isaac Hayes

Genre: Soul Length: 45:24 (4 Tracks)

Ok so apparently this is a seminal album in the Soul Genre. Which ok. I'm sure it is but I feel like I'm do much of a dummy to get it.

IDK bitch you know what soul music sounds like? well good this has a 20 minutes Track in it so do with that information what you will.

2/5

Home Vol. 1 EP (2012) - JohnnySwim

Genre: Folk Length: 18:48 (5 Tracks)

I don't have much to say about this album. Have you heard any 2010s folk music? This is it. We have beautiful voices. Clapping, and stories of love and heartbreak. I mean what more do you want babygirl?

3/5

Ambient 1: Music for Airports (1978) - Brian Eno

Genre: Ambient Length: 42:20 (4 Tracks)

So I don't actually know if I ever finished this album.

Mostly because this album was meant as an instullation piece where it would be looped ad naseum but suffice to say.

BItch do you know what Ambient Music is? Its like music thats more about a calm and chill tone then it is about being energetic or attention grabbing. Its music thats designed to be ignored. The elegance of design.

This is fantastic. Sexisest Airport Music I would stick in my gob anytime.

4/5

Uptown Special (2015) - Mark Ronson

Genre: Funk, R&B Length: 38:50 (11 Tracks)

Uptown Special is probably most known by the layman for being the album that made Uptown Funk which is ft. Bruno Mars. I was already under the impression that it was the other way around. So I have learned and so have you.

I don't have much to say about this album. Think about funk music. Now imagine is someone made a really solid funk album with a bunch of fantastic guest artist including Stevie Wonder??? Thats crazy.

If anything Uptown Funk is one of the weakest song on this tracklist definetly worth a listen.

4/5

Cool Patrol (2018) - Ninja Sex Party

Genre: Comedy Rock? (thats what it says on Wikipedia will get into it) Length: 37:28 (15 Tracks)

OK did I like? Ninja Sex Party or was I just kinda horny for the vast majority of 2010s LP's. (I don't think I'm gay for Markiplier.... but)

So Ryen? What the fuck is Ninja Sex Party. ok. So its the 2010s, youtuber is full of comedic music videos and a star is born somewhere in the conceptional space adjacent to acts like LMFAO and Wierd Al. NSP is a comedic music duo consisting of Danny SexBang who is that guy in the spandex and Ninja Brian who is the mall ninja guy. SexBang likes to fuck and Brian likes to murder people a lot.

Most of the songs are these comedic sex jokes filled with dick puns and the music style is very 80s glam rock or power ballad. There not wrong when you call it comedic rock but its very limiting. Its very much a parody of those kinda corny 80s love ballads but NSP also dips there toes in Space Opera, comedic skits and so on and so forth. There pretty fun. If your a fan of like Leslie Hall or Key of Awesome or any other 2000s - 2010s comedic music artist then youd get a kick out of them.

This is pretty fun. Its like a dirty weird al yankovic album. Its not that deep fan.

3/5

#Diary #Music #Footnotes for the Spring #Too Young To Be Sad #All The Things I Never Said #Hot Buttered Soul #Home Vol 1 #Ambient 1 #uptown special

[namuneulbo]

week sixty-four

this week. woah. it was......... a lot.

well, to start off... i have a crush on v. i figured this out on monday and since then its gotten so severe lol. monday to friday was spent thinking ab him and also apparently not hiding it very well from l. ill come back to this later but this entire chapter will for sure be ab him and also in sm detail.

ive kind of talked a lot ab him and just my “new friends” in general a lot w l and my mom. i think my mom even has suspicions that i like either d or v (bc i talk ab them the most prob).

i started spamming n, s and t and also i, m and t ab him. i wont be able to cover what i told them all individually but n def received the most detailed info yet only one pic (WHICH WAS A HORRIBLY EMBARRASSING ONE I TOOK ON BEREAL WHEN IT CUT EVERYONE OUT AND THEIR POSES SO IT WAS JUST HIM NOT POSING AAAAA I FEEL LIKE A MOM WHO TAKES PICS OF HER KIDS WO CONSENT TT). i talked A LOT w s ab him too and w t i just spammed quickly on monday/tuesday i think, i cant bother checking. when i told i, m and t they immediately asked for a pic and i was scared theyd bully me lol but they said hes solid WOO! s approved of him too, saying the nail polish and his guitar made him seem very much like my type.

ill give u all who might be reading this a lil description of his pros. i would say a reminder to future me as well but yk maybe we end up together so :* heres what weve got so far:

- hes taller than me.

- has a niiiiiice voice.

- nice sense of style. its like basic as in plain colors (pretty much only black, hell wear white sweaters or super dark colors). it looks so good.

- hes a metalhead (+ we have two bands in common, ghost and polyphia).

- piercingssss!

- hes so talented, like he can play guitar, drums AND piano flawlessly.

- hes funny.

now to his cons: he’s not fully single. so. um. idk if theyre dating or in a situationship or just talking but its something for sureeee.

i dont ever want to like, break them up on purpose or like make moves on him while theyre talking bc im not a fucking douchebag. it is quite sad seeing them together though. i cant help but dislike the girl hes w a bit even though i dont want to, shes really cool and gorgeous and nice im just so O_o

on wednesday we had band class and i was MESMERIZED. he had a concert that same day so he was dressed up in a navy button-up, black jeans cuffed over a black pair of chelsea boots. i had to leave a couple times during practice bc i had to practice harmonies w the singers and i remember literally feeling sad ab not being able to stare at him playing the piano so perfectly.

in the evening i went out to the bar for the weekly music quiz they do. i went w a, c and v at first but later on d and p joined (not dan and phil sadly). i was super awkward lol but it was my first time hanging out w just them and it felt so,,,, new to me. im glad i did it though, ig? i got to see him even if it was awkward. also, i think d has my old backpack that i left to a thrift shop. its a floral pattern w black faux leather details and gold buttons. its quite cute and it fits him really well.

i did eventually warm up a bit but nothing crazy.

i was already comfy around c but after wednesday, i was also comfy around d. he was so nice that i even questioned if i liked him as well but turns out i was probably really desperate TT i tend to never be interested in ANYONE when i like someone and thats really obvious now. even though my chances w v r low, i still deleted all my dating apps and stuff bc i dont have the desire to go on them as of rn.

on friday i had been CRAVING a party to go to all day. i was just waiting for someone to send a message saying “yo, party at vs place!”. we usually party at his place. i literally ranted to my mom ab how bad i was hoping for someone to throw a party and this wasnt even just bc of getting to see v but i was genuinely so socially starved. finally, around 19:30 id say, someone sends a message in the class gc telling everyone ab a party at his place. i immediately message l begging for them to come w me and even saying if they dont, ill go either way bc i want to go so bad. they end up declining and i go to the party myself. i get ready in a few minutes, just fixing my day-old makeup and eating and drinking water and stuff so i wont throw up the second i drink alcohol. i was so quick and i was walking w such speed around the house so i think my mom has probably started to connect the dots now that theres someone i like bc im never that excited ever. i leave along w my mom who took the dog out for a walk. since v lives so nearby she walked w me pretty much the entire way.

id never usually be this confident but i had been talking w s the entire day and she hyped me up SO much. i actually love her sm for that. i arrive there, v throws down his keys from the balcony, i catch them and go up to his apartment. i was a tad bit quiet in the beginning but i really tried to force myself to just relax and look cool and i did after a little while. we blasted metal and one of the first things they did was that everyone of them, c, d and v, went out for a smoke so i joined in even though i dont smoke but i enjoyed the lil passive smoking sesh on the tiny balcony, stuck behind d and v.

(bereal just went off, vs so cute).

anyways, i quite quickly felt more relaxed, i kinda forced myself to sit more,, relaxed and stop fidgeting and i got more included in the convo by queueing songs to play. i first asked v to queue kingslayer by bmth and babymetal and he was super excited ab it so i was so glad he liked it. we listened to it on a party a whileeee ago and i remember being so excited ab the fact that he liked that song too. a had arrived by now and hes v good to have there in that sense that he will make me join in the convo somehow if i havent talked in a while. he made me queue another song and i queued drowning lessons by mcr. i was so caught by surprise and i always get so shit at using tech shit and the internet in front of ppl, idk why, so v started guiding me on what buttons to press TT i hadnt thought of drowning lessons in the first place actually but i just kind of naturally went w mcr for some reason and then ended up choosing my fav song by them. we listened to it and v was like “DID HE JUST VOICE BREAK???” and i was like “oh, maybe? i mean its their first album so the mixing and recording might be a bit shit” and he replayed the part and was like “THERE IS A VOICE BREAK!” and c started explaining to him in distress that its just how u sing punk TT after a while v was like “its still going? how long is it?” and checked and it was right before the outro and i was like “waittt, we havent gotten to the best part yet!” and he leaves it and the breakdown comes and he does a stankface and just looks at me like “oh, a breakdown ending, hell yeah!” and i was so happy haha

last song i queue is taking you out by passcode. as i was typing it v read out what i was typing and kept guessing songs, heh, it was so cute. he asked me ab the band and stuff and then said like “oh, she growls really well for a woman” and the proceeds to elaborate in distress that he didnt mean it in a misogynistic women-cant-growl type of way but in a its-genuinely-harder-for-a-woman-to-do-metal-growls. it was quite cute, he tends to do that a lot, like overexplaining things so ppl dont think hes being a dickhead even though he says very normal things TT its so cute and it really shows that he cares.

i mentioned that i was ab to start learning growling w my vocal teacher and how she also said she wants to get the singer of finntroll to come and teach growling to me (WHICH IS SO COOL???). v was like “oh my god, im also ab to practice growling w my vocal teacher” and then when i told him ab the singer of finntroll thing he got so excited and just “what??? for real??? thats so cool???” and proceeds to be like “omg, when ur w him tell him uve got a friend who wants to have a lesson w him too” and c joins in and says the same. i felt so cool in that moment haha

me, c and d went out to go meet the ppl from school who had been touring all week. before we left i went to pee and literally on the toilet i was smiling sm bc i felt so comfy and happy and all that in that moment like, i was talking to him??? and he was talking back???? and he smiled???? he wanted to talk to me????? i did a lil happy jump sesh after i washed my hands. then otw to school, me, c and d were jumping around and running and yelling. them bc they were drunk, me bc i was so excited abt finally feeling comfy w them + obviously getting to talk to v successfully after crushing so hard on him the past week. i was so happy too bc i finally felt like i kind of belong. i felt for the first time true that like “oh my god, they dont hate me!”. so while meeting the ppl at school i was sooooo happy and like greeting everyone and just smiling and feeling so cool and included and aaaaaaa i was so happy i cant even explain it. c and d r the coolest ppl ever!!!

we went back w s + we left d behind for a bit, sorry d!! now this was when i was truly connecting the dots between s and v. partypooper. i did tag along to the bar w all of them afterwards though. i just went by my place to eat something and get my id.

i arrived to the bar and i sat down next to c at first but later moved next to d so i could sit on the couch. me and c went to buy drinks and then d left to go smoke. there was an awkward space between me and v so i tried to subtly move closer to him and later when d came back he just sat in the spot i sat earlier so i sat between him and v.

more ppl arrived and i ended up becoming squished between d and v. NOW THIS. this changed me as a whole human being. i have been terrified of men all my life and w not specific reason bc the thing is that its not rooted in like, being scared that theyll do something, i just genuinely get more tense around men than women. this moment was so, special to me and not just bc i was squished next to v and our arms and legs were in constant touch but like, i got this kind of realization that, maybe i dont need to be nervous. like, theres nothing to worry ab. i trust d and v. theyre really nice. d i was already comfy w since wednesday and v i just that evening got comfy w. although i am touch deprived i really just,,, felt so happy, safe and relaxed in a group if people, in the middle of two men. i didnt feel the need to fidget out of nervousness and stuff. i was just, calm.

v looks over at me and asks me how drunk im planning to get. he himself says he wants to be so drunk he throws up. i jokingly reply saying i dont want to throw up. he starts showing me a scale w his hands, going down from ten and giving each level its own name so like “this is throw up drunk, this is like this and this is that...” and i end up saying i wanna get slighty above drunk and hes just like “so like a six?” and i nod. he says something along the lines of “thats cool, thats solid”.

later a girl sits next to d and begins talking w her. he starts whispering w v over my lap and i just sit there laughing awkwardly, hoping someone would notice and laugh w me as well. they dont talk for too long but they do this again later and talk for like two minutes straight over my lap and i just use this time to admire vs back and his ear piercings. d apologises and i chuckle and tell him its fine and that i didnt mind (i really did not bc i am truly so touch-starved). d later tells me ab this girl and bc of the music he has to really be close to my ear and talk w me. we talk like that for a while and he says hes glad i understand his situation. long story short, this girl had apparently been trying to flirt w him even though he has a girlfriend. i think he handled the situation really well.

v once again looks over at me, this time as were both kind of resting against the booth, bodies facing each other. he just asked how i was feeling today but it felt so intimate and i was savoring the conversation and eye contact as much as i could. i told him that i was really craving social interaction today so i was really glad i could tag along w them. he acted a bit funnily so i asked him how drunk he was. he said he feels a bit sick. idk why but that convo was so :’) i am TREASURING it.

him and s decided to leave, making almost everyone else leave. i stayed for a bit w a and c and some other unknown ppl but decided to leave after a bit. while me, a and c went out when they went to smoke i saw a bunch of ppl from both elementary and middle school. d, l, n and t. i was kind of hoping one of them wouldve noticed me earlier while i was w v and all the others so they could be like “omg shes sitting next to two guys, i wonder if shes dating anyone of them” or like “omg she has such cool friends now”.

okay, thats all on friday. saturday however, i met up w l for a bit, i tell them ab my crush on v. i sit them down, hold their hands and keep eye contact.

“so on wednesday we had a conversation on tiktok and i talked ab how boy obsessed i am feeling these days, right?”

they continue looking at me, asking me if this is ab e. i dont tell them yet.

“so after i said that, u said ‘well as long as its not d or v bc ik theyre the only friends we have but i assure u there r better alternatives’”

they begin staring at me in shock and yell:

“l! not them, omg! which one is it- no, wait. let me guess... d?”

i look at them for a bit before replying: “its not d.”

“ITS V? L, NO U CANT!” and they kick me as im laughing so hard im falling of the bed.

“IT IS! i have a fucking crush on v!”

we talk ab this for a while and i tell them ab friday and all that and it was sm fun lol

after me and l ahd hung out i went out to a proper party held at school. like dancing-beer-pong-bar kind of party. i met d and some others outside of the enterance and say hi. i then go inside and immediately meet c and c. they bring me to the dance floor and shows me where all the drinks r and everything. i see v playing beer pong. i dont like dancing at all so i join for a bit but leave soon enough. i sit and talk w a for a while. when v sat down on the same couch i was in i told a who was sitting on the other side that she could sit down on the couch properly instead of just sitting on the armrest and so she did and my evil plan worked, i got to move even closer to v. after a while it was finally our turn to play beer pong, we played w just water though. it was my first time playing and i was in the same team as a. she was so good? we played again v and two others. it was so humilating to play against v but my team won thanks to a. she was really awesome. during our last cup, v tried distracting me by hovering his hands over the cup but it literallyt made me aim better bc i could look at his hands TT he only distracted me w his hands and never a.

i left after s arrived to the party bc i got so sad seeing her w v lol but i was overwhelmed by the party anyways lol

sotw: bring me the horizon - alligator blood

#diary #tumblr diary #namuneulbo

[limelade]

 /gonna asssign every song on good news for people who like bad news sorry for being cringe </3

horn intro is literally just a horn intro it goes on for like 8 seconds and then ends its not a song. ill give it to uh box ig lol

world at large is suitcasecore. sorry. i like the lyrics

i know that starting over’s not what life’s about / my thoughts were so loud i couldnt hear my mouth

and also the uh. lots of bugs and stuff and sillys. and the tone of the whole thing. it is a nice song <3 the most mellow one on the list

float on is lightbulbcore its the most popular modest mouse song by far and its just very lightbulb core

it is funny silly. bout how bad things will happen and you cannot stop them but you all float on alright <3 and it is the prequel to lampshades on fire which is on another album but also lightbulb coded.. but for angstier reasons yum

OCEAN BREATHES salty is like my second favorite song on this album. and it is so marshmallow coded

your body may be gone im gonna carry it in / in my head, in my heart, in my soul

. then it goes onto nihilism. and the uh line “you get away from me” has two meanings in which one of the meanings is the singer pushing the dead person away from them and the other meaning is the singer not understanding why they did those things and. yipee marshcoded sorry. 

dig your grave is like a guitar and then 4 lines whispered 

. its a little bit mephone4 . its a precursor to the next song and that one is so mephone4

bury me with it is mephone4 coded. hehe . his themes in season 3 of refusing to let go

well the suit got tight and it split at the seams / but i kept it out of habit and i kept it real clean / but if its getting faded if its running out of thread / could you do this for me my friend? then it goes onto the chorus which is the title of the song <3. and its a fun song . mid song but its stil l got the

Dance hall

half the lyrics are im gonna dance all dance all every day and the other half are illusions to unhealthy coping mechanisms so i think i can give this one to lightbulb safely <3

bukowski <3 is my favorite song on this album and its about comparing the struggles over everyday people to god/authorities nd basically saying that authority figures  gotta be just as shitty as everyone else if theyre all created in his image. and its 

if god controls the land and disease / and keeps a watchful eye on me / if hes even so high and mighty / then my problems that i cant see / god, who'd wanna be such a control freak

religious and father symbolism in a lot of it. mephone4 again

anyways thats the last mephone4 song. the next song is That Devil's workday and its about NIHILISM but in the opposite direction of ocean breathes salty! if the shitty things you do barely matter then you keep on doing em! and thats taco! singer thinks they are beyond redeption and therefore doubles down on the shit they do! tacocore

The view is next and its pickle.

:) and i adore this song for its reoccurring theme of betrayal and hoping the Worst for the person who did . despite missing them and yipee

satin in a coffin is fun.

same theme of revenge but angrier and far less forlorn and. thumbs up emoji sorry. cant describe it this album has too many songs

Interlude (Milo) has no words. moving on

blame it on the tetons is softer and its also about blaming your personal apathy and emotional disengagement because all your attempts seem fruitless and i think thats </3 blueberry season 3 episode 10 sorrryyyy. she does blame it on the tetons.

black cadillacs is SO SUITCASE actually sorryy

alliance breakup arc core.

. actualky hold on im gonna obsess over this song all week i think dammit give me a bit to actually

One Chance

feels very paintbrushcoded :)

they care so much but they dont know how to go about Fixing things without hurting others in the process and they are fucking up. soo much and they decide its best to quit and. :)

The Good times are killing me

is aboht unhealthy coping mechanisms again and also the upbeat tune and the nihilism hidden under the bouncy guitar is just lightbulb coded. and also the lyrics is quite literally the Good Times are killing me. lightbulb song

#sorry. #for the

[dirt-grub]

ALSO can I just say first off soulful symphonies was great its right up there with hollow town for me but i absolutely adore the fact that like Wirt likes to sing? I could write paragraphs about it its really good 

#like. its a specific thing im having trouble articulating but like i GET IT #he's introverted and isn't really the stage type but he dreams about it anyway because its what he likes to do and he craves validation #he's just like. got an artistic temperament and sees beauty in things even if he's a pessimist a lot of the time??? #he just. does it because it comes naturally to him. he just likes to do it. it makes me happy idk #and like idk how i didnt realize it with the show i mean he has a song in it #he's just. yknow. shy. and doubts himself #idk idk like i feel like male characters his age dont have that trait a lot and its really personable #its either the obnoxious theater kid trope or Girl #and its always so like. not based in reality? they really make young characters who sing into these ethereal beings with heavenly voices #like think of any disney princess ever they all can sing and theyre all not really. people? theyre too picturesque yknow? #am i making sense? like in media its often just obnoxious glee shit or this person is godly bc they have a beautiful voice #and singing is only for the beautiful otherworldly people not the normal folk #idk maybe ive just seen a lot of bad musical characters but something about wirt just. liking to sing feels so genuine and charming #like of course greg does bc hes a little kid but theres something so poignant about wirt liking to sing too #like thats a character trait not just a kid thing #like. idk i hate when any type of art is put in the boxes of things kids do and things GODLY talented people do and no one else #music is ESPECIALLY one of those i still fall into bad thinking that either youre born a good singer or youre not #even if that was true it doesnt matter... art is not something to just behold and grovel before its something to participate in #am i getting too deep? probably ajdkjdkdjsd #just like. i have a lot of feelings about this and i dont see people saying it so even if i cant put it into good words ill say it anyway #also like not to say kin but uh kin #i am so fucking dramatic when no ones around are you kidding me i do the same exact shit #i just. i like the him. hes a really fully realized character with a gentle soul and i adore learning new things about him lol #also like his interactions in the comics are so interesting.. #it really goes in a lot of different places the show didnt have time to go in #you really learn a lot about him through context clues from greg especially #and like oh my god in hollow town there was so much good character interaction with the three #i know a lot of people ship beatrice and wirt but i really read them as having a sibling relationship ESPECIALLY in the comics #and its such an interesting dynamic bc they all have varying levels of agency especially in a magical world #greg doesnt have as much power in situations because hes young and little and beatrice is a bird so like yknow

[surpriserose]

Chris can u fancast how Hollywood would cast RGU

Jesus christ is this payback for boyfriends posting im sorry ill never do it again

God okay rgu has a pretty big cast and im gonna be ignoring some characters but only like people from the black rose arc sorry mikage and ljke all the minor characters </3 but still this is gonna be long and terrible and ouughhhh >:(

Okay first things first this is Hollywood this shit takes place in LA now and everyones been whitewashed to hell and back since im going the ghost in the shell slash death note light *TURNER* route im so sorry

Utena tenjou, now utena Turner (no relation to light) is gonna be fucking haliee steinfeld because oughhhh it causes me the most amount of pain and i honestly feel like you couldnt pay her to kiss another woman

Anthy himemiya, now called annie hemingway to not confuse american audiences, is played by priyanka Chopra because they remember anthy is indian but not that shes you know dark skinned

Touga kiryuu, now called tony kerrigan, has to be god whats that dude from to all the boys ive loved before? Noah centineo who is painfully miscast because no one understands touga who is now just genuinely utenas love interest probably

Nanami Kiryuu, now fuckinggggg ouuygghh nancy kerrigan or something, is played by jojo siwa who honestly could probably pull it off i believe in her but not with the script and director who probably make nanami unrecognizable. Because its jojo siwa she gets some new original character to have a blink and you miss it gay kiss with

Saionji kyouichi, now god fucking sean cooper or some shit, is now entirely comic relief so anthy and utena can have #girlpower moments that dont work AT ALL so hes probably like fuckign idk one of the jonas brothers the one who was in jumanji he was pretty good actually

Miki kaoru, now mickey kelly i guess, idk hes like tom holland in a bad wig being his best uwu soft boi

Juri Arisugawa, now julie armstrong, is fucking ahhhhh im running out of hip young actors im gonna have to start looking up the euphoria cast list juris uhhh dove Cameron i think that fits in that it doesnt. Juris also straight shiori doesnt exist her new love interest is ruka/ryan played by uhhhh cole sprouse lets dip into riverdale

Hmmm i think thats everyone except akio? Im gonna be vague on akio since you dont know who he is but

Akio is now aaron Hemingway annies brother and hes played but rahul kohli who is the dude whos way too good for this project and honestly i think he could do it but again akio is unrecognizable hes just anthys supportive but hilarously overbearing older brother

Other things that cause me pain aside from casting:

Utena isnt butch anymore she dresses like a Hollywood tomboy and probably gets a feminine makeover at some point and sticks with it

No one is lgbt except nanami and even then plus they probably make a few jokes about anthy and utena looking like a couple and its really homophobic

Idk the rose bride is now the equivalent of a prom queen and everyones competing to get anthy as their date or something but then anthy and utena start competing to be the rose bride

And because its unrecognizable as rgu utena and anthy both become rose brides and its the climax of the movie where theyre like ...women...dont have..to fight each other....we're all rose brides probably with some mean girls references

It closes on utena and touga kissing and probably idk anthy and saionji kissing and the rest of the couples

Olivia rodrigo makes a cameo as like the prom singer or something and does an english pop cover of rinbu revolution that is also unrecognizable

People online get mad if you ship this version of anthy and utena because theyre straight

#Rgu #Sku #Ask to tag #You need to come back to this once yoj finish itll be so so much more painful #Was encouraged to tag this to make everyone suffer so #utena tenjou #anthy himemiya #touga kiryuu #nanami kiryuu #saionji kyouichi #miki kaoru #juri arisugawa

[cancermoonclown]

moon signs as phoebe bridgers songs

i love phoebe bridgers and i was listening to her songs as i was falling asleep and inspiration struck!

Aries moon- Kyoto- the angry and violent words of the narrator to the person who hurt her gives me Aries energy. also the adventurous setting to the song adds to it too.

Taurus moon- ICU- hear me out. the way the singer hates the inauthenticity and flaws of the person she's been hanging out with too much gives me Taurus vibes. A Taurus moon would want the simplicity and realness of a person they care about.

Gemini moon- You Missed My Heart- using the storyline as a way to remove yourself from the situation gives me the same vibes as Gemini removing their emotions from a problem or not even understanding how they feel about a situation.

Cancer moon- Scott Street - the whole vibe of feeling nostalgic over someone who wasn't even good for you and reflecting over the past,, very cancer moon. trust me, im a cancer moon and i FELT the vibes.

Leo moon- Graceland Too- "she can do whatever she wants, WHATEVER SHE WANTS x7" very Leo moon. a Leo moon can be going through many hardships but still keep their head up like "She could go home, but she's not going to/ So she picks a direction, it's ninety to Memphis"

Virgo moon- Halloween- Virgo has a connection to illnesses and sickness i.e. "I hate living by the hospital/ The sirens go all night/ I used to joke that if they woke you up/ Somebody better be dying" also, the way Virgo's care so deeply about the people they care about can be reflected in the lines "Always surprised by what I'd do for love/ Some things I'll never expect"

Libra moon- Garden Song- the growth that the singer shows and the peace that the singer exhibits gives me the harmony of a libra moon. also the "no, I'm not afraid of hard work/ i get everything i want/ i have everything i wanted" gives me cardinal moon vibes.

Scorpio moon- Killer- i know, i know. Scorpio and death and killing. but actually it's the obsessive tone of the speaker like "faking sleep to count your breath" or "given all my love" .

Sagittarius moon- I Know the End- the adventure to the end of the world and the fearlessness and fuck it all vibe.

Capricorn moon- Smoke Signals- i get this vibe that the narrator in this song is concerned for the other person, "something happened when you were a kid" "you must've been looking for me sending smoke signals" and Capricorns are surprisingly maternal so i feel like this correlates in my mind.

Aquarius moon- Punisher- the speed kicking in. the feeling like you have a connection to someone you never met. the walking all night. the feeling awkward and not knowing how to express your emotions.

Pisces moon- Savior Complex- we all know that Pisces loooove saving people. and the lines that give me strong Pisces energy are "all the bad dreams that you hide, show me yours and ill show you mine"

lemme know what yall think!! :))))

#aries moon #cancer moon #sagittarius #pisces #scorpio #capricorn #virgo #phoebe bridgers #music #astrology #aquarius moon #astro notes #libra #moon sign