#but i need more irl trans friends

[thysilus]

some of my gender shirts for pride month

#i wanna go to more pride things this year i p much never participate @ all #but i need more irl trans friends #gender tag #trans #pride #1k

[contagious-watermelon]

straight trans guys & aro trans guys solidarity. weird that my whole life I've been expected to be into dudes and now that I'm a guy the lgbts also want me to be into dudes or else they don't really think of me as one of them

and while I'm not attracted to anybody and straight trans dudes are attracted to women, i feel like we're in the same boat here. too queer for the straights and too straight for the queers

#not that i *need* to be a part of the lgbt community like that yk but still #its a little isolating to not fit in with any of the other trans people you find irl #(aside from my trans friends i knew pre-transition obv ily) #(and no shade to the gay & bi people im friends with irl either. this is more abt Generalizing Groups not the individual lgbt people i know) #(Generalized*) #(i fear i may be rambling lol) #transhet #ftm #trans man #aromantic #trans #aro

[uncanny-tranny]

Over the years, I've gotten a lot of cis people messaging me about how they should go about dating or courting somebody who's trans, and I always felt like my responses would almost... disappoint them because there isn't this magic secret to dating us.

Cis people, if you want to date us, just date us. We're human beings, we're not wild animals to tame! I promise you can have a healthy relationship with a trans person without needing to feel like the world will end if you mess up.

Trans people who date cis people often want to feel secure in your acceptance of them. You don't have to talk about our transness for hours on end to prove that you accept your loved one. You don't have to put on a display and cabaret about how Much You Accept Us. Just be a person around us, and let us be people, too!

I almost want to disappoint cis people by reminding them of this. Some of the best relationships I've had with cis people have been ones where my transness is acknowledged, sure, but it's acknowledged in the same way that my left-handedness is. It's not a joke to them, it isn't something to be horrified about, but it's also something that they don't objectify me for.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #watching a video about this topic and it just reminded me of this #like there have been plenty of cis people who have come to me for advice and while i appreciate the thoughtfulness (don't get me wrong!)... #...part of me just feels like... they see trans people as needing to be Tamed in some way or Appeased... #...like they see us as people but it's more like they see us as Trans People and not... people... #...and maybe i'm looking too deep into it. maybe i'm jaded but that's sometimes how it can feel with some people... #...like my besties that i talk to fully accepted me... #...though it is funny when they forget i'm... not a trans woman or (with other friends) that i'm... not a cis man #(maybe i just give off ambiguous vibes irl and online because it's happened irl and with my online buddies) #adding once again: i don't think ALL cis people who ask this are doing so in bad faith #cis people i'm glad you are vulnerable about not being sure about how to go about transness... #...however i don't always think it's the best move to go to a stranger about your interest in a trans person in your life... #...simply because: 1. transness isn't a monolith and... #...2. it feels awkward because you aren't going to *them* to have this conversation that will ultimately affect *them*... #...because your relationship with a trans person will likely /not/ affect a trans stranger...

[saintlesbian]

hm. having a mini gender crisis in the middle of my shift again

#pentababbles #good LORD is this getting annoying #got hit by a sudden dysphoria attack while talking to a girl and had to ask myself: #am I a trans guy or just really really butch?? #like I feel. othered. from cishet women with my alternate lifestyle in spite of both sharing space with them AND being attracted to them #even though I know they see me as one of them so immediately I am Not a Threat despite not performing femininity very well #and I feel no communion or comraderie with cishet men. despite longing to emulate aspects of their performances #I don’t really wanna be seen as a ‘man’ but I don’t wanna be seen as a woman either #to women I want to be seen as an object of attraction. to my friends I want to be seen as masc. to men I want to be seen as a threat #and these things don’t all automatically line up with being a man… #I think I would be more comfortable with femininity if I was at least allowed to be masculine first. #like. I NEED to go shopping in the men’s section so so bad #I’d really like to start taking t. on a low dose #just for a little while then stop once I achieve certain permanent changes I want (low voice + bottom growth) #I wanna get back into exercising to trim some fat #specifically the fat in more feminine areas. I really want that Britney Griner type chest #I’ve also contemplated the name ‘Abraham’ for my irls to call me when I feel less femme #kinda like my butch bartender oc Quincy except I’m. not that muscular and not a she/her #although I’d probably be more comfortable with she/her if I wasn’t forced into femininity so often #I think at the end of the day though. I’m not a trans guy just a weird dyke #bc I like feminine labels specifically in a lesbian manner: I’m okay with being called girlfriend or wife but not with daughter or sister #I’m dykegender. does all that make sense

[funkylittlebats]

.

#wow okay so ive been reconnecting with my friend who i previously hadn't seen or spoken to in months #and we've been chatting again for abt a month now and she came to my house univited and without warning today and we hung out #even though i really wasn't prepared for company. i decided it was a pleasant enough surprise. she brought cupcakes. #and then she tells me. a trans man. that she. a lesbian. is in love with me #and im now very uncomfortable bc i don't want to date someone who sees me as a girl. and i Know that that's the case here #bc she's said some Kinda Weird yellow flag things abt trans ppl (esp in regards to passing) that ive overlooked bc i enjoyed her company #and she starts crying on my shoulder bc she “can't believe im rejecting her bc i think shes transphobic” #and how she “thought i liked her too” bc i go along with her flirting (when she first started flirting w me i didn't pick up and she- #-made a joke abt how she likes to flirt w men bc shes gay but it looks like im too dense for that joke (said it a friendly way no really)) #(so i didn't realize she was ACTUALLY flirting bc she would still do this to other guys as a joke) #and she “feels so stupid for letting herself be led on by me” and a bunch of other bullshit #and expected me to comfort her while this was going on #which i did bc i didn't know what else to do #and she decided to take THAT as a mixed signal ig and tried to pet me #so i got away from her and got her some water and asked her to leave after she calmed down #and she started crying more but eventually left #and then like an hour later i start getting texts from our friends saying they couldnt believe i was so rude to her #and thought she was a transphobe and shoved her off of me when she just needed comfort #and so now everyone is refusing to talk to me until *i* apologize to *her* #i literally only have one irl friend now bc of this #fuck this shit #and i have fucking class tomorrow #fuck #this #shit

[stayatsam]

arghhhhhhh

#i feel mean for it but i really need more trans friends irl bc sometimes i feel so isolated when im hanging with cis ppl nonstop #i have two trans friends i can hang out with on a somewhat regular basis one of whom is my roommate

[crabpeach]

I feel like such an egg. Literally had a dream last night where my boobs were gone, I had a deeper voice, I was wearing cargo shorts and felt like I looked GOOD in them and people were calling me Davis (like from Digimon 02) and I was so fucking giddy. I’m so closeted like “you still like being feminine how can you be a trans guy”! I don’t know if I’d ever actually transition. I don’t feel gender dysphoria (I think) from looking at my body. I wish it wasn’t so definitive. Like can’t I be both all the time? Why do I have to choose?

#trans pride #transfem #egg irl #me #no one look at this #but actually #I need more trans friends #bigender #bi gender #trans rights #transgender

[mattynmarns]

hey so

#ive taken some time to reflect on everything and I'm still going to be dream posting #less than usual but i think im going to be posting everything less than usual #ive talked with trusted irl people and ive reflected on people/celebrities that i continue to support who have done the same or worse thing #and ive come to the conclusion that based on what we've seen of dream's character and what his irl friends say of his character #that a) theres no way he'd do something like this again and b) we've actually seen no real proof of anything #but yeah im trying to step back from sm in general #because ive realized the conclusions i made prev about this situation wouldn't be what I would've made without the influence of The Dash #i need to remember that theres a life outside of tumblr so I'm stepping back from it #not stepping away but ill stay logged out and i already don't have the app #so now ill only check it occasionally like once a day maybe rather than have it be my social crutch #personally i cant condemn someone without any evidence and there wasn't anything i found unforgivable or criminal about the SHOWN messages #however if other evidence comes out ill stand back and reevaluate #but yeah if you want to unfollow block or whatever i understand #ill still be posting dream but he's going to be tagged #but i think this situation has been drawn out of proportion for all we know right now (ex. the words that have been used) #and i think ultimately dream has done more proven good than proven harm and that's a factor for me personally #and i also want to add that the anti-men posting that I've seen lately fucking sucks. like that's terf rhetoric #and as a trans man i dont think that's very epic 🥴 #and i want to add that if you are choosing not to support him that that's cool with me like i honestly dgaf #butttttt i come here to relax from my real adult life that already stresses me out #so im only going to follow people that don't stress me out #so yeah #just wanted to update yall on where i stand #im finally becoming a normie 😔😭 #tumblr has been an addiction so im finally cutting myself off o7

[dreamertrilogys]

a fun fact about me is that i need to start binding or i’m going kill myself

#not actually don’t worry. i just need to say that i’m going to kms 100x a day for personal reasons #what they don’t tell you about having actual trans friends irl is that the one downside to it is that you have to see people just like you #being out and like actually passing but like you specifically can’t for a variety of reasons but those reasons don’t help with the dysphoria #anyway i’ve been tempted to bind/been looking into it on and off for a long time now actually. i think the biggest issues i’d have are: #purchasing it (solution: prepaid credit card) comma actually receiving the package without my parents finding out (solution: i’ve now done #this before with other packages which is more than i could say like 2 years ago yknow but also worst case scenario i order it to a friend’s #house) comma actually wearing it without my parents noticing (solution: still unsure about this one but whatever) and the most persistent #issue is washing it without my parents knowing which would be difficult bc in our house everyone’s laundry is done communally all at once #BUT i feel like if i really tried i might be able to work my way around that one or like hand wash it or smth idk #actually i think ur supposed to hand wash them anyway so that solves one of my problems at least #anyway #.txt #gender diary

[chisatowo]

Watching videos essays abt political stuff is fun except for the fact that it's abt real life and it's not fun

#rat rambles #^ just finished a video essay abt trans stuff and is having a Moment™ #Im ok just kinda emotional #and filled with rage abt everything ever but yknow when am I not #I rlyyy need to see if theres any lgbtq originisatons in my area #if theres one close enough maybe I could start vollenteering? idk #Im just anxious abt not being considered queer enough yknow the usual sorts dhndhdjhdjd #but honestly its more so abt my lesbianism since I have a very complicated relationship with ulit #like it makes me feel like if I bring up my acearo identity it makes my lesbianism less ~real~ somehow #like idk I wanna meet other queer ppl irl and I want more queer friends and I wanna be able to experiment with stuff #but idk why Im so scared abt the idea of having to explain myself #I know ppl probably wont care but ig Im just scared that if other queer ppl reject me then Ill have nowhere to go #or maybe itd go great and I could get a girlfriend like fuck man thats the problem xhdkgsksh #it could be the best thing thats ever happened to me but Im so anxious abt trying #Ive been so lonely and fuck man I dont trust myself to not let myself get trampled #sorry this got real personal real fast dhdkgdkdh again Im ok just emotional #now that I brought up the girlfriend thing tho I am going to be having gay thoughts while I shower so oops dhkdhkdh #idk Im still so unsure abt how I feel abt dating no romantic attraction asside like #again Ive never been able to experiment? and I also just dont know if theres anyone Id be willing to date in practice #like it might just be lonliness but it also could be me forming a stronger sense of self and better existing outside of relationships #and as such feeling more comfortable abt the idea of having more deep relationships with ppl even outside of dating and such #but again its all theoretical rn 😔 #anyways I need to shower bro its so late #rat vents

[nicodaws]

having a lil crisis at 1:30 in the am. as is tradition.

#this is such a long tag rant lmao sorry #tonight highlights r oh god i have no idea when im going to be able to medically transition #coz like ! fuck the uk system is designed to make us wait til we're 30 and i could go private but im not fucking loaded and im saving for #a year abroad in a few years and ffs im going fucking abroad for a year if all goes to plan and how does that even work and #idk how im supposed to do anything with no money and a transphobic family #and most the trans ppl ik irl have either been on the waiting list since they were 16 and r abt to get on T which i couldnt get coz my mum #would never #or they have fucking surgery dates scheduled coz their family can fucking afford to go private #and jealousy is an ugly emotion but man im feeling it so much rn #its just . i do not see the path that allows me to get what i need within the next like . 5 years . #its a stupid thing to be upset abt coz i cant change it but man im so upset abt it rn #my degree involves being on camera and podcasts and talking to strangers and i am not going to pass for any of it #anyway . its fine ill just have to save more and see abt private and get things moving ig #just. i want 2 talk to my mum abt it but i cant and it sucks. :] #. #idk i think i had this idea when i was like 12 and first coming out to friends that by the time i was 19 i would be on T getting surgery yk #but :] reality strikes again #delete later

[cats-in-the-clouds]

it’s all been said before but the whole pronouns thing for some people is getting so ridiculous it’s honestly just sad

#just saw a TIF post ‘i’ve decided that in addition to he/they i am now interested in ‘he/they/she. but just as a spicy little extra #only on rare occasion for fun. but please don’t ONLY use she/her for me if you use that please switch it up from time to time!’ #like girl can’t you see how meaningless this all is. it’s a consumerist hobby to you it’s a game of playing with masks for fun #it’s literally just about playing pretend and getting excited when your friends play along. it’s a bit #but actors get uncomfortable when the topic lingers on the truth for too long. they’re cool with dancing around it sometimes #but they don’t like being unmasked openly because they don’t like their true selves they like having a persona #this whole trans thing is so insanely dangerous people are straight up encouraging personality disorder type behavior #or like. when people who ‘use multiple pronoun sets’ post stuff like ‘i wish people would actually bother to switch it up sometimes #or use he or she instead of always just they :/‘ like yeah people are avoiding saying anything real because they’re afraid of upsetting you #and catching you on a bad day where that’s not right #or like. they’d prefer a consistent approach to language at the very least instead of fulfilling your ever-changing fantasies #because you can’t make up your mind because you always need more and more attention and can’t just be satisfied with yourself #literally i can remember my own experience with this thing wasn’t ‘maybe i’m actually not a girl’ (this is almost never it) #it was ‘maybe it would be fun to go she/they and put a non-binary flag in my icon and reblog all these cool posts about being trans’ #’it looks like it would be a lot of fun to get in on this cool thing and be someone special and have a secret identity in real life’ #it is so much fun to play pretend. and it is so damaging to act like these intrusive thoughts actually mean anything about your gender #bc when you spend too much time on the internet and start entertaining the idea of being someone else #it starts to feel weird when people irl refer to you as who you are with all relevant gendered language #dysphoria is being manufactured by overthinking about things while having ideas flow into your mind by a constant social media stream #for a whole generation of people online it is almost never an actual natural thing

[wikagirl]

okay buckos, I've sketched out a basic loaderbot.

Since this lil bingus is supposed to be found broken and fixed back up I'm gonna have to break some parts and modify them.

I was thinking about a grapple hook bc I've been swining around with the clawshot in MHW a lot recently and it's hella fun also this lil bingus is inspired by pathfinder a lot personality wise soooo ye...grapple

A nother thing I'm considering is breaking the lense and sticking asurveillance cam on top to serve as a head (inspired by the heads badassloaders have also some concept art of the more finalized lbs shows them with teeny tiny heads and I find that kinda cute lul)

Also antenna is a must, just don't know where to put it.

Feel free to give your input if you have any funky ideas for broken parts and ways a scrappy kid from promethea could have fixed it or other stuff I could add like...pff idk.. a backpack or sum stuff like that.

Like all I really have nailed down for this one is the personality and that they dream of going diving one day even tho they are not water proof. Hell I don't even have pronouns nailed down yet and am actually thinking of making this a thing in my writing wehre the guy who fixed the lil one and gigi just freestyle with pronouns until the little one finds ones they like. A pronoun of the week type situation.

Also I want the little one to pick their own name at some point, but until then I'll just refer to them by variations of "the small one" or "the child" bc they are a little baby that just popped into existence concious exploring the universe. They are literally baby.

Feel free to drop name suggestions. They can be normal human names, names with numbers, acronyms, anything.

Input of mutuals will be valued above everyone elses tho <3

#borderlands #borderlands oc #loaderbot #loaderbot oc #we did a similiar thing to the pronoun of the week situation with a trans irl friend while they were trying to pick a new name #they had a list of names that all sounded very similiar and they couldn't decide which one so we gave all of them a test run for a week lul #also I'm really terrible with naming my ocs #if there isn't some kind of pre-established naming system in game I'm basicly lost #like the only reason for why all of my ocs in ffxiv have original sounding names is bc there is a system I can work with #each species and their two sub clans have their own naming system which they explain in detail with cultural meaning and stuff #I mean we humans kinda that too but due to globalization I feel like it's getting really washed out with cultures mixing and all that #and can't forget people apropriating names from other cultures because they sound so ✧・ﾟ: *✧ exotic ✧・ﾟ: *✧ #without knowing any of the cultural background or the meaning especially with religious names #also white american moms needing to invent new ways to spell Ashley to make it more ✧・ﾟ: *✧unique✧・ﾟ: *✧

[bane-of-technology]

You are genuinely the only person on my dash who regularly reblogs from terfs. I know your bio says that terfs can fuck off but I'm genuinely worried you're a crypto terf or like accidentally becoming surrounded by them and are gonna turn into one.

Can you tell me what blogs I reblog from that are terfs? I try to stick to my mutuals, but some days I use that recommended posts tab and idly click through without looking at urls. If the op's keep being terfs, I'll probably stop using that feature outright, but I try to vet my mutuals to make sure there's no dogwhistles or concerning politics.

#i also tend to reblog random add ons from the notes but that doesn't happen as much comparatively #thanks for the reminder that i need to be looking at urls more often #but this ask doesn't do much more than generate anxiety without specifity #sorry for answering this at 4am but that's when i woke up #I'm pretty sure 80-90% of my mutuals are some form of gender queer cause I tend to majority follow people I've known from uni #so I'll just assume that this is about the posts from the recommended tab unless told otherwise #if it makes you feel more secure in my moral politics anon: i have terfs fuck off not only because i do strongly believe so #but also because I have multiple family members who are trans plus my partner of over 5yrs #not to mention all the aforementioned mutuals and irl friends who are trans

[remedialchaoticscreaming]

"I thought you were just a really feminine man"

ah, yes, the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me, a trans guy, after finding out I'm trans

#this happened like two weeks ago #but I just can't stop thinking about it #I need more irl trans friends because let's face it cis people suck #for the record I am “just a really feminine man” #why are people so weird about trans people

[readymades2002]

i still think that pronouns being a...somewhat common expected mode of introducing yourself is strange 😭 the purpose that makes sense to me in doing that is mostly to signal that you're trans or otherwise affiliated (which...i know that "allies" doing things like this or calling people their partner or whatever is meant to create a space where people feel comfortable coming out, but as i still cannot bring myself to come out in such situations and as i've had Really Bad Experiences with people claiming to be allies i haven't internalized this as a purpose that makes sense yet), but i know that it is also genuinely supposed to be like. "here's how you should talk about me if you want to mention me to a third person!" which is something that makes me REEL to think about. there is no universe where i want to introduce myself to someone by telling them how to correctly and incorrectly talk about me to someone else!! i don't understand...

#i do understand its just that i guess my experience with gender is strange #i know that these things have a purpose but i am really averse to thinking about it #it feels like...branding in a weird way. tell your friends about this channel and subscribe if you want to see more #i dont feel like gender plays that kind of linguistic role in how i talk to other people? im sure it does on a deeper level #(talking to men does make me nervous even if i don't comprehend gender in the expected way) #but its. hrm. i dont know. i know (OBVIOUSLY!)(I AM TRANS) that gender is important to people #but i also dont...need to know to navigate convrsations? #i probably do. i just dont consider the kind of small talk that comprises most interactions irl to be conversations necessarily? #its...kind of a problem 😭 i dont think of the way i talk and move and emote as part of what makes me me #and i am so so so bored by most 'necessary' conversations that it makes my teeth hurt and i dont know how to deal with that... #part of the problem may just be im not approaching real life with a pragmatic approach to communicating...? #im not...hm. i am a very private person irl (which im sure is a surprise if you read this page) #i am very opinionated and passionate but i don't express this much in the flesh. lots of reasons #(often seen as an outsider)(denied opportunities to define myself)(put on display for others a lot)(punished for argumentative behavior) #so maybe i am not present enough in most banal conversations to understand the point of them... #maybe i would understand introduction with pronouns if i wasn't invested in staying closeted or scared or anything #'the ocean still looks grey to me' as they say #this didnt go where i wanted it to </3 anyway