#but i may have to do more surgery

[batgrldes]

I am hating my eye right now.

#had a retinal detachment back in may #doctor is still working on it #but i may have to do more surgery #i can't believe my eye would betray me like this #after years of great eye health despite my myopia #and just one day decided to detach #from life love and all happiness #is it because 911 isn't going to be on in the fall #i don't want another big bill either #dez posts

[beaft]

as a late birthday gift to myself i have decided to sue the nhs

#more accurately i'm *threatening* to sue the nhs #which i believe i have grounds to do given that they're about to cost me 4 grand #in the form of the deposit for a surgery which i now may not be able to undergo because of how fucking incompetent they are #maybe my scary legal email will be enough of a kick in the ass to get me the results i need #but given that it's a case of unstoppable force (me) vs immovable object (the nhs admin team) my hopes are not high. #we'll see #to sum up: 🫠

[sisaloofafump]

Scars

Loosely inspired but the fic So you’ll know where I’ve been by @cacchieressa

#am I 100% happy with this? #no definitely not #but it’s 6:30 am and I like how Steph looks so I’m posting it anyway #definitely turn out may more shippy than I meant lol #which I’m not against per say but wasn’t my goal #anyway #I do quite like the fic this is based on #I contemplated also adding babs and her back surgery scar #but by that point I’d have to think about everyone’s surgeries #and I just #I just wanted to keep it simple #so #dc comics #my art #batman #stephanie brown #batgirl #spoiler #jason todd #red hood #jaysteph

[transingthoseformers]

Breakdown and Bulkhead being exes and there being so many emotions about that

Especially with me remembering the semicommon hc that Breakdown used to be an autobot, which considering how he's often a stunticon and the stunticons are in rid15 gives me the crack idea of

At the beginning of the war Breakdown left the stunticons to join the autobots because of his boyfriend at the time and him disagreeing with Motormaster, leading to MM saying he won't under any circumstances take BD back if shit with Bulk and the bots goes sideways

Shit with Bulkhead and the autobots goes sideways as Breakdown grows increasingly dissatisfied with his role in the autobots, leading to him breaking up with Bulkhead and him joining the Decepticons like he was "supposed to" in the beginning of this scrap

Well. Now he's an ex-autobot in the Decepticons and again the stunticons kept to their word as he burned that bridge, leaving him a tidge of a mess.

Enter Knockout, who's looking to take on an assistant with at least SOME medical experience. Breakdown fills this requirement because i say so and because i love nurse/medic!Breakdown. Breaky says yes because fr what the pits else is he supposed to do.

After a rough adjustment period, they grow close and the more familiar power couple KOBD we recognize and love ensues

In his wiki page tfwiki suggests that in aligned Breaky used to be a scout, actually, who was real super anxious before getting a frame upgrade in order to keep up his grudge with Bulkhead and this did wonders for his mental health from what i can see. This may be another reason why Breaky seeked Knockout out

THERE WE GO, TFP BREAKDOWN: AN EX-STUNTICON, EX-AUTOBOT, UNEXPECTED MEDIC, CURRENTLY KNOCKOUT'S PARTNER IN CRIME AND MOTHERFUCKER WITH A HAMMER

#maccadam #transformers #a bullshitted up mix of canon_ fanon_ and situations where you remember it's a continuity family rather than a single continuity #Breakdown deserves more love. ik he already gets a lot but like. more please. #breakbulk #kobd #tfp breakdown #tfp bulkhead #tfp knockout #knockout was glad to oversee his fiancé's gender affirming surgery (/hj) go well #unusual metaphors for dysphoria GO #how funny would it be if they actually do have the equivalent of courting rings but they keep them safe in their quarters #i saw the idea of courting rings being made out of a literal piece of their partner's plating and the symbolism is insaneeee #i love the idea of Cybertronian courting gifts and rituals that get practiced in a variety of ways or even not at all #some of this may be nonsense

[54bpm]

Incredibly Official and Professional Hiatus Notice

#2024 #long time coming its been getting more persistent and i dont really have good days anymore #even this quick stupid thing hurt #extreme bummer and i may break and do some stuff #but goal is to do as little as possible bc if i dont cut it out now #i will be looking at surgery which is not great

[nonokoko-draws]

Do you guys see my vision

#bucchigiri?! #bucchigiri #marito jin #jin marito #nonokoko's art #my edits #I hit him with the trans beam. Mahoro is trans too btw #Their parents expected a boy and a girl and they sure had them lol #sorry if the top surgery scars are weird it's my first time coloring them instead of letting them in black so idk what I was doing #I just complicated my life x10 harder by giving him more tattoos? Yeah I did now I'll have to remember them and draw them *le sigh* #trans headcanon #not entirely convinced in letting his lower tattoo have the same colors as the butterfly. May change that detail #not proud of the result it looked better in my doodle phase tbh like what's up with that arm. Oh well #giving snake inspo features to characters related with snakes on their design in some way is my passion. Long live animal characteristics #♡ — my art #artists on tumblr #character headcanons #IMPORTANT FACT: the scars are supposed to resemble the S from Siguma that's why they are rounder than normal scars would look like

[aria-ashryver]

caesar keel over yet?

ik you sent this a couple weeks ago, but i thought it was funnier if i answered it today

IDES OF MARCH FINAL STATS!!

Diagnosis: Aggressive HER2+ ductal carcinoma, weakly estrogen positive, metastasized, technically incurable Name of Tumor: Caesar Classification: little bitch

108 IV lines / blood tests / self-administered injections

19 Eggs harvested

9 Embryos frozen

8 Supplementary medications

5 Ultrasounds

4 Computed Tomography (CT) scans

3 Mammograms

3 Chemo regime changes

2 Core biopsies

1 Positron Emission Tomography (PET-CT) scan

1 Bone Scintigraphy

1 Multigated Aquisition (MUGA) scan

1 Echocardiogram

1 Electrocardiogram (ECG)

1 round of genetic testing

1 "this is the biggest tumour I have seen in my recent years as an oncologist"

1 reclassification from Stage 2 to Stage 4

1 "this is one of the best responses to chemotherapy I have ever seen"

(and GOD KNOWS how many litres of Paclitaxel, Pertuzumab, and Trastuzumab pumping through my veins...)

We can safely call it. At my last clinic, my oncologist told me he was happy with that my last few scans had remained stable, and that I wouldn't require any surgery or radiation therapy.

Folks. I did it.

CAESAR'S ASS IS DEAD YALL I BEAT CANCER HAPPY IDES OF MARCH 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

#aria pincushion tally: #FINAL SCORE #108 #cw cancer #so yes #i will technically have to continue with treatment #i need to do immune therapy every three weeks #likely for the rest of my life #and yeah they do kinda suck #but not as much as chemo so thats a win #also I MAY possibly still have surgery if I want it #not sure yet #hopefully i'll find out more on that soon #but yeah #get fucked caesar #ur a stupid ho #happy ides of march yall 😊 #ides of march

[uncanny-tranny]

Do you think that terfs will calm down with hating on trans women once womb transplants are a thing? Because their whole argument is that "trans women aren't women because no womb uwu"

No, because that frankly isn't their whole argument. They don't argue against trans women solely because "no womb," and if womb transplants were a viable and safe measure, that would absolutely not be a good argument to calm their grievances - a transphobe doesn't deal in a genuine care for others, it a disgust response.

Transphobes already have issues with trans women getting FFS, vaginas, and hell, they even have issues with trans women being fem (or masc), even if they say, "we're okay with gender nonconformity!" as a cover. Because, again, it is a disgust response that blooms in response to their own transohobia, it isn't about being able to debate them, really.

Additionally, with my experience of dealing with that kind of extreme reactionary transphobe, they don't fucking care if they're wrong. Like, do you know how many times I've talked to a TERF who tells me I only transition because of misogyny, only to then talk in circles once I say, "misogyny against me had only increased since I have transitioned to male, plus, I never faced misogyny before I transitioned," because again, it isn't about the trans people themselves per se, it's about this viseral disgust response. It is them trying to reason with their discomfort with hatred. That isn't going to go away when trans care expands or becomes even more advanced.

I really want to stress how important it is to not whittle their whole argument down to "[trans women*] don't have wombs," because you will end up missing a lot of trans people who are affected by this type of extreme reactionary transphobia.

#ask #anon #transphobia #transphobia tw #terf tw #terf mention tw #like... hatred toward trans women has existed for a *long* time not at the fault of trans women either mind you... #...but because of that... a surgery alone will not change the hearts of a person already stewing in their hatred of trans people #and frankly... i wouldn't care about changing their minds really because at some point there is only so much you can do #but like... i have had terfs wish death and assault on me for being a trans guy and it's like... #...surely if their WHOLE grievance about trans people were 'no womb' that wouldn't be a thing right? #and what about intersex trans women who may well HAVE a womb? do they get treated well by them? #no because intersexness AND trans people are something abhorred in spaces like that #so it's in our best interest to defend and include as many of us as we possibly can #i'm not angry at anon btw u guess i'm kind of... intrigued at how the reasoning works #this rant is more general which is why it is in the tags. #if i posted a fraction of some of the anons i've gotten lol....

[consolecadet]

Thinking about how my fine motor skills/manual dexterity are fairly good (relatively fast touch typist, ok at many types of art, envied by peers for my onion-dicing abilities) but my gross motor skills & proprioception are less good and feel significantly degraded by joint problems with EDS (historically bad at sports, often knock things over especially when using a cane, was horrible at throwing/catching objects until Something Changed in 2019). World's least graceful artist

#the throwing and catching things issue may have had more to do with how people treated me as a kid #the primary shift was becoming less afraid of 1) failure and 2) things hitting me in the face #turns out if you keep your eyes open and track the object's trajectory you are much more likely to catch it #as opposed to closing your eyes and instinctively shielding your body #[shrug emoji] #I am pretty good at PT though... #it might be specifically time pressure and trying to coordinate many movements at once that's the problem #if you want me to isolate one specific non-hand muscle for an exercise I can definitely do that #which is why I uh. have judged people for needing straws to drink after top surgery #just move your forearm without engaging your pecs! duh. #ANYWAY. distracted at work about this. gotta go #boring text posts #medical

[magioffire]

as much as i appreciate all depictions of trans masc people in art, this isnt some kind of put down like omg you gotta draw ALL your art like this but... its honestly quite nice to see some trans masc characters that  have breasts  and are completely fine with that. like i get that top surgery scars have just become the visual short hand for ‘trans man/,masc’ character but thats not the reality for every trans masc person, not all trans masc people experience top dysphoria all the time, or even at all, and i feel like if we normalized the idea of breast tissue on men it would help to lessen the social stigma of men with breasts, cis or trans. i just love to see trans masc characcters who still have their breasts because its a reflection of the sort of trans experiences and bodies i am familiar with

#like seeing yourself in media is unendingly important #people who get to see themselves in media on a regular basis may not understand but seeing a character that looks like you #and isnt just a 'hahah fat tranny' joke that is actually extremely good for your mental well being #and you know...its part of the reason why i opted to make vali look the way he does because you know how many people #have come up to me expressing gratitude that someone would ever write someone who looked remotely like them #and wasnt just the butt of some cruel joke #and that they didn't really consider that it was possible for a character of this type to be considered desirable by fandom culture at large #because lez be honest fandom spaces can be very "pretty f/ggots only pls uwu' #again this isnt to put down anyone who DOES draw most of their trans characters with top surgery scars like #thats still important too i get really happy when i see art that includes that because its like the artist and i #are shaking hands like same hat #but even more so when i see a person or an experience that better reflects my own #where i had never seen it before treated with any reverance or respect #i wanna include that same feeling for others in my writing since i cant draw lmfaooo #to me thats the importance of diversity. not a brownie sticker you get to absolve you of being 'called out' #but something you do because you want to express and experience a fuller breth of human experience. not just the most acceptable versions #and help others see themselves in the art they consume #anyway thank u for coming to my ted talk #ooc. #tbd. #i hope this makes a single lick of sense lmfaooo #its 3 am leave me alone #im easily amused and also starving for content that gives me a single smidgen of shared life experience between trans people #this is why if you wanna see yourself in something..U GOTTA MAKE IT YOURSELF and u end up surprised at how many others were #also unknowingly looking for the same thing #and are like hey. thanks for that. i needed that. #and im like same bro :') #and tbf top surgery scars in art MIGHT be that for some people and i love that for them #but for me its seeing beautiful men who dont have 100 percent flat chests because that is apart of the trans male experience too #fuck just the male experience in general

[bunnihearted]

🚬🧸🧃🎀

#anyway so yeah im so sick of hating myself. of missing out on things and being too scared to go after things i want when i have the chance #so sick of almost being 25 and having spent almost 6 years alone in my room missing out on life #and my mom and sister might be moving in the not too distant future #so i have to try to get my life together for real now!!! or homelessness will be awaiting me :D #what i will try to do.. is start going to the gym (w my mom so i dont have to deal w the anxiety of an unknown place by myself sksk) #i'll workout 3-5 times a week. every week. i like going to the gym so if i just get started i dont have a doubt i'll not be able to do it #i'll focus on finishing my english class. hopefully in december even if i have the possibility to get it extended a few months #then i'll start my other 4 classes in january #i'll be patient and wait for my ultrasound and get the gallstone situation fixed (latest in january if i need surgery) #(and i have to try to make sure i eat properly so i dont wind up with b12 deficiency... i cant eat anything without pain but i have to..) #also i have an appt at the psychiatric in mid october. and im still waiting on what my healthcare center says. hopefully i can get cbt #if possible i will really really try to apply for jobs as a personal assistant sometime between january-may #if i have a job instead of being on wellfare i will 1) have way more money 2) not feel constabtly anxious abt being rejected and homeless #i'll stop caring abt me being 'old' and a late bloomer. the planet is dying. who cares if im 28 and start university???? #i'll take my time to finish high school. and the thing is i really should get a job before starting higher vocational education #bc the program i want to start i HAVE to have a laptop. and theres no way i can afford that now. cant even save up to it #also need to find and put myself up on waiting lists for student housing/apartments so i can actually move #i hate this city and i need to get the fuck out of here!!!! #but the world is crazy rn and it's super hard to find places to live and find jobs but it's not impossible so i need to try #i cant live like this & i have no idea how tf i'll manage to be a normal person and have a life but i need to try bc what else am i gnna do?

[gailynovelry]

Sometimes, living under late-stage capitalism is just like. I'm tired of being asked to spin straw into gold in exchange for a plate of stale, soggy bread crust.

#i genuinely like my day job #but (rant ahead) every month i am being asked to do more and more with less and less #i am being scraped thinner and thinner #and the customers are somehow getting a more raw deal over time too! #i'm honestly watching for my company to accidentally cross that lovely invisible line where people get fed up with the service #and finally abandon it all at once #like with the warner thing #management thinks that if they boil the frog slowly enough it will never notice #i think eventually the frog says to itself “this sauna is too hot wtf” and jumps out #girl i just want to clean and do maintenance and count money and do a few customer's laundry for them . . . and ideally have days off #my days off. got halved since feb. i had four days off in march. TWO OF THEM WERE FOR SURGERY AND RECOVERY. #i am doing 90% of certain kinds of work for the store and 100% of other kinds #and i had to work with a potential concussion because i knew no-one could fill in #if they don't give me that week off in may then i am walking out and letting the store i am single-handedly holding up #c r u m b l e

[fatsmyname]

i’m transmasc butch too but tbh your art literally just looks like it’s of cis men. what’s even the point.

well sorry my ocs look like people then lol. it’s kind of the point 🤨

#anon #look this convo can go many different ways and I have more thoughts on this #like 1 there isn’t a singular way trans people look and many do exist to pass as a certain gender #my ocs are personal interpretations of aspects of my own gender #and pardon me if I like to portray my ocs this way #i imagine them both having to navigate life with close proximity to manhood as ftm and mtf trans people #and 2 this brings up the convo that maybe my work just isn’t for you and why should I have to depict my ocs a certain way #to make them more valid as trans characters #and begs the question of what makes trans folk visibly trans #is it ftm’s typically short and smaller stature? #because if we go by those stereotypes we need to caution against accidentally falling into bio essentialist ideas #of what trans people look like #my ocs don’t have to show their top surgery scars or their girl bulges to show you that they aren’t cis #can they not simply exist as trans characters in their own worlds #with their own ideals and standards of gender #that may or may not align with yours?

[angel-derangement]

they do not tell you toe surgery is itchy

#occurs to me I am posting more about this toe surgery than I did about my top surgery #I think part of me was hesitant to post about top surgery bc I’m aware others may not have access to it #although to be fair. in terms of real impact on my quality of life this toe surgery has the potentential to be just as beneficial as top #was to me #I mean I haven’t warn any shoes other than sneakers for a year bc of the pain. like I couldn’t do activities I wanted to #although top surgery did massively improve my sleep and stop my constant headaches so. it’s a toss up

[piplupod]

me like four days ago to an old friend who msged me to reconnect: "yeah no i think things are settling down maybe after this last month of actual hell"

today: mother's medical situation has been handed a kablooey and the next few months are going to be Even Harder

#she is getting a biopsy tomorrow. and um. medications are being fucked with to drastic degrees #and we're going to have to wait several months for surgery when she was supposed to originally get it next month #fucking hell i am so incredibly stressed fjjfkdl i dont want this to be happening at all #i am the caregiver who is in charge of making sure she's conscious and okay at all times when dad's not available #i.e. he is at work or sleeping (shift worker) #and then bc of this im also on 911 calling duty if she ever does have smth happen #which isnt entirely out of the question. augh. #its uhm. a rly fucked thing to have to be the caregiver for ur abuser. im not doing very well tbh fjdkdl #this is also why hiatus is happening rn dhdksl things are so incredibly nightmarish rn #idk how im doing as well as i am <- is incredibly out of touch w reality and dissociating to dangerous degrees #idk!! i am frightened and exhausted and i just am begging whatever higher power may exist to let this be over one way or another honestly #get me out or get me gone or do smth to another of the chess pieces in this game so it can all finally stop #i need to go do 1k more words before bed tonight if i want to keep on track w november writign month #but i also desperately am needing to do my nightly drawing+decompressing fbfjdkdl so idk what to do its already 9pm augh augh #luckily i have dbt tomorrow so i will get to See real live ppl again tomorrow #its been a week since i talked to or have seen anyone outside of family face to face fbkfdl #god i am so fucked fjkfdl this is so so so bad and i cannot do anything abt any of it #i rly fucking wish dbt was helpful for ongoing situations but it seems like its only for short term bad times fjfjdldl #im so gjfkdld this is so fucked and i am aaaaaaaaa #pippen needs 2nd breakfast #vent tw

[saul-goodboy]

i love my friends because i can say the most cracked out insane shit to them and they’ll be like. huh. yeah that checks out

#some of my favorites include: #i have seriously considered performing surgery on myself on multiple seperate occasions and have studied the procedures #i am in possession of a two liter bottle of piss that may or may not be my own #i genuinely believe that i have the power of telepathy and i Know All which is why i always coincidentally know what people are doing #and many more misadventures #but like 75% of us are mentally ill in our own right so it’s like. yeah honestly go off dude i’ll incorporate that into my belief system #and the 25% that are relatively normal will just stand there and be like hey there. wooooah there. what the fuck