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#but i also can't decide what i wanna do rn
miradelletarot · 1 month
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WHY?
Why is my brain soup? I feel like I have a rabid giant miniature space hamster and a beheaded chicken running around in the space where my brain should be.
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donuts4evry1 · 2 years
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i love you oversized clothing I love you thick fabric I love you long sleeve shirts I love you long pants I love you warm jackets and I love you blankie
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ego--x · 1 year
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So current good thing: I started working out again, adjusting my nutrition and ditched a community that was starting to become toxic for me (at least for the time being it was best to step away).
Downside: while I have a lot of time on my hands now, I am interested in too many things at once wrestling for my braincell so I end up doing.... Nothing at all. 🧍🏻‍♂️
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amethyst-halo · 1 year
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head in hands as i try to think of what a 15 year old girl would wear
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skrunksthatwunk · 26 days
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playing dmc1 with my earbuds in (but on low volume bc they're being weird) while my roommate and her shitty bf argue. i feel like i'm recreating the very specific experience of some child of divorce out there
#how do i tell her she needs to break up with him immediately. posthaste.fuck it funny post over rant incoming tw emotional abuse i think#nyarla dni#(<- roomie and nyarla have met and i don't wanna air roomie's drama to ppl who know her w/o her consent. anon internet ppl only)#listen i'm normally for gentle advising and that's probably what i'll do since i don't want to stress her out but oh my fucking god what is#his problem. he's constantly putting her in these weird no-win situations where the only right answer is to never be upset or disagree or b#wrong on accident or be misunderstood by him and to tell him everything she's feeling so she's not 'playing mind games' but if she says wha#she's feeling he'll interrogate her and badger her with the same questions over and over again insisting she's unreasonable until she gives#in and says she's sorry with an attitude he likes. i fucking don't like him. and a lot of this is observations from today. the day after sh#GOT INTO A CAR ACCIDENT AND BROKE HER NECK. WHAT THE FUCK.#it's like he expects to be treated like a king on one of the worst days of her life and when she's upset he's like OH. OH I GET IT.#and lectures her on having attitude and taking things out on others when she's literally not even doing that. not to an extent that matters#anyway. like. there's more productive ways of dealing with that. where you don't treat them like a bad kid for getting overwhelmed#he has made her cry multiple times today. i have been around multiple arguments and fights and he's just genuinely. awful i hate him#hell the first argument i overheard *i* was in tears by the end (luckily they left soon after bc i had to run to the basement laundry#dungeon to bawl my eyes out because 1. i can't handle confrontation 2. i've never seen roomie cry and 3. she just seemed so hurt and tired)#anyway he just left again after a fight because. god this is so dumb. she told him to move while they were sleeping in the same twin bed#(remember she's in a neck brace) and he fucking. left the room for an HOUR bc he thought the only thing that could POSSIBLY mean (as he#insisted) was for him to get out of here and then when she was like oh hey i'm sorry i didn't mean it like that he decided to spend the nex#half hour of his short time on this earth chewing her out for not giving him a lengthy explanation while half-asleep as to like. why he#needed to move (she wanted to grab smth) and apparently he sat in the chair by her bed for like 10 mins before leaving so he probably saw#her fall back asleep. and then he got pissy when after he left she didn't pick up her phone when he was calling her? even though he knew sh#was asleep?? she didn't even know he was gone. fucking. i need to get him away from my roomie YESTERDAY#look. miscommunication happens. i'm not saying he's an asshole for wanting things said clearly. i am pro-saying what you mean.#but if every time your gf tells you what she means you make it into a 30 minute lecture (no matter how small the slight and w/o examining i#you're actually right or not) she's not gonna wanna fucking tell you if she doesn't think it's worth the argument. especially if you never#let her rest until she concedes. apology isn't enough. clarification isn't enough. she has to say how wrong she was and beg and GOD. UGHHH#and he's always on about how she hurts his feelings. a gust of wind could hurt his feelings. he's constantly berating her manipulating her#and then he's like >:( see that hurt my feelings you can't hurt ppl's feelings. you're disrespectful. HE"S THE WORST I FUCKING HATE HIM#look sometimes adversity reveals the truth of a person and this just amplified his shittiness so much. mr OH i slept in a HOSPITAL and it#was so bad... you can't be in a bad mood bc i've been doing the bare minimum and you need to prioritize MY feelings rn. also i won't leave
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bookersebastien · 2 months
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the neurodivergent urge to immediately backtrack on any big decision because you can never be sure if you really want to do something because you lack the ability to be introspective and truly understand what you feel
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sun-marie · 3 months
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I wish I had the stamina/time/mental energy to play more than one game at a time, bc I've been wanting to replay BG3 even before the new patch, but at the same time.. Octopath 2..... it's calling my name.....
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keeps-ache · 4 months
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every time i think the inks are gonna be Really hard the colours are harder.. always there to keep me in check hvfsh
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smol-grey-tea · 11 months
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Ok so all I need to do now is fix the issue of my legs always hurting when I wake up in the morning, then that will finally fix me and I will be ok forever
I hate that "x will fix me" joke cuz it's so fucking personal, why does it really feel like one thing will fix you, is it cuz when you tell ppl your problems they're always like "just do this one thing and it'll fix you" so you think it's true just cuz of how many times you hear it? I wanna know the scientific explanation for this, I also wanna hear the scientific explanation for my leg aches
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bountycancelled · 3 months
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decisions
luke castellan x child of hecate!reader
requested: yep! I hope you like it anon
warnings: allusions about death, but no character dies.
content: yall, it's 1 am rn, and I just wanna go to sleep. it's unedited and nothing bad happens I promise. I'll do a proper content thingy in the morning. pls enjoy while I pass out.
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"you know those kids are probably gonna have nightmares for at least a week, right?"
you didn't need to turn to know who was behind you as you leaned against a tree trunk, toying with a twig in your hands. Luke castellan seemed to have an affinity for interrupting you anytime you found solace in being alone. you didnt know how he just... knew, when and where to find you during times like these, but he always did. you found yourself minding his presence less and less as time when on.
"they should consider themselves lucky, I was debating whether or not I should just summon a ghost for them tonight, but I figured they couldn't handle it, and this camp doesn't have any trauma counselling so." the leaves on the twig in your hand withered at an accelerated place in your hands, and a part of you felt bad. you usually kept your distance from anything living since you knew your touch had the possibility of having an adverse, and sometimes deadly affect, but tonight was just one of those nights.
Luke chuckled at your words, plucking one of the now wilted leaves from the twig in your grasp as he spoke up once more. "you know, I actually want you to help me with something, if you don't mind. I need help deciding whether or not I should do something."
you rolled your eyes, giving him a pointed look. "you know I can't make decisions for you. I don't have the ability to know what consequences you'll have to deal with."
"isn't hacate the goddess of crossroads?" Luke countered, a small smirk on his face. you knew that he was only pestering you because he thought it was funny that you always needed to explain your abilities and your godparent to people, but you couldn't just keep silent at his bait nonetheless.
"that doesn't make me some kind of fortune teller, I can't decide for you which direction to go to when you reach a fork on the path. I just have a vague understanding over what you're currently debating if you should do."
"okay okay, no fortune telling. but can you at least point me in the right direction? it doesn't matter how vague." he asked, and you tilted your head to stare up at the starry sky, because you knew that even in the dark, Luke could convince you to help him with nothing but a pleading glint in his deep eyes.
he didn't relent at tour silence or your avoidance of his gaze, uttering a small "please?" which finally broke your resolve.
you took a deep breath, finally looking at him once again, your face deep in concentration. "not a guide either. but I get the sense that... if you don't do what you're thinking of doing, you'll regret it." you felt a bit lightheaded afterwards, but the tree you were leaning against was enough security for you.
Luke on the other hand didnt seem to think so, showcased by how his hands immediately went to your shoulders in an effort to keep you up, while also unintentionally coming closer. a bit too close for comfort, but you were too foggy for the lack of distance to hit you yet.
he nodded at your advice, biting his lip before speaking once again, not missing the way your eyes flicked towards his lips and then back to his eyes, almost instantaneously.
"then I'll just go ahead and say it, I like you. a lot." he had expected a few different reactions, you immediately jumping into his arms and accepting his confession (his personal favourite hypothesis), you shyly stating that you felt the same way, you being shocked that he had feelings for you at all (he liked to believe that he wasn't entirely obvious) but he didn't expect what you did next.
instead, you blew air from your nose, giving him a look he couldn't quite place. "you have horrible taste. and you're also delusional. we've had maybe 4 conversations the entire we've known each other, and you like me?" you rolled your eyes, shaking your head at the words you were about to utter. "but I guess that makes me delusional too, because I feel the same way."
he pouted at your words, feigning hurt with a hand placed on his chest. "you wound me. if I had known you were gonna be this mean... I would've confessed sooner." he added with a slight smirk, trailing his other hand from your shoulder down to your waist, leaning his face towards yours.
you were quick to shut down his advance, maneuvering your way out of his hold. "one thing you're gonna need to get used to, castellan. no touching. at all. at least, not until I'm sure I can control my ability. you have a goodnight though." you called out as you walked away from a now needy Luke, leaving him leaning against the tree.
he quickly followed after you, trying to plead his case. "no touching? that's insane, how could I not touch you? I'm not afraid of death, especially if it comes from my hands on your body, or vice versa. I'll happily forfeit my life for a kiss. come on, I'm fine with just a peck. actually, no. I take that back. if I'm gonna die, we need to make out before I go."
you simply shook your head, reiterating your rule, unable to stop a grin from forming on your face. you stopped abruptly, turning to face him with a serious look in your eyes. "... okay. but just a peck. im serious."
it was not just a peck. but luckily, Luke made it out alive. (though, he seriously wouldn't have minded if he didn't.)
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neil-gaiman · 1 month
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hi Neil, i hope you've had a great day. i'm on spring break rn and my family and i are at the beach and i've been reading Fragile Things. i loooove it.
question. how the hell do you choose what genre to make a story? i'm stuck with mine. and this is the problem. i know the start, i know the ending (which is arguably funny. spoiler: a married couple who were cheating on each other both turn out to be gay and the reveal is a huuge relief for both of them so they end up happily divorced), and i have a vague idea of what i want for the plot, but it doesn't scream "funny" bc well. it's about an illicit affair from the pov of one of their lovers. and it's got angsty themes like child abuse, trauma, queerfobia, etc. and ofc i don't wanna downplay the weight of these things, especially bc they're things that i have firsthand experience with. but i also feel like if i make the entire thing as angsty as it sounds and then make it have a funny ending it would give me a sort of genre whiplash and it would all sound very incongruent. but i just can't fucking decide what to do, if i should lean more towards the funny or the drama?
Trust the story. Write the best first draft and then fix what needs fixing when it's done and you can see what you made.
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thehighladywrites · 1 month
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— “I’m just a girl!”
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☀︎ — pairing: nerd/tutor azriel x bimbo/ditzy reader
☀︎ — summary: you tell azriel you don’t know what taxes are, and that you haven’t filed them ever
☀︎ — warnings: fluff, dramatic reader, azriel being sweet and educational
☀︎ — amara’s note: man i wish i was her rn💔 also this is so fucking real bc what on earth are taxes???
series masterlist
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“Baby, please, you have got to grasp the gravity of this situation. Not filing your taxes is no joke. You could end up behind bars for tax evasion! There was a whole mandatory course last semester, didn’t you take it?” Azriel's tone is firm, his concern painted all over his face as he stands infront of you.
When you revealed that you didn't know what taxes were or how to "file" them, Azriel got worried sick, emphasizing the importance of understanding basic responsibilities like this.
He brought you into the living room, seated you on the sofa, and stood in front of you, carefully explaining step by step why not filing taxes was illegal and how to fix the situation. However, no matter how hard you try, you can't focus on his words, your attention completely consumed by his built muscles. Your mind goes blank as you find yourself daydreaming about him taking off his shirt.
Azriel knows you’re not focusing on his words, he knows you’re ogling his body, and even though he gets warm and loves it, he needs you to focus on the topic, at least for a few minutes.
“Are you paying attention, baby?”
You honestly don’t get it at all. Like, if they take tax from you when you’re shopping, shouldn’t they already know how much you owe or whatever? And who even are the IRS? Can’t you just live your life without all this complicated stuff? Why does Azriel have to make everything so...ugh, what's the word? Complicated?
“Oh my god, Azzie! Stop it, I don’t wanna do this and I don’t understand anything. Please, I’m just a girl!” you exclaim dramatically pulling your knees to your chest as you hide your face in your hands, tears prickling in your eyes. You’re feeling completely overwhelmed by the situation and the sheer thought of dealing with stupid taxes.
Azriel sighs deeply, his brows furrowing as he takes off his glasses and rubs the bridge of his nose. If he doesn’t have a gray hair by the end of the week, he’ll consider it a win. As much as he wants you to understand what is wrong with basically committing a crime, he doesn’t want you crying, he feels sick to his stomach seeing you so sad but he just has to fucking ask.
“You’re—You're just a girl— sweetheart, what does that even mean?” he asks gently, completely flabbergasted by your statement.
You fold your arms over your chest, chin held high as you say, “Ya heard me, m’just a girl. And that means i should not be doing any of this, i should be living my best life instead of thinking about whatever taxes are.”
Azriel just looks at you with raised eyebrows, man you’re stressing him the fuck out. Luckily he caught your illegal activities early otherwise you would have gone to prison for sure. Even though he thinks it was ridiculous for a person to have never done their taxes ever, he doesn’t hold you against it. He just slumps his shoulders, taking a breather. Azriel can never be mad at you, never at his sweet angel. Especially not when you look so upset, big sparkly eyes looking at him with worry.
It’s in that moment. That tiny moment, he decides to never confront you with your mistakes. Sure you almost went to jail, but Azriel is here now. He is intelligent enough to think about the more serious issues for the both of you. And he will for the rest of his life, not because he has to, but because he wants to. He wants to take care of you.
“You’re right, my love, you shouldn’t worry about this. I’ll take care of it,” Azriel assures you, his tone gentle as he tucks a strand behind your ear.
You look up at him, eyes shiny with unshed tears as your face lights up before you stand up and jump into his arms, showering his face with kisses, your excitement bubbling over.
“Awe, you're the best baby, I love you so, so, soooo much!” you exclaimed, your words flowing freely in your ditzy excitement.
He laughs shyly, still getting nervous when you show him affection. “I love you too, beautiful.”
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🏷️: @ithan-holstroms-girl @whatdoyxumean @honeybeeboobaa @to-be-written @sidthedollface2 @stasiereads @andrewgarfield2022 @amara-moonlight @thescooby-gang @linoisqt @mischiefmanagers @tortured-artists @dwyniii @scoobies @harryshoobies69 @caroline-books @kalulakunundrum @meshelleexplosionmurder @danikamariewrites @clairebear08 @redbleedingrose @jeannineee @rowaelinsdaughter @nocasdatsgay @v3lv3tf0x @liati2000 @teenageeggscissorslawyer @impossibelle @stonerpersona @dreamlandreader @djaaaa @callmeblaire @thelov3lybookworm @polli05927 @ahitsalyssa @evergreenlark @thegirlintheshadows101 @saltedcoffeescotch @acourtofladydeath @acourtofwhatthefuck @readychilledwine @daycourtofficial @azriels-shadowsinger @sapphicmsmarvel @hungryforbatboys @justasillylittlegoofyguy @luvmoo @emryb @meritxellao @mochibabycakes @artists-ally @azzieslittlebunny @viatorem-maris @berryzxx @riddlesb1tch @sweetshifter @lilah-asteria
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ladcedes · 5 months
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melodrama
charles leclerc x musical theatre actress!reader, social media!au
summary a melodrama is defined as a dramatic piece with exaggerated characters and plot-lines that play to the audience’s emotions. when charles leclerc dates a queen of drama, there is bound to be some that seeps into his life.
notes yes, the title was from the lorde album. warning, google translated french
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the anniversary posts
yourusername
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Liked by lilymhe and 582.382 others
yourusername mon amour ❤️ i never could’ve imagined that i would spend 5 years with you… and i never imagined that i could find someone so amazing, who could make me feel like the most spectacular person in the world, the most special girl, yet also remind me of how human i am and how i’m allowed to be only human. you always manage to whisk me away from the pressures of life, push everything away, and make it feel like it’s just us in this world. you, my darling, are the comfort and calm of my soul. with you forever by my side, i can face anything
view 366 replies
12 March 2023
arthur_leclerc i can't believe it's been 5 years since you two started being publicly insufferable
⤷ charles_leclerc nous t'aimons aussi, arthur 🙄🙄🙄 (we love you, too, arthur)
carmenmmundt congrats on 5 years and cheers to many more!!
⤷ yourusername thank you love! ❤️
f1wagsite the caption is too sweet im jealous
⤷ ynfans2023 literally their relationship makes me wanna go in the bathtub with my hairdryer
charles_leclerc
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Liked by alex_albon and 906.438 others
charles_leclerc always the light on my darkest days, my sunshine when it rains, melting away all my worries and doubts, always bringing me up from the lowest of low points. you are my courage and strength. you shine so brightly that you light up everything around you, including myself. you bring out the best in me and love even the worst. you give warmth to the deepest corners of my soul. with you, i’m the best and most natural version of myself. these 5 years together have been the best years of my life, i wish i had met you sooner. even eternity isn’t enough to be with you, mon étoile ❤️
view 523 replies
12 March 2023
lewishamilton congratulations guys ❤️
pierregasly congrats on 5! so where's the ring mate? 😂😂
⤷ alexalbon seconding this 😂😂
⤷ hamilfans pierre?? ALEX?? do they know something we don't or are they playing??
valenciacia the caption??? ME WHENNN 😭😭😭😭😭
⤷ f1girliee RIGHTT like "even eternity isn't enough to be with you"???? i'm going crazy.
⤷ leclercwdc i'm about to go take a bath with my toaster rn
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charles_leclerc posted • 8/2/2023 | yourusername posted • 2/3/2023
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charles_leclerc
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Liked by pierregasly and 867.338 others
charles_leclerc my favourite actress ❤️ unbelievably proud of you, mon cherie @yourusername.
to be blessed with the love of such a hard-working, talented actress is an honour. you performed amazingly tonight and every other night before.
11 February 2023
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yourusername charlie you are such a sap (i love you so much)
⤷ charles_leclerc only for you darling (i love you more)
itsnessa they make me believe in love
⤷ loveleclerc real i don't know what i would do if they broke up
⤷ wdcleclerc i think i would lose hope in love
44britcedes my fav couple 🫶🫶🫶
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yourusername
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Liked by charles_leclerc and 724.198 others
yourusername all's well that ends well
3 May 2023
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myagramm is the ring on yn's finger a new addition orrrr
⤷ pierregasly i guess we found where the ring is
⤷ leclercism beating the breakup allegations with marriage allegations. only them.
⤷ myagramm PIERRE?? HELLO???
httpsainz is that ring what i think it is
solarpiastri im actually crying they rlly said fuck the break up rumours and decided to start up engagement rumours instead
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a/n: might make a part 2 if i feel like it in like 5 months
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wintabite · 13 days
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why don't you care?
GENRE! angst
NOTES! gn!reader, riki and reader r in school, wc: 484
SYNOPSIS! riki has a hard time expressing his emotions, which makes him come across as careless in your relationship
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another day passed without any texts from riki. it seems like nowadays, it's only you who's texting first, only you who's initiating any interaction. it's especially annoying having to walk to riki's house constantly just to see him, because he won't walk to yours. it was another one of those times, you stood at his door, knocking three times. the door unlocked, then slowly opened. riki seemed a bit surprised to see you, his hair was a bit messy, he looked tired.
"y/n! shit, did i not answer your message again?" he looked at you with apologetic eyes.
"mhm.." you hummed, nodding.
"my bad.. school and my new part time job have been taking over my life. wanna come in? i'm almost done my proje-"
"i don't want to, ki, it's fine. i just wanted to tell you in person that i miss you." you cut him off, your emotions slowly spilling out of your mouth. the words hit him with a wave of guilt.
"we can hangout? we can get food?" he tried to come up with something you'd want to do, he really wanted to make up for the time he didn't spend with you, and he wanted to cheer you up because you were visibly upset.
"keep yourself busy when i'm not there, like you do now, please. i don't want to make you sad, but i can't do this anymore." tears welled up in your eyes, threatening to spill, the same for riki.
"no, please y/n, please, i'm sorry!" he placed his hands on your shoulders gently, as if that could really push his message across to you.
"you never even said you loved me." the feeling of his touch was something you'd craved, and also something you'd miss.
"well, i do," he paused, tears of guilt, regret, and fear spilling from his eyes "i love you more than i ever thought i could. i didn't even know what love was until i met you." this was the most affectionate thing riki had ever said to you.
"you rarely hangout with me in school anymore too." at this point you had to look down at the ground, because if you looked at his face, you'd cry too.
"i suck, and i don't deserve you, but i really need you, y/n. can i please show you that i can be better, please?" he pleaded, which made you really consider it. after a few seconds of thought, you finally decided.
"don't do this again, my love, okay?" that's all you could manage before he stepped out of the house fully to engulf you in a hug, pushing your face into his chest, where you cried silently. he felt an immense amount of gratefulness for you in that moment, all of your memories rushed through his mind, which reminded him that he should cherish the important things in his life.
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a/n: jahahahhahdhahdhah angst. in nyc rn :D
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hwaslayer · 2 months
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project: make you love me (jyh) | sixteen.
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♣︎ spotify playlist | series masterlist
—summary: yunho can’t stand how you’re so wrapped up in the notorious campus fuckboy, park seonghwa. he would gladly love you the way you deserve, despite being shy, awkward and the complete opposite of seonghwa. thus, when he finds himself spending more time with you over literature reviews and random study sessions, he decides to take on the challenge to win you over.
—pairing: jeong yunho x f. reader
—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers/friends to lovers, college au | fluff, angst, smut
—word count: 3.6k
—chapter content/warnings: cussing/mature language, seonghwa, physical fighting, mingi calling his friend out on his stupidity, crying, sorry if i missed anything.. quickly edited this lol, yunho is just mad and overwhelmed with his feelings rn 😭
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yunho: baby
yunho: wait at the science building later, please? i'll come get you so we can walk to my car together
you: okee ☺️
yunho: ☺️ see you later? enjoy the rest of your classes
you: you too, my bighead!
Yunho smiles at his phone before tucking it away, slowly following Yeosang to their group study session.
"Should I even ask why you're smiling like that?" Yunho looks up at Yeosang and chuckles.
"Just Y/N."
"Of course. Is she in class?"
"Yup. She's in the back row being all distracted."
"Perfect way to pass time in my honest opinion." Yeo clears his throat. "I've been meaning to ask you out of curiosity."
"What's up?"
"Have you guys told each other 'I love you' and everything?" 
"Mm, no. Not yet at least."
"Not yet?" Yeosang smiles. "You feel that way for her, don't you?"
"I do. I just.. I don't know? I don't know if it's too soon. What if I scare her off?"
"Nah, doubt that. You can't put a timer on these things."
"True. Plus, it sounds cliché and like it's out of a movie, but I truly wanna wait 'till it feels right to say it to her."
"That makes sense."
"Trust me, I really do feel that way for her." He lets out a breath as they look towards the library building, the sun from behind slightly blinding them as they approach the doors. "She has literally become my bestfriend. It's crazy how life works."
"I know. I remember when you first told me you were helping her out for literature." Yeosang chuckles. "Or when you'd save her in the back lot."
"Still can't believe that was even real." Yunho does a tiny head tilt. "He's really something."
"What was up with Y/N's birthday thing? How did he even know?"
"I don't know. Word gets around fast. Why wouldn't Seonghwa know? Especially since it has to do with Y/N."
"Can't wait till the day he leaves you two alone. Must be fucking annoying to deal with."
"I try not to mind it. Though, I think he's been getting bolder lately and I can't put my finger on it."
"Has Y/N said anything?" He shakes his head.
"No. Maybe I'm just overthinking. She just seemed a little weird about him at her birthday party."
"Well, yeah. It's Seonghwa." Yeosang waves at their study group sitting at the far end of the library in the loud section.
"Yeah, but, I don't know. It was different. She seemed bothered about something but she hasn't told me anything. I assume it's not a big deal."
"Hm. Well, I'm sure it's not either. Just Seonghwa being himself, maybe."
"Mm, whatever though." Yunho greets the study group as they approach the table. "She's my girlfriend now, and that won't change." Yeosang gives him a small smile before they settle with the group and begin their long study session together.
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"Remember, we have a test next class. Make sure you study everything I included in the study guide. Don't skip on anything just because you think it's a minor detail! Nothing is minor!" Your professor says before dismissing the class. You let out a sigh, already stressing over the next test. You didn't do bad on the first test, but you also didn't do the greatest. Thankfully, you're still at a good point in the semester, which gives you enough time to pull your grade up.
Once the initial rush of people leaving the classroom dies down, you pack up your things and head out the door. You hurry out of the classroom and down the steps, excited to see your boyfriend after yet another long day. For a split second, the building is crowded with other students leaving their classes and heading to their next destination— whether it be the next class, the library or to their cars. It's a sudden swarm of people that you don't even realize Seonghwa had stepped out of his own class, following you down the corridor.
"Y/N." You hear Seonghwa's voice behind you. You try to mind your own business, subtly rolling your eyes as you walk out of the science building to reunite with Yunho. 
Except, he isn't exactly there yet and Seonghwa grabs you by the wrist.
"Y/N." He repeats, turning you to face him.
"What are you doing?" You question him.
"Just a second." You let out a loud, heavy sigh. "Why are you being like this?"
"Like what?"
"Like you ignoring me. You haven't answered any of my texts or calls—"
"Why do I need to?" You raise a brow. "You're not actually serious, right? I have no reason to respond to you, Seonghwa. Don't you have places to be, people to see?" You pause. "Don't you realize you're a little too late? This was something I needed from you way before. I don't need it from you now."
"I know it's late, but I don't wanna give up on this."
"This? This has been done for a long time, you and I both know that. You're only worried about losing the only safety blanket you've ever had. Why can't you just move on and let me be happy?"
"Happy?" Seonghwa almost scoffs. "With him? Okay, baby." He shakes his head. "Listen. Enough of this for real. Can you please just hear me out, I'll explain and apologize properly—"
"Seonghwa, stop calling me that. What don't you understand about no?" You say almost at a whine, his hand still having a grip on the edge of your wrist. You truly don't want to entertain this, but Seonghwa almost gives you no way out, no way around his bullshit, and unfortunately, that'll be the root of everything that unfolds tonight. Yunho is happily [and eagerly] making his way down to you after the long, heavy study group session, while Yeosang decides he's gonna stay behind in order to hit the gym and get his workout in. Yunho is a few minutes late, but he knows you'll still flash him that beautiful, million-watt smile he adores so much before wrapping your arms around him.
He can't wait.
But, Yunho slows in his steps just as he's close to the front doors; familiar voices filling the surprisingly empty, quiet space.  It's you, and he already feels himself boiling with anger when he hears who else is occupying your time right now.
"Why haven't you even said anything about the flowers and the card I gave you? Did you even get them?" Yunho overhears Seonghwa ask you, and he furrows his brows. What flowers and card? You don't answer right away, and Seonghwa is quick to follow up. Yunho doesn't even get to hear your response about it and the most upsetting part of all this— is that this is how he finds out about everything.
Not from you, but from Seonghwa.
"You couldn't even send me a text? I was worried you didn't get it. I wanted to talk to you afterwards."
"What is there to talk about?"
"Yeah, what is there to talk about?" You and Seonghwa turn towards Yunho, who stands there with his hands dug deep into his pockets. His jaw is slightly clenched, head titled to the side while he waits for a response. Seonghwa lets out a pathetic chuckle, hand slipping down your wrist as he fully faces him.
"Loverboy sounds upset over a little talk."
"A little talk? Is that an add-on for the flowers and card you sent her?" Yunho sounds more stern, more angry. You can't even blame him, but at the same time, it's unusual for you to hear him this way. You're not sure what could come out of this and you don't necessarily want to find out.
"I'm sorry, should I have sent you some, too?" Seonghwa steps closer to him and the panic starts to settle in for you. You wish someone, anyone, was around to help. Because although you don't think Yunho will let this blow out of proportion, you aren't 100% about your answer. You're not sure how Yunho manages his anger in these situations and you're not sure what triggers him; what tips him over the edge and is the 'cherry on top.' Seonghwa has always rubbed him the wrong way and you don't think this could end remotely pretty. "I'll take note of that for next time so you don't have to sit there and stare at Y/N's."
How you wish Seonghwa had just gotten the point. Why couldn't he just let you be? Why was he out to ruin your happiness so badly?
"Seonghwa. This is done. Let it go." You warn him, but it doesn't clear anything. You aren't getting through to any of them.
"Back up. I'm not asking." Yunho clenches his jaw as he comes face to face with Seonghwa, making him give off a small scoff.
"Aw. Loverboy's mad—" And that's exactly the tipping point for Yunho. He's not sure why, he usually has a lot of patience. He usually brushes things off easily, doesn't hold a grudge or stay angry for long. But, Seonghwa? He was a different story, especially because of the history you have with him. Every little thing about Seonghwa pisses him off— down to the way he moves, breathes, acts like he can always get his way so easily, so quickly. Before he can even think about the consequences, or how you'd feel, Yunho swings at him, making Seonghwa stumble backwards. 
"Yunho!—" You gasp, Yunho's initial punch is pretty rough that it had Seonghwa in shock before being able to register what just happened.
"Fuck you—" Is all Seonghwa spits out before going at Yunho. The two continue to go at it, pushing and gripping at each other's shirts, rough attempts at landing punches;
They're almost successful with tearing each other's heads off until you step in between and get involved.
"Stop!" You step in between to try and prevent the fight from escalating even more. "Stop it!" You push Seonghwa back when he tries coming for Yunho, a campus security guard dashing towards all of you to completely break up the scuffle.
"Knock it off! The hell are you two doing acting like this on campus? I suggest you two part ways now before we call the cops over!"
"Yo, what the fuck?!" Mingi comes from around the corner, grabbing at Seonghwa's arm to pull him back. "The fuck are you doing, dude?" He looks at his bestfriend in disbelief.
"Why don't you ask your friend who fucking started it—"
"Me?" Yunho spits, while Seonghwa wipes the blood at the corner of his lip. "I wouldn't have had to if you just knew how to back the fuck off!" Yunho is angry, continuing to raise his voice. "Let me catch you sending shit to my girlfriend one more time and see what the fuck I'll do—" 
"Yunho." You say softly, tugging back at his arm.
"Are you serious?" Mingi looks at Seonghwa. "You don't go messing around with people's relationships, Hwa. You need to let this go, you look crazy!" 
"Oh, so all of a sudden you're sticking up for your friend?"
"Yeah, because he is my friend and it's just shit you don't do! What the fuck don't you understand about that?! You fucking deserved that shit!" Mingi shakes his head before pushing Hwa forward, pulling him off to the side to continue talking to him. 
"Babe." You turn to Yunho after Mingi and Seonghwa create good distance, hand coming up to cup Yunho's cheek. But, he turns, slightly shaking his head at you. You pull your hand back and feel your heart drop, the look in Yunho's eyes being one that you've never experienced before.
Sadness, hurt, anger. 
Mostly sadness, hurt.
"What flowers was he talking about, Y/N?" His chest is still rising at a somewhat uneven pace, doing his best to calm down after the adrenaline rush.
"H-he left them at my doorstep after we came back from the snow. I'm really sorry, Yunho, I didn't tell you because I tossed it out and—"
"But still, it's the fact that you didn't tell me after all this time." Yunho's brows are tightly knitted together, and the look causes your heart to sink even deeper. "Why did you have to let me find out this way? Were you going to tell me about this too if I hadn't come right away?"
"I just didn't get around to telling you because I didn't think it would matter— Seonghwa doesn't matter."
"If he didn't, then wouldn't you be able to tell me without questioning it so much?"
"Yunho, no. I'm sorry, no." You repeat, tears pricking your eye lids. "I didn't mean for it to seem like that. I really didn't mean to hide this from you."
"Did you think about keeping them?"
"I—I, no. I thought—" Yunho hears you stuttering and his throat suddenly feels dry. Why can't you just tell him? Even if Seonghwa didn't matter to you, why couldn't you trust him enough to tell him? 
Why couldn't you feel comfortable enough to tell him?
"Be honest with me, Y/N. That's all I've ever asked. Did you or did you not think about it keeping it?" Silence. And god, it is the most gut-wrenching silence Yunho has ever endured.
Yup. Got it. 
The answer is clear.
You did think about Seonghwa. You thought about accepting the flowers as his apology, you thought about the possibility— even if it was for a brief, splitting second. Seonghwa did matter for one fucking second, and that's what bothers him.
"Yunho, please. I just thought—" You can barely get through your sentences.
"Did you, or did you not?"
"I thought about keeping it, but it was so stupid. I was just blinded for a second, and I realized it didn't matter to me. He doesn't matter to me. At all. I promise. Everything just caught me off guard." You try to grab for his hand but he steps back. "Yunho, it was all stupid. I tossed it out so quickly. I wasn't going to do anything, I wasn't going to text, nothing."
"But, why does it feel like after everything he's put you through, you still believe he'd genuinely change? Why does it feel like a part of you is still actually holding onto that?" Well, when Yunho says it to your face like that, you feel dumb. Not once did you ever think about running back to Seonghwa and leaving this behind. But, you were blinded in that quick second from your history with Hwa, being close and sharing moments for months. Asking Seonghwa for little gestures like this, for more attention; even though it was a ride, you still had history.
And yes, maybe at one point you wanted to be the girl that changed him.
But today, you can't even imagine going back to that point. Not after being with Yunho, not after the happiness he's brought you.
Not after you realize how much you genuinely and truly love Yunho. 
You don't wanna lose him.
This is all so stupid, and a huge misunderstanding. But, you're the only person to blame here— if you hadn't given Seonghwa the time of day, if you had just told Yunho right away without second-guessing it, if you hadn't hesitated; you wouldn't be here right now.
"I'm not!" Your tone raises and it sounds like a whine at this point. "I'm not, Yunho. Please."
"Look, tonight was a lot." He sighs, running his hand through his hair before wincing and looking down at his knuckles. "I was excited to see you after a long day, Y/N. I was really looking forward to being with you. I wasn't expecting all of this and honestly, I don't know what's worse? Stumbling upon all of this the way I did, or not knowing at all."
"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. It was stupid and fucked up of me, and I'm sorry." You repeat, tears streaming down your cheeks.
"Maybe you just need to think about what you really want." Yunho shrugs. "I thought you were over the whole thing with Seonghwa, but clearly not if you're still considering on giving him the time of day."
"No, no, Yunho. Please don't. It's not that." You try to lace your hand with his, but he gently brushes it off with a shaky sigh. He doesn't wanna leave you. He never wants to be without you. But, tonight was a lot for him to handle, and it is overwhelming. He hasn't really felt this protective over someone. Of course, it's only natural since you're his girlfriend. He'll always protect you. It's just that Seonghwa brings something out of him that he doesn't necessarily like, and he wants it to be gone for good. It feels unhealthy and icky;
The anger, the frustration, the anxiety.
He hates it. And he doesn't want this to be a thing in your relationship. Plus, he still feels himself fuming with anger and he just can't possibly talk to you while he feels that way.
So yes, he's overwhelmed and he needs to get over this.
"No, seriously. You really should think about it. I know where I stand but I'm not so sure you do." He lets out another disappointed sigh. "I'll take you home, but we should probably just be in our own places tonight."
"Okay." You say close to a whisper, sniffling as you wipe away at your face. You don't even try to fight it anymore simply because you know Yunho needs his space right now. He begins to walk off with you slowly trailing behind, head hung low after everything that happened tonight. Everything happened so fast you're also having to process it all on this walk over to the lot. Suddenly, you're pulled out of your thoughts when you hear footsteps picking up behind you, followed by a familiar, deep voice.
"Yo, wait up!" Mingi says. "You good? I'm sorry about him, he's actually losing it."
"You're sorry? Mingi, when the fuck is your friend gonna grow up so that you're not apologizing on his behalf?" Mingi lets out a breath as his eyes dart from you, back to Yunho's. "Seriously. I don't mean to throw that your way, but it's not even just about tonight. Your friend knows no boundaries and that's crazy to me."
"I know, he's got things to sort through but that's his own problem now. I already told him multiple times. Me and San did." Mingi shakes his head.
"Doesn't take much to grow the fuck up and take ownership of your own fuck-ups once in awhile."
"Let him keep learning the hard way. He will, eventually. He deserved that tonight."
"He can try all he wants, nothing's gonna change between me and her. Hope he understands I'm not going anywhere after tonight."
"Of course." Is all Mingi could respond with because of course Yunho wouldn't go anywhere— why the fuck would he let Seonghwa get in the way? He shouldn't. And Seonghwa needs to know that. "Anyway, just wanted to see if you two were okay. For real." Yunho sighs.
"Mmyeah. Thanks." He responds as Mingi daps it up. "We're just gonna head home."
"Drive safely. Text me if you need me." Mingi gives you a small smile before running off to tend to his friends, San now also getting dragged into all his mess. 
The walk over is quiet, but Yunho still opens the passenger door for you when you finally get to his car. You hate the silence that falls between you two, but you understand Yunho is upset and needs his own time away from everything, from you, even. You can't help but cry even more into your hands when he pulls into the apartment lot, Yunho letting out a breath as he puts the car in park. He looks over at you and his heart breaks because he truly hates to see you cry, and he never wants to be the reason behind you being sad or hurt.
"Hey. Don't." He says softly, hands coming up to pry your own hands away from your face. He gently wipes the tears away, making sure no drop is missed. 
"I'm sorry, Yuyu." You repeat.
"I know, it's okay."  He says, even though right now, it's not.
"Is it?"
"Let's get you home, okay?" He just looks at you with a soft expression before unbuckling his seatbelt. He comes over to open your door, locking his car when you step out and slowly make your way to your apartment. When you get to the steps, you turn towards him with a small pout. Yunho pulls you into a hug and kisses the top of your head, wiping any remaining stragglers from staining your cheeks. He's not happy, but he's trying to send you off on a calm note— hoping this could at least ease you for the night. "Get some rest."
"I'll see you tomorrow, right?" He doesn't say anything before he pulls away and takes a few steps backwards. "Yunho." You call for him in that tone of yours that always makes him so weak.
"Y/N, please. I just need to shake this off. That's all. Goodnight." All you can do is simply walk away before running up the steps and into your apartment. Chaery is the only one home, cleaning her dishes after cooking a good meal for all of you to share.
"My love is home! I cooked!" She says happily, but her smile dies when she sees you set your bags down and cry into your hands. She drops everything and rushes over, throwing her arms around you while guiding you to the couch. "Hey, what's wrong? What happened?" She brushes the hair away from your face while you continue to cry. You don't respond for a bit, signaling for Chaery to just hold you and let you be.
You cry, and you cry.
Because you already miss Yunho, and you feel so dumb for overthinking the entire thing, for not being honest with him. It was a stupid mistake, but you hope Yunho knows you truly weren't out to hurt him. 
You hope he can forgive you and move past this— with you, together.
Because today and so on, he's all you want. You love Yunho, and there's no one else that completes you the way that he does.
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mentos-or-mentoes · 3 months
Text
Helluva Boss x Insomniac! Reader. Headcanons
With: Asmodeus, Fizzarolli, Stolas and Loona
Asmodeus
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Asmodeus runs a nightclub type establishment. (Or atleast i think thats what Ozzies is). So he's used to being up late.
He does take note of you, always seeming to be awake, no matter the time.
Doesn't really do much, because as long as nothing really seems to be wrong he won't want to bother you about it.
Is kinda sad he doesn't get to sleep with you as much tho (In the cuddly kind not the sexual kind).
One day decides to ask you about it, mainly from curiosity.
When you tell him that you're an insomniac he kinda gets surprised.
But after thinking about it he does kinda think he should have realized earlier.
Will try to stay up with you on the nights where he doesn't have to do much the next day (Which is rarely).
Fizzarolli
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Fizz has alot of energy some times, and on thoose days he does have difficulty sleeping.
Usually just rubs one out or has some ''fun time'' with you, or just alone.
He does however notice that on the same nights he can't sleep, neither can you.
When you do tell him that you're an insomniac (if he didn't already put 2 and 2 together). He'll likely ask something along the lines of, ''So whats keepin' ya up babes?''
Will cuddle with you if you'd prefer to do that in order to try and fall asleep.
Might suggest some medication for falling asleep. Or try and get drunk as hell with you.
Sometimes will wrap his arms around you if he feels like you've been getting too little sleep.
Loona
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She has a habit of falling asleep at I.M.P when having nothing else to do, or sometimes when she just feels like it.
Is probably the quickest to notice your lack of sleeping.
She will likely ask you about it because its keeping her up at night.
When you tell her about you either really struggeling with getting sleep or just not being able to sleep at all, she gets uhhhh, a bit confused.
Like how can you NOT fall asleep at that boring office, or in a comfortable bed?
Will rarely pick you up so she can lay with you while she sleeps, and hopefully have you fall asleep as well.
She once tried to play some music and stuff to try and see if that helped.
She to awoke to some shitty song and her phone reccomending more of said shitty songs.
Just kinda accepts that you don't fall asleep nowadays.
Not like its gonna prevent her from sleeping either.
Stolas
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Stolas has a giant comfy bed, so why he finds you awake at 3 am in the kitchen just doing whatever, is something thats on his mind.
Will ask you about it being concerned that you might be having nightmares or something keeping you awake.
If you do tell him about your insomnia, he will be a bit relieved that you aren't awakening from nightmares.
Allthough he might be wondering if something is keeping you up unless you clarify that to him.
Will try to use spells to see if that helps you, if you want to try it out.
if not then cuddles will do.
He LOVES cuddles.
If you cant sleep then can you atleast cuddle untill he falls asleep? He would like it if you did.
Stolas will try anything and everything to help you sleep, if you wanna go to sleep that is.
If not then he'll be content once he realizes that you'll always be there, if he has a nightmare or just wants a lil kiss.
(Sorry for if you guys wanted a different character but im not trying to spend eternity writing for every character i can think of rn. Also sorry if they arent too accurate, i will accept any criticism and try to improve).
Requests are open. So ask if you want
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