#but honestly im just happy they care about the dumb shit i do

[remalldere]

sometimes I hallucinate about having a third nostril, I feel it completely vividly until I touch my nose and go "wtf where did it go" then "ah right"

...what?

#i think i know who asked this #but honestly im just happy they care about the dumb shit i do #also preston please dont flood my ask box with more of these istg

[lunaetiicsaystuff]

DAYLIGHT

part 1 , part 2

lando norris x fem!oc

( yes, its gonna be a series and yes, i guess this is my comeback on tumblr)

summary: Adaezela Samu and Lando Norris have called each other their best friends for as long as they can both remember, until one of them decides to deal with the raising tension between them.

landonorris

liked by carlossainz55 , mclaren , georgerussell63 , and 735,372 others...

crazy girl broke in and stole food from f1 driver Lando Norris, please send help

adaezelasamu at least shes not martha level of crazy, you should be grateful

⤷landonorris im very much happy with this crazy girl

alex_albon weird, it also happened to me but the crazy girl was different 🤔

⤷landonorris then it must be a common thing, better lock the doors guys

⤷lilymhe ahahaha you are so funny

⤷adaezelasamu come here wifey, I'll defend us both 👩🏾‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏻

⤷lilymhe my hero 💗💖💘💓💕💖💓

lilymhe wow send her my address i want her to break in my house too

⤷adaezelasamu OMW

⤷landonorris lily stop stealing MY best friend 😐😐

user1 its the way alex was talking about lily, his gf, and lando just went "it happens to all of us ig 🙂" as if adaezela was his gf lmaoo

user2 SHE LOOKS SO GOOD HOW

user3 she has such pretty smile omg 🥹

carlossainz55 what did you cook ada

⤷adaezelasamu some appetizers and then a pasta cacio and pepe, of course everything was great as usual

⤷carlossainz55 you will have to prepare us something one day

⤷landonorris nope she only cooks for me and herself actually 😁😁

⤷adaezelasamu not true, stop lying 😁😁😁

⤷landonorris you just broke my heart 😁😁😁😁

⤷adaezelasamu i dont care 😁😁😁😁😁

⤷carlossainz55 you two are so dumb i swear

georgerussell63 carmen says hi!

⤷adaezelasamu tell her i say that I miss her!!!! 💞💞💞💞💞💞

⤷landonorris why are you all so affectionate with my ady 😕😕

⤷georgerussell63 jealous much?

⤷landonorris yes she was my best friend first

⤷adaezelasamu lando, there is plenty of me to share between carmen, lily and you

⤷landonorris no comment

user4 shes very pretty, how long have then been together?

⤷user5 never, they are TECHNICALLY childhood best friends but everyone can see they basically in love with each others

⤷user4 oh

user6 the way lando is jealous of how much attention the others are giving to her lmfao 😭😭

⤷user7 its the way he's always saying MY best friend, MY ady , man is whipped

user8 lando could you please win the next grand prix? thank you 🧡🧡🧡🧡

user9 i missed seeing adaezela

more...

adaezelasamu

liked by landonorris , lnfour, charles_leclerc, lilymhe and 219,678 others...

somebody tell this man to let me go home PLEASE

landonorris NOOOO

landonorris LET ME BOTHER YOU FOREVERRRR

user1 oh to be adaezela, complaining about lando norris wanting to be with you 24/7

⤷user2 FR like pass him to me if you dont want him 😭😭

user3 mama y papa

landonorris she doesn't want to leave anymore 🤪🤪

⤷adaezelasamu you literally gaslighted me because you were sCaReD or wtv

⤷landonorris YOU DONT KNOW WHAT SHE COULD DO

⤷adaezelasamu POLICE OFFICERS ARE LITERALLY OUTSIDE OF MY HOUSE TO PREVENT HER FROM DOING WEIRD SHIT??

⤷landonorris yeah but what if 😕

⤷adaezelasamu there you go, making me feel bad again

⤷landonorris 😕😕😕😕😕😕😕

⤷adaezelasamu FINE ill sleep here

⤷user4 honestly what the fuck is fuck is happening?? like police officers outside of Adaezela'a house? lando being scared for her??

lilymhe babe call me plsss🙂

⤷adaezelasamu yes ma'am 🫡

user5 what kind of life are these two living like wtf 😭😭

carlossainz55 what is happening

⤷landonorris ill call you carlos dw

⤷user6 so not even lily or carlos knows what's going on??

charles_leclerc how is he even sleeping there

⤷landonorris talent

⤷adaezelasamu hes just weird charles dont ask questions

⤷user7 PLSSSS ADAEZELA 😭😭

user8 couple goals honestly

⤷user9 exactly, i want what these bitches have 😭

user10 what is happening??? I hope both of them are ok cause wtf

⤷adaezelasamu guys dont worry, both me and lando are fine! we just had an encounter with a crazy fan

#lando norris #ln4 #lando norris social media au #childhood friends to lovers #formula one #f1 #f1 instagram au #f1 smau #lando norris insta au #mclaren #lando norris 4 #f1 drivers

[fatuismooches]

I bring to thee more of my brainrot....

GRAAAAAHHHHH AKADEMIYA DOTTORE AWOOOOOOOOOAWOOOOOOOO BARKBARKBARK

I wish i could transport myself to genshin so i can be with him at the akademiya...

totally self indulgent but... some random student just flirting with a confused reader and dottore looking at them from afar like an angry kitten about to pounce on some poor prey because HOW DARE THEY.... Reader is clearly leagues above them. Reader is HIS assistant, they have no need for such trivial things. Eventually he gets so mad he just storms up and pulls reader away, reader is so confused and keeps asking him whats wrong, once they notice his (obvious) jealousy they smirle and tease him about it (he is not pleased and starts putting readers books on higher surfaces cuz he's a lil shit)

IDK IM SO UNWELL... I really like jealous dottore... he is so down bad... - 🐓

One thing about Akademiya Dottore is that he won't admit a lot of his emotions. Yes, he'll admit how annoyed and irritated and pissed off he is. But he won't admit it when he's happy, when he's excited, when he's in love... when he's jealous.

Zandik has felt jealous before, such as annoyed that others are accepted but not him. But never jealous in this context. Which is why the feeling that gnaws at him when he sees another student so close to you is completely infuriating, annoying, bothersome, you get the point. He hates it. He hates feeling this way... it's utterly unbecoming of a scholar such as himself. And he also hates you for making him feel this way. Why have you done this to him? Why have you affected him so much, messing with his mind and body like this? He's supposed to be focusing on his research, but all he can do is keep sneaking glasses at you and the student. He gives in when he sees their arm sneak up to rest on your shoulder. Talking is one thing, but touching what's his? Oh no, the Akademiya's Outcast is standing behind you in a matter of seconds which obviously gives the poor student a heart attack.

Oh you tease Zandik so much for being jealous, it's honestly incredibly amusing,, you know he always gave the eye to anyone who dared to look at you for too long but jealous? This is completely new,, you didn't even know he had it in him. In a way it's rather enamoring... because he finally loves you enough to feel jealous over you. Before he couldn't care less about you,, so real cute stuff! (He makes you get on the ladder to get all the high-up books in the House of Daena as punishment </3 and flat-out ignores you if you keep teasing him,, he's not entertaining ANYTHING. He just tells you not to do it again.)

(It's just another thing he finds very tiring, is how smart you are yet how dumb you can be. Can you really not see how this buffoon is trying to flirt with you? It's exasperating really, to have to save you from these idiots. You should be grateful he's here to save you from such fools. This is his excuse whenever you try to make fun of him. As if you didn't save him from getting beat on multiple occasions...)

#smooches talks #🐓 anon #dottore love notes <3 #I LOVE JEALOUS DOTTORE #he gets jealous easy when he was younger but as he gets older and more secure he doesnt #but he still can! youve seen it when you started spending too much time with your harbinger friends #i honestly dont think i would survive in the akademiya but id do it for dottore

[marinerendevouz]

enemies to lovers with knights

ft. izumi sena, leo tsukinaga, ritsu sakuma, tsukasa suou, arashi narukami

izumi sena

• you were probably a fellow model in the industry, so izumi, by default, saw you as competition (you must be eliminated)

• he and his beloved yuu-kun are actually the only models ever - izumi sena

• was probably (definitely) intimidated by your beauty, and didn’t want to admit every time he saw you pop up im a magazine that he felt a strange tinge in his chest

• he brushed it off as frustration

• Izumi Sena Ultimate Tsundere 2022

• was asked about you in an interview once and could NOT stop going off about you. his fans were immediately hooked on your relationship (?) now. What relationship ????

• both of your producers definitely caught on to this and scheduled for you two to do a photoshoot together

• izumi was PANICKED and had no idea why. HE’S SO DUMB i hate him

• glared at you the entire shoot. you probably just looked like this (¬_¬")

• it would take him literal MONTHS to even come to terms with him maybe, sort of, definitely, finding you attractive

• knights would be sick and tired of his bs at that point, he would not stop talking about you

• “yeah, and they’re freakishly pretty and naturally photogenic it’s sooooo~ annoying!”

• “IZUMI YOU DUMB BITCH” - naru after She Snaps

• naru would definitely try and befriend you after izumi will not take a mf hint😭 she gives you tips on modelling that eventually go from ‘haha yeah this foundation is the best’ to ‘please go out with izumi sena i cannot handle him anymore’

• you would honestly just find the entire ordeal amusing tbh

• it is very obvious that he is. emotionally constipated. (UNDERSTATEMENT) so you would have to take action first

• it would be fun to tease him at first tho!! give him smug smiles and challenging looks

• he would get outrageously mad omfg HIS FACE WOULD LITERALLY BE SO RED

• izumi sena wins best tomato award for midori’s grocery shop real !

• midori has contacted me and he does not want to be involved i take it back guys

• once you do finally decide to take action, izumi would be so surprised even tho?? he has been the one pining after you for so long??

• “izumi sena i think you are an extremely beautiful and caring person pls go on a date with me”

• “WHAT”

• couple photoshoots become a regular awwww

• naru is so proud (she’s making a wedding photo book already) (ritsu has not known of your existence until this moment)

leo tsukinaga

• okay, consider: being izumi’s younger sibling

• you get jealous over izumi and leo being so close… izumi is YOUR older brother grrrr growl eyes turn red you go alpha mode

• especially since leo made him so worried in the past, he took away your brother from you (╥﹏╥)

• LEO WOULD NOT TAKE A HINT. he thinks that you two are super close great friends and you should get matching friendship bracelets

• “listen here you little shit, STAY AWAY FROM IZU-CHAN”

• his ass is Not listening 😭😭

• he drags you out on little adventures whenever izumi is busy, you are ready to BITE this bitch

• you probably do. leo would not even react

• ???

• much like your older brother, you would eventually pick up the habit of taking care of leo subconsciously

• you bring extra cleaning supplies for when he decides to vandalise public property, and always make sure he is taking care of himself

• he really likes it when you brush his hair for him! turns into a little kitty cat

• he is The el gato…

• you say it’s just to make sure he isn’t bothering izumi too much, but it does start to feel different as time goes on

• maybe you do actually want to take care of him because you GENUINELY want him to be safe and happy

• idk bro sounds kinda unbelievable…

• being emotionally constipated runs in the family i think

• leo is not at all uncomfortable with giving profound love confessions, he does it often, so why does it feel so strange to hear him say it to people other than you?

• it’s not like you want to be the only person he loves, right?

• OH SHIT

• if you ever decide to confide in your brother for this OH DEAR LORD

• gives you the biggest lecture of your life, but cannot hide the fondness in his eyes while doing so

• secretly the biggest support of you and leo

• IZUMI BEST OLDER BROTHER EVER !!

• makoto disagrees (Be quiet makoto) (this is Not about you)

• “:(“ - makoto

• when you do confess to leo, he just laughs

• you know that wahahaha type shit

• was probably convinced that you have been dating for the past 6 months

• cue you hitting him over the head and yelling at him for making such Bold accusations

• at least you get kisses at the end of it

• congrats you now basically just adopted a child ! or a cat ! maybe both.

ritsu sakuma

• you, mao and ritsu are all childhood friends

• the cutest trio ever fr

• everyone presumes the three of you get along swimmingly

• well… sort of

• you and ritsu are EXTREMELY competitive for mao’s affections

• mao is just like so ❤️❤️❤️ it’s understandable you both want him all to yourself

• you won’t him

• anyway

• everytime ritsu clung to mao’s arm, he’d peek around to give you a cheeky look and stick his tongue out at you

• at the ripe age of 6 you were already flipping him off

• as you grew older, you lecture ritsu about giving mao more of a workload with his laziness, but he wouldn’t listen at all

• his ass is Not listening pt. 2

• funnily, however, you get along greatly with his older brother

• you gladly look at embarrassing photos of ritsu (which you were there to witness) to which ritsu contemplates MURDER

• eyeing his gun rn

• you and rei are just giggling to yourselves like school girls and ritsu wants to curl into a ball and die

• ‘then perish’ - you

• mao would bring up one day that you seem much more empty whenever ritsu isn’t around

• AS IF ?????

• well, it does feel lonely…

• even with mao around, it just isn’t the same without… he who must not be named

• “oh so you have pet names for each other now awww” “MAO SHUT UP”

• you eventually become the one to kick him in his side whenever he is sleeping in obscene locations and he just like. gives you such an evil look every damn time

• but is secretly disappointed whenever it isn’t you waking him up…

• is 10x more annoyed with whoever it is

• naru cries to you about how he called her a dumb ugly ass bitch when she interrupted his nap

• BUT ALSO HOW HE SAID YOUR NAME IMMEDIATELY WHEN HE WOKE UP ???

• your face goes red at this comment which naru teases you about

• being childhood friends, you actually trust him and lot and vice versa

• gossiping with him is otherworldly he would trash talk ANYONE

• confessing wouldn’t even be that challenging tbh, it would be chill

• “so we are both in agreement never to tell maa-kun about this” “oh absolutely”

• mao knew from the beginning this would happen btw

• he has a letter he wrote at 5 about how he wants to attend your future wedding

• “ritsu plees let mi b yor best man frum mao”

• now you and ritsu compete for each other’s affections !!

• in a weird way??? you’ll be like “ooh you wanna kiss me so bad”

• it all comes full circle

• mao brings everyone together

• i love mao sorry

• LOVE RITSU MORE THO #livelaughritsu

tsukasa suou

• you guys have rich people beef. sorry i don’t make the rules (i do) but your families are extremely competitive against each other

• your earliest memories of tsukasa were seeing him cling to his mother’s arm as a little toddler, his oversized bow tie askew and eyes wide with wonder

• and it made you feel so much rage

• he knows Nothing of the highs and lows of the economy

• disclaimer: you are not a capitalist

• even as a 5 year old, you knew he was a little bitch

• specifically that he was a bitch. your first words were probably stocks. your first sentence was i’m on the grind

• anyways, you disliked how he was born with a silver spoon between his lips

• your family had to WORK to get to the standing they are at. tsukasa was just born into riches and fame which ticked you off

• tsukasa saw you as competition too, and your frustration towards him only fuelled the mutual hatred

• RICH PEOPLE BEEF !!

• on the other hand, you and tori…

• BFFS FOR LIFE !! TSUKASA HATE CLUB FR !!

• tsukasa was always a tiny, little, tad bit jealous that you and tori were so close

• he wanted to have rich people tea parties with you two… :’(

• once tsukasa became the official king of knights, you envied him so much omg

• he’s the future head of the suou household AND a highly established idol??

• why does he get everything…

• to investigate this, you attended one of knights’ concerts. your curiosity got the best of you

• once the stage lit up and they started performing you were blown tf away

• bro is magnificent 💀

• you couldn’t take your eyes off of the stage, their choreography kept you eagerly awaiting for the next song

• afterwards you, as professionally as possible, let tsukasa know your thoughts on his performance

• “you performed well. i was thoroughly entertained. it was adequate. well done.”

• tsukasa feels. very strange at your words

• naru elbows him in the side and makes suggestive kissy noises

• tsukasa feels Very strange now

• from that day forward, you try to be civil when conversing with tsukasa

• he is always searching for your praise and congratulations. it always feels so much warmer when you say nice things to him !!

• oh yeah. you also become a knights superfan. you have (almost!) all of their merch and stream their songs 24/7

• yes even voice of sword. knights in the studio be like this sounds boring as fuck drop it (i love them i swear)

• tsukasa notices you have a knights tote bag one day and questions you on it. your entire face goes red and you make up some fake reason to excuse yourself

• tsukasa is just ???

• as embarrassing as it is, tsukasa does become your bias…

• his charming stage personality and sweet voice got you hooked

• the day he invites you out on a Date(?) of some kind, you are over the moon

• your own pride would never have let you ask him out of your own volition, so him asking you was a relief

• you go to a quaint café with a lot of sweet treats for you to snack on !!

• knights spies on your date(?). Btw

• you notice them immediately

• surprisingly leo does not make a convincing bush

• at the end of the date(?), you give him a peck on the cheek and run away

• you guys are so wholesome actually

• he swoons

• it was definitely a date.

• “they grow up so fast!” “narukami-senpai please shut up”

arashi narukami

• YOU ARE ENEMIES WITH NARU?? HOW?? i genuinely cannot see anyone hating this wonderful angel of a person

• for the sake of this scenario, let’s just say you somehow happen to have beef with her

• you are a longterm member of valkyrie, working directly under shu, similar to mika

• however, unlike mika, you do not agree with arashi’s views on your teacher

• she would sell out izumi to get to punch shu directly in the jaw. you would sell out mika to protect shu (jk u love mika. maybe)

• everytime she goes over to mika and fawns over him with her annoying “mika-chan!”s, you just scoff and roll your eyes

• she probably looks over at you so sadly… noooooo… i will cry…

• you just continue sewing, not wanting to disappoint shu

• after this happens multiple times, she would probably confront you !

• you tell her straight up that you don’t appreciate her distractions, and that her perspective of shu is completely off

• i feel like arashi would actually be very understanding towards you, and would want to fix things asap

• it is honestly one-sided enemies to lovers

• enemy to lovers ?

• she buys you flowers and apologises for getting in the way of valkyrie’s work !!

• you begrudgingly accept

• she goes up to you after valkyrie concerts and praises you on your performance

• it does feel nice to receive compliments, especially since shu does not offer them very often.. or at all…

• he’s a 10 but loves his dress collection more than his unit mates “A ONE” “ARASHI NO”

• you go to her for makeup tips since you want to make your appearance match your valkyrie outfits !

• she squeals, grabs your hand Very firmly, and leads you to her studio

• you somehow end up modelling with her…

• preppy x goth aesthetic anyone ?!

• WAIT NO THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE BOYFRIENDS WEBTOON ABORT ABORT

• you, mika and naru go out on shopping trips together

• it is so cute. you actually become a lot closer to mika because of arashi too which you really appreciate…

• and she helps you to take care of yourself ! you often find yourself overworking to maintain valkyrie’s mage, so she helps you to relax a tad ;;

• hardworking people are her type afterall hehe

• it’s a very healthy and communicative relationship you are everyone’s otp

• knights rate you 10/10

• shu rates you 9/10 (it is actually 10/10 - madonee)

• mika rates you 15/10

• rinne rates you 10/10

• wait why is rinne here

• WAIT SHU NO

• rinne is no longer here.

#enstars x reader #enstars #enstars x you #ritsu sakuma x reader #leo tsukinaga x reader #ensemble stars x reader #izumi sena x reader #tsukasa suou x reader #enstars imagines #arashi narukami x reader #🐬; enstars

[neoncat666]

extremely long shadows over welde character analysis post

by extremely long i mean its fucking 3k words cause I go too silly.

Spoilers up to ep 8 and its mostly rambles so apolocheese. I also posted this on my twitter so if u saw it there here's an actual text version LOL

Argentum:

Oh my god. You are soooo…… First of all, in the story we’ve gotten this. Argentum is a strong headed, curious person who is a bit stubborn and holds themself at a bit of a graceful appearance on the outside. They are smart, witty, but also a bit of a temper especially when it comes to frankly a little stupid ideas. They are also kind and care for others. We were shown from the beginning that they enjoy their work and meeting fans and even with people they just met are willing to help them stay safe. Also they’re a little dumb. Sometimes curiosity overrides rational thinking and that was shown when they touched the weird fucking webbing in the cave and also that ENTIRE plan when there was the confrontation between Vhaeraun and Lolth which was fucking actually crazy. This isn’t even beginning to talk about the head friend. I am constantly thinking about that voice and who that could be. Brings us speculation around them. Argentum is not human, or at least fully human. Their eyes are def not human and Hayden is a silly lil guy who would pull a trick like that. There was one speculation on them possibly being a Kalashtar and I think it could fit but honestly for now it hasn’t been on my forefront. I also bought the inscriptor class finally and was looking at how possibly they were built. What stats what subclass ect. I don’t fucking know.. Now you might be asking “Hey why don’t you just ask?” CAUSE IM SCARED. But honestly cause I wanted to see if I could figure it out myself lmao. It boiled down to either Mystery or Historian subclass is what Snail helped me narrow to. Could be wrong tho. There’s also little tidbits about Argentum that have come from outside the sessions like when I asked if they had a canonical birthday cause “celebrating fictional characters birthdays is cringe” “fuck you happy birthday argentum” is funny. Still honestly wanna know if any of the party has canon birthdays. I got hit with the “Oh they don’t know their own birthday.” and then swindled. There was also the discussion on Hayden’s pcs never really having parents or family and Argentum was included in that list which more or less got confirmed in session this episode (7). I still don’t know their motives, still don’t know their relationships with others because it seems everyone is connected to someone except Argentum, and I still don’t know who their patron is and if that is the same as the voice in their head. Love the silly though

Phoenix:

Fifi….. Not much was known about you until today and holy shit did it rock my world. Before we had known he was the apprentice to Ipswich and was sent in his place as guest of honor. We also then found out he was a spy working on tailing Lolth and that’s kinda all we knew about Phoenix for a bit, at least heavy lore wise. He’s a sarcastic, witty, bitch and I love him so much. I could never surpass Snail as Phoenix Enjoyer but it’s close. We learned a bit more during the nightmare drink sequence where he met his patron and got his powers fucking zapped. A couple things stood out to me from it. How his patron looked and specific wording from Phoenix. We know Ipswich isn’t mortal anymore but Phoe had said something along the lines of “I’d get my ass kicked and be right back here the next day.” He is surrounded by death or even just the undead. His patron deals in undead magic and I don’t think if Phoenix gets knocked down he wouldn’t be back again looking all fine the next day. We don’t know his patron’s name which like. Fuck. but lmao. Anyways Ipswich is tracking him like crazy and says he has this important quest although we don’t know a lot of Phoe’s thoughts and feelings on what he’s doing. To me it almost seems like he’s a tool or pawn for others and idk if I can fully call him a good person. Doing a bit of research into his pact and such it seems that he’s just going to possibly lose more and more humanity as he gets stronger but also i couldn’t tell you how much he has already. There’s also the whole cousins and throne thing that got dropped this episode. It seems his family is also involved with this whole scheme but Phoe is the favourite of the bunch. The idea that he could possibly be royalty was also thrown around and i think if he was like secret prince it would be from a large family all vying for a throne or he is working with Ipswich and others to usurp the current ruler and take the power for himself. Although knowing Fifi it’ll probably be like a secret third option. Not much except he’s so 90s movie older sister to me and the fact Ipswich runs a school for swindlers which is kinda funny.

Sunder:

Babygirl. Pookie. Love of my life who I want to kill me. God. This is now my love letter to you. I saw you across the bar and thought you were sooo scary and I’ve been enraptured ever since. Anyways that’s a freak. He’s not the most talkative and seems more lonely despite everything. They’re funny, loyal, kind, and ruthless. We didn’t get much for Sunder for a bit until mostly the shopping episode. We learned a bit through Kelly and the nightmare drink of what makes up Sunder but it didn’t really culminate until the head crushing I would say. Honestly I don’t even care I just fucking love the way Sunder is played. Like I’m sitting here trying to find words that aren’t just I think he’s neat cause I do think analyzing him is intriguing. They’re going to get angry and they’re going to get violent and you are not safe. It’s something that was so surprising at first because of how much Sunder kind of fell into the background. The nightmare drink gave us the first look at this, that Sunder had apparently killed someone, a kid even, but a lot of their violence was played off as a joke by the community, I know I did. Learned today that the person in that nightmare was Ilmater and it shows that she wasn’t lying when she said that visions and nightmares of this accident are a plague. I believe them when they say it was an accident and idk how young they were but to harbor that from a young age will fuck you up. Their morals are something that intrigues me i would say the most. No trouble in murder although I assume that’s more or less towards people who piss him off or are generally bad people. He’s kind hearted and that’s shown a lot especially with this last interaction I’d say. I still need to like rewatch a lot of parts of it but “we were just kids” genuinely fucking rocked me to my core and it got me i won’t lie. We’re still very early in but idk, I want to see Sunder truly happy and not haunted by the ghosts of their past. I feel this was most likely the first step but it’s hard to say as we go forward. I think violence and blood will always follow it’s just how they choose to take it.

The Wall:

I think now Wall is the character we know the least about, at least to me. We know his duty to Eilistraee and his duty to Zephrael and also his little foodie quirks (love him dearly) but outside of that I don’t think we know a lot. He’s the character I have the least notes for now but I do know this. He is loyal to a fault, a little dense, kind, and revels in battle and violence. I think about his nightmare and the fear of losing her and the sword then what happened to this episode. He’s had this since he was a child and then he had this dream, this trip to the beastland plane and looked Eilistraee in the eye and fought her. I believe he still loves her, cares for her, but I also think it has changed since that episode no doubt. Rewinding a bit, I think a bit about him being told he has to be pure of heart in order to wield the sword. What does pure of heart truly mean? Wall loves fighting and murder. He actively committed torture. Also he’s the bodyguard for an objectively bad man. There’s the argument of his intentions are pure although I doubt you can do a lot of what he did and have those intentions be fully pure. It’s just something I think about more than probably a normal person should teehee. Anyways the conversation he and Rae had at the beginning of this session should classify as psychological warfare cause I genuinely do not think I’m ever going to recover. I have been talking about it for weeks how they are the chosens, favored, by literal enemies and seem to have some sort of hit on them by a couple of deities now. I thought about how it might affect relationships and how Wall views them. We know he’s very loyal but I always wondered how far he would need to be pushed before that is broken. Seems like an extreme amount. His morals are probably what intrigue me the most tbh. I’d kill to know what his alignment is LMAO. Most of all I just really love the Wall because he is goofy and silly but he also isn’t a stupid brick wall that doesn’t know anything and I really enjoy seeing the times he gets to explain things. Fuck it we Wall.

Zephrael:

Okay so this will be the longest one cause I’m biased and yes Zephrael is my favourite. I always feel a little bad when it comes to that and showing that favouritism because I truly do love the entire party so much. This hit me the most when the show was just starting out and I did feel like I needed to show how much I loved each character and not just focus on Rae lol. I hope this thread can at least show that (if you even make it this far) Anyways Zephrael is a fucking freak and I love him so much. I’ve done multiple posts on him before and yeah Im gonna repeat some of it here i wont lie. Right out the gate we probably learn the most and yet the least about Rae’s past and present. He is an emissary for the reformed church of Lolth and an honored guest. He had known about Edo’s work before and talked about how it had helped with relations between the public and the reformed church. This means everything and nothing to us. But it does show that despite Rae’s… oddness, he is extremely well spoken when he wants to be and I think about that speech a lot. The next few episodes gave us some more information yet also a lot more questions. These weird pains that seem to predict disasters, the extreme phobia of spiders despite being a paladin of Lolth, and his both egotistical yet self deprecating attitude. It was fascinating to watch him because he clashed but never in a way that made him irredeemable and I’ll go more into that at the end section. A few early things I thought about a lot before the catalyst that was the nightmare drink were who the reformed church was, where did Zephrael come from, why was he chosen as this ambassador, and why he didn’t know undercommon but knew abyssal. These are still questions I have to this day LMAO. The nightmare drink vision I possibly overanalyze the most next to Phoenix’s. It stood out due to the fact that it wasn’t, bad. Rae could see again, he saw his father and best friends again, he got told he was going to learn the truth again. Why was this considered a bad thing? Everyone else experienced horrors and regrets yet Zephrael got sorrow. It jumpstarted the part aasimar Rae theory tho. Angel imagery Rae makes me clinically insane I won’t lie and his father having these large wings and bright white light did not help. There’s the big question of what he is and also how he joined the church. Hell, even how he feels about the church as well, truly at least. During one of the hiatuses fandom went crazy and Snail Snailmuds dropped out of nowhere that the runes on Rae’s body weren’t just random but fucking translated abyssal that said “PAIN CHAOS POWER” which first of all goes hard second of all what the fuck.

Theory crafting for Zephrael always feels like climbing uphill and also being constantly shot at cause every time something happens with that man it turns out to be a secret third thing going on oh mygod. Anyways I’ve discussed whether or not he was forced into this church, was kidnapped, born into it, ect because at the end of the day, he seems to very much be a tool or pawn for this church and/or Lolth. Also the whip being an artifact of Lolth or whatever they’re called again I forgot??? What the fuck dude. ALSO HIM SLEEPING IN BATHTUBS????? Grizzly has said this will make sense later but genuinely what the fuck there is something wrong with him. Moving on, revelation about the tattoos comes out and we get the torture episode. Well we get the holy shit they just killed those guys begining and then torture. First of all, I cheered louder than anyone else when Rae actually did fucking combat instead of running away and also the fact he can use his whip. Anyways dumb and dumber torture a guy and first of all the lay on hands to keep him alive during torture was insane and I hope to see it again in anything and it’s also where it’s learned that the tattoos on him were “forcibly engraved” which was honestly brushed off and a lot happened that I think most people forgot but I didn’t cause I’m crazy. Anyways moving on from THAT we get the typical Rae. Dodging questions when Argentum tries to interrogate him and also dunno if he’s just fuckin lying or not when he does actually answer them.

Episode 6 and 7 are where I think Rae slightly pivots. Not really noticeable but he feels a little more, close. It was also a change I noticed with the cast and I think that helped a lot of character dynamics as well. Rae’s stupid beef with Argentum was so fucking funny and I do think about him wanting to heal Sunder before himself after the Bulette because if he heals Sunder, how would that help him. Yes they’re his bodyguard but the monster is dead and it’s not like Sunder can heal him back. It was a decision that I think was the most different for Rae because he was shown to care deeply for Wall but not so much the others as much. He still doesn’t care for the others as much as he does The Wall but I do think he has grown a fondness or care for the others whether he wants to or not. And thats the thing, I could not tell you if he does actually wanna care for them or not. Yes they are allies and help but he seems to try and keep things at a transactional level or how much power it may bring him. He still does but like his dynamic with Argentum seems closer cause the antagonizing feels more like siblings getting on each other’s nerves rather than a growing distance. I think Sunder also displaying that brutality may have put him more into Rae’s good books too. Anyways he read a fucking book huge day. Now he has even worse mommy issues. Ep 7 killed me with hammers but that was spoken about. His relationship with Wall is something that fascinates me though. Rae is selfish, it’s not hidden at all, yet he does seem to care deeply for Wall and almost defends him more than he would defend himself. It’s nice to see for this bodyguard and his charge dynamic but ep 7 spread some light on it and I do think their bond will outlive the will of the Gods but what do I know, I’m not anyone at that table. Zephrael is rude, odd, egotistical but also masochistic and does care deeply when he wants to and you don’t see that kind of character as much I wanna say. He’s my favourite cause his weird gnc swag enraptured me thats all he is post over.

Not actually over cause there’s one last thing. These characters would not be these characters without the wonderful players behind them. Each episode brings out better and better performances that have me actually going crazy over them. I genuinely wouldve had nothing to write about if it weren’t for the fact everyone brings so much life into these characters and loves them so much that they feel so fucking real. They don’t feel flat or simple but very nuanced characters that I love to study and even be wrong about (i actually hate being wrong and every time im wrong i get so ashamed) but Argentum’s flourishes and talks to get out of situations, Phoenix’s wit and holy shit that dread form voice, Sunder during the market fight and then the softer scene with Varic, Wall’s humor and even talking about the more serious stuff, and Zephrael’s ability to balance harshness and endearing at the same time. That’s Hayden, Leizu, Juzo, Ben, and Grizzly and I genuinely cannot fucking talk about the performances enough. I’ve thought about making a post just about it but I fear I just wouldn’t be able to articulate what I wanna say enough. Then obviously it wouldn’t even be possible without the fucking amazing world building and npcs Jonah has provided. Everything is so immersive and I find myself caring for each and every npc we meet whether caring for their safety or caring too much cause I dislike them. Every npc sticks with me and I grow so attached so quickly because they feel so real in this world that also feels so fucking real. It feels like we are just peeking into another world and I actually can’t multitask when watching sow cause I get too sucked in. It’s really hard to do that and I talk about it a lot but never really publicly so I thought I would here.

Anyways for real this time post over, this ended up way longer than I thought it was gonna be so ur a real one if you read this all the way through lol. I’m off to go think about sow merch again as I wait for permission and stuff cause im crazy. See ya later

#shadows over welde #argentum rillis #phoenix sow #sunder sow #the wall sow #zephrael sow #dm.txt

[flowerflowerflo]

ྀི ୨ embarrassment ୧ ྀི

...is a social construct designed to make us feel bad by those who cant handle their own mistakes & or shortcomings.

seriously. like. it baffles me how people are still living in the mindset where they let embarrassment become anything more for them than a concept.

୨୧ embarrassment

- a feeling of self-consciousness, shame, or awkwardness.

embarrassment is perfectly normal. it happens to everyone because we all make mistakes. but some people let embarrassment and the fear of embarrassment consume them and the choices they make far too much, far too often.

♡ which leads me onto my first point; it is completely normal. everybody makes mistakes. this is our first time in this life and we are all learning & growing with our every choice, every action, every decision <3 remember that the next time youre panicking and freaking out because you made a mistake.

♡ its never that deep. i like to try be gentle w this stuff but lemme tell u straight no one actually cares . im serious,, like babes no one gives a shit honestly 😭😭 and your mentality should be the same. people remember this stuff n laugh for 5 mins and then theyre back to their life. and if they hang on to it for longer then theyre the one who should be embarrassed.. get a life pls??

♡ similar to what i said a moment ago , its. never. that. deep. laugh it off !!!!! giggle !!!!!! laugh about it !!!!!!!! nobody cares !!!!!! this shows that it doesnt faze you and this shows how confident you are within yourself that you dont let silly little mistakes bother you because they do not matter.

♡ when it comes to your interests, please never be embarrassed about these. this is something ive struggled with since i was little but never never never be embarassed of the things that bring you joy. if they arent hurting anyone and are perfectly okay you should never be embarrassed ab that. it makes you happy. why should you be ashamed of that for someone else???🩷

♡ has someone ever said something to you? made u doubt urself? then you get embarrassed ab it???? dont. do not even go there. i ws so insecure before (i know😭😭) and couldnt hold a single opinion for myself but when you know who tf you are you wont be doubting yourself for anyone ml.

♡ so... you wanna pursue your dreams but ur too embarrassed. ur too embarrassed and worried "what if this doesnt work" "what if it doesnt happen" n whatever other dumb shit ur worried abt and scared to outgrow your surroundings and evolve. wow. you know how silly that sounds? so.. like.. let me get this straight... youre telling me... that youre not doing what you love... for the sake of someone else or some silly little doubts????wow. you get one life n youre doing that. GET IT TOGETHER BABES. GET REAL. WHY WOULD U SABOTAGE URSELF LIKE THAT????? YOURE WORTH SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT LIKE 😭😭🩷🩷🩷🩷

♡ understand that peoples perceptions of you are often reflections of themselves just like your perceptions of others are often reflections of yourself. they think its embarrassing because they know for a fact deep down that theyd be too embarrassed and self conscious to do it themselves.

♡ and then watch the way they'll all come crawling back apologising and grovelling the moment you're rich and successful and got everything you ever wanted.. all because you had the confidence to trust in yourself and pursue what you wanted without listening to their self doubts. <3

♡ reverse psychology. "why r u doing that" "thats so cringey" why r u so wrapped up in my business? thats so cringey

♡ overall, confidence, strong self concept & trusting in your ability to bounce back from anything are the three main things that will never let you wallow in this silly little emotion again. embarrassment is like a pitiful, more insignificant, ridiculous version of fear. if ur gonna be scared then b scared of something worth ur time babe ur more than that <33

#girlblogging #wonyoungism #it girl #pink pilates princess #self care #self improvement #thewizardliz #mindset #song jia #that girl #self concept #confidence #glow up era #dream girl #loassumption #loa tumblr #loa blog

[destinyc1020]

sometimes I think the kid as in Tom was not meant to be this famous. Like his moves are suspicious to me. I would not be surprised if Harry is his publicist. He doesn’t move like a celebrity should idk the complete disregard about the discourse around his name in the last few months has made me realize that he operates in a very short sighted arena. Like I will be honest I am so dumb founded by his lack of response to this whole thing. I mean, this play is just a play right? It is not meant to make or break anything for him. But now it’s breaking him. The very community that he is entering aka the theatre community ( esp black theater in south London) is not happy. So this has now already created this persona about him to the people consuming this art.It really saddens me because I know the kid doesn’t have a bad bone in his body but he lacks foresight. I’m sure Sydney Sweeney would have made a statement if she was in the situation because she cares about pr. I bring her up because we all know Tom has better character than her but she understands her position in this business. Tom doesn’t. Im really frustrated. I wish there was something we could do but like today with his twitter he is not on top of shit! It’s hard to defend him. If Fran comes out of this and speaks and says she wishes he would have done more then it’s really really fucking bad. He missed the chance to be lauded by the community now he is being scrutinized and honestly he deserves it

I understand your frustration Anon, but I think you're catastrophizing things just a bit.

First of all, British theater will be JUST FINE, they LOVE Tom over there (do you forget he started off in British theater?? 🤔 He's not some nobody).

Second, the tickets for all play dates have already been sold OUT. They sold out in like 2 HOURS. People are gonna be sat for this play regardless of whatever "issues" are going on inside of the Twitter app.

Most ppl attending that play probably have no clue what was going on online anyway on Twitter. 🙄

The only people complaining about this casting were racist ppl who o more than likely didn't have a ticket to the show in the first place.

Third.... Sydney Sweeney is nowhere NEAR as famous as Tom is, so while she might be good at "PR", when you're SUPER famous (like Tom is) you do have to think extra hard about your actions (and non-actions).

Lastly, while it's frustrating.... You have to keep in mind that you're just a fan, and to know your place. You don't know everything, you don't see everything. We don't know what Fran might come out saying in the future. She might talk about how Tom and the rest of the cast was super supportive of her, and bought her cards and flowers, and helped her to feel welcomed.

When you make assumptions, you.... well, you know the rest lol 😆

I'm just saying, while it cad be frustrating, I think that as a fan, you have to realize that we don't know ALL the facts, we don't know what will happen in the future, and we don't need to hate on someone in retaliation.

Jmho 🤷🏾‍♀️

Either you're a fan, or you're not... It's your own choice. I personally don't feel like celebrities are perfect, so I afford them some grace, even if they've disappointed me in some way (depending on what it is of course).

Just take a deep breath and breathe.....

[stevie-petey]

SPEAKING OF SEASON FOUR

I'm so worried that the duffer brothers are gonna fuck up jancy. That flirting with Steve and Nancy in season four was not cute. Like jancy isn't my favorite ship in the series (because I'm in love with Jonathan but that's not the point) but we've established that Nancy DOESN'T love Steve. Did you see Jonathan's face when Nancy started talking about how Steve's grown up? You could tell it made him insecure, It's foreshadowing the love triangle all over again and there's no point in keeping it. It doesn't add to the story it's just another stupid plot for drama, which we don't really need!

It also takes away from Nancy's character!! She's not the kind of girl to just go from guy to guy. She's also not the kind of girl to flirt with her ex who's clearly still got feelings for her while she has a boyfriend!! Even if it was unintentional, like subconsciously, still she's smarter than that and she cares about Jonathan and Steve's feelings she wouldn't risk hurting the both of them at once.

I mean if we're talking about come home it could work as something for bug and Steve to work through I guess ( I don't wanna talk about it too much because it's so far away and there's a lot more we have to go through to get to that point) but it's so outside of Nancy's character. Maybe she's just confused cause she almost died and saw Steve get seriously hurt? But still Nancy isn't a homewrecker and she's not a super jealous or promiscuous person. Even if she didn't know about how close bug and Steve have grown she wouldn't go after him. But strictly speaking of stranger things now. She hardly interacted with Steve in season four, which is fair she's still in highschool and Steve has a job. They have their own shit going on. It's understandable. I feel like Nancy's character gets misconstrued a lot, partially because she keeps getting reduced to a love interest. I just hope Nancy and Jonathan don't fall apart because of how much they've changed during their time away. I love Steve but he's not right for Nancy and she's not right for Steve. I hope they Don't ruin such a great relationship with so much potential. Like I see the problems in jancy but I can see how well it could work if given the chance.

honestly it just feels like the writers dont KNOW what to do with nancy anymore or even jancy. i adore them and think theyre so sweet together but the writers are just ,,,, pissing me off. bringing back steves feelings for her and nancys weird feelings for him was just ??? unnecessary and NO ONE was asking for it

i will say however i do see the vision for stancy. i think they did have a good shot at being in love and happy, theyre right person wrong time, but if that was the plan since season 1 then ,,,, it shouldve been touched on earlier ?!?!!? we dont see nancys feelings for steve at ALL until season 4 like even WHILE THEY WERE DATING. its stupid. and like u said: nancy isnt like that !! she’d never directly hurt anyone :( shes so kind and loyal and the writers are mean

and jancy ,,, ugh they have sm potential if the writers would just figure them out. they keep having the same argument of jon wanting to care for his family and nancy wanting to uncover and explore shit its just. ugh.

for season 4 i will DEF be retconning some shit because yeah. im not dealing with a repeat love square that will be resolved literally THIS SEASON in season 2. feels so dumb to be so repetitive. i will however bring in some elements in that love triangle back in 4 but not in any definitive or dramatic way. smh

#ask #anon #m speaks #m rants technically #nancy wheeler i will defend u with my life

[elysiumxii]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN

NAME?: Kai

PRONOUNS?: she/her/they

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION?: I don't care as long as you talk to me tbh. IMs is a great place to start and then once we have a ship, i'll be in all your business on all platforms.

MOST ACTIVE MUSE(S)?: helios, giselle, antonio... and honestly, i wish i was writing more of them, more often. 🥺

EXPERIENCE / HOW MANY YEARS?: okay i have to really think and it's a bit fuzzy... because i think... well i was writing by the time i started university in 2009, on a forum for Super Junior. I wrote fanfiction before that in about 2008? i don't need a calculator i will not be looking at how many years that is...

BEST EXPERIENCE? oft hard to answer, i have both so many and the world's most appalling memory. the excitement of any budding new ship is truly what keeps me going, but i do remember one in particular with a bar tender muse of mine and a 'straight' firefighter that just... oh it was good. then more recently it would be meeting @okajibana and forming my whole existence around her, you're stuck with me now! plus every time i get a notification from @irrwicht or @temporalobjects my day is always improved.

RP PET PEEVES?: ohhh it's possibly going to get me some hate, and look, if it works for you? you go boo... but it's greeting starters. they're usually one liners and someone has maybe picked a muse of yours but then they fling it out there, and i'm like... what do i do with that? there's no setting, there's no context, it's maybe a bit of dialogue and i'm cut adrift to try and work out what to do with it? that for me is not fun. i have added it to my rules that i don't want them but i still get them and... i feel so bad ignoring them, but also am too awkward to be like, hey, have this back and maybe plot with me? i will plot with anyone and i will hype your ideas to the moon and back but, a throw away one liner... i can't do nothing with. (and listen, maybe i'm the problem! everyone else seems happy!) also small text is nice to look at and it's easy to add now! js...

FLUFF, ANGST, OR SMUT? i feel like if i said anything other than smut, online pals from the rafters would scream for me to be real. imma be real with you, this is a smut blog wrapped up in fancy wrapping that makes it seem like i'm here for the plot... i'm here for the d-! jk i'm happy to be here i will write anything... smut tho...

PLOTS OR MEMES?: plots i'm just good at memes. if we have a ship, use me for drabbles that's all i'm saying.

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES?: long. i have a rule about mutually agreed lengths because i can't with just one paragraph that doesn't go anywhere im sorry! i find short replies so unsatisfying and maybe i'm a demanding bitch idk.

TIME TO WRITE?: i try for an hour or two every week day evening GMT. i do my business, then i get into bed and work through my drafts. usually can't do weekends cuz the bf is all up here demanding my attention and shit. ugh men.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S)?: yeah lol every bit of clown foolery, where they do or say dumb shit, is me. some of them are know it alls like me (looking at you alistair), some of them are dumb like me... giselle... some of them open their mouth and say shit and then go, oops, like me, heather, cory omg...

tagged by: @irrwicht and @temporalobjects (MY BABEESSSS)

tagging: @bvrningshq @okajibana @champagneandparacosm @svndri @sentimentalscientia @lellarps

#ooc;

[aroacesigma]

do you have any sigzai hcs (or just hcs about sigma or dazai separately)

you're going to regret asking this . headcanons under the cut cause im gonna feel annoying otherwise . most of them are what i headcanon as happening like post canon in a nice world where everyone is alive and happy lol

sigzais <3

ok so to me they are THE transmasc qpps ever . i might be projecting a little but both dazai and sigma are both so transmasc to me. on one hand you have sigma who wears 10 billion shirt layers and a long ass coat and goes on and on about being an ordinary man, and then on the other hand you have dazai who also wears clothes like that and bandages over his chest

hc sigma as oriented aroace with ???? orientation . hes just very confused . theyre so confused . and dazai as bi aroacespec and not particularly averse to any stuff just doesnt feel the attraction most of the time

poor sigma has spent all this time around fyolai like 'god why the fuck are people like this' and then he meets dazai and is like ohhhhhhh. oh .

when sigma joins the ada (and they will u mark my words) him and dazai end up sharing an apartment

at first dazais excited because maybe he wont be living off horrible cooking

unfortunately sigma also cannot cook for shit . he fucking sucks . legitimately the only thing he can cook is cookies in a packet mix .

sigma is unfortunately going through the same phase that kids of controlling parents go through when they finally get freedom, which is making a bunch of stupid decisions . dazai , being the wonderful boyfriend he is, is encouraging all the dumb decisions because he thinks its funny

most of their dates is just going to cafes because sigma has the worlds most horrendous sweet tooth and sigma has no moral objections to guilt tripping him into it

despite being pretty bad at it themself, sigma has a tendency to hit dazai with a pillow until he takes care of himself

vice versa dazai will be a distracting little bitch and wont stop if he thinks sigma is overworking himself

sigma

he/they sigma is so real to me btw just need everyone to know this . they like messing around with neos as well sometimes i think

even though he's pretty much always tired , isnt really a huge fan of coffee , definitely prefers really fancy tea and energy drinks

decided to run with the whole purple thing cause of his hair , abolutely loves the colour. anything he owns is purple if they can get it .

smiles all happy while listening to music in a way that makes you think its something nice . its not . his only musical requirements are loud and screaming to drown out the Anxiety™

not my headcanon but i saw someone say once that they headcanon that occasionally people get an uncanny valley kinda vibe from looking at him cause of his weird origins and honestly i think thats pretty interesting

very happy to join the ada . not quite as impressed by the paycheck .

like , really not impressed by the paycheck . theyre struggling with the dwindling clothes budget . i can totally see him trying to decide whether he wants dinner or new earrings . and probably picking the earrings .

they get along with everyone at the agency really well . a few people dont really trust him straight up but atsushi and dazai vouching for him shuts that down relatively quickly

he gets along the best with atsushi

they have a friendly rivalry with kunikida . agency productivity going straight up just because those two keep trying to outdo each other

dazai

100% has multiple troll accounts online . he enjoys being a menace . not in the mean way , in the absolutely fucking infuriating kind of way

remained in denial (or more oblivious really) about being trans until he was 16 because he asked chuuya if everyone felt like that one time and chuuya was like well yeah (also trans and stupid)

on a related note (this one is kind of about dazai and chuuya but it still counts) mori was kind of like ohhh teenage boys are so much easier to deal with right ? kouyou decided it was best not to inform him that hrt gives you mood swings .

adhd. adhd. adhd.

hes a candy crush mum . its a problem .

eats everyone at the ada's food . but he doesnt eat the whole thing he'll just take a bite . its high up on kunikidas 'things that make me want to string dazai up by his legs and attach him to a ceiling fan' list

has been known to send 12 yr olds graphic violent death threats after losing to them in video games

he has the music taste of a 14 yr old cishet girl . i will let you decide what that entails .

my deepest apologies for making you read all this but i love them both dearly and i have lots of Thoughts

#asks #dreamsicle262 #sigzai #sigma #dazai #ramblings #headcanons i like

[urlocalsadkid-l]

this is going to be a really long list of some stuff that’s been happening.

so like to start im friends with this one boy and we started dating on the tenth, he’s really sweet and we were, are, really really good friends and really close. close to the point where the line of platonic and romantic mixed with feelings. he’s older than me. he’s coming over saturday, and i don’t know what’s going to happen. i’m really scared but excited i know he would never do anything to knowingly hurt me in any way but since we became a “couple” he’s shown his horny side and like it’s nice to see that side but him and i have eventually talked about eventually having sex and that’s a scary ass thought because i don’t want that to happen like i want to kiss him and whatnot but i don’t want to have sex and it’s really really scary because i’m not ready. i told him this today because he was pressing for what’s wrong and i told him that much because it was bothering me and now we’re still talking about it nd i don’t know what to do

i’ve also relapsed, i was still on the app at this time but i still need to say that. i tore skin. not anything much, i just lost it and started scratching at my skin till it bled and then started sobbing when it bled because i threw over two years of work down the drain. i feel like shit but seeing that blood felt amazing. i also accidentally nic-ed myself in the shower and it wouldn’t stop bleeding and i felt amazing even though it was an accident. i was so proud of myself that it wouldn’t stop. i want to relapse again so badly, but seriously relapse.

i know i’m supposed to be happy. i don’t have any reason not to be. i don’t know why i am like this. i really hate being like this. why am i like this??? i don’t know what’s wrong with me. why can’t i be normal. i want to fucking die. why do i not know who i am? why do i have to be liked? why do i have to be smart? why can’t i just sleep forever? just let me die.

also i miss her.<3 so much it makes me feel ill. i’m getting over her. i’m fine with talking to her, i can have conversations and smile and be a polite human. i think i just miss what could have been. like all of my friends are pretty but she’s super pretty. and i get it sounds dumb, but i don’t care, she’s gorgeous. she’s also really sweet and kind. i really like her, i’m glad we are still friends, though now i could never imagine us going back to the way we were. i don’t have a thing for her anymore. i really don’t. i miss the memories, and what could have been. honestly her and i are better off friends because we could have never worked. things could have ended better, but it’s okay, no way to change it at all.

also my food thing is getting bad again. like the last weekend, i only had a total of like two meals? three? i don’t know. no snacks either. i feel so dumb. why can’t i be skinny? i’m so fat i hate it so much, it makes me want to rip off my skin and put it in a blender. why can’t i be pretty and skinny and gorgeous and liked and popular and funny and so much more?

why? why on earth was i decided to be a target for all this? why can’t i just look normal, and be normal?? why do i have to think the way i do? or act or talk to look? i want to be normal. i don’t care about how i am. i want to change. i’m fucking losing it and want to sob.

also him.423 and i had something happen. i don’t know what. but we don’t talk now. we haven’t talked since jan 28th. i don’t know how i feel. hurt, i guess. i really don’t know what i did. i mean, he’s not good for me, he doesn’t treat me right, he doesn’t care about me. it really sucks.

#TW #TRIGGER WARNING #urlocalsadkid l #text post #random #life update #tw swearing #tw sui vent #tw sucidal ideation #tw suicidal thoughts #him.615 #her.<3 #him.423 #fuck. #tw ed #tw disordered eating #tw self harm #tw sh #vent

[earnestlyegos]

Rank your fave mark egos, and why

-🗡(not part of the qnapp I just felt like asking)

this one. took awhile. also this isnt a list that like,, shows which one i hate?? i love, all of them! just some a little less, but if i had to rank em, this is how id do it! So this is more of a “most favorite to i still like them, but i like these guys more!!”

(1) Yancy

i like him the most honestly because hes just.. he means so much to me?? ive got no clue as of why i attached to him so hard, but something about the way he sings and dances, his daddy issues, his past, the way he smiles and just how dramatic he is. he makes my heart soar, i want to give him all he deserves. hes an amazing person to me.

(1.5) Wilford Warfstache

literally couldnt pick one favorite. warfstache was the first ego i fell in love with, due to his complex character and lore!! i love how in WMLW hes sincere with abe, and i love how kind he is before he goes “insane”. i love how hes a loyal man as william J barnum, and hes just AUGHHHH!! hes got so much to him and i love him so so so so much!! hes SO cool!! LIKE SPACE!!!

(2) Eric Derekson

eric is a hot and close second. i love how timid and nervous he is, and i love how he canonically comes back, and somewhat gets over that!! i LOVE characters with a tragic past, which is why yancy and wilf are first!! i love eric sosososo much, i wanna kiss his head and hold him, he deserves the world!! hes only second cause yancy and warf are some of my BIGGEST hyperfixations.

(3) illinois

ironically loved him and now i unironically love him. i love the confidence and the stupid fucking suaveness, it makes me laugh! i also headcanon hes a genuinely nice guy, and often teaches at the prison because he works with a program and such!! i like to think he genuinely loves his job, and is maybe (100%) is autistic over archaeology. i love his energy!!!

(4) Damien

i love him. i just, i do! i love how sincere of a man he is, how soft and serious he is, BUT HE CARES SO FUCKING MUCH FOR WILLIAM AND IT HURTS!!!! i hc him as such a nice man, who is genuinely doing his best to make everybody happy. he also deserves the world.

(4.5) THE JIMS!!!!

I FUCKING LOVE THE JIMS I LOVE THE HCS THAT PEOPLE COME UP WITH I LOVE READING THEM IN FICS!!! they are SOSOSOSOOO silly!!! devilish little bastards, rats!! rats in my walls!! I LOVE THEM.

(5) Head Engineer Mark

hes a stupid brat man child and i love him. hes such a smart guy, and yet so dumb and adventurous, i love his energy, and i love how hes basically captains puppy???? he really comes in close with damien for me, but we dont get much of his character in ISWM, so honestly its hard to form a solid opinion on him! otherwise i think hes absolutely fucking hilarious and i adore him and his personality.

(6) Darkiplier

i love you. i have the hc of him being edgy and evil, but hes also doing it mostly all for show. i love how its literally all out of spite because he fucking hates actor, and i love how hes just there to fuck up his plans. i love thinking hes just— HES A CAT, MAN. A SNARKY LITTLE SHIT, I LOVE HIM, HES GREAT. i also love the hc that he goes by most pronouns!! mostly he/they, but sometimes she/her and im absolutely fucking here for it. slay girliepop!!!!

(7) Bing

do i. do i have to explain? hes a douche! i fucking love him! over confident idiot, who looks epic?? dude, thats just me!! i just fucking adore his vibe, love how you see him interact with google in fics and shit, i just, THERES JUST SOMETHING ABOUT HIM THAT MAKES ME LAUGH IN SUCH A GOOD WAY!!!

(7.5) Actor Mark

hes a dumb egomaniacal asshole and i love it. hes fucking stupid and greedy, is also a man child, and i can absolutely see him pouting and stomping his foot when upset. HE ALSO KILLS HIMSELF FOR FUNSIES I JUST THINK THAYS FUCKING HILARIOUS??? literally dies and says to damien “hey i want you to be my villain, bye!!” and RUNS OFF TO MAKE ANOTHER UNIVERSE?? HELLO??? also hes evil and im here for that, slay king, fuck things up!

(8) King of the Squirrels

hes funny as fuck and ive read a few fics with him. love how people think he interacts with Bim and the jims, i also think he would be good friends with eric, considering they both LOVE animals!! love his outfit too!! hes just silly, and i like to think hes this nice energetic guy whose just really passionate over squirrels :)

(9) Bim Trimmer

show host. thats it. cannibalistic show host. love it. its me core, i love him. i like to think hes a nice guy, but also has manic undertones and a slight sinister feeling about him and OH BOY AM I FUCKING HERE FOR IT. im a sucker for the over dramatic show host type, and its a reason why i actually love spamton too! i love the “always have a professional smile even though im clearly extremely angry at you, so ill just be as passive aggressive as possible, haha!!” GOD I LOVE HIM

(9.5) Dr. Iplier

OF COURSE I THINK HE MATCHES WITH YHE HOST!!!!!!! their dynamic is so cute in fics dont even fucking get me STARTED. anyways, i love how much of an asshole he is in the skit(s??), but i also love how people write him as this caring and hardworking man. he would get along well with eric, dark, and the host in my eyes! maybe even yancy, because theyre both kinda a reserved character in my mind!

(10) Google

hes cool!! i love that hes a sinister sentient AI, and is always a fucking smartass. i love smartasses that are always serious and always follow the rules. Tenya iida core, iykyk— uh, love the guy!! again, love how hes an asshole, yet i still hc he cares about the others and alla that, he just doesnt show it and blahblahblah. also love his design, its something so simple yet, it really pops!! love the art people make of him, and i also love the asshole confidence hes got—

(10.5) The Host

hes also sosososooooo neat!! again, seen him in fics, i love how some people write him. he deserves love and care, and i think that him and yancy would really connect, considering theyre both outcasts in their own ways! hes a sweetheart who is trying his best and you literally cannot fucking convince me otherwise.

(and then all the others i dont know/care about)

lots of ties, though, hoped you enjoyed this long and VERY autistic ramble about the egos i like-

#eric derekson #eric derekson markiplier #markiplier egos #markiplier ego headcanons #darkiplier #wilford warfstache #damien markiplier #actor mark #actor markiplier #yancy #yancy the prisoner #king of the squirrels #king of the squirrels markiplier #head engineer mark #googleplier #bingiplier #bim trimmer #jim markiplier #jim egos #markiplier jim #jim wkm #illinois #illinois markiplier #illinois ahwm #dr. iplier #the host markiplier #host markiplier #yancy ahwm #iswm #ahwm

[lollytea]

Hunter foolishly being worried how willow n dariuses relationship will play out ( sińce they destroyed his ship n he scared her n teammates)

but gosh HE WAS SO WRONG they become besties n obviously both treasure him dearly but sometimes he cannot wrap his head around over their banter/inside jokes. He s glad tho

Also i d love to have Hunter go for advice what prezent to give to willow (he somewhat knows just needs to put his ideas in order) and it ends up with darius picking out the sweater/jacket/dress n Hunter sewing patches/adding on personal details

Hdhdhd adore them being pentagram buddies imagine it starting as missclick on willows part n sending him a dumb meme but they keep chatting from time to time

//you will be the end of me lolly im supposed to be responsible not looking thru your huntlow tag/lh also happy lolly tagged her posts everyone 🎉/lhj

THEYRE SO FUNNY

Like Darius and Willow's relationship is definitely tumultuous and antagonistic and this initially had Hunter very nervous. He had to attempt to be the mediator when the two are about to go at it like feral cats. He's in the middle like "Okay, okay, okay, okay. How about we all just relax?" Only to eventually realize that he does NOT have the social skills to curb whatever the fuck is happening here. If his girlfriend wants to scalp his weekend father, she is far too stubborn to be talked out of it and vice versa. So he has accepted that this is just how its gonna be.

But its so strange because while they bicker constantly, they also seem to have this overly familiar relationship that Hunter doesn't quite understand. He honestly feels pretty locked out of the loop whenever hes with the two but he isn't so much upset by that as he is INSANELY CONFUSED. Like??? What the fuck is going on??? Usually when the three of them are together, Hunter is occupying all his brain power to figure out what the FUCK these two are talking about.

Willow: Boscha keeps vagueing about me on her fensta and it's honestly kinda funny.

Darius: Uck. Well don't just tell me about it. Show me the screenshots. I need to see how petty she's acting.

Hunter: Whats "vagueing"? What's "fensta"? What's a "screenshot"? Why can't you people just use real words?!

Willow: Oh honey, I'm sorry. Well "vagueing" means--

Darius: Google it, gramps.

Willow: Be nice to him.

Hunter: Yeah, be nice to me.

Darius: I am! I just helpfully suggested a place to find answers!

And its shit like. Hunter will show up at Willow's doorstep for a date and just as he's about to knock on the door, Darius will swing it open and stride past him.

Hunter: Darius?!

Darius: Hunter.

Hunter: Wh-you-I-....why were you just in Willow's house?

Darius: Because she's hopeless, that's why. The little purple haired girl is busy today and she needed someone to set her on the right path. Wanted to impress you. Isn't that so very cute? Hair, make-up, outfit, etectera. Of course she didn't care about my plans for the day. Just demanded I get my butt over here and be her little fairy godmother. Real bossy, that girl.

Hunter: Wh--

Darius: Anyway, I did a fantastic job obviously. You're welcome. *Winks and struts away before Hunter can get another word in*

And yes. Yes absolutely. Willow's sixteenth birthday rolls around and Hunter panics big time. Because not only is this her first birthday that he gets to celebrate with her, it's her first birthday he spends as her boyfriend. He knows he wants to patch up a whole dress but it's simply the matter of picking out a dress. And god, if there's one thing Hunter doesn't know shit about, it's fashion.

I feel like, while Hunter is still new to this whole tailoring hobby, Darius is a pro and can probably make some excellent quality clothing. So he makes Willow a dress himself. Hunter helps to the best of his ability.

Hunter: Sorry I think we're just gonna have to buy one. I don't....know her exact measurements.

Darius: That's fine. I do.

Hunter: What?

Darius: I've resized plenty of clothes for her before. That reminds me, I need to teach you to do that. She's only gonna get buffer after all.

Darius makes Hunter promise to not tell Willow who made the dress. ("We can't have her incorrectly assuming I like her.") But Hunter is a SHIT liar so he's just very awkwardly explaining how he just happened to stumble upon it at the market and thought "huh. That would look nice on Willow. Haha....ha."

And of course Willow knows the patches are Hunter's handiwork. But when it comes to the dress itself....

"Wow. It fits me perfectly. It flatters me perfectly. It's my exact style. The colour matches my skin tone. It's...like it was made for me. What a coincidence, huh?"

And Hunter, sweating absolute bullets is like "HAHAH. Yeah. Coincidences are crazy, right?"

Willow decides to let Darius get away with this one. For now. She'll put it in the pocket of her beautifully crafted dress (he put POCKETS in it, holy shit!!!) and use it as leverage once the opportunity arises.

#delighted you enjoyed the new hunlow tag #THANK YOU for rbing so many of them and tagging them #i would not have found at least half of them if it werent for your blog #you really saw my terrible system of not tagging shit and took matters into your own hands #youre a hero

[squishytheboi2]

People need to let people enjoy things

I see so many people on social media (eg twitter,tumblr etc) who are so obsessed with what media people can and cannot like and its honestly gotten to the point where im scared to talk about anything in fear that what i like is problematic or whatever

Look im fine with people being critical of the media they consume i do it all the time even regarding shows i love like south park,danganronpa etc but its gotten to the point were saying anything positive about media that has problematic elements or continuing to watch said shows gets u accused of all the nasty names under the son and i just don’t think that’s fair honestly  it comes off like people are dictating what media is and isn't acceptable to watch or what media we can and cannot talk about and its just making it harder and harder to talk about things i love in fear ill be called a pedophile or a racist just for liking it

Like whatever happened to “u can enjoy something and be critical of it” or “u can still enjoy something while not directly supporting the creator” its like those concepts have been forgotten about and now people are like “if you like this piece of media in anyway shape or form your a bad person period” i just dont find that very fair personally like why should i have to stop enjoying something i like just because aspects of it are problematic? by that logic we cant enjoy anything because most media has atleast a few things that are problematic or could be interperated as such  Like i love the anime made in abyss its one of my favorite pieces of animation of all time for its stunning world,atmosphere and amazing soundtrack but because it has some problematic shit in it and tackles darker subject matter i get labeled as a bad person just for daring to say anything good about it  like im just not allowed to talk about what the series does right and only focus on the negative stuff  like again being critical of media is fine infact i encourage it as i think it helps start a dialogue where we can discuss this stuff but to act like we have to ignore everything a series does well and stop enjoying that piece of media full stop is dumb imo

At the end of the day let people enjoy things aslong as there not hurting anyone in anyway shape or form why do you care about what media people enjoy? people are allowed to enjoy things that make them happy and discuss things that make them happy and liking that piece of media does not mean they like every single thing about that piece of media and if the issue is about supporting a bad creator then there are still ways to enjoy that media without directly giving them money like piracy,second hand markets etc etc  this post isnt about ignoring problematic elements in fiction but more that acting like we have to ignore anything good about that fiction because of that stuff or to stop watching or talking about it all together is unfair and people shouldn't have to stop enjoying things that make them happy 

what are your thoughts on this? do you agree with me or not please feel free to give your own thoughts on this subject in the comments also sorry if this feels messily written this is my first time making a tumblr post like this so im very rusty lmao 

#animation #let people enjoy things #anime #discussion #media criticism #south park #made in abyss #tumblr

[liliallowed]

I hope sans doesn't hate us now hey hey Crimson you know sans well right do you think he hates us?????? :(

angst below

"don't worry darling he won't blame you as long as I'm around. in fact I can make it so he'll like you more by training you to fight me. he'll be so happy to see you eventually take me down"

"wh-what?"

"you know. like how cats bring dead birds as gifts? or like, just rip out my heart. I think he'll like that. probably kiss you or like cuddle. it's adorable how docile he gets around you. I'd imagine it's like watching a zookeeper snuggle with tiger cubs they raised while the other would rip other people to shreds."

"okay wtf are you talking about. why would you... WANT him to like me? is this part of your evil plans?"

"mm. well, would you believe me if I said I just wanna see you somehow succeed without being discarded in the dumpster in sans's basement?"

"no."

"hehehe. yeah I'm planning on ruining your marriage at the last day. I want to be the worst wingman ever."

"I don't understand. why are you so sure he won't hate me? he... he wants to kill me."

"that's BECAUSE he loves you silly. it's his... way of making sure you're "safe" instead of becoming someone else's exp. kinda like a twisted way of giving his greatest mercy."

"he is going to kill you too right? doesn't that mean he'd love you too?"

"psht I WISH! nah he doesn't give me a fast out. makes sure it's as painful as it can possibly be before I run out of hp. then again it's pointless since I literally can't feel anything. that's not his mercy. that's straight up spite." they shrug.

"he really does care about you you know. it'd be a waste to die to him. DON'T LET HIM TAKE YOUR LIFE. he'd be lonely without you." they frown. "least with YOU he won't be left for dead in a ghost town if I'm gone. call it a plan B in case I actually don't come back. make sure you'll take good care of him"

"what? what do you mean?"

"I've stayed with him cuz leaving him would be too cruel. killing him would leave ME alone. but with you in the mix everyone is happy."

"then why did you give me the reset!?"

"so he can't push you away using the old (you wouldn't understand resets) bullcrap. such a drama queen honestly."

"liar. you just want entertainment."

"true. that too. can't a person just enjoy both being an asshole and being empathetic?"

"you're NOT going to start getting any sympathy from me because of this. you're manipulating me! I'm just a second in command pawn for you aren't I? you're replacement to torment THE ONE PERSON WHO GAVE A SHIT ABOUT ME!"

they stayed silent for a moment...

before pinning you down to the ground and slicing through your souls shield, poking their knife to your throat.

"of course I am. you're so fucking dumb to think I actually GIVE a shit about your dumb relationship with my rival. you almost seemed to forget you're a hostage here that I've had the GENEROSITY to teach self defense."

your eyes widen as you flinch feeling the tip break through the skin.

"I can hurt you room I can BREAK you too. I just don't WANT TO because it'd be too predictable. don't forget your place y/n. if you really are set on those ideals then whats stopping you?"

their grip loses from your hands as they place the blade in your hand.

"go on. then. slay me if you think Im SO evil. I mean hehehe... I'd still come back but if this is going to be your first kill might aswell be me right? "

your hand shook on the blade as they forced your hand forward into their chest.

"STICK TO IT THEN COWARD. FUCKING KILL ME. GO IMPRESS HIM! or are you gonna just make the excuse of killing people is bad? I'll kill sooooo many more people if you don't stop me here hehehe... I'll turn you into a monster too."

your hands shake. you can't. you can't you CAN'T. YOU HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER WAY. THERE HAS TO BE.

#dusttale player #lv triangle #player x reader #bro has mood swings #tw angst #tw themes of suicide

[nereidprinc3ss]

WAIT SHIT I WANST DONE UGHH i accidentally sent it (i was the one who said spencer reid iam in your walls)

anyway i love how the characters are written here, i love how the reader as a character is written and honestly as someone whos never been in a relationship i would probably react the way she did.

and im sorry if im way off about this but for me its very clear that spencer loves the reader or care about the reader in a way that is very close to love but since reader has iced him out he didnt have the chance to clarify what he said over the phone (that doesnt mean he gets to be mean to her tho, like way to make it up to her spence great job!) and reader is obviously trying to protect herself from getting hurt which is very valid of her but i just wish she would stop avoiding him (but honestly i see too much of myself in her like do you know me personally and i honestly do the same thing) and ughhh that ending part! GOSH for me it sounds like spencer was about to apologize but reader cut him off!! I want them to be happy🥹

GOSH THIS IS SO LONG SORRY! ughhh i can talk about them for hoursssss im so excited for part 6 and keep up the good writing cause that was 😫😚

also spencer is still in my shit list that hair thing was uncalled for (is it obvious that my love language is touch lol) he better make it up to reader good. Okay that is all!

yeah the hair tuck was very evil BUT ik some people are choosing to see it as evil and some people are choosing to see it as he just wanted to touch her hair cause he still is obsessed with her he was just being a bitch cause he’s dumb

side note it’s rlly funny that im talking abt the fictional character im in love with when i say that but also so fitting like? whenever i tell people criminal minds is my favorite show i also make sure to tell them it’s terrible and i hate it LOL

#asks