#but god i have had a rough month

[bl33py]

today, after weeks of rain and fog, the sun was finally out. i stepped out to the porch for a moment to check on my cat. this song started playing, it sounded kinda muffled because i left my stereo on the kitchen counter. as i was looking around a ray of sun hit my face. and in that moment, i swear to god, i felt alive again

song of the day 32/365

#NOT TO BE DRAMATIC OR ANYTHING #but god i have had a rough month #maybe a couple of months #unclear #sometimes being in the sun is all it takes #IF ONLY THE SUN WAS OUT MORE #winter is the worst #song of the day #john denver

[merverelli]

chase brody skates jacksepticeye told me himself

#jacksepticeye #septicart #chase brody #jacksepticart #jacksepticegos #just like art #oh my GOD ive had a rough semester #i had THREE WHOLE ASSIGNMENTS DUE ON FRIDAY #TWO OF THEM WERE REPORTS. THE LAST ONE WAS A VIDEO LEARNING RESOURCE. #it all got done but at what COST #AND I HAVE 27 LECTURES TO CATCH UP ON #IM 27 LECTURES IN THE HOLE #*moe szyslak voice* THEYRE GONNA TAKE MY THUMBS #it should be fine i have like a week to catch up but holy fuck #nightmare month #but all of my exams are online and open book so i cant complain too much u know #also for halloween i dressed up like marge simpson and the costume was all handmade #so thats why im so behind BUT i was the best dressed (not to toot my own horn i was complimented alot and told this) #(but also im tooting my own horn it fucking ruled im so proud of my baby) #so it was absolutely worth it #it was in a private function room at a pub and we had to walk though all of the tables/dining area/bar area to get there #and everyone was looking at me lmfao #i lived my model on the runway moment right there and then #people where laughing in their cars at me too LMAOOO it was a good night #anyway its late! good night! maybe more art soon idk man! #ily goodnight!

[cerise-on-top]

hi there! I was wondering if you could write how Farah would react if the reader got hurt because she's the commander of the ULF?

(Btw you are feeding the Farah lovers! Remember to take breaks and such if needed! 💞💞)

Hello! I'm glad to hear that! I do love writing for the girls, after all! I love them dearly and I'm glad you all do too! And I will take breaks if I need them, don't worry!

Reader got Hurt Because of Farah

I think that, although Farah is a very reasonable person and always uses her head instead of her heart, you getting hurt would be one of the few times where she would act out of emotions rather than rational thought. She can’t usually afford such a thing, no matter how distressed she may be, so it basically never happens. But the person who hurt you will come to regret ever getting close to you. She won’t go after them guns blazing, no, she’s way too smart for that. But that person will be dealt with, either immediately or after a while. Farah doesn’t forget, her memory is far too good for that. If she can see your attackers face, good. That way she can either immediately go after them or track them down by memory alone. But if she can’t see it then she’ll spare no expense in finding out who it may have been. It might take a while, but she’ll get her revenge. In fact, you getting hurt would be another big reason for her to fight her war for peace, because in her ideal world, no one gets hurt. Not you, not her brothers or sisters. However, whoever hurt you won’t live to see such a utopia. Farah won’t torture them, but she’ll make quick work of whoever they may be so that they won’t hurt anyone else near and dear to her. But of course, all of this goes once she’s certain you’re alright. Farah will call the best medics she has to make sure you’ll make it, that you’ll end up in as little pain as possible during your recovery. She won’t particularly have the time to be by your side throughout it all, but she’ll come visit you whenever she can, maybe even bringing you a recovery gift or two in the process. Always has someone check up on you. Someone she trusts will come in every once in a while and ask you how you’re doing to give her a report on your status. Yes, she may be on the frontlines fighting a war, but she always needs to know how you’re doing or else she’ll get even more nervous than she should be.

#cod #cod x reader #farah karim #farah karim x reader #the cod women lovers seem to have found me and liked me enough to want to request something from me. lovely #I am once again really tired today. work was rough and I ate some fried calamari today. the portion was so big and I'm stuffed #now I'm super tired but I have to wait until 21:20 until I can go to bed #at the time I'm writing this it's roughly 17:00 so I still have to pass a lot of time until I can finally sleep #anyway I don't have much to say as of right now #might mess around and finish the other two requests I have in my inbox today so some time will pass #I never would have thought I'd ever get into CoD but here I am and I am enjoying myself greatly #it never occurred to me before that it might have a storyline. and now I've been writing for that silly game for roughly two months now #time really does fly by. I got into it last summer actually so I haven't been a fan for too long #it's been fun. I got back into writing. but I only lost my writing spark because of vocational school. vocational school sucks so bad #had no time whatsoever for anything. had to study the entire time and had no time for my hobbies #god I'm looking forward to my apprenticeship leave exam so i never have to go there again #but enough about me on this post. sorry!

[sluckythewizard]

SHHH SH HEYYY HEY DONT TELL ANYONE BUT... ive been workin on smth since BITB came out..... itsa lil musical animatic involvin kian and becky.... ITS NO WHERE NEAR DONE YET but loooook look im puttin lil screenshots under the cut. its supposed to go along with Am I In Heaven? by King Gizzard n the Lizard Wizard. infact yknow what cmere come sit with be bc ALOT of songs from the 'IM IN YOUR MIND FUZZ' album makes me think about becky and kian. oh my god. those two make me so damn emotional. like Her and I was the first one to rly resonate with me, and EMPTY was another good one, all just stuff about. yknow LOVE!! doomed by the narrative yet burning SO SO brightly in its last moments, holding hands, playing music, THEY WERE SO IN LOVE WITH YOU THAT THE COPY OF THEM LOVED YOU, AND YOUR COPY LOVES THEM TOO. WHAT A BEAUTIFUL, CRUMBLING, BURNING, HISSING, SQUIRMING, MELTING, CLICKING LOVE STORY..

GET OVER HERE N SCREAM WITH MEEE I LOVE SCREAMING ABOUT THINGS

#THIS IS A DRAFT that i made like. months ago. woopsie. #BUT IM CHIPPING AWAY AT IT AGAIN. IT CANT STAY UNFINISHED FOREVER. ONE DAY YOU WILL ALL SEE! YOULL ALL SSSEEEE!!!!!!! #no reblogs either this stays between US!!!!!!!!!! #and if you guys like it enough i might post an old fuckin wip i have all packaged together on youtube. its a VIDEO it goes w the MUSIC!! #SOUND WITH THE MOVING IMAGE?? IVE ONLY EVER DONE IT ONCE!!! #ill post the Lord of Lightning animatic i made on tumblr when i get the chance. in the meantime i ahve it posted on twitter. GO FETCH #but THIS SECOND ONE is out there.. all synced together.. #but its a wip and its rough and old and scuffed and i HATE IT. my son whom i wish was dead #but you can see it. for the small small price of uh. begging. #also ouuhh my god i love becky and kian so much... they make me so emotional.. SOMETHING ABT DOOMED SHIPS... #even as the boat sinks these two clung together so tightly. they really really did love eachother so much. even after ten years of ROTTING #of sitting and waiting and wondering 'where is she?' is she lost? hurt? did something happen? is she okay? did she even want to be here? #does she hate me? did she leave because she hated me? she never wanted to see me again? where is she? where is she? guess ill write a song #FOR TEN YEARS. when i was just busy. i was distracted. so much came up. things got serious. my dream became clear and i had to chase it #i didnt know you were waiting. im sorry. i should have chased the thought of you more. but i was busy. i was just busy. #i wish that i could apologize with the throat that was my own. i hope this copy will suffice. i hope this copy will suffice. UGH

[kakashihasibs]

I am so glad emergency vets are a thing

#tw for dog injury and mention of blood #Obi my dad's cattle dog cut himself super bad on some scrap metal in the neighbor's yard #Obi just barreled through it without any hesitation #i think my dad is going to ask the neighbor to clean it up bc it's right next to our yard #but anyway Obi was in bad shape #he was bleeding more than ive ever seen anyone bleed #he hit a vain in his back leg and i had to hold pressure the whole way to the vet #which was about a half hour (which was the closest one) #Obi is okay now #he's still at the Vet under observation #they had to sedate him so they could sew him up but I'm pretty sure he's going to be fine #he'll just have to take it super easy for the next few weeks :( #but god there was so much blood guys #i was covered in it by the time we got to the vet #i had my hand wrapped around his leg pinching the artery as tight as i could #which poor Obi did not enjoy #mind u i used to rick climb so my grip strength is above average #he also had a bad cut on his front leg and my mom was holding that #i didnt even have shoes on we rushed out the door so quickly #at the vet i left a bigger blood trail than obi did bc it was on my socks and clothes #my hands were coated in blood too :( #we grabbed a towel but i wasn't able to get it on the wound bc i was basically using my hands as a shitty tourniquet #my husband got left at home and he ended up cleaning all of the blood off the floor and he's surprised he was able to without feeling faint #my youngest brother was with him and he did almost pass out #my dad is in rough shape he just wants Obi to be okay #my dad said “i dont care how much it costs please save my dog” #which like same but also we're not exactly well off x_x or even okay financially #so it's gonna be a hard few months as we work to pay it off #so anyway how was ur Saturday night? x_x

[schalotte]

what if i slayed....... and slayed so hard?

#SORRY i do have to brag i had such a girlfail winter semester and such a rough time these past few months im just so HAPPY #YAY! YIPPIE EVEN #vlt sollte ich den tag nicht vor dem abend loben ich hab die amerikanistik noten immer noch nicht 😑 only god knows whats going on there #elli.txt

[leviiackrman]

Me: I wanna be productive so bad! I wanna finish my drawings!!

Illness: how about barf up a lung?

#personal* #jess talks #I’m working on such a cute set of drawings you guys… #like I wanna finish them SO BAD #but I’ve had illnesses back to back for 3 weeks now and I still feel rough #not to mention getting my period after 6 months of nothing having one #god I love PCOS🫠 #and I’ve been coughing sm I’ve revived my asthma #so that’s great #anyway winge over #I swear I will post something original soon #but recently it’s just been binging naruto #I even had to cancel going to my best friends birthday plans because she agreed I was too ill and it was for my own good #(which in hindsight is true but I still had a mental breakdown over it) #ANYWAY shut up Jess #I’ve had an awful week at work and need to do something fun #so it’s a mama and daughter day for me on Saturday + chrimbo shopping #and then im gonna FINALLY play the quarry!!! #y’all were so fucking kind im still in disbelief #but I had to wait til payday to get another external hard drive because mine is full🥲 #so that should arrive tomorrow and I can finally play it!!! #the idea of a potential non anime oc too is v exciting #okay im done ranting: peace ✌🏻

[floral-hex]

I just want to get blasted, either out of my mind or into the sun, I’m not picky

#not me looking into the shitty guidelines for getting approved for medical marijuana in arkansas #yeeeaaaah looks like the process is ridiculously convoluted and pricey so nah #but missouri is just a few hours away so who knows #I hate weed for real. I mean it’s cool but I’ve had some bad experiences #but my anxiety is getting pretty rough and it would just be nice if I could turn my brains to mush every once in awhile #whenever my hearing gets bad I start freaking out and panicking and feeling sick. it suuuuuuucks. #anyway I have about 10 ‘emergency’ klonopin left which I don’t like taking bc I’m a hoarder and hate wasting stuff #like in video games when you stockpile potions but never use them #plus that shit can be addictive and I’m not a fan of that idea #tbh tho I diiiid take one earlier and I’ve been feeling preeeetty mellow #I ate two bowls of ice cream and I’m feeling good #I thought I had a drs appt coming soon to talk about anxiety meds but turns out it’s actually next month 🙄 so gonna reschedule that #anyway this was supposed to be a post about wanting to get blazed but I kinda whined all over these tags #whoops #uhhh…. how are you doing? #have you drank enough water today? for real #god I love ice water with a little lemon juice. I drink so much of that a day. it’s the best. #this isn’t important #if you read all of this then I love you #or at least like you. a little. a little bit. you’re good. I appreciate you. #ok I’m gonna go make coffee now #you can ignore this #text

[crvstybowlofcereal]

this is a really specific vent(?) post. im processing things by putting them in words. its not serious, feel free to ignore me lol

i just want to say that a couple years ago when i was in the beginning stages of researching autism (and would soon realize i am most likely autistic) i was in a relationship. and communication in a relationship is So Very important to me. I would constantly ask how he was (obviously it was more specific to whatever situation was going on) and he would always say he was fine. If I had even the Slightest hint that he wasn't actually Fine (like 19 times out of 20) i would continue asking if he was sure and if he wanted to talk, and he continued to say he was fine. half the time i assumed he meant it and i read the situation wrong, the other half of the time i assumed he didn't want to talk about it.

he ended up breaking up with me because i

"didn't pick up on some things"

"what kind of things?" i asked

"idk, just, things."

and he had been talking to my friend (U) about our relationship, and telling her that i wasn't picking up on things. she got mad at me and we had a "fight" for a short time, she thought i was being a bad partner, and her sister (M) (who is toxic and possessive) felt like i wasn't spending enough time with her, so she complained about it to their mom, who got mad at U for it for some reason? so U also brought all that up, telling me M felt left out. (i wasn't leaving M out of anything, i was sitting with my partner at lunch half of the time, she was welcome to join, but didnt, looking back i think M has RSD and maybe i should have been more direct when moving to a new location to explicitly invite her) (U was also not in school at the time due to covid, so its not like i was spending more time with her over M, which is something M would get so upset about if she perceived it to be that way [she was incredibly possessive of me as a friend and the extent of it made me feel like an object tbh])

U never brought up the issues my partner talked about, because that's how we are, we don't make it known someone was venting to us, to respect their privacy, but it fueled her emotions during our "argument" so i really only heard her being mad at me for not including M, (which i later learned is because M's emotions were made to be her problem when they shouldn't have, this has been a running problem so it wasnt that surprising to learn) so i started spending more time with M, but it was school, and i had work, so schedules only allowed so much time, and any time I was with M (lunch and one class) was when i was also with my partner, but i had other classes with him so i assumed it was fine, but he started drifting away (also around a time i attempted to communicate something important about our relationship, which ended up making him uncomfortable, but he didn't say anything about it until we had a conversation after breaking up)

i was stuck in a place where i felt like no one around me communicated how they felt and still expected me to understand them and do what they wanted me to do

U and i recently reflected on this and realized my ex was a shitty communicator (he and his next partner also broke up because he didn't say how he felt and expected them [also most likely autistic] to... just kinda know ig?) and that she should have gotten my side of the story (she had no idea i was frequently checking on him and trying to get him to talk to me)

and that she wasnt actually upset at me about M, she was upset that people were making it her problem, and she was especially upset during this reflection to learn that M was not being left out at all, she was just doing That Thing again where she wanted me to be Her friend and Only Her friend.

U AND I ARE NOT MAD AT EACH OTHER FOR ANY OF THIS, I WAS NEVER MAD AT U AND U WAS ONLY MAD ABOUT HER PERCEPTION OF THE SITUATION, AND ONLY FOR A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME, EVERYTHING IS FINE

so basically i went like a year and a half thinking that people were rightfully mad at me and i was too self absorbed to pay attention to other peoples' emotions and i started learning how to read people again (clearly my body language research from middle school wasn't cutting it anymore) only for me to realize i just need people to be a little more direct that allistic people typically are, and those specific people were just being dogshit at communicating, (even for allistic people, relative to my needs)

anyways highschool post-covid was Really Fucking Weird and socially stressful for me

TL;DR reflecting on my communication needs not only not being met, but being far undershot for even a "normal" persons needs and how i was convinced I was the problem because of circumstances

#U and i are best friends and have been for 7 years now #U and M are twins #M and i barely talk anymore now that she has Other Friends (grateful tbh) #i know i previously brought up having an ex bf with messy hair and eyeshadow. this ex was Not Him #(my identity as a lesbian was shakey in highschool- i was figuring things out) #(i had several “girlfriends” in middle school (all lasting less than a week after the first because religious guilt)) #(but in highschool i had two separate boyfriends and zero girlfriends) #oh god my first ex is such a fucking story but thats for another time #also the ex in this post was like. REALLY fucking obsessed with spiderman #it was great frfr #but it made anything spiderman related super weird for me for a like a year after the breakup #he broke up with me On our 7 month anniversary like right after school got out for summer #the next school year was awkward bc he was in one of my year long classes and we had a LOT of mutual friends #he also started dating his next partner like a week or two after breaking up with me #i was also pushing down ALL my emotions at this time so when i finally Let Myself Feel Things a couple months later i played Good 4 U a LOT #17 was a fucking weird year for me frfr #honestly ALL of my teenage years have been rough and i have never actually let myself acknowledge that before This Moment #and that feels really weird to say because im technically still a teenager #this post ended up way fucking longer than i thought it was gonna be #(also going back to the middle school “relationships” ive sorta-almost-dated a good handful of people #but i only consider 3 people to actually be “exes”)

[rubberbandballqueen]

ONE OF THE STONES FELL OUT OF MY SPINNY RING??? THAT I GOT LESS THAN THREE WEEKS AGO????

#i'm honestly not even that surprised... the ring doesn't even spin that smoothly #last time i had a spinny ring was soph year of high school n god i loved that thing so much #and then it just. fell apart one day during a pep rally or during band #i have kind of a poor history w/stim toys in general bc i'm so rough on them orz #like back when i'd buy chewy necklaces n stuff they'd last like a month bc i'd chew them to shreds #even tho i'd buy the ones meant for heavy biters. i think i need like industrial strength dog toys or smth #tho i have had a baby's teething ring for a few years. it's still coming apart but it's certainly lasting #the worm speaks #anyway the place where i bought the spinny ring also sold cuckoo clocks n music boxes #n it was then that i realized that i Would want a cuckoo clock of sorts But Only if it played the same chime as in princess tutu

[givealittle]

mick...what the fuck

#i had to see it so do you #first the bleach. now........ #mickfuckers have been having a rough few months #and here he comes #with whatever the fuck this is #good god #what the hell happened #mj talks #mick schumacher

[piplupod]

i know the answer is greed and potentially also rising costs but why does anyone need to pay anything over $300 for a place to live. especially when its a studio apartment like... it doesn't make sense idk

#infuriating bc im rly trying to look at if its realistic for me to be alive dnfjdkl #and like. if i get on disability thats 1400 a month (2k is below the poverty line in canada and yet... 1400 is enough for disabled ppl 🤪) #but then most supportive living places want to charge me 70% of my wages (so disability+any money i make outside of that) #like. what am i supposed to use to survive then lol #how tf do u expect me to pay for groceries and transportation and other necessities. i can probably manage that but. #then theres no money left over for fun things. thats fucking miserable #thats 980 for rent. then 420 left over for Anything Other Than Rent #idk if the supportive living places even provide internet or if u have to pay that #so fuck me i guess lmao #i think i can manage like $50 a week for groceries if im careful #which does leave me $220 for anything else. but idk #if i had to pay for internet that'd be roughly $100 from what I've seen for the cheapest plans available... rough #so 120 left for whatever else. also the groceries isnt counting like.. anything other than food oops #so i guess i will just never be able to have any savings djfjdkl #like maybe if i keep my limit of spending to $50 a month for any clothing or ice creams or whatever else #art supplies or plushies or whatever else. doughnuts etc. then maybe i can squirrel away 70 a month #the 50 would also have to go towards bus tickets probably bc govmt doesnt always give u a bus pass for disability #i think u have to pay for it each month? i cant remember #god that sucks #like legit if it's going to be like that then I'd kind of rather kill myself dbdjdl that sounds miserable to me #esp since i have no irl friends and i dont think im going to be able to make any bc im so twitchy and jumpy and bad at socialising fhjdkl #idk. i dont think I'll even be approved for disability to be entirely honest. don't think im disabled enough for the govmt to approve me #so rest in peace me i guess maybe literally fjfjdkl #idk how anyone is alive anymore this is just a fucked up world and i think im tired of dealing w everything #suicide tw #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

[serenedash]

yeah kh oc week is about to start but I don't have much and nothing is colored and I feel really bad about it but I'd feel worse not posting and I have no time at all to do anything and I'm just :(

#delete later maybe idk #sorry this has really been eating at me #and I feel so awful #and its like. idk I feel like I'm letting people down. #idk Who but yeah #I know my oc's are for an audience of Me but yknow #and for once its not ryou focused lol #coloring my fucking beloathed though I hate coloring god. coloring die. #and I just feel like posting uncolored art is bad and awful #idk why I've convinced myself this #the past couple months have just been extremely rough #I have been in a constant fucking state of Going Through It #since my life kind of exploded on me very suddenly back in march I've barely had time to do anything for myself like I used to #and this is the last week at my 2 jobs before I start a brand new steady one #which I'm like so excited about #but its a lot at once #and I hate I was so excited for this week too for oc stuff #but I am just totally flopping and failing #I'm being too hard on myself I know I am #idk #sorry

[thisselflovecamebacktome]

And when I have a mental breakdown over us having no food, what then?

#about me #this is an exaggeration but there's nothing i like and we were meant to go shopping today except i'm sick and feel otherwise fucked up #and I have $1.51AUD in my bank and mum's pulling the 'we have food at home' lmao. and she's right even if I had the money I need to save it #because I need to buy a new mattress and take the car to an autoelectrician in the next month but god it's been a rough 5 days #and i want a comfort treat to eat lmao #anyway that's my rant for today. just be thankful for me that after these two purchases i have nothing big to buy for the rest of the year

[artunderwraps]

the art demon possessed me

mediums used: graphite pencil, sharpie, watercolor

#Art #auwart #artunderwrapsart #thos is a design for a thing my friend made that I don’t know if she’s gonna uze #I like the design #Hope y’all do too :D #Also good night I am tired lol #I’ve had this rough sketch for #Months #i found it in an old paper and remembered it #So bam #For the zero people who asked my old sketchbook got stolen I think so this is a new one #Thank god I have pictures of my old drawings

[youremyonlyhope]

Me: *Feels slightly good about something in my life* Life: Hmm. Nope. *Reminds me of things I should have been a part of but aren't* Me: ...Thanks.

#tonight is a rough-ish night #tomorrow should be better #i need to go to bed #i'm emotionally fragile because i've been watching ugly betty and while parts of it have not aged well AT ALL #there is still a lot of heart in this show and i'm like 5 episodes away from finishing season 1 #and the last couple of episodes had some really nice moments and yeah i'm emotionally fragile from it #then i go to instagram and see a post about a production i should have been a part of but ultimately was not #and i'm just like... why... i SHOULD have been there... #not even a rejection. just limbo. ignored. i'd have rather they just said no to me. instead of never answering. #tomorrow i see the kids i'm designing a show for and that's the only thing i really can look forward to right now #so at least that will make me feel productive about life and that i'm doing something. at least for the morning. #then my brother wants me to go to his friendsgiving but if i go his friends will be like 'so what are you up to' #and i have to say basically nothing. for the last month. nothing. #so i don't want to go but i don't really have a good reason NOT to #god i just had flashbacks because i was like 'i can't even think of the last time i just heard nothing about a production' #but no i can. because that was 2 months before this. so. that still hurts. i've already began blocking it out. not a good sign. #and then the only other time before that was in the most chaotic summer of my life #and THAT'S what caused the flashbacks just now and made me stare into space for a good 30 seconds #remembering it all and ahhhhh things i don't want to think about ahhhhhhhhhh #ugh. ok. i'm going to bed. i'm taking my gabapentin and going to bed. #and hopefully i wake up on time since the last few days i've slept in late due to being near-depressed yayyyy life sucks #and now i have a headache woohoo